#6hoursgirl

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files' Collector's Edition: Fight the Future Fics (Part I)

No introduction necessary, I think.

Loose chronological order below~!

astronaught's Equilibrium - Entr'acte

""He doesn’t like having an aversion to smallness because it means he might reject a truth for being insufficiently grand. Tall tales curdle in Kurtzweil’s mouth, and for the eighty-seventh time that year he feels dirtied by their hold on him....

If their work was going to be destroyed by anything, he didn’t think it would be because she lost her nerve. He and she share a tendency to hold their noses when it comes to dealing with the spiritually mundane, but they don’t do so childishly....

But all the same. Their intellectual honesty has always been its own kind of snobbery. It isn’t really smallness (nor practicality, nor effort) that he’s averse to, but rather inefficiency of a very specific kind. His duty is to the necessary. To the fundamentally true....

And he thought she was the same.""

Mulder and Scully spin their wheels, confused and hurt by each other's lines they draw about the work.

red2007's Icarus

""One breath. Two breaths. Chest compressions.

Molten lava was licking through his veins. Every movement he made, every memory he conjured was a four alarm fire coursing through his body. He’d been pulled closer to her everyday since they’d first met, no one else heard him or bothered to listen. No one could see him the way she did, she made him feel relevant. Her trust in him made him feel invincible. He didn’t remember what life was like before her, he didn’t care to.

He was terrified of a life without her and it was burning him up from the inside out. This partnership turned friendship turned codependency turned love…he didn’t know how to survive without it.""

Mulder's body is on fire with adrenaline as he pushes its limits to save his partner.

@leiascully's (Ao3)

OctoberFicFest Day 6: Frost (Ao3)

""He’s too desperate to revive her to think of how empty, how shattered his heart will be if she doesn’t wake up."" 

Mulder ruminates on twisted fairytales while saving his frosted partner.

To The Ends Of The Earth (Ao3)

""He’s still shivering, even in his suit in the sun in the summer. He’s seen her shivering too. They’ve both been drinking more coffee since Antarctica. He’s been watching her lace her fingers around her mugs, just letting the warmth seep into her. He hopes his hand is as soothing to her as the terrible coffee in the bullpen.

“If I quit now, they win,” she said. He turns it over and over in his mind as they walk. He doesn’t know where they’re going. He doesn’t care. They’re together. They survived. They have their work. That’s all that matters to him anymore, Scully and the work.""

Post FTF Mulder and Scully leisure around DC, he enjoying and she surprising.

@scapegrace74-blog/scapegrace74's Walking After You

""It was foreordained that Mulder be beside her.  Where fear and the improbable intersected in her life, there was her partner, vigilant defender against all her katabases.  She no longer questioned his presence there.  He simply was.

...Her beautiful Don Quixote, caring only for the quest, and not its consequences.""

Scully pulls Mulder to her on the ice, contemplating her childhood dreams and her partner's revitalized wonder.

@all-these-ghosts's (Ao3

if i am hopeful - Chapter 6

""After everything, all of the strife and regret, she will die here. In this great whiteness. They say that freezing to death is an easy way to go, but she is a doctor and a realist and nothing, nothing has ever been easy for them.

He has already stopped shivering."" 

Scully is convinced she and Mulder will freeze to death, noting his deterioration but grateful to perish with him.

unfinished business

""This is Scully, he reminds himself. Scully who follows him on every insane adventure, who pulls him back from the edge, who not even a year ago was dying in a hospital bed while he raged, unable to contend with his absolute powerlessness.

And now, here in his living room: he is not powerless.""

AU-- Scully is overthinking her rescue, questioning why Mulder went to the ends of the earth for her. He finally demonstrates why.

@scully/humancredentials’s

a series of tumblr prompts - Chapter 8 (Ao3)

""Her eyes sting, her tears freezing on her face as soon as they fall. She feels the ache in her bones and her lungs burn with every inhale of cold air. She presses her cracked lips to his forehead and tastes blood. His, she thinks, but she’s not sure....

“Mulder,” she murmurs, her voice hoarse and underused. He doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, this foolish hero of hers that followed her to the ends of the earth. He has given her his warmest clothes.""

Scully begs her partner to stay awake, thrilled and relieved when he cracks a joke.

@frangipanidownunder’s (Ao3) 

I Love You Prompts: Tiny Fics - Chapter 2

""Thank you,” she says and her voice is cracked like the ice.

He doesn’t know what to say. She would have done the same for him. Had done the same. Their rescues of each other are becoming more epic by the year. He chuffs out a laugh at the thought but it gets stuck in the frozen air.""

Mulder drags Scully to the Snocat, letting Scully off the hook for not remembering the hallway completely. They always save each other, after all.

Cold, happy, tired.

""She can recall his expression though. Standing before her in that chamber, willing her to breathe. His lips parted, his eyes wide with a mix of terror and happiness. Wet hair flopping over his face. He had saved her and himself - the relieved note in his voice told her that. In that moment, a tiny speck of time between them, she knew she loved him. Irrefutably. The thought flashed through her mind, a bolt of reality. It warmed her chest, spurred her on.""

AU-- Scully sees the spaceship; and, mind blown, helps drag her weary partner to safety, welcoming his tiny little move.

@sixhours/6hoursgirl's (FFN) Waking Hours - Chapter 1 (FFN)

""Mulder,” she tries again, jaw aching with the effort. “Wake up.”

He does, then, ice crystal lashes blinking open to reveal muddy hazel eyes. His lips form her name, a soundless whisper cast into the storm, received by mutual telepathy.""

Scully wakes Mulder up in the icefield, pulling him away from looking for the spaceship he claimed to have seen for more practical pursuits.

@scullydubois/scully_dubois's txf prompts - Chapter 2

""He is numb to everything except a weight and warmth near--one that could not possibly have originated from him, for he has known nothing except ragging breath and stillness for...well, he doesn’t know how long. There are no sunrises or sunsets here to mark the time.

He remembers, then, why he is here. That he’s not alone. That he came here to rescue the one person that’s ever believed him when he needed it, and that he did, and so she must be here, she must be that weight against his side.""

Mulder wakes to Scully, filling her while on the ice and leaving it open-ended on how to go forward.

@contrivedcoincidences6/Spooky66/geektime66’s

Never Let You Go

""For as long as I live I’ll never be able to get the image of her in that capsule out of my head. It will haunt me till the day I die.""

Mulder drags Scully back to the Snocat, both vowing to never let the other go.

Helpless

""I’m too late.

As I helplessly pump at her chest I begin to feel the sobs. My chest and my throat feel like they are being ripped open with the force of them.

She’s gone. Scully is dead and there is no point in living.""

Mulder has a nightmare; and he makes a move on Scully while she attempts to comfort him.

@i-gaze-at-scully’s (Ao3)

Tundra

""I saw it,” you whispered, holding me, as the loose wet hair around your face froze in strands.

Belief as soft and fresh as the snow we laid in insulated us from the cold.""

Mulder and Scully lay on the tundra, warmed by their belief.

Pad Thai and poison apples

""They get out together though, naturally, at the basement level. Scully wants to be smug, wants to rub it in Diana’s face that this is her office, her work, her.... she wants to, but she can’t. Not without a nameplate on the door. Or even a desk.""

Post FTF Diana goads Scully about not getting a lunch invite from Mulder. And even though he'd forgotten about Fowley, it doesn't soothe the sting.

ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa)  and LaVa, Jacquie and Tess

Fight the Good Fight

""His cot was less than ten feet from hers but it might as well have been ten miles. She was exhausted by the time she reached his side. Collapsing onto the floor beside him, she called to him.

"Mulder. It's me."

Fear sent her heart bumping against her breastbone when he didn't stir.""

Scully is worried for her partner, both physically and mentally: it's obvious that he's losing his drive for a quest that always hurts her.

