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crowdvscritic · 9 months ago

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round up // FEBRUARY 24

In some ways, February is a manifestation of Crowd vs. Critic.

Each year Vulture updates an article called "Which January at the Movies Was the Most January?" When I stumbled upon it this month, I couldn’t believe how closely it captured a phenomenon I was already thinking about: “January at the movies is a tale of two seasons. It’s the month where Oscar contenders traditionally open nationwide, allowing moviegoers across the country to experience the best that Hollywood has to offer. But for that reason, it’s also the month where the rest of the industry tries to stay out of the way, offering a mixture of counterprogramming and low-risk fare — we’re talking horror films, inexplicable sequels, and lots of movies about grim middle-aged men firing guns.”

From there, Vulture attempts to rank every January in recent memory by their bad movie slates, but my follow up question is, why stop at January? “Dumpuary” does not end January 31st—I’m not even sure it ends on February 29th. Pardon my French, but I’ve watched a lot of doggerel this month so mediocre it’s not worth recommending here. However, February is also Oscar prep season. I’ve spent the month reading more deeply about the nominated films and planning my annual Oscar watch party. And because I’m caught up on nominated films and there are so few new releases worth checking out, I’m creating a watchlist of classics I’ve missed. This year I’ve decided to dig into films recommended in TCM’s The Essential Directors by Sloan De Forest, which I recommended during Dumpuary 2022. I just finished the book’s top picks from Steven Spielberg's filmography, and before the year’s end, my goal is to complete their recommendations from Mel Brooks, Frank Capra, George Cukor, Michael Curtiz, John Ford, Howard Hawks, Alfred Hitchcock, George Lucas, Ida Lupino, Oscar Micheaux, Sidney Lumet, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Elaine May, Leo McCarey, Vincente Minnelli, Martin Scorsese, Douglas Sirk, Preston Sturges, W.S. Van Dyke, Billy Wilder, and Robert Wise. (Full disclosure: for most of them, I only have one or two titles to go.)

So please enjoy a Round Up of recommendations featuring several of those directors and Britney Spears, as well as a book of interviews with Oscar winners and a Bennifer marathon. Plus, a Leap Day bonus with a Finnish flair!

February Crowd-Pleasers

1. Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Because sometimes you don’t want to laugh with something sophisticated—sometimes you want to laugh at something stupid. After years of my brother recommending something I wouldn’t peg as my taste, I finally checked out this spoof of 8 Mile, American Idol, The Ring, Signs, and more things that were extremely popular in 2003. I doubt future generations will find much to appreciate here, but this Millennial got a kick from the nostalgia and the stupid humor courtesy of Anna Faris Regina Hall, Leslie Nielsen, Simon Rex, and Charlie Sheen. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10

2. Catwoman (2004)

This movie is not good, but is it objectively way better and way more fun than The Flash? I’d rather have this silly, superficially-girl-power trash than that self-serious Flash trash any day. The Razzies did not deserve this movie! Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Bennifer Marathon!

It's a real If You Give a Mouse a Cookie situation. After you go to a screening of This Is Me…Now: A Love Story (2024), you're going to need to watch the behind-the-scenes documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told and listen to Jennifer Lopez’s new album This Is Me…Now on repeat. You're also going to decide you need to watch Jersey Girl (2004) and Halftime (2022) because you can never have too much of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez! (I also watched Gigli and What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but these Round Ups only focus on pop culture I recommend.) What can I say? I’m rooting for love!

I reviewed J. Lo’s new music film for ZekeFilm, which explores her public history in a personal, musical romantic comedy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

4. Crossroads (2002)

Zoe Saldana camping in curlers: To me, that is cinema! Like Catwoman, this Lifetime-movie-meets-Britney-Spears-star-vehicle is not good, but it is a perfect sleepover movie. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5/10

5. The Beekeeper (2024)

I look forward to 30 years from now when I am a Turner Classic Movies host and introduce this movie 12 times in a single calendar year:

January: Star of the Month Jason Statham

February: Star of the Month Josh Hutcherson

March: 31 Days of Oscar - Movies that would be Oscar-nominated if the Academy had a Best Stunts category

April: Special Theme - Vigilante Justice (Lee Marvin makes an appearance, too)

May: Mother's Day marathon (between The Manchurian Candidate and Psycho)

June: Birthday Tribute - Phylicia Rashad (leading into a Creed marathon)

July: Guest Programmer Pick - Bona fide action star is promoting his new artistic action blockbuster and calls Statham one of his inspirations

August: Summer Under the Stars - Day 23 devoted to Minnie Driver (airing before Good Will Hunting)

September: Birthday Tribute - Jeremy Irons (airing after The Mission)

October: Spotlight - Secret organizations (showing right before The Parallax View)

November: Diane Warren Tribute - she finally won her Oscar for her theme for The Beekeeper 2

December: Primetime Theme - Bees (in marathon with Akeelah and the Bee, The Bee Movie, The Secret Life of Bees, The Wicker Man, and for some reason Beetlejuice)

Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

More February Crowd-Pleasers: Cold Pursuit (2019) is the platonic ideal of a Liam Neeson’s formulaic thrillers // I would’ve been obsessed with the martial arts mayhem of Bulletproof Monk (2003) if I had seen it when I was 12 // Not everything in the corporate satire Head Office (1985) works, but what does is savage // When Book of the Month announced The Helsinki Affair by Anna Pitoniak (2023) as a selection just a few weeks after my first trip to Finland, I immediately knew my November pick. This Jason Bourne/Jack Ryan-esque spy thriller didn’t disappoint. (More on my trip to Finland below!) // Though the politics of The Ghost and the Darkness (1996) have aged poorly, it’s the most thrilling movie about killing lions I’ve seen since The Lion King

February Critic Picks

1. The Teachers’ Lounge (2023)

If you’ve ever survived an anxiety-fueled environment driven by politics, prejudice, or, frankly, middle schoolers, Germany’s nominee for Best International Feature at the Oscars will ring true. Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

2. 50 Oscar Nights: Iconic Stars & Filmmakers on Their Career-Defining Wins by Dave Karger (2024)

Let me repeat what I said last month: The Turner Classic Movies Library has yet to miss! In TCM host Dave Karger’s new book, he interviews 50 different winners from Oscar ceremonies as far back as 1962 about what the award means to them and how it has impacted their careers. This breezy read digs into the inspirations, outfits, and relationships of Nicole Kidman, John Legend, Rita Moreno, Meryl Streep, Sofia Coppola, and more, and you can find all of the films featured on my Letterboxd list.

3. Double Feature - Legal Dramas: The Verdict (1982) + Class Action (1991)

In The Verdict (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10), Paul Newman is a jaded ambulance chaser who happens on a medical malpractice suit that might be his best case in years. In Class Action (8.5/10 // 8/10), Gene Hackman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio are a father and daughter facing off in a courtroom centered on a car manufacturer’s potential negligence. Both are excellent legal genre examples and excellent opportunities to let their actors cook.

4. Good Reads

Lately, I’ve been reading about…

…2023 in Review:

“Biggest Hollywood Winners and Losers 2023: From Margot Robbie to Marvel,” HollywoodReport.com (2023)

“Taylor Swift Is TIME's 2023 Person of the Year,” time.com (2023)

“Goodbye DC Extended Universe: We Hardly Knew You (Yet We Knew You Too Well),” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

…our current Awards Season:

“Critic’s Notebook: A Flailing, Fun-Free 2024 Golden Globes Telecast,” HollywoodReporter.com (2024)

“The Golden Globes Should Just Forget About Hosts,” VanityFair.com (2024)

“Barbie Is Adapted? Maestro Original? Let’s Fix the Screenplay Categories,” NYTimes.com (2024)

“Anatomy of a Fail: Inside France’s Dysfunctional Oscar Committee,” variety.com (2024)

…big cultural shifts:

“A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement,” TheAtlantic.com (2021)

“The Great Freight-Train Heists of the 21st Century,” NYTimes.com (2024)

"A ‘Failure to Launch’: Why Young People are Having Less Sex,” LATimes.com (2023)

“From Swiping to Sexting: The Enduring Gender Divide in American Dating and Relationships,” AmericanSurveyCenter.org (2023)

…and a hodge podge of other things:

“An Oral History of ‘Washington’s Dream,’ the Best SNL Sketch in Years,” IndieWire.com (2023)

“Panera’s 'Lemonade That Kills You' Is Really a Story About Our Broken Country," slate.com (2023)

“Annie Meyers-Shyer’s Holiday-Decorating Handbook,” NYMag.com (2023)

“Madeleine Albright Has Sent Some Very Spicy Messages Through Her Accessories,” InStyle.com (2021)

“The Crown and What the U.K. Royal Family Would Like Us to Forget,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“What Did Dakota Johnson Actually Say?” HollywoodReporter.com (2024)

“Why Deleting and Destroying Finished Movies Like Coyote vs Acme Should Be a Crime,” RogerEbert.com (2024)

More February Critic Picks: Even if Love Affair (1939) hadn’t inspired An Affair to Remember and Sleepless in Seattle, it would still be an all-time romance // In Lured (1947), Lucille Ball gets dramatic as she looks for love and her best friend’s killer // No Way Out (1950) is a stellar character drama and thriller thanks to Sidney Poitier and Richard Widmark // You can’t be sore at the heightened emotion in Manhattan Melodrama (1934)—it’s right in the name! // The Trouble With Angels (1966) is The Holdovers but for the girlies // Gosford Park (2001) isn’t an Agatha Christie adaptation but it’s a worthy imitator // The Bigamist (1953) proves thrillers can be short and sweet // I love a juicy behind-the-scenes melodrama like The Bad and the Beautiful (1952) // Are you surprised that The Color Purple (1985) moved me to tears? // Though it took me a few scenes to acclimate to the rhythms of the Company National Tour, are you surprised the music of Stephen Sondheim won me over?

