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archivingspn · 4 years ago

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2018: Twitter- pasladeuxieme, battingpractice, and TeamFreeWillBT

Context: After the SPNUK 2018 J2M panel question about eyefucking being a stage direction in scripts between Dean and Cas, several factions began engaging in discussions and arguments about the intent behind the spn writers’ word choice. In response to this, on May 8th 2018, pasladeuxieme tweeted out a series of tweets and screenshots from 8x02′s yellow pages to show where they remembered seeing the use of “eye-fuck” in the script as shorthand for an intense stare for the brothers, Sam and Dean.

pasladeuxieme: “Was telling Bri while I couldn't remember one between Dean and Cas, I could vaguely remember seeing 'eyefuck' in the stage directs of one of the scripts we have - found it :p ‘[image:

"What's Up, Tiger..." Yellow Pages 7/26/12 9. 2 CONTINUED : 12

SAM So things like that don't ever happen again.

Ms. Tran takes that in the pain of Eunis still fresh. Then-- she EYES Kevin.

MS. TRAN Prophet of the lord, huh? (then, a warm smile) That does have a nice ring to it.

A note of approval-- Kevin smiles sweetly...

MS. TRAN I'll get packed. Ms. Tran makes for her bedroom.

Dean turns to Sam--

DEAN We're gonna need a new safe-house, since Crowley's been to the cabin--

MS. TRAN (stopping in her tracks) Safe house? I thought we were going after the tablet?

DEAN We are. You're taking a trip to the demon-free zone.

MS. TRAN And risk letting Kevin fall into the hands of this Crowley, again? (then, firm) I don't think so.

Sam and Dean exchange an EYEFUCK-- here we go.

SAM Ma'am, Dean's right. Crowley-- he's not just a killer. He trades in torment. And if he can find a way to separate you from your soul? He'll take it to Hell and roast it 'til there's nothing but black smoke...]’”- 9:19 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

pasladeuxieme: “So many EXPRESSIONS being swapped between these hunter sibs. 5 dollars says Dabb wrote these stage directions with a thesaurus at hand ‘[image: "What's Up, Tiger..." Yellow Pages 7/26/12 10. CONTINUED: (2) 12

MS. TRAN So, a soul is more valuable than a life?

SAM Ma'am, a soul is forever. Your life is just a vessel... (then) It would really be best if you left this to us.

Ms. Tran takes a good long beat to consider that. Then--

MS. TRAN I understand. (then) But it's not my soul I'm worried about-- it's my son's.

She's STRONG. Sam and Dean trade an OMINOUS LOOK-- fearing the worst. Then turn to Kevin.

DEAN Gonna back us up here, Kev? (then) We came all the way out here to pull her ass out of the fire and now she wants to jump back in.

KEVIN Like I can tell her what to do.

Sam and Dean exchange a KNOWING NOD.

DEAN Coming with has conditions. Hex bags to keep you off the bad guys' radar. And you're gonna have to ink up.

KEVIN Do what now?

SAM You too, short stop--]’” - 9:24 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

battingpractice: “wait i found it ‘[image: (then) Sunshine and sandy beaches.

Satisfied, Dean goes all-in for the PIB. Kevin processen that for a beat-- watching Dean take a fork to the pie.

KEVIN Dean. My Mom's all alone-- And surrounded by Demons. (then) Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?

That stops Dean COLD-- fork hovering by his mouth. Dean looks over to Sam-- remembering his own Mother. Sam gives him a slight shrug, knowing the kid's right.

Dean eyes his pie, perched beautifully on the end of his fork-- he wants that bite so badly.

DEAN Son of a bitch.

Dean STABS his fork into the PIE, moving out of the BOOTH. Kevin SMILES, victorious, and we're on the move--]’“ - 9:26 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

pasladeuxieme: “Here's an eyefuck involving everyone's favorite King of Hell ‘[image: SAM all good-- just need to come up with a Plan B.

Then-- a familiar VOICE from off-camera.

CROWLEY (O.S.) what, pray-tell, could possibly have been Plan A?

The boys BURN-- and TURN to see CROWLEY. Standing smug.

CROWLEY Bring the prophet to the most dangerous place on earth, memorize the tablet and then-- va-moose?

That one's pointed at Sam-- a weary eye-fuck from the boys.

CROWLEY Oh, and salutations, by the way.

BLACKOUT.

END OF ACT TWO]’”- 9:27 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

battingpractice: “Meanwhile, the same episode's direction for D-C is "Dean locks eyes with Cas, FIRM" which ends up as an actual eye f-u-ck but was not actually spelled out that way in the script ‘[image:

DEAN No. (then, to Cass) Cass, we're getting outta here. We're going home.

That word hits Cass hard-- something about it makes him visibly ANXIOUS.

CASTIEL Dean, I can't--

DEAN Yeah, we can. Tell him.

He's talking to Benny. The monster shrugs.

BENNY Purgatory's got an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel friendly.

Dean locks eyes with Cass, FIRM.

DEAN We'll make it work. (then) I need you, Cass. And if the Chompers wanna take a shot, I say let 'em. We ganked those bitches]’”- 9:32 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

pasladeuxieme: “Not an eyefuck but here are some Destiel-y stage directions around the iconic "too much heart was always Castiel's problem" 😢 ‘[image:

what's Up, Tiger..." Yellow Pages 7/26/12 28. CONTINUED: (3) 25

ALFIE You know, there are some in Heaven who still believe that, despite mistakes, Castiel's heart was always in the right place.

DEAN You one of 'em?

ALFIE I think... too much heart was always Castiel's problem.

Alfie moves off and we hold on Dean-- the angel's words hitting home. CUT TO--

EXT. CLEARING - PURGATORY - DAY (FLASHBACK)]’“- 9:49 PM May 8, 2018

[source]

pasladeuxieme: “No textusl eyefucks in 9x23, but check out the stage directions for Cas reacting to Metatron advising Dean is dead - "Castiel reacts - stunned" got turned into everything Misha did there.... ‘[image:

"Do You Believe in Miracles?" Pink Pages 4/16/14 39. 44 CONTINUED: 44

METATRON Ah. So, Gadreel bites the dust, the Angel Tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe, is in pieces... And for what, now? That's right. To save Dean Winchester. (then) That was your cause wasn't it? You draped yourself in the flag of Heaven but, ultimately, this was all to save a human, wasn't it? Well, guess what? He's dead too.

Castiel reacts, stunned, as-- CHUNK! His arms are suddenly CUFFED to the chair.

METATRON And you're sitting in my chair.

45 INT. ABANDONED PLANT - NIGHT 45

Dean bleeds out on the ground. Alive, but barely. Sam tears up bits of his shirt to fashion a tourniquet. All business.]’“ - 2:48 AM May 9, 2018

[source]

Context: Three years afterwards, May 20 2021, TeamFreeWillBT made a different thread on three additional instances of eyefucking plus the ones found in 8x02:

TeamFreeWillBT: “Eyef*cks in the Supernatural scripts 8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy? 13.08 The Scorpion and the Frog 13.21 Beat the Devil ‘[image:

A note of approval-- Kevin smiles sweetly...

MS. TRAN I'll get packed. Ms. Tran makes for her bedroom.

Dean turns to Sam--

DEAN We're gonna need a new safe-house, since Crowley's been to the cabin--

MS. TRAN (stopping in her tracks) Safe house? I thought we were going after the tablet?

DEAN We are. You're taking a trip to the demon-free zone.

MS. TRAN And risk letting Kevin fall into the hands of this Crowley, again? (then, firm) I don't think so.

Sam and Dean exchange an EYEFUCK-- here we go.

[image: SAM all good-- just need to come up with a Plan B.

Then-- a familiar VOICE from off-camera.

CROWLEY (O.S.) what, pray-tell, could possibly have been Plan A?

The boys BURN-- and TURN to see CROWLEY. Standing smug.

CROWLEY Bring the prophet to the most dangerous place on earth, memorize the tablet and then-- va-moose?

That one's pointed at Sam-- a weary eye-fuck from the boys.

CROWLEY Oh, and salutations, by the way.BLACKOUT.END OF ACT TWO]

[image: As Dean turns the key in the lock-- it opens with A CLICK to REVEAL-- BONES. A WHOLE DUSTY SKELETON'S WORTH.

SHRIKE Bart's bones. You burn them, he dies too. THAT'S my leverage. (then) You're on the wrong side of this, boys-- (a loaded beat) Just gotta ask yourselves if you can live with that.

The boys eye-fuck. Can they?

BART (O.S.) He's right, those ARE my bones.

Sam, Dean and Smash look up-- THERE'S BART! Standing next to Shrike.]

[image:

GABRIEL My tank's a little low right now. Getting vengeance took a lot out of me, and even on a good day, I-- (sheepish, defensive) I have a long refractory window, okay? (then, confident) But archangel grace? It's like, the Four Loko of angelic emissions. It'll be more than enough to get the job done.