@allyinthekeyofx’s (Ao3)

Small Considerations Between Partners - 6 (Ao3)

""Because mostly what I remember is the fear; the absolute all encompassing terror I felt when I tried to swallow and discovered my throat was blocked by a tube, gagging as I tried to scream, to shout, to have someone please come to get it out of me. This invader of my prone body that stole my breath and rendered me almost hysterical as I fought with everything I had to lift my hands in an attempt to rid myself of it; the restraints that prevented me from doing so biting cruelly in to the soft flesh of my wrists even as I arched myself from the bed, the high pitched sound of alarms piercing my already aching head as I silently screamed for him to help me, needing him to find me, to save me just this one last time as scalding tears streamed down my face only to become instantly chilled against my skin.""

Scully is traumatized while recovering from her experience; but Mulder is there (as always) to comfort and reassure.

@danascullysrationalism/ARoadInCapeCod's Whatever's Left

""For too long, she had been his ripcord.... She would always bring him up and out. Alive.... It had saved him too many times when he wandered too far in the ticks of light that led him astray. She was the storm that let him live. He always knew there was something righteous inside her.

This was all he could do to thank her.""

Scully is lost in her recovery, knowing she can't follow Mulder forever; and Mulder is lost watching her recover, knowing he can't give her more.

chezamanda's The Five Times Fox Mulder Didn’t Tell Dana Scully He Loved Her (and the One Time He Did)

""Now here they are, still together even though it feels like the world is constantly trying to keep them apart. If I quit now, they win.

FTF (amongst other seasons) Mulder ruminates thrice on his awe of and love for Scully.

Singing_Violin's This I Can Do

""We are so cold. But she is alive. I am thankful for that."" 

The one thing that Fox Mulder can do is hold Dana Scully.

@broadcastnews1987/audries/@kennedyandheidi/inkspl0tchess's (WBM 1/2/3)

string theory (or seven times dana scully wore fox mulder's clothes)

""be careful,” she thinks she says as the medics move them into the helicopter. the voice in her head is cool, detached, precise. hypothermia demands gentle treatment, it says. he needs me, she tries to tell them, he told me so. she doesn’t know why they won’t let her hold his hand.

two days later and he is slouching in her doorway wearing sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. he tilts his head to wait for permission and she uncurls her fingers to open her palm like a flower.""

Scully's hypothermia hinders her responses but not her resolve-- to care for and stay with her partner.

DanaScully77's Delirium

""Dearie, you really shouldn’t be speaking.” The nurse is kind with a calming hand on his chest. “Do you remember what happened?”

Mulder shakes his head no. His eyes are pleading with the nurse, confusion too thick in his brain to make sense of anything around him. All that keeps ringing in his mind is that Scully is hurt and that he needs to get to her.

“You both were found in Antarctica by a team of scientists exploring disturbances in the ice. Do you remember how you got there?”

Flashes of alien testing tubes fill his mind and his jaw opens. “Scully."" 

The Unnatural Mulder remembers comforting Scully during the events of FTF. Now, they enjoy hot cocoa at his apartment, happy.

@frogsmulder/Brynstein's Chapter 1: Post Fight the Future

""Mulder, it's me."

He couldn't help but let a laugh go down the line. "Never have I heard sweeter words, Scully."

"Mulder?" The was a pause of quiet, no doubt filled by the rise of a singular eyebrow. "Have you just taken your meds?""

Post FTF Mulder wanders around, bored, before calling Scully to re-patch his wound.

@mashnotesofthemythopoeic/Penumbra/The_Mythopoeic - Works/Penumbra's X-Files Fiction (Alt., Zuffy's Tripod)

The Cretan Paradox

""No minotaur," she says, as they gain the center.

"Looking for trouble, Scully?" he asks, with some intent. His soft mouth quirks.

Labyrinths, Mulder explains, are convoluted journeys fraught with dead ends and blind passages, and are solved by intuition and creativity. "But a maze is a left-brained puzzle." He looks down at her, eyes narrow and warm in the afternoon light. Not unlike you, his eyes say.""

Post FTF Mulder takes Scully to a maze, showing her how to always escape it and leading up to his tentative movie night invite.

AUs

@oceanofthesky/noifsandsorbees’s White Noise (Ao3)

""She smiles and she laughs. A lot.” Mulder says suddenly, and his eyes are faraway, lit up and peaceful. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about, Mulder?”

“Scully. The rare moments when she lets herself be happy. It’s really something.""

Mulder and Scully may resolve things between them in the hallway, but she's still reassigned. Many phone calls, doubts, and insecurities plague their long-term relationship, deeply rooted by the time they're reunited.

@starwalker42 (Ao3

can't stay awake

""Underneath our cocoon of blankets, trembling fingers wrap around mine. I barely feel the contact, but I’m glad for it all the same. It’s not lost on me that not an hour ago, she was frozen in ice on the brink of death, and now she’s the one comforting me. She’s too good at this – looking after me when she’s the one in pain. I know I don’t deserve Dana Scully. I certainly don’t deserve to die next to her. But I’m glad that if I have to go, I get to go like this.""  

Mulder keeps a slurring Scully awake by bantering about penguins; but the two of them soon slow on the ice, dropping a love you before they succumb to sleep.

@o6666666's (Ao3) Prompts 1, 2, and 83

""He came with a big bottle of aloe, planning to paint her cheeks with it. How funny that his conscientious Scully should get sunburned in the dog days of August from lying out on the ice. (It wasn’t funny.)

They’d brought her all the way to Antarctica in her skirt suit. He pictured the henchmen in their parkas and gloves and boots, none of them caring how she shivered.""

Mulder's guilt over his ice-burned, clingy Scully almost destroys the potential between them. She sees past his reticence and reassures.

2plumsandagherkin's Like You Wanted to

""Do you remember anything that happened… in the hallway?” he asked, tentatively.

“No, what happened in the hallway?”

He explained about her getting stung by the bee and the ambulance crew taking her and trying to shoot him, but she had the feeling he was leaving something out."" 

Scully doesn't recall the hallway incident until later, rushing over to Mulder's and affirming her love.

@frostbitepandaaaaa/FrostbitePanda’s Four Days AU

""If she had just followed her parents’ wishes... she would be laying in a king bed right now. Safe in some boring suburb with a dog and perhaps even some handsome husband watching reruns of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and idly wondering what it would feel like to be a pioneer, a woman planted on the edge of the unknown, spread before her vast and endless and hers for the taking. 

That’s what Mulder gave her— a borderless realm, a fertile landscape lain with both the dreadful and the sublime.

“I’ve always felt… that it should interest me. That… in order to be a real person in the world, I needed to want those things.” She shakes her head, tilted back on the seat, staring at the riveted ceiling, beaded with condensation. 

A great breath shifts out of him, but he says nothing. 

“But the only thing that has ever made me feel like a real person, Mulder, is you."" 

While trapped in the Snocat for four days, Mulder and Scully reopen their hallway discussion and plan for a first date that is not over file cabbage packaged meals. Diana tries to throw a wrench in that; but Skinner is not going to sit idly by at the FBi shindig.

Ann Ripley's Any Resemblance

""The chip was reinserted and her health steadily improved. I know this because I was able to watch the process through a two-way mirror.... They cured her but also filtered out all her memory of our work, our partnership, our love.

Anna's recovery and future safety was the price I paid for my silence. Any subsequent investigation into the consortium or revelation of colonization plans would result in the cancer's return. It was not too high a price to pay. I would do it again in a second.

The show debuted a year after Mrs. Spriggs wheeled Anna out of the consortium-run hospital and started a new life.""

FTF was based on the life of two real people; but the fact was separated from fiction after the unhappy reality. The man who Mulder was based on watches the show, ruminating on all that never and really was.

Enjoy!

[pookie-mulder]

June 2024 fic roundup

Here are my favorite June reads:

👶📝 Of Our Own Making by @television-overload

I totally forgot to put this on last month’s list! I absolutely loved reading each new chapter every morning at work. I can’t not read a marriage of convenience fic, especially when there’s a baby involved.

💌🦃 Small Lives Awake by Jesemie’s Evil Twin

You know when you read something so sweet, so pure, that you feel like it breaks your heart in the best way? That’s this fic. It’s incredibly fluffy without being cheesy, and the writing style is so elegant.

