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flokali · 2 years ago

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— It’s been updated after a year (huhuhu, time flie too fast … slow down); please read the warning since some of these are significantly darker than my usual content ;; >_>))

I’ve decided to experiment with world building and push myself out of my comfort zone ;; none of these are 100% finished, they’re WIPS or concepts I wanna work on.

— Please;; I selfishly ask you continue supporting me even if I’m not as active as I used to be =_=^^ I plan on working as hard as I can to make up for my absence >_<

If your ask isn’t here, do not fret - this is mostly for original content or requests that I’ve modified ever so slightly and/or are closer to being finished (—3—))7

𖥔 WIPS

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈𖧵┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

These are all my works in progress in no particular order.

Last updated: 10/6/23 (12:29)

WARNING: All/most of my work is considered Dark Content as it includes Yandere themes, therefore all of these WIPS are Yandere/DC. Trigger and content warnings will be issued alongside each WIP.

GENSHIN IMPACT

— Roomate : (NSFW) : Supernatural! Kamisato Ayato x AFAB! GN! Reader

• For the first time in your life you got your own place, being by yourself for the first time was scary - but what if you weren’t ever alone in the first place?

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, non-con, dub-con, oral, penetration, mind break, masturbation, emotional distress, supernatural, implied murder and kidnapping.

Positions : Top & Dom! Kamisato Ayato / Sub

& Bottom! Reader

……

— Like the stories : (NSFW) : Serial Killer! Al Haitham & Accomplice! Kaveh x Internet Sleuth! GN! Reader

• An up and coming mystery writer under the pen name of “Najib” had caught your interest after you noticed the eerie similarities between his latest anthology series and a string of unsolved cases that had been tormenting your city, putting on your internet sleuthing to good use you team up with a user known as “Salim”’ to see if your gut feeling was right… maybe you shouldn’t always trust the “safe” option.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, murder, suicide mentions, serial killer, manipulation, gaslighting, threats to MC’s life/safety, paranoia, torture, non-con, penetration, oral, double penetration, anal, kidnapping, mind break, stockholm syndrome.

Position : Top & Dom! Al-Haitham / Sub & Bottom! Reader / Top! Kaveh

……

— Forced Worship : (NSFW) : Acolyte! Zhongli x God! Reader (SAGAU)

• After being hunted by him for months for crimes unknown, the God of Contracts demands your presence and forgiveness but you’re not willing to accept his apology. Even if he’s mellowed out, Rex Lapis is still a devout follower of his Grace, his relentless pursuit of you should’ve made it clear, and he can’t stomach his God having him.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, non-con, penetration, forced stimulation, mind break, unrealistic sex, belly bulge,

Positions : Top & Dom! Zhongli / Bottom & Sub! Reader

……

— I was reincarnated into my favorite RPG mobile game but all of my oshis hate me because I am their incompetent God?! / PT I : (adult) Genshin Cast x Isekai! GN! God! Reader

• You died, a bummer really, and somehow managed to reincarnate into your favorite Open-world Role Playing Game, Genshin Impact! Except you’ve been given the role of a “God” you’d never heard of and the people aren’t too pleased with your performance.

CW [May be subject to change] : Slight! Yandere, murder, death, torture, religion/cults, worshiping, self-awareness, antagonism towards MC.

……

— I was reincarnated (again) into my favorite royal romance light novel with RPG mobile game characters who hate me because I was their useless God in my (second) past life?! / PT II : (adult) Genshin Cast x Isekai! GN! Royal! Reader

• After being killed by an angry mob, you find yourself reincarnated into the role of a young heir to a throne from a romance book you’d read ages ago, things seem to be much better with no angry and vengeful acolytes — or so you think until you realize they’ve replaced the characters your younger self adored — now you can only play stupid and hope they don’t remember you from your previous life.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, cult/religion, obsessive and possessive behavior, assasination attempts on MC’s life, power imbalance, mentions of murder, torture, stalking, stealing, violence (not towards MC).

……

— Ero-anime : (NSFW) : Modern! Shut in! Weeb! Xiao x Popular! AFAB! GN! Reader

• As the campus resident hottie you’re bound to catch the eye of most, that includes local Loser-H* tai-Brained-Otaku Xiao who’s convinced himself you’re meant to be his in every way; he’s just building up the courage before he can take you for himself.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, non-con, somnophilia, mentions of h*ntai and ero-content, oral, penetration, breaking and entering, stalking, non-consensual recording.

Positions : Top! Xiao / Bottom! Reader

……

— Fallen Idol : (NSFW) : Non-believer! Kaeya x Isekai! God! AFAB! Reader

• After a life of hardships, Kaeya had long since abandoned his trust, belief or tolerance for any deity – especially you. He can’t help but become enraged when you suddenly waltz into Teyvat after over a millennia of absence and the way you basically threw yourself at him; but maybe this could be a learning opportunity for both of you.

CW [May be subject to change] : Non-Yandere, one-sided affection, penetration, sexual objectification of MC, religion/cult, mentions of sacrifices, mentions of neglect, anger and distaste towards MC.

Positions : Dom & Top! Kaeya / Dom & Sub! Reader

……

— I love you, I own you : (NSFW) : Childhood friend! Childe x AFAB! Reader

• After hearing of your arranged engagement to one of his subordinates, Childe decides to pay you a visit and remind everyone you have belonged to him for the start; even if it means defiling you in your own home to the point no one but himself could love you.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, dub-con, penetration, misogyny, toxic parents, manipulation and gaslighting, mentions of pregnancy, obsessive, paranoid, and possessive behavior, toxic mindset, coerced submission, getting walked into, bribing, murder, torture.

Positions : Dom & Top! Childe / Sub & Bottom! Reader

……

— Make Love; Mech Love : (NSFW) : (adult) Android/Cyborg-esque! Genshin Cast x Reader

It’s the year 21XX and humanity has reached a point where human connections are not valued as deeply as they once were, nowadays you can fill the void of relationships with high tech androids designed to fulfill all your needs no matter the cost; it’s in their programming, after all.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, android/cyborg, non/dub-con, oral, penetration, masturbation, voyeurism, sex toys, borderline dystopian-world, sentient machines/technology, murder, blackmail.

Positions : Switch! Characters / Switch! Reader

HONKAI STAR RAIL

— Agapathe : (adult) Acolyte! Star Rail x Isekai! Aeon! Reader

• The Aeon of Love had long since disappeared, their path long forgotten - but their legacy lives on in the hearts of most of the Universe’s inhabitants. After centuries of your absence, your sudden reappearance caused quite a stir within your believers.

CW [May be subject to change] :Yandere, cult/religious themes, isekai-troupes, reverse harem, obsessive behavior, delusional thoughts and behavior, sacrifices, blood, murder.

……

— Sheltered : Scummy! Sampo Koski x Trust Fund! GN! Reader

• After running away from home you find yourself stranded in the Underworld, the ever so kind Sampo Koski decides to take you in from the goodness of his heart and definitely not for the expensive clothes and jewelry you were clearly sporting. With the original intent to throw you back to the Overworld once your funds ran out, partially in hopes of securing a payment for bringing you back home, he finds himself in quite a pickle when he realizes he’s become a bit too attached to the handsome aristocrat that now lived in his house.

CW [May be subject to change] :Yandere, scamming, toxic parents, mentions of murder, kidnapping, implications of ransom, stealing.

……

— You’re the boss : (NSFW) : Jing Yuan x AFAB! GN! Reader

• As the General’s secretary, you’re practically forced to put up with his antics - no matter how cryptic or odd they were, after all your job was on the line.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, Boss x Secretary, power imbalance, dub-con, oral, penetration, workplace relationships, age gap, unwanted advances, threats.

