#60% success rate
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louisblr · 6 months ago
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interference - drabble - gen
summary: niall has to run interference for two idiots with crushes
a little addition for @wordplayfics week 5!
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a pressing need - 1k - gen
summary: louis desperately needs to have some shirts pressed. harry and niall help him navigate the situation.
written for @wordplayfics prompt 4: press
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meightyone · 2 months ago
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"oscar is a polite cat!" this is the kind of cat he is. btw.
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ellieellieoxenfree · 1 year ago
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queen-mabs-revenge · 1 year ago
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oh it's real depression hours
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nix-that-rad-lass · 2 years ago
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Lowkey panicking because I’m def not ready to be a mom lmaoo
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entropic-introspection · 1 month ago
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Me: Did you know, one of the most successful hunters on earth is the dragonfly, with a success rate of 90%!
Myself: Hold on, we can’t be wrong in this hypothetical convo with no one. Double check that figure
Me: … with success rate of 95%!!! :D
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racke7 · 4 months ago
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My glamour-adventures in FF14 continue, with several different outfits depending on levels (sometimes bcs lvl-locked glamours, sometimes bcs I had an idea and kind of wanted to use it):
BLM at lvl 60:
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MCH at lvl 60:
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DRG at lvl 60:
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SAM at lvl 50 (any higher and I'd be using the MNK-outfit):
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DRK 60:
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WAR 70:
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AST 50:
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SCH 60:
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WHM 70:
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Crafters:
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#and yeah. i'm slowly leveling everything up to 60. then i'll unlock DNC and GNB#after that i'll try to focus on finishing Stormblood. and then i'll level everything up to 70#and then i'll be unlocking RPR and SGE. i'm really looking forward to figuring out SGE.#barrier-healing is an interesting concept. and i'd like to see what it's like outside of SCH and its double-weird mechanics#everyone else gets ONE weird mechanic (WHM's lilies. AST's cards) SCH gets TWO (faerie + aetherflow)#so i'd like to see if SGE dials the weirdness of that class back a bit. or at least lets me use barriers as an ''instant-save''#we'll see in due time. also also? i've given in to the marketplace (anemo-jacket was too cheap not to)#and the poncho needs mats that requires a guild to get. so marketplace it is.#got a bit distracted trying to find some way to make gil from the marketplace afterwards with mixed success#there were some glamour-items whose mats were MORE EXPENSIVE than the glamour. so crafting didn't help.#and ofc the prices fluctuate and just bcs you're ''selling for the cheapest'' doesn't mean that people are buying#so in comparison to doing the duty-roulette as a requested-class? where i can make like 100k in two hours?#not exactly a competitive rate for gil-making. but it was an experience at least?#also? got culinarian (it had the easiest-to-access mats) up to lvl 80 by grinding scrip#so that's fun. dunno what i'm supposed to do with that. but at least i now have a lot of mastery-books#personal stuff#ff14#video games
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oscaronthegloryroad · 1 year ago
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I've been hitting another string of failures.
Nothing I do works, things I have done a dozen times just aren't going the way they should and I am at the end of my fucking rope.
What the fuck?
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amnhnyc · 16 days ago
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This Caturday, meet the black-footed cat (Felis nigripes). It’s the smallest wild cat in Africa, only growing about 8 in (20 cm) tall and weighing around 4.4 lbs (2 kg). Don’t let its size fool you: This pint-sized predator is an extremely successful hunter, with a recorded kill rate of 10 to 14 prey animals per night—taking down critters such as rodents and birds about every 50 minutes! How does this stack up to bigger felines? The black-footed cat’s hunting success rate is 60 percent, far higher than that of a group of lions on the hunt—they peak at about 30 percent. And why does this tiny cat eat so much? This species’ fast metabolism requires it to refuel constantly. 
Photo: Patrick Ch. Apfeld, CC-BY-3.0, Wikimedia Commons
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teacup-and-murder · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I try to lucid dream and fail, so I just tell everyone else what actually happened like we're larping, then just continue with business
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
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pukicho · 11 months ago
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like 60% of your posts are funny maybe 55%
Insane success rate
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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 1 month ago
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Punish me.
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Pairing: Boss!Joel Miller x f!reader Rating: +18, NSFW, MDNI Words count: 5853
Summary: What happens when your boss punishes you but you like it too much? You look for more. And more. Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of Y/N, legal unspecified age gap, power imbalance, dom!Joel / sub!reader, degradation, oral (m receiving), spanking, unprotected p in v (reader is on the pill but still, do better irl), initially dub-con but reader is very into it, risk of being caught, a little chocking if you squint, cream pie, squirting, reader has no description other than the clothes she is wearing, manipulation, slurs, pet names, reader calls Joel "Sir". This Joel is low-key inspired by Don Draper from Mad Men and the whole thing was also low-key inspired by Secretary (2002). Let me know if I forgot something important, I will add it right away. A/N: Written for Never Have I Ever challenge hosted by the lovely @yxtkiwiyxt , this was my prompt and I had so much fun working on it! Thanks for giving me the opportunity to join! 🥰 Thanks to @aurorawritestoescape for being the most precious beta and @joelmillerisapunk for being the best support I could ask for and for letting me yap about it for a month and half lol I love you so much 🥹❤️ English is not my first language, every single mistake is still on me, I deeply apologize if you find any. Thanks to anyone who will read! masterlist | Joel Miller masterlist
“Mr Miller wants to see you in his office at 3” When Pam called you to say that a shiver ran down your spine.
