#5 seconds of skz-series
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lost in reality | han jisung
☆ part 5/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆
words: 1.70k // warnings: college boy!jisung, basketball player!jisung, rivals to more, sunwoo makes an appearance, angst, suggestive
he had you pinned against a locker, a world of emotions you couldn’t understand swirling in his dark eyes. you couldn’t believe after all these years, han jisung was in the same sticky situation as you.
“i can’t escape you anywhere, even in my dreams. what have you fucking done to me, y/n l/n?”
from the moment you met han jisung, you hated him. you weren’t 100% sure why, but if his his arrogant nature and cocky attitude wasn’t enough to finalize your decision, the way he broke your best friend’s heart was. he was a prick, and you weren’t about to sit back and let him be the student tyrant of the college, running around using people to make himself look better and breaking the hearts of every woman he laid eyes on. he needed knocking off his pedestal, and you were happy to be the one to do it.
he, on the other hand, thought you were pretty. he still did, he wasn’t blind, but he thought you seemed nice at first. he truly wanted to get along with you, to reach out and form a friendship, but it backfired on him big time. for some reason, the second he approached you, you had looked at him in disgust. like he was a monster. like he had personally offended you. you shut down his words quicker than he started talking, and told him if he ever spoke to you again, you’d punch him. it confused him, and he quickly assumed you were just a bitch.
but, oh god, to make it worse, the pair of you ended up pitted against each other at every academic opportunity there was. your test scores meant you were the highest student at the college? jisung’s matched yours. jisung wanted to be student president, and spent 6 weeks planning the perfect campaign? well, so did you, and he would certainly have a fight on his hands. even down to auditioning for the winter musical, or planning field trips for your respective societies. it was exhausting, and only fuelled your hatred for each other.
so when you approached him at a party, telling him with nothing but seriousness in your eyes, that you wanted him to fuck you silly, he was slightly surprised. he wasn’t expecting it at all, but he would be a fool if he didn’t accept - so he did. thats how your arrangement began. when you woke in his bed the next morning, his soft cock still inside of you, at first you were horrified. but then you realized just how satisfying it was, and proposed to jisung that you come to each other for stress relief when you needed it.
the rules were simple: neither of you stayed after you fucked, you were both free to see other people, and no one was to know about your arrangement. simple, right?
and it was going fine. finals season meant the pair of you fucking like rabbits. just like basketball season for jisung, and theater show season for you. it worked, and you were satisfied. sure, you were fucking other guys here and there, just like you were sure jisung was fucking other girls, but it was relieving to be fucking a guy who could actually make you cum.
but the problem was his attitude towards you outside of the bedroom. sure, you both agreed that no one was to know, and if you both became best friends overnight people would be suspicious. but somehow his behavior towards you had got… worse. he ignored you in public, even if you were alone. around people - god, he basically treated you like you were shit on the bottom of his shoe. it was confusing, and overwhelming, and slowly you felt yourself distancing yourself from him.
not responding to his advances when he asked you to come over, disregarding his existence when you saw him around campus. surely, no matter what distaste you two held towards each other, he didn’t really see you the way he acted? you’d even overheard him shitalking you to his friends in the asb classroom before your allocated student council meeting. you’d turned straight around that day, opting to go to the nurse’s office and feign sickness than face him after what you’d heard him saying.
“(y/n)? nah, she’s too far up her own ass. i wouldn’t even go there for a quick fuck.”
“have you seen her, man? she acts like she’s better than everyone else. she’s such an entitled bitch, it makes me sick.”
“she’s not even hot. no, for real. i’ve seen dogs better looking than her.”
tears brimmed in your eyes as the nurse dismissed you and allowed you to go back to your dorm for the remainder of the academic day. you made him sick, huh? not pretty enough, too entitled? how was this the same jisung that you had begging to let him cum inside of you just two nights prior? the same jisung that told you you were the prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on? or was that all just words so he could keep getting in your pants? maybe you were an easy lay. maybe thats all you meant to him.
so, you stood your ground. you no longer hooked up with him, didn’t even interact with him. as far as you were concerned, he no longer existed. you didn’t need his dick inside you, and you certainly didn’t need his presence in your life. instead, you fueled your rage into beating him at his own game - studying harder, pushing further, leaving him shaking in the dust of the pace you were hitting grade targets at.
in all honesty, you didn’t even see him properly again until a frat party almost a month later. your friends had dragged you along, claiming that you needed to let loose instead of holding yourself up in your room all the time. you tried to protest as much as possible, until one of them let slip that sunwoo would be there. sunwoo was known as the campus fuck boy - only interested in hookups or one night stands, and someone who infuriated jisung to no end. you didn’t know, or want to know, what their beef was, but you knew he would be the perfect way to get under jisung’s skin. sunwoo tried to flirt with you a lot, anyway, so it should have been a walk in the park.
and at first it was. you found the boy in question very easily, offering him a drink and reciprocating his flirting easily. you danced with him, swaying your hips against him in an almost hypnotizing way. you caught eyes with jisung across the room from where he was standing with a few of his friends - the one present during his previous bitchfest about you - and look away as if you hadn’t even seen him. in all honesty, you didn’t know why you cared so much. you just knew you wouldn’t let him get away with talking shit about you that easily.
sunwoo was quick to drag you off the dance floor and back into the kitchen, offering to make you a drink while you hopped up on the side, your short skirt fluttering as you did. you graciously accepted, needing as much alcohol as you could get considering how packed the frat house was. it was then that jisung walked into the kitchen, just as sunwoo put his hands on your bare thighs and asked if he could kiss you. you didn’t even think before you nodded, pulling him between your legs by his shirt and slotting your lips together messily.
you heard jisung scoff from behind sunwoo, before the tell-tale sloshing of alcohol that told you he was making a drink. almost as soon as the kiss started, sunwoo pulled away, peppering kisses across your neck as he grasped your hips tightly.
“come back to mine, yeah? we should get out of here, do something fun.”
at that jisung scoffed again, louder this time, causing you and sunwoo both to look over at him - sunwoo confused, you pissed off.
“she can’t, actually. we have an asb meeting at 7 tomorrow, and they want us - the student council presidents - to go now and set up the meeting room.”
“really?” sunwoo asked, looking back at you with furrowed brows. “at 11 at night? damn, well maybe next time, yeah, pretty girl?”
with that he stepped back, a final pat on your thighs as he waved to jisung and left the kitchen. you, on the other hand, were furious. you didn’t even hesitate before you hopped off of the counter and dragged jisung out of the back door by his shirt collar. luckily for you, the garden was empty.
“what the actual fuck is wrong with you, han?” you cried, anger filling your words. “what, if you can’t have me, no one else can? you’re sick.”
he seemed confused by your outburst, and maybe a little embarrassed that you were calling him out on his lie to sunwoo. but nonetheless, he persisted.
“any reason you’ve been completely blanking me, huh? or are you that much of a slut that you’ll hop onto any man available.”
he looked so cocky and proud of himself that you had to wipe the expression off of his face any way you could. deep down, he was hoping you’d take the bait and kiss him so you could both fuck your anger out on each other, so he was flabbergasted when your hand made contact with his cheek. you’d slapped him. and you were on the verge of tears. he was even more confused now, not knowing how to approach the situation now.
“fuck you, han jisung. i heard everything you said about me to your little friends in the asb room. if i make you so sick - you know, being so entitled and so far up my own ass - why are you so set on me not fucking anyone else now i’m not talking to you.”
he seemed shocked by your words, but you didn’t let him respond before you continued.
“i’m stepping down from the student council. i’m not doing it if i have to deal with you,” you spat the words out, making him flinch slightly. “get fucked, jisung. i hope you're proud of yourself. finally top student now, huh?”
and with that you stormed away, leaving him alone in the garden to contemplate his actions, and release he may have lost one of the best things he ever had.
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All Bark and No Bite 08
Another early chapter to celebrate my birthday 🥳 i am now a 25 year old child 👧 please enjoy and let me know what you think 💕
Masterlist
Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
Previous - Next
Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!)
Chapter Warnings: Smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, Hard dom! Chan, suggestive, kissing, dirty thoughts, cursing, fluff, mild dissociation, traditional gender roles, crying (as usual)
WC: 4.1k
MDNI 18+
Hyunjin could, in fact, carry you up two flights of stairs. Now you know better than to doubt his physical prowess. It seemed almost effortless to him to make the trek up with you on his back. The whole time he had you hoisted up you were able to see the muscles in his arms rippling.
It honestly made you see him in a different light. You had thought he was an attractive man- of course you did- but knowing how strong he was… It made you want to ravish him. See what other muscles he has hidden from you.
Good thing you were behind him or he would be able to see the gears turning in your mind and the flush in your cheeks.
He took you right to the closed door of your room. It was concealing whatever your ‘surprise’ was. Hyunjin gently set you down on your shaky legs, grabbing your hand once your feet touched the floor. He lifted your hand up to his mouth, placing a kiss to your palm, then leaning in close as if he was going to kiss you. Your heart was thumping out of your chest, anticipating his next move. Instead he only kissed your cheek and whispered smugly, “Don't ever doubt me again, Baby.”
You had a look of ‘wtf’ on your face but he just ignored it, choosing to turn on his heels and head back down the steps.
Before he went down he turned to you one last time.
“Oh, the surprise is from Min.” With that he gave you a wink and descended the steps.
From Minho? That felt slightly odd to you. You had gotten a feeling the beta didn’t care for you much, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe it just took him a minute to warm up to someone. Either way you weren't going to dwell on it, he had gotten you a surprise after all.
Opening the door to your room you saw many bags sitting on your bed. Not just any bags, they were bags from Euns shop! Walking into your room and closer to the bags you noticed that there were many more than the 5 bags you had before your.. Mishap. There now appeared to be at least 10 bags.
‘Did Minho get me more clothes?’ You wondered, suddenly overcome with gratitude. While you loved wearing your alphas clothes it would be nice to have some of your own, especially after Chan had literally destroyed your original outfit. You looked through the items left for you, and half of them you definitely didn't pick, but you loved each thing he had grabbed for you. You had been so worried when you were shopping that you would spend too much money, that you didn’t get all the things you had wanted. Looks like Minho paid you great attention though because he had picked things you had desperately wanted. So many pretty dresses and sets. And lingerie?
Looking at the matching bra and panty sets you just knew there was a dark red blush on your cheeks. What was new though. There were also a few strappy numbers you would usually be way too shy to buy for yourself. It made you remember that you were expected to be shared amongst the pack.
‘Did Minho want to see me in these racy outfits?’ You might actually have a heart attack at the thought.
After looking through each bag you sped yourself down the stairs to find Minho. You went down to the second floor where you remembered his room being, finding the door open and him not there.
You did take a moment to peer inside, though. His room was decorated in deep purples, and had a thick shag rug that almost surrounded the entire room. The space felt very mature and had a lingering scent of the beta.
Your eyes were starting to close at the intense smell of him, a musky spice that was almost intoxicating. You snapped yourself out of it before you fell too deep into a subspace. No time for that you were on a mission! Next stop was the kitchen.
You barreled down the next flight of steps, almost tumbling a few times due to your still weak legs, and onto the main floor. You could hear a few soft voices coming from the living room but none sounded like the man you were after. There was a smell of something cooking coming from the kitchen, and when you stepped into the large room there was Minho. He was there stirring some vegetables on the stove.
He seemed to have heard you enter but before he could greet you, you launched yourself at him pulling him into a hug and smothering your face against his shirt. He seemed stunned for a moment- putting his hands in the air like he was afraid to touch you. It took him a second before he felt himself relax in your hold.
“Fank you fo the clofes” Your words were almost incoherent against him but he managed to understand. With one hand he patted your head while the other leaned past you and continued stirring the food he was preparing.
“You needed them. It’s no big deal.” He responded evenly, as if his heart wasn’t beating wildly.
You pulled back from him with those signature tears “No big deal? Of course it is! You went out of your way for me! And got me even more! I am so grateful to you Minho! I don’t know how to thank you for your kindness.”
He gave you a small smirk, “You know how you can thank me?” You looked at him with hopeful eyes, shaking your head no.
“Wipe those pretty tears off your face.” He responded with a small pat to your cheek before turning his attention back to the food.
You sniffled one more time before nodding and using your palms to wipe your face. It was then that your omega brain noticed he was cooking. That was your job!
“What are you doing?” You demanded. “I’m supposed to be cooking for you!” You then tried to shove him out of the way but he wasn’t budging. He was surprisingly sturdy. All he did was laugh in response.
Your lips curled into a pout and you crossed your arms angrily, giving him your best evil eye. It did not phase him at all, instead he just laughed again shaking his head and continuing to cook. You wouldn’t give in though! If the glare wouldn’t work you would try being sweet.
Unfolding your arms you clasped your hands out in front of you and gave him your best puppy dog pout.
“Please Min.” You stepped closer to him and rested your head against his shoulder. “It makes me feel useless if I can’t provide something for you guys.”
Minho felt himself tense up when you touched him again. For some reason your touch was making him nervous. That is until he registered your words.He turned to you with a sternness on his face.
“Don’t say that.” His voice was borderline harsh. You looked up at him shocked when you heard it. He continued a little softer after seeing your expression, “ You’re not useless, you provide enough”
‘Or you're going to start soon enough.’ He thought to himself.
“I like cooking, it's calming to me. If you really want we can split it up and I’ll let you make breakfasts and the occasional dinner.”
Your eyes shined at the prospect of being allowed to contribute, nodding your head rapidly. You would take anything you could get. “Yes! Thank you Minho!” You hugged him again quickly before skipping out of the kitchen, happy with the agreement.
The beta called out after you “Tell everyone 5 minutes til’ dinner!”
“You got it!”
Wandering back into the living room Felix and Jisung were still lazily strewn on the loveseat but now Changbin and Jeongin were also in there, the group playing Mario kart on the switch that was hooked up to the tv. You stood in the entryway for a moment watching them play.
It brought back memories of you playing games with your siblings, back when things were simpler. It felt like they were, anyway. You had a pretty normal childhood all things considered. You had a good relationship with your siblings, you had friends, you were doing well in school- fuck, you were even planning on going to college to become a zoologist. You were happy.
That all changed for you the second you turned 16, when you presented as an omega and had to forget about ever having a normal life.
You must have been stuck pretty far in your own mind because you didn’t hear Changbin calling your name until he touched your arm in concern.
“Huh?” You asked as you snapped out of it.
The alpha had a look of worry etched on his face, “You’ve been standing there in a daze for a few minutes, Baby. Are you ok?” His rough hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into it comfortingly.
You nodded, “Mmhmm. Sorry, just thinking.” Then you looked past him at everyone in the room, “Minho said dinner was about done.” As you said Changbins stomach let out a loud gurgle, causing the other boys present to burst into chuckles.
Changbin released your face with a wide grin, “Why didn’t you say so!” Then he cupped his hands over his mouth to project into the entire house.
“DINNER TIME EVERYONE!”
You giggled at his antics and everyone made their way into the dining room to enjoy a meal together.
---------------------------------------------
Dinner was a quieter affair, it seems like everyone was still mellowed out since the joint nap you all took, the tiredness still present. That's not to say it wasn't full of jokes, that will never stop. By the time you had all eaten and cleaned up it was now quite dark outside, the light completely disappearing behind the mountains.
Even though you slept away most of the day you could still feel the drowsiness behind your eyes. You were sitting in Chan's lap with your head resting against his chest while he joked with the other guys, the tv on in the background but no one was paying any attention to it.
Your alpha had his hand on your thigh, rubbing slow circles into your warm skin. He could sense you slipping away every now and again, and had decided it was time to take you to bed. You had a big day tomorrow, anyways.
“Are you ready for bed, omega?” He whispered against your hair, placing a kiss there.
You gave him a slow nod, “Mmhmm.” He scooped you up into his arms and stood from where you were both seated on the recliner.
“Say goodnight to the boys, baby.”
You lightly lifted your hand and gave them a wave, “Goodnight boys.”
“Goodnight, Baby!” They chorused, with Jisung adding in a little “I’ll miss you!” there at the end.
The tired giggle you let out almost made their hearts stop beating. It was so cute. “Miss you too Ji.”
Chan carried you up the stairs and into his room where he set you gently in his bed. You immediately nuzzled yourself into his comforter. He spoke softly to you, “Before you fall asleep there's something we have to talk about, Baby.”
There was a sudden inkling of anxiety in your stomach. Have you done something wrong? Were you being too much? What if he- You were brought out of your thoughts by Chan placing a chaste kiss on your mouth.
“I can almost see your brain running a million miles an hour, nothing is wrong Omega.” You felt yourself relax at his reassurance. “I was actually going to check in with you, about how you are feeling about the pack. And about what we had discussed a few days ago.” His hands were back on your thighs, the heat of his strong hands igniting something inside of you. “The other boys are quite fond of you, you know that baby?” He was staring deep into your eyes, smirking as if he could see how his hands were making you feel.
“I-I like them too.” You stuttered. you kept your answer vague, scared if you revealed how they make you truly feel it would upset the Alpha.
He hummed, his hands hiking up even higher-inching closer and closer to your core. He paused his movements, “ How much do you like them, my love? Do you like them enough to let them touch you like this?”
You were apprehensive to answer him, so he pressed further. “You know, if you're worried I’d be mad or jealous, that’s not something you have to be concerned about. In fact, I would prefer it if you wanted them like they want you.” He smirked at the hitch in your breath.
“And how do they want me, Alpha?” The words were almost a whisper as they left you, your tone breathy.
Chan let out a purr, “ They want you in all the ways I do.” His hands inched up ever closer but still not reaching. He leaned in close, his mouth almost on yours.
“Will you let them have you? Will you be a good omega and please your pack?”
The hesitancy was gone from you as you rapidly nodded at his questions, desperate for him.
“Yes Alpha. They can have all of me. Whatever they want I will give to them.”
“Good girl.” He praised, slotting his mouth over yours and finally letting his fingers find your core. The rough pads of his fingertips lightly rubbed over your (his) underwear, feeling the accumulating wetness that was making a dark spot. You let out a stuttering moan at his touch, hips instinctually raising to meet the touch.
He hummed, grinning devilishly “ Does my sweet omega like that?” He pressed harder against your pussy, pushing the fabric between your folds.
Nodding quickly you responded “Yes Alpha.”
Chan then placed his lips back on yours, his hand pulling away and finding the band of the underwear. He hooked his thumbs under each side and slowly dragged the garment down your thighs, his tongue running along the inside of your lips begging for entrance. You gave it to him gladly.
Once he had completely pulled the boxers from you he pulled his lips back slightly, still touching but not kissing. “You’re still too sore to take me, but I just have to reward my baby for being such a good girl.” His lips starting trailing wet kisses down your throat and continuing down your stomach where he lifted his shirt to reveal your breasts to him.
You were squirming in at his touch, eager to feel his mouth on you where you needed him most.
The alpha settled himself between your legs, spreading your thighs to make room for him. You were absolutely leaking. The crystalline liquid drips out of you causing the room to fill with the scent of you.
“Who made you like this, Baby?” He asked in between sloppy kisses to your thighs.
“Yo-you did, alpha.” You responded, panting in anticipation.
“Hmmm just me?” His eyes found yours, as if challenging your words. “ Are you sure about that?”
You paused, trying to find an answer. “Umm..”
He nipped at your soft thigh skin, leaving a red mark in his wake. “ You can be honest with me, omega. Have you thought about any of the other boys this way? Thought about any of them putting their mouths on your wet little pussy?” His tongue stuck out and he gave your clit a teasing lick.
“Alpha please.” There was no way you could answer that. You were too mortified at the prospect.
He growled at your avoidance “ Answer me, omega. You will get nothing if you don’t tell me what I want to hear. Do you think about them eating you like this?” He gave you another bite on the opposite side.
“Yes!” You couldn’t take it anymore. Morals be damned. “Yes, Alpha I have. m’ sorry!” Hands gripping the sheets below you.
At your honesty Chan licked a long strip starting at your hole up to your clit. The moan you let out was otherworldly, your hands finding his dark hair and yanking on the strands.
You tasted divine. Like the sweetest nectar from the ripest fruits. Chan felt his eyes roll to the back of his head at the taste.
“Please, alpha.” You begged, wanting- needing - to feel him again. At your pleads he dove into you, his tongue shoving its way into you looking for more of your sweetness. His lips found the little bundle of nerves and wrapped around it giving it a harsh suck.
“FUCK!” You bucked your hips, shoving him further into your pussy.
In retaliation he nipped at your clit and let out a deep growl, a glare in his eyes as they found yours. “Stay still or I will stop and leave you here with nothing. Do you understand me?”
You let out a quiet “Mmhmm” and his fingers came up to replace his mouth, rubbing tight circles on you.
“Tell me who you’ve thought about this with, baby?”
Your own hands left his hair and covered your face in embarrassment. “I can’t. It’s too much.”
Chans other hand that wasn't on your core reached up and roughly yanked your hands from your face, him now gripping the underside of your chin to turn your head to face him. Your eyes now locked on his as if he was seeing into your soul looking for answers.
“You will tell me, omega.” He was using an alpha command on you, since you were bonded to him you couldn’t refuse no matter how much you wanted too.
“Jisung.” You cried. “Was t-thinking about it earlier, Alpha.” More slick was leaking out of you at your admittance. This display of dominance shouldn’t turn you on as much as it does.
Chan gave you that predatory grin, pleased with your answer. “Sungie huh? How did
I know it was gonna be him. Good omega.”
He returned his mouth to you, this time with renewed vigor. His finger found its way inside of you, rubbing your walls with the calloused digit while his lips sucked you into the next dimension.
You were squealing and moaning, unable to contain the animalistic sounds that escaped you. The knot in your stomach was starting to form, all you needed was one push and you would be a goner. As if he could sense it, Chan slipped another finger inside of you causing you to topple over the edge.
You came with a long drawn out moan, Chan not letting up for even a second until your convulsions ceased. He wanted to drain you dry and that's what he had done.
Once you stopped shaking and were finally able to catch your breath Chan pulled away from you- his face soaked with your essence. “You taste so good, omega.” His fingers slipped out of you and he lifted them to your mouth. “Go on, taste yourself.” He urged. Your mouth opened wide enough for him to stick the digits in. Your tongue swirled around them, collecting the wetness. He couldn't help himself, he shoved his fingers further down your throat holding them there while you gagged around him. You didn’t fight him though, and just let him do whatever he pleased with you, like the good little doll you were.
Chan pressed a sweet peck to your stomach before removing his fingers from your mouth and crawling up to be face to face with you. When he was at eye level you grabbed him forcefully, connecting your lips with him and tasting more of your juices that lingered on his mouth.
He was the first to pull away after a few seconds, nuzzling your noses together and just breathing each other in.
“You did so good for me, baby. Thank you for being honest with me.” He was running his hands softly along your sides.
“You’re welcome alpha.” You responded quietly. “You’re not mad are you?”
He would have scoffed if you weren't so fragile right now.
“No baby of course not. It makes me happy you want him like that.”
Your shining eyes looked hopeful, “It does?”
“Mmm yes baby. You are theirs just as you are mine. Soon you’ll come to see it that way too.” You nodded at his words, the exhaustion now taking over. “Let's get you tucked in. You have a big day tomorrow. We have a few things to do in town tomorrow.” You nodded once more and let him tuck you in under his blankets. He placed a delicate smooch on your lips then forehead, and you were out like a light.
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Once you were asleep Chan sent a group text for a pack meeting out on the back patio. It was a warm night and he didn’t need you snooping in on this conversation if you were to wake up. He watched you slumber for a moment, taking in your peaceful features. He really did feel so lucky to have you. Everyday you proved yourself to be his dream girl.
He gave it another moment then made his way down the steps and outside where the other members were waiting for him, lounging on the outside furniture.A few of them gave the elder sly smiles, they could all hear exactly what the alpha had just been doing with you. Chan just rolled his eyes and smirked at their looks.
Chan took a seat on the ottoman by the sliding door, “Alright, I was wondering if anyone had any more problems we need to work through.” He scanned everyone's faces, “ I know it hasn’t been the smoothest of sailing the last few days but I think from here on out it will be better for everyone.” There were nods of agreement at his words.
Changbin was the first to speak, “How is she settling in? I hope we haven't been too.. Abrasive.”
Seungmin snorted, “That's rich coming from you.”
The alpha looked at him incredulously, “I am not that bad! Not as bad as your other fellow betas!” and pointed to Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin who all looked at him in disbelief at being called out.
“Hey, that's not fair! We’re a sensitive bunch and she's a sensitive girl! She needs us!” Hyunjin protested, the other two nodding furiously in agreement.
“Yeah she likes our kisses!” Jisung chimed in, then looked to Chan for confirmation. “Right hyung?”
“That’s another reason I wanted to call you all out here. Turns out she’s not as innocent as she lets on. She’s been having quite naughty thoughts about you boys.” Chan's smirk never left his face as he spoke. He watched each one of them have a reaction at his words.
Jeongin sputtered out “Is-is that okay with you Chan?” He was nervous his leader would change his mind and now be mad about it.
“Oh more than ok Innie.” Chan reassured him. “I have a feeling soon enough our little omega is going to be pretty insatiable and to be honest it would be a lot easier for me to have others to help take care of her needs. I mean, fuck, especially during her next heat it will be nice to have some help. My dick is still raw from that little minx.”
There was a collective groan at the prospect. They would have given anything to be there for the first one.
“While we’re talking about it there are a few things i want to discuss. As far as a claiming bite goes, it would be ok with me if you did bite her. Just not on the neck. And no cumming in her until we get her on some non-harmful birth control. I’d like to have time with her before we bring kids into the equation.”
They all nodded in understanding, agreeing with the alpha.
“Has she said who she's thought about, Channie?” Felix questioned with a dark flush on his face.
Chan tosses his head back and forth as if pondering the question, before answering teasingly “I may have gotten one out of her.” The beta looked hopeful. “Buuuuut I think I’ll let you guys figure it out.”
Felix pouted, crossing his arms. Minho was sat next to him and pinched his cheek, cooing at the younger beta.
“Aww lixie don’t pout. You know it's probably you.”
The red in Felixs’ cheeks darkened even more as he smacked Minhos hand away.
“I think it’s me!” Changbin boasted
“Nah, you should have seen her face after I carried her up the stairs earlier. Gotta be me.” Hyunjin said convincingly.
The boys just went back and forth, all trying to figure out who is the first one to catch your attention, not knowing it was literally all of them.
It was pure entertainment for Chan and Minho as they watched the others bicker.
Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!
©doitforbangchan
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🪐˓⠀˚⠀hold on tight⠀@⠀han jisung.
synopsys: it's the birthday of the twins in the group and the usual plan is to celebrate it at the amusement park. everything was going as always until they got to the roller coaster and noa had to sit alone. thankfully, the rules say that everyone who has no one to go with will be paired with other single ones. that was how han jisung ended up screaming and squeezing the hand of an unknown pretty girl who he quickly caught feelings for.
SEE MORE.⠀⠀⠀⠀10 . 5 k words⠀⠀skz mlist.⠀⠀series mlist.
⠀⠀⸺⠀⠀pairing ★ han jisung x f!reader.
⠀⠀⸺⠀⠀about ★ original characters guide.
⠀⠀⸺⠀⠀genres ★ idol au, found family, angst, fluff & smut ; love at first sight, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, not really enemies but end up lovers, friends with benefits to lovers, polyamory. also, boy x boy subplot with original characters.
