#5 hours to cry about missing my mom and they were so patient and waited for me every time

[emets-selch]

Thinking about Dawntrail as an expansion again and man they really covered every parental issue you could have. Abandonment issues? BAM. Dawntrail has it. Abusive parent(s)? Dawntrail has it. Parent who loved you but still didn't fulfill all your needs/couldn't see how their actions hurt you? Dawntrail again! A beloved parent unresponsive in their death bed and you don't get to give a proper goodbye? You guessed it, Dawntrail!

Anyway the Graha line of "Have you wished to be reunited with someone who has passed away? I have. I do. But above all else, I wish they had lived. If only for one more day. One more day... a joyous one, if I could choose." Lives rent free in my head every day.

Anyway, all of Heritage Found/Solution Nine/Living Memory fucked me up and I'll never emotionally recover.

[vi-enti]

school’s over so back on the fanfic grind (a grind i have not openly shared on the internet since like. 2018), unsure if this is an idea to continue but i am thinking so hard... about the difficulties of the healing process. really gotta purge that poison

. . .

“Hello, this is… Hajime Hinata. The date is… I have no idea what the date is. It’s been 14 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes and 24 seconds since we woke up from the Neo World Program.”

“…I don’t know why I said it like that. It’s been about two weeks.” 

“Uhh… I’m not sure what to say here, really. Naegi—Makoto, that is—told me this would be a good way to get my thoughts down. That way if there’s anything I forget, or anything I want everyone to know after… Well, I don’t think I can really forget anything. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could.”

“Sorry there are so many quiet gaps. I’m trying to think about what I want to say... I guess I’ll start with the facts, and we can go from there. I was the first person to wake up, and then Sonia. Kazuichi took a few hours longer, he was so… his limbs were so scarred. I could barely tell the healthy tissue apart from all of the burns and cuts. When he got out, he just kept screaming and crying, he just kept—“

“Akane was next, but she was barely a shell, too weak, so Makoto put her back under for a few more days before waking her up. She wasn’t in the pod though, we—they moved her to a hospital bed in a different room. This facility really has everything. You wouldn’t believe the scale of the medical equipment, Tsumiki would love it—“

“Basically, Akane woke up a week after Kazuichi, technically, and then we put her into a medical coma for a while. We as in… I didn’t do that. I mean, I did, but it didn’t feel like me.”

“Actually, I never feel like… me. I don’t know who me is supposed to be now. I’m still him—I mean, I’m still me—but I’m not me— fuck, this doesn’t make any fucking sense, I just can’t— Sonia, don’t touch me—“

“…”

“…I want my mom. I don’t remember the last time I wanted my mom. I don’t even… remember my mom, anymore.”

“…Patient 5, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko. We plan to wake him from his induced medical coma today, following complications from his enucleation operation directly after awakening from pod sleep. There was an infection at the area of operation and I deemed it too dangerous to continue until it was cleared. Naegi had some objections, but his background is not medical, and does not always need to be taken into account. Patient 4 will simply have to wait.”

“He still has the damn thing.”

“…they all do.”

“Alter Ego, end recording.” Hajime slumped back against his chair, bringing a hand up to push his hair back. It was a newly acquired habit, one always accompanied by the feeling of missing something, like there wasn’t enough hair to run through his fingers. He hated it. Hated thinking that it wasn’t newly acquired at all, that whoever he was in the past few years did it all the time. 

That hadn’t gone nearly as well as he’d liked. These voice diaries were supposed to be records so they could explain things easier to the others once they all woke up, something to jog their memories. Privately, he was sure that Makoto had asked him to make them more for his own sake, as if they’d help somehow with all of the different thoughts running through his brain all of the time. If he spoke them out loud, then somehow they’d disappear. It was the compromise they’d settled on after Hajime had refused to attend Future Foundation-provided therapy. Most of the time they turned out exactly like this, not suitable for anyone’s ears except his own. 

Makoto was an idiot. Talking about it wasn’t going to stop the constant streams of thought in his brain, analyzing every thing and every action around him, picking apart the movements of his friends and their slight changes in tone, detecting every potential threat and every potential weapon for killing someone—fuck.

He was so tired of dreaming up all the ways people could die. His rare moments of sleep were already haunted by spears and giant Tetris blocks, by fire and poison and terrified faces. He didn’t need more deaths on his mind, constant echoes of terrors of his own creation. 

Sitting up properly, he stretched his arms out before standing up to examine his half of the room. At least two people kept watch in the pod room at all times, waiting for anyone to wake up next and making sure nobody died. It reminded him of the hospital in the simulation, someone always watching over Akane and Ibuki and—

An alarm beeped and Sonia, on the other end of the room, startled awake in her own chair. She had stayed on that side after Hajime shoved her away earlier, eventually drifting to sleep by Gundham’s pod. It was the one she stared at the most, blue eyes alight with grief and fury, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She was better off than Hajime, at least. One of his eyes stayed empty. Makoto had warned him that she shouldn’t be allowed to spend so much time with Gundham, but he could never bring himself to pull her away. Clearing his throat, he waited for the former princess to look up towards him. 

“Shift change. You should go sleep in an actual bed, I can wait for Kazuichi and Makoto if you want to go on ahead.” She shook her head, fingers trailing over the glass coffin holding the Ultimate Breeder. 

“No, that’s alright. You’ve been here long enough, you need to rest before Fuyuhiko. It’s only a few more hours away. Besides, I…” Sonia trailed off, gaze shifting to the pod next to Gundham’s, covered with a sheet. Everyone had to be checked on, but there was just one person Hajime couldn’t stand to see. The only person in the room that caused his dead eye to come to life. 

He couldn’t identify the emotion, but it had to be hate. It had to be, right?

At least he knew he wouldn’t be judged for it. Everyone had someone they couldn’t look at in this room, couldn’t face directly. Hajime was just the only one weak enough to require a sheet covering the pod. The only one who couldn’t be controlled if he had a fit of anger, or worse—one of despair. 

Swallowing back bile, he nodded, making a quick exit from the room to the quarters right next door. A large room had been set up with beds and necessities for them, the six that were here and constantly switching out. Kyoko had suggested separate rooms, but after multiple nights of Kazuichi sneaking into his room or Sonia screaming in her sleep from across the hall, Hajime had fought for them to all be together. Makoto, almost with a child-like excitement, had insisted that he, Kyoko, and Aoi stay there too. 

The lucky student in question had been sitting on the floor cross-legged when he walked in, laptop resting on a knee while he glared down at the screen. A glare from Makoto wasn’t usually all that effective, but whatever he was seeing seemed to be genuinely pissing him off. If Hajime had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have bothered disturbing the younger. Still, someone had to go fill in for him with Sonia until Kazuichi took over for her. The mechanic was nowhere to be seen—probably sitting at Akane’s bedside, as usual. Tapping Makoto gently on the shoulder, Hajime waited for him to look up from the email he had been so focused on. 

“Oh, you’re back! Has it been six hours already? I didn’t even notice.” It wasn’t a long time to spend watching the pods, but Aoi had insisted. They had three pairs switching out, and she didn’t want anyone spending more time in the pod room than they did outside of it, in the fresh air and the real world—or so she said. Hajime was sure it had more to do with her growing concern for the five of them, Kyoko and Makoto included. While they hadn’t been in the program nearly as long, they still seemed just a bit too pale to her. As for himself, Sonia, and Kazuichi… Aoi had never known them before, but worried nonetheless about irreparable damage. 

“Yes, I’m back. Will you find Kazuichi and tag Sonia out? She’s just finishing check-ups.” The shorter nodded, shutting his laptop and standing from his seat on the floor. “Everything alright?”

“It’s just Byakuya, he’s facing some problems bringing the medical equipment we need over to the island. The Future Foundation doesn’t see the need to care for some of the pre-existing conditions your class has, they’re just barely allotting enough supplies for taking care of the… last bits of Junko. It’s like you aren’t even humans to them, they just have no empathy!” Makoto rubbed his temples, forcing a weak smile onto his face. It hadn’t escaped Hajime that the bright-eyed boy that they had met in the final trial and the tired man before him right now seemed so far apart from each other. Because of us—because of me. 

“We aren’t human to them.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. “But we are to you. You’re the best of them, Makoto. I know you’ll work things out.” The younger’s smile twisted, not exactly happy, and he nodded in response. 

“Right. The Ultimate Hope, that’s me. I have to be able to fix this.” Hajime raised an eyebrow, not meaning that at all, but Makoto was already walking out of the room to take over watch duties. That had gone… stunningly bad. Whatever part of his soul had been able to produce hope for the others in the Neo World Program had been hiding, his mind and body too used to the actions and words of another. Another who had no idea how to give someone hope for the future, much less comfort someone just the slightest bit. All Hajime seemed to be good at these days was making things worse. 

A warmth squeezed around his hand, like someone urging him to stop thinking, and he yanked it away from—from nothing. There was nobody there. He just needed to get some rest before Fuyuhiko’s surgery today. 

Two beds remained empty, waiting for their last members. Akane was awake, but still too weak to leave her hospital bed, and Fuyuhiko would join them today. Hopefully. Sitting on his own perfectly made bed, he wondered if all of the remnants would end up sharing a room for the rest of time. The three of them awake so far had their nightmares, some worse than others, and it was impossible to imagine the rest being able to sleep easy after all that had happened. It was too easy to imagine everyone around the room, as if their spaces were already there waiting for them. Glancing around, Hajime could imagine each and every one of them smiling at him, if he could just bring them all back, if he could just wake them up. 

A flash of pink and white hair danced at the corner of his eyes, a gentle smile and a false one, and he slammed his head down on the bed, covering his vision with a pillow. Sleep now, hypotheticals later. Hypotheticals that could never, ever be reality anyways. It was dangerous to get lost in thoughts of a happy ending. 

He didn’t deserve an ending just yet. There was too much to fix. 

[princehrry-writings]

Legal Guardian

ugh this took way too long lol, but here it is!!! i forget exactly that sparked this but i thought it was a cute idea.

warnings: injuries (nothing major), hospitals, cursing, harry being a protective dad 🥺, talks about adoption and legal guardians, crying

wordcount: 2481

harry styles x reader, stepdad!harry x reader, stepdadharry x oc!stella

masterlist

Stella gets hurt and Harry is the only one there- but he has no legal jurisdiction…

.

.

.

It all happened really fast. Harry can’t even recall how it started, but he knew very well how it ended. A sobbing Stella strapped into her car seat as he raced to the emergency room, frantically calling Y/n who was in a different state on a work trip.

The 5 year old didn’t understand what was going on, she just knew she was hurting… really bad. And that she wanted her mommy and daddy.

The traffic seemed to be working against him, getting in his way at the most inconvenient times, all the while he was trying to console his weeping daughter, crying out “Daddy it hurts so bad!” effectively shattering his heart into a million little pieces.

Stella had been playing happily in the backyard at home, showing off her wonderful dance moves to Harry who watched with an adoring smile on his face, taking little videos to send to his fiance, when suddenly she was laying on the ground, clutching her ankle, and crying for him to come get her. He rushed into action, not having seen her take the fateful step into what must have been a hole in the ground or something.

Screeching into the hospital car park, he stops somewhere he obviously wasn’t supposed to but he couldn't care less. His mind was racing. What if she broke her ankle? Or tore a ligament? What if she has to get surgery? All of this is what he worries about as he flings the back door of his car open, trying his best to appear calm for his daughter (but it’s not really working), and scoops her carefully into his hold, bringing her inside and shouting for someone to please help him.

A few nurses rush to his side, asking him different questions and asking for someone to “Page Dr. Robbins, tell her we need a peds consult.”

Stella is whisked away from him and before he can start to follow after her, a hand is placed on his chest, stopping him in his place.

“Sir, we can’t have you in the room with her. You’re not on her file as a legal guardian!” A doctor tells him. In that moment, he sees nothing but red, steam pouring out of his ears.

“The hell I can’t, I’m her father! I’m not going to let her sit in there all alone while strangers poke and prod at her!” He all but yells at the man. Harry is not violent. He really isn't. But he’s not afraid to lay somebody on their ass when it comes to his girls. With kindness or course. And maybe a black eye.

From the room she was taken into he can hear her crying for him.

“Wan’ my daddy! Daddy!” Harry didn’t think his heart could break any further than it already had but he was proven wrong by the ache in his chest that only grew stronger the longer he was kept away from his lovebug.

“Doctor, respectfully- if you don’t move the hell out of my way, I will move you myself. That is my daughter, and my fiance is in a different state right now on a business trip so I am the only parent she has right now. If you try to keep me from my child I will take legal action against the hospital and sue for everything you’re worth. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Harry is seething, trying to move past the man in the white lab coat and light blue scrubs. Again, he is stopped.

“I will call security, sir!”

“DADDY!” Stella is now screeching, her little voice hoarse from all the yelling and crying.

“Don’t you fucking hear that? She needs me, and you’re telling me I can’t go be with her! What the hell kind of doctor are you?” Harry is in the man's face, pointing at him vehemently. He doesn’t care that people are starting to watch the scene. Doesn’t care that some people have recognized him and are recording the ordeal. Let the people see him fighting for his family. He doesn’t give a rat's ass if his “image” takes a hit. His daughter is on the line and he won’t back down.

“She’ll be fine-”

“No she won’t! Go ahead and call security. My daughter needs me and you’re not going to stop me from being in that room with her.” With that he pushes past the doctor (who must be an intern or something with how he’s handling this situation) and rushes into the room where his baby is screaming for him. He’s at her side in a matter of seconds, wiping the tears from her face, peppering kisses onto her head, petting her wild hair back from her face, just consoling her in any way that he can.

How fucking dare they try to keep him from her, especially when she’s in a state like this.

“It’s ok baby girl, daddy’s here now. I’ve got you. You’re ok, you’re ok!” He mumbles into her hair, doing his best to stay out of the way of the people examining her but still close enough so she knows he’s right there with her.

Little tears still streamed down her face but she was much calmer now, her breathing more even and body less tense.

“Mr. Styles we’re bringing in the portable x-ray to take a look at her ankle, so you’re going to need to wear this.” He nods and takes the vest given to him, putting it over his shoulders like he sees the others do. A similar article is placed over Stella, who is clinging to Harry’s hand, fearing that she’s going to have to be without him again. But he promises he isn’t going anywhere.

As they’re taking the x-ray his phone starts ringing in his pocket and he checks to see that it’s Y/n calling him back.

“H, what’s wrong, is she ok?” Her panicked voice rushes out as soon as the call connects.

“We’re in the ER right now and she’s getting an x-ray to see what’s going on with her ankle-”

“You’re in the room with her right? She’s not alone?”

The little shards of his heart keep breaking into smaller and smaller pieces as her voice breaks.

“Yeah, I’m right next to her. Don’t worry m’love, she’s not alone!” He glared at the doctor that tried to keep him out as he said that, letting him know he hadn’t forgotten.

“I’m gonna facetime you so I can see her.” She said and he nodded, waiting for it to come through. When it did he quickly accepted it, seeing the love of his life’s face on the screen, with her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks as she wiped away the remaining tears so she didn’t freak out her baby.

“Stell, mumma’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”

“Hi baby girl!” Y/n said as soon as Harry held the phone so Stella could see her mom. The little girl's tear stained cheeks looked exactly like her moms, and her heart broke for her baby.

“Hi mumma,” Stella pouted into the camera, clutching onto her daddy as tight as her little hand could. Harry was a little uncomfortable but he would take this over not being in here at all.

“How do you feel, baby? You ok?” She asked.

“My foot hurts and they wouldn’t let daddy in here and I was scared, but he’s here now so I’m ok.” The little girl rambled off. Y/n almost missed how she said they wouldn’t let Harry in the room but when it finally registered, she was fuming. Absolutely, royally pissed.

“What do you mean they wouldn’t daddy in there?” Stella shrugged and looked up at Harry for an answer. He brought the phone back so he could see her after looking around at the doctors in the room, all doing their job and pretending they weren’t listening to this conversation, but a few of them winced when Y/n asked her question.

“Some bloke tried to keep me out of the room while Stella was being examined but she was on the verge of a whole breakdown. It was like Disneyland in Paris all over again.” He said, referencing the time Harry took his girls to Disneyland while they were in Paris and Stella got separated from her mom and dad. She had never not been able to see at least 1 of her parents before. Needless to say… she didn’t handle it very well. Screaming, crying, and hyperventilating (which freaked her out even more- causing her to scream louder and cry harder) ensued very shortly, disturbing every person around her. But it made it easy for them to find her and she spent a very very long time clutching her tiny arms around her daddy’s neck, not letting him set her down for anything. That was an interesting trip to the bathroom …

“Why would they try to keep you out of the room? You’re her father!” Y/n was on the verge of popping a blood vessel. Of course the one time her baby really needs her, she’s hours away.

“Uh, Mr. Styles, I’m so sorry to interrupt! But the x-ray is complete. There’s no break, it looks like a sprain at worst. Also, about why my intern was saying you weren’t allowed in the room, not that I was listening to your conversation, with ped’s cases we typically only allow legal parents or guardians in the room and your name isn’t anywhere on her file or on her records so he was just trying to follow safety protocols. He didn’t go about the situation as well as he should have because we always want to make sure our patient has what they need and that was obviously you- but that is the reason why you initially weren’t let into the room. You’re not a legal parent or guardian. Based on your situation- you’re legally considered a step-parent and that title doesn’t come along with any legal jurisdiction.” Dr. Robins explained, in quite a few words Harry thinks, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Just sits and realizes that while for the better part of a year and a half, he’s been calling himself Stella’s dad but the whole he’s not been anything… not legally anyway.

Y/n realizes this too and makes a mental note to call their lawyers to do something about that.

“That makes sense… Thank you, Dr. Robbins! I have her mum on the phone, but you knew that, so if there’s anything else I legally can’t do, she’ll have to take care of it like thi-”

“Mr. Styles, we won’t tell if you don’t! Anything else that needs to be signed, we’ll just go ahead and have you do it. Save the hassle for everyone.” Dr. Robbins interrupts him and he smiles, silently thanking her.

“Daddy, what's a legal guardian?” Stella asks after a quiet moment.

“A legal guardian is someone who takes care of you because the law says they can. So because I didn’t help mumma make you and I came into your life a little later, I’m not a legal guardian of you. Not yet anyway.” He mumbles the last part but Y/n catches it.

“Does everyone have a legal guardian?” She hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes with the hand that wasn’t clutching Harry’s.

“At one point yeah, but once you get older you don’t need one anymore because you can take care of yourself.”

The girl pauses, thinking about her daddy’s words before muttering “Don’t wanna take care of myself. Wanna stay with you and mumma forever.”

All the little shards of his heart slowly start to piece back together.

“I want you to stay with me and mumma forever too lovebug.” He cooes. Y/n’s eyes light up, her gaze filled with adoration for her little family.

. * .

*

“The documents are all drawn up Mrs. Styles, everything is ready for your husband to sign.”

“Thank you so much Ben!”

. * .

*

“Baby, c’mere. Wanna talk to you about something.”

“Yeah mommy?”

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to quell the tears she could already feel threatening to fall. Her newly wed husband sat beside her on the couch, running his hand along her back and squeezing her shoulder and letting her know he was there if she needed him.

“Do you remember when you and Daddy had that conversation about legal guardians?” The woman asked, pulling her baby into her lap, brushing her hand over the girl's hair affectionately.

“Uhhh, kinda.” She murmured, curling into her mom.

“Do you remember what a legal guardian is?” Y/n rephrased, hoping to jog the girl's memory. Stella nodded and when prompted by her mother explained that “It’s someone who takes care of you until you're old enough to take care of yourself.”

“That’s right baby, very good!”

“And do you remember when we were at the hospital and that doctor was being mean, not letting Daddy into the room with you?” Harry chimes in, scooting closer to his girls. She nodded with a roll of her eyes and a huff of breath, causing a little giggle to erupt from her parents. She really is her mothers daughter.

“Didn’t like him.” She mumbles.

“Do you remember why they didn’t let him into the room?” Y/n asks, knowing she should probably get to the point before her little one checks out and gets bored.

“Cause daddy’s not my legal guardian.” Stella huffs again, rubbing her eyes and nuzzling further into her mom.

“Do you want him to be?”

Stella’s quiet for a moment, tapping her little finger on her chin like she’s thinking hard. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? You want that baby?” Harry asks, pulling her into his lap. The girl wraps her arms around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder, nodding.

“Yeah, Daddy. Want you to be able to come to the doctors with me.” She mumbles sleepily.

The tears Y/n had been fighting off finally broke through, despite her efforts. It’s official. Harry is going to adopt Stella and they would be a family in every sense of the word. No one would be able to take Harry's little girl away from him. All he had to do was sign the paper. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes as well, smoothing his hand along his baby’s back.

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that…” He says, squeezing her a little tighter. Y/n snaps a quick picture before she snuggles into them.

“Love you Mommy, love you Daddy.” She murmurs before falling asleep in Harry's arms. Something that isn’t new, but feels different now for some reason. Things felt a little more official and he hadn’t even signed the papers yet.

[massivedrickhead]

Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 5

July 30th: “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Read on AO3

This is heavy heavy angst. It’s pretty sad (imo) and also kinda long. So, you know, read at your own risk.

-

With a throbbing in her hip, and a tight pain across her chest, Beca eased herself out of the cab she’d taken, and looked up at the entrance to Barden Nursing Home.

Although she visited several times a week, it seemed like they added more stairs each time she came.

“Can I give you a hand ma’am?”

“Well that depends, Raheem,” Beca said. Her voice wasn’t as strong as it had once been, but anyone who knew her could still detect the bite of sarcasm that filled almost every sentence. “Are you going to call me ma’am again, or are you going to call me Beca?”

Raheem smiled at her from his driver side window.

“Come on Mrs Mitchell, I can’t call you that. What would my grandmother say if she knew I was disrespecting my elders?”

Beca laughed and shook her head. “If you insist.” She held out an arm for him to take, and he left his cab immediately.

Truthfully, she didn’t think she’d make it up on her own anymore.

The doctor had given her a year, give or take, but she knew her own body.

This would be her last visit to Barden Nursing Home.

“Do you want me to wait with the cab?” Raheem asked when they reached the entryway.

“No, no,” Beca said. “The girls are meeting me here, they can drive me home.”

“I’ll see you next week then?”

Probably not. “I’ll give you a call.”

Raheem was Beca’s favourite driver and he happened to be the owner of the cab company, so he always made sure he was the one to drive Beca to her destination.

His mother had been a fan of hers, he’d told her during one of their first journeys, which made her feel older than she was. Or older than she thought she was. It still surprised her when she looked in the mirror and saw an old lady looking back at her.

She didn’t really recognise herself anymore.

Now that her hair was grey, her back slightly hunched, her joints sore and swollen.

They had taken her drivers licence a few years back due to her deteriorating eyesight, and her hearing wasn’t what it was.

And now her lungs were shot. Her liver. Her heart.

Her body was failing her, worsening by the day.

She was in almost constant pain, but she still had her mind. Her mind remained as sharp as it ever was.

For that, she was grateful.

Most of the time, anyway.

Leaning on a cane, with a bunch of flowers in her other hand, she made her way through the reception area.

“Morning Beca,” one of the nurses greeted her warmly. “She’s in her room today, didn’t feel like being social.”

“Thanks hun,” Beca replied. “How is she?”

“One of her better days.”

Good, Beca thought. That’s good.

If today was going to be her last visit, she wanted it to be a good one.

She knocked on door 216, and waited for a response.

“Come in,” came a voice that was both achingly familiar yet totally alien.

“Hi,” Beca said, smiling warmly as she entered the room.

Chloe was sitting in a chair by the window, a blanket over her knees.

Her once red hair was now silver, tied in a neat ponytail. She was still looking outside, but Beca knew her bright blue eyes were now milky and flat. Clouded.

Chloe turned to face her visitor.

“Can I help you?”

Beca felt something hard lodge itself in her chest.

She would never get used to this feeling. She never wanted to get used to this feeling.

She waited for a sign of recognition. A smile or a twinkle, but there was nothing.

Chloe simply looked at her with a patient curiosity.

Well, Beca thought. That’s that, then.

“I was just wondering if you would like some company? I’m new here and I don’t really know anyone.” She placed the flowers in an empty vase of water that she knew the nurses had left there for her, like they did every time she visited.

“Yes, okay. That would be fine,” Chloe said. “I’m Chloe Beale.” She held out her hand for Beca to shake.

Beca shook it, trying not to let the stab of pain show on her face at the sound of Chloe using her maiden name.

“Beca Mitchell,” Beca said, fighting the urge to cover Chloe’s hands with both of her own.

Even after all these years, Beca still wanted nothing more than to pull Chloe into her arms and kiss her.

She couldn’t remember the last time they’d really kissed. The last time they’d lain in bed together while Chloe ran her fingers through Beca’s hair. The last time Chloe had been Chloe.

Chloe’s diagnosis and the progression of her illness had been sudden and devastating and brutally quick.

It was so cruel, Beca thought almost every minute of every day, that she still had Chloe so close yet she couldn’t have been further from her.

“I’m afraid you can’t stay too long,” Chloe said. “My daughters are coming to visit later.”

She remembers the girls, Beca thought. That’s good.

Some days Chloe had no recollection of their daughters. Some days, Chloe had no recollection of any of them.

But once in a while, God, it was so rare now, Chloe would remember Beca and who they’d been together.

“Is that so?” Beca asked. “How old are your daughters?”

“Oh, I don’t know, middle-aged-ish. One’s older than the other,” Chloe said, waving a dismissive hand. “Of an age where they think they’re old but they don’t know they’re actually still very young.”

“Hmm, they must be the same age as my kids. What are their names?”