Off Gabe's confidence, our heroes eyefuck. It's go time.

QUICK CUTS:

--Our heroes LOAD UP for battle, dressing/ARMING themselves for Apocalypse World. Angel blades, knives, guns. Apocalypse World-appropriate clothing.

INT--MEN OF LETTERS - LIBRARY MOMENTS LATER 4]’“- 7:39 PM May 20, 2021

[source]

TeamFreeWillBT: “9.05 Dog Dean Afternoon ‘[image:

DYLAN --and it's not like we could go to the cops--

OLIVIA --so now we look like total douche bags *cause we have to wear sunglasses inside.

Olivia and Dylan removes their sunglasses to reveal... puffy, bloodshot eyes, surrounded by dead tissue? It looks like textbook gangrene. As Sam and Dean eyefuck--

DEAN (PRE LAP) Necrosis?

INT. MOTEL - DAY

Sam sits in front of his laptop. Dean looks over his shoulder, bottle o’ beer in hand.]’”- 7:39 PM May 20, 2021

[source]

8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Written by: Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin

9.05 Dog Dean Afternoon

Written by: Eric Charmelo and Nicole Snyder

9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?

Written by: Jeremy Carver

13.08 The Scorpion and the Frog

Written by: Meredith Glynn

13.21 Beat the Devil

Written by: Robert Berens

#2018-May #2018:May8 #*destiel #*eyefucking #*spn 8x02 #*spn 9x05 #*spn 9x23 #*spn 13x08 #*spn 13x21 #writer: Andrew Dabb #writer: Daniel Loflin #writer: Eric Charmelo #writer: Nicole Snyder #writer: Jeremy Carver #writer: Meredith Glynn #writer: Robert Berens #Twitter #*scripts

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 4 years ago

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Supernatural 15x20, Carry On -- Review

Alright, we’re at last here. I can’t believe it. And what a waste of time that episode was! It seems “the finale” did indeed keep to task with the rest of the season, in a season of “meh” episodes, the finale continued to be a “meh” episode. Actually, I can’t even really call this a finale. Last week’s episode was the finale, this episode was the epilogue, a very subpar fanfiction-esque epilogue. And I make the fanfiction comment with a very heavy heart. I love fan fiction, I love that we can continue the stories we love through fan fiction and sometimes, a lot of fanfiction can be better than its source material. But also, sometimes, fanfiction has a tendency to be one-note. Fanfictions have a tendency to focus and hone in on one aspect of the story and tell just THAT story and the epilogues in these fanfics usually reflect that. Very one-note, only give regard to the main thing they honed in on the story. And there’s nothing really wrong with that but the weight of the story does feel less and kind of empty, the story doesn’t feel fleshed out and so in the epilogue, you don’t really feel a sense of closure and that’s what this episode felt like...and the series finale for a legacy show like this shouldn’t feel like that.

But let’s cease with the rambling and get on with this. There will probably be spoilers, So definitely if you haven’t seen the episode yet and you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this post. Although granted, I don’t know how you’re online reading this and also have somehow managed to avoid spoilers. Teach me your ways, please!

As I’m sure most of you are aware, the finale isn’t great. It’s not even really a particularly strong episode. I felt things watching it and even cried a couple of times but that’s because my sensitive ass will cry at anything even slightly tear-jerky. I definitely understand why a lot of the fandom doesn’t like this episode. But also unfortunately, I’m not too surprised that the episode turned out like this. Disappointed but not surprised. When you think about how networks operate, it makes sense. Though our fandom is big and vocal, all that matters to the CW execs is that people come back to the CW. Now granted, some of us may be forever turned off to the CW because of this incident but those numbers aren’t going to mean anything to the CW. Because as large as we are as a fandom, the general audience is much larger and that’s who the CW execs are trying to keep. The general audience, a lot of them aren’t going to be paying attention to the finer story beats, to the subtext, to the meta, to the foreshadowing. No, the general audience just wants something that’s mildly entertaining they can turn the tv onto while they cook dinner or wash the dishes or whatever. It hurts but this finale was not meant for the fandom. It was for the general audience. And if I take my fandom goggles off, I can see how this finale might be satisfying to the general audience who don’t really have too big of an investment.

But also looking at this episode from a critical standpoint, I can also tell this episode is empty, its lacking in emotion. And I say this as the girl that cried mid-way through this episode. Because while I was crying and I was sad for Sam but then I was also happy for Sam, even though I was crying through these moments, I also wasn’t feelaing anything beyond the base emotion of happiness for a character or sadness for a character. When a story makes me get emotional I’m crying because of all sorts of conflicting emotions and I’ll forever go back to those tear-jerker moments whenever I feel like I need a good cry -- Tommy’s death on Arrow, Jenna’s death in TVD, Fred’s death in Angel, the Season 2 finale of The 100. All of those things not only made me cry because I felt things for the characters but also because there was a story element that reverberated inside of me, something about it made me feel alive and glad to be alive so I could experience it. So while I was crying for Sam’s loss of Dean, while I was crying tears of happiness when Sam was finally living the life he always wanted, the story felt empty to me and I couldn’t truly be happy with what I was feeling. And when it comes right down to it, while this finale meets all the basic standards it needs to in order to be a finale, that’s all it does. There isn’t anything special about it. It makes callbacks to how it began, it has just enough nostalgia to get by and it creates an ending for the characters. But that’s all it does. It meets the bare minimum to be a finale and I”m disappointed in that. I haven’t been loving this show for a few seasons, really since season 12, but I still kept on hoping the show would pull itself together long enough for at least a memorable season finale. As bad as they were, I will still always remember the finales for Game of Thrones or How I Met Your Mother. Supernatural’s finale was so uninspired, I don’t even really care to remember it.

But let’s talk about what happened in this finale. First, some good points. I liked that we did see Sam openly mourning Cas and Jack. My Sastiel heart lived for that. And I’m also very happy Sam was able to live the life he wanted. I’m also very happy that Cas is not still stuck in the Empty, however, I do admit that if he was broken out so easily, it really kind of detracts from the initial sacrifice he made for Jack and for Dean and Sam.

Things that I did not like, that essentially things were just kind of the same as in Season 1. You know, Sam gets his apple pie life but I kind of wish there was a little more of spark to that kind of life. Like this was something we talked about my blog a long time ago about a possible endgame for Sam but let’s say the Winchesters did kind of open like an organization for hunting monsters. Like, Sam could handle the legal aspects of something like that. He could go to law school and he could represent victims that were put in tough situations because their bodies were possessed or their on the line for a crime they didn’t commit because no one believes that a monster killed their loved one. So I just kind of wish we had gotten kind of a catch to Sam living his apple pie life. Living that life, doing what he always wanted to do, but also still helping people the way that Sam feels he needs to help people. So I wish we’d kind of gotten something more along those lines. I also don’t like that it takes Dean actually dying for Sam to feel like he has Dean’s permission to finally live that life. At first, I was going to feel sorry for Dean for dying in such a dumb way, but screw that. Dean put all of his self-hatred and baggage and dragged Sam down with him and made Sam feel like crap for even dreaming about something different. So Dean, you and that rusty nail deserve each other. I don’t even want to ship you with Crowley anymore. The ship you deserve is with Rusty Nail.

So uh, let’s talk about Dean now and the return of Jenny the Vampire. I completely forgot she existed. But yeah, she was a thing but she’s so loosely connected to Dean and Dean’s character arc, it’s like, there’s a lot of other monsters that would make more sense for Dean to die at the hands of. Like in Season 7 I believe, when Dean killed Sam’s friend in front of her son and he told the son that when he gets older, feel free to come after Dean. That would make more sense and have a kind of literary weight to it. Dean’s death would’ve been the result of his own actions and decisions years prior when he killed that woman on a whim. Dean and Sam could’ve come back from the vampire nest, after dropping the boys off, maybe they stopped at gas station to get some food and as Dean is walking around the corner to a bathroom, that’s when the now grown kid pops up in front of him and as Dean has a flashback to the kid and what he did to that kid, the kid stabs him in the heart like Dean did to his mother.

Now the two brothers ending up in heaven together and presumably spending eternity together, while this may be a wincest or bibros wet dream, to me, I don’t know, it kind of feels pathetic. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love my brothers and I absolutely would go to the ends of the earth for them and I will mourn their deaths, but I also don’t want to be defined by them. I don’t want to feel like they’re so intrinsically a part of me that I need them in order to be truly happy or completed. While it might be nice to see them when I go to heaven, I would hope that I had grown to a point that there are also other things to me that are important that I would like to experience in heaver, you know? Plus, this whole ending feels like a slap in the face for what the show is most well-known for: found family and “family don’t end in blood”. The finale basically says, yes, family does end in blood, my blood is my soulmate basically. And I don’t really like that.