Leap Day Bonus

In 2020, my Leap Day Bonus was a Jonas Brothers music video I’d forgotten to mention in my January Round Up. This year, I’m using it make up for forgetting to mention…my entire trip to Finland? (I'm blaming it on the fog of the holidays and Awards Season kicking into high gear when I was writing my October Round Up.) These are the top cultural spots my sister and I found in Helsinki and Rovaniemi…

Temppeliaukion Kirkko - In their Ultimate Travel book, Lonely Planet calls this one of the top 500 places to see in the world. I’m not sure I’d rank it that high (even if I’ve yet to see a lot of the world), but it was worth a stop. Built in 1969 into a rock that split during the Ice Age, it is an architectural feat with amazing acoustics.

Anteneum Art Museum - This national gallery houses Finnish art classics

Finnkino Movie Theater - The real highlight of checking out Finland’s cinema was not watching Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny with Finnish and Swedish subtitles but it’s insane candy bar!

Santa Claus Village - If you can embrace a tourist trap, this one is worth the trip to the Arctic Circle. Meet Santa, feed his reindeer, and get lost in the kitschy gift shops in this acres-wide complex

Dog sledding - We hopped on a buggy pulled by eight of the goodest dogs courtesy of Bearhill Husky—a dream come true!

Arktikum - This science museum in Rovaniemi dives into the history and culture of Lapland (northern Finland)

Marimekko - This Finnish designer is chock full of mod florals, and we budget travelers found great deals at the outlet in Helsinki

Porvoo - This little town just a bus ride from Helsinki is filled with picturesque wooden houses, cutesy shops, and historical home museums

We visited Finland in the autumn, which is tourist off-season, but we’re not sure why—it’s beautiful! Whenever you choose to go, be sure to indulge in a korvapuusti ja kahvi (cinnamon roll and coffee) in one of their many kahvilat (coffee shops)!

Also in February…

On KMOV, I did my best to sum up why Casablanca is a perfect Valentine’s movie, and then I squeezed in a short review of Argylle, which is not so much a perfect Valentine’s movie.

I also reviewed Argylle in more depth for ZekeFilm, and the piece turned into a lament for for its failure to follow through on a great premise.

I added two more entries to my Best Picture Project this month! I continued on with 1944's Going My Way, which is a feel-good story about the power of music starring Bing Crosby, and last year’s winner Everything Everywhere All at Once, which is a weird story about the power of googly eyes.

Photo credits: 50 Oscar Nights, Good Reads. Finland my own. All others IMDb.com.

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mochinomnoms · 27 days ago

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say you can't sleep, baby, I know

NSFW!Trey x Reader

Synopsis

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? You're trying to rile him up, right? He's supposed to be the responsible, big brother of Heartslabyul, he tries so hard. So, so hard to stay out of trouble and have a normal day-to-day life. Trey used to pride himself on his levelheadedness and restraint, but that all went out the window into a swan dive into the lake when he saw you in his bed in that damn one-piece. “Happy Birthday Trey~”

[wc} - 5,258

[cw/tags] - afab!gn!reader (im sorry folks it's all i know how to write still), NRC is a university in this, domesticity kink, birthday sex, breeding kink (sue me), oral (giving & receiving), trey can be a little mean as a treat

[notes] - i apologize for the person i've become after seeing trey's new b-day card. it does things to me and this is 100% self-indulgent for me. also, tried to use very neutral descriptors for reader so tell me how that went and if it reads well! lastly, the outfit the reader wears is based on sabrina carpenter's outfits from her short n' sweet tour, specifically the baby doll one!

Written while listening to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter, I recommend listening to it while reading :)

Let’s consider exactly the type of person Trey is.

Ever since he’s started school at NRC, he’s always taken a bit of a parental role in Heartslabyul, even before he became vice housewarden. Even Cater would joke about it when they first became friends:

“You’re, like, a total big bro! O-M-G, no! You’re like a dad friend! I’m totes willing to bet that the incoming freshmen are gonna slip up! Call you Dad or something!”

Evidently, when Riddle came into the picture and Trey was appointed his vice, Cater was proven right. He didn’t mind it too much, despite what others might think.

He liked the familiarity of it, being the oldest at home, it translated well into his position at Heartslabyul, and it came with the added bonus of being able to minimize any chaos that arose.

That was his main goal, especially with Riddle’s temper during his freshman and at the beginning of his sophomore year. Honestly, he had phenomenal conflict resolution skills, and he just wanted to make his life as easy as possible.

Everyone at this school liked to make that difficult, though, especially the freshmen of this year.

“Oh fu—I mean sh—dam—fuc—shi—FIDDLESTICKS!”

“Dude, just say fuck, why you gotta say the corniest shit—OW—Treyyy! Deuce hit me!”