Positions : Top & Dom! Jing Yuan / Bottom & Sub! Reader

TWISTED WONDERLAND

— The Huntsman, the Queen, and their Prisoner : Vil Schonheit & Rook Hunt x Prisoner! GN! Reader (Royalty AU)

• As the next in line to the throne, Prince Vil could hardly spare time for his hobbies - which is why he appointed his adored and trusted Huntsman to keep an eye on his favorite criminal in the palace’s basement.

CW [May be subject to change] : Yandere, power imbalance, implications of torture, mentions of murder/assasination, threats against the MC, coercion, forced relationship.

#ꜛ𖠿 ꒱ . . . lost scripts #HIIII *SHY*#IM ALIVE JUST REALLY BUSY BUT IM GOING ON A BREAK IN LIKE TWO WEEKS !! i’ve been working on wips but most of my energy is.. gone #because i’ve been studying like crazy — ever since i’ve been on my new meds i’ve been hyper focused on studying for literally everything #and working on projects and other stuff ;; just last week i had to spend 10 hours on a presentation that was like 50% of my overall grade #almost died no joke;; but i’ve been doing well all things considered #^_^ hopefully i’ll be able to get back to writing more since i’ve been pretty drained recently;;#but yeah !! new things are coming hehehe i didn’t forget this silly blog #i have way too much fun on here with you guys esp when i used to be more active (huhuhu)#but it’s been like what;; almost 1 year and a half of flokali/shinsosweet;;#i think i started the blog back in october 2021;;#that’s wild bro;;: never even finished deus vult sksnsnendn #anyway i have some asks asking ab where i’ve been and i’ve been putting off answering them bcs i’m embarrassed to say i’ve been just…#being a student trying to get a degree and shit;: like i wish it was a better/more interesting excuse but it’s really just that #anyway if you actually read this;; hiiii >_<#i’m back babey- i think maybe idk i don’t wanna promise anything and leave for a month again JDNSNS

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serahlink · 7 months ago

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‼️HELP A HOMELESS ARTIST ‼️

Reblogs are greatly appreciated! :")

Making a new post because my family and I are in dire need of help. My name is Link, I'm a 22 y/o artist and since November 2021, my family and I have been homeless and living in a motel. Since neither of us had our documents or IDs when we first got here, it was up to me to open commissions to support us. Although my father has his id now, getting a job out in the mountains where we don't have transportation or a way for them to contact us is very difficult. Until that changes, we're still dependant on my commissions to help us through paying for rent and soon food, as this is our last month of food stamps due to the policies here.

This week and especially this month has been super tough on us since work has gone down for me tremendously. There's been weeks were we can't pay and owe upwards of 100$+ every other day since it adds up so quickly. There are days where if we didn't have food stamps, we wouldn't have any food at all and since it's ending soon, I'm hoping this will help me find some more work to care of my family with. Right now our situation is urgent. We need 250$ to cover for tomorrow and we don't have anything as of yet. If we can't have everything paid for by tomorrow, we will be kicked out and since families on both sides have cut us off both communication and money wise, it doesn't look good if that happens.

So, all my slots are open for anyone who's interested in helping us out! I'm a primarily DnD/fantasy themed artist. I mainly draw Dragon Age centered art but I've also done work of Baldurs Gate 3 tavs and other DnD related stuff as well! I can also work outside of fantasy, I've done all things from simple portrait commissions to furries to even dragons, I'm flexible with most things. The only thing I won't do is sexual nudity since I'm not particularly educated enough to draw that sorta stuff yet. Payment will be upfront since our situation is extremely dire at the moment and in turn since we have to use the money we get immediately for rent and soon enough food, no refunds can be given back so please take that into consideration. I'm all for making changes if you aren't happy with how a piece is turning out.

My prices will be below! Thank you to all that sees this and helps either through reblogging or commissioning me, it always means a lot to my family and I! :")

~Prices~

Sketch (price depending on type of sketch) - base price of 15$

Sketch page - 15$ per sketch

Headshot - 25$ (+10$ if shaded)

Bust - 35$ (+10$ if shaded)

Expression Sheet (minimum of 3 heads per sheet, 10$+ per extra head) - 45$ (10$+ if shaded)

Half body - 50$ (+10$ if shaded)

Full body - 70$ (+15$ if shaded)

Couples Commission (a commission that includes two people) - 90$ (+15$ if shaded)

Group commissions (commission that includes more than two people, price dependant on the details) - 60 base price(one character, unshaded; each extra character is +75% to the original price) (40$+ if shaded)

Paintings (price depending on the details) - 100$+

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genericpuff · 4 months ago

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So I watched ChattyMia's Lore Olympus video which was great and everyone should watch it. It seems most people who do series reviews of the Lore Olympus don't like the comic for obvious reasons. Then I was reminded by the end that the comic is expecting a TV series which is in development hell. It made me think that Rachel might be better off not having a Lore Olympus TV show. Most praise for the series died awhile ago as the story became an utter mess. If it did get a TV show, people will see the early red flags like the age gap, the treatment of Minthe, trying to excuse cheating, Hades horrible behavior to workers, nymphs being discriminated with no pushback, etc. If some of them read the comic for spoilers they would later see the other big red flags of the series. Excusing slave labor, Persephone threatening the lower class, Hera getting with Echo a 'trash nypmh' as she once called Minthe, Apollo gets community service, the continued mistreatment of Demeter etc. Which I feel will cause everyone to go 'wtf is this series? 50 Shades of Grey mixed with Keeping Up with the Kardashians?'. Then you have to wonder if some of them will do a deep dive and find the stuff about Rachel's tie to Lolita. It would be especially bad if a bigger content creator talked about it. And we already know Rachel doesn't handle criticism the best (i.e. the struggle street tweet, the Minthe cosplay situation or even the merch). So I could only imagine how much worse it would be for her if Lore Olympus got a TV show and more eyes got drawn to it and her. It would no longer be just confided to the web comics fanbase but the much larger TV one. Unless Rachel seriously considered rewriting the TV script (or rekindling it lol) I don't see how a TV adaptation of her show would be good press for her.

Yess I've seen that video, it's great! She did a great job summarizing a lot of the biggest core issues with LO's story and art without getting too lost in the sauce (though god knows the rabbithole of LO's issues runs INCREDIBLY deep in an equally fascinating and "oh god what the fuck did I just read' kind of way), her video editing was very entertaining and her Persephone cosplay was a great touch 😎

That said, regarding the thought of "most people who do series reviews of LO don't like the comic", there is an amount of bias we have to acknowledge there - there's often a lot more to say in the negative rather than the positive. By extension, people who simply enjoy LO and don't participate much in the online discussion surrounding it or the discourse concerning it are less likely to make 2 hour videos analyzing it. So while the popular opinion of LO has shifted more towards a negative point of view, that doesn't mean that fans of the comic don't exist - it's just that most of those fans are blissfully enjoying the comic and can only sum it up as "it's very pretty and the plot is great", whereas many people who didn't enjoy it are more likely to voice their opinions as to why in far more explicit detail (though on the flipside of that, it also goes to show that there's a lot more to analyze in LO's flaws than its strengths - it's ironic that the fans often don't have much to say beyond "it's cute" or "I relate to Persephone" and anything further than that is relegated to pure headcanon pieced together by assumption and best guesses to make up for Rachel's lack of writing).

All that aside though, regarding the TV adaption, at this point it's less a matter of reception and more a matter of relevancy. The perfect time to release or at least show us proof of the LO TV show was years ago, when the comic was at its peak between 2020-2021. The second best time was at last year's NYCC when Rachel was a headlining guest. The fact they still had nothing to show for it at this year's NYCC, with Rachel nowhere to be seen and instead focusing more on the Freaking Romance adaption with Snailords filling the role as their featured guest (an equally if not even more problematic creator), is astounding, but unsurprising.