Let’s talk about Cas and I don’t even have to be a Destiel shipper to be angry about how Cas was treated. I understand what they did in 15x18, and it does make a certain amount of literary sense, but considering there was no sense of closure to the act and it really kind of falls flat. And it makes you think, “so if what Cas needed in order to be truly happy was to admit that he loved his family” well, didn’t he already do that back in season 12? So it just kind of makes 15x18 feel kind of pointless. Yes, 15x18 was something that needed to happen for Cas and it made literary sense but that was only the first part of what his ending needed to be. The second part of his ending was hearing it back. Not necessarily a love confession from Dean (you all know Destiel is a thing of the past for me, I don’t ship them anymore) but what Cas needed to hear back was that his family loved him. We know they loved him but his own insecurities stopped him from truly feeling and believing it. And that’s the part the show missed and that’s what makes 15x18 fall flat and it makes Cas’s character arc feel incomplete.

And also, it’s really sad to think that Sam never got to say goodbye to Cas. That’s something that Sam must feel very unresolved about and why he just lets the guilt eat up at him about it. My Sastiel heart needs one more final SamCas heart to heart.

But I think that’s all I got for this episode. What grade would I give this episode. A big solid F-...I ‘m just kidding. It wasn’t that bad but nor was it anything great either. As I mentioned, the finale did what it needed to in order tom meet the bare minimum requirements for a finale, so honestly, I’d probably give this episode a D+. It meets the standards but it also doesn’t execute them very well so I don’t feel comfortable giving it a C.

#spn 15.20 #spn 15x20 #spn carry on #sam winchester #castiel #anti dean winchester #because I wasn't very nice to dean in this review

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pinegreenapples · 5 years ago

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Kick My Ass, Why Dontcha?

A slip into the Early Years. ;)

Halt had run away from a lot of things when he left Hibernia for the backwoods podunk town of Redmont two years ago. His brother, social responsibility, parental pressure, and-perhaps the most daunting of his troubles-going to a four year college for a degree he didn’t want solely so he could inherit his father’s company.

Which was why meeting Crowley had been great. Crowley didn’t give a shit about college and had mostly just been hanging around Redmont while he waited for his calling to come and smack him over the head. And while Halt wasn’t exactly the calling he had been expecting per se, he definitely was instrumental in launching Crowley into making some decisions.

He decided to enlist in the park ranger service alongside Halt and offered his spare bedroom to the newcomer by route of asking where he planned to store his ugly ass boots that night.

Of course, insulting someone’s choice of footwear wasn’t the most recommended way to gain a roommate but it somehow worked for them in between the barbs and the mock tussling.

And seeing as both boys had no interest whatsoever in entering the local college, Halt never expected to ever have to deal with anything even remotely involving college life.

Unfortunately, while Halt’s desire to avoid college was mostly social, Crowley’s aversion fell squarely on the academic side of things, leaving him open to any and all party invites. And that, Halt supposed, was the reason he was perched on an armrest in a frat basement, clutching a bright red concoction of gatorade and cheap vodka.

Perhaps the most frustrating part of all this, Halt thought as he sniffed the cup, was that the vodka was rather upsettingly flavored like watermelon while the gatorade was cherry lime and none of those fruits went well together, no matter how drunk you were.

He swirled the liquid in his cup and glanced over at the makeshift dance floor. Crowley was there. He had taken two minutes to drag Halt over to the drink station, chug a shot and then left immediately to dance. He now had a loyal gaggle of coeds around him, drunkenly swaying to the beat. He caught Halt’s eye and did a vague Macarena motion.

Halt ignored him and stared down at the toxic mixture in his hand instead. It slopped like cherry cough syrup against the side of the cup. Halt grimaced. Yeahhhh, nope.

Halt got up and started walking towards the kitchen. He was gonna need something else if he was gonna get buzzed tonight.

***

After a thorough inspection of the kitchen, Halt found a slightly less cheap bottle of whiskey that was wonderfully unopened. He poured himself a glass and threw it back.

Compared to the red sludge Halt had been handed at the start of the evening, the whiskey was nearly heavenly. Halt poured himself another glass. And another. And another. By the fifth glass, Halt was feeling great.

So great, that he decided maybe mingling wouldn’t be so bad right then and got up to find Crowley. However, as with most drunk people, Halt got distracted.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. My dad brought it back from Germany on his last trip.”

Halt peered at the watch the kid was showing off. A dim part of his brain muttered something about the kid sounding like a douchey fuck boy.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

The kid turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Now that Halt looked at him, in his khaki board shorts and untucked button up, he looked like even more of a fuck boy than he sounded.

“The metal is already starting to tarnish a little and Montblanc moved to finishing their watches with stainless steel because it will last longer and look nicer.” Halt took a swig from his glass and started to turn away, already bored.

“And just who the hell are you?” The fuck boy sneered down at Halt.

In many ways, Drunk Halt was very different from Sober Halt. He was more gregarious and flamboyant-anyone could see that from the way he let his hips sway as he walked and flirted with every third person he saw-but most of all, Drunk Halt was willing to acknowledge what sober Halt wouldn’t-his legacy and his fame.

Being the son of a highly successful businessman, Halt had been in several op-eds and even more newscasts than he could count. And while Sober Halt had hated being under such public scrutiny, Drunk Halt reveled in it.

So with the elegance and flair of drunken socialite, Drunk Halt turned back to Fuck Boy and pointed to his face.

“Google it, bitch!”

Drunk Halt took a moment to bask in the stunned looks he received from Fuck Boy and Co. then flipped them the bird and walked off. Or at least he tried to.

Halt’s arm yanked back as Fuck Boy grabbed it and swung him around like a carousel horse to meet his fist.

***

Crowley had been having a good time at the party so far. He’d gotten pleasantly buzzed on watermelon vodka and had spent a great few hours dancing and flirting with a junior who was studying Biology but looked more interested in learning about his biology tonight.

He was even contemplating asking if he could stay the night at her place when a ruckus started up behind him. Crowley glanced behind him to see people running. Several of them had phones out and were jockeying to see something further ahead.

“Hey!” Crowley flagged down one of the people running. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a fight!”

“A fight?” Crowley felt his stomach drop.

“Yeah! Two dudes are going at it in the living room!”

Oh hell.

Crowley got up and started running towards the commotion. He pushed through the throng, craning to catch a glimpse of what was going on but to no avail. The crowd was too dense. He continued to shove his way through until he was near the front. Still he couldn’t see anything. Crowley gave one last push and burst through the circle of people to watch just as Halt ducked under the other guy’s fist and landed a hit to his solar plexus. The kid doubled over.

Well that’s just swell. We’re never getting invited back here again.

Crowley tried to step forward but the crowd swelled around him. The kid straightened himself only to get knocked flat by a right hook. Crowley winced at the crack the kid’s nose made.

The crowd oohed in delight. The kid’s friend rushed to help him up as Halt spat blood out. Crowley finally extricated himself from the last of the crowd and grabbed Halt’s upper arm.

“Hey bud, I think it’s time to go home now.”

Halt turned a disdainful eye to him. “I’m teaching an asshole a lesson.”

Crowley tugged him backwards. “I think he’s learned it.”

Halt scowled. He stood staring at Fuck Boy for a second before flipping him off. Crowley pulled harder and managed to squeeze the both of them through the throng of people and into the hall. They scampered out the door and ran two blocks before pausing to catch their breath.

Crowley turned to examine his friend, picking up his hands to check the knuckles for splits. Halt let him, keeping his hands limp as he stared at the sky.

“I leave you alone for a few hours and you get drunk and start a fight!” Crowley scolded.

“He started it. Not my fault his dad is shitty and bought him a cheap airport watch.” Halt sniffed and snatched his hands away.

Crowley sighed. “I can’t believe you.”

Halt crossed his arms and looked away. Crowley sighed again.

“Look, let’s just go home okay? You’re going to have a nasty headache tomorrow and the sooner I can get ibuprofen into you, the less we have to suffer tomorrow. Sound good?”

Halt frowned at him. “But I’m the one with a headache.”

Crowley slid his arm around Halt’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “Yes, but I have to live with you when you have a headache and that’s almost as bad.”

Halt made an offended noise.

“Oh don’t even start. We both know you’re like a bear with a head cold when you’re not feeling well.”

Halt grunted, neither confirming nor denying. Crowley fought the urge to laugh. Cagey as ever, aren’t you?

“Right, let’s get going, shall we?” The two of them walked home, and if Halt leaned in a little more than normal into Crowley’s body heat, he chalked it up to the fact that Drunk Halt was much cuddlier than Sober Halt and tried to enjoy it while it lasted.

