#5 gut punches in quick succession

[smoothiediet4]

The Ultimate Guide to a Smoothie Diet: Benefits, Recipes, and Tips

Smoothies have taken the health and wellness world by storm, offering a convenient and delicious way to pack a nutritional punch. Whether you're looking to lose weight, boost your energy, or simply incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your diet, a smoothie diet can be an excellent choice. In this article, we'll explore the benefits of a smoothie diet, provide some delicious recipes, and share tips for success. JOIN THE SMOOTHIE DIET21-DAY PROGRAM

What is a Smoothie Diet?

A smoothie diet involves replacing one or more meals with nutrient-dense smoothies. These smoothies typically contain a blend of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and healthy fats. The goal is to consume a balanced mix of macronutrients and micronutrients in an easily digestible form.

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Benefits of a Smoothie Diet

1. Weight Loss: Smoothies can help with weight loss by reducing calorie intake while still providing essential nutrients. They are often lower in calories than traditional meals and can keep you feeling full and satisfied.

2. Improved Digestion: The fiber content in smoothies aids in digestion and promotes a healthy gut. Blending fruits and vegetables makes their nutrients more accessible, allowing for better absorption.

3. Increased Energy: Starting your day with a smoothie can give you an energy boost. The natural sugars in fruits provide quick energy, while the fiber and protein offer sustained energy throughout the day.

4. Detoxification: Smoothies made with leafy greens and detoxifying ingredients like ginger and lemon can help cleanse your body of toxins and improve overall health.

5. Convenience: Smoothies are quick and easy to prepare, making them a perfect option for busy mornings or on-the-go meals.

Essential Ingredients for a Healthy Smoothie

To ensure your smoothie is both delicious and nutritious, include the following ingredients:

- Fruits: Berries, bananas, mangoes, apples, and pineapples add natural sweetness and essential vitamins.

- Vegetables: Spinach, kale, cucumbers, and carrots are excellent for adding fiber and nutrients without altering the taste significantly.

- Protein: Greek yogurt, protein powder, tofu, or nut butter can help keep you full and support muscle growth.

- Healthy Fats: Avocado, chia seeds, flaxseeds, and coconut oil provide essential fatty acids and promote satiety.

- Liquids: Water, almond milk, coconut water, or green tea can help achieve the desired consistency without adding too many calories.

Delicious Smoothie Recipes

1. Green Detox Smoothie

- 1 cup spinach

- 1 cup kale

- 1 banana

- 1/2 apple

- 1/2 cucumber

- 1 tablespoon chia seeds

- 1 cup water or coconut water

2. Berry Protein Smoothie

- 1 cup mixed berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries)

- 1 banana

- 1/2 cup Greek yogurt

- 1 scoop protein powder

- 1 cup almond milk

3. Tropical Mango Smoothie

- 1 cup frozen mango chunks

- 1/2 banana

- 1/2 cup pineapple juice

- 1/2 cup coconut milk

- 1 tablespoon flaxseeds

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Tips for Success on a Smoothie Diet

JOIN THE SMOOTHIE DIET 21-DAY PROGRAM

1. Plan Ahead: Prepare your ingredients the night before to save time in the morning. You can even pre-portion smoothie packs and store them in the freezer.

2. Balance Your Smoothies: Ensure your smoothies have a good balance of carbohydrates, protein, and fats to keep you full and energized.

3. Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to how your body responds to the smoothie diet. If you feel hungry or fatigued, adjust your recipes to include more protein or healthy fats.

4. Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and support digestion.

5. Gradual Transition: If you're new to a smoothie diet, start by replacing one meal a day with a smoothie and gradually increase the frequency.

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Conclusion

A smoothie diet can be a delicious and effective way to improve your health, lose weight, and boost your energy levels. By incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and healthy fats, you can create satisfying and nutrient-dense meals that support your overall well-being. Remember to plan ahead, listen to your body, and enjoy the journey towards a healthier you.

By following these tips and trying out the provided recipes, you'll be well on your way to reaping the benefits of a smoothie diet. Don't forget to share your favorite smoothie recipes and experiences in the comment section and JOIN THE SMOOTHIE DIET 21-DAY PROGRAM!

[riddhirathod07-blog]

Overnight Escape: Finding the Fastest Fix for Constipation Woes

Let's face it, waking up to the lingering echoes of yesterday's digestive drama is nobody's idea of a good morning. Constipation, with its hard stools and straining struggles, can steal the joy out of even the sunniest day. But fear not, fellow sufferers! We're here to explore the fastest ways to find overnight relief and greet the dawn with a clear colon and a smile.

First things first: Let's define "overnight."

While true "cure" isn't always achievable in a single sleep cycle, overnight relief can certainly bring sweet solace. Remember, chronic constipation needs a long-term plan, not just a quick fix. However, for that occasional battle of the bowels, we can find some speedy allies.

The Overnight Relief Brigade:

Stool Softeners: Gentle warriors like docusate sodium (Colace) and mineral oil work by attracting water to the stool, softening it and making it easier to pass. Think of them as lubrication for your intestinal plumbing system. While not the fastest (taking 1-3 days), they offer overnight relief without urgency or discomfort.

Stimulant Laxatives: These are the impatient foot soldiers, like senna and bisacodyl (Ex-Lax). They stimulate the colon muscles, causing contractions that propel the stool along. Think of them as a boot camp for your bowels. These work fast (within 6-12 hours), offering overnight results, but come with potential side effects like cramping and urgency. Avoid long-term use as they can disrupt your natural rhythm.

Suppositories: Glycerin and bisacodyl suppositories bypass the digestive system altogether, melting in the rectum and stimulating contractions. They're the Special Forces of overnight relief, offering results within 15-30 minutes. However, they can be messy and uncomfortable, and shouldn't be used regularly.

Beyond the Pill: Natural Overnight Allies:

Remember, true freedom lies in long-term solutions. Here are some natural champions that can give your sluggish gut a nighttime boost:

Warm Water Power: A warm glass of water before bed can stimulate your digestive system and soften stool. Bonus points for adding lemon or ginger for an extra boost!

Prune Power: These dried plums are nature's gentle laxative, packing a double punch of fiber and sorbitol, a natural sugar that stimulates the colon. Enjoy a few prunes soaked in hot water before bed for a delicious and effective overnight remedy.

Abdominal Massage Magic: A gentle massage of your abdomen can help relax the colon muscles and ease discomfort. Try massaging in a clockwise direction for 5-10 minutes before bed.

Relaxation Rituals: Stress can worsen constipation. Practice calming activities like reading, taking a warm bath, or deep breathing before bed to help your body relax and encourage digestive flow.

Remember: Always consult your doctor before trying any new medication or supplement, especially if you have any underlying health conditions. Chronic constipation might require further investigation and a personalized treatment plan.

The Overnight Escape Plan:

Don't let constipation ruin your sleep! Choose an overnight relief option that suits your needs and preferences. For gentle softening, opt for stool softeners. If you need faster results, consider a stimulant laxative, but use it sparingly. Suppositories offer the quickest fix but should be a last resort. Remember, natural allies like warm water, prunes, massage, and relaxation can go a long way in achieving overnight comfort.

With the right approach, you can turn your bathroom blues into a morning victory. Celebrate each successful escape from the clutches of constipation and wake up to a happier, healthier you!

Bonus Tip: Avoid heavy meals and caffeine before bed, as they can worsen constipation. Opt for a light, fiber-rich snack and prioritize relaxation to ensure a smooth sailing night.

Remember, you're not alone in this battle of the bowels! With the right tools and a commitment to long-term gut health, you can reclaim your throne and conquer constipation for good. Now go forth and sleep soundly, knowing that a smooth morning awaits!

[onyxgabriel]

Silent Knight: Easter Lovin’

*Insert Easter pun here*

WARNING! VERY NSFW!

Easter is a holiday celebrating gathering colorful chocolate eggs for kids to eat. Jaune walked down the halls of Beacon on his way to his team’s dorm room. Apparently, his girlfriend, Neopolitan, called him to come to the dorm.

Jaune was a little nervous about what his mute, psychotic girlfriend had in store for him. He just hopes it wasn’t crazy and chaotic, he already had enough this morning.

Nora and Ruby were definitely excited about getting chocolate the two redheads were VERY competitive in the gathering part. It resulted in a mini civil war between the two.

Pyrrha and Ren stayed with the rest of his circle group of friends to stop the two sugar-addicted girls in their little war.

When he arrived at the dorm, he took a deep breath and braced himself on what was on the other side of the door.

Jaune: Alright, Neo why did you call-

Standing in front of him was his short stack of a girlfriend. She wore a pair of pink and brown bunny ears on top of her head. But what got him the most was that she was wearing one of those reverse bunny suits. Her front was completely exposed, leaving her large tits that can make Yang feel insecure about hers, her slim and toned belly, and her sex in full view in front of him. Neo’s face had a seductive smile and raised her gloved-covered hands close to her head and made a peace sign. She looked incredibly sexy.

But Jaune just stood there, with an unreadable expression on his face. 

After 5 seconds of awkwardness, Neo’s seductive look was replaced with concern. She slowly approached her boyfriend/plaything with caution.

She waved her hand in front of his face. No reaction.

She poked him on the cheek. No reaction.

She poked him in the face several times.

The last thing she will remember that hour was his hand snatching her wrist.

One hour later…

Neo’s face twisted into an ahegao as she felt her normally timid boyfriend fucked her in a full nelson position. Her bunny ears were knocked off of her head long ago. Her slim belly sported a bulge where his dick was, she watched it cleave into her between her swinging breasts. She heard her blonde stud huff and growl close to her. She loved riling him up so he’d snap and senselessly fuck her into a coma.

She felt him throb inside her, signaling his release, and braced herself. 

When he did, it felt like a punch in the gut, but the pleasurable kind. Her mismatched eyes rolled back into her sockets and her tongue lolled out and her belly bloated with every pump inside. It felt so warm and Neo loved it.

But she has a feeling Jaune was far from being done with her.

Two hours later…

Jaune and Neo wrestled their tongues while the blonde rammed Neo in a mating press position. Her small body was almost unnoticeable due to Jaune’s bigger and muscular body. She wrapped her arms and thicc legs around her boyfriend’s neck and waist so he wouldn’t leave, not that Jaune was ever going to anyway.

Jaune came again, due to the proximity of their bodies, cum just seeped out of her stuffed snatch, creating a puddle on the sheets.

Jaune flipped Neo on her belly in quick succession, startling her, and went back to rutting. Her big tits cushion her while simultaneously giving Jaune a nice view of her tits getting pancaked deliciously.

Jaune spanked her ass and left a red handprint.

Jaune: Mine.

Neo shuddered in pleasure. She loves it when he gets dominant! She bit her lip when he spanked her again.

30 minutes later…

Jaune pulled out of Neo’s cunt and admired the view. Neo face down and ass in the air with her cunt oozing with his spunk. Her cheeks were covered in handprints. But there was one more hole he hadn't claimed…

Neo felt something familiar poke her asshole and made her eyes widen. She was about to do something but she was already too late…

In one swift motion, Jaune lodged all of his nine-and-a-half-inch meat in her ass, making her cough up spittle in the process.

Jaune then proceeded to fuck her ass for another hour.

After the long bed-breaking sex…

The remaining members of NPR were shocked to find their room in such a messed-up condition. A few books fell from the bookshelf, a table practically broken in half and the legs of Jaune’s bed broken. And on said blonde’s bed was his girlfriend face down and ass up. She wore the most pleasured face ever seen and both of her holes stretched out and oozed with jizz and sported a belly bulge. They swore they saw her leg twitch.

They were brought out of their thoughts by the bathroom door opening.

Out came their leader with nothing but a towel on his waist.

Jaune: Oh hey guys! Enjoyed the hunt?

Ren: Errr, yeah. Nora was a handful.

Jaune just nodded.

Jaune: Well, glad you guys had fun. I had fun too, isn’t that right Neo?

He walked up to his ruined girlfriend and spanked her again. This caused Neo’s legs to finally stop supporting her body and caused the bulge to release the cum from inside and out of her two holes.

Jaune’s face grimaced as he saw the massive puddle of his own making spread on the floor.

Jaune: I’m gonna have to clean that, don’t I?

Ren: Yes. Yes, you should.

Ren glanced at Pyrrha, who had a big blush on her face and started to breathe heavily.

Nora on the other hand…

Nora: Nice! thumbs up

If you want to know what Neo's wearing, here ya go:

[restlessfandoming]

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 9) (chilumi fic)

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]

my brain b decayin luv 

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link] // [Main AO3]

the president and the troublemaker (part 9)

Was this a hallucination? 

Had Lumine been out in the sun for too long? 

Surely, there was no way she was about to fight Childe of all people. 

And yet, there he stood, with that stupid grin of his, stretching his arms across the ring from her. 

“What are you doing here?” Lumine said through gritted teeth. 

“And let you have all the fun, all alone? No way,” he teased. He stretched his arms upwards, his gray tank top riding up as well, exposing well-sculpted abs (which of course made a gaggle of girls screech nearby). He caught sight of Lumine’s gaze, and laughed. “Aren’t you a little hot in that t-shirt, Lumi?” 

Bastard. 

Lumine would’ve obliterated the ground underneath that smirking ginger if she could. 

“Hey, ref,” she said to the man sitting on the lifeguard chair behind her. “Any illegal moves we can’t do?” 

The man pondered for a second. “Not really—we’re pretty casual here.” He laughed. “Just make sure you guys don’t hurt each other too much.” 

“No promises,” Lumine muttered, marching to the center of the ring. 

Childe copied her movements, and eventually stood before her. “Looks like we’re the last two left,” he said. “I wonder who will become champion of this little competition?” 

Lumine didn’t respond, instead choosing to glare up at him. 

He tilted his head curiously. “Lumine…,” he asked lowly. “Did I really hurt you earlier?” 

No, you didn’t hurt me. She didn’t know what he was doing to her. 

Her life was going perfectly fine, the exact way she had planned, until Childe found out her secret. Not only did he find out her secret, he had inserted himself into her life, and left her a swirling mess of confusing feelings—feelings she had never experienced before nor any idea of how to deal with them. He said he loved her. 

“Ready!” the referee shouted. 

Lumine raised her fists up. 

Childe mimicked her with raised brows. “That doesn’t really look like a wrestling stance to me.” 

The referee blew the whistle—the match had begun. 

Lumine immediately swung forward with a punch, to which Childe blocked easily with his forearm. 

His eye twitched. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

Lumine swung again, with her other arm, and Childe quickly moved back, out of the way. The crowd around them broke into hushed murmurs as the realization set in that this was not a normal match.

Childe shook out his hands, then raised them back up, cocking his head from side to side. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With a grin, he lunged towards her with a fast and powerful swing. 

Lumine felt the air blow past her face as she jumped back, her palm catching his other fist as it came in quick succession milliseconds after. She shoved his hand away, with her leg darting out in an attempt to sweep him off his feet. 

He jumped, and using the brief window of distraction, she swung at his face again. At the last second, his hands caught her forearm, and she was now stuck in his vice grip. 

“Come on, Lumine,” he breathed. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

She tried pulling her arm away, to no avail. “You,” she hissed. 

His grip loosened, just a bit, and Lumine yanked her arm out. 

“Me?” he asked. “What about me exactly?” 

“Everything.” She threw a jab at his face. “Everything you do.” Another jab. “You tease me. You confuse me.” A sweep with her foot. “I don’t know what’s happening to me—because of you.”

Childe dodged every single one of her moves, though his brows were now furrowed in concentration, and a slick sheen of sweat glistened on his face; they were tiring each other out. At this rate, neither one of them would win. Lumine’s frustration grew, bubbling and festering deep in her gut. 

“If you want me to stop,” Childe said, “I will.” He threw a punch at her. “Say the word, and I’ll go away.” Each word he said was punctuated with a swing at her, backing her up further and further. 

Do I want him to disappear?

If he did, her life could go back to normal—she could go back to normal. 

And yet, part of her knew it wouldn’t feel right.

He had really taken her out of her comfort zone, broadened her horizons. Made her a better fighter. A better person. 

Childe wasn’t the problem. The problem was her: it was her frustration and her inability to figure out how she felt about him.

“Do you really hate me, Lumine?” Childe asked. 

No. 

I like you, you idiot. 

She stepped back, ready to answer through her fists. What she didn’t realize, however, how far back she was, and she crashed directly into the referee’s chair. 

There were sharp gasps from the audience as she fell onto her back, the wind knocked from her lungs, too stunned to roll out of the way as the tall metal chair came tumbling down on her. She could only shut her eyes, and brace for impact. 

The unmistakable hollow sound of metal against skin resounded in her ears. But she didn’t feel anything. She opened her eyes. 

Poised above her was Childe, his hands on either side of her head, while his body shielded hers; his face was twisted in pain. 

“Childe?” Lumine whispered. 

He opened his eyes, and upon seeing her gazing right back at him, he forced a meek smile. 

“Hey, girlie,” he said, strained. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah.” She put a hand on his chest, gentle, trying to help stabilize his shaking arms. “What about you?”

A heavy huff of a breath. “I’m fine.”

The chair was lifted off of him as spectators gathered around the two, a swirl of questions and calls for medical attention. 

As he sat up, Lumine sat up as well, her hand subconsciously clutching the front of his shirt, holding him close as her concern grew. 

Childe kept persisting he was fine to everyone around, but when someone behind noted a large bruise was blossoming across his back—so large it was visible through his top—Lumine turned him around and examined it herself. 

Her fingers traced the injury, and when Childe winced, she told him they were going to the nearest clinic—no arguments. After a hasty call to Kaeya and Aether explaining the situation, the two were sitting in one of the clinic’s rooms, waiting for the doctor. 

“I told you, I’m fine,” Childe repeated from his seat on the exam table. “It’s just a bruise. It’ll go away.”

“You really don’t like getting your injuries treated,” Lumine huffed from her chair nearby. “You didn’t even want to go to a hospital after diving off a building.” 

He shrugged with a smile. “What can I say? I like to test the limits of my strength.”

Lumine rolled her eyes. “You’re not invincible, you know.” 

“I’d like to think so.”

“Jesus, who let your ego grow this much?” 

“I haven’t died yet, so there’s nothing to prove I’m not invincible.”

Lumine stood, and poked at his back. She saw his muscles jolt and scoffed. “You sure about that?”

Childe leaned back on his hands. “Injuries and scars mean nothing if I’m still breathing.” 

Lumine looked at him curiously. “What kind of mentality is that?” 

He looked back at her, his blue eyes dark in thought. Then, he grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled it over his head. 

Immediately, Lumine slammed her eyes shut, even throwing her arms over her face to block out her vision completely. “What are you doing?!” she managed to squeak out. 

There was a soft chuckle from Childe, and before she knew it, he had gently grabbed her hand, guiding it towards it, until she felt her fingers flat against his chest. She let out another squeak as her hand felt his bare skin.

Though it definitely didn’t feel normal. It felt smooth, unnatural. Lumine opened one eye to peek. 

There was a large pinkish-white scar etched on his sternum. A knife wound of sorts. Right by the heart. Life threatening.

“Some no good scumbags did this to me when I was young,” Childe explained. “Insignificant now, but maybe the reason I push myself so much. Nothing will ever come close to this life-or-death moment.” 

Lumine’s entire system felt dry as she imagined a little boy with a smattering of orange hair and bright blue eyes with this wound, gaping of blood. What kind of monsters…? “Do...Do you know who did this to you?” Lumine didn’t realize how hoarse her voice sounded until she heard her nearly trembling voice spill out. 

Another chuckle, a little darker this time. “What? Are you going to get revenge for me?” 