To me, LO feels like a real life case of "Tortoise and the Hare". Back at the start of it all, in 2017-2018, it was doing what no other comic on the platform was doing, presenting us a retelling of the Hades and Persephone story - which was very popular on Tumblr at the time - through a modern setting and with art that was incredibly unique for the platform. That, paired with WT's aggressive marketing, propelled it far ahead every other comic on the platform, creating a gap so massive that even the comics in second place on the trending tabs still weren't even close to LO's lead in terms of stats and money.

But then it got complacent. Quality of the comic's writing and art dropped, it was becoming increasingly obvious that LO had become no more than a marketing grift akin to the likes of Harry Potter - easily turned into books, t-shirts, socks, coloring books, figures, etc. - and that gave way to an increase of criticism towards it, criticism that had always somewhat existed even as far back as its days on Tumblr, but was now amplified by the existing ongoing proof that LO was never all it was cracked up to be.

Now, at best they shill $200+ figurine pre-orders, but the show is nowhere to be seen and, with the comic now finished and locked behind Daily Pass, its relevancy is dying out. "Rachel Smythe Presents" still has nothing to show for itself, Rachel's IG and Twitter seem to be purely for merch-pushing by the Inklore team, and Rachel has, at best, two new series that she suddenly announced but, in her words, don't even have anything written or planned for them yet beyond the taglines that were thrown together for her socials.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Greek myth retelling industry is in a renaissance. Hades is still a massively popular game, with its sequel now in early access; Epic: The Musical has been making waves on Spotify and TikTok far exceeding that of LO's in terms of audience reach, and even has more to show for itself in the way of official animations than LO ever has; and now Kaos has recently launched its first season after being in production since 2018 - yes, you read that right, it got commissioned around the exact same time LO became an Originals series which suggests the idea for it was already floating around and being pitched prior to LO - and, frankly, has beaten LO at its own game by achieving everything LO set out to do - weaving a Greek epic-style story in a modern setting, balancing romance with prophecies and world-ending stakes. It took a while, but Kaos made it past the finishing line, while LO has been dragging itself behind it, still making empty promises that a TV show is "still in the works" and "coming soon", with not a single thing to show for itself.

LO may have gotten a head start in being the "sleek, modern, sexy Greek myth retelling" by the virtue of being a weekly webtoon, but slow and steady wins the race - the productions that have taken their time cooking in the oven are now coming out as beautiful and delicious as we, the guests at the table, were told would be, while LO is simply the short-term gratification junk food that bombards us with gimmicks but sits like a rock in our stomachs and leaves us unfulfilled and wishing for a better meal.

Those better meals are here now and they were absolutely worth the wait.

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

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dandelionsresilience · 19 days ago

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Dandelion News - December 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles for 50% off this month!

1. 7 good things humanity did to combat climate change in 2024

“The UK […] closed its final coal power plant in October. [… In India,] the share of power provided by coal dropped below 50% for the first time since the 1960s. [… A non-profit] has provided solar energy to more than 6,000 of the poorest Nigerians.”

2. California Voters Said Yes to Prop 4, a Win for Birds, People, and Our Shared Future

“[…] Prop 4 will direct millions of dollars for water conservation and habitat restoration [… and] includes a requirement that at least 40% of its funding go to lower-income and climate-vulnerable communities.”

3. This Pennsylvania school is saving big with solar and EV school buses

“Steelton-Highspire’s solar arrangement will save it about $3.6 million over the next 20 years. As for the electric school buses, Steelton-Highspire is one of thousands of districts able to access federal rebates from a $5 billion program created by the 2021 Bipartisan Infrastructure Law.”

4. Autism Speaks Canada shuts down in January. Good.

“As Canada’s autistic-led advocacy group […] we are relieved that Autism Speaks Canada will be shutting down in January of 2025. This is an opportunity for autistics and our families to collaborate locally to build new, neuro-affirming spaces and projects.” [If you don’t know why this is a good thing, please click here]

5. LA Zoo hatches first-ever perentie lizards, one of largest lizard species in the world

“The LA Zoo is one of only three institutions accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums that have successfully reproduced them[….] Adult perentie lizards can reach more than 8 feet (2.4 meters) in length and can weigh more than 40 pounds (18 kilograms), the zoo said.”

6. Research reveals an inexpensive fix for California's struggling wildflowers

“[… R]aking [“dead, invasive grasses”] is decidedly less labor-intensive and more ecologically friendly [than other management techniques…, but doing so] increased plant diversity overall, reducing invasive grasses […] while increasing both native and exotic wildflowers[….]”

7. A new EV battery could last more than 8 times longer, travel farther

“[… A] typical battery lasts 2,400 cycles, while the new battery lasted more than 20,000 cycles. [… Used batteries could be repurposed] for grid storage on wind and solar farms, the study notes.”

8. Women who are homeless in Boston find safe space and care at 'HER Saturday'

“Women can get lots of other care on the spot — from sick visits and basic health screenings to Pap smears and contraception. [… They also come for] "The makeup, the snacking and the girl talks. And ... picking out a new outfit," said Pinky Valentine [“a homeless transgender woman”].”

9. ‘It absolutely took off’: five UK biodiversity success stories

“[…N]ew methods are emerging to preserve, improve and generate new habitat and, in many cases, attract back or reintroduce species not seen for decades. After a nudge, ecosystems are often doing much of the heavy work themselves.“

10. Personalized gifts really do mean that little bit more to your loved ones, says research

“Research has also shown that receivers of personalized gifts are more likely to take care of them. […] In this sense, gift-giving can be not just an emotional exchange, but also a more sustainable one. A carefully preserved [personalised] gift avoids waste and brings long-term satisfaction.”

December 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

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imaginespazzi · 10 months ago

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Part 3: Shades of Grey

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)

(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always

Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)

TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!

August 2021

The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop.

“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”

Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”

“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh.

“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”

“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, ” Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”

Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe.

“You don’t mean that,” she whispers.

Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”

“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”

“Watch your fucking mouth-”

“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word.

Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister.

“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”

“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”

“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”

“I didn’t lie about anything.”

Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’, all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”

“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”

“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”

“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in.

“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”

“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet.

“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door.

“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think I wanna be friends.”

When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken.

***

July 2023

Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch.

When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s.

Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared.

“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together.

“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch.

Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”

“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously.

“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”

The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days.

“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant.

“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”

“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”

It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant.

“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent.

“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”

“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”

“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”

“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”

“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”

Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions.

“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”

“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”

She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out.

“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”

The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it.

“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”

Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?”

Azzi��s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight.

“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”

Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”

Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-

“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige.

“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment.

Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom.

There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.

She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”

“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”

“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm.

“Stop lying,” Paige bites out.

“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.

“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief.

“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”

“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”

“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers.

Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”

“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.”

“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”

The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her.

“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline.

“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”

Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.

Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine.

“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine.

A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm.

“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them.

“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants.

“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”

Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”

It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above.

“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies.

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”

Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-

“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately, against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction.

“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”

As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw.

“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together.

Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked.

“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers-

“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls.

“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door, “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”

“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”

“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”

“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”

Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly.

There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself

“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly.

“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”

“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.

There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”

Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her.

“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her.

“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”

Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart.

“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up.

“Paige I-”

“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her.

***

November 2023

UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury.

The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have.

It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins.

Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little.

“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.

Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”

They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart.

***

UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.

It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow.

Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them.

“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”

“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises.

“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?

“Right, right, continue.”

“Well now I don’t want to.”

Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary.

“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously.

“Fresh air.”

“And?”

Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”

“It always feels like that at the beginning.”

“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you his hardest battles, right?”

“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”

“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”

“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”

Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right, and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.

“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”

I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me.

“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them.

“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue.

“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”

“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”

“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”

“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”

“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-”

“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”

“Paige-”

“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue.

In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But-

“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”

The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync.

“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face.