“Well there’s Blake and, um… shoot. I had it. Begins with a B…”

No it doesn’t.

“No it doesn’t,” Chloe said, shaking her head. “Hayley.”

Riley.

“Riley!”

Beca smiled. If only I could get you to remember me so easily.

“Do you have grandkids?” Beca asked.

“No,” Chloe said with a sigh.

Yes you do. You have four, and they’re beautiful.

“Do you?”

“Yes,” Beca said. “A little too much energy for me to handle these days.”

Chloe seemed to study Beca for a fraction longer.

“You know, you look a lot like my wife. Older, of course, but there’s something about the nose and the smile…”

Beca laughed because if she didn’t she would cry. “Is that right? Well to be honest I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look a lot like my wife.”

“How weird,” Chloe said.

“She was beautiful, just like you,” Beca said, fiddling with the wedding band she still wore.

“Is she still with us?”

Beca looked into Chloe’s eyes, searching for some semblance of the Chloe Beale she had fallen in love with. Searching for a glimmer of recognition. A spark. Anything.

“No,” Beca said. “We lost her a few years ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Chloe said, placing her hand on Beca’s as if that’s where it was meant to be. “How awful for you. You must miss her terribly.”

Beca let out a small laugh and tears filled her eyes.

It was unbearable to mourn someone who was sitting two feet in front of you.

“More than anything. We had,” Beca swallowed hard but her voice still broke when she spoke again, “the best life together. She was my best friend… my everything.”

Chloe squeezed her hand. “How lucky you are to have felt love like that. To have loved so strongly that even after all these years you’re still…” Chloe trailed off and looked out of the window again.

“Did… is your wife still with us?” Beca asked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

“My… sorry, what did you say?”

“Is your wife still alive?”

“Oh, I don’t have a wife dear,” Chloe said, smiling. “This ginger is single and ready to mingle as my grandkids would say.”

Again, that knife in her heart.

Her grandkids were back, replacing her wife, and with them a spark of the old Chloe.

“Maybe you’ll meet someone here,” Beca said, the sadness taking hold of her now. Settling into her bones in the same way that the damp made her hip throb. “It’s never too late.”

“God, you’re crying, are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine,” Beca said, smiling. “Just thinking about my Chloe has made me go all… well… foolish is probably the best word.”

“Your… Chloe?”

“My wife,” Beca said. “Her name was Chloe.” She swallowed as she looked at the uncomprehending face before her. “She was beautiful. So beautiful. Red hair and bright blue eyes and she was kind, and good, and safe. She was my best my soulmate. And she had a voice like an angel. I’d give…” Beca swallowed again, “I’d give anything to hear her sing again. To hear my Chloe sing again.”

“Beca…”

“Do you know what she said to me the first time we kissed? She promised I would never lose her. We were in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn and she promised I wouldn’t lose her. But that’s the kind of promise only a kid could make. They have no idea, how could they?”

“Beca.”

Chloe’s hand gripped Beca’s and squeezed it. Tight.

“My… Beca?”

And there she was. Back like she’d never gone away.

“Chloe? You… you remember me?”

“Of course I remember you,” Chloe said. Then her eyebrows furrowed, and she looked around her room. “This isn’t our house.”

“No.”

Chloe swallowed and nodded. “I’m… I’m not well, am I?”

Beca sniffed and shook her head.

“Alzheimer’s?”

“Ah ha,” Beca said, fighting to keep her voice steady.

“Like my mom… How long?”

“T-two years,” Beca said. “I tried to take care of you but then I fell and broke my hip and I just… I couldn’t manage on my own anymore. The girls insisted. You’ve been here for about a year. You… you seem happy.”

Beca knew this lucidity wouldn’t last.

Chloe would be gone again, and probably soon.

This was her last chance.

“I love you, Chloe Mitchell, do you hear me? My heart belongs completely to you. And one day… one day soon, I’m not gonna be able to come and visit you anymore. And there may be days where you remember me, but you won’t remember I’m gone, and you’re gonna feel hurt and betrayed. You’re going to think I abandoned you,” Beca squeezed Chloe’s hand again, “but I promise you, if it was up to me, I would never leave your side.”

“So stay,” Chloe said, her voice breaking. “Stay with me.”

Beca gave her a sad smile. “In a few hours, you won’t remember me, baby.”

“How could I ever forget you?”

“Mom?” A voice spoke up from the doorway, and Beca turned to see Blake and Riley standing there. “Is everything-”

“Girls!” Chloe said, brightly. “Come in and meet my new friend Beca.”

No.

Not yet.

Please, not yet.

“Your new friend Beca?”

Beca forced the smile back onto her face, and she stood up.

“Nice to meet you,” Beca said, looking into the faces of her daughters. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She turned to face Chloe.

“You’re leaving?”

“I should let you have some time with your girls,” Beca said. She took Chloe’s hand in hers, and looked at her wife for what would be the last time. “It was truly a pleasure meeting you, Chloe.”

“I’ll see you again I hope?”

Beca smiled. “Of course. You’ll remember what I said?”

Chloe tilted her head, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“It’s okay,” Beca said. “I know you heard it. It’ll come back to you when you need it.”

“Okay,” Chloe said, still confused. “Do you think… would it be okay if we hugged? You can ask the girls, I’m a hugger.”

She heard a small sniff and she saw Riley quickly leave the room.

“Allergies,” Blake said, quickly.

“Of course we can hug,” Beca said. “I’ve had a wonderful afternoon with you Chloe.”

Chloe stood, her blanket slipping off her lap, and she wrapped her arms around Beca, and Beca hugged back as tight as she dared.

She buried her face in Chloe’s neck and breathed in.

She still smelled like Chloe.

“You know Beca, I think we’re gonna be really fast friends.”

And everything inside of Beca broke.

“Hey, what is it?” Chloe said, softly as Beca clung to her and cried.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Blake said. She stuck her head out of the door and called to her younger sister.

Chloe shot Blake a look of confusion as this apparent stranger sobbed into her shoulder.

“You’re okay,” Chloe said, softly. “Come on, now, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

“I love you,” Beca whispered into her ear, choking it out between sobs. “Don’t forget that, okay? I love you.”

“Okay, that’s, um, very nice,” Chloe said.

Beca’s chest started feeling tight as she struggled to get air into her lungs.

“Why don’t you sit down? We can call a nurse and-”

“No,” Beca said, quickly, struggling to suck air into her useless lungs. “I just need… in my bag.”

“Here,” Blake said, handing her her inhaler.

“Thank you,” Beca said, taking several deep puffs from it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry, Chloe.”

She looked at Chloe again, and knew with certainty it was for the last time.

She had gotten a couple of minutes with Chloe - the real Chloe - this afternoon and that was more than she could have hoped for.

“It really was lovely to meet you Chloe,” she said.

“Yes, you too,” Chloe replied, although she sounded less than convincing. “See you another time?”

“I look forward to it,” Beca said.

“Riley, why don’t you make sure… Beca, here, gets to where she needs to be,” Blake said, looking between her parents with pain in her eyes.

“Sure,” Riley said.

When they were away from the room, Riley pulled her Mom into a hug.

“That was a rough one, huh?” Riley asked.

“Unbearable,” Beca said. “She was… she was back. I had her back for like, five minutes. And then…”

Riley kissed her on the head. “Come on, I’ll get one of the nurses to get you some tea and when we’re done we can drive you home.”

Beca frowned. “It’s Thursday. Is Blake not doing dinner?”

“No, she is, but you don’t usually feel like company after a bad visit,” Riley said.

Beca waved a hand of dismissal. “I wanna spend some time getting climbed on by my grandkids. Will your new lady be joining us?”

Riley blushed like a teenager, despite being in her forties. “Not tonight, Mom. It’s a bit soon for a family dinner.”

“Oh come on, you’ve been dating for months! I want to meet her, I have so many embarrassing stories to tell!”

“I know you do,” Riley said. “Which is why we’re gonna wait a few more weeks before we scare her off. Don’t worry, there are endless amounts of family dinners ahead of us for you to embarrass me at.”

Beca smiled. “Okay,” she said.

She hadn’t told the girls she was sick. They had enough in their plates with Chloe, and she didn’t want to add to it.

When the time came, yes, she knew they’d be hurt. She knew that hurt didn’t even come close to covering it. They had all but said their goodbyes to Chloe, but they had no idea that Beca would be beating her to the afterlife.

She knew if she asked them, they’d rather she told them.

It was cruel to blindside them, but in a way wasn’t it crueler to have them watch her slowly waste away in a hospital? To leave them saddled with medical bills that their inheritance would only just cover?

Because she knew her girls, they wouldn’t just let her slip away. They’d want her to fight, and Beca was too tired for fighting.

No. She wouldn’t do that to them. She had already written letters for all of them - including Chloe - and she had left instructions with her solicitors that they would get handed out after her death.

In her will, she’d left most of her money to her daughters and Blake’s four kids, along with a lump-sum donation to Barden Nursing Home.

Her affairs were in order.

The girls didn’t need to know.

“Mom? Are you ready?”

Beca smiled as her daughters approached, and she gratefully took Riley’s hand when she offered it.

She was quiet on the drive back to Blake’s house.

“Sure you’re up for dinner, Mom?” Blake asked, glancing at her in the rear view mirror.

Beca smiled and nodded.

That night she basked in the attention of her grandkids.

The two twin boys - Jackson and Christopher, aged seven - kept trying to explain their favourite show to their grandmother.

They kept acting out scenes, speaking in odd voices, shooting each other with fake guns.

Beca tried to follow along but really she just wanted to watch them play.

The youngest - Davey, four - sat comfortably on her lap.

“Gram read it?” He said, holding up a book.

“Again?” Beca asked.

“Please?”

“Okay,” she said.

“Grandma!” Christopher said, pulling her attention back to him. “Grandma! Look! Then the bad guys do this!” He aimed a finger gun at his brother and deepened his voice. “Prepare to die!”

“Ah ha,” Beca said.

“Gram,” Davey tugged at her sleeve and then placed a hand on his book.

“Sorry,” Beca said, picking up where she left off from.

The noise and distraction was welcome.

It kept Beca’s mind from wandering. She needed a few hours where she wasn’t mourning Chloe.

It was working until ten year old Anne walked into the room, looking far too somber for any ten year old.

“Who’s upset you then?” Beca asked. “I might be old but I can still throw a punch.”

Anne smiled, but only just. “Is grandma better yet?”

Beca frowned. “No, honey. I’m sorry.”

Anne had been the apple of Chloe’s eye right up until the moment she started to forget her.

Blake and her husband David had made the decision early on that the kids shouldn’t visit Chloe. It would be too hard for them to see their grandma and have her not recognise them.

“Is she going to get better soon?”

Beca let out a small sigh. “I don’t know,” she said.

Anne’s face fell, and Beca’s heart broke.

She wished she didn’t have to leave these kids behind.

“Listen, your grandma loves you very much. And so do I. And we always will, no matter what.”

Davey started to fuss on Beca’s knee, and she turned her attention back to him.

“If I wrote grandma a letter, would you give it to her?” Anne asked. “I don’t want her to think I’ve forgotten her.”

Tears filled Beca’s eyes, and she smiled. “Of course. But you should give it to your Mom or aunt Riley. They’ll see her before I do.”

Anne nodded, and went off to her room.

The rest of the night continued the same way every Thursday night dinner did.

Blake complained that Beca ate too little and that her husband ate too much.

The twins would devour anything left too close to them, and Anne would pick out any bit of vegetable she found, no matter how small it had been cut up.

Then Beca would attempt to help with the dishes until she was told to cut it out, and Riley would drive her home.

Before she left that night, she hugged and kissed each of her grandkids, and told them all she loved them beyond comprehension.

She kissed Blake’s cheeks - standing on her tiptoes to do so - and briefly cupped her face in her hands. She told her she loved her too.

She patted David on the arm.

“You’re a good man,” she said. “You’ll take care of them.”

“Jeez, Mom, what’s got you so morbid?”

“Just the joys of ageing,” Beca said.

She didn’t know why she was feeling so sentimental that night, but she put it down to the emotion of the day.

In the car, Beca was quiet again.

“Something’s up with you,” Riley said.

“Today was tough,” Beca said, her head on the window. She turned to look at her daughter, and she seemed to transform in front of her eyes and back again. “Has anyone ever told you how much you look like your mom?”

“You, every day since I was born,” Riley said, laughing as she ran a hand through her short, ginger hair.

“This new girlfriend of yours,” Beca said, “is she nice?”

“What? Yes, Mom, of course.”

“She treats you well? She’s kind? She doesn’t blow up at wait staff or lose her temper in traffic?”

“She’s great,” Riley said. “Look, you can meet her soon, okay? She’s just a bit nervous around parents. She… she didn’t get on great with her own. They weren’t cool when she came out.”

Beca let out a sigh. “Poor girl. You’d think my generation would have grown out of that. Apparently not. As long as she makes you happy, and treats you well, then that’s all that matters.”

Riley laughed. “What, are you trying to make sure I’m married off before you kick it?”

Beca laughed too. “No. I just want you to be happy, my girl.”

“I am,” Riley said. “And not because I’m in a relationship, but because I just… am.”

Beca smiled. “Good. I’ve… I’ve had a very good life, Ri. And I don’t think I realised how good it was, how lucky I was, until your Mom got sick. I wish I could go back and just… enjoy it. Savour it. Those moments I spent with your mom where we would just… talk. And be with each other. I wish I could tell myself to appreciate each and every one.” Beca wiped her eyes. “Promise me you’ll do that?”

“Mom, you sound like you’re giving me some goodbye speech.”

Beca smiled and shook her head. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” Riley said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m sure,” Beca said.

They pulled up outside Beca’s home.

“You want me to walk you in?”

“I’m not that old yet. I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. I love you too, Mom.”

Beca smiled at her daughter, and leant across the car to kiss her cheek.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “I need to pop into town and pick up a prescription.”

“I’ll take you.”

Beca smiled. “You’re a good girl. See you tomorrow.”

Riley waved and watched as her Mom walked into her house and shut the door behind her. She drove to her girlfriend’s, her heart heavy with sadness for her parents.

Maybe tonight she should tell Sarah that she loved her.

It was true, she had always just been too scared to say it.

She wasn’t sure what she was afraid of anymore.

Beca’s house was as quiet as it always was these days.

She made a cup of chamomile tea, and popped open the Thursday PM slot on her pill caddy. She took the handful of pills and swallowed them with a mouthful of tea.

Then she settled herself in her favourite armchair, and turned on some music.

She was tired.

Really tired.

It had been such a long day.

She felt a tightness in her chest, but it wasn’t any worse than usual so she thought nothing of it.

The song changed and the opening notes of Titanium played out.

This was considered an oldie now.

Beca smiled, and closed her eyes as she remembered the first time she sang that song with her wife.

God, what a life they’d had.

She didn’t open her eyes again.

[uwuwriting]

Maybe pregnant hcs for Todoroki, Iida, Shinsou and Amajiki???💓💓💓💓💓

-Ohoho!!!! This right here just melts my hurt. Even thinking about it makes me weak.Plus a little heads up, everyone is having daughters cause I’m weak to the knees with the thought of these four and their babygirls so be prepared. Hope I don’t disappoint.💖💖💖

*All characters are aged up so around the ages of 20-25 and up*

Todoroki Shouto

-You and Shouto have been together since your second year in UA.

-You got married when you both got well acquainted with the hero life and now live a happy , yet busy, life in an apartment near his mom’s house. 

-We know that this boy would want his family to be close to him and the fact that you get along with everyone fills his heart with so much love. 

-You two never really talked about children.

-Maybe a few suggestions of having a child in the future but nothing serious.

-Que the morning sickness. 

-Shouto was really worried about you, I mean look at you.

-You’re emptying your guts in the toilet every single morning. 

-You can’t eat most foods that you used to like and have a weird craving for tuna yogurt?!

-He doesn’t want to leave the house, he even convinced you to take some days off and try to relax.

-Give your body rest.

-He promised to get some days off himself to take care of you.

-You had your suspicions, tbh.

-You just didn’t tell him.

-Whether that was to not get his hopes up or to post pone the heartbreak you didn’t really know.

-So what if you were mildly panicking over the fact that the 5 pregnancy tests you just took were all positive. 

-It was the first day of your mini ‘vacation’ and thankfully Shouto had been called in today.

-Because you’re panicking and legit losing your shit over this, you call....Rei.

-Okay maybe it wasn’t the best course of action considering you were on the verge of cardiac arrest, but what can you do.

-You asked her if she was home and if you could stop by.

-Of course she said yes, delighted to see you and mentioned that Fuyumi was also going to stop by in around an hour.

-You made your way to her house, arriving just as Fuyumi was pulling into the drive way.

-After greeting each other and going inside, you took your seats in the living room and waited for Rei to make some tea.

-Fuyumi was going on and on about what the kids at the kindergarten were doing and how cute some of them were being. 

-Neither of the Todoroki women had missed your puffy eyes or how your smile would constantly waver, but they decided to let you tell them on your own accord. 

-Once Rei joined you in the living room, they both turned to you.

- “So how have you been Y/n, dear?” Rei said watching you really closely. 

-You looked down, feeling hot tears starting to form in your eyes and your throat tightening painfully. 

-Fuyumi moved closer to you while Rei draped an arm around your shoulders which were shacking at the moment. 

- “I-I’m p-pregnant.” it was barely a whisper, but they heard it alright.

-Mom mode activated 2x.

-They reassured you that everything was going to be fine and how lucky you are.

-They repeatedly said how excited Shouto will be and what of a push over of a dad he would become.

-After 4 long hours of baby talk, you returned home, collapsing on the sofa before passing out for a good 3 hour nap.

-When you woke up, Shouto was home and sitting next to you weaving his fingers absentmindedly through your hair. 

- “Hey there sleepyhead.”

-How could his voice be so soft!?!?

-You buried your face into the blanket, which really confused him, I mean...what did he do?

- “We have a problem...” pause....awkward silence.... “I’m pregnant.”

-*Windows noises*

-After the mild stroke, he lifted you up so you were looking at him and just stared at you. 

-Those seconds that he just looked at you felt like eternity.  

-The torture ended however, when he lowered his head to your stomach and lifting your shirt, placed a small kiss right under your belly button.

- “Hey there, snowflake. Nice to meet you.”

-And with that, 9 exhausting months started full of mood swings, weird cravings, back rubs and a never ending list of baby names.

-You two learned you were having twins on your fifth appointment, but you decided to keep the gender a surprise. 

-On a cold January night your two girls were brought into the world and it was one of the few times you had seen Endeavour and Natsuo in the same room bawling their eyes out. 

-Your white haired baby was named Rei *after her grandmother* while your mixed red and h/c babygirl Ren. 

-When Shouto held them for the first time, you thought he was going to have a mental breakdown.

-He’s a total push over and your girls are daddy’s girls to the core.

-He’s the best dad they could ask for.

Iida Tenya

-You and Tenya have been married for 6 years now and have been trying endlessly for a baby.

-You both agreed that you were ready for the responsibility and that having a little Tenya running around the house sounded like a great idea.

-Saying that you were exhausted form the attempts was an understatement.

-Tenya had incredible stamina and even more libido, so you can safely assume that during the week long process of baby making you couldn’t walk straight.

-However, your little shenanigans stopped when your doctor delivered you the news.

-You had been hit by a blood related quirk while dealing with a villain and had to get a check up afterwards.

-You were given a scolding the moment you saw your doctor because why aren’t you in desk duty you RASCAL!?

-You were confused beyond belief and it was written all over your face.

- “You don’t know do you?” 

-Le sigh.

- “Mrs. Iida I’m happy to announce you that you’re expecting, so that means you are to be put in desk duty for the next 4 months or else I’m making sure you don’t leave the house for a good 9 months.”

-You. Were. Ecstatic. 

-You ran to Tenya’s agency, bringing down the damned door to his office giving the man a heart attack.

- “Y/n what’s-”

- “I’M PREGNANT!” 

-Que ecstatic air chopping. 

-Tenya went into full dad mode during those 9 months. 

-Buttt he’s also kinda nervous.

-Nervous like Tamaki in a crowd level nervous.

-You get the image.

-You have anything you want whenever you want it.

-The nursery is done the moment you find out you are having a gilr.

-Unlike Todoroki he isn’t patient enough to keep the gender a secret.

-When the day arrives, you’re just chilling outside with him when you nonchalantly blurt out ‘my waters broke’.

-....oh...oH.....OHSHIIIIIIIT.

- “WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?! GET UP! ARE YOU IN PAIN? CAN YOU WALK!?”

-This goes on until you are screaming and crushing his hand in the delivery room.

-Your little girl is born and she’s a carbon copy of Tenya.

-Same colored hair and eyes.

-The face structure looks like you.

-She has your nose and mouth, along with your eyebrows but apart from that she’s a mini genderbend Tenya.

-Because she was born early in the morning you decided to change her name and so little Asami Tenya was officially a part of this world.

-Tenya cried.

-You cried.

-Asami cried.

-You were one happy crying family.

Shinsou Hitoshi

-You and Hitoshi have been together for two years now, but you haven’t put a ring on it.

-Sure you live together and act like a married couple already but you’re not Mrs.Shinsou.....yet.

-You have been feeling strange for days now and your period was late which never happens.

-You are panicking but unlike Shouto you two aren’t married.

-He can leave with almost no complications.

-You were his girlfriend not his wife.

-The pregnancy tests you had taken were mocking you from the bathroom sink and your poor hormone ridden mind couldn’t handle the stress.

-You cried a river until you heard keys jiggling and HItoshi’s iconic ‘Kitten, I’m home!’

-You couldn’t face him like this.

-In a haste you shoved the tests into the laundry basket along with their packages and covered them with some sheets. 

-Fixing your hair and washing your face, you straightened and walked out the door.

-After greeting Hitoshi with a kiss you calmly told him to go get ready while you made him something to eat.

-Your mind was running laps thinking how you could tell him or how you could solve your little problem as quietly as possible.

-That is until he walked in holding what seemed to be a box.

-A pregnancy test box.

-HOW CAN YOU BE BLIND?

- “Y/n, what’s this?”pause “Are you..?”

-Anddd more crying.

-You sobbed about how sorry you were and how you couldn’t explain how it happened.

-Both of you were so careful, how did this happen???

-After a good 15 minutes of you bawling your eyes out on the kitchen floor while Hitoshi was trying to calm you down, you finally stopped at the sound of his chuckle. 

- “Well, damn kitten, your surprise definitely beat mine.”

-Then he pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and watched you closely.

-Now you are Mrs.Shinsou.

-These 9 months weren’t as bad as you would expect.

-Hitoshi was really good at giving you everything you wanted and during the whole pregnancy you didn’t lift a finger.

-One October night your waters broke and you found yourself in a long procedure of bringing your child into the world. 

-Hitoshi was a wreck and had called Aizawa for emotional support who called Hizashi who called Midnight.

-Once you were finished, Hitoshi rushed into your room and found you utterly exhausted.

-He was the first to hold your baby and you have never seen him cry this much in your life. 

- “Hello my little Kei.”

-Kei Shinsou was a happy little girl with an amazing father by her side.

Amajiki Tamaki

-Ah love.

-Something Tamaki found during high school and held onto it ever since. 

-Now a well known pro hero, Suneater was more than happy with his life with you.

-He always wanted a little something more but never expressed it. 

-He loved the idea of having a mini you running around the living room or waking him up in the morning with little squeals and kisses.

-He loved you to the moon and back, more than life itself but having a kid with you sparked a whole new sensation in him.

-So he tried to be sly about it.

-Forgetting the condoms or to pull out.

-You not being able to find your pills.

-A whole lot of fun. 

-You were newly weds and your libidos were high af and with the prospect of children on the table Tamaki became 10x more driven and horny.

-So you weren’t all that surprised when your doctor gave you the news. 

-You had gone for a plain old check up when he came into the room with a bright smile on his face and congratulations falling like a waterfall from his mouth. 

-Once back home you put your plan in motion. 

-You had a feeling Tamaki was trying to knock you up for some time now.

-He couldn’t forget to pull out every time like come on.

-But you were fine with it since you too wanted a kid with him.

-You just would’ve liked a little heads up first.

-You made your little bun and put it in the oven.

-And waited.

-And waited.

-And waited.

-Until finally Tamaki walked through the door,  a smile gracing his features as he made his way to you.

- “Hey bunny.”

-Giving him a quick peck you told him to check the oven real quick to make sure the food was all good.

-He obliged, walking to the kitchen and seeing the sole bun sitting in the oven.

-He was beyond confused on why you would only make one bun in the oven and not more, I mean you are two peop- ohhhh.

-OH.

-He did it. 

-He let the news settle in before going back to you.

- “Are you sure?” nod “100% sure?” another nod.

-At that he fell to his knees in front of you, attacking your stomach with kisses and I love yous.

-To whom they were directed you couldn’t actually tell but you were happy either way.

-Calls the baby butterfly.

-Makes the whole nursery along with Mirio who is ecstatic.

-Butterfly themed baby room.

-Expect many back and belly rubs along with Tamaki coming home early because Fatgum cannot allow him to stay at work when he’s preparing for a baby.

-When your waters break you are buying some onesies with small octopuses on them.

-You have never been taken to the hospital so fast in your whole hero career. 

-After many painful and stressful hours, your baby girl is born and she’s stunning.

-She has Tama’s ears and hair but your eyes and nose. 

-She’s a perfect mix. 

-The Big 3 cry as a team.

-When she’s given to him, Tamaki just cry laughs at how gorgeous she’s.

-Many thank yous are exchanged.

- Cho Amajiki.

-Tamaki cannot stop repeating the name even after they have taken her away.