⠀⠀⸺⠀⠀hold on tight's warnings ★ first chapter! full into the spanishverse! this is the beginning of an amazing adventure, and there are practically no warnings. just jisung's anxiety. it will be his pov, so you know what to expect. mmm, and then fluff. lots of fluff, because he's afraid of heights and noa isn't. also, it's pretty clear ( me thinks ) but everything is in english minus the italics text - that would be spanish or korean depending on who's talking.
⠀⠀⸺⠀⠀author's note ★ hehe, hi lyra, happy ( late ) birthday!! i told you i was going to try and finish this by 14th y por mis cojones que lo intenté akshjaskd. you deserve it. hope you still like it by the end of it, and all the waiting was worth it <3
Everyone knew that the moment Jisung pulled on his hood and picked up his phone, his social battery was below zero. Unfortunately, at the moment he had no hood to hide from the rest of the world, and his anxiety told him that unlocking his phone screen for anything other than taking pictures would make him look terrible. He was wearing a custom-made black Balmain suit that felt soft against his skin, he was surrounded by strangers who were surely more famous than he would ever be, and there were hundreds of cameras pointed at him, waiting for his reaction to every outfit on the catwalk he'd been invited to.
Well, at least he wasn't alone. He had his manager, Jaehyun ーalso known as his older brotherー, sitting right behind him, Felix chatting quietly with another guest three seats to his right, and he knew that their leader was somewhere in all the chaos, also displaying an extroversion that overwhelmed Jisung. He couldn't understand, no matter how many years he had been witnessing it, how the two Australians in his Kpop group could strike up a conversation with anyone outside of them with such ease. And it wasn't even that he envied them for that ability, he just stared at them in horror and prayed that the panic wouldn't show on his face. But he had travelled all the way from Seoul to Madrid just for this, so he had to leave a good impression.
Stray Kids was starting to grow in fame, even if he wasn't really aware of the magnitude, and apart from music, his company wanted to explore other fronts. They were going to shoot a sort of short film by the end of summer, with one of the songs from their second comeback in the year as the soundtrack, and in addition to advertising, they had been considering the world of fashion for some time. The Louis Vuitton brand had snatched up his sunshine twin almost instantly, showering him in French clothes and affection, just as Versace had done with Hyunjin. It seemed that Fendi wanted to see how Bangchan's image would look in their campaigns, and it was rumoured that they wanted to make them international ambassadors.
He was grateful that Balmain had chosen him, of all the idols in the industry, to represent them in this collaborative event between Balenciaga and Zara for the winter campaign. He knew it had been an amazing opportunity for the group, and for him as an artist, but he hadn't been given the option to refuse, and perhaps it was that lack of choice that was making his perspective on the situation so negative. He was almost thirteen hours away from his family, his boyfriend, the rest of his band, in a place he knew nothing about, and every second he allowed himself to think about it, his heart pounded faster against his chest.
‘First time?’ whispered someone to his left, causing him to startle.
Jisung narrowed his eyes, focusing his gaze on the girl he had greeted nervously as he had sat next to her, in the seat assigned to his name. Her locks were slicked back and parted in the middle, all defined lines and gleaming aura, though the rest of her long hair fell down her back in a smooth cascade of chocolate-coloured strands, and her gaze was fixed on him, expectant, as if she couldn't help but let the almond shape of her eyes acquire that sharp edge. He merely nodded, smiling the closest thing to a gentle grin, his curved lips making hers reflect a more enthusiastic copy.
‘Me too!’ her shoulders twitched as he heard her poorly masked giggle, and for a moment he feared that the people around them were going to tell them off because of the easy, melodic way the laughter left her glossy lips. It was evident that she was a girl who caught attention without even being aware of it.
And then he realised that they were both speaking Korean. He frowned, because he knew that most of the people in the audience were Spanish ーand she certainly seemed to be, with her tanned skin and foreign accentー but the level was pretty good. He turned slightly towards her, knowing that they had been photographed together already, and approached her, leaving a respectful distance between them, clearing his throat.
‘Are you from here?’
‘More or less,’ she replied, leaning towards him, as if she were telling him a secret. ‘I'm from Spain, and I live here, but I'm from a town to the south, down at the bottom of the map.’
‘Oh,’ he murmured, his mind blank.
‘From your reaction, it's as if I've spoken to you in a completely different language’ she giggled.
‘The truth is, it's my first time in Spain,’ he told her, smiling more confidently, as if making small talk with that nice girl distracted him from the rest. ‘It's been from the airport to the hotel, from the hotel here and not much more.’
‘I can imagine,’ she whispered, nodding. ‘When I arrived in Madrid I felt the same way, but it's a city that has its charm. I got to know it through my uni friends, who taught me a bit about it. If you want, I can give you a tour.’
Jisung opened his eyes wide in surprise and gave a quick glance at his manager, in case he had overheard them. Maybe he'd gone too far in talking to a stranger, he had to find a polite way to turn down her offer without making her feel bad, and he had to do it fast, because staring at her with that look on his face wasn't a good idea.
‘Huh... The truth is... Well, I…’
‘Hey, it wasn't obligatory to accept the offer’ she soothed him, resting a hand on his arm gently, ready to remove it if it made him uncomfortable. ‘My best friend always tells me I have no filter, which is hypocritical because she acts the same way, but I'm sorry if it was too much. Do you want us to introduce ourselves first?’
He saw her smile as he nodded slowly, his heart still trying to escape from his chest, feeling the warm palm of her hand through the expensive black suit. But it was all right, wasn't it? She was a nice girl, who had a clear problem with trust ーof depositing it in total strangers, that isー but who apparently had no bad intentions whatsoever. And he was in a room full of people anyway. Nothing could go wrong.
‘My name is Abril’ she said, bowing his head slightly, ‘I studied at EID, the European Institute of Design, I have a little silly vlog acc on You Tube and I really like make-up and Paris.’
‘I'm Jisung’ he replied, mimicking the bow. ‘Han Jisung, and I'm an idol, and... well, huh…’
‘Nonono, you're doing it wrong,’ she corrected him, denying firmly. ‘I know you're an idol and what brand you're representing. That's usually known to anyone who's been slightly informed. Introduce yourself for real, like I have.’
‘Like you?’
‘Mm-hm,’ she made eye contact with him, and indicated the beginning of the sentence. ‘You're Jisung, you come from…’
‘Oh, yeah,’ he nodded, already more enthusiastically, understanding where she was going. ‘I'm Jisung, I live in Seoul and I'm a Kpop producer and singer. I like music a lot, anime, and watching documentaries.’
‘See, a fantastic presentation,’ she said, clapping quietly, but with a big smile on her face. ‘So it's your first time on a modelling catwalk.’
‘And yours,’ he replied, unable to bite his tongue. ‘Can I ask you a question?’
‘Of course’ Jisung realised that they were fully turned towards each other, and that with how focused he was on the conversation he had stopped stressing over the myriad of thoughts that anxiety was sneaking into his mind.
‘If you're from here how come you speak Korean so well?’ his frown was furrowed, lips forming an adorable pout, and she found it endearing because it was the same gesture her best friend used when she didn't understand something.
‘I like to listen to Korean music,’ she replied, hoping she didn't scare him off, ‘occasionally’.
‘So you know who I am?’ he asked, his leg starting to move up and down.
‘I know what group you belong to,’ April said, her smile taking on a relaxed, casual gesture. ‘And I know you're not the boy with the foxy eyes, or the one with the freckles, which are the most recognisable.’
‘Oh,’ Jisung murmured, exhaling a relieved sigh that he didn't know he was holding back. ‘Jeongin and Felix.’
‘Yes, that was it’ he heard her crystalline laughter again, ’I saw him around earlier, he came looking very handsome.’
‘Louis Vuitton is doing an awesome job with him, and they're very nice and attentive’ he explained, cracking a smile at the thought of his best friend. ‘He's been very welcomed, and our fans love it.’
‘No wonder,’ April replied, nodding, ’Louis Vuitton has a very good reputation.’
There was a pause, and Jisung looked away from the Spanish girl, suddenly self conscious. She knew who he was, not because she was a fan but because she had studied the guests at the event, but he didn't know her at all and it was starting to become less of a problem to talk to her and more a reason to feel bad. He wasn't good at starting a conversation, and he doubted that in a situation like that asking her about her favourite colour was the best approach.
He opened his mouth, determined to ignore the anxiety bubbling in his chest, but let all the air in his lungs escape as soon as the lights dimmed. His manager tapped him gently on the shoulder, alerting him that this was the first sign that the catwalk was about to begin, and the insufferable twitch of his knee going up and down uncontrollably became present as soon as the murmur in the room died down.
He had barely had time to talk to the girl, Abril, and just when it seemed he was finally able to make a friend of his own, he was interrupted. He wasn't even able to concentrate on the introduction to the event, on what songs were playing as the first models came out. All he could think about was how sweet she had been to him, and how unresponsive he had been in return, even the impression he must have made on her, and all the phrases he would have said if he could go back in time.
But then he felt April's soft hair brush against his arm, her bright eyes still following one of the girls around the stage as she whispered excitedly about how much she loved that specific outfit. And somehow, all the voices in Jisung's head quieted down a bit. He cleared his throat, as if he could reset the reaction he'd had, and tried to locate the model she was talking about, offering his opinion on the jumper she was wearing.
It didn't take long for them to start gossiping, choosing a classic one-to-ten point system to evaluate the clothes, whispering numbers to each other between models, slyly pointing at them to discuss outfits. Jisung had a good time. He didn't feel judged when April made him giggle and his laughter sounded slightly louder than it should, and he didn't worry about the image he was giving, even when Felix gave him a look full of affection when he saw that anxiety hadn't crept up his chest until it choked him.
Even as the catwalk came to an end, and the CEOs of each fashion brand came out to greet the audience, Jisung was still glued to the girl, clapping but exchanging murmurs, and asked her to accompany him outside, to the small terrace hidden from the eyes of the people and Stays on the street, to say goodbye. Or meet Chan and Felix, whichever made her feel more comfortable.
‘Actually, I have to take a taxi home,’ said the brunette, clutching her small bag with both hands. ‘I have to get there before the pizza delivery guy.’
Abril's laughter at the joke Jisung hadn't understood hung in the air, the Korean's face turning somewhat serious. After nearly two hours with her, maybe letting her leave so quickly didn't sound so good to him.
‘Maybe we can drop you off at home,’ he proposed, forgetting to glance at his manager to confirm that he could do that.
‘No way, don't worry,’ she replied, resting a hand on his arm. Her smile was genuine, and Jisung wondered if she really didn't care if she had to pay for the taxi or if she was just saying that to avoid compromising him. ‘It's right here... huh, well, near here. And my friends are waiting for me.’
Jisung looked at her, letting her know with a raised eyebrow that precisely because it was nearby, even if it wasn't, it was no problem for them to drop her off.
‘If your fans see me get into your car, my public career is over,' she added, this time with a compelling reason.
Jisung deflated, knowing she was right, and gave her an apologetic smile. Maybe in Spain the fans weren't as controlling as in other countries, but there were freaks everywhere, and a photo taken out of context could ruin her life and force him into hiatus.
‘Anyway,’ Abril continued, averting her gaze, but letting him notice the mischievous glare that didn't promise anything good, ‘if you're going to stay longer in Madrid, the tour offer still stands. Signing whatever NDAs it takes to make you feel safer, just as a friend showing you around town.’
‘For real?’
Jisung saw that as possible. It wasn't the first time they had attended events in other countries and seized the oppotunity to visit the city or go out with friends. It wouldn't be anything they hadn't done before. Even his company could run Abril's digital footprint if they didn't trust her. The city looked very nice, and he knew he wouldn't be bored with her. He could even invite Chan and Felix and introduce them.
‘Tomorrow is the birthday of two of my best friends,’ Abril explained, making calculations with one finger, counting days in the air. ‘We're going to Warner's, which is an amusement park very close by. I know Lucas won't mind if a few extra friends join us. And then I think we're going to Murcia for a couple of days, but you can join us. We're good people, I promise.’
And he knew she wasn't lying. A soul as pure as hers could only get along with people just as fantastic. The plan sounded good, and even if his managers wouldn't allow him to travel with strangers, they couldn't deny them a visit to an amusement park, so he was going to be able to see her the next day. That was enough for him.
‘I'll have to consult about the trip,’ he announced, taking a breath of air to pretend he didn't feel guilty about making decisions without the input of his hyung and his sunshine twin.
‘Mm-hm,’ she murmured, nodding. It was fair, she understood that.
‘But I'll see you tomorrow at the Warner.’
‘Oh my God, that's fantastic!’ she exclaimed, tightening her grip on the young rapper's arm, her touch warm in the Spanish capital's night breeze. ‘If you need anything, text me on Instagram!’
Before he could react, the girl threw her arm around his shoulders, pressing him against her body in a light embrace, and hurriedly said goodbye, unlocking her phone screen to check the time and blurting out a string of what sounded like really aggressive insults in Spanish. Jisung believed that Spaniards dined very late if they pretended to have pizza at eleven o'clock at night, but he himself usually made himself ramen if he got home past midnight from the studio, so he couldn't say anything about it.
He saw her white lace dress flutter behind her as she walked down the stairs to the main entrance and disappeared into the crowd, but he heard a loud whistle followed by an unmistakable ‘Taxi!’ in a strong, musical Spanish accent, so he assumed she would have gotten a ride the first try.
He turned towards the inside of the building, looking for Felix's unmistakable blond hair, which would be the easiest to spot in the midst of the people, and waited in his corner for his friend to get lost in the area Jisung was in. The staff would wait for all the guests to leave the venue before starting to collect chairs and decorations, but a few people with the organisers' branded clothing and name badges were already guiding the stragglers to the entrance.
Jisung felt that it would be an opportune moment to pull out his phone, and at least try to contact Chan or his brother to let them know where he was. After giving a couple of rather competent directions, it was Jaehyun who succeeded in reaching him, and Felix who greeted him with a pat on the shoulder and his eyebrows going up and down suggestively.
‘That's a rather childish reaction when you consider I'm a taken man,’ he commented, before the blond could say anything.
‘That wasn't why,’ he protested in response, the high-pitched whine catching in his throat. ‘But you could share her number around the group or something, in case anyone's interested.’
Felix laughed at his own words, as if he had told a joke, and Jisung rolled his eyes playfully. He shook his head, giving Felix up as impossible and turned to his leader when he called his name.
‘Did she know us?"
‘She's a Kpop fan, but not Stay,’ he explained, getting defensive. If they had been the ones sitting next to Abril, they probably would have introduced her by now and been close friends. ‘I wish you guys had met her, she has that responsible little girl aura in her.’’
He saw Felix frown, but ignored it. He thought it was a fairly apt description, but it was true that it was a little strange if you hadn't interacted with her. It reminded him a little of the way the blond himself lit up the room he was in, and made you feel special when he gave you his undivided attention. But he couldn't ramble on about what description to use for his new friend. He had more important things to think about.
His priority was to figure out how to introduce the subject of meeting up the next day without causing rejection out of mistrust. Because he knew that no matter how much he could inspire Felix's enthusiasm, the final say would rest with Chan and Jaehyun, his manager, who were directly responsible for him, especially overseas. And while Jae answered directly to Division 1 (and sometimes their mother), Chan would primarily look out for his safety. And Jisung had to admit that it didn't look very safe.
‘Jae hyung, do we have plans for the next few days?’
‘A scheduled visit tomorrow to the Bernabéu stadium for Chan,’ he said, trying to recall the trip schedule from memory. ‘But nothing else. Do you want to add anything?’
‘Can we go in the afternoon to the Warner?’ continued Jisung, waiting for that pause when the question would sink into their heads before they asked what that was.
But they didn't have to. Felix grabbed his arm, his eyes wide with excitement looking up at him, as full of excitement as Abril's had been when he'd told her they'd see each other tomorrow. He knew Felix wouldn't let him down ーwhat had surprised him was how quickly he had reacted.
‘What is...’ began Chan.
‘Do I want to know what Warner's is?’ interrupted Jaehyun, crossing his arms.
‘It's the amusement park in Madrid!’ exclaimed Felix, doing all the work for him. ‘Can we go? Please, please, please?’
Chan narrowed his eyes, recognising Jisung's gesture of faux innocence, but decided to keep quiet, leaving the decision in the manager's hands. For a few moments the four of them were silent, and Jisung could count his heartbeats in the time it took Jaehyun to contrast pros and cons. Felix had his eyes closed and his fingers crossed, and at the sight of that the manager could only exhale a defeated sigh.
‘I'll take care of getting the tickets,’ he murmured, hiding a smile at the excitement of the younger ones.
Unable to sit still, Jisung fidgeted once more in the seat of the tinted-window car he felt he had been in all day. It was five o'clock in the afternoon, and although Seoul would soon start to cool down, Madrid was still at a temperature he wasn't used to. It was very hot, and having to wear a mask and a hat to avoid being recognised only made his long-sleeved clothes more uncomfortable. He was looking forward to getting to the amusement park, but sometimes his only wish was to get to the hotel and take a cold shower.
The night before, he had made a video call with Minho, telling him everything he had experienced, from the tense moments to the sweetness of the lovely April. He had listened for quite a while until Jisung realised he had no idea what time it was in Seoul, and when the dancer told him not to worry, that it was worth listening to him talk about his day, Jisung hung up on him, because he knew Minho would answer a call from him even if he was very busy. He believed there were limits.
For example, when he found out that it turned out that eleven o'clock at night in Spain was six o'clock in the morning in Korea, and he was almost certain that he had woken Minho up.
But he hadn't been able to sleep, too excited about what would happen the next day. He had been up late watching videos on YouTube, and by the time he realised he could look up Abril's account it was already one o'clock in the morning. The long plane flight had messed up his sleep schedule, and he didn't really feel tired, so he started watching his new friend's latest vlogs.
He browsed through the covers of all the videos, guided by the images, as the titles were of no use to him ーhe didn't understand them at allー and ended up watching one from the previous week, which featured the logo of his band. As it started, an upbeat tune began to play while the intro was shown: figures of celebrities with the effect of being cut out of paper appearing and disappearing against a light background, and then the same words he had seen as the title. With one difference, however, the small addition of the name of the event he had gone to earlier that same afternoon.
And then April appeared, this time with her hair in a bun, though just as tight, and began to speak. It took Jisung about forty seconds to realise that he didn't understand a word she was saying. He snorted, suppressing a smile, and stopped the video, praying that there would be Korean among the subtitle options. As he searched for it, he found himself thinking that this was probably what all the international Stays were suffering from with their group's content. He should talk to Division 1 to make sure there was a variety of language options before uploading their videos.
When he pressed play, Jisung understood what the Spaniard had meant when she said she had researched which celebrities would represent which brands. The video was basically about that. She had a roulette wheel with the main fashion brands, all invited by the organisers, and throughout the twenty minutes of her explanation he talked about what the event was going to be like, and who she would meet once inside. At the mention of Prada, Valentino and Gucci, Jisung remembered seeing the people Abril was talking about. But the minutes passed quickly, enchanted by her voice, until he realised that she had left Fendi, Louis Vuitton and Balmain for last.
’The new addition to Europe is the three members of Stray Kids coming to Madrid,’ he had heard her say, as the group photos they had taken for Maxident appeared on his screen. ‘It's rare for a Kpop group to show so much interest into send so many of their members to fashion events, but we're thrilled to welcome them.’
Abril had given a short summary of how the Korean music industry worked for those who had no idea, and then had objectively detailed what role each had in the group and which brand had invited them. Jisung had liked the professional and open way she had introduced them, and once again he understood why he had felt so comfortable with her. She made you feel welcome, listened to. She made you understand without making you feel dumb. With one warm look you knew you could trust her.
So he had told Minho, before he noticed he was falling asleep again.
But at that moment, in the car, after a busy morning in which he'd been late for his gym session with Chan and then they'd walked around the city before visiting the stadium of his hyung's favourite football team, it was too hot. He rolled up the sleeves of the oversized jacket he'd bought before the trip once more and turned to Felix, leaning his head against the backrest with a huff. The blond, who had his phone in his hands as he played some Genshin, made an acknowledging noise, leaning against Jisung.
’We're getting close, Ji,‘ his manager said from the passenger seat, picking up on his uneasiness.
He didn't reply, too abstracted to notice that Jaehyun couldn't see him nod. He fiddled with his own phone, removing and replacing one of the corners of the case, deciding if it was a good idea to text Abril. He didn't have an individual Instagram account, even though more than half the members were considering creating one, and he didn't know if they'd let him use the group one for something like this. He hadn't discussed it with anyone, that he wanted to meet the girl at the Warner, and not knowing if it would look bad to his friends made him think too much in his head.
He wasn't even listening to the distracted answers Felix was giving Chan, when the older boy asked him about what kind of attractions they would find, which ones he was most excited about. He went into the Instagram app he had almost unused, then turned off the screen. He looked for Abril's username, which he had memorised from her Youtube videos, then turned off the screen. When he turned it back on, the search box had gone blank, so he had to type it in again. But when he finally had her account in his hands, he had to turn it off again. He wanted to contact her, but somehow it felt wrong.
And then he noticed Felix giving him playfully with his head on the shoulder, as if he didn't have to curl up slightly to do it, as if he were a kitten, and heard him say ‘Do it.’
He didn't even notice the way his own heart stopped, thinking he'd been caught committing a crime. He glanced at Felix fleetingly, his wide eyes colliding with his best friend's soft gaze, and snuck into the Spaniard's private messages, hoping his coy ‘Just arrived at Warner's, where are you? Jisung’ along with the blue symbol next to @ realstraykids indicating his authenticity would get Abril to see it as soon as possible. And then he took refuge in Felix's embrace, the two of them entwined like the hands of two lovers, answering Chan's questions with renewed energy.
Jaehyun escorted them to the entrance of the huge amusement park, letting them wander along the cobblestone paths once he displayed the tickets he had gotten the day before online, and Jisung tried to calm himself, not to look at his phone, to enjoy a moment with his friends. He let Felix, to whom he was glued by their linked arms, guide them to the first attraction, which had a short queue. Chan began to ramble on about the memories the pictures in the place brought back, and Jisung took a breath of air as he took in every person who passed him.
By the time Felix got his attention, Jisung had already had a heart attack for every straight-haired brunette girl he'd seen, and the touch of his best friend's hand in his arm brought him back to reality, to the spinning mugs with Scooby Doo decorations, and to his leader's terrible jokes about how it was a betrayal to be there without his own Mistery Inc. gang's dog, Seungmin. He closed his eyes to relax a little before the ride got started, and then had to hold on to Felix and his manager, looking for support that he could only find on the edge of the giant cup they'd been stuffed into as it began to spin.
It was fun, he thought. And then he let out a shaky laugh, hearing Felix's excited shout to his left, followed by one from Chan in front of him, and stopped thinking. He didn't need to. Not as long as he could rest his mind and fill his memory with moments like this.
And for a while it worked, leaving Scooby Doo's Tea Party Mystery and heading straight for the bumper cars themed on the Joker movie. The park was huge, and what was most striking was the continuity with which people were screaming. It was all conversation and laughter and screaming all around him, until he realised that he too was laughing with his friends, and talking. And he'd be screaming too, he thought to himself, when Felix pointed out all the roller coasters surrounding the hotels and the smaller attractions. The blond was going to want to go on one, probably the one that looked the most dangerous, as soon as they let him, even if he ended up passing out.
And Chan was going to let him go on one, even if it made Felix so dizzy, because it made him happy. He'd say it would be better if he could ride along with him, and that would leave Jisung alone, because Jaehyun refused to participate in crazy ideas like that.
So after leaving with sore knees, but with his adrenaline pumping, he had resigned himself to it. They used the map they had been given at the entrance to get to the queue for the Stunt Fall, the star of the park, and after fifteen minutes of pent-up nerves, they found themselves first in line at the entrance to the roller coaster. Chan went first, Felix behind him, following the directions in English from the staff, and Jisung waited for them to come back for him.
‘Are you here alone?’ the boy asked him, in a rough accent.
Jisung nodded, his throat suddenly dry, and he began to regret it as he saw that he was being taken to the opposite area where Felix and Chan had been placed. But he said nothing. It wasn't worth it. He didn't feel able to formulate a sound, anyway. His vocal cords were as tense as the muscles in his shoulders, and if the girl in the seat next to him noticed as the staff secured the harness to his body and the belt to his lap, she said nothing too. Jisung closed his eyes and tried to swallow, highly attentive to the remaining people before the attraction was full and they could begin.
‘First time?’ he heard from behind him, as he watched the same staff member lead the couple who had waited behind his friends and him to a spot further down the queue of seats.
‘First time?’ the girl repeated, this time in English. Jisung turned to his left all too quickly, utterly convinced he was experiencing a déjà vu. This time he didn't need to squint his eyes to focus in the dark, but to make sure that the girl he had failed to greet nervously as he sat down wasn't Abril. She didn't really look anything like her, her skin slightly paler and her hair chaotically curly and much darker, but she was the owner of a similar smile. Wide, kind, luminous.
Jisung nodded again, too overwhelmed to do anything else.
‘Not mine,’ she said, as if it were a matter of pride. ‘Whenever I can I come with my friends. It's pretty awesome, but you don't have to be afraid of safety. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise.’
‘Huh..., thanks.’ he muttered, taking another breath of air.
‘Do you want me to distract you for a bit?’ the girl asked, tilting her head to the side, her hands clasped in the harness, ’Or would you rather I leave you alone?’
Jisung was grateful to be able to choose. It gave his brain the feeling of being in control over something, even if before she finished uttering the second question he was already ready to say yes to the first. He would give anything to pretend he wasn't about to die.
‘A..., a distraction wouldn't be bad, actually,’ he managed to whisper, his words achieving to soften his travelling companion's sharp gaze.
‘Mm-hm, I'll tell you things then,’ she warned him, as if Jisung could back out at any moment. ‘You can interrupt me at any time, or tell me things yourself if you like. Did you come alone?’
‘No,’ he replied, glad to be able to focus on something other than the way the harness was digging into his skin. ‘I came with two friends, but we got separated.’
‘Oh, you didn't see the sign.’ she sighed, frowning as if the information really hurt.
‘What sign?’
‘We didn't see it the first time we came either,’ the girl recounted. ‘While you're queuing to get on, there's a sign that says if you don't have a partner to share seats with, they'll put you with someone who doesn't have one either. That's why they put you with me.’
‘You came alone?’ asked Jisung.
‘Nope,’ she said, smiling. ’I also came with my friends. But there are five of us. One gets dizzy so she goes with the one who doesn't have phobia to highs. And of the other three, last time Lucas went alone, so this time it was my turn. My name is Noa, by the way.’
‘Jisung.’ he spoke, more cheerful. ‘The same thing happened to me. Felix gets dizzy, so he can't go alone. And I wouldn't be much help either.’
‘It's all right, Jisung,’ said Noa, savouring every syllable of his name, ‘you can be helpful to me. Sometimes I need to squeeze someone's hand when the curves are too pronounced. If you need it too, we can make a deal.’
It sounded good. He knew she would gain nothing and that she was proposing it because he was probably so pale he looked sick. It was him who needed to be able to anchor himself to someone so he wouldn't get too overwhelmed, or dizzy, or faint, like Felix. Noa was already being helpful herself, and he would be eternally grateful - it was either trust her or ask the boring boy from before to get him out of there and let him put his feet on solid ground. For a moment he even wondered if she was so kind to all the rookies they put next to her when she went alone, or if he had been an exception.
‘I'd like to make the deal,’ he confided, putting his hand in front of them.
She took it, and Jisung's breathe hitched, feeling Noa's soft palm against his. ‘I promise to hold your hand very tightly and let you know what's going to happen so you won't be caught by surprise.’