Your last client was the owner of a large brewing company, a self-centered rich asshole that you couldn’t stomach in any way.
He had been pressing you for weeks for you to come up with the most sexist and stupidest ad campaign ever, all while you were trying to present him with new ideas that didn't necessarily include 10 women in bikinis at the feet of one man or other such things that had been done 200 times already .
You hated the guy with every fiber of your being and you told him exactly what you were thinking about him when he called you a prude and argued that he could show you what a real man was.
Seeing his sleezy smile as he winked at you and told you that you needed to fuck more was your last straw.
You were glad to be rid of him but you knew well that your boss would not have the same opinion. 
Right out of college what you wanted was to learn the profession as soon as possible, and you wanted to learn it from the best in the business. 
Joel Miller owned the most famous advertising agency in town, so you did everything to get an internship there.
You understood why he was so successful from day one.
__________________________________
Pam was sitting at her desk as usual when you walked in. 
Her desk was a few feet from the door of Mr. Miller's office. 
A large, black, solid wooden door with a fine frame, one of those that seemed to lead to the rooms forbidden to poor commoners. 
She just looked up from the computer screen to tell you to come in, Mr. Miller was waiting for you, and then she was back to work.
Pam was a woman in her 60s, blond hair perpetually pulled back in an elegant bun, a pearl necklace around her neck, cachemire sweaters in all pastel colors, silk blouses and matching skirts.
She looked very neat, austere, you could swear you never saw her smile but heck, she was really good at her job and had been managing Mr. Miller's impossible schedule for many years.
You knocked on the door feeling your heart in your throat, thinking you were one step away from being fired.
Joel's voice bounced through the door, heavy and raspy, "come in.”
You entered trying to maintain a composure.
“Good morning, Mr Miller, you wanted to see me?” 
He put down the papers he was perusing on the desk and looked up at you.
“Oh, it's you,” he said in a very calm voice. “The one who made me lose a lot of money.”
“I...I'm sorry but the guy was too much of an asshole for me to take it,” you spat out.
You knew Joel appreciated people who were standing their ground.
“Excuse me, should I care? You just made a thousand dollar check disappear.” 
The silence that enveloped the room was unreal.
You stood in front of his stately mahogany desk, trying to keep your back straight and your shoulders high.
Of course, he didn’t care, he was an asshole too.
________________________________
He had conducted the interviews personally, without delegating it to his subordinates.
He hired you himself, without missing the opportunity to intimidate you in the meantime.
The first day you had come in you were shy, awkward, afraid of your own shadow. 
How did you think you could deliver a presentation in front of a client if you looked like a frightened little bird that had just fallen out of the nest?
Joel said he took a risk hiring you, the least you could do was to show him how much you really wanted the job.
Eventually you learned to fight. 
It hadn't been pleasant or even easy, Joel wouldn't let you get away with anything, criticized your every idea, sometimes blatantly mocked you. 
He had pushed you to work harder than you would have imagined and you were eager to let him know that you were worth something, that you were not just an honors graduate but could translate your knowledge into the practical field.
You also owed it to yourself. 
Your parents supported you but had always told you that you were not the type to work in advertising.
Too kind, too quiet, too sweet. 
“Honey, are you sure? Wouldn't you rather do some other job?” your mother always asked you. 
No, you didn't want to do anything else. And you were going to prove it to everybody.
You became a sucker for Joel’s attention in no time.
Whatever type he wanted to give to you. 
As you progressed and learned, he became gentler, too much so at times. 
Grazing your knee under the table at meetings, touching your waist way too much as you walked down the hallways talking about some projects, playfully slapping your ass once, after successfully signing your first contract with a client.
It was becoming a relationship that other colleagues didn't have to notice.
He was your mentor, your inspiration, the person who had taken you under his wing and taught you to fly.
Along with the desire to do well, however, something else grew in you over time.
Arousal, desire, need. 
It lingered in the air while you were trying to flap your wings and stay aloft.
_______________________________
“Furthermore…” his voice dropped and deepened, “we don’t tolerate this kind of language here.”
A shiver ran down your spine at the clear change in his voice. 
You knew what he was doing. 
And you liked it.
“Well, I’m sorry but there’s no other appropriate word to describe that person” you chirped.