Deuce had a guilty look on his face as Trey looked up from his notebook to raise a brow at the two.

“W-well, Ace cussed, so he has to put money in the swear jar!”

“Aw what! Come on Trey!” Ace whined, shoving Deuce’s face to the side as the latter grunted and started pulling at his cheeks and arm. “Riddle’s not here, he’ll never know, so I don’t gotta! Don’t make me!”

Trey simply smirked and gestured to the jar on the fireplace mantle, helpfully available to everyone in the lounge.

“You know the rules, bud, two thaurmarks for the f-bomb and a .50 cent for the other.”

Ace tossed his head back and groaned, begrudgingly dragging himself over to the jar as he dug around his pocket for change.

“Don’t be rude to your father, Ace.” A few giggles and snorts vibrated amongst the small group studying in the lounge as you wagged a finger at Ace, Grim squinting angrily at the book in your lap.

Your lips quivered as you hid a laugh, jokingly chastising the ginger.

“No need to be a brat.”

Trey had to withhold a snort at that comment, rich coming from you. He knew better than anyone that you could be as much of a brat as you were another parental figure.

“Oh ha-ha, very funny, Prefect. What, does that make you, Mom or Dad 2?” Ace stuck his tongue out at you as you grinned and focused back on Grim.

“Okay Grimmy, so remember, what alchemy recipes need mandrake root?”

Watching from the corner of his eye, Trey watched fondly as you murmured soft words to Grim. It reminded him of his Mom talking to his siblings after a nightmare, or of his Dad after one of them would get hurt in the kitchen.

Soft, soothing, parental. You’d make an excellent parent one day.

Trey felt himself get warm at the thought, adjusting himself in his seat and looking back at his musicology notes. He couldn’t sing very well, but he can memorize notes, and that’s what the upcoming exam was focused on.

That’s what he needed to focus on, not the way you cradled Grim against you like a parent with their child. Focus on his alchemy flashcards, and not the way you cleaned up the mess on the table so you could bring everyone a tray of snacks he’d prepared earlier that day. Focus on the history textbook in front of him, and not the way you cleaned up the lounge as it got later and later.

It wasn’t fair. It was so unfair how well you fell into the role. Cleaning and humming, one of his spare aprons on you as you wiped down the tables of crumbs and stacked a pile of dishes. It was unfair how sweetly you murmured to the few remaining students, and told them to go to bed and rest up.

They obliged, probably half asleep at this rate, since it was an hour until midnight. Ace and Deuce had retired a while ago, the latter leaning on the former as they haphazardly stumbled to their room.

Riddle had dropped by after his housewarden meeting, satisfied by the study group, but ultimately stuck to his very strict evening routine.

Now it was just you two. Even Grim had been tugged along with Ace and Deuce earlier, not unlike a rag doll slung over their shoulders.

“Trey? Honey, when are you going to sleep? It’s almost midnight.” His eyes fluttered tiredly as he felt your hands slide over his shoulders and a kiss pressed against his temple.

He felt warm again, heat pooling in his belly. You were so unfair.

“You should go to bed soon, come on, I’ll take care of you.”

He can think of a few ways you could ‘take care’ of him.

“It’s fine, why don’t you get Grim and head back to Ramshackle? Curfew is in 30 minutes, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, sighing into his ear, making a tingle go down his spine.

“Okay, but please go to bed soon? I left you a little birthday surprise in your bedroom~”

Trey perked up at that, eyeing your mischievous grin as you waved your fingers goodbye, going down the hallway to the dorms to grab Grim.

To be honest, he’d forgotten that his birthday was tomorrow, he’d been so focused on his midterms that it just slipped his mind. Well, he can’t say he’s not excited to see what you got him, especially since you’d been not too subtly probing him for preferences.

He groaned, running his hands over his face and sighing, heavy and exhausted.

“Ugh, just a bit more and I’ll retire for the night.” Trey reassured himself, eyes straining as he looked between the books in front of him.

The words on the papers blurred after a bit, the sound of the grandclock lulling him further into sleep, his head nodding off until a ping from his phone started him awake.

It was Cater, his Magicam user popping up on his screen.

cay-cay_diamond: hbd trey!! 🥳🎉🎉🎉grats on being an old man now!

Blinking at the clock, Trey realized that it was now a few minutes past midnight, so it was technically his birthday. He’s lucky that Riddle followed his own sleep schedule so rigorously, or else he’d be getting a scolding for breaking curfew.

luckyclover: Old? I’m only like 4 months older than you cay-cay_diamond: yeah. old. cay-cay_diamond: anyways! enjoy the gift in ur room!!! i helped (name) pick out the wrapping 😘😘😘

Trey hummed, a small smile on his face as he imagined the two of you bickering over wrapping paper and messily wrapping up a box with a bow. You did seem very excited for him to find it earlier, maybe you two picked something out together.