Lumine’s eyes stung. “You’re not angry? Upset that some monsters out there nearly killed you? When you were only a kid?”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Childe let out a sheepish laugh. “Didn’t mean to make you upset, Lumine.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, straining to keep the tears at bay. “I just...I’m always so dependent on you. Whenever I need help, you’re just magically there to save the day.” Her head hung down, eyes fixed on the floor. “I can’t even repay you for all the times you’ve come to my rescue. And you’re always the one to get hurt. Even when I’m horrible, when I’m stubborn and angry and—”

Childe wrapped his arms around Lumine, pulling her in for a tight embrace. “I’m plenty dependent on you too, Lumi.” His words buzzed against her ear as his chin rested on her shoulder. 

She hesitated a moment. But her arms eventually found their way around him as well. “Just...let me help you. Like how you help me.”

He pulled back, just a bit, his lips ghosting over her forehead as he murmured, “You already are.”

Lumine looked up at him, how impossibly close he was. Her eyes trickled down to his lips.

His eyes followed hers, and she felt his muscles tense against her skin. 

As the heat crept from the pit of her stomach to the apples of her cheeks, Lumine’s eyelids fluttered closed, and she leaned in—

CLICK.

“Alrighty, how are we doing today—?” 

Lumine and Childe froze and turned to the open door. The doctor looked back at them with raised brows. 

“Sorry, should I come back…?” the doctor asked, his voice lined with amusement.

Lumine’s arms snapped back to her own body as she frantically waved in front of her. “N-no, no, no; ah, uhm, sorry, doctor!” She quickly deflated back into the chair, facing the wall away from Childe as the doctor began his examination. 

Her heart was constantly hammering away at her chest the entire time, barely noticing the exam was over until Childe tapped her arm, jolting her back to reality. 

“Ready to go, Lumi?” he asked, a wide grin splitting his face. 

“Already? What did the doctor say?” 

“Oh? Were you a little...distracted?” If possible, his grin stretched wider. 

Lumine stood, leaving the room abruptly. “You can die for all I care,” she muttered sarcastically. 

He jogged to keep up with her. “He said I was okay: just a bad bruise that will go away after a while.” 

The two exited the building, walking into the colorful sorbet glow of sunset. 

“Back to the beach house?” Lumine asked. 

Childe hummed in agreement. There was a brief pause before he leaned down, right into her shoulder, and said, “Unless you want to finish where we left off.” 

Lumine put her palm on his forehead, shoving him away, his laugh breezing her arm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she answered, walking away. I am going to die from embarrassment. 

God, she had never been so...so vulnerable in front of someone. To think, she was about to kiss—

“You never did answer me, by the way,” Childe said, walking by her side. 

“What?”

“When we were fighting.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Whether you hate me or not.” 

Lumine bit the side of her cheek. “What about you?” she blurted. “Do you really love me, or is it just another one of your stupid jokes?” 

“Does it bother you?” 

Childe had stopped walking, his expression all tight lines.

“Does it bother you?” Childe repeated. “If I’m in love with you?” 

Was she going to continue running from him? Denying anything and everything about him? In the end, it would just hurt them both, wouldn’t it? 

“No,” Lumine answered quietly. 

A soft smile tugged at Childe’s lips, and he stepped in front of her, putting his hand on top of her head. “And do you hate me, Lumi?” 

“N-no.” 

“Again.”

Her face scrunched. “I...I don’t hate you, Childe.” 

I like you. Why couldn’t she just say it?

“Don’t look so constipated, Pres.” 

Lumine’s jaw dropped as her head snapped up at Childe’s face. “I am not—!”

Childe kissed her forehead, gently, his hand delicately placed on her cheek. 

“Thank you, Lumine,” he said, his breath rustling her golden locks. “For everything today.” 

She clutched his shirt, legs shaking—but she didn’t back away. “I should be the one saying thank you. For saving me.” 

“Always.” 

“I’ll save you too,” Lumine whispered. “I swear.” 

“It’s a promise, then,” Childe whispered back.

* * *

[part 10]

[aster-aspera]

Before I wash away

CW for this chapter: hypothermia, drowning

Relationship: platonic loceit

chapter title is from Heaven Knows by Five for Fighting

Masterlist

Read on ao3

Logan and Janus stood side by side on the docks.

“You’re sure your information is sound?” Logan asked, still not trusting the villain entirely, despite Patton and Virgil’s insistence he was ‘good now’.

“Darling, when have I ever led you wrong?” Janus purred.

Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want a list?”

Janus huffed.

“That was always on purpose, I was just having fun. My information is never wrong. Or don’t you trust me?”

“No, in fact, I do not not.”

Janus blinked in surprise, he must have been so used to Virgil and Patton fawning over him, he hadn’t even considered the notion that not everyone on the team trusted him.

“I have been working with you for months now and have yet to lead you astray, what more do you expect from me?”

“That might be so, but you can’t expect me to believe you just decided one day to suddenly do the right thing. You were perfectly comfortable running the criminal underground. There is no logical reason you would decide to join us and until I know what motivated you to switch, I will have no choice but to be suspicious of you.” Logan explained, trying not to let his anger seep into his tone.

“You really think I decided to become a good person in one day? Have you forgotten all I’ve done for this city? I kept the criminals in line, I helped you in your jobs, I was on your side long before I officially joined you.” He said, a dark edge slithering into his tone.

“You helped us and kept the criminals in line because you wanted control over them, you wanted power. And just because you have the slightest semblance of a moral code does not automatically make you a good person.”

Janus turned away from him and took a deep breath, his eyes trained on the skyline, where the last dregs of sunlight were disappearing into the water.

“I never wanted that power.” He said, sounding oddly vulnerable.

Logan blinked in confusion and then hardened himself. Janus knew how to manipulate people, knew how to use their sympathy against them, no doubt he was doing the same now.

“Stop trying to manipulate me, that might work with Patton but I can see through your flimsy façade.”

Janus’s eyes hardened and he pulled up his mask.

“Well, if you really think a villain is all I am, you clearly don’t want my help on this job. I will leave you to it.” He swept away, his cape rustling along the concrete.

Logan watched him leave, a strange feeling in his throat. He should be feeling victorious, but all he could feel was a hollow emptiness.

He shook his head, however inaccurate the snake’s information may be, he still had to be on the lookout.

Janus claimed there would be a deal going down between the top hitman of their city and a corrupt official. The corrupt official was a little harder to deal with, they couldn’t exactly punch him out of office, but they had been trying to catch the hitman for a while now.

Known only by his moniker of Ghost, he had assassinated many important people and his actions were at the heart of most of the political turmoil of the city.

They hoped that if they got rid of ghosts, politicians would try to actually try to solve their problems diplomatically, instead of just assassinating their rivals.

An idle hope in Logan’s opinion but Patton had good faith in it.

Whether that worked out or not, Ghost had at least 5 accounts of murder to his name.

Ghost was a successful assassin but Logan’s analysis of his fighting style told him he usually used a sniper or other long ranged weapons.

As long as Logan managed to get in close enough, he should be able to take him out easy enough. The official would probably go running as soon as he saw Logan.

Logan sat on the docks for what felt like hours, feeling antsy. The conversation with Janus kept running through his mind.

It was probably this distraction that made that he didn’t notice the sound of fighting on the docks at first. The sound of a gunshot startled him out of his musings.

“Shit.” He breathed and took off towards the noise.

Ghost stood next to the water, a gun in his hand and a twisted smile on his lips. He turned slowly as Logan rounded the corner.

Logan scanned the area, trying to locate whoever Ghost had been fighting, but he saw no one.

“You’re just too late, kid.” Ghost drawled.

“Too late for what? You’re still here.”

“Sure you’re not missing something?”

“I can assure you, I have everything I need. Now can we end this pointless conversation so I can put you where you belong?” Logan was beginning to feel frustrated, he had no idea what the assassin was talking about.

“Oh well, I’d love to, but I’m not sure how your friend would feel about that. I reckon he’s starting to feel a bit cold by now.” Ghost gestured at the water.

Friend? Cold? Logan stared at the water and flicked on his infrared detector. His breath caught as down in the water, the scanner picked up the shape of a body. A body that was rapidly losing warmth.

He moved towards the water but then realized he had almost forgotten the other person standing on the dock.

The person in question was leaning against a pole, a smug smirk on his lips.

“Woops, seems like you have to make a choice.”

Logan nearly groaned in frustration. This was the perfect opportunity to catch Ghost, everything had been planned out. After this, Janus’s source would be compromised and they would probably never get this close to the assassin again.

But this wasn’t even a choice. Logan would not just let Janus drown.

He turned away from Ghost and stripped off his cloak. Ghost slipped away into the night behind him.

Carefully, Logan lowered himself into the water. He had been lectured enough about cold shock and hypothermia by Roman that knew not to just jump into the water. As much as every cell in his body was screaming at him to get to Janus as fast as possible.

Once he felt his body had been acclimated well enough, he submerged himself, taking care not to lose the figure on the infrared detector.

The water was ice cold and Logan felt it cut off his breathing. He wondered how long Janus had been in the water for.

As far as he saw, he wasn’t moving. Just drifting at the bottom of the, luckily, shallow harbour.

With one last gulp of air, Logan dove down. He grabbed Janus, struggling a little to wrap his arms around him. He could feel his extremities getting numb already. He pushed himself up from the bottom and kicked upwards.

Logan broke the surface with a gasp, drinking in a lungful of frigid air. Janus stayed unresponsive in his arms and Logan had the chilling suspicion he hadn’t taken a breath.

He swam to the shore as fast as he could. For every moment Janus didn’t move, Logan felt the sinking feeling in his gut deepen.

He managed to drag Janus out of the water with some difficulty. The cold was already taking its toll on his body.

He turned the other man on his side, making him expel the water from his lungs. He watched his chest, straining to see any type of movement there.

“Come on Janus, Pat will kill me if I let you die.” He said, sounding more choked than he was willing to admit. It was probably the cold.

Janus didn’t reply, of course he didn’t, even if he was breathing, he was too out of it to register what he was saying.

How he wished Roman was here.

Logan thought he saw a slight rise of Janus’s chest and he bent forward, trying to see it clearer. Another soft rise of his chest and a soft puff of breath against his cheek made the iron vice around his chest loosen a bit.

They weren’t in the clear yet, but at least he was breathing.

What was the next thing he should be thinking about?

Right, contacting the others, that was the most obvious next step now. And getting him warm, the water was ice cold and hypothermia was dangerous.

He switched on his comms first.

“Prince? I need assistance on the docks. Janus fell into the water, he’s breathing but his core temperature is low.” He reported clinically, trying not to sound like he was on the verge of a panic attack, that really was more Virgil’s speciality.

“Is his breathing regular? How is his heartbeat?” Roman’s voice came in immediately.

“They’re both stable. He’s fine for now but he needs treatment for hypothermia and cold shock as fast as possible.”

“Right, I’m on my way. Try to keep him as warm as possible. ETA is about 10 minutes.” With that Roman signed off, presumably to focus on racing through the streets at a frankly heartstopping pace.

Logan remembered his cloak, which he had shrugged off before following Janus into the water. With a worried glance and a quick check to make sure his breathing was still regular, he dashed off to find it.

Once he returned with the cloak securely clutched to his chest, he first dragged Janus to a slightly more secluded area of the docks.

He knew Roman would be able to find them because of the trackers in their gear, and he didn’t want to strip Janus right out in the open. He had a feeling Janus wouldn’t appreciate that.

He managed to wrangle him out of his cape and shirt, cursing the fiddly latches. Then he quickly wrapped him up in his cloak, tucking it closely around him so no cold air could get in.

Janus needed more than passive reheating, he was barely producing any body heat on his own and would need an outside source of warmth.

Logan sighed. He really would rather avoid this, knowing how the others would probably hold this over him for months.

Still, he had a job to do and however complicated his relationship with Janus was, he had to help him. It was his duty as a hero, and a friend.

He gently maneuvered Janus so he was leaning against his chest and wrapped his arms securely around the other. His cloak was waterproof, so even though Logan was still soaking, Janus shouldn’t get too wet.

He leaned back against a wall, keeping an eye on the surroundings while staying focused on Janus’s breathing.

He waited, Janus’s soft breaths moving against his chest.

He must have drifted off slightly, because he startled at the sound of a voice.

“Well, that’s just precious.”

Roman was leaning against the wall, looking like he was filing Logan’s position away for future blackmail material.

Logan scowled.

“That was more than 10 minutes.”

“Sorry love, traffic was hell.”

“Like you’d let that slow you down.”

Roman just smirked and then turned to Janus, his smile making place for a worried expression.

He checked his pulse and breathing with practiced motions and then lifted him out of Logan’s arms.

They felt strangely empty without the weight.

Logan curled up on the couch, drinking from a cup of warming tea Roman had pressed into his hands.

He could hear Roman bustling around in the small med bay. He had offered his assistance but Roman had shooed him out with the instructions to take care of himself first.

Logan tried to ignore the nervous fluttering in his belly. Janus had been stable when they had brought him in and Roman was an expert nurse, he would be alright.

Finally, Roman popped his head around the corner.

“You can come in now, I can feel your worry all the way from the other room.”

“I’m not worried.”

“Right.”

Logan entered the room. Janus was sitting up in the bed, looking tired and washed out, but at least not as pale and lifeless as when Logan had pulled him out of the water.

“Hi.” Janus croaked. He fidgeted awkwardly.

“Hello.” Logan replied.

An awkward silence filled the room.

“Thank you.” Janus eventually whispered, not meeting Logan’s eyes.

“I was just doing my job.” Logan tried to brush him off.

“Oh yeah? Does your job include saving villains?”

“My job includes saving everyone. And, I may have been a little harsh. I don’t think you’re truly a bad person. I’m just not entirely sure of your motivations yet. I just want to keep my friends safe. I know the dangers of trusting people too easily.”

Janus looked at him in surprise, noticing the way Logan’s voice wavered slightly on the last line.

Logan didn’t meet his eyes.

“Well, I understand. It’s unfair of me to expect you to trust me after all I’ve done. I just hope that with time, I can prove to you that you can trust me and I really do mean well.”

Logan nodded.

“I hope so too.”

Janus smiled at him and Logan definitely didn’t feel like his stomach was doing cartwheels.

[vaire-gwir]

Some Cat and Wolf fanfic I had in mind pt.5

oh look, another chapter no one asked for! For some reason this story looks like a collection of one shot poorly glued together, but technically (”if you have to use the word technically you’re already in trouble” Cit.) I know where I’m going. 

I kept hinting at a very specific scar I think Aiden has, so here’s the story of that scar. Awkward love confession ensues. 

All my love to everyone that reads this mess, please let me know what you think! <3

***

They were hunting a wyvern, somewhere outside Sodden. 700 crowns had been promised for the head of the beast. Well,  just the poison, to be honest, but the point was that the creature had to die.  It was their last job before heading north and eventually parting for winter.

They'll never get that far.

Killing any wyvern-like monster is complicated business, those fuckers are huge and sharp just about everywhere, not to mention poisonous. When they manage to dispose of the creature without any severe accident it doesn't feel right for some reason, call it Witcher senses or however you want, but things don't add up. Lambert can still hear Aiden's voice telling him that it's too many corpses for just one beast.

He grits his teeth when he hears a growl immediately followed by the sound of rustling trees and claws scraping on stone. He looks to his left at the Cat exploring the northern side of the cave and Aiden is staring right back at him, he gracefully waves a hand in the general direction of the sound and put on his best I Told You So attitude: there will be snarky remarks about this later but he kindly spares him the comments, for now.

Suddenly, there's nothing graceful about the way he tumbles to the ground, red seeping through the blue and black of his armor like sand in a child's hand. He's running to Aiden's side in a heartbeat, that's all it takes for panic to fill his system like the stench of blood fills his senses. He sees the armor pierced where the tail of the beast tore through the plates and they both know that whatever can dig through metal like that can also do an awful lot of damage to the flesh and bones underneath. Lambert already knows that something is very wrong.

He falls to the ground next to his Cat and he desperately clutches his body, catching the sweetly sick trace of poison still lingering in the air: one look at the wound is enough for his fear to spike and eat him up whole. It's too much blood even for a Witcher.

"Aiden?" Lambert's voice is shaking like his hands as he brushes a few locks of damp curls out of his lover's forehead, feeling the familiar beating sound of his heart growing even slower than usual.

Aiden blinks a couple of times, pain coursing through his entire body and stealing his breath away as he tries to speak. "That...ugly, uh?" Lambert can barely hear his whisper above the noise of the beast outside, the growling so loud it almost rivals the thumping of his own frightened heart echoing in his ears. He reaches for a vial of White Honey while he keeps an eye on the pale form in his arms.

"Just...drink this, alright? I'll...I'll fix this, I can fix this, just...hang on for me,  okay?" He supports Aiden up while he helps him drink the potion, helplessness and desperation washing over him in dark waves as all he can do is stare at the blood staining his clothes and dripping to the floor. Lambert tightens his grip on the Cat's shoulders as if holding him was his only way to keep him whole, to not let him slip away from him.

He can see it on Aiden's face that it hurts to breathe, his eyes are clouded and unfocused and he feels as if a cold hand was squeezing his own heart in an iron grip. 

"Lambert, you don't have to..."  His whole body tenses up, green eyes go wide for a second before fluttering close against the rising pain and shock of the poison.

"Aiden?" He tentatively calls him again but there's no answer this time. Witchers may be strong and powerful, but so is the wyvern's poison, and not many live to tell the tale. An unfamiliar ache climbs inside him and he tries to blink burning tears away from his eyes as he carefully lays Aiden back down.

Lambert can hear the monster above them digging his sharp talons in the stone on the side of the mountain, and his senses are telling him to focus, to move, to prepare for the fight, but all he can do is stare at Aiden's pale complexion, too grey and ashy even for a witcher. There's a part of his mind spiraling into fear and shutting down cause Aiden could die, Aiden is wounded and he doesn't know how to fix it, he doesn't know how to help him, and why I never know how to fix anything?

He tentatively takes another look at the wound, moving the damaged pieces of the armor aside, exposing the torn blue fabric and skin underneath. The potion is reducing the blood flow but it's a slow process with a gash that deep. The broken sound of pain Aiden makes is like a punch in his guts and the only thing he has to offer in consolation is a pathetic string of whispered "I'm sorry"s.  

Lambert digs through his own pack in search of clean bandages to wrap around Aiden's chest while the noise around them grows with every passing second. If the growling and screeching of the beast is any indication, it must be massive. And they unintentionally made it furious because they killed its mate. 

Lambert is frantically looking around searching for shelter but he knows there's nowhere to hide in the cavern. The cave is bare except for the opening on the north, where the sharp tail came lashing out before. Going outside is out of the question, Aiden already lost too much blood and he doesn't dare to move him, but they're too exposed here.

The dark tail of the wyvern whipping out again distracts him from his panic and it's enough for him to focus on the task ahead. His only chance of saving Aiden is keeping this thing out of the cave. He is willing to make peace with the fact that this is where he dies, in a godsforsaken corner of the world where his life is worth exactly 700 crowns, but he's not ready to resign Aiden to the same fate.

Lambert cuts the rest of the blue shirt open and securely ties the bandages over the wound. Their packs are well within Aiden's reach, pouch with their potions already open for when he wakes up, if he wakes up, there should be enough White Honey for him to at least drag himself back to their horses and into town. It's a plan, it's a shitty plan, but it's his best chance at keeping the man he loves alive. It will have to be enough.

***

There's a deep ache in his bones and his left side is scraped and bruised but he wastes no time thinking about it. It was a sloppy job, not his best witcher work but it's done, and for reasons beyond his comprehension, he's still alive.