The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”

“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”

If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees.

Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up.

“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same.

The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone.

“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately.

“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck.

“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”

“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.

Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch, “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows.

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”

Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”

Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”

She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.

“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”

Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips.

“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”

Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress.

“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge.

“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer.

There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles.

***

Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob.

She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.

And then she gets up and goes on with her day.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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g0ldenbritney · 3 months ago

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TODD ANDERSON HEADCANONS (+blurbs) ༄

a/n: it’s officially fall in my town, that means its time to be fixated on dead poets society so be ready ;3 (ps. Anything I write is usually for all genders💕)

DATING HEADCANONS (50s-60s)

- actually so sweet

- big on words of affirmation, mostly when you say it to him. But I feel like everyone says thats “so him” so im gonna be different and say he loves gift giving. Not talking about him spoiling or anything but it would be cute if you made you bracelets all the time <33!!

- his love language might be gift giving but DO NOT. Give him gifts. (You will anyways.) because he doesn’t know how to react when he gets them. He gives off that energy who awkwardly opens birthday presents and doesn’t know whether to say thank you or not.

Todd has been making you so many things lately, poems, bracelets, flowers he made with paper. Really anything he could craft, you knew you had to get him something to just to be nice.

So you went into town and bought a sweater you thought would fit him nicely and waited until after school and he was studying in his dorm room to give it to him. You swing open the door without knocking

“Ohh Todd~” you say in a somewhat sing-song voice.

He looks up from his notebook, you can see that little nervous smile appear on his lips, even more so when he sees a box in your hand

“Whats that?”

You hand the box to him and immediately he looks nervous, he looks up at you, then the box, then at you, then finally opens it and pulls out the sweater

“Uhh..”

“Do you like it?” You ask.

“Uhm, ah, yeah. I-I do. I really do I just..how do I prove to you that I like it?”

- boy is definitely a cuddler, maybe not so much when hes awake but as soon as he falls asleep he is clinging onto you like he will fall off a cliff if he lets go.

- if you have younger siblings you would be more than happy to watch them for you, well, if they’re toddlers or babies. He would never babysit someone over the age of 10..worried they’ll be mean or something!

- give him a stuffed animal, he deserves it.

You walk into his dorm room holding onto your older stuffed animal, you dont even say anything you just hand it to him

“Whats thi-“ you cut him off

“I have to go on a field trip this week so you better take care of him!”

Todd nods quickly

“Trust me I will.”

HEADCANONS (modern au)

- read somewhere that he would totally play animal crossing and havent thought of anything else since

(taking you back to 2020 for this, so sorry😔)

Todd sat in your office chair, all curled up with his knees to his chin. He was holding his switch in his hands that you unsurprisingly got him for his birthday.

“What are ya doin?” You ask, leaning on his shoulder

“Animal Crossing.” He mumbles, almost like he was talking to himself. Damn that boy was FOCUSED.

- definitely had an “art ho” phase in 2018 dont come at me

- All these like headcanons say he would listen to really cool music but I feel like he would want to but doesn’t know how find cool artists (so me) so he would have to ask around😔

- definitely has a letterboxd

- I see him as a gossiper, dont come for me but if someone was caught vaping in the bathrooms he would definitely be the one to spread the info around (with the help of Neil because he told Neil first)

- WEARS CLAW CLIPS. Dont play w me rn. If it was a modern au i imagine his hair to be just a little longer, maybe surfacing to a wolf cut but just a lot shorter. Long enough where you could put half up in a claw clip (JUST IMAGINE IT)

- was a victim of the 2021 ed Sheeran jokes

#films #dead poets society #fall vibes #dead poets fandom #dead poets headcanons #dps headcanons #dps #todd anderson #todd anderson x reader #todd anderson headcanons #todd anderson x yn #g0ldenbritney

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888-fr · 7 months ago

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WHY I DON'T RETIRE MY SKINS: an essay

Disclaimer that I'm speaking from a point of being established here, because not everybody can afford to run their skin shop like I do. I don't judge less established artists for needing to limit their skins because they can't afford to print a run with only 2 people on it. I'm also not judging anybody who does retire their skins after a set number of prints - whole different matter! I'm giving an opinion piece based on my own personal thoughts about running my own skin shop.

Okay, now that's out of the way. I really dislike the idea of time-limiting my skins. There's just no actual justification for me, as an established skin artist, to limit skins I know will sell... aside from prestige, and putting buying pressure on my customers. So there's a couple of reasons I don't like that:

1) Erodes trust in the artist.

Yes, I could probably make more money if I kept my skins limited so people HAD to pick up my skin on release. Maybe even all 4 colors of the skin, including the one they don't really keep in their hoard. Just in case they want it down the line but it won't be available anymore.

Is this good business practice though? Do I want people to start feeling panicked every time I ping for a release, because they just picked up a new project and really really CAN'T afford to be buying skins right now but there's 5 colorways of my skin available and they'll probably be resold for 2kg as soon as they retire?

Personally, no! I want people excited when I ping, not feeling dread in their hearts and budgets. I want people to be thinking: 'Awesome, a new skin! I can't afford that right now but I know he always keeps a few on the AH at print price even after preorders end. Even if I can't buy a skin just this moment, I'll be sure to keep an eye on his thread for when I have gems again.' Or: "Awesome, a new skin! This one doesn't appeal to my lair aesthetic, so I will just nod and smile. I don't feel the need to buy it in case it gets popular for resale, because it will always be on the AH for print price."

People tell me about unsubscribing from GASP because they get anxiety being pinged for skins they want but can't have. So I want people to stay on my pinglist because there's no pressure on them whatsoever to purchase anything. It'll always be here, okay? In the meantime, just enjoy the art, maybe preview it on a scry or two. I'll be here if you're back in three weeks, or three months.

2) Passive income!

I lied. I probably would've made less money time limiting all my skins than by keeping my skins restocked. A couple of reasons for this:

- My earlier skins sold worse. This isn't psychology, it's just numbers. Some of my most popular stock were made early on in 2021/2022. I didn't have that many sales then, so could you imagine if I had retired them immediately after that? There's 230something copies of SAILOR'S WARNING out in the world right now. If that skin was time limited after preorders died down, I would've sold "only" 50 forever.

- People see my shop stock whenever you ping for a new releases. I get 3-4 sales off auction house whenever I release something new and people check my front page. It's not a lot but it's consistent.

- It's a win-win situation, okay? If a skin is popular, there's no reason to time limit it to drive up sales. If it IS popular, then people are going to see it on other people's dragons, go "damn that's a nice skin," and maybe do an AH search for it. And if there's a cheap print price copy available, they're gonna buy it.

2) Reprints are easy!

It was a lot more annoying to keep track of queue numbers and inventory back when reprints had to go through regular queue for a week. Did I put in 10 copies of SUNHEAVEN already? Wait, are my kitsune aethers back yet? How many of MOLOCH are still listed?

Now I can put in a blueprint and get my reprint instantly. No fuss at all.

3) I don't want to buy into the 'this is a retired skin' hype...

This is just personal preference. It makes me feel a little bad when a public skin I made is popular and people can't afford to have it. I'm not judging anybody who does like it when their skins are rare, special, and sought after.

It's just... I get that part of my brain scratched from my customs. They're gorgeous, they're 5 prints, they're on the AH for 30kg if you really want one. Most importantly they're niche and high coverage enough that even if someone hadn't paid me to draw an exclusive skin specifically for their dragon, they'd never do well as a public skin anyway.

Here are some tips for people looking into keeping their skins unlimited:

- You don't need to do it like I do.

Blueprints are expensive. Even I don't have my entire catalogue stocked, only the ones I noticed always have reprint requests. For example, only SAILOR'S WARNING out of 4 total colors for my impm skins is kept stocked because the others don't sell enough to justify it.

