#5+1 calls fic

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

wip wednesday

tagged by @elvensorceress @wildlife4life @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @exhuastedpigeon @monsterrae1 @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @theotherbuckley

thank ya darlins! <3

a snippet from calls fic for ya'll which can now receive my full attention and hopefully be finished soon!

Eddie has already caused enough harm, forcing his feelings onto Buck, feelings that aren’t wanted or needed or reciprocated, injuring both of them in the process.

And it’s affecting Chris too.

Chris has been asking for days now why Buck hasn’t come over, why he only gets to talk to Buck on the phone, why he and Eddie are acting weird around each other.

Eddie didn’t have any bit of his heart left to try and explain things to his son, to let Chris know how pathetic he is and affirm the fact that he only ever ruins everything between him and the people he and Chris love most, chasing everyone away until it’s just the two of them again.

Eventually Chris got tired of Eddie’s non answers, refusing to accept Eddie’s attempts to convince him that nothing is wrong and Buck has just been busy and is still recovering and needs his alone time.

Every excuse only made Chris frown, expression darkening the way Shannon’s always did when she was fed up with Eddie’s bullshit, and he threw a fit last night, asking Eddie what he did to make Buck go away.

Eddie almost told him then. He almost said I fell in love with him, kid. That’s what I did. But the words dried up somewhere between his sternum and throat, leaving him silent and gaping.

A haggard silence crackled in between them in the wake of Eddie's inability to be honest, and Eddie just watched as Chris’ face fell, his bottom lip trembling noticeably before he turned away and went into his room where he stayed for the rest of the night.

tagging @spaceprincessem @diazass @chronicowboy @911onabc @loserdiaz @gayedmundodiaz @watchyourbuck @devirnis @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @shitouttabuck @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @bvckandeddie @colonoscopys @messyhairdiaz @rewritetheending @wh0re-behavi0r @evcndiaz @bigfootsmom @honestlydarkprincess @vampbuckley @butchdiaz @bucks118 @spotsandsocks @buddierights @rogerzsteven and anyone else who wants to share!

[huntingrays]

it’s my bday :3

here, dear valgrace community, take a gift from me to you!

🩵❤️

Leo did not have the most pleasant experience with men, especially kind ones. As a result, he swears to never fall for another guy or read too much into their acts of kindness.

His plan was a success until he met Jason Grace, the golden boy who stole his heart. He's everything Leo could want in a man and is incredibly nice to Leo.

Surely his kindness is just that and isn't anything more. After all, there's no way someone like Jason Grace likes him... right?

____

or, the five times Leo thinks Jason is just being nice (and the one time he finds out he isn't).

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Soap having a soulmate string for ghost.

Ghost not being able to see that string yet for some reason or another. (Hasn’t realized feelings yet, just can’t see them, something on his end has to happen first. Whatever the AU dictates)

For years soap has been notoriously awful at finding exfil without being explained the directions like 3 times.

But now that ghost and he are on a team?

Soaps just starts using the string to get to exfil.

He doesn’t tell anyone why his sudden and significant improvement to finding the RV, but Price sure is wondering.

Also the fact that this new found ability seems to “randomly” completely disappear sometimes (on missions without ghost) I bet the first few times the Sargent regressed to his old ways Price nearly threw a fit.

Sillies ensue.

[heretoobsessstuff]

Last line tag/WIP Wednesday

Thank u sm for the tag @majorbuckyegan and also @hogans-heroes for tagging me last week hehe i didn’t have much to post then but i’ve made some progress since and i’m happy to share more “Babe can I call” snippets with uuuuuuu ❤️

(5 times John calls Gale in the middle of the night and 1 time Gale does instead)

Here’s John being a drunk yearning mess:

John stood up, wobbling on his feet as Gale steadied him. Turning to look at him, John noticed Gale was in his regular pants and sleep shirt, smelling like soap and fading aftershave, blond hair tousled like he had just rolled out of bed. His face was stubbled, eyes soft and tired. John swallowed, feeling his heart clench at the sight.

“Came in your civvies, huh?” he slurred, resting a heavy hand across Gale’s shoulders. Gale hummed and braced his waist.

“You look nice. Sleepy. I like it.” Gale gave him a funny look, an unreadable expression passing over his face for a moment before he turned to the bartender, his voice warm yet apologetic. “Sorry for the trouble.”