You didn’t drop the asshole just to have this, you really hated the man with all you had, this was just a pleasant collateral damage. 
Joel being angry at you. 
Joel who wanted to punish you.
He ran a hand over his mustache, looking at you as if he wanted to devour you.
You felt your clit throb in anticipation.
He stood up from his chair, he was imposing, broad shoulders and awe-inspiring piercing eyes.
“Let me explain it to you properly. I don't care if he didn't meet your moral dictates, I don't give a damn if he was so obnoxious that he made you sick to your stomach, okay?” his voice was a thin, cold, steady blade.
“Yes, Mr. Miller” you swallowed, without breaking eye contact. “You acted like a whiny child,” he stated. “ And you made me lose a ton of money” 
His heavy step creaked faintly on the fine parquet floor. He was towering over you.
“Yeah, you said that already,” you rolled your eyes.
You would have sworn you were hearing Joel’s blood simmering in his veins and that was exactly what you wanted. 
“Do you think criminal lawyers like to defend murderers? Do you think they like their clients?” 
“No,” you muttered 
“Yeah, they don’t like them but they do it anyway because it's their job.” 
That was a little extreme example but he did make a point.
You were torn. 
Disappointing your mentor was the last thing you wanted but seeing him like that, ready to give  you a lesson was making you horny like nothing else. 
You craved it. 
“Do you know what they used to do to wayward children like you?” 
You could feel the warmth of his body with how close he had gotten.
“Yeah.” 
His eyes looked like onyx stones.
“Say it.” “They spanked them,” you finally let out.
“Yeah. You’re goddamn right, darling. They spanked them.” His words were a sheet of ice on which you couldn't wait to slide.
“Bend over the desk.” 
“No,” you tried to argue.
“I. Said. Bend.” He ordered, punctuating every word.
You raised an eyebrow, glaring at him, but finally gave in. 
You approached the desk, rested your elbows on it and jostled your ass out, poised on your heels. 
He positioned himself behind you, you turned to look at him, and he immediately hissed, 
"Eyes to the wall, missy." 
You huffed, returning your gaze to the large painting hanging behind the desk. 
His hands slid down your legs. 
It was the first time he touched you, the first time you felt his strong grip on your body, the first time his warmth penetrated your flesh.
“You really disappointed me today.” His voice was calm, low, but full of disgruntlement.
“I'm sorry,” you whispered. 
“It's not enough,”
His hands had reached the hem of your skirt, raising it dangerously, pulling it up, exposing the edge of your thigh-high stockings and your panties. 
“Do you still think you deserve a place in this agency?” 
Panic welled up inside you, you felt your cheeks on fire and your hands trembling on the wood of the desk. 
You didn't want to lose everything you had worked for. 
Joel wouldn't sign any reference letters for you, you wouldn't get a job at any other agency, and your career would be over before it even started.
You remained stubbornly silent, trying not to be seen as weak, until he blurted out, 
“answer me.”
“Yes. I made a mistake.”
“You’re goddamn right, honey,” he replied wryly.”How will you fix this?”
That honey sounded like a mockery. Like you were still too soft to do the job and be successful at it. 
You hated it and it made your pussy throb at the same time.
“I will find a way, Mr. Miller.”
“We’ll see” he retorted “But you still deserve punishment, don't you think?”
“Yes,” you breathed reluctantly.
You didn’t like to admit that but you couldn’t stop yourself.
You wanted it too much. 
You wanted him too much.
You didn’t hear him fumbling with his pants, no zippers coming undone, no buttons slipping through the buttonhole.
You just felt his breath fanning over your back and his hand gripping at your hips.
You felt his gaze seeping into your flesh. 
You would have liked to turn around, tell him to get it over with and fuck you, but you didn’t. 
You stood still in your turn, feeling the tension bubbling in your chest while he seemed so calm and collected.
He was taking his time with you.
You sighed, just before you felt the air shift behind you and his hand landed deafly on your ass.
You gasped. 
Another slap had hit you. 
Harder than before.
Pain spread all over your butt, tingling, until it turned into a destabilizing pleasure. 
You had never done anything like that before and as disconcerting as it was to admit it, you liked it. 
You liked it like crazy.
You felt a slick of arousal wetting your panties while you moaned.
“Do you want some more?” 
You nodded eagerly. 
“Oh. You gotta use your word, I feel like I taught you that, right?” He tutted. 
“Yes.” You whispered “please” 
Instead of continuing, he walked over to the bar cabinet, poured himself a couple of fingers of whiskey into a glass, sat back down on his leather chair and looked you in the eyes.  
“Get out of here.”
You stood there watching him, hunched over his desk, wood still pressing on your clothed tits, feeling like you were in a fever dream. 
Had it really happened? 
The heat still throbbing on your ass cheek told you it had.
You stood up, straightened your skirt, your darting gaze metaphorically stabbing him. 
He had humiliated you. 
How had you let this happen? And most of all, why did you want more?
