#4th attempt to have this show up in the tags

[ninadove]

Emilie was the one who had the brilliant idea to gift Felix a pet rabbit, wasn’t she.

[zukkacore]

imagine if you were locked in a building and told to kill your contemporaries if you wanted to leave but also Jenny from blackpink was there and she wrote you a note that was like come to my room late at night teehee < 3. and then she tried to kill you with a kitchen knife. that is what happened to Leon Kuwata!!

[brunchable]

POV: You're sucked into your Fanfic - Part Two

《 The plot goes off the rails. 》

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Writer!fReader

Themes: Comedy - Chaotic Duo (mainly y/n), breaking 4th wall. Fanfic Bucky meets his writer.

Summary: Y/N, now fully aware she’s in her fanfic, tries to navigate the villain’s role but is terrible at it. Y/N tries to sabotage one of the villain’s main plans but accidentally makes things worse.

A/N: Y/N is just a clown at this point LMAO.

tags: @winterslove1917 @zeeader @iamdedsthingz @hzdhrtss @almosttoopizza

@yiiiikesmish

You’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re in your own fanfic, but now comes the hard part: pretending to be the villain you wrote, a role you’re quickly realizing you’re terrible at.

“I can do this,” you mutter to yourself as you pace around your lair—or, well, the lair you wrote. “I wrote the villain. I know how to be evil... right?”

The words sound hollow even to your own ears, but you try to psych yourself up. After all, you can’t be that bad at playing the character you created... right?

Wrong.

You freeze at a loud thud echoing through the room. Oh no. That’s probably Bucky—or maybe the rest of the Avengers—coming to crash this part of the story. You know what comes next: an epic confrontation, full of dramatic one-liners and battle-ready glares. A perfect opportunity for your villain character to show off her menacing charm.

Only problem? You’re about as menacing as a kitten wearing a cape.

You glance toward the entrance, heart racing. Okay, play it cool, you can pull this off.

But deep down, you’re still reeling from the last time you faced Bucky. You were supposed to be locked in a super high-tech Avengers prison, right? Yeah. That lasted a grand total of two hours, mostly because your minions—and you use the term very loosely—broke you out.

To be fair, you didn’t even know you had minions. You didn’t exactly plan for that when you wrote the story. But, apparently, your villain character does. And when they broke you out, it was less like a well-executed heist and more like a disorganized clown car unloading directly into a high-security facility.

Imagine the worst rescue you can think of. Now multiply it by ten, add three explosions that were definitely not supposed to happen, and you have a vague idea of how badly it went. There were henchmen tripping over each other, one of them got stuck in the ventilation shaft, and another one kept calling you "Supreme Evil Leader," which felt flattering but... also very awkward.

To make matters worse, Bucky—looking all intense and broody, because of course he does—caught up with you right as you were awkwardly sliding into the escape vehicle, and the confrontation? Oh, it was a mess. 

You tried to give him a villainous speech about how “this isn’t over,” but it came out more like, “I’m... uh... not done here! Watch out!”

Then one of your minions set off a smoke bomb before anyone was ready, and you tripped over your own feet trying to make a dramatic exit. Classic villain move? Not quite. You barely made it out without face-planting.

So yeah. That’s where you’re at. This is round two, and you’re really hoping to do better this time.

Another thud echoes through the room. You swallow hard.

Okay, no more bumbling. This time, I’m going to deliver the villainous performance of a lifetime. 

You scramble to the center of the room and try to remember what your villainous character would say. You did write this scene, after all. It’s just... harder to do it when you’re living it. Especially when you know Bucky is about to walk in, all brooding and muscle-y.

Maybe if I just stand here and look mysterious? That’s evil, right? Just stare into the distance like I’m plotting something dark.

As the door bursts open and Bucky strides in, guns blazing (literally, because of course he’s carrying), you raise a hand, attempting to look menacing. “Aha! Bucky Barnes... we meet again!”

He pauses mid-step, raising an eyebrow. “You’re... dramatic.”

Damn it! Why did I write such terrible dialogue?

You cringe internally, but you push on. “Yes, well... I’m a villain. That’s what we do, right? Be dramatic?”

He’s not buying it. “Is this supposed to scare me?” His tone is flat, his expression unreadable.

You fumble for a comeback. “I—I mean, of course! You should be terrified of my... evil...ness.” You gesture vaguely around the lair, hoping it looks more intimidating than it feels.

Bucky takes another step forward, his metal arm gleaming under the dim lighting. “You don’t seem very sure of yourself.”

Great.

“I’m very sure!” you snap, but even you don’t believe yourself. You can feel your composure slipping. This is not how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to deliver a chilling monologue and strike fear into the heart of your enemies.

Instead, all you can think about is how Bucky’s muscles look even better in person.

Focus! You’re supposed to be evil! Stop mentally cataloging his biceps!

Bucky crosses his arms, clearly waiting for you to say something intimidating, but your brain is short-circuiting. 

“Look,” you start, hoping to salvage the situation, “maybe we could just... skip the whole fighting thing? We’re all tired, right? How about we just, I don’t know, chat?”

He blinks, clearly confused. “Chat?”

“Yeah!” you nod enthusiastically, jumping on this new plan. “You know, talk it out. No need for violence. I’m sure we can... negotiate.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. “You’re stalling again.”

“Stalling? Me? No way!” You laugh nervously. “Okay, fine, maybe a little. But in my defense, I wasn’t expecting you to look this... uh, intense.”

He steps closer, clearly not amused. “You’re the worst villain I’ve ever met.”

“How many times are you going to say that?,” you groan, throwing your hands up. “I didn’t ask for this! Well, technically I did because I wrote it, but now that I’m living it, it’s way harder than it seemed when I was typing it up, okay?”

Bucky stares at you, utterly confused, as you ramble. “You wrote what?”

“Never mind,” you mutter, waving him off. “The point is, being evil is exhausting, and I’m not cut out for it.”

Bucky looks at you like you’ve lost your mind—which, honestly, you probably have at this point. You’re clearly not doing a great job of selling the “evil mastermind” role.

“Okay,” you say, standing up straighter, trying one last time to get back into character. “You know what? Let’s forget all that. Let’s just get back on track, okay?”

You strike a dramatic pose, trying to regain some villainous dignity. “Behold, Bucky Barnes, for you will never escape my clutches! Mwahaha—”

Before you can even finish your half-hearted evil laugh, the ground beneath you starts shaking. You freeze.

“Oh no,” you whisper, realizing that you’ve accidentally triggered the next phase of your villain’s grand plan—which you totally forgot about.

The lair begins transforming around you, mechanical arms lowering from the ceiling, hidden weapons emerging from the walls. 

What did I even write here? You try to remember, but it’s been too long, and you wrote so many twists and turns into this plot.

Bucky raises an eyebrow as the chaos unfolds. “This part of the plan?”

You wince. “Uh... yes? I mean, obviously.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “You don’t even know what’s happening, do you?”

“Not... exactly,” you admit sheepishly. “It’s been a while since I wrote this, okay? But look, I’m sure it’ll all work out in my favor.”

Just then, a panel on the wall opens up, revealing a countdown timer with large, glowing red numbers. Your heart sinks. Oh no. Not the countdown!

Bucky notices the timer and shoots you a look. “What happens when that hits zero?”

You scratch the back of your neck. “Um, you’re not gonna like this, but... I think it triggers some sort of self-destruct sequence? Maybe. I’m not entirely sure.”

Bucky glares at you. “You think?”

“Look, I was going for high stakes when I wrote it, okay? I didn’t expect to actually be here!” you blurt out, throwing your hands up.

He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re a disaster.”

“I know! But it’s not my fault! Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your villain persona together when you’re staring at all this?” You gesture to him dramatically, feeling flustered. “You’re like... ripped.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard by your sudden compliment. “Excuse me?”

“I said what I said!” you huff. “You’re ripped, and it’s distracting, okay?”

He shakes his head, still looking at you like you’re crazy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’ve been told that before,” you reply with a grin, trying to distract him while you figure out what to do next. “But seriously, can we stop the countdown? Because I really don’t want to blow up right now.”

Bucky takes a step forward, eyes narrowing. “Then stop playing around and fix this.”

You fumble for the control panel, desperately pressing buttons at random. The countdown speeds up, and you wince. 

“Oh no, I think I made it worse.”

Bucky grabs your wrist, yanking you away from the panel. “Stop touching things if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“YOU TOLD ME TO FIX THIS!” you protest, but Bucky’s death glare shuts you up immediately. You shrink back, feeling the weight of his grip on your wrist as he pulls you away from the panel.

“You’re making it worse,” he growls, letting go of you. “Just… stand there and do nothing.”

