#6 months to go till final exams

[devotedlystrangewizard]

that point when u cant stop doing things you like doing not because of executive dysfunction but just because youve been pushed past your breaking point and now everything but your special interests bothers you ahaha

[valleyof-goldenlilies]

Se Zaldrizoti’ Prumia - Chapter 8: The Woes of Womanhood (Daemon Targaryen x Tyrell!Reader)

Chapter 8: The Woes of Womanhood

With the return of Prince Daemon, and Princess Rhaenyra, the Red Keep braces itself for the inevitable implosion of scandal once more.

Se Zaldrīzoti' Prūmia Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 |

HOTD Masterlist | Main Masterlist | 

Warnings: Nothing of note, except longgg chapter ahead. Alicent, Daemon and Rhaenyra interactions ahead!

Word Count: 7.1k

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire and Blood characters, save for Y/N Tyrell, although I did expand on their characterisation, which might deviate from canon. All credit for the characters goes to George RR Martin and the showrunners of HOTD. The GIF above is also not mine, original credit to the creator is stated above. Go check them out! 

A/N: hello all! i'm sorry for this very late and much needed update to se zaldrizoti' prumia, which is why this chapter is longer than usual haha. my exams are finally over and i'm on break now, so i will be devoting myself to writing more all the way till school starts again.

also: i added in an extra rhaenyra and reader interaction at the end of chapter 7. it's not crucial to the understanding of the plot, but it does explain why rhaenyra is significantly more civil with the reader in this chapter, so do check it out :) if you're lazy to go back and read it, here's a separate post i made of it! happy reading!

p.s. check the a/n at the end for some future plans I have for this fic :)

lovely dividers credited to @firefly-graphics !

109 years after Aegon’s Conquest, 5 months later 

The persistent cries of a babe echoed throughout the Queen’s chambers, and the wet nurses and nannies watched with pity as Alicent attempted to soothe a wailing Helaena, to no success. “Shh, it’s alright, Helaena. Don’t fuss, please,” Alicent implored softly, looking a little close to tears herself. 

The doors to the nursery opened quietly, and you stepped in, concern etched on your face upon hearing all the crying. The skirts of your dark red gown swished as you walked, alerting the people in the room to your presence. Stark relief was painted on their faces as you walked over to Alicent and she handed Helaena wordlessly over to you. You adjusted Helaena in your arms, cooing at her softly, “There, there, little princess. Ry iksos sȳrī, dōna dārilaros.” Gradually, Helaena started to calm down, staring up at you with wide purple eyes as you sang a soft lullaby in Valyrian to her. When her eyelids finally fluttered shut, you gently placed her back in the cradle, rocking her a few more times for good measure. 

Alicent was sitting in her bedchambers adjoining the nursery, head bent, looking weary. Nonetheless, she shot you a smile as you entered the room quietly, moving to pour her a cup of tea. “I fear sometimes I would be bereft without you” Alicent’s voice was soft, as you walked over to her, handing her the cup of tea. “I would feel like a hollow shell without you.” 

“Don’t say things like that,” you comforted her, “You know you’re doing the best you can.” “And yet, I can barely soothe mine own daughter who is only five moons old,” Alicent bit her lip, cradling her cup of tea. You could tell from the nervous bobbing of her throat that she wanted to pick at her nails again, which was why you brewed her the cup of tea. She was unable to pick at her nails if she was holding something hot. And so it had become habit for you to hand her a cup of hot tea whenever she was distressed like this. 

“Not everyone is born to be a natural at parenting, Alicent,” you consoled her. “And babes are difficult to understand, much less comfort.” “I am the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, if I cannot even be an adequate mother to my own children, how do I even bear the title of ‘Mother of the Realm’?” Alicent sighed, looking downcast. “My children are more taken with you than they are with me. It is a little disheartening to see.” You inched closer to her, and she placed one of her hands in yours, another holding onto her teacup. You squeezed her hand gently - another strange habit that the two of you had unconsciously developed. It reminded you so much of Rhaenyra, and your thoughts wandered to her, and how she was faring on her marriage tour. 

In truth, apart from Helaena, Alicent was still mulling about the conversation with her father nearly six moons ago. Though Otto had not brought up the subject in earnest again, Alicent had noticed Otto’s visits to her apartments increase over the past few moons. His visits, which were already quite frequent, had built up to a daily occurrence, with Alicent uncomfortably glancing at her father as his green eyes rested on you whilst you bustled around, serving the both of them or soothing Alicent's children. Alicent was compelled to do something, anything, to warn you of her father’s deepening interest in you, but with Helaena’s birth and her still acclimating to the duties of a Queen, as well as her uncertainty over her father’s intentions, she had kept mum. 

“You know,” Alicent’s voice startled you out of your train of thoughts. “You would make a great mother someday. Should you wish to marry, of course.” “Are you chasing me away from your service, my Queen?” you teased her playfully. Alicent’s eyes widened with panic, “Oh no, I was just mentioning- since you are wonderful with Helaena and Aegon and-” You squeezed her hand lightly, “I was just jesting, Alicent. I know you meant it as a compliment.” Alicent’s shoulders loosened slightly, as she laughed. “Oh. Forgive me, Y/N. My mind was occupied. But I really do mean it, you know,” she said earnestly. You smiled at her, though it did not reach your eyes. Your thoughts were still consumed by the conversation you had with your father at the Kingswood. The past six moons have been devoid of any correspondence from your father, something you would have greatly relished all those moons ago. Yet now, it only served to make you feel like you were on the edge of a cliff, unsure when you would plummet. You shook it off, not wanting to feel the unpleasant crawling feeling under your skin whenever you thought about your father. 

“In truth,” you began quietly, “I already am a mother.” Alicent looked puzzled. “I do not know whether I will be fated to be a mother of my own children in this lifetime, but in my view, you are like a daughter to me, Alicent. So in a way, I already am a mother.” Alicent’s eyes grew misty, as she said quietly, “I feel you are akin to a mother to me as well, Y/N. Words cannot express my gratitude towards you for your guidance over the past few years.” You smiled, moving to brush one of Alicent’s loose strands of hair out of the way. 

The both of you were interrupted by the sound of a soft knock at the door as another lady-in-waiting of Alicent’s, Lady Eliza Butterwell, a shy maid of fourteen entered the room and curtsied. 

“I apologise for the disturbance, Your Grace. But the King has called for the court to gather in the throne room.” Alicent’s brows furrowed. “Whatever for?” Her next words shot an odd thrill through you, one that you haven’t felt in several years. “Prince Daemon has returned to King’s Landing on Caraxes, Your Grace. With a crown.” 

The way to the throne room was swarmed with courtiers, but you were fortunate enough to find yourself as one of the spectators at the front. You caught a few faint whispers as you walked into the throne room, "Daemon..." "The Triarchy, all dead..." "The Myrish have never been more humiliated!" "At last, my ships can travel through the shipping lanes without fear of being attacked again..."

You played with the rings on your fingers nervously as you watched Viserys sit himself on the throne, his expression brooding. He afforded you a small nod when he glimpsed you in the crowd, to which you replied with a small bow of your head. Your eyes were so busy watching the entrance however, that you failed to notice the watchful gaze of Otto Hightower on you. His gaze soon turned away when Viserys caught him looking at you, his lips pressed together. 

It all came to an end however, as the crowd quieted, and the distant clink of armour could be heard. Your eyes were narrowed and your eyebrows furrowed as Daemon swaggered into the hall. Your eyes were drawn to his now shortened hair, and a crude makeshift of a crown seated upon his head. You could sense a change in him, and not just in appearance. 

Your lips turned downwards as Daemon sauntered too close to the throne, and was met with the sword of a Kingsguard to his abdomen. The fool. Your eyes narrowed even further when Daemon lifted a beaten hammer at Viserys, seemingly in challenge. 

“Add it to the chair.” A loud clatter reverberated through the room as Daemon dropped the hammer on the floor with a flourish. You had to bite back a smile. The years have not tempered his flair for the dramatics. 

The tension was palpable between the two brothers as Viserys stared at his brother, trying to decipher his true motives. “You wear a crown. Do you also call yourself King?” “Once we smashed the Triarchy, they named me: King of the Narrow Sea.” So they really did prevail in the end. You smiled slightly to yourself. Of course Daemon would miraculously manage to reverse the odds. But you felt bolts of alarm going off in your head as you registered Daemon’s words. The fool, is he meaning to challenge the King? Has war clobbered him such that he has lost all his wits? 

“But I know that there is only one true king, Your Grace.” You loosened a subtle sigh of relief as Daemon genuflected in front of Viserys, taking his crown off. “My crown and the Stepstones are yours, Your Grace.” 

The court watched with bated breath, as Viserys rose from the throne, climbing down the steps and standing before Daemon. 

Daemon registered a movement at the corner of his eye, and turned to meet the distrusting glare of Otto Hightower, which Daemon returned with equal venom. So, the leech still lives. How unfortunate. His gaze then trailed over to a familiar figure clad in dark red. 

You.

Violet eyes met yours, and he let his eyes trail lazily over your figure. He noted the coil of tension in your muscles as you observed the proceedings. His lips quirked up into a smirk, and you narrowed your eyes at him, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. Daemon noticed, concealing a chuckle, which seemed wholly inappropriate at this moment. He directed his gaze back to Viserys, staring back at him unflinchingly as he scrutinised Daemon for any ill intent. Brother, really? Daemon wanted to scoff when he saw Viserys glance at that cunt of a Hand. Do you distrust me so? 

“Rise.” Daemon got to his feet, looking at Viserys as he clapped a tentative hand on Daemon’s shoulder. He has grown more haggard through the years, Daemon noted with concern, his eyes trailing discreetly to the leather gloves Viserys now wore. Has marriage not been treating you well, brother? What have those cunts done to you while I was gone?  

You applauded with the rest of the court as Viserys swept Daemon into a stiff, but genuine brotherly embrace. A smile tugged at your lips as you watched Viserys escort Daemon out of the throne room, and Daemon shot you an arrogant smirk as he passed you. Subconsciously, you felt the lightest you had been in these three years.

It was a refreshingly cool day and the air was abound with a celebratory mood as the court gathered in the gardens for the “small” feast heralding Daemon’s return. Dressed in a cream gown with a ruffled off the shoulder overlay, your gauzy dusky orange skirt overlay billowed slightly in the cool breeze. Your cream skirt was embroidered with gold swirls faintly reminiscent of roses, which matched the golden belt inlaid with seven large rubies Viserys had gifted to you recently. A golden rose dangling off a chain hooked on the belt glittered in the sunlight. 

Viserys was holding court in your small party of four, consisting of you, Alicent, Daemon and him. Otto stood away at a respectful distance, likely out of disdain for Daemon than by choice. 

“No, no, no, no, I will not revisit this debate. You were always Mother’s favourite,” Viserys declared heartily. His gloved hands were resting on both Daemon and your shoulders, as he chattered to Alicent happily. “Our mother, she had no regard for customs, traditions or rules. And I sadly, was no great warrior.” Viserys sighed as you and Daemon shared an amused glance. “Lady Primrose was always partial to you though, brother,” Daemon pointed out. Viserys chuckled, “That’s because you nearly drove the poor woman up the wall with your antics. Or should I say, the both of you did,” he wagged a finger at the both of you, expression accusatory yet his eyes were smiling and full of warmth. 

You and Daemon exchanged identical smirks. “Well, if you weren’t always such an-” you were cut off as Viserys clapped a hand over your mouth, and Daemon sniggered at your indignant expression. “Ah, I thought the passing years would have cooled your temper, Y/N,” Viserys chided. Daemon lifted his eyebrows in mischief, “Indeed, byka zaldrizes. It has been three years, and you are still as hot-headed as ever.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him, “Only because you deserve it, Your Grace.” 

“Now you know why the two of them nearly drove Y/N’s mother to madness when she was raising all three of us,” Viserys laughed to Alicent, whose expression was courteous, yet taut with awkwardness. She felt supremely out of place in the midst of your reminiscing, and you shot her a sympathetic smile. Daemon’s eyes followed your every move, even as he made a jape at his brother, “Come now, brother. Do not absolve yourself of any responsibility. The three of us all had our fair share of rebellion.” “I never said I was absolving myself of any responsibility,” Viserys joked goodnaturedly, clapping Daemon’s shoulder. “Though the fact remains that the two of you made up the bulk of trouble caused in the Red Keep.” 

Your eyes widened slightly when you saw someone enter your conversation. Rhaenyra tried to look subtle as she sidled into the gap between you and Alicent. Viserys didn’t notice, still chattering happily to Daemon, but you saw that Alicent had a similar expression of surprise. 

“Congratulations on your victory,” Rhaenyra smiled warmly at Daemon, seemingly ignorant of the reprimanding glare Viserys was now levelling at the unexpected appearance of his daughter. Viserys released Daemon’s shoulder, moving to take a heavy swig from his goblet. Daemon shot you a look that clearly said: whatever happened here? You discreetly tilted your head in a ‘I’ll explain later’ motion, and Daemon redirected his attention back to Rhaenyra. “Thank you, Princess.” 

The ensuing silence had never felt more painful. “Perhaps Prince Daemon would care for a tour of the gallery? He hasn’t yet seen the new tapestries gifted to you by Norvos and Qohor.” You bit your bottom lip at Alicent’s very obvious attempt to thaw the stifling atmosphere between the five of you, and at Viserys’ mocking expression of disbelief and concentration. “Would you like to see the tapestries?” Viserys could barely contain his mirth, and Daemon had tilted his head downward to muffle his laughter, while you looked disapprovingly at the two of them. “He has no interest in such things!” Viserys guffawed, clapping Daemon’s shoulder, oblivious to Alicent’s crestfallen expression. 

Daemon felt a glare upon him, and he looked up to see your frown as both brothers were in stitches. He smirked at you, clearly amused by your protective mothering of the young Queen. 

Ah, my little rose, caring too much for others, as always. Daemon mused to himself. 