You left without looking back.
Pam wasn't at the desk when you left, you slipped out as quickly as possible, with one fixed thought in mind. 
______________
The next few days he ignored you. He started following another girl who had just arrived and he was behaving the way he had with you. 
Jealousy had never been a vice of yours. Never. But seeing him chuckle at her jokes, praise her for her efforts, smile at her, start calling her by her name like he had done with you made you furious.
It squeezed your chest in a cruel fist.
You had worked on the presentation for a market-leading make-up client, and fortunately for you, the CEO had been enthusiastic about your ideas.
You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much he was hurting you but despite the persistence with which you tried, you grew so hungry for him that all you were thinking about was finding a way to make him furious again. 
To get punished again. You hated having fallen for his game, but by now you were a fish seeking oxygen in the mesh of the fishing net.
You were trying to get his attention in every way without success.
At the peak of your desperation, you had passed an embarrassing number of times in front of his office in the hope that he would come out.
You kept meeting only Pam bringing coffee, folders or Joel's personal correspondence.
After a week she no longer seemed surprised to find you there, there was a kind of understanding in her gaze, a muted feminine solidarity, an ill-concealed displeasure.
“Honey, why do you do this to yourself?” she seemed to say.
You didn’t care. Your pussy didn’t care either.
______________
One day, when you saw Pam pass in the hallways during the lunch break, you decided to do something.
You couldn’t take it anymore.
You had gotten up deliberately exclaiming, “Oh, I really need a coffee!” And you had pretended to head for the common room. At last you had turned the opposite corner and snuck into the hallway that led to Joel's office. You had to hurry.
You slipped inside in an instant and found yourself in front of the imposing door that led to the office of the object of your desires.
He was talking to someone on the phone, you could clearly hear his voice but none in response.
When he finished, you opened the door and entered, full of doubts and fears but the same moved by a disruptive urge you couldn't say no to.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Joel's rough voice greeted you. “I came to see my mentor,” you whispered. ”And to tell him that tomorrow we will sign the contract with the make-up company.”
You smiled, waiting for his reaction.
He demolished you immediately in response, 
“So? What do you want, a golden star? A kiss on the forehead?”
He raised an eyebrow mockingly staring at you.
“No, I just wanted to let you know,” you countered in a voice far too resentful for your taste.
You were turning on your heels to leave when you heard his voice say, 
“What is the real reason you are here?”
You turned again and looked at him. 
Elbows rested on the desk, the sleeves of the white shirt he wore rolled up to leave his muscular forearms exposed, rolling the platinum ring he wore on his middle finger around, his straight shoulders wrapped in the fabric that seemed to contain his broadness with difficulty, the first few buttons left open giving you a glimpse of a few freckles on his bronze chest. 
The posture of the boss judging you, sitting comfortably in his leather chair, a smirk plastered on his face, a defiant expression in his eyes. 
He was both sultry and irritating. 
You wanted to slap him but also take off your panties and sit on his cock. 
To be honest, you wanted to do both at the same time.
“You walked in here without asking Pam,” he noted amusedly, looking at you as if he could read your mind “What were you trying to do?” “Nothing,” you lied, fidgeting with a button on your shirt. “Just my job”
“I think you were trying to get on my nerves,” he suggested
You scoffed “You think you’re the center of my universe?”
“You’re the one in my office right now. Say what you want. Or leave. But I think you want to stay, am I right? Your pussy wants it.” 
You were speechless, totally caught off guard. 
“What do you need, darling?” He urged you, walking towards you. 
He raised a hand reaching for your cheek, brushing it with his thumb. 
His voice softened slightly, the knot in your stomach tightened. 
It felt manipulative. 
But also arousing when he gently pulled your lower lip open and grazed it with the pads of his fingers. 
He grabbed your chin and tilted your head to face him. 
His gaze was authoritative, demanding but also sweet, like he was trying to get you convinced that he was a good guy, just eager to give you something you wanted so much that you showed up uninvited to his office. 
“Punish me,” you breathed as he was sliding his fingers down your neck. 
“See? It wasn’t so difficult. This was all I needed to know,” he chuckled softly, right after grabbing you by the waist, gentleness instantly out of the menu, pulling up your skirt to expose your ass. 
“You want me to spank you again, am I right?” 
Your voice came out husky and broken, you only managed to mumble a “yes”, the most desperate yes you’ve ever said in your life. 
“That's what I was thinking,” he groaned
His hands were roaming your thighs “Hold-ups. Of course. You’re the target for that Agent Provocateur campaign we launched last month, aren't you?”
You would have laughed if you could but you felt his fingers graze the wet, sticky stain spreading across your panties and you gasped instead. 
And then his hand crushed on your ass cheek, his ring marked your skin, pain spreading across your skin, immediately replaced by an unbearable heat. 
It made you feel alive. 
You had his attention again.
One, two, three spanks burned your flesh, you could clearly feel a trickle of pleasure flowing out of you.