John didn’t hear what the bartender said next. Didn’t even pay attention to whether Gale paid the tab or not before they managed to leave the bar. Everything around him was blurry and his whole world seemed to be narrowed to Gale. John’s gaze was solely focused on his eyes, his nose, the little freckles under his eyes and over his cheekbones, his plump lips.

Gale had beautiful lips. They looked pink, soft with a subtle sheen, kissable. Sometimes when his mind wandered, he would imagine what they would taste like, how they would feel pressed against his own. John loved Gale’s lips. He wanted to tell him that.

“You have nice lips. Anyone ever tell you that?”

Hmmmmm who to taggg @alienoresimagines @valstarsandgalaxies @amiserableseriesofevents and uno-reverse to @hogans-heroes absolutely zero pressure and I apologize in advance if u have done it already!

[quaranmine]

me: i'm super tired what if i go to bed early

my brain: what if you, after attempting to go to sleep, instead sit up in bed again, grab your laptop, and write 2000 words of jimmy having watcher religious trauma

[one-strugling-bean]

Have we ever discussed how "Watchdog" could just be the name of the army?

idk, this has definitely been brought up before, but like... it feels so possible?? (even tho I'm almost 100% certain it isn't) And i wanna talk abt it soo

Right off the bat, when you compare Watchdog to other species names from woy, it looks off. You have Zbornaks, Bingleblorps, Mooplexians, etc etc -- Watchdog doesn't rly fit with that, right? It's just an english word

And its not just any english word - its a word that details the 2 biggest qualities of the watchdogs as an army: their eyes and their loyalty/obedience. (At least that's what I'm assuming. I don't think its ever mentioned if their eyesight is rly good, but yeah.)

From my 2 min of research, i got that typically Watchdog is a term used for trained guard dogs (idk if that's common knowledge. maybe it is and I'm just sounding dumb here). So I can very easily imagine Peepers coming up with this name to elevate the species' credit as an evil army.

Like - they're not super smart, nor physically strong, buuuut they are easy to manage, you can order them around, they have good eyesight (which means good for guarding/reconnaissance), and are pretty loyal. So, Watchdogs.

(I imagine Peepers saying this^ last paragraph to Hater like a sales pitch.)

On a less positive side, the name also feels like it could be a little offensive. Like... you're calling them dogs. Dangerous dogs, but dogs nonetheless. Like they're pets, inferior to people in a way.

Whenever i get to this point, I always remember how genuinely mad Peepers sounds when Hater calls his "eyeball guys" dogs in The Axe. Peepers be like "f u, my people may be incompetent as shit, but they aren't pets."

(which does clash with the idea that peepers was the one to name them, cause like, what, did he just not realize the consequences of what he was calling his army? but hey, that's why this is a theory)

Also, word for word what Peepers answers Hater there is "They're not dogs either! They're-!" and then he's cut off :[

What are they, peepers?? What are all of you??? I WANT ANSWERS!! 

[meowmeowriley]

What if I said I wanted to write a 5+1 fic? What if I said it was a song fic? Huh? What then? What if I said it was 5 times throughout his life Simon Riley listened to Last Resort by Papa Roach while barely hanging on by a thread, and 1 time Ghost listened to Last Resort - Reimagined by Falling in Reverse and he broke down. What. Then? Huh? HUH?!

Anyway. As you were.

[ai-higurashi]

I think all the triplets have, accidentally or on purpose, called Beakley "granny" at one point or another.

Louie is the first one to slip up and it's like calling the teacher "mom". Beakley doesn't comment on it but if Scrooge notices she's happier than usual afterwards despite acting as normal as possible, no he didn't <3.

Webby is ecstatic about it each and every time .

[bizarrelittlemew]

pssst hey if you want an Ed/Stede wedding there is one in the epilogue of Something timeless going on 💕 my first multi-chapter fic that i wrote almost a year ago (37k, E, canon divergence/pining while fucking)

[irondadfics]

hi!!! i cant find this one irondad fanfic and was wondering if you could help?

i remember it, if im not wrong, being a 5+1 fic (but tbh i could be misremembering that). i remember the first chapter being a very drugged up peter (after an injury i believe) calling tony "dad" and not remembering it, but thats sadly all i can recall

thank you!!!!!

sorry for the wait, but could Chapter 6 of this one be your fic?