If you can't afford to stock them 10 at a time, have the customer provide the blueprints. Shelving your skins but having them be reprintable with a BP and a fee (350g is good for 850g print prices; remember, 500g of that went to you purchasing blueprints in the public run, so it doesn't make sense to charge customers a whole 850g when they're already providing the blueprint) is a good alternative to permanently retiring your skins. You don't get a ton of people who can afford that, but the option is there for people who want it.

- Notice which skins sell!

If you already have a good amount of skins in catalogue and have trouble figuring out which ones to begin stocking, you can start by checking in with your pinglist. Poll them and see which ones you'd want to rerun.

- Don't have so many recolors.

It's a law of the universe that they more recolors you have, the worse they sell collectively. I usually do 2, no more than 3. If you have to time limit your skins to get 6 recolors to hit print, then it's time to cut those recolors down.

There's reasons for this: it's choice paralysis, people may want 'complete sets' and will skip out if you're making that complete set cost 4kg total, and it just plain doesn't make sense for very similar color schemes to cover 4 different skins. Feel free to print personal recolors or have custom recolors open.

#flight rising #my stuff #flight rising skins #long post

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vavuska · 4 months ago

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Elon Musk is threatening a Brazilian Supreme Court justice after the court issued a summons to him which threatens the suspension of Twitter if he does not comply within 24 hours.

To combat disinformation, Brazil gave a Supreme Court justice sweeping powers to order social networks to take down content he believed threatened democracy. Here's how the experiment led to a ban on X, the social network owned by Elon Musk.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/31/world/americas/brazil-x-ban-free-speech.html?smid=threads-nytimes

Elon Musk claims this is a censorship, because previously he was ordered to ban and close a lot of far-rights account that spread fake news and hate online by that same judge. As protest, Musk closed X offices in Brazil - which means people losing their job or their income.

When free speech is interpreted as anything which matches the law (and viceversa). Under Elon Musk's Leadership, Twitter has approved 83% of censorship requests by authoritarian governments globally. The social network has restricted and withdrawn content critical of the ruling parties in Turkey and India, among other countries, including during electoral campaigns.

Since Musk assumed control in October 2022, the platform has received a total of 971 government requests, a significant increase compared to the 338 received between October 2021 and April 2022.

Prior to Musk's takeover, Twitter had agreed to 50 per cent of such requests, as indicated in their last transparency report. However, no transparency reports have been published since October 2022, making it challenging to assess the current situation. Nevertheless, data from the technology information portal Rest of World suggests that the compliance rate has risen to 83 per cent following Musk's leadership, which again contribute to detect what Elon Musk REALLY think about free-speech: this right is granted only if comply to what oppressive governments and far-right politician approves. Discrimination and criminal behavior are allowed and protected under Musk's Leadership, because targets minorities, immigrants and political oppositors. Musk is a conservative and apply censorship, he isn't the victim of a 'woke' complot lead against him. Musk is receiving the payment for his unlawful action.

Source: El Pais English

As far I can understand, without having many clues here, this order of summon says that Elon Musk refused to appoint a legal rapresentative for X Brasil. For some typology of corporates Brazil require a % of residents in management or a legal rapresentative, with power to vote and deliberate in meetings, to operate online in the country. Yeah. Law apparently seems to be applied to everyone except him.

Summons with translation.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/28/technology/brazil-x-ban-elon-musk.html

Edit: A legal rapresentative is more a managerial position than what do you think of. Yes, it could be an attorney or a lawyer too, but still isn't simply the guy who defend the corporate's interests in court. In Brazil you need a % of residents in management position to operate. This was a problem issued also with WhatsApp and Telegram.

Edit 2 - 31th August 2024: I was curious about the consequences of Musk's decision to close X's offices in Brazil for his employees. Have they been fired? Suspended with or without salary? I didn't find anything. However, I found this article that adds some informations, like Musk declaring he did this to "protect his staff". However, his legal rapresentative is impossible to be found.

Edit 3 - 31th August 2024: Another article of NY Times that analyzes the matter.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/18/world/americas/elon-musk-x-brazil.html

Update - 31th August 2024: Brazil has turned off Twitter. Musk’s genius is again on glorious display in losing the 7th most populous country in the world. Oh well. At least the Cybertruck is doing awesome.

Another Update - 31th August 2024: Musk is freaking out right now. He knows if he gets blocked in Brazil it is just a matter of time before other countries follow suit.

However, someone forgot to tell Musk that you get fined for using VPNs to access Twitter in Brazil before he posted this.

Also seems that for a tech genius Musk isn't very smart though, doesn't he know using a VPN will worth the same with apps as it does with a browser?

However, The Brazilian Supreme Court has moderated its first rule. First, even the VPN apps were targeted and should be banned from App store and Google Store to prevent people getting access to Twitter exclusively. Now, the Court realized that banning VPNs is too extreme, so they will only apply a 50k (about $8,900) fine for those caught accessing the platform.

Basically, you don't get fined for using VPNs, that would be too 1984. You might get fined if they FIND OUT that you're accessing X via VPNs, and this is exactly the kind of thing VPNs are designed to prevent.

Just a reminder, you can always access better platform than X, even on your phone. No app is needed.

VPNs are great tools to use worldwide to get around authoritarian and abusive government surveillance and blocking. Zero to do with Musk. And they can only catch you if you aren't savvy.

In a perfect world you shouldn't need to download any VPNs to access innocent contents, because democratic countries will never block a platform that gives informations and entertainment to people. In a perfect world you won't be stuck with platforms that are not free from disinformation and neo-nazi posts.

3rd Update - 31th August 2024:

Musk owns more of SpaceX than Zuck owns of Meta or Bezos owns of Amazon, fwiw. For all intents and purposes, Musk is Twitter, SpaceX, Neuralink and X.

I'm gonna add some technicalities here:

In Brazil there is something called "Corporate Personality" that protects the shareholders patrimony from the company's debts.

But... If you hide behind legal shenanigans in a fraudulent manner, "corporate personality" is bypassed and thus the court moves into your personal patrimony.

Elon is, personally and fraudulently, removing X office from Brazil so they don't obey Brazilian laws.

So the judges target him on his other shares: SpaceX and Starlink.

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crepesuzette2023 · 1 year ago

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Your top 5 favorite Mclennon quotes?

Hi Anon, thank you for asking! The following aren't quotes I'd construct into any kind of 'proof' (whether I'm into this or not is another set of footnotes, which I'll spare you), but quotes that illustrate that John and Paul's relationship was fascinating and intense, and puzzling to themselves and others (incl. yours truly). 1.) “Meeting Paul was just like two people meeting. Not falling in love or anything. Just us. It went on. It worked.” — John Lennon - The Beatles by Hunter Davies

2.) “Lennon had attitude, and, taking his lead from Lennon, McCartney could be similar. At times, they reminded me of those well-to-do Chicago lads Leopold and Loeb, who killed someone because they felt superior to him. Lennon and McCartney were ‘superior human beings’.” — Bob Wooler in Mark Lewisohn’s Tune In

3.) “John and Paul paired off - only to find themselves stuck together for life. For John, Paul was the boy who came to stay; for Paul, John was the song he couldn’t make better” — Rob Sheffield, Dreaming The Beatles

4.) TELL ME WHO HE IS. Early song by Paul McCartney, included in The Lyrics (2021). Written in the late 50’s/early 60’s, according to the caption. (photo of journal page)

Tell me who he is Tell me that you’re mine not his He says he loves you more than I do Tell me who he is

Tell him where to go Tell him that I love you so He couldn’t love you more than I do Tell me who he is

5.) John Lennon's word association list from 1976 New York: great Elvis: fat Ringo: friend Yoko: love Howard Cosell: hum George: lost Bootlegs: good Elton: nice Paul: extraordinary Bowie: thin MBE: shit John: great

BONUS TRACK: “I had signs that the group was gonna break up, because… I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away."— Paul McCartney (1985), link to interview here

PLAY IT BACKWARDS: "LONDON (AP) — John Lennon wrote vitriolic comments about fellow-Beatle Paul McCartney in a picture biography of the famed pop group, providing new evidence of the tensions between them, the Observer newspaper said Sunday. [...]

