#60% success rate

[louisblr]

interference - drabble - gen

summary: niall has to run interference for two idiots with crushes

a little addition for @wordplayfics week 5!

a pressing need - 1k - gen

summary: louis desperately needs to have some shirts pressed. harry and niall help him navigate the situation.

written for @wordplayfics prompt 4: press

[ellieellieoxenfree]

[queen-mabs-revenge]

oh it's real depression hours

[nix-that-rad-lass]

Lowkey panicking because I’m def not ready to be a mom lmaoo

[fearnes-malewife]

Her name is Gaia, she weights about 3 pounds and is 8-months old. That’s about as big as she’s going to get, as compared to the other Black-Footed Cat they have who is massive compared to average one. (Pictures of him below)

She’s been getting more used to her enclosure and the many people excited to see her. And getting zoomies.

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

[racke7]

My glamour-adventures in FF14 continue, with several different outfits depending on levels (sometimes bcs lvl-locked glamours, sometimes bcs I had an idea and kind of wanted to use it):

BLM at lvl 60:

MCH at lvl 60:

DRG at lvl 60:

SAM at lvl 50 (any higher and I'd be using the MNK-outfit):

DRK 60:

WAR 70:

AST 50:

SCH 60:

WHM 70:

Crafters:

[oscaronthegloryroad]

I've been hitting another string of failures.

Nothing I do works, things I have done a dozen times just aren't going the way they should and I am at the end of my fucking rope.

What the fuck?

[teacup-and-murder]

Sometimes I try to lucid dream and fail, so I just tell everyone else what actually happened like we're larping, then just continue with business

[starry-bi-sky]

FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.

Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.

AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!

And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.

COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!

[pukicho]

like 60% of your posts are funny maybe 55%

Insane success rate

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Spellbound

you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone

synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆

you might be the only one

might be the only one for me

feeling 1. young and stupid

feeling 2. child of divorce

feeling 3. no schedule just vibes

feeling 4. six feet under

feeling 5. this is my fight song

feeling 6. success rate

feeling 7. lone wolf

feeling 8. dumpster fire

feeling 9. retail therapy

feeling 10. be normal

feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated

feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl

feeling 13. exorcism

feeling 14. shut ur up

feeling 15. winner

feeling 16. hip hip hooray

feeling 17. swiped right!

feeling 18. silly little mystery

feeling 19. for no reason

feeling 20. i guess so

feeling 21. sigh of relief

feeling 22. relationship territory

feeling 23. don’t hmu

feeling 24. major in loser

feeling 25. fight club

feeling 26. jigsaw

feeling 27. ghosting

feeling 28. cold shoulder

feeling 29. before marriage

feeling 30. meant to be

feeling 31. a hunch

feeling 32. survival of the fittest

feeling 33. he knows

feeling 34. so close yet so far

feeling 35. (disrespectfully)

feeling 36. regressing

feeling 37. take pity

feeling 38. telepathy

feeling 39. betrayed

feeling 40. two birds with one stone

feeling 41. dead end

feeling 42. mass hysteria

feeling 43. an apology

feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love

feeling 45. psychological warfare

feeling 46. jealous

feeling 47. a facade

feeling 48. learning to coexist

feeling 49. with you

feeling 50. useless E information

feeling 51. good idea

feeling 52. break the peace

feeling 53. enjoy the peace

feeling 54. revenge

feeling 55. tolerable

feeling 56. catastrophic

feeling 57. fumbled

feeling 58. easier than you think

feeling 59. no downtime

feeling 60. caught red handed

feeling 61. for good

feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi

feeling 63. delicate

feeling 64. best bet

feeling 65. valid question

feeling 66. devils incarnate

feeling 67. patience is a virtue

feeling 68. grow and change as a person

feeling 69. megumi truthers

feeling 70. knock on wood

feeling 71. come find me

feeling 72. cryptic

feeling 73. more than aware

feeling 74. see the future

feeling 75. trying to be nice

feeling 76. why do you hate me

feeling 77. knight in shining armor

feeling 78. perfect paradox

feeling 79. idgaf war

feeling 80. stay like this forever

feeling 81. baby bird

feeling 82. found your way back

feeling 83. heart racing

feeling 84. loverboy activities feeling 85. megumi this megumi that feeling 86. protect you feeling 87. flirt back feeling 88. wingmen feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations feeling 90. more broken feeling 91. gets shirtless again feeling 92. 1 new message!

feeling 93. protecting your peace

feeling 94. tired of waiting

last feeling. a kiss and a fight

epilogue/bonus feeling. spy

[doomdoomofdoom]

With the ongoing investigation into the CEO Killer, it's interesting to see how little people know about police investigations. Which is funny, because most of that stems from Copaganda and is now kinda biting the cops in the ass.

Semi-Educated rambles about copaganda and real procedures below the cut

I say semi-educated because I am writing a thesis paper on copaganda, but much more about the brutality aspects and not the crime solving ones. I did write a much less intense paper on that almost ten years ago, and presumably some things have changed. Take my "expertise" with a grain of salt.