-He curls on the chair next to you, holding your hand the whole night, falling into a deep sleep, imaging his new life with his little butterfly. 

[likeahorribledream]

The One That Got Away

Chapter 7: Number One

Summary: Charlie tries to settle into her new routine, without Bucky. As she's finally getting back on track, she has to go on her first date with Potential Future Husband Number One.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: A little bit of angst, one jackass, worst mother ever.

Summary | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 |

The two weeks following the fight, Charlie spent her time either at work or with Steve. As she had promised him, she did all the research she could to find the best training possible with what they had.

The training was going well, both her and Steve were sore pretty much all the time. After a week of working out with him, she had decided to be the ‘’brains’’ of the operation and leave the ‘’muscles’’ part to him. She was way too out of shape for boot camps. Steve was happy to have her around to help him, whether she was working out alongside him or cheering him on while he was doing the exercises she was telling him to do; it was nice to be able to spend more time with her.

It took almost a week of them hanging out together every afternoon after work before he started to see a change. Slowly, his friend was coming back to him. She started to smile again and the first time she laughed he grinned non-stop for 5 minutes. It took her a little more than a week before she stopped waiting for Bucky to show up. She had been waiting for him outside every day for lunch, but he never came. Whenever they were working out in the park together, she was always hopeful that he would join them but he never did. Steve knew it was hard for Bucky to stay away and he was impressed that he had managed to do it for this long.

Every time he had seen Charlie searching for Bucky and looking sad when she couldn’t find him, Steve had wanted so badly to tell her why Bucky had said what he had said and did what he did but that would only push her towards him and ruin all the efforts Bucky had put towards protecting her, so he never said anything. In a way, he was relieved when he noticed she had stopped looking around the park in the hopes that Bucky had finally changed his mind but it also saddened him because he knew it meant she was starting to move on.

When Bucky asked about her and how she was doing, he never knew what to tell his friend. Should he tell the truth and say that she was still sad, making him feel more guilty in the process or should he lie and say she was fine, which he knew would make Bucky feel better and worse all at the same time. Bucky wanted her to feel better, he hated knowing she was still in bad shape but if she felt better, it meant she was forgetting about him and just the thought made him want to cry. Steve avoided answering by only telling his friend what the two of them had been up to with his boot camp, being careful not to tell him anything about how she was feeling. None of the answers he had for Bucky would make him feel better.

Ever since her fight with her parents, Charlie had been more distant towards them. She ate dinner with them every night, per their request. She waited until they told her she could excuse herself before walking away from them. She knew she was on thin ice and that anything could set them off, so she played the role of the dutiful daughter, doing everything they said as soon as they said it.

Charlie came back to her room after dinner. She had been sitting in bed, reading, for an hour before a soft knock was heard at her door. She put her bookmark between the pages open in front of her and closed the book, putting it on her lap. She told the person to come in and was surprised to see her mom. Ever since that night, her mom had been avoiding her. If she had something to say, she would send her father to tell her and Charlie was fine with it. Her mother wasn’t really high up on the list of people Charlie tolerated at the moment.

Mrs. Mathews looked at her daughter, no emotions showing on her face and stepped into her room to stand at the foot of her bed.

‘’This Saturday, you have your first date.’’ Her mother announced, like she was talking about the weather. As if it was nothing when she knew how much it would affect her daughter.

Charlie felt bile rise up in her mouth and her stomach dropped. She knew this moment was coming but a small, naive part of her had hoped they had changed their mind. Her mom kept talking, telling her all about her date. His name, his age, who were his parents, what job he had and where they were going. Charlie forced herself to listen to her mother but none of what she said completely registered with her and as soon as the door closed behind Mrs. Mathews, Charlie had already forgotten everything except that she was going on a date with Potential Future Husband number 1. She knew she was being childish but she refused to learn their names. She had named them PFH number one through five.

Having lost interest in the book she had been reading, she decided to go to bed instead. She put her book on her nightstand right on top of the one that had been laying there for the past 2 weeks. The book that Bucky had started reading to her. She turned off the lights and closed her eyes. She hated the fact that just the thought of Bucky made her sad, she hated that she missed him when he had made it blatantly clear that he couldn’t care less about her. That night, Charlie once again fell asleep with the images of Bucky telling her she wasn’t worth his time replaying in her head, ignoring the stubborn tears that were falling despite her eyes being closed.

Charlie’s co-workers knew something had happened but didn't know what it was. Just that it was bad, bad enough for her to close in on herself and put up her guards. She had even asked to be moved from the front desk to the back office and only work on the patients’ charts and files. The only person who was aware of the situation was the owner of the clinic, her dad’s friend who had hired her. He was on strict orders to fire her the moment James Barnes would show up at the clinic.

Everyone was worried about her, but they knew better than to ask questions. The whole energy at work had shifted, having lost their sunshine; the one person who could make anyone smile through a bad day or through pain. If someone was having a bad day, it stuck with them until the end of their shift because the only person who always knew what to say or what to do to lift their spirits up was hiding in an office, far from them.

They were just as surprised to see that no one was coming in to see her anymore. The friend that used to come eat lunch with her every day was gone and their most regular patient, Steve, hadn’t been seen in weeks. Although it seemed like the two were connected, it was just that Steve was focusing all of his time and energy on his training and didn’t want to risk ruining all of his hard work by getting hurt in an alley fight.

The next day at work, Charlie seemed even more closed off. Her co-workers had slowly started to see the old Charlie coming back to them but all of that was gone overnight. She came in, said a quick good morning to everyone and disappeared in the back office for the entire day. When they saw her again, it was at the end of the day when she left. She wished a good night, to no one in particular and walked out.

She walked straight to the park to meet Steve. No matter how bad her mood was, she never stood him up and always showed up to his training.

When he saw her arrive, he instantly knew something was wrong. Where there usually was a smile, he found a small pout; her face frozen in a frown. Her shoulders were slightly slouched and there was no energy in her steps whatsoever. She stopped walking and started looking around for him, he waited until their eyes met and waved her over.

As she walked over, she gave herself a small inner pep-talk to get into a good mood. Steve had been an amazing and supporting friend with everything that had happened, she knew she hadn’t been the best of company and brought down the mood so she forced herself to smile before reaching Steve and faked enthusiasm.

‘’Hey Stevie.’’ She greeted him, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

‘’Hey Char.’’ He smiled softly at her before bringing her into a hug. ‘’What happened?’’

She hugged him back, sighing. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ She whispered.

He took a few steps back to look at her. ‘’What are you apologizing for?’’

‘’I’m always in a bad mood lately, I always have problems. I’ve been a bad friend and I’m sorry.’’

‘’You don’t have to apologize for having a hard time. What you’re going through is not easy.’’ He hugged again before letting her go completely. ‘’So, tell me.’’

She motioned for them to start stretching, she was in a mood where she needed to blow out steam and working out with Steve was the perfect solution.

‘’I have my first date on Saturday.’’

Steve stopped stretching, looking at her with sadness in his eyes.

‘’Oh.. Char.’’

‘’It’s fine. We knew it was coming.’’ She tried to shrug it off.

‘’Wanna talk about it?’’

Charlie shook her head no.

‘’Wanna sweat about it?’’ He joked.

Charlie’s only answer was a big grin.

They spent the rest of the afternoon working-out, well Steve was working-out while Charlie was cheering him on, completely out of breath.

‘’I didn’t think I would ever be in a better shape than someone else.’’ He laughed in-between reps.

She stuck out her tongue at him. ‘’Ha. Ha. Ha. Aren’t you a funny one, Rogers.’’

‘’I know, I’m hilarious. It was about time you acknowledge it.’’ He smirked.

She rolled her eyes at him, smiling.

‘’I guess I was too blinded by my own flawless sense of humour to notice yours.’’ She shrugged.

Now Steve was the one rolling his eyes and laughed, pointing at his own head.

‘’How’s your ego? Good? Does that big head of yours make it difficult to walk through doors?’’

‘’My ego is fine, thank you for asking and yes, it is difficult sometimes, some door frames are smaller than others but I just learned to side step. I’ve gotten excellent at it.’’

Steve whistled, his eyes focusing on her head. ‘’Fascinating. I think I can actually see it grow before my very eyes.’’

‘’Aren’t you supposed to be training right now?’’

‘’Aren’t you?’’ He shot back.

Charlie gasped dramatically and they both started laughing. Steve went back to training, finishing today’s boot camp before falling to the ground, sitting next to his friend.

‘’You’re getting better every day Stevie. I’m proud of you.’’ She smiled.

Steve blushed at the compliment, not that anyone could notice, his face already red from all his hard work. She forced him to stretch afterwards, even if he kept complaining that he was too exhausted and he didn’t need to stretch even if deep down he knew he would be less sore the next day.

They walked home in silence, aside from their giggling. Anyone who saw them wouldn’t be able to tell that these two were full grown adults by the way they walked, shoving into one another; their steps going in every direction but a straight line, and by how they acted.

After an eventful walk home, they stopped a block away from Charlie’s house. It had become where they met and where they said goodbye, Steve didn’t come over anymore. They hugged once last time and went their separate ways.

Charlie felt so much better. All the laughing and running around almost made her forget what was waiting for her at home. Almost. But tonight, she couldn’t be bothered with it all. She had just had one of the best days in a long time and she was determined to not let anything ruin it. She was careful not to do or say anything that would set her father off, as soon as it was possible she disappeared to her room and finally let herself relax once she had closed the door.

She was getting ready for bed, brushing her wet hair from her, very much needed, shower. She was looking at herself in the mirror and being tired, she zoned out. Her eyes weren’t focusing on anything in particular, looking in her mirror at the reflection of her room behind her. She was looking around, still through the mirror, when something caught her eye; bringing her out of her thoughts. She gently placed the brush on her desk, to its rightful spot and turned around. She started looking around again, trying to find what had caught her attention but she couldn’t find it. She took a few steps to the side, when she saw it again. Something was shining in the light from her room. She walked over and picked it up.

Her locket.

She closed her fingers around it and brought her hand to her chest, where the locket usually would be and took a deep breath while closing her eyes.

‘’I’m sorry Gran. I know it meant a lot to you, it meant a lot to me too. I really wish you were here right now.’’ She whispered, almost inaudibly. ‘’I miss you.’’

As she opened her eyes again, she tried to think of a place where she could put the necklace. Somewhere that she would know it was safe, hidden from her parents but where she would still have easy access to it. Her eyes fell on the books piled up on her nightstand, finding the perfect hiding place. Her parents never looked through her books, they would never bother themselves trying to find out more about her interests.

She took the book that she had started reading with Bucky and found the page they were on. She hid the necklace in between pages, as close as possible to the bookbinding to not make it too obvious that it wasn’t closing completely because of the pendant. Closing the book, she put it back where it had been; under the book she was currently reading.

She fell asleep easily that night, feeling more at peace than she did the night before and every other night before that.

Saturday came around quickly, too quickly. Like everyone else, Charlie always looked forward to the weekend but not this time. Steve had tried to reassure her, saying it would go smoothly and that maybe she would even like him but she knew that if her parents had chosen him for her, he probably didn’t have anything in common with her but everything in common with them.

The pit in her stomach made it more difficult to get excited and to get ready. Even though she had half a mind to not put any effort on how she would look, she knew it would only mean more trouble for her so she decided to look her best, as if it was a real date. A date she wanted to be on with a man she liked.

She looked at herself one more time in the mirror to make sure her hair was secured into place, that her eyeliner looked good and that her dress looked flawless; not a wrinkle in sight. After all, she had to show her ‘’housewife potential’’. She heard knocking at the front door and took a shaky breath. She grabbed her clutch and opened her bedroom door, cringing at her father’s loud laugh. She walked downstairs, avoiding to look at the man waiting for her as long as she possibly could, that way she didn’t have to talk to him. Instead, she focused all of her attention on her feet as she walked down. It looked completely natural, like she was simply trying not to trip. Unfortunately, she reached the first floor and finally had to look up.

Number One looked handsome, too handsome. He had a smug look on his face, the kind of look that screamed ‘’I know I’m hot, I’m a big shot and better than you.’’ and Charlie hated that. It was going to be a long night.

She shook his hands while her dad was introducing him, honestly she wasn’t really listening and just nodded politely when he asked if she was ready to go.

He told her parents he would bring her back no later than 10pm, then shook her father’s hand. He turned around, opened the door and walked outside towards the cab that had been waiting for them; never looking back to see if she was following him. She followed not long after, a bit disappointed that he hadn’t opened the door for her and let her walk out first, guiding her with his hand resting on the small of her back like gentlemen did. Like James Bucky did.

The restaurant was nice and very expensive. The waiter walked them over to their table, right next to the window that looked over the street from where they had just come from. She followed the waiter, looking on the tables around to see what looked good. Great, she thought, ridiculously small portions. I should have eaten before this. Although it was really ‘’unlady-like’’, Charlie liked it. She didn’t care about the name of the restaurant or how much everything cost. She cared about actually eating and loving the food on her plate. That wasn’t going to happen tonight.

When they reached their table, Number One pulled out a chair and sat down. He didn’t pull out her chair, he didn’t ask her which seat she preferred; the one facing the wall or the one back to the wall. He barely even looked at her. Leaving her with the chair against the wall, she started walking over to sit but was stopped by the waiter who gave her a small smile. He pulled out her chair for her and waited until she was comfortably sitting before leaving them. She thanked him with a small nod and looked at the man sitting across from her, there was no doubt in her mind that he didn’t want to be here either. She wondered why he accepted to do this, clearly he had to be coerced into it otherwise he wouldn’t be here.

She was surprised to learn that he was here of his own free will.

‘’I like those kinds of dates, '’ he started. Dates, plural. Not his first time doing this.

‘’I like to see what kind of sad woman needs her parents to set her up on dates with men.’’ He snickered. ‘’Couldn’t find anyone to love you on your own uh?’’ He added with a mocking tone, pouting to mock her even more.

As rude as he was, Charlie sincerely didn’t care about what he said. He didn’t mean anything to her and his opinion meant even less.

Her eyes drifted to the window, watching people walk by as they looked curiously into the restaurants. Human nature, always so curious. The man in front of her kept talking, never noticing that she wasn’t listening to a single word he said.

The people on the street were much more interesting than he was, she was almost amused; a small smile at the corner of her lips. Her arm was resting on the table and her hand was under her chin, holding her head up. The small smile quickly faded when her eyes met with someone’s on the street. She sat straighter in her chair, her hand falling on the table. The pit in her stomach got even worse, the lump in her throat that had rapidly formed made it hard to swallow or breathe.

It was the first time she had seen him ever since that night almost 3 weeks ago. Bucky.

They both froze into place, even though a window separated them. Her heart started beating faster, just as his did too.

He had managed to avoid running into her for the past 3 weeks. Avoiding every place he knew she went to often, taking a different way home in case Steve would be bringing her over as he lived close to him. He thought that going out for a walk on a Saturday night would be safe, she usually spent her Saturday reading books or by sorting them and rearranging her shelves. He really didn’t expect to see her and the way her expression changed, Bucky knew she hadn’t expected to see him either. He finally broke eye contact, looking her over. It felt like he hadn’t seen her in months, when in reality it had only been a few weeks.

He noticed how dolled up she was and how beautiful she looked. He started moving before he even realized it, walking towards her.

When Bucky broke eye contact, Charlie also took the time to look him over. She wondered if his hair had always had that cute little curl at the front of it. As he started walking closer, her heartbeat picked up. Her heart was beating so fast and so loud that she was sure everyone in the restaurant could hear it.

That’s when he finally saw him; the reason that she was out on a Saturday night, the reason why she looked so beautiful. Number One.

It was like he had been in a trance when his eyes met hers, for a few moments he had forgotten why she wasn’t in his life anymore and why he couldn’t hear his favorite sound again, the sound of her laugh but when he saw the man sitting across from her, everything came rushing back and he was brought back to reality.

He stopped walking, meeting her eyes one more time; so many emotions went through his head and showed in his eyes. He sincerely hoped that everything he had wanted to say and every apology he had been dying to confess could be seen in his eyes.

Then, he turned around and walked away, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared.

Charlie spent the entire date thinking about Bucky and the look in his eyes. He looked so sad but why? He never cared about her, he told her so himself. Hundreds of questions were running through her mind while she ate. She had barely ordered anything, she had lost her appetite.

When the check came, she was glad she did. Number One paid for his half and then pointed to Charlie, talking to the waiter like she wasn’t even there.

‘’She’ll take care of the rest.’’ He said, with a smirk.

The jerk. He wanted her to not be able to pay, to ask him to pay for her half because she didn’t have any money. He wanted her to feel humiliated. Can’t find a man and can’t pay for yourself? Pathetic. She could almost hear him say those words, his smug expression said it all.

Charlie looked at the waiter with a big, genuine smile on her face before grabbing the clutch that rested on the table next to her and opening it.

‘’With pleasure.’’ She said, pulling out a few bills and handing them over to the waiter.

He stopped smiling instantly, clearly angry that she hadn’t needed to beg for him to pay for her meal. It seemed like her parents had left out the part about how she worked everyday, which almost meant she got a paycheck every other week.

Now, he was the one feeling embarrassed. She had completely turned the situation on him and he ended up looking like the cheap date who couldn’t afford taking out women in places like the one they were in right now.

The waiter looked down at Charlie, grinning. He had seen and heard everything Number One had said and done since they had walked in and he was glad to see her put him back in his place.

They walked out of the restaurant and Charlie swore she could see smoke coming out of his ears. He waved over a cab and turned his face to look at Charlie.

‘’You can find your own way home.’’ He said coldly before sitting in the cab and closing the door, telling the driver to go.

Charlie sighed. Although he was extremely rude and she absolutely despised him, she really didn’t feel like walking home alone. Especially not in this dress and those shoes. Her dinner had been expensive and she didn’t have any money left to get a cab.

‘’What a jerk.’’ She said out loud, angry.

Suddenly she felt someone behind her, standing close to her. Too close. A hand rested on her left shoulder before it ran down her arm, fingertips brushing against her skin. They were the kind of little touches that would have made her swoon if she hadn’t been so terrified.

‘’Bad date?’’ Was whispered in her ear as the hand on her left arm reached hers, closing around it.

***

As I promised yesterday, chapter 7 is here! I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think.

[novemberandmay]

As She Falls

Chapter 2, Her Condition

Chapters: Chapter1  Chapter 3 Chapter 4

“This Gotham News, reporting live in front the local Academy where heartbreaking incident occurred today. According to our sources, a known heavily bullied student jumped off the roof during their lunch break. Back to you, John-“

The T.V. was suddenly shut off, the remote being thrown across the room. All of the occupants in the room didn’t even glance at the soaring object, more lost in their heads than anything. Though none of them arrived together, they were all here for the same thing. They were awaiting news on “the known heavily bullied student” Marinette Dupain-Cheng. They had arrived a few hours ago, but none of them had even budged from their spots in the waiting room, too anxious to even move. It was almost 4 hours later before they were told anything, and it wasn’t good news. Though usually it was only family members that were allowed to know of a patient’s condition, they were told instead. Her condition was still in the red, and it was very likely she wouldn’t last throughout the night. When they were given this information, some of them broke down in tears.

“Oh Mari, you have too live, you can’t die. You can’t. Please don’t leave me, please...”

With Mari...

When she jumped from the school’s very high roof, she didn’t expect to still be alive afterwords, even if it was only for a few moments. She had prayed that she wouldn’t, that her death would be painless and swift, but it wasn’t. She was still alive for 5 minutes after reaching the ground. She was in so much pain, it hurt all over. Her head felt like it was trying to break in two, and her body felt as if all her bones were broken. All she could see infront of her was a red tinted world, with dark maroon blood dripping down in front of her. She could only her ultimate demise would come soon, so she wouldn’t have to live in this world anymore. She wanted to move on, she wished it.

After what felt like days, years almost, she was finally able to take her last breath. She took a short and gaspy breath, her ribs pushing on her lungs. When she took her final breath, everything turned black.

When she awoke next, her vision was covered in a blanket of white. It, surprisingly, didn’t hurt her eyes, more soothing if anything. She felt content. Nothing could go wrong anymore, she couldn’t be hurt anymore, everything was calm. She twirled around, taking in these moments of peace, her heaven. Marinette eventually fell down, but she wasn’t dizzy. Nor was she hurt, as it felt like she fell on pillows instead. It was so nice, this world, so peaceful and kind. If only her parents were there next to her, they would love this. Ah, speaking of which, wasn’t that her maman right over there? Maman also had a weird expression on her face. Ah, whatever. Let Marinette enjoy this peacefulness a bit more....

Wait.

MAMAN?!

She looked over at her again, confirming what she saw was real. She quickly jumped onto her feet, scrambling in the women’s direction. She hoped it wasn’t an illusion and was really her maman...

“Maman!! Is that really you?” Marinette had shouted out, close to tears as she ran to the women.

“Oh my Mari, it can’t be...” that was Sabine Cheng’s voice alright, that was her maman’s voice!

“Maman!!!” She screamed, flinging herself into her mother’s arms, crying out cheers of happiness.

“Oh maman, I’ve missed you so much! I can’t believe you’re really here!! Where’s papa? Is he here to? Oh, it doesn’t matter! I just can’t believe you’re really there! Right in front of me!” The girl cried, looking up to her mother in tears. She smiled at the women, overjoyed at the prospect of her mom rally being there, being in her arms.

“Oh Mari, my dearest daughter, oh this shouldn’t be..” Her mother’s weird expression never left her face, becoming even worse by the second.

“Maman...?” The girl couldn’t understand. She was with her maman, right? So everything should be happy.. So why is her mother acting so weird? Didnt she miss her?

“Mari, my dear, please listen to me. You shouldn’t be here, you should be on Earth enjoying life! You need to return my dear! You can’t stay here.” Her maman’s voice got louder after every syllable, until it was eventually at  a piercing scream height.

“But maman....didn’t you miss me? Don’t you love me?” The girl’s face turned miserable, her eyes only reflecting deep sadness.

“Oh my Mari, of course I love you, I’ve missed you so deeply, but-“

“Then everything’s fine, maman! You don’t need to worry about anything!” The girl interrupted, her expression warping into a happy one. Her eyes showed happiness, but was it really truly happiness?

As the women, heard these words, she maintained a sullen expression. What happened to her dear Mari after she left? Her personality has warped so much now...

“I’m sorry love, but I’m only doing what is best for you. Please forgive me.” Her mother’s voice was shaky and laced with regret, but it had a tone of finality to it. She lifted up her finger, it heading to the girl’s forehead.

“Maman? What do you-“ The girl stopped speaking after her maman touched the middle of her forehead, seemingly stuck in place.

It took a moment, but she started to fall back.

Everything went black.

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Notes: I hope you all like it! I need to go now- so I’m not really going to add any notes! Have a nice day!!

[mediocre--writing]

Will sees Billy kind of like a father/ another parental figure (bcoz fuck lonnie). He has Jonathan of course (and Hopper and Steve), but Billy is the one who teaches him how to play basketball, change a tire, throw a punch, etc. a lot of stuff fathers in the 80’s would generally teach their kids

will has a hard time adjusting to changes in his life.

when his father first left, even though he was a piece of shit, it was weird to lose him. he got so used to the occasional affection that he grew to miss that fatherly figure.

jonathan was still a kid, too. he was dealing with their dad leaving as well, and he didn’t need the responsibility of acting like a dad to will.

joyce was amazing, but she’s a helicopter mom. she’s tactical and confident, but in a mom way, and there’s just some things a woman can’t teach her son as well as a man can (the puberty talk was scarring, to say the least)

bob was kind, bob gave will a chance and didn’t look at him any differently, and will thought that maybe, just maybe he could get a father figure out of him, but we all know what happened with that.

then steve came into their small group, but when and dustin had a very close relationship and steve didn’t care to interact with the other kids.

hopper was kind and amazing, but he didn’t have a super close connection with will. he just wasn’t openly warm and fuzzy and they just didn’t connect.

it shouldn’t have been anyone but lonnie’s responsibility to be will’s dad, but he still wanted someone to fill that hole in his heart, left shattered after the first time lonnie called him gay for crying.

and will wasn’t expecting jack shit out of billy. he was loud and obnoxious and crude and selfish and will wanted nothing to do with the californian.

until the day their av club ran late and, as all the boys were picked up, max and will were the only ones left standing on the steps.

billy’s car was sitting in the high school parking lot, among others, who were staying after for basketball practice or other extra curriuculars.

but jonathan’s car wasn’t there and his mom had the late shift and will wasn’t allowed to ride his bike to school anymore, a stern rule from his mom.

max was waiting on the steps of the middle school since billys practice went until 5:00 and there was still a good ten minutes, plus she didn’t want to leave will alone

when billy eventually came strutting out of the school to his car, 10 minutes later than usual, will was still waiting with max.

“do you need a ride? i can force billy to take you home,” max gave a sheepish smile

“do you think he’ll get mad?”

max shrugged her shoulders in a careless manner before starting to walk down the sidewalk to billy

will followed a step behind and overthought this whole situation. he wasn’t all to sure he wanted to be in a car with the guy who almost ran the party over.

but he had to get home somehow.

“billy, will needs a ride home,” max said, as if there was no room for questioning.

“doesn’t your group ride bikes?”