🏝️👨‍👩‍👦 The Eden Series by Jacque LaVa

Was this the best fic I’ve ever read? No. Was everyone OOC? Definitely. Did I still enjoy it? You bet. I cannot resist the siren call of a survival fic, an amnesia fic, or a kidfic, and this had all three.

👰‍♀️🤵‍♂️ The Marriage Spectacular by @cecilysass

I’ve never met a cecilysass fic I didn’t like, and this was no exception. Fake relationship my beloved! Only one bed my beloved! Mulder and Scully being idiots in love my beloved! Absolutely delightful. 10/10, no notes.

🌀☔️ Hurricane Season by beduini & rah

This fic perfectly captures M&S’s “we’re completely and utterly devoted to each other and literal soulmates yet we still doubt our place in each other’s lives and we never actually talk about it” dynamic that we know and love. It takes place when William is a few months old and they’re still trying to define their relationship. I loved it SO MUCH!

(hmu for an epub — the chapters are long, which makes it easy to lose your place if you don’t finish the chapter in one sitting)

❄️✈️ WHITEOUT by EvanBlack

A classic “Mulder and Scully get in a plane crash and have to survive until help arrives” story. (You all know by now how much I love a survival fic!)

I absolutely adored the dynamic between them in this one. They’re down SO bad for each other, and it shows. I especially loved the beginning when they’re both wishing they were sitting next to each other so they could hold hands. That’s the good stuff right there!

🛁🧪 Antidote by Rachel Howard and Karen Rasch

Mulder and Scully investigate an unknown contagion in a remote town. You can probably guess what happens from there.

This was the perfect road trip read! Engaging and exciting without being too plot-heavy.

🤰👶 40 Weeks by @malibusunset-xf-blog

What if the IVF worked?

The most delectable pregnancy fluff with a dash of smut and a healthy serving of Mulder and Scully figuring out their relationship.

🪶🐎 Omens by @lepusarticus

I cannot say enough good things about this fic. It’s definitely a new addition to the Holy Grail list.

It’s a casefic, but it doesn’t feel like a casefic…more like an exploration of magic and family and love. With its spooky small-town gothic vibe and emphasis on powerful women and strange houses and ancient magic, it reminds me a lot of my favorite book series, The Raven Cycle. (If you liked this fic, you should go read TRC!)

This fic has layers and nuance and themes and motifs and gorgeous metaphors and one incredibly hot scene that ticked all my boxes. Even the OCs are rich and compelling. I would read a whole series set in this universe!

💥🚗 Goshen by Bonetree

Emily angst plus survival plus tending to each other’s injuries plus hurt/comfort? Yes please! I love it when I find a fic that seems to be created in a lab just for me.

(After reading the summaries of the following installments, I’m not quite sure if they’re really my thing. Has anyone read the rest of the series? Did you like it?)

👦🏻🦊 A Boy and His Fox by 6hoursgirl

Mulder and Scully “platonically” coparent their son. Mulder learns what it means to be a dad. Pure, unadulterated fluff! If you like kidfics, this one is a must-read.

📚👩‍⚕️ Heuvelmans’ On the Track by The_Mythopeodic

This fic is a fandom classic, and I can definitely see why. The author uses language in unexpected and interesting ways, which is not something you see very often in fic.

I tend to go for “popcorn” fics that are addictive and easy to binge. This one is more like a hearty slab of meat. Both types are good in their own way, but this fic made me work for it.

Anyway, I got a bit frustrated with myself around the halfway mark and kept having to reread passages a few times to truly understand what’s going on. I lamented that I needed a reading guide like they used to give you in English class.

After putting it aside for a few days, I came back and DEVOURED the second half. I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you’ve read it, you know what I’m talking about. I loooooved seeing Scully be resourceful and scrappy and capable, and the epilogue is incredible. I’m glad I pushed through!

🪡🌨️ Skamania County by Sarie_Fairy

This is actually the second time I’ve read this one, which I didn’t realize until near the end when I tried to leave kudos, haha. Anyway, I loved it both times! It has everything that makes survival fics so enticing: a nice trip to the woods that quickly goes wrong, one person hiding their life-threatening injury from the other, the intimacy of tending to their wounds, cuddling (naked) for warmth, and finally resolving that UST. Chef’s kiss!

🧙‍♀️🔭 The Mars Differential by @asteraceae-blue

This one is a WIP, and I cannot wait for the rest! It’s an intriguing casefile with plenty of msr.

I also read a bunch of @o6666666’s fics thanks to this masterlist that made its way around recently!

They are the master of writing fic that hurts so good. This IVF arc one might be my favorite, along with this season 9 one that squeezed my heart like a stress ball.

[cecilysass]

Milagro Fic Recommendations

These are good for any time of year, of course, not just February 14. But here are my favorite fics related to the season 6 episode Milagro, a long time favorite. (And @sisterspooky1013's favorite episode of all time: happy VD, girl!) I’ve been reading and sifting through these for some time, and I have tried to include some from all eras: newer AO3 fics, some written right after the ep aired, etc. But I'm sure I've missed some, so hit me with your own faves, please.

Because of Milagro's ending, this entire genre of fic tends to be heavy on the hurt/comfort and angst (which is fiiiiine by me), but that’s not all that’s here. Many of these are smutty, but not all.

Adagio - Terma99 A meditative, peaceful take on the aftermath of Milagro by a veteran author that includes both agents realizing something they had learned. Lovely.

Alma - 6hoursgirl (@sixhours) A lovely hurt/comfort Milagro piece. This one is Mulder POV, which is a little less common for post-Milagro, I think, and I like this characterization of Mulder as desperately wanting to help Scully, desperately wanting to protect her, but also a tiny bit scared of the intimacy and relationship he feels they’re on the cusp of. He’s so good-hearted and also a little dysfunctional here, and I love it.

Bated Breath - dreamingofscully (@dreamingofscully) This one has an original take on Scully's experience; it leaves Scully with clarity and new direction in her relationship with Mulder. DreamingofScully tends to write a more confident, in-charge Scully in the MSR than some do, and I appreciate it.

Beyond the Strokes of a Typewriter - storybycorey (@storybycorey) When Scully is stricken and ashamed that it’s been so long since anyone has seen her as a woman as Padgett did, Mulder is pushed to revelations. Mulder 3rd person POV. Very good smut build up. And nobody does a gorgeous feelings reveal from Mulder like storeybycorey, man.

I Believe - Diana Battis There are a lot of lovely, heartfelt hurt/comfort fics about the aftermath of Milagro (for obvious reasons), but this one is especially well done. Viewed from Scully’s third person point of view, it focuses on Mulder’s capacity for tenderness and guilt. Plus some smut.

Don’t Look Up - ArtemisX5 After Padgett's hallway revelation, Scully is horrified that she has no secrets left. But you know, Mulder is much slower on the draw than she gives him credit for. There is also such moving hurt/comfort in this.

Intimacies with Strangers -mldrgrl (@mldrgrl) This mid- and post- Milagro piece has Mulder and Scully simmering in tension and then boiling over. Their relationship is complex and painfully entangled, and I love how it plays out. There is also excellent Scully characterization. This one helps me to get more fully why she might have been drawn to Padgett initially, something I struggle with in the episode.

La Madrugada - h0ldthiscat A carefully told tale of RST that takes both characters seriously and is sincerely moving. Excellent.

Lacuna - Aloysia_Virgata (@aloysiavirgata) This is a longer work, not really a classic post ep per se. But I love this moody, angsty casefile set right after Milagro. This Scully has not come to terms with her emotions, is thoroughly freaked by how she reacted to Padgett, and hasn't even entirely worked out how she feels about Mulder. There is Scully/other here, but the ship is steering home. The end of this is so moving, but cw: dark themes in the casefile, extreme violence against children, traumatized agents.