Wait, What Did I Just Say? by Jen27ny

This is Part 2 of the Was that a Star Wars reference, Dr. Stark? series.

Peter was getting used to the fact that Tony was his father. The most difficult part: not calling him Mr. Stark anymore. So what should he call him instead?

[abcwordsurge]

my toxic trait is that whenever someone says that their otp is a rare pair I point to my otps and say YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A RARE PAIR IS YOU NORMIE

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

several sentences sunday

tagged by @sibylsleaves @honestlydarkprincess @try-set-me-on-fire @confetti-cupcake @bekkachaos @fiona-fififi @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @wikiangela @bidisasterevankinard

thanks lovelies! <3

more from calls fic which i may be writing til i die but it's fine

It feels like that would be important, intimate, monumental, him blushing while speaking to Buck through waves he doesn’t really understand, nothing but each other’s voice in their ears as Eddie speaks through a smile designed for Buck and a stain on his cheeks he thinks might be designed for Buck as well.

Eddie doesn’t think he is ready for that yet.

Whatever that is.

It’s something elusive. Something hushed. Something brutal. Something serene. Something far too much like the safety and spirituality Eddie was supposed to feel walking across lacquered floors and stained glass towards an altar that was only ever dull to him even in the sunlight. Like maybe he has finally found the glow that others saw only in sacred spaces and hidden gods.

Eddie isn’t sure what to do with it, has never been adept at handling things that aren’t rough and jagged enough to cut his palms, drawing out the only communion that ever felt real to him.

Anything resembling divinity, anything velvety soft, anything that’s not a self-made grave and bloodied dirt stuck under fingernails and miles of difficulty to travel, he has no idea how to handle, how to make his hands shaped just right to cradle, how to fit it inside of him, how to keep it from leaving him.

tagging @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @canonbibuck @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @goforkinard @devirnis @bvckandeddie @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @911onabc @buckstommy @rewritetheending @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @lemonzestywrites @transboybuckley @messyhairdiaz @bibuddie @traumabuddies and anyone else who wants to share!

[jamiesfootball]

🌹🌹🌹 please tear through them like chips. We will send more!

You are so freaking nice to me. Here's a snippet from the the 5+1 jamie falling asleep pavlovian fic:

Then from the front of the bus, in a voice that wasn’t trying to be quiet, Jan Maas said, "Well this is awkward."

The blood rushed to his face, humiliation settling thick in his throat as his eyes prickled. Beside him he felt Roy stiffen like a brick, a sensation so clear that Jamie didn't need check to see the expression of murder on his face.

"Jan," Isaac snapped, his voice booming and captain-ly. "What the fuck?"

"What are we supposed to do, pretend otherwise? That was shit." Louder, he added, "That was shit, Jamie!"

"Oh my God,” said Moe. Jamie couldn't agree more.

"Read the room, man," Cockburn added, sounding hoarse for some reason.

“I’m going to kill him,” Roy hissed under his breath, and even though Jamie knew, he knew it couldn't possibly be aimed at him this time--he hadn't done anything, he'd barely fought back--the words set something scrambling in his chest, making him flinch hard against the window like a wounded animal trying to break free.

There was a shuffling from the seat in front of him. A soft voice asked, "Amigo?"

[housewifebuck]

one thing i love in fics (and wish we get in canon!!) is phone calls. like soft domestic phone calls before bed. like eddie and chris are in texas and they call buck to say goodnight. like chris has a nightmare and wants to talk to buck so they video call him and he’s just rambling about his day or showing them things around the fire station. once chris falls asleep again buck and eddie just talk for a bit with hushed and soft voices just talking about nothing and then wishing the other sleeps well. like hanging up and just smiling at the phone for a minute. SOFT!!!!!