“i got driven to school today,” wills said, almost inaudibly

billy sighed and took a drag of his cigarette before giving max a glare, then getting into his car, meaning max won the argument.

billy was mean but he’s been left at school because of a careless parent one too many times before getting his liscence.

billy asked only twice which way to go, because he’d only ever driven there from the wheelers, not the school (which was in the opposite direction from the wheelers, but just a mile or two farther than the hargrove-mayfield home)

billy flinched at each rock hit the side of his car as he drove down the bumpy dirt road that led to the byers, cursing at the work he would have to do to clean his car later.

will, who was patiently sat in the back, unbuckled before the car fully stopped an max was getting out, leaning the seat foreward, and letting will go into his house.

billy rolled down the window before will walked in, “hey kid!”

will turned to look at billy cautiously, raising his eyebrows in question

“if you ever need another ride home, i’m expecting you to wash my car after!”

will looked at the car, seeing how muddy the wheels and bottom few inches of the car had gotten compared to the pristine condition of the rest of his car

he nodded and billy rolled up his window, waiting until will got inside before driving away.

max snickered from the passenger seat, “you’re such a softie,”

“am not,”

“i doubt will’s ever washed a car in his life,”

“seriously?” billy raised an eyebrow, glancing over to max

she shrugged, “don’t know,”

two or so months later, billy has developed a routine of driving will home every other tuesday, when joyce and jon are too busy to pick him up.

this one particular tuesday, however, max is home sick, so it’s just going to be the two of them

billy doesn’t see it as being so bad. the av club ends about half an hour before basketball practice does, so will and max usually wait by the car, and when billy walks out, will is looking down at one of his tires

as he gets closer, billy sees that his tire was slashed and completely flat by now, he puffed out a breath angrily as he got closer, and will flinched as he heard billy

“i didn’t do it, i swear, billy—“

“yeah, i know you didn’t do it, kid,”

billy takes a moment to push his anger to that little dark spot in his mind before unlocking his trunk, where he kept a spare tire and car jack

“what’s that?” will asked, referring to the car jack

“what? you’ve never changed a tire before?”

will shook his head no.

billy instructed him to put his bag in the car, then showed will how to position the car jack, then get the car up, then remove and replace the tire.

will’s eyes lit up as he helped billy out the new tire on, never having had a person show him classic-guy things like this. jon just would have called a service or something.

it didn’t end there, though. will started to really enjoy billys company.

he was rough and tough around the edges but very patient with will and understood that he didn’t have much experience in normal life things.

billy even offered to teach will how to shoot a basketball one day when practice was running behind.

it’s not until winter falls into spring that billy teaches will another fantastic life skill.

will comes trudging to the car with max one day in march, head bowed and hoodie covering his face.

billy and max have a silent conversation of ‘what’s up with will’ and ‘don’t ask’

billy doesn’t see it until he’s driving down the road to will’s house and looks in his rear view mirror. there’s a big, blue/red/purple mark on his cheek.

it takes every ounce of power in billy’s body to not track down and kill an 8th grader. but he’s better than that.

as wills getting out of the car to go to his house, billy gets out too, tells max to stay in the car.

“what happened?”

will sighed in defeat, he knew he couldn’t hide it forever, “troy, he’s a dick in my grade and just, hit me today, its not a big deal,”

will looked so dejected at the recap of his day that billy almost hugged him. almost. he had a reputation to upkeep, you know.

“so did you hit him back?”

“i probably would have hurt my hand more than his face if i tried,”

“you don’t know how to punch?”

“do you really think my mom would have taught me how?”

“good point,” billy nodded, taking a moment of silence to think, “are you doing anything this sunday?”

will’s face scrunched up, but he shook his head no. billy had a wicked grin growing on his face.

“perfect. i’m going to teach you how to hit that piece of shit back. i’ll pick you up sunday at one, sound good?”

before will could get a word in, billy was turned around and walking back to the car.

the saturday meet-up wasn’t as bad as wills thought it was gonna be.

billy had picked him up, one on the dot, and driven them out to the old junkyard, bringing a pillow and his toolbox out with him.

he held a pillow to his chest and looked at will. “hit me,”

“what?”

“you wont hurt me, but i brought the pillow so now you especially can’t hurt me, so do it. hit me!”

will gave a weak punch and billy corrected him from there. moved his thumb so he wouldn’t hurt himself, changed the approach, and showed him how to get more power into his hits.

will was a pro by the end of the hour.

“so what’s the toolbox for?” will asked as they were sitting on the hood of a rusty, old car, taking a break

“ahh, the fun part of the afternoon, you mean,”

will raised an eyebrow and watched as billy pulled out a crowbar from the box, handing it to will

“what am i doing with this?”

“hit the car,” billy looked way too excited for this.

when will didn’t move, billy’s shoulders sagged.

“look, it’s therapeutic and these are all dump cars anyway, just start hittin’ it!”

will did, he hit a junky, old, red car as hard as he could and was elated by the huge dent that was pushed in as a result.

“there you go! do it again!” billy encouraged

will did. he hit the car over and over and over.

billy was right, it was therapeutic. every time he had an angry thought, be it about his dad or his bullies, he hit the car and a string that kept him all tied up snapped.

will didn’t even realize he was slowing down until his muscles stopped moving and he had his arms hanging to his sides, crowbar still grasped tightly in his hand.

“feel good?” billy asked, walking closer and taking the crowbar, putting it in the toolbox and locking it, then picking up it and the pillow.

“feels good,” will nodded

billy motioned for will to start walking to where he’d parked the car, only a bit away, so they could go home.

“thank you,” will said as they were driving down the road, music quieter than billy usually played it and a peaceful silence between the two

“what for?”

“doing this... like, manly stuff, i guess. i never knew how to punch or change a tire or play sports before, and it’s been cool hanging out with you,”

will has his whole body turned towards billy (who was peaking glances at him while keeping his eyes on the road).

“i’m glad i can help you out kid. i used to get pushed around a lot, believe it or not, and i wish someone had helped me out and i didn’t have to go it alone, ya know?”

will nodded, glancing out the window and seeing that they were pulling onto his street.

“i’m glad i get to help you out, kid.” billy reached the end of the driveway and parked the car, “let me know if you ever... need a ride to the arcade or something, ok? never be afraid to ask.”

will thanked him again and pushed the door open, going into his house, listening to the camaro’s engine rev after he’d shut the door.

he hadn’t ever had a stable father figure, and he knew billy was too young to be his dad in any sense, but doing things like this made the gap in his heart grow smaller and smaller every day.

because who needs a dad when you’ve got billy hargrove?

[prorevenge]

Bridezilla Karen ends up looking like a pauper at her own wedding.

I (F48) have known “Pat” (F48) for decades. As far as I can remember, she was fixated on having 5 children and a picket fence dream life. I slowly cut ties with her in college because she was an opportunist and I didn’t trust her. She is both manipulative and forceful. Her idea of cute rubs me the wrong way. Pat likes to walk like a penguin when she wants to elicit pity, and she usually does this when she wants to evoke the underdog narrative. I’ve never seen someone act so despicable and ridiculous at the same time.

I moved on with my life. Happily got rid of her for years. Pat eventually found me on facebook. I accepted her friend request out of politeness.

Pat has become the epitome of a permissive mother. Her (5) kids do as they please and she never calls them out. She tried to force a relationship between me and her daughters and made them call me Auntie. Pat tried to drop them at my house uninvited. Her phone calls were insistent, she tried to monopolize my time and she began to show up at my job. I created some boundaries so she tried to find loopholes. It was a nightmare.

My husband and I hosted a party for the community center (not the real name) new members. The community center is actually a very informal initiative and my husband and I mainly serve the homeless population. We prefer to help strangers instead of catering to potentially narcissistic acquaintances. We don't mind lending a hand but we have encountered truly dishonest choosing beggars.

There are other services, like one of the members who helps women get their wedding and prom dresses for free.The community center location “headquarters” is actually a farm owned by an elderly couple. There is a barn, a venue and a very nice green field with an artificial lake and some fowl. They charge for the use of their facilities (weddings , etc.) but not for community oriented stuff.

Pat had always been salty at her husband for demanding that she go back to work after baby #3. In the meantime, he worked three jobs. She demanded he get her pregnant to fulfill her dream of having 5 kids. He didn’t agree, because he was already nearly 45 and felt like he might never be able to retire. She got away with bringing new babies into this world anyway. Her fascination with being pregnant comes from all the attention she gets. She had at least one miscarriage in between each kid.

Pat latched on to our group. She never missed any of our activities. I hated having her in my house, but it was an open invitation that included virtually everyone and she was very active as an event organizer. I didn’t like the way her kids behaved. We have a designated area for parties and entertainment, but her kids ended up inside my bedroom. We ended up having to keep watch of them and enjoyed zero of our own party.

I called her days later to get my point across (regarding their overall behavior) but she completely cut me off and began talking about herself and said her kids wanted to come visit again and use our pool. I never answered that. I didn't want to say “no, I will not have your brats over”.

She also called me as summer was approaching specifically to let me know her middle daughter was bored and wanted to spend a WEEK at our home. I politely declined, citing that me and my husband have to work and cannot entertain guests. .

Pat paid no heed. Her kid called me on the weekend,calling me “auntie” and attempted to coax me by saying “Mom says you invited me to spend SUMMER with you”. I quickly clarified, and offered an explanation to avoid hurting a kid’s self esteem. Nevermind. Her daughter just hung up on me.

Pat’s facebook also showed some red flags. Some cryptic rants here and there were visible, along with friends’ comments and complaints on how she asked a particular person to watch her kids only for a couple of hours and ended up leaving them all day. Another of her friends criticized her “girls night out “ because Pat had just asked them to be patient and wait until she could pay back some money that she owed them, yet she had money to spend on Friday night outings. I thought those very public comments on private matters were more like a cry of lost patience.

Unpleasant things began to happen. Like the time she volunteered to wrap the Xmas presents for underprivileged kids. We all wanted to create a mix of less costly gifts with really nice ones. Surprisingly, some nice and eye-catching toys and games went missing but turned up under her Christmas Tree (courtesy of her mother in law’s FB posts). No one could prove anything but it was hate-inducing. Or the time my daughter called me in tears to pick her up after she attended Pat’s daughter’s birthday (Casey). My daughter had been ignored all night because she didn’t gift her the expensive gaming stuff Casey practically demanded. My daughter did ask, but I said no. We would buy her a very nice and thoughtful present according to her taste. So when I went to pick her up my daughter was sitting alone in the living room while Casey and her friends stayed outside.

Stories about Pat and her family multiplied. The owners at the farm (community center) decided keep their their gates locked unless they had guests or events because Pat got in the habit of driving in whenever she pleased and it was either her kids screaming and disturbing on-going weddings, throwing rocks at the koi in the lake or harassing the geese in the yard. Or how she stiffed another soccer mom with the lunch bill and then pulled the struggling financially card. Or how other parents hated her because she created unnecessary hostile competition.

When my daughter turned 13, I allowed her to wear my grandma’s ring. It's not an expensive piece of jewelry, but it's vintage and girls nowadays wanna look boho. My Granny gave it to me when I became a teenager so I passed it on to my kid so she could wear it on her birthweek.

It was weird that she became quiet and distracted after that. She also didn’t want to go to school and my husband and I became suspicious. She never opened up, and my other kids had no clue.

We went to her school but her teachers assured us nothing had changed in her environment. My husband and I suspected she was being bullied but our kid gave us no tools to support her. My kid is very sunny, and very compassionate. She has never had any problems with other kids. I called her best friend’s mom. Natalie, my kid’s BFF, told us what was going on. Casey (Pat’s eldest) and my daughter had become “close”. I knew this and wasn’t too thrilled. I found the age (Casey was 17) gap not exactly inappropriate but I’d rather see my daughter spend time with friends in the same age range. Casey is very beautiful and a gifted student. She is also very conceited. To make this story short, she asked my daughter if she could try on the ring and refused to give it back. She later claimed that she lost it but “would look for it” so my daughter was distraught. My daughter kept asking for her ring and as a result, Casey shunned her and spread the word that my kid was trying to steal HER ring. Some kids at school took Casey’s side. So now Casey just wore my kid’s jewelry to school like nothing happened. If that doesn’t qualify as taunting I don't know what does.

My guilt comes from not being able to get my daughter to open up and feel safe telling me the truth. I talked to her and she burst into tears. I was both pained as a mother and furious that some teenage b!tch was doing this under our noses.

I went straight to Pat’s car after school. I asked to talk as Casey was about to go in. So I grabbed Casey’s hand and asked to see her jewelry. Casey froze and she tried to make a fist, so I became relentless. Casey yelled “Mom!” and Pat struggled to get out of the car. I slid the ring off (Casey has tiny hands and wore the ring on her index finger). First Pat yelled at me. After I confronted her with the engraving on the band (my grandma's maiden name), she argued it was loaned to her daughter by my kid. Then she said she bought it. I paid no heed. I did warn them that I knew Casey had become an abusive friend to my daughter.

Pat called me to tell me off. She said she was trying to raise an assertive young woman and I had just messed that up by being “overbearing”. She never apologized for her thief of a child.

Pat's husband ( Hank) is what can be described as a doormat. Pat wore him down to a knob. He had no choice but to “obey” her to keep the peace. She was a bully who actively withdrew affection when he didn’t follow her wishes, even in public. So she got kids #4 and #5 after a relentless campaign that included leaving him for two months. Her pregnancies were a nuisance because she expected to be treated like the only lady who has even been pregnant. She strolled around in a wheelchair almost immediately after getting pregnant and she would “get very sick” on weekends, so her kids were often sent to friends and family so that she could “rest”.

Pat systematically bullied Hank. She would leave town and take the kids with her. Poor Hank would look distraught, drinking on his porch or just looking really lonely. This is how she got off the hook and was able to leave her job. Hank had virtually no voice, so he struggled to keep the marriage together. Everyone liked him, but hated her equally. Hank loved to talk to other people but seemed concerned that Pat would be upset. Over time, according to my husband, Hank began to show signs of depression and mental distress.

Our friend, Lenah, runs the wedding/prom dress initiative. It's not complicated. Dresses are sourced from donations, ebay, trunk shows, etc. Unusually beautiful dresses are retained so that more than one bride gets to wear them. In some cases, a bride will pay 50 bucks, but most of the time, the dresses are donated to the bride.

Pat was involved in this. Lenah kept her in because they never had any issues and her task was limited to just shipping the dresses out.

Pat decided to renew her vows and her bridezilla Karenzilla attitude became the icing on the cake. For starters, she bullied another couple into giving up their wedding date at the farm because she “needed her renewal to match her exact wedding date”. They were not impressed with her harassment, so they booked another venue. As a result, the farm owners were pissed because Pat was already costing them money after she had successfully negotiated a cut in their rate “because she couldn't afford it but will repay by doing maintenance work around the venue” (she never made good on her word).

Pat became attached to a particular dress that was already assigned to another bride. Lenah made it clear that she would need to pay for her own dress. So Pat played it cool and shipped the wrong gown instead. She was adamant that it was the right dress, despite all the notes on Leah’s agenda. The other bride was truly gracious about it. She was obviously disappointed, but never made a scene.

What bothered me most is that I picked that dress and bought it for 40 bucks at a garage sale (not my money, Leah’s money). It was a vintage dress, ankle length, white with lots of lace and a huge bargain. Again, when confronted, Pat “did a Casey” and used the “this is mine” strategy. We felt so bad for the other bride that we did our best to get her something nice to wear. The other bride was a true fighter, she had pulled out of welfare, earned her high school diploma and was working to get on her feet by trying to earn a certificate as an acrylic nail technician. So, her reward was to have some Karen steal her dress? Pat never admitted to messing up, but just by the fact that she claimed it was her dress, we knew.

Lenah never allowed her in her warehouse again. Their last phone fight ended with Pat bringing up the other bride’s past (like it mattered) and “this conversation is over, it's my dress and you are mistaken”. That was weeks before the other bride’s wedding.

Pat went all out on her wedding decor. She spent way too much. She hired a caterer for some food (mainly mimosas and appetizers), but the wedding invitation included a request for specific dishes for her Sunday brunch wedding. Either she ran out of banquet money or was on a complete moocher mode.I picture the penguin walking upon practically asking everyone to supply her wedding reception grub and I cringe.

There is nothing wrong with potluck weddings. In fact, they can be a nice addition to a very cozy and family oriented wedding reception. But, don’t you need to at least be close to your guests in order to ask for such a thing? Even I got an invitation. I told everyone I wasn’t going because I was very uncomfortable being told what to bring and was probably expected to give them a cash gift on top of that. Some of the older ladies in our group agreed. Some said they would not decline in advance because she is a bully and they didn’t want a confrontation.

Lenah called me the night before Pat’s re-wedding. Lenah was there to close the Saturday night bingo and Pat was awfully friendly, but that’s what she does whenever things are going her way. Lenah peeked into the garment bag and saw the exact same dress while Pat was caught up supervising the wedding decoration.

The thing with Karens is that they expect everyone to suck it up, or make their dreams come true, or they simply underestimate everyone and think we are all fools.

Lenah is a very straightforward person with a “so sue me” attitude. She told me she would just ruin the dress. After all, it was hers, so she could do whatever she wanted. If Pat wanted to take legal action, and should things get ugly, she needed to prove ownership. However, the dress was the same, the marks inside the hem and the tags were the same. Even the tag numbers that were punched to identify each dress for logistics purposes matched.

Pat had the dress altered, with some extra beading and dyed to a deep cream color. But it was obviously the same garment. Lenah and I snuck in before the venue was closed for the night. All brides are allowed to stay in a small bedroom for a small charge, so that they don’t need to drive in on their wedding day. Honestly, the makeshift chapel was gorgeous, I don’t know how she paid for it but it was full of flowers and presumptuous details. I naively brought in some ink to spill on the dress, but Lenah said she wanted “something more awful, like a nasty surprise”. Ink would be too obvious and if she saw it ahead, she may be able to snag another gown from somewhere. No, the ideal thing was to have her trust the dress was fine. So Lenah locked herself in a bathroom stall and completely cut out the back panel. She patiently put it back on its hanger and zipped the bag. We left through the emergency door with the back of the dress stuffed inside Lenah's purse. I completely hate people who target and steal from anyone they (Pat and her kid) calculate to be in a weaker position.

The wedding was scheduled at 9 AM. Pat called me at 7 AM, but I ignored her calls. I picked up by 8 AM, both curious and wondering if she suspected anything. Pat was frantic.She was crying that her dress was “missing by half”. I purposely made her explain, being annoyingly dense and continually interrupting like she does, and stalling the conversation. She asked me if I could lend her my wedding dress. I said no, sorry. She then asked me if I would help her get a dress. I was satisfied to remind her that the town's bridal shops were closed on Sunday and the others that would open were almost an hour away. The farm is already almost one hour away from our town.

If Pat could get a shop to rent a dress, she would need to try the dress on, and get it steamed. Even if the dress was ready to wear, it would easily take more than two hours (roundtrip). She tried to ask me to go pick a dress (who would pay for this??). Even if a shop were open and brought her a dress, it would add to the cost. Also, these shops open at 10 or 9:30 at earliest. By time they got to her, it would be time to wrap up the wedding because she needed to clear the venue by 12:00 for the next event.

She broke down and mumbled some stupid stuff I didn't understand. So Pat hung up on me and called Lenah instead.. She asked Lenah to bring her “anything she had available”. Lenah and I ended up delivering the most outdated, moss smelling, oversized dressed. Pat’s disappointment was a mix between angry and emotional. She also tried to wear her knee length silk bridal slip as a wedding dress but it was too obvious and it really looked cheap. She tried to get her daughter to give her her own dress to wear with an open back zipper (due to fitting issues) but Casey refused, asking if she was supposed to attend the wedding naked (she got a point, plus Casey is petite).

The dress needed a petticoat to plump up the skirt, which wasn’t available. So it dragged all over the floor and Pat had to keep pulling it up. Pat walked down the aisle with one hand on her bouquet and another one grabbing her dress. The dress looked limp and weird with the arrangements of pins (they didn’t show) that caused the sleeves and neckline to pucker into messy rims. She spent the ceremony looking uncomfortable and out of place. Very few people attended but that was not part of any revenge, that was just how people reacted to her entitled attitude.

The dress looked awful. The reception portion of the wedding had all this princely decoration, a very nice cake and a bridezilla with a dress from hell. I didn’t stay, but I was told, she was so disappointed she spent her wedding sulking. There was no dance, no actual speech. She had to change into a shirt and leggings because the dress was too uncomfortable. Everyone talked about how Pat put on her flip flops and walked around aimlessly until she ordered the ushers to start folding up the chairs within one hour of the reception. So she practically kicked everyone out and the cake was never cut.

Pat wasn’t the same after this.She was not as loud and avoided everyone. I think she was disappointed that nobody ran to her rescue, not even her family who came from out of town.

Her husband finally cracked under all the pressure and sought some help. He was slaving away and coming home to clean the house while Pat used her kids as an excuse to spend like crazy. Hank also had to do kid homework because Pat never had time or never had patience. She also refused to get a partime job so her kids could attend an afterschool and get help with their school stuff. Therapy seemed to help Hank because the last time Pat left with her kids, he didn't seem distraught. He would be riding his bicycle and could be seen more relaxed while mowing his lawn. Hank told my husband that he had contemplated suicide after their third kid. When Pat returned, he maintained the routine but was interested in going out by himself and doing things for himself. We began to see Pat alone all the time. Hank was seen less and less in the same car and eventually moved in with his parents. He filed for divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty and I don't think he won. Instead (I’m not sure of this because this is what I was told) there was some sort of a settlement or agreement that she would not get close or interact with him unless it has to do with the kids).

I also don’t know if Pat even actually suspected who/what happened to her dress. She slowly pulled away from the community center and became less active in social gatherings. Pat also removed me from her facebook as well as mostly everyone else from school and the center.

TLDR

Bridezilla stole a wedding dress from an underprivileged woman. The actual dress owner destroys her big day.

(source) story by (/u/forestcabin123k)

[airis-paris14]

Wonder What She Thinks 5

Summary: She learns to love herself and he loses the best thing he ever had.

Masterlist || 4 || 5 || Epilogue

I wonder what she thinks of me, when you stay awake. After you make love to her, but I’m still on your brain.

- “Wonder What She Thinks of Me” Chloe x Halle

“It’s time!” Shuri jerked her head up from reading the notification on her phone. The King and Queen both paused their conversation, “Now,” Queen Ramonda clarified, her face breaking into a large smile. Shuri nodded excitedly. “Time for what?” T’Challa frowned as his family members stood from the table and began heading out of the room, his mother handing out orders left and right. “Zoe is having the babies!” Shuri beamed before following her mother out of the room. T’Chaka paused, “Why are you not moving. Let’s go, son,” he urged. “Baba,” T’Challa swallowed the knot in his throat, “I can not go.”

“Son-“

“No Baba. Nakia and I are not in a good space right now. I cannot just up and leave to see a woman, who is not my wife, give birth to her children.”

The king shook his head, “T’Challa those twins are yours as well. Your firstborns I might add. I am more than sure Nakia will understand. Nothing is more important than being there for your children. Nothing.” The king insisted. “Baba, I cannot-“

“No T’Challa. You can go but you are refusing. I know it hurts that Zoe-Iman has moved on, but I thought I raised you better than this. You don’t avoid a situation because it is uncomfortable. You don’t avoid a situation because it is messy. And you especially do not avoid your children because you are upset that their mother found happiness with another after you did not treasure her.”

“I need to patch things up with my wife,” T’Challa deflected. “And she will still be here, and just as upset when you get back. However, the birth of your firstborn only happens once T’Challa.”

“Baba! We have to go so we don’t miss anything. Ayo and Okoye are waiting,” Shuri popped her head back in the dining room. “Are you coming too?” She looked at T’Challa. The prince opened his mouth before closing it and shaking his head. “I will let Nakia know where everyone has gone.”

Shuri glared at her brother and shook her head. T’Chaka sighed and walked over to his youngest. “You will regret this T’Challa. Your children may never forgive you if you decide to enter their lives at some point. Which I truly hope you do,” he shook his head before walking out with the scientist.

The future king watched as his family members walked out and let out the breath he’d been holding. He hated that he couldn’t bring himself to be honest with himself, Zoe, or Nakia. While Zoe-Iman had made it clear where she stood in their relationship, the king knew that his heart still belonged to her.

“Where’d everyone go, and why are you crying?” Nakia lifted her husband's chin. He scrambled to wipe the tears he didn’t know had fallen. “Zoe has gone into labor.”

“You didn’t join them?”

“I figured we should talk about what happened last night and seriously try to fix our relationship.”

“T’Challa-“ Nakia raised a hand to stop him, “the truth please.”

“You don’t think we should work on our relationship?”

“T’Challa it has been broken since the moment we said I do. A woman is giving birth to your firstborn child! And you’re standing here looking like ass!”

“She’s having twins.”

Nakia scoffed, “You are unbelievable! Stop using me and this failed relationship as an excuse to avoid facing your fears. Call me to work on this marriage when you grow the fuck up.” The young bride stormed out of the dining room and ran into a servant carrying an armful of baby gifts “I’m so sorry princess, I just-“

“Please it was my fault. Who are the gifts for?”

“The King and Queen had them created for a friend's baby in the states, but they were accidentally left behind. They just messaged asking for someone to bring them along after them.” The staff member explained. Nakia bit her lip and decided to say her next sentence before she could overthink it, “I will take them.”

“Oh my baby,” Phylicia James rushed into the hospital room and pulled her groaning daughter into her arms. “Hi mommy,” Zoe-Iman smiled after her latest round of contractions passed. The older woman grinned and proceeded to smother her daughter in kisses. “I can’t believe my little busy bee is having a baby.”

“Busy bee?” Michael grinned sitting up in the armchair he’d been half-heartedly following a football game from. “Don’t start with me Jordan,” Iman warned as her boyfriend raised his arms in defeat. Zoe’s mom walked over to the young man and flicked him in the head before giving him a hug. “Be kind to my baby. One day you gonna want her to push your big-headed kids out. So you need this to go as smoothly as possible.”