Still Life - Seek_Its_Opposite (@seek-its-opposite) Ah, this is such a thoughtful and exquisitely written Scully character piece — and it contains some truly beautiful insights about Mulder, too. It suggests the heartbreaking idea that Mulder’s way of showing Scully respect (giving her distance) is continually hurting her. So tragic (and consistent with canon, e.g. Never Again.) One memorable line: “Every one of their fights is about how to care for one another, every last one.”

Alma Gemela - matchingfabric (@matchingfabric) After the events of Milagro, Scully (and Mulder) get accustomed to platonically sharing a bed for comfort. This is a slightly different take on post-Milagro. Exceptionally, irresistibly sweet. Oh, and smutty.

What did I miss? Tell me. And yes, I'm working on my own short Milagro fic that will be coming soon-ish.

[sixhours]

<3 Hello, Tumblr!

I'm Caroline! This blog is where I fangirl about The X-Files, The Last of Us, and the glorious human being that is Pedro Pascal, as well as whatever hobbies have piqued my interest recently.

This post acts as my fanfic masterlist.

Also find me: AO3 @6hoursgirl | Nobody Likes a Math Geek

The Last of Us

Because I like having my heart ripped out of my chest on the regular, and no one can do that like Joel Miller.

happy birthday, baby girl - In progress - PG-13 Ellie has never had a birthday. Joel can fix that.

i know you by heart - 40k - Explicit Joel and Ellie settle into their new lives in Jackson but it's not the easiest transition. Thankfully Jackson has a counselor to help with that. AKA the gay TLOU/Prospect crossover you didn't know you needed.

who knows where the time goes - 11k - Explicit An i know you by heart one-shot. It's New Year's 2027 and the dads are going through it.

reprise - 1.8k - Explicit An i know you by heart one-shot and follow-up to who knows where the time goes.

Looking for the Light - 750 - PG "She is gravity and he is stuck in her orbit." A Joel & baby Sarah drabble.

Walls of Glass - 17k - PG-13 Joel and Ellie struggle to deal with the aftermath of Silver Lake.

One Day at a Time - 25k - Explicit Joel becomes a dad. Again.

Postpartum - 1.8k - PG-13 Charlie has a rough night with newborn Anna, Joel is a supportive and caring partner, breastfeeding is hard, and postpartum hormones are a real trip. Set in the One Day at a Time universe.

Firsts - In progress - Explicit Anna’s firsts, a series of fluffy drabbles set in the One Day at a Time universe.

The Ghosts of Babylon - 63k - Explicit A medical doctor turned hardened FEDRA soldier, you're sent to spy on the settlement of Jackson, Wyoming, 21 years after the cordyceps outbreak. Things get complicated when you find an unexpected home...and some unexpected companionship.

Like Father, Like Daughters - 1.6k - PG Joel comforts Ellie after a nightmare, set in the Ghosts universe.

The X-Files

My first fandom, the original OTP, Mulder x Scully are my babies for life.

Alma - 4k - PG Post-episode for Milagro; the aftermath.

Harborage - 2.1k - PG Post-ep for Irresistible.

Helianthus - 3.6k - PG Mulder's favorite snack from Scully's point of view; three vignettes.

Morning Sickness - 1.2k - PG Post-ep for season 11.

Home Again - 1.2k - PG-13 An X-Files revival era fic.

Meteor - 1k - PG An X-Files revival era fic.

Remnants - 1k - PG Post-ep for Per Manum.

Everything else on AO3

[bumblepony]

If you have not already read this story, you need to. It's by the amazing @sixhours, and I absolutely love it. This chapter was my favorite so far! It's got everything a girlie needs, Action, stinky raiders, bloody death, reconnection, truth, forgiveness on two fronts, love on two fronts, Joel being a blubbering idiot, but so damn sweet.

[dnscully]

hi! I’m just now getting into the X-Files fandom and ur blog is amazing. I was wondering if you had any fanfic recs? I desperately need more MSR content, but I have no idea where to start

ahhh thank you so much! i have loads of favorites but here are some i go back to a lot:

Bite Size Love by malibusunset - season 7 fic. prequel to another series but can stand alone

The Common Fat of All Things Rare by Aloysia_Virgata & Scarlet - cancer arc fic in between never again and memento mori

Dating Kings and Queens by @baronessblixen - rain king fic

Between Sorrow and Bliss by @sunflowerseedsandscience - cancer arc fic

All The Times by agoodwoman - all the times mulder has said i love you before triangle (wip?)

the things she carries by @edierone - cancer arc angst and jealous mulder

Momentum by @msrheadcanon - post en-ami angst

The I in Team by @spookydarlablack - diana angst, mulder and scully in a team-building seminar

Fowl Play by @baronessblixen - diana angst

pocket guts by @wtfmulder - developing relationship but then ~boom~ diana fowley. diana angst 

Mulder, Scully and Diana Fucking Fowley by @sarie-fairy - diana angst, scully dates and mulder is jealous

Marshmallow World by agoodwoman - holiday fic. so cute. jealous mulder and flirty msr. kind of long?

Partners with Benefits by @gaycrouton - friends with benefits fic

AUs

In Another Life by @mldrgrl - au where mulder is just another fbi agent and scully is a bureau pathologist. a fave

close to knowing by @o6666666 - emily au. very cute 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 (wip)

the unspeakable fear of things by @how-i-met-your-mulder - emily au

A Boy and His Fox by 6hoursgirl - kidfic. post - per manum, and if im not mistaken its an au where the ivf works. also very cute. i’m such a sucker for daddy mulder 🤧

Another Man’s Child by Amorfati32 - au where scully has a kid (very long fic! and one of my favorites to reread)

Variations by Lapsed_Scholar - requiem au. the different ways requiem could have ended if mulder never went to oregon

Deadalive AU by @markwatneyandenesemble

Not on AO3 

i don’t like reading on places not on ao3 or tumblr, so when i rec fics on other sites like whispersofx or gossamer you knOW i like them

Worth Breaking by Narida Law - friends with benefits fic. mutual pining. sooo good

Cubed by Louise Martin - body swap fic. i read this some time ago so all i remember is that i quite liked it. im pretty sure they that scully body swaps with a scully [from] an alternate universe. (long fic!)

Skin by Annie Sewell-Jennings - au where mulder and scully have never met. but they kind of have? i haven’t read this in a long time. its complicated. also a long fic!

i just know im missing so many !! but these are all great

[mulderscreek]

First Christmas With You Challenge (2014)

This year’s challenge is to write a fic about an X-Files character sharing a first Christmas with their child. Although we typically think of a “first Christmas” as the first one a child is alive, the important element here is that it’s the first Christmas the character is sharing with this child no matter how many the child has already lived through.

Therefore there are multiple possibilities for how a “first” Christmas might come about, such as:

- Scully’s first Christmas with William - Scully and/or Mulder’s first Christmas with a non-canon baby - Any character’s first Christmas with their baby - Any character’s first Christmas with their newly adopted child - Any character’s first Christmas with their newly discovered child - Scully and/or Mulder’s first (AU) Christmas with Emily when she’s four if she lived, or at any age when was later discovered to be alive in your story - Mulder’s first Christmas with William in your AU story where William was never given up - Mulder’s first Christmas with William after being reunited - Any character’s first Christmas with their child who was physically separated from them for their previous Christmas(es) - William’s first Christmas with his adopted parents - William’s first Christmas with a newly born or adopted sibling - it’s permissible for this “first” Christmas to be a few months before the child’s birth if their mother’s pregnancy is far enough along for the unborn child’s presence to be felt - Any character’s first Christmas with a grandchild

These suggestions are not all-inclusive, so if you come up with another way a character would be spending the first Christmas with the baby or child, you’re welcome to strike out on your own =)

Very Optional:

* Combine this challenge with the elements of any other challenge on this site for entry in the Take Two Challenge

* You can write about more than one child’s first Christmas, so if you’d like to write about a six months’ pregnant Scully celebrating her 11-month-old’s first Christmas with Mulder after discovering Emily’s alive, being reunited with William and adopting the Van De Kamp’s other child after their untimely deaths… well, we’d be really impressed ::grins::

* If you’d like to, you can write a duology or trilogy, writing this as a sequel to a fic you write for the First Halloween With You challenge and/or the First Thanksgiving With You challenge

Fics so far for this challenge:

Nativitatis by 6hoursgirl

Choices at Christmas Time by trycee  

Another Man’s Child - A Christmas Tale by AmorFati32  

Home For the Holidays by Neoxphile

Please submit your story or the link to it to nurseryfiles@mulderscreek.com or post here on our submissions Tumblr  - or send me a message with your fic on Tumblr to reblog. - by  New Years Eve  

[txf-fic-chicks-blog]

Post Colonization / AU Tuesday

*Insert imaginary gif of Patty and Kristin doing the happy dance* 

Philes, we have another Master Post for you!  We don’t know about you, but we are obsessed with lists of fantastic fic, because what better way to keep track of great fic to read/reread??