You cross your arms, pouting. “Not my fault this whole thing’s a dumpster fire. I wrote it, but I didn’t think I’d have to live it.”

Bucky ignores your muttering as he works on the control panel, trying to figure out how to disable the countdown. You watch him for a moment, eyes trailing over his arms as they flex with every movement.

Focus, Y/N. Now’s not the time for ogling. Well… maybe just a little ogling.

"How are you so calm during all this?” you ask, hoping to break the tension—and maybe sneak in a little more flirting. “I mean, you’re literally disarming a self-destruct sequence with those gorgeous, dangerous hands of yours. It’s honestly distracting.”

Bucky doesn’t even look up, but you swear you see a flicker of a smirk. “You’re the one who set this off in the first place. Shouldn’t you be handling it?”

“Look, if you weren’t here being all Captain Broody and Muscles McGee, maybe I could think straight,” you snap back. “I can’t be held responsible for the chaos you create just by standing there.”

He finally glances at you, eyebrow raised. “You’re blaming me?”

“Well, yeah!” you say, gesturing wildly. “I was trying to be a villain, but have you seen yourself? How am I supposed to be evil when you look like you just stepped out of a superhero calendar?”

Bucky rolls his eyes, turning back to the control panel, but you catch a flicker of amusement in his expression. You might be bad at villainy, but at least you’re good at throwing him off.

You lean back against the wall, pretending to be casual as your heart pounds in your chest. “So... once we stop the countdown and we’re not blown to smithereens, what do you say we grab a drink? You know, to celebrate not dying.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Bucky mutters, still focused on the panel.

“I’ll stop talking when you stop being hot,” you fire back without missing a beat.

Bucky finally stops what he’s doing and looks at you, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Are you flirting with me right now? While we’re about to blow up?”

You give him a sheepish grin. “Hey, if we’re going down, might as well go out swinging. Or... flirting.”

“Unbelievable,” Bucky mutters under his breath before turning back to the countdown. With one final movement, he manages to disable the timer, and the red numbers blink out.

You let out a long breath, slumping in relief. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t entirely screw things up.”

Bucky stands up straight, glaring at you with his arms crossed. “You almost killed us.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t,” you say, flashing him a grin. “So technically, I saved us. You’re welcome.”

“You’re impossible.”

“I prefer ‘charmingly chaotic,’” you reply with a wink. “But sure, impossible works too.”

Bucky shakes his head, clearly exasperated. “You’re lucky you didn’t blow up your own lair.”

“See? Lucky. I’m like a walking good luck charm,” you say, giving him a playful nudge. “So, about that drink—”

“Not happening,” he interrupts, cutting you off.

You sigh dramatically. “You’re no fun.”

Bucky steps closer, leaning in so his face is just inches from yours. For a split second, you think he might actually be considering it. But then he says, “You still owe me for almost killing us. Get moving before I change my mind.”

You blink up at him, trying to ignore how flustered you feel. “You know, for someone who’s supposed to be a hero, you’re awfully grumpy.”

“And for someone who’s supposed to be a villain, you’re terrible at it,” he shoots back.

You can’t help but grin. “Fair point. But hey, I never said I was good at being bad. I’m more of a... chaotic neutral.”

Bucky shakes his head again and walks toward the door, clearly done with the conversation. “Let’s go. And try not to trigger another self-destruct sequence.”

Before you can even muster a comeback—probably something sarcastic about how it’s hard to be a villain when you’re distracted by muscles—you suddenly feel a strange tug, like someone’s yanking you backward by an invisible rope.

Your eyes widen. “Wait, what—”

The room starts spinning. One second, you’re staring at Bucky’s very serious, very grumpy face, and the next, it feels like the entire lair is collapsing around you. Everything blurs together in a whirl of colors and lights.

“OH MY GOD, AM I DYING?!” you scream, arms flailing as you try to hold onto something, anything. But there’s nothing. Not even Bucky’s annoyed expression to anchor you.

For a brief, panicked moment, you’re convinced this is it. This is how you go out. Flung into the void for writing bad fanfiction. What a way to go.

Then, with a pop, you land face-first into... your bed.

You blink, completely disoriented. “Wait... what just happened?”

Your laptop sits open beside you, the fanfic document staring you in the face like it’s mocking you. Your head is spinning, your heart racing, and you slowly sit up, still convinced you might be hallucinating.

“No way...” you mutter, glancing around your bedroom, taking in the very non-evil surroundings. The smell of laundry detergent. The sound of traffic outside. Your cat, Felix, staring at you from the corner with a look that clearly says, What the hell was that?

“I’m... back?” You pat yourself down, making sure you’re all in one piece. No villain outfit, no lair, no brooding super-soldiers demanding you fix things. Just... reality.

It hits you like a ton of bricks. “Oh my God, I got kicked out of my own fanfic.”

You collapse backward onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I didn’t even get to redeem myself! Or finish flirting with Bucky! Not that I was doing a good job, but still!”

Felix hops onto the bed and meows at you, completely unimpressed with your current existential crisis.

You groan, pulling the laptop onto your lap and staring at the screen. “Well... I guess this is better than being trapped in my own chaotic, terrible story. But man, I was so close to redeeming myself. Kinda.”

Felix bats at your laptop as if to remind you of your priorities.

“Fine, fine,” you mutter, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “I guess I’ll just... write the rest of the story like a normal person.”

You pause, glancing at Felix. “Do you think Bucky misses me?”

Felix’s blank stare is the only response you get.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh dramatically. “He probably doesn’t even remember me. I didn’t even get to finish my evil monologue.”

You sit up on your bed, still reeling from your sudden ejection from the fanfic world. Your brain is buzzing with one thought: I need to go back.

Sure, your villainous arc had gone off the rails, but you were so close to turning things around. And, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to try a redemption arc when it means more time with Bucky?

You rub your temples, staring at your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe. “Okay, okay... maybe if I just... concentrate hard enough, I can get back in. That’s how it works, right?”

Felix watches you with his usual disapproving stare as you gather all the determination you can muster and lean in toward the laptop screen.

“Come on, just suck me back into the fanfic,” you mutter, inching closer to the screen, squinting at it as if somehow willing yourself back into the story would do the trick. “Please?”

Nothing.

You frown. “Alright, time for desperate measures.”

With a deep breath, you slam your forehead into the laptop screen.

Thud.

“Ow!” you yelp, clutching your head as Felix meows at you like, What is wrong with you?

“That didn’t work,” you mutter, rubbing your forehead. “Okay, let’s try something else.”

You get up, pacing back and forth. “What did I do last time? Maybe if I type something... yeah, that’s it! I’ll just type myself back in!”

You sit back down, hands flying over the keyboard as you try to rewrite yourself back into the fanfic.

“Y/N is sucked back into the story... um... gracefully and... with a cool villain pose!” you type, nodding to yourself. “Yeah, perfect.”

You press enter with a dramatic flourish and then wait.

...

Nothing happens.

You stare at the screen, blinking. “Okay, rude.”

Felix hops up onto the desk, flicking his tail in annoyance as if to say, Even I know this is a terrible plan.

“Oh, shut up,” you grumble at the cat, shaking your head. “Maybe it needs more drama.”

You jump up from your chair and dramatically yell, “I SUMMON THEE, FANFICTION WORLD! BRING ME BACK TO BUCKY!”

Felix stares at you, completely unimpressed.

Still nothing.

“Why is this so hard?” you groan, leaning over your laptop like you’re trying to psychically connect with it. “Come on, take me back! Just throw me back into the chaos! I’ll do better this time, I swear!”

In a fit of frustration, you try slapping the screen. Then gently caressing it. Then hugging the laptop like it’s some magical portal that just needs a little love.

Felix meows again, this time louder, as if to say, Seriously, stop embarrassing yourself.

“Fine!” you huff, letting go of the laptop. “Maybe I need to... I don’t know, meditate my way back in. Channel my inner villain.”

You sit cross-legged on the bed, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. “I am a powerful, misunderstood villainess. Bucky Barnes cannot resist my charm. Take me baaaaack...”

Silence.

Your eyes pop open and you look around. Still in your bedroom. Felix gives you an unimpressed side-eye.

“Ugh!” you groan, throwing yourself backward onto the bed in defeat. “I’m stuck here. Forever.”

Then, out of nowhere, your phone buzzes. You lazily grab it, fully prepared to ignore the world, when you see the time.

Your eyes widen in horror. “Oh no... I’m late for work!”

You leap off the bed, tossing Felix an apologetic look. “Sorry, gotta go! Villainy will have to wait! Please don’t tell anyone how badly this went!”

In your panic, you nearly trip over your slippers as you rush to grab your bag and dash for the door, realizing that while you might have been kicked out of your fanfic, real life is waiting—and it doesn’t care how close you were to a redemption arc.