He was curious on what exactly you got him and why you hadn’t waited to give it to him at his actual birthday party. And why did you need Cater to help you…you’d always shoo him away when he’d tried helping you with gifts for other’s birthdays.

Stacking his books into his left hand and walking towards the junior dorm rooms, Trey looked at his phone as it pinged again.

cay-cay_diamond: on that topic thooo…u should rly go 2 ur room and get ur present! the poor thing! they’ve been w8ing very patiently 4 u~ luckyclover: Waiting? (Name)??? cay-cay_diamond: 🤭🤫😉

Trey sighed, shaking his head and tucking his phone away and digging out his room keys. It was times like these, deep into the night, when he was thankful for having his own room. He felt a bit bad now, you probably fell asleep in his bed waiting for him.

Though, the thought of you clutching one of his pillows, maybe in one of his sweaters to keep warm, made him smile. Then he could come in, gently take your clothes and shoes off to get you more comfortable, and dress down himself to slip in right behind you.

As he finally managed to get to his room, he heard shuffling as he turned the keys. Trey smirked, noticing that only his rose lamp remained on, and all the drapes to his canopy were now closed.

He could just barely make out the shadow of you moving behind them, hearing you gasp and the bed squeak, making him let out a soft laugh under his breath.

“You’re breaking curfew, you should be asleep you know? You're such a troublemaker sometimes.” Trey teased you as placed his books on his desk, tossing his hat onto its stand and slipping his shoes off to throw them into his wardrobe and grab his slippers.

He yawned, the late night really starting to sink into his body as he started undressing, his jacket and vest getting hung back up in the closet as he worked on his sash and unbuttoning his pants.

“Only like a third of the time!” You whined, the bed softly squeaking as you followed his movements behind the canopy. “Besides, I really wanted to give you your present. Don’t you want to unwrap me?”

Trey paused at the purr in your voice, narrowing his gaze as he saw your hand ever so slightly move the curtain at the end of the bed to peek at him. You were still mostly shrouded in darkness, but there was a very soft glow coming from inside the canopy, so he could just barely make out your mischievous smile.

Though, you quickly frowned, eyeing him up and down out of concern.

“Not if you’re too tired though, you have bags under your eyes, Trey. Do you just wanna go to sleep?”

Giving you a weary smile, Trey finally tossed his sash to the side and reached for the curtains, pushing them to the side to finally take a look at your “mysterious” present.

“In a bit, let me see what you got me…”

Trey’s breath hitched, he suddenly felt very wide awake as his eyes roamed up and down your body.

From the corner of his eye, he could see that you set up string lights along the top of the canopy for ambiance, making you look like you were almost glowing. Though it wasn’t that that made him lose his voice.

You were sitting on the edge of his bed with your legs curled underneath you, dressed in the most darling sage-green, sheer baby doll dress. The dress's puffy sleeves and hem were lacy, matching the lace on the stockings.

Holy shit you were wearing stockings.

“Ha, I wanted to surprise you, I thought you could use a stress reliever.”

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

“I should’ve realized that you’d be tired from studying for midterms, sorry.”

You're trying to rile him up, right?

“But, still, do you like it? I wrapped myself up just for you~”

He's supposed to be the responsible, big brother of Heartslabyul, he tries so hard. So, so hard to stay out of trouble and have a normal day-to-day life. To behave.

“In any case,” You shifted onto your knees, the dress splitting in the middle, the only thing keeping it together being a small bow at the base of your neck, revealing the lack of undergarments, just your bare skin underneath. “Even if you’re too tired and just want to sleep, I just wanted to say…”

Trey leaned in as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in, batting your eyelashes and ghosting your lips over his with a teasing smile. Your hands caressed the back of his neck, a thumb rubbing soothing circles, making him melt.

“Happy Birthday Trey~”

It’s now that he noticed that you even added a gloss to your lips, and he could smell the warm perfume on your neck as you pressed your lips to his, tongue swiping over his mouth, asking for permission to enter. Obliging, Trey sighed into the kiss and tangled his tongue with yours, his hands slipping underneath the baby doll and squeezing at your waist.

He really should go to sleep. He has to wake up early for the party. He has to dress in his birthday robes. He has to make sure that the others don’t burn down the kitchen or damage his expensive bakeware as they made his cake.

But the way your skin felt under his gloved hands, skin meeting skin, lace, skin, and lace again.

How could he be expected to sleep now?

Trey used to pride himself on his level headedness and restraint, but that all went out the window into a swan dive into the lake when he saw you in his bed in that damn one-piece.

Humming in delight against your mouth, Trey slid his hands down, as you curled into his body in response, and squeezed at the fat of your thighs before picking you up.

A yelp left your mouth as he picked you up and tossed you up the bed, pulling off his shirt and tossing it behind him as he crawled on top of you.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he saw the way the dress fell open to expose your body, your chest moving up and down as you watched him with a giddy smile.

“Oh! I guess you’re not that tired—ah!”