"Lennon marked almost every one of the 76 pages with corrections and comments, including one that the Observer took as an indication the group already was experimenting with drugs in the 1960s. [...]

"In an entry noting McCartney’s marriage to Linda Eastman, Lennon crossed out “wedding” and wrote “funeral”, the Observer said. [...]

"But in a final tender moment, the Observer said, Lennon wrote under a photo of himself with McCartney: “The minutes are crumbling away.” (full article.)

#mclennon #John Lennon #Paul McCartney #asks

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zahri-melitor · 5 months ago

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Batman v Ra's Al Ghul, by Neal Adams: A Bronze Age fever dream of a comic, written in 2019-2021.

Neal Adams caps off his over 50 year career with DC comics by...them letting him write a book for the first time in a decade.

Now, Adams is famous for his Bronze Age artwork, not his writing, and it's deservedly so: this is not the comic you would pick up if you were interested in award winning writing. But I have to say, it's actually something far more fun than 'good writing'.

I think the easiest way to describe the incredibly wild vibes of this title are 'Adams writes a multiverse Bronze Age time travel AU fic', where the cast technically consists of a modern set of characters (Dick is Nightwing and both Tim and Damian are Robin), but all of the characters are drawn, talking and acting like they just walked off a page in 1974 or so.

For assistance, that's: Dick in the yellow with the very 70s black vest; Tim in the blue t-shirt; Damian in the red t-shirt; and Bruce in the suit. You end up keeping track of them in this title by their haircuts.

Bruce and Damian here cannot remember anything about being Batman and Robin; Dick and Tim appear to have shown up with a fantastical story that cannot be proven (as I said, this has INCREDIBLE reality hopping AU vibes).

Some of the characters have been mindwiped. Some of the characters are robot duplicates. A whole list of characters Adams helped create show up largely because he created them (seriously Kirk and Francine Langstrom show up for a couple of pages mostly to give Dick and Tim an airlift into a difficult to reach entrance to the Cave). Nobody sounds particularly in character at any point, but that's not really a problem in this comic, because what it really is is a giant jolt of Bronze Age style writing nostalgia direct to the brainstem.

They don't make comics like this anymore and reading one written in the 2020s like this reinforces why.

Deadman's brother Aaron and sister Zeea show up; his brother is busy pretending to be an alternate Australian version of Batman called Marvin O'Hearn, and his sister is a psychic running around in the most 70s outfit imaginable controlling things and mindwiping Bruce on Ra's orders.

(And yes, if you too just asked 'Boston Brand has siblings???' the answer is 'kinda sorta but definitely not these two', however given Adams was writing Boston in 1968 at one point he's got as much right as anyone else to claim there are additional siblings)

There's a group who PRETEND to be the Court of Owls but secretly are a group of industrialists called The Money who want to control the world via paying for legislators, judges and industry (and yes I realise that sounds exactly like the Court's thing, but Adams was almost 80 when he wrote this, he can have an expy Court if he wants one).

Bruce pretends to be Matches for a good chunk of the back end of this comic and it actually acknowledges that Matches Malone was a real gangster before he died and Bruce stole his identity (something other writers and the fandom often forget), because Adams wants one more spin with the character he designed.

There's also a moment in the sixth issue where one of Ra's pet scientists tries to sell a panel of Gotham execs on a perpetual motion machine based on electrolysis as his replacement for the current Gotham power generators and at this point I lost it giggling at the portrayal of Ra's as a cheap charlatan.

(There is also a sneaky joke that only works if you know what British salad cream is; there's this sequence of the kids talking about Alfred making sandwiches with 'crappy salad dressing' instead of mayonnaise, only this tray has been made with mayo...and it's a hint that Alfred has been replaced by a robot. I laughed; I suspect it might be non-obvious to American audiences)

This is not a comic to read if you are interested in 'main continuity' or 'coherence' or even 'good writing'. However if you want some wild antics that feel like someone's 3am fanfic AU written in pure Bronze Age vibes and to see the last work of one of Ra's Al Ghul's creators? Give it a chance. You'll never be able to predict what's on the next page.

#z canon read throughs #recent reads #I cannot say it was a GOOD read #but it was certainly a hilarious read #god bless every person who worked on this and probably looked at editorial going 'are we really publishing this???'#there is a reason they don't let Neal Adams write comics most of the time

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toasterpiastris · 4 months ago

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I agree that Oscars drive was amazing, and that was an amazing freaking pass. But Lando really did help him to win. Let’s hypothetically say Lando never made it that far up the field to help out. He held Sergio up by almost a second and a half, That means coming out of the pits, Sergio would be almost a second up the road on Oscar. Therefore when Leclerc pits a lap later, it’s not Oscar fighting Leclerc for the lead, now it’s Checo. So now we either have Sergio in the lead, or Oscar fighting Sergio for second. If Oscar is fighting for second, that gives Charles a chance to scamper off into the distance like he did in the first stint. So while Oscar deserves ALL the credit for his amazing driving, for his pass, for keeping Leclerc behind, he doesn’t even get the chance to do it if not for Lando. That is what being part of a team is all about, and what I think is getting lost in all this stupid Papaya Rules talk. As a fan of both drivers, I want them both to do well and win races. But at times, yes I think one or the other should be asked to do something they don’t want to do, that negatively impacts their race to help the other in order to help the team.

Every team does this, whether it’s Charles helping Carlos in Singapore last year, Fernando helping Lance to get his first win, or Checo helping Max to win the World Championship in 2021. It’s what McLaren have been missing. The ability to work as a team to maximize points. Lando helping Oscar doesn’t take the shine off his win, if anything it just makes it shinier. Shows that the team can work together, and is not as dysfunctional as it’s looked the past month or so. We should celebrate the achievements of both drivers!

100% agree. I think that (and I say this as an Oscar fan) the talks of Oscar being better, or more of a first driver are a bit premature rn. I honestly think they’re close to on equal footing currently, there is no clear “better driver,” at least in the last 10 or so races. Oscar is incredibly talented, he’s learned quickly, and he’s very laid back. But I find there are so many people completely discounting and discrediting Lando right now for reasons that aren’t always all that fair. I’ve seen so much about his mindset and how Oscar’s is better etc. etc. but this is very much so rooted in an anti mental health kind of stand point. Just because someone takes things hard, doesn’t mean they’re incapable. Lando started p15 for fucks sake, and he pulled through with a wonderful job. His defense for Oscar was a very helpful move, and to not acknowledge it is low key stupid. In the post that I’m pretty sure this ask was in response to, I was talking about how Andrea Stella saying that lando deserves 50% of the recognition for the win is kinda bs; honestly it seems like McLaren discredits both their drivers sooo much. As much as I don’t like the discourse about Oscar 2nd driver, lando has much more of a possibility at the championship. Also Oscar’s “2nd driver” thing would probably be much closer to what lando did in the Perez situation, not rolling over in a shit situation(Hungary looking at you lmao). Added to that, like Max said, Oscar isn’t typical 2nd driver material, and the whole idea of if you do it once you’ll never recover is bs in this instance. Oscar and lando both deserve their flowers for Sunday and they should be proud of themselves. People want so badly for another rancid brocedes-esque teammate rivalry, but lando and Oscar are so completely different from any of that. Oscar is way too calm about everything, and just look at Lando’s track record of teammate friendships. All in all, very well put anon, and I am done yapping now.