“I’d like to see them.” Viserys’ expression immediately turned into one of barely veiled irritation. “Well then, you should not deprive yourself.” You winced at his snappish tone, as Rhaenyra shot him a cold smile. “I shall enjoy them alone.” 

You were about to excuse yourself to go after her, when Viserys clapped a hand on your shoulder once more, ordering a servant to refill your wine goblet. Alicent gave you a nod which conveyed her understanding, and she excused herself from the group, heading towards the bench where Rhaenyra was brooding after being chastised. Viserys was all too happy to see her go, directing you and Daemon into another conversation about your late mother and Prince Baelon, as well as your shared childhood. 

After a rather taxing conversation with Viserys and Daemon, you managed to excuse yourself as Viserys was occupied with some courtiers eager to curry favour with the King. Heading to the Godswood for some reprieve, you exhaled in relief when you found the clearing to be void of any presence. At long last, some peace. You closed your eyes and felt the summer breeze caress your face gently, smiling happily. 

You heard an infernal clearing of a throat behind you, and you reluctantly turned around to meet Daemon’s twinkling violet eyes, his lips turned up in his signature smirk. 

“Seven Hells, must a lady kill to have some peace for a minute?” you grumbled. Daemon chuckled, moving closer to you. “Having killed as much as I did in the Stepstones, I would say you do not need to resort to such drastic measures, byka zaldrizes.” 

You rolled your eyes in mild frustration, “I suppose it would be far too impolite of me to ask for you to leave me in peace, then?” Daemon smirked as he loomed over you, his eyes scanning you shamelessly again, like he did three years ago in the throne room when you first saw each other after so many years, “Court etiquette would deem it so, byka zaldrizes. But if I recall correctly, you were never one to ask when it came to me.” 

Vexed, you made a beeline for the tables set in the open corridor that was shaded by a trellis creeping with wisteria flowers. Daemon followed, watching you like a hawk as you loaded a plate high with lemon cakes, strawberry tarts, currant compote, gingerbread and figs. Daemon leaned over your shoulder and snatched a strawberry tart from your plate, grinning as you whirled your head around to glare viciously at him.  

You ventured to sit beneath the Godswood tree, setting your plate of treats on the ground, and crossing your legs in an unladylike manner. Daemon smirked as he watched you: this was a familiar sight from your shared childhood. He unhooked his scabbard which Dark Sister was sheathed in from his belt so that he could sit down next to you and lean back against the trunk of the Godswood. He secretly tried to make off with a lemon cake, but you smacked his hand away, causing him to lift his hand to his chest with a wounded expression on his face. You dipped a gingerbread into the currant compote, munching on it. 

“You’ve changed, you know,” Daemon remarked, finally successfully thwarting your attempts to stop him from pillaging from your platter of sweets and lifting a lemon cake to his mouth. You offered him an exasperated look, yet he could detect the faint hint of fondness in your glare. The both of you had been like this since you were children, always sneaking off with lemon cakes and strawberry tarts from the royal kitchens and huddling under the Godswood, giggling and munching on your stolen goods until you were discovered by the servants.

“I could say the same for you,” you eyed his new haircut. “You always used to have a preference for longer hairstyles.” “Well, that was before someone decided to cut off my hair during my sleep once,” Daemon snarked, running his hand through his hair. You snorted, “You can’t still be hung up on that, can you, my Prince?” “How can I forget the only girl who was foolish enough to use Dark Sister in such a manner?” “I believe the word you were looking for was audacious, my Prince,” you smiled winningly at him. Daemon only rolled his eyes, reaching over to snatch the strawberry tart you were holding in your hands, causing you to let out a sound of protest. 

The two of you sat in silence in the Godswood for a while, as you nibbled on your sweet treats. “In all honesty,” Daemon’s head snapped up in interest. “I think I’ve changed little over the years, but so much simultaneously.” You eyed the fig in your hand with despondence, “Do I sound foolish?” 

“Yes,” Daemon answered, causing you to chuck a grape at him, which he caught with annoying ease. “Seven hells, let me finish before you resort to violence, byka zaldrizes. I think you sound foolish, yes, but I happen to think you have changed a great deal. And for the better.” 

You mockingly gaped at his last remark, “A compliment from the Rogue Prince himself? Have the Seven Hells froze over?” Daemon narrowed his eyes, moving to smear currant compote on your gown, but you squealed and darted further from him. “Curb your disbelief, will you?” he scoffed, taking a bite out of his gingerbread dipped in currant compote. “It’s not just the hairstyle I fashion that has changed, you know, byka zaldrizes.” 

“Well,” you mused, “I suppose you do seem changed by your exploits in the Stepstones. More mature, perhaps, to a minute extent.” Daemon raised an eyebrow, “Coming from you, that is high praise, byka zaldrizes.” 

“I thought you might still be irate, or disgruntled after Viserys unnamed you as heir.” Daemon snickered slightly under his breath, remembering how wroth he was when the messenger from his brother came. “Well, they say time heals all wounds, byka zaldrizes.” You smile weakly at the mention of the word ‘time’, recalling your father’s ultimatum. “Let’s hope you can refrain from causing any more trouble this time then.” Daemon’s face twisted unpleasantly, “You mean, if that cunt of a Hand doesn’t decide to slander my name once more.” 

“Speaking of, you seem quite…close to the new queen, hmm?” You heard the displeased edge in Daemon’s voice as he refused to address Alicent by name. How childishly Daemon-like. “I’m her chief lady-in-waiting, Daemon. Is it not natural for me to be close to her?” 

“This is different,” Daemon leaned forward, eyes alight. “You care for the girl, don’t you? Far beyond the limitations of devotion that a lady-in-waiting has for her queen.” You looked at him, unimpressed. “I do not see how that is any of your business, but yes, I do. Alicent is akin to a daughter to me.” 

Daemon gave a snort of gravelly laughter, “You ought be careful, you know. Your maternal instincts might incite some trouble for you some day.” You bristled, “She’s a young girl, Daemon. As someone who is older than her and used to court machinations, I would consider it an obligation to acclimatise her to her new role. Being Queen is no easy feat, you know. Unlike being a Prince.” Daemon smirked, “And yet, you would not be in this position had I not opened your eyes to your fragile political standing a few years ago, did I not?” You rolled your eyes, taking another lemon cake. “If you are expecting some gratitude, I would regret to inform you that your hopes are gravely misplaced.” 

“I never expect anything from you, byka zaldrizes,” his smirk widened as he observed you while you nibbled on the lemon cake. “Truth be told however,” Daemon’s voice carried some genuineness, though he attempted to disguise it, “I am…pleased you took my advice to heart. Not a great many deal of people do.” You were mildly taken aback by how sincere he sounded: perhaps the Rogue Prince had a soft spot after all. “Well, it was sound advice,” you admitted, trying to sound pained. “Which was unexpected, coming from you.” 

“Perhaps you should admit that I’m a better influence than you think I am,” Daemon teased. You rolled your eyes, “Now, now, let’s not get a moment’s victory swell up your ego.” “Oh, I’ve won plenty of victories, byka zaldrizes,” Daemon snarked back, smug, “I dare say I have enough cause to be as proud as I am.” “Says the one who lost in a contest of arms,” you muttered under your breath. Daemon raised an eyebrow, flicking your forehead. “Ow!” you scowled, “What was that for?” 

“A reminder that insolence will not be tolerated in front of your Prince,” he grinned evilly at you. You narrowed your eyes, dipping a finger in the currant compote and moving to smear it on his forehead. Irritatingly, Daemon’s reflexes were much quicker than yours, and he caught your wrist with ease, tugging your hand towards his mouth to lick the compote off your finger while you shrieked. “That’s disgusting!” you sputtered out. Strangely, you felt a warm, rolling sensation at watching Daemon sucking the compote off your finger…however, you soon gagged at the thought. 

Daemon looked pleased with himself as he released your wrist, “I prefer not to let food go to waste.” You huffed, “I was wrong. War has not matured you in the least.” 

“Well, most of the court is terribly lacking in maturity anyway.” Daemon shrugged, leaning back against the trunk again. “Speaking of, how have you been faring in this court of vipers? Has your father finally found someone who is sufficiently tolerant of your impudence to marry you off to yet?” 

Your face visibly fell at his last question, causing Daemon to frown slightly. “Have I misspoke?” Daemon cursed himself after that last question. ‘Why do I care?’ He thought to himself. He studied your dispirited expression. ‘I don’t know why…I can’t stand seeing her like this.’ His memory trailed back to the day of that blasted tourney, where he swore he watched your heart crack into two. 

He never wanted to see that expression grace your face again. 

“The question of…marriage,” you spat out that word with such distaste. “Is a complicated one. My father has given me an ultimatum: I must marry before the year ends, or face being disinherited and disowned by House Tyrell.” Daemon was never a man to be shocked, but now he looked positively dumbfounded. “Surely you’re jesting?” Daemon thought back to his vague impression of Lord Matthos: the man had seemed kindly enough, albeit he always looked much older and weary for his age, which could be attributed to your infamous temper and tendency to reject any prospective marriage matches he tried to make for you. But still, Lord Matthos cherished you, his only surviving child. Or so Daemon thought. 

You shook your head despondently, “How I wish I was.” You sighed, your head drooped. “I thought…after so many years of resistance, my father would have finally given up on me. But it seems I was gravely mistaken,” your voice was resigned. “Laughable, is it not? You tried to warn me three years ago to save me from this fate, and I thought I had avoided it.” 

Daemon let out a jagged laugh. “Responsibilities are hard to evade, byka zaldrizes. Even as a Prince, I was forced to wed for the sake of duty.” You turned to face him, and he was taken aback to see the tears glistening in your eyes. “But you can evade them,” you pointed out quietly. “You could mount Caraxes at any time, fly to Dragonstone, King’s Landing, Essos, or wherever else to avoid your wife. But me?” You choked out a laugh, “I’m just a woman, Daemon. I have no dragon, or even a cock.” Your voice sounded bitter. “I always envied you for that. You men of the realm have more liberties than you give credit for. You can go wherever you please, fuck anyone you please, and to no consequence. I wish I could do the same.” 

Your words suddenly brought Daemon back to a memory of his childhood that he had long buried. He was nearing his 14th nameday, and he had finally convinced Viserys to sneak out with him for a night of revelry and debauchery in Flea Bottom. When he and his brother had returned to the Red Keep just before the hour of the bat, he had found you in his chambers, arms crossed and anger creasing your features, demanding an explanation of his whereabouts. When you had learnt that they were mucking about Flea Bottom, your face had turned indignant. 

“Why had you not asked me along?” your words surprised Daemon, and he guffawed. “Y/N, I’m not sure if you realise, but Flea Bottom is not a place for girls like you,” Daemon said bluntly, moving to fling himself on his bed. “And why not?” you raised your voice. Daemon had levelled an unimpressed look at you. “You’re a lady, Y/N. Ladies shouldn’t be seen in places like Flea Bottom. Now go away, you’re giving me a headache.” Daemon flopped his head into the pillows, groaning at the creeping hangover as a result of the amount of strongwine he had drank this evening. He thought you would just huff and go back to your rooms, but he was surprised to hear your next words tinged with hurt. 

“But…” you chewed on your lip. “You never even told me you were going. You tell me everything, even if I don’t want to listen.” Daemon had let out a groan of frustration, “And? Did you really want to hear that I was going to fuck some whores on the Street of Silk?” He heard your gasp, and it only solidified his belief that you were trying to nag at him like some prim, proper lady your mother was always training you to be. “I thought not. Now fuck off, I need to sleep.” He buried his face in his pillows, so he didn’t even notice when you left. 

It was only until you left that he realised he had brought back some cakes for you that he never had a chance to give to you, since you avoided him like the plague for the next few days. 

So that’s why you were mad at him. Realisation dawned on Daemon. It wasn’t because you were chagrined by his frequenting of brothels, it was because you felt hurt at being excluded. The three of you had used to do nearly everything together, and Daemon had considered you like a little sister after his mother’s death, though from the way the two of you bickered and roughhoused with one another, you were more like another brother to him instead. But something had changed after the first time he had paid a visit to the Street of Silk, and without him knowing it, he started treating you like a woman instead of his closest companion.

 He looked back at you. You were hugging yourself now, face despondent as you thought about your bleak future ahead. He suddenly felt the urge to embrace you, to wipe the gloom from your features. Yet while his heart willed it, his mind did not. So he could only take a deep breath and say in an unusually gentle voice, “I understand what you’re going through. I…” he struggled to get the words out. “...I’m sorry.” You turned your head in his direction, slightly disconcerted by his apology. “What for?” 

‘For you being a woman, for you being helpless to your fate.’ He tried to formulate a response. ‘For not being able to do more to help you. For everything.’ 

“For your situation,” he managed to choke out in the end, though they were not the words his heart wanted so desperately to say. You gave him a small smile, your eyes distant with sadness, “I never thought I’d hear you apologise…but thank you.” Although it is useless in preventing my fate. 

Daemon was internally frustrated with himself at his failed attempt at getting his emotions across, and at wiping the gloom from your face. Unsure of what to do, he picked up another strawberry tart and offered it to you. Dumbfounded, you opened your mouth and he gingerly fed you the tart. Despondent, yet utterly mystified, you studied him carefully, but his face gave nothing away. In the end, you dismissed this as just Daemon behaving unusually again. It was only normal after the bloodshed he had seen in the Stepstones…right?  

Despite your own predicament, it seemed relations in the Red Keep were taking a turn for the better. Over the past few months, Rhaenyra had gradually patched up her estrangement with Alicent, much to your delight. Rhaenyra had even warmed a bit to Alicent’s children, though she still regarded Aegon with a bit of disdain - you weren’t quite sure if it were due to his position as Viserys’ only son or because of Aegon’s tantrums. Helaena seemed to be comfortable around Rhaenyra however, always silent and content whenever Rhaenyra picked her up. While Viserys was still notably displeased by Rhaenyra’s abandonment of her marriage tour, he appeared fairly resigned by his daughter’s wilfulness. 