THISBIS SO EVERYTHING TO MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[arek-ian]

“When Spring Comes”

Chapter 1 "Ask Yourself for me":

Big eyes were observing him, hovering above, maybe beside him, could be anywhere! he feels them everywhere piercing through his scalp, yet Juwoon will never turn to look; he couldn’t, and he couldn’t tell where is he exactly, although he had been here before, certainly had been here; It was a familiar road, vast reed fields on both sides, but his brain couldn't name it; 'it doesn't matter where you are', his brain told him that, as well it told him to run, why? Where? , all of those matter-of-facts seemed to be useless useless here, where all the facts and emotions were unapproachable.

and he did, despite himself, he widened his steps, rushing toward the unknown before him, though all of his madden running couldn’t suppress his curiosity, he wanted to turn and look straight at those eyes, at what he had to escape from, what he was afraid of.

instantly there was a call in his ears, clear and small, like a buzz: ' Don’t stop, it will end you, consume you, don’t dawdle', the idea of being 'consumed' seems horrifying, it flashed in his mind bangs on his scalp, stretching down to his eyes, His vision blurred, eyes watering though no tears came down. He wouldn't cry, but he wants to rub them hard, washing away the tears, yet his hands didn’t move, no matter how he tried, neither did his throat when he wanted to scream out, 'help', the word taste bitter on his tongue;' Han Juwoon can't ask for help', not now, not before.

For now, only his feet are acting, irrationally, clumsily, the more he jogs forward, the heavier his chest became, and his lungs are burned from the lack of air. that was when he saw a human figure standing distantly before him with their back facing him, Juwoon kept running hoping that the stranger before him will notice his existence.

the human stayed still and Juwoon started calling helplessly from afar, he heard no voice coming out of his dried throat. Suddenly, the road before him transformed into a narrow path, the place was so dark and cold, perhaps it was the corridor in his old house straight ahead to his mother's room, he didn’t know, didn’t remember. Wherever he was, he wanted to be out instantly before he was completely out of breath.

' I won't make it out this time', the idea repeatedly waved in his mind, terrifying him, but -he seems to realize at least he would stop running madly to nowhere, stop being afraid,

' let it be, let go' he thought, the idea was bittersweet, surrender sounded oddly comforting to him, faintly there was a heard sound … no, a voice

"breathe in" a familiar voice; he felt his heartbeats fastening in response to it "juwoon-ah, breathe"

'how to?' he wanted to ask, the voice coming as if responding to the unspoken question

"slowly… breathe"

he's trying, surprisingly, he could The soothing voice became clearer, and the world around him changed to another, a familiar warmer place, an even warmer hand tightly holding his, the other hand stroking gently his chest, hurriedly, he inhaled, the sudden big amount of air entering his lungs choked him, causing him to cough harshly.

" you only need to breathe slowly, breathe from your nose, let the air out of your mouth. don’t rush", " juwoon-ah you can do this, it's alright"

The instruction came to lead him, Obediently, he inhaled slowly, while his unfocused eyes searched for the other's face, finally, he spotted it, it's right before him, soft known eyes staring at him worriedly, he surely knew now, that it was Dongsik's.

A sigh of relief escaped from the man's lips as he tightly gripped his shoulder Juwoon did his best to regulate his breathing, forcing his eyes shut, A small tear escaped, but Dongsik's hand caught it before it could run down his cheek.

" It's alright Juwoon-ah, you're here, you can breathe now"

He said, still holding him in a tight embrace. Juwoon inhaled deeply, taking in Dongsik's scent of mint. He cuddled him back, burying his head into the other man's chest.

'Inhale, exhale, simply one after another, that’s breathing'

He told himself repeatedly, forcing all of his sense and emotions to solely on the rhythm, One hand stroking his back while the other gently ran through his hair, involuntarily touching his numb scalp back and forth, he felt fragile and small in dongsik's arms, ashamed of his weakness, Though he rarely needed someone's help during his nightmares, even those rare times he handled it all alone He knew Dongsik worried about him, willing to give up entire nights to stay beside him, yet he hated disturbing his sleep, worrying him, scaring the hell out of him, he hated this all, and himself.

Juwoon wake up slowly to the ray of sunlight making its way through the curtains spreading across the bedsheets, his mouth let a yawn He noticed the empty and cold bed beside him. It took him moments to process his thoughts, then flinched when he recalled the events of the previous night,' I kept him awake all the night, again' finally he sighs heavily, He shuffled his hair back as he walked straight to the kitchen, where Dongsik must be.