#the ranger's apprentice #ranger's apprentice #halt o'carrick #crowley meratyn #drunk shenanigans #crowley has shitty taste in liquor pass it on #halt is a sassy drunk #ananas writes #modern au #mine

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trollhunter94 · 7 years ago

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Listen Closely

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Others: Sam, Dean and Crowley

Warnings: Cannon Divergence, Swearing.

Words: 3.8K

A/N: Part 4 of the Castiel Soulmate series. Here’s Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, __, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7. I want to thank you guys for sticking with me as this series develops, especially @sumara62 and her words of encouragement.

Summary: A pit stop for the night allows you to get acquainted with your kidnappers and the mess that they’re dealing with. A quiet chat with Castiel allows him to get to know you… much more intimately.

Ten minutes of silence followed your outburst and the thumping against the back of your seat had thankfully stopped. You occasionally glanced up, feeling the tension disappear as the conversation between Sam and Dean began to flow again.

The subject of their conversation was ‘Dick’. You weren’t entirely sure whether they were talking in sexual innuendos or referring to a person. Either way, you had no idea what they were talking about, feeling even more lost and secluded.

Castiel had resumed the position of staring ominously out of the window, deep in thought and internal debate. Every twenty minutes or so, you would glance away from the scenery through your window to watch the Angel.

By the time Castiel next looked over at you, the car had driven hundreds of miles and the sun was beginning to set. As the car approached a local motel, Dean slowed down and signalled to turn in, causing Sam to look curiously at him. “Dean. We know where the trucks are gonna be. Why are you stopping?”

Dean pulled up into the parking lot and switched the ignition off. “Look, Sammy. I need to rest, okay? It’s been a long drive and some of us need our four hours".

“Uh, yes please” you sighed from the back seat, prompting all three of them to turn and look at you. “It’s settled then" Dean said, closing the debate. “Right, I’m gonna check us in. Two rooms should do it”.

Sam nodded in reluctant agreement, reaching to pick up his bag as you and Dean opened the car doors in unison. As you stepped out to the parking lot, you took in your surroundings as Dean strolled towards the building. The hotel was situated at the side of the interstate, cars speeding past and the smell of gas fumes thick in the air.

Two metallic clunking sounds were heard as Castiel stepped out the car, quickly followed by Sam, who walked over to the trunk. You edged closer, curious as to how they managed to trap a Demon in there. As Sam lifted the door, you noticed the white symbols and markings painted on it.

Crowley’s long-winded grunt was instantly heard as the fading sunlight filled the dark and stuffy trunk. He squinted, looking up at the two tall figures that towered above him. “Alright. Come on. Up you get”. Sam gripped Crowley’s arm and yanked him out.

“Uh, not so rough, Moose. I’m feeling delicate after that bumpy ride”. Sam took his jacket off and placed it over Crowley’s handcuffs before retorting back. "Shut up. Nobody cares about your comfort Crowley”.

As both men led him towards the motel, you followed behind and he began to plead to you. “You can’t let them do this to me. I have rights! Please, you have to help me. I’ll make it worth your while”.

Sam tugged on the special handcuffs, making Crowley jerk forwards. Castiel quickly swivelled around to advise you. “Don’t fall for his dirty tricks, Y/N. He’ll say anything to gain his freedom”. You silently nodded, wondering why they were holding him captive in the first place. Were these people the bad guys?

Meeting Dean in the walkway, he opened the door of room 24, where Castiel and Sam dragged the Demon inside. You began to follow but Dean quickly intercepted, placing an arm across the doorway. He turned the doorknob to 23, the next room over and gestured for you to enter.

“You’re in here with me love. We’re keeping you away from that ass-hat. Don’t trust a single thing he says, okay?” You quickly obliged, stepping into the room and inspecting the interior. It was a basic room, with two queen-sized beds, cable and magic fingers.

Half an hour had passed before the doorknob turned and the brothers came waltzing in, giving you nods of greeting as they wiped their feet and scanned the room. They shifted about, pulling items out of their bags and settling in. Sam pulled his laptop out of his bag as Dean took some items into the bathroom.

You tapped your hands on the table, unsure of what to do. You had no belongings with you anymore, no way of contacting home, so you decided to spark up a conversation. “So, what do you guys do exactly?”

Sam approached the table, placing his laptop down and perching on a chair. “We’re Hunters. Or at least we used to be. We kill monsters and save people from the supernatural”.

“Hunters?” you repeated back at him. “Hunting monsters?” He smirked with a look of familiarity at your scepticism, illustrating how many times he’s had to convince people that this other world existed. “Yep”.

You nodded your head, thinking that these people were just crazy. Why would any sensible person make a career out of this?

Dean came strolling out of the bathroom in the midst of brushing his teeth. “It’s true” he mumbled with a mouthful of toothpaste before strolling back out of sight. You took it with a pinch of salt. “Okay, so what do you guys do now?”

Sam answered you with a nonchalant attitude. “Not much, just saving the world from catastrophic threats”. You scoffed and then laughed at his words. “No, seriously?”

Dean walked back in, face stone cold and expressionless. “Seriously. We save the world. Multiple times now”. Your smile dropped, realizing that these guys were serious. They must be crazy.

“From what exactly?”

“Well”… Sam rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the right words. “We stopped Lucifer from bringing on the apocalypse”. Your eyes squinted, fully doubtful of this. “What, the actual apocalypse? As in, four horsemen, biblical damnation apocalypse?”

Both of them nodded their heads in agreement. You ran a hand down the side of your face before stroking your chin, trying to soak in this craziness. “So Lucifer is real? And he was here on earth, just roaming about?”

“He was topside”, Dean replied. “That was until Sammy here shoved his ass back into his cage”. He gave Sam a heavy pat on the shoulder, causing him to jump a little, crossing his arms. “The new threat is these slimy sons of a bitches. Leviathans”.

“Okay” you paused him with a hand gesture, trying to take in this information. “So Lucifer is gone, and the apocalypse was stopped, by you two?” They nodded their heads again before Dean interjected. “And Castiel, Bobby and some other good friends of ours”.

“That’s insane” you said, high pitched and full of disbelief. Sam huffed with amusement and uncrossed his arms. “Well, insane is kinda what we do”.

“Okay”, you nodded your head slowly in acceptance of these facts. “So, what are these Leviathans and why are they a threat?”

They looked at each other before Dean motioned for Sam to answer this question. “Okay, don’t freak out” he began, holding his hands up cautiously. “But they’re ancient creatures that broke out of purgatory and are basically trying to turn all humans into prime cattle”.

Your eyebrows knitted at his explanation. “What?”

Dean walked to the fridge, opening the door and grabbing a beer. “They’re tampering with the food supply. Trying to fatten us up like prized turkeys, making us non-resistant and easy to pluck”.

“But how can they do that?” You questioned them, brows furrowed and a hand raised in scepticism. “People won’t just accept this. Surely the powers that be have some say against this? The police? The government?”

Dean sat back down and leant forward slightly, keeping stern eye contact and lifting his hand. “Ever heard of Roman Industries?”

“Yeah”… You prompted him to continue.

“Well, Dick Roman is their leader. He’s the one who’s funding this whole campaign”. You sat there shocked as Dean leaned back in his chair and took a swig of the beer.

This instantly cleared up the context of their conversation in the car earlier. You lowered your eyes, thinking about their current predicament, when a thought occurred to you. Looking back up at the two Hunters, you plead your case. “I can totally help you guys. Use me as bait or something”.

Dean glared at you before dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand. “Nope. Not happening. You’re staying here”.

Sam thought you were right to offer help. He began to convince his brother. “Dean, think about this for a minute. I mean, she can help us. We need as many boots on the ground as possible if we’re gonna beat these things”.

Dean shook his head in a blind refusal. “No Sammy, we can’t look after her and keep hold of Crowley. There won’t be enough time for any kind of error and if this shit goes sideways, we won’t get another chance to nail the bastard”.

Sam shifted his eyes in deep thought before shooting them straight back to Dean with an idea. “What if she and Cas deal with the warehouse and we take Crowley straight to Dick? Two birds with one stone”.

Dean’s face was portraying a blank disapproval. “What don’t you get about this Sam? She’s an untrained civilian. Placing her in the centre of this mess will only get her killed. She’d last two minutes in there, tops”.

You piped up, feeling underestimated and positive that you could be helpful to their cause. “Excuse me. She is right here. And I’m up for the task. Just tell me how to kill these things”. This was a chance be a part of something huge. A life-changing adventure and a chance to save the world!

Your enthusiasm made Sam smile. “See” he gestured to Dean. “She’ll be alright. We’ll just load her up on Borax”.

He picked up a large canister of cleaning product and placed it on the table. You read the label before looking at them sceptically. “That’s their weakness? Cleaning fluid?”

“Yeah, it literally melts their skin. It’s like a scene from Terminator” Dean said, failing to contain his excitement. The surprise of these facts slowly transitioned into realization, that this mission was actually achievable and sounded pretty bad-ass.