You gasped as Trey grabbed your calves, tugging you up to place the back of your knees on his shoulders. He leaned in to press a chaste kiss to your right thigh, smirking against the lace.

“I was tired. I should be asleep,” Trey murmured against your stocking laced skin, pressing kisses as he went farther and farther down. “Resting—kiss—Up—kiss—but no.”

He gave you a half-hearted glare, which you responded with a smile and lacing your hands through his hair as he pressed another kiss to the bend where your thigh met your sex.

“You broke curfew, you wanted to keep me up with your little ‘present’, you know I’d get in trouble for hiding you out in my room.”

Trey gave you a bite on your thigh, groaning as he felt your hands tighten in his hair, moving back to press a soothing kiss to the mark he left.

“Are you trying to get me in trouble? Throw me in the doghouse?” “Cause I’ll make sure you come right with me, after a little taste of my birthday treat.”

The same time he ran his tongue up your sex, Trey could feel you shiver and pull on his hair as he ate you feverishly, like a man starved from food or water for ages.

“Mmm! Trey!” You threw your head back, bringing one hand up to slam a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries, the walls here weren’t known to be sound-proof.

He should probably care a bit more, especially when you let out a particularly high-pitched squeal as his tongue began fucking into your hole.

“Trey! Oooh, Trey~”

Bringing a finger to join his tongue, Trey smiled against your skin as you squeezed your thighs around his head, using his free hand to push his pants and underwear down to palm at his dick.

“Trey—aaaah—wait, let me—mmph—Honey—” You let out a shuddering gasp, pulling his head up from your sex. Trey locked eyes with you, leaning into the hand you slid down to cup his cheek and caress his lower lips, wiping the slick and drool from the corner of his mouth.

“Yes? Honey?” Removing his hand from inside you to cover your own hand and kiss your palm, Trey smiled and hummed, “I like that, you know, reminds me of a husband coming home to his spouse.”

Pressing kisses up your body, soft and tingly, up your neck, and back to your lips where they belonged.

“Hmm, I really like the sound of that, (Name) Clover.” You murmured against his lips, smiling as you wrapped a leg around his waist to bring his dick closer to your sex, rubbing against him as you both sighed into each other’s mouths.

“Is that what you want? You want me to be a cute little spouse? Dress up in a cute apron? Greet you when you come home from work?”

So focused on the softness of your lips and the wetness sliding against his dick, Trey didn’t even notice you twisting your body to turn him onto his back, the back of his head hitting the back of his pillows as you sat on top with a cheeky grin.

“Hm? How would my husband want me to welcome him home? A hug? A kiss? Mm, what about…me?” Trey watched you with flushed cheeks as you kissed down his body, mimicking his earlier actions as you helped him tug off the rest of his clothes.

“Oh, how nice it would be for you to come back to a warm, clean home with a spouse…” Looking up at him through your eyelashes and giving him a kitten lick to his tip. “...ready to give soft wet holes for you to fill~”

Giving him a vision into that sweet, sweet future, you swallowed his tip, down his shaft, and started sucking.

“Haaah—”

Trey lolled his head back into his pillow, letting out a breathless moan as you bobbed your head up and down his length, your hand working the rest that didn’t fit into your mouth.

“Fuuuuck. That does sound nice—mmh!” Reaching his hand down, you immediately took one of your hands to lace it with his, squeezing it as you hummed around his cock.

“My lovely spouse—nnnngh—their pretty mouth—unnnh—soft holes—aaaah—all for me to come home to every day, what a dream~”

A particularly harsh suck made Trey arch his back and squeeze your hand harder, a giggle vibrating his dick as you pulled off.

“Hehe, is this your way of proposing? Kinda dirty to do it with your dick on my mouth.” You giggled, pressing kisses and quick licks along his shaft.

“That’s okay though, you and I both know that deep down, you’re a bit of a pervert. Right?”

Trey scoffed, tugging you up with a bemused smile. “Yeah? How can you tell? Thought I hid that pretty well.”

A soft laugh escaping you, you held both of his hands, bringing them up to press kisses on his knuckles, making the green-haired man sigh fondly.

“The way you look at me sometimes, like you’re undressing me. It makes me feel all warm and tingly, especially when I piss you off.”

Both of you let out a breathless moan as your wetness rubbed against his hard dick, grinding against one another as the tip occasionally caught against your hole, making you shiver.

“Is it bad that sometimes I wanna get you mad so you’ll fuck me real mean? Is it bad that I want you to use me? To fuck your stress out with me?”

A lump forming in his throat, Trey let go of your hands to pull at the string holding your flimsy baby doll together. Eyes half lidded, he pushed the fabric off your shoulders, watching it pool at your elbows as you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself as your grinding turned into vigorous humping against him, making you both gasp in pleasure.

“Ooh, Trey, honey, baby, hubby~ Won’t you use me? Be a little mean? Pleeeease? Fuck me, fill me up like I know you want! Pleeeeease Trey? Pretty, pretty please?”