“How dare you come into my office just to provoke me? Don’t you know who I am? Huh, little slut?” 
“Yes,” you muttered. “yes Mr Miller but…” 
You had started this, you would have liked to say. 
You were the one flirting first. 
You were the one leading me to want you, this, always. 
Another slap hit you and you said nothing instead. You just moaned. 
A knock on the door stopped Joel in his tracks.
He froze with his hand high up in the air. 
“Who is it?” He asked nervously. 
He still held you tightly by the waist, you tried to wriggle free from his grip without success.
“It’s Pam,” her voice came muffled from outside the door. 
“Fuck” you whispered, you instantly looked around in panic for a place to hide. 
Not the bookcase, or the bar cabinet or the nice leather couch and armchair that were placed in front of it.
There was only one option.
“Get off of me,” you hissed “now!” 
Joel let go of you and you quickly cowered under the desk.
He sat down and spread his legs just enough to give you room as he moved his chair as close to the edge as he could.
“Come in” he ordered, trying to regain his composure. 
Pam cracked the door open and entered the office. 
You couldn’t see her but you could hear her light footsteps approaching the desk and her voice saying “I brought Mrs. Jones’ presentation that you wanted to review, Mr. Miller” 
“Oh. Thanks Pam” 
You could clearly hear the underlying nervousness in Joel’s voice and it was starting to make you laugh. 
You decided that since he was playing dirty you would do the same.
Your hand slowly moved up his pants, grazing his ankle, then his shin, up his thigh, until it reached his crotch.
Joel was desperately trying to hide his squirming as he examined the work of his new protégé. The one he was trying to replace you with.
It was delicious to feel him like that, helpless, harmless for once, totally at your mercy as you moved your hand up and down over his clothed cock that was desperately straining against the zipper. 
Pam didn't move, waiting for him to finish evaluating the project, only her regular breathing told you of her presence.
You liked the risk, the thrill of being discovered that ran under your skin. 
You could do more. 
Slowly, your fingers closed on the metal tag of Joel’s zipper. 
You pulled it down, while Joel tried to hide the noise with a cough. 
You pushed aside the flaps of his pants, pulling down his boxers to free his cock. He was hard in front of you. 
Thick, pink and darker at the tip, pulsing veins ran along the shaft that was slightly curved to the right.
Little drops of pre cum dripped onto his skin, making your mouth water. 
It was perfect and you had to have it. Right there and then.
You kitten-licked the underside where a white pearly bead was sliding, catching it with your tongue. 
Joel squirmed visibly on his chair, you couldn’t see it but you imagined his eyebrows shutting up and his lips twisting. 
You smiled in the heavy and heated air under the desk.
You hoped Pam would go away, but at the same time you were intrigued by putting Joel through the wringer without him being able to make any fumbling movements to stop you.
You held his cock in your hand, it throbbed in your palm, and a musky smell filled your nostrils. The smell of sex. 
You didn’t resist and licked again, more greedily, its flavor spread over your tongue. 
It was driving you crazy.
You felt his whole body stiffen as he sent his secretary away 
“That's all for now Pam, thank you. Tell the team to refine the graphics and report to Ms. Jones that the idea may work but the slogan is a bit weak, I want more ideas for next week ”
He had tried to maintain a professional tone, but his voice cracked mid-sentence, and you could only be mischievously proud of that.
As soon as Pam came out he yanked up his pants and wrapped a hand around your wrist dragging you out of your hiding place. 
“You dirty slut, what were you trying to do?" he rattled off. 
He had you standing up and trapped you against his chest, his half-dressed erection pressing hard against your ass.
His hand closed on your wrist hurt but you didn't care, you liked being manhandled like that.
You weren’t even intimidated anymore, just feral. 
Unhinged, eager, completely drunk on him.
“I thought you liked some action under the desk, Mr Miller” you replied, sneering without shame. 
“Oh you’re so thoughtful, aren’t you?” He barked, shoving you on the desk again.
“Yes I am.” You have never been so cheeky before, you were quite surprised and proud of yourself.
“No, you aren’t, darling”
With that, he pushed you onto the desk, your breasts pressed against the perfectly polished wood and his hands running to your skirt to hastily tug it down. 
It was like Deja vu.
The best type of.
He moved to lock the door.
“Hands on the desk, darling. And you better not take them out of there” 
He took off his tie, placed it on the desk and walked over.
His authoritative voice sent a rush of arousal straight to your pussy. 
He pulled down your panties, making you walk out of them and throwing them on the floor.
His hand grazed your folds, lightly at first and then he covered your whole sex and squeezed, sending a rush of adrenaline into your system 
“First time doing it? Getting fucked by your boss? Mh?”
“Yes” you breathed “I’ve never done anything like this before”
”You think you earned it?” 
“Yes”
He had withdrawn his hand from your pussy and placed both of them on your thighs.