“Where’s daddy?” The mother to be asked as she waved a hand, signaling for someone to help her sit up. “Probably still trying to find a park.” Phylicia glanced out the window once Michael stood to help her daughter shift in the bed. “It’s gotten crowded?”

“Nope, Geoffrey is just very particular about who gets to park next to old Heathcliff.” Mrs. James rolled her eyes and took a seat on the window sill. Eyeing the way the actor helped her daughter through the contractions that had just set in. He was rubbing her hand and back as she squeezed, breathed, and groaned her way through the birthing pre-game.

“Did you let T’Challa know you were in labor?”Zoe nodded as Michael helped her get comfortable in the bed. “I text Shuri on the way over here. She said they were in their way. It’ll be a couple of hours yet.”

“You’re still not talking to that boy directly?” Phylicia frowned. “He has a wife, mama. He didn’t wanna share his number but the rest of his family wanted to be in contact.”

“So you don’t know if he’s coming?”

Zoe shook her head, “but we’ll be fine either way. I got me and my babies. I got you and Michael and daddy. Their other grandparents and their uncle. They got enough, they don’t need T’Challa.” Zoe’s mother glanced at Michael as he continued to rub her daughter's back. Their glance said it all, Zoe’s face said it all; she was lying. It would crush her if T’Challa missed this. She wanted her children’s father to be there. To hold them and to bond. It was killing her that she had no control over whether or not he would show up.

Zoe tried to secretly wipe away the tears that had gathered as her mother sighed, “Well where are my other daughters?”

“Kenois went to get lunch and Sylia had another patient go into labor too,” Zoe explained. Her mother moved to take a seat at the foot of the bed. “Are you hungry? Did you eat something?”

“Not yet, we were out at dinner when everything started. Kenny is supposed to be bringing me something back.”

“Why didn’t you go,” Phylicia raised an eyebrow at her future son-in-law. “She said I was the only person who wasn’t annoying her,” the actor laughed. “It’s true. I was this close to ruining my friendship with Kenois and I need my job.”

“Girl,” Kenois kissed her teeth as she walked back into the room. “Hey mama,” she hugged Mrs. James before handing the couple their food. “She always over exaggerating. I was just trying to get her to walk around to help with the pain.”

“And I said I wanted to stay in bed,” Zoe mean mugged Kenois as she took the chair Michael was originally sitting in.

“Babycakes, walking could do you and those little ones some good. Help gravity guide them out,” mama James butted in. “Why do you always take Keni’s side? I’m your real daughter,” Iman pouted as her mama held out her hands to pull her upright. “Cause I’m right more often.” Kenois grinned as she stuck out her tongue.

Phylicia shook her head at the girl’s antics, “I swear you two fight like you actually shared a womb.”

“Knock, knock.”

Everyone in the room looked up as the young African Princess and her parents walked into the room. “We didn’t miss anything right?” The teen walked over to give Zoe a hug and her parents followed suit. “Nope it’ll probably be a few hours yet,” Zoe Iman smiled, pulling each member of the family into a hug. She glanced at the door behind them before looking back to the king and Queen. It felt as though the air itself held its breath until the king sighed and shook his head.

“He sends his sincerest regrets that he could not be here. He had an urgent matter to attend to-"

“You do not have to make excuses for him, your majesty if he chooses not to be here. He chooses not to be here. You all made the time and that truly means the world to me, and these children,” Zoe offered a sad smile and caressed her swollen stomach. Queen Ramonda gripped Zoe’s hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Tears welled in Zoe’s eyes before Phylicia James cleared her throat.

“Right Mama, this is Her Majesty Queen Mother Ramonda, His majesty King T’Chaka, the brave, and Her Royal Highness Shuri Udaku, of Wakanda. T’Challa’s mother, father, and sister respectively.” Zoe introduced and the two mothers met for a quick hug. “It is so very nice to meet you,” Ramonda smiled. “Zoe talks so highly of you all the time. “Same here, it is an honor your majesty,” Mama James replied. “Please, we are family, No formalities required,” King T’Chaka insisted and Ramonda agreed.

Shuri took a seat at the edge of the bed while the rest of the introductions were made. Soon Zoe-Iman’s father and brother had joined the group and everyone was settled in various places around the spacious private suite. The royal family had made the arrangements as the room needed to be secure for their attendance. Ayo and Okoye stood watch at the door as the hours ticked past. Finally in a whirlwind of screaming, groaning, pushing, and wailing two beautiful babies were brought into the world later that afternoon.

After more hours of cuddling, kissing, passing, loving, and feeding her lovely newborn son and daughter Zoe, and the babies drifted off to sleep. When she awoke again the only other person in the room was King T’Chaka who was now comforting a fussy baby boy in his arms. “I would like you to name him,” Zoe broke the silence a few minutes later, startling the king. He smiled and gently placed the baby back in the hospital bed. “How are you feeling my dear?”

“I am fine. Just a little sore. Where did everyone go?”

“To grab something to eat. Michael just went down to the cafeteria before it closed. The others went to some restaurant Shuri was eager to try. Your mother said she would bring you back something to eat.”

Zoe nodded and the king helped her to sit up. “You were not hungry?”

The king smiled, “My future son-in-law, by proxy, offered to bring me something back. I knew he was tired too so I told him to stay and eat his food before coming back up. It was a miracle to even get him to go that far from you. I like that young man. He is a keeper eh?” Zoe laughed and nodded her head.

“You have made me so proud today Zoe-Iman James. You have given me my first grandchildren. My heart is overflowing and I could never thank you enough. You have made this old man feel young again.”

Zoe smiled, “No thanks are needed. Besides you doing me the honor of naming your grandson.”

“Are you sure, that is his father’s job or your father’s job?”

You are the closest thing here to T’Challa. Probably the closest thing this child will have to T’Challa. You know your son’s heart, and I know you will do his wishes for the naming of his firstborn son well.”

Tears filled T'Chaka's eyes, “Then you will have to give me time to think of the perfect name, my child.”

Zoe grinned. “I have to name them by tomorrow morning for the birth certificate.”

“I shall have a name for you then.”

“May I come in?” Nakia stepped into the doorway before her conscience could stop her again. “Nakia, what a surprise?” The king glanced at Zoe who nodded that she could come in. “I came to bring the gifts you all left behind. For the babies.” The Princess stuttered slightly. Moving closer to the woman who had just given birth to her husband's children. “Thank you, to both of you,” Zoe smiled, hoping to reassure the woman that she was okay with her presence, “this was very kind.”

“I was also hoping that Zoe-Iman and I could talk?”

T’Chaka glanced at Zoe who nodded before he stood. He placed the gift basket with the others before heading for the door. “I’ll join Michael in the cafeteria. Just call if you need anything. Though you are in good hands with Nakia,” the king patted the young bride’s back then took his leave.

The women stared at each other in silence before Nakia spoke, “They are beautiful,” she smiled down at the babies.

“I know. I cannot believe they are mine. Or that there are two of them.” The young women laughed. “I hope there are no ill feelings between us. There are none on my end,” Nakia started.

“There are none on my end either,” Zoe reassured. “You are probably wondering why I came,” Nakia broke the silence that had formed once more. “It had crossed my mind.”

“After they left T’Challa told me that you had gone into labor. I know that T’Challa being here was the best-case scenario but, I know that technically I am the babies’ stepmother and I wanted to be here for them. To support them. I know they have a lot of support already, but I wanted you to know that I am on their team as well. When they see me I will love and take care of them as if they were my own. No matter what T’Challa decides to do.”

The new mother smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks, “Stupid hormones,” she sniffed as Nakia giggled. “Thank you, truly. These children are more loved than I could ever have imagined.”

“And forever that way it shall stay,” Nakia glanced at the sleeping newborns, “forever it shall stay.”

“Would you like to hold one?” Zoe asked as she noticed the woman glancing at the gurgling newborns.

“Oh I couldn’t-“

“Yes you can,” Zoe smiled, “I trust you. I see how you stare at them with nothing but love in your eyes.”

Nakia teared up as Zoe had her pulled the cribs closer so she could lift the babies out. She lifted her daughter and pressed a kiss to her small forehead, “I haven’t told anyone but Michael yet, her name is Ka’aulani.” Zoe rocked the infant before placing her gently in Nakia’s hands.

“That is beautiful.” Zoe watched silent tears fall as Nakia interacted with the infant. “Nakia, are you alright?”

The woman laughed and wiped her eyes, “I just am overwhelmed for I fear I may never have this moment myself.”

“Why do you say that? I am sure T’Challa would not mind giving you a child.” Zoe reassured leaning over to fix the blanket around the baby once Nakia had taken a seat. “I am sure he wouldn’t,” the princess laughed dryly, “however it is me that is not so sure she wants to have a child with him. He has changed. The old T’Challa would move hell and high water to be here. This new prince, he makes excuses to protect himself. Any child we make would not be created out of love. I don’t want him to be there just because he feels obligated because we are married. I’ve only ever wanted to make a child out of love. Like these precious ones.”

Zoe nodded, “I am not sure how much these two were made out of love. It seemed more like alcohol was responsible for these two.”

“What do you mean?”

“T’Challa and I were both drunk-“

“T’Challa cannot get drunk,” Nakia frowned. Zoe laughed at her straight face, “He may want you all to believe that but he was all the way messed up. Stumbling all over the place, rambling about wanting to marry me and everything-“

“Zoe, if he said that, it was not the alcohol speaking. T’Challa can drink enough for 30 grown men and still only feel a slight buzz. I know this sounds crazy but now is not the time and place to explain. Just now that our country’s rulers are given a special ‘miracle drug’ if you will that helps their bodies function better than most humans.”

“So T’Challa was completely sober when that night happened?”

“Yes, and if you were drunk, he knows better than to take advantage-“

“I wasn’t,” Zoe interrupted, turning to hide her face. “You were not drunk either?”

“No, I just said that cause it was easier than admitting the truth. Do you know how it feels to give in to someone who you swore would never get to be in your presence again?”

Nakia nodded and looked up from the sleeping infant in her arms, “I married him.”

The room fell into silence again. “I forget how similar our situations really are.”

“Similar but not the same. He is truly in love with you. I highly suspect he always will be.” Nakia readjusted the baby in her arms.

“There will always be love for him in my heart but I have moved on. I’m starting a new chapter. I am in love with Michael.”

“I can tell, “Nakia giggled, “At the wedding, it looked more like you two were newlyweds. Dancing out on the balcony in your own little world.”

Iman blushed, “He makes me extremely happy.” She reached into the blanket and fished out her daughter's fist that’d she began waving in her sleep.

“I hope that I find something that magical one day,” Nakia sighed, “and finally get to have the family I want.”

Zoe pulled Nakia in for a hug. “These two are here for you to visit anytime you would like. If T'Challa is not treating you how he should, I say leave him. I know it is not that easy and I cannot pretend to know the stress and pressure you are under as a member of the royal family, and it may be the American in me, but you deserve a happy life too.”

Nakia nodded and smiled as Ka’aulani wrapped her tiny hand around her pointer finger and yawned. “I will think about it.” Naki smiled at Zoe before both of their attentions were pulled by Zoe’s crying baby boy.

“Aww baby,” Zoe cooed before another male voice interrupted her. “Aht Aht! You are supposed to be in bed.” Michael frowned as he placed the food bags on the counter. “And what just let my baby scream his lungs out?”

“He just needs him a little Mikey. I got this,” the actor cradled the infant in his arms and rocked him back and forth. “See?” He grinned as the little boy opened his eyes and stared up at the man. Zoe shook her head and scooted back into the bed. “Nakia,” Michael offered a somewhat confused greeting once he noticed the princess cuddling the twin in front of him. “Nice to see you again Mr. Jordan.”

“Likewise, is T’Challa here?”

“No,” Nakia shook her head, “I come alone but I must confess that I did indeed try to persuade him. But it looks like the twins have an amazing father figure already.”

“I will do my best,” Michael grinned and bounced the young boy in his arms. “So when will you make an honest woman out of my friend?” The future queen teased as the young couple broke into laughter. “As soon as she lets me,” the man grinned and Zoe rolled her eyes.

“Oh lord. Don’t get him started. He already told everyone to call me Mrs. Jordan at all of my appointments.”

“I think it’s cute,” Nakia smiled.

“I just wanna be back to my old figure before we even embark on that journey,” Zoe smiled watching her lover and newfound friend cuddle her children.

“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” Michael pressed a kiss to her lips and Nakia felt her heart soar at the fact that Zoe had found someone to love her. At that moment, she knew what she needed to do.

“Nakia?” King T’Chaka called.

“My king,” the princess stood and bent her head slightly to acknowledge the King’s presence.

“May I speak with you in the hall for a moment?”

The princess laid the baby girl in Zoe’s arms and let Michael take her spot on the bed. “Yes, my king?” Nakia shut the suite door behind her.

“I owe you an apology. I pressured myself, your father, and T’Challa into believing you were the only option and robbed you of the chance to a happy marriage. For that, I could never apologize enough.”

“It is okay. I still made the decision to go along with it. Even when I realized T’Challa was not in love with me.”

“You made the choice out of a feeling of duty and responsibility. That is not how you choose a spouse. In three days the 90-day annulment agreement is off the table. If you wish to leave T’Challa and this marriage, I wrote a loophole into the contract. It will be done quietly and you will be allowed to retain all that you have and your place in the royal family if you so choose.”

Tears welled in Nakia’s eyes. She threw her arms around the king and cried, “Thank you.”

The king pulled back, “Go and be happy dear girl. You only have one life to live. Make the decisions that are best for you.”

“My prince,” a servant knocked on T’Challa’s office door and he waved her in. “Your mother is requesting your presence at a hospital in America.”

The man rubbed his forehead, “Please tell my mother I am not planning to join them on this family excursion-“

“But my prince,”

“Please. That is all I have to say on the matter-“

“Forgive me for interrupting but it is your father. He is not doing well. She wishes that you join them to say goodbye, kumkani wam.”

The blood drained from T’Challa’s face when the staff member addressed him as the king for the first time. With those two words, she said everything he needed to know.

“Have Oneka ready a jet-“

“She is already waiting and a bag has been packed as well.” T’Challa nodded and jogged on to the hey as servants paused to bow to him, their first acknowledgment of him as a king.

“Why won’t they bring him here?” T’Challa asked his co-pilot Oneka as they lifted off into the sky minutes later.

“From what Okoye has reported, he is refusing. He wants to spend his final hours with his children and grandchildren. He also is saying that he has unfinished business at the hospital.”

“Unfinished business?”

“No one is quite sure but I am almost positive it has something to do with his new grandchildren.”

“So I assume you know what is truly going on at the hospital?”

“Ayo and Onoye made me aware a while ago at the king's request. I am to be in charge of the children’s security when they are here on Wakandan soil.”

“I am glad, they could not be in better hands.”

The woman nodded, “I am grateful for the compliment but I disagree. The best hands they could be in are yours. Yet you are here with me.”

T’Challa’s face hardened, “That is none of your concern.”

The rest of the hour-long plane ride went by in silence, with the new father staring out of the window. He thanked the warrior after she walked him up to his father’s room. “I am going to go see the babies. Ayo is already inside.” Oneka bowed her head before sheathing her spear and walking off down the hall.

The son took a deep breath before pushing open the door to his father’s room, “Baba?”

“Uyana wam,” the king pushed himself up in the bed. T’Challa rushed to help him up the rest of the way. “Where are mama and Shuri?”

“I sent them back to keep Zoe and the babies company so we could talk alone.”

“What happened,” T’Challa pulled up a chair to his father's bedside, “you were fine when you left.”

“The official diagnosis is a blood clot in my brain, but Bast has visited me and I know that my time is near. I will not walk out of this hospital alive T’Challa, and I want to right my wrongs. My last wrong, being you.”

“What-“

“I gave you the idea that an outsider could never be a good match. But after meeting Zoe-Iman, I am glad to say that I was wrong T’Challa. I am not saying go win her back. I have seen how happy she is and she is like a daughter to me. Therefore I see it as my duty to protect her from knuckleheads who will hurt her, my own son included. You will find another love T'challa. But those children you created, need a father. I would hate to pass on and think my discouragement led to them missing their father.”

“Baba I can’t-“

“You can and you will. As your king, I command it.” T’Chaka leaned back on his pillows and grabbed a letter off of his bedside. “Since you were not present, Zoe asked me to name your son in your place. But you are here now. If you would like to name the baby, then by all means go ahead, but please deliver that letter to Zoe. If you choose not to name the baby it outlines the name I have chosen. Either way. My dying wish is that you join those children’s lives now and love them like a father should. Train them in the Wakandan ways so that you may experience the joy I have had simply holding them as a grandfather.”

The king held the letter out for his son who took it and stared as if it might detonate at any moment. “Take it, I want you to see those babies. Goodbye Uyana wam. Kiss my grandchildren goodbye for me.”

Tears streamed down T’Challa’s face as he shook his head, “Baba please,” he croaked as the king closed his eyes one final time. Nurses, doctors, his mother, Shuri, and guards rushed into the room as the king flatlined. His son’s tears soaked the sheets and Ramonda had to move him away so the professionals could do their job.

Shuri pulled her older brother into a hug as their mother went to kiss her husband goodbye before he was rolled out of the room. Once T'Chaka was rolled out of the room towards the jet for his final flight home she noticed the envelope in his hand.

“What is this?” The queen grabbed the envelope from her son but he stopped her, “He wrote it for Zoe. She asked him to name the babies.”

“I’m going to go say goodbye, so you can see Zoe alone,” Shuri wiped her face stepping back from T’Challa’s hug. “I’m right behind you” the mother turned back to her son, “Make him proud. Be the man he knew you could be.” She patted the new king’s cheeks.

T’Challa thumbed with the flap of the envelope while trailing behind his mother and sister. Laughter caught his attention and he found himself peering through the hall windows into Zoe’s room. The love of his life was nestled in between the legs and arms of another man, his wife was holding his daughter as his mother pressed a kiss to her forehead, and Shuri was rocking the infant wearing a blue cap. His son. Sadness and happiness flooded his heart in equal parts. Before the scene could do irreparable damage he knocked on the door and fiddled with the envelope.

“Challa,” Zoe called, sadness laced the curves of her voice and the king knew that he couldn’t look up and face her pity for too long. “Iman,” the king moved closer in the room. “Before my father passed, he wrote this for you and the babies. I do not know what it says but he was adamant that made it you.”

“Thank you. Did he mention the name?”

“He said his answer was enclosed in the letter.”

Zoe nodded and everyone looked up at the king expectantly. He walked over to his mother, sister, and wife. He smiled, caressed each of the babies' faces, and pressed a kiss to their foreheads before moving back. “Thank you,” he turned to Zoe, trying to fight the frown on his face at seeing Michael kiss her forehead to comfort her. “They are beautiful.”

Zoe offered a small smile. “I will be waiting in the jet.” The king turned on his heel and strolled quickly out of the room. Nakia sighed and handed Ka’aulani to her mother. Shuri placed the baby boy in Iman’s other arm before pressing a final kiss to his small head.

“That was probably the best he could muster. You two get some rest and we will let you know about the homegoing celebration tomorrow.” Ramonda sighed and pulled Zoe into a hug of her own and placed a kiss on her forehead. She ran a finger over each of her grandchildren’s faces before leading the way out to the jet. “Wait,” Shuri poked her head back in the room. Your son, what is his name?”

Zoe waved the letter, “We will have to ask your father.”

“Give me my niece and nephew,” Shuri pulled the week-old babies from their carriers once the family was alone in the castle once more. T’Chaka’s funerals had been a days-long celebration of his life. Wakandans rejoiced at his transition to an ancestor and prepared for the coronation of a new king.

T'Challa was nowhere to be found but Ramonda chose to focus on the little ones her daughter was cuddling close. Her heart hurt for the loss of her husband, but she took comfort in having the babies close as their arrival was on his lips and smile until he took his last breath. “Thank you all for coming,” the Queen Mother smiled. “Of course, we wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I am just glad the doctors here were able to get me back on my feet in time.” Zoe-Iman brushed her daughter's hair back. Michael nodded in agreement and pulled his girlfriend in closer. “Did you ever figure out the name situation?” Shuri bounced the babies gently. “Yeah, meet Ka’aulani Akhona Udaku and Meluzmi Bathandwa Udaku.”

What do they mean?” Ramonda smiled at the thought she knew her daughter-in-law and husband had put into the children’s names. “Ka’aulani Akhona means the sacred royal gift. And King T’Chaka said Meluzmi Bathandwa means the beloved who represents home.”

Tears pricked Ramonda’s eyes. “That was almost T’Challa’s name. He always said he would give it to his first grandson,” the queen smiled and Zoe moved over to hug her. “He tried to insist I choose someone else, but I knew he would do my son justice.”

Michael cleared his throat, “he also gave me this letter addressed to the both of you.”

The actor handed the letter to the queen as she frowned. The babies started fussing and Zoe went to feed them in the corner. “Zoe-Iman,”

T’Challa stood in the doorway, “May I talk to you?”

“Sure,” Zoe handed her daughter off to Michael, before following the king down the hall into his office. T’Challa held open the door as the mother of his children and an estranged best friend walked through the door. “It looks nice,” Zoe ran a hand over the upholstered chairs placed in front of the large window. “Thank you.”

“You should put some pictures up. Make it feel more homey.”

“What is wrong with it how it is?”

“It feels stiff. You’re here, but it’s a shell of you.”

“You sound like Nakia.”

Zoe shrugged,” She’s known you for a long time. That’s why you married her right? You two were close as children?” T’Challa took a seat in his chair, “We are getting a divorce.”

“I am sorry, I did not know. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly,” T’Challa slipped off his sandals,” Relieved. I hated making Nakia unhappy. Maybe it is best that I am alone right now.”

“You are never alone,” Iman interrupted, “ We are all still here for you, especially right now during this time.”

“I know, I have a lot to rediscover. A lot to learn, about being a father, an ex-husband, a king, and a better friend. I am truly sorry for how I treated you, Zoe. I should have been there for you as a friend and as the father of our children.”

Zoe nodded, “I know, but like I told you. That was a promise to your children, not me. They need actions, not words.”

“I know, that is why I wanted to talk. I will be publicly claiming the twins as my heirs at my coronation. That will mean that they will have to spend part of the year here, with me. I want them to spend part of the year here with me. I will come and visit now since they are too young but we will have to-”

Zoe teared up and wrapped T’Challa in a hug, “I’ll do whatever it takes. I trust you, and I want nothing more for them to love and know you.”

“Thank you,” T’Challa sniffed when Zoe pulled back from the hug. “Of course, I would never keep them from you-”

“No, I mean...you have no reason to trust me after all the mess I put you through, but you do and I can do nothing but thank you and work to make my children proud. To make you and my father proud.”

“You will, we all just want to see the old T’Challa come back. For you to find happiness again.”

“We will see, but for now, my children are enough.”

“Then you should meet them properly.” Zoe reminded and the king stood and slipped on his shoes. “I know. I had been thinking, and it is okay if you’re not comfortable, but I could give you and Michael a break. For the night before you all head back tomorrow afternoon. The twins can stay here with me. Mother and Shuri helping of course.”

Zoe smiled, “I think that is a great idea, but something is missing.”

“We have a nursery and you can pump-”

“No, but I think you should at least know the babies’ names and hold them before you decide to have them over for the night. Not that I don’t think you will like them or vice versa, but what will you call them when they are crying if you don’t know them and they don’t know you?”

T’Challa frowned, “I hadn’t thought of it.”

“That is why they have a mother and a father. It is all easily fixed if you’d come to see the rest of the family. Everyone is worried about you, isolating yourself.”

The couple trailed out of the office and back down the hall to the living room, “I know, but I was dealing with the guilt of my actions. I just needed some time to wade through and process how I was feeling.”

“It is always hard losing a father T’Challa. We understand and we are just trying to help.”

“I know, but it was just not about my father… I lost the love of my life as well.”

“T’Challa-”

“I am not trying to win you over, I am just giving you an explanation. It was a selfish move, but it hurt so bad to see you happy and in love. To see another man treating you how I should have been doing. However, I am happy you are receiving the love you deserve.”

Zoe nodded, “Thank you. I’m truly happy and that means a lot.”

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @derangedcupcake @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr @tchallasbabymama

[kaimelia]

Heartbeats (Ch 5)

a/n: hi! sorry for the delay with this...but it’s back!

-----------------

Amelia grimaced as she tied the back of her husband's hospital gown, wincing at the sight of his pale skin. He'd definitely lost weight, even if it had only been a few weeks since he started chemo. She sighed and dropped her hand from his back, lightly tracing down his spine as she did so. "You're feeling okay?" Link turned to face her.

"Not really." He sat down on the bed, running his hand over the neatly made sheets on the bed. Amelia crossed her arms as she watched him.

"So, we haven't really talked since our fight."

"Do we have time for this right now?" She cringed and looked down into her lap, where her hands were neatly folded over each other, her thumb absentmindedly running over the back of her hand. "Teddy said she would be coming in soon to examine me before surgery." Amelia nodded, grabbing her phone from her purse. She'd spent the past week sleeping in the guest room, avoiding any time where the two of them might be alone in fear of the fight that would break out between them.

"I'll bring Scout to come and visit after surgery. Once you're cleared, of course." Link smirked at his wife.

"As long as I don't look too scary," he muttered, pulling the thin blanket over his legs. "If there are too many wires, he might freak out and think I'm a robot now."

"I think he'll be fine. He kept asking me what parts of your body they're going to cut open; he's a pretty gruesome kid." They both laughed momentarily, freezing like statues when the door was pushed open.