‘I promise not to let go of your hand, and to hold it a lot tighter in response,’ he said, finally smiling, letting the air that had caught in his throat come out shakily.
They did not separate their hands once the deal was done. Instead, Noa rested them in her lap, humming whatever song was on her mind, giving Jisung a chance to observe her. She was tan, not as dark as April, but a caramel shade that made the light freckles on her cheeks blend in with the wrinkles that formed in her eyes when she smiled. Her hair was in a high ponytail, but the curls spilled over her bare shoulders like cascades of coffee. The top she wore was red, flashy, with a straight across neckline that clung to her chest, crossed by a black belt pouch.
He let his gaze wander until Noa's voice brought him back to reality, ‘There's a minute left, maybe you should put your hat away, so it doesn't fly off.’
Jisung hadn't thought of that. The clothes he was wearing were loose, just the way he liked them, and he hadn't brought a backpack. All his belongings were with Jaehyun, as were Felix's and Chan's, so he didn't know where he could leave it. Noa probably saw the doubt in his eyes, because with her free hand she reached up to his head, murmuring a quiet ‘May I?’ and waiting for a nod before taking it. Jisung watched her fold it in half and tuck it as best she could behind her back, shoving it between her skin and the secure grip of her bra. His cheeks flushed red when he noticed, but he said nothing, letting her settle back in.
She flashed him a smile and he grinned back, leaning back against the seat, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He felt Noa's hand give him a friendly squeeze, and even though fear was beginning to build in his chest, nerves rising in his throat, vertigo clouding his mind, he was able to return the squeeze, stroking the back of Noa's hand with his thumb.
And when the ride started, Jisung began to scream.
Once they returned to their point of origin, silence fell. It lasted only a few seconds before trembling sighs and adrenaline-fuelled screams began to sound, reactions that gradually ranged from euphoria to relief. Jisung would consider himself in the latter group, his heart pumping blood at full speed, if he wasn't too busy trying to figure out if all his limbs were still part of his body. His chest was rising and falling in hurried movements that looked too much like terrified hyperventilation, and he was still holding Noa's hand as if his life depended on it.
She belonged to the first group, however. She was a little dishevelled, taking big breaths of air, but her eyes shone with the intensity of someone who had just experienced a great adventure. Jisung wanted to memorise that vision, but he felt a tingling on his skin that made him uncomfortable, so he tried to close his eyes and think of something else. The worst part was over. He should have informed himself before going up, because he certainly wouldn't have set foot on the Stunt Fall if he knew it had a free-fall section of at least fifty metres, but at least he'd been lucky enough to get the ride with Noa.
While he had been screaming, yelling out phrases in Korean and English, thinking that his heart was going to burst out of his chest at any moment and that he was making a fool of himself in front of a beautiful girl, Noa had warned him that the worst moment was coming, and to close his eyes tightly. He had reacted two seconds too late, and by the time he saw the void opening up before him, even though he had curled up in his seat, his imagination had done the rest. It felt like the longest moment of his life, and he couldn't even recover before the ride played another trick on him with a section where the seats spun on their axis and he ended up upside down.
He didn't know whether he wanted to curse Felix for his love of roller coasters, or Abril for mentioning Warner.
He had to check if she had replied to his message. The reminder of Abril's presence at the park hit him like a bucket of cold water, knowing he'd left his phone in his brother's hands and would probably murder him if he found out, and he tried to get up, not realising he was still strapped into the seat by the harness. The restraint caused him to become even more distressed, his hand still numb but gripping Noa's tightly, and he gave her a frightened look.
Noa realised immediately what was happening, and slid her hand from his gently, holding it by the back to leave a quick caress. She removed the safety bar that had allowed them to hold on to something during the trip, and undid her harness before jumping down to the solid ground and starting to undo Jisung's. She removed buckles and loops quickly with the speed of someone who knows how they work, taking Jisung by the arm and escorting him to one of the less crowded corridors nearby. Jisung let himself be guided, his gaze blurring and his chest constricting his lungs, preventing him from breathing normally.
Jisung was losing control of the situation, and being aware of it made him feel even more overwhelmed. The heat wasn't helping, and even though the shirt he was wearing was quite thin, because he could feel Noa's hand on his arm, it clung to his skin with sweat. His legs were shaking, though whether it was his anxiety or the effect of the roller coaster, he didn't know, and he was shivering. The high temperature of the park, with all the people everywhere, seemed to grow by the minute, and Jisung thought it was very likely that he would pass out right there and never be able to return to Korea. No one would find him, no one would come looking for him.
‘Hey, Sung,’ Noa murmured, rubbing his arms, ’can I call you Sung, mm?’
Jisung nodded, eyes closed tightly, concentrating on his breathing. It seemed silly to him that he was having this reaction once it was all over and not when he had no idea what the journey might be like. It didn't make sense. And he knew that focusing on how pathetic he felt wouldn't help this attack to end quickly, but he couldn't help it. All the tricks he knew would disappear, his mind a blank, when anxiety began to bubble up in his chest and he wasn't in the comfort of his room, or with one of his members.
‘Listen, you're doing great, okay?’ he heard again, and tried to focus his gaze on her eyes, trying to distinguish where the brown started and the green ended, losing himself in the depths of her pupils, ’but I'm going to need you to breathe with me, yeah? Do you think you can do that?’
Jisung processed her words, frowning at the insistent dizziness he felt swirling in his temples, nodding again. He could do it, he wasn't losing his mind. He had to do it so he could apologise properly. A girl like Noa didn't deserve to have someone like him spoil a nice May afternoon with her friends. So he pretended that the shiver that crept over his skin had been from anxiety and not from her when he felt Noa's hand slide down to rest on his chest.
He also chose to ignore the way Noa touched him, all gentleness and decency, giving him the sweetest of looks, as if she'd done that routine many times before. Anyone with anxiety who had someone to lean on at times like that was very lucky, but having Noa was a gift. She didn't make you feel like a burden, instead she distracted you enough to make you think it was a team effort. That was why his breath caught in his throat when he felt one of Noa's fingers brush against the skin of his chest, unintentionally slipping through the hole between two buttons.
She seemed not to notice, too busy ensuring his well-being, and continued with her rehearsed choreography. She took the hand that hadn't been abused by the trip, grasping him gently by the wrist, and rested it on her own chest, slowly raising it with a breath, urging him to do the same. Jisung closed his eyes, feeling more clearly how smooth the skin of her collarbone was, soft and delicate under his guitarist's fingertips, and forced himself to mimic the calm rise and fall of her chest.
No words were exchanged, none were needed, until Jisung felt sane enough to look at her again. They were only inches apart, arms locked and intertwined, her hands in his, and though he could only hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears, he felt her own mirroing his quick race beneath his fingers.
Noa had beautiful eyes. Not only that, but the smile she offered hid an accomplice that made you want to follow her wherever she wanted to take you, and for a moment, Jisung wanted to. But he couldn't. He was trapped, between the wall and her hands, between the wall and her gaze, and he didn't want to run away. Every second he spent memorising all the intermingled shades of mahogany and forest green in her irises, and when he realised that he hadn't once taken his eyes off hers, he was shocked. Jisung was incapable of holding eye contact for more than a few seconds with anyone.
‘That's my girl, now kiss him!’
The spell broke as soon as Noa processed those words in Spanish, and Jisung's body moved a little closer to hers as she pulled away slightly.
‘He was having a panic attack, you moron,' she whispered, her low, strong tone contrasting with the gentleness of her hands against his skin.
Then Jisung snapped back to reality, his chest rising and falling more calmly, and he located the boy who had spoken. He had been cracking a rascally smile until he had heard the word panic - which was not so different in Spanish than it was in English, Jisung had been able to understand - and now he was approaching with a concerned gesture towards them.
‘Do you need ice? Do you want us to find you somewhere cooler?’ he asked, still in the language he didn't understand, dividing his attention between Noa and Jisung.
‘Use English, please,’ she asked him, leaving warm caresses on the back of Jisung's hands absently, ’he's a foreigner and it's not polite to gossip without him knowing what we're saying.’
Then she turned to him, giving him her full attention again, and said, ‘Remember I mentioned my friends earlier?’
Jisung nodded, remembering every word he had exchanged with Noa.
‘This is Lucas,’ Jisung turned to the boy, who had left a safe distance between them, waiting for instructions from the girl. His hair was disheveled, as if he'd just taken a nap, and all chestnut brown except for an unruly blond highlight in his fringes. ‘Her twin sister is the girl who gets dizzy that I told you about. She also has anxiety, so he asks if you need ice or a cooler place.’
‘Huh, thanks, Lucas..., Noa,’ Jisung's gaze flickered between one and the other, suddenly nervous. He wasn't used to that kind of attention, it made him uncomfortable to a certain extent. ‘I'm better now.’
‘Oh,’ Noa murmured, taking a step back and pulling her arms away from him. Jisung wanted to follow them, to place them back on his body, to keep feeling her touch on him. He repressed it. ‘Of course.’
‘I'm grateful, really,’ he repeated, as if that wasn't enough. Noa's gaze had flashed with pain at his rejection, and Jisung had hated it. ‘But I should go, my friends...’
‘Right, of course,’ she repeated, taking a step backwards, towards Lucas, like two planets orbiting on the same axis. ‘I understand, they must be worried.’
‘I didn't mean to...’
‘Hey, we made a deal,’ she reminded him, forcing a smile onto her rosy lips, ‘we've already gotten off the Stunt. Glad I could be of help.’
The deal was to hold on tight to each other, Jisung thought. And now she was letting him go. That wasn't part of the deal.
‘We could always get the groups together...’ Lucas wanted to propose, resting a hand protectively on Noa's shoulder.
‘Jisung!’
His heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. Behind Noa and Lucas was Abril, smiling as if her life depended on it, also slightly dishevelled but with the same cheerful vibe that characterised her. She had stood halfway, having recognised his slim figure and his dyed ash-blonde hair, and Lucas had turned around quickly, frowning.
‘You two know this one?’ he'd said, receiving a smack from Noa for continuing to use Spanish, ‘Are you swapping me for him? On my own birthday?’
‘We're not, dummy,’ Abril said, and Jisung found it odd to hear her voice a softer tone, using English to communicate and not the Korean they had spoken in the previous evening. ‘This is the boy I told you about yesterday, Han Jisung.’
‘Ahh,’ pronounced Noa, placing him in her memories, ’the nice guy from Balmain. I hadn't actually caught the name, sorry.’
‘That's okay,’ he said, shrugging, processing that Noa and April knew each other. For a person who wasn't used to Korean culture, understanding how names worked or being able to remember one must have been difficult. For him, their Spanish names were.
‘I still don't get it,’ Lucas interrupted.
‘You were drunk yesterday,’ Abril reminded him, reaching their level and bowing her head slightly in respect. Jisung did the same. ‘You made a terrible joke, let me remember... Oh, jamón serrano. Ham in English. Ham, because of Han. He's one of the members of the group that Carla likes.’
‘Carla is another one of our friends, but she didn't come today,’ Noa informed him.
Lucas made an affirmative noise, indicating that he already remembered, and was about to make a comment about it, searching for the right English words, when another shout was heard from behind him. Again an acquaintance shouting his name. This time his brother. Jisung grimaced, and turned slowly, avoiding making eye contact with him, and turning directly into Felix and his hyung, who were trailing after Jae and relaxed as soon as they spotted him.
‘Hey, hey, hey, hey,’ Lucas exclaimed, stepping protectively between him and the other three, ’do you even know each other?’
Jisung paused for a moment, wondering to whom the question was addressed, but before he could explain who they were, or even gazing at Abril fro help, his brother stepped up to Lucas, facing him, and replied in slurred English, ‘I'd like to know if you know him at all, because he's obviously my little brother.
The tension could be cut with a knife, and Jisung shifted uncomfortably under the incredulous stares of Felix and Chan, who couldn't believe they had just witnessed their manager's words. Jaehyun never let his emotions, and especially anger, spill over into his actions. Never. But before Chan could jump in to try and sort out the misunderstanding, Abril and Noa burst out laughing behind Jisung's back.
‘Lucas, he looks an awful lot like Jisung,’ Noa said, stepping forward with her hands in the pockets of her baggy jeans, her face still holding an almost uncontrollable laughter.
‘It's actually kind of surprising that you didn't notice,’ April chipped in, tilting her head to the side, trying to stifle her smile behind Noa's shoulder.
Jisung saw Lucas blush, mumble an apology to Jae, who accepted it with a nod, and step back so that Jisung could approach his friends. The first to move closer when Jisung was near enough was his brother, putting his arm around his shoulders and asking him in Korean if he was okay. He explained that he hadn't been, but thanks to the girl he'd been sitting next to, he was feeling better now. Noa smiled at hearing her name, and Jisung found himself smiling back, adding that she had been the perfect rollercoaster companion.
‘I'm glad you had someone up there,’ Jaehyun stated, looking up at the ride, which had started up again, and feeling guilty for not getting on with his little brother. ‘Are you going to introduce us to the fashion girl and her friends?’
Jisung blinked, confused, thinking that Jae's next action as manager would be to say goodbye and send them back to the hotel, but he nodded and turned to the three Spaniards.
‘Guys, this is my brother and manager Han Jaehyun,’ he began, resting his hand on the one Jae had on his shoulder, ‘then there's Lee Felix,’ he continued, letting the blonde flash one of his brightest smiles, ‘and Bang Chan hyung, our leader.’ Then he turned to his friends, and prayed that he pronounced the Spanish names correctly. ‘Abril I met yesterday on the catwalk, because she was sitting next to me. Noa was the one who saved me just now, and made me survive Stunt Fall,’ he shared a smile with her and then paused, glancing at the third member of the trio, and finished the introduction, ‘and Lucas, huh, the friend who thinks I'm jam.’
‘Ham,’ he corrected him, ‘Yummy, Spanish ham.’
‘They're the ones on the albums Carla buys,’ Abril explained, turning to Noa and Lucas. ‘Stray Kids, the ones she had saved up for the concert in Madrid and couldn't go to because it was cancelled due to covid.’
Noa nodded, as if she already knew all that information, but Lucas was too busy staring at Chan.
‘Luc, that's creepy,’ Abril said to him. ‘Stop, please.’
Jisung saw Chan blush slightly at the Spaniard's attention, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable or nervous, but he knew that Lucas's nonchalant nature was shocking him a little.
‘It's just that he rings a bell, but I can't place him,' he explained.
‘Oh, I know!’ exclaimed Noa. ‘It's from the Korean reggaeton music video! He's the one who plays the bodyguard!’
‘Korean reggaeton?’ asked Chan, confused.
‘Maknae on top’ replied Abril, and their leader raised her eyebrows in understanding. ‘Carla, our Stay friend, teaches them Kpop songs if they say things is Spanish or have a Latin beat.’
‘But Lucas recognises Chan because there was a time when you kept playing the video over and over,’ Noa informed, smiling half-sideways, waiting for Abril's poorly suppressed alarmed cry at being exposed.
‘I'm a Seventeen fan, shush,’ she confessed. ‘Besides, they sure don't like talking about this stuff.’
‘Oh, we like knowing that people enjoy our songs, don't worry,’ Felix said, smiling, enjoying the chaos. ‘I'm the one who says ‘Felix Navidad’ in a song called Christmas Evel.’
‘And your name is Felix,’ Lucas spoke, letting out a laugh, ’It’s genius, I love it.’
‘Jisung and Chan are the ones who compose and produce all their songs,’ Abril added.
‘And Changbin,’ Jisung added.
‘And Changbin,’ Abril repeated, apologising with a smile.
‘Oh my God, enough with the work talk,' Noa interrupted, stretching her arms and rotating her wrists, as if standing still for too long bothered her. ‘Do you want us to show you around? We can even go back to Madrid, if you want.’
The three of them looked at Jaehyun automatically, as if waiting for an answer, and he tried to keep a straight face, crumbling the moment Felix tugged at his shirt sleeve, taking advantage of the effect of his adorable pout. Jae shrugged, deflating like a balloon as he exhaled a tired sigh, and Chan put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
‘You know what the limits are,’ he said, in Korean, looking at Jisung, as if he were to blame for everyone's enthusiasm. ‘And that you don't know these people. They can be fans, they can be stalkers.’
‘Han-nim, if I may,’ Abril interrupted in her soft Korean voice, approaching slowly and timidly, as if she didn't want to get Jisung in trouble. ‘It's true that I'm a fan of your work and I know the Kpop world, but we're not sasaengs. I can give you my word, and speak on behalf of my friends, we simply want to leave a good impression of your first visit to Spain. If you don't trust me, I can show you the content I do on my social networks, and Noa's, even tell you what the rest of them are doing or documentation that certifies that everything I've said is true. Nothing proposed is with bad intentions, we just want to have a good time because Jisung is a wonderful person and I would like to share my time with him and let him meet my friends.’
Jaehyun stared at Abril for a good time, a battle of hard, unmoving brown gazes between the older brother and the Spaniard, who was also an older sister, and then held out his hand.
‘I'm going to need you to sign confidentiality contracts, but it works for me,’ he pronounced slowly, his chest warming at the joy gradually visible on Jisung's face. ‘You're a sincere and kind girl, I respect and admire that.’
‘Thank you very much,’ she replied, accepting the compliment with a bow.
Felix hugged Jisung, excited, but Jisung waited to see the way Noa's eyes lit up when Abril translated her and Lucas what she had just spoken to his brother in his own language. He liked Noa. He liked the way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she smiled, and the soft curve of her arms when she held them close to her body. He liked the tendency she had to rotate her knees and wrists from time to time, or the mischievous turn her smile took when you least expected it. And he liked knowing that there were still a lot of details about her to discover.
Lucas whistled, drawing everyone's attention, and said, ‘I'm guessing the manager's going to need three more NDAs.’
Jisung turned, and saw three more people approaching. He assumed they were more of Noa's friends, and she confirmed it as soon as she noticed Jisung's questioning glance at her. One of the girls was undoubtedly Lucas' twin, with blonde hair falling down her back and the same grin. The only boy, also blond, had tattooed arms, and was pacing a step behind them, lost in thought. The other girl, approaching with a phone in her hand, and the terrifying look of an angry mother, was a Latina in a pretty sundress. And she was the first to open her mouth.
‘Oh, you must be so full of yourselves!’ she exclaimed, in Spanish, not realising that there were more people with them. ‘Get off the Stunt, disappear and then give no sign of life! I don't know what you want the phone for! You always have it in your hand but you never use it when you actually have to use it!’
The blond boy at her back cleared his throat slyly, and the soft noise seemed to snap the angry Latina out of her mindset. She interrupted herself, almost swallowing all the words she had been about to blurt out, and looked up at Jisung, her gaze softening instantly and curving her lips in a welcoming gesture.
‘Sorry, I didn't see you.’
‘In English, Nea.’ pointed out Lucas, voice still, knowing when to goof off, picking his battles wisely.
‘Oh, in English then,’ she repeated, switching languages. ‘Sorry about the show. It's just that they disappeared and we couldn't find them.’
‘That's all right,’ Chan pronounced, before anyone could say anything.
‘Who... are you guys?’ she asked, and Jisung knew the mom attitude wasn't a facade, because all her friends seemed to gather around her like chicks chasing their mama duck.
‘Jisung,’ Noa began, ‘the boy Abril met yesterday, sat next to me in the Stunt because they were uneven. Chan and Felix, along with him, part of a Kpop group, and Jaehyun,’ she paused looking at Jisung's brother, waiting for his approval so she knew she had pronounced it right, ‘is his manager. And Sung's older brother.’
‘Oh,’ said the blonde girl, still sheltering next to her twin brother, ‘welcome to Spain.’
‘She is Isabel,’ introduced the Latina, stepping forward and indicating with her hand the names of the newcomers, 'my name is Atenea, and this is Miguel.’ The tattooed boy waved his fingers in greeting, then folded his arms and stood behind Atenea, as she clapped her hands in the air. ‘I'm sure you'll have time to memorise them all. Any friend of my girls is a friend of ours, and that means you are already part of the group. I assume you've invited them to show them around town, right?’
Noa nodded, and Atenea smiled softly at her.
‘I can take care of talking paperwork with the manager while you tell them about the twins' birthday plans, in case they want to join,’ she told Noa, and Jisung smiled when he saw her and Abril give each other a sneaky high-five. If their group dynamic was even the slightest bit like theirs, he knew his older brother and Chan would consider her an equal. She was the force keeping all her menaces in check.
‘I know a food stand that is perfect to grab something to get over the Stunt Fall impression,’ Lucas said, starting to walk, Abril after him, and waited for Noa and Jisung to follow. ‘Your friend Felix is still a little pale.’
Jisung smiled, knowing that his sunshine twin would appreciate a sweet drink to recover from the faint, and also the nice detail from the Spaniard. He took a quick glance back, checking that Chan had found a spot next to Atenea, and that Jae was trying to communicate with Miguel ーit seemed that neither of them knew much English. Felix, who was indeed still a bit pale, had approached Isabel, who had fallen a bit behind, and had just whispered, ‘Happy birthday.’
He could get used to it.
© stayconnecteed 2024 ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.
#﹙ ★ ﹚ mars — writes.#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#han jisung#han jisung x reader#han jisung imagines#han jisung fluff
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These are my recommendations of LEEKNOW fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)
Credits to the authors!! All information written is taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.
HAPPY READING!!
KEY
[❀]: fluff [𖦹]: humour [𖤓]: angst [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs
˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮------------LEEKNOW------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖
☆ SERIES
his first chance by @jnginlov [𖤓][☄][⟡][breakup]
lee know reached out to try again
(part II) :lee know can’t bring himself to open up and messes up his first chance (prequel to his second chance)
Bubblegum by @cb97percent [☾][✮][3some][situatioship] 8.3k (2 parts)
Minho constantly being in love with himself in the group chat frustrates the shit out of you, and you desperately want to teach him a lesson. Meanwhile, Chris has other plans in mind.
Pudding 7.4k: The declaration that Minho was a virgin until your night together drills a hole in your head. It can't possibly be true because who the hell fucks like that with no prior experience?
What's your sine? By @jeonginssa [❀][𖤓][collegeau] 10 parts
My sunshine by @staysuki [❀][𖤓][⟡][suggestive] 15 parts
pure, optimistic, carefree, and innocent— that was you, known as the campus sweetheart. but with such a personality, people only really ever saw you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less.
tactless and crass yet devilishly handsome, lee minho was well-known around campus for probably all the wrong reasons— but to the people close to him, they know that there's more to him than meets the eye.
you two belong in different worlds, living as people with very different personalities. you two have never interacted even after 2 years of university, and everybody thinks it would remain that way. yet, after a cruel twist of fate involving an accidental blind date mishap, your worlds collide; and maybe, you two weren't as different as everyone thought.
Cupid's Christmass by @btssmutgalore [❀][𖤓][☾][✮✮][e2l] 67.5k (5 parts)
Your friend creates the perfect Christmas blind texting event for all her single friends, including you. While you're texting a person who seems to be perfect for you, you start interacting with your college arch-nemesis, Lee Minho, a lot more.
part II | part III | part IV | part V
Hello stranger by @mintquokka [❀][𖤓][⟡][✮][s2l][ghostau] 40 parts
After moving into a new apartment, y/n learns that she got more than she bargained for.
⠄・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄more to come!⠄・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄
☆-------Minho's masterlist || skz masterlist--------☆
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The Date of All Dates
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-> Masterlist
PART 5 of my ‘Stay Series’ - a long hypothesised journey of a relationship between Bang Chan and Reader.
WC: 10.5k (longer than usual, I am so sorry) | Synopsis: Slice of Life. Just a fun little date with your boyfriend ^-^ Oh what's that? The pair of you cause a scene at a restaurant? Society knows about your relationship? Is there a break up? What's happening?! Oh no!!
Notes: FLUFF + ANGST, Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, Idol!Chan, CaféOwner!Reader, Fem!Reader, Threatening (assassin?, fork?), Jealous!Chan (briefly), Angry!Chan (:DD), Drug Mention (in a joke), Swearing, Pet Names Used (Jagiya, Jagi, Baby, Babe, Love - there are like 50 million others if I'm being honest I'm not listing them all I'm sorry T-T), Kisses (Duh)
Here for a reading marathon? Head right back to the start!
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Overall ‘Stay Series’ Synopsis: Bang Chan experiences the suic!des of Stays, so when you lot choose to die, he dies right along with you. Reader is the “antidote” to this condition - BRIEF MENTIONS IN THIS FIC
PART 5
!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!
--
The video had popped up on your feed, and without much else to do, you clicked on it, happily fast forwarding to the action. Stray Kids had landed at the airport, preparing for a performance nearby. This live was a while ago though, and you smiled softly at the sight of Chris, walking with powerful strides behind the rest of the group, his protective eyes peering out from between his mask and beanie.
The man in question nudged your shoulder, squinting curiously at you, again, covered up by the same mask. Different beanie this time though, and he had his hood pulled up over the top. “Why’re you watching that when I’m right here?” he chuckles, leaning in so he can speak directly in your ear.
“I’m not allowed to come watch you land, so at least I can watch it here,” you chuckle back, admiring the way the Chris on your phone comfortingly placed a hand on Jisung’s back to direct him through the crowd, letting him know he wasn’t alone. “I don’t understand why JYP won’t let you really,” Chris mumbles, snuggling in closer to watch himself over your shoulder.
You tilt your phone screen towards him slightly, “I think it’s obvious.” “Yes but you could just be any other fan. I’m not saying you should personally be waiting to pick me up. You could still be in the crowd though,” he reaches over to slide your phone out of your hand, blinking at you once for permission. He rewinds the video slightly so he can analyse it again, always on the lookout for how he can improve his idol impression.
“And what if you see me? Can you pretend that you don’t know me?” you tease, opening your palm to ask for your phone back. “I’m not an idiot, I’m not about to profess my undying love at the sight of you,” Chris rolls his eyes as he places your phone back in your hand, and you switch it off, “although that is tempting to do,” he finishes with a wink.
You huff and slump further into your chair, turning away from him so you can watch the houses and cars whip past you outside the train window. “On second thought, Stays might correctly interpret the happiness in my eyes as me being in love with someone in the crowd, which is absolutely correct – so yeah, maybe JYP is right.”
You turn back to him with every intention to prove that his eyes can’t possibly be overanalysed by Stays like that, but your words die in your throat when you lock eyes. He’s right. Stays would easily be able to tell. Even with his mouth obscured, and majority of his head covered with a beanie and hoodie, the radiant joy emanating from his eyes is enough to melt your heart. The corners of his eyes are crinkled slightly, but his eyes are still wide with rapt attention. You tilt your head and scan his irises closely.
It's not often in real life that you would use the term ‘sparkling’ to describe someone’s eyes; maybe if you’re writing sure, which is rare enough as is. You couldn’t think of anything else to describe the way he’s looking at you though, so with a sigh you settle for that mental description and decide to change the topic. “Where are we going?” you ask him, glancing up at the map listing the train destinations above the opposite window.
“Somewhere fun,” he simply replies. You raise an eyebrow at him, but decide to give it up for a while. You’d been asking him the same question at random intervals, hoping to surprise the answer out of him, but he hasn’t said anything truly useful. The pair of you lapse into a comfortable silence, and after a while your gaze goes unfocused, lost in your own thoughts. Chris’ hand sneakily slips into yours, and he places it neatly on his thigh, carefully stroking your knuckles. This shakes you out of your reverie, and you glance at your linked hands, a small smile gracing your features. This would have been completely cute if you hadn’t looked up at Chris’ face, his eyes frosty, staring at someone on the opposite chairs to you two.