A quickie reminder: this list is really a mixed bag.  We have pre-colonization, current colonization, post colonization, and, of course, alternate universe. Now, we here at Txf Fic Chicks consider pretty much anything that strays away from what we know as canon to be AU (secretly, some of our favies are season 8&9 rewrites, though), so it covers a vast amount of fic. 

Save this list, Philes, as it’s months worth of stories in one post.  And as always, the links take you to our original posts that contain the rating, length, and trigger warnings.

Love you, mean it xo

Hurricane Season by Rah and Beduini 

Abaddon’s Reign by Aka Jake

Song of Innocence by Christy

A Boy and His Fox by 6hoursgirl

The Other Man by Jess M.

White Ink by Bonetree

Fathom’s Five by Penumbra

All the Mulders by Alloway

The Seventh Age by David Hearne

One One-thousand by Nevdull

Lives Reclaimed by Vickey Mosely and Donna

Running Lessons by Maybeamanda and Spookey247

After the Future by Donna

Glass Landscape by Annie Sewell-Jennings

All Which It Inherit by Brandon D. Ray

Atomic-Powered Sex by Ten

Before Them by Donna

The Family G-Man by Neoxphile and FelineFemme

Rocky Mountain Interlude by Char Chaffin and Tess

The Unfinished Universe by Revely

Night Giving Off Flames by Jet

Eines Tages by Revilo Witts

Patient by Gwendolyn

Tempo by Jess

False Memories by Zuffy

Portions of Eternity by Dianora

Beating the Darkness Back by Anjou

Mexican Fried Ice Cream by Mish

Meeting Charlie by Donna

Where There’s a Will by Andrea

Chip Off the Old Block by Mimic117

A Madness Called Love by David Hearne

Winterlong Series by Neoxphile

Smoke on the Horizon by Paige Caldwell

Operation Clean House / Won and Lost by Sarah Segretti and Branwell

The Eleventh Hour by Rachel Anton

Full Reward by Bonetree

Foux by Alanna

Diary of the Second Holocaust by Megan Reilly

Wearing Icicles by Annie Sewell-Jennings

Last Call by Frogdoggie

Cunegund’s Restoration, or, The Best of All Possible Worlds, Really by Livia Balaban

[xfrevivalfanfic]

Title: Meteor 

Author: 6hoursgirl

Rating: PG

Category: Vignette

Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST

Spoilers: Revival

Summary: She remembers the space he'd carved around himself, and the moment she realized the distance was too great to cross.

[lilydalexf]

👽 Random X-Files Fic Rec

The first story here is from Scully's point of view, and she's spot-on throughout. Could it be any more beautifully romantic and devastatingly angsty? No, no it could not. But there’s more! There’s a whole second story to completely savor, this time from Mulder's point of view. Title: Waking Hours and Dreaming Hours Author: 6hoursgirl (@sixhours) Summary: Five times Scully woke up with Mulder, and one time she didn’t. Length: 3,894 words / 4,800 words Classification: Angst, MSR Rating: General Audiences / Explicit Spoilers: Home Again, Requiem, all things, Fight the Future, I Want To Believe, The Truth Favorite line: Their breaths mingle in the stillness, but he can no longer sleep, heart thrumming with the miracle of her presence and the burden of his guilt. Read the stories: Part 1, Part 2

[lilydalexf]

👽 Random X-Files Fic Rec

This story paints a quiet moment for Mulder and Scully under the night sky with beauty and gravity. It's perfect for them. Title: Meteor Author: 6hoursgirl (@sixhours) Summary: She remembers the space he’d carved around himself, and the moment she realized the distance was too great to cross. Length: 1,049 words Classification: Vignette, Friendship Rating: General Audiences Spoilers: Season 10 Favorite line: She finds his hand without trying and listens to the sound of their mingled breathing as the sky falls around them. Read the story!

[lilydalexf]

⛄️👽 X-Files Fic Rec Advent: Day  13

Holiday story time! The ghosts that come to visit Mulder in this Christmas Carol-esque story are snarky and annoying, which seems just about right for Mulder. Poor guy. But he has Scully, which not for the first time turns everything around. Title: An Xmas Carol Author: 6hoursgirl (@sixhours) Summary: Ghosts and Christmas go together like Mulder and Scully. Length: 6,279 words Classification: MSR, UST Rating: General Audiences Spoilers: None listed (but there are some for some early season episodes) Favorite line: “You clearly have feelings for this woman, and yet, you show it by inviting her to Wisconsin to look at a bunch of dead animals.” Read the story!

[lilydalexf]

What a fun ask! Here are some very good fics where Mulder and Scully exchange Christmas gifts (or one of them breaks a no-gift-exchange promise) and we get to know what the gifts are. Enjoy! 12 Scenes of Christmas Past and One of Christmas Future by ML the title says it all. The Christmas Series by Forte and Diana Battis Each chapter has its own summary. every couple tries to stop by seek_its_opposite (@seek-its-opposite​) “You want to go two on one? You and me against this recipe?”

If The Fates Allow by @baronessblixen​ Another post-ep for “How The Ghosts Stole Christmas”. Just The Thing by pinebluffvariant (@scienceandmysticism​) Miraculously, they’re sitting on his couch, shaking gift boxes together. An Xmas Carol by 6hoursgirl (@sixhours​) Ghosts and Christmas go together like Mulder and Scully.

[lilydalexf]

Hi there, hoping you can help me find 2 stories?? 1. I think it's set during All Things, and Scully wakes up from the couch and starts to leave. But then she comes back, and Mulder is in the living room and she says something like, 'the thing is, I think I'm in love with you.' To which he says something like, ' Oh thank God," and gives her a hug. 2. Set in Per Manum, after the failed IVF scene. Scully sits on the couch and watches Mulder make her tea, and she thinks about his goodness and what he means to her, and she says 'I love you.' Off his look, she says, 'Don't look so surprised.' Do either of these stories ring a bell?? Thank you!!

The Per Manum fic where Scully tells Mulder to not look so surprised that she loves him sounds like Remnants by 6hoursgirl (@sixhours). It is a post-ep with the summary: Everything that’s left of her broken dreams is standing at the counter, returning her smile.

The all things fic sounds familiar, but that may be because there is an epic number of all things fics where Scully tells Mulder she loves him. I couldn't place this specific one with Scully waking up on Mulder's couch, starting to leave his apartment, and then staying and having Mulder respond to her declaration with something like "Oh thank God." Sorry, anon. If you know what all things fic anon might be looking for, please let us know!