"Hey, we just need to take some blood before surgery and examine you again," Teddy spoke, walking towards Link. He sat up and held his arm out. "Hopefully, the poking and prodding will stop soon," she joked, inserting a needle into his arm.

"I'm surprised I've got any left; it feels like someone comes in here to take blood every hour."

"Well, you're a pretty good sport." Teddy pulled off her gloves, closing the vial of blood and placing it down on her cart. "I'll send an intern to check on you in about an hour, and then I'll be here to take you up to surgery at noon." She rubbed Link's shoulder lightly in support before exiting the room, leaving Amelia to pull a stool over to the bed.

"I told my parents," he confessed, taking her hand in his. "They were really freaked out, my mom cried, and my dad went silent, so you've gotta keep them updated during surgery." Her free hand moved to the side of Link's face, and she kissed him slowly, pulling back and resting her forehead against his.

"Thank you. For telling them," she whispered. Link could feel the smile that was playing across her lips as he leaned up to kiss her again, his hand wrapping around her head to pull her down to him. "Mm," she moaned at the familiar feeling of her husband's lips on hers.

"I missed you." His voice was low as he pulled her closer to him, Amelia throwing one of her legs over his body on the hospital bed so she was straddling him.

"Oh, crap, I'll come back," a voice spoke from the doorway. The couple broke apart quickly, Amelia almost falling off the bed as she pulled back just for Link's hand to wrap around her back and catch her.

"Nico, I didn't realize you were coming," Link muttered, steadying his wife as she stood up. "Sorry, now is fine." The other orthopedic surgeon shook his head in amusement and approached Link, pulling his stethoscope from his neck.

"Your heart rate is elevated; any explanation for that?" Nico teased, pulling up the chart on the tablet. "But, everything looks fine. Surgery should only take about 4 hours, and I'll have Levi make sure to text you updates," he motioned towards Amelia. "And again. We're not looking for complete margins today; we're just hoping to remove enough of the cancer to stop it from spreading further around your body while you continue chemo."

"You say that like I haven't done this surgery myself," Link mused, grabbing Amelia's hand.

"It's different when you're the patient. I'm still required to explain everything in simple terms and make sure that you both understand." Nico entered the man's blood pressure into the tablet and shut it off. "Any questions?"

"Can I sign a DNR before surgery?" Amelia's jaw dropped, and her eyebrows rose up to the ceiling as she released her husband's hand.

"What?"

"I'll have a nurse bring that in for you," Nico muttered, quickly excusing himself from the room. The door locked shut, and Amelia made eye contact with Link.

"What is this about a DNR?" He sighed, scooching over in the bed to create space for her.

"Look, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and if anything happens, I don't want you to have to hold onto some tiny strand of hope that I might one day get better." Link watched a tear roll down her face. "Amelia, please don't cry. This surgery is just to remove some of the cancer; I'm not going to die during it. I just want to start making sure that everything will be taken care of if something does happen in the future."

"I just wish you had told me before. I need to know what's going on with everything, especially what you're thinking about."

"I called our lawyer and got my will in order. Mine hadn't been updated since the pandemic." He placed a hand under her chin, tilting her face to look at him. "Amelia, what you said the other week made me feel terrible. I haven't been checking in on you as much as I should be, and I know this is insanely difficult for you, too." She glanced down at his arm, her lips forming a pout. "So, I want to make sure that if everything goes to shit and something happens to me, you'll both be okay. Everything will be taken care of, and all you'll have to do is take care of each other."

"Link, please don't talk like that," Amelia nearly cried out, whimpering as she placed her hand on his chest. "I don't want to think about that, okay?" He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and brought her closer to his body.

"Okay, let's just lay here for a little while, okay? I'm not going anywhere, Amelia."

-----------------

"Schmitt says they'll be closing up soon," Meredith rubbed her hand up and down her sister's back. "He's alright, Amelia." The brunette pursed her lips, running her hands through her hair.

"Am I gonna freak out every time he has surgery? Cause they've got, like, three more planned as of now, and if this happens every time, I think I might have a heart attack."

"I was almost convinced you were going to have a panic attack for a minute there. We'll find some distractions or do some fancy breathing techniques." Amelia grinned and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "When are you heading home?"

"Uh, I'll wait for Link to wake up and stay with him a bit. Scout's a little terrified, though, so I'm gonna bring him tomorrow when Link looks less like a zombie." She dragged her fingers over the seams of the couch in the attendings' lounge, glancing up at her sister. "Thank you for staying with me."

"Of course."

-----------------

"Hey, look who's awake," Amelia whispered, cupping her husband's face with her hand. He smiled tiredly and brought his hand up to cover hers.

"Hey," his voice was hoarse as he spoke. "How did it go?"

"As planned, they got decent margins, and now you're sentenced back to chemo for the next few weeks." She sat down on the side of the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Like I just woke up from surgery, and I'm super high on painkillers," he muttered, a wider grin showing on his face. "How long until I can go home?"

"You've got a day or two here. I'm heading home in a bit to go comfort Scout; he's still not convinced that you're not dead, even though Maggie got him pizza and spent the afternoon with him explaining that surgery went fine." He nodded, holding an arm open.

"Come cuddle," he moaned tiredly, shoving his face back down into the pillow.

"I have to leave soon. You're not the only one I have to take care of here, just one of many men in my life," she teased, slowly easing herself down into his embrace. "Just for a little bit."

"Mm. I love you, Amelia."

"You are on so many painkillers," she joked, kissing his hand. "But, I love you too."

-----------------

"Mommy!" Amelia grinned and kneeled down to greet her son, her arms spread widely before she embraced him tightly, kissing the side of his head.

"Hey, Scout," she picked him up, balancing the boy on her hip. "How was your day with Aunt Maggie?" Amelia made eye contact with Maggie and grinned widely, mouthing a quick 'Thank you' before Maggie excused herself, brushing her hand over her sister's shoulder as a goodbye.

"We went to the park, and Aunt Maggie got ice cream for us!" She smiled and walked into the living room, her mouth dropping at the sight in front of her.

"And what is this?"

"We made a pillow fort!" She set Scout down and got onto her hands and knees, crawling into the entrance of the fort. Scout followed her in and grabbed the stuffed giraffe past the opening, clinging it to his chest and laying onto the floor that had been covered in pillows and blankets. "Is Daddy okay?"

"Yeah, didn't Aunt Maggie tell you? They cut into his chest," she reached over to tickle her son's chest, "and took out some of the cancer so that Daddy can feel better." He giggled as she continued to tickle him, rolling over in the small area. Once she stopped, Scout moved to cuddle into her side, tucking his giraffe in between them.

"When do I see Daddy?"

"Tomorrow, once he's recovered a bit from surgery." She glanced down at him to see him sucking on his thumb, a nervous habit he'd developed, and they'd tried hard to get rid of. "Hey, Daddy's okay," her voice fell to a whisper, and she pulled Scout closer to her body.

"It's scary when Daddy has surgery. I don't like it." Amelia sighed and looked up at the thin sheet creating a make-shift ceiling over them, letting in a bit of light from the kitchen.

"I know, it's scary for all of us, even for Daddy. But, no more surgery for a little while, now he's going to get more medicine." A quiet sniffle filled the space, and Amelia quickly moved her hand to brush through his hair. "Hey, you're feeling really scared?" He nodded his head with tears in his eyes, grabbing his giraffe again.

"I don't want Daddy to die." The mother pouted her lip out, her eyebrows furrowing as her son looked up at her.

"I promise that he's okay right now." She pulled up a blanket from near a wall of the fort and pulled it over them. "How about we sleep in here tonight? Just you and me, and tomorrow we'll go to visit Daddy." He nodded. "I'll be right here when you wake up, don't worry." Amelia stayed awake until she felt her son's breathing settle into a pattern and the familiar light snores coming from his mouth. "Goodnight," she whispered, closing her own eyes and allowing herself to finally relax for the first time that day.

[meet-me-in-the-pouringrain]

Good evening I’m currently crying about the Cullen Family dynamic I have concocted in my head.

- Carlisle and Jasper sitting down together to better educate their old asses on the social conducts / normalities today.

- Esme and Rosalie taking nature walks together and just talking. Mother - Daughter day. Sometimes, if she wants, Alice joins them.

- Emmett fully starting all out battles be it Nerf, snowball or water balloons early in the morning and all of them throw caution to the wind and join in. It usually ends in couple v couple with Edward off to the side in a huff until Bella joins and fuckin obliterates every single one of them.

- Jasper, Emmett and Edward (when he’s not being so annoying) embrace their brotherly relationship. They wrestle, argue, throw things and fight but it’s usually all in good fun. Until Eddie gets pissy then it’s real.

- Carlisle bonds with the kids when they are turned and makes it a point to do it as often as he can after. With Bella, he sits and discusses Literature for hours, with Alice they discuss her visions and he helps her delve into her past, Emmett (don’t tell Esme) he helps him Scheme, Jasper ^^^^, Edward they barely talk now that Bella is in the picture but when they do they could be up there for hours talking about whatever. He tried with Rosalie but she scares him.

- Esme makes it a point to spend time with the kids too. She and Emmett discuss their farm lives and debate over easier methods, Alice tries to style her differently every summer, Bella and her cook, Jasper usually prattles on for hours about horses and whatnot and Esme smiles patiently unwilling to tell him her farm was a vegetable one and not animal. Sometimes he just wants to be near her because she had the Best Vibes , Rose and her bond over their trauma at first but it slowly morphs into idle chatter about nothing. Edward, in my head, clings onto Esme more than anyone thinks because she reminds him of Elizabeth and usually is just around her while Esme is busting herself with design or painting.

- They honour Esme’s Jewish heritage along with Carlisle’s Anglican beliefs every December and have a mix of the two holidays. Rosalie, Bella and Alice spends hours every November making a menorah for Esme from scratch whereas Emmett, Jasper and Edward tackle the Christmas decorations. Emmett is on light duty. Alice spends hundreds of dollars buying matching clothes and pyjamas for all the Cullens.

- Esme and Bella spends hours in the kitchen whipping up Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner for the pack. Esme also makes various meals for Bella to take to Charlie while they still lived in forks.

- Whenever Carlisle decides to scold one of the children for one stupid stunt or other someone is guaranteed to bite back “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”

- Emmett calls Esme “Momma” and Carlisle “Pops”. He’s the only one who refers to them that way. But Renesmee called them Nana and Poppy.

- She has nicknames for everyone. Rose is Rosey, Jasper is Jassy, Alice is Alley Cat (Alice thought of it herself and was so proud she tried to get every one to use it. Nobody does) Emmett is Emmy. Bella is simply Mom and Edward is Dad.

- Edward is fucking nice to Rosalie in my head and they have a tradition every December to personalise baubles for the other. 2008 had Rosalie make “Listen to Rosalie next time” whereas Edward made one that stated “you were right”

- Fun Fact! Vampires can smoke weed and drink alcohol in my head. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper definitely were/ probably still are smokers. Alice claims it helps her ignore visions when she doesn't feel up to it, Jasper says it helps ignore the emotions emitted by everyone. As soon as he heard that, Edward jumped on the bandwagon and immediately regretted it.

- They can also drink. One bottle of alchohol and they’re all bladdered. The venom sobers them up quickly but hell if Emmett doesn’t make it hard.

- Jasper and Emmett started a weed farm and did in fact start dealing at their school. Once Esme caught wind, however, all hell broke loose because. "You're hundreds of years old Jasper, you should know better!" "What about Emmett" "HE'S EMMETT"

- The Cullens are forced once a month by Esme to have a game night. Not monopoly though, she's still mad over the fact they had to move from Boston because Rose threw Jasper out of the window.

- Alice in retaliation makes them all have a movie night once a month. Once they had a vampire marathon. They put on Dracula, Interview with a vampire, Hotel Transylvania for Nessie and finally They binged Buffy the Vampire slayer. After the first five episodes, Carlisle almost spontaneously combusts and Edward convinces himself that somehow Angel was modelled after him. Bella threw the TV out of the window.

- Renesmee once suggested a huge game of hide n seek. Her and Jacob (who did NOT FUXKING IMPRINT THANK YOU) were the seekers. She found Carlisle and Esme after a few minutes, her parents after 10, Rosalie an hour later, Alice they didn’t find for a week, Jasper was about two weeks and they still hadn’t found Emmett after a month. He convinced Seth to go with him so Alice couldn’t cheat and they each phone at least once a day. He just giggles and hangs up.

- Rose eventually snaps and she and Leah (look I feel she’d get along best with Rose idk why) head out to find him. She comes back a day later with a sheepish and petulant Emmett behind her.

- Edward has written piano pieces for every woman in the coven. Esme actually has about 20 because Edward’s indecisive ass couldn’t sit still when it was the three of them but she’s memorised them all and hums a tune or two when she’s painting. Rose has 5 because he found his music calmed her in the early days, Alice has two and Bella + Nessie have just the one. Edward cries daily about it.

- Emmett was the one who instigated Mothers/Fathers day. He asked Rose and EmoFuck one day what they did for them and Edward had a panic attack while Rose zoomed out the house to go get Esme a bunch of flowers. They celebrated it ever since.

- Bella + Alice + Emmett blasting “Am I a Man or am I a Muppet” on repeat both out loud and in their heads just to fuck with Edward.

- When hunting, Esme has a tendency to climb a tree and just sit and wait for her husband to walk past. As soon as he’s in her eyesight she ‘falls’ onto him/next to him. She fake breaks her leg and he reverts into Doctor Cullen. The coven in absolutely mortified by this and the two love it. They embrace their embarrassing parents act willingly.

- The Cullens have a naughty corner. The two most frequent users are the Choas triplets; Alice, Emmett and Bella. Carlisle has been put in the corner multiple by Esme for his own stunts- such as turning Rosalie for Edward- and once Esme was put in the corner by Carlisle. They won’t disclose what she did but the next time they were all together in town, a group of Drag Queens came up to Esme and asked where she got her body glitter from.

- The Cullens learning from their past mistakes with the Werewolves and being godsends to the communities they live in. Esme baking and cooking food and donating the lot of it, Rosalie helping out at preschools and kindergartens and being called “Miss Rosie” by half the kids, Bella tutoring students in English, Alice donating clothes to women’s shelters, Edward giving music lessons, Carlisle donating money to those in need. Emmett being that guy who protects all the women from creeps, Jasper helping the quiet kids out with confidence boosts, Renesmee just being an all round kind person and the one who can make friends anywhere.

- When they leave Forks for the last Time, Carlisle donates a huge check to the Tribe with a letter giving gratitude and apologising for everything. Billy cried and Sue had to take the cheque and spread it amongst the tribe.

- Jacob continued phasing for the next 20 years, he regularly takes trips to wherever the Cullens are living to visit Bella and Ness. Whenever it happens, Alice buys him a whole suitcase full of shorts and jeans, Esme bounces of the walls in excitement, Emmett loses his shit and Bella is insufferable but they don’t seen Rosalie or Edward of a day for however long he stays. He eventually stops phasing when Billy passes.

[farfromtommy]

better than this (dad!chris evans)

summary: a little insight into life as a parent with chris throughout the years 

warnings: talk of preterm labor but nothing graphic or major

word count: 2,250

A/N: okay so like this idea came to me at 2 am and wrote it till about 5 in the morning and im crying at the softness. totally unedited and posted bc im so obsessed with it. i havent written in this kind of format before but i loved loved loved it. i was also thinking while writing this to do this but for steve rogers and i swear i lost my mind. if you guys are interested in something like that id love to write this but for steve <3 

masterlist 

add yourself to my taglist here! 

After meeting through some mutual friends you fell in love with each other. Chris swore he would have married you after your first date. A ring came about a year and a half later, Chris not wanting to call you anything but his wife for any longer. One dream wedding and a month-long honeymoon around the world, you were Mrs. Y/N Evans.

The conversation about kids came fairly early in the relationship. Him coming from a big family, he wanted the same for himself. He wanted a big house in the Massachusetts suburbs, the white picket fence, a couple of dogs, and the kids. He wanted to come home from work being attacked by a couple of kids and seeing you walking towards him barefoot and pregnant.

You were an only child to divorced parents, growing up mostly on your own. You never saw yourself as a mom, but always loved the idea of running after a couple of kids. Never wanting to bring a child into the kind of world you grew up in. The sad and lonely kind of world you endured most of your life. After meeting his family after a couple of months of dating and seeing the way he interacted with his nieces and nephews, you couldn’t help but hope to see yourself raising some kids with him.

He loved the idea of raising a family with you.

Grayson Christopher Evans

You brought your first child into the world not too long after your wedding.

You were in labor for about 16 hours before you were met with the screams of a baby boy.

Your baby boy.

He cried and cried until his skin met yours, calming him down almost instantly. Looking over at Chris who was at an absolute loss for words at the little person calming himself with the sound of your heartbeat. He looked at you for a while before looking back at his baby boy.

Chris couldn’t quite process the feelings he felt that night his son was born. He knew how much he loved you. You knew how much you loved him. But having this little person as a tangible expression of your love and commitment for each other was just beyond him. It was beyond anyone.

Grayson was just like his dad. Almost an exact copy of him if you were being honest. The same big blue eyes. The same soft brown hair. The same everything. Lisa often said how much Grayson was just like Chris was when he was a kid. There was little of you visible in him. Maybe he had the curve of your nose and the shape of your lips. But he was all Chris.

His little personality bubbling since day one. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. He giggled as much as he could and played until he fell asleep with a toy in his hand. You were so lucky to have been gifted this little boy as your first baby. Chris had been struggling to balance work and his responsibility to you and Grayson but never failed to make sure you knew how loved you both were, even from thousands of miles apart.

Eleanor Olivia Evans

After another long labor, you welcomed a little girl into your new family of 4. A tiny little girl who, just like your boy once did, calmed themselves down at the sound of your heart and the warmth from your body. Chris once again sat there just absolutely beside himself at the sight of the love of his life with his little girl on your chest.

Introducing Eleanor, or Ellie, to Grayson was probably one of the greatest moments of your life. Chris walked in with Grayson in his arms telling him that we needed to use our indoor voices when talking to mommy and the baby. Grayson quickly climbed to sit right next to you, not bearing even 1 day away from you. You hugged your little boy and talked to him about meeting his sister. Grayson ran his little hands running along Eleanor’s cheeks as you sat there crying at the moment they were having with each other.

Now with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old life couldn’t have been sweeter. You had hardly been working while pregnant with Ellie, still having to keep up with a rambunctious toddler. Before kids, you were doing some writing for all sorts of movies and TV shows. After kids, you took fewer jobs that require travel and stayed mostly local.

Chris not wanting to leave you at home with a toddler and a newborn had made sure his work kept him close or allowed you and the kids to go with him. You both wanted to make sure you were there when Grayson and Ellie needed you.

If Grayson was a mama’s boy, Ellie was 1000% a daddy’s girl. She refused to let Chris out of her sight if she could help it. She refused to sleep most nights without hearing the sound of her dad’s voice and would cry and cry if he didn’t sing her to sleep. When Chris was pulled away for a week for work you were losing your mind trying to get her to sleep.

After a mild breakdown, you gave in and called Chris knowing even hearing his voice over the phone would calm the baby down. He sat there on the phone and just talked to her. She fell asleep almost immediately and slept through most of the night. You thanked Chris and ended up asking him for voice recordings of him talking and singing so you could play them in case he was pulled away again.

Charlotte Rose Evans

Charlotte, or Charlie as she's been nicknamed by her siblings, came into the world with a crew waiting so patiently for her arrival. By far the most painful and complicated birth you have had, she had quite dramatically made her entrance into the Evans family.

You had been monitored closely the last couple of months of your pregnancy as Miss Charlie tried to make an appearance early. You had some complications about halfway through and your midwife had been worried about possible preterm labor. You had started to have what you knew were contractions at 30 weeks and were immediately rushed into the hospital to try and halt the contractions and luckily succeeding.

You were placed on strict bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy, not even allowed to stand at the stove making dinner, only getting up to use the bathroom and move from the bed to the couch.

It didn’t make your life with an overactive 4 and 2-year-old easy at all. Chris stayed home 24/7 to take care of you and his mom and sisters rotating taking the time to stay with you to help with the kids.

When Charlie did make her debut both of you were as healthy as you could be. Once again, bringing Chris to tears as another baby made their way into your family. He didn’t know he was capable of loving this much. He thought he had reached capacity after Ellie but the love he had for you and his kids just kept growing as you kept adding on.

If Grayson was all Chris, Charlie was all you. Except for her blue eye, which you figured would be a pattern with your kids. She was a copy of you and Chris ate it up. Eleanor is a perfect combination of the two of you. You could see the traits of you as well as the traits of Chris throughout her. But Charlie was completely you.

Grayson fit right into his role as big brother and protector of the Evans girls. He made sure every night he said goodnight to his sisters and told them he loved them with a kiss on their foreheads.

Ellie was excited that she no longer had to share her dolls with Grayson and would finally have a girl to play with. Charlie looked up to her big sister, seeing her as the most amazing person she has ever met.

Grayson, however, felt like he needed another sibling, specifically a boy sibling, and constantly asked you for a brother. He said to you over and over again that his friends at school had brothers and he needed one so very bad. You and Chris had agreed to stop at 3 but had given into the idea of having 1 more to try and even out the numbers. With Grayson in 2nd grade, Ellie in kindergarten, and Charlie starting Pre-K soon, having another wouldn’t be impossible.

Declan Robert Evans

The 2nd boy and the 4th and final child Chris and Y/N had brought into their world. Another perfect mix of Chris and Y/N.

His birth being the last time you would be in the hospital having a baby made it just that more emotional. You soaked in the first moments of his life just a little bit more. Chris cried just a couple more tears, seeing that angel on your chest for the first time. You admired the father of your children just a little more seeing him introduce the addition to the family to your other kids. Adoring the look on Grayson’s face when you set Declan on his lap, finally meeting the little brother he’d been wanting. Asking you if he could take him to class to show off to all his friends.

Walking around your house Declan’s first day home was more emotional than you had thought it would be. You brought every single one of your babies right through your front door. You had pictures littered around the house of moments in your life you were lucky to have immortalized forever. Knowing you had started your family here made you love everything just that much more.

Declan now 5 years old, Charlotte 8 years old, Eleanor 10 years old and Grayson at 12 years old you couldn’t imagine life any differently. You and Chris celebrated 13 years of marriage and almost 15 years together surrounded by the physical representations of the love you two shared for each other was unexplainable.

You had slowly started to get back into the work you loved doing so much after Declan started school. You were able to work on projects offered to you with Chris and had become an unstoppable duo professionally and personally.

Even having the amazing opportunities to do something you loved to do, nothing would ever beat sitting around a table listening to your kids talk about everything and anything that came to mind. Listening to them talk about what happened at school or about upcoming events they want to participate in was the highlight of your day.

Grayson had been playing with a football the moment he could pick one up. Chris nearly cried when Grayson had approached you guys about doing little league football at the rec center. Chris had been watching Patriot's games with Grayson since the day he was born. Taking him to games with Scott whenever they had the chance. The love for football ran in his blood and when he found out he could play on a team he took the chance as soon as it presented himself.

Eleanor had found a love for music and performing, just like her dad. She had picked up music and singing at a very young age, which probably came from her dad's love of performing. You encouraged her to pursue her love for music by telling her stories of when her daddy was young and used to stand on stage before he started doing big movies. She loved looking at pictures and watching old videos of Chris performing in high school whenever she'd visit Grandma Lisa.

Charlotte had picked up your love of reading and writing as soon as she could. Her favorite day of the week is when her class gets to spend time at the library finding new things to read and learn about. So far a running theme with her is books about nature and animals. She loves sitting down with you in the afternoon and telling you about what she learned in the science portion of her day. She had learned about how plants and animals interact and how important they are for all humans. She told you that when she's big she wants to make sure no one ever hurts plants and animals since they are so important for us.

Declan hadn't quite developed a love for something like his siblings had. All he cares about right now is the kind of snacks his mom packs for him and superheroes. You and Chris had introduced him to the world of superheroes recently, knowing that being in school someone was bound to mention to him about seeing his dad on a movie they watched. He was obsessed with the fact that his dad was a superhero once upon a time. He loved watching Chris' movies and would always ask to watch them whenever Chris wasn't home.

You looked at Chris from across the table as Grayson talked to him about football tryouts and asking him if they could practice after dinner. He felt your eyes on him and looked at you with a smirk and a wink thrown at you before giving Grayson his attention again.

You sat back a little to look around at this family surrounding you, knowing there was nothing better than this.

[estellaelysian]

Off the table

This really was something to write. It falls under angst, but I don’t know if i should even call it that or is it more horrible. I don’t really know. I feel miserable after writing this, but it just occupied my mind and I couldn’t get it out.

Please don’t read it if angst triggers you.

Song to listen to: Off the table - Ariana Grande, Better off - Ariana Grande

The sky was an odious grey, deep and mournful, and angry clouds, pregnant with rain held back their load, expectant, waiting. Alishka breathed in deeply as she filled a small leather holdall with the things she thought would be necessary for her two day trip, which she was going to face with a rock hard mind. But it wasn’t entirely possible, or that easy even. She had been with a conflict with herself about this trip from the beginning, but she had to go. She couldn’t not go and despise herself forever for not paying a final respect to that old woman who deserved it; all of it, and who had almost loved her like a mother would love her child.

Kathleen John was a senior nurse at the Edenbrook Hospital – a seventy-two year old with an infectious smile and a motherly heart. In the one year Alishka had known her, she had been one of the biggest supports Alishka had had in the hospital, to lean on in times of despair and hardship. Kathleen would get along with almost everyone, because she was quick to laugh, witty and because she could talk about almost anything. They had kept in touch even after she left everything behind. Kathleen would be closest anyone could ever get to her mother in Boston. Kathleen would be missed greatly.