The poor man opposite was now awkwardly looking away, a blush spreading from his neck upwards. “What’d he do to you? What’s with the glare?” you ask, slowly piecing together the reasoning for Chris’ actions, but wanting to hear it from the man himself.
“He was staring at you,” Chris grumbles, letting his head drop onto your shoulder, his hand still gripping yours. “Okay… well while he was doing that, I was busy thinking about how soft your lips are. There’s no need to be possessive,” you chide, trying to prove a point. Chris laughs and unlinks your hands, instead stretching his arm out around your shoulders protectively.
“My lips? So randomly? You can’t even see them right now.” You grin cheekily and tilt his head towards yours, then press a little kiss to his mask, “I don’t need to see them to think of them.” Chris’ eyes go wide, his thoughts frazzled, scanning the features of your smiley expression. Without even thinking, he pulls his mask down briefly to properly give you a quick kiss, then pulls his mask up and sits back in his chair like nothing had happened.
“Chris,” you hiss, “Don’t do that again. What if someone recognises you?” He gives you the side eye, contemplating, but then shrugs and dismisses the topic. You sigh and lean into his embrace, worried that his antics will lead to your photos plastered on the internet. Catching the train was risky enough, but your car was currently being serviced. Even though a little day spent hanging out in your apartment together would have sufficed, Chris was insistent on taking you out and about.
You only agreed because you figured he didn’t deserve to be cooped up on one of the few days he could mentally and physically rest.
--
Once you got off the train, Chris immediately linked your hand with his and pulled you through the crowd, his head bent low to try and hide his face better. Being out in the public with him like this always made you nervous, and you could tell Chris was aware of it by how he was rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. Generally, when you went on dates, you’d stalk out café’s that weren’t busy, or seek beaches with no crowd. It had become a recent hobby of yours, scouring the internet or roaming around town for cute little nooks and crannies you could safely spend time with him at.
This time however, Chris wouldn’t tell you where you were going, and apart from his vague disguise and minute efforts to keep his head low, everything was at risk. A part of you had a gut feeling that he simply didn’t care anymore. You walked side by side in silence, squinting in the bright sunlight. Carefully, you tried to arrange your hand in his, worried that it was getting too sweaty. Chris glanced at you, shook his head with a slight chuckle, and offered his arm for you to link with instead.
“You going to tell me where we’re going yet?” you urge, constantly eyeing the people walking past to make sure they don’t recognise him. “Not until you relax,” he hums, watching your anxious expression. “You aren’t going to tell me even if I do relax,” you huff, heart stilling at the gaze of a young girl’s eyes lingering on Chris for a little too long.
“Well… if it’s any consolation, I found something for us to do where no one will be able to see my face,” he directs the pair of you around a corner as you stare at him questioningly. Wasn’t that always the idea? “It’ll be dark,” he continues, coming to a halt right in front of a place you don’t recognise. In fact, you haven’t recognised the location for a while now, which has only added to your concerns. You sigh in disbelief as you read the sign above your head.
“Laser tag?” you croak, slowly turning to look at Chris with every ounce of judgement you can muster. Your heart cracks a little at the sight of his eyes dulling, the life dying within them at your apparent disappointment. “Yeah…?” You chuckle and slip your arm out of his to grab his wrist. Then without pause, roughly tug him inside the building, “Alright babe but don’t expect my sympathy when you lose!”
Chris’ relief is evident in his laugh, and you hate yourself for a second there, for ever making him doubt himself in the first place. “You forget who I am,” he teases, “There’s no way I’m going to lose.”
--
He was right. It is dark. Even though there are coloured lights flickering around and the diminished haze of a few button lights on the walls, your vision is limited. In fact, you reckon the LEDs flashing around obnoxiously like you’re in a disco party are meant to confuse and make things more difficult, not actually help you. Your teams had been randomised, and you have to say, your teamwork was shoddy at best. Your side of the game kind of just treated it as an ‘every person for themselves’ kind of situation.
Originally, the staff had asked whether the group wanted their teams randomised or selected themselves. Randomised won majority (much to your chagrin), and Chris had been placed on your team. Upon seeing the way Chris was standing behind you, his arms wrapped in a hug around your waist, chin on your head, one of the staff members swapped him with someone in the other team with a devilish grin. Thanks, now the game was truly on.
It's been maybe 10 minutes, and you haven’t seen Chris anywhere. You’ve scored a few good shots on his team though, peeking out of window holes and ducking from one blockade to the next. You had a feeling Chris had commandeered his team, naturally slipping into a leadership role. They seemed to hunt and shoot in a coordinated effort, often ambushing and sneaking up from all sides. Something felt off about them however, they seemed restrained, pulling away frequently when there was still plenty of opportunity. Sometimes you noticed, they seemed to get bored of shooting a member of your team.
Chris had removed his beanie as he walked into the arena, carefully tucking it into his belt for safekeeping, and the last thing you saw of him was the fuzzy curls of his hair. He’d assured you he’d keep his mask on, and now that you think about it, you were quite positive this had only contributed to his team easily following his orders. What kind of person wouldn’t follow the directions of a mysterious, good-looking man who spoke with an eased authority?
You winced as your suit lights flashed after a laser gun sound effect played from over by your right. Someone had found you. You leapt through the window above you and disappeared on the other side of the wall, taking shelter for a second. When the sound died, you took the opportunity to push yourself up and scamper away, looking for a better spot to recuperate and maybe counterattack.
“Chris!” you froze at the calling, trying to listen again over the sound of guns firing and the music playing in the background, “Oi! Chris! She’s over here!”
Oh shit.
You took off at a sprint, heart thumping wildly in your chest, gun abandoned at your waist. You ducked around a wall, leapt over another, and found yourself standing, breathing heavily, backed into a carefully chosen corner. There were no windows on either side of you, and the wall was far too high for anyone to jump over. You admit, it wasn’t the best choice in regard to an escape route, you were literally cornered. However, you could never outrun Chris, so you figured the best option was to bunker down and hide for a while.
Suddenly, all firing completely ceased. You weren’t sure what your teammates were doing, or what Chris’ team was doing for this matter. You didn’t know this of course, but Chris had managed to parkour his way to the top of the wall you were currently cowering behind. His teammates were watching eagerly from below, on the other side of the wall, trying to stifle their chuckles. No wonder all the shooting had stopped. How was your team supposed to shoot the opposite team if they were all stalking you?
Chris watched you for a second, his eyes gleaming in the darkness, then swivelled around from his perched position to offer his team a salute. In a fluid motion, he jumped off the wall backwards, landing right in front of you. Your scream made his team collapse into raucous laughter, and for a second there, they could have been Chris’ Kids.
“Jesus fuck how did you even-” you’re cut off by Chris pulling down his mask, trapping you up against the wall, and kissing you softly. He backs away after a second, whispering, “You’ve lost this one babe,” and with an infuriating raise of his hand, shoots you, your lights going off again in the location where most points are gained.
Before you can even process, let alone say anything in response, Chris disappears behind the wall to return to his team, and you can hear him yell, “Mission accomplished guys, the floor is all yours, thanks for your help.” “Our pleasure!” “Too easy.” “All good bro.”
You beeline along the path ahead of you, rocketing away from Chris’ team members that have dashed around the wall, eager to attack. You almost collide with one of your own team members, who sees the flock of people chasing you and runs alongside you.
“WHY ARE THEY ALL CHASING YOU?!” she yells, ducking around a corner to try and get some shots in. “My devil of a boyfriend,” you spit, joining her and helping to make the group scatter.
You were right. They were holding back earlier. If there was any hope that your team was out on top, that was most certainly not the case by the end. Even with you trying to organise your team once you eventually found each other, Chris’ yelled commands and his team’s speed, stealth and ferocity was unmatched. His encouragement and cheers of celebration could be heard literally everywhere you went, and his team caught on. Their motivational yells and cheers worked wonders on boosting their team.
By the time the siren blasted over the speakers, and the white lights flashed on, immediately blinding, you were a sweaty, huffing mess. You meandered your way over to the exit, following the stream of people jostling each other to snag some cold water first. Chris bounded up to you out of nowhere, slinging an arm around your shoulders and unnecessarily leaning on you. You almost buckle under his weight, exhausted to the core.
“How was that, hey?” he laughs, shaking you slightly in his adrenalin-rushed state. You simply groan in response and amble your way over to the scoring board on the TV. He already has his beanie back on his head, although a few of his curls are sticking out haphazardly.
Naturally, Chris’ team hurtles towards the pair of you, having already discovered that they won. Chris remains attached to you but offers a round of enthused high fives, congratulating them and praising their teamwork.
“You should join an official team,” someone grinned at him, to which Chris only laughed in response, shaking his head. “I don’t live around here, I’m only here to visit my girl,” Chris tugs you closer, and you smile sheepishly, hesitant to interact when Chris is potentially seconds away from being discovered.
“Surely your number then. Hit me up when you’re here and we can play another game?” he asks, tilting his head imploringly. Chris’ eyes widen and you tense at the question, unsure about how he’s going to handle this.
“I can’t do that, I’m sorry,” he replies simply, trying to convey his sincerity through his eyes. A girl from Chris’ team wanders over, casually eyeing Chris from head to toe now that they were out in visibility again, “What about me? Up for trades?” she asks, her eyes wide and innocent.
Chris shakes his head again, and you tug his hoodie in a warning. It was time you wrapped this up and left. “What are you a celebrity or something? Why are you hiding your face?” the girl asked, squinting at Chris, as though trying to see underneath his mask.
“What if I was?” Chris nonchalantly replies, and at this you take a fistful of his hoodie and make to drag him away, mind spinning, heart stuck somewhere in your throat. “I’d try harder for your number!” she states, eyes boring into your own.
“Not a chance, I’m very much taken,” Chris pulls you into a tight embrace, burying your terrified face into his chest. You wrap your arms tightly around him, worried about the words that are going to tumble out of his mouth. “I’m not allowed to give my number out to anyone, company rules,” he murmurs, and at this you crane your neck to stare at him. (A/N: I do not know if this is actually true, just pretend it is T-T.)
Two things he said there were horribly wrong. One, he basically just admitted that he was in fact a celebrity, two… “You gave me your number though,” you point out, frowning. He glances down at you and pulls your head back into a hug. “I broke the rules for you.”
Immediately, you stop breathing at his words, cheeks blossoming a lovely shade of pink, and you mumble into his chest, “Is that why… you fought with…” “How’d you find out about that?” he interjects sharply. It seems you two have almost completely forgotten about the other two people standing in silence, watching you.
“Suhee… Suhee told me…” you answer after a moment’s hesitation. Chris only sighs and brings a hand up to caress the side of your face, “Everything’s fine now though yeah? Don’t even think about it.”
“So… is Chris even your real name?” the bloke asks, startling the pair of you out of your bubble. “Of course not,” Chris replies, then with a slight tip of his head as a goodbye, he grabs your hand and walks you out of the building. Not before you manage to hear the man and woman talking to each other, “Google him.” “How? We don’t even have his name.” “Take a picture quickly.” “’Ness that’s not right. We’re not going to do that.”
You silently thank the man, and mentally spit on ‘Ness, but speed up your pace regardless, hoping to get out of sight and out of mind.
--
You’re back on the train again, headed closer to home where you can stake out your favourite restaurant for a bite out to eat. It’s your favourite mostly because of the semi-private booths they provide, and if Chris sits up against the wall, he’s hidden relatively well. Chris heaves a deep sigh and wriggles out of your snuggle, whining about being hot and stripping himself of his hoodie.
“I’m sweating more than I did in laser tag,” he complains, folding it neatly and placing it on his lap, then snuggling back up to you. Carefully, you ease the hoodie out of his lap with a cheeky grin on your face, aware of Chris’ eyes watching your every movement.
“I’ll hold it for you,” you comment, sticking your tongue out when he rolls his eyes knowingly, “You’ll hold it, or you’ll permanently borrow it?” You hug it tightly, playing with the fabric between your fingers, then bring it up to your face to inhale its scent.
You’d never have been able to guess his perfume’s ingredients if he hadn’t read it out to you one day to satisfy your curiosity: notes of spicy pink pepper and creamy ylang-ylang (that’s a tropical tree originating from the Philippines btw), combined with fierce musk and a sensuous vanilla base. That scent alone is enough to make your heart swell, a sense of safety and security washing over you with each breath.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Chris puzzles, “Why are you smelling my hoodie like it’s cocaine?” You pull your nose away from his hoodie to calmly respond, “Because this is my cocaine you dumb twat.”
Chris laughs and rests his head on your shoulder, looking up at you through his eyelashes, “I know mate, I just wanted to hear you say it.” “That your scent is my cocaine?” you grimace, neatly placing the hoodie onto your lap. “Okay well not that specifically,” he pouts, “just that my scent drives you insane.”
“You are a strange man,” you tut, resting your head on top of his, wishing more than anything in the world at that moment that you could remove his beanie so you could feel his soft curls. “You seem to like this strange man, so I think you’re stranger.”
--
Finally, you’re sitting opposite Chris, slurping happily away on your cookies and cream smoothie while Chris takes generous sips from his pineapple juice. You’re sitting in your favourite spot waiting patiently for your food to arrive. Chris locks his phone and places it face down on the table, turning his attention to you with crinkled eyes. He’s wearing his hoodie again, much to your disappointment, so he can use his hood to hide behind instead of his beanie, giving his hair some room to breathe. Your eyes roam the curls, savouring the peaceful silence as you stare at each other.
Eventually, Chris begins to chat away, and you reciprocate his enthusiasm, laughing and giggling at the stories he tells you about Skz, adding your own input when his words remind you of something, and even as you eat, you continue to rally stories and questions back and forth at each other. “Bailey’s coming in for day care tomorrow.” “Is he? The one that looks like Berry?!” “Mhm!” “Can he stay with me upstairs?” “Uhm… I don’t see why not…”
You glance down at your plate and realise there’s only one mouthful left and blink in surprise. Chris had finished his meal a couple of minutes ago and was leaning back into the booth leisurely. You shovel it into your mouth and scoot out of your seat to pay for the food before he can, but he leans over and snatches at your arm, frowning at you.
“We’ve talked about this a million times before jagiya,” he clarifies, his eyes narrowed, “you’re not allowed to pay.”
You raise your eyebrows at him and yank your arm out of his grip, “Then you should have beaten me to it.”
You scamper away swiftly as Chris lunges for you again, sending a jolt through your heart as he scrambles up to chase you. “Yah! Dol-awa!” (Come back here!) he yells, but you don’t really need to. He’s already hooked an arm around your waist and trapped you between his arms, your wriggling and laughter doing nothing against his strong grip.
“Okay okay okay. I won’t pay. You can let me go,” you fuss, scrabbling at his hands, but he sighs and hugs you tighter. “Never. Will never let you go,” he mumbles, kissing the back of your head affectionately.
You’re not aware of this, but his hood has fallen down in his scramble to stop you, and without his mask since he was eating, he’s completely and utterly exposed. The lady at the counter looks up to sus out what the commotion is about, and her eyes immediately widen at the sight of Chris’ head perched lovingly on top of yours.
“Bang Chan?” she gasps, the delirious excitement evident in her awestruck expression. Your heart plummets into the ground as Chris stiffens around you. “Hi! Oh my gosh, please can we take a picture together?” she hurries around the desk, swiftly pulling her phone out, and Chris instinctively drags you protectively behind him, hiding your face.
“Ah- ah no. No sorry, no photos today,” he rushes, arranging his hood that you’ve haphazardly tugged onto his head again. The lady pauses and seems to remember you’re there, her phone dropping to her side. She points at you with a curious tilt of her head, “Is she…?”
You cringe and step away from Chris, walking with your hair curtaining your face back towards your restaurant booth. You’re dimly aware of the rest of the restaurant guests peeking over the top of their booths and leaning over to get a better view. “Is there someone famous here?” “Who’s she asking for a photo?” “Bang Chan, she said Bang Chan.” “BANG CHAN?!” “Who’s he with?” “Who’s she? His girlfriend?” “No way is Bang Chan dating someone.” “Eva’s going to be so mad.” “I wonder how Stays are going to handle this.” “Come on, we have to get a photo.”
Chris swivels around and follows you back to the booth, smiling sheepishly and pulling his hood even further over his head. “Babe let’s go,” he whispers, but the neighbouring table hears his muted words, and the whole restaurant is chattering again. “They’re dating. He called her babe.” “Did you get a good look at her? Is she even pretty?” “She’s kind of average.”
Chris flinches, his eyes downcast as he realises his mistake, but you offer him a small smile of encouragement and gather your things. Chris thinks for a second, his hands fiddling, then pulls his hoodie off himself and yanks it over your head. He whisks his beanie off the table, tugs it onto your head and hands you his mask from his pocket. You blink at him, but put it on regardless, finishing off the disguise by pulling the hood up over your head. He seems to care more about your coverage than his own. “There’s no way they aren’t dating.” “I think he settled.” “What does she have that I don’t?”
You can see Chris’ jaw clench, the offhand comments beginning to annoy him, so you shake your head at him and nod towards the exit. He grabs your hand, making your heart thump wildly in fear – he’s really not doing anything to help ease the rumours. “Chan who is she?” “Do you even like her?” Chris pauses, and you try to tug him onwards, pleadingly.
“She’s the love of my life and that’s that,” he snaps, the break from his usual polite stature towards fans causing the restaurant to fall silent. You gulp and hiss at him, his name falling from your mouth in a panicked urgency. Half of the people in here probably didn’t even know who he was; just crazed at the experience of being in the proximity of a celebrity.
“He’s not even that good-looking, you sure he’s famous?” you hear someone whisper, and your head turns towards the voice, an unknown flame sparking, “He’s probably only famous because his father’s rich or something. That’s how it is these days, isn’t it?” they continue, and you stalk over to them, causing Chris to stare at you in surprise, too busy glaring at the restaurant guests to hear the comments about himself.
You slam your palm onto their table, causing the two girls to jump in surprise. “You say anything else about him and I will skewer you,” you lean over and snatch her fork from her plate, “with your own fucking fork.” “Bold words from a girl cowering in her boyfriend’s clothes,” the other girl smirks, folding her arms challengingly.
“At least I have a boyfriend,” you seethe, hand clenching around the fork. “Nice try bitch, I have one too.” “Not after my famous boyfriend with a rich father sends an assassin after him.”
Her eyes widen at that, and you lazily throw the fork back onto the table. “His name’s Bang Chan, as I’m sure you’ve heard, why don’t you google him on the phone you’ve been taking pictures of us with-”
Chris swoops in out of nowhere before you can finish your sentence, grabbing you by the waist again to lead you away. When you try to free yourself, blood boiling and not finished with your fight, he bends down and hoists you over his shoulders, walking you out of the restaurant while you yell in fury. After a while, he puts you back down, commands you to stay put while he returns to pay for the meal, and you begin to regret your actions. Chris seemed eerily nonchalant, and you knew you crossed a line by confronting those two girls. You probably made things more difficult actually, and you cringed as you pictured the next headline.
‘K-pop idol Bang Chan of Stray Kids allegedly dating a psychotic woman who threatened restaurant guests”
You’re so busy letting your thoughts eat away at your mind that you don’t even realise Chris is standing in front of you again. “C’mon, let’s go home,” he sighs, his hands tucked into his shorts pockets. “I messed up didn’t I?” you mumble, not daring to look him in the eye.
“I did too. It’s okay. I’ll sort it out with JYP later,” his eyes briefly skim over the sign above your head, and he disappears inside the store he left you in front of. After a minute, he returns with a packet of skittles for you. “Just forget about it for now okay? I’ll figure it out when I get back to Korea. And who knows… maybe everyone in there has a conscience and won’t even consider posting anything.” You snort and tear open the packet of skittles, craving the sour lollies all of a sudden, “That’s being overly optimistic.”
Chris laughs and begins to follow the route back to your café, you trailing behind him sadly, shoving skittles in your mouth with the mask pulled down to your chin. You frown at Chris’ back and the realisation hits you. He’s likely going to fight with JYP again. He’s likely going to be given a choice between you or his career. You can tell from his deflated posture as he walks ahead of you that he’s thinking the same thing.
You can feel that dreadful sting in the corners of your eyes intensifying, and reflexively, you close the distance between you two, snagging him in a back hug. You deliriously rub your face into his shirt, trying to stop yourself from crying, and he arches his back in response with a little gasp, “That tickles.”
“I’m sorry Chris. I’m so so sorry.” “None of this is your fault. I wasn’t careful enough.” “You’re always careful. I saw that the restaurant was kind of full today, I shouldn’t have suggested it. I’m the one who’s not careful” “That’s enough. I said forget it.” Chris squirms around and pulls you into a proper hug, sighing into the top of your head, “Don’t you worry… about a thing… it’s going to be okay, yeah?” he inflects the statement into a question, and you think he’s trying to reassure himself more than you.
You won’t let him choose. You’re not going to let him pick between his career or you. That’s not happening. He shouldn’t have to do that. You clench your teeth and bite back the tears, willing them to stay trapped in your eyes. You’ve made your decision. You pull away from him, eyes glistening with an unmatched determination.
Chris’ face darkens at the sight, and he cups your face in his hands desperately, reading every single line of your set expression correctly. “No. I know what you’re thinking, and I’m telling you now – do not, under any fucking circumstance, think it.”
You remain silent, drowning yourself in his desperate eyes, lips frozen in a thin line. “Y/N no. Don’t.” “Want some skittles, Chris?” you nonchalantly ask, tearing your eyes away from him to stare into the contents of the bag still in your hands.
“No. No I don’t want skittles. I need you to fucking understand-” “I understand,” you interject, eyes flickering back up to him, but you figure your emotions aren’t controlled enough, and you can see the panic rise in his beautiful irises. “No you fucking don’t. I can see you fucking don’t. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll sort it out, I promise,” he insists, clutching your face just that little bit tighter. “I know you will. Now do you want some skittles or not?”
Chris glares at you, then pulls you into another rough hug, squeezing the air out of your lungs. You wish he wouldn’t. He’s making it so much harder for you to keep back the dam of tears threatening to overflow. “This- this here, in my arms right now, is my entire world. I’m not going to let anyone take that from me,” he whispers, and your heart crumbles to pieces.
Would he let you take it from him?
“Please eat some skittles. Sugar makes you feel better. Just don’t eat all of them okay?” you mumble into his shirt, and he pulls away, bitterly laughing, “Alright, give me those damn skittles.” You pass them over to him, smiling brightly. When he grins back at you, it’s like everything has fallen back into place, none of that just happened, it’s just the two of you again, the world fading into blurry insignificance around you.
You’ll miss him.
--
For now though, you’re going to spend as much time with him as possible. You’re contemplating the situation as you sit on your bed, Chris calling out to you from the other side of the bedroom door. “Quit being mean~ let me in.” (A/N: What happened to "spending as much time with him as possible, hm?)
You’ve been checking the internet consistently, anxiously waiting for the news of your relationship with him to be leaked. Nothing was up so far. If something does happen, then Chris will naturally fly back to Korea as originally scheduled in a few days and immediately try to sort things out with JYP. It might work out well, it might not. You know however, that if he’s ever forced to pick between his career and you, you’re not going to let him choose you. “Jagiyaaaa… baby I miss you… let me in please?”
You sigh and flop back onto your bed just as your phone pings with a notification. Your heart stops – this is it… dispatch have found out surely. The relief that floods through your veins resolves into amusement when you realise the notifications are from Chris. He’s spamming you.
(A/N: When dialogue is in script format, it's meant to represent text messages.)
Chris: “baby I’m sorry” Chris: “please let me in baby” Chris: “muffin?” Chris: “sweet pea?” Chris: “the love of my life” Chris: “beautiful cinnamon roll who’s too pure for this world”
You grin at the new endearments emerging, feeling your insides go all soft and squishy at his antics. After a moment of thought, you message him back.
You: “Sorry doesn’t bring back my fucking skittles Christopher”
You pad over to the door as Chris yells in frustration, “I didn’t mean to. You offered them to me, and you were right. Sugar does make you feel better.” As soon as you unlock the door and swing it open, Chris’ face lights up with joy. He tackles you with a hug that makes you stumble back in surprise, and you desperately fight back your grin, opting for an annoyed expression. “Don’t lock me out again like that please. You need to be by my side at all times. 24/7. That was torture.”
You snort and carefully push him off you, wandering back to the bed, “We’re literally in a long-distance relationship, how am I supposed to be with you 24/7?” Chris waddles over to you, but you frown at him and point to the floor, “Nah-uh. You sit on the floor, I’m still mad at you.” He whines and pouts at you, his eyes as wide as saucers.
You know you’ll cave if he starts acting cute with you, so you pick up your phone and busy yourself with social media. Chris plonks himself down on the floor with a sigh, his legs splayed out wide in a V-shape, “I’ll buy you more skittles.” “I wanted those ones. They were special.”
“Since when? I’ll buy you as many special skittles as you want,” he huffs, folding his arms. Over the next few minutes, you do your best to ignore his whines of distress and needy sighs, his pet names and sugary chatter. You’ve been watching him out of the corner of your eye and decide to ignore the fact that he’s somehow moved a metre forward from where he originally was.
You yawn and stretch, putting your phone down to look at him properly for the first time in a while. Immediately, he stretches his arms wide and grasps rapidly at the air in front of him, asking quietly for cuddles, his legs bouncing in sync. Best leader. Five-year-old. Kangaroo. Mashed potato. You shake your head at him and give in, his adorable antics filling your heart too much. You crawl off the bed and settle into his outstretched arms, nestling your face into his neck. You place a delicate kiss there, and mumble against his skin, “If you ever, ever eat all my skittles again when I tell you not to, I will end you.”
Chris laughs and wraps his arms and legs securely around you. “You can end me whenever you want love. Just as long as it’s you doing it.” You pinch him lightly with an amused laugh, “You’re such a cheesy ass.” “Only for you~” he laughs, the vibrations from his throat rippling through you.
“Shut the fuck up, when are you going to stop saying that!” you yell, sitting up properly in his arms and trying to escape from his grip. “I’ll stop when I stop loving you. Which is never,” his grin could almost be described as sadistic as he tightens his grip on you, proving his point.
“Jesus Christ, oh my god you’re atrocious,” you grin, hiding your face with your hands in embarrassment. “Awh is my girl shy? There’s no need to hide baby, you’re adorable when you’re shy.” “Shut.” “Come on… there’s no need to hide your beautiful face,” he teases, pulling at your fingers to try and remove them.
“I said shut-” your words resolve into giggles as he begins to tickle you, your muscles tensing at his actions, “Chris- okay stop- no- hey! Stop-,” you plead, rolling around on the floor desperately. Chris places his hands on either side of your head, leaning over you, giving you time to breathe.
He shifts his weight to one of his arms and affectionately brushes your hair out of your face, “I meant what I said, yeah? I’m never going to stop loving you.” You smile and pull him down on top of you, whispering heartfelt sweet nothings into his hair.
You don’t think you ever will either. Which hurts.
--
It’s later on in the night and you’re typing away on your laptop, sitting cross-legged on the couch, sorting through a few financial reports and business requirements to finish up the night. Chris is also busy working, sitting by the TV with his back to the wall, his laptop charging.
“Are you sure you’re comfy down there?” you ask him swiftly, eyes refusing to leave your computer screen even when he glances up at you. “With the amount of blankets and pillows you’ve thrown at me to use, you’d think I’d be comfy enough,” he grins, shuffling around a little and arranging the pillow at his back.