As you race to get ready, you can’t help but mumble to yourself, “I swear, next time I get sucked into a fanfic, I’m writing myself as the hero... and with a better wake-up plan.”

[wonderlandwalker]

Against All Odds | James Potter x Reader

Marauders Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Nobody anticipated this game of strip poker between the four friends. It’s only when James loses his cool that the game ends

Content Warnings/Tags: mostly fluff, insinuations of smut, alcohol consumption, wolfstar as a side plot

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: a small attempt at dipping my toes in the smut world. Divider by @saradika

Not one of you knows how you got into this situation. With strangers, this probably would have been easier. Won’t have to deal with the consequences that way. But now, Remus, Sirius, James and you are all sitting on the floor with a bottle of fire whiskey in the middle, playing poker. strip poker.

You were probably the one with the best odds in the game. Your brother had taught you, but at a young age, you were never very good at it. You have gotten better while you grew older, your fate sometimes resting on your poker face after starting to hang out with the pranksters that the marauders are.

Remus was the second-best player in the group. He was good, very good, but he had a tell. Sirius figured it out before he even played against him, his tell shining through even when he wasn't playing. You figured it out in your first game against him.

Sirius came next. He had learned from his father, who thought it important for his son to learn when he was only eleven. It is probably unnecessary to say they didn't have the best relationship.

James’ poker skills were close to Sirius’, but his poker face wasn't as good as his. He learned to play in his 4th year at Hogwarts. He had snuck into a Slytherin party with Remus and Sirius. But after they had been gone for quite longer than it took to ‘find something to drink’ he guessed that wasn't what they were up to anymore, and found the game a few of the older years were playing to occupy himself.

But somehow, Remus was winning. He had only won from you twice. Once when you were distracted, your head not being in the game. Once when you had drank a tad too much dragon barrel brandy. Remus knew he couldn't win from you when you were trying. So he knew you weren't.

The only reason Remus hadn't lost yet was because he started with a lot of layers. You started in a dress and had already taken off your cardigan, making a show of it. Remus was still almost fully clothed, having taken off his jumper when he lost against you, but having been wearing a shirt underneath. Sirius started out in his standard attire and had lost both his signature leather jacket and his shirt underneath.

Remus won again, and it started to bother him. He knew he wasn't cheating, but it wasn't right either. He was the type of guy who wanted to win fairly and started to itch when he didn't.

James lost, but didn't seem to mind. Before he could take off another piece of clothing, you leaned over the stack of cards that was between you. Your face didn't show much of what you were planning, but before he could wonder all too much, you slowly started to take off the tie of the uniform he had been wearing, not accidentally giving him a front-row seat to the view of your chest while you were leaning over. He decided that this was one of the few times he really didn't mind losing.

When you were finished, you loosely fastened his tie around your own neck, letting it fall over the v-line of your dress. Knowing your company, you knew normally one of them would argue that this was against the rules of the game, but given the amount of alcohol consumed and the number of longing glances exchanged, you knew you were no longer playing very strictly.

A little further along in the game, both Sirius and James barely had any clothes left to remove, and while they didn't seem to mind it, Remus started to get increasingly nervous when Sirius would have to strip another article of clothing.

By now, Remus still had his trousers and shirt on. You were left in only your dress, having taken off your stockings when you lost a little while back.

The next round was dealt, and while you were playing, it slowly started to become unmistakably obvious you were trying to lose. While there was a small attempt from one of them not to make you end at the bottom, keeping someone from not losing proved harder than keeping someone from winning. When the round was over and there was no doubt you had lost, you switched your gaze from the cards in front of you, to James, your face seeming innocent but your eyes were playing an entirely different game.

“Would you mind unzipping me?” You ask with the purest voice James had heard from you all evening. You turned around and sat on your knees with your back against him. Carefully he put your hair over one of your shoulders, a shaky sigh leaving his lips in the process. He had seen you naked more than enough times, but drunken strip poker with your two best friends was another thing entirely.

Slowly he moved the zipper down your back, and apart from the sound of the fabric moving, the room was quiet as could be, not helping to relieve any of his tension. When the zipper started to reach your lower back, James realized you weren't wearing a strapless bra as he had originally assumed. Not wearing one was something that happened more often than not when you wore a tight dress like this, the thought of this had however not passed his mind until the moment his hand passed over the bare skin of your back. Once the zipper had reached its end, when you stood back up, you patiently started to move the material down your body. While doing so, you did not seem to notice the awkward energy radiating off Remus, who was currently looking anywhere besides the show you were putting on for James.

Until James couldn't take it any longer

The moment the dress dropped from your figure to the floor, not one single person in the room had a similar reaction. Remus was looking down at his feet, suddenly fascinated by the pattern of the floorboards. Sirius didn't have much of a reaction at all, he had seen you naked before and was currently focused on how entertainingly flustered James looked. James seemed to jump into protective mode right after, either that or he was trying to distract himself from the tightness that was growing in his trousers while in the presence of your friends. He grabbed his jacket from the floor while he sprang up, and hastily put it on you. But that did not seem like enough for him just yet. He bent down a little and placed one of his arms under your knees and the other around your back, and lifted you from the floor. At James’ sudden move, you made a sound that seemed to represent both surprise and excitement.

“That's it, we're leaving” James stated, walking towards the door with you without awaiting a reaction from either of your friends. When the door shut behind him, Sirius and Remus were left alone, both looking at each other, uncertain what to do next, because you might have left the room, but the tension didn't leave with you.

[jezabelle9299]

Halloween S.R x Fem!Reader

Overture- You and Spencer are the only ones wearing costumes in the bureau this Halloween, he just got called in for a case, and you're dropping some things off for your roommate (Y/R/N). I want it to be fall so bad, it's 90 degrees where I live and my car does not have A/C. Also reader is a weeping angel from doctor who, which is essentially a creature that while it is being perceived by anyone looks like a statue (Specifically of an angel usually), very freaky, but reader's costume is a little more cutesy. (They're also only in the second iteration of the show, but as far as I'm concerned Spencer and reader are still matching.)

C-Ws- It's all fluff, there's a kiss? Teasing, reader is referred to as a girl, wears makeup, heels, dresses, etc, holding hands, they're like in love almost immediately.

Your roommate forgot the paperwork she needed. Again. This time she called you while you were on your way out the door to your halloween plans, begging you for a stack of files she definitely was not supposed to take home, that were nevertheless on your dining room table. This was far from the first time she’d asked you to bring her something, but it was the first time she said she wouldn’t meet you in the lobby or the coffee shop around the block. She was, in her words, “Chained to her desk”. So she required you to actually check in with security, and bring her files to her desk. The lovely kicker being that you were already in full costume.

She shut down your contesting with the promise of making her amazing pumpkin bread when she got home.So you swallowed your ego as you took one last look in the mirror. Your costume was cute, verging on sexy, but dorky enough to keep it from fully reaching that point. You were a weeping angel from Doctor Who. You were in a short gray dress with a stone pattern, gray tights with accompanying high heels, and gray lace gloves with don’t blink embroidered on them. The look was completed with some small angel wings and makeup that was smokey enough to tow the line between sexy and spooky. 

You walked into the building files in hand, up to the security desk. After picking up your visitor pass, you made your way to the elevators. Safely alone in the silver box, the doors started to close. That is, until someone turns on their side to slide through them. He’s exhausted, after clearly running through the lobby somehow not spilling the coffee in his hand. He was also in costume, giving you huge relief after passing all of the serious suit-clad agents in the lobby.

You smiled at his choice in costume, he was dressed as the 4th doctor, making your costumes kind of match. The doors closed once again and you stood side by side in silence. He was looking at you, almost like he was trying to figure out what you were. You expected this of course, but he clearly watched the show. Until he cleared his throat as you were approaching the 2nd floor. 

“I’m sorry-Hi-sorry I just, I have to ask. Are you… a weeping angel? You smiled at that. He did get it. But you pushed down some of your excitement to make an attempt at a cool headed response.

“I am! I’ll be very disappointed if that was an odd pickup line and not a guess.” His eyes got as big as saucers, and he put his hands out like he was trying to stop a runaway train, still clutching a coffee cup in his right hand, but doing the motion all the same. 

“No!-That’s-It was a guess. It’s a great costume.” 

“Thank you, I like yours too, a doctor dressed as the doctor.” You said that referencing the ID tag hanging from his bag, but he looked.. Skeptical? 

“How did you know I was a doctor?” He was just too cute. He worked at the FBI and couldn’t seem to gather that his name tag was giving him away? You just gave a small giggle and pointed to the plastic. When he looked down confused, he came back up embarrassed. Then the elevator did a final chime as the doors opened to the 5th floor.