“Oh my God. Please let me come and fight? I want to do this. I can do this, guys. I’m ready”. The way you raised your hands pleadingly may have portrayed a hint of desperation but may have just played in your favour.

Dean raised a hand with caution. “Alright. Calm down, Calamity. Let’s not willingly jump at the chance of certain death”. His gaze quickly shifted to his brother. “Sam, are you sure about this?”

He knew from previous experience that this plan was going to fail, but the certainty that was portrayed on his little brother’s face, reminded him of how strong and resilient they were as a team. Besides, Castiel could take care of you better than him or Sam ever could.

A deep breath was followed by his surrender. “Alright. But I’m not happy about this plan”. His eyes moved from Sam to you with a pointed finger. “If you die, it’s not on me”.

“I’ll be alright” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “I’ve got an Angel watching over me”. Dean’s eyes lifted to the doorway as he thought about his best friend. “Where is the brooding idiot anyway?”

Sam walked to the window, pulling back the thin, blue curtain to scan the darkness outside. “He’s out there, watching Crowley’s room“. He walked back to the table and tapped you on the shoulder.

“You know, you’ve really had an effect on him. He’s only usually like this when he’s feeling guilty or when Dean’s not speaking to him”.

Dean grumbled at this remark before agreeing with his brother. “Now you mention it, he has been acting weird. I mean, why did he touch your soul and not tell us about it? He said you passed out, back at the bunker”.

Something inside of you stirred at the mention of this. Why would he lie to his friends about what happened? There was something that he knew, and he wasn’t telling anyone.

You needed to see him. To talk to him. To clear this weirdness between you. Standing up, you told the brothers where you were going. “I’d better go talk to him. I feel bad about what happened earlier”.

You stepped outside of the room, looking in both directions and seeing Castiel perched on the wooden side walk.

Standing in the background quietly, you watched him for a few seconds, taking in his appearance. The way that his shoulders were hunched, his eyes transfixed to the palm of his hand as he consulted his thoughts.

Racking up the courage, you took a deep breath and walked up to him. His face softened as you approached, your presence pulling him from frazzled thoughts.

“Hi. Do you mind if I sit with you?”

He sat upright, switching his gaze from your dark figure, down to the spot beside him, then back up to you. “Not at all, please”.

You sat down and broke the awkward silence with an apology. “I’m sorry about kicking you, back in the car. It’s just a lot to take in, you know. Angels, Demons, Leviathans. I was an Atheist two days ago”.

He looked at you with an expression of relief before counteracting the apology. “It was understandable, seeing as I took you without your consent and invaded your personal space. I profoundly apologize for that”.

“Ah, it’s okay” you replied, taking in the surroundings of the car park. “I forgive you, for abducting me and the whole soul-touching thing". You swivelled round to face him as something important came to mind.

He watched closely as you raised a finger at him. "But if you ever put me to sleep like that again, I'll be forced to kick your ass". Castiel chuckled at your threat but nodded his head in agreement. His melancholic state began to change, the longer you were in his company.

You rubbed your hands together, trying to adjust to the cold breeze as you casually caught his gaze. “So, what are you doing out here?”

He stared off into the distance before glancing down at his clutched hands. “I’m just thinking about Heaven”. Castiel was thinking about how simpler things were, only a decade ago. In Heaven, he was surrounded by his family and was certain of his role.

You looked up at the night sky, thinking about it. “I bet it’s amazing up there. Why would you even leave in the first place?” He gave you the simple answer. “It was my mission to save Dean from the depths of Hell and to help him to fulfil the prophecy of revelations”.

“Yeah, Dean just mentioned that” you said, shifting on the bench. “But you guys stopped it, right? So, why did you stick around and not go back?”

Castiel let out a heavy sigh. How could he explain everything to you? How Lucifer reduced him to a pile of dust, yet somehow, he was still here. The fact that the Angels conspired to bring forth the apocalypse or were fighting for power in Heaven.

“Heaven is not what it used to be” he stated with a hint of warning. “Without our father’s presence upstairs, the Angels split into factions and a civil war ensued. I lost a large number of my brothers and sisters in the Garrison”.

This instantly crushed the thought that Heaven was a peaceful sanctuary, where everything was clouds and rainbows. Now, it was a battlefield for Angels and Castiel was feeling the loss of his family. “I’m sorry to hear that. Family fights are the worst” you said, trying to be sympathetic.

“Yes” he agreed. “But the Winchesters have taught me more about family in the last few years, than the millennia spent in Heaven”. Your eyes widened at the sudden realization of how old he was. Too old to comprehend.

This brought your thoughts back to that awkward moment in the car. How one touch of his feathers had sparked arousal through the both of you. Had Castiel even had any experience of love or relationships?

“What about you?” he asked, gently brushing his shoulder against yours, pulling you from your thoughts. “What’s it like, a day in the life of Y/N?”

Your eyes shifted from his kneecaps over to the cars that rushed past on the interstate, not feeling very eager to talk about yourself. Nothing you could say could even start to compare to the exciting life of a Hunter or an Angel.

“Yeah, there’s not much to tell you really. I’m... a normal Human, I guess. I eat, sleep, work and just live my life, you know?”

His head tilted sideways sympathetically. “I don’t believe that is true. You’re not like any other human I’ve encountered, Y/N. There’s something special about you”. Your shoulders instinctively shrugged with an accompanied scoff. “If there is, then I’m yet to discover it”.

Castiel knew for sure that there was a deeper meaning behind this bond between you. Back at the bunker, when he stuck his fist through your chest and touched your soul, he felt it for sure. It was a pure and Angelic experience for him; the equivalent of 'love at first sight'.

But he was yet to know why. Why it was you. Maybe the answer was stored in the deepest recesses of your memory. But how to access this information? The old Castiel would take it without asking, but things were different now. That would only make things worse.

“Would you permit me to read your mind?”

You inched backwards sceptically as soon as he lifted a hand. The gesture bringing recollection of pain and fear. “I… I’m not sure that’s a good idea”.

The look of hurt was evident on his face, from the fact that you didn’t trust him enough to know that he would never intentionally hurt you. At least not now, knowing what you were to him.

He lowered his head again, filling with a sense of disappointment and regret. “I would never hurt you, Y/N. I do not wish to cause you pain or distress”. You knew he meant these words, deep down. Ever since you crashed into him, back in that elevator, all he’s ever done is to try and keep you close to him. Maybe that’s just his way of keeping you safe.

The guilt started to spread again, for denying him the chance to rummage through your mind, where your secrets, private thoughts and desires were buried.

It was only rational to think like this. If anything, you should be mad at him. For keeping the truth from you, for lying to his friends and for even bring you here in the first place. But a small part of you wanted him to know you, who you really were and what goes on in your mind.

“Okay”.

That one word filled the silence between you, causing his head to shoot upwards. He looked at you cautiously, eyes wide and unblinking. “What?”

Taking a deep breath, you set out your boundaries. “You can read my mind, as long as you stay away from the private stuff in there, you know? That’s not something I really want to share”.

He smiled at you, face illuminated with the hope of knowing you better. “Of course. If you feel me enter somewhere you don’t want me, just imagine a door shutting in front of it”.

You shifted on the bench to face him, sitting upright and letting him know that you were ready. “Okay, I’ll try. Let’s do this”. He lifted his hand up to your face with the softest expression, brushing a few strands of hair from your forehead.

The anticipation was making you nervous, giving him a weak smile and fumbling with your hands. “This is so weird. I can’t believe I’m letting you do this”.

“Just relax” he advised, moving his left hand to cup the side of your face, and that anticipated touch of skin-on-skin was no longer electrifying. Instead, a tranquil wave of energy filled the space inside of your head. Your shoulders dropped at the soothing sensation.

His soft and warm fingers rested gently against your temples as he accessed the stream of neurons in your temporal lobe. The pictures of thousands of memories came rushing to him like a homemade movie. Your first steps, the first time you ate a lemon, your childhood home, your family and that time you almost wet yourself from hysterical laughter.

His lips curved upwards into a smile. “Such happy memories in there… Your thoughts are so… beautiful”. His eyes flickered behind his eyelids as he accessed what you were thinking at this moment:

What am I doing here? With an Angel, who is so fucking hot. Just look at that face, those wings. Stop it. That’s so wrong, Angels and Humans. Wasn’t that shit forbidden by God? It would probably make him angry, or guarantee a one-way ticket to hell… But he chose me, the only human to see his wings. At least I think he likes me. Why else would he bring me here?

The confliction was tearing at you from every direction.

You suddenly remembered that he could see everything that you were thinking as it unfolded. Quickly picturing a door like he’d told you; rounded and made of dark mahogany, you slammed it shut in the forefront of your mind. Castiel watched as this door closed before him, shutting him out of your head.