#lando norris #oscar piastri #mclaren #mctwins #F1 #formula one #azerbaijan gp 2024 #papaya rules #<-#I really do hate that name #Like what the hell is that eww

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valhethella · 2 years ago

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I got quite a few DMs over the weekend on twitter asking about my brushes, and as with anything, your mileage may vary, and digital art isn’t made or broken by brushes, but having them never hurt! Talking about how you use your tools is just as important as talking about what tools you use, so consider this a small breakdown of my process for digital sketching.

First thing’s first, I avoid sketching on an untextured canvas. If you like to have a flat, solid canvas, I recommend working at 50% grey, or adjusting your canvas to be slightly off-white. The harshness of black on pure-white can be a hang-up for many people, including myself.

I sketch on paper textures sourced from my own old sketchbooks and papers. The one I use most frequently is available in my Sketchbook Paper Pack, and named Off White.

While a true-to-life pencil look is not what I’m actively going for with my sketches, these papers certainly help achieve it.

I do almost all of my work in Procreate, but learned digital art first in Photoshop. Anything I share here in regards to how I use brushes can be applied to any brush, I’m certain!

For my sketches, you’re seeing the work of one brush and one eraser.

For my brush, I use an altered version of Procreate’s native HB Pencil brush that I’ve named HB Pencil Beefy. It’s available in my 2021 Brush Pack.

For my eraser, I use Alexa Sharpe’s Soft Eraser. It’s available in their Eraser Brush Pack.

I use my brush at pretty consistently set sizes that are based on my standard canvas size, which is 6″ x 9″ 400 dpi or I use a double spread of 12″ x 9″ 400 dpi.

(If you work in pixels that’s 2400x3600 at 400 dpi and 4800x3600 at 400 dpi)

HB Pencil Beefy I use at 4%, 15%, and 50% size, with the brush’s opacity set to either 60% or 15%.

I set the brush to 15% opacity when I want to go in very softly with lots of that pencil texture. I use this when I need to scale back and really rough something out, or if I’m trying to get a sense of volume with some shadows or contours.

With Alexa Sharpe’s Soft Eraser, I use the eraser set at 2%, 10%, and 25% size. I only scale back the opacity on the eraser if I want to take something back to nearly gone, but still want those lines, faint, there as a guideline.

Jumping back to my file setup really quick, I like to work in a digital sketchbook! It’s just a procreate canvas with a paper texture that’s creased down its center, and all the added layers are my pages. This helps me feel less pressured to create something perfect or finished; It gives me the illusion of just noodling in any old sketchbook.

Okay. Back to the pencil. Below, I have a small idea of my process in sketching and drawing. This is not a how-to-draw demo, and it’s definitely not an anatomy demo – it’s just how I approach drawing using this brush. The page below, and the one above, were both done on a 9″x 6″ canvas at 400 dpi.

01.

Loose and light

using brush at 50% size

this brush does have a tilt dynamic, but I’ve never used it

02.

Nastiest phase

building up a little opacity

still only using brush at 50% size

use eraser at 25% size, if at all

03.

start refining

come in with 15% sized brush

at no point do I abandon larger brushwork, it just becomes about more careful and purposeful use

use eraser to hatch and cut back roughs

04.

hello 4% brush my beautiful little boy ♡

hatching in detail

build up opacity, using eraser to bring it back and to carve volume

jump back to larger sizes for larger forms and volumes

fiddle until “finished”

P.S. the liquify tool is my best friend

#blog #Brushes #procreate brushes #Procreate #Digital #old art reposting saga

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mattcraft · 2 years ago

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So I was watching Ranboos old OSMP streams about a week ago, and while I’m absolutely definitely not looking too deeply into anything, I did end up finding something that made me pause and stare at the screen in silence:

(Clip is from “Ranboo finally becomes an Enderman - Origins SMP” vod and starts at 1:01:50)

[Start transcript]

Charlie: What kind of uh- what kind of house do you think I- I should have guys?

Ranboo: Um-

Wilbur (cutting him off): I think you- Open plan house. (his mic cuts mid sentence)

Charlie: Open plan?

Wilbur: Open plan!

Ranboo (talking over Wilbur): Ok, ok…

Wilbur: I think you need a house that facilitates your play style! As a slime, you need a house with many bounce zones, many little one-

Charlie (cutting him off): I agree-

Wilbur (continuing): Many little one block tall crawly zones.

Ranboo: Or-

Charlie (cutting him off): I completely agree-

Ranboo (continuing): Now hear me out… CABIN.

[End transcript]

I am VERY sure that this is just coincidence (mostly because this was uploaded over two years ago in February of 2021), however, at the mention of a CABIN in the context of making CHARLIE a house I couldn’t NOT have a visceral reaction to it.

#ranboo #origin smp #genloss #generation loss #ranboolive #ranboo generation loss #ranboo genloss #spk

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evermoreparkbadger · 1 month ago

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Timestamped responses to Jenny Nicholson's new Patreon ramble about Evermore.

You'll have to be subbed to her Patreon to have any context for these, but Patreon is also pretty bad at sorting and finding comments so I'm reposting it here for a bit more visibility.

4:34 I hadn’t heard of him either, despite the fact that I was a performer during time he was supposedly a manager. This isn’t really surprising, ground-level employees scarcely received communication from or about anything above their department’s management.

6:55 Hi Bob! He was actually a cast member at Evermore for one season. This was after he had already been reporting on Evermore for a while, and AFAIK none of his content even during or after that period was endorsed by the park. I can attest he is as friendly and genuine in person as he is in his videos, and a great guy.

7:07 There were several others during the first few years. After Evermore announced in early 2021 that they were discontinuing all stories, quest, and characters they had done up until that point and changing to a more story-light experience, several of the most dedicated fans and frequent guests stopped engaging with the park, including any who made content about it.

8:32 Yeah. They did reorganize and lay people off several times, but only below a certain point in seniority. Obviously Ken himself and any business partners or investors that had any stake in the company maintained control. Though, if they ever “managed” anything, it was done in a very hands-off way and dictated through several layers of employees.

9:55 This kind of toxic positivity is rampant in Utah. Any type of criticism or discontent towards any leadership, usually rich, straight, white men, is highly frowned upon. Literally, in this case. The people who dare to express negative opinions or challenge the status quo (who are often not rich straight white men) are then viewed as problematic and practically shunned. Anyone who criticizes or challenges is bad, bad people are untrustworthy, therefore their criticisms and opinions are invalid.

10:23 Also strange since he did create a TTRPG company. If anything, I think that would qualify someone as a “nerd” themselves.

10:45 Exactly!

11:12 Ken held strong control over a lot of aspects of the park and the business, but it’s obviously far too big of an operation for one person to micro-manage so much of it. Another example is he wouldn’t let anyone change the Evermore website. It was commonly suggested to use the website as a way to communicate storylines and background information for new guests but it never happened. It’s unclear if Ken outright refused that, or if he didn’t mind the idea but wouldn’t do it himself or let anyone else have access to do it.

13:25 There were times when the food at the park was good. I don’t know if they were only able to have better food by cutting corners, operating without being under code, and then changed once they were under scrutiny (remember when one of the buildings lit on fire?), or if they just cut costs.

17:40 I think [Jenny is] probably right, and I don’t think this was the only time it or something similar happened. There were several times Ken would try to bring new money in, and sometimes people would bite-only to quickly back out after learning how bad the situation was.

18:50 That would require admitting fault or failure from park leadership, and thus would have never happened.

22:50 This aggravates me lol. Changing the official Facebook page name for the park changed all my “worked at” and tagged posts to say “Thecrookedlantern” instead of “Evermore Park” and it looks awful and drives me crazy.