[lilydalexf]

👽 X-Files Fic Rec Roundup 2018, Part 7

Here is a master list of all my new X-Files fic recs from the last month. These and all my earlier recs can be found under my fic rec tag, where you can also read why I recced each story. Also, I posted a list of I Want To Believe fic recs this month if you're in the mood for some focused reading. Enjoy! ** Fic Rec Roundup 2018, Parts 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 -- 5 -- 6 ** The 13th Sign and 7 Days in May by prufrock's love (MSR AU - 165,806 words - R) (rec) Among Momentary Days by Innisfree (The Truth - ~10,550 words – NC-17) (rec) (If you have trouble with the Gossamer link, change "krycek" to "fluky") Desert Song by Barney O'Borg (4th of July - ~17,200 words - R) (rec) (If you have trouble with the Gossamer link, change "krycek" to "fluky") Gravity Plays Favorites by anythingbutgrey (Pre-XF - ~1,400 words - Not rated) (rec) Hero Worship by Elanor G (Space - ~700 words - PG) (rec) In My End is My Beginning, Parts 1, 2, and 3 by Johnie (Season 4 - ~13,600 words – NC-17) (rec) In the Moment by dtg (Monday - ~4,450 words - PG) (rec) Meteor by 6hoursgirl (@sixhours) (Season 10 – 1,049 words – General Audiences) (rec) Snow in Alabama by Tesla and MaybeAmanda (MSR - ~3,800 words – PG-13) (rec) Touch by @lepus-arcticus (MSR - ~1,100 words - Not rated) (rec)

[sixhours]

Dreaming Hours

Author: 6hoursgirl Category: V Subcategory: MSR Rating: NC-17

A companion to Waking Hours; six vignettes from Mulder's point of view.

Mulder shuffles down the narrow corridor, every step an effort as he makes his way to her makeshift room at McMurdo Station. The windowless hallway doesn't hint at the time, but his body cries for sleep. The lingering trauma of his head injury, jet lag, and the effect of full-body exertion have left him bone-tired and weary.

But she's alive.

The thought moves him, draws him toward her like a moth to flame.

He knocks lightly, nudging the door open to find her curled on her cot. He doesn't mean to wake her, isn't sure what he would say if he did. The last sixteen hours are a blur of cold and pain, but he wants to see her—needs to see her—to convince himself it wasn't a dream, that they really clawed their way out of the bowels of an alien craft, only to watch it disappear beyond the Antarctic skyline.

Her eyes flutter open before he can steal away, realizing he's been standing in the doorway for what could be seconds or minutes or hours. Her very presence warps time, an X-File of its own, one he isn't yet brave enough to investigate.

"Mulder," she says. Her face is mottled, shiny from the ointment meant to soothe the frostbite across her cheeks. Her hair is matted, caked through with a yet-to-be-identified substance that wouldn't wash out in the shower.

She is still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"Are we…going?"

He shakes his head, the gesture so painful he has to suppress a wince. "They're not expecting the plane for another six hours at least. Rest up."

She closes her eyes and nods, a testament to her exhaustion that she doesn't protest. Her voice cracks on each syllable like the weakened shell of an egg. "Stay with me?"

He takes a seat by the foot of her cot and tips his head back, resting it by her knee, a pose reminiscent of their first case in Oregon.

"Mulder…about before…I shouldn't have left—"

His head spins, he'll blame it on the angry red scab on his temple. "Don't, Scully."

"Listen to me—"

"You have nothing to apologize for. We don't have to talk about this now," he continues more gently, shifting on the concrete floor. He's not sure if he's more embarrassed about having tried to kiss her, or for lacking the presence of mind to think something as fleeting as a kiss could convince her to stay.

"Let me…finish," she says, unexpected strength at the ragged edges of her voice. "I shouldn't have quit. I was—"

"You have nothing to—"

"No," she says, and he can see her desperation as she leans up on one shoulder to look him in the eye. "I'm glad you didn't…let me off the hook."

He swallows his protest, a hard, bitter lump in his throat. Her loyalty is too much to accept, but he nods and reaches for her hand. She sighs and eases back onto the cot, satisfied the message has gotten across.

"We have a long trip. You should rest while you can," he murmurs. "I'll stay."

"Wake me…when it's time to go," she whispers, already drifting off.

Their breaths mingle in the stillness, but he can no longer sleep, heart thrumming with the miracle of her presence and the burden of his guilt.

They hadn't even been drunk.

Sleep-deprived, sure. High on the natural antioxidants found in black tea? That was a stretch. But she was naked in his bed, and neither of them were intoxicated, injured, or otherwise traumatized.

He hasn't dared close his eyes since she came to him, drifting into his bedroom like a hesitant spirit. If he closes his eyes, she'll fade away.

She'd be unhappy to know she's contributing to his insomnia, but watching her sleep is far more entertaining than staring at his reflection.

Her lips twitch and a furrow forms at her brow. Does she have nightmares? They've slept together once, and suddenly he doesn't know anything about her. He wants to wake her to ask what she's dreaming, what she's thinking. He wants to know everything.

He looks away, feeling like an intruder. Unwilling to be caught staring, he eases out of bed, pulls on boxers, and goes to the living room. The blanket he'd tucked around his partner's sleeping form is crumpled on the couch; he picks it up, bringing it to his nose. It smells like her; warm and sweet.

His stomach growls, reminding him that it's been several hours since he's eaten. He's reaching for the fridge when her voice, rich and low, carries into the kitchen.

"Looking for a midnight snack?"

"You spying on me, Scully?"

She chuckles. "Seven years, Mulder. If I'm a spy, I'm doing a terrible job."

"Or you're playing the long game. Work your way into my good favor, get me into bed, make me spill all my dirty secrets in a fit of post-coital transparency."

She arches an eyebrow in reply, and he shifts his weight, unable to hide what this exchange does to him. She's standing in his apartment at three in the morning wearing nothing but his t-shirt and the smug, satisfied look of a woman who knows exactly what she's doing.

"I, uh, think there's leftover Chinese," is all he can manage to say. "It's breakfast in London."

"A man after my heart," she murmurs.

Minutes later, they huddle over steaming plates of fried rice and orange chicken. She's curled into the corner of the couch, bare legs tucked underneath her, his shirt long enough to pull over her knees. There's orange sauce on her upper lip, and he resists the urge to lean over and kiss it away.

"Y'know, we never finished our conversation…before we…before I passed out," she says lightly. "And I don't think there are any wrong choices."

"So you're saying you believe in fate? That the outcome is inevitable?"

She shakes her head, chewing thoughtfully. "No. I'm saying that when we get to a point isn't as important as how we get there."

He watches her, momentarily lost in time, thinking of the how; seven years of signs, all of them pointing back to her.

"Oh, I didn't ask about your crop circles," she says, licking an errant grain of rice from her thumb. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing," he shrugs. "Kids with too much free time on their hands."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"It did, though," he says, smiling slightly. "Just…not in the way I expected."

Understanding paints her face like the dawn, a gentle blush across her cheeks in the dim glow of morning. The future spills out in front of them like sunlight.

The sun has yet to peek over the horizon, not yet stealing into their motel room through cracks in the curtains, when he wakes to her fingers splayed on his lower abdomen, her mouth lapping at the sensitive skin along his collarbone.

"Feeling better, I take it," he whispers, a morning-rough voice that reminds him he hasn't slept. He should turn over and try to catch a few more hours, he'll be wrecked without it, but her hand slides lower and her tongue is worrying his earlobe, and he's already forgotten what he was going to say.

"Mmm," she purrs, intent on the task at hand.

He opens his mouth to protest, but five soft, tight fingers have already tugged down the front of his boxers and wrapped themselves around his cock. He pushes up into her fist involuntarily, barely suppressing a groan.

"Thought we had a rule about this."

"You want me to stop?" she teases, deftly stroking her hand along his length with just the right amount of pressure.

"God no," he gasps.

She brings him to the brink, circling the head of his cock with her thumb, sliding up and down until he has to push her away to settle the racing of his heart. He turns over, slipping open the buttons on her shirt as she settles back against the pillows. Her hair makes lazy red swirls against the crisp cotton, ivory skin against the arctic white of the sheets.

He returns the favor, letting his lips play along the line of her jaw, at the sensitive spot just behind her ear, before capturing her mouth in his. His fingers trail along her sides, her breasts swollen and heavy in his hands. She whimpers when his tongue scrapes the sensitive peak of a nipple, but shakes her head when he asks if he should stop.

He kisses the spot over her womb and has a blinding flash of intuition, and he knows—he knows—that something vital has shifted. It blossoms in his chest, faint hope pressing against his ribs. He smothers his words against the soft, sweet skin of her stomach. It's not possible. He can't drag her back into the darkness on a hunch, and their miracles are too few and far between.