When he stumbles back into the cave and to Aiden, the Cat is barely breathing and he looks a fraction closer to death with every exhale. He can't smell any lingering traces of poison, though he's not really in the position to call it progress, considering that there's still a hole the size of his hand just beneath Aiden's ribs and he saw the white of the bone with every breath while he was bandaging him earlier. Earlier seems a lifetime ago now.

Lambert starts to slowly take off the rest of the armor, trying to jostle the unconscious Witcher as little as possible. He makes quick work of the familiar buckles and clasps he learned to know, for he has undressed him so many times before, desperate to feel the warm skin under his hands or taking his sweet time and taking him apart. Never like this though, never with the dark cloud of death looming dangerously over his head.

The only sound out of Aiden's lips is a muffled groan when he cuts the bandages open to swipe a wet cloth around the gash, and the rational side of him knows it's better if Aiden doesn't wake up in the next minutes cause cleaning and stitching a wound that size is not something anyone would want to go through awake. His rational side though is not enough to stop him from thinking the worst, and he wants nothing more than to glance into the piercing green eyes he loves once again.

He cleans the edges of the cut again before picking up the needle and thread, willing his hands to stop shaking as he starts to slowly close the wound, focusing on the repetitive moves to calm his mind. His entire self is focused on one single thought: Aiden is dying. And in rapid succession, he's everything I have.

It's not the first time he patches Aiden up. Part of the reason why they know each other's scars so well, physical and not, is because they stitched them up themselves, bruised skin and broken spirits alike. The physical ones were less complicated though, it's easier to check the progress of healing when you can see new skin blooming under an injury. Being a Witcher sped up the process by a lot, so in two days a deep claw mark across a forearm would be like new, but mutations or not, no one knows how long it takes for a damaged mind to bloom anew over the past suffering.

-

The night is endless, and the darkness trickles away at such a slow pace that it seems the sun forgot to rise. The Wolf doesn't even try to sleep, he sits by the fire with his back against the wall, cleaning and sharpening his swords with his eyes lost in the dancing flames.  

It physically hurts him to keep staring at Aiden. He looks like he's sleeping but Lambert knows it's all wrong: it's not natural how still he is, how he doesn't even flinch once, his eyelids are not fluttering like when he's dreaming, his breathing is not regular like it should be when he's resting after a hunt or they're curling up in a patch of sunlight-warm grass, and the beating of his heart, the sound that lulled him to sleep so many times, falters in a disturbing rhythm.

Lambert doesn't remember being this scared in his entire life. Sure, there was fear during the trials, it was a different kind though, he was just a kid back then. A couple of times he came back from a job badly wounded and almost out of potions and he knew he was tiptoeing dangerously close to the end of the Path, but losing his life didn't scare him. There was not much to lose, to begin with. Sometimes it even sounded like a relief, no more Witcher bullshit, about fucking time.

But he was not the one bleeding in a cave, it was not his miserable life on the line here. This was different, he was losing something important now, something that mattered, something he needed. He couldn't lose Aiden.

There is a word for this mess inside of him, for the sharp twist in his heart he has been feeling every time he sees Aiden's crooked smile but it's out of reach for someone like him. He tried to ignore it and shove it away, pretending it was not there and acting as if they were no more than friends with the benefit of sex and watching each other's back during hunts. And it was already more than he should hope for, surely more than he deserved.

If he allows himself to believe that he can have something nice, that he can feel something more than rage just for once, there will be a price to pay. Not with gold, but with the suffering and the loneliness left behind after your friends or loved ones are gone. Life on the Path was solitary for a reason, it was nothing short of presumptuous of him to let himself get close to someone. It was a delusion he already entertained, and one he promised he wouldn't do again. He is not made for love, and he is surely not made to be loved.

Lambert can easily imagine his brothers' reaction if they were ever to meet Aiden and find out they've been together. He can feel the disapproval and rejection radiating off of them as if they were right here in front of him. And worst of all, he can see the disappointment in Vesemir's eyes crystal clear. You will bump into other Witchers on the Path occasionally, the old man said, most of them will even welcome the company, Griffins and Bear especially. But you stay the hell away from Cats and Vipers, they'd kill their own brothers for the right price, don't think they wouldn't kill another Witcher just for fun. Aiden didn’t kill people though, but that makes for a very poor argument.

Will they kick him out of Kaer Morhen before or after he explains? Will they avoid him every time they meet on the Path, pretend they don't know him, act as if he's already dead? He's always been the resident School of the Wolf failure after all, the thought of his family's refusal scares him, but it won't be a surprise.

What scares him even more than his family's reaction though is Aiden leaving. It's some kind of miracle that he hasn't left already, and to be fair, Lambert expects him to go every single time they reach a city big enough to offer employment to the both of them.

If he stayed until now it was just because it was a suitable agreement, more hunts, more coins, fewer expenses, and awesome sex. Love was not part of the deal. Aiden could always go back to the Caravan, ditch him, and pick a different lover in every new town. It's a mystery why he hasn't done that yet. Why would he ever stay? He's hardly worth the trouble.

Aiden's pained groan shakes him out of his thoughts. As he lets go of the last of his knives, he turns to look at the stirring form a few paces away. He's met with the reassuring green of his eyes, a little bloodshot and tired, but very much alive. It's more than what he dared to hope a few hours ago.

Aiden looks down his chest at the red-stained bandages, his mind filling the blanks of what must have happened after the wyvern got him, before whispering: "You patched me up pretty good, uh?"

Lambert doesn't answer, the surge of relief flooding him overwhelms him for a second. He shouldn't care this much, but he does. Dammit, he does. "Well, I have another scar for my collection. Did you kill it?" Lambert makes a vaguely affirmative sound and points to a set of vials with a sleek blueish liquid inside. Their 700 crowns of poison, that's how valuable their life is.

Aiden slowly sits up, taking in their surroundings. "Seems I was pretty useless for the main action." He stares at Lambert, yellow eyes trained to the fire, and lets go of an exasperated sigh. He can feel that something is off because the Wolf seems determined to avoid looking at him.

"Lambert, talk to me, will you? Did you stitch me just to ignore me?" Aiden's voice is quiet in the cave, just a whisper over the fire, and Lambert almost wants to pretend he didn't hear it. He has nothing to say, nothing he can say. Because he has too much to say, and he's worried that if he starts talking he'll spill something stupid.

"You died," he finally breaths out. "I saw you...passing out...and...and you were...." Lambert signs at his chest as if that explains it all, unable to find the words to justify the urgency in his voice. "...Dead, and I...I didn't know what to do."

"I'm fine!" Aiden moves closer to where the other is sitting by the fire. He didn't miss the shiver in his tone. He lays a hand on his knee, squeezing it in a way that was meant to be reassuring, but it only makes Lambert think about how much he'd miss his touches, how much he'd miss his eyes, and his voice, and his smile, and all the little things he forces himself not to think about.

"I'm fine Wolf. You killed the wyvern and harvested the poison, you did everything right." He pats the dressing wrapped around his torso like it's no big deal and Lambert wants to scream at him or throw something at him, maybe both, cause he shouldn't be this easygoing and calm, not after he almost died and Lambert feels like his whole world has turned upside-down.

He moves his hand to cover the one on his leg, a sudden need to reach out, to touch, to feel that Aiden is really alive and he's not just dreaming, but he lets it drop back in his lap after a second, he doesn't dare to touch him back, not yet. "I didn't know what to do without you," he whispers lowering his eyes.

"It doesn't look like you needed my help at all, I was pretty passed out."  Aiden starts picking at the bandages, slowly untying them, and Lambert looks at him out of the corner of his eyes, the ghost of his touch still lingering on his leg and he realizes that he's screwed.

"That's...you know what, nevermind." Totally screwed. Not only he was stupid enough to fall for someone, but it also had to be this Cat, someone he can't have. It had to be someone he so obviously doesn't deserve.

"Are you trying to say you'd miss me? I'm flattered Wolf," Aiden says as he raises his eyes to meet the yellow ones with a little smirk on his lips.

"Unbearable, that's what you are. And to think I even stitched you up." This, Lambert knows how to do this. It's easy to pretend nothing changed if he doesn't let himself think about it. Crushes disappear with time, with a little bit of luck he'll manage to avoid saying something utterly ridiculous like I love you.

"Oh come on, you love me! And, I'm a great fuck." "I do....Fuck, I meant you are." Dammit. He wants to run as far as his legs will carry him, cause he fucked up, he fucked up so bad now, and he's not sure he'll ever be able to look Aiden in the eyes again. He shouldn't have said that, why in the world would any sane person ever say something stupid like that?

Aiden drops the bandages he's holding and looks up at Lambert, pupils wide and swallowing the sea of sparkling green around them. Aiden's eyes always seem to be able to pierce a hole in his soul and see past whatever mask or cover he wears, sometimes he's just nice enough to not call Lambert out on his bullshit.

"Shit, I didn't mean..." This is not how it's supposed to go, they don't say things like that, they're supposed to bicker until one of them grows tired of the game and either stop answering or push the other against the first flat surface available.

"Don't you dare take it back now." Aiden's voice sounds deeper, and there's no trace of the rejection or disgust Lambert was expecting. He moves too quickly and he sits right in front of him, so close to his stretched legs that he can feel the heat of his skin underneath his trousers. Stupid Cat habit of always being in his personal space. He can't think when he's so close.

"I won't hear it if you take it back now," Aiden says, there is a trace of something in his tone that Lamber heard before, but he's suddenly very conscious of how beautiful Aiden looks, and he can't place it. Nobody should look so fine after almost dying.  How someone so gorgeous could ever feel something for him?

"I thought you were never going to say it." Lambert surprisingly finds himself with an armful of Cat, arms wrapped around his shoulders and chest pressed against his, he's whispering something Lambert doesn't catch, and all he can do is stare in front of him in disbelief. He's desperately trying to make sense of Aiden's words, why he's holding him instead of pushing him away and leaving, but his mind is a blank slate.

It's hard to think about running away when Aiden's scent is all around him, and the rhythm of his heartbeat is back to the normal comforting sound Lambert is used to. Instead, he brings his shaking hands around Aiden's waist, gingerly touching him like he was afraid to break him. "I...You died and...I...Can't lose you." It just feels right to have Aiden in his arms and it's so easy to get lost in him and pretend the real world is not waiting for them just outside this cave.

"I know, Lambert, I know. I love you too." Aiden's breath tickles the side of his neck, and he knows it must be obvious to the Cat how his heart rate is spiking, rushing to keep up with the confusion in his head.

"You...You what?" Lambert asks, and his voice is shaking. "It's a mystery how you never noticed, honestly." He feels Aiden's smile against his skin while one of his hands trails to the back of his neck, fingers curling at the nape.

"Why?" Aiden doesn't answer, he moves back enough to bring their lips together, a soft purr rumbling in his chest. This can't be real. He'll wake up in a second or two in their bed at the inn and none of this will be real. None of this can ever be real.

Aiden breaks the kiss just to whisper "Why not?" against his mouth, sharing the same breath for a second before tangling his hand in the dark hair, licking Lambert's lips and demanding entrance. The only thing better than holding Aiden is kissing him, and Lambert can feel the naked skin under his palms so blessedly warm and alive, and he's reminded in an instant of what brought them here. Did Aiden say he loved him too? A low moan involuntarily escapes his throat, and all he can focus on is the feeling of his lover's tongue moving against his own.

When they break apart to catch their breath he can't help but splutter out the burning question he can't swallow: "You should be miles away from here." Aiden looks at him, one hand gently brushing his cheek, the touch of his fingers a real presence anchoring him to reality. "But I'm still here."

"I'll hurt you, you know me...I'm not good at this." Lambert gestures vaguely at the space between them as if it held the confused shape of his feelings and he was trying to give it some definition. If he could be ashamed, he'd probably be blushing to the roots of his hair.   "I know. So will I. And I'll forgive you. As I hope you'll forgive me." Aiden presses another kiss to his lips, just a small touch of warmth. And just this once, Lambert believes him. Cause why not, right?

***

Lambert is leaving Toussaint tomorrow and he can't help but think back to the main events that brought him here years ago. Everything is different now. He swore he'd do his best and more to never feel the same dread he felt after that nasty business with the wyverns, but it was not enough.

His room at the inn is unbearably hot in the mid-summer afternoon and he's almost glad to head back north. He heard of a griffin contract south of Temeria, he can make it in a week or so if he travels fast. He glances out of the window and down to the street, the white cat he saw before is still sleeping on the chair just outside the bakery. If the small animal were to wake up, Lambert could see again how green its eyes were. The baker doesn't have a cat, of course, he doesn't, never had, Lambert already asked.

Seven. That's how many times his miserable brain decided that it would be so much fun to play tricks on his eyes and convince him there was a cat. Seven animals. Different colours, different types, different places, but always the same pair of green eyes. He should consider seeing a healer at some point. Maybe he's been cursed. Or maybe he's been haunted. The hunter being hunted by a monster he can’t slay, how fitting.

Time seems to pass in such a weird way lately, the days all have the same colours and the same scent of melancholy and sadness. Summer was Aiden's favourite time of the year, it made him all soft and relaxed in a way that made even Lambert feeling warmer for more reasons than just the weather.

He never liked summers. Nothing fun about wearing and armor when you're sweating all the time. That's what he always thought, or at least until he saw Aiden comfortably napping under the sunlight, all sprawled out in the grass and purring contently, his skin was hot to the touch and as much as Lambert didn't want to disturb him, he was irresistible.

He has so many memories of sunny days spent fucking on river banks, napping in the shade of a great tree, or cuddling in a cheap room rented for a few coins until sunset, when they could start traveling again unbothered. Yeah, summer was not so bad after all. Or maybe it was just being with Aiden that made things better.

Someone once told him that sweet memories could help a person through dark times. Lambert wants to find that someone and punch him in the face several times cause no, it doesn’t work like that. His memories were not helping or making him feel better, they were making him go crazy and he’d rather tear them right out of his mind one by one than spend another night thinking about Aiden or other cats with green eyes.

That's a lie. He could never live without those memories now, they are part of the baggage that makes up his life, and sometimes it's a heavy burden to shoulder, but forgetting sounds even worse than carrying that weight around. It happened, he loved someone and it was real, he was more than a monster in someone else's eyes and that was worth the pain.

[buckysdolls]

Chapter 5

Fel’s POV-

“Bucky don’t walk away from me! James! James!” I shouted hot on Bucky’s heels as he walked down the hallway. Tony had F.R.I.D.A.Y call everyone into the living room for a meeting. I stopped in my tracks as Bucky had slammed the door shut before I could enter. I scoffed at his immaturity, why was he being so off with me? He had ignored my attempts to talk and wouldn’t make any eye contact with me at all. As soon as Tony summoned us I was at Bucky’s door waiting for him to come but he just carried on as if I weren’t there. In the same moment Sam appeared next to me, wide eyed and thinned lips.

“I was going to go in an annoy birdbrain. I think I’ll wait a little while.” I sighed heavy and pouted my lips.

“What’s up with him Fel?” Sam asked, we continued to walk up to the door which he opened for me letting me enter first.

“Such a gentleman!” I yelled out on purpose to capture Bucky’s attention, he scrunched up his face

“Real mature” I muttered under my breath. Sam and I continued to walk to other side of the living room slumping back in our seats.

“He’s been off with me ever since the other night at the club. He mentioned he didn’t like anyone else touching me except him. He hasn’t spoken to me since. And quite frankly its R.U.D.E” I emphasised the words ‘rude’ giving daggers to Bucky, so he knew it was aimed at him. Once again Bucky mocked me this time with an eye roll.

“He finally told you huh?” Sam said rather chipper with a big grin forming on his face as he looked at me, I responded with a puzzled look.

“Told me what Sam?” I whispered gripping onto Sam’s arm.

“How the big doofus feels about you. Or did he not mention that?” Sam quietly responded rushing the latter part of the sentence as his big grin faded his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape.

“What do you mean?” I shot up in my seat still holding onto Sam’s arm, Sam took a glance at my arms before picking it off him and placing it over his shoulder bringing me into him, I knew Bucky was observing us and Sam was doing this to annoy him. I smacked Sam’s chest as hard as I could before removing my arms and chuckling.

“Don’t aggravate him even more Sam!” I muttered trying to disguise my laughter at Sam being an idiot as Tony entered the living room.

“Due to our recent success, thanks to our wonderful Felicity and the rest of the team, I’m throwing a party tonight! Lot’s of drink, dancing and fun.”

“A Stark party is music to my ears” Natasha declared clapping her hands together. I watched as everyone cracked smiles at Tony’s announcement, except I had to work which was a bummer. I slowly raised my hand signalling I wanted to speak.

“Sweet Fel, what it is?”

“I’m afraid I have to work tonight. Friday’s are my late shifts”

“Nope, not today. I had F.R.I.D.A.Y reschedule your appointment and work commitments.”  Everyone dispersed, I watched as Bucky approached Tony asking if any missions were available. Much to my pleasure Tony declared there were non and he should go punch a gym bag if he need to release some steam. I nodded at Tony to say thank you for sorting it for me and allowing me to attend the party. I’d moved over to the sofa and flicked through my social media seeing as my workday was over, Sam jumped over the sofa and plonked himself next to me handing me a can of Cola.

“Thanks”

“No problem Fel. So, a party huh, your opportunity to get drunk and spill all your feelings to Bucky!”

I coughed at Sam’s comment spitting out the drink I had just taken a swig of.

“I am a responsible young lady Sam. One’s days of getting incredibly drunk are over” I mocked giving myself a posh accent holding my can of cola with the pinky finger extended.

“You’re going to get wasted aren’t you” Sam sighed, shaking his head as I nodded my head smiling.

“Absolutely”

“You surprise me everyday”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re full of surprises. First your talent of listening to a bunch of misfits. Secondly your impeccable skills in the gym and now you’re a secret party animal!” Sam counted each one on his fingers.

“Well, it’s not everyday you get invited to a Stark party” Sam nodded in agreement and began to mumble under his breath.

“No wonder Bucky loves you”

“What did you just say”

“What I said was… no…wonder… Bucky…” I raised my eyebrows at Sam who was rubbing his lips and speaking so slowly trying to figure out what he could say to cover up what he said. My impatient ass interrupted Sam knowing exactly what he’d said.

“You said… no wonder Bucky loves me”

“I said that!?” Sam acted surprised pointing to him and then dramatically looking over his shoulders.

“I need to take a shot” I walked away to the liquor cabinet and gasped trying to comprehend what Sam had just let slip. Inside my stomach was doing flips, it felt like fireworks were exploding. The feeling in my gut telling me there was something between Bucky and I from the moment I saw him in the doorway was right. Suddenly the cogs in my braid began to work as I realised why Bucky didn’t want me on the previous mission and then what he meant about nobody else touching me. I needed to get so drunk to be able to deal with this and have the confidence to address this if it was all true.

 Later

“Brainbird! Heads up tonight.” Sam spoke as he adjusted his bowtie catching Bucky’s attention as he slicked his hair back.

“I may… or may not… have told Fel you’re in love with her.”

Bucky closed his eyes for a second and tilting his head processing Sam’s words. “You did what?”

“I did say may not have!” Sam pointed out shaking his finger in Bucky’s face. Sam tried to adjust Bucky’s tie in an attempt to change the subject.

“You did tell her didn’t you?” Bucky asked looking down at Sam.

Sam simply nodded slowly, pursing his lips waiting for Bucky’s reaction. Bucky slapped Sam’s hand away from his tie and slumping his head in his hands

“Shit!” Bucky muttered; Sam quickly took off running from Bucky’s room.

At the Party

I sat at the bar in Stark tower, the music was pumping, the drink was flowing generously and the chatter amongst the attendees created the perfect party vibe. I was mildly tipsy and enjoying people waching. I searched the room, Nat and Banner were flirting with each other at the other end of the bar which made me incredibly happy to see them together enjoying each other’s happiness. Thor, Sam, Bucky, and Steve conversed looking deep in conversation, probably stroking their own egos discussing who was the strongest Avenger. I looked over to the elevator when my ex-boyfriend stepped out, with another man next to him. They both stood behind another man.