It was due to Rhaenyra’s warmer relations that you found yourself in the company of Rhaenyra more and more these days, like now. You were engaged in a game of cyvasse with her, although you were losing quite badly due to Rhaenyra’s aggressive play style. 

“I win!” Rhaenyra exclaimed with delight as she captured your last remaining key piece. You groaned, but smiled good-naturedly at her. “Well played, Rhaenyra.” Rhaenyra laughed, “Tis only your first time playing. You held up rather admirably in my opinion, but your defence needs more work.” 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” you smiled, reaching over to pour yourself another cup of tea. Elinda Massey, one of Rhaenyra’s ladies-in-waiting, entered the room to deliver a parchment to her, and Rhaenyra frowned as she opened it. 

“What is it?” I questioned. “A summons from Father,” Rhaenyra sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “It appears a few lords, notably Jason Lannister,” Rhaenyra rolled her eyes, “Have been inquiring about my prospective matches yet again. Father wishes to reopen talks of marriage when we break fast tomorrow.” 

You eyed her sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Rhaenyra.” Rhaenyra snorted, “Whatever for? Jason Lannister is the one who needs to apologise for being such a brash, brazen fuckhead.” 

“Rhaenyra!” You doubled over with laughter at her description. Rhaenyra crossed her arms. “Tis true, is it not? If only the Lannisters had as much wits to spare as they have gold.” You tried to contain your laughter, “I can see your uncle is rubbing off you.” Rhaenyra smirked, “Well, I should hope not. Did you hear about his latest exploits?” You smiled ruefully, “How could I not?” Daemon was never one to stray far from trouble for long, and war had not tempered his lusts in the slightest. He had taken up with his old companions of the City Watch, drinking in taverns, bedding whores, and the like. You were not wrong to say Daemon had not matured, but you didn’t know the full story. 

Rhaenyra stood up and walked to the window of her room, sighing as she clasped her hands behind her back. “Sometimes, I do wish I could be more like my uncle.” “An absolute scoundrel?” You answered, walking up to her and offering a goblet of Arbor gold. She smiled and took it. 

“A man. With an abundance of freedom to spare despite the fact he is married.” You raised your eyebrows, this sounded eerily similar to your conversation with Daemon under the Godswood a while ago. 

“It’s not just his freedom I desire,” Rhaenyra looked pensive. “Were I born a man, this bother of a marriage tour would never have occurred in the first place. There would be no call into question about my legitimacy and suitability for the throne due to my gender. And-” Rhaenyra struggled to contain her frustration. 

You gave her a sad look. Of course you understood what she meant, you had wished that yourself.  

“I hate to confess this but…” Rhaenyra bit her lip, “...I’m afraid of what the path of marriage has in store for me. I do not want to end up like my mother - I’ve seen enough of how she suffered in her tenure as Queen, trying to give Father the heir he so craved. I do not wish to just be some broodmare for my husband.” 

“Sadly, we are women, Rhaenyra,” you reminded her solemnly. Rhaenyra huffed in exasperation, draining her goblet with one huge gulp, putting it down on a nearby table before pacing around her room. You watched her in commiseration. “I almost forgot to ask - how is…your situation faring?” Rhaenyra asked delicately. You sighed, “About as well as you’d imagine. I must either live as a nameless commoner or as a married woman in two moon turns.” Rhaenyra circled back to you to take your hands in hers and squeezing it tightly. “Have you told my father yet? Perhaps he can arrange a betrothal for you, or convince your father to change his mind.” You gave her a close-lipped smile. “I wouldn’t want to trouble Viserys in this way. He is busy enough as it is.” And you still couldn’t resign yourself to the fate of marriage just yet. Nightmares had been plaguing you more incessantly nowadays, all either of being married off to some lord who was old and balding or someone whom you despised, of Aemma’s various miscarriages and her eventual death in childbirth. More oft than not, you would wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweat. 

Rhaenyra flashed you a sympathetic look, squeezing your hands so tightly in hers that they were growing numb. “In any case, I will be here for you, whatever you may choose.” You bowed your head in gratitude, “Thank you, Rhaenyra. But I couldn’t possibly, I wouldn’t know how to repay you.” 

Rhaenyra waved her hand dismissively, “Father always says you are family. And you are like a mother to me, especially after Mother died. Dragons look out for their own kind.” Your eyes grew misty at her words, as you murmured your gratitude under your breath. 

You noticed Rhaenyra looking out her window wistfully. “Is there something else on your mind?” You inquired. Rhaenyra turned to you, her eyes alight with curiosity. “Y/N, you’ve been to the city before, have you?” You looked puzzled at her question. “Yes, my mother had chaperoned me once, but it’s been a few years since that. Why do you ask?” 

Rhaenyra looked deep in thought. “In my governance classes with my tutors recently, they had been stressing on the importance of knowing the people of the land you're about to rule. Granted, they were talking about nobility, mostly, but I’ve always been curious as to the inner workings of the lives of the peasants.” You couldn’t hide your surprise. “The peasants?” Rhaenyra looked sheepish as she dropped your hands. “I’ve never really been to much parts of King’s Landing apart from the Dragonpit and the Red Keep. It gets a little boring after being cooped up in here for so long, you know?” An uncomfortable expression creased your features: Rhaenyra sounded like an exact mirror of your young self, eager to explore, to have fun. But now, you were grown, and much more cautious. 

“You could ask Ser Harrold to bring you around the city,” you suggested, but Rhaenyra looked opposed to the idea. “Then when people see me coming, they’ll think of me as the Princess and scrape away like subservient, mindless goats. I want to catch a glimpse of their lives, of their true thoughts about me as heir.” “So you mean to go alone then?” you looked unsure, but Rhaenyra nodded eagerly. “That would be the plan, yes.” Her face suddenly became a bit more serious and thoughtful. “It might be my last chance to sneak out for adventure. Once I am married…I do not think my future husband will be very approving of this notion.” 

You were quiet for a while, before you spoke up again, a sudden enlightening occurred to you, “Rhaenyra, you know…marriage need not be an end to indulging your desires.” Rhaenyra gave you a perplexed look. “What does that mean?” “You’re not just some highborn woman, Rhaenyra,” you took her hand, eyes twinkling. “You are the Princess. The heir to the realm. Even your husband will have to submit to you in the future as your king consort, will he not?” Rhaenyra was beginning to see the light in your logic, and her face lit up, though it dimmed again as she spoke, “But my father…I cannot guarantee that he will not rebuke me if I step out of the line..” You considered her words carefully, “That may be true…but so long as you don’t bring shame to the kingdom, and keep your exploits discreet, you will still be able to retain some level of freedom to pursue your desires.” 

Understanding was beginning to dawn on Rhaenyra, as the gears in her head began spinning. “You might be right.” She lifted her head in pride, “I am a Targaryen Princess, and heir to the throne after all. What should I have to fear about the opinions of others?” You squeezed her hand gently. “So you see, marriage might not be the end to your freedom as you thought. You are a smart woman, Rhaenyra. Do not let marriage confine you.” You were excited yourself. You didn’t have the same power Rhaenyra would have over her future consort, but still, you hoped that with Rhaenyra as an example, mayhaps there can be greater liberty afforded in marriages for highborn women, including yourself. 

Feeling confident of your own words, you looked into Rhaenyra’s violet eyes and smiled, “Always remember that you are the blood of the dragon, Rhaenyra. As heir to the throne, you have more advantages and liberties than most ladies of the land could ever hope for. Leverage them wisely, and be smart about your privileges to carve out the life you want to live.” You went silent, before adding, “Aemma would’ve wanted you to.” 

Rhaenyra’s face was suffused with a rosy glow, both at the prospect of regaining some semblance of control in her life, and at your mention of her mother. Aemma was always a soft spot for her, evident by the ruby falcon necklace Rhaenyra had taken to wearing everyday without fail. “You’ve given me a great deal to think about, Y/N,” Rhaenyra smiled gratefully at you. “It is good to have someone of the same mind as I am here in this Keep.” She squeezed your hand in gratitude. “Out of everyone, I understand most of what you’re going through.” You smiled motherly at her. “I would do anything to help you fulfil your desires. Always remember that I’m here for you.” 

Meanwhile, concealed amidst the secret passageways in Rhaenyra’s apartments, a cloaked figure listened intently, a smirk tugging on his face as he listened to the discussion between you and his young niece. 

It appears my niece has a desire to see the city, hmm? 

I think I can make that happen. 

In the morrow, you were trying to calm Aegon in Alicent’s solar as he threw a tantrum, protesting today's choice of breakfast: which was porridge. When you heard faint footsteps and the sound of the door to the solar opening, you looked up, pulling a smile on your face while trying to prevent Aegon from grabbing his plate and smashing it. That smile faded however, as you took in Alicent’s grim appearance. You soon learnt about the reasoning behind her upset expression, and you gritted your teeth, feeling like smashing up a plate yourself. 

Daemon. 

That fucking cunt. 

Translations: Ry iksos sȳrī, dōna dārilaros. - All is well, sweet princess.       

Taglist: @drwho-ess @graniairish @urmomsgirlfriend1 @thelittleswanao3 @animelover18 @llovinjoonie @gracielikegrapes @salembridger @itszzmoon @kmmg98 @travelingmypassion @zae5 @norestfortheshelbywicked @soleilgrec @anehkael @midnightprincess18 @lilith--666​ @saay-karani @dumbhxeredrose @syviiss​ @nyenye​​ 

Daemon General Taglist: @aiyaiy @kmmg98 @norestfortheshelbywicked @hb8301​ @hc-geralt-23

those who are bolded are those who couldn’t be tagged! let me know if you wish to be added to the taglist in the comments or through this form! 

A/N: And that's chapter 8! Chapter 9 should be released sometime next week, and Act 1 will conclude at Chapter 10.

Also, I've been thinking about setting up a writing Instagram account, where I will post regularly on my daily progress on my fics as well as behind the scenes of my fic writing (e.g. my mental breakdowns over writers' block, sketches of character's outfits and advanced previews of upcoming fics). Let me know if you guys will be interested in that in the comments!

Additionally, I've also been thinking of publishing one shots of Daemon and the reader's childhood as well as alternate realities of how the fic could've gone if some characters had made different choices. This will be after the completion of Act 1 of course, and I already have some ideas hehe so stay tuned!

As always, thank you for reading this far! Let me know what you thought about this chapter 💕

[yourlowkeyidiot3]

Wait in like a few weeks schools gonna start again

NO

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL

😭😭😭😭😭

Kill me kill me please I barley survived last year I barley survived all those years actually I can't do it all over again. NO

WHEN DID SUMMER WENT BY SO FAST LIKE HUH?? THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S BEEN 3 MONTHS??? I SWEAR IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK

No no no no no no no no no no

I don't even believe in God but I pray to him some miracle will happen. I don't even know what. Just anything that will prevent school from starting again.

God please save me I'm sorry I'll turn Christian again I swear

Zeus strick me down please

Anything

Please I'll take anything I'm on KNEES BEGGING PLEASE I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL 😭😭😭😭

I can't keep telling myself "just make it till summer/holidays/etc" it's starting to drive me mad I'm not kidding school makes me feel like I'm gonna lose whatever sanity I have left.

The only good thing about school is that I like the food they sell on the...uhhh idk what they're called in English. Uh τα κυλικεία.. Google translate says it's called canteens but Idk

But ANYTHING ELSE SUCKS

THE TEACHERS AND THE STUDENTS ARE EQUALLY AS BAD BRO IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY AGREED IN A GROUP CHAT TO SUCK EQUALLY CUZ I GENUINELY CANNOT DECIDE IF MY TEACHERS OR IF MY CLASSMATES ARE WORSE

Actually nvm my classmates are worse because I can totally see most of them becoming criminals and drug dealers when they grow up

Actually nvm that. I DID HAD A CLASSMATE WHO ACTUALLY SELLED DRUGS

Classic Greek ΕΠΑΛ school ig???????

And those GOD AWFUL BATHROOMS THAT I REFUSE TO EVEN STEP IN THAT LOOK AND SMELL LIKE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN CLEANED IN DECADES...

And that JERKASS OLD MAN OF A PRINCIPAL I HAD. I COULDN'T EVEN STAND TO SEE HIS FACE OR HEAR HIS VOICE. HE WAS A FUCKING JERKASS FOR NO FUCKING REASON I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN I WILL THROW HANDS.

I'LL BOMB THE SCHOOL

BURN IT TO ASHES

JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT I WON'T HAVE TO EVER SEE HIM AGAIN

AND IF I DO

I'M SWINGING IMIDIENTLY

Goddamn I have to go back to this damn circle of waking up miserable at 7am with 3-4 hours of sleep wishing a car hits me before making it to school. Basically be non existent in class for like 6 hours and then go home and listen to my mom tell me to do my homework and study while knowing damn well I'm not ever gonna pick up any book? AND THEN REPEAT ALL THAT UNTIL SUMMER COMES AGAIN???? AND THEN WORK MYSELF TO DEATH TO STUDY FOR THOSE FUCKING FINAL EXAMS??????

I quit

I QUIT

FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I CAN'T DO THIS

😭😭😭

[jane-gunson123]

Dead Boys.

When a geordie boxer looses her brother to suicied a week before the biggest fight of her career and walks out to her boyfriends song, Dead Boys.

Main masterlist

Sam Fender masterlist

Growing up with brothers meant Lacey was always fighting. Whether it was with her brothers, Jordan and kyle or other people, it was all she seamed to do. Her oldest brother, Jordan had a different mam to her and Kyle, and grew up in Sunderland meaning they only saw him a few days a week but that didn’t matter they were still siblings. 

When Lacey was 15 Jordan had signed a contract at liverpool and his football career started to take off and Kyle was 17, a year away from leaving for uni to become whatever his heart desired, he was intelligent enough to do anything, really. 