His immediate reaction was shock to know that you feel the same attraction too, followed by an acceptance of his earlier doubts. These feelings he has for you and this rare connection was wrong, and even you knew it.

His father did decree, many centuries ago, that Angels were no longer allowed to procreate with any daughter of Eve. The risk of a Nephilim being born was too high and would once again, bring the wrath of Heaven.

He wanted you to know the depth of his affection though. As much as his head was telling him to walk away, his heart was urging to reach out and show affection.

Reaching out and gently opening your hand, he placed an object against your palm before closing your fingers around it. Every press of his fingers against yours, warm and welcoming.

Before you could formulate a thought, he scooted forward and stood up, his tall figure blocking the light from the street lamp behind. His shoulders dropped with a sense of sadness as his head tilted in your direction. “Goodnight Y/N”.

Awkwardness held the moment as you wanted to explain to him, why you had thought the way you did. But he was quick to leave you, sat alone on the bench and wondering where it all went wrong.

You opened your hand to inspect the object that he had placed there. It was a red, paper heart. A piece of origami. A symbol of his endearment.

Thanks for reading. Here’s Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

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@uselessace @superheavymetalunicorn @eziggyra

#castiel x reader #soulmate series #spn reader insert

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teamfreewill2pointo · 7 years ago

Text

Dean and Jack’s arc

I’ve seen some people arguing that Dean telling Jack he’s going to be the one to kill him at the end of 13x2 is OOC. I don’t believe it is, so I’m going to address the other instances when Dean has reacted to loss with anger, I’m going to explain why he reacts to loss with anger, and I’ll make some predictions about how I think their relationship will move forward. Basically, I think the situation is more of a repeat of 2.03 than 4.04

Major spoilers for 13x2

First, there are many possible interpretations of this scene. Jack’s actions may not be suicidal, Dean may not have thought of them as suicidal, and “I’m going to be the one to do it” may have been more of a promise than a threat. I love all those interpretations, but for this particular argument, I’m assuming that Dean coded it as suicide and meant it as a threat. My argument is that, even with the most negative view of his actions in that scene, it is in his character to react that way.

As Sam notes in 13x2, Dean’s whole life is built around protecting other people. When he thought that he could no longer save Sam, but would have to kill him, he was suicidal.

5x14

FAMINE: Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?

DEAN: Well, I like to think it’s because of my strength of character.

FAMINE: I disagree. (Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him) Yes. I see. That’s one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can’t fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN: Oh, you’re so full of crap.

FAMINE: Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can’t win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just… keep going through the motions. You’re not hungry, Dean, because inside, you’re already…dead.

Now Dean has lost Castiel, Mary, and Crowley. He thinks Sam’s too close to Jack and is going to get himself killed. Dean, who has built his life around protecting his loved ones, has failed to protect 3 people he cares about (I wouldn’t call Crowley a loved one, but he did care for him) and is completely unable to protect Sam, his last rock.

To understand Dean, I think the most important foundational aspect is to recognize that he never wanted to go into hunting.

1x11

DEAN: Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.

SAM: Are you serious?

DEAN: You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.

He can’t even bring himself to say it because it’s a wish he can’t have. As long as his dad needs him, he’s going to stay with him because Dean is, at his core, a protector. A fixer.

7x1

DEAN: Imma fix this car. Because that’s what I can do. I can work on her ‘til she’s mint. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he’s in, we’ll glue him back together too. We owe him that.

If he can’t protect or fix his loved ones, he gets frustrated and, as Sam notes in 13x2, he turns frustration into anger.

7x2

DEAN (on phone): You cannot be in that crater back there. I can’t… If you’re gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good! Now you said you’d be here. Where are you?

Now I could see some saying that he wasn’t serious when he made this comment, but Dean has a history of directing violence towards people in his vicinity, including loved ones, when he’s upset over loss in the early seasons. In later seasons, he still becomes violent when upset, although it’s less likely to be directed at Sam.

In 1x01, he pushes Sam against a bridge after Sam says “Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom’s gone. And she isn’t coming back.“

In 2.22, he yells at and pushes Bobby for suggesting they put Sam to rest.

In 7x03, he punches Sam hard enough to knock him flat and leave a bruise after Sam leaves in a situation where Dean’s already very keyed up and upset over people being lost.

In 2x03, which is a great parallel to our current situation Dean’s upset over John’s death.

DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, you know. He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you’re always thinking to yourself, he’s indestructible. He’ll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that (snaps) he’s gone. I can’t talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. (clears throat) But, uh, the truth is I’m not handling it very well. Feel like I have this -

GORDON: Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There’s plenty out there needs killing, and this’ll help you do it. Dean, it’s not a crime to need your job.

Dean wants to kill a bunch of vampires that Sam begs him to spare because they haven’t killed people.

DEAN: What part of ‘vampires’ don’t you understand, Sam? If it’s supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That’s our job.

SAM: No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren’t killing people, they’re not evil!

DEAN: Of course they’re killing people, that’s what they do. They’re all the same, Sam. They’re not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them.

As the conversation continues, Dean insists Gordon has the right idea and Sam tells him Ellen warned him about Gordon. It continues:

SAM: You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad’s dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can’t take it, but you can’t just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It’s an insult to his memory.

DEAN: Okay.

He starts to turn away, then punches SAM, hard. SAM pauses, turning back slowly, but not rising to the bait.

SAM: You hit me all you want. It won’t change anything.

DEAN: I’m going to that nest. You don’t want to tell me where it is, fine. I’ll find it myself.

Sam recognizes that Dean isn’t angry at him. Dean’s upset over the loss of their father and taking it out on Sam. Despite being angry enough to punch his brother, Dean ends up helping Sam save the vampires instead of slaughtering them. Gordon tries to remind Dean of their parallels.

GORDON: You’re not like your brother. You’re a killer. Like me.

…

DEAN: You know, I might be like you, and I might not.

So Dean does have a history of being angry after a loss, but why is Dean’s anger so openly directed at Jack?

First, there’s the possibility that Sam’s wrong and Dean’s right. Interestingly enough, one of these times where Dean is right and Sam is wrong around someone’s ability to chose good over evil is another character named Jack. I don’t believe that is just a coincidence.

In 4.04, we encounter a man named Jack who is a rougarou, although he doesn’t know it yet. Dean argues he must be killed. Sam argues that he can be saved. In the end, Sam kills Jack to save them both when Jack goes dark side.

Sam’s obsession with redemption and forgiveness is also one of his flaws and Dean recognizes this. Dean generally has better instincts than Sam, although not always.

Many times, Dean has given his trust only be betrayed, most recently at the hands of the British Men of Letters. Dean’s always been more cautious than Sam when it comes to trust in Supernatural creatures.

Another explanation is that he’s upset Jack opened the rift, which led to deaths of Castiel and (presumably) Mary. While I do think part of it is Dean blaming Jack for their deaths, I think it’s more than just that.

There are huge parallels between Dean’s actions now and seasons 2-5 along with 7. In 2-5, Dean was also given a save or kill option (instruction really). Since it was Sam, Dean refused to even consider the kill option, even when Sam literally begged him to.

2x11

SAM: I need you to watch out for me.

DEAN: Yeah. I always do.

SAM: No! No, no, no. You have to watch out for me, all right? And if I ever … turn into something that I’m not … (beat) you have to kill me.

DEAN: (dismissive) Sam.

SAM: (shoving DEAN to face him) Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to.

DEAN: Yeah, well, Dad’s an ass. (SAM frowns in confusion) He never should have said anything. I mean, you don’t do that, you don’t, you don’t lay that kind of crap on your kids.

SAM: No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!

DEAN: Yeah, well, I’m not dying, okay? And neither are you. [ T_T ] Come on. Sam.

All of that changed in season 4. Dean experienced hell where he was physically and emotionally torn apart. Dean always had more black and white thinking when it came to monsters compared to Sam, but this is understandably turned up after his time in hell, where Dean’s experiences gave him PTSD.

On a personal level, my husband is a lot like Dean in that he used to be a combat medic because, to quote Harry Potter, he has a “saving people thing”. He went to Afghanistan and came back with much more anger than he ever had before, in part because of all the people he couldn’t save. One of the reasons I married him was because he never got angry before he left for combat. He’s out of the military now, and is doing much better now that we are in a civilian life. I’ve seen first hand how war and violence can corrupt a person who is inherently good.

In 4, Dean returned to a Sam that Dean could no longer trust not to go dark side. Personally, I’ve always wondered how much of this in due to Dean himself going dark side in hell. I suspect that some part of him thinks that anyone can be turned - it’s just a matter of time. And really, I think he’s right. They have to keep Jack safe from the angels and the demons. Jack is easily manipulated and led. Even if Sam and Dean do everything right, Jack could accidentally go big bad.