Here he was, absentmindedly staring at the garden outside the small window, where the heavy rain had washed the world over and over the whole night, his gaze not particularly focused on anything, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, slowly burning in his hand, juwoon give himself a peaceful moment to observe the quiet man before him, 'what are you thinking of, dongsik?' he thought.

startled dongsik turned his face when juwoon took the cigarette from his before it could burn his fingers, then tossed it in the sink.

" where are you? your hand almost got burn" Juwoon muttered.

"uh … good morning" dongsik greets him, with a smile " how are you now? feeling any better?"

" good morning -. despite the headache, everything is fine"

juwoon is so familiar with the headache, the pain has been lingering in his brain for years, he was quite used to it by now, accepting the pain as a part of his daily routine. Thus, mentioning it now only meant he wasn’t fine.

dongsik tilted his head, eyes narrowing observing him carefully for minute, as if his eyes could see through him. Finally, he nodded, "mn, I see"

"go wash up, I'll make something for breakfast"

he said, walking towards the refrigerator and rolling up his sleeves, juwoon didn’t move or respond, dongsik throw him a questioning look " what? Don’t just stare at me go wash up" he urged "Ah, don’t worry I not making noodles" surely he didn’t want noodles at breakfast, that was far from what he was thinking of ,' your eyelids, did you cry?' he wanted to ask the older man, but he didn’t, instead he silently made his way to the bathroom.

By the time he finished showering the table had already been set, He entered the dining room, toweling his wet

Hair. Dongsik was sitting at the small table, waiting. beside him, beside him lay the omelet and the stewed vegetables, along with some side dishes—a mix of Korean and English cuisine Two months before, Dongsik would make fun of this, telling Juwoon that he was a picky prince. Now, look, he was willingly, to the best of his ability, making the food the picky prince liked. He was at a loss with this change, but it was a welcomed one.

"found enough hot water?" dongsik asked

"mn, did you fix the boiler?"

"not really! you know, I'm not good at fixing stuff. This is temporary, it's too old to be fixed, we should just replace it"

'are you even talking about the damn boiler?' juwoon thought. Maybe this morning had already gone awry. he ignored the provoking expression on Dongsik's face, 'I'm not going to play this game today'

Instead, he asked " I'm making coffee, want some?"

"sure" came the simple reply.

He strolled to the kitchen, a towel covering his still damp hair, focusing at the task in his hand, but he knows: , 'he is staring' dongsik's eyes are following him, the silence between them is carrying a heavy weight on his heart, this is unusual type of silence, though the air is warm inside the old house, that’s not really what he felt inside.

Dongsik was the one who broke the tense silence.

"by the way, there are a spare boiler in the lake house, we go pick it, maybe stay the day there, how does that sound?" he offered. it's not bad, but Juwoon is so exhausted. He didn’t like the idea of driving, nor did he want to be driven.

" how long can the boiler work?" he asked, and dongsik already consider it as 'no'.

"hm, not much, less than week, unless you wanted to wash the whole home in one go" he teases.

"not this time. then, can we leave it to the weekend? I'll drive you there".

" that'll do" he nodded

The silence fell again.

" han juwoon" dongsik called him after while

this voice tone, he can predict what was coming right after this.

"yes"

"what happened again?"

"what do you mean?"

He expected this, Dongsik let out a sigh, then began

"your nightmares, why did it hit a low point again?"

" ah, it's nothing, you don’t have to worry about" avoiding the point.

"I worry. It doesn't seem like nothing"

"wasn't it as usual?"

"cut that off, usual? Tsk, only because you cried out Loud enough to wake me up at the time, or else you would suffocate to dea..-ehm"

Clearing his throat, he couldn’t utter the last word, it's bitter, he can't spit it out. Juwoon seemd to not remember he had shouted, did he? The last he remembered is calling out to the unknown figure, but his voice failed him then.

Juwoon placed the two hot coffee mugs at the table, grab the nearest chair to sit in.

" I'm sorry" that all he could came up with, Dongsik's face darkened, his brows knotted together, he obviously didn’t like what Juwoon said.

" what is the apology for?"

" troubling you last nigh-"

Dongsik interrupt him again, " 'troubling', are we already reaching this point again?"

"it's not like I want t-"

" ' not like I want to offend you', wasn’t that what you were going to say?" Dongsik couldn’t hide the irritation in his voice. ' here we are again' Juwoon didn’t want to offend him, he is honest with these words, but did it matter now? No, because the man was already offended

The food between them went cold, along with the air in juwoon's lungs.