Lacey was never very academically gifted, she much preferred to be out on the streets doing what ever she pleased. She hated how much control authority figures had over her. The only reason she kept going was to one, make her brothers proud and two, see her best friends everyday, Sam, Dean and Abi. The four of them had ran North Shields ragged in their youth, terrorising the neighbors and business owners all there teens.   

On the 18th August 2012, Lacey had gotten her GCSE results back, they were shocking, 4 D’s and 1 C in PE the only thing she was good at, she had laughed it off at first, until she realised she couldn’t even apply for a proper collage course without resitting them. She hated exam's and refused to even attempt her GCSE’s again. 

After wondering aimlessly around North Shields for the better part of 2 hours, she decided to let of some steam and wondered into a boxing gym she had passed many a times. That was probably the best decision he had ever made to this day, for that was the day her life changed forever. 

That was about 11 years ago now and Lacey Henderson was very quickly becoming a household name in women's boxing. She was a mear 2 weeks away from the biggest fight of her career against Katie Taylor for the WBA,IFB and WBC belts while also putting her own belt she had defender 3 times already the WBO belt.

Her life had changed dramatically in the past 11  years, she had gone from living a life of poverty to upper middle class but yet she still refused to live anywhere apart from North Shields. 

She was still extremely close to both her brother, she had watched Jordan’s devastating defeat in the Euros final a mere few months ago and Kyle had just welcomed a little girl, Bella into the world with his girlfriend, Rosie 10 months ago. They had met at a bar in the quayside, Rosie being a English teacher at her old high school and Kyle being a fireman ment they often only saw each other for a couple hours day but the love they shared was unbeatable.

Lacey still remained close to her best friends, so close in fact she was in bed with one of them. Her and sam had always loved each other more than friends but had only actually gotten together about 6 months before lockdown and what was even more surprising was catching Abi and Dean the other half of there group in Abi’s bed after a practically, heavy drinking session the day before after lockdown rules had been lifted. 

6 days till fight night, she had her friend, boyfriend and team around her. Jordan and Kyle were only expected to show up a day before her fight but both rang her everyday to show their support. Lacey and Kyle had lost their mam to an overdose 3 weeks before Lacey’s 18th birthday and then the three hd lost their father to cancer 5 years ago, so they only really had each other as family now, even if they did have about a 100 cousins up and down the country thanks to their dads Gypies roots.

After finishing a sparring session, Lacey had picked up her phone to see 7 missed calls from Rosie, Kyle's girlfriend, 5 off Jordan and 3 off Sam, who was only back at the house they owned in London, which happened to be next to the Gym she attended their and Wembley arena where the fight was due to happen in 6 days time.

Lacey had decided to stay behind while everyone else had left and continue to work on her form with the punching bag.

Pulling the tape of her hands once she had finished her training for the day, Laceys phone began to ring, “Hello.” Lacey answered. 

“Lace.” Rosie answered back in hysterics.

“Woah, what’s the matter, Rose? Is everyone okay?” lacey asked, anxious. She never really showed emotion but she had never heard Rosie sound so distressed.

“He’s gone, lace.” She sobbed.

“Who’s gone? What u on about?” Lacey questioned again.

“Kyle,” Rosie sobbed, “He's dead.”

The room began to spin and lights began to blur, it was like Lacey had no control over her body as she fell to her knee and her phone slipped out of her hands.

She didn’t know how long she had been on her knees, staring at the wall in frount of her but what she did know was no tears fell. It was like she went blank and just simply couldn’t process the information she had been told.

Pulled out of her thoughts by her phone ringing once again, it was Sam but she didn’t answer. Just simply declined the call, stood up and walked toward the locker room in the gym.

After showering and changing into a tracksuit she had stolen of Sam a few weeks ago, Lacey simply packed her bag and began her walk home to hers and Sam’s house.

Nobody had heard from her in over an hour since she had found out about her brother and they were beginning to panic she would do something silly, you never know how dark someone’s mind can go after hearing news like that.

Unlocking the front door, she was engulfed into Sam’s arms, he had been waiting for her to arrive him since he had heard about Kyle.

“It’s alright love, I promise I’m always here, whenever you need me, okay?” Sam reassured her.

“I’m okay Sam, honest” Lacey replied, but Sam had know the girl since she was 5 and could tell when she tried to hide what she was feeling, her big blue eyes usually gave it away.

“You might think u are but your not. It’s okay to cry darlin’, just let it all out.” Sam rubbed her back pulling her onto his knee on the floor.

“I just can’t believe he’s gone.” She spoke meekly, tears pooling in her eyes.

Soon the water works started and they didn’t stop, not until late into the night anyways.

That was 5 days ago and nobody apart from close family and friends knew what had happened to her brother. She didn’t want it to get out before her fight and everybody was completely understanding.

Jordan had arrived about 2 hours ago with his wife to watch her weigh ins. He was worried about Lacey. Worried that she break in the ring, that it would all be to overwhelming for.

Lacey stepped on the scaled making her weight by 5 pounds, it was weird for her not wearing anything about from an underwear set, and yet she had never felt more confident and Sam thought she looked stunning witch he was sure going to tell her later on when he had he to him self.

Katie Taylor had also made her weight and the two nearly ended up in a fight on the stage. It was entertaining for the fans but also fuelled a fire with in Lacey that couldn’t be put out.

The next 24 hours flew by, she had slept and eaten but could really remember doing anything else. Usually in the locker room before a fight nerves are high and adrenaline is pumping but in all honestly Lacey’s team had never seen her so mellow.

She was sat in the corner getting her hands wrapped with AirPod in calm, listening to music in a world of her own.

It was eventually time for her to walk out, with a sigh Lacey stood up and made her way to the tunnel to walk out. Her team were waiting for her walk out song to start playing, it had been picked weeks ago, shortly after the fight had been announced, so imagine there supprise when instead of Get up 10 by Cardi B Dead Boys by none other than her boyfriend Sam Fender started playing.

Her team knew it was a not so subtle nod to her now passed brother but everyone else was clueless. After a slow walk out, Lacey jumped in the ring and smirked at Katie Taylor as Dead Boys finished playing, Lacey pulled her walk out outfit off with the help of her coach, Peter Roberts.

“You got this kid,” Peter said lightly grabbing her head. Lacey just nodded and smiled. She had this and he knew it.

“Fighting out of the blue corner, all the way from Bray, Northern Ireland, Katie ‘The Bray Bomber’ Taylor, weighting in at 66 kilos, 5ft5 with a reach of 66 inches. 22 wins, 6 by K.O. Undefeated champion, with three belts on the line, WBA, IFB and WBO” the announcer screamed over the speakers.

“The challenger, fighting out of the red corner, all the way from North Shields, Newcastle, England, Lacey “The Siren” Henderson, weight in at 65.95 kilos, 5ft7 with a reach of 70 inches. Undefeated with 13 wins, 7 by K.O with the WBO belt on the line, but looking to take all four titles in her weight class.” The announcement had finished.

With the touch of gloves the fight had began, they were going for 12, 3 minute rounds to decide the champ.

It was neck to neck going into the 7th round but Katie was getting tired, while Lacey was only just starting.

Katie went in to attack but left her chin u guarded, so Lacey used that to her advantage, a swift left hook to Katie’s jaw, followed buy an uppercut and a jab to the stomach sent Katie flying onto the canvas.

After the count of 10 Katie was still unmoved, she had done it she was world champion and had all 4 belts.

Ripping her gloves off with her teeth and chucking them, she ran and jumped up onto the ropes, kissing her fingers, before putting both arms in the air and looking up.

“That’s for you big brother.” She mumbled, it was inaudible to anyone else but she knew her brother was there with her, he was in her heart and always would be.

Her team flooded the ring, hosting her on their shoulders before they cleared off and let her grab the refs had before he raised it announcing she now had all 4 belts.

She was pulled aside to talk to a reporter, tears were streaming down her face.

“So, what was that celebration aimed at?” The reporter asked.

Sam wrapped his arm around her shoulder and moods his head encouraging her to continue.

“I lost me older brother, Kyle, 6 days ago. He was meant to be here tonight, buts he’s not, he took his own life after losing a long hard battle with depression, and I never want anymore of me family to feel like they have no one cos I’ve been there before and it’s a dark and lonely place. Boxing saved is but if I hadn’t stumbled into that gym at 16, I can guarantee I wouldn’t be here today.” The tears streamed steadily down the young Geordie’s face, her accent become almost incomprehensible.

“You were the underdog going into that fight, how does it feel to come out on top?” The report asked, scribbling down her last answer.

“I’ve always been the fucken underdog, nouts changed. I just like proving people wrong.”

“What can we expect to see from you in the next year?”

“I want a family, and while I would love me own kids, it’s not the right time in my career or me partners, so maybe a new member to me family, we want to adopt. And fighting wise, who knows the world I’d ready for my to conquer. I’m 26 and already have won every single belt there is too win, so I divint nar to be honest”

“And finally is there any one you would like to call out?” The reporter asked.

“Anyone who thinks they can take these belts of me, come and give it a try.”

They story of her brother was now public knowledge as 4 days later there was hoards of reports outside Newcastle Crematorium as they laid Kyle to rest. The service was beautiful and Sam and Jordan never left her side once.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I’m so fucken proud of you, after everything your still here and fighting.” Jordan said as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead .

He shielded Lacey away from the flashing cameras of the newspaper as he guided her out to his car with Sam and Rebecca, Jordan’s wife and Rosie not far behind.

They pulled up outside of the Low Lights in North Shields to give there brother a proper send off and that was just what they did. They drank the day away with stories of the last and their youth all the way up to the last time they had all been together at Lacey and Sam’s house for Christmas, when Sam burnt the turkey and Jordan got that drunk he fell on top of the Christmas tree, knocking over Lacey’s candles, nearly setting the house on fire.

They had laughed, cried and grieved together but this wasn’t the hardest part of kissing there brother that part was still to come but Lacey would be fine, Sam would be by her side thought everything, just like he had been every time Lacey needed him and even when she didn’t he was there and for that she was forever great full for him.

In the months to come Lacey and Sam would become parents, just not in the way they thought, as it turns out Rosie had been 4 months pregnant when Kyle had passed. After finding out she was 6 months gone and was not getting rid of it.

The pregnancy was stressful and hard but Lacey was by her side thought it all, even when she took her last breath after delivering a beautiful little boy into the world.

It had been Sam and Lacey to take her brother and sister in laws children in. They would raise the two kids as there own but never letting them forgot how brave and strong there parents really were.

Rosie was buried next to Kyle and Sam and Lacey would take the kids to visit there parents every few weeks.

Little did they know at the time but the two children would be forever great full for there aunt and uncle.

Growing old together was all Sam and Lacey ever wanted and that was what they did. They had raised two kids, and being grandparents to their kids and many dogs and both had extremely successful careers so when they both passed at the age of 86 together in the home in North Shields, everyone knew they had lived fulfilling lives and had no regrets.

It was a perfect end to a story with a horrible start but everyone deserves a happy ending eventually.

[ogwriter22]

Chapter One

You have to check these pictures.

Please let me know if you like one of them.

I saw the text under the pictures my amma had sent me. I slide up to see them again and I didn’t have enough excitement to see these boys. They all looked the same again; They were tall, dark, dressed in suits. However, deep down I didn’t feel anything. After years of waiting and rejection, I felt comfortable to be on my own.

Although, my amma doesn’t want to see me “surrender”. Not only her, most of my relatives think the same. As a woman, being alone looked like a curse to them. They thought that the blessing of a woman must be kids and become the best wife or the best mother in a family – I always thought it the other way around.

I had finished my final exams last month and the relaxation that came after felt like something I’ve never felt before. After sleepless nights that came with shortened vision and neck cramps, I finally got back my normal sleeping routine.

Still, my head felt heavy with the constant nagging from my amma about marriage and my own disappointment when it comes to a proper job employment. Sometimes I wished I could stay in bed till I figure something out.

“Good morning,”

My eyes opened at once, although I stayed in my bed. It was my roommate, Nadhini. I met her this year – She’s working as a sales executive in Colombo and she was much older than me. Around 6 am, she would wake up and get ready to go to work. Our landlord was quite suspicious about her at first since my last roommate got caught with a boy in the neighborhood. Just as usual, I thought they would say I was a slut like her. Surprisingly, most of the ladies thought it was impossible of me to do such a ‘vile thing’.

“Hey! You told me to wake you up.”

“Yes, I know.” I answered while a big yawn came out.  

“By the way, I might get late.” Nadhini suggested. “You would be okay right?”

“Well, I would come around at 8 pm,” I said and stood up. “You would be later than that?”

“Kind of. I have to work till 9pm today,” Nadhini replied as she picked up her handbag to go out.

I heard her footsteps leading to the front door. As usual, the rusty door lock was unable to move due to the morning dew and I heard trying to move the latch a few times. Finally the door unlocks and I heard her footsteps becoming distant as she stepped out. Our landlord greeted her and asked about me. Nadhini didn’t reply and I remembered about this month’s rent.

                             *  *  *

I stayed with Nadhini upstairs and my landlord lived downstairs alone since the day I came here. Today, I managed to escape from the house by walking down slowly on the rusty staircase before the landlord catches me. I managed to get on the heavy loaded bus that takes to Colombo from Nugegoda. During the first few stops, all of the seats were filled. Me and all the other people who were standing up, had the chance to experience of getting crushed by the other passengers or the conductors who walked in the middle.

I hated this although now I am kind of used to it. But I never liked how people rubbed against me as they got out. Most of the times, you have to get used to it. Although it doesn’t mean that I have to get used to when men do it on purpose.

Finally, I managed to put my handbag into an empty seat before someone notices. Luckily it was near a window seat and it felt like a huge relief. I squeezed through the crowd and sat down; I tried to open the window a little, however it got stuck in the midway and left a little space for some air. This day could not get any worse than this.

                             *  *  *

“I knew you were gonna be late again.”