“Fuck!” I mumbled to myself, downing the contents of my drink, plus the person’s drink who was standing next to me at the bar. I stood up adjusting my dress, I was wearing a tight baby pink mini dress, the thin straps crossed at the back, and a side split that would ride my dress up, pulling down at the hem of my dress and composing myself I quickly slid out of shot of my ex and creeped over to the group where Bucky was.

“Darling Felicity! You look most ravishing tonight!” Thor yelled out holding out his arms clearly drunk, I gave Thor a quick smile that probably looked sarcastic, but I had not time for Thor’s flirtations. Motioning with my head and wiggling my finger at Bucky to follow me he picked up his whiskey, adjusted his blazer and excused himself from the guys following me over to the corner of the room.

“Are you done ignoring me?”

“Huh” Bucky grunted, looking as if he wanted to be with anyone except me. I huffed and knocked back the rest of Bucky’s drink. He looked confused but oddly impressed, smirking as I put the glass down and wiped my mouth.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend” I blurted out, pulling the most sour face as the taste of Bucky’s whiskey burned my throat.

“What if I don’t want to just pretend?”

“What?” Did I just hear that correctly? Before I could even comprehend what Bucky had said the annoying voice of my ex made the hairs on my skin stand up and crawl. I looked up at Bucky searching his eyes for hope he would go along with this plan before turning to face Xander with the fakest smile…as if I were happy to see him.

“Fel! How wonderful to know you’re alive? Dodging my calls for the past 6 months”

“Erm, yeah” I smacked my lips before snaking my arm around Bucky’s waist and settling my hand on his chest. Bucky gently squeezed me; the squeeze reassured me knowing Bucky was playing along.

“I’ve been busy Xander, there’s lots of work to be done”

“Oh yeah? I bet there’s lots of work to do … fucking all The Avengers must be pretty hard work.” Xander spat taking a flute of champagne from a tray as it walked past and smirking. His words shocked me and all I could think about was wiping that smirk off his face.

“Excuse me!” I questioned

“What did you just say to her!” Bucky questioned as he suddenly let go of me and got in Xander’s face. Xander sniggered, sizing up Bucky, knowing he stood no chance in this fight. Bucky’s protectiveness turned me on so much and made me weak, yet I knew I couldn’t allow this to cause a scene, Xander would love it if I got heat in the company.

“Bucky stand down.” I said holding Bucky’s hand pulling him back into me.

“There’s a good boy, do as your told” Xander mocked insinuating Bucky was a dog and gesturing to pat him on the head. Well… what’d ya know, Bucky was angry. Bucky stroked his beard and thinned his lips before raising his metal fist and throwing a punch at Xander, laying him out. Bucky began to climb on top of Xander ready to throw a second punch, thankfully being stopped by Steve who caught Bucky’s hand.  Woah Bucky was so hot when he was angry. My thoughts were distracted as Tony and Xander’s people arrived on the scene.

“What the hell is going on here!” Xander’s boss flipped as he looked at Xander knocked out on the floor. Bucky wiped back the hair from his face that had fallen there from his sudden movement. Stark encouraged everyone to continue enjoying themselves and that there was nothing to see here.

“Bucky! Fel! Hallway now!” Tony calmingly said trying to maintain the light-hearted mood of the party, but deep-down seething inside. We made our way out to the hallway where Tony shoved Bucky to the wall holding him by the collar of his shirt.

“Tony. It was may fault!” I yelled trying to defuse the tension between them, placing a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“His boss is one of my business partners Barnes! You can’t go around throwing punches at the first person who say’s the slightest thing that angers you.” Tony continued to speak retreating from Bucky. I sighed in relief knowing Tony wasn’t going to harm him.

“He was Felicity’s ex-boyfriend and he accused Fel of fucking all of us. I couldn’t stand there and hear him talk shit about her!” Bucky yelled throwing his flesh fist into the wall, it reminded me of the first time I’d met him when he’d punched the countertop in anger. Bucky winced as he traced the cuts that had formed on his knuckles. Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead in exasperation realising Bucky may have had a legitimate reason for his outburst.

“Fel, take Sargent Barnes home.”

“Tony I’m sorry this happened” I whimpered biting the inside of my cheek to control any tears that wanted to fall.

“You have nothing to apologise for Felicity. I’ll make sure he’s delt with accordingly. Please ensure Barnes is seen too” Tony cupped one side of my face smiling sweetly before downing his drink and heading back into the party.

 Back at the compound

The car journey home and ride up in the elevator was silent, Bucky just constantly played with his hands and wincing in pain as he pressed his cuts and bruises that started to form. I walked side by side with Bucky into the kitchen, throwing my bag on the kitchen counter watching as Bucky leaned against the countertop, his roughed-up hair hanging over face. I approached Bucky calmly, reaching for his hand to look at it. Bucky opened his legs, pulling me into his embrace. His hands settling on my hips as they did once before, his read resting on my shoulder. My thoughts returned to Bucky’s hand, I needed to get a damp cloth. I tried to leave Bucky’s grip, but he held on to me tightly refusing he hummed softly inferring that he didn’t want to let go

I chuckled sweetly “Bucky I need to get a damp cloth for your cuts, wipe the blood.” I began to run my finger through his hair which he seemed to like as an occasional moan left his lips.

“I meant what I said Felicity” His words caught me off guard. I stopped playing with the end of his hair, causing him to lift his head up and lock eyes with me.

“I know Bucky”

“I don’t want to just pretend. I don’t want to watch other men putting their filthy paws over you Fel. I can’t take this unspoken tension between us anymore.”

“Hey, Bucky all of that was fake!” Bucky’s hands cupped my cheeks, I leaned into his touch closing my eyes and smiling as I melted.

“You’re so beautiful Fel. I wish you saw you the way I see you” Bucky guided my head to rest on his forehead, our lips were inches apart, I was begging for him to kiss me, biting my lip we locked eyes once more before he placed his lips on me. The kiss started slow and delicate, my stomach exploding with butterflies. The longer we kissed the more lustful it became, Bucky had turned me around and hoisted me up on to the kitchen counter, he had one hand gripping the back of my neck whilst the other roamed up my thigh getting closer to my sweet spot. My hands were lost, gripping onto his hair as I moaned through the excitement as his kisses made its way down my neck and across my collarbone. My dress was low enough for Bucky to be able to place lustful kisses along the top of my cleavage slowly working towards my breasts. I moaned out Bucky’s name in pleasure. Suddenly, I remembered where I was. At work. I stopped Bucky from going further by lifting his head up, allowing us to catch our breath.

“Bucky, this is my workplace. I can’t do this” I sighed knowing all I wanted was Bucky and yet my responsible side took over.

“This is your home Fel.”

I jumped off the kitchen counter creating space between me and Bucky.

“I’m here because of my job. I have to be professional”

“So, what you can’t have life?”

Bucky raised his eyebrows with a smirk as he grabbed my arm pulling me back into him. I couldn’t resist that damn smirk of his.

“You’re hot when you’re angry” I said biting my lip trying to hide my smile.

“You wouldn’t have said that a few years ago if you knew me.” Bucky’s face and tone became serious as he seemed to think about his past.

“If someone spoke those words…”

I cut off Bucky by placing a kiss on his lips knowing he was getting irritated thinking about the past him. Pulling away I reassured him he didn’t have to think of that time.

“We don’t need to talk about that right now Bucky. I know that person wasn’t you. Besides, I only know this version of Bucky and he’s seems like a pretty nice guy… a few anger issues but I can work with that” We both chuckled as I tried to make light of the situation.

“I don’t know what it is Felicity but there’s something about you.”

“That you love?” I questioned, referring to Sam’s earlier slip up as I grabbed a cloth soaking it under tap.

“Hmm, I wondered when that would come up.” Bucky hugged me from behind as he let me wipe the blood away from his injured hand.

“And he calls me the birdbrain” Bucky muttered under his breath, his head snuggled into my neck, his chin resting on my shoulder.

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 2

Ambush on the Sucrosi Road

And we’re back for our first battle episode! Are you feeling trepid my guys, cause I sure am.

You’re Dead and Here’s Your Mini

You’ll remember that, at the end of the episode, the Candia Caravan had stopped in the road because of a fallen tree--the universal fantasy fiction indication for an impending ambush--and Ruby was unceremoniously dropped to zero HP. But don’t worry! Brennan is here with all the missing ceremony at the top of this episode! And by ceremony, I mean we get the most graphic, visceral, bloody description of bodily harm we’ve ever gotten in an episode of D20 as the arrow pierces her neck and she goes unconscious. In her unconscious state, she’s on a trapeze, swinging from one bar to another that seems to be either getting closer or farther away. A voice in the inky black that surrounds her tells her to bring it towards her. We fade out from the vision and that brings us into the combat proper.

So that’s the very chill place this episodes starts.

With Ruby down, everyone else springs into action. Liam does his ranger thing and reveals a hidden enemy--which is like finding a roach in your house: You *know* there’s no such thing as a single roach. Jet tries to snatch Ruby into the carriage but when she loses her grip, she opts to instead threaten Lapin--Heal my sister or I’ll reveal you’re working for the Sugarplum Fairy--and hop on top of the stopped carriage to use herself to shield her sister from any further damage. She also activates the Locket of the Sweetest Heart--a split friendship locket the two of them have which gives advantage on saving throws if the other person is within 5 feet--so she’ll have help on her next death save which happens right away. She gets a success with two 13s, which gives her 1 save, 1 fail (I assume from getting hit by a second arrow--ranged attacks while down count as a fail and melee attacks count as two. Yikes!).

In her mind, Ruby uses Mage Hand to bring the trapeze bar closer to her and, as she does so, she sees a pair of smiling purple eyes and hears a voice say, “You are gifted in the ways of the arcane. It seems that my brother has made quite a family for himself.” Ruby gasps. “Are you my aunt?” The voice tells her to take good care of her bow. She’ll need it.

On Amethar’s turn, he clocks a bunch more hidden archers and hears that they’re speaking Carnish (the meat language) but (and Jet especially notices this because she speaks Carnish) they’re speaking it brokenly and with weird (vaguely French-y) accents. And the arrow that hit Ruby is baconsteel, but the archers look weird. Like, it’s less that they’re made of meat and more like they’re *wearing* meat, and it smells like it’s rotting (which, hey Brennan? Gross). Something’s up.

Amethar, charges out and goes into a rage--pouring cola onto himself and letting the pop rocks of his body explode out (extremely cool flavoring for that), doing 2 points of damage to anyone in the immediate vicinity. Jet, still over Ruby’s unconscious body, narrates this all to her, because Emily Axford never lets a moment for an emotional gut punch go to waste.  

Amethar gets a Nat 20 with his first attack and hits the nearest enemy hard enough to cut through the meat. Underneath, he smells stinking cheese. 

But then, it’s the enemies’ turn and Amethar is absolutely beset. A couple of enemies go after the others’ but five enemies go for him and all hit, bringing him down to less than a third of his HP in one round of combat (down to 10). And they’re not messing around. They are really and truly trying to murder him specifically. 

Thank the Sugarplum Fairy or the Bulb if you prefer that Lapin’s turn is next. He scrambles to the top of the carriage and casts Cure Wounds on Ruby which brings her back to full because first level rogues are so so weak you guys. Lapin goes through the Bulbian motions but Jet, who is closeby, can smell the sugary magic energy from his true patron. She doesn’t much care though since it means Ruby’s back and she promises her silence. Lapin also tosses Amethar a d6 of healing with his bonus action.    

Theobold hits a nat 20 to do a good bit of damage then action surges and casts Compelled Duel with his sword--Battlepop the Broadscicle--to force the Captain of the attackers (who rolls a Nat 1 save) to 1v1 him to take some heat off of the king. 

Ruby and Jet are forced to confront the possibility that Lapin and Theobold might be...cool? Really, all the old dudes this fight are kinda badass--Calroy also hits a nat20 and is kicking ass all fight (also, his pants are on point--I think this is only the second time in d20 pants have ended up being *A Thing* (John Feathers) but that still feels like a lot for *pants*).   

The fight continues! 

Jet fights alongside her super proud dad and does a bunch of damage but doesn’t quite get a killing blow which she blames on Theobold’s refusal to teach her one last episode. The brigands continue to strategically try and take out Amethar and Lapin judiciously uses his precious few heals to let him drop and then bring him back instead of blowing all his heals at once--stressful but effective. Also, Sir Theo comes in clutch and uses his shield--Swirldwarden--to, as a reaction, take one of the attacks that would have F’d him up.

Ruby shoots the leader of the cheese brigands--at this point everyone knows that these are cheese people disguised as meat people--and, spurred on by some new, hazy awareness from her near death experience, uses her once per day grasping arrow (an Arcane Archer ability) to hold the captain in place and make him take damage if he moves. Amethar goes back into a rage after having gone down, teaching us that when he does that, it hits enemies and allies alike. On the baddies’ turn, the captain tries to move and gets obliterated by Ruby’s arrow. This is super clutch, not just because he was going after Amethar, but he also gave +1d4 to all attacks to all of his guys of which there are/were many. 

Amethar goes down again and, on his turn, Lapin heals him, and then wrecks some of the brigands with a very un-Bulbian blast of candy energy, though he continues to insist that it’s all above board. On her turn, Jet gives her half of the locket to her dad in case he drops again (not how it really works since it requires attunement but Brennan allows it this time since it’s her dad). One of the attackers tries to hit Jet but between her once-per-day shield with Flickorice and Theo imposing disadvantage, she’s unscathed. 

Our Daily Bread

You’ll remember from last episode that the caravan was on their way to meet an Imperial escort. Well, they finally show up to help, led by a young Ceresian Centurion Commander (they confirm later it’s the guy they were supposed to have been meeting--Commander Constano Grissini--wonder if him showing up was like an “after x rounds of combat” story event or if it was based on something else). Ruby (very conspicuously) casts Fog Cloud around her dad to try and make it harder for anyone to hit and drop him again. Brennan makes her roll an Insight check and on a 12, tells her nothing which is the most maddening thing a DM can do to you.

With the extra help, they’re able to end the fight pretty quickly after that without any casualties (tiny violins for Brennan because, lbr, the house always eventually wins--it’s only a matter of time before he gets one of them). Theobold wanted to keep one enemy alive for questioning but the Tartguard didn’t quite get the memo and skewered the last guy. Lapin is very suspicious of Grissini but his 23 Insight check tells him this is a straight up guy who would have been ruined if anyone here had died. However, he also notices that Grissini won’t look Ruby in the eye. Calroy quietly comes up to Ruby and tells her that, while she did a good job this fight, things are about to get very complicated and she should be a loooot more careful with any future magic she does. She seems confused by her own abilities and mentions she saw her aunt Lazuli while she was passed out but Calroy shushes her before she says anything else incriminating. It seems we didn’t get the full picture of how frowned upon non-Bulbian magic is outside out Candia. 

Lapin rolls to cover for Ruby with Grissini and says that her magic is Bulbian and Brennan rolls in the Box of Doom to see if he buys it. 10 or higher and he knows something’s up. We don’t get the result (though it *looked* like a 1) but he either buys it or plays along.

Theobald investigates the area (with help from his living sprinkle/dog Sprinkle who I haven’t mentioned before but gives him the help action in battle) but doesn’t find any info they didn't already have. However, he does notice that there aren’t any steeds around, which he interprets to mean they didn’t get there through outlaw means (ie: ride in on your horse, steal a bunch, ride out).  

Calroy pulls aside Lapin and Theobald and says that even though they may have been able to convince Grissini, all of his men also saw Ruby doing forbidden magic and if word gets out it’ll be a problem. They need to make a plan and they need to be very careful about how they tell Amethar because if he finds out they “know how he’ll solve the problem.”

Ominous!      

Things I’m Concerned About

So something I talked about while this episode was happening (and something that Brennan talked about during the talkback afterwards but in slightly different terms) is that the enemy NPC Battle effectiveness has, like, changed from “Saturday Morning Cartoon Minion” to “Art of War Scholar”. No one came into this like, “Let’s have an epic fight!” It was like, “We need to murder one specific guy as quickly as possible.” This isn’t a world where you can spend several rounds trying to jump on tables for cool points. This is a world where you need to be paying full attention even when it’s not your turn and everyone figured that out pretty quick. This is the most tense I’ve ever been during a d20 battle episode and this was only the first one! Amethar--the *Barbarian*--dropped THREE times. He ran out of rages which I didn’t even know was a thing! The fact that everyone made it out of the battle alive was really a miracle! Like, everyone was strategic and played well but if Ruby hadn’t won that Grasping Arrow roll off (Siobhan: I love gambling!), if Lapin hadn’t been perfectly placed in the initiative to feed Amethar heals right after he dropped, if just a couple of things had gone differently, they could have been so screwed. 

Oh, and you know what else? Rezzes don’t exist in this world! Like, I think we all kinda figured but we got confirmation this week on Adventuring Party. It makes total sense. It is absolutely the correct choice for the setting. But, God, does it ratchet up every single round of combat. Every single decision. Every one of Lapin’s limited heals. Like, RIP Zac. What a season to play the party healer. Ally and Lou got off easy. (Note: The Spare the Dying cantrip does exist though at least, which isn’t a powerhouse spell but it’s not nothing).   

I’m concerned about Jet’s flirting! First Thad now this hot Italian breadstick soldier guy? Like, usually I’d be like do you girl but, like, romantic entanglements are a quick way to get in a lot of trouble, up to and including death in a world like this! This is the “actions have consequences” season! 

On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, Liam doesn’t seem to have any interest in romantic entanglements which doesn’t always go over well if you’re a royal. He’s not directly in line for anything important it seems since he had so many older brothers, so maybe he can skate by. But last episode, Caramelinda did seem to be pushing him a little bit in that direction--saying he could get out of exile earlier if he got hitched--and I feel like there’s a good chance this becomes a bigger issue for him.

If we have a false flag attack AND and an attempted assassination in episode TWO, what are we escalating to, huh? Where are we going that that’s where we’re STARTING? 

I could have mentioned this last episode but I’m glad I waited until this episode because it underlines the point even better. I’m *very* concerned about the religious politics of Calorum. In the first episode we got kind of a sense that things were different in Candia versus the rest of the world but this ep it was less of a “sense” and more of a concrete fear that someone was about to start gossiping about having seen Goody Ruby with the devil. And we knew from last episode that Lapin is secretly in league with the Sugarplum Fairy but Brennan used the word heretic in the talkback which feels a *lot* more dire but...yeah, is accurate. Plus, one of the girls’ aunt is St. Citrina, clearly a respected figure in the Bulbian faith, so there’s obviously Lore to unlock there. Look, a lot of going on and none of it feels very chill. Lapin better keep nailing all of his deception checks.  

And, to drill down a little deeper, I’m very concerned that Ruby--who has presumably been told that magic is banned in the rest of the world, decided to illegally cast a spell in front of a ton of people--including Imperials--while loudly shouting “ABRACADABRA!” Like, if her impulse control doesn’t improve, we are gonna have some *issues*. 

You know what I’m concerned about? My continuing relationship with several different food groups if I have to keep hearing graphic descriptions of them fighting each other. I mean, BONES in the CHEESE? *Bones* in the *Cheese*? My forgetting to preheat the oven is the *only* reason I wasn’t eating pizza when I heard that line. And the worst part is, with another DM I’d be like, “They probably didn’t think of the implications.” But this is Brennan so I KNOW he thought of the implications and he was like, “I’M DOING IT ANYWAY.”