“I just don’t think you should be sitting on the floor,” you roll your eyes, pausing briefly to stretch your fingers. “You made me sit on the floor before,” he teases, clicking his touch pad in quick succession.
“That’s different,” you grumble, arching your back and trying to fix your posture, “although I have to say, sometimes I think the floor is comfier,” you finish up the sentence you’re typing out, uncross your legs, and move to sit on the floor, your back resting comfortably up on the couch.
The minutes pass as you fall into silence again, the atmosphere humming with a productive energy. You were antsy earlier, fidgety, still waiting for an article, or a social media post, or anything that would begin the drastic snowball of catastrophic events. Instead of worrying Chris, you chose to occupy your mind with work. Chris picked up on your productive mood and sat down to work too, and it had been a little over 2 hours since then.
Neither of you moved from your positions, except to stretch and grab a glass of water or snack for one another. You had basically forgotten about the whole fiasco, so absorbed in your own work, that when a notification from a newsagent you’re subscribed to pops up on your screen, your heart initially leaps in excitement; your body already used to reacting this way in the hopes that it’s something to do with Stray Kids. Your mind clicks back into reality, and you stop breathing as you click on it with your mouse.
“Bang Chan of K-Pop group ‘Stray Kids’ rumoured to be dating”
The bold title leaps at you, and your eyes seem to be glued to it, rereading it over and over again. Eventually, you remember you need to breathe, and exhale as you scroll down the page. You lick your lips nervously as you skim the article and briefly assess the photos complimenting it. Overall, the both of you had done an exemplary job at keeping your face hidden. None of the photos showed more than your hair and eyes. It was so blatantly obvious that it was Chris in the photos though, which would make it hard to refute the idea that he was dating at all.
He so… clearly was. Although taken out of context, and in the incorrect sequence of events, every single picture that had Chris’ expression in it displayed genuine worry, or a fondness that couldn’t be mistaken. Fuck. You glance up at Chris, wondering if he’d seen the article yet, but he appears to be engrossed in his work, his headphones snug around his ears, biting his bottom lip in concentration.
You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a shuddering breath, trying to mentally prepare yourself for the following days, heck, the following weeks. Maybe even months. And now, the inexplicable urge to have Chris next to you overwhelms you. You might lose him soon, and you’re busy working away? He’s right there. Metres away, and he’s not snuggling with you? How pathetic.
“You’re too far away,” you grumble, staring pointedly at him and crossing your arms. Chris glances up and pulls his headphones off, “Sorry?” “Why’re you so farrrr?” you pout, mimicking the same grabby motions he had used earlier. You stare sadly in his silence, watching the corner of his mouth twitch, “The outlet is here, and you made it so comfy.”
Internally, you curse your kindness and sniff in disappointment, turning back to your work, “Fine then, be that way.” “Don’t be so dramatic,” Chris scoffs, putting his headphones back over his ears, but his grin has finally broken through.
Just as you knew he would, after a few more minutes of silence, but little work, Chris unplugs his computer and saunters over to you, plopping down next to you with a quiet grunt. You give him a little smirk, and a classic side eye, then go back to pretending to be completely absorbed in your report.
“Shut up,” he sighs, snuggling closer so your shoulders are touching. “I didn’t say anything,” you grin, cherishing his warmth, his presence. Now your productive mood has evaporated, the event you were trying to distract yourself from having already occurred.
You put in your best effort to write another paragraph but give up halfway through and end up staring blankly at the screen, mind trying to think over how best you convince Chris to let you go. A thought crosses your mind, and you consider it wholeheartedly, directing your brain power into imagining the past two years without Chris in your life.
What if you had never accepted his request to film Skz-Code in your café? What if you had ghosted him when he messaged you? What if you hadn’t noticed him, standing on that bridge? What if you were too occupied with James? What if… no… he’d be dead.
The thought remains in the forefront of your mind, and without your knowledge, tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. Somehow, a part of you knew that you were meant to see him then. You couldn’t explain that searing pain or voice in your head, and you weren’t about to try and figure it out now. Chris has been watching you for a while now, his head turned slightly, eyes flickering from your stock-still hands to the misery in your expression.
He reaches across and gently wipes one of your tears away, making you flinch in surprise. Truthfully, he was quite comfy where he was by the outlet. He wasn’t planning on moving to sit next to you, knowing full well that he’d lose all sense of productivity by snuggling up to you. That all changed when his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a message in the group chat consisting of only Stray Kids. Hyunjin had sent the article, and he didn’t need to click on it to know what it was about.
Hyunjin: “Chan? You know about this right?” Chris: “yeah”
Hyunjin: “what’re you going to do?”
Felix: “is Y/N okay?” Felix: “you haven’t broken up yet have you?”
His heart throbbed at the thought, and he swiftly typed out a response, trying to quell the onslaught of questions and comments of concern from them all.
Chris: “I’ll sort it out” Chris: “I’m not breaking up with her”
It clicked in his head then, why you were complaining about him being so far away, when you’d been working like this for the past 2 and a half hours perfectly fine.
“I told you to not think about that under any circumstance,” he whispers, watching as you hastily wipe your tears away. His mind is already working overtime, conjuring a risky plan. “I’m not- I wasn’t… I- did you see the article?” you murmur, trying to organise your thoughts.
“Mhm… and I’m about to do something about it,” he takes a deep breath in, closes up his production software and opens up YouTube, “You trust me, yeah?”
Your eyes widen as he begins to set up a live, and you grab his arm to stop him, “Chris you can’t. What will JYP say?” “I don’t give a damn about what he’ll say,” he scoffs, briefly checking what episode number of Chan’s Room he’s up to. It’s only Saturday, but you figure it doesn’t matter now. (A/N: Sit with it. I know Chan's Room is on hiatus shush, no need to remind me.)
“You better give a damn Christopher because your entire career is on the line right now,” you snap back, and a fizzle of fear simmers through you as Chris’ eyes flutter closed and his jaw clenches. “Do you… trust me…?” he asks again, opening his eyes to stare at you, unblinking. You gulp and slowly nod. “Pull up ‘Insomnia’ for me then babe.”
You have such a bad feeling about this.
--
You’re sitting in complete silence, trying to read the spam of comments on the side of his screen as Chris chats away happily, using his phone to play song requests and make recommendations of his own. The article was only recently released, but you can’t be sure of where else the photos have been leaked.
You’re about 20 minutes in when you spot the first comment asking about the photos. Chris either doesn’t see it, or intentionally ignores it, and continues asking for more song requests. 30 minutes in and the entire chat is swamped with questions about the same topic. You.
So far, Chris hasn’t spared you a glance once, knowing full well that his fans would ask about who he was looking at. This time however, he turns towards you, asking you a silent question, having finally reached the point of no return, his whole reasoning for starting the live finally occurring. You gulp and quietly nod again, leaning back to grab a pillow from the couch and tuck it protectively in front of you. Chris glances briefly back to the comments, searching for one he can work with.
“Ah! Where am I?” he pipes, looking around the room as though trying to figure that out himself, “I am… on a brief vacation…” he pauses to read the comments again, engaging with the audience professionally.
“No no, not in a hotel- I mean… um…” he sighs and rubs his face, and suddenly you don’t know how you feel about how easy it is for him to act, “I’m… um… I’m actually at my girlfriend’s house?” he grins sheepishly, a squeaky laugh escaping. The chat explodes with a new wave of comments.
“Yeah so you all saw the photos right? I was um… a little sad to see them, because Stays have always been… you know, respectful. But yeah, I am dating her.” If the comments were projected in actual voices, your head would have combusted. There are so many, and majority of them are in capitals, and you’re struggling to comprehend even only a single one.
Chris, used to this, reads one out loud for the benefit of his viewers. “Is she with me? Yeah, well yeah, I am um… in her house,” he laughs, adjusting the computer a little on his lap, “You want to meet her? Ooh I don’t know, I think we’d have to ask her.”
He looks at you, his eyes wide, and you smile in encouragement, but internally you’re a panicked disaster. “Oh-kay, hang on guys,” Chris announces, sitting up so he can push his computer further away along the floor. When he returns to your side, you’re now visible in the screen, eyes paralysed with fear, half hiding behind a couch pillow.
Chris props his elbow up on the couch, resting his head on his hand, the other resting comfortably on your thigh, squeezing it in encouragement. You wave shyly at the camera, offer a small smile, and try to burrow yourself further into the pillow. “Jagi… it’s okay, you don’t have to read the comments, Stay just wants to meet you.”
You take a deep breath, briefly glance at Chris, who’s smiling comfortingly, and slowly lower the pillow. “Hi Stay. Do I need to tell them my name?” you inquisitively ask, and Chris shakes his head, “Only if you want to.”
You consider it, then decide not to, “Yeah. Hi. I am… Bang Chan’s girlfriend. I promise I’m looking after him, don’t worry.” Chris’ grin widens, and he reaches over to pull you into his arms. You wriggle to get comfortable, trying to think of what to say.
“Uh… like Chan said earlier, he is… at my house- how in the world do you do this every single week? I can’t think of anything to say,” you start, turning to look at Chris. He smiles and pecks your forehead, causing you to jerk back in surprise. “It takes a while to get the hang of it,” his eyes briefly flicker down to your lips, and you scramble out from his hold and onto the couch behind him.
“I think I need the comments to rebound off, but I also… don’t want to read them,” you stammer. Chris is grinning cheekily at the computer screen, and his hands reach up behind him, using the camera to locate you, and tugs your legs around his shoulders, so his head is now in between your knees.
“You see what I have to deal with Stay?” you chide, trying to extricate yourself from him, embarrassed at how intimate he’s being on live. “But I’ve never seen you this nervous before, it’s so cute,” he laughs. You grab the nearest couch cushion and whack him on the head with it, making him laugh even harder.
“Okay, okay. I’ll read the comments for you,” Chris gasps, crawling towards the computer to lay on his stomach. “How did we meet? Oi babe, do you wanna explain this?” he asks, twisting to look back at you slightly, his eyebrow raised.
“Oh um, I don’t know. You were at my café?” you shrug. “You make it sound so unromantic,” he grimaces, turning back to the computer screen. “Well it wasn’t really,” you frown, hopping off the couch to lie down beside him.
“Okay, I’ll tell them how we met then,” he grins, and you stare at him, wondering what kind of fabricated story he’s going to garble now. There’s no way he’s going to mention how he almost launched himself off a bridge and you stopped him. “She saw me outside her café and I looked a little lost, so she asked if I needed help and she was so respectful and nice, offered me a croissant and drink for the road, and I was down bad.”
You roll your eyes at him and place your chin in your hands to read some comments. Surprisingly, there were more positive comments than negative, although the negative ones still made your stomach churn. Perhaps that one edit was right, Stay’s wouldn’t care if the Skz-Members started dating, they’d just be happy the members were getting bitches at all.
For a while, the pair of you take turns rebounding stories of your relationship, switching positions to the couch, to the floor to standing up and stretching frequently. Chris occasionally transitions into Korean, catering for his target audience’s needs, but he still translates for you, chuckling about how he should speak it more often at home so you can learn some too.
You’re asked how well you know the Stray Kids members, and a whole bunch of other questions that you ignore. You do your best to ignore the negative comments too, but they’re starting to get to you a little, and at some point the negative comments definitely outweigh the positive.
Chris pauses in the middle of trying to explain the context for the photos taken today, his eyes caught on a particular comment. He pushes himself up and reaches for the computer, scrolling back through the chat to locate it. As soon as he finds it, his expression goes resolute, and a little gasp escapes your mouth.
Go kill yourself.
You know with your whole heart that it’s directed towards you, but it doesn’t bother you as much as it should. Instead, the phrase stirs memories in your mind, positive you’ve heard it before. And of course you have, in your mind, the first time you saw Chris. You turn to try and read his expression, but it’s gone blank, his eyes void of emotion. “Chan,” he doesn’t move at all, his eyes still locked on the comment, “Chris. Baby.”
You nudge him slightly, but it’s like his soul has completely left his body. He’s not even here anymore. “Jagi. Babe. Channie,” you wriggle closer to him and whisper in his ear, “Christopher.”
He inhales sharply and turns to you, eyes foggy with confusion. “Are you okay?” you quietly ask him, reaching over to rub his back comfortingly. “Are you? We can stop if you want,” he pushes himself up into a seated position and crawls over to lean back on the couch. You follow, snuggling up to him, a dawning realisation emerging from the depths of who knows where, “I’m fine.”
It should have been obvious. It should have been painfully obvious. That voice was him right. On that day. He had seen a comment just like this one in a live. And that’s what he was doing on that bridge. Chris falls silent for the rest of the live, and you try your best to talk your way through it, drawing the computer closer to you after a while so you don’t have to lean forward to read the comments.
You yawn and check the time via the clock on the wall. It’s almost 12am. You peek at Chris, trying to signify that he should probably end the live, but his eyes are drifting shut, and his breathing has grown heavy. “Yeah so… thank you Stays, for giving me the opportunity to meet you all.”
Chris’ head suddenly droops onto your shoulder, and you glance at him again, a small smile forming on your face, before you return to address the live.
“I hope… I hope you’ll all be supportive… of Chris and I… he means the world to me… and that might not mean much to you, because he definitely means the world to a lot of you as well,” you find yourself stroking the curls off his forehead, and in his semi-conscious state, he snuggles even closer, his lips forming words that are only just barely audible, “I love you.”
You turn back to the live, eyes wide in disbelief, wondering if he was loud enough for the live. Clearly he was, the chat has fallen apart again. You chuckle and kiss his head gently, “I love you too Chris.”
--
Later on, he wakes to a stiffness in his neck and back, his head still resting on your shoulder. He winces and sits up, eyeing your sleeping posture with your head resting up against the couch, his computer sitting in your lap.
“You should have woken me up…” he mumbles quietly, knowing full well that you could not hear a word, “I love you jagi… more than you know…” Chris sighs and shuffles over to you, sliding his laptop onto the floor. Carefully, he tucks a gentle hand around the back of your neck, supporting your head, the other in the crook of your knees. As quietly as he can, he hoists you up into his arms and steadily walks over to your bedroom.
He stumbles a bit as he tries to lay you down, and you stir slightly. Eventually, he manages to pull the covers over you, and he tucks you in neatly. You groan and mumble something incoherent, and he waits with bated breath, wondering if you’re going to wake up.
“I… could beat the shit out of you…” you murmur, and Chris allows himself a smile. He bends down and kisses you softly, his heart aching with all the words he wishes he could say, all the love he wishes he could give. “You absolutely could… and the insane thing is… I would let you…” he softly whispers, then leaves your side to turn off the lights around the apartment.
He scoops up your laptop and his, puts them both on charge in the office and then goes on the hunt for his phone. He finds it not too far away from where your laptops were abandoned, and as soon as he clicks the screen to check for notifications, his heart sinks into his stomach, settling uncomfortably there at the sight of the messages.
He chooses to open the group chat first, smiling slightly at their words of encouragement. They were watching the live earlier, and continuing to tease him even through messages, providing running commentary.
The latest messages, however, make him hate his career for a second. Only for a second.
Jeongin: “the managers are saying you need to come back” Jeongin: “now…” Jeongin: “I think they’ve booked a flight for you”
Chris sighs and opens up the message from one of his managers. Sure enough, there’s a passive-aggressive request for him to return to Korea, a flight ticket attached. He clicks it to check the time of departure, and seethes when he realises the flight is in 2 hours. Jeongin wasn’t kidding when he said ‘now’.
He takes a moment to compose himself, already trying to work through his argument in his head, and starts to gather his belongings, turning on the lights again. They’re strewn out everywhere; wallet on the bench, clothes folded on the couch, composing gear in the studio, paperwork in the office. He rubs his face vigorously in his hands as he tries to fit them all nicely into his suitcase and travel bags.
“Chris…?” you yawn, head peeking tiredly out of your room. His heart cracks as he looks up at your drowsy state, unsure about how he should tell you he had to leave. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry,” he sighs, standing up gingerly, his knees cracking, “try and go back to sleep, I’ll wake you up later.”
He gulps as you take in his gathered belongings, but your dazed expression doesn’t change. “You weren’t planning on leaving without saying goodbye were you?” you mumble, walking over with a stretch and hugging him with a squeeze. Chris’ breath catches in his throat, and he wraps his arms securely around you. If only he could freeze time.
“I’d never do that to you, I just didn’t mean to wake you,” he sighs, swaying the pair of you gently. “What time’s your flight?” you pull away from him with wide eyes, fully awake now. Chris’ jaw clenches, and he pulls out his phone to check the current time. “In one and a half hours.” “They couldn’t have given you more time?” you grimace, stepping away from him to pick up his possessions and start packing.
“Apparently not.” After a minute of watching your silent movements, he goes back to packing, heart simultaneously swelling and shattering. He knows you’re thrown off by his sudden departure, a few days earlier than scheduled. He can tell by the way you zone out frequently as you pass him his clothes. He can tell by the way you stare absently at his laptop. He can tell by your carefully controlled expression, displaying no sadness, but a forced strength.
Chris doesn’t have to take everything that belongs to him. He returns as often as he can, so by this point he has his own toiletries here, his own drawer of clothes, his favourite snacks and drinks in the kitchen. He just wishes he didn’t have to leave his favourite belonging. You.
After another 15 minutes, he’s fully packed and he’s sitting on the couch with you tucked safely in his arms, basking in your warmth, but a little terrified in the fragility of the silence. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” You nod, knowing ‘as soon’ could mean anything from two weeks to six months. “Don’t worry about anything okay? I promise… everything will be okay. JYP can’t do anything to my career, he needs me – and I’m going to use that as leverage.”
You nod again, mind on a completely different train of thought. “I’m not going to lose you, I swear. I’m never going to let you go.” He takes his words quite literally this time.
He almost missed his flight.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺
-> PART 6 -> Masterlist
A/N: Yay…? Milestone Event 5 Check…?
Feedback is always appreciated, negative and positive alike. I apologise for any editing errors, I’m forever learning.
Until next read… - Kaisowoo
#bang chan fluff#bang chan fanfic#bang chan angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan imagines#bang chan#christopher chan#christopher chan bang#stray kids#skz#stray kids fanfic#thiswasfunandpainfultowrite#stray kids x reader
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Pixie being a real stray kid
Alternatively called "Pixie running for 10 minutes straight"
Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura, @palindrome969
Scene 1: 2019 back stage skz talker ep 1
Cb: has anyone seen Pixie? (Changbin looks around the room)
Lk: Pixie-ah~ where are you? (He's holding chopsticks with food wrapped around for her to eat.
The two are looking around, turning into a minute montage of them just looking for her. It wasn't until they opened the door for the costumes that they found her conversing with one of the mannequins. The three lock eyes with each other, before they slowly close the door.
A few seconds later, she bursts through and chases the two, yelling at them
Scene 2: Pixie at the jingle ball
Chan is counting his members, before only counting 7. He starts to freak out, looking all over for the two missing members
While Felix is on stage with Ateez, she is hanging from the edge of the stage because her clothing got caught by a stray plank. She waves from where she was at Chan, her expression distorted but you could tell she was smiling.
Scene 3: Chan vs Pixie
You know that episode where they're in the Waterpark and they have to catch each other? Yeah.
Chan is running from Pixie, screaming for his life as she is quickly gaining on him. And he is running full speed.
She ends up tackling him into the pool, him surfacing and breathing heavily from the scene that would be played in his nightmares
Scene 4: Solo vlog
Px: Annyeong~ (she does a little finger heart) today, we will be meeting up with some friends
She starts to walk around Seoul, before crouching down low a few minutes into it
Yeji: and so I told her- (she screams when a body comes a tackles her, and it's just Pixie)
Scene 5: When she live streamed her playing fnaf 3
Px: (crying) Please Freddy, I just want to see my family again- (she screams when she gets jumpscared, falling off screen after she tips her chair.)
Scene 6: Her at ISAC
She had won the relay race for her group. She is seen jumping up and down for joy, and to get more energy out, she does a series of flips and cartwheels
Scene 7: How did she get up there
When they were at that theme park and they were pitted against each other, her mission was to get to places where they couldn't reach her.
They got to the end, but they still couldn't find Pixie.
Fx: Seriously, where is she?
They stopped when they heard a shout. They looked up and found her at the top of one of the sculptures, which just so happened to be at least 20 feet above the ground. She was waving happily, before realizing she had no way to get down
Scene 8: Her leaving the airport
The live stream was already going for 20 minutes at this point
A woman wearing copious amounts of layers walks out and it took them about several minutes to realize it was Pixie.
As the crowd gained on her, she booked it. The crowd ran after her, bit she was still pretty fast even with the amounts of clothing she was wearing.
#skz#bang chan#changbin#writing#han jisung#hyunjin#lee know#skz imagines#jeongin#lee felix#skzkaifei#seungmin#stray kids#skz 9th member#skz female member#skz female addition#skz female oc#skz oc#stray kids female member#stray kids female oc
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Recommended Misc Fics of February - March 2023💖
hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen & straykids for february - march! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝
** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **
🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite
FAKE DATING
Again and Again || @lovelyhan🔞💕💔✅
↳ your mother calls one day, asking if you’re bringing mingyu along for chuseok this year. in your panic, you end up giving her an affirmative—never mind the fact that you and mingyu have stopped seeing each other over half a year ago.
OTHER AU
Anonymously Yours || @joonsytip 💕💔✅💯💯💯
↳ After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. (not gonna lie, i cried a lil while reading this at work. i love it)
Distraction || @that-one-hyunjin-stan🔞✅
↳ Wonwoo knew he was supposed to be focused on teaching you how to play the game. However, you just looked too tempting.
Gym Rat || @onlyhuis🔞✅
↳ (theres no summary that i could find, but gym + smut)
Let Me Try Again || @papermatisse💕💔✅
↳ Soonyoung had never wanted to live a restrained capitalistic life, forced to work a tiresome 9 to 5, paying taxes until the day he dies. Though in exchange to pursue the other option, that being devotion to a career, he had to pay an unfathomably large price—he had to abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved. can he fit himself back into his former life? one that's changed more than he can possibly imagine? could the ones he loved forgive him for his wrongdoings? could he get the second chance he wants so desperately?
My Pillow || @alohajun💕✅
↳ (theres no summary that i could find, but this is cute)
Silky || @playmetheclassics🔞💕✅
↳ Your boyfriend got his hair permed and wants to know if it still feels as soft when you tug on his hair, mainly when he’s laid between your thighs.
The Racer and His Girl || @lovelycheollie💕✅
↳ “He held her close enough to kiss, close enough to whisper the most important secrets in the world, and he spoke to her as he would have wanted some good angel to speak to his family, to his own shivering young soul, long ago and in a land far away.”
Thirst Trap || @lovelyhan🔞💕✅
↳ when your boyfriend posts a deliberate thirst trap for millions to see. you end up feeling just a little bit sulky (oh sweet mother lord)
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
Little Secret || @haosvteen💕💔✅💯
↳ joshua’s life was as ordinary as can be expected for an idol. that is until a girl drops her hat and he texts her only to discover she’s a fan…and he’s her bias. he likes talking to someone who doesn’t know he’s an idol, but he needs to keep it that way. she can’t find out he is actually joshua hong from seventeen.
Play Along || @wonunuu💕💔✅💯💯💯
↳ you receive a text from a guy meant for the woman he once loved, unaware of the fact that she is already long gone. you decide to play along because well, you're bored.
Retrouvailles || @wonunuu💕💔✅💯💯💯
↳ happiness? are reunions always happy though? when you are reunited with someone you want to see the least, does it make you happy?
OTHER AU
Days Of Candy || @hwan-g🔞✅
↳ a lot of things happened in motel rooms, even more happened between him and girls like you, girls that ride on his bike and have him by the balls.
Route 66 || @hwan-g🔞✅
↳ you should’ve known, the moment you’d enter route 66, you’d be his. chan isn’t a generous man-he doesn’t share well.
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter || @straylightdream🔞💕💔🔄💯
↳ a series of connecting college au stories with different members of skz. They can be read in the order below listed but you don’t have to read each on to understand the story.
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
Friends Without Desire || @skzhua💕💔✅
↳ “i like you so much, i want to give you my everything, only for you…”
SOULMATE AU
Midnight Diner || @hwan-g🔞💔✅
↳ he’s seen a lot of shit in his line of work. but this-he couldn’t let this go. not when you were involved.
Do check out all of the other Group Fics that i have reblogged as well!!
** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#seventeen angst#seventeen social media au#seventeen established relationship au#seventeen fake dating au#seventeen fic recs#seventeen recs#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids smut#stray kids angst#stray kids social media au#stray kids fic recs#stray kids recs
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hi kathy! I'm here for the music asks 💌
I would like to know 4, 11, 15, 21, 29, 30 ♡⸝⸝
hi babe!! i'm sorry this took so long to answer i thought about every question METICULOUSLY this was so important to me 😭😭😭
4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents
Più che puoi — Eros Ramazzotti, Cher; i remember listening to that song all the time when i was little, my mom used to love it SOO much, it evokes such nostalgia 😭😭
Careless Whisper — George Michael; mom's obsessed with that song and i can't blame her tbh
Группа крови — Kino; a very old system-critisizing russian song my dad loves to this day LMAO, his and my music taste are vastly different so that's the only song we actually both like and listen to jfjejd
11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack
Mystery of Love — Sufjan Stevens
Step Up — Samantha Jade; fav movie fav soundtrack 😍
so unserious but the riff-off in pitch perfect 1, yes i'm counting that as a song idc i love it 😭
15. three songs you want to dance with your love to
U Must Be — Gina Rene; step up again but i love this song SOOO much and the scene in the movie is my fav ever if i ever danced with the loml (hyunjin) to this i would die
Falling In Love — Cigarettes after Sex
Angel Baby — Troye Sivan
21. three songs of your childhood
these are gonna be so so SO random 😭😭
Vom selben Stern — Ich + Ich
Salut — Joe Dassin
Danza Kuduro — Dom Omar, Lucenzo 😭😭😭
29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)
Life of the Party — Shawn Mendes; so cheesy but that song turned my life upside down for me omg, made me view music differently and firstly made me a fangirl 🤞
Amnesia — 5 Seconds of Summer; can't explain how often i cried to this song and how fucking insane it was to see it live, changed my entire life fr
God's Menu — Stray Kids; got me into kpop/ skz and my life has never been the same ever since 🗣🗣🗣 i have that song to thank for bringing me hyunjin, forever grateful 🙏🙏🙏
30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)
Blind — PRETTYMUCH
urs — NIKI
Heaven Angel — THE DRIVER ERA
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just saying | lee felix
☆ part 6/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆
words: 407 // warnings: cheating, best friends to lovers, slightly suggestive, breakup comfort
“he was seeing someone else, right behind my back, lix.”
your best friend couldn’t bare to see you in pain - especially over your loser of an ex-boyfriend. but he could help you get over it… just saying.
the second you turned up at felix’s door, tears spilling down your cheeks and arms wrapped around yourself, he knew something was desperately wrong. it was 11 at night, and you hadn’t even messaged him to say you were coming over. he shushed your apologies and cries of not knowing where else to go as he huddled you into the apartment, hugging you softly and trying to wipe away your tears.
he also knew it was wrong to be kind of relieved when you told him that you had broken up with your boyfriend of 3 years. he was your best friend, he shouldn’t be so happy when you were so in pain, but he’d never liked your loser of a boyfriend. he’d always make you pay for dates, even when he forgot the plans or was stupidly late. he lied to you about so many things - still living with his parents, who he was seeing. it made felix sick.
that sickness soon turned to anger when you told felix you’d caught your boyfriend cheating - worst of all, with the girl he told you that you didn't have to worry about because he saw her as a sister. if it wasn’t for the way you were clinging to him, felix would’ve gone and beat the shit out of the asshole in a heartbeat.