Mrs. Almeida caught me off guard – I still can’t believe that she’s trying accuse me again for what happened last week. I sealed my lips with a smile before I say something back to her.  She didn’t return her smile since she was furiously wiping the chairs and the tables.

Then Mr. Almeida came in, with a pearly white smile as usual. I kept my sealed smile until I walked into the kitchen. The chefs were coming in and as usual, R walked right in front of me. His head was low and he was typing something on the phone. I stepped aside as I walked towards the staff room.  

It wasn’t big enough to fit everything we had, however we still managed to put our belongings in the shelves that are hanging by thread. So, most of the time anything heavy would be on the floor like R’s bag filled with his clothes and other stuff. I would keep my handbag in a shelf that was hidden by the daylight, before that I would take out my phone or my purse and keep them in my pockets.

I would go back to the cash register and saw how Shanya is rustling through the remaining cash. Mrs. Almeida came up and she was pissed off. Still Shanya was swimming through the cash and counted every big note she grabbed. Then Mrs. Almeida cleared her throat and Shanya looked at us. Her stupid smirk came up yet the fear in her eyes glistened. The cash crumbled into her fist and walked past through both of us. Mrs. Almeida tried to hit her back although she missed. Then Mrs. Almeida looked at me with rage in her eyes and I immediately looked away. Not that I was scared, but I just knew I would be next to suffer Shanya’s consequences.

“Where’s Shanya?” Mr. Almeida shouted.

“Went away with all of the money we had,” Mrs. Almeida shouted him back which made my ears ring.

“What?” Mr. Almeida shouted again. Everybody could hear his guilt.  

Mrs. Almeida looked around and went inside. Their voices became distorted as they continued to shout at each other. No one’s actually surprised about it – All of us knew it would happen at some point. Either because of Shanya or one of us. If it didn’t happen, R would say it’s going to rain tonight. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it won’t.

I checked the cash register and I noticed how she had taken most of the 5000 rupee notes and a couple of 1000 rupee notes. Although I wasn’t angry at her for taking the change her father had put inside. I was kind of upset how she has messed up the combination I had arranged in this register. I replaced the notes in an ascending order and kept the bigger notes under the coin section.

Right then my phone rings and without a look, I answered the phone.

“Hello!” It was my amma.

“Hello.” I said.

“Are you at work?” amma asked.

“Yes, I am,” I tried not to sound irritated. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh, are you free this weekend?” Amma answered me with a question.

“Not really.” I answered her. “Why?”

“Ah, I just wondered if you could come and meet this nice boy, I found for you.”

“Okay, why don’t go on a date with him?”

“Chi, are you mad?” Amma got irritated with my question. “You are the one who’s single, not me!”

“Well, I am a bachelor and you are a kind of a widow. Sounds right to me.”

“Oh please! I am too old for that. You are the one who should get married.”

“I don’t wanna get married, amma- “

I turned around to see R, who was standing two feet away from me.  He immediately looked away and walked inside to the kitchen. R never acted like this before – it all started when Mr. Almeida made a weird joke about setting me up with him if I won’t find a decent guy to marry. At that time, I honestly didn’t want to talk back to him. Because I know for sure that they would just use that to crucify my destiny of becoming a crazy spinster.

Sometimes I wondered about it – I thought myself being lonely in my old age. It would probably feel the same way as I am feeling right now. It might feel wonderful and have some peace since I won’t have that much baggage around me. But I remembered the old folks who’d come here alone. The way they move or they eat became some kind of a mirror to look into my possible future.

“Oh, getting old and being alone is one hell of a curse.”

The way Mrs. Almeida’s sighs and complains made my heart shiver.

Will my loneliness become the price for my independence?

                               *  *  *

That one thought managed to spoil my whole day. I was dragging my feet and my chin was low the whole time. The only time I raised my head was to look at the clock. At some point R asked me If I was tired. I just smiled at him and held my words. I despised everything that was around me – the guests, the food and especially the time. I couldn’t even remember if I had any lunch.

To make everything worse, I got late to the bus and had to wait for at least 45 minutes. To pass the time, I kept thinking about how I would get a chance to sit. Unfortunately, I had to stand with others who were squeezed into the bus and slide through the people to get out at my stop.

Finally I have a fresh breath of air and I checked the time. It was 8pm. The heaviness was still in me and I couldn’t wait till I see my bed. The landlord was near her balcony and I saw her. She looked suspicious at first, but then she smiled at me. I tried my best to give her smile.

When I went inside, my bed was still in the same way as I left. My towel was on it and I thought I had put it in the cloth rack to dry. I just fell on my bed and now I didn’t want to move. I know for sure my amma would yell at me for doing this. But I was alone and I can just sleep right now.

Although the silence that came within killed me. Do people pity me for being lonely? Will they despise me when I grow old?

All I can say is that, half of those people are miserable because of their marriage life. They just hate anyone who’s free – they may think we stole it from them.  Even when I think about the people who suffer because of their own children or their own spouse, I pray not to have a life like them.

Who needs company when you can enjoy yourself?

Oshini Gunasekara, First & Last (Coming soon)

[bill-cipher-enjoyer]

What is ariyah and zernamon's relationship like?.

the best answer I can give you is sheer chaos. It really depends on what point in time you want to take them from and question their relationship in.

at first it was "I skipped literally every single day in class and its a week till the final exam and this loser has all the notes" then it was "okay you've never been to a party in your life, shut up nerd we're going to Gluttony" then it was "running away from our abusive households together haha!" then it was "burning down an arbys together is a fun date idea" then it was "holy shit my abusive dad fucking BRAINWASHED my boyfriend and thats why he disappeared for like 6 months and HOLY SHIT IS THAT A KNI- *dies*" then it was ~10 years of ruthless hatred interspersed with very, very thinly vieled flirting, then one person got a little too close to death during a fight and the other finally realized "holy fuck he means so much to me i'd fucking die if he was gone what the fuck" and like 2 weeks later they were back to moving in together.

its a suprisingly healthy relationship, all things considered. they only try to kill each other around twice a month, and both of them know enough healing magic to prevent the other from actually dying.

[rogueshadeaux]

Chapter Two - False Hopes

He was immediately recognizable; one of the two dudes that were window shopping, in an Adiad tracksuit that seemed way too thin for the middle of winter. He had black hair, a scar running along his forehead, and a fucking gun in his hand.

4k Words | 13 min read time | TRIGGER WARNINGS: guns, assault.

Getting home was an event in itself, Dad taking unnecessary loops through neighborhoods and avoiding main roads as we left Portland in our wake, headed home. Home was Chapman, on a 5 acre lot hidden behind some comfortable, unclaimed woods. The only sign anyone lived at all on this road was our mailbox, bricked in after an accident involving a moped and a wild turkey. Our gravel driveway jerked the truck around, making me drop my phone as I browsed Reddit and causing Brent’s head to smack rather hard against the window he was napping on. “Wakey wakey,” I joked as he groaned, massaging his temple.

He tried to punch my leg in retaliation.

Dad shook his head in the driver’s seat, chuckling to himself as he said, “Alrighty, kids, school night, so I want you both to start headed to bed when we get in there, okay?” 

“Thought we didn’t have to listen to you anymore?” I teased. 

Dad rolled his eyes, meeting mine in the rear view mirror. “You’ve got a month till then, ma’am. And I’m still gonna make you two sleep at a decent time after that. I’ll turn off the Wi-Fi,” he threatened. 

“You monster.” 

Sleep, though, was hard that night. My mind just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. The brick. The bomb. Was the world really that full of hate? These Conduits couldn’t help what they were. Who they were. Just like people couldn’t control skin tone, or height or something. 

But those protestors…that was hate. Enough hate to get someone charged with destruction of property. Enough for them to not care that there were kids. 

Enough to threaten to kill my Dad. 

Losing him…that was one of my biggest fears. It was hard enough, growing up without Mom there. We had no remaining family; grandparents, uncles, all gone before we were even thoughts in Mom and Dad’s relationship. If we lost Dad, that’d be it. I’d only have Brent. 

The thought terrifies me.

Thankfully, though, he was there as we woke early the next morning, pulling a waffle from our waffle iron when I stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and in the middle of a French braid. “Good morning my dear Jeanie!” He chirped.

“Dad, please. It’s 6 am.” I groaned. “Why are you happy?” 

“Because, my dear. My love. My shining star,” he exaggerated, pirouetting with the plate high above his head and spinning towards me. “I get to see you two off. I’ll be here when you get back.” 

He offered the plate to me. “Sounds terrible,” I teased, taking it. “But if it comes with breakfast every day, then sure.” 

“I knew you only loved me for my cooking.” 

“Dad, you can barely cook.” 

Brent was next in the room, immediately bolting for the coffee pot and starting the brew. That was his job; coffee making. Didn’t know how, but he could make a delicious, albeit strong, cup of joe. Plus I don’t think either of us were going to function today without it; winter exams were in full swing, and being Seniors, they carried so much more weight. Especially with FAFSA looming in the new year, and college applications due just as soon. 

I finished plaiting my braid, letting it fall to my back as I absolutely smothered the food in syrup. Maybe these waffles held the secrets to memorizing pre-cal. Lord knew I needed it. 

Brent plopped beside me with his own stack of waffles, skipping the syrup and just digging straight in like a heathen. “I was also thinking,” Dad paused, pouring more batter into the iron and closing it, “That this will be the first Christmas break I’m off. Ever. I haven’t bought you two presents yet, so what would you say to a vacation?” 

I couldn’t say anything at all. Brent, however, elected to choke on his waffle. 

“Vacation?” I finally worked out, my eagerness barely audible over Brent’s coughs. We haven’t been on vacation since 8th grade, when Dad took us to Disneyland out in Cali. It’s just been too crazy for all of us; Brent was caught up in sports, I had started my art portfolio and gymnastics. Dad began his activism around that time too. 

And after a hellish time like exam season, I was ready for a getaway. 

“Yep!” Dad said, filling a glass with water and passing it to Brent. “Not sure where. But I can do my work from a hotel just as easy as from the den. Figured you two are old enough to tell me where you want to go. I will say,” he opened the waffle iron, “This may count as your birthday gift too — I’ll still get you both something small, sure, but everything would go to a vacay.” 

Oh, that word sounded weird coming out of his mouth. 

Brent, throat now lubricated, asked “But we get to decide?” 

“Sure,” Dad shrugged. “Within reason. Not taking you two to the Red Light District in Amsterdam or anything—“

“Damn, there goes my choice,” I sighed, giggling as Dad rolled his eyes. 

“And keep it local, we wont be able to update your passports in time. But you two talk it out, and tell me before break. I have so many miles from work I can easily book us cheap tickets.” 

That made it so much easier to get to school. 

Brent and I immediately started debating on a place when we entered the courtyard of Linus Pauling High School, finding a tree to shelter under and nurse our coffees. “MOMA? Really?” Brent scoffed. “You want to go to New York to visit an art museum?” 

“Hey, I’ve heard it’s cool!” I threw my empty hand up defensively. “Besides, they’re doing a showcase of all of Delsin Rowe’s tags he left in Seattle.” 

That got his attention. Delsin Rowe, the Conduit’s Abraham Lincoln. The man that stormed Seattle for a week, changed the entire landscape of the world, and then ran off never to be seen again. He was like a real life Batman, freeing people from tyranny and then disappearing into the night. 

I loved his art. Brent loved the story. 

But apparently, not enough to get him to consider NYC. “I can look up the pics for free,” he shrugged, sipping his coffee. “Besides, New York City is the East Coast’s Hollywood.” 

I grimaced at that. Hollywood was a part of our Cali vacation I’d love to forget, and yet be forced to forever remember. 

“Yo, Brent!” 

Our heads turned, looking at the group that was coming close. Tommy, Brent’s best friend, was leading the pack, arm wrapped around Theresa, my bestie. Had to admit, they were a cute couple; I just hoped it would last, because the nuke of their breakup would cause irreversible damage to our friend group. Cat followed close behind her cousin, the dinosaur hat she chose to go with today pulled down close to her skull, shielding her from the cold. Dominic lagged behind, scuffing his boots in the snow, off in another world where you’d always find him running away to. Mei was nowhere to be seen. 

I didn’t miss how Brent deflated a bit beside me at that. 

Nonetheless, Brent recovered, getting up to dap up Tommy, Theresa escaping his grasp and coming to sit beside me, snatching my coffee from my hands and taking a sip. “Wh-, give that back!” I laughed indignantly, swiping for my tumbler that she kept just out of reach. 

“Give me back my black dress then we’ll talk,” she teased, taking another sip. 

I blushed slightly, “Shit, I keep forgetting about that. Why don’t you come over and get it today?” 

Tommy heard, chiming in with, ��Aren’t you two grounded still?” 

Brent went on to explain what happened, how Dad benevolently released us from punishment in exchange for being able to keep a close eye on us. 

Explaining why he was working from home, though, was less exciting.

“You sure Lifeline left that behind?” Tommy inquired. “Y’know, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a bomb-making Bioterrorist—“

“Tommy, they threw a brick at us,” I interjected before he could continue on with his bullshit. The token Devil's Advocate. Didn’t help his Grandfather was ex-DUP.

Dominic finally entered the stratosphere, repeating, “They threw a brick at you?” 

It was my turn to narrate, explaining the day we had yesterday — minus all the cleaning. How Lifeliners spit at Dad, how they targeted us and didn’t even care we were still kids. Not for long, but still. 

At least Tommy had the sense to look ashamed for being their advocate. 

I finally got my tumbler back from Theresa, throwing back the little bit of coffee she left me and gulping hard. Coming down, my eyes caught flying hands, Cat trying to convey something getting lost in the boy’s banter. 

My ASL was getting better — especially now that Linus Pauling offered sign language as an elective. But Cat, being so proficient, flew with those fingers so fast that I only caught one word: ‘safe.’ “Hey, Tommy, what’s Cat saying?” I asked, breaking up guy time. 