“I guess on that note, this is my stop. Will I see you around the building?” He looked hopeful in a way that made you wish the elevator hadn’t stopped just so you could spend a few more minutes with him. That is, until you realized you also needed to get off at this floor. 

“Actually, could you help me? I’m supposed to drop some stuff off for my roommate, but I don’t know where her desk is. It's somewhere on this floor.” 

“Definitely-sure, what’s her name I can-” He was cut off by a man who was the epitome of the phrase ‘Tall, dark, and handsome.’ Not your type, but very classically handsome.

“Well, well, well, pretty boy who did you bring to work?” He reached his hand out to you, but you were busy with some extreme embarrassment, feeling even more out of place than you had in the lobby. The man next to you was’t better, his face reading as exhausted and humiliated. You eventually pulled your mouth shut where it was agape and offered your hand back to him. 

“Im Y/N, I'm actually just dropping some things off for my roommate, Y/R/N. Dr.Reid and I only met in the elevator, just similar tastes in costumes I guess!” Now the embarrassment that was once dawning on your face, dawned on him as he realized his error.

“Apologies for the presumption, I’m Derek Morgan, I work with Spencer.” 

You just couldn’t stop the words that came out next. “No worries, I should be so lucky to accompany Dr.Reid.” Derek raised his eyebrows in a small expression of shock and clapped a now beet red Spencer on the shoulder. 

“Well it was lovely to meet you Y/N, I would love to leave you two to it believe me but we’ve got a case.” You forced yourself to look Spencer in the eye again. 

“It was nice to meet you Derek and you too Dr. Reid.” Derek gave you a smile and a nod as he turned back to head up a small staircase, but Dr. Reid didn’t follow him. 

“You can call me Spencer, Dr. Reid is too formal for someone wearing this silly of a costume.” 

“I happen to like your costume, Spencer. And as much as I’d love to keep talking to you, your boss is staring at us.” you gestured to the dark haired stern man in a suit looking down at you from the door to the conference room. 

“Happy Halloween Spencer, I hope I’ll see you around.” You turned back towards the clusters of desks and started looking for the one your roommate was sitting in. It didn’t take long to find her despite the hustle and bustle still crowding the floor at this late hour. When you spotted her she was fixated on even more paperwork, not noticing you until you approached her desk. 

“Thank you so much, you are my savior. I promise that pumpkin bread is coming your way.” You laughed at the unnecessary seriousness with which she said that. 

“Thank you, and it’s no biggie since I was going out anyway. But I do need to ask you something. Spencer– Dr. Reid, is he single?”

“Wow, you’ve been here 5 minutes and you’ve already found your dork match. I saw him walking with Hotch a second ago, you’re even matching!” She was keeled over and cackling, when you stomped your heeled foot to get her to stop and answer your question. She pretended to wipe tears of laughter from her eyes just to rub salt in the wound. 

“Ok, ok, yes he’s single as far as I know, but I’m not setting you up. If you’d like to do something about your freaky little crush, you can leave a note on his desk.” She pointed to a neatly kept desk, piled high with books on every subject. 

“They have a case, so he’ll probably be out of town for a few days, but he might see it before they leave. No go on, do, and get out of here. I do still have a job to do, and no offense, but you’re kind of making me look ridiculous by association.” She tossed a notepad with a purple pen clipped to it towards you. You grumbled a quick thanks, still annoyed by the dig at your costume. But you jotted down a quick note, hopeful he’d see it sooner rather than later,, because it would be all the more humiliating if he’d forgotten about you before he saw it. 

Spencer, 

I only got to talk to you for a few minutes but I’d like to get to know you more in a place with less costumes and government agents watching over us. Call me if you’d like to go out sometime ♥️ 

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX

You drew a small pair of angel wings as a signature, then left it on his desk on your way back to the elevators. 

When Spencer left the round table, with only 30 minutes before he needed to be on the plane he made a beeline to Y/R/N’s desk approaching cautiously with a small wave. 

“Hi– Sorry to bother you, but I was talking to your roommate earlier, and I was wondering–” She cut him off, putting her hand up to stop him in his tracks. 

“I’ll tell you what I told Y/N. I’m not getting involved in this cute freaky little thing you guys have going on. Check your desk, go on your case, thank me later.” He turned back towards his desk, made it about two steps before turning back. This time with a hopeful look on his face.

“What you told her? Did she– Did she ask about me?” Y/R/N just rolled her eyes and refocused on her paperwork. 

“Goodbye Dr.Reid.” She left no room for argument, so he turned back to his desk, later finding your note neatly placed on top of some files. He read it twice, just to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming. He felt like he was in a high school movie, with the prettiest girl passing him a note in class. He was just getting lost in that train of thought, when he saw the rest of the team heading for the elevator bank, ready for the case. He’d gotten so distracted mooning over your note, he’d run out of time to change. He’d have to make his best attempt to get into his regular clothes in the small airplane bathroom.

It was a fast case, a spree killer in Georgia they were able to catch by sunrise the next day. He’d re-read your note maybe 20 times in less than 12 hours, even though he remembered every word, garnering significantly more teasing from Derek, along with the rest of the team after he caught them up. He could tell they were all happy for him though, despite the teasing. 

When they landed back in Quantico he swiftly deboarded the plane, and headed home paperwork in hand, to be done later. He’d typically do it at his desk, but he wanted to call you with minimal chance for interruption.

It was barely 6am. It was your day off, and your phone was still ringing. Normally you’d check and see if you could ignore it, but you couldn’t even gather the energy to look before answering. Luckily you didn’t drink last night, so you weren’t hungover, but even without that added layer of discomfort you were not in the mood to be up and talking to people. So you grumbled a dreary hello into the line, eyes still closed. 

“Hey– Hi, I’m sorry, I woke you up.I just– we just got back from that case and I wanted to know if you wanted to..go out? Tonight? If you don’t have other plans, that is.” You perked up at the sound of his voice, and fully shot up in your bed when he asked you out. You weren’t tired anymore. 

“I’d love to! I actually have tickets to this  re-showing of the original Frankenstein, if you'd like to go with me?” You could hear a shaky exhale coming from his side of the line. 

“That sounds great! What time should I pick you up?”

“8 o’clock would be perfect.”

“Awesome–I’ll uh, I’ll see you then.” 

“Ok, bye Spencer. Now go get some rest? I’m assuming you haven’t slept yet?” You were sure he could hear the smile in your voice. 

“You would be correct. I’ll do that, and I’ll see you tonight?” You said your goodbyes, hung up, and squealed into your pillows. You were up for good now, but luckily that gave you more time to plan. You wandered to the kitchen to make your roommate some of the expensive coffee you usually saved for special occasions as a bribe for her to break her silence about Spencer. She told you he was a literal genius, a fact that did not help your nervousness. She also told you he was a behavioral analyst, that he didn’t like touch, and that he was from Vegas. That was all she’d tell you before heading out the door a half hour early, while denying any further questions. 

Then you threw on some sweats, removed the last bit of makeup that was clinging on from the night before and headed out the door. You got another coffee, before picking up some of the things you needed around the house, in addition to things that would help you feel ready for your date. You’d gone on a few, but not enough to feel like you knew what to expect, and you were usually focused on making sure the person you were out with didn’t think you were dorky or weird, but that was kind of out the window already. 

You were already supposed to go to lunch with some of your friends, so you chose to ask their advice. They were the only people you could really trust with that sort of thing, but that didn’t stop you from immediately looking up every trashy advice column you could find online, most of which were filled with categorically horrible advice, but it was a great way to kill time. 

Once it was all said and done, you decided to start getting ready 3 hours early, taking a long shower, spending almost a half hour getting your eyeliner to be perfectly even, instead of the sort-of even you usually settled for. You threw on a comfortable skirt, with a form fitting sweater and some matching boots to keep you warm in the cold theater. Ultimately you were glad you got ready early, as it was still 10 till 8 when Spencer was knocking on your door. He looked petrified. In a good way?

“Wow– you look, wow. I’m–uh sorry I’m so early. I was just–really excited for this.” You smiled, and gave yourself a little internal high five that you picked the right outfit. 

“It’s ok, I’m really excited too.” Then you gave yourself a second to really look at him, no costumes this time. His hair was different–good different. He was dressed really nice too, in a polka dot button up, with a purple sweater vest, and a black tie tucked into it crooked. At first he was staring back at you, studying you as you were him, until some insecurity crept onto both of your faces at the close observation. You straightened your posture as much as you could, and asked if he was ready. When he gave a shaky exhale and a resounding yes, he walked you from your apartment door with a hesitant, almost hovering touch on your lower back before arriving at his car, only removing his hand as he opened the door for you. 