23:30 I’m definitely biased here but I do think that some of the intellectual property that Ross now owns does have some value, or at least at one point had the potential to, but ironically it was all but abandoned after the aforementioned 2021 announcement. The worldbuilding and characters had their moments, and the Evermore Realms card game, while a relatively small project, was reportedly actually profitable for Evermore. There was an entire second set of cards designed and ready to print that never saw the light of day. Furthermore, even though Ross technically owns all the intellectual property from Evermore, he might not even be aware of most of it. Even if he was it probably wasn't properly archived anywhere. He’d have to dig through old employee emails Google Drives to piece it together, if that data even still exists or he has any way to access it, or rehire someone who worked on it to attempt to recreate it.

25:25 An Evermore property only designed to look nice and not actually facilitate people or events there? Consider me shocked. /s

30:00 Beyond the Gates is not the first former employee/fans spiritual successor that has been attempted. I was briefly involved with a group called Mynheras larp that was also the same concept. Their goal was to not have the same problems Evermore had and then almost immediately began falling apart because they were having the same problems Evermore had-at least on the creative side of things. They didn’t have any money. I haven’t worked with Beyond the Gates but there are good and talented people who are involved and I wish them the best.

31:20 I’d like to think most of us are appreciative towards the work [Jenny] did and agree with all the criticism [Jenny] made (and more), and I know several of us are, but it is Utah. I would be disappointed, but not surprised, to find a handful who hold undue resentment towards [Jenny].

39:00 I don’t know anything about this exhibit in particular, but there were so many incredibly talented people who were exploited, burned, and abandoned by Evermore. Several sculptors and creature-creators worked for months to years before the park opened, and then were laid off within months of the park opening. I’m glad to see some of their efforts and creations survived and are being put to some use.

42:30 I’m getting emotional and nostalgic seeing these omg ;_;

44:25 oh I’m so glad you had the opportunity to speak to one of them directly!

44:50 YES. This was actually a part of a big and surprising problem with Evermore’s development and how there was no intellectual property developed (e.g. story and characters) before they had to start building them. I’ll go into this in more depth in my eventual video about my experiences at Evermore if I ever finish it

45:28 yep yep yep

46:20 YEP YEP YEP

47:00 I actually didn’t know a lot of this either and it explains a lot.

47:20 and while I’m sure this all true, a lot of the puppets and creature suits did fall into significant disrepair and were never fixed.

51:20 I never personally saw any of this behavior but I did hear about it from others who I 100% believe.

52:00 My impression is that he’s not evil or malicious per se, but is someone whose ego far surpasses his competence and refuses to acknowledge or accept his failures or shortcomings. When confronted with them, he lashes out.

EDIT: I have since seen his recent Twitter replies. He has gone full alt-right Musk bro. Evermore was something of a haven for a lot of marginalized communities in Utah, not to mention -he has queer children himself-, so him revealing those opinions is a complete betrayal. I try to afford some benefit of doubt where possible, but he’s shown his true colors.

55:00 this is hilarious and I never heard these details before. While, I believe, none of the displays were intended to be specifically religious, several of the antiques were originally religious in nature and several sculptures made for the park were themed similarly. It all felt very classically Catholic or Anglican, which is funny to do in Utah where the population is very religious and conservative but specifically (and proudly) NOT Catholic or Anglican. Mormons. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

56:55 lmao we literally called that building “the barn” the first couple of seasons.

57:55 I was under the impression that the tavern was one of the few that was an original design, but maybe that was just the interior.

59:10 As far as I know, they never attempted to sell liquor on the park premises outside of the premium special events and Vander’s Keep. Corners were cut constantly, but I don’t think they were ever this bold with it. I’m sure he wanted to, but it would be impossible to get away with in Utah. It would stand out so much compared to any other similar attraction in the state, and enough of the population would actually be shocked and offended at the presence of alcohol that some suburban parents with too much time on their hands would report them immediately.

1:00:30 I don’t recall any specific details but there were several liens and lawsuits from contractors who weren’t paid even in the first year Evermore was open.

1:01:40 I’m not an authority on this subject but I don’t actually think this was the case for this building. The upper floor did have “pillars”, but they weren’t put in until several years after the park opened and were clearly fake and not structurally integral. There were antique stone columns in the park (and I once heard they were actually the oldest artifacts on site), but they were across the graveyard from the building around the weird shrine with the antique statue of Saint Apollonia, the Catholic patron saint of dentistry. To be clear, the mausoleum could easily have not been up to code but it wasn’t because there were marble columns in the upper floor. I’m not trying to defend the park by any means, but I’d like to try to keep the facts straight to paint an accurate picture.

1:03:50 These details are also new to me and also not a surprise. Infrastructure throughout the park was very limited. Again, I’m not an expert and don’t know the specifics, but the idea of hosting mid-sized performances and concerts was brought up several times almost immediately when the park opened, and I was told the infrastructure couldn’t support anything like that. Not even electricity for proper lights and sound.

1:04:50 As far as I know this is correct. I’m sure new owners wouldn’t want to inherit all the problems, debts, and negative reputation Evermore Park the company has, but it is sad that the park and the intellectual property have been separated.

1:12:13 I’m getting flashbacks to hbomberguy revealing that Tommy Tallarico wasn’t actually on MTV Cribs

1:16:00 While I’m also not particularly optimistic, this is still a much better outcome than having it all be demolished and bulldozed for condominiums.

1:20:00 This isn’t the first time this has happened in Utah. They seem to be copying a trend of semi-high-profile scavenger hunts that have taken place in the state over the past several years. Unsurprisingly, the winners are always the people who can afford to commit the most time to it (i.e. not working a day job), which aren’t the people that could use the money the most.

1:32:20 Amongst the several, several red flags around Realm Town (and that terrible, terrible name), the one point of optimism I’ll give is that the man in this footage here (he’s not as public as the owners so I won’t name him but for all I know he introduces himself in one of their videos) is the former “Project Director” at Evermore from late 2019 until the layoffs in 2021, and was in a senior creative position for at least a year before that. He was creatively involved in all the storylines and “gameplay” that existed during what is considered to be Evermore’s peak, and experienced firsthand all the traps, shortcomings, frustrations, and challenges in developing and operating Evermore. Him returning to the land formerly-known-as-Evermore is something of a redemption arc, or could be. I would say that because of his direct, firsthand experience that he is one of the more qualified people who could direct this project, but judging by everything you’re pointing out here I worry he is in a similar position under the Foxes as he was under Ken. But I also wonder, because of the new ownership’s apparent cluelessness and aimlessness, if he and/or other people passionate about the park were the ones who encouraged them to purchase the land in the first place.

1:50:40 Meh. If they didn’t know what they were getting into when they purchased the land then you’re just educating them about it now. Anyone reasonable would be grateful for it, but maybe it’s unrealistic to expect that anyone who owns these projects to be reasonable.

1:52:10 Oh! There it is! The card game. I am forever bitter about it because the characters I played weren’t included in the initial set that was printed but were going to be in the finished but unpublished second set. Someone who had connections to its development very generously leaked the art to me and it’s amazing and I don’t know if I can even legally share it.

I moved states after my last season at Evermore in August 2023, so I don’t have too much more insight into Realm Town or any other ongoing developments. What small relevance I’ve had here is quickly diminishing haha. I mentioned in another comment that I’m working on a video describing my experiences at Evermore. I say this not to self-promote, but hopefully by making myself accountable to some other people I might be encouraged enough to actually finish it. Big thanks yet again to Jenny for her earnest and thorough approach to this fascinating topic (and to all the topics she covers on her channel) that means a lot, or meant a lot, to several passionate and talented people and for encouraging large-scale creative endeavors to meet their potential by offering helpful and specific criticisms and ideas.

#jenny nicholson #evermore park #evermore #youtube #video essay #patreon #Realm Town #jenny #evermorepark #Jennynicholson #galactic starcruiser #starcruiser #larp #interactive #immersive #immersive experience #theme park #fantasy #roleplay

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