When Sam let Lucifer out of the cage, Dean fully lost his ability to believe in Sam.

5x1

DEAN: And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man…you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can’t even…

DEAN pauses, struggling for words.

DEAN: I’m just—I’m having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?

SAM: What can I do?

DEAN: Honestly? Nothing.

SAM nods a little, looking down: this doesn’t surprise him.

DEAN: I just don’t…I don’t think that we can ever be what we were. You know?

SAM nods again: this isn’t a surprise either.

DEAN: I just don’t think I can trust you.

SAM looks up: this he wasn’t expecting. DEAN shakes his head and walks away, pausing at the trunk of the Impala to look back, then gets into the driver’s seat.

When Dean no longer believed in Sam, he no longer believed in the power of love to save Sam, which he used to believe in seasons 2 & 3, when he still thought he could save Sam. We can see this clearly in season 5, when Dean decides to go say yes to Michael and explains why to Sam.

SAM: Well, do you think maybe you could take a half a second and stop trying to sacrifice yourself for a change? Maybe we could actually stick together?

DEAN: I don’t think so.

SAM: Why not? Dean, seriously. Tell me. I—I want to know.

DEAN: I just…I—I don’t believe.

SAM: In what?

DEAN: In you. I mean, I don’t. I don’t know whether it’s gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they’re gonna find a way to turn you.

SAM: So you’re saying I’m not strong enough.

DEAN: You’re angry, you’re self-righteous. Lucifer’s gonna wear you to the prom, man. It’s just a matter of time.

SAM: Don’t say that to me. Not you…of all people.

DEAN: I don’t want to. But it’s the truth. And when Satan takes you over, there’s got to be somebody there to fight him, and it ain’t gonna be that kid. So, it’s got to be me.

In the end, Dean was wrong. Sam didn’t need someone to fight him - he needed someone to love him. It was love that saved the world. And what will it be this time? Does Jack need someone to fight him? Is he evil?

I suspect that Dean’s right and Jack will go dark side. I think that it’s likely Jack will kill someone the Winchesters care about. I suspect that Sam’s right and that love will bring him back on a redemption because that’s the ultimate theme of Supernatural. (And they enjoy handing out redemption arcs like candy.)

It was Sam’s faith in and love for Dean that stopped Dean from saying yes to Michael.

It was Dean’s faith in and love for Sam that allowed Sam to take control of Lucifer.

It was Sam’s faith in and love for Castiel that brought him back from the dark side and put him on a redemption path.

It was Dean’s faith in and love for Castiel that overcame his brainwashing.

It was Sam’s faith in and love for Dean that stopped him from killing Sam under the influence of the Mark of Cain.

It was Sam’s faith in and love for his friends and family that gave him strength to say no to Lucifer a second time.

It was Chuck’s love that stopped Amara from destroying the world.

It was Dean’s faith in and love for his mom that brought her back from brainwashing.

So why isn’t Dean giving the Power of Love a greater chance? The obvious answer is partly what I mentioned above: Jack can be manipulated and they’ve been burned before. Sam trusted Ruby and started the apocalypse. Dean trusted Gadreel, which resulted in the death of Kevin. They trusted the BMoL and were nearly killed by them.

I think it’s about more than that though. Dean’s never believed in himself as worthy of being saved, of having the possibly of being saved, so it’s hard for him to believe that others can be saved.

See Dean in 4x1 versus Sam in 2x13 on the subject of angels:

4x1

DEAN: I mean what are you?

CASTIEL: I’m an Angel of the Lord.

DEAN: Get the hell out of here. There’s no such thing.

…

DEAN: Well, I’m not buying what you’re selling, so who are you really?

CASTIEL: (frowning) I told you.

DEAN: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?

CASTIEL: Good things do happen, Dean.

DEAN: Not in my experience.

CASTIEL: What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved?

2x13

SAM: I don’t know, Dean, I just, uh … (he sits on the bed) I wanted to believe … so badly, ah … It’s so damn hard to do this, what we do. You’re all alone, you know? And … there’s so much evil out there in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up…

DEAN: (sitting on the bed beside him) Yeah, well, don’t worry about that. All right? I’m watching out for you.

SAM: Yeah, I know you are. But you’re just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe …

DEAN: Maybe what?

SAM: (with tears in his eyes) Maybe I could be saved.

Just like Dean’s love for Sam allowed Sam to defeat the archangels and save the world, Dean was saved from his suicide mission by Sam’s belief in him.

In 5.18, Sam says that he could tell Dean wanted to say yes and asks why he didn’t.

DEAN: Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world’s ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, “this stupid son of a bitch brought me here.” I just didn’t want to let you down.

SAM: You didn’t. You almost did. But you didn’t.

DEAN: I owe you an apology.

SAM: No, man. No, you don’t.

DEAN: Just…let me say this. I don’t know if it’s being a big brother or what, but to me, you’ve always been this snot-nosed kid that I’ve had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that’s not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you’re grown-up enough to find faith in me…the least I can do is return the favor.

It was Sam’s faith and love for Dean that pulled him back from that edge. In episodes 1 and 2 of season 13, Dean’s just a guy doing a job who’s lost almost everything and thinks he’s about to lose everything when Jack goes dark and kills Sam. Sam’s faith and love in Dean is no longer enough to pull Dean back from the edge because Dean thinks Sam’s faith and love is blinding him to reality of Jack (and I do think he’s right).

I predict that Castiel’s return will give Dean that space to have faith and hope again. From the very first moment that they met, Castiel recognized what Dean was lacking:

4x1

CASTIEL: This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.

It was Castiel’s betrayal and death in season 7 that sent Dean on a spiral dark enough to contemplate murdering Sam. With Castiel’s return mid season, Dean was able to have faith again.

Ultimately, although things may seem to go the way of 4.04, I’ll expect Dean’s journey with Jack will end up the same way he did in 2.03:

DEAN: I wish we never took this job. It’s jacked everything up.

SAM: What do you mean?

DEAN: Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM: Okay.

DEAN: What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us…

SAM: Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN: I know he did. But the man wasn’t perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn’t even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM: You didn’t kill Lenore.

DEAN: No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM: Yeah, Dean, but you didn’t. And that’s what matters.

@chiisana-sukima

#dean winchester #Dean&Jack #jackedtfw #my meta #dean analysis #dean w #dean winchester meta #supernatural meta #spn meta #jack kline #supernatural #spn 13x02 #spoilers #spoilers supernatural #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #season 13 spoilers #mystuff

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rocky-alex · 7 years ago

Text

A Hunter’s Life For Me

Word count: 2507

Warnings: Traumatised character, slight paranoia

Pairings: OFC(Jules) x Dean, Reader x Sam

A Hunter’s Life Masterlist

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Chapter 7: Don’t you say, don’t you say it

Jules POV

A whole fucking week in that motel room, and I was going crazy. I barely had the guts to leave, even to get food and something new to wear. Stepping outside the door, over the salt line, I felt so exposed, like everyone was watching me, even people I couldn’t see. I couldn’t sleep, instead I stayed up pacing the room, lying restless on the bed or looking out the window. Figuring out what to do next was easier said than done when all kinds of questions were floating around in my head.

What had Crowley meant when he said he’d thought I’d get out of there faster? Why had the demons kidnapped me? What did they want? Did it have something to do with what I’d ended up doing to Crowley? And why hadn’t Sam and Dean found me?

I was pacing the room, again, pulling at my hair, ignoring the food I’d bought and put on the table five hours ago, when there was a knock on the door. It scared me so badly I screamed and tripped myself on the carpet. I lay still on the floor, waiting for the door to burst open and demons come rushing in. Nothing happened. I sat up, keeping my eyes on the door, and the window next to it. Another knock. I stood up and slowly walked across the room. My hand rested on the doorknob, the other holding the safety chain like a lifeline. Deciding that if who- or whatever was on the other side really wanted to get in, they would have by now. I unlatched the chain and turned the knob. And got a huge surprise.

“We need to talk.”

Reader POV

This was some bullshit. You had barely managed to get the Winchesters to leave you alone when Crowley showed up in your room with a new “mission”. He was so full of it. You’d had no idea that it actually was him who’d had Jules abducted. And now he’d lost her, because of course he had, and needed you to find her. Your one consolation in all this was that that was all he’d asked you to do, nothing else.

“I don’t see what this girl has to do with me, Crowley.”

“Darling, I thought we’d been over this. It’s not your place to ask questions.” He was right. You hated to admit it, but he was.

It wasn’t as hard as Crowley made it out to be. In fact, it was so easy to find Jules you started to wonder what the fuck Crowley was actually up to. He seriously couldn’t find her only two hours away from the house he’d held her at? More to the point, why hadn’t she left yet? Why was she still here?

You walked up to the door, seeing the lights were off in the room. Before knocking you stopped and listened. You could hear her in there, she was pacing, mumbling to herself. Fucking hell, she must be in a panic, demons after her, not knowing who to trust.