“oh, love,” he mumbled, sympathetically as he hugged you to his chest tighter. “its okay. i’m here, its okay.”
he had eventually calmed you down enough to move you into the kitchen, making you a cup of tea and sitting with you while you talked him through what happened. he watched as your sadness turned to anger, fists balled so tightly your knuckles turned white.
“i can’t believe i wasted so much of my life of him. all that effort, all the tears and late nights. i was all for nothing. he’s so fucking stupid, he never deserved me in the first place.”
however, your next words almost left felix speechless, amazed that you finally understood what all of your friends has been telling you since the beginning.
“he’s such a loser, i should’ve listened to everyone. god, even my parents told me i should leave him for you instead.”
“i mean, i’d never do what he did to you,” felix smiled, so innocent and soft compared to the insinuation of his following words. “i could help you you get over him, just saying.”
taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @skz-streamer @hyunjiins @backintomykpopphaseagain @demetrisscarf @nappynapnaps
#mixtape-racha#mixtape-racha fic#5 seconds of skz-series#lee felix#felix#lee felix fic#lee felix smut#felix fic#felix smut#lee felix x reader#lee felix x reader fic#lee felix x reader smut#felix x reader#felix x reader fic#felix x reader smut#stray kids#skz#stray kids fic#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids x reader fic#stray kids x reader smut#skz fic#skz smut#skz x reader#skz x reader fic#skz x reader smut
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stray kids as 5SOS songs
hi 5SOSFAMSTAY i got inspired while listening to good girls and wondered which members of skz would be what 5SOS song so here we are!
if you have requests for who you think lmk ❤️
BANG CHAN
coming soon
LEE MINHO
coming soon
SEO CHANGBIN
coming soon
HWANG HYUNJIN
coming soon
HAN JISUNG
coming soon
LEE FELIX
coming soon
KIM SEUNGMIN
coming soon
YANG JEONGIN
coming soon
—————————————————
photos are from pinterest and all one shots are inspired by 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER songs
i will be continuing through his lens aswell as this series but i am just very busy atm
—————————————————
#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stray kids#bangchan imagines#lee know imagines#changbin imagines#hyunjin imagines#han jisung imagines#felix imagines#seungmin imagines#jeongin imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids one shots#stray kids series#stray kids scernios#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton irwin#michael clifford#calum hood#luke hemmings#5SOS imagines
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Following the ask game, I'd love to here your thoughts for; 1, 14 and 25! 💕
hii dear anon!! okay, so...
( 01. favourite fic you wrote this year )
i have to say that it has to be chan's hot chocolate, from my i wanna be yours series, along with jisung's love of a lifetime. the first one because i love barista chan, and i really enjoyed writing some fluffy college au. the second one cause i'm obsessed with what may called "darkly whimsical fantasy" so expect that kind of content in the future kajhdkajsh
( 14. a fic you didn't expect to write )
probs love of a lifetime, because it wasn't on my wips and/or plans to write it, my moot cubbs tagged me on some thoughts about that han vcr for the dome tour. but also no mourners, no funerals. never in my life would i have thought on share my silly fic od six of crows re written as a minsung x oc series (plus binchanlix x oc side story). shout out to @skzms and @lyramundana for all the pirate au thoughts hehe
( 25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone to read )
WELL this is the stuff. i love giving feedback, and i already have a 5 star tag with my favs here if you want to take a look, but i'll share the ones i really really really love, yeah? (i'll divide the +18 and other ones, so you can read freely if you're a minor)
☆ fics for over 18 readers:
· on my mind (han jisung) by @staytheword (lit the first fic i read here and one of my top5 ones) · wereroomies universe by @therhythmafterthesummer (i recommend you to read every single fic, it's just the best of the best you'll read on skz werewolf au) · scene stealers by @cb97percent · OFC SHARING IS CARING BY @skzms !!!!!! by minsung obsessed awakening akjsdhkjsdha (and her producer chris fic that made me go brrrr) · my lovely @j-0ne25 red light's and levanter · and literally all @subskz 's fics are amazing too
☆ fics for under 18 too
· @feelbokkie 's one last dance (careful with this one) and don't let me love you ーher smaus are the best. · invisible thread by @astraystayyh (both part 1 and 2) · my baby @starlostastronaut 's day 5 of her moony's countdown to christmas (which i highly recommend) · paint you blue by @ksmins !!
i got carried away ajsdhakjsd i'm sorry!! hope that helps <33
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If I can make one more request could you do skz minho + continuation of Warning Song plz? I love both parts of that story! Thank you for the incredible stories you create
thanks for the request and your kind words, anon! I'm glad you're enjoying this mini series I've created, and I hope you like this part too!
5 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/TXT/Golden Child/Ateez/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!
(this is the third drabble in a sort of mini series it seems I've created through my drabble game - here is the first part, breathe your last, and the second part, warning song. reading them is not entirely necessary for understanding this story, but it may help with some of the references!)
REQUESTS CLOSED!!
~
Title: When the Canary Stops Singing
Pairing: Minho x gender neutral!reader
Word count: 776
Warnings: mentions of death, cursing
~
When fists begin pounding at your barricaded door, you know for certain it’s too late.
Minho has just finished wrenching the window frame out of the wall, leaving a gaping hole in the side of this abandoned house. It’s high, though, too high for either of you to reach on your own. He needed you to boost him up to reach it, so how will both of you make it out when one person has climbed over to the other side?
Easy answer.
Only one of you is getting out.
“Y/N.” Minho drops down from your shoulders, rubbing his hands. You can see at least one splinter already sticking out of his skin, and you wince. “Y/N, let’s go - I’ll get you up -”
“No,” you say calmly, taking a step back. “You’re going first.”
Minho’s eyes narrow. “Don't you even -”
“Don’t play heroics with me,” you snap, darting a glance at the door. It’s shaking on its hinges - the few pieces of old furniture you piled up by it aren’t going to do anything to keep it from falling. “You are the prince, Your Highness. You are the one in danger. I’m the one who’s meant to keep you alive, so don’t fucking argue with me and just get back up there now.”
“Stop it!” he snarls, grabbing your shoulder. He looks angry, so angry, and it takes you a moment to see the fear hiding behind those angry eyes. “You’ve kept me alive for this long, I’m going to need you out there, so if you don’t go out first -”
You laugh, startling both Minho and yourself. “Tch.” You shake your head, and despite the situation, you find yourself almost smiling. “Your Highness. Minho.” Brushing his hand off your shoulder, you fix him with a stare. “This is going to be the only time I compliment you, so listen carefully.” You lean forward, desperately ignoring the shouts behind the shaking door. “You are more than capable of saving yourself.”
Minho opens his mouth. Closes it. Starts shaking his head, no doubt to try and contradict you.
“Listen to me, Your Highness.” You grasp his shoulder this time, forcing him to meet your eyes. “My family crest is a canary. We sing for you until we don’t. We protect you until we can’t. But a canary in a coal mine is not what gets the miner out.” Your grip tightens. “The miner must find his way out on his own.”
You let go of his shoulder. Minho stays rooted in place, gaze still trained on yours. “What about the canary?” he asks quietly. “Will it simply be left to die?”
Smirking, you shrug. “That depends on the bird,” you reply. “If it is smart enough, it may find a way to live.”
Minho swallows visibly. “Don’t be stupid,” he warns. You pretend you don’t hear the tremble in his voice. “Find a way.”
“I don’t plan not to,” you say as smoothly as possible, letting your smile widen. “I can only hope it is in the cards.”
For a moment, you only stand there, Minho’s eyes rooting you in place. He opens his mouth to say something -
But then closes it, shattering the spell.
Clapping a hand to your chest, you bow deeply before him. “It has been an honor to protect you, my prince.” When you stand back up, you pray that your smirk hides the fact that your hands are trembling like no tomorrow. “And for the record, I no longer think you’re that much of a waste of space.”
The next few moments are a blur in your mind. Shoving Minho towards the wall, forcing him to step on your aching shoulders to reach the window. Watching him grasp the edge of the gaping hole, watching him pull himself out -
Meeting his eyes one last time before he drops out of sight, just as the sound of cracking wood fills your ears.
You whirl around, hand on your sword as the door crashes down before you, sending a cloud of dirt and dust into the air. Blinking the dirt away, you draw your sword as triumphant shouts sound and footsteps come forward.
One man steps to the front, a deadly smirk on his face. “Where is the prince?” he sneers, raising his own blade, a long, sharp, brutal thing that shines menacingly in the darkness.
Swallowing hard, you set your jaw. “You’re too late,” you reply, drawing out every mocking word. Hefting your sword, you pin the man down with a stare. A long smirk draws itself across your lips.
“His Highness is no longer here.”
#stray kids#skz#lee minho#lee know#lino#stray kids minho#stray kids lee know#stray kids minho scenarios#stray kids lee know scenarios#stray kid scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#lee minho x reader#minho x reader#lee know x reader#stray kids minho x reader#angst#royalty!au#cw cursing#cw death#when the canary stops singing#5 year anniversary drabble game#lina answers#anon#blossom-hwa
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Heartbeat
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺
-> Masterlist
PART 6 of my ‘Stay Series’ - a long hypothesised journey of a relationship between Bang Chan and Reader - for this fic, I highly recommend reading at least PART 1 (Just Stay.) and 5 (The Date of All Dates), as there's flashbacks included and references made to these parts.
WC: 10.3k (long fic no. 2) | Synopsis: You break up with Chris :| Does he chase after you? Yes. Yes of course he does because it would be boring if he doesn't. There's also a fight, naturally.
Notes: ANGST, Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, Idol!Chan, CaféOwner!Reader, Fem!Reader, Angry!Chan, Heartbroken!Chan, EmotionalWreck!Chan HAH, Blood, Suic!de (Strong Descriptions), Swearing, Pet Names (Jagiya, Jagi, Baby, Babe, Love etc.)
Here for a reading marathon? Head right back to the start!
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺
Overall ‘Stay Series’ Synopsis: Bang Chan experiences the suic!des of Stays, so when you lot choose to die, he dies right along with you. Reader is the “antidote” to this condition - MAJOR PART OF THIS FIC
PART 6
!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!
Listen to this after if you want, it was the inspiration for half the fic hehe - I'll embed it at the bottom as well.
youtube
--
Notice Regarding Bang Chan’s Personal Life
Hello, this is JYPE.
Recently, there has been a great deal of speculation and discussion surrounding Bang Chan's long-distance relationship. We understand that our fans are concerned about his well-being and how this relationship may affect his commitments as an idol. We want to assure you that our highest priority is the well-being and professional responsibilities of our artists, including Bang Chan.
Due to the outlash of feedback received from the recently leaked photos of him with his significant other, he has been restricted from visiting his partner for the time being. We understand that this situation may raise questions and concerns among fans, and we appreciate your continued support and understanding.
We want to make it clear that Bang Chan's personal life, including his relationship, is his private matter. However, we believe in being transparent with our fans to address any concerns. We want to emphasise that this romantic relationship will not affect Bang Chan's performance, schedule, or duties as an idol. He remains fully committed to his career, his passion for music and his responsibilities as a member of Stray Kids remain unwavering.
JYP Entertainment will continue to provide Bang Chan with the necessary support and guidance to ensure that he can balance his personal life and professional obligations. We believe in nurturing a healthy work-life balance for our artists to ensure their well-being and success in their careers.
We kindly ask for your understanding and support during this time. Please continue to support Bang Chan and Stray Kids as they work hard to bring you great music and performances.
Thank you.
--
That was approximately four months ago. Chris had informed you of the situation as soon as he found out, and when you read the official notice, you couldn’t help but scowl at how supportive they were making themselves seem. What they were really hoping was that the separation would cause a shift in your relationship, and you’d break up. Not that it mattered, because that is exactly what was going to happen, what you had been planning from the beginning.
--
Chris flops into his studio chair, raking a hand through his hair in his exhaustion. It’s taking a toll on his health if he’s being honest. It’s paining him that he can’t call you as frequently as he’d like, can’t see you whenever he pleased, can’t hug you like you’re his teddy bear. He wondered how you were doing constantly; in the middle of dance rehearsals, working in his studio, posing for the camera, grinning in interviews.
He sighs and tugs his phone out of his pocket, opening up his camera roll and scrolling through his photos with you. His camera roll is half Stray Kids, half you. Eating ice cream, in the car, sitting on park benches together, at the beach, snuggled together in your apartment. His mind immediately relaxes as he scrolls through them all, reliving each memory he has with you. The heat from him officially announcing your relationship still hasn’t died down, and there are trucks with LED signs still rolling up frequently to the front of JYP. (A/N: Inspired by the uproar from losing Chan's Room irl obviously, in this world however, it still exists)
He checks the time on his wristwatch, and mentally calculates whether you’d be sleeping or not. He’s supposed to do Chan’s Room, but he wants to see you too. After a moment of contemplation, he seeks out your contact and hits the face time button. You answer after a second, immediately propping your phone up on the kitchen counter so you can move around.
“Hey, you okay?” you smile at him through the camera, and Chris grins back, admiring your adorably unkempt state: messy hair, PJs, bare face. He props you up on his computer monitor and leans back into his chair. “Yeah ha. I just wanted to see you,” he shrugs, and you shake your head at him in amusement, “I thought you’d be asleep.”
You sigh and drag your chopping board into the camera, waving your knife around dramatically, “I’m kind of hungry.” “Are you seriously cooking a whole ass meal at… 3am?” Chris laughs, dragging his chair closer to watch as you chop up vegetables and toss them into a pot.
“I was craving soup, and then I remembered I could satisfy my own cravings if I actually tried. Here, want a carrot?” you ask, picking up a slice and shoving it towards the camera. Chris giggles and opens his mouth. You blink in surprise when he grabs a carrot stick from off camera and munches on it, “Thanks for the carrot.”
“Who knew we were that in sync,” you laugh, shoving your carrot into your mouth and chewing happily. “Stay with me?” he asks, finishing off his carrot as you go back to your cooking, “I’m going to do Chan’s Room now, but can you stay on call?” “Sure.”
--
You had been stalling your decision for months now. It’s been half a year, and Chris still hasn’t been able to return to your side. To top this off, your trash can is ridiculously full of letters you haven’t even opened. In the beginning you would hesitantly tear open the mail, but the amount of hate and death threats you were receiving never seemed to stop, so Chris eventually ordered you to just stop reading them.
You figured some people had recognised you thanks to the Skz-Code episode. Although you weren't part of the episode itself, people picked up on you as the owner of the Café when they visited. This knowledge was slightly scary, but... you'd manage.
Sometimes, when your mood wasn’t the best, you would pluck a letter out at random. The words within it only confirmed your reason for ever thinking of breaking up with him. Your socials and emails were swamped with them too.
Chris couldn’t go live without people asking him about you, both in a positive or negative way. Stray Kids’ couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without someone asking about how the relationship was panning it out, and you were tired of hearing Chris calmly explain exactly what the official notice from JYP had stated. You could tell he was sick of it too. As time wore on, you noticed more and more in Chris’ demeanour, in Skz-Talker, award shows, back-stage footage, he had grown reserved, silent.
He was captured spending time on his phone often, in an irritable mood more frequently, and the Stray Kids members often gave you updates on his moods, behind his back. He really only seemed happy when he was talking with you, or messaging you. And that… as an idol? No that’s not allowed. You frown at the image Jisung had just sent you: a picture of Chris sitting on a bench up against the wall of the dance room, staring off into space, his posture deflated.
(A/N: When the dialogue is in script format, it's meant to represent text messages)
Jisung: “He feels different”
You: “I’ve noticed”
Jisung: “he really misses you”
You: “I know Jisung” You: “I miss him too”
Jisung: “JYP is mean”
You: “Chris just needs to snap out of it” You: “He’s an idol first and foremost”
Jisung: “I think he just wants to be yours” Jisung: “First and foremost”
You: “Yeah but he can’t just give up on his life like this” You: “not for me, not for anyone” You: “he worked too hard for this” You: “suffered too much”
Jisung: “this is the worst he’s ever suffered”
You: “no it’s not”
Jisung; “I think it is”
You: “Jisung, tell him I said he needs to remember who he is”
Jisung: “he said he knows who he is”
You: “who is he?”
Jisung: “I’m not going to tell you what he said”
You: “why?”
Jisung: “You’ll just get mad”
You: “…”
Jisung: “I think he’d give up everything for you” Jisung: “JYP spoke with him again today” Jisung: “I think that’s why his mood has worsened”
You: “… Me or Skz???” You: “Ji?”
--
You sigh and rub your temples, trying to ease the migraine that’s forming. Jisung’s left you on read, and you know exactly what that means. This is it. The tears that you’ve been holding back ever since you first considered it start to fall. The tears that you’ve buried deep down into your soul flood out. They’ve been hiding there, threatening to return, ever since he bought you those skittles.
Your sobs rack through you, chest heaving, as your bottled-up emotions explode out of you in waves. You’re laughing through your tears now; sobbing, quietly screaming, laughing, all at once. You didn’t cry as you packed up your suitcase, didn’t cry as Ashley hugged you tightly, before she signed the official transfer papers. You never cried while you were on call with Chris, or as you read his sweet messages in the morning. Never cried at how miserable he looked on screen, never cried as you packed up your decorations and belongings. Never cried as you bid your official farewell to your regulars, and hosted Ashley’s take over celebration.
And now you were crying, and oh how it hurt.
Ashley peeks her head around the bedroom door. She had recently moved into your apartment, preparing for your departure. Ashley was the owner of Café Studio now. She would live in your apartment, and she would take care of the business. You reached for her desperately, needing someone, anyone to support you. She walks over and pulls you into a tight embrace. You curl up against her, burying yourself into her neck, sobbing wholeheartedly.
“Are you sure… this is the right thing to do…?” she quietly asks, patting your back. You bitterly laugh and wipe away your tears, trying to still your erratic breathing. She’d asked you the same question countlessly over the past few months, but you were stubborn in your decision.
Chris’ declining attitude and personality change was only confirmation that you needed to get out of his life, so that he could return to being the wonderful idol that he was before he met you. You’d go home, back to Australia (A/N: Australia because the irony for Chris) and take a few months to reset with your family. You’d already applied for a course at university, finally pursuing the path your parents had initially wanted you to take. You had really wanted to try the Café first though, wanted to make your dream a reality. Things would work out okay. You sniffle and pull away from Ashley, who’s expression is filled with nothing but pity. It was time for you to disappear.
Most of your belongings had already been shipped back home, and your parents had been keeping up to date with your relationship via the internet. You had eventually informed them of your relationship with Chris, worried that they would first find out via the spam of the internet. Tears almost spill again when you realise you’ve never really spoken to Chris about your family, never had the opportunity to introduce him to them. All you’ve ever told him is that you have two younger brothers.
You disappear into the office, leaving Ashley sitting by herself on the couch, and open up your laptop, immediately booking the first flight you see over to Perth. It leaves in… 2 hours.
--
Are you ready, reader? Yeah sorry, Kaiwoo here to ruin your lovely reading experience to speed up things. I love writing don’t get me wrong, but I can be a lazy ass sometimes, so I’m going to give the following events to you straight.
You try to call him, a couple of days after you’ve returned home, having finally worked up the courage to explain what you’ve done. You’re a coward, really, fleeing the country before even talking to him about it.
In all honesty, he’s probably already picked up on your absence. You haven’t actively messaged him or called him yourself over the past couple of days, only responding to his messages and answering his calls for brief conversations. He probably knows what’s up.
I lied. He doesn’t. He’s been as busy as ever, and he’s been pushing himself harder lately, trying to distract himself from you. JYP did speak to him, but it wasn’t anything to do with an ultimatum. JYP had spoken to him about his declining performance, told him to get his shit together – and he fell into an existential crisis for a little while.
Jisung left you on read because he assumed Chris was given an ultimatum. So all in all, this just comes down to communication errors. Communicating long distance is always hard though. He hasn’t noticed that your efforts into communicating with him have lessened. Which is exactly why, what you’ve done to him… will end him.
“You can end me whenever you want love. Just as long as it’s you doing it.” You pinch him lightly with an amused laugh, “You’re such a cheesy ass.” “Only for you~” he laughs, the vibrations from his throat rippling through you.
“I… could beat the shit out of you…” you murmur, and Chris allows himself a smile. He bends down and kisses you softly, his heart aching with all the words he wishes he could say, all the love he wishes he could give. “You absolutely could… and the insane thing is… I would let you…” he softly whispers, then leaves your side to turn off the lights around the apartment.
Hm. That panned out well, don’t you think?
--
Chris bows in thanks to the other dancers in the room, wiping the sweat off his forehead and throwing his jacket over his shoulder. “Thank you guys, great work today everyone,” he smiles, patting those closest on the back with confidence. The rest of Stray Kids are finishing up their thanks as well, and are gathering their belongings, having finally finished another exhausting dance practice session. The room empties of other dancers, leaving just Chris and his Kids’ alone.
Minho and Jisung are talking quietly with one another, Hyunjin still trying to perfect a difficult dance move. Changbin gulping down a whole bottle of water, Felix sprawled out in a star on the floor. Seungmin and Jeongin are sitting crossed legged by the wall, staring at everyone in a tired and dazed state, fluffy hair sticking out everywhere.
“Anyone hungry for chicken?” Changbin asks, addressing the group as a whole. There a few murmurs of assent, and Minho states that he’ll order some. They begin to chatter about what to order, drinks included.
Chris is staring at his phone, smiling at the notifications from you, unaware of the conversation around him. There’s two missed calls and one voice message. You’ve never left him a voice message before. Excited to hear what was so urgent that you had to leave a voice message, he turns his volume up so he can hear you over the noise of the Kids’ and activates his message bank.
[You have one new message]
He places his phone on top of the mini fridge and grabs a bottle of water, taking a generous gulp as he waits for the audio to play.
[Let’s…]
He slowly lowers the bottle at the tone of your voice, the hesitancy.
[break up.]
His body stiffens and his eyes widen, his heart skipping a beat.
[I’ve been thinking about it for a while.]
Chris blinks and his mouth parts in surprise, his breathing starting to intensify.
[Let’s break up.]
By now, the Kids’ have fallen silent, all of them watching Chris. All of them grasping the situation. All of their hearts cracking at the sight of their frozen leader. Chris is blinking rapidly, tears welling in the corner of his eyes. This can’t be happening.
[It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong.] [It’s not that our love lacks anything either.]
“No-” Chris murmurs, his hand shaking around the bottle he’s still holding.
[It’s just that… in some cases… love can only continue to a certain point.]
Chris’ other hand drifts to cover his mouth, shaking, a fragile gasp escaping his lips. The members drift over to him, surrounding him in a comforting hug.
He needs it. He makes no move to hug them back, makes no move as Seungmin eases the water out of his grasp. His hands lock at his sides as they lean into him. They can tell he’s fighting so hard to keep his tears at bay.
[So please don’t try to look for me…] [So that I can leave with good memories of you.]
Chris’ vision is blurry. His face is crumpled in an expression that almost makes him look mad. He really is, fighting with himself.
[Please don’t try to look for me.]
He’s trembling. His entire world is collapsing. Piece by piece. Memory by memory. All of it floods through his mind.
[I.. too… cherish you very much.]
He stumbles forwards, his breathing erratic, and the members watch as he snatches his phone from the fridge, the voice message still playing, and grabs the door handle to leave.
[So that’s why, I’m going to stop it here.]
Chris chokes back a pathetic sob and swings open the door, sprinting off, his jacket flying off his shoulders and landing on the floor.
It’s pouring rain outside. At least no one can see his tears.
It leaves me feeling seasick, baby
Chris bursts out of the JYP building, ignoring the yells of managers, trainees and staff alike. Immediately, he’s drenched from head to toe, but he couldn’t care less. The water seeps straight through to his bones, and he looks around desperately, like he’s searching for you – but obviously you’re not here. He unlocks his phone and calls you, the rain spattering the screen with droplets.
“Pick up,” his mind delirious, his teeth clenched, drawing in heavy breaths, “pick up pick up pickuppickuppickup- answer your fucking phone!” he dials you again and takes off at a sprint, running along the footpath, the rain pelting him. He can barely see where he’s going, his hair slick on his forehead.
Seems like I'm locked deep in the dreamlike reality
He’s called you about five times, panting in the rain before the thought crosses his mind. Chris swivels himself back around and sprints back to the JYP building, swerving past people in umbrella’s. He couldn’t care less about the water that he’s dripping everywhere on the floor, couldn’t care less about the surprised yells of employees as he pushes past them. He bounds up the steps, skipping as many as possible, the burn in his legs already growing, and bursts into JYP’s Office without even knocking.
“What did you say to her?” he asks, frantic, eyes flickering with pain. “Say to who?” JYP frowns, the conversation he was having with a trainee coming to an abrupt stop. “Y/N. What did you say to her?” Chris repeats, growing impatient. “I have not… said anything…” JYP deadpans, offering a sympathetic shrug.
It spins me 'round and drives me crazy
Chris is back out in the rain. He didn’t waste a second after those words left JYP’s mouth, turning tail and dashing back out of the building again. He was meant to head back to the dorms, but he’s been running around in circles, trying to process, trying to think. He stops in the middle of a nearby park, hyperventilating, letting the tears fall from his eyes straight to the ground, his hands braced on his knees.
“Why…? Why why why? You can’t do this to me,” he sobs, swiping the water from his phone screen again to dial your number for the nth time.
It seems that I'm like the moon in the midday
“Good morning sunshine…” he happily chirps, the familiar endearment causing you to smile happily. This time though, you have an idea. “Good morning moonlight,” your smile intensifies as Chris pauses, stunned, and you wriggle your way into a seated position, forcing him to do the same.
“Moonlight?” he questions, his voice cracking slightly in the early morning. “Yeah. Moonlight. ‘Cause even in the darkness you still shine.” Chris blinks at you, then after a second, grabs your arm to pull you into his lap, “Okay sure,” he pecks the top of your head, a favourite action of his, “but you got one thing wrong. If you’re my sunshine and I’m your moonlight… then I shine because you do.”
If I was only by myself
“Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me. You can’t-” Chris sinks down onto his knees, burying his face into his hands. The rain is beginning to die down, but that doesn’t matter to him. A whine escapes him, against his will, and it turns into a drawn-out moan as he collapses in on himself, a lone man in the middle of an even lonelier park.
If I didn't know you
“I need you. I need- why would you-” he looks at his phone again, then in his frustration, throws it into the nearby bush. He’s pacing around on the footpath in a panic, raking his hands over and over through his hair, tugging at it, his eyes puffy with tears, bottom lip trembling. He curses and scrambles around in the bush, plucking his phone out and shoving it into his pocket.
Maybe I'd have given up
Chris takes off into another sprint, his body needing to do something, trying to feel some other kind of pain that isn’t in his heart. Eventually, he stumbles into the wall of a building, desperately needing it for support, gasping for air. “Why would you-” his voice cracks into a dry scream, hammering his fist on the wall once, his forehead resting against the cold brick.
Lost at sea
That was him. The idiot leaning too far over the railing was the one whispering nonsense in your brain. How you came to this conclusion was to anyone’s guess, but it was him. In the seconds it had taken you to sprint over to him, he had clambered on top of the railing, balancing precariously, his hands in his hoodie pockets, gazing into the depths of the water.