Tommy hummed, turning to his little cousin. Cat was our designated baby, a sophomore we all guarded with our life because of her mutism. She was sweet, full of spirit, eccentric — but entirely silent. Which of course, caught her a bunch of shit with the bullies: caused some arguments from me and Theresa, with some reinforcement punches from Brent and Tommy. 

“Oh, she asked if you guys will be safe? After everything,” Tommy translated, leaning over to whisper, “Remember to go a bit slower, these noobs can’t keep up,” in her ear. 

I shrugged. “We should be? But…after yesterday,” I sighed. “I don’t know.” 

“We will be,” Brent interjected. “Dad knows what to do,” 

The bell rang, signaling for all its little livestock to mosey on to their first stop of slaughter. Meaning, for me, Pre-Cal. 

Yay. 

We all dispersed on promises to catch up at lunch, submitting ourselves to the torture of final exams. I wasn’t made for math. Formulas and number crunching just didn’t compute in my mind, like I was a computer using dial up. I finished my exam early, probably more a sign of my lacking knowledge than utter genius, being excused to the library by Mr. Emerson. 

I found a comfortable corner to hide away in, pulling my sketchbook out of my backpack and opening to my last page; a partially done practice session of drawing realistic looking hands that, honestly, weren’t looking too realistic.

Realism wasn’t my attraction, though. I wanted to be a comic book author. Write my own stories, draw the art. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to expand my arsenal and become well versed in everything I could to grow my portfolio. Realism, abstract — hell, even did a few furry things for Cat. It all had to go towards building the life I wanted. Especially since the art school I wanted to go to, Giverny Institute of the Arts, was very competitive.

That big dream, comic books? Wasn’t gonna be easy, though. Comics died out in popularity after the Empire City Catastrophe, and haven’t really made a solid comeback since. Superheroes that were all the rave back then seemed taboo after The Beast, and were all but discontinued. Nearly every big name franchise went bankrupt save for a comic adaptation of Sherlock Holmes, and Manga — which wasn’t really my deal.

‘Course, there was also rule34, but…no. Just no.

I’d probably have to enter animation or something, which was fine. I could deal with that. It was way more secure than comics, at least. My last semester was predominantly electives, since my summer classes put me ahead of schedule, and I planned on taking every Rendering and Animation class Giverny sponsored through the school district. Maybe one day, I’d be one of the lucky ones. The type of person to beat all odds and achieve my dreams, to have a rather lucrative career as a comic artist. Maybe.

But for now, I’d have to hock away at these stupid hands. Why are hands always so hard?

I wasn’t alone for long, though, the familiar thump of heeled boots announcing another friend. “Hey Jean,” Mei greeted. 

“Hey, didn’t see you this morning,” I looked up, sheepishly closing my sketchbook. Just ‘cause I wanted to be an artist didn’t mean I wanted anyone to see the work when it was still under construction.

Mei shrugged off her messenger bag, setting it on the floor and plopping beside me. “I was studying. Was going to in a minute, too. Just wanted to stop and say hi.” 

“So then why did you sit down?”

“Cause I’m tired of studying.” Mei reached into her backpack, pulling out a ziplock bag. “Rice cake?” 

I’ll always say yes to food. 

Taking a bite out of the rice cake, I said, “Hey, by the way, thanks for talking to Dad. He ungrounded us and it’s all thanks to you, Mei-flower.” 

Mei grimaced, “Oh god, I hate that you heard Sobo call me that. But, you’re welcome. It was good practice for my Debate exam, too.” 

“Had nothing to do with him still wanting to rat you guys out?” 

“Only partially,” 

I laughed, taking another bite and exercising my bad manners by speaking with my mouth full. “Y’know, now that we’re ungrounded, maybe you and Brent could quit with the gross puppy eyes and go on a date. He’s free for the rest of the month. Rest of his life, if you’re willing.” 

Mei rolled her eyes, muttering, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But there was no lying with her face that red. 

“Oh please, if I have to sit through one more muttering mess of a convo—“

“Stop.” Mei giggled, accepting defeat. Sighing, she became crestfallen. “Besides, I don’t know if Brent is all that into me.” 

“You’re kidding, right? Smooth talking, bad boy Brent that can’t even talk without st-st-stuttering around you?” I scoffed. 

“You don’t know for sure if he likes me,”

“You’re saying you know him better than his twin?” She didn’t retort. “Just — give it a chance. Maybe winter formal? Since we can go to that now,” 

That struck something in Mei. She wandered away in her mind, nibbling on her rice cake absentmindedly. “Hmm. Maybe. But that’s, what, this Friday? Would he be ready for a dance by then? He said he wasn’t going,” 

“Please,” I shook my head, smiling. “You ask him out, he’s gonna demand we go to the mall today.” 

“Hey so, Dad,” Brent started from the backseat of the truck after losing a round of rock-paper-scissors for shotgun. “You think we can go to the mall?” 

Looking in his rear view mirror and waiting for a car to pass before he backed out, Dad cocked his head slightly. “The mall? Why—“ 

“Oh my God, did she ask you?” I interrupted, spinning to look at him. God, he was so pink. 

No will to pretend, he simply asked, “You knew?” 

“Pfft — knew? I told her to.” 

“May I please be clued in, dear children?” Dad interjected. “Especially if it demands my money.” 

“Mei asked Brent to the formal,” I spurted, ignoring Brent’s protests behind me. “About time too, hopefully you two will stop being so weird around each other.” 

Dad now spun in place to look back at Brent. “Did she, son?” Brent nodded. “Well,” Dad shrugged, putting the truck in reverse, “You’ll need a suit, then,” 

“Oh, can I have Theresa come hang out?” I begged Dad. 

Brent, finally deciding to buckle in, added, “Tommy too? I wanted to get his opinion on outfits.”

Dad pulled forward, joining the terribly long queue out of the parking lot. “My God, do you guys not want to hang out with me? I’m cool. Hip, groovy, based or whatever the kids say—“

“Dad, literally no one says that,” I laughed. 

But Dad, not one to miss my lack of denial, whined, “You don’t! I’m just chauffeur for you guys, aren’t I?” 

“Don’t forget bank.” Brent joked.

“Hey, you want that new suit or not?” But sighing, Dad relented. “Fine. Invite them. I needed to get some new stuff since I’m working from home now, anyways.” 

We were on our phones texting before he finished the sentence. 

Unfortunately, that meant a 45 minute ride into the city — which easily turned into an hour and some change, with rush hour traffic. Wasn’t too bad, though; it was fun being able to see Dad immediately after school instead of waiting for him to stumble home from the office at, like, 9 PM. It did mean we were subjected to his playlist — and worse, his singing. 

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t that bad a singer, but if I told him that, he’d sing more often. And he always got way too into it. 

We were finishing up a hilarious and passionate rendition of ‘Dear Maria, Count Me In’ when we pulled into the mall parking lot. “Alright, I’m going to Office Depot. You guys message me when you’re done. And Brent?”

“Yeah?”

“Send me pics. I’m the one that has to wear those monkey suits for work every day,” Dad pulled his phone out of his back pocket, along with his wallet. “I’m gonna send you $150 — suits can be so expensive. Jeanie, do me a favor and take this,” he continued, yanking a crumpled $50 out of his wallet. “Hate carrying cash.”

 Well I loved it, especially if it was free.

We separated, Dad going off to buy office supplies while Brent and I headed for the food court. “What about Miami?” Brent randomly asked. 

I snorted. “What, the coke capital of America? Dad would not take us there,” 

“I just really want to have a summer Christmas,” Brent sighed. “White Christmas’ get old.” 

Like a lightbulb, an idea popped up in my head. “Do you think Dad would do Hawaii?” 

“Hawaii?” Brent thought about it, a smile growing wide on his face with every second that passed. “That would be so cool.”

“Right?” I spun to face him, walking backwards. “Sandy beaches, good weather,”

“Probably a couple good trails,” Brent added. “I could try surfing again,”

“Volcanoes! That’d be awesome!” 

He nodded. Hawaii. The best Christmas present. “We’ll talk to Dad about it, yeah. I like that idea.” 

And knowing Dad, he would say yes. Man loved the beach. 

We met up with Theresa and Tommy, managing to pull the two lovebirds apart for a while to go our separate ways. Theresa was quickly informed of our Christmas gift, the possibility of spending it in the ocean breeze, and immediately insisted we try to find a good few dresses for it — which I’d be down for, if it wasn’t the middle of December. 

But goddamn, if the woman wasn’t a magician. Swear her New Marais roots came with some voodoo magic. She pulled me into a Booker’s, finding a sundress in their clearance rack that I immediately fell in love with; it was peach, with white flowers, an asymmetrical skirt flowing down to my ankles. 

Or it would, if I put it on. But it was 32 degrees and I liked being warm. Couldn’t help but imagine how beautiful it’d look though. 

“So, do you want it?” She asked, curls bouncing in excitement. “I swear if you don’t get it I will,” 

I laughed, “Yeah, I’ll get it, jeez.” 

Post-register, Theresa dragged me from the Booker’s to a hair care stall, talking to the vendor about their options for moisturizing dreads overnight since she was thinking about getting them back in. I scuffed my shoe and looked around a bit before breaking in boredom, telling her I’d be back after grabbing a snack. They had a Cinnabon in here somewhere, I know they did. I could smell ‘em. 

Like a leopard on the hunt, I followed my nose, the prize surprisingly far from where I left Theresa. Either the batch was fresh, its aroma floating freely through the near-abandoned mall, or I was a fatass. It was more than likely the latter, though. It’s a wonder how I stayed a decent weight, to be honest. 

The mall was huge, two stories and multiple wings — meaning they also had more than one food court. At least, they had a few pseudo ones, a stall selling pretzels or those little ice cream dots right next to a specialty food store. Like the Cinnabon I was after. I ordered my own treat and drink, with enough cash left over from Theresa’s deal hunting to get her her own stuff, messaging her to meet me at the seating by the stall in the mall’s walkway so we could chow down. 

‘K, almost done’ she messaged back. 

So that meant I probably had 15 minutes. 

I shed my jacket and hung it on my chair, hopping on my phone to watch some videos as I waited. I loved Theresa, but her perception of time absolutely sucked; the only reason she got here at a decent time was because Tommy drove. She had a chronic issue with being fashionably late, which meant I was often left to my own devices. 

So I was well versed in passing time on my own, watching some VClipz of people’s realistic speed drawings and hoping that I’d absorb their talent through some wild form of osmosis. I’d glance up on occasion, looking around for Theresa and hoping that maybe this’d be one of those times she actually was timely accurate — but no dice. It was just me, the Cinnabon worker, and these two dudes in all black tracksuits sort of meandering about, taking window-shopping very seriously by not stepping into a single store. 

15 minutes had already passed with no signs of Theresa, and I sighed, opening my Cinnabon. No use in letting it get cold. I ate away absentmindedly, watching more VClipz and biting on the food, moving to pick up my drink and take a gulp. 

And of course, in my reasonably clumsy ways, I managed to set my drink down on the stack of napkins, it immediately keeling over and spilling onto my lap. 

“Son of a—“ I groaned, scooping up my phone before the soda could soak it. Of course I’d spill food on myself. Could never eat without making a mess. The Cinnabon worker, an absolute saint, rushed over with her mop, a spray bottle in the other hand and a dish rag over her shoulder. “I can clean this, why don’t you go clean off? I can watch your things.” 

“You sure? I don’t want to be a bother—“ 

“It’s fine,” she assured me. “If you go around this corner, there’s a restroom along this wall,” she said, pointing past the Cinnabon and to the junction of the next breezeway. 

I thanked her, waddling my cold crotch to the bathroom and trying my best to sop up the mess with paper towels. That did nothing for the stickiness, though, and I absolutely hated being sticky. Did I have enough money left to maybe get some new pants? I pulled out my wallet, partially to count my cash and also to make sure my stuff was salvaged from my Diet Coke when the door to the women's restroom opened. 

And in walked a man. 

He was immediately recognizable; one of the two dudes that were window shopping, in an Adiad tracksuit that seemed way too thin for the middle of winter. He had black hair, a scar running along his forehead, and a fucking gun in his hand. 

I spun around, dropping my wallet on the ground and lifting my hands to show there was nothing. All I had, every bit of the $17 and some change left over, was scattered across the tile of the restroom, a quarter running away from the confrontation. “Please,” I begged, my blood running ice cold as he raised the hand with the gun. This was it. I was going to die over $17 fucking dollars. 

But instead, he swung the gun at me, the butt of it slamming against the top of my head and making my vision swim. 

I stumbled into the sink counter, slamming my lower back against it. The pain in my spine joined the pain in my head as both throbbed, forcing me to brace myself against the counter so I didn’t collapse on the spot. 

And I admit it; I began crying. Why wouldn’t I? There was a random guy in here beating me with a fucking gun. He raised his hand again, swinging the gun down to hit me in my head once more.

And this time, my vision faded out.

[royalfrostrose]

Ok. So this is a super serious topic and i know that no-one I know is on this platform or will recognise me but I need some advice here!

So my little sister will be 16 this year and plans on running away from home afterwards. As her older sibling and basically her roommate too, I know what she goes through at home and she also tells me what it is exactly that bothers her.

And I can say that running away is totally overboard for what is going on here.

She is the 3rd kid here and because of her asthma, she always got treated differently from me and our eldest brother.

No physical abuse! No violation of privacy. Just our father being emotional distance from the girls in the house. He daily complains about the state in our room or is verbally a dick. She also doesn't like our mother for being mad at her. But she is only mad at her for not doing her one chore in the whole house. The dishwasher. And the two of us share the job of taking care of the youngest. She is only on her phone when it's her turn and makes her cry and scream the whole day and the kid is 3. And she always complains how she is the only one in the house doing anything and how I'm older but do nothing. I fold the laundry, set and clean the table, help in the kitchen, also baby-sit our little sister, do part-time during the summer,easter and autumn vacations, clean and somethimes wash the cat-litter and vacuum the house. And I also graduated last week.