The thought is lost in a pleasure haze as his mouth meets the juncture of her thighs, as her hands grip at his hair, fingernails scratching an erotic brand into his scalp. She tastes different, sweeter. The faintest sweep of his tongue along her clit renders her gasping, arching, hissing through her teeth. If he didn't know better, he'd think it had been weeks since she'd been touched. With the diligent thrust of his tongue between her legs, she comes, stifling her cries in the pillow.

"God that was—was—" she reaches for the words, the shock evident on her face.

"Shh," he murmurs, nuzzling his way back to her, his mouth skittering over the gentle swell of her belly, hips coming to rest in the cradle of her pelvis. She kisses him with a thirst reminiscent of their first time. Soon she's writhing underneath him, reaching between them to stroke his cock. "Need you," she gasps. "Now…"

"Easy, easy," he whispers, letting her guide him inside with a mutual groan of pleasure, shuddering at her soft, wet heat. He rocks into her at a languid pace, content to watch her expressions, her swollen lips open and inviting. He leans down until his chest is pressed to hers, hungry to taste her, to enfold and protect her from the inevitable harm that awaits.

She hums her approval into his mouth, the hollow of his throat, her breath coming in short pants as he feels her swell around him. She comes with a whimpering cry, muffled by his collarbone. The graze of her teeth against his skin and the shuddering contractions around his cock send him over the edge.

In the aftermath, he won't remember the strange and unspoken flash of insight, or the hope so briefly ignited inside him. He drifts off with her back to his chest, fingers absently tracing the curls at the juncture of her thighs before coming to rest over the gentle swell of her abdomen and the nameless beat of a second heart.

She's in the bathroom again.

It happens every night; he counts the seconds, and tonight he gets to somewhere in the six-hundreds before he throws off the scratchy blanket and meets her at the door.

She blinks, hiding her shock, a fleeting glance of fury buried from the moment she meets his eyes.

"Scully…"

It's been weeks, faceless motel to faceless motel, pseudonym after pseudonym. She only leaves the bed when she thinks he's asleep, but he never sleeps. The muffled sound of her keening is an abysmal lullaby.

Their son should be resting between them, but they only have a phantom, a ghost, invisible and impenetrable as steel.

He's blocking her way; she shifts left, he goes right.

"Scully, please."

"What?" she snaps. Her eyes go from dull, muddy gray to bright, angry blue. "Mulder, move."

He shakes his head. "Scully, we need…I need…"

"Sleep," she says. "We need to sleep."

"We won't sleep," he sighs. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to say," she says, ducking her head. The line of her jaw pulses with unspoken rage.

"There's…everything," he insists, the words refusing to come. "I can't…we can't do this. If we're going to live like this—"

"This isn't living," she says. "It's nothing. Nothing," she spits, brushing his left side roughly as she squeezes between him and the narrow wall.

He grabs her arm, spins her around. "Scully, I need you to talk to me. It's been six weeks—"

"There's nothing to say, Mulder," she says, voice rising, eyes shimmering like the pavement on a hot day. "Everything is the same. Every day is the same, there is nothing to say, nothing to talk about that we haven't talked about a hundred times, and even if there were—"

She stops herself, clenches her fists.

"Even if there were, what?" he whispers, readying himself for a blow that doesn't come.

She wavers, barely restrained. "Just…let's go to sleep."

"No."

"Mulder—"

"No, Scully. I'm not losing you over this. I need you with me, I need to know you're—"

"I'm with you! I can't be anywhere else because I'm with you. What else do you want from me?"

There's a banging from next door, muffled voices yelling through the thin walls. "Keep it down!"

Mulder glares at the source before turning back to his partner. "I want…I want this to be OK."

She looks at him incredulously. "Things are not OK, Mulder. There is nothing even remotely OK about this."

"You think I don't know that?" he hisses. "I'm just trying to help."

"Our son is gone," she says, each word sharp enough to cut. "Gone. There is nothing you can do. There is nothing. We have nothing."

"We have each other."

The tilt of her head and the ragged rush of breath in and out of her lungs reminds him that it isn't true. It isn't enough.

The words escape before he can stop them, born of too many sleepless nights, of bitter resentment and despair. "You gave him up!"

The slap barely registers; the sound of her hand meeting his cheek, the sting at his jaw. He stares at her in dumb disbelief.

The knock at the door is like a gunshot in the aftermath.

Mulder glances through the peephole. "What do you want?"

"Just makin' sure I don't need to call the cops," the motel manager drawls, the threat ringing clear.

Mulder closes his eyes, clenches his jaw. "We're fine. Sorry for the trouble."

A long pause. "M'am?"

"Fine," Scully says. "Everything's fine."

Another heavy pause as they wait for the verdict.

"Alright then. But if y'all can't keep it down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"Won't happen again," Mulder says, catching Scully's eye. She nods in silent agreement.

He waits for the sound of retreating footsteps before reaching for their bags. Scully is already gathering supplies from the bathroom. They're packed and heading west within minutes, Mulder at the wheel, Scully curled in the passenger seat.

They drive the long road in heavy silence, until a glimmer of golden light spills over the horizon. When they've put another two-hundred miles behind them, Mulder pulls over at the side of a narrow desert road. He opens the door, unfolding his long legs and stretching away the hours.

He leaves the car and walks to the edge of the unending landscape. His cheek burns, marked by his own shame.

There's the creak of the car door opening behind him, footsteps in the gravel. Her arms come around his waist, face pressed to his back.

"He's gone," she whispers, so soft he almost doesn't hear.

He looks over his shoulder, catches a glimpse of her rusty, tangled hair. His voice is thick from the dry air and lack of sleep. "I know we wouldn't be here if it weren't for me. I know you…you did what you had to do," he murmurs.

Her fingers knot in the fabric of his t-shirt, and he feels her tears seeping through. He doesn't turn around for fear of what they'd have to face, but he can hold her, if only for a moment.

His hands find hers, stroking over the familiar ridges and valleys of her knuckles, the landscape of his heart cupped in the palm of his hand.

He'd planned this trip as a celebration of their freedom. Two weeks of white, sandy beaches and the warm blue waters of the Caribbean, and yet, something hovers over his partner like a black cloud. He can feel it when he sits beside her, when she barely shifts at his presence, instead staring off into the distance. It reminds him of a not-so-distant past, lonely motel rooms and endless desert highways.

They're supposed to have put that behind them.

He walks onto the balcony, perching on the lounge chair next to hers with his hands clasped between his knees.

"Hey. You lost the sun."

She looks surprised at his presence, as if she doesn't expect to find him here, as if they hadn't made love on that same chair not eight hours prior. "Hmm?"

Mulder gestures to the encroaching shadow. "You're in the shade."

"I hadn't noticed," Scully murmurs.

"Mm. I was thinking we could walk down to the beach later. See if the water's as warm as it looks."

"Sure," she says distantly. "That sounds nice."

He swallows, looks out at the rolling ocean, trying to see what she sees.

"I was reading the hotel guide—we can rent a rowboat and explore the bay," he says, attempting to draw her into conversation.

She shoots him a look. "The last time we rented a boat, it ended up at the bottom of a lake. They docked our pay for six months."

"This is a much smaller boat, Scully"

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"C'mon, Starbuck. I thought you were the sailor."

"You're thinking of my father."

"No, I'm most definitely thinking of you. I don't think your father would fit into that skimpy little outfit I saw in your suitcase, either."

She forces a smile but doesn't take the bait.

"What's wrong, Scully?"

It's impossible to tell what she's thinking on the best of days, but today her eyes are hidden behind dark glasses, her brow shaded by the wide brim of a hat. At first he doesn't think she'll speak up; when she does, her voice is flat.

"He didn't make it."

"Who?"

"Christian."

He swallows hard.

"He passed in his sleep," she continues. "I got the call Wednesday night."

They'd left Thursday morning. "You didn't say anything," Mulder says. "Why?"