He played classical music, and you talked about your days, his case, and your Halloween plans from the previous evening. When you arrived at the theater his hand once again found your lower back, until you got in the concessions line, when he dropped it to brush your wrist before looking to your face. 

“Is this…alright?” He moved closer to clasp your hands together as you smiled up at him. 

“It’s more than ok, although I am kind of surprised.” You maintained your smile so he would know it wasn’t nervousness or reluctance, but confusion painted his face at the perceived contradiction. 

“Y/R/N said that you weren’t a big fan of touch with people you don’t know very well.” 

“She said that?”

Oh. I guess that’s not something someone would say out of the blue. 

“Yeah I sort of–asked about you. Is that too weird?” He blushed at that and a little of your anxiety dissipated. 

“I don’t think it’s weird, I tried to ask her about you but she sent me away so I could find your note. Which was definitely better, by the way.” The idea of him liking your note sent you into the stratosphere. 

“She wouldn’t tell me anything about you either at first, which is why I wrote the note. Which I’m glad you liked, I was worried it was too dorky. But I got her to tell me a little bit about you by bribing her with coffee this morning.” He laughed a little at that, and you realized how easy it was with him. I mean not that you were particularly experienced, but you were certain they weren’t usually this natural. You were pulled from spiraling into that train of thought when you realized there was only one person ahead of you in line, and Spencer spoke. 

“What would you like? I think they have most of the regular snack and candy things, but they might have real food if you’re hungry. I’ve never actually been to this theater before, I didn’t know they did re-showings here.”

“Me neither, I only found out about this because I saw something for it online. But a cherry coke would be great. And if you’re sure you don’t mind my germs we could share some popcorn?” 

“Popcorn sounds great.” And without a second thought he kissed your hands where they were laced together. He was just about to horrifiedly ask you if he took it too far, when you giggled and smiled like there was nowhere else you’d rather be, and no one else you’d rather be with. Truthfully there wasn’t.

You got your concessions from the apathetic teenager behind the counter, and quickly found your seats in the back of the theater. You’d gotten there well before the movie started, so Spencer told you all of the fun facts he could think of. And as shocked as you were that he knew them, he was even more surprised he’d found someone to listen to them. 

After sitting in one spot for so long, you were starting to feel the exhaustion from this morning creep back in. Emboldened by the fact your hands were still clasped, you decided to lay your head against his arm. His button-up was surprisingly soft and you had to fight the urge to fully rest the side of your face on him, in an effort to not get makeup on his mostly-white shirt. He relaxed into your touch immediately, giving you the validation you needed that it was ok. 

When you left the theater, and climbed into his car once again, you talked, but the conversation was decidedly less nervous. You talked about your friends, your job, and your family, and he talked about the coworkers he loved as family. When you arrived back at home he walked you to the door. Had it been anyone else you would have assumed that was a ploy to stay the night, but you felt like you’d known Spencer much longer than you had, and were certain that was not why. So you let him, and when you reached the door, his hand finding yours once again, he pulled you in for the best first kiss. 

His lips were a little bit chapped, you’d seen him biting his inner lip a few times when he got especially bashful, so you kind of expected it, but his hands found your face, and his touch was so reassuring it melted all of your nerves away. When he pulled away, you were both beet red and smiling. 

“Can I see you again tomorrow?” 

“I’d like that, as long as you don’t have to go away for work.” You were on cloud nine, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up for a second date to happen tomorrow, his work schedule was unpredictable, and you wanted to be as prepared for that as possible.

“Dear god, I hope not. Tomorrow already feels far away. I’ll make reservations and I’ll take you to dinner? When would be an alright time to pick you up?” You wouldn’t usually like someone offering to drive you twice in a row, but Spencer didn’t even sound like he was offering, it was just a given. 

“I get off work at 6, so I could be ready at 7?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Goodnight Y/N” And with that he placed another kiss on your hand as you said goodnight, before he let go, and headed back to the parking lot. 

[mopopshop]

Secret Plays

Summary: For three months, you've been secretly dating Diana Taurasi, your Phoenix Mercury teammate. Despite trying to keep it private, Diana's flirtatious behavior makes it hard to hide.

I made an OC for this one too bcs once again i hate using y/n in my writing and for my DT works reader is always gonna be 30+ bcs i don’t do huge huge age gaps like that 🧍🏾‍♀️

love y’all please enjoy !!🫶���🫶🏾

You and DT had been together secretly for about three months now, most of the team knew, coach suspected, but most importantly none of the public did. 

You were no longer considered a rookie as it’s your 7th year in the league. You came to the Mercury shortly after your 30th birthday and a great off-season overseas. You immediately caught Diana’s attention when you’d showed up for the first day of training camp, standing there awkwardly as coach introduced you to the rest of the team. 

From then on, Diana couldn’t not be around you, making any little excuse to be in your presence. Grabbing a new ball from storage? she tagged along, your shoes untied? immediately kneeling down to do it for you, walking to your car after practice? she’s right there with you. 

All the flirtatious tension between you two finally bubbled over at a team dinner that basically turned into a first date between you and D. The two of you had snuck off and spent the whole night talking and getting to know each other better. Eventually D drove you home, walked you to your door and that’s where you had shared your first kiss, after you pulled apart she whispered a husky “goodnight” in your ear and kissed your hand before reluctantly leaving in her car. You hadn’t stopped smiling for at least a week after the fact, giggling and blushing at the thought.

All that leading to the present day, you and D wee content with keeping your relationship out of the public eye. You weren’t ashamed of each other in any way but it’s peaceful and keeps nosy press out of your space.

Not that Diana’s good at keeping said secret though and especially at this game. 

It was Phoenix VS. Dallas and from the moment the team had stepped out on the court for warm ups D couldn’t keep her hands off you. 

Coach had you practicing shooting in a line to get loosened up and of course Diana had to be directly behind you, her hands grasping your waist while you waited your turn.

You whip around in her hold, trying to discreetly push her hands off “D I swear on everythi-“

She cuts you off, throwing her hands up in surrender “Just being a supportive teammate!”

“By touching my ass?”

“They weren’t even on your ass, I put my hands there to-“

You tune her out as Kaleah turns and tosses you the ball, catching it and effortlessly making a 3 before making your way to the back of the line. Diana’s right behind you still defending her previous actions and you cut her off quickly, putting a finger to her lips. 

“Hands off, behave.” you say trying to give your best stern look.

She has a big goofy smile on her face, nothing going on in that head of hers “You’re so pretty” she whispers, grabbing your hand from her lips and attempting to lace your fingers together.

You scoff, rolling your eyes and shoving her playfully. Her laugh explodes from behind you and for the rest of warmups you have to continuously remind her to keep her hands to herself because of the onslaught of cameras surrounding you. 

Even during the game she doesn’t stop, as much as you pretend to be annoyed you secretly love how clingy she is today. During quick huddles on the court she has her arm wrapped around your waist and even on the bench she’s got her hand on your thigh, not even paying attention to the game at times she’s just making conversation with you. 

Needless to say she doesn’t give a flying fuck that there’s thousands of fans and cameras around to catch her behavior. 

The game is  pretty neck and neck up until the 4th quarter when Dee makes a game winning shot, naturally, as she always does. The locker room was exploding with noise, the team hyped up on the excitement from winning. Shortly after, your team manager pulled you, Diana, and, Sophie into the press room for some questions. 

 Of course coach puts you and D right next to each other, you’re just praying that she behaves when there’s press directly in front of her face.

 Your prayers are ignored immediately when D puts her hand on your inner thigh, pinching it to get you to laugh. You try to keep your composure but the urge to burst out laughing is overwhelming. You turn to her to see that she’s not even looking at the room in front of her, her head is propped on her free hand as she’s turned towards you smirking. 

“Pay attention” you mouth 

She smiles wider, shaking her head and continues to mess with you. Finally a question is directed towards her and you hope it will get her to focus. 

“Um this one’s for Diana, You have stated multiple times that you see yourself as a sort of mentor for Audrey since she’s joined the team, how do you think that’s translated onto the court?” 

Diana straightens up slightly, but her hand remains on your thigh. She looks at the reporter and then back at you before finally addressing the question.

"Well," Diana starts, her voice steady and confident, "Audrey came to us with a lot of skill and potential. It's been a pleasure to work with her, not that there was much to change ‘cause she’s already so… talented and smart and brilliant-"

“Oh my god” you groan out, hiding your head in your hands.

She chuckles in the middle of her sentence, glancing at you “Nah, I’m kidding, I’m kidding well not really but anyways-“

You smack her bicep, laughing lightly “Jesus, D”

“Anyways! Anyways, you can see that she's become more confident and assertive. We've developed a great.. chemistry,” she sends you a quick wink that makes you blush “and have gotten much closer, which I think is evident in how we play together."