To be free from home like the oldest, all she got to do is graduate and go to university. Like I plan to do.

When she runs away now, she is throwing away her education and has no chance of a good life. And things are not as easy like in America. Without university, you are nothing here. She only has 4 years more of school. That's it. But she plans on running away, only work part time ans then full time to finance her stay at that dude from online she knows for 4 months.

And she is ready to sleep on the streets if she has to.

Things are not at all that bad here to do that. She got a great social life in school too. She counts as popular even. And she's not a bad student.

This whole plan is just way to rushed and she doesn't listen to me.

She is also risking that our 2 younger siblings get taken away. For what? Because our parents are mad she sleeps till 13 o'clock?

Addition:

And what I think I should ad to all of this would be some more details.

My parents get mad. And I would lie when I would say that my father was a nice and good man 24/7. But the older we get, the easier he is to handle. She didn't and doesn't have to deal with him when he get's actually bad. And now, all he does is complain and what old man doesn't?

When she takes care of the 3yr old, she sounds as if she get's beaten but then surprise, she only is screaming because my sister ignores here fully. Who's parents wouldn't be mad at their kid? And my father main priority is football ⚽️. Yeah, he doesn't care for your gymnastics sis but he forced me to give up on art and now I am applying for a fcking bio class. At least your hobby is accepted. Or when my mother said "you will get fat". Why does she complain. She litterly eate 3 bowls of ice cream with each 4 ice cream scoops, a bag of chips, 5 cactus water ice, 2 water ice sticks and a bar of chocolate just yesterday within 5 hours. Girl, that's not fat shaming when your oboes mother tells you that your skinny as will get fat and you should eat you lunch for once!

And we are freaking poor! Thanks to inflation (that's still not stopping for no reason), we can't get a bag of 5kg potatoes for our 6 head household in the MOTHERFUCKING LAND OF POTATOES! I had to give up my paycheck every single time so far. I still can't start my drivers license class because of the lack, but hey, she didn't get a tablet for her 15 birthday. But Boho, I got a set of Farben castle colour pencils for my 18 birthday because i needed them for my final exam. (My finals had 5 different subjects and my most important was art)

And when I compare the crap my big brother went through and her, eben he had it worse and he, as a boy, gets some extra treatment.

Sometimes I wonder why I even care for her wellbeing... so? How do I stop her from running her future while she believes it would be the best way?

Oh and i think it's clear that we hate one another. But we tell each other everything because we have no-one else and unite in our hate foe our father✨️

But I honestly don't know what to do. She knows that I wanted to run away too back then. But the difference was that he took all my money since I'm little like a walking piggybank and tried to kill me several times and even though about arranged marriage. And I wanted to either way die before 18 or leave when I'm 18. And now, he entered his old man Phase and only complains about politics and stuff so it's pretty chill cause now, you just need to ignore the yapping. So not like she was present during those times or had the same happen to her. So I can't see how she can be so careless with her life decisions. (And obviously my parents marriage is a mess but they can't separate because of financial reasons)

Also, my parents get way more chill when you enter the intense phase wich in her case would be only in 2 year.

And now ith that new sister, my family in general got more calmer. So she actually had it pretty nice now. And obviously my parents would call her missing and she will be brought home when she get found before she turned 18. And then things would be bad. But not when she just plays it low like we did.

In the end this was more like venting my frustration. Sorry to bother and this will be deleted in some weeks.

(And I don't need help. Like I said, things have called down long ago and I'm leaving anyway if I get accepted into university)

[cattutorialsblogs]

CAT Do’s – 1 month earlier than CAT Exam

What are the CAT Do’s : 1 month before the CAT Exam?

1. Focus extra on reviewing Mock Tests

In these final days, avoid the rush of taking up a ridicule take a look at every trade day. Target to take 2 mock assessments each week, devote all the time to reviewing and enhancing. Take an in depth take a look at in examination like situation and assess your performance to analyze if there may be still a place you can improve upon. Practice tests at this level are more approximately reinforcing your preparations rather than finding your weaknesses so take it in that spirit. CAT Exam Online Coaching will must help you to cracking a CAT Exam.

During this last month make certain that you get right into a addiction of attempting the mock tests/ CAT papers at the time of your slot. This will ensure which you are not drowsy or lethargic on the time of the actual CAT examination.

2. Solve Previous year Question Papers of CAT

Apart from the mock exams, fixing the preceding year question papers is every other key that let you tame the CAT nicely.

3. Prepare final notes for instruction

This is the remaining time you have to prepare the notes and those might be the revision notes. You might be below extra strain and tension within the remaining week and consequently you want to be prepared to study the ideas and formulation in best manner. Neither the book nor the formulae list purchased from the market can assist or will be effective as the only created via you. Prepare evaluate sheets or components sheets for short revision.

4. Focus in your strengths

These 30 days are for ultimate-minute evaluate of any idea that you may be unsure of. You must now not pass on gaining knowledge of new topics or spend hours in getting the concepts clean which you have simply now not touched till now. While it's far continually correct to learn something you can, keep away from the temptation to take in too much in too little time. Use this time often to construct on the know-how you already have as opposed to attempting to gain new knowledge in unknown subjects. However, in case you believe that you want input on particular regions, do search for idea specific supply of facts in preference to checking in with every body you locate. While you do CAT Best Online Coaching for CAT Preparation, you will identify your strengths and weakness to take your preparation to next level.

5. Follow the Elimination Rule

CAT consists of terrible marking, for answering a incorrect query, 1 mark could be deducted. However, the terrible marking is not relevant for the non-MCQs. In this type of state of affairs, the scholars can take a calculated threat in the exam. They have to get themselves familiar with taking alternatives with out solving. Sometimes, the alternatives given in a question are such which you won't even need to resolve it. You can really take away any choice thru easy common sense and common sense. This could probably avoid any wastage of time. Don’t be scared to take risks. Many people may name this fluke, however there’s a deep good judgment at the back of this and you need practice to master this artwork.

6. Develop a proper technique to attacking the paper

Make a approach of attempting CAT at the examination day. You should understand how you could make the quality use of 180 mins, what form of questions have to you strive in the paper, which all questions to attempt first and which all later.

7. Do visit your CAT Exam Centre as soon as

It is crucial which you go to your exam venue 2-3 days prior to the examination simply to become aware of the path to be taken and the envisioned time of travel.

8. Take excellent care of your health and thoughts

Listen for your favourite track, exit with friends for an evening walk, take sound sleep and devour well. We understand the pressure of writing CAT and moreover making a profession however health is greater critical. Part a while for observe and further for play. Also Read :

What after CAT? Difference between CAT and GMAT

[inside-the-mind-of-a-lunatic]

Important Tips (Exam Cracking)

Many of you you will l ask,, how do I know this, to that I say, I've lived both lives I've lived both live in some point in my life, I'm familiar with both, so now you take away some ideas from my life...

don't do things at night set a goal to do things till 12 and then go to bed as that time arrived,

make a timetable for all the work which needs to be done for the next day in advance be strict in governing your time, go to bed immediately even if you have work left,

take a nap for about 6 hrs., then take a  2hrs nap again in the next day to completely fill the required 8 hrs. of rest.

Attempt all questions or try to... only focus on questions and less on concepts on the finale months.

You need to fetch some fresh air every now and then, you know as we refer it to as touching grass, 

you gotta do some exercises daily keep your body in a fresh state do some mediation too

and at last, believe in yourself...

[jaxparagas]

Yellow Siopao

I use your Yellow Siopao stress ball more other now. God I am so stressed. It started in September 2002. When I was feeling the exhaustion of work. and when Dad died before my son’s birthday. I appreciated you listening to me then. But I was also afraid hearing me out stressed you out to. Even then I knew you had your moments too

those nights you would randomly say you feel depressed. Or say you love being alone. Or you love sunday afternoons that were gloomy. I always asked if you wanted to talk about it. You often said no. I didn’t push it. I said to myself I’ll wait for you to open up. I blame that on my psych nursing training. To be patient and wait for them to open up. Should I have pushed it? kept asking you about it till you open up? I find myself often questioning that.

I have my own problems too. I wanted to talk to you about them. But I sensed you had your own shit to deal with. I didn’t want to add to that. So I kept a smile and acted normally. 

When my contact with my client ended at HelloRache. I was partly stressed. Of course for the lost financial gain from that. But I thought hey, it must be God’s way of ligthening my load. So I’d have more time for you, nigel, and everything else. 

At the time, hearing about your exitement learning many new things lit a fire in me. Reignited the joy I had back in college. The challenge, the stress and rewards of always aiming to be the best. I never really felt that same positive pressure when I started working. I only felt that in nursing.

So from October onwards, I wanted to focus on nurse related trainings. and start my application abroad. 

I had high hopes. I wanted to build a secure future that included you in it.

On our date nights, I wanted to have those serious talks with you. About our future together. but so often we talked about you and your day. In school in duty and everything else. Which I loved. I loved that you loved studying and how focused you are. by the time I felt it was my turn, we were so tired and exhausted, we would often fall asleep. 

I said to myself. Maybe next time. Maybe next time. If only I knew, we were nearing the end then. 

You weren’t feeling well. Physically. Emotionally, mentally. I tried my best to be there for you. I asked. i always asked. but you never opened up. I didn’t want to force you. The serious talks I wanted to have about us, I couldn’t bring up. Afraid to ovewhelm you and your thoughts. 

I wished we talked. I wished you opened up. My worries about you kept growing. and growing. 

and then, the delays in my application kept being delayed or pushed backed. I wanted to tell someone about it. I wanted to tell you most of all. But I had to considered what was already going on in your mind. 

You broke up with me in Umingan. You broke up with me in your Final Exams.

You asked me to stay. But I don’t know what for. Because I tried to be there for you. But you kept me away like I was the plague. And that hurted. 

Day of worrying. And praying. God! Please help me. Help her. I love her and I just want her to be happy. Please Lord tell me what to do cause shes not telling me the things that matter. We talked about your day like usual. but we didn’t talked about the things that mattered. Your thoughts and feelings most of all. And that hurted too.

Still I prayed. God. Give her peace. Make her happpy again. Because I don’t think I can. Not Like this. 

My love tank. 5-6 years it took to patch up and fill. Took a month or two for you to almost empty and make new holes. 

Its not your fault. I chose you. I chose to be there for you knowing the risks. I chose without hesitation. I chose to be all in. 

When you said Goodbye. For the last time. I didnt reply.

It took awhile for it to really sink in. 

Dec 16, 2022. I finally broke down and cried. I wailed into my pillow. Like when a person died and you’re at a funeral. I wailed and felt it all go out of me. drain from me. Like when I caught nigel’s mom post coital with another man. I wailed because I finally understood you let me go. The death of a dream. A hope. A future with you. 

So much happened those last months I couldn’t tell you but wanted to. Cause I thought we were a team. The burnout I was starting to feel from being the breadwinner at home. The frustration from my lazy ass siblings. The rejection from my 1st UK application and the rejection from 2 suceeding UK interviews. 

I wanted to tell you. But you didn’t seem to care. You had your own things to deal with. I was older. I was stronger. 

I guess it wouldn’t have been fair to rely on you as a partner. I never showed you my weakness too. Cause I didn’t want you to feel you couldn’t count on me.

but maybe it didn’t matter. If it did, we should have talked. About you. About me. Because that’s how its supposed to be. A relationship where we could depend on each other. 

Now Im talking to myself again. Writing to you. And you will never know. 

I finally got a job offer in the UK, finally! 

The first person I wanted to tell about it was you. I found out about Dec 22. but by then you were already gone. 

I was happy . But sad at the same time. I remember the dream I had with you died. 

December was so miserable for me. My Last christmas and New year. Fcking miserable. 

I hope you had a better one. I hope you at least were happy during the holidays. I really do.

2023, Im still stressed. waiting for my flight. March is the expected deployment date. 

I’m just counting the days. Squeezing this yellow stress ball. With this burning passion to be a Nurse again. I want to leave this cold and empty city. and never come back.

That’s the truth. I desire for a fresh start. And drown myself in my Nursing Career. 

While I squeeze this stress ball. To keep me sane. to keep me going

[kun-summacumlaude]

SUMMA CUM LAUDE? #17

Happy New Year!!!

I could have started this post with so many things considering I abandoned you all for close to a year. (8 months is closer to a year than you think). Honestly I’m sorry for the terrible inconsistency, once the strike got called off the rest of the semester happened so quickly, I had no time to do anything but school because I didn’t pick up a book for 6 months and all of a sudden, exams were knocking on the door. I was in soup.

Strike Recap

I took a data science course and built an improved version of an old web app I made for CS50. I did a lot of drumming and singing. That’s about it.

Back to School

So I just read my last post. I sounded so ungrateful when I was talking about getting a 4.88 just because it wasn’t the 4.93 I had hoped for. Plus I said everyone should study during the holiday, LOOOOOL. The current holiday I said I’m not reading anything o, even though the initial plan was to study. I’m enjoying Breaking Bad a little too much to study right now.

I don’t like how I can’t put things in detail due to my inconsistency. I PROMISE to do better this semester. First week back in school, we took our EEG213 test and before I submitted that day, I knew I was done for. I actually told my siblings I could get 5/20 and was hoping for a 10/20. After that I wrote a bunch of other tests and they were all better. Some were shaky but I didn’t feel hopeless after any other one. MEG211 was terrible though, it was Isometric to Orthographic projection and I used the wrong side as the Front. My lecturer barely came to class all semester and he never mentioned the rule for deciding your front elevation. A day before the test, he sent the slide for that particular topic to us and we followed the pattern in the slide, that was my undoing. There was a rule and not a “pattern”. My desire was to get all As but after concluding my tests, I wasn’t confident, only hopeful.

When tests were done, the only things left were exams. 300-500 Level started two weeks before 100-200 Level. The initial rumour was that we would write in January and I was happy but after concluding exams on the 23rd of December, I was so happy that didn't happen. Before exams, I saw the Unilag overnight culture in full flow. Also, the World Cup was happening at the same time. And the last issue, where to study. Last exam I was at a private hostel, I never thought about where to study but being on campus, it was a problem.