Alishka knew Kathleen would’ve wanted her to go. She was who Alishka was going for.

Alishka’s hair now wrestled free from the poor braid she had attempted to lock them in, cascading down her shoulders in a glossy waterfall. She tossed a thick length behind her shoulders and continued packing before realizing that it was pointless. She turned to the mirror, staring at her green-eyed reflection in a moment of crazy resolution to never look at her the same way again, which crumbled to the floor the next moment. How could she not? It was like she was cursed, like the universe was waiting to watch her fall and leave.

No. she wouldn’t let those feelings in again. She had, once, and it was devastating enough.

Her arms strained from having to braid her hair over and over again, which, no matter how many times she tried, loosened from her grip.

‘Alishka, are you done?’ her mother asked, her voice ringing out in the suburban house.

‘Almost,’ Alishka lied. ‘I am trying to braid my hair.’

She was so engrossed in trying to get it right this time that she didn’t even notice her mother walk into the room. Her fingers worked quickly as she unraveled Alishka’s hair and braided them once again. ‘It’s okay to ask for help sometimes, sweetie. But I know you are too stubborn for your own good so…’

She turned around to find a wistful smile on her mother’s face.

‘Come downstairs,’ she said, patting Alishka’s shoulder affectionately. ‘Dinner is ready.’

‘I’ll be two minutes. I just need to finish up some stuff here.’

‘Very well, I’ll be downstairs then.’

She nodded and turned back to the half-packed holdall, staring at it for a blank moment which seemed to stretch to an eternity, before picking up a few clothes from the bed and stuffing them in.

‘Mommy, I wanna go too,’ said a mellifluous voice, cutting through her confusion. Alicia made a face from the doorway as Alishka looked up from where she was packing on the other side of the room, as if already knowing she was going to say no.

‘Honey, it is a funeral. What are you going to do there?’

‘I want to pay my respect,’ she said, looking down at her hands.

‘You didn’t know her, sweetie.’

‘But you did. And you’ve told me sooo many stories about her, I feel like I know her too. Please, Mommy, let me come too. Please?’

Alishka already knew she was going to regret this very much. And yet…

‘Okay, I’ll allow you to come if you be nice and help your Nana with setting up the table today.’

‘Okay, Mommy, I’ll go help her.’

‘Go on then. She is waiting downstairs.’

She disappeared from the room, and Alishka was left alone with her wretched thoughts.

What was she going to do?

***

They had dinner at the back patio, and afterward, Alishka washed the dishes and her mother dried them.

‘I am taking Alicia with me,’ Alishka said, trying to bring a note of confidence in her voice, but mustering none.

Her mom looked up at her with a skeptical face, setting aside the dish in her hand. ‘Are you sure you are up to that Alishka?’

Even after making so many attempts at hiding every feeling she was going through, it felt as if her mom saw right through her. As if she knew just what Alishka was thinking about.

‘Yeah, Ma,’ she looked away, avoiding her mother’s heavy gaze, a horrible feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. Her mind dived back into the memories, mostly back at that day when she was sitting at the back patio, crying, shaken to the core by what had happened. The day when she had let everything out in an unstoppable rush of words and tears, and the day when her mom had comforted her, put her to sleep, just like she would when Alishka was a kid.

A soft hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present, to the relentless noise of rushing water and clanking of vessels.

‘Honey, do you really think it’s too late?’

***

Alicia pressed a kiss on Fredo’s forehead. ‘Fredo, don’t trouble Nana much, don’t ruin any couch cushions, don’t chew out any pens and … read your medical journals!’

The golden doodle looked up at her with big brown eyes, and Alishka chuckled at the sight before her. ‘Okay, come on, bub its time to go. Say goodnight to your Nana.’

‘Goodnight Nana. Buh-bye. I’ll be back soon, I promise.’

Alishka’s mom laughed. ‘Okay sweetie. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Alicia ran to the Jeep and slid in, strapped the seat-belt and waited patiently as Alishka spoke to her mom.

‘Alishka, call me when you get there, okay? And tell me if anything–’

‘I will Ma, don’t worry,’ she said leaning in for a quick hug. ‘Take care.’

‘I will. Be careful. I love you.’

‘Love you too.’

***

A cold December wind was blowing and Alishka crossed her arms as she stared out over the water. She found herself alone at the bay; it was 5:07A.M., and Alicia was sleeping in the car, and though she had spent almost twenty-one hours driving here with only two breaks, she scarcely remembered the trip. Her appetite was gone, her stomach in knots, and yet, she had stopped for food once because of Alicia, and besides, she would need it to make the drive, and at 4A.M., she fetched a coffee for herself.

She wondered if she was doing the right thing, bringing Alicia with her. Her heart fluttered at the thought of him, but the feeling was almost immediately replaced by that of disgust and pain.

She would never be ready for him.

The bay glittered under her thoughtful gaze. She could head to the hotel now, but she wanted a minute to herself before everything went crashing down. She knew it would. There was no way out of this mess for her. Not then, not now, even when she thought she had saved herself, rescued herself, protected herself from getting hurt anymore. But no. She was cursed, and so was her love.

Sighing heavily, she thought about the funeral. There was no way he wouldn’t be there. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought Alicia with her, but now it was too late to think about that. She had planned to stay overnight at first, but no. Looking at the bay and the dull Boston skyline, she knew she didn’t want to stay. She would leave immediately after the services were over.

***

The day brought with it the lingering gloom from last night, grey and colorless, as if it knew, much more than anyone, that it was a day of mourning. She absentmindedly touched the lace neck of her black dress before pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. Could people see it in her eyes? Could they tell? Or had she been successful in hiding seven years worth of pain?

She didn’t know.

‘Mommy, I want to bring this to the funeral,’ Alicia said, padding over, holding a small white oblong.

‘What is it, honey?’

‘It’s the note Kathleen Nana gave you, when you were an intern. I brought it with me. Is it okay if I bring it to the funeral and put it on…’

Alicia looked away sadly, and Alishka made a small smile at her daughter’s thoughtfulness. Sometimes it reminded her of him, but she had grown used to ignoring those feelings, for better or for worse. He had wanted to have nothing to do with her anyway, didn’t he?

‘Okay, sweetheart, you can. I don’t mind. But …’

‘I know,’ she mumbled, looking up at her. ‘I have to be nice and not talk to strangers, even if you have told me stories about them, and I have to be quiet, not talk too much.’

Another half smile. ‘Good, sweetie. I love you.’

‘I love you too Mommy.’

‘Can I have a hug, Alicia?’

She walked over as Alishka kneeled and wrapped her small arms around her. Alishka knew there would come a day when she would consider herself to old for such displays, which is why she squeezed tighter, letting the hug linger more than usual.

***

Ethan made imperceptible adjustments to his tie as he stood before the mirror, nervous and unsettled, staring at his empty blue eyes, lacking any emotion, now that he noticed it. Was it always this way? Was he always this cold? If not, then when did it change?

He didn’t know. As far as he was concerned, he had nothing left anymore. Nothing. He couldn’t save Dolores, he couldn’t save Kathleen, he couldn’t do anything right.

He couldn’t stop her…

Nor could he stop himself.

He wished he had died instead. Atleast he would be released from this pain he felt, from the memories which haunted him every night. Atleast he would get a pass, and a chance to fix everything in the next one.

If only he was given a chance that good.

But maybe he would ruin that too, just like he had ruined everything else.

He looked up at his own eyes again, his mind flitting back, almost unstoppably, to the last time he ever saw her, at Donahue’s, before leaving for Amazon. That was it. The final blow to her feelings, and his unbreakable wit and ego, which, finally had found a way to be shattered into a million pieces, which could not be restored. Not anymore.

Sighing, he reached stepped outside the en-suite, feeling numb and empty. A half hearted glance at his bed had him thinking that it was too big for his liking, and he wondered why he never noticed it before. He hated sleeping in it after returning from Amazon.

May be losing her meant losing himself too. No, it didn’t mean so. It was so. He had lost her the day he decided to leave for Amazon.

He hadn’t seen her after that. She had broken every string that tied her to him and disappeared into thin mist, nowhere to be found, no one knowing about it. Her friends were as clueless about where she had gone as he was. He dreaded the fact that he had not known enough about her. For all the time they had been together, in all the things they had talked, she had never mentioned much about her family. He knew she was from California, and he had tried looking too, only to fail miserably. She was not there. She was nowhere. She was gone, and she would never come back.

It was unbearable. The whole thing. He tried calling her, thinking about what he would say if she answered, but the number had been deactivated. The last few days they had spent together blurred into a mess, as if the pleasure of remembering had been taken away from him, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It was like losing every memory he had made with her, now that he had lost her.

So he went back to being the person he was before she came along – a terrifying attending with no feelings, whatsoever, of his own. And quite soon, he realized that wasn’t true. He had feelings. She brought them out in him. She brought out his better side.

Without her, he lacked a better side.

He stuffed his wallet and keys in his pockets and left the house, the door banging the frame with a loud bang.

With no perception of what was about to be, he headed outside, into a storm he had created for himself years ago.

***

The funeral service was small and attracted a dozen mourners, which stood huddled under giant black umbrellas with blank, expressionless faces as they stared at the ground in silence. The rain did not last for long, but how did it matter anyway? Kathleen’s children stood next to the coffin, hugging everybody as they passed by. For a while, he just watched people as they walked up to the coffin, all these people he had never seen before kneeling down next to her, look at her for a while, maybe crying. He had only really known Kathleen and her children, and those were who he came for. He knew she would’ve wanted him to come.

A little girl made her way over, putting a small white note on the coffin and whispered something before walking back and disappearing into the black-clad crowd. He did not know why, but he choked up at the sight. It was incredible, given how emotionally resigned he was at that time, and yet, when he tried to find that girl, looking back, he did not find her.

The next few moments were mostly a jumble to him; he did not remember much of what the priest spoke as he stood behind the coffin; he did not remember the minister calling up people and them making their eulogies. He did not remember much of when exactly the funeral service ended, or when people started to disperse. Everything happening there seemed to stark and yet blurred together, somehow, but that was until he rose from his seat and decided to leave too, and that’s when he saw her.

Standing near the rear pew, was a beautiful girl, with long dark brown hair and green eyes, the woman he fell for seven years ago, and the one he decided to hurt in the worst way possible.

But how?

She must’ve been in touch with Kathleen, he thought. His first instinct was to walk away, just like he had, years ago, but something about that sight made his throat choke up. It was the little girl from earlier, her hand clasped tightly in Alishka’s.

Maybe she had married and settled down after all, with someone loving her like the way she deserved to be loved.

But then the girl caught his eye.

And he felt like a huge blow had been delivered to his face, just as he recognized every single of her features mirroring his own.

No, this was a delusion. This was not the truth.

No no no no no…

It couldn’t be.

And then she recognized him, as if she’d already known about him all her life. He watched as she tugged at Alishka’s hand, as Alishka bent down, as she listened to what the little girl whispered before pointing toward him, and finally, Alishka looking up at him, pain clear in her eyes like a plastic sleeve.

He started walking toward them, he did not know why. He saw Alishka take a hesitant step back before steeling herself, and another blow was delivered to his guts when he saw tears streaking her face.

He did not know, and he would never know, what exactly brought him to his knees at the sight of the girl – the striking resemblance of his own features he saw in her own or the need he felt to get on eye-level with her, or the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach which made him feel too weak to stand.

**********

A/N: Let’s assume there was an elderly nurse in Edenbrook in the intern ear of Alishka

A/N 2: This happens in some sort of an AU where Alishka left Boston when Ethan went to Amazon.

A/N 3: I decided to stop here. I was planning to put this out as a three-part mini series, but couldn’t resist myself. Besides, it’s nothing if not the whole thing. Should I write more? I don’t know. Let me know.

Tagging: @tenaciouslandvoidgiant​ @choicesaddict5​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Fresh Start - Ch. 1

Pairing: Ethan x MC

Catch Up Here

A/N: These past two weeks have been absolutely draining, both mentally and emotionally, but I think my motivation to write is finally coming back, so yay! Let me know if you want to be tagged on untagged. Or if they’re not working for some annoying reason

Tags:  @fanmantrashcan @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @writinghereandthere @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramsey @the-soot-sprite @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @theeccentricbibliophile @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @mal-volaris @whatchique @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartwriting @mvalentine @nooruleman @queencarb @lucy-268 @caroldxnvxrs @doilooklikeiknow @agent-breakdance @rookieoh @mrsdrakewalkerblog

~v~

“Is that the last of your boxes?”

“That’s all of them. The rest are in a storage unit.”

Naomi looks around the spacious guest room in Naveen’s house. There’s a gorgeous view of the lake right outside her window. “Thank you again for letting me stay here. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I find a place.”

She really did it. She packed up her belongings and accepted the job at Edenbrook, leaving behind the only life she’s ever known. It was exhilarating, and terrifying, and nerve-wrecking, and exciting all at the same time. But being in Boston, helping with that patient in Edenbrook stirred something within her, a fire she hasn’t felt in months. She knew if she didn’t at least give Edenbrook a chance, the regret would eat her alive.

Naveen smiles and dismisses her claims with a flick of the wrist. “You can stay as long as you need to, dear. I’ve been in this house by myself for so long, I think I’ll enjoy your company.”

“At the very least, I’ll steal one of my mom’s recipes and cook dinner for you some time this week.”

“Her famous spaghetti and meatballs?”

“That can definitely be arranged.”

“Oh good. I’m a shoddy cook, so it’s nice to have something that’s actually good every once in a while.” Naveen sighs heavily. “You’ve had a long day today, and your first day of work is tomorrow. I’ll let you get some rest before the big day.”

“Can I get a hint as to what I should expect?” Naomi asks. Butterflies bloom in her stomach at the question. In a few short hours, she’ll be embarking on an entirely new journey.

“Mostly onboarding mumbo jumbo with HR. Getting your keys, giving you clearance to certain parts of the hospital, meeting as many doctors as possible, and then meeting up with Ethan and the rest of the diagnostics team.” He doesn’t miss the way she rolls her eyes at the mention of Ethan’s name. “You two seemed very tense when you met him a few weeks ago, and he wasn’t all that thrilled about you joining the diagnostics team. What happened?”

“A patient collapsed in the waiting room and we both rushed over to help. When that was all done, Dr. Ramsey scolded me and said my technique was amateur and I could’ve killed the patient. Naturally, I didn’t respond too well.”

Naveen has known Naomi since she was born, and she can have a fiery temper if the situation calls for it. He raises an eyebrow at her in amusement. “What did you say?”

“Honestly, I didn’t even say anything that was too bad,” she replies with a shrug. “Basically, I said he was on a power trip and I didn’t need him overseeing and judging my work if he wasn’t going to help. You came back before we could really kick things up.”

“Well thank God for my good timing.”

“He was a jerk,” Naomi continues. “How is he your protege? How are you friends with him? You’re so sweet and he’s so...not.”

“Ethan can be a handful,” Naveen concedes. “He’s just guarded, and he takes his work very seriously. He takes everything too seriously. But once you get to know him, you’ll see that he’s incredibly loyal, intelligent, and he strives to put his patients above everything else. I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

Naomi scoffs. Naveen has more unbridled optimism than she knows what to do with. “Yeah, okay.”

“You’ll balance each other out. You’re strong-willed, you’ll challenge him. Ethan needs that, he’s gotten comfortable being the boss. And no one else in the team will do it.”

“Who else is on the team?” Naomi asks. Her curiosity has gotten the better of her now.

“There’s Dr. June Hirata. She’s a brilliant doctor, perceptive as heck, but she lacks your...assertiveness. June would never challenge Ethan head on even if she’s quietly seething on the inside regarding a decision he’s made. And there’s Dr. Baz Mirani, who is basically a teddy bear in human form. He goes with the flow for the most part, and he hates conflict.”

“So you’re putting me on the team to be his babysitter?”

“No. I’m putting you on the team because you’re a damn good doctor. The fact that you can go toe to toe with Ethan is just an added bonus.”

“You never told me, how exactly did Ethan react to you putting me on his precious team. And you just said he wasn’t thrilled”

“It was my team first,” Naveen clarifies. “But he took the news...less than okay.”

“Naveen, we really need to talk,” Ethan says, chasing his boss through the Edenbrook corridor.

“Why don’t we talk later?”

“How about we talk now.”

Naveen slows down and allows Ethan to catch up. He already knows what this conversation is going to be about. “Ethan, if this is about Naomi–”

“You handed over the reins to the diagnostics team. You don’t have the right to hire new members without consulting me first.”

“I may not be the director of the team anymore, but I’m still the Chief, which makes me your boss. The boss of this entire hospital actually. And being the boss means I can do whatever I want.”

The two men make it to Naveen’s office and Ethan sits down dramatically. “I don’t know anything about this woman, what type of doctor she is, how she’s going to fit in with the rest of the team.”

“Dr. Valentine’s father and I go way back. She graduated top of her class at Johns Hopkins, your alma mater, she’s 28 years old and a first year attending in internal medicine, she skipped a grade in elementary school, and she’s obviously gotten under your skin.”

“She hasn’t–” the argument stops in his throat as he realizes it’s a blatant lie. This Dr. Valentine woman is argumentative and stubborn, and clearly has no respect for authority. And she had the audacity to question him.

Naveen raises an eyebrow at Ethan, daring him to continue.

Ethan’s jaw tightens as he stares at his former mentor. “Look, you don’t get to play favorites on my team just because you and her dad are friends.”

“You didn’t seem to mind favoritism when you were the one benefitting from it for the past decade,” Naveen shoots back and Ethan’s cheeks and neck turn scarlet red. “Besides, I put her on the team because she’s good. And you’re going to have to get used to it, because unless she totally screws up, she’s here to stay. Any other questions?”

He’s fighting a losing battle, Ethan soon realizes. Naveen is hellbent on putting this woman on the team, no ifs, ands, or buts about it,

Ethan crosses his arms across his chest. “I’m not going to go easy on her on your behalf. She’s going to have to put in the same amount of effort as me and the rest of the team.”

Naveen chortles. “Trust me, I don’t expect you to dole out any favors. But give the young lady a fair shake. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Regardless of how Ethan feels, he’s going to have to buck up,” Naveen says with a shrug. “You’re here, and you’re here to stay.”

“You have a lot of faith in me, Naveen. And we’ve never even worked together.”

“No, but I know you. I know you’re a force to be reckoned with and I know it’ll work out beautifully for the team. And Edenbrook as a whole.”

Naomi smiles at him, her skin growing warm at the praise. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Now get some rest, you have a very busy day ahead of you.”

“Goodnight, boss.”

~v~

“Okay, where the heck is the directory?” Naomi mumbles, mostly to herself as she walks down the large Edenbrook halls. “Where the heck am I?”

She’s only been at the hospital for 3 hours and she’s already lost. Fantastic. After spending most of her morning in the legal and HR department, signing paperwork, taking her ID picture, and going through a few videos, Naomi was sent off on her own to find the office for the diagnostics team. The problem with that is she has no idea where she’s going.

This is so embarrassing, she thinks. How do you get lost on your first day of work?

“Excuse me? Are you lost?”

The soft voice instantly grabs Naomi’s attention. She spins on her heel and sees a petite woman about her age, staring at her.

Naomi nods. “I’m very lost. I think I’ve been wandering for the past 5 minutes.”

The other woman laughs softly. “Everyone gets lost their first few days here.”

“Is it that obvious I’m new?”

“Yes, you stick out like a sore thumb. But don’t worry, I’ll point you in the right direction. Where are you headed?”

“Dr. Ramsey’s office,” Naomi answers.

“Alright, that’s 3 floors up. Come on.” The woman starts walking and Naomi follows closely beside her. “I’m Sienna Trihn, attending with family medicine.”

“Naomi Valentine, internal medicine.” Naomi smiles. “Nice to meet you.”

“So you’re the one who got the coveted spot on Dr. Ramsey’s diagnostics team, huh?”

“You know about me already?”

“The hospital may look big, but I assure you it’s not,” Sienna says. They step onto the elevator and she punches the number 7. “News travels fast around here.”

“Yes, I’m going to be on his team. And I have no idea what I’m walking into.”

“He’s a hard-ass for sure,” Sienna says. “I can’t tell you the amount of interns he’s made cry or quit because they can’t handle him or his brand of teaching.”

“Well, I’m not an intern nor do I scare easily.”

Sienna smiles. “I like you already, Naomi.”

“I like you too.”

The elevator dings and the doors pull apart. Sienna leads Naomi straight to the diagnostics team’s office, stopping right at the door. “Well this is your stop.”

“Thank you so much, Sienna. I’d still be floundering around downstairs if not for you.”

“It’s no problem. And good luck in there!”

“Thanks.”

Naomi opens the door and steps into the office. Everything is so sleek and modern from the deeply frosted glass, the huge touch screen taking up most of the far right wall, next to a whiteboard. There’s a circular table in the corner, a large desk and bookshelf towards the back, with a couch perpendicular to it.

Wow. Naveen wasn’t kidding when he said the hospital invests a lot of money into this team. This office alone is spectacular.

Her entrance garners the attention of the others in the room and suddenly, 3 pairs of eyes are on her. “Hi.”

“Dr. Valentine,” Ethan greets from his spot behind the desk. “Thank you for joining us.”

“Of course.”

“Guys, meet the newest member of the team, Dr. Naomi Valentine. Dr. Valentine, this is Dr. June Hirata and Dr. Baz Mirani.”

The other woman – June as Ethan just introduced – calmly observes Naomi, scanning her head to toe. Naomi resists the urge to look away, not used to being appraised like an item up for auction, but June then smiles slightly and extends a hand for her to shake. “It’s lovely to meet you, Naomi.”

“Thank you.” Naomi grabs her hand, giving it a firm shake. “You as well.” She turns to Baz, and has to do a double take. “I’m sorry, didn’t we meet earlier today?”

Baz chuckles to himself. “I’m a twin. You met my brother, Zaid.” Skipping a handshake, Baz pulls her in for a warm hug, which she reciprocates after a few stunned moments.

“That makes sense. You’re much friendlier than he is.”

“He’s secretly a huge softie,” Baz insists. “Don’t let the gruff exterior fool you.”

“Now that introductions have been made, let’s get down to business,” Ethan says. “Dr. Valentine, since it is your first day how about you just sit back and observe how things are done?”

First, he wanted to throw her into the deep end to test her mettle, and now he wants her to play wallflower? Naomi doesn’t really understand what his angle is.

June and Baz sit down and Naomi follows them. Within seconds, the large board on the wall is illuminated with a picture of a smiling pre-teen. “This is Taylor Hopkins, a 12 year old girl from Boston. For the past month, she’s been to the Mass Kenmore ER 4 times for unexplained seizures.”

“No history of epilepsy?” June asks.

Ethan shakes his head. “No. The doctors there also suspected a minor stroke because she had bouts of slurred speech and body numbness, or vertigo because she gets dizzy, but multiple neurologists say that isn’t the case.”

“Any injuries recently?”

“None. Not even so much as a simple scratch or paper cut.”

Ethan writes Taylor’s symptoms down on the board, while June and Baz ask questions and toss around ideas. Naomi doesn’t say anything, she just quietly listens and observes.

After a few minutes of not saying anything, Naomi clears her throat, garnering Ethan’s attention. “Can I see her patient file?”

“Sure.”

The file is in June’s hands, but she slides it over. Naomi flips through it, looking at the young girl’s medical history, scans, and lab results.

“She wears glasses?”

“Yes. Both of her parents are near-sighted and wear glasses, and within the past year, Taylor’s vision has begun to deteriorate. She’s been declared as legally blind by her optometrist.”

“Interesting.”

Ethan can practically see the wheels turning in her head, like she’s slowly putting together a puzzle. “Any theories, Dr. Valentine?”

“My gut wants to say multiple sclerosis,” Naomi replies.

“In a 12 year old?” Baz asks.

“I know it sounds crazy because it’s pretty rare in children, but the symptoms line up. And maybe her eye problems aren’t caused by near-sightednes. It wouldn’t hurt to run more tests because it might be inflammation in the optic nerve.”

The room goes silent as they all ponder Naomi’s potential diagnosis. She bites the inside of her cheek, waiting on bated breath for someone, anyone to speak up.

“Look, I just wanted to feel included and throw something out there–”

Ethan cuts her off with a raised hand. “The only rule I have for this team is to speak up if you have an idea because there are no wrong answers. You gave us an idea, own it.”

“Noted, Doctor.”

“I want you to order an OCT scan and an MRI, and also test her spinal fluid. And then I want you to meet with the patient and familiarize yourself with her and her parents, because this case is now yours. Congratulations.”

~v~

Naomi spends the rest of the afternoon running on autopilot. Naveen made it seem like this was going to be a cake walk, an orientation of sorts. When she woke up earlier, she wasn’t expecting to be working a case for the diagnostics team on her first day of work, and potentially solving it.

She wanders into the cafeteria and sits down at the first empty table she finds. This is the first quiet moment she’s had all day, and it’s not even a real break, she’s just waiting for Taylor’s test results to come back.

“You look like Hell.”

Naomi looks up and sees Sienna standing behind her, along with a few others. She nods. “I feel like Hell.”

“Naomi, meet a few of my best friends, Aurora, Bryce, and Jackie. Guys, meet Naomi.”

Naomi offers them all a smile and polite wave. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Can we sit with you?”

“Sure.” Naomi moves down a bit, so Sienna can sit next to her, while Jackie, Bryce, and Aurora move to the other side of the table.

“So how’s your first day at Edenbrook?” Sienna asks.