Also, while we’re on the implications, I was also concerned--as Theo/Murph was--about Lord Swirly’s (the ice cream Candian) loyalty considering he is dairy (like the cheese brigands) even though he is Candian. Like, there’s a *lot* of overlap in different food types and that feels like it could easily get messy.  

If this fight is an indication, these fights aren’t gonna be balanced to be fair. They’re balanced to be tactically sound--as in, “What would their enemies do to them at this moment?” And, man, I am really dreading the inevitable moment they get hit when they’re down for the first time. Having to start a fight already down to one third of your HP and having already burned through most of your spell slots is so demoralizing but you know it’s gotta happen!  

I share Zac’s concerns about their Imperial allies. When he said, “This is Games of Thrones. It doesn’t mean anything,” I felt that. 

I was reminded of a scene in the trailer which shows what looks to be the PCs in a freezer and now I’m just full of questions like is a freezer a part of a fridge or its own thing? Is it Calorum or is that like the upper part of the map that cuts off? Is it a death-y no man’s land? What’s going on?

So the toughest prof I've ever had was my Constitutional Law professor my 1L year of Law School. She's probably the smartest person I've ever met and so supportive but also super scary. What you need to know about law school grades to understand this story is that they're fake so a B- is like a hard C, a C is like a D, and a D means your professor wants you to die. A professor has to fill out paperwork and justify giving you a D at my school. So we heard a rumor that this professor gave one of her students a D and we were like, "Oh man, even she wouldn't...would she?" So, one day--I think at some kind of event, we're all chilling and we're like, "Professor! Did you *really* give a student a D last year." And she turns to us, glint in her eye, and says, "Who said I only gave out one?" Chills. Absolute chills. Anyway, that is all to say, I'm very much feeling shades of that conversation right now. "Brennan, did you really kill a PC this season?" *Anime Glasses Flash* "Who said I only killed one?"

Lingering Questions

Theobald is an Eldritch Knight, not a Paladin. So he has some magic, but it wouldn’t be Bulbian (unless Brennan flavored it that way). Is he also doing arcane magic on the down low or is there some other mechanism for that? (Sidenote: Glad the cast made the gummi berry juice joke when Murph cast Jump on Amethar so I didn’t have to.) If he is, gotta say, hiding it *way* better than the others. 

Curious about exactly what Liam’s favored enemy is. Cause he was getting the bonus for that during this fight but was it because they were bandits or cheese people or archers or what?

Another quick holdover from last episode: Sir Theo rolled a deception check last ep against Ruby's insight upon seeing the princesses training with their new weapons (Theo won with a 19 to her 17) and Brennan gave us no information so it’s like, what was their deal? Past relationship? Past magical relationship (see first point)? Just concerned Ruby is gonna do something stupid with a magic bow in the world where magic is banned?

Five Six More Things

OK, let’s get the most important thing out of the way...my Candysona would be a Mint Chocolate divine soul sorcerer librarian/researcher. I’m sure ALL of you were wondering.

I really wanna give it up for the crew this episode! The battle set was amazing and the music was so good! Especially Ruby’s quirky circus-y theme. Loved that! Oh and the overlay of all the magical items was very helpful. (Side note: It’s all on the wiki if you wanna see it--I’d link it but tumblr hates when I do that. EDIT: @cloudmancy actually wrote them all up here too so here’s the link). 

There was no way Brennan could have known that Ruby was going to drop immediately when he initially planned the session but using that as kind of a vision quest moment to unlock her magic which she starts fully using after that point for the first time was a very clutch story choice for them.

Murph and Emily sitting next to each other this season is a *gift*.

I cannot imagine having the gall to play a level 1 magic rogue in a world where magic is illegal, people who can hit for more than my hit point total 100% want me dead, and rezzes don’t exist. What a choice. 

If one twin dies...and they have to decide...what to do with the other half of that locket...Brennan…

Housekeeping

Brennan is doing an Answer Time here on tumblr! Get your questions in before the 25th!

Not strictly D20 related but Brennan is also DMing a D&D game with some actual play vets and their kids! Check it out here! 

I can’t believe I failed my word count limit two episodes in on a battle episode that I only had 3 pages of notes for. Bold of me to assume I could tamp down on me. But, plus side, Brennan did say I was valid on stream last week, so I’m gonna say these two things cancel each other out and I am in the clear. 

[capricornus-rex]

The Haunt of Redemption (10)

Sequel to: A Path I Can’t Follow

Chapter 10: Return of the Jedi | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: It has been months since your last encounter with Cal, at that time he was a fledgling Inquisitor. In an ironic twist of fate, you cross paths and blades with him once again, and he’s keen on turning you into an Inquisitor as well—unless you bring him back to the light first.

Tags: Dark Side! Cal Kestis, Inquisitor! Cal Kestis, Redemption Arc! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 | Previous: Chapter 9 | Next: Chapter 11 | Masterlist

10 of 11

Not only did Cal feel the emotions that you allowed him to feel again, you showed him the memories that truly mattered. He was seeing everything in your point of view.

He saw himself—his old self—leaning against the broken wall of the Vault’s outer enclave, staring at the sunset upon Bogano. It was as if he was reliving the memory of his past self—he felt your hand slipping into his, in return, you clutch it back as both of you peered at the suns sinking behind the mesa.

However, your vulnerability allowed him to intrude beyond that line. He found you inside a house that he’s never seen before and he caught a glimpse of the Holocron being hidden away in a box by a pair of hands; before the slip-up could get any worse and expose Obi-Wan with the Holocron, you pushed him out and erected the same wall.

The vision ended and he jerked his hand away at the abrupt jab of light, a deep buzzing sound cracked in his ears as he shifted back into reality. The Grand Inquisitor saw how the Eleventh Brother appear disoriented—surely, he must have gotten some results.

“Well?!”

“I… I saw it… it was being kept away someplace.”

“Where is it? Where is that place?!”

“I… I don’t know…” the boy shuddered.

As he stepped into the light, it terrified you more when he got closer to you. Your lip shivered in fear, goosebumps pelted your skin, and the hairs at the back of your neck stood up. The Grand Inquisitor shoved Cal away and stood eye-to-eye with you.

“I see,” he purred. Then through his jagged, pointed teeth, he hissed. “With the Holocron nowhere to be found, yet the boy claims that you’ve seen its contents, perhaps not all is lost after all.”

“I can see that your overconfidence is your best asset,” you spat.

“Charming,” a sarcastic smile crawled about his lip pale, ivory lips. With a flicking gesture of his fingers, the operator pushed the button and the shock was so sharp that your spine arched against the bed. “You will either tell us what we want to know or you die in this very contraption.”

“Maybe I’ll go with… PISS OFF!”

“Very well,” he sighed, sarcastically rolling his eyes. He abruptly turned to the operator and barked. “Set the voltage level to five!”

Another notch turned, followed by the press of a button. The two conduits hummed as it closed in on your body. As the cold, metal pads pressed against the flesh below your collarbone, the only thing you’re able to do is suck in a huge dollop of air and release a gut-wrenching scream so loud that your throat has gotten dry from all the crying. Your body jerked in response to the high voltage—your knees buckled, your wrist pivoted underneath the cuffs, and the agonizing throes of your body to all sides rattled the machine itself.

The Grand Inquisitor threw his fist in the mid-air, signaling the operator to pause, and interrogated you again. There was a sinister glint in his eyes at the instance of an afterthought.

“You know, there is another proposition that may perhaps be of great benefit for either party,” he sniggered. He didn’t await a reply from you, and so he continued. “Join our ranks, I’ll let you live and you will be of better use to me, far better than that traitorous Jedi, Cere Junda.”

“You don’t know Cere! She is a far better warrior than you could ever be!”

“Such misplaced faith, such misguided strength,” he subtly turned to Cal. “Now, I see why he was so eager to take you in because he told me you’d prove me of something—and I’m beginning to see it just now.”

You glanced over the taller Inquisitor’s shoulder to find Cal, he stood there, his eyes avoided you in the brief second that your gazes met.

“I’m impressed that the Eighth Sister spoke highly of you,” the Pau’an added. “As matter of fact, it’s a first for her! She never really liked competition.”

“Send her my regards then,” you spat.

“So, [y/n], what will it be? Die a ‘noble’ death here or see the true magnitude of your power—something that the Jedi nor your Master was ever able to unravel for you!”

Another shock. Your body is gradually growing numb from the electricity coursing throughout your body, your muscles are now suffering from spasms, your heart rate is three levels above normal—any more and it would get touch the critical level—and your breathing labored as you endure the pain.

“That high pain threshold is quite impressive. Not many can live beyond six,” he sniggered. “Notch the setting to seven!”

“No… NO!!!”

As the level of the shock increases, it went from mild to excruciating. Your muscles sprained due to your thrashing, you could feel your nerves burning at the intensity, every limb in your body jerked and curled at the mercy of the voltage.

“Well, he was right about one thing. You are strong, indeed. I am only keeping you alive because he told me that you can be of use to me.

“CAL… PLEASE!!” you cried out, throwing your head back to release an ear-shattering, painful scream.

The sensation was similar to being burned alive, except this one packed a bigger punch—since electricity consumes the body slower than fire, therefore it causes the victim to suffer for longer while still being partially-alive depending on their pain tolerance.

“What’s it going to be, child?!”

“I am a Jedi…! You can never break me!”

“I often find heroics quite dull,”

The indigo cracks of voltage danced before your eyes, your vision has blurred and you could only make out the colors and the silhouettes of those in the chamber. Cal shirked farther back in the room, he was slowly dissolving into the shadows from your perspective, and your cries of pain mixing with the call of his name were agonizing and stomach-churning.

He averted his eyes, even shut them tight with his hands tucked behind his back, and struggled to ignore your cries for help.

“CAL… HELP ME…!!”

Involuntarily and suddenly, a memory that the two of you shared played before his eyes. He saw you clinging on the edge of a cliff after a Nydak destroyed the stone pillar you used as a stepping stone. Your fingers were digging into the muck but you were slipping away.

“Cal, help me!”

“I got you! Don’t worry, baby… I got you!”

The memory of him running to you, grabbing you on both arms to pull you back up. He catches you in his arms in the final tug and cradled you.

An energy he has been unknowingly piling up was almost too much for him to contain. This energy rooted from all kinds of emotions—hate, pain, and anger.

“No…” he mouthed, his eyelids relaxing but keeping closed.

“HELP ME…!”

The Grand Inquisitor has sensed it, but reacted too late. Cal released perhaps the strongest wave of energy, inflicting Mass Push and Empowered Slow in quick succession on everybody in the room except for you, he switched on BD-1 using the Force and ran to you. While the little droid took a minute to reboot his entire system, Cal unbuckled the restraints as quickly as he can. Your body, limp and exhausted from enduring all that pain, fell away from the machine.

“I got you …!” Cal gasped as he caught you.

“Cal…?” you struggled to open your eyes, a blurry image of his face filled your sight.

“Don’t worry, baby, I got you…! Can you stand?”

You didn’t answer, you struggled to stand and Cal supported you by wrapping your arm around his shoulder. Both of you hobbled away from the machine and to the door. Apparently, the effect of Cal’s abilities against the Grand Inquisitor wore off sooner than the rest.

“YOU WEAK, INSOLENT COWARD!” The Grand Inquisitor bellowed while trying to break free, you and Cal were taken by surprise when you saw the Pau’an flexing and stretching his neck and shoulders.

Knowing he had to think fast, he used the Force to pull your lightsaber resting on the control terminal and handed it over to you; he also found that BD-1’s back to full function.

“BD-1, come on!”

When the little droid saw that Cal was helping you, he made a quick, cheerful chirp and flew towards the both of you with his turbojets and perched onto Cal’s shoulder.

“Yeah, buddy, I got you!” he patted the little droid’s head and it chirped in response.

BD-1 voluntarily popped out a stim for you, which Cal caught in the air and injected right into you, hoping that the substance would help you recover enough strength to fight.

“Here,” Cal hands over your lightsaber. “Can you fight?”

A smirk curled at the corner of your mouth as you turned to face him and the both of you traded nods—an unspoken conversation that only you and Cal know the words to.

Your lightsabers ignited and hummed in unison, the both of you positioned into a defensive-offensive stance. It was two against one, though the Grand Inquisitor appeared to be unfazed by the odds. Both parties lunged at one another, the Pau’an deflected both sabers on each side and despite your combined strength, he didn’t back down—rather, he shifted all his weight against the two of you, and the dark warrior loomed over the two young Jedi.

For every jab either of you have for him, he always had a way to parry it. His skill was commendable, but it was also irritating and frustrating.

“Your skills pale against mine! I am more powerful than any Jedi combined!”

“Does he always gab this much when fighting?” you remarked. “It’s annoying, really.”

Cal smiled to himself. He almost hate to admit he missed your sarcasm.

“YOUR BLIND FAITH OF A FALLEN ORDER SHALL BE YOUR DOWNFALL!” The Grand Inquisitor snarled, in addition, he produced his ignited lightsaber in retaliation. The halo that encircled the hilt started spinning in a dramatic speed.

This time, it was the Grand Inquisitor who was in the offensive. He was more adept in using the aggressive, acrobatic forms—you detected a mix of Forms IV and VII, Ataru and Vaapad respectively—and he always managed to keep up with your next attacks, it’s as if he’s foreseen it before you could even make the move. The only thing you had against the Grand Inquisitor is your numbers; if you could overwhelm the Inquisitor with alternating attacks between you and Cal, it would confuse him and lose his focus—even for just a minute or a second, it counts.

You were on the defensive side of the duel; meanwhile, Cal sent a flurry of attacks in the Grand Inquisitor’s way—he attacked with a medley of fast-paced flourishes and spins, at the end of his figure-eight spin he stopped with a backhand that acted as a deflect against the Inquisitor’s overhead strike.

“[Y/N]!!” He simply called.

Cal made sure there was enough space between him and the enemy, he also timed in dropping his lightsaber to the most precise split second, enough for you to slide into the space between them and catching the falling saber altogether—when the black hilt fell into your grasp, the slightest turn of the wrist pointed this blade against the Grand Inquisitor and you slashed him across the shins.

“Agh!” the Grand Inquisitor exclaimed as the saber seared through his greaves.

You couldn’t help the feeling but celebrate in-battle—it was a bad habit, whenever you know you have taken the upper hand that is when you start partying inside your mind while still flinging a lightsaber at the enemy.

He fell to the floor, on his knees, but he was still able to deflect your overhead strike. He stood upright again in the small window of a second after he fell to the ground and was back in action. He focused more on Cal, hell-bent on destroying his former protégé who turned tail at the last minute. Crimson blades torched the darkness and the collision produced a fountain of sparks. The Grand Inquisitor did a cheap shot and jabbed Cal in the jaw with his able, the boy stumbled and it was the Pau’an’s chance to strike—but you quickly deprived him that when you directed your Force-Halt on him.

The Grand Inquisitor remained cemented, with his body still as a statue, and you ran up to him with a downward slash followed by the hardest kick your leg could muster. The impact of his fall was so hard that the gray little discs attached to his ears fell off, all of a sudden, a hybrid of high-pitched white noise and a deep, low buzzing entered his eardrums and nauseated him. The two of you backed away as you watched the Pau’an writhe on the floor with his hands padding his ears, your eyes searched for the gray ear discs and kicked it to the farthest side of the chamber.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here!” you cried.

The two of you made a run for it, Cal destroyed the control panel and the door froze in a partially-opened state. Vaulting through the sizable gap that the door left, the next gauntlet was getting past the bridge. A Stormtrooper punched the alarm before joining the fray, you and Cal easily cut through the numbers and sped across the bridge until you’ve reached the other side.

“[y/n], help me with this!”

Both of you tore the bridge apart by severing its connection until it was fully dismembered from the main platform. The bridge groaned as it became a slope upon its collapse, bringing down the Stormtroopers with it. Cal led you to the elevator and searched for the right button in the middle of a panic, he crunched a button of that eventually led you to a series of corridors.

“Cal, where are you taking us!?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Just now, actually!”

“Then follow my lead!”

For every one out of three turns in a hallway, you are met with a patrol of Stormtroopers who are now vigilant due to the high alert that’s been set off.

“Wait, there they are!”

Cal fished out a thermal detonator from his utility belt and tossed it right into the spot filled with Stormtroopers and then used the Force to shut the door until the bomb went off. A muffled explosion quaked the corridors and the siren howled in a continuous tone. With Cal on the lead, you covered the flank, cutting the path between yourselves and the units of Stormtroopers on your trail.

Your running speed has noticeably slowed down, you could barely keep up with Cal and looking over your shoulder to check if there are enemies behind you.

Come on, [y/n], come on! You coaxed yourself mentally. The exhaustion was eating away at your body for every step you take.

Along the way, you and Cal alternately destroyed the control panels of the doors that you’ve passed by, further cutting off the Stormtroopers chasing you.

“Here, [y/n], here!”

You come across a control room, but you emptied it of Stormtroopers and a single Imperial security droid. Cal approached and peered through the wide windows.

“There’s the hangar!” Cal pointed. “I think we can hijack a shuttle there and get the hell out of—!”

He turned around, his smile that was filled with the hope of a successful escape melted the moment he saw you fumbling to the ground and clutching your torso.

“[y/n], are you okay?” he ran up to you and caught you once again in his arms.

You didn’t tell Cal, but the successive exhaustion of being tortured via electrocution, being caught in combat, and now in the middle of a hot pursuit during a breakout has taken its toll on your body.

“Cal…” you fought between speaking and breathing, managing a tender cooing tone. “My baby… save yourself…”

“No, I’m not leaving you! Not when we’re so close!”

The response he received from you is your labored breathing, struggling to hold on for dear life.

A violent tremor shook the entire structure, the bridge must have totally gone down and damaged the lower levels. Subsequently, the destruction would cascade down to the fortress’s core; if you’re not quick enough, you might as well go down with the building.

“Come on, up you go!”

Cal scooped you up in his arms and sprinted through the hallway that leads to the shuttle hangar. He gently put you down behind some crates and fought off the guards blocking his way to the ship.

“There’s the traitor, stop him!”

A team of Stormtroopers led by a Purge Trooper rifleman blasted away at Cal, the barrage overwhelmed him and he didn’t exactly have Cere and her Force field to shield him from the hail of bullets. He banked the bullets back to their senders but a gunner from the upper platform sniped at his lightsaber with a charged shot—supposedly his head but his hand slipped.

The destroyed lightsaber clattered next to your feet and Cal slipped to the covers with you. You ripped open a concealed section on the right leg of your cargo pants and fished something out of it.

It was Cal’s lightsaber.

“You idiots didn’t search me,” you lightly thumped his head with the emitter as you sniggered.

He held your face and pulled you in for a kiss—it was abrupt, but you could feel the press of his lips against yours.

“I’m glad we didn’t!”

He ignited his true lightsaber, the radiant beam shone over the gloss of his eyes, and a grin stretched from ear-to-ear.

Now back in action, Cal banked the next shot at the sniper; vaulting over the crates, he carved a path to the group of Stormtroopers who were backing away in fear of the one-man army. He took down the leader Purge Trooper and then pulled all of his enemies around him, the lightsaber flew in a fan-like motion, tearing down the Stormtroopers in a single sweep. He returned to you behind the crates and found you unconscious, he checked for a pulse—there was, but it was weak.

“Come on, sweetie, up we go!”

He scooped you again bridal-style and slammed the door button open. Upon entering, he headed for the lounge and laid you down on the couch, kissed your forehead and then darted to the cockpit. BD-1 hopped over on the dashboard and watched Cal work his magic on the ship—a crank of the main power lever that wired the ship to life, and then lightning-fast pace of typing the coordinates and prepping the ship for hyperspace both at the same time. BD-1 noticed another team of Stormtroopers flooding the hangar and shooting the ship, he alerted Cal in a string of frenzied trills.