You nod along, trying to maintain a professional demeanor despite the sensation of Diana's fingers gently tracing patterns on your thigh.

The next question comes your way. "Audrey, what has it been like working so closely with Diana Taurasi? How has her mentorship influenced your game?"

You take a deep breath, trying to focus solely on the question. "Working with D has been incredible. She's pushed me to be better every day, and her confidence in me has really helped elevate my game. Even though I’ve been in the league for a while, my level of experience is nowhere near hers.. clearly” you chuckle make a snide but playful remark about her age and she shoves you lightly “And I feel like I've grown a lot as a player because of her guidance."

Diana gives your thigh a light squeeze, a silent acknowledgment of your words. The press conference continues with more questions, and you manage to keep your composure through it all, even as Diana's hand remains a constant, teasing presence.

After what feels like an eternity, the press conference finally wraps up. As you stand up to leave, Diana places her hand on your lower back to guide you out of the room, leaning in close and whispering in your ear, "You did great."

You can't help but smile. "You’re fucking impossible, you know that?"

She grins, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Only for you."

Back in the locker room, the team is still buzzing with excitement from the win. You and Diana slip away for a moment of privacy in a quieter corner. She pulls you into a gentle kiss, her lips soft and warm against yours.

"I can't help it," she murmurs when you pull away, resting her forehead against yours. "I just want to be close to you."

You chuckle, brushing a strand of hair back that’d escaped from her bun "Yeah I know, I know but keep your hands to yourself when there’s thousands of people with their own cameras that can catch your fingers wandering in about 3,000 different angles and HD quality"

She sighs dramatically but nods. "Fine, fine. But only because you asked nicely."

Later that night when you’re cuddled up in bed, you finally check your phone and it’s… interesting to say the least.

—————————

username231: am i the only one seeing the tension between audrey and dt🤨

username231 replied: I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONEEE 

username231: did yall spot dt hugging audrey from behind during warmups???

username231: nobody told me the wnba had this much lesbian drama LMAO😭😭

username231: the way dt was looking at audrey during that press conference 😩😩😩 #meandwho

username231 replied: LITERALLYYYY and the way audrey couldn’t stop smiling ugh need that so bad

username231: the w is so gay cus wtf is going on w/ those players on the mercury 

———————

send more DT requests my loves

hope y’all liked it😓

[theunholybastard]

Kinktober: October 4th - Dry-Humping (Cardinal Copia x Gender-Neutral!Reader)

Tags: Established Relationship, Dry-Humping, Drunkenness, Desperation, Humiliation, Light Pet Play (If You Squint), Premature Ejaculation, Fluff And Smut, All The Papas Are Alive, First Person POV

I can't take Copia anywhere. It was supposed to be a nice, simple celebration dinner, to congratulate him on his success of joining the band. Who cares if he's not officially Papa just yet? It's still a momentous achievement for him, one he's been working for all his life, and I couldn't be prouder.

I've been with Copia since he first became a Cardinal, and I've known him for even longer. I know he's an intelligent, capable, hardworking man, someone with immeasurable patience and courtesy, a true gentleman; That is, until you get a few drinks in him.

It was Terzo who brought the wine. What I used to think was a kind gesture to show there was no ill-will between the two, turned out to be a revenge tactic to get Copia to embarrass himself in front of the whole Clergy. Copia smiled thankfully at him, and unable to resist, he poured himself a glass of wine. And then two. And then three.

Terzos smirk grew the more Copia drank, which only earned him a death glare from Sister Imperator, who saw through his whole schtick immediately. She'll surely have his head for this one. I unfortunately didn't notice, therefore couldn't stop Copia, until it was too late. We had to leave the dinner party early, Copia tripping, knocking things over, and making loud sexual remarks to me the whole time it took to drag him out. I could hear other members of the Clergy mumbling to Sister Imperator, asking if he was really the right man for the job.

"Oh, amore mio, you looked positively delicious tonight. I could barely keep my hands off you, topolino..." Copia purrs in my ear as I lay him down on the bed, wiping off his eye paints for him. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, I know. You said that earlier, in a room full of upper Clergy members, remember?" I scoff sarcastically, my cheeks still glowing with embarrassment. He only smiles dazily, as if he didn't retain a single word I said. "Così bello, così bello..." He mutters to himself, running his fingers through my hair. How can I stay mad at him when he's this cute?

"Uh huh. Now sit up, I gotta get you undressed." I order gently, hoping he will make this easier for me, but honestly, when has he ever? He chuckles. "I like your way of thinking, amore. My pants are getting so tight, I need to be freed of them..." He winks, or at least I think he attempted to. He's so drunk he just ended up blinking really hard. I am not amused.

I look down at his lap, and lo and behold, hes telling the truth. His tight pants are constricting over his massive erection, and his lack of underwear makes it so I can see the outline in great detail. It twitches visibly, making me blush, but I do not give into temptation. He's drunk, after all. "Copia, you need to get some rest."

"How can I sleep when my cock is awake?" He slurs, nuzzling his face into my neck, nibbling gently, and turning his body to press his hard-on against my thigh. "Your Cardinal hurts, topolino. Won't you help him?" He rocks his hips, grinding his clothed cock against me, whimpering into the crook of my neck. I laugh softly at his act of desperation.

"The answer is no, my love. But you are more than welcome to take care of yourself." I hum softly, deciding getting him ready for bed can wait till he gotten all his sexual frustrations out. I expected him to sloppily yank off his pants and jerk himself off, but it seems he had other plans. He rocks his hips forward again, his eyes rolling back at the friction.

"Oh, so that's how you wanna do this, hm? You wanna hump my leg like a dog?" I snicker. He swears under his breath, his thrusts speeding up. I didn't know my words would have such an effect on him, but I'm certainly not complaining. I continue. "This is what you wanted? To act like a pathetic, drooling mutt, desperate for pleasure?" He lets out a choked whine one could almost mistake for a sob, and nods, too caught up in his frantic self-gratification to respond verbally.

His movements are feverishly swift, like he needs to use my body to survive, panting and growling like a rabid animal. His hands harshly grope whatever part of my body he can reach. He will no doubt be repeatedly apologizing later for the fingertip-shaped bruises littering my hips and stomach, no matter how much I tell him I don't mind. I hold back a giggle at the thought, not that he would notice if I did in his frenzied state.

He's barely been going at this for a few minutes, and already his thrusts are becoming weaker, his little whimpers and grunts become louder and more frequent, and his face contorts tightly. Before I even recognize the pattern, a long sigh escapes his lips, his expression relaxes, and his tight pants are now dampened, cumming in record-breaking time.

"Cazzo...! I- I would've lasted longer, if it wasn't for this... g- goddamn wine..." He hiccups, slurring his words sleepily, and ending his sentence with a loud snore, officially passed out. I laugh. "Let's get you cleaned up, Cardinal." I say, tugging off his pants, throwing them in the overflowing hamper. Copia can deal with that load (literally) in the morning.

Once I managed to wrestle all of the sweat-dampened clothes off of his limp body, I lay back in bed with him, exhaling deeply. The things I do for this man, I think to myself. It's all worth it though, when I feel his warmth against me. He lets out a little noise of content, his mustache twitching. He subconsciously pulls me closer, and as our bodies intertwine, I let his soft breathing lull me to sleep. I think I could love him forever.

-

[justasecretflower]

Highschool! Jujutsu kaisen characters with an American! Transfer student HCS 🌸

~ fluff.

‼️Do not reblog my works‼️

_____________________________________

Satoru Gojo - canonically, he knows a bit of English, but for easier communication purposes all of the jjk guys can speak English and Japanese..

- orders snacks from America to try out with you

- I don’t think he’d hate on America or Americans but when you’d mess up a mission or lose during sparing he’d pull a joking “Classic American.”

- devours twinkies when he first gets them then orders like 50 more boxes. Refuses to share his twinkies.

- tells you he’s gonna take a trip over there when he’s older and has more freedom and eat all the best food. New York styled pizza, those huge milkshakes with like a waffle on top, triple cheeseburgers, he’s gonna take pictures of him eating it all and then frame it for you. (Don’t even ask.)

Geto Suguru - he’s more interested in the culture, i personally think. He likes to learn the proper greetings, weird customs, differences between Japan and America.

- he baked a classic southern dish once in secret and liked it..

- hates when Americans are overly patriotic. He pulls this face.

- more drawn to the west coast

Shoko ieri - makes fun of your accent. Yes, Americans have accents. Never actually mad or annoyed at it, just pokes fun.

- honestly doesn’t care as much as geto or Gojo. Like yeah, there’s other people from other countries and cultures, she’d already known that?

- honestly doesn’t care lol.