Studying in my hostel during the World Cup was challenging because as a football fan who stayed away from the screen at Jaja's Quadrangle, I couldn't block out the noise and of course I would want to know what was happening. That was one place to study, on my bed in the room. The second place was the office at Arts. During exams I just did not go there at all because it was packed, I'm not the only one that goes there and I'm down the pecking order if I'm being honest, it wasn't going to work. So I asked a friend in 400 Level Finance where he studied and he said AKT. AKT isn't bad, you just need a good spot but it wasn't going to work for me in the long run (I had to eat, toilet and all that. The distance was too much), I went there only two times. That's three place's now. A fourth place which never took off was my relative's office at Architecture, he was busy outside so he wasn't available. And finally, the last minute place I am really thankful for: The Faculty.

I don't know of it was deliberate but Room 115 was always free, it really mattered to me during the exams, plus they began to open classes for overnight which meant I could stay and study till 11pm which was how I liked to do if. Electrical and Civil classes but on weekends they were locked which gave me serious problems. Weekends were terrible and I had to manage my room. We Thank God in the end.

Overnight Culture

I am not a fan. Simple and short. I prefer to study through the day and sleep well at night so I can start my day in the morning, works much better for me. Lots of people study overnight and I just can't. Do what works for you, it's all self discipline. Overnight is also an avenue to deceive yourself. If you can't focus on your books around a particular person or people, don't try to study with them, you'll waste your time and regret it in the end. Important PS: Stop Littering! Overnight guys were so dirty gosh. And the classes had bins. Sad. I almost forgot. The scary thing about overnight was the consumption of Energy Drinks. The rate of consumption was crazy, I'm sure they sold thousands of bottles during exams. If you can't stay up at night to study even with prior sleep, help yourself by studying during the day. It was honestly scary to see because those drinks are sugar.

Examinations

I started my exams on the 17th of December, MEG211 being the first paper. It was 3 hours long, enough time in my opinion but I was under so much tension I made mistakes in three different drawings so I had to do all three of them twice. This affected my Isometric Drawing, I couldn't complete my Isometric Circle. It hurt but I had to move on because I had 9 other papers to prepare for. —Before I move on, it pays to study through the semester and not try to work magic through overnight. Put in the effort. — I enjoyed my sleep during exams, I didn't even use an alarm except for the last day because it was different from others. Two exams on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, one on Thursday and three on Friday (7am). EEG213, the bane of my semester was actually really great. The exam was one of my best papers. Hopefully the results match. Wednesday was crazy, we had Strength of Materials and Engineering Mechanics back to back. It was a lot of writing and drawing my goodness, but both exams went well. After Wednesday I relaxed a bit because I was done with the scary part of exams. Little did I know, EEG211 people were about to do me dirty shege.

So Friday the special day was special because we had EEG211 and EEG231 at 7am, you'd start one and do the other in one sitting. Being the serious student I am and wanting few minutes to prepare for my paper at 9am, I got to DLI very early that day. I logged in, did everything and started my paper. On the first page I saw questions on Sinusoidal Steady State Analysis (which we were not taught! It wasn't mentioned in class) so I skipped those questions and did the 9/15 on that page that I knew. On getting to the second page. I heard the Invigilator say "PART OF THE RULES IS THAT YOU CANNOT GO BACK". EXCUSE ME WHAT?!! Something actually left me the moment I heard that, it was like I saw the A flying away from me because I was so prepared for everything we were taught. I couldn't believe the Lecturers would take away the option to go back to questions you skipped in an EXAMINATION. We has 35 questions and 25 minutes, of course I wouldn't want to spend a second on questions I'm not sure of if there are questions I could answer in much quicker time. They gave us little time and took away our flexibility without informing us and I guess it was sweet to them, it made them happy because they all say they want us to do well but they act differently. What even made me more upset was the Invigilator saying "Part of examination is to read the instructions". Here me out, THERE WERE ZERO INSTRUCTIONS ON THE SCREEN. It was just login and start, nothing said about anything, we were set up real bad. And in the heat of it all, before I moved to page 3, it was 15-15-10. I checked all 15 questions to be sure I didn't skip anything, on getting to the third page, I saw that I actually skipped a 7th question. I couldn't believe I checked twice and still missed it. This whole thing flattened me. In the end I answered 28/35 questions, let's say it's over 60. That means I'm fighting for a 48/60. At this point I don't know how I'm going to get an A but I'll just continue to pray and trust in God. We had two tests, first was meh and second was good. I attended all classes and did all assignments so we'll see.

EEG231 was also a nonsense exam really. 40 questions and 20 minutes. Made no sense. I guessed a lot and I also have to just wait hopefully that this result also surprises me. Asides these two, the rest were okay.

Second semester starts in less than a week, I will be here preparing myself mentally while I complete Breaking Bad.

Turned 20 yesterday, Grateful to God.

I've attached a picture that shows my progress in how I felt about each course from time to time based on exam reading. The last ones were just before the exam. The ones with arrows shows a change after the exam. I've put two Bs there but I pray God surprises me.

Bye for now. I’m thinking one every two months. Don’t want to put up short posts every week you know.

[missingspidey]

discovering every year a new disease (that has no full treatment, just things to MAYBE control that) since I was 11 is not something I had planned for my life

the list goes like

Chondromalacia? at age 10, now stage 2 - might turn into osteoporosis

POS? age 11, fucking me up since then, bleed for 30 days, had to take a bc that made me feel sick for more than a year until my doctor said "okay, we might need to change it"

Steatosis? age 12, been doing mri every 6 months for that since then, probably the reason why birth control makes me so sick, also, the pill might have worsen it

diabetes scare? age 13, the thought of having it scares me till this day (scared of needles)

Tendinitis on the shoulder? age 14, been feeling pain since than baby, no physiotherapy can stop the pain of this bitch FOR SOME REASON

had 4 years of pure peace with just constant exams to try to stabilize my liver, pos and tendinitis than at fucking 18 IT HITS ME WITH A COMBO OF

- endometriosis, yk the pill you want to stop to finally be able to talk about starting T? FUCK IT YOU NEED IT TO STOP YOUR UTERUS INSIDES OF GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE

- high colesterol, the healthy food you've been eating for more than a year and the gym you hit everyday? FUCK IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT TROWING DOUBLE WHAT THE MAXIMUM IS

- mental health? GO TO HELL, AND NOW YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY TO BUY THE MEDS OR REVISIT YOUR PSYCHIATRIC YOU MORON

just got the results of my blood tests and there's no way my health declined so much on the span of a year, I've been going to the gym, eating well, getting better sleep, I really can't understand why

I fucking hate the body that I'm for gods sake, a fucking hormone I don't even want keeps messing w everything. I've never shown a single signal of endometriosis and now I have a start of it???? and the way of treating it is with birth control, but this shit hell of a pill is messing with my liver????? my cholesterol is skyrocketing????? I WEIGHT LESS THAN 120 POUND MAN WHY

[madillhethen]

For the life of me, I’m sorry for posting artwork with bad resolution. On my iPad it’s huge but when I post online it gets shrunk 😭.

Ahhhh I just posted an artwork, and some stuff on this blog. I’m not trying to flood the Emiya tags so I’ll post the sketch I did tomorrow.

On the bright side, the last 2 sketches I did took only 3-5 hrs instead of my usual 10 hrs and that’s for two people so :’D, m-maybe I’m getting better?

[shinpredicts]

Pick a Luxury Fashion Brand Reading - January to March 2022 Reading

This is a general pick a card reading.

How to do this reading:

1. Stay calm. Take a few deep breaths if needed. Be in a quiet, comfortable place. Don't get distracted.

2. Look at the picture below, which has the luxury fashion brands. Pick the one that calls out to you most. Do not automatically pick one just because it's your favorite brand.

3. If you feel that more than 1 brand calls out to you, then feel free to pick another one or two more. I would not recommend picking more than 3.

4. Remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

1. Saint Laurent

January to March 2022 will feel very refreshed, yet very busy for you. New projects, clients, or situations will be coming to you. You may be starting a new job or taking on new responsibilities within your life. You may even be welcoming a new pet or a baby during this time. You will feel kind fo burdened sometimes due to the amount of things that you seem to need to do. There will be also many deadlines coming and many urgent matters that you will have to deal with.

If you are a student, you will feel like you are very pressured to achieve more or you will feel the need to try to boost your grades in this semester. If you are not a student, you will still feel stress elsewhere. This could be at work or at home or within your community.

You will probably feel more burnt out in March as the excitement of new things wear off and you are faced with more deadlines or expectations. If you slack off during the two previous months, you will feel the consequences in March or early April 2022.

2. Fendi

From January to March 2022, you may be welcoming a new relationship or forming new social circles or friends. This is a time where you will find yourself networking a lot or going out with friends more often or if that's not possible then you'll be connecting with people online.

You will feel more sociable during this period. You may also want to change your image up like change your style, cut your hair or dye it, eat cleaner and healthier, work out more and etc. You will want to also do some spring cleaning so out with the old and in with the new.

For some of you, you may even go abroad for travel or for studies. You may have some sort of foreign element within your life like making friends who are foreigners, meeting new people who are foreigners, or even learning a new language.

You may need to be careful this time because your happiness can lead you to gaining weight. You might be enjoying yourself too much that you overindulge in snacks, alcohol, or food. You may also gain a few bad habits during this period too.

3. miu miu

January to March 2022 will feel sort of nostalgic for you. You will want to revisit the past. You will also want to connect with people that you've lost touch with in the past, maybe like an ex partner or an ex best friend. You might even gain more insight about your own past like unearthing a family secret or knowing more about your past life.

January to March 2022 will also be a time for you to make amends with the past. You will be more open to forgiving others and to forgiving yourself during this time. You will also do more self-reflection during this period. You may even pick up some self-help tips, read some books about self-care or counselling or therapy, and start journalling or meditating.

At around mid to end of March 2022 and even till April 2022, you will shift towards looking forward to the future and will feel more optimistic about it.

4. Hermès

January to March 2022 will be a very chaotic period for you. Many things that you want to do will be obstructed. Many things that you thought would happen around this time would not. They may be cancelled or delayed; for example, you might have accepted a new job position that would start in January 2022, but then closer to January 2022, you get news that the employer no longer has the budget to hire you so unfortunately you have lost this position. You may experience online orders or shipments that become lost or somehow don't get delivered to you on time.

This is also a period where you are prone to making mistakes, even ones where you thought you'd never make. You will have to be careful when you fill out forms or hand in anything to anyone. There are chances that you probably have messed up somewhere and will need to re-do the forms or something again or just accept it as is.

This is also not a great time for you to be writing exams or having to do some interview or applying for a visa etc. During these times you will face a lot of obstacles and have things denied.

This is a period for you to lay low and be careful. The past is also likely going to come to you during this time, so if you've wronged someone before then they'll come back for you or if you've made some mistake before then it'll come back to you. Things that you did in the past will also be examined during this time, so people might bring up something that you did in the past and wasn't discussed or crticized but then this time around somehow it's negatively seen. If you are in a public facing role, then you will have really high chances of someone in the past sharing something about you online, which will spread like wild fire.

You will also have to be careful of your words. You will easily get into arguments with others or be offended by others. People will also like to pick at your words during this time and use them against you. If you post things online or talk to others online, people may even screenshot and use those screenshots against you. Rumors can also start about you, especially if you have some sort of following online.

You may even get into a lawsuit from January to March 2021 or something related to the law will affect you. You might get fined for some noise infringement or for illegal parking. You might somehow be sued by your former employer or you might be served with court papers by your spouse.

5. Chanel

January 2022 to March 2022 will be a relaxing time for you. This will feel like a slow period for you. You can finally take a breather from all the chaos or problems you've faced from the previous year or previous few months.

This is a time where you will be able to plan for the future. You will also be able to take the time to spend with friends, family, your crush or partner. You will finally get the quality time you've been looking for.

You will also probably learn to enjoy your life more. You might pick up a new hobby or two. You might even learn something new too. You might also start a new career or school, or move to a different place around this time. Things will start out pretty slow for you as you have time to adjust to what's around you.

6. Louis Vuitton

January 2022 to March 2022 will be a tougher time for your body. You might feel very physically or mentally drained. Some health problems in the past will probably re-surface. If you've delayed seeing a doctor or some medical professional about some issue, now is the time to go see them because your situation probably needs to be addressed.

Some of you may feel very anxious or depressed. You will probably need to seek professional help to help with your mental health. There may not be something bad that happens from January to March 2022, yet you will somehow feel very blue.

You may also experience some pain from January to March 2022. You may experience some heartache, likely from ending a romantic or a platonic relationship. You may also lose someone who is dear to you or experience some sort of loss during this period.

Others may experience trouble sleeping or have issues with their weight or diet. You may find yourself unable to sleep until like 2 am or later and then you wake at like 6 am. You might even find yourself sleeping during irregular times. Conversely, you might even sleep even more during this time like 11 hours plus per day. You may also gain more weight or somehow lose a lot of weight during this time.

From January to March 2022, you are advised to really take care of your body. It is important to stick to a healthy routine and to seek help with you need it.

[studyywithmee]

16/12/2021

Woke up at 6 today and I finished a lesson called Electronic Spreadsheet and then attended only one classes like usual and for some reason the school was till 4.45p.m the fact tmr is our exam like when the hell are we suppose to study then? Uh yea anyways then i completed another lesson after 6p.m.. Tomorrow is my first exam IT(info technology) which is hard for me! And I should go to school to attend that exam(I am going to school after 3 months!). And now i am nervous! Well then that's it for today's long day!

Stay safe! Keep urself hydrated and finally YOU CAN DO IT!

Why the hell do I have these many sticky notes? Well I am really lazy to Remove them at probably will do that after exams ig!?