“I know, BD, I see them!”

He turned the analog stick of the guns in the direction of the Stormtroopers and sent them flying in a single blast. Not wasting a moment’s notice, Cal hovered the ship and made the jump to lightspeed as soon as he got enough altitude from the crumbling fortress.

“Boo, woop?”

“It’s okay now, BD. We’re going home.”

Cal caressed little BD’s head, profusely apologizing to what he did to his first friend and even touched the little droid’s flat, rectangular head with his forehead.

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[thefeastandthefast]

Hyena eps 5-halfway through 8 thoughts

I feel like I’m mainlining a mountain of cocaine and ecstasy watching this show. Not that I know what that actually feels like; I’m just imagining. Not even trying to pace myself anymore. Thank goodness this is only 16 episodes long because I don’t think I can physically take more than that without losing my goddamn mind from exhilaration.

Lots of spoilers below:

There’s a lot to cover and maybe when I finish the whole thing I’ll be able to calmly talk about the little things I love. For example, the adorable telepathy between Geum Ja and her assistant Ji-Eun in episode 6. Also, the whole brilliant sequence that breaks down in detail and calls out for the audience what a character gaslighting another character looks like. Refreshing- since I’ve only just escaped another show that tried to gaslight me the entire time. 

Right now, though, I’m vibrating hard on the quick succession of gut punches in episode 8. Those quick flashbacks in episode 1, during Geum Ja’s fight scene, become devastatingly fleshed out in 8. I was indeed expecting some kind of traumatic childhood backstory that involved a miscarriage of justice. The extent of the tragedies in her formative years and her drastic actions in response now gives a new perspective on what looked like complete callousness towards her clients.

The callousness seems almost to be an extremely twisted form of kindness in Geum Ja’s extremely damaged mind. Because of her total loss of faith in the goodness or fairness of the world, her straightforward assessments of likely scenarios for people like Seo Jung Hwa and that poor battered housekeeper were, to her, honest attempts to keep them from indulging in the delusion she once suffered- the delusion that justice and safety can be found through the law. It’s a world where only money and might and a penis can guarantee those things and those without can only realistically scramble for the scraps, morals be damned.   

To Geum Ja, the only justice and safety one can rely on is what an individual can wring out for themselves, because that’s what she has had to rely on her entire life, especially in her most desperate moments. It’s a profoundly, desolately sad worldview and I’m profoundly sad for Geum Ja! I’ve found it hard to really root for her though I’m inexorably drawn in by her. I still don’t think I can truly root for her professional wins, even though they are breathtaking to watch. But I’m rooting hard for some real healing to happen. Please let it happen.

And then after that gut punch, Hee Jae shows up with that incredibly vulnerable scene and I’m DEADDDDDD. God, get that man drunk and he just wants to tell Geum Ja all his adorable feelings and get to know her and get her to like him for real. Honestly, Hee Jae is a major asshole but like, so healthy and normal in comparison to her. His daddy issues are nothing. Please, Hee Jae and Geum Ja, please go ahead and bang some of your problems away.   

[littledata]

Kara first becomes aware that Lena has a legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life when she gets home to find “Stay away from Lena Luthor” spray-painted on her apartment door. Her first thought is the culprit must be Lex Luthor, but spray paint seems a little inelegant for him, and besides, it’s just a bit too coincidental that the crime occurs the day after she shared dinner, drinks and a foot-pop inducing first kiss with the CEO of L-Corp. She rather doubts Lex found out about that from inside his supermax prison cell.

“I might have an idea who’s behind it.” Lena says sheepishly when she arrives to survey the damage. “I do have these seven evil exes who try to kill anyone I date.” When Kara suggests that this was perhaps something she should have mentioned after the aforementioned dinner, drinks, and earth-shattering kiss, Lena holds up her hands defensively. “I assumed it wouldn’t be a problem. I mean, you are a superhero.”

There’s just one issue with that superhero plan though, as Alex points out when she shows up to take a look at Kara’s vandalised door. The legion of seven evil exes who are now hellbent on destroying Kara’s life only think Lena is dating Kara Danvers, not Supergirl. So when they show up to fight her she can’t actually punch them into space without revealing her secret identity. She either deals with this problem as Kara Danvers or outs herself to a group of heartbroken supervillains.

So what does Kara Danvers do when she’s confronted with a legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life? She makes friends with them. Obviously.

1. Michael. Lena dated Michael for three weeks when she was fifteen because he had an earring and rode a motorbike. She was in the midst of a rebellious phase where she was trying her damndest to piss off her mother, and it worked until Michael suggested she drop out of high school to tour the country with his band. Even aged fifteen, Lena Luthor was nobody’s groupie. In the intervening years, he had racked up a couple of minor felonies (he was responsible for the spray paint) and was now playing bass in a Nickelback cover band. Kara agrees to hand out flyers for their next gig, and he tells her that she’s “totally kick-ass” like he’s from a 90s teen movie, then agrees he won’t try to murder her. She has to stand on a street corner in the cold for three hours, but it’s worth it when Lena shows up with hot cocoa, plants a warm kiss on her freezing nose, and tells her she looks cute in her scarf.

2. Madison. Kara first becomes aware of Madison when she is pelted with soccer balls by a small herd of children out of the windows of a mini-van. After she makes her escape, she forces an embarrassed Lena to explain that Madison was part of her first experimental steps into sleeping with women. They had hooked up once in their freshman year of college before Madison met a man, settled down and had four kids in quick succession. Kara has to find out for herself, buried somewhere in the depths of Madison’s mommy blog, that Lena had ruined her sex life with her future husband forever by giving her the only orgasm she would ever have.  Kara ignores her friends’ rather lewd suggestions of how she could get in her good books, and instead stays up all night baking cookies and brings them to Madison’s PTA fundraiser. She arrives home that night to Lena brandishing three large pizzas and a lewd suggestion of her own.

3. Prisha. Kara knows all about Prisha. She’s beautiful and intelligent and perfect, she’s a hot-shot prosecutor and she has a blackbelt in Judo and Kara hates her guts. Lena only ever references her vaguely, but Kara does manage to get out of her that Lena was eyeing up engagement rings before she found out Prisha was cheating on her, and after that Kara just hates her even more. She’s actually determined not to befriend this particular ex until she receives a court summons for an unpaid parking ticket. Kara Danvers has never parked illegally in her life. She offers Prisha Supergirl’s number so that she can get in a few sparring sessions to train against someone really tough (under the influence of kryptonite, of course), and that means she gets to make friends with her and punch her in the face. “You do know you’re the only person I care about dating right now, don’t you?” Lena asks her later with a teasing smile, and Kara feels a little bit guilty about the whole punching thing.

4. Simon. Lena broke up with Simon after he stole some of her PHD research, published it under his own name and used the resulting exposure to start a multi-billion dollar tech company. He still frequently appears in the news for the human rights violations in his company warehouses. He sends a delivery driver to do his dirty work for him, who hands Kara an exploding pen when he asks her to sign for her package. Admittedly, this might have actually worked if she wasn’t an alien, and Kara isn’t exactly thrilled by the thought of attempting to make nice with Simon. She is excellent at gift-giving though and finally hits on what every Silicon Valley tech bro really wants: she talks Winn into hacking his social media pages and making his twitter advertising campaign go viral. She tells Lena she’s starting to worry about just how bad she is at picking her relationships, and Lena points out that her current girlfriend is pretty great. It’s the first time she’s said it, and Kara melts.

5. Jensen. Jensen was Lena’s final attempt at pleasing her parents and dating men, back around the time of the whole Lex-Luthor-tries-to-kill-Superman fiasco. It seemed like it would make Thanksgiving a little less awkward, Lena explains, and Kara supposes she can’t argue with that logic. Their relationship might have even worked out if both of them hadn’t been very, very gay, and although they parted on amicable enough terms, that doesn’t stop Jensen from trying to poison Kara with tainted cupcakes from the bakery he owns. The cupcakes are really good though, if you ignore the arsenic, so once Kara finds out he owns a bakery she becomes one of his best customers, and inside of a month she and Jensen are regularly meeting up for coffee. He’s not really evil, just kind of dramatic, and Lena pouts adorably when Kara teases that she could say the same thing about her.

6. Rosa. Kara finds out about Rosa when she receives a call from the National City jail warning her away from Lena. Lena looks faintly embarrassed when she admits that she dated Rosa for a couple of months until she realised the other woman was stealing from her apartment and attempting to milk every penny she could out of her. Which, yeah, Kara supposes you’re at risk of that when you’re an incredibly attractive, single billionaire, but Lena seems to think she should have known something was amiss in advance. Apparently, Rosa is very well connected in the organised crime world though, because she definitely recognises the goons who jump her and Alex outside of her apartment building as being from a local mob family. Said goons didn’t exactly expect to be contending with an over-protective Danvers sister though, and they’re seen off very quickly. Alex is less than impressed when Kara starts up a penpal friendship with Rosa, despite her little sister’s insistence that Rosa was mostly blackmailed into most of her crimes by her underworld family members. Lena, who perhaps understands a problematic family more than many people, sighs and says, “Well, you forgive people. That’s what makes you Kara.”

7. Clara. Kara has absolutely no idea what Lena saw in Clara. She’s nothing like any of Lena’s other exes, doesn’t even have much in common with her, and it isn’t until Alex has tears of laughter running down her face that she kind of sees it. Clara has long blonde hair, blues eyes, glasses, favours button-ups and - oh okay fine, she’s a dead ringer for Kara. She does an excellent imitation of Kara on the phone and attempts to break up with Lena, but gives herself away when she mentions eating a salad for lunch. Kara gets in touch with a talent agency she knows through CatCo and helps Clara get a steady gig as a Supergirl lookalike. When she asks Lena what she was thinking when she slept with her, Lena gives a small shrug. “I was head over heels in love with my best friend but not quite ready to admit it yet.” 

“Am I in danger of becoming evil if you ever break up with me?” Kara asks once the legion of seven evil exes hellbent on destroying her life have all been successfully befriended and neutralised. She expects Lena to make a joke about Supergirl never turning evil, but Lena just gives her a curious look instead.

“What makes you think I’m ever going to break up with you?”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 247: Todoroki Angst

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko started some kind of procedure on Tomura to make him even more powerful, because that’s what we were all asking for at the end of the last arc, isn’t it? “Horikoshi can you go ahead and make the homicidal nihilist even stronger please and thank you.” Well not to worry, because he’s got our backs! Meanwhile Hawks poked around the villain HQ trying to find out more details about That End Of The World Thing That’s Happening In 4 Months, and came up with squat. But he did successfully pass on his secret message to Endeavor about how “THE CHILDREN ARE OUR ONLY HOPE,” so Endeavor shrugged and was like “fine, HEY CHILDREN, LET’S GO FIGHT CRIME.” Anyways, so I was thinking, do you suppose they all just figured out they’re actually in a shounen manga? Because that would explain a lot.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor gathers the kids together and is all “so tell me about yourselves.” Deku is all “I have two quirks shut up it’s not weird” and says he wants to get better at harnessing his power so that he can use it without it being destructive. Kacchan is all “I’m already strong but I want to become better as a person” and I appreciate how the other characters are able to hold themselves back from exclaiming, “THIS KID’S REDEMPTION ARC... IT’S TOO POWERFUL...!” because I sure the fuck would have if I was there. And then Shouto is all “hey dad, friendly reminder that I’m here because I want to get stronger to reach my own goals, but you’re still a shitty dad and I hate your guts.” Endeavor, to his credit, reacts very appropriately to all three kids (including a resigned “got it” to Shouto, which was in fact the only appropriate response, so props to him for that), and dives right on in to mentoring the shit out of them. He then delivers a challenge -- defeat at least one villain without him beating them to the punch. So that should be fun, and I mean that with complete sincerity. Bring it!

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

oooooh shit we’re starting right on a continuation of the Fuyumi panel from last week. TODOROKI DRAMA ARC INCOMING. THIS IS IT BOYS. THE BIG ONE

omg omg omg

friendly reminder that chapter 242, in which this internship was first announced, came out on September 6. that is six whole weeks that we’ve been waiting for this internship to actually get started for real. I WAS PROMISED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND UNUSUAL INTERACTIONS AND UNLIKELY BONDS BEING FORMED. and I have been patient, because In Horikoshi We Trust, but is it finally that time now? I just need them to stop hinting at it and finally get to it before I lose my mind okay

so Endeavor is asking Baku and Deku for their character profiles

Deku: “I used to break bones on demand, now I shoot wind from my fists along with the occasional Venom Symbiote”

Bakugou: “I blow shit up and I also have your character development arc, but fast-tracked so that it kicked in before I could fully become a massive prick like you”

meanwhile Shouto just sits there pouting because as we know from the Babysitter’s Club arc (and also from the Sports Festival arc, during which he dragged Deku into a hallway and was all “time to tell you about my tragic past” completely unprompted), he actually has his own character profile on standby ready to go at a moment’s notice, but everyone just keeps it benched all the time. poor Shouto

(ETA: he will not be silenced!!)

so Endeavor is phrasing this in the weirdest way possible, asking them to state “their current ‘assignments’” lol what. at least the second part of this is clearer, with him asking what they want to gain from this internship

okay so Deku says he wants to control his power so that he can “move at max performance.” yes that’s a very good goal for you, World’s Last Hope

lmaoooo

“weren’t you the kid who broke every bone in his arms several times in succession while attempting to KO my youngest child.” way to make an impression Deku

so Deku patiently explains that, yes, but we’re WELL BEYOND the whole bone-breaking stage now and currently at the “trying to master my new SECRET POWER which is still under wraps” stage. get with the times, Endeavor

hahaha here we go. this is so painfully awkward

“yeah so I kind of have a second quirk now. you know. as one does. please ignore how the only other known person to ever have multiple quirks just so happens to be the greatest villain of all time who is currently incarcerated in Tartarus following his last stand during which the number one hero lost all his power. that’s not relevant. anyways so yeah, two quirks, it’s totally normal and not a big deal at all”

what the actual fuck is he going to do once quirks # 3, 4, 5, etc. come along? this is such a disaster it’s not even funny. and by the way, this whole time I’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room that is Katsuki’s face while Deku nearly spills the beans about his so-called secret. but let’s all just acknowledge that it’s amazing and it belongs in a museum

thankfully Endeavor has had more than enough of exercising his brain today after all of that codebreaking, and isn’t even bothering to ask any questions. instead he’s just like, “show me.” probably the right call; easier to just see wth he’s going on about rather than keep listening to this strange and incredibly suspicious explanation

here we go guys time for some BLOOP

that’s because you’re still scared of it! boy if you’re not going to listen to Katsuki then I hope Endeavor can knock some sense into you at least!

you know, Endeav may be scowling so hard his face is gonna get stuck that way, but so far he’s not half bad at this mentoring/coaching thing

really appreciate how he jumps straight into asking pertinent questions about what Deku wants to do with this new quirk, rather than being all “how the fuck do you go from breaking all of your bones to THAT”

so now Deku’s explaining how it works and says he’s been applying the same principles that he uses with Air Force

LMAOOOOO

this right here is the most accurate introduction to Deku that Endeavor could ever have possibly received. THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE CHARACTER

and it also neatly sums up his whole problem with Blackwhip as well, which is just that he’s way overthinking it. no fucking wonder he can’t do anything with it yet! he’s trying to run NASA-level calculations in his head in real time while using it, like wtf. just let loose boi

also can we stop and appreciate how both Bakugou and Shouto are just fucking done. like, Bakugou is one thing, but just look at Todoroki fucking Shouto, Deku’s #1 fan and admirer, being all “wtf I hate Deku now”

LMAO AGAIN

Burnin’ is quickly rising through my favorite character ranks. meanwhile Shouto has gleaned, quite correctly, that those were in fact words coming from Deku’s mouth. what kind of words is a mystery, but at least it’s something

omfg Endeavor can speak Deku

(ETA: one of the things I’m noticing on a reread is how Endeavor is approximately twice the size of the kids. and it’s not like they’re small or anything. but they look like toddlers next to him. he’s only 6′4″ how is he towering over them to this degree.)

I feel like Endeavor’s intelligence levels fluctuate from week to week. or even from panel to panel. enigma

so blah blah blah he’s thinking to himself “his raw power rivals All Might’s” and then -- ! LOOK AT THIS SHIT

SOFT ENDEAVOR ADOPTING DEKU WTAF. holy shit. if anyone says they saw this coming, I’m calling you out as a fucking liar. BUT I’M HERE FOR IT OMG

AND NOW THIS ONE’S TURN!

(ETA: Kacchan is 5′7″. pretty sure Endeavor is actually 8 feet tall.)

lmao Deku’s face. trying to work out what this means and whether it’s good or bad

meanwhile, after the multiple pages of extensive rambling from Deku, Endeavor is about to get an introduction from Bakugou which will likely just consist of “I WANT TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE” with absolutely no introspection whatsoever. basically the polar opposite of Deku. gotta love it

HERE WE GO

ooh, unexpected! though still brusque. but to be fair, he’s gifted when it comes to saying a lot in few words

(ETA: out of the three, Kacchan definitely took up the least amount of time with his introspection. not bad for a kid who used to think the entire fucking world revolved around him. growth!)

now he’s bitching at Burnin’ for not having anything better to do than stand around heckling them lmao

SHE’S HERE TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY KATSUKI SHHH. in other news, today I learned that Burnin’ is actually me. huh

OH MY GOD KATSUKI IS METAING -- !! [ELBOWS MY WAY INTO THE FRONT ROW] EVERYONE FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!!

OH MY GOD

y’all Katsuki really just fessed up and admitted to needing to work on his growth as a person rather than his physical ability. along with a NEW ADORABLE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, EXCUSE ME WHILE I ORDER PRINTS OF THIS TO PUT IN MY WALLET

AND HERE WE GO NOW, THE WHOLE “I WANT TO SURPASS THE NUMBER ONE” PART. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN I EXPECTED, KATSUKI YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME PROUD! LOOK HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO BE A BETTER PERSON

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU’RE NOT ROOTING FOR BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS MANGA HONESTLY

OMG ENDEAVOR

“this kid...” REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE, DOESN’T HE! OH MY GOD I NEED TO SIT AND CALM DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER

anyway so do you love him. YOU BETTER SAY YES!!

LMAO SHOUTO COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER

LET’S HEAR IT THEN, FIVE PEEPEE MAN!!

Endeavor is whipping back around on him all “I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO MASTER YOUR NEW TECHNIQUE” with this look of borderline panic on his face that implies to me that it’s one thing to take on two new kids with no familiar baggage, and quite another to have to deal with his own son’s personal angst which is directly related to his own worst personal shortcomings and sins! but that’s just too bad, Endeavor! also, fuck you!

OH MY GOD TODOROKI SHOUTO HAS THE SOFTEST SADDEST EXPRESSION AND THIS SPEECH IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WHAT THE HELL

even Kacchan has gone soft. meanwhile, is somebody cutting onions in here or

(ETA: also, Kacchan really has been promoted to best friend status, hasn’t he? or co-best friend at least. Shouto really does value their time training together, huh. “spending time with these guys.” anyways so this officially is the TodoBakuDeku arc, sorry everyone I don’t make the rules.

also! I really love how Shouto’s character development has been all about him finally figuring out what it is that he wants. one way or the other, Endeavor has been the focus of his life since childhood. everything he did was centered around him, even when it was centered around defying him. it was still always him, and never Shouto. because he’d been raised as his father’s tool, he struggled with feeling like anything he achieved was just giving his father exactly what he wanted. so he never really had the freedom to strive toward his own goals until Deku finally broke him free of that mindset. it wasn’t until he was surrounded by others who shared the same dream he’d once had that he was able to move past the toxic part of that resentment. not to say that it wasn’t justified, because it was! and is, still. but all the same, it was hurting him at least as much as it ever hurt Endeavor, if not much more so. 

so I really like the message his arc sends here, which is that forgiveness is not so much for the benefit of the one who hurt you as it is for yourself. and that’s obviously not the right word for it, by the way -- “forgiveness” -- but it’s just a placeholder for lack of a better one. because obviously as we can see, he hasn’t forgiven him, but what he has done is put that part of his past behind him. for his own sake, for his own peace, which he deserves. anyways guys Shouto is so fucking strong and I love him so damn much. shit.)