But my heart's still on fire With a burning desire Gonna get you back like it's destined
He flinches at the sound of a car horn rapidly honking, and he pushes himself off the wall to locate it. “Yah! Hyung! Get in!” Minho yells, waving at him from the driver’s seat of one of the company cars. Chris shakes his head slowly, leaning back onto the wall, not in the mood to be sitting in a car with anyone. Needing instead to punish himself, make his body sore, let his throat go raw with his screams and his sobs.
“Okay, I guess you don’t want a lift to the airport then!” he yells again, winding up the window with a raise of his eyebrows. Chris lets out an exasperated laugh, annoyed with himself, his mind clearing.
“Okay okay okay. I won’t pay. You can let me go,” you fuss, scrabbling at his hands, but he sighs and hugs you tighter. “Never. Will never let you go,” he mumbles, kissing the back of your head affectionately.
I wish that you would love me
The car is practically silent as Minho drives, silent except for Chris’ sniffles. He’s staring off into space, and Minho’s worry for his elder only intensifies the longer they drive for, his eyes frequently flickering from his leader back to the road. A ringtone reverberates through the car, and Minho answers by pressing a button on the steering wheel. “Yeah?” “’Lix booked a flight ticket, tell Chan hyung it’s Gate 21, Flight FR3421, and leaves in an hour.” Changbin responds, the sound of his hurried footsteps echoing through the phone as he walks.
“He’s here, I have him. He can hear you,” Minho calmly states, and Changbin makes a noise of acknowledgement before continuing on, “Jisung’s explaining things to JYP, I’m headed there now.” The sound of a door opening is heard, and then even louder, the voices of JYP and Jisung arguing.
Like yesterday, don't let go of this hand ever again
Chris’ hand sneakily slips into yours, and he places it neatly on his thigh, carefully stroking your knuckles. This shakes you out of your reverie, and you glance at your linked hands, a small smile gracing your features.
And every time my heart beats Match your steps so you don't wander around ever again
He’s going to find you. He doesn’t give a shit about how mad JYP will be. Doesn’t give two fucks about his schedule. He will find you. And he’ll never, never let you go.
--
I’m interrupting again, I do apologise. I unfortunately have run out of the mental capacity to continue writing like this. My heart, my mind, my soul can’t handle it. Chris gets on the plane, and he tries to sleep. He suffers really bad nightmares, and suddenly that strange occurrence is back. People are dying again. In his dreams though. Stays are dying again. He wakes up with a start and coughs up blood, it drips out of his hand and onto his clothes, and he’s shaking, trembling, wracked with fear and hurt and pain.
He needs you.
--
Chris thanks the taxi driver, pressing his phone to the EFTPOS through the car window and hoists his bag higher on his shoulder. Hyunjin had stuffed his bag with basic necessities and passed it on to Minho to take with him as he went on the hunt for Chris. The shutters are pulled down on your café. You must have just recently closed, it’s only 11.17pm.
After a brief hesitation, he hammers on the café door. When there’s no response, he takes a step back, searches for a pebble on the ground, aims, and throws it up at your apartment window. It takes him a couple of tries, but Ashley’s head suddenly peeks out. Her eyes widen as she recognises Chris, and she immediately disappears.
Chris’ confusion only mounts when Ashley pulls up the shutter and opens the door, the keys jangling in the lock. “Where is-” he begins, but Ashley swiftly interrupts him, “She’s not here.”
The young girl suggests that Chris comes inside, asking him twice because Chris’ mind has stopped working again. “What do you mean she’s not- she has to be,” he pleads and Ashley sighs, holding the door wider for him. Chris’ legs feel heavy as he walks into the café and follows Ashley upstairs to your apartment.
“I… I own this place now… I live here,” Ashley begins, cautiously analysing Chris’ expression. His breath is immediately wiped out of his lungs at the obvious lack of your presence. Your decorations are gone, your photo frames vanished, every essence of you eradicated from the apartment.
“Where… where is she…?” Chris murmurs, his bag slipping from his shoulders and down onto the floor. Ashley hums sadly, bouncing on the balls of her feet with her hands behind her back. Chris slowly turns towards Ashley, struggling to confirm coherent words, “Where- where did she go?”
Ashley sighs and clasps her hands together sadly, “She didn’t want me to tell you this… but quite honestly, I was never a supporter of this plan in the first place.” “This was a plan?” “Been planned right from the start of it all. Since the skittles, she said. She’s home now.”
“Home? This is her home. She should be- her home is with me.” Ashley shakes her head and disappears into her bedroom, your bedroom, Chris’ gaze lingering on her retreating form. After a minute, Ashley returns with a cardboard box in her arms.
“These are yours… your possessions. She wanted me to throw them out but… I… didn’t have the heart to,” she hands Chris the box, and he opens the lid hesitantly, blinking back tears.
His clothes, his toiletries, his snacks, his drinks.
“Where is she?” he asks again, asking for a more specific answer, “Where’s her home?” “She’s with her family, back in Australia… Perth.” Chris inhales sharply and stalks over to the couch to place the cardboard box there. He whips out his phone and types out a quick message to the Stray Kids’ group chat, letting them know of his current situation.
Jisung: “Go get her. I’ll fight with JYP again, no problem.”
The rest of the Kids’ react to Jisung’s message with a thumbs up.
Changbin: “I’ll beat his ass this time.”
Message's of agreement follow, and Chris manages a small smile.
“I’m not going to give you her address until you rest,” Ashley stubbornly states, assuming that Chris is booking a flight to Perth, “She’d want you to rest.” Chris contemplates Ashley’s words, glancing at her outstretched hand. A wave of exhaustion crashes over him then, and he nods in assent, handing his phone over to her. “No booking flights until tomorrow. Go wash up and get some sleep,” Ashley commands, walking over to place his phone on the kitchen counter.
He spends most of his time standing in the shower, staring at the wall, his brain foggier than the steaming glass windows. He’s absently fiddling with a bracelet on his wrist.
“Happy Birthday Christopher~” “What’s this?” “It’s a gift for me, obviously.” “Alright, you goose. Stupid question. Can I… open it?” “Of fucking course.” "…" “It’s got my name on the underside… so you can carry me wherever you go.” “I love you.” “I know.” “Oi! C’mere you little shit, say it back!” “Happy BirthdayyyyyyyyyyAHH! DON’T TICKLE ME!”
When he finally gets out of the shower, changing into one of his hoodies from the cardboard box of his belongings, he finds Ashley lying down on the couch, blankets draped on top of her, scrolling on her phone. “I’ll sleep on the couch. What’re you doing?” Chris asks, towelling his hair. Ashley lowers her phone and frowns at him, “It’s fine. You can take the bed.”
“I don’t think I can…” Chris whispers, and Ashley nods in understanding. “I thought you might like to… I haven't washed the sheets yet because they… they still smell like her…” “Oh,” Chris falters, swallowing thickly. “I just thought- that it’d help you sleep better. I know it helps me sleep better… I… I miss her too…” Ashley smiles softly, going back to scrolling on her phone. “You miss her?’ Chris asks, his voice croaky. “She’s like an older sister. Of course I miss her.” “Oh.”
They do… smell like you. But it’s not you.
--
Chris clicks open his phone, reading the text message from Ashley. She’s finally sent him your address using his recently traded phone number. He sighs and leans back into his plane seat, fiddling with that bracelet again. He’s trying to work through what he’s going to say to you when he finally sees you again. His gaze is unfocused as he stares out of the plane window, watching the clouds drift lazily past, the world small, insignificant.
Fear courses through him, and he sits up straighter, the back of his neck prickling, goosebumps emerging everywhere. His breath seizes in his throat as the barrel of a gun is pressed to the side of his head, cold and hard, digging painfully into his skin. He looks around in a panic, irises blown out and terrified, but of course – there’s no actual gun at his head. Chris’ hands grip his armrests tightly, his knuckles white, as a voice, echoey and distant, murmurs in his mind.
“Just pull the trigger and it’s done… it’s as easy as that…”
Chris’ breath returns in ragged huffs, his heart screaming in his chest, eyes flickering with horror.
“Please,” Chris begs, his voice coming out in a pitiful whine, “Please, not this again. Please.”
--
I’ll help you out here, since I’ve been a lazy author and haven’t been keeping you up to date with Chris’ strange condition much. This strange connection to suicidal Stays ceased to exist when he met you. They only visited him in nightmares, but even then, they eventually stopped too. It’s only just recently that they’ve returned… ever since you’ve left him. Ever since you’ve denied him your love. This time is different though, this time the symptoms are more severe.
I suppose… you can think of it like this – imagine you’ve been tortured for a long time, and then eventually you find release, you find freedom. Wouldn’t it be 10x worse if suddenly you’re thrown back into this torture? Thrown back in after finally having a taste of freedom? Yeah. I think it would be.
--
Chris hears the click of the trigger, loud next to his ear. There’s a brief bang, which makes him flinch, a stabbing pain in the side of his skull, and he’s gone. He’s dead. You can forget about his mission to find you. You can forget about his heartbeat, his thoughts, his soul. He’s dead. Died at the same time someone else in the world shot a bullet through their brain. He’s dead.
“Excuse me? Sir, please wake up. Sir! Natalie! Go get a med kit! Quickly!” Chris stirs, his head groggy as his eyes drift open. His vision is blurred, so even when he turns his head to stare at the person gripping his shoulder tightly, he can’t tell who it is.
“What…?” he mumbles as if someone’s just woken him from his peaceful sleep, and the flight attendant turns back to him in shock. “It’s alright sir, just sit still don’t move your head. I’m just going to apply pressure to the wound okay?” she murmurs, grabbing a cloth off another flight attendant and pressing it to the side of his skull.
“What?” Chris asks again, his vision clearing. “Sir, you’re bleeding,” she states, staring at him in confusion. She retracts her other hand to show the blood coated all over it. “Am I?” he asks, and his senses fully return to him, panic gripping him as he feels his blood trickling past his ear, dripping everywhere on his seat, a strange throbbing in his skull. He bolts out of his seat, shoving past the attendant and dashes down the lane to lock himself in the bathroom.
In record time, someone’s banging on the door, urging him to come out so he can be tended to, and that he’s bleeding severely and should seek medical help. Chris ignores them and stares at himself in the mirror. He’s been shot. He dips a shaking hand into the blood oozing out of his skull, retching at its stickiness.
“What the fuck?” he wheezes, stumbling forwards to support his quivering self on the sink, nausea slamming into him. He retches again, leaning forwards into the sink, preparing for the vomit. Nothing comes though, and when he looks up into the mirror again, suddenly he’s just staring at himself – tired, trembling with fear, but nothing much else.
His hand zooms up to his head again, but there’s no blood. There’s no bullet wound. Just him. “What the actual fuck?” Chris repeats again, groaning and slamming his forehead into the mirror (A/N: Please help me, I actually don’t think there are bathroom mirrors on planes but just fckn pretend there is because it was necessary). Eventually, he scoffs and pushes himself up, fixing his hair to make it look a little less ruffled.
“That’s fucking new,” he growls, glaring at himself in the mirror, then up above, as though he’s blaming a higher entity for his suffering. He takes a deep breath and finally notices that the knocking on the bathroom door has stopped, and instead he can hear panicked whispers. “I don’t understand, where did the blood go? My hand was covered in blood, where did it-” “No, I know I saw it, I gave you the cloth to-”
Chris unlocks the bathroom door and swings it open, staring at the flight attendants with a hesitant grin, “Sorry ladies, did you need the bathroom?” Their jaws fall open in shock at the sight of him, unwounded, unphased. “No you- your head was bleeding badly just a second ago,” One of them stutters. Chris frowns and stares at them like they’re insane, then steps out of the bathroom and closes the door slowly, “I… think I’d know… if my head was… bleeding. Are you guys okay?”
They blink at him, stunned. Then clear their throats nervously and turn to stare at each other before muttering, “Do you think we’re just tired?” Chris shrugs, gives them a little bow and turns away to return to his seat. Behind his back, they continue to talk, “How can we both possibly hallucinate the same thing though?” “I don’t understand.” “Let’s just… yeah let’s go rotate… I think we need more sleep.”
He’d always wondered what would happen if you were ever to leave his side. He’d never figured out whether the suicidal connections stopped because of you, or if it was purely coincidental. If there was any silver lining to this situation, it would be that he now knows that he needs you. He wants you and he needs you. Please. Come back to him.
--
Chris gulps as he drags his suitcase to a stop in front of your family home, double-checking the address on his phone. His heart is beating frantically, and he can’t tell if it’s from nerves or excitement. The sun is warm on his back, but at the same time it prickles his skin, sizzling it with an uncomfortable anticipation.
Slowly, he meanders his way up the driveway, admiring the red and yellow kangaroo paw framing its outline. It’s almost a relief when he steps under the shade of the front patio, welcoming the protection from the sun. After a steadying breath, he presses his finger to the doorbell, head tilting at the sound of it ringing from inside. There’s some muted shuffling, brief yelling and then the door clicks open. Standing in the doorway is someone who isn’t you but could basically be a duplicate of you.
Her hair through to her eyes, height through to her smile; it’s so shockingly similar to yours that Chris almost breathes your name. Eventually, his mind corrects itself and he notices the wrinkles lining her expression, the mole on the wrong spot, the different jawline.
He’s just met your mother.
“Hi, are you alright? Can I help you?” she asks, blinking at him through the screen door. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but as he thinks over it, he probably should have expected it. He hadn’t prepared himself to come face to face with one of your parents. Her eyes flicker over the backpack and suitcase behind him, and she squints, an idea formulating in her mind.
“You’re… Christopher right?” she frowns, just as he opens his mouth to introduce himself. “I’m- yes- I’m- yeah that’s me…” he responds, his voice feebly dying in his throat. Your mother swivels around on her heels and calls over her shoulder.
“Noah honey, Chris is here can you pop the kettle on!?” Then with a swift click, she unlocks the screen door and swings it wide, smiling gently at Chris. “Who’s here?!” Noah yells back, and your Mum rolls her eyes. “Christopher! Y/N’s boyfriend!” she shakes her head and returns her attention to Chris, who’s standing frozen, a little confused and disoriented, “Sorry about the yelling love, come in, come in.”
Chris fumbles for his suitcase behind him, but your Mum gestures again, “Oh don’t worry about that, I’ll grab that. You just make yourself at home.” Chris hesitates but catches a familiar glimmer in her eyes and thinks better of it.
Once inside, he takes note of the shoes gathered neatly by the corner and takes his own off before leaving the inside doormat, carefully placing them to the side. “Just walk straight through to the living room, my husband will bring you a coffee-”
Chris swivels around and opens his mouth to explain that he doesn’t drink coffee, or tea, but your Mum slaps her forehead in realisation and chatters on, “Oh dearie me, you don’t drink coffee do you love? NOAH!” “Yeah?!” “Have we got any pineapple juice in the fridge?!” she yells again, and Chris can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed at being stuck in the middle of a conversation being yelled across the house.
And… how did she know about… pineapple juice being one of his favourites…
“My name’s Kiara love, Kia works fine though,” she explains, dragging his suitcase inside and shutting the door with her foot. “I don’t mean to intrude-” Chris begins, hands tightening on his bag straps. “Oh nonsense my dear boy. You’ve won me some money,” she waves at him, squeezing past and leading him into the lounge room where Noah is setting a glass of pineapple juice and a hazelnut croissant on the coffee table.
“That’s not how you should be welcoming him, Ki,” Noah scoffs, eyeing his wife pointedly, “There’s no need to involve our bets. Leave the poor man alone.” “This poor man has his priorities straight,” Kiara scoffs back, rolling Chris’ suitcase to a stop beside the couch, then shuffling over in her fluffy grey indoor slippers to take his bag off him. Chris doesn’t really want to know what the bet is about. He could probably guess, so instead he stares at Kiara’s slippers, bewilderment melting into embarrassment.
“Are those… Wolfchan-” he begins as Kiara plonks his bag down next to his suitcase. “Hm? These?” she asks, lifting a foot up, “Yeah. I bought them for Y/N years back, but then she left, forgot to pack these and then said I could use them because we’re the same size. They’re super comfy too.”
Chris’ heart falters at the mention of your name, and Noah seems to notice this, for he pats the couch next to him with a small smile. Chris slowly sits down and accepts the pineapple juice, taking a tiny sip. “If you have anything to say son, then you’re welcome to. However, I’ll just point out that there’s no need to introduce yourself or explain why you’re here. Y/N told us everything.”
Chris nods and takes a deep breath, eyeing the hazelnut croissant with disdain. Did they know about the significance of that croissant too? Looking at it makes his heart ache. “I can’t… I can’t lose her,” he eventually breathes, and Kiara sits down on his other side. “We know sweetie… and I think it’s quite admirable that you’ve flown all this way to find her,” she nods, placing a tentative hand on his back.
“Yeah well… I had no choice she wouldn’t- she’s not answering my calls… or my messages,” Chris sets the glass down and urges himself to not cry. No crying, especially not in front of your parents. Enough. “At least she didn’t block you. It’s a sign that she hasn’t completely let go yet either, so just try your hardest son. I know my daughter is stubborn, she gets that from me unfortunately, but if you try hard enough…” Noah rambles, his hands wildly gesturing, but eventually lapses into silence.
“Where is she?” Chris eventually asks, dreading the question. He resents the way it sounds coming out of his mouth, broken and vulnerable. He resents that every time he has asked, he’s come up short, people telling him they know nothing, or she’s not here. He resents having to ask the question at all.
“She’s out with Oliver right now, but she’ll be home soon, don’t worry,” Kiara chirps, rubbing his back comfortingly. “The dog Kiara. The dog. She’s taken Oli, our Aussie Shepherd, out for a walk,” Noah adds, and Chris can’t help but crack a small smile as Kiara rolls her eyes and Noah continues, “What’re you trying to do? Spark a fight out of jealousy? Oliver’s a dog, not a human.”
“Oh give it a rest honey, I’m sure Chris doesn’t get jealous that easily.” Chris picks up his drink again and takes a generous sip, deciding it better to let Kiara believe that to be true. He does, sometimes… get jealous.
“Now, I know you love our girl. That much is obvious,” Noah grins, “But I want to know why you need her in your life.” Chris frowns at the question, his hand digging into the holes of his ripped jeans, and at his confusion, Noah elaborates, “You can love someone, but still let them go, simply because you do love them. I want to know why you love her and need her in your life.”
He thinks he understands the question now, and before he can even think his mouth is spilling words. “She makes me happy. I know my career is rough, it’s chaotic, it’s strenuous. But the days that I do get to see her are the best days of my life. She’s never expected anything of me. She’s never held me in high regard just because I’m an idol. She sees me as me. I’m just Chris to her.
“Sometimes I look at her, and I can see snippets of myself – the way she treats her customers, the way she tackles her work, the way she loves. And I- she gives me a reason to love myself. Through loving her, I’m learning to love myself. I feel loved, when I’m with her. And the world is okay. It’s full of love. And suddenly I want all this love to go to her.
“Her smile makes me smile. Her laugh does that too. I’m never going to forget that look in her eyes when she’s listening to me talk about my day. And now- I-” Chris can feel himself cracking, his voice breaking as he tries to continue, and a realisation hits him so hard that he has to stop talking. When he finally continues, his voice is barely a whisper, “And I would do anything in the world to see her smile and her eyes and even her attitude… replicated in our kids. But I can’t- they won’t exist if she doesn’t- if I can’t-”
Chris takes a shuddering breath and stops himself. He’s not going to say anything else. If he continues he genuinely won’t be able to contain his emotions. “I think you should probably marry her first,” Noah smiles, “And you have our blessing for that.” Chris chuckles, the laugh escaping from who knows where. Thanks Noah.
“What do you mean our blessing, we hardly know Chris yet and you’re already saying they can marry?” Kiara frowns, and Noah sighs. “Kiara, my love. You were the one who bet on him trying to find our daughter, I thought you’d agree.” "Hold your horses, I was only kidding.” “You need to work on your timing, that was not a great time to kid.”
Chris is only half paying attention to their banter. His reason? He’s heard you, and now his brain is selectively tuning out your parents, instead fixating on the laughter in your voice. “Oli! C’mere boy let me take that leash off you hey?”
Chris slowly stands up, in a daze, and your parents quieten, watching as he progresses around the corner following the sound of your voice. When he sees you, he doesn’t know how he feels. Excitement? Fear? Trepidation? Relief? You on your knees, smiling as you unclip your dogs leash. You, so close, yet so far away, separated by a glass door.
Eventually, you look up. The surprise that flickers across your features at the sight of him standing beyond the glass door swiftly vanishes, replaced instead with a cold harshness. A look that makes him feel like he’s lost. He’s lost you. You drop the leash onto the outside table, then seem to contemplate him. When you slide the door open, Chris doesn’t know what to do, what to say, his rehearsed lines flying out the window.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you seethe, sliding the door shut behind you forcefully. “I’m here for you,” Chris croaks out, and your jaw clenches. (A/N: Please tell me someone remembers this parallel. It hurts me.) “How did you even-” you pause and sigh in resignation, “Ashley.” Then with a final glare directed towards him, you stalk past, ignoring him as he mutters your name repeatedly.
Immediately, you notice the pineapple juice and untouched croissant on the coffee table (A/N: And this parallel, the croissant guys), but your parents are nowhere to be seen. “Can we talk? Please?” Chris asks, following you as you scoop up the food and drink and unceremoniously dump them in the kitchen. “Go home Christopher,” you scoff, rummaging around in a basket full of vehicle keys.
“Home? I am home.” “No, you’re not. You’re in my house.” “It’s technically your parents-” “I don’t give a shit about technicalities, you’re in my house and you’re not meant to be. Get the fuck out,” you hiss, your voice rising. Chris stares at you, his soul evidently shattering piece by piece.
“I don’t understand,” he murmurs, his voice broken. “What’s there to understand?” you sigh, rubbing your forehead in frustration. “Why did you- why are you here, why did you leave… me?” “I broke up with you the way that I did so we wouldn’t have to go through this. I did that because- I said that I cherished you did I not? I didn’t want to go through this. This fight. This-” “Then don’t fight. We don’t have to fight, just come back to me.” You grit your teeth and brush past him again, scanning the dining table, looking for something, ignoring him.
“Why did you leave? I told you to not think about leaving under any circumstance, I said I would sort it out and I did. So why the fuck did you leave me? Why did you run? Why did you disappear? You left without warning, you left nothing behind. All I got was the worst fucking voicemail of my entire life and you expected me to just- live with that?!”
You breathe through your nose heavily and turn back to him, a fire burning in your eyes, “I thought you said you didn’t want to fight?” “I’m the one fighting here, I’m the one fighting for you. But I want to know why. Why am I fighting for you? I thought everything was fine. I thought-”
Finally, you crack, your voice exploding in a yell, “I LEFT BECAUSE I COULDN’T MAKE YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN STRAY KIDS OR ME!” Chris falls silent, staring as you pull out a chair and sit down, defeated. “I left because I knew you’d choose me. I knew you’d choose me over the career you’ve lost blood and tears for. And I couldn’t do that to you.”
“That’s not a decision for you to make,” Chris growls, his fists clenching by his side. “Yeah? Well I made it my decision to make.” “I can live, with both Stray Kids and you in my life. That is not a problem. There was no need to-” “Oh it’s not? It’s not a problem Chris?” you snap, standing back up and continuing your search for whatever… it is that you’re searching for.
“No! It’s not!” “Go back and watch your interviews. Go back and watch any fucking footage with you in it and it’s pretty fucking obvious that it’s a problem.”
You disappear down a hallway, and Chris speeds after you. After a brief knock on someone’s door, you push it open and poke your head inside. “Ry, have you got my bike keys?” you ask. “Who’re you fighting with? Is Chris here?” "Just give me my keys and go back to your game, god damn it. You got plans with my bike?”
Chris hears the jangling of keys and as you pull away from the door, a boy in his late teens peeks out, headphones resting on his shoulders. He blinks at Chris once, watching as you shove past him and out into the loungeroom again. “Hi. Nice to meet you Chris. M’name’s Ryan. Oh, and… a word of advice, never yell at a woman, it only infuriates them more.”
Chris grimaces and follows you outside again, trying to clear his head. “Look. Please. Just come back with me. Let me be yours again.” “Chris, I love you to bits. I love you so fucking much, but you need to let this go. You need to let me go. You can’t throw away your career, just for me.”
“You can love someone, but still let them go, simply because you do love them. I want to know why you love her and need her in your life.”
“I thought I was more than just an idol to you.” These words seem to strike your heart, and your hands fall limp at your sides. “You are…” you whisper, “Chris you are… you’re so much more than just an idol-” “Then why?” Chris whispers, pinching the fabric of his clothes.
When you don’t answer him, merely continue to stare, Chris continues at a whisper, tears beginning to pool at the bottom of his eyes. “I die. I’m dying. I will die over and over again, the longer you’re not by my side. The longer you-” “Then go die somewhere else.” (A/N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - NAH SCREW YOU. THAT WAS FOUL)
The silence is profound. It’s so loud that it’s ringing in his ears. He’s trying to take in your deadpan expression. Trying to suppress his tears, the threatening urge to scream in fury. The desire to pull you into his arms and never, actually never let you go. And he’s processing your words, each second passing a stab to his heart. He thinks, perhaps, this has been the most realistic stab he’s ever felt. The most painful.
Chris of course, is not lying when he says he’ll die every day without you. Naturally, you don’t know that. And naturally, you don’t know how badly you’ve just hurt him.
“You don’t mean that…” he whispers, walking towards you, trying to reach you, “take that back, you don’t mean that.” You take a step back and shake your head, Chris’ arm dropping to his side, his tears beginning to openly flow down his face. The sight makes your eyes start to sting, your heart shattering at his broken form. You turn away and head back outside again. Chris watches your retreating figure through the haze of his tears.
“Y/N,” he cries, eventually following you outside as you jam a helmet over your head and swing yourself over a motorbike, “Y/N where are you going?” As soon as the helmet obscures your face, you’re crying, and it’s with every last bit of resolve remaining that you start the bike in silence, not wanting him to hear your sobs. “Y/N!”
Before he can reach you, you take off, leaving him standing by the front gates, his hands holding his face, his tears trickling through his fingers. Chris stumbles back into the wall and sinks to the floor, burying his head in his hands. After a couple of minutes, he looks up at the sound of people moving around him, and immediately wipes his face upon seeing Noah, Kiara and Ryan standing above him, sympathetic expressions on their faces.
“Let her cool off, talk to her again later when she’s back,” Ryan helpfully says, his hands entrenched in his hoodie. “She shouldn’t be cooling off on her bike, I’m worried for her. She’s a bit of speed demon isn’t she?” Kiara mumbles, looking out at the open gates. “She’ll be fine. I taught her how to ride, she’s not stupid,” Noah grumbles, pulling Kiara into a side hug. “People can do stupid things when they’re in pain.”
Ryan’s last words only make Chris break down again, and he curls tighter into himself. “Come back to me,” he sobs over and over again.
--
You find yourself pulling your bike up to park by the beach. That’s perhaps the fastest you’ve ever ridden, the wind louder than your thoughts, stinging your skin into numbness. You’re shaking by the time you get off your bike, and you actually have no idea how you’re still alive. The dried tears on your cheeks feel cold in the air.
After propping your helmet up on your seat, you meander your way towards the water, stripping yourself of your shoes and socks so you can feel the sand between your toes. You’ve no idea why you’re here, of all places. You just rode until you couldn’t feel your fingers anymore. Rode until your legs were stiff.
The beach is Chris’ favourite place, so why are you here? The sun’s already beginning to set, and you sink down into the sand, watching the waves creep up to your toes, tickling them gently, then retreat silently. So blue. So endless. So cold. So peaceful. You think, that if you could decide how you die, you’d like to die in the sea.