“Bold of you. And I've already told you, you have to learn to speak properly. Yes, what?” His hands were gripping on your flesh so hard you were sure you'd end up with bruises.
“Yes, please” you whispered. “You think you deserve me giving attention to your pussy, huh?” 
His voice was low and raspy, almost like a subdued roar.
“Yes, please. Sir.” You added, emphasizing this last word.
“That's the way I like it, you're starting to learn. Turn around” You got up from the desk and he pushed you to sit on the edge, your bare pussy leaking on the surface. 
He slipped his hands down your thighs, over your bottom, up your back, stopping at the sides of your breasts. His thumbs rubbed your nipples through your shirt and lacy bra while he held you trapped between his body and the desk, standing between your open legs.
Your naked pussy throbbed against his pants, you could feel it dripping over the fabric, making a mess. He slipped his hand between the two of you, touching your folds with the pads of his fingers, up and down gathering more and more of your arousal and spreading it all over on your lips and clit. You tried hard to stifle your moans but a low husky one escaped your lips as you were rocking your hips against his hand.
“Look what I’m doing to your pussy.” He ordered while he started flicking your bundle of nerves. You looked down at his hand moving obscenely over your pussy, two of his thick fingers sliding inside you, his ring right out that was getting wet with you. You gasped loudly at the sensation when he curled them up just right, reaching for your special spot. “Be quiet” he had warned you off “either that or I’ll stop immediately” “No!” You wailed. “No, what?” He barked grasping your neck with his free hand 
You looked at yourself in his pitch black eyes, losing yourself in that deep darkness.
A taunting smile curved his lips. “No, please” you were quick to correct yourself “That’s right” his hand lightly squeezed your pulse point. “Undo my shirt, now” Your fingers were moving awkwardly over the buttons, trying to unfasten them while he continued to move his fingers inside you.
His skin, unveiled before your eyes, was almost too much to bear: golden and dotted with freckles that you wanted to lick one by one.
He smelled like whiskey and mint and a distinctive something that was only his, filling your nostrils, awakening every molecule of that secret part of you that was a slave for him.
Once you reached the last one you were so worked up you were almost on your brink, Joel noticed that right away and stopped, taking away his hand from your pussy. You whined in disappointment and he retorted 
“You don’t get to complain, darling” accompanying his words with a slap on your right tit “we clear?” “Yes, sir. I’m sorry” you breathed, feeling the pain spread all over your chest.
A rush of adrenaline made you quiver against his hot body.
He put his wet fingers in your mouth. “Clean them up, darling” And you did, you thoroughly swirled your tongue all over them, licking till the last drop, going feral for the taste of you and the way he pushed them through your lips, up to his knuckles.
“Good job”
He took off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. He shifted, moving you in front of him.
“Kneel. Show me how sorry you are for complaining” You kneeled right away, moving your hand over his pants, stroking the underline of his cock. “What do you want?” “Your cock” you purred “Ask nicely” he told you, totally unfazed by your attempt to bribe him
“Can I please pull your cock out, sir?” You would have looked up to anyone, but the power it exerted over you at that point was unmanageable and devoured you.
His onyx eyes were fixed on you, pinning you down to the ground, like he was holding your entire being in his fist. 
You couldn’t ask for anything more.
“Go ahead”
You hastily pulled down his pants and boxers, he stepped out of them and kicked them away.
You took his shaft back into your hand, licking the tip first, coating it in your saliva, until it was glistening and pulsing right before your eyes again.
You slid it in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks, savoring his musky flavor, licking him like a lollipop, like the most delicious ice cream you’ve ever had.
“That’s what a good girl does,” he praised you “she fills her pretty mouth with a nice cock, just like that” You relaxed your jaw to take all that you could of him in your mouth.
His fingers reached for the back of your head, holding you possessively 
“Go on, miss, I know you want it, don’t you? You would like my cum on your tongue, huh?” You hummed against his shaft, even more eager for him.
You tried to brush your fingers on your clit, searching for some relief from the throbbing heated mess you felt between your thighs but he scolded you 
“Nuh huh, girl, don’t you dare. You don’t get to come until I say it” You whined, reluctantly moving your hand away.
You kept sucking on his cock, devouring every inch of him with purpose, messy and sloppy, thin trades of your saliva running onto his length to his balls. 
You swirled on the tip before sliding down to them and taking one in your mouth, greedily sucking on it. 
He was granite that crumbled slightly at your every touch, trying to hold back the grunts that vibrated in his throat, trying not to close his eyes so as not to get lost in every lap of your tongue. He tried not to give you any satisfaction but at the same time his body betrayed him, letting slip how much he wanted all of that. And you. 
At his brink, he stopped you, manhandling you back on the desk, tearing away your shirt making every single button pop out and yanking at your bra to expose your nipples. 
His lips closed on one of your hard rock buds and sucked it avidly. You were a whimpering mess, whining under your breath “please sir, fuck me” 
He grazed your nipple with his teeth, running a finger through your folds. 