Lips smashed against yours as Trey bolted up, groaning into your mouth as he grabbed your hips in an almost painful grip.

He picked you up once again, throwing you on all fours, covers tangling against your knees and hands, as he ripped your dress off and tossed it.

Trey’s left hand placed itself on your hip, while his right pushed down on your back, following up your spine to the base of your neck where he pushed you down to shove your face into the sheets, forcing you into a doggy pose.

“So you do like getting me in trouble, little brat. Fine, I’ll be mean.”

Trey lined his dick against your throbbing hole, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your ear and moving the hand on your neck to wove with your right, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Squeeze three times if you need me to stop, otherwise, I’m going to fuck that brain right out of your pretty little head, since you don’t seem to be wanting to use it.”

In one, swift move, Trey slammed his hips to your ass, sinking nearly half his length into your warm, waiting hole.

“FUCK! YES—MMMPH” Burying your face into the sheets to muffle your cries, Trey did the same into your shoulder, shivering at your tightness around him.

Setting a rhythm, hips smacking into your ass, Trey worked the rest of his cock into you until he could hear the smack of your ass against his hips, the sound echoing with the creak of the bed.

Your tightness around him was heavenly, as was the sight of you sinking further into the bed and arching your ass to sloppily meet his thrusts. Straightening again, bending your arm back so that your hands could remain intertwined.

His left hand caressed your back and the fat of your behind, before bringing it down in a harsh slap to your ass, making you yelp and squeeze his hand in a vice grip, though you also tightened around his cock.

Rubbing a soothing circle against the reddening skin, slowed his thrusts, making you whine and push against him.

“Haaah, that okay? Feel good?” Trey murmured, smiling at the frantic nod and wiggle against him. “Want me to keep going?”

“Mmmph... yessshh... mmmore, mmmore... pleeeashh, honey~” Your sounds were muffled as you bit into the blanket, getting higher and higher as he obliged, not one to deny you after all.

Every other thrust was met with a slap to one cheek, then the other, the skin turning redder and redder with his handprints marking you. The harder he went, the more and more slack you went, until he was eventually just fucking you like his personal toy.

Though, you did offer yourself as his present, didn’t you? So it was only fair that he got to use his present as he wished, and right now, he wanted to feel you cumming around him.

Ceasing his smacks, making you whine, Trey instead melded his body against yours, the weight both overwhelming and comforting, as his left hand instead moved to your sex to rub you to completion.

Trey watched as you gasped for breath, completely burying your head into the bed to muffled your screams as you came around him, trembling and squeezing him.

The feeling of your walls pulsating around his shaft was becoming dangerously addicting, and he was very greedy for more of that.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m so close! You can give me another one, right?”

Slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you up, Trey adjusted you so that you sat on his dick, kissing the side of your neck for reassurance as he let go of your hand to quickly slide his arms under your knees.

From all his years of tossing bags of flour and sugar, from kneading dough, from all the labor he’s done as a baker, picking you up was like child’s play.

Folding your knees up to your chest so he could hold you, back flush to his chest, was nothing for him. Everything for you, though, your over sensitive hole squeezing down on him again.

“FUCK! I caaame! Treytreytreytrey—” You dug a hand into his arm, tossing your head back and lolling your tongue out with a dumb, drooly smile on your lips.

“A-almost there—nngh—just squeeze if I need to stop—I’m so close~”

Smashing his lips against yours for an open mouth, wet kiss, Trey pounded faster into you, determined to feel your walls pulsate again, this time as he filled your insides up like one of his pastries.

Then, an awful, perverted thought filled his head, like a devil was whispering in his ear.

Why doesn’t he fill them up with his kids? Don’t stop until his cum is drooling out of their hole, and go again to make up for the lost seed. He already wants them to be his spouse, why not add a few little ones to that picture?

Trey was losing any bit of restraint that he may have had as he was now determined to fullfill his fantasy. Even if you couldn’t do it, magic made anything here possible, and right now is good practice anyway.

“I’m—aaaahhh—I’m gonna come inside, okay? Fill you up, yeah?”

Digging your nails into his skin, you nodded against his mouth and whined.

“Yessssss! Fill me up! Inside! Gimme a baby Trey! I wanna make you a daaaaddy~”

Squeezing your legs further against your chest, Trey pounded faster and faster, trembling as he reached close and closer to his peak.

Warmth flooded his body, tingles, and he swears sparks, flying over his skin as he felt you clamp down on him for a third time.

Your voice squealed higher and higher, any previous attempt to be quiet for naught as you practically screamed.

Trey shuddered as he finally came, cum flooding your warm insides as you went limp in his arms.

Panting for air, both of you remained still for a minute, the bed feeling stuffy with the curtains still closed. After another minute, Trey pulled you up and off of him, shaky as his now limp dick left your warm, comfortable embrace.

Doing his best to gently place you on the bed, Trey let out a breathless laugh as you collapsed on the bed like a rag doll, blinking your eyes tiredly at the ceiling of the canopy.