--
You’ve been out for hours, sitting at the beach until you can’t feel your limbs anymore. When you finally return home, it’s dark, and you’re shivering from the cold. Your parents have gone out tonight. It’s their monthly movie night, and you hardly doubt they’ll break tradition just because Chris is here. If he’s still here. Ryan will most likely still be gaming in his room, and Dennis is at Uni, so it’ll just be you and Chris really. If he’s still here.
As quietly as you can, you slip inside, staring in a daze at the places where you and Chris were just fighting only hours ago. It’s not until you walk to go put your keys in the basket that you hear him, breathing softly on the couch. He’s sitting up, like he was waiting for you to get home, and again your heart breaks, your hand flying up to your mouth to quieten your sob. They all must have been worried for you. It wasn’t sensible of you, to tear up the road on your bike when you’re not in the right headspace.
You pad over to him and sit down on the coffee table, watching as he sleeps, his face free of pain, hurt and sadness. Just peaceful. “Why did you have to follow me here?” you ask softly, resisting the itch to push his hair out of his eyes. You’re sitting there, in silence, for a few more minutes before Chris whines in pain. His forehead is crinkled, eyebrows knitted together, and his hand darts up to his scrunch his shirt, twisting it into a knot.
“I don’t want to- no- no no no-” he murmurs, and you move to his side immediately, whispering soothing words, falling back into a familiar routine. “Chris, hey, I’m here, it’s okay.”
Chris takes a shuddering gasp and his flash open, wild and panicked. He’s moving around too much that it makes it hard for you to grab at his shirt… and he’s drenched. You blink and perform a once-over. He’s drenched. How is he- he was dry just a second ago- “Chris.”
He’s gasping wildly for breath, his hair stuck to his forehead, curls flattened out. “Chris why are you- how are you-” you’re grabbing him in bewilderment, trying to find a part of him that isn’t soaked with water. In the next second he’s coughing out water, buckets of it spilling out of his mouth. You yelp and jump out of the way, skittering backwards on the couch, and Chris finally seems to register your presence.
“Y/N?” he gasps, swaying and clutching his chest in a panic, “I can’t- I can’t- I’m drowning-” he coughs, and you can only stare at him in confusion. Out of nowhere, he grabs your arm and yanks you into him, hugging you tightly, tears leaking from his eyes as he trembles around you, his clothes soaking yours, his hands frigid with cold. Oh how you've missed his hugs - missed him. Almost immediately, Chris’ shuddering gasps cease, and you swivel in his arms in surprise, watching as the water seeping his clothes fades into nonexistence, his hair miraculously dries, returning to its previously fluffy state.
“I’m so confused,” you bluntly state, eyes wide. “I’ll explain, I’ll explain. Just don’t… just stay with me.” You curl back into his embrace as he tugs you closer, hiding his face in your neck, inhaling your warmth and scent like it’s his life force. “Stay with me,” he murmurs again, tightening his hold around you.
--
To save myself the difficulty of writing ‘explanation’ dialogue, he explains. Right from the beginning, everything to do with his connection to suicidal Stay’s, and how you’re connected to them too. You remain silent the entire time, absorbing the information. When he’s done, still hugging you tightly, he falls silent, and you can sense that he’s nervous.
--
“I understand if you don’t… believe me…” he eventually murmurs, nuzzling further into your neck, “I don’t really believe it myself…” “I believe you,” you whisper back, hand reaching up to stroke his curls, tears forming in your eyes again, “I believe you, I do.”
And then you’re explaining how you heard his inner monologue that day, on that bridge. And then you’re hugging him tighter and placing kisses on his head through your tears. And now you’re apologising, over and over again and Chris is sobbing with you, but he’s muttering a different set of words.
“I love you.”
--
Do you return back to your Café after this? Yeah. Yeah you do, and Ashley is overjoyed to see the pair of you walking hand in hand up to the Café. How’s JYP doing? Oh he’s fine. Rethinking his life choices after Changbin and Jisung confronted him again, stopping him from ruining Chris’ career. Don’t worry though, JYP isn’t all bad – he removed the restrictions on Chris from seeing you, truly amazed by Chris’ dedication to you.
There won’t ever be a day where the world is completely happy with your relationship with Chris, but as long as you march through it together, work through it together, everything will pan out okay. Just ignore the haters, who are they to get in the way of something so pure? Something so valuable?
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺
-> PART 7 -> Masterlist
youtube
A/N: Anyways, the ending was lowkey rushed, and I’m sorry about that – but it got harder to write the longer I wrote for. You don’t know how difficult it is to turn Chris into a sobbing emotional wreck.
Feedback is always appreciated, negative and positive alike. I apologise for any editing errors, I’m forever learning.
Until next read!! - Kaisowoo
#bang chan angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan fanfic#bang chan imagines#stray kids#skz#christopher chan bang#christopher chan#Youtube#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader
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Hey I really wanna request too but idk your guidelines for smut, what are you not willing to write? :)
Hello! First off, thank you for inquiring about this. I appreciate you respecting my boundaries and taking the time to ask before requesting! Second, apologies for not making this clear already. I’ve been meaning to make a comprehensive list of my guidelines but just haven’t gotten around to it yet ☹️
Here are a few standard guidelines I have for what I’m willing/not willing to write:
I WILL NOT write:
1. Anything illegal obvs (p*doph*lia, n*croph*lia, etc.)
2. Anything involving medical issues (cancer, any terminal illness, etc.)
3. Fetishes or kinks I’m uncomfortable with. (Urine/scat play, feet stuff, really extreme BDSM, gang banging (I’m okay with threesomes but more than that is a no!), public sex (specifically where someone who doesn’t consent is watching, I’m okay if there’s no one around.) those are a few of ones that come to my mind but I’ll specify if I get a request I’m uncomfortable with!
4. Anything where reader is actively facilitating cheating. I’m okay writing hurt/comfort as I’ve been cheated on before, but I won’t make the reader “the other person”.
5. Age play/pet play/anything depicting character as animals
5. Anal! Sorry just not comfy with it.
6. Pegging, I don’t know enough about it to write it properly and I don’t want to offend.
7. Anything specifying race/ethnicity/sexuality/weight/etc. fem readers are open to apply themselves to my characters, but qualities won’t be specified!
8. Male reader. I’m a woman and I’m comfortable writing in a woman’s perspective so my characters will always be fem! I don’t know enough about intimacy from another standpoint to be comfortable writing about it.
9. Other groups! I only write for skz right now.
10. Any real-life skz scenario. A skz family member death, any drama in the fandom, etc.
There are definitely more, but there’s a standard list for reference whilst I work on a longer one!
Here’s what I WILL write:
1. Hurt/comfort/angst
2. Smut- as long as I’m comfy w it! I like portraying sex & intimacy as a very special, tender moment between characters, so my smut will often be more detail-focused rather than specific kinks/fetishes. (Think sceneries, different positions, etc.) Always open to nsfw suggestions or hard thoughts as long as they are safe and reasonable!
3. Music series- I love taking lyrics as inspiration so I’ll always be open to song suggestions as they pertain to requests!
4. Classic tropes (friends 2 lovers, enemies 2 lovers, forced proximity, childhood friends, etc)
5. New ideas or suggestions (nothing from my “will not write” list) as long as I approve! Please don’t be afraid to ask if something makes me uncomfortable, happy to read through ideas first and go from there.
Happy requesting, have a wonderful day! 💫🌙
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Stray Kids: one shots, series, masterlist, reccomendations ֶָ֢ ·͜·
One shots
Untie. (s) On Bangchan’s birthday, Hyunjin gifts him the best birthday gift he could present to him, and that gift is you.
pay me // s.cb you're having the worst month of your life: you got dumped by your ex, lost your job and now your car has broken down. luckily, the mechanic knows a way for you to repay him.
B00Bs l.k not boobs in general; he’s more of a personality first, body second kind of guy. he loves your boobs, because he loves you.
raspberry sour // b.c after having a few too many drinks at your boyfriend's party you decide to sleep it off in his room. but your alcohol-riddled brain takes a wrong turn and you end up in chan's bed instead. don't worry, though; he will take good care of you.
track 01 — come over (feat. seungmin) the one where seungmin has more to offer than the answers to your finals
Pillow prince // b.c Summary: chan is tired and misses you so much it hurts. he thought he could wait another few weeks till the world tour ends before he could finally meet you again. but things happen and he finds himself needing you stronger than ever.
MINI SKIRT; YANG JEONGIN synopsis. jeongin is trying to remain the sane secure boyfriend, but you decided to wear the worlds most shortest skirt to dinner and he can't stand the way jisung is looking at you.
➵ 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃’𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 b.c
SUMMARY. you’ve been friends with hannah bang since forever, meaning that you would spend some time at her house and her at yours. your parents weren’t home so you decided to have a sleepover at the bang’s house but you got sick and couldn’t go with them to a family party. you decide to chill out and ended up in chan’s room, falling asleep as you were remembering some memories. but he came home unexpectedly…
just love me for me hj. synopsis: Hyunjin is tired of all the failed dates. He’s tired of people only wanting him for his looks or for his wealth. He just wants someone to love him for him. Hyunjin fails to see that person has been by his side all along.
Troublemaker bc. lf. x reader Summary: You live to tease your two friends during dance practice. Chan seems to finally had enough of your flirting and wants to give you a taste of your own medicine in his own way.
the enemies to lovers project | lee minho 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣: 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 -- 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘺, 𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥.
The Club bc. Synopsis: Friends to lovers such a cute trope... in theory. You go to the club with your two best friends and the clueless man you love, your roommate Chan. Will you be able to stand watching him hook up with yet another flawless girl that you could never compare to or are you finally at the end of your rope.
Kinkuary 17 Han Jisung — anonymous sex // restraint summary: Y/N has always wondered what it would be like to have sex with a total stranger and agrees to meet up with a stranger off the internet, like a total dumbass.
STILL STRESSED? — BANG CHAN ¡📍summary: being chan's best friend = being the happiest person on earth, he always do everything to make you happy, so you decide to do the same when he's beyond stressed.
i saw you and i knew | jeongin | summary- it had been 5 years since you last saw jeongin, your longtime crush. now you both have ended up in the same college away from your hometowns. it’s got to be more than a coincidence, right?
Masterlist
Stray Kids Masterlist
Lix-ables masterlist
J-0NE25 MASTERLIST
SKZ Sunshineseung Masterlist
Seospicybin Masterlist
MASTERLIST SSFW straylightdream
BangChan Masterlist
SKZ MASTERLIST Straylightdream
Hardstraykidshours masterlist
Charmercharm3r masterlist
Planet-dusk masterlist
Strayngesparkyds masterlist
Gimmeurtmi masterlist
Ballelino masterlist
Multifandomfantasies masterlist
Whlfchn masterlist
The Official ch4rm3r-skz Masterlist!
CHRISTMAS EVEL (18+!) MASTERLIST
Bbyquokka masterlist
Tasteleeknow masterlist
Spilledtee masterlist
Starseungs masterlist
Etrnlsanshine masterlist
SKZHUA'S STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST
≈ fae's skz masterlist ≈
Recommended
❀― ...[𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰]◌ೄ 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
BangChan Fics Recommendations
Series
One series //OT8
THE HEART OF THE SEA, bang chan
the girl in my memories //HJ
Jealousy is //OT8
my side | bang chan smau
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Familiar Taste of Poison - pt.3
⌦ Pairing: Wonwoo x Fem!Reader ⌦ Genre(s): series,, angst,, fluff ⌦ chapter specific genre: fluff,, angst ⌦ Warning(s): !!TW: LIGHT MENTIONS OF Drug Use, Alcohol Abuse, mentions of depression!!, reader kinda uses Wonwoo, a lot of this will be in multiple pov's(I will clarify when it changes pov's), some mention of being sick, swearing, most of this chapter is all Wonwoo's pov, Wonwoo goes on a date with someone else. ⌦ Word count: 3.07k ⌦ Summary: You and Wonwoo have been friends since childhood, though you're both a little estranged from one another, the only contact being when you call Wonwoo for help. ⌦ A/N: This chapter is a bit longer than the last two but a lot happens to push the plot forward. It's really random that I put skz in here but I needed someone who had a sister. Fun fact about me, cause it's brought up in this chapter: I'm allergic to apples. The end of this chapter almost had a bitch crying at 4 am. If there's anything you feel I should improve on in the future, don't hesitate to let me know! You can find progress updates on this story and everything else I write in my pinned post every Wednesday.:) ⌦ I have attached a link to a website with help hotlines around the world, this series has heavy themes of mental health and substance abuse. This link will be added to every chapter. ⌦ International Mental Health hotlines
⌦ Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6
⌦ marz’s tag list ⌦ marz’s req form
⌦(Wonwoo's pov) It had been a little while since he had heard from you; granted, you had never gone longer than a month without needing him to clean up your messes. This new-found silence from being your knight in shining armor allowed him to begin streaming again. For awhile, he had stopped because your calls of need would come in at least 4-5 times a week.
To say he missed you would be an understatement; he would lie awake after a long night of streaming, waiting for his phone to ring so he could pick you up. After three weeks of no calls, he began to believe that you had fully forgotten about him, all because of a little spat that he could've handled better. He had plans to express how he felt about you, but the world had different plans that day. Maybe you two just weren't meant to be friends anymore.
Wonwoo had tried to take his mind off things; he would distract himself by playing video games until the sun went down. That night, like every other night, he stayed up to play online with a few friends.
"If I die one more time because you're not paying attention, I'm gonna strangle you," Vernon threatened through Wonwoo's headphones. To be honest, Wonwoo was a little distracted today; he kept glancing down at his phone, hoping for a call, a text, or something.
"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind," Wonwoo replied, the sounds of his mouse clicking and keys clacking filling his room and his eyes beginning to grow tired from staring at such a bright screen for an extended period of time.
"Woo, you need to let her go. She's clearly not interested in your friendship and hasn't been for awhile," Minghao said. If Minghao were talking to anyone else, they surely would've been offended, appalled that he could say something so cold so calmly, but Wonwoo appreciated his honesty; he wouldn't want Minghao to be any other way.
"I agree with Hao; you should put yourself out there; stop waiting for someone who isn't hurting without you," Seungcheol chimed in, everyone having paused their game to give Wonwoo some free therapy while they sat in the Fortnite lobby.
"Are you guys suggesting a date?" Wonwoo asked, pushing his glasses up as he put his hands on his face, muffling his question just a bit.
"Well, I wasn't, but I know someone who'd be great for you," Seungcheol said. He could hear the shrug in his voice, playing matchmaker so nonchalantly. "I'll send you her info; she thinks you're cute anyway," he added. Within seconds, his words were emphasized by the sound of Wonwoo getting a text message. He glanced at the notification, half hoping it was from you and half hoping it wasn't.
It wasn't.
Wonwoo opened his phone, seeing that Seungcheol had sent her Instagram profile along with her phone number. He clicked on the link, leaning back in his chair as he scrolled through the professionally taken photos that filled the girl's profile.
"She is really cute," Wonwoo said, clicking on a few photos. There was a familiar face in a few of the photos, though they looked too much alike to be anything more than siblings.
"Seungcheol, is this Chan's sister?" Wonwoo asked, zooming in on one of the photos to get a better look at the girl's alleged brother.
"Bang Chan?" Seungcheol asked.
"Yea, Bang Chan,"
"Yea, why?"
"Just curious," Wonwoo said. He chewed on his bottom lip as he swiped back into his messaging app, looking down at the series of numbers Seungcheol had given him. "You said she thinks I'm cute?"
"Yeah, she talks about you all the time at work," Seungcheol said.
"Well, I'll text her when we get off. Wanna go for one more round?" Wonwoo asked, setting his phone down and getting ready to unpause the game.
"Sounds good," everyone said, continuing with their match.
One game turned into two.
Two games turned into four.
4 turned into 6.
By the time Wonwoo looked at the clock on the PC that displayed his Discord server, he was shocked.
3:26 a.m.
Wonwoo must have really had a lot on his mind; he never stayed up this late, not unless you had needed his help. He yawned, stretching his back when they were back to the games lobby, cracking his neck as it had grown stiff from sitting hunched over a keyboard for so long.
"I think I'm gonna get off guys, I'm getting tired," he said, not waiting for them to object before closing the game and turning his headphones, mic, and pc's off. Wonwoo grabbed his phone as he got up, walking to his closet to grab a pair of night pants and changing into them.
He unlocked his phone, looking at the number again as he began brushing his teeth. After a moment of hesitation, he finally added Hannah's contact information to his phone, messaging her as soon as he finished brushing his teeth.
⌦ Wonwoo: Hey, it's Wonwoo. I know this is super random, but Seungcheol gave me your number, if that's okay.
Wonwoo didn't expect an immediate answer; it was almost 4:00 in the morning. He looked at the unopened message as he left the bathroom, slipping his phone into his pocket and turning off the light. His phone dinged as soon as he walked into his room, and he only opened it once he had lied down in bed.
⌦ 3:55 a.m.
⌦ Hannah: Hey, Wonwoo! It's totally chill; why're you up so late? (Read 3:55 a.m.)
Wonwoo found himself smiling at her message and answering immediately.
⌦Wonwoo: I could ask you the same thing, lol. (Read: 3:57 a.m.) ⌦Wonwoo: But I was playing Fortnite with Cheol and a few other friends and lost track of time. (Read: 3:57 a.m.)
⌦Hannah: That sounds like a lot of fun. (Read: 4:00a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Why did Cheol give you my number anyway? (read: 4:00 a.m.)
⌦Wonwoo: Uh, he's trying to play matchmaker. (Read: 4:00 a.m.)
⌦Hannah: Right (Read: 4:01 a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Well, what are you doing tomorrow? (Read: 4:01 a.m.)
⌦Wonwoo: Nothing as of right now. (Read: 4:02 a.m.) ⌦Wonwoo: Why are you trying to ask me out? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)
⌦Hannah: Yea. (Read: 4:02 a.m.) ⌦Hannah: How's coffee sound tomorrow at noon? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)
⌦Wonwoo: You're straight to the point, aren't you? lol (Read: 4:03 a.m.) ⌦Wonwoo: But, noon tomorrow sounds great! (Read: 4:03 a.m.)
⌦Hannah: Great, I'll send you the cafe's info tomorrow. I'm about to fall asleep (Read: 4:03 a.m.)
⌦Wonwoo: Awesome, sleep well (Delivered: 4:04 a.m.)
Wonwoo reread the small interaction he had with Bang Chan's sister, smiling softly as he put his phone on the charger. He turned off his light, took his glasses off, and went to bed.
⌦(Wonwoo's POV cont) Wonwoo was thankful for his habitual routine of waking up at 9:00 a.m. every morning, regardless of when he went to bed. He forgot to set an alarm, having fallen asleep as soon as he put his glasses on his nightstand. Waking up this early gave him a few hours to kill before he had to get around, creating a schedule in his head for how long it would take him to eat breakfast, take a shower, shave, get dressed, and drive to the cafe. He planned on being 15 minutes early; he was always early.
Hannah had already sent Wonwoo the address of the cafe; thankfully, it was only a fifteen-minute drive from his apartment complex with traffic. He ate a light breakfast of two pieces of toast and a glass of apple juice; he'd be damned if he were going to willingly drink orange juice. He rarely ate toast, but with few food ingredients in his fridge or cabinet, toast was his only option.
With thirty minutes to spare after getting ready, Wonwoo grabbed his keys, locking his door as he left to go to his car. Hannah was already at the cafe when he got there, sitting in her car as she waited. Wonwoo parked next to her, pulling out his phone to let her know he was there. When she looked up from her phone, he waved at her with a smile, stepping out of her car to greet her on the sidewalk.
"Hey! I'm so glad you could make it," Hannah smiled as she pulled the taller male into a hug. Wonwoo was stunned at first; she surely was a bold woman, which he seemed to like about her.
"Why wouldn't I?" He chuckled, hugging her back for a moment before they pulled away and walked into the cafe.
It was a small cafe owned by a sweet elderly couple from France. The cafe always had French music playing softly through the store speakers; normally, Wonwoo would have found it nice and cozy, but today it felt cheesy. The two sat down after having ordered their drinks, exposing the poor barista to a small argument over who was paying for their drinks. Hannah won.
"So, tell me about yourself." Hannah smiled, taking a sip from her cappuccino before moving it to the side of the table so she could place her elbows on it, letting her chest rest against her forearms.
"There's not much to know," Wonwoo chuckled, swirling his straw around in his Americano and watching the ice move around with it. "But I'm in college for mechanical engineering, I stream on Twitch sometimes, and I'm a big Marvel buff," he said after a moment.
"Mechanical engineering? So you're smart and cute, huh?" Hannah teased, smiling at the redness that grew on Wonwoo's cheeks from her compliment.
"Tell me about yourself," Wonwoo said, directing the conversation back to the original topic.
"Well, I'm in college for fashion design; I also really like Marvel; and I want to get into PC gaming," she said. Wonwoo looked up at her, stunned that Seungcheol had finally set him up with a girl who shared some of his same interests, and he was already friends with her brother.
Wonwoo was pulled out of his thoughts as his phone rang in his pocket. He looked down at his pants and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Your name and contact photo were displayed on his screen; seeing this made his smile drop slightly. He clicked the side button, silencing the call, before looking up at the girl he was on a date with. "Sorry about that; I thought I put my phone on silent," he said as he placed it back into his pocket.
"It's no problem; if it's important, you can step out and answer it; I won't be upset," Hannah said, gesturing to the window that the two were sitting by. Wonwoo shook his head.
"It wasn't, and besides, it'd be rude to answer a call on our first date," he said.
"And you're considerate? Well damn, I might ask you to marry me right here," she laughed. She stood up after a moment, and in that moment, Wonwoo half expected her to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. Instead, she grabbed her coffee with one hand and his hand with the other, pulling him up from his seat. "Wanna go on a walk?" She asked, swaying their hands back and forth.
"Are you gonna murder me?" Wonwoo asked, grabbing his coffee from the table.
"I might," she winked, sipping her cappuccino once more.
"At least you're honest," Wonwoo chuckled. His phone began to ring again once they left the building. He looked at it and canceled the phone call.
"Wonwoo, if you need to answer that, I don't mind," Hannah reassured as they began walking along the pathway.
"I don't, I promise." He said.
The walk was nice, and Wonwoo and Hannah seemed to be getting along a lot better than he would have ever imagined. It didn't take long for it to start raining. May's weather was never consistent, which seemed to be the only consistent thing in Wonwoo's life. Inconsistency. Wonwoo had given Hannah his sweater as they walked back to their cars; only when Hannah safely got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot did he leave.
He looked at his phone for a moment, seeing that he had five missed calls and ten messages from you, asking for your help. He almost answered the texts, apologizing that he was busy and couldn't get to his phone. Just as he was about to send his text, he sighed, thinking about what his friends had told him only 12 hours ago. Instead of sending the text, he closed his phone and drove home.
⌦(Reader's POV) You groaned angrily when your phone went to voicemail for the second time. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering? Was he still mad? Your head began spinning, even though you couldn't tell if it was because of your impaired state or because Wonwoo was finally giving you a taste of your own medicine. You had ghosted Wonwoo for the better half of your freshman year of college, having found new friends and devoting all of your weekends to partying, so when you finally got ahold of him, he was shocked.
"He works from home; where is he?" You said it angrily, your plethora of messages having been delivered but unread for the better part of two hours. That was what really set you off. He couldn't even give you the respect to apologize.
Against your better judgment, you snatched the keys from your kitchen counter and stumbled out of your apartment, having decided to confront him at his apartment. You've had a few years of practice when it came to driving under the influence, taking back roads, watching the road extra carefully, and driving cautiously, it was easy. Parking your car, you stormed up to his apartment, noting that his car wasn't in the parking lot when you had gotten there.
You called him again.
and again.
and again.
Until finally, you gave up on calling him and decided to send him a hundred more text messages.
⌦You: Wonwoo, I need your help... (Delivered: 11:00 a.m.)
⌦12:45 p.m.
⌦You: Wonwoo, why aren't you answering me??? (Delivered: 12:46 p.m.)
⌦12:57 p.m.
⌦You: Hello? Where are you??? (Delivered: 12:58 p.m.)
⌦1:05 p.m.
⌦You: I'm at your place (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.) ⌦You: Hello!!!!! (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.)
Just as you were about to call him again, you saw that all of your delivered messages had been read. You watched as the three dots by Wonwoo's name appeared.
Then disappeared.
Appeared again.
Until they disappeared for a final time.
Your texts to Wonwoo began to be sent one right after the other, sitting with your back against his front door as you drunkenly blew up his phone. Fifteen minutes had passed before you saw a pair of feet standing in front of you. You looked up and saw the man in question.
Angrily, you stood up shoving your phone in his face as you began to speak.
"I've been trying to get ahold of you for two hours now! Where were you?!" You yelled, and Wonwoo gently pushed your phone out of his face. He looked down, unlocking his front door before opening it to let you in. He waited for you to walk inside, quietly apologizing to his elderly neighbor before stepping inside himself.
"I got coffee," he said, setting his keys on the table by his front door and taking his shoes off.
"It took you two hours to get coffee." You asked in disbelief, crossing your arms as your blurred vision did its best to lock onto him.
"You didn't let me finish," he continued. He sat the now-empty to-go cup on his kitchen counter. "I was on a date."
Your heart dropped, and you weren't sure why either. He was only your friend, your shoulder to cry on, and your emergency contact because you knew he would bend over backwards for you.
"Oh," you said.
"Yea."
"You still could have answered after she left," you said. Your anger had softened just a little bit.
"Why? So I can pick your drunk ass up from some stranger's front lawn? It's 2:30, and you're already fucked up." He said, "Your jaw dropped. What was his deal? Why was he being like this?
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick all of a sudden?" You asked.
"Because I'm tired of only seeing my best friend when she needs me to be her chauffeur because her other friends left her strung out on God knows what in some stranger's bathroom because she's too drunk to get home." He said. You could see that his words were hurting him just as much as they were hurting you; he wasn't making eye contact with you either. "I can't drop everything to come save you every time you need me; I have a life too," he said. This time his words were soft, almost upset that he'd finally told you how he really felt.
"Fine. I'll leave then." You said this, stepping toward the door only to have the pathway blocked off. "Wonwoo, get out of my way."
"No, I can't let you drive home like this," he said.
"Wonwoo. Get out of my way." You repeated. He didn't move.
"No," He said.
"Now you care about my safety?"
"I've always cared about your safety!"
"Evidently not; evidently it was a burden to you!"
"Do you know why I always dropped everything to come get you?" He snapped.
"To feel better about yourself?" You asked, your words laced with anger. Your eyes began brimming with tears, and your body began to shake. You need to get out of here as soon as possible.
"Because I love you, y/n!" Wonwoo snapped back. He stopped for a second, realizing what he had just said.
"What?" You asked, finally looking up at him.
"I love you.. and it kills me that you're killing yourself like this, but I can't be around you anymore if you're going to continue to hurt yourself. I will always love you, y/n; I hope you know that." He said this, grabbing his keys off the table once more. "Let's go; I'll take you home." You were sure this would be the last time you'd ever hear from him again.
#wonwoo#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo svt#wonwoo fanf#wonwoo im#wonwoo fanfiction#wonwoo angst#seventeen#seventeen fanfic#svt#vernon#hoshi#minghao#woozi#scoups#jeonghan#junhui#mingyu#joshua#seukmin#seungkwan#chan
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