“y’all didn’t think I was gonna put the Terrible Trio together with Endeavor and not follow through on it with piles and piles of Todoroki angst,” Horikoshi says, casually filing his nails with one eyebrow raised. “c’mon”

here it comes y’all

ain’t no force on this earth more dramatic than a Todoroki. did he somehow get a wind blowing in from somewhere. aren’t they indoors

loool Endeavor getting DRAGGED LIKE AN UNTIED SHOELACE in front of these kids he just met two seconds ago, oof. “don’t forget dad, just because I’ve mellowed out a bit and accepted that I need to learn how to use my fire side doesn’t mean I don’t still hate your guts because BOY DO I.” oh damn

so your kid is justifiably pissed at you for your decade and a half of abuse, not to mention annoyed that you’re just putting it all behind you now and acting like it never happened. but it’s not like it’d make things any better if he just went back to acting like a jerk with these new kids! so here we all are, with no easy answers for this situation. what’s a 45-year-old man trying to make up for his past sins to do

(ETA: boy I just took a stroll around the ol’ fandom and a lot of people have really strong feelings about this huh. the most common sentiment seems to be “YAASSSS SHOUTO”, which I can 100% get behind. but it seems like a lot of people are also angry that Shouto is in this situation to begin with. specifically, we have the usual faction of people who are upset that Endeavor is getting any kind of redemption arc at all, and would prefer if he remained eminently hatable and shunned and detested for the rest of his days.

and look, I get it. humans are hardwired to want things to be fair. we want karma. kindness should beget kindness, and cruelty should net you the same treatment in return. reap what you sow. and while some crimes occasionally fall into a grey area, it hardly gets more black and white than Endeavor’s case. not only is there the child and spousal abuse, there’s also the incredibly dubious consent issues that arise in the case of an arranged marriage. like, there’s really no question that what he’s done is bad. so to see behavior like that “rewarded” by his becoming the number one hero, and to see people actually admiring him, and to watch him taking steps to turn his life around even as his wife and children struggle to gather the shattered pieces of their own lives -- yeah, that’s gonna trigger something in a lot of people. because it’s not fair. he hurt good people who didn’t deserve it, and all of this makes it seem like he’s getting away with it.

but here’s the thing -- there are different types of penance. there’s punishment, but there is also atonement. and Endeavor is getting his just desserts in some ways -- by being forever denied the chance to reach the goal that he worked his whole life toward, and by finally developing a conscience, the better to fully experience the remorse of knowing the pain he brought about to his family. but what’s arguably more important than that is that he also has the opportunity to try and atone for some of the terrible things he’s done, by doing good in the world now. he is a hero. his job is to help people. every day he is making the world a little better by doing that. and that, to me, is such a fascinating idea: a terrible person doing good things. and it’s something that feels almost counterintuitive, and that’s part of why a lot of people have so much trouble accepting it, I think. but it’s a fact of life, isn’t it? if good people can do bad things, then it stands to reason that the reverse is true as well. 

and I’ll just come right out and say it -- for me, if it comes down to a choice of having someone be punished, or having them be forced to do good things to atone, I’m gonna go with the latter just about every time. because while it may not feel quite as viscerally satisfying, it’s the option that produces the greatest net benefit for the world. without Endeavor, the world would have one less person out there battling evil. and as I suspect we’re going to continue to see in this arc, there are other, subtler ways that he can still do good as well.

so yeah. it’s a tricky thing. but to be honest, the ability to explore this type of complexity is one of the things I respect the most about Horikoshi’s storytelling. he’s not taking the easy way out here. he’s not giving us easy answers one way or the other. no matter what kind of resolution we get to this character arc, it’s not going to be something that will satisfy everyone. but that’s just how it is. anyways, apologies for the rant.)

hmmm Endeavor

yeah you really read that one wrong. anyway I guess it’s your turn to make a speech now

...

classic Endeavor

(ETA: actually truth be told, that was quite eloquent, and pretty much the only thing he could have said in response to all that. it’s not like he can even begin to justify all of his actions, and pretty much anything else that came out of his mouth would have come off like an attempt to dismiss his son’s feelings, or him trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. there is pretty much nothing else he can say here except for “I understand. that’s valid, and I fucked up.” which this is pretty much acknowledging. anyways this whole chapter is basically the sequel/continuation to 192 and I’m loving it omg.)

so he says he’ll watch over the three of them as a hero, and lead them in hero stuff

oh, I wasn’t going to post this panel, but now Endeavor’s saying “those are the three fundamental skills sought after from a hero” so I guess I should, huh

ooh he says that generally heroes will choose to specialize in either rescue or battle, but his policy is to kick ass at all three. well that’s one similarity between him and All Might, at least. if you’re not here to both win and rescue then what are you even doing with your life am I right

damn there really is a reason why this guy is the number one huh

okay, like. not to knock like 99% of the other heroes out there, but is anyone else sitting there thinking “wow, finally someone competent” or is it just me. like, I really do get a sense of “he’s got it all under control” from him which is lacking with pretty much all of the other heroes. no wonder society is on the verge of being in shambles. what we really need is for all heroes to be this capable, and not just All Might or Endeavor or whoever happens to be the current number one

okay, Endeavor is really out here being a genuinely good mentor, I’m speechless

holy shit

-- WHAT, NO! ARE WE ALREADY DONE?? WHY

okay but I do love that, though. it’s a perfect goal for them. difficult, but not impossible at the rate they’re growing. and it also just so happens to be something that they need to be able to do if they really are going to be the shoulders that society is resting all of its hopes upon. and last but not least, it’s something that all three of them will be able to set their minds too gladly. kick this old man’s ass, kids

anyways. ladies and gentlepeople this chapter was only thirteen pages. shortest chapter we’ve had in a minute. but at least it was densely packed! even if Shouto took up like half of it with his Daddy Issues Speech. that’s okay Shouto we always welcome your daddy angst

all in all I am satisfied. character development, and finally a clear goal for the arc. though part of me would also love it if they manage to achieve this in like the very next chapter. you never know with these wunderkinds lol

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 3

Time for more Brotherhood! When we last left off, we got the backstory on the Elric Brothers, and they were off to investigate rumors of ‘miracles’ by a priest that I don’t think is quite on the up and up, given all the oh-so-subtle “THIS IS A BAD GUY” clues in the last post-credits. But hey, I’ve been wrong before. Let’s get started!

Hmm. Same “Alchemy 101” intro from last episode, should I count the mention of “Equivalent Exchange” here if this shows up each time? I’m happy just spotting it in normal dialogue, but I’ll leave it up to you guys if I should include this mention. Urgh, seeing smiling Mama Elric is still a kick in the gut. Still don’t know some of the characters here, but looking forward to meeting them. Maybe not the Goths so much. We’re at the town! And there’s a [Radio Voice]? Is this the (corrupt) priest? Who… huh, he’s preaching about the “Sun God Leto”. This the primary religion in this setting, or just one guy who’s all “Praise the Sun!” NPC Shopkeeper is asking if the Elrics are street performers in their getups. Gotta admit, Al’s pulling off an impressive loom here, leaning on the counter. “Street performer” wouldn’t be my first guess looking at the giant fanged suit of armor. Ed in his red cloak, however… yeah, gotta side with NPC Shopkeeper here. And really Ed, what did you expect? Why would he ask if you were a carny unless he thought you might be? Oops! Watch your head, Al! Don’t break the poor guy’s radio! Well, that’s smashed. But nothing a little Alchemy can’t fix, right? [Energetic Strings] as Al preps the TC, and a crowd of curious villagers are looking on. And tada, good as new! Smug Ed is proud of- “Amazing, it’s a miracle! You’ve been touched by the Sun God, just like Father Cornello!” No no, it’s alchemy! But to their credit, the villagers come around quickly at the mention of the Elric Brothers, are pleased to meet… *sigh*. Saw that coming a mile away. Wavy-armed Al has to correct his well-meaning friends, point out the “little guy”. Who does not appreciate the running gag. Episode 03: “City of Heresy” So now that that little misunderstanding is out of the way, Ed asks the now-terrified villagers about the voice on the radio. Shopkeep and [Man 1] talk about their leader Father Cornello, who came into town with some pretty big claims, up to bringing the dead back to life. Ed says that’s something he needs to see. And here’s the priest, smiling to a huge crowd of cheering villagers as glowing roses rain from the sky. On of his miracles? And the crowd goes nuts as he catches one of them, and then a bright red glow later it’s a large crystal? Not sure what he just did, but something about that shade of red… just didn’t seem that wholesome to me. Again, trying to reserve judgement, but not getting the best impression of you right now, Father. The Brothers are watching the show, Al says that there’s no doubt it’s alchemy. But somehow he’s ignoring the Law of Equivalent Exchange? EEC: 4 Oh, I see! Normal rules would be that you can’t add mass or change organic matter into inorganic, but here he is catching a rosebud and making a great big crystal statue. And you can’t do that, unless… But that ring on his finger can’t really be a Philosopher’s Stone, could it? That’s like the end-all of this magic system. I could buy one showing up earlyish in this series, but the third episode? Let alone as a tool of a minor villain. Heck, either the Goths or the Government should have already swooped in and taken this, no sane power-block would let such an artifact remain out of their control for long. Anyways, inside the chapel a lady with striking red highlights is praying for “him” to be brought back, when Ed and Al show up. Lady, who captions have named Rose, asks if they are interested in Letoism. So she works for Cornello? Or just a religious villager? But nah, Ed says he’s not really the “religious” type. Given we’ve seen him encounter a demon who claimed to be God, I can understand his position. Rose is sorry to hear that, saying that to know God is to know hope, that through divine grace all things are possible. I’d rather not have religion get pulled into this Watch, but I can- “If you believed… I’m sure Leto would bless you and make you grow taller!” ...wow, ok then. I’m just gonna put away my heartfelt religion discussion, and just sit back and laugh at Al holding Ed back. Come on dude, she’s so sincere she’s got “Sincere” above her head! Don’t hate the messenger! Anyways, back to the topic at hand. How’s about this “bringing the dead back to life” business, does Rose believe in that as well? She does, and in the face of so much optimism Ed just pulls out a ratty notebook and starts reciting… chemical compositions… oh dear. Yeah, Rose has no idea what all this chemistry is about. Ed hunches over, talking about how the chemical composition of the human body has been calculated down to the last microgram, but still no successful human transmutations. And here Rose is saying that they can do with prayer something that modern science can’t do? Rose starts reciting scripture… and Ed holds no punches, explaining any kid could buy those ingredients down at the market for pocket change. “As it turns out humans are pretty cheap.” Hoo boy. This is turning into a proper religion v. science slugfest, isn’t it? And I really, REALLY don’t want to open up that particular can of worms on the Internet, but… Ed’s saying that Alchemists are scientists, they don’t believe in unprovable concepts like creators or gods. And heck, with the progress of science they’ve gotten the power to play gods themselves… Rose takes offense to this sheer arrogance. And Ed… brings up the myth of Icarus? Oooh, topical, isn’t it. About how someone flew too close to the sun and came crashing back down to earth. Al… Ed jumps up and asks if Father Cornello could save an arrogant scientist like him, which Rose jumps upon. *Sigh* Rose isn’t going to have a good time this episode, is she? Higher in the chapel, someone named Cray is talking to Father Cornello, saying a child and a man in a suit of armor wish to see him. Cornello is scowling out the window, says he can’t be bothered right now and to send them away. What’s the trouble, Father? But then he recognizes the Elric name, and- Oooh! Bad Father, you just swore in church! Both men are upset at realizing that the Fullmetal Alchemist (“The man in the armor?” “Dressing the part, it would seem.” Ha!) has come calling? Oh wow you guys are definitely bad, scowling and muttering about your “plans” to ominous string music. It seems Cray is leading the Elrics now, saying that they’re in luck, he can spare a moment of his time. Ed says they won’t take too much, and Cray- gun! Brother Cray has pulled a gun… and is pointing it at Al, while two guys in robes with staves block Ed. Yeah, not too worried about this, although Rose is. Cray claims that they are evil heathens come to discredit the Father, to which Ed agrees to make it quick and instantly takes down the Robes. And Armor Punch to the unfortunate Cray’s face! Father Cornello emerges from the shadows, welcoming them to the hope of their ‘sacred order’ and “apologizing for his disciples’ behavior”. Ed doesn’t buy it for a second, demanding to know how Cornello has been using Alchemy to deceive the villagers. Cornello claims that it’s the work of Leto, creating a statue in his hands as proof of something Alchemy couldn’t do. And Ed agrees, saying he didn’t get how he could just ignore the Law of Equivalent Exchange. EEC: 5 Poor Rose, looking back and forth between the increasingly irate Father Cornello and the angry Edward, who calls out Cornello’s ring as a Philosopher’s Stone. Cornello keeps claiming to be “God’s humble servant”, so Ed says he’ll just have to beat the Truth out of him. Cornello… what. Dude. Dude, NO. That is messed up. Cornello just told Rose to pick up the fallen gun. And then shoot the Fullmetal Alchemist. Thankfully Rose is shocked at that order, says she can’t do that. But Cornello says that his word is that of Leto himself, and finally opens one eye to look down on them. “Shoot him, Rose. It’s God’s will.” Bad Father, very very bad Father! Rose? Rose, honey, please put down the gun. Aw crud, and now Cornello’s bringing up the loss of her fiance, reminding her of a promise; if she had faith, he’d bring him back to life. And with that, she’s pointed the gun at… Al. Ok, that’s ok, we can work with aw damnit Al shut up! You’re the suit of armor, take the name for just a few minutes! And oh my god Ed just shut up shut up stop getting pissed that people keep mistaking your brother for you. “Person about to shoot the Fullmetal Alchemist” is not the time to insist that you’re the Fullmetal Alchemist! And aw crud, Cornello’s shocked that it’s “the short one”. You dun goofed. Ok, back to the gun. Rose is apologizing, saying she has no choice. Ed tries to convince her that Cornello’s been lying, but she’s still believing in the Father’s “miracles”. So Ed tells her to shoot, and- Al! Rose fired blindly and hit Al’s helmet! On the one hand, impressive shot if it had been intentional. On the other hand, what the hell Rose?! Rose rightfully drops the gun in shock and starts screaming, Cornello smugly says that “God Leto is pleased”. And then tells her to pick the gun back up and shoot the other as well. And then the headless suit of armor sits back up and chides Cornello for making her do enough already! Ha! Take that, fake priest! [Exciting Music] starts up as Cornello blathers about Al being an abomination, how the ‘evil’ must be purged… and pulls a switch? Gah, manticore! Manticores are a thing in this setting! Cornello says his chimera should be up to the task. Or not a manticore? In the light it looks like the front half of a lion, and the back half of a rat. Edward calmly summons a spear, further shocking Cornello at the lack of a TC. But… ooh, the chimera just sliced right through the weapon. Seems the claws are sharp enough to “tear through iron”. Maybe Al should step back? Ah, nevermind. Ed’s pants may have been shredded, but the chimera’s claws didn’t do jack against his steel automail leg. And a bite attack likewise failed against his automail arm. And the pieces finally click into place for Cornello… wait, hold on. This seems really familiar for some reason… didn’t we just go through all this two episodes ago? Yeah, we did! This is almost word for word from Ep 1! Failed attack against an automail limb, Al getting his head knocked off, bad guy smugly accusing them of breaking the “No Human Transmutation” rule… you guys were saying this was the first proper episode in the manga, right? How Brotherhood’s first episode was mostly to show off the characters, and they put all the backstory into the second? Not saying this is bad or anything, just figured I should mention it. Poor, poor Rose. You’ve had a rough day, haven’t you? And good grief Cornello shut up, stop blathering about their attempting human transmutation. I don’t know exactly why you’re evil, beyond your earlier attempts to kill these boys for getting too close to your “plans”, but you are not helping your case right now. Yup, there it is, you just insulted their arrogance for trying to bring someone dead back to life. Remind me, what was your promise to Rose? Al plaintively asks for Cornello to hand over the stone before he gets hurt. It goes over about as well as you could expect, Transmuting his cane into a good grief is that a minigun? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are a terrible priest! Ed blocks the shots with Earthbending, boasting about he and God don’t get along very well, as Al swoops up Rose and gets her out of the line of fire. Or not really, because Cornello takes aim at them and starts blasting away, Rose only protected by Al’s bulk. And Ed… ha! Ignores the door and Transmutes a new one to get past the hapless disciples, and the brothers prance off down the hallway as gun-toting Father Cornello runs out and orders them to chase. Brothers are running along, but a couple of disciples have blocked off the end of the hallway, saying that’s far enough. Ed just laughs and goes full Alex Mercer on them. Disciple Group #2 are waiting in the wings… and their boss gets a Armor Boot to the face. Next! Now they’re… up in the clocktower? Al’s doing something to the bell, talking to Rose who is understandably upset. Al says that they aren’t evil. They just wanted to see their mom’s smile again. And guh guh don’t show that Thing again get it away, we already know it failed don’t show us again. Al goes on to talk about how Alchemy’s based on the Law of Equivalent Exchange- EEC: 6 -and how the price of their failed attempt was enormous, costing Ed his left leg and Al his entire body. And then Ed gave up his arm to bind Al to the armor. Now they’re on a mission, Al to restore Ed to his original body, and Ed to do likewise to Al. It won’t be easy, but it’s the path they chose. All they can do is keep moving. And here’s the sticking point, Cornello’s “promise” to Rose. And true to her optimism, she still has hope, going so far as to say that even if the Elrics failed, that doesn’t mean he will. Poor, poor Rose. Back inside, Cornello runs past a room… and then looks back in, finding Ed sitting on a desk. Cornello’s office? Ed seems confident, is he planning something? Wait, what? “Tell me what I need to know and I’ll be on my way... “ Cornello. Cornello, buddy, tell me you aren’t going to fall for that… oh my Sun God, really? You can’t seriously believe after all you’ve done that Ed will just walk away after a few questions. He’s obviously stalling for whatever Al was doing. *Sigh* Fine, whatever. What’s your deal, Cornello? Why waste time with these phony ‘miracles’ when you can ignore Equivalent Exchange? Oh? So you’re attracting disciples with your ‘miracles’, building an army of fanatics? As unimpressed as Ed is, it’s not actually the worst plan. Why do everything yourself when you can convince some schmucks to do it for you? I mean, they won’t last a second against the State Alchemists, but whatever. Although it’s still not answering the question of “why”. Why do you need an army? Why do you want to use the Philosopher’s Stone to “tear the country apart”? Heck, ignoring your stupid offering of a ‘slice’ of the country to Ed (do you really think he’d go for that?), I still want to know how you got a Philosopher’s Stone, and why someone smarter hasn’t beaten you up for it already. Alright, whatever. [evil laughter], glowing white eyes, cast in shadow. Are you done monologuing? Because it’s probably time for Al to come busting down the door or whatever. “Wait, what are you laughing about?” You, dude. You are just cartoonishly evil. You got nothing on Mr. Freeze. See, Ed’s even calling you a novice! Evil Overlord List, Cornello. Read it. Wait, what? “On”? No. YES. YES. On Switch + Microphone = Dawning Realization the Radio Transmitter was turned on, plugged into the Church Bell Transmuted into a Loudspeaker. “There were never any miracles, Rose…” Shut up Al don’t ruin this moment for me! Ok, moment slightly redeemed by the “Are you f*cking kidding me” looks on the disciples’ faces. Here I was thinking Ed was recording it maybe, delaying for Al to show up and knock his teeth out? But transmitting Cornello’s monologue over the entire town? Genius. I am standing up and applauding, I am not even kidding. Oh man, these reaction cuts are gold, NPC Shopkeeper in particular looks pissed. Even the dog is shocked! Ok, ok. Give me a second to breathe… Just give it up, Cornello. You aren’t talking your way out of this one. And stop trying to fight, Ed way outclasses you. And… ouch, your Transmutation on your damaged gun just failed, looks like it melded with your arm? A rebound, like the failed Human Transmutation? Yep, Cornello’s lost it, yelling about being the ‘chosen emissary of the Sun God Leto’. Cut to the chapel, and Hulk-Cornello just smashed through. They’re smashing the place up, Cornello still ranting about being the Fist of God (does he really believe in Leto?), to which Ed Transmutes the great big statue to give him what he asked for. And Cornello’s down, like the half-baked villain he is. Now Ed can grab the… Philosopher’s Stone? It just stopped glowing and fell to the ground before dissolving. I mean, way too early for Ed to get the Quest Item, but still. Ed’s all shocked, saying the Stone is supposed to be the perfect material. So it was fake? But then how did Cornello do all that? Speaking of, the guy is just whining and whimpering now that he apparently can’t Transmute anymore. And Ed just… lets him go, yells at him to get out of there? Dude, arrest him! Guy was brainwashing a village, tried to have you killed, and was working to take over the country (no way he would have succeeded, but still). Don’t just let him get away! But apparently he does, it’s later as the Elric Brothers are talking outside the chapel. Come on, perk up guys. Just because this was a dead end- Rose, what the hell?! Put the gun down! Didn’t you hear him, it was a fake! And whoa, accusing them of keeping it for themselves? To get their bodies back, and bring back- Oh. Huh. Apparently that’s not even a consideration. “People don’t come back from the dead, Rose. Not ever… Not ever…” So, it really is just a quest to get their bodies back? Not to bring back Mama Elric? Rose collapses, crying about how Cornello promised her, that if she was faithful a miracle would occur. Without that hope, what is she supposed to believe in now? She’s begging them, asking what to do… and the Brothers walk right by her. Dudes, not cool. Don’t just leave her like this. “I can’t tell you that. You have to figure it out. Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You’ve got two good legs. So use them. You’re strong enough to make your own path.” ...while I admire the intent behind the message (and is this the show that Monty Oum’s catchphrase of “Keep moving forward” came from?), I can’t help but think that this isn’t he best time. Rose has just had her world destroyed, the source of her faith uprooted, the hope of getting her fiance back shattered. She needs something a little more gentle than “suck it up”. Later that night, seems the entire village has gathered, the [angry mob yelling] for Cornello. Inside the chapel, Cornello is clutching his new metal arm and ranting about the little brat… until another voice interrupts him? Lust? The lady’s complaining that they should have just incited a rebellion, while the fat guy chews on one of the chimera’s legs, then says he’s hungry and asks to eat the old man. Lust tells Gluttony no, she doesn’t want to risk indigestion. Cornello does not appreciate being mocked, says he won't SWEET LETO WHAT THE HELL Um, so Lust apparently has Terminator 2 claws on her glove, just stabbed Cornello through the forehead. Camera pans to an ouroboros-like symbol above her bust? Anyways, Cornello dead. Lust complains about ‘Father’ not being pleased about starting from scratch- Gluttony? Gluttony, no. Gluttony NO. No eating him. Don’t you- Ok, didn’t not need to see that. Well ok! Good episode, some parts seemed a little bit repetitive, drawn from the previous two I guess? But good overall, more establishment of the Elrics and setting stuff up for future episodes. So what’s up next? Riza! Doing paperwork! Seems the Elrics travel to the Eastern Command Center and to report to Colonel Roy Mustang (name is still manly). And there they meet the Sewing Life Alchemist? Oh, so bio-alchemy’s a thing? I guess with the divide between organic and inorganic matter, with all the Earth and Waterbending we’ve seen so far time to see the other side. And will this get us details on that chimera that Cornello made? Oh hey, is that a Cerberus? Looks like a three-headed dog in a cage, captured experiment or what? Episode 04: “An Alchemist’s Anguish” “Some meetings in this life are destined only for heartbreak.”