“Haah, sorry, I went too hard there, huh?”

You shook your head, giving him a tired smile and reaching a hand for him, which he took and brought up to kiss.

“It was good, really, good. You liked your present?”

Snorting and nodding, Trey carefully scooped you up to move your head onto the pillows and gently roll off your garter stocking, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as he did.

“Yeah, I did. Come on, let me get you a shirt.”

You whined as he pulled away, exhaustion starting to steep into him as he tied back the curtains to the canopy to let the stuffiness out. Trey picked up the baby doll he’d tossed earlier, placing it into his wardrobe drawer as he dug out a shirt and sweatpants for himself and a shirt for you.

As he closed the drawer, he noticed your backpack hidden underneath it, digging in it to grab you some underwear. You had packed a pair of pajamas, apparently, but…he’d rather see you in his clothes.

“Hmm, honey? Come to bed…” You whined, hands reaching out for him impatiently as he slipped on his clothes, crawling over to you and helping you slip your underwear and his shirt on.

“I’m here, I’m here.”

Trey slowly blinked, eyelids heavy as he scoop you up to place you two under the covers, the soft mattress making him practically become one with the bed and you as you nestled into his chest.

Your legs tangled with his as Trey wrapped his arms around you and tucked your head under his chin. He could feel fatigue and sleep quickly taking over him as your voice vibrated against his chest, soft and sleepy.

“Happy birthday honey, I—yawn—love…you…”

A different kind of warmth, soft and sweet, filled him as he squeezed you tighter against him, murmuring back.

“I love you too…”

*Riiiing* *Riiiiiiiing* *Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

An irritating, loud noise filled Trey’s ears as he groaned, half-awake as he turned over to smack his hand on his phone, silencing the alarm.

“Aah…Noisy…hhggh.” Trey groaned, rolling over, careful to not crush you under him to blindly reach for his glasses.

“Glasses…glasses…ah..”

Plastic and glass finally under his palm, Trey slipped his glasses on his face, ultimately throwing himself back into bed next to you, who’d begun shifting awake.

“Mmm, honey?”

Grunting in response, Trey threw an arm over his eyes, irritated at the sun seeping through the window into his eyes.

“Early…”

You chuckled, a yawn escaping you as you decided to move closer and slip a hand under his shirt to rub at his chest, pressing kisses into his neck as well.

“You’re so grumpy in the morning. Come on, you've got a big day ahead.”

“…Ugh, I do?”

Snorting at his response, Trey grunted as he felt you move, peaking under his arm to see you resting on your elbow. You had puffy, dark circles under your eyes from the little sleep you managed to get.

“Birthdays are a pretty big deal, right?” Smiling at him, Trey squinted an eye and groaned, squeezing his eyes shut in protest.

“Ugggh, yeah…”

Hearing you hum, Trey groaned in surprise as he felt you straddle his waist and caress his neck and cheeks, making him remove his arm to blink up at you.

Your hair was a tangled mess, sticking up in all sorts of places. The bags under your eyes more noticeable under the night. His shirt dwarfed you. You were a hot mess, all things considered.

He probably wouldn’t say it out loud, with how cute you were last night, but he thinks you look most beautiful like this. Better than any frilly, skimpy, or tight outfit.

“Come on, Birthday Boy, want me to give you a little pick me up?”

Kissing him with a smile, Trey moaned into the lazy, sloppy morning kiss, tilting his head back as you pressed kissed down his neck, deciding to work on leaving a love bite at the nape of his neck.

Trey’s phone chimed, making him sigh as he reached for it, letting you continue your love bites and kisses,

Squinting at the few messages, it seemed like a few of his friends and classmates were already sending him birthday wishes. Though, a message from Cater made him blot up, a sudden shock of alertness running down his spine.

“Ah! Trey, what is it?”

cay-cay_diamond: morning!! happy bday 2 the bday boi again! thought i let u no tht u owe me a favor, had 2 cast a silencing spell on ur roum last nite. totes ruined my beauty sleep! cay-cay_diamond: also i know u got ur lil cutie 2 distract ya, but liek dont b l8 2 ur bday breakfast, grimmy might eat it!

“Shit, we were too loud, Cater had to cast a silencing spell on the room.”

You made an ‘oh’ shape with your mouth, giving Trey an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, but at least you enjoyed it, right?”

Trey smiled, more awake now, and nodded, sharing a sweet kiss with you.

“Definitely. You might have to consider making your go-to gift for now on, it’s gotta be my favorite one I’ve ever gotten.”

He solidified that statement with one more, firm, assuring kiss with you, before having to leave your sweet dream into the real world.

At least he could have one part of that dream with him at his side from now on: you.

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

#mochi fic #twst #twisted wonderland #trey clover #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #trey clover x reader #twst trey #twisted wonderland smut #twst smut #trey clover smut #happy birthday trey #anyways thats my husband and i probably wont get this out of my system for a while

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