____________________________________

Yuji itadori- oh he knows about America alright. His wife lives there! (Jenifer Lawrence duh)

- finds all of the city’s interesting, definitely wants to watch a New York fashion show

- attempts to do a southern accent (either fails or does it scarily good)

- asks questions about schooling over there, specifically the dress code.

- pulls up to you one day decked out in American flags, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat and asks if you feel at home on 4th of July. If you told him about 4th of July.

Megumi fushiguro - another one that genuinely doesn’t care. He’s just like “oh alright cool”

- doesn’t make fun of you for an accent or poke fun at you for being American. He js genuinely doesn’t care.

- will watch the US reality tv shows and finds all the drama stupidly amusing.

Nobara kugisaki - also very interested in all the cities and fashion

- watches Victoria secret fashion shows with you if you like that. Or just New York fashion shows in general.

- critiques American style

- pls take her to LA, NYC, or Chicago she’s begging atp

- if she visited any of the cities she’d dress to the nines just to walk around in the city streets.

Aoi todo - interested in all of your celebrities you have other there.

- ends up finding a new celebrity crush and watches all of the movies she’s in.

- gossiping to u abt celebrity drama that YOU didn’t even know about before him.

- “this is y/n!! My American friend!!” “Todo you don’t have to introduce me to other people like that”

- yuji would prolly also say that line ngl

+ sequel! Teaching Satoru Gojo! To swear in English, Idea suggested by Chiefclown🤍

Thank you for reading :). Pls request some more JJK head canons with the “🌸” emoji!:)

Tags

[worldstarz]

shinjiro defends your honor against stupei

pairing: shinjiro aragaki x fem!reader (sees member)

summary: your leader wants to show you a video of the stone-cold shinjiro aragaki getting into a debate with junpei over ranking the girls. he gets very passionate over you.

tags: kinda shitpost ; feat. junpei + protag ; not proofread ; spoiler-free ; mutual pining

notes: just got to october 4th! wrote this to cope! i am not okay! also protag is called leader bc im not looking up his name to avoid spoilers. i’ll edit when i finish the game !!

———

“so if you press this button, the footage should start playing,” the leader points to the console, directing you on how to play the recordings. other than for meetings and before missions, you’ve never been in the command room before. hell, you didn’t even know there were cameras in the building until now.

the specific recording your leader wanted to show you is labeled ‘september 23 - lounge’. as you press the play button, the lights of the command room dim down as the video begins to play on the screen.

———

as expected, the recording shows the first floor lounge. shinjiro and junpei sit on the same couch, but at different ends.

“so, aragaki-senpai, what’s your ranking of all the girls in the building?” junpei leans back, hands behind his head. there is a considerable amount of distance between them, both physically and interpersonally, and junpei decided talking about the ladies is the best way to bridge that distance.

“why would i care?” shinjiro scoffs, his crossed arms not helping the already-tense air.

“oh, come on! with so many beautiful ladies here, you’ve gotta have a ranking by now! like, who’d you rather be alone in a room with? or see in a bikini?” junpei begins listing off the girls in an attempt to convince shinjiro to dig deep into his thoughts and desires. “there’s kirijo-senpai, with that air of elegance and maturity; yuka-tan, a pretty chick very popular among guys our age; fuuka, an all-around cutie; [name], who is… hm…” he didn’t even reach aigis before running out of adjectives. trying to think over his very limited dictionary, he briefly hesitates.

shinjiro visibly perks up upon hearing the last name listed. noticing this, junpei exaggerates his struggle to think.

“hm… what is there about [name]…” junpei rubs his chin, staring at his senpai as his face morphs from an expression of indifference to one of annoyance.

“you’re kidding me, right?” aragaki scowls, sitting up slightly. “you seriously can’t think of anything for [name]?”

“well, she’s just… eh…” junpei trails off. “i wouldn’t rank her very high.”

“i know you’re a moron, but i didn’t know you could be this much of a dumbass,” he leans forward. without even raising his voice, the simple action caused an air of intimidation around him that could be felt even through the screen. “the hell do you mean ‘you wouldn’t rank her very high’? are you fucking blind?”

“nonono, man, she’s attractive-“ junpei frantically tries to explain himself, backtracking on his original plan of getting a reaction out of shinjiro because finding out his senpai’s type was not worth getting his ass beat. but, aragaki continues.

“don’t tell me you’d rank her lower than a goddamn robot!” this was possibly the most passionate he’s ever been, and it was over a casual conversation of ranking the girls in their dormitory building. “she better be in at LEAST your top three or i’m mopping the floors with your ass.”

“no, dude, she’s in my top three, i swear!” junpei’s attempts at damage control were getting more desperate. “she’s probably number one!”

“…number one?” aragaki repeats, as the two sit in a heavy silence for a moment. “you don’t deserve to have her in your number one spot,” he mutters.

“…what?”

“i SAID you don’t DESERVE to have her in your number one spot!!”

“OKAY THEN SHE’S NUMBER TWO!!!” junpei raises his hands up in an act of surrender. “she’s second! [name] is second!”

———

“…”

unable to listen to anymore, you hurriedly hit the pause button. you feel hot, and as the lights turn back on, you make a futile attempt to cover your burning face with your hands.

your leader clears his throat. “so, should i set you two up on a date, or-“

“no!” you exclaim, cutting him off with a wide-eyed expression on your face. “no! no.” you calm yourself down with a deep breath, trying not to imitate junpei’s desperation shown in the video. trying to collect yourself, you add, “that won’t be necessary. shinjiro didn’t even say his own ranking, so all of that probably could have meant nothing. absolutely nothing. right.”

“i mean, if you finish watching-“

once again burying your face into your hands, you yell into your palms to cut him off. a typical response from a teenage girl finding out her crush laid his pride on the line to advocate for her attractiveness.

the leader, ignoring your wishes, presses the play button.

———

“where would you put [name] then?” junpei asks, his signature shit-eating grin on his face. the video seems to have skipped ahead, as evidenced by junpei being much more calm than earlier.

shinjiro hesitates.

the quality is a bit fuzzy, but you can see junpei having a perplexed expression as he leans in to get a better look at shinjiro’s face, who turns his head away.

“are you…” junpei squints, then his eyes widen in surprise. “are you blushing??”

“the hell? no way i am!” shinjiro turns his body away.

“oh man, you should’ve just said you like her!” junpei grins, trying to be a supportive bro!

“i-i don’t even think of her like that! just lay it off!”

“so, what about her, huh?” his excitement shows in his voice. “she’s pretty cute and all. oh, those eyes are gorgeous-“

“i said lay it off!” shinjiro exclaims, and junpei jumps.

“ok man, ok! that’s my bad!” junpei backs up, and the awkward silence returns once more. without saying a word, shinjiro gets up and leaves.

———

at this point, you’ve sat down. the leader turns around to look at you, your face buried into a pillow. your ears are practically glowing red.

“my offer earlier about setting you two up still stands-“ he begins, but as you did before, you cut him off.

“shut up!!!!” you scream into the pillow, kicking your feet. you lift your face from the pillow to meet his gaze.

he can’t help but laugh. “should i get yukari? she probably knows more.”

admitting defeat, you nod.

[the-s1lly-corner]

A miniature knife on a keychain (Jeff x Reader) (Ending 3)

Ending three for the 7MIH x CRP series we are slowly chipping away at the characters, hooray! As per usual there will be a poll at the end of this to choose another character for the 4th ending! Currently thanking tumblr for adding a poll option for 3 days because... i am too impatient to wait one week to work on a new ending... grrr.... and 24 hours is way too short for this imo notes: reader is gn, jeff has zero experience to the shock of you and probably everyone reading this, LET ME COOK CWs: vulgar comments but it's tame enough, better to tag though word count: 1.8k

You reach your hand into the hat and pull out…

A keychain with a small charm on the end… “Who’s is this?” You mumble out loud as you fiddle with it. A tiny knife. Pointy but not enough to actually do any damage. A hand is put on your shoulder with enough force to shift you slightly. “That’d be mine Babe,” Jeff grinned down at you- practically bearing all of his teeth right in your face. He pulls himself away and leans backwards to Toby. You hear him mutter something to him about tough luck, and in a louder voice, “Make sure to time me, I’ll have them back after the time’s up,” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and attempted to wink.

It only looked like his eye was trying to scrunch closed. 

You don’t even realize his hand is still on your shoulder until he gently tugs you up by your top. “Come on, into the closet- them’s the rules,”

You rise to your feet and shuffle to your feet and let Jeff lead the way to the designated closet for the game. “After you,” He chuckled. He shuts the door behind him and leans into the corner. There was hardly any light, but the way the dimness bounced off of his face… You were used to how Jeff looked, but the lighting was not doing him any favors as he seemingly waited for you to make your first move. 

When you didn’t he broke the silence.