“Look at you, darling, so hungry for my cock your pussy is weeping,  your body is shaking…” 
With one hand he yanked the papers off the desk, a shower of paper clips followed the sheets to the floor along with a stapler and the golden tag with his name engraved on it.
“Lie down” he hissed 
You lay on the desk, obscenely open and throbbing for him, a raw uncontrollable heat flowing through your body. 
“Please” you cried. 
He grabbed your legs and placed them on his shoulders, holding you tightly by your ankles.
“You’re so fucking beautiful like this” he said tapping his cock on your folds and sliding it through them, before starting to enter you agonizingly slow. 
“Mmm feel how good she’s stretching, darling, your tight little pussy’s all full of me” 
“Yes, sir” 
“Say: thank you, sir” 
“Thank you, sir” 
It was all inside you and your pussy was swallowing it hungrily.
He started thrusting into a steady rhythm, slowly at first, like tidal waves hitting you, ripples on a blank shore caressing your special spot, and then stronger, faster, like thunderstorm on the ocean, high dangerous waves making you see stars. 
His huge cock shifting and brushing against your drenched walls, sinking into you again and again. 
Your moans bounced around the room like an echo, mixing with squelching sounds of his dick slamming into you, making you his. 
“Yes, baby, you’re doing so good for me” he whispered “come here”. 
He grabbed you and held you close to his chest, making your legs parting some more, reaching for another angle that made you feel him even deeper. 
His moustache brushed along your jawline, lowering on your neck, his lips sucking on your pulse point.
“Look at you, dripping on my desk,” he muttered softly, his voice reverberating on your skin. 
The impossible pace became too much to bear when his hand moved from your hips to your clit, his thumb brushing on it. 
He looked you in the eyes, feral and assertively “you want to come, huh? Make a mess all over my cock?” 
“Yes.” You cried, seeing the wreck that you were reflecting in his deep brown eyes “yes, please sir I need it” 
“Then come, baby” he said, increasing the pressure on your clit and pushing into you like it was a matter of life or death. 
That was all you needed to hear. 
You broke the dams that still kept you anchored to reality and flooded his cock, squirting all over his desk, a complete and utter disaster disheveled and exhausted. 
The fine wood of his desk was probably ruined forever but he didn't seem to care in the slightest, he pumped into you, grabbing your neck and hair until he spurted all of him into your cunt. 
You felt it warm and sticky, painting your walls, making you full like you’ve never been before. 
He slipped out a moment later, caressing your cheeks and praising you.
You got up from his desk and clung to his neck, pulling him into a long, deep kiss, tilting your head as you felt his tongue play with yours.
“Thank you” you murmured against his lips, smiling softly “And by the way, I’m on the pill”
“I know. I saw you take it the other day in the conference room before the meeting started” he said, while adjusting his trousers and taking a clean shirt from a desk drawer.
“Get out of here, naughty girl” 
“Well, you destroyed my blouse…” you said, picking up the garment from the floor.
“Here, take mine” 
You put on his shirt, too big for you, trying to tuck it under your skirt so it was less noticeable how long it was. He helped you by rolling up your sleeves, barely touching your skin, but enough to make you feel a shiver down your spine. 
“mmm sexy,” he said when he stopped to look at you.
“Let’s try not to make this a habit” he smirked, giving you another playful slap on your ass cheek “We can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
“Why not?” You winked right before going out the door. 
You could smell him on you and it drove you crazy. You already knew that you would use his shirt to sleep that very night and for many nights to come.
Once outside the door, Pam looked at you over her glasses, raised an eyebrow, and for the first time you saw a little smile curve her lips.
tag list for this one: @baronessvonglitter @milla-frenchy @thundermartini @probablyreadinsmut @almostempty @gothcsz @harriedandharassed
archive tag: @pedrostories Let me know if you want to be added or removed, I'll do it right away.
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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 1 year ago
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Spellbound
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you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone
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synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.
status// finished!
updates// everyday unless said otherwise
warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!
☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆
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you might be the only one
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might be the only one for me
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feeling 1. young and stupid
feeling 2. child of divorce
feeling 3. no schedule just vibes
feeling 4. six feet under
feeling 5. this is my fight song
feeling 6. success rate
feeling 7. lone wolf
feeling 8. dumpster fire
feeling 9. retail therapy
feeling 10. be normal
feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated
feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl
feeling 13. exorcism
feeling 14. shut ur up
feeling 15. winner
feeling 16. hip hip hooray
feeling 17. swiped right!