“How is it working with Dr. Ramsey?”

“Overwhelming, to both questions,” Naomi answers. “But it’s fine, I thrive in chaos and pressure.”

“Any interesting cases?”

“Do you guys think pediatric MS is interesting?”

“Absolutely!” The one Sienna called Jackie exclaims. “Less than 5% of MS patients get a diagnosis as children.”

“Poor thing just got done with a battery of tests, and she’s finally resting. Hopefully the results come back with something concrete, and I can give the family some answers.”

“Is it severe?” Sienna asks, her eyes softening.

Naomi shrugs. “She seems to be managing things fine for now. Her seizures are under control, and we’ve given her corticosteroids for the swelling behind her eyes. She’s much tougher than I was at 12 years old, I can tell you that much.”

Bryce leans in closer to Naomi, and he flashes her a good-natured smile, showing off his perfectly white teeth. “So Naomi, are you new just to Edenbrook, or new to Boston in general?”

“New to Boston. I’m a DC girl, born and raised.”

“Interesting. So in theory, you could be the president’s doctor. What made you want to move?”

Would it be too much to tell these near strangers that there’s nothing left for her in DC other than a cheating ex husband? Absolutely.

So she smiles coyly. “Oh, I can’t reveal all of my secrets, at least not sober. I need to keep some mystery about me, you know?”

“All I’m hearing is that I need to take you out for drinks. Is after work a good time for you?”

Naomi chuckles and checks the name etched into his white coat. “You’re smooth, Dr. Lahela.”

“Ooh, I like the way you say my name.”

“Bryce, she’s been my friend for less than 12 hours,” Sienna scolds with an eye roll. “Do not scare her off with your flirting.”

“It’s fine,” Naomi assures her. “He’s pretty harmless.”

“Harmless?” Bryce grabs his chest and feigns pain. “That’s like, an instant friend zone.”

“Trust me, I’m not a tree you’d want to bark up.”

“I think I’ll be the judge of that.” Naomi laughs and rolls her eyes at him.

They sit around talking for a few more minutes, familiarizing themselves with each other, and grilling Naomi as she’s the new girl. Naomi’s only known this group of people for 15 minutes, but she can tell they’re an insanely tight knit group of friends who all love each other. Now she’s curious about the rest of their friends.

Her pager goes off, interrupting the conversation. She checks it with a sigh. “Lab results are in. I gotta go, but I’ll see you guys around.”

“Wait!” Bryce catches her wrist, holding onto it lightly. “Flirting aside, you really should get drinks with us tonight. We’re regulars at Donahue’s, right across the street.”

Naomi ponders it for a second before nodding. “Sure. I’ll see you guys when I’m off.”

She rushes to the lab to get her patient’s results, and then pages Ethan. He meets her in the lab with June, who’s thankfully a neurologist.

“So, Dr. Valentine, what’s the diagnosis?” Ethan asks, as Naomi hands him Taylor’s test results.

Naomi clears her throat and stands up a bit straighter. She’s normally a confident woman, but Ethan Ramsey intimidates her, even though she hates to admit it. She doesn’t want to show any weakness. “My gut instinct was correct, we have a case of pediatric multiple sclerosis.”

“Okay. What’s the next step.”

“There’s no cure for MS, we can only manage the symptoms. She’s taking medication for the seizures, but we can also get her started on physical therapy for the muscle weakness and to maintain her strength.”

Ethan nods. “Okay. Go ahead and deliver the news to Taylor and her parents.” He hands all of the paperwork back to Naomi and turns on his heel, walking away. He makes it a few steps away before turning around again. “Oh, and good work.”

~v~

She’s at the hospital for 5 more hours, but the rest of Naomi’s shift flies by with relative ease. With her first and only patient taken care of, she spends the rest of her time meeting various nurses and doctors, and trying not to get lost.

And now she’s at Donahue’s, sandwiched between Bryce and another one of their friends, Kyra, throwing back shots of vodka.

“Let’s propose a toast!” Sienna exclaims, raising her small glass in the air. “To the newest member of our gang, Naomi!”

“Cheers!”

Naomi stands dramatically, curtsying at the attention. “To Sienna, for taking me under her wing with absolutely no hesitation. And to me, surviving my first day of Edenbrook and the diagnostics team!”

With excited cheers, they all clink glasses and down their drinks. The alcohol burns her throat but Naomi doesn’t care. It’s been a long day, and she’d drink just about anything at this point.

She makes a quick note of the empty glasses at their table. “Next round is on me. Are we sticking with vodka?”

“Tequila, this time.”

“Deal.”

Bryce slides out of his seat so Naomi can squeeze out of the booth. On surprisingly steady feet, she makes her way to the bar and flags down the bartender. “8 shots of tequila, please. And a pitcher of water.”

“Coming right up.”

While she’s waiting, Naomi hoists herself onto a barstool. She looks around, the bar is packed wall to wall. Some people are playing darts, some are dancing on the makeshift dance floor, and all of the tables are at full capacity. Her eyes settle on Ethan, who’s sitting at the end of the bar, quietly nursing a drink by himself.

She slides out of her seat and walks over to him. He’s so absorbed in his own thoughts, he doesn’t even notice her walk over to him. 

“I never thought I’d see Dr. Ethan Ramsey hanging out in a bar with the rest of us plebes,” she teases.

Naomi’s presence gets his attention. He turns his head and looks at her, really looking at her for the first time today, eyes sweeping her from head to toe. She’s no longer under the ugly fluorescent lights and out of the light blue scrubs, trading those in for a green top and extremely short shorts. Her hair, that’s been in a bun all day is down, her dark brown curls framing her face and falling to her shoulders.

He clears his throat and looks down once he realizes that he’s been staring at her for far too long. “I’ve been coming to this bar since you were probably a freshman in college.”

“Gosh, just how old are you, grandpa?”

“Old enough, how about that?”

Naomi shrugs and steals a seat next to Ethan. “I won’t tell anyone if you’re 40. Your secret is safe with me.”

“How’s your patient?” Ethan asks, completely switching gears.

“She’s good. A long day of being poked and prodded wears a girl out, and she was sleeping when I left the hospital.”

“Again, good job solving the case today. Especially since it’s only your first day here.”

“Are you complimenting me?” Naomi teases again with a gasp. “Am I no longer an amateur? Has my mettle been thoroughly tested?”

Ethan inwardly groans at his words being thrown back at him. “We started off on a bad note.”

“We did. I get that you’re Ethan Ramsey, and you’re at the top of the food chain, but it gives you absolutely no right to speak to me that way. I put in the same amount of blood, sweat, and tears into my medical training–maybe even more so, because I’m not a privileged white guy–so don’t ever forget that I deserve basic human decency again.”

“I deserved that tongue lashing.”

“You did, and maybe more.”

Ethan turns his body to face Naomi, their knees almost touching. “I’m sorry. You did save that patient’s life, and I shouldn’t have been so harsh. And you were great today. Who knows how long Taylor would’ve suffered before she received a diagnosis had you not been there. You’re a good doctor.”

Warmth blooms in Naomi’s chest at the praise. Who knew underneath his extremely cold exterior, Ethan Ramsey is actually a decent guy?

“Thank you. It just feels good to help and to give a patient clarity.”

“Can we please put our awkward meeting behind us?” Ethan asks. “For the sake of our careers and this team, we shouldn’t have any dark clouds looming ahead.”

Naomi extends her hand, offering Ethan a shake. His large hand completely envelops hers as they shake. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Good.”

“Good. Glad we got all of that out the way.” Naomi points to the tumbler in his hand. “What’s your poison?”

“Scotch, neat.” Naomi pulls a face at that answer. “What? Are you not a fan?”

“I don’t like dark liquor. And scotch is for stuffy old guys who wear suits all day and fuck their secretaries, and the villains on soap operas.”

Ethan’s eyebrows shoot up at the younger woman’s explanation. “That is ridiculously specific. And narrow-minded. Scotch isn’t for everyone though, it takes a sophisticated and refined palate to enjoy.” He raises his glass. “This is a 21 year old, single malt. $200 a bottle.”

Naomi shrugs in indifference. “If you say so.”

“God you’re so young and naive. What do you like? Peach schnapps?”

“Of course not, I’m not a 17 year old anymore. I’m a Stoli girl all the way, but Belvedere will suffice in a pinch.” Ethan nods as if he approves of her choices. “Do those get the Dr. Ramsey stamp of approval?”

“I’ve never tried Stoli before.”

“I’ll have to buy you a bottle then.”

“You think you bribe your way into my good graces?” 

“I think I’m already in them.” Ethan doesn’t respond, he only hums, neither in agreement nor denial. 

A comfortable silence lulls between the two of them, the hustle and bustle of the bar quickly fading away.

Before Ethan can move, Naomi reaches out and grabs his glass. Lifting it to her mouth with a sly smirk, she takes a languid sip, trying to gauge the mouthfeel of the drink.

He watches her, slightly transfixed as she helps herself to his drink, the way her jaw clenches, the way she doesn’t flinch in the slightest at the taste. Naomi slams the glass down on the bar, and the noise rattles around in his head, but it doesn’t fully register. A drop of the dark alcohol catches on the corner of her mouth, but she swipes at it with the pad of her thumb, which she then sucks dry.

Ethan inhales sharply. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

“Oh, that’s good,” Naomi says. “It’s surprisingly sweet!”

“Y-yeah,” Ethan stammers. “There’s notes of, uh...toffee and vanilla.”

“You should’ve led with that,” Naomi continues, oblivious to the fact that she’s nearly rendered Ethan speechless. “Next time I come here, I’m ordering whatever this is.”

The bartender comes back with Naomi’s tray of drinks. She gets out of her seat and slaps some cash down onto the care. Carefully, she grabs the tray tightly with both hands.

She glanced at Ethan once more, smiling at him. “Enjoy your night, Dr. Ramsey. See you tomorrow.” And she’s off in a flash, heading back to her newfound friends, leaving Ethan alone again. He watches her retreating form like a hawk until she’s securely at her table.

Ethan sighs heavily. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but he can feel it deep in the pit of his stomach: Naomi Valentine is about to turn his world upside down.

[sunflowerhae]

-> Forgotten Love [M.L]

Requested by • @sweetie-yoongi7 hope you like it bb!✨🐌🍄

•3.7k

warnings• slight verbal abuse, language, a fight 👊💥😤

“Write about an experience where someone you love hurt you. Explain the situation, what was done or said, how you both responded, and what the outcome was. Must be 5 full pages long, and in MLA format. God, how annoying is that? I mean, what do I write about, my mom not letting me get McDonald’s one time because we had food at home?” You scoffed while pushing yourself back into your chair at the cool, air conditioned coffee shop you currently found yourself in. Summer was just officially ending, and October was creeping it’s way into the year, which meant the air wasn’t exactly hot, but it definitely wasn’t cool enough to walk around with a jacket on. You found solace in the beige and dark brown toned drink house, that smelled like coffee beans and lured in customers with its smooth jazz playlist. You were thankful Mark picked this place to have your little date in between classes, for the chill ambiance calmed down your irritated interior.

While you loved your creative writing class, and you absolutely adored your professor, you couldn’t help but be slightly pissed off at the writing prompt she randomly assigned you. You stared at it for what seemed like hours during class, no specific moment like described coming to your conscious. You were still thinking about it as you finally looked up at Mark’s shrunken frame, and the prompt was easily forgotten as worry took over your emotions.

“Babe? Are you okay?” At your concerned tone, Mark lifted his head to meet you eyes, before quickly looking back down at his coffee. He kept glancing between your eyes and his drink, while you patiently waited for him to explain what was bothering him.

Mark scratched the back of his neck, before looking back up at you one final time, and huffing out a soft sigh. “I know what you can write about.” He had barely even mumbled it, so neither of you were surprised when you asked him to repeat himself.

“I..know what you can write about.” The way Mark refused to look you in the eyes, and the tone of his voice, lead you to believe you knew what he was talking about, and you knew he didn’t want to say it.

You and Mark were an amazing couple.

You liked the same music, you both had the same sense of humor, and you were both equally loving towards each other and your friends. You were the two oldest people in your younger friend group, and two of the youngest in your older friend group. You both balanced it out quite well, and set an example for both groups as a healthy relationship while you did it.

But that’s not to say you were perfect.

It was a year ago, to be exact. You were both at the beginning of your sophomore year of college, and the priorities were starting to stack for both of you. Mark -being a music major- had to write a song and collab with the dance majors to make a dance for the song in about two months and turn it in as a beginning of the year exam. Meanwhile, you -being a film major- had to make a small movie using the theater kids as your actors; due in a month. To top on to all the stress, you had both recently moved in together, and had barely started unboxing before the projects got thrust at you.

You hadn’t noticed he was distancing himself from you, at first.

You were so distracted with your project, that every time he would blow off eating dinner together, or would stay at the school until well into the night, you didn’t complain much; just trying to finish your project and get a good grade. It wasn’t until a month later that you started to see that something was wrong. You had finished your project and had gotten amazing grades, and all you wanted to do was go out on a nice date with your boyfriend; something you hadn’t done in about a month. You texted him the time and place to meet you at, to dress nice, and that you’d be waiting with a surprise. You had seen the small “read 3:14pm” under the text, and while you were a bit puzzled as to why he didn’t respond, you didn’t worry about it too much - seeing as lately that was his thing - and just got ready for the night you hoped would be just as amazing as the day was.

You thought you looked pretty beautiful.

Your hair was nicely done, your nails were painted marks favorite color, and the black, tight dress with sleeves hanging off the side accentuated your body and breasts perfectly. You had even sent Haechan a picture to make sure it was “hot,” to which he replied that Mark’s a lucky man, which made you smile. You were looking fine tonight, and while you had had a reason to celebrate, you couldn’t wait to give Mark your all tonight.

{for more effect, I suggest playing It Happened Quiet by AURORA here}

You took your seat in the dimly lit restaurant that was definitely too expensive for a music and film major, and waited for your water that was requested to the waiter to arrive. With a quick glance at the time on your phone, you realized Mark wouldn’t be here for another ten minutes or so. So you just sat there, trying to distract yourself from the excessive amount of bread on your table, and watched the clock count down until 7:30, when Mark should be arriving.

7:40 rolled around and you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at the door like it just did you super dirty. While it was just 10 minutes late, Mark was never one to be late.

Okay, that’s a lie, but he was never late to these type of things. And you perfectly timed it so that he would have time to get home from school, change, and then get to the restaurant. You quickly shot Mark a “you on your way?” text, before setting down your phone, trying not to be the clingy girlfriend, and keep your hope that Mark would be there soon.

Yet, by the time the clock struck 9, and your bread was stale and you had drank enough water to definitely get a bladder infection if you didn’t pee soon, your hope was completely dead. You silently got up from your seat and gave a small smile and nod to the hostess - who shot a sympathetic smile to you - before pushing the door of the restaurant open and walking toward your car.

You tried not to cry on the way home, but when you walked through the front door to see a dark and cold apartment, indicating that Mark had not yet come home, you couldn’t help but let the tears fall at the thought of something happening to him. You had called and texted him multiple times, and when he answered none of them, you even called the hospital to see if they had seen a patient that fit Mark’s description, or had someone named Mark Lee come in. You called all the hospitals in your area, in fact, but nothing came up. Your last hope was someone you actually didn’t want to call. Not because you didn’t want to call her, but because you didn’t want what you’re thinking to be true. But when all of your friends said they hadn’t heard from him, you had almost no choice.

“Hello?” Her chipper voice on the other end made you want to cringe, but you held it together.

“If Mark is in the room, don’t say my name. It’s y/n. Is mark with you?”

Yerim honestly didn’t know what to say. She stuttered a bit on the other end, before clearing her throat and mumbling a, “yes”.

You sighed and gave a half hearted, “okay, don’t tell him I called or anything, okay? Can you just, like, pretend you never even talked to me? Thanks Yeri,” hanging up the phone before she could answer.

You didn’t know how you felt about Mark working on a school project with his ex. When you had met Mark, it was at a college party during freshman year, around a year or so ago, actually. He had just been through a terrible breakup with his high school sweetheart who was - you guessed it - Yeri. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew you were the rebound. You just, fell so hard for him in the short time you had known him that, it didn’t really matter. You guessed somewhere along the way, Mark actually did fall for you, because he stayed, and he said he loved you, and you moved in together. Because of this, and because of the fact that Yeri was never brought up, you didn’t feel too insecure about your relationship.

But now that you’re sitting on the couch in silence, thinking about the fact that your boyfriend ditched your date to hang out with his ex, you can’t help but feel a bit unconfident in where your standing was with Mark. You slowly started realizing that Mark had, in fact, been distancing himself the past month; choosing to instead spend time with his ex-girlfriend instead of the girl that he claimed he loved.

Jealously and insecurities bit away at your insides when you heard the door slowly being unlocked from the outside. Looking at your phone, you realized it was 11:32pm. You had called Yeri at 10:15, so you suppose she honored your request to not tell Mark you called.

Mark was surprised to see you sitting on the couch when he walked in. He had figured that you would have gone to bed already. It was quite late for a Friday for you, seeing as this was the day you usually went to bed early; tired from the week. He felt guilty looking at you, so he choose to train his eyes on anything besides your crumbled figure on the couch. Meanwhile, you stood up, trying to catch his gaze.

“Mark. Where were you tonight?” Your harsh infliction made Mark slightly flinch. He wanted to apologize, because he knows what he missed. And when he finally did look at you, he felt even more guilty, because you looked quite upset about the situation, and you also looked absolutely beautiful tonight. Your black dress fit your body and extenuated your curves perfectly. Your hair was done gorgeously, and he could tell you spent a long time on your makeup. Mark did want to apologize, but when you said,

“Do you even care about this relationship, I mean it seems like all you’ve done lately is ignore me-”

Mark had almost seen red. Every little thing bothering him lately just...boiled over. He wasn’t thinking before he spoke, which never worked for him; this time wasn’t so different.

“God, shut up! Just shut up! All you do is talk! This is why I prefer to spend my time with Yeri, because she’s not so extreme like you always are! You’re not even half the women Yeri is, and you’ll never be! Sometimes I wish I hadn’t picked you to be my rebound for her an-“ Mark stopped himself from talking by clamping his hand over his mouth with wide eyes.

He hadn’t meant that.

He had not meant that.

He was just so upset by everything lately, and he spoke without thinking, like an absolute idiot.

But you didn’t know that. The tears streaming out of your eyes and the wobbling chin showed that for him. He reached out for you and took a step forward, only for you to take a step back, which basically broke Mark in half.

“Y/n I...” Nothing was said between you too, what was there to be said? To you, Mark had finally shown how he had really felt for the past month or so. You gave him one last look, before walking past him, putting on your heels - which were the fastest thing you could slip on - and quickly opening the door.

At the sound of the door, Mark snapped out of his daze, and rushed after you. “Y/n, no! Give me the keys, you can’t drive right now!”

Your tears had, in fact, gotten worse, but you said nothing to Mark as you picked up your pace to the parking lot of your apartments. Mark almost caught up with you, but you sped up even faster, which silently baffled him because you were wearing heals.

You finally got into the car and quickly got in to the drivers seat and locked the door just as mark arrived at the door. He was practically begging you not to go, and pleading to open the door. You just cried more and put your keys into the ignition, before backing out and driving out; Mark feeling like he was watching his whole life drive away from him.

{for more effect, I suggest playing Forgotten Love by AURORA here. You may have to play it multiple times.}

It had been three months since that incident. Three months since you and Mark talked. Three months of you being single. You, unfortunately, had a basic math class with Mark, and while you two used to sit in the corner together, you now both sat on opposite sides of the classroom. Or you in the front - him in the back. Wherever the first one in sat, the other sat on the opposite side.

Mark felt like he went through hell and back in those three months. He felt incredibly bad for what he said to you, and the fact that after that night, he didn’t try to get you back at all. The Monday after, you just sat on opposite ends, quietly agreeing that it was over. You had gotten all your stuff from the apartment, and luckily Haechan had a spare room you could live in.

Speaking of Haechan, your friend group was absolutely baffled when you both told them you had broken up. It had seemed like just a month before, you two were completely in love with each other; on the same page and everything. Then a month later; it’s over. They didn’t know who they should invite where, but you both reassured them (seperately. You both were just secretly on the same page still, without knowing it.) that you would be fine at the same social events.

You, of course, didn’t factor in that you would be watching your ex-boyfriend bring girls up to random rooms in his friends frat during parties. And that at bonfires, you would see him kissing random girls cheeks from across the fire. Or that, when you all had a group study date, he would bring a girl that none of you knew. You didn’t factor in that your ex-boyfriend would actively go out of his way to hurt you.

Truthfully, Mark didn’t do it to hurt you. He did it because if he didn’t hook up with girls at frat parties, he would drink too much and end up trying to kiss you. And if he didn’t flirt with girls at bonfires, he would spend the whole time staring at your from across the fire. And if he didn’t bring a girl to the study dates, he would break his pencils in anger when jaemin would wrap his arm around you in affection. But, at every event, no matter who he was with, Mark always failed.

He couldn’t stop stealing glances at you from across the fire while you laughed at something Nayeon - Johnny’s girlfriend - said to you. He couldn’t stop himself from breaking his pencils under the table when jaemin played with the tips of your hair. And he always ended up leaving the girls before anything happened at frat parties because he couldn’t stop wishing it was you.

It was actually at a frat party that Mark had gotten you back.

You were trying to have a good time. You didn’t come to the frat parties much, because the pain of seeing Mark lead a girl upstairs hurt you so much, you felt like your chest was on fire. But Haechan had all but begged you show up to this one, and you would have never declined anyway; It was Taeil’s birthday, after all.

You were dancing with Dahyun and Chaeyoung when you felt two hands grip your waist. You expected it to be one of the guys, so you turned with a smile on your face, only to come face to face with a man you had never met. The smile on your face dropped, and you took a step back from his grip.

He gave you a sick smile, and moved forward, back into your space.

“Hey, pretty girl. Wanna dance?”

“No.” You exclaimed disgustingly, before trying to move away from the unknown man. However, that proved difficult as his grip on your wrist was quite violent, and strong. You winced, and kept tugging on your hand, to no avail.

“Leave me alone, I don’t want to dance with you.” You kept pushing your arm back, but he just tugged you closer to his chest. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and felt sick to your stomach at what was about to happen. At the thought, you started wiggling out of his grip at a faster speed.

“Bitch, stop moving-“

“Call her a bitch one more fucking time, asshole.” You opened your eyes to see a small group has formed around you, your mystery creeper, and..Mark?!

“Get lost, man. This ones mine.”

Mark was seeing red again.

“She’s...not ....PROPERTY!” and with that final statement, Mark swung his fist and you ducked just in time for the weirdo to be struck in the face and loosen his grip on you completely. You pushed yourself forward, and ran behind Mark, to the open arms of your friends, who - as you understand - ran to get mark the minute they saw you struggling.

Mark fought this dude almost twice his size for a minute, and he was about to be taken out, before he locked eyes with you, and the power surged through him. One final punch to the unknown asshole, and he was on floor. Everyone cheered, and some people were already picking up his body, chanting “POOL! POOL! POOL!” But the noise faded out as Mark strides up to you, takes your hand, and drags you upstairs. He pushes you both into a bathroom, where you suddenly take charge as you force him down on the seat, and look through the cabinet for a first aid kit.

You and Mark say nothing as you rub his cut with alcohol. At the sudden sting, Mark hisses and places his hands on your hips, gripping them harshly to push himself through the burn. You can’t help but let your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of the love of your life’s hands on you again. You felt like you had lived a thousand years without water, and were suddenly given a water bottle.

You didn’t realize how long you stood there, relishing in the feeling of Marks hands on you. Mark had opened his eyes, to see you with your eyes closed and you hands clasped together in front of your chest - the cotton ball resting in your hands. Mark pulled you closer to him with a whimper, and when you opened your eyes back, you saw that you were significantly closer to Mark, and that he had tears threatening to fall.

With a cough, you looked back at the first aid kit and pushed yourself out of Mark’s strong grip. Another couple of minutes went by in silence, before Mark finally let out a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Your movements halted, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look down at the sad boys eyes.

“I spoke before thinking. I didn’t really mean the things I said, I was just stressed out from school, a-and, fuck I don’t know, y/n. I just..”

Mark was crying now, and he leaned down and placed his hands in his hands. You stepped back in surprise with wide eyes. “I just want you back. I want my girlfriend back. I want to love you again and spend a decade and then some apologizing for what I said. I’m such a fucking idiot I know I don’t deser-“

You shut him up by pushing his shoulders back up, sitting on his lap with your legs on either side of him (terribly hard to do on a toilet, but you’re a master), and kissing him like a woman starved. Mark quickly falls into your lips, and brings his hands up and under your butt, effectively scooping you up a bit.

You don’t know how long you and Mark sat there kissing, but when Yuta walked into the bathroom to pee and had to see two twenty year olds kissing, he never let you live it down.

You smile fondly at the memory, before looking back up at your lover, awkwardly sitting across from you. Before you know it, you’re leaning forward and taking his hand in yours.

“I’m not going to write about that. That was a personal thing between us, and I honestly don’t want to relive that moment longer than I have already. I’m going to write about the time my cousin stole my DS.” You laughed, and Mark visibly relaxed at hearing you weren’t going to write about it. While he had suggested it, that was because he wanted you to feel like you could talk about it if you wanted, but the truth is he hated reliving those three months too. He remembers what terrible state he was in without you, and he doesn’t like to think about it.

You knew he was dwelling on it, so you stood up slightly from the table and leaned down to kiss Mark - who saw what you were doing and met you half way. You both gave each other a few more pecks before you whispered, “I forgive you, always and forever. And I love you.”