The Copaganda Thing

Copaganda (Cop Propaganda) is basically what the name suggests. Anything that makes police look good. Social media posts about community outreach, the adorable little K-9 units, kneeling next to a protestor that you brutalize after the camera turns off. But the massive elephant in the room here are Cop Shows. There are literally too many for me to name. NCIS, Blue Bloods, True Detective, any of those weird "live" police shows, and yes, Brooklyn 99, too. These shows (often produced in cooperation with the police btw) serve to humanize cops and portray them as good, honest people, who maybe have to cross the line sometimes but it's always for a good reason and they're always right and save the day! The other half of it is vastly misrepresenting how (and if) crimes get solved.

Reality

Ripping this band-aid off first: Police are dogshit at solving crimes. There are aspects technically outside their control, like that only about half of all crimes (excluding murder) actually get reported to the police. (Based on comparing the 'Uniform Crime Reports' and the 'National Criminal Victimization Survey') But this also means that the Police Clearance rates are only half of what they calculate. Numbers get further skewed by not accounting for a lot of online crimes because the system hasn't caught up with like, the 90s. Anyway, for reported crimes, investigations will lead to an arrest in about 20-25% of cases. Three out of Four cases die without ever apprehending a suspect. (While there are ways to deal with a case without an arrest, ask yourself if you think that's likely in a system that measures success by arrest numbers) Conviction rates (which vary massively depending on crime) even out to about 4%, or 2% of total known crimes. (x) Worth noting: Generally, violent crimes have higher clearance and conviction rates. For murder, the conviction rate is around 60% while larceny-theft can dip below 1% of reported crimes. (It's generally assumed that the number of known and reported murders is the same, as the NCVS doesn't track it. Because murder victims are bad at filling out surveys.) To recap: Police solve about 4% of crimes reported to them. Meanwhile in your average cop show, you've got a success rate of about 100%. That's a stark difference, even if you take only murder rates of 60%. If you're an average citizen who's the victim of a crime, the most helpful thing the cops will do is file a report you can submit to your insurance.

Forensics & Procedures

I've seen these float around a bit and it's mildly ridiculous. Supposedly they've found a bottle and a protein bar of our killer and will be testing fingerprints and DNA. If those worked flawlessly, they still would only bring up results if the killer has been detained before. Databases of random civilian fingerprints/DNA samples are not kept by law enforcement. These analyses only work by having a point of comparison (and even then fingerprint analysis remains subjective), so they won't actually help finding the culprit, but they would be relevant to confirm the identity of an apprehended suspect and as evidence in an eventual trial. (There is also something called familial DNA which would work if they had a couple of relatives in the system, but that's both a flawed and incredibly time intensive approach. We're talking months of drawing family trees.) Also your average DNA test takes like 24 hours and fingerprint analysis is algorithmically supported now, but still mostly done manually. And both require a clear sample, so good luck with that. Fingerprint might as well be the clerk who sold the bottle. There's an infamous case of a serial killer whose DNA kept being found on crime scenes all Central Europe with no connection to each other. Turned out the Swabs were contaminated during production. There was no serial killer. Quickfire round of unrelated notes: 1) Lie detectors don't detect lies, they detect stress, anyone can trick one with some practice. the guy who popularized their use thought they could detect stress in plants too and that the plants could read his mind. 2) We're not actually sure if all fingerprints are completely unique. 3) Bite mark analysis is a pseudoscience that needs to be removed from criminal and legal proceedings asap. 4) Any algorithmic detections inherit the flaws of their human predecessors. Those are their training data. (That's also how they keep turning up racist)

And as a final note, it's common for the police to not share details on their ongoing investigations. That's just common sense. The only details that get released to the public are ones that could lead to direct hints or vague ones if there's a lot of public attention, to assure everyone there is progress. For similar reasons, while everyone and their grandma has put together the motive from the bullet casings, cops can't actually go out and confirm that. It's like how Bulbapedia has to say Flamigo appears to be based on a flamingo. Contrary to the cops, Bulbapedia does not have to carefully watch what data they release that might elicit more sympathy for Flamigo.

Why tho

So after literal decades of copaganda brainwashing, the public perception of crime and punishment is heavily skewed. We've been told over and over that cops can catch any criminal in a matter of a 60 minute episode, max. And that's by design. Aside from the image polishing, copaganda is a deterrent. If you're convinced you'll be caught after committing a crime, you wouldn't commit it, right? You don't wanna go to jail. And the bad guys always get what they deserve on TV, no matter how smart they are. You're not gonna risk that, are you?

That's why we keep using lie detectors, that's why the news are full of arrests being made constantly, that's why cop shows get so much support from the police. That's also why we keep pouring money into policing. Part of it, at least. We've built a police force that isn't about solving crimes. If that was priority, we'd invest more into forensics and labs to keep up with the demand of samples that need to be analyzed. Instead, we built a police force that gets new tech gadgets and military gear. It's an arms race against the general public that isn't even running. We take cops and we give them paranoia, weapons, justifications for violence, and targets to brutalize. I don't have to remind you of the riot gear and responses to peaceful protests. The police isn't your friend and helper. You must fear them. Fear their superior intellect, fear their crime solving abilities, fear the high tech arsenal at their disposal. Fear them so much, you won't even think of doing a crime unless you're rotten to the core. And if someone's rotten to the core, then surely the violence is justified.