feeling 18. silly little mystery
feeling 19. for no reason
feeling 20. i guess so
feeling 21. sigh of relief
feeling 22. relationship territory
feeling 23. don’t hmu
feeling 24. major in loser
feeling 25. fight club
feeling 26. jigsaw
feeling 27. ghosting
feeling 28. cold shoulder
feeling 29. before marriage
feeling 30. meant to be
feeling 31. a hunch
feeling 32. survival of the fittest
feeling 33. he knows
feeling 34. so close yet so far
feeling 35. (disrespectfully)
feeling 36. regressing
feeling 37. take pity
feeling 38. telepathy
feeling 39. betrayed
feeling 40. two birds with one stone
feeling 41. dead end
feeling 42. mass hysteria
feeling 43. an apology
feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love
feeling 45. psychological warfare
feeling 46. jealous
feeling 47. a facade
feeling 48. learning to coexist
feeling 49. with you
feeling 50. useless E information
feeling 51. good idea
feeling 52. break the peace
feeling 53. enjoy the peace
feeling 54. revenge
feeling 55. tolerable
feeling 56. catastrophic
feeling 57. fumbled
feeling 58. easier than you think
feeling 59. no downtime
feeling 60. caught red handed
feeling 61. for good
feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi
feeling 63. delicate
feeling 64. best bet
feeling 65. valid question
feeling 66. devils incarnate
feeling 67. patience is a virtue
feeling 68. grow and change as a person
feeling 69. megumi truthers
feeling 70. knock on wood
feeling 71. come find me
feeling 72. cryptic
feeling 73. more than aware
feeling 74. see the future
feeling 75. trying to be nice
feeling 76. why do you hate me
feeling 77. knight in shining armor
feeling 78. perfect paradox
feeling 79. idgaf war
feeling 80. stay like this forever
feeling 81. baby bird
feeling 82. found your way back
feeling 83. heart racing
feeling 84. loverboy activities feeling 85. megumi this megumi that feeling 86. protect you feeling 87. flirt back feeling 88. wingmen feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations feeling 90. more broken feeling 91. gets shirtless again feeling 92. 1 new message!
feeling 93. protecting your peace
feeling 94. tired of waiting
last feeling. a kiss and a fight
epilogue/bonus feeling. spy
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unreversedumbrella · 7 months ago
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One of my favourite ritsu moments was when he first met the awakening lab kids and started to just bitch about them in his mind - is that all you can do, says guy who cant do anything
Not only is his polite on the outside bitch on the inside behaviour really funny, it makes a lot of sense character wise
From his perspective psychic powers are about leveling entire city blocks so of course he's going to belittle the guy who struggles to bend a spoon
But they DO have powers while he doesn't. So he needs to belittle them. he can't make fire out of nothing but a lighter is better than the other guy. He doesn't have telepathy, but a cellphone is better than whatever those twins have. A 60% success rate? That's nothing (even though it's way better than the game's actual odds)
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thewritetofreespeech · 1 year ago
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Could I request the seven brothers who makes cute faces when she spaces out or is deep in thought?
Lucifer
He thinks it’s adorable.
Lucifer isn’t a very expressive person, so he finds it amusing how every expression is played on their face.
It’s also much easier to guess what they are thinking about when their ‘heart’ is on their sleeve.
Mammon
Couldn’t tell what someone was thinking or feeling if it was written on their forehead.
He of course notices that they make faces, but thinks it’s just a weird human thing and not unique to s/o
Typical Mammon puts his foot in his mouth by commenting on it often. Making s/o embarrassed, and then him out in the proverbial cold for a bit.
Levi
Also not good at telling what people are feeling, but he is actually good at reading expressions (probably from all those emoji games he plays).
Finds it helpful since his social cues are non-existent. He can sort of pick up on the moment this way, rather than just being totally awkward.
His success rate is only about 60% but he’s working on improving his stats.
Satan
Notices right away but chooses not to comment on it in order to deduce what it’s all about.
Being the inner detective that he is, Satan quickly learns what their facial expressions are about and what they signify.
Within a few weeks he almost has a full map of what they are feeling based on advanced physiognomy. He’s even written it down as a reference guide somewhere in his books; carefully hidden away as he would die if s/o found it.
Asmo
Everything s/o does is cute, but this is one of the cutest.
Every little furrow of their brow, purse of their lips, crinkle of their nose, sends Asmo into an emoting fit of love. He just can’t help how adorable it is!
He does feel the need to comment on making sure they relax their face, lest they get pre-mature wrinkles.
Beel
Beel hardly notices it.
Unless they tell him they are thinking about something, their facial expressions go right over his head.
The super cute ones make it through, as Beel has a soft spot for cute things, but they have to be really cute for him to notice. We’re talking instant cavity sweet adorable here.
Belphie
He’s not the detective that Satan is, but Belphie is pretty observant. He has to be to make sure he doesn’t run into walls half asleep.
He notices the expressions but doesn’t comment on them as he’s scared that they would stop if he mentioned it.
Like Satan, he uses them as a gauge for how they are feeling or thinking to respond accordingly. Oddly enough he has the highest success rate of guesses. Although, he participates in the guessing the least. So there is that.
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