"Juwwon-ah, am I the reason?" his head bowed.

"what? No, why would it be you?"

"you tell me then "

No respond came, Juwoon held the mug in his hand, his palm is deep red, the heat is burning his hands, slowly.

"you're lying, I thought we had passed those periods"

"didn’t we? and I'm not lying" he insisted.

"then you're hiding away"

That, ah, he couldn’t deny this time, couldn’t lie, and it appears to worsen the situation; Dongsik stand up to stroll around, 'he is avoiding me' this is his usual way of avoiding being seen.

" you're hiding"

'so you do, Dongsik'

"From what? Me?" he snorted " you never hide from me, not even when the truth behind your father came. the only time you did, was the time I got prisoned, am I right?"

each word felt like heavy stone being thrown at Juwoon. Perhaps it wasn't the words themselves, but rather the tone carrying them out—wistfulness, disappointment seeping out of his voice.

He continues "And it was out of feeling guilty. Juwoon-ah, are you feeling guilty towards me now? Because I won't accept this"

Juwon avert his gaze, put down the cup, his hands are numb from the heat.

Dongsik stepped away, now leaning at the wall, arms crossed front of his chest, head heavily bowed, Juwoon couldn't bear to see him like that, and wasn’t he the one who caused it all?

"it's all because of me, this has nothing to do with you, I'm sorry" Juwoon earnestly said. Still, it didn't work; rather, it seemed to work in a completely different way. With shaking shoulders, Dongsik chuckled loudly, like his old self.

" Han Juwoon. I don’t want you pity"

'pity' the words cut accurately through his chest, rendering him out of breath.

"Let me guess what's next, 'lee Dongsik, I shouldn't cross your side again this would do us both better' or 'im the problem here' it could be 'I hurt you, how can you let it go', right?" he mimicked Juwoon.

"Don’t say this, those aren't funny"

"I know" the reply came quickly, with no hint of sarcasm in his voice.

'it hurts' the dull ach in his heart, the way Dongsik looked him in the eyes, broken, he hurt the only person he wanted to save with his soul, the person he once promised that he will go to hell for him. However, the next moment he arrests him, a year before he told him 'I can't let you ruin yourself, not anymore' however he only ended up ruining him, again. 'just like your father', -the thought flashed in his head, his headache hit harder this time- is there any way for him to stop hurting the people who cared about him, ' like my father did' ?

Again, dongsik voice is here; to bull him away from his thoughts "fine!" he said while he walked back to the table, where juwoon seems as if he had grown roots in his seat

"fine, let's say you're feeling guilty towards me, for the sake of the past or whatever bullshit you like "

' I didn’t say this' , ' it's not what I meant' he wanted to protest, the words already lying at the tip of his tongue, but Dongsik indicate to shush him, He was too afraid to hear what was coming next from the man.

" you think this idea hadn’t cross my mind before?"

He huffed a light laugh

"it did nag at me many times" he admitted in bitterness.

Juwoon stares at him, eyes opened wide.

" yes, sometimes I tell myself that: I'm holding you back from your life, because your feeling guilty to me. Else, why would a young man with a promising future stick himself in the mud beside a lunatic like me?"

"promising future" Juwoon echoes, he couldn’t suppress a laugh, dongsik ignored it and continued.

" Other times I tell myself that I should let go of you for my own good. It's cruel and selfish, but eventually, I couldn’t. The same as before, when I couldn't even bring myself to hate you, let alone blame you " He tapped to his chest.

"here; I hold nothing against you"

'here I only hold you' he didn’t say it.

" you told me this before" juwoon forced the words out.

"good thing you remember" he paused. " however, when I was at lose of what to do, the idea of letting go will hit again, thus, I asked myself, 'will you be fine if he goes?' " he scoffed to himself.

"God, how ridiculous this is! -no, the answer is: no, I won't be fine" His tone change, no longer playful

Juwoon was quite stunned. In other circumstances, Dongsik would laugh at this reaction of his, but now he didn't.