"There wasn't anything I could have done. His parents aren't pressing charges, but they didn't want to see me. Father Ybarra suggested I take the time off. We'll discuss the consequences when I get back."

"Consequences? What, like—"

"It was a risk. I knew that going into it," she frowns, toeing at the sand. "It's done."

"The parents signed a waiver, right?"

She nods. "But I went against the hospital board. And I don't think I could stay there even if they weren't planning to fire me."

The injustice burns in his chest, but he bites the inside of his cheek. "Hey, it'll be alright. We don't need the money."

"He was twelve," she says hollowly. "A boy. He didn't deserve—"

She doesn't finish. Mulder reaches over to take her hand, to touch her through the fog. "You did what you could," he whispers.

She shakes her head and pulls her hand away, a tear sliding from beneath the dark shades. "It wasn't enough."

It seems too bright to be discussing this; the sky is offensively blue, the sea a perfect turquoise against the white sand beach. No amount of darkness should be able to touch them here.

"Scully—"

She swipes at her eyes, then gets up, signaling the end of the conversation. "I'm going to get a drink. Want anything?"

You, he thinks. Our son.

He follows her to the kitchen, watches as she pours herself a glass of wine. His new passport lays open on the countertop, but the face glaring up at him is unfamiliar. It's been years since he's had a form of ID that wasn't forged and delivered in a plain manila envelope with no return address. The man on the sleek plastic paper is old, weathered—a far cry from his younger self.

The lines around Scully's eyes and mouth tell a similar story. Without the glasses, she looks tired. She leans against the counter, sipping her wine. There's a sigh, as if in resignation, before she squares her shoulders and forces a smile. With the gesture, her mask falls firmly back into place.

"We should be celebrating," she says. "Take me out, Mulder."

Something in the back of his mind cries for him to confront the ghost in the room, but outside, the warm water beckons. The prospect of smoothing sunblock onto his partner's naked back weakens his resolve.

"Why don't you put on that skimpy little outfit, and we'll go find that boat rental place?"

She puts down her drink and takes his hand. "Only if you promise no sea monsters."

Age has only served to worsen his insomnia, so Mulder is awake when she shows up on his doorstep on a Sunday morning just before dawn, carrying a tray of fancy coffee—hand ground, fair trade, and nothing like the Folgers crystals he buys in bulk.

"Scully…?"

"Can I come in?"

He steps aside, opens the door. She moves carefully, like a guest rather than the name on the deed.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I, um…I went out for coffee and got halfway back to the apartment before I realized I'd bought two."

He quirks an eyebrow. "So you drove an hour out of your way? It's probably cold…"

"If you don't want it—"

"No, no, I'm glad you came—thanks," he says, cursing his big mouth, reaching for the proffered cup and taking a long sip. It's lukewarm, barely palatable, but he'll drink the whole thing. Both of them, if she asked.

God, he's hopeless.

She watches with a mixture of hesitation and amusement, shrugging off her coat before taking a sip from her own cup. Extra cream, no sugar, he thinks. He knew her coffee order long before he knew what kind of underwear she wore, before he knew what color toothbrush she kept by the sink. That was a lifetime ago.

Lightened of the coffee, she stands by the table, eyes flitting about the room. He's suddenly glad he cleaned up yesterday. It never used to bother him that she was privy to his mess, but after she'd left…well.

A lot of things changed after she left.

She glances down, tilts her head in a silent question. He follows her gaze, realizes he's wearing his workout sweats, the knees stained dark with soil.

"Oh, uh, I was pulling weeds. The garden," he gestures outside to the overgrown vegetable patch.

"You never liked gardening."

"I don't. I mean, I didn't. But there's only so much running I can do at my age, and my therapist says it's good to keep busy," he shrugs.

"Ahh," she nods, ducking her head. They talk around these things now; therapy, co-dependence, the impossibility of them.

"Mulder, about the other night…I just wanted to say thank you. For being here," she says, and he can tell from the flush in her cheeks how much it took for her to come. Knows the coffee was an excuse, rather than a reason.

"I've always been here," he says, hoping he sounds kind, rather than bitter. He's not bitter, he realizes. It had taken them working together to see that.

She nods, sips at her drink, thinking. "I also wanted to apologize…"

"What for?"

"When I left…" she says, drifting off, not meeting his eyes. "I wanted you to know how much it hurt that you couldn't…stop searching. I wanted us to be enough, and when it wasn't…"

She trails off, and he waits, afraid to move for fear of breaking the spell.

"The hurt didn't go away," she murmurs. "It was still there, under all the resentment."

She bites her lower lip hard enough to leave a mark, the skin turning bright pink. The silence stretches out, winds itself around Mulder's ribs, makes it impossible to breathe.

"I thought—" she begins, but fumbles, hands betraying her as her coffee cup hits the floor.

"Fuck," she gasps. She drops to her knees, plucking the cup from the growing puddle.

"Here," he grabs a roll of paper towels from the counter. He kneels beside her and begins to wipe up the mess, studiously ignoring the way her shoulder brushes his and lingers. He's had a lot of practice at ignoring her proximity.

"I'm sorry," she says, and he knows she's not talking about the spill.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get the rest." He stills her hands with his own, the touch eliciting a careful in breath from her.

They stand, and she makes a show of brushing off her slacks. Her lip pokes out in a frown. She catches him watching, and he resists the urge to smooth back his hair, wonders if he has something between his teeth.

He clears his throat. "I can make a fresh pot."

"I'd like that."

He goes to the kitchen, finds the canister of grounds. He takes an inordinate amount of pleasure in measuring out a portion for two, and is reaching for the mugs when she speaks.

"I didn't know you had a copy…"

She's staring at something with such intensity that for a fleeting moment, he's envious, then guilty when he realizes she's holding the picture of William. He'd pulled it out after their conversation, suddenly desperate to see their son, to remind himself that the person they dreamed of was real, and not a shared figment of two troubled imaginations.

"Yeah," is all he can manage. "It's, uh, him."

Her face changes then, an expression so unexpected he wonders if he's dreaming. She smiles.

"I took that a few weeks before the adoption…he was so riled up that night, I couldn't get him to sleep. He wanted to play, he was talking…he always reminded me of you when he was like that," she says. "Once he got started, you couldn't calm him down."

"Babies don't listen to reason either, huh?"

"Not ours," she snorts, fingering the softened edge of the photograph. "No, I think he inherited a double dose of stubbornness. He came by it honestly."

"I wanted more," he says, surprising himself.

She looks up at him in disbelief.

"More kids. One more. If you'd wanted…once things settled…I mean."

"You never told me."

"I never…there was your residency and I wasn't…exactly, uh, legal," he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I guess things never really settled."

She considers this with something like curiosity and sorrow. "Would having another child have changed anything?"

He swallows. "It wasn't about that…about us. I mean, it was about us, but it wasn't…I wanted to be a dad. I wanted to be his dad."

This earns him a sad smile. "I know."

Something about the way she looks at him gives him hope. When the coffee has finished brewing, they sit at the table, the picture of William between them.

"Look, Scully…I can't let you take the blame. I should have said something when it mattered. Maybe if I had…you'd be here. And you wouldn't have to bring me cold coffee."

She smirks. "Well…this isn't so bad. I can think of worse ways to spend a Sunday morning."

When their mugs are empty and the conversation slows, she reaches for her coat.

"I should get back. It's laundry day, and I still have a stack of case reports to read. I'd forgotten how much of the FBI is paperwork."

He resists the urge to ask her to stay; tamps down on it, wrestles it into submission. "Oh, sure."

She lingers by the door. "Thanks, Mulder. This was nice."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, nods as she's turning to go. "Hey," he blurts out, only faintly aware of what he's going to say before he opens his mouth. "What if we made it a date? Same time next week?"

She arches an eyebrow. "A date, Mulder?"

He swallows, a subtle heat creeping up his neck. "Not a date-date, just a—"

"Sure," she cuts him off, smiling. "I'd like that."

He returns her smile, feels the delicate burn of hope in his chest. "I'll have the coffee ready."