[eyes-of-fanfiction-green]

Shutting Down Part 5 (FINAL)

Dean x reader

! PART 1 HERE!

! PART 2 HERE!

! PART 3 HERE!

!PART 4 HERE!

MASTERPOST

Summary: after a fight with the reader, Dean wakes up in another woman’s bed, now the reader and Dean have to deal with the consequences.

Warning: blood, fighting, fluff, SO MUCH ANGST

A/N: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It’s finished!! So, I feel like proud momma, honestly. I wrote part one MONTHS ago, and it was my first fanfic ever. Now I’m doing full epics on Ao3 and have a successful tumblr account and I just.... wow. So much nostalgia. Anyways! This one is SUPER long, compared to the others. I hope you like it. I think I will put together a master list of all my fics, so stay tuned for that, and I have another story in mind for what I will write next. Thank You SO MUCH for reading. Please enjoy.

Vampires only really feel two emotions: hunger and anger. These two emotions drive their thoughts, their actions, and their feelings. They define the most frightening characteristics that make them “monsters”.

But on that night, when you sprinted up the forest trail to find Dean in a puddle of blood, beaten and pale, eyes glazed over, and four vampires crouched around him feeding off of him, and one biting into his neck… those vampires were introduced to another emotion…

Fear.

The whole event felt like an out-of-body experience. You felt vibrations running through your chest and throat, you must have been screaming but you weren’t aware of it. There was blood pumping in your ears, so you couldn’t hear anything but static.

Dean.

Dean.

Dean.

The vamps started charging you, but you decapitated two of them before they could even get a swipe in.

You felt their blood splatter on your face and down your clothes, but you hardly paid attention. The last two vamps tried to pin you, but you just screamed in frustration and kicked their legs out from under them, springing back to your feet.

There was hacking and biting and punches and everything was blurry and foggy, until the head vamp grabbed an ax from a nearby wood pile. The other vamp lay dead at your feet, his head rolling slightly against your boot.

You watched as the last vamp began circling you, ax in hand. He passed between you and where Dean was laying, unmoving, and you felt your hackles rise.

You yelled at the top of your lungs as you charged the last vamp, machete raised. He ducked your swing and went at you with his ax. The next few minutes consisted of chopping and swinging, each of you grunting with frustration and effort.

Then you felt it.

A mind-numb pain bursting into flames in your side, your brain starting to short-circuiting and there was a buzzing humming through your body. You glanced down slowly to see the ax embedded in your side, deeply cleaving through your flesh like it was a loaf of soft bread.

As the vamp pulled the ax out of your side, preparing for another swing, you gathered your strength and drew back your machete, throwing all your force into one last swing, severing the vamp’s head from his shoulders.

You stayed standing there for a moment, letting the waves of shock and pain wash over you in waves. The static slowly cleared from your ears, and the buzzing drained from your body. All that was left was a sharp pain in your side, yanking you back into reality.

“Dean.”

You raced over to were Dean laying sprawled out on the blood-stained grass. There were so many bites on his body that his flesh looked more mangled than bitten. His skin was practically translucent against the bright blood and his hair was wrecked and sticky.

“Dean?”

You ran shaking fingers through his tangled hair.

“Dean? Can you hear me? I need you to hang in there, dude. For me? Okay?”

Slowly, painfully slowly, Dean blinked open his dull green eyes, un-focused and tired. You felt yourself sobbing with relief as he looked up at you. It took a few minutes before he could speak, while you quickly began applying pressure to his wounds, thanking god that the bite in his neck hadn’t his jugular artery.

“[Y/N]?”

There were tears running down your face as you smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m right here, Dean. I’m right here.” You finished makeshift bandaging the last bite using shreds of your coat.

“Bbbbut, yu… lffft..” His words slurred together in confusion.

You felt something akin to a damn breaking in your heart. “I know. I know I left. But I was wrong. It was a big mistake. I missed you so much Dean, god I missed you so much. And after all this crap we’ve gone through, you hadn’t even cheated on me. I’m such an idiot, I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I left you. How could I leave you? How could I do that? And now you’re bleeding out and I don’t know how to get you back. And I’m so tired. And my brain’s not working. And I’m so sorry, I’m so sor-“

“[Y/N].” Dean’s voice cut through your frenzied and feverish ramblings; his voice slightly less slurred this time.

“Yu nneed to breathhe, k?” His slightly glazed eyes drifted down your body and landed on the gash in your side, his gaze jumping sharply back up to you. “Yu’re hert!”

You vaguely became aware of him groaning in pain as he weakly took off his own coat to press up against your side, but you couldn’t stop muttering apologies and why was your body shaking?

“You’re ‘n shok. You ned to breathe.”

Oh, right. Shock.

“Is any’ else com’in’? [Y/N]! Any’ else coming?”

You finally locked eyes with his beautiful greens… so pretty. “Mhmm. Sam. I think.”

“Ok, we nneed to hed back to your car. K?” Dean carefully began pushing himself up to sitting, praying for enough adrenaline to make it back to the road so Sam could find them. He could see your body beginning to shut down.

He had lost far too much blood, his foggy mind knew that, but for as much as the bites burned and screamed at him, there was no internal organ damage…at least he didn’t think so. You on the other hand, were barely keeping your guts in with his jacket.

What a mess.

Dean slowly somehow managed to get to his feet, swaying dangerously. He took your shoulders, shaking them lightly to get your attention which had wandered down to your bloody hands at some point.

“Com’ on. We got’a f’nd Sam.”

You weren’t sure what happened in the next few minutes, hours? But you vaguely remember Dean half-carrying you through the forest and you half-carrying him in return. Your feet were dragging and his were shaking and stumbling.

“I luv’ yu D’n…”

“I love you t’o, [Y/N]. I’m so s’ sor’y.”

“W’re idio’s aren’ wwe?”

Dean let out a small laugh and a tear ran down his filth-covered face.

“Yeah, we ar’ idiots.”

How you two managed to make it as far as you did was a miracle and eventually you saw Sam and Bobby running up the path towards you both. They were yelling and their faces were painted with fear, but you just clung to Dean and smiled weakly as they ran up to you.

Bobby and Sam managed to get you both into the back of Bobby’s beat up van because the two of you wouldn’t let go of each other and the Impala only had space for one body in the back.

Dean held you tightly in his arms, kissing the top of your head and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “I lov’ yu. I lov’ yu. I lov’ yu…”

You could hear his heartbeat in your ear, getting slower and slower as the drive went on.

At one point you thought you heard Sam screaming to Bobby that Dean wouldn’t wake up and that you were barely conscious, but the black spots kept getting bigger and bigger and you felt yourself drifting away, piece by piece. The last thing you remembered was the stillness of Dean’s breath on your neck.

Then…

Nothing.

.

.

.

Beep. Beep. Beep

There was a throbbing in your head with each beep that reached your ears. Your body was slowly pulled to consciousness with the scent of antiseptic and blinding florescent lights.

Hospital.

Your eyes flited around the room, taking in the typical, standard-issue hospital room. Your eyes landed on Sam, hunched over in sleep, folded uncomfortably into a visitor’s chair. His face drawn and his hair was sticking out at odd angles. There was at least a four-days growth of beard on his face and he looked exhausted.

Then you felt someone shifting beside you in your bed. You looked over just in time to see two beautiful green eyes open sleepily and then freeze in shock.

“Dean?”

Dean’s eyes started watering and he began kissing your lips and nose and neck and all over face whispering, “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay. We’re okay.” Over and over and over.

You put you’re hand up on his cheek, stilling him instantly, and you smiled tiredly, all the memories of what happened filtering back into your brain. “We’re okay.”

Then Dean started sobbing.

You held him close to you, as tightly as the pain in your side would allow. Each of you taking comfort in one another’s prescence. There was so much pain and so much carnage from everything that had happened over the last few months.

But you were here.

And he was here.

And no matter what else happened, this right here, this was all that really mattered.

---------------------------------

You learned later that you had been in a coma for six days, Dean being well enough to be moved to your room after the first two. He had kept crawling out of his own bed to sleep in yours, much to the nurse’s frustration.

You had had to have surgery the moment they brought you into the ER, so Dean had been careful not to disturb your stitches. He had staid at your side the whole time, Sam told you later, and had never let go of your hand, even when he was getting his own treatment. Sam said Dean didn’t speak a word the whole week you were unconscious.

-------------------------------

A month after you had been released from the hospital, you were unpacking from a recent hunt. Pulling your dirty clothes out of your duffle and tossing them into a hamper across the room, you heard a knock at your door. Three quick raps.

“Come in.”

The door cracked open and Dean popped his head in the room. “Hey!”

“Hey dude. What’s up?”

Dean stepped fully into the room nervously picking at his flannel sleeve. His eyes darted around until they landed at his feet. “I uh, just wanted to say thank you, for uh, trusting me. On this hunt. I really appreciate it.”

You nodded slowly taking in Dean’s fidgeting. “Of course I trust you. I’m not going to make that mistake again.

Dean glanced up sharply and bit his lip, eyes wide. You had told him about the conversation you had overheard, how he hadn’t cheated, even drunk. You had never seen a man cry so hard, especially Dean.

“Hey, are we ever going to… I don’t know. Debrief? Talk about what happened? Are you even okay?”

“Course I’m okay…”

You let a little bit of fire burn in your eyes in frustration, “You tried to kill yourself Dean. You’re not okay. And I know part of its my fault, but… Dean… what was going through your head? I don’t understand.”

Dean sighed and sat down heavily on your bed, you quickly sitting beside him. “I don’t know. I just, couldn’t keep my head on straight, thinking I had cheated on you, messed up one of the few good things in my life. And then I was putting Sammy in danger on hunts and…I just…I was tired…everything hurt so bad without you.”

“Dean.” You lifted your hand to cup his cheek, wiping a stray tear from under his eye. “You have to promise me something. No matter what happens to me. No matter what happens to Sammy… you don’t give up. Okay? I know you don’t see all the good things I see when I look at you, but they’re there.”

You joined your other hand on his face as he tried to look away, pulling his face back to you, staring him right in the eye, forcing him to focus. “Listen to me. You bring so much light and joy into my life. You bring LIFE into my life. Every time I look at you I feel like I can breathe again. Like I’m home. You fill me, and complete me, and you shine through all the other darkness around me. You are my light, Dean Winchester. And any person that can affect another person like that, is someone who has a soul that should never be thrown away. So promise me… no matter what happens…live.

Dean’s eyes were red and tears were streaming down his face as he nodded silently. Then he grabbed your face and gently, oh so gently, pressed his lips into yours.

You felt like you were flying.

His lips were soft.

Like wisps of clouds on a sunny day.

You felt him tenderly lowering you onto your back on the bed, him moving to sit on top of you. He smiled down at you, his tears drying on his cheeks, and eyes shining like you had never seen them shine before. Even the most beautiful emerald couldn’t compare to those eyes in that moment.

And you could see it.

Shining in his eyes like a nearby star.

Love.

For you.

And you were sure your eyes were filled with the same for him.

That night would live on in your memory more vivid and more real then anything else, even more than that fight so long ago. It drowned out all the months of pain. All the weeks of awkwardness after the hospital.

All the mess.

You both had learned a lot. And you both knew you would fight again and hard times would come again. But that was okay. Because now you knew…

No matter what happened…

You two were soulmates, and nothing could tear you apart.

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart. Now and forever… I swear.”

The End.

———————————————————————————————

@supernatural13-13 @tftumblin @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterandpie @sasbb23 @itsjaybro16 @winchester-writes @mangueweaschester s @vicmc624

Let me know what you thought in the comments and if you want to be tagged in my next fic! (Not sure what it’ll be yet)

[tcm]

Since You Went Away and the Unconquerable Fortress by Jessica Pickens

Often times, when we think of films chronicling World War II, we rightfully think of servicemen and women raising the flag on Iwo Jima or digging fox holes in Bastogne. However, there is another side to the War that is highlighted in films, but perhaps not as often: the Homefront – those back home holding down the fort. And while the United States Homefront wasn’t as dangerous as fighting overseas, it came with its own challenges.

Many films highlight the Homefront by showing men coming home to the women they left behind, quick marriages after brief romances and comedies about housing and hotel shortages. But no film shows the day-to-day life and struggles of the average American family as well as SINCE YOU WENT AWAY (’44). Produced by David O. Selznick, he wanted the film to equal the success of his major hit GONE WITH THE WIND (’39), advertising SINCE YOU WENT AWAY as, “The four most important words since ‘Gone with the Wind.’”

The story was inspired by Margaret Buell Wilder’s syndicated column turned book, Since You Went Away, which features letters to her husband while he was overseas. Selznick adapted the letters into a screenplay around the life of a housewife, Anne Hilton played by Claudette Colbert, and her two daughters, Jane and Brig played by Jennifer Jones and Shirley Temple. Directed by John Cromwell, the film takes a deep dive into everyday life in 1943 America. The film begins noting the setting is “the unconquerable fortress, the American Homefront.”

SINCE YOU WENT AWAY doesn’t romanticize life on the Homefront or mince words. Life is hard and not everyone is in favor of the war. The Hiltons must change their pre-war lifestyle completely and evolve with a changing world. First, Anne Hilton finds that her husband’s military income is considerably less than his comfortable advertising salary. Anne struggles to keep a budget and takes in a boarder, played by Monty Woolley, to make extra money.

Through Elmer Ellsworth’s costuming, we see that the Hiltons have fallen on hard times. While still dressed well, you notice that mid-way through the film the actresses wear the same dresses more than once — a touch of realism but an unusual feature in a Hollywood film. Like everyone else, the family has to ration. Rationing affects every day activities like driving the car, cooking at home and eating at restaurants. For example, while on a date at an ice cream parlor Jane and her boyfriend realize there is no ice cream.

The film depicts how communities had to work in the war effort: Brig collects scrap materials, Jane joins the Red Cross and Anne begins working in a factory. While the Hiltons work to do their part and keep their heads above water in an uncertain time, their efforts are criticized.

The characters in SINCE YOU WENT AWAY are different from other World War II-era films because not everyone is pro-war. Anne grapples with why her husband, who was too old to be drafted, enlisted. Her catty best friend Emily, played by Agnes Moorehead, feels she is above changing her lifestyle just because there is a war. Emily judges the Hiltons for taking in a boarder and doesn’t believe well-bred girls, like Jane, should be nursing wounded servicemen.

John Cromwell and cinematographer Stanley Cortez, A.S.C., also show attitudes toward the war in various scenes; panning through crowds and picking up fragments of conversations. Each snippet either reflects struggles or how people are seemingly oblivious to the conflict:

“I haven’t got anything against red fingernails, but it’s carrying it too far when they paint up their toes.” 

“I bought six dozen nylons before the hoarders got there.” 

“I can’t write him everything the baby says on one of those little V-mail forms.” 

“My husband’s never seen the baby.” 

“I’m sorry mom, I’ve only got 5 minutes. My furlough was canceled.” 

“Agnes, look at that dame. Nylons!”

The family also meets heartbreak and grief, as loved ones die or are reported missing in the war. While performed by some of Hollywood’s top stars, the Hiltons feel natural and believable. Selznick’s honest, and sometimes gut-punching, script achieves a realistic look at the “unconquerable fortress.” The film may not have financially achieved the level of success of GONE WITH THE WIND, but it proved a Hollywood studio was able to accurately and realistically depict life in wartime America.