He let a sigh, shaking his head, "I figured this will be the answer already, but I went through it all to become clear to myself "

Juwoon dropped his head even lower, hiding from his eyes. A water droplet rolled from his damp hair down to his cheek, dongsik reached out his hand, casually brushing it away but he retreated back. ' this shouldn’t be hurting' yet it did hurt, and he couldn’t name the reason why. It's not like they were this intimate, this made no sense.

"You, you really think I stay out of feeling pity for you?" he managed to say finally.

"oh, correct me then, what you call this?" he gestured

between them.

'how came someone as smart as you can't tell what is this?'

He didn’t ask, after he realized, 'can I name it then?'

'I care about you' is it care?

Dongsik, not fully aware of his internal struggle, said,

" until you want to name this, bare this in your mind, I don’t want you pity, I don’t need any of your guilt. No excuses are acceptable since I made it clear before. If for any reason else, then you made it clear first to me, because each time I slightly bush you away, you came back with redoubled steps, and more glistening eyes, and I could only reach out to you", his voice gradually getting lower, softening, "juwoon-ah… what do you want? what can this man do for you?"

'This man has done enough for me' he only replied to the first question. "I don’t know."

"but You should, right? - ' will you be fine away from here'? ask yourself for me, will you?"

'here' is where exactly? Manyang? This old house? or This kitchen? The small space between them? or His warm comforting embrace? dongsik is in all of those places, he is nowhere else, so it's ' away from me'.

" I won't be selfish, I won't disturb your life and hold you back ", Is it selfish to hold the person you like beside you? Maybe. 'Then be selfish, Dongsik.' After a brief moment of silence, Juwoon's ringtone broke the silence, saving him from what he should say. He glanced at the ID caller; they were calling from work.

"yes… Ms. Park? What happened? Where is she now? is she fine?" his face expression shifted immediately.

Dongsik looked at him questioningly, and Juwoon looked back at him " yes, I understand, I'll be right there". The call ended, Dongsik asked "Mr. Park? Isn’t this Your partner?"

" yes, they said she had an accident this morning in her way to the station, I should go take her work"

Originally, today and tomorrow are his days off, but now he had to go back and take his partner's place at work.

Dongsik give him an affirmative nod " you should go then" he said after a pause "after eating up" he indicated.

"no, I'm going to be late, coffee was enough"

"Ya! this house has roles 'no skipping meal, you go change I'll reheat it for you" he urged him. Juwoon didn’t say much.

there are so many roles, apparently most of the roles are juwwon's; don't walk barefoot, no smoke before bed time, no smoking at all, no noodles for breakfast, knock on the bathroom door before entering, don’t throw the used towel at the bed ... along serious of don’t this don’t that, dongsik didn’t complain much, nor did he care too much. For him 'eat well, sleep well. and stay on the left side of the bed' were his only contributions to the household rules.

With no appetite, Juwoon only ate a few bites of his omelet, then quickly rushed towards the door. Dongsik lingered behind him, going through his third cigarette. He wasn’t too much into smoking, perhaps he thought with his mouth occupied by the small burning stick, he wouldn't have to say anything else until Juwoon left. But Juwon didn’t let him; right before stepping out, he hesitantly turned back to him.

" Dongsik-si, this isn’t good for you"

"what, smoking? It won't kill me"

" surely smoking isn't healthy, but that’s not what I mean" Juwoon said as bringing two fingers to dongsik's face, gently brushing between his eyebrows, wiping away the frown. " The frowning face, don’t be upset" he said, as Dongsik smirked "why? I'm no longer handsome?"

Juwoon couldn't ever get how pliantly his mood changes. Before, this used to bother him the most. Dongsik seems to not care about what happens around, but now he knows it’s a pretense. He could only envy his ability to act as if nothing mattered at all.

"No, I didn’t say you're not h-"

patting his shoulder, Dongsik interrupted himHe didn’t want to hear these words now " yeah, yeah, get it, now go, you will be late"

" I will be back, with an answer", he finally said

Dongsik hummed with a nod " drive safely"

Juwoon observed him for a moment, then made his way out.

[queermentaldisaster]

*grabby hands* gimme gimme gimmie your 5+1

Okay! So it is this fic, which is literally the result of me and Chips's combined brainrot, lmao. This one recently took kind of a backseat, but, since I don't have much for chapter four written, here is the summary for four and five chapters. (We're leaving six a secret 🤭)