But that's also why this guy in particular is so dangerous. They've built up this image of being near infallible (to anyone who never actually interacted with police proceedings, at least) and being able to stop any threat, catch any criminal. And yet, this guy shot someone in broad daylight, in the juristiction of the country's largest police department, and he's currently getting away with it.

[unreversedumbrella]

One of my favourite ritsu moments was when he first met the awakening lab kids and started to just bitch about them in his mind - is that all you can do, says guy who cant do anything

Not only is his polite on the outside bitch on the inside behaviour really funny, it makes a lot of sense character wise

From his perspective psychic powers are about leveling entire city blocks so of course he's going to belittle the guy who struggles to bend a spoon

But they DO have powers while he doesn't. So he needs to belittle them. he can't make fire out of nothing but a lighter is better than the other guy. He doesn't have telepathy, but a cellphone is better than whatever those twins have. A 60% success rate? That's nothing (even though it's way better than the game's actual odds)

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request the seven brothers who makes cute faces when she spaces out or is deep in thought?

Lucifer

He thinks it’s adorable.

Lucifer isn’t a very expressive person, so he finds it amusing how every expression is played on their face.

It’s also much easier to guess what they are thinking about when their ‘heart’ is on their sleeve.

Mammon

Couldn’t tell what someone was thinking or feeling if it was written on their forehead.

He of course notices that they make faces, but thinks it’s just a weird human thing and not unique to s/o

Typical Mammon puts his foot in his mouth by commenting on it often. Making s/o embarrassed, and then him out in the proverbial cold for a bit.

Levi

Also not good at telling what people are feeling, but he is actually good at reading expressions (probably from all those emoji games he plays).

Finds it helpful since his social cues are non-existent. He can sort of pick up on the moment this way, rather than just being totally awkward.

His success rate is only about 60% but he’s working on improving his stats.

Satan

Notices right away but chooses not to comment on it in order to deduce what it’s all about.

Being the inner detective that he is, Satan quickly learns what their facial expressions are about and what they signify.

Within a few weeks he almost has a full map of what they are feeling based on advanced physiognomy. He’s even written it down as a reference guide somewhere in his books; carefully hidden away as he would die if s/o found it.

Asmo

Everything s/o does is cute, but this is one of the cutest.

Every little furrow of their brow, purse of their lips, crinkle of their nose, sends Asmo into an emoting fit of love. He just can’t help how adorable it is!

He does feel the need to comment on making sure they relax their face, lest they get pre-mature wrinkles.

Beel

Beel hardly notices it.

Unless they tell him they are thinking about something, their facial expressions go right over his head.

The super cute ones make it through, as Beel has a soft spot for cute things, but they have to be really cute for him to notice. We’re talking instant cavity sweet adorable here.

Belphie

He’s not the detective that Satan is, but Belphie is pretty observant. He has to be to make sure he doesn’t run into walls half asleep.

He notices the expressions but doesn’t comment on them as he’s scared that they would stop if he mentioned it.

Like Satan, he uses them as a gauge for how they are feeling or thinking to respond accordingly. Oddly enough he has the highest success rate of guesses. Although, he participates in the guessing the least. So there is that.

[life-on-our-planet]

Thanks to a radio collar and night-vision cameras, we can watch a black-footed cat hunting. They're renowned for their skill, with a 60% rate of success hitting their target. ©Nature on PBS

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hello! Off the back of your Welsh letter post, have you ever listened to the Elis James and John Robins podcast? Elis is Welsh and has historically boasted that if he meets a random Welsh person, I.e. on holiday, he can find a shared connection fairly quickly. They've turned this into a feature called the Cymru Connection, where he has 60 seconds to connect to a Welsh caller. I won't spoil his current success rate but it's very funny.

So I haven't, because my personal brand of ADHD means I cannot handle podcasts or radio; but, my husband does! He's friends with both. He's a big fan of Cymru Connection. It's loosely based on a Welsh language radio segment that Welsh comedian Tudur Owen does each week, where a caller phones in and Tudur has to work out what person they mutually know within three questions.

Pleasingly, this used to be a really easy game, but is now becoming harder as young people call in. The reason being, after the 1991 census showed how Welsh speakers had plummeted to 17% of the population, the Welsh Language Act (1993) was introduced which made learning Welsh in schools a legal requirement, among other things. This led to a huge increase in the number of Welsh medium schools, where you learn all subjects in Welsh rather than English, which opened up the opportunity to children from English-speaking homes. There's a whole demographic of Millennial Welsh speakers now, therefore, who don't have any of the traditional connections to Welsh language culture that the game used to rely on. Tudur's hit rate is therefore super high for anyone over 40, but becomes patchy with the Youth; but, it's a sign of how much we've grown. Very pleasing.