Knowing that you were only prolonging the inevitable, you raised your hand and knocked. From inside the room you heard a scream and a thump. You waited a beat before knocking again. This wasn’t the time to be sensitive. Even though Crowley hadn’t given you specific instructions you were sure he wasn’t going to be pleased if you half assed this, and you’d been wracking your brain the whole drive here to find a way around the rules without breaking them. Jules couldn’t fall back into Crowley’s hands, but she couldn’t go back to the brothers either.

The door opened and you were faced with a girl who locked severely freaked out.

“We need to talk.” Her eyes flicked around.

“How do I know you’re you?” So she wasn’t completely incompetent. You pulled out a flask of holy water and a shotgun shell filled with rock salt.

“Know what salt and holy water do to a demon?” She nodded. Here goes. You opened the shell and poured it’s contents into the flask. Then you took a deep breath before raising it to your mouth. Fucking hell, that’s nasty! You looked at Jules.

“See? No burns, no screams, no smoke. All human.” She looked relieved but didn’t open the door to let you inside.

“Why are you here? Where’s Dean? And Sam?”

“Like I said, we need to talk, and while I may not be a demon I can’t say the same for anyone else. Will you please let me in?” She looked around, panic back in her eyes. Then she gestured for you to hurry and slammed the door as soon as you’d stepped over the threshold. You heard the lock click and the chain slide into place.

“Wow,” you said, looking around the room. Devil’s traps and sigils lined the walls and floor, and salt lines ran all along the walls, windows and doors. “Where’d you learn all this?” You turned back to look at her, only to find her sitting on the floor, hands in her hair and shaking.

“Hey,” you murmured in a soft voice, squatting down infront of her. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and how this must be, but I need you to get it together, okay?” She looked up at you.

“I don’t know what’s happened, or why. And the only two people I have to rely on haven’t come for me. I don’t even know their phone numbers. So please don’t talk to me about keeping it together.”

“Listen, Sam and Dean have tried their damn best to find you. They even came to me, asking if I knew anything. At the time I didn’t. I only found out where you were an hour ago. I don’t even know why the demons want you. But…” you bit your lip, hating that you had to say this part. You had no guarantee that you’d be able to keep your word. “I’m here to help you.”

Jules POV

I didn’t know whether to believe Y/N or not. I didn’t know her, although Sam and Dean seemed to trust her, at least they used to. What help could she offer?

“How?”

“First things first.” She held her hands out and pulled me to my feet. She guided me to a chair and we sat down at the table.

“The most important thing you need to know is that if you stay here, the demons will find you, no question. As I said, I don’t know why they want you, but I can promise it’s nothing good. But because they want you, you have to stay away from the Winches-”

“No! No fucking way!” I flew up from my seat and started pacing again. Y/N stood up as well, like she was prepared to take me down if I didn’t listen to her.

“You don’t get it, Jules, if they find you, they find them. And I can’t let that happen. If you care about them you’ll understand.” I stared at her, feeling my eyes bugging out.

“That’s rich! Dean told me what you did, and I have to say, that was some stinking horse shit. They loved you, and you just up and left them behind, never looking back. And then you had the nerve to show up at the bunker? Hah!” A flash of movement and she was standing right infront of me, seeming to tower over me, looking pissed as hell.

“You don’t know half the reason I left. You don’t know why I did what I did. And you certainly don’t know what leaving them did to me. So don’t go acting all high and mighty, pretending to know them, or me for that matter.” I stood stock still, the chill in her voice freezing me on the spot. It took a few moments before I had the nerve to speak again.

“I trusted them to find me… I thought I knew that they’d fight tooth and nail, and succeed. But they didn’t, and I had to get myself out.”

“I know.” Her voice was softer now, but she didn’t back down. “And now I need you to know why you have to stay away from them.” Tears were forming in my eyes.

“So I have to go at this alone?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“You said you’d hep me.” “I can only do so much, Jules.” A moment of silence.

“Can I at least call Dean?”

Dean POV

“Jules?” His voice barely held up after hearing her voice.

“Yeah, it’s me…”

“Where are you?” He tried his best to keep the panic and anger at bay. If she’d been hurt-

“I can’t tell you.” Her voice was soft, shaky, like she was crying. Dean’s hand was trembling, resisting the urge to hit something, and he wanted to scream at her and demand to know where she was so he could come get her. But he didn’t.

“Why?”

“Because of you Dean. What happened to me… It would happen to you too. So I need to be alone.”

“Jules…” She was kidding herself if she thought he wouldn’t find her. “What did they do?” His voice was strained, trying to keep his emotions in check. He heard a sob on the other line, faint, as if she was holding the phone away from her head, hoping he wouldn’t hear.

“I have to go, Dean.”

“No, Jules-” The line went dead.

Jules POV

I let the phone fall to the floor, my mind a haze. Somewhere in the back of my senses I felt Y/N move beside me to pick it up. Then hands were moving me through the room, sitting me down on the bed. Her face appeared infront of me, catching my attention.

“Jules? I need you to focus.” I shook my head to clear it, and nodded to show she had my attention.

“Good. So here’s the deal. I need to leave soon, but there are a few things I need you to do.” Another nod.

“First, I need you to leave this town. You already know about protection against demons, use it. Don’t stay in one town for more than a couple of days, and always use cash.” She stuffed a wrinkled piece of paper in my hand. “Learn this by heart. It’s an exorcism, should you need to use it. On the other side is a drawing of a pentagram. I want you to get it tattooed somewhere on your body, it’ll prevent possession.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small gun. “Last thing,” she said, putting it on the bed next to me. “Learn to use this.” She turned and walked to the door, and after a moment I stood up to follow.

“That’s it? You’re just leaving?” Y/N shrugged on her jacket and opened the door. Before stepping outside she turned back.

“I don’t think this will be the last time we ever meet, Jules. But I have to ask you to keep this to yourself.” The door closed.

As it turned out, the only perk to Y/N’s visit was my phone call. Nothing else seemed to be working out for me. Wherever I went there seemed to be demons on my heels. I’d gotten the tattoo as soon as possible, and so far it seemed to be working, as no one had tried to smoke their way down my throat yet. But the demons were still there, lurking around every fucking corner.

I’d also become a thief, stealing cars left and right, but never keeping them for long. I must have slept in nine different beds the past two weeks. I never left my motel room during the night, and barely walked outside even during the day. Was this my life now? Was this what I had to look forward to? Living in isolation and on the run? Some life that would be.

I couldn’t help but think that some serious paranoia was setting in. I saw eyes watching me all the time. I didn’t trust the motel managers, or the clerks at the gas-n-sips. I wore discreet clothes and tried my best to hide in plain sight. It was driving me crazy. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Sam and Dean, and find out why this was all happening. I felt so fucking cut off from the world and there was nothing to distract me, even for a moment, to let me forget the situation I was in.

Y/N hadn’t shown up again. I didn’t know whether to be grateful or suspicious or panicking about that fact. True, she couldn’t very well babysit me, and I’d decided to believe her when she said she didn’t know why the demons were after me. But the solitude had given me more than enough time to think how weird it was that she’d found me so fast after I escaped, when Dean and Sam hadn’t. It was all eating me up, and I couldn’t see the world in a straight perspective anymore.

I was walking from the nearest grocery store, back to the motel, when I felt it. I was being followed. Nowadays all my senses were dialled up to eleven, and it didn’t escape my notice that the same sound of feet hitting the ground had been behind me for a solid ten minutes now. All the way from the store. I sped up slightly, and the steps behind me kept up. My heart was pounding so hard my head started to hurt. I could do this. One more turn and it was only a short sprint back to the motel and the safety of my protection. I rounded the corner and took off, dropping the bags of food on the sidewalk, hoping to slow down whoever was following me. Not looking back even for a moment I strained my muscles as much as possible and ran as fast as I could. I got to my room and slammed the door behind me, barricading it with whatever I could find, checking all the salt lines and traps before collapsing in a heap on the floor. When the pounding on the door started I wrapped my arms around my head and squeezed, trying to tune out the sound that could mean my death.

The crash of the door breaking open had me jump up and back as far into the room as I could. Someone had gotten inside. What the hell? What demon could cross a salt line? And not get stuck in the traps? I saw a shape moving behind the glass divider between the bed and the door and pressed my back against the wall, trying to become as small as possible. In the pocket of my jacket I felt the gun digging into my hip and immediately grabbed it. When the person came around the corner I raised it to fire. Only to drop it just as fast.

“Dean?!”

@carryonmyswansong

Note: I couldn’t sleep, this chapter kept nagging at me so I had to write it :P

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural reader insert #supernatural oc #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester x oc #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x y/n #original female character #a hunter's life for me #motels won't cut it anymore

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