“Sooooooo…” You could hear him patting his hands on his thighs as he searched for the words to say. “Anything you’re into?” 

It’s so straight forward, so casual in how it leaves his mouth. It takes you off guard, actually. 

“Uhmm…” 

“I mean we don’t have to do anything if that’s what you’re worried about, general question, really,” He chuckled as he folded his legs under him and sat on the floor. You did the same, only about a foot away. 

“I’d thought you’d be taking charge since you…” You raised your hands and… you didn’t know what you were trying to do but the point seemed to be understood. “It’s more fun seeing you struggle,” Jeff grinned- the act alone stretched his lips impossibly thin, the cuts in the sides of his cheeks allowed him to really push it across his face.

And for a moment, you wondered how kissing him would work. You swat the thought away, but it proved useless as your mind hooked itself on curiosity. 

“People usually kiss during this game, right?” You ask, catching Jeff off guard for just a split second. In an instant his widened eyes relax. “That what you want? I’ll let you know I’m a biter,” He chuckled under his breath. You only stare at him blank faced. 

“You’re serious?” He leaned back on his hands and stared at you. If this wasn’t the same guy who constantly talked himself up you would have thought you heard some surprise- shock?- in his voice. “I wouldn’t bring it up if I wasn’t,” You try to mimic his previous grin but you only find yourself feeling a little silly. You let your face fall neutral again as his eyes darted all over you. “Well shit, man,” He chuckled under his breath with a shake of his head. “Show me what you got then, don’t expect it to be nice though,” 

“If you bite me I’m kicking,” 

“Fair enough,”

He didn’t make a move towards you, instead he put closing the gap onto you. 

And you do.

You close your eyes and begin to lean forward, you have to readjust how you’re sitting just so you don’t fall forward and into the man in front of you- he didn’t make any adjustment to his own position, still leaning backwards against the wall. You pucker your lips and-

Your lips press against something wet, and your eyes instantly snap open. Jeff sat in front of you, and while looking you dead in the eye his jaw hung open- wide enough that he could probably fit both his fists inside his mouth- sticking his tongue out forward. It took a horribly long moment to process just what in the hell he thought he was doing.

He expected tongue.

You reel away and grimace, “What the fuck,” 

“What-” 

“Why- that’s not how you kiss someone you know that right?” You rub your hands against your temple and try to keep a straight face. You weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry. You almost do both as you recall a particular image you saw on your phone months ago- depicting exactly what Jeff had just done. 

You inhale sharply.

“You’ve never kissed anyone before have you?” You ask half joking.

Jeff doesn’t immediately answer.

“You haven’t kissed anyone before,” You decide and he waves a hand in front of your face. “I mean it’s not that big of a deal-”

“Honestly you seemed like the type to blow through partners,” 

His hand tenses and he shoots you a look. “The hell is that supposed to mean?” He hissed.

“Just thought you’d have… I don’t know, experience? With at least someone?” 

It’s quiet for a second.

“No one?”

Jeff groans as he leans his head back against the wall. “Look when you’re going about sticking your knife in people you don’t have a lot of time sticking your dick in anything,” 

“Gross.”

“Point is,” He quiets you, “No I’ve never kissed anyone. There. Happy now? Make fun of me all you want I don’t give a flying fuck. I wasn’t saving it either so before you think I’m one of those kinds of people then-”

“I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of, everyone’s been there before you know?” You shrug. What else can you do? Nothing you say will change anything. “You said you were a biter though?”

He waved you off. “I’m pretty sure I would be one… you wanna confirm that for me?”

You considered… you were previously about to kiss him anyway with that warning and that didn’t stop you earlier… but there was no way in hell you were going to let him pull the tongue maneuver again. 

“You don’t look so bad, I don’t think you got it in you,” You tease as you close in. You stop a few inches away from his face. “It’d suck if the next person you got with had to deal with you not knowing how to do anything, with what you tried earlier,” 

He opens his jaws but you push them closed. He almost looked offended. 

“You open up too wide, it’s like you’re trying to eat my face… maybe you’re into that but most people probably aren’t,” 

“I’m going to bite you,” He muttered, but he doesn’t make any movement to push you away from him. Actually he could bite you right now if he wanted- you were close enough- but he continues to remain still in place. “If you want to figure it out on your own you’re free to say no,”

You slip your hand away from under his jaw but before you can really begin leaning back onto the floor Jeff grabs your wrist and tugs you back into his face. 

Chapped lips brush against yours for a minute causing your heart to skip at the sudden contact. He practically hisses right in your ear, but he sounds so fired up that you can hardly make out what he said. You only catch the tail end of it as he seemingly regained control of himself.

“If you think I’m going to let this slide without getting some you’re dead wrong,”

He sounded utterly humiliated as his hot breath pulled further away from your ear. He stares dead in your face and takes one last deep huff of air and lets it blow into your face.

“So how am I supposed to do this? Do I just mash my mouth into yours or-”

“There’s no mashing- look just…” You mutter and compose yourself. “You almost had it a second ago actually, just…” You think. You didn’t know how to truly explain exactly what to do, and you almost felt like asking if he can still pucker his lips would be an insult.

Without giving it much of a second thought you press your lips to his. Jeff nearly jumps out of his skin from the suddenness but he keeps himself locked to you. He lets go of your wrist and slips his hand away somewhere out of sight. 

Your hovering hand finds its way to his cheek- being careful not to hook your fingers into his mouth through the cuts of his cheeks. To your surprise he actually leans into your palm. 

The kiss goes on for a few more seconds, due to the need of air and because of someone outside loudly knocking their fist against the closet door.

“ONE MINUTE!” Toby calls out through the outside of the door.

Was time almost up?

You wipe your mouth clean and glance to Jeff who seems to need a minute to gather himself. You didn’t say anything, but you knew if your places were swapped he would be giving you flack for becoming so unraveled over a kiss. 

“Come on,” You rise to your feet and use the last half minute or so to smooth out your clothing. Jeff finally pushes himself up off of the floor a few seconds before Toby swings the doors wide open. “Out you t-two,” He jerks his head to the side. You tug on Jeff’s arm and walk him out into the hallway. The light seems to bring him back to reality. He makes a face to Toby as you tug him down the hall. 

Toby returns to the living room, leaving the two of you alone. 

“You said you were a biter?” 

“I’ll fucking get you next time.” Jeff hisses through clenched teeth. You glance at him.

Next time.

You hadn’t even considered the possibility that there could be one after this. 

“Well you wanna go ahead and try to stick to your threat?” You grin at him. Jeff stares at you hard for a long moment. 

“I’ll draw blood,” He matched your expression.

“Uh huh sure, sure whatever makes you feel tougher,” You wave him off. “You need chapstick by the way, like. Badly.” 

“You-”

You cut him off before he can continue. “Maybe another day though, I need to go scrub my tongue off after that first attempt,” You weren’t going to let him live this down.

“See you tomorrow?”

Jeff’s mouth hangs open before he screws it shut. His mouth struggles for a second, but in a forced voice to attempt to sound unbothered- a fail mind you- he wishes you goodnight.

[melded-galaxy]

Ultimis Richtofen: Throughout the years

For this, i wanted to analyse the characterisation and traits of ultimis richtofen throughout the different games and maps using in game quotes/ radios, especially how he as a character has transformed through the years. Part 1 of 3?? I think.

Early years: Not too much is known about Ultimis Richtofen's past, however some quotes over the years hint at details, although it is unlikely whether all are fully accurate due to Richtofen suffering from memory loss due to both the apothicons influence/overexposure to element 115. In Ascension, he mentions having a sister, whose dolls he crushed to make her cry. 

Not much is known about Ultimis Richtofen's parents. I doubt he was an orphan from the get-go like Primis Richtofen, as he does mention his mother in multiple quotes. He also stated when around the campfire in Tag der toten, that he always saw Maxis as a bitter rival, when Primis Richtofen opened up about viewing Maxis as a father figure growing up. 

In Shangri-la when getting the spectre from the box, he implies he was close to a former college roommate, 'who had a little gun, but a large barrel'. In Shangri-la, he also claims 'he was conceived in a mine cart... or was it in a lab?' However, he's likely to be bullshitting.

Ultimis Richtofen before touching the MPD: Ultimis Richtofen before his descent into insanity acts much like his Primis self did in Origins - sane, incredibly intelligent and still with a sense of morality and good intentions. He disagrees with Maxis' decision to secretly make weapons for the nazis, making the very reasonable argument that scientists from all over the world work at group 935. He also seemingly cares about the well-being of colleagues such as Dr Groph and Schuster, treating them with respect and conspiring with them against Maxis. 

At the same time, Edward had still joined the Illuminati, an organization seeking power and control over the world, with the intent to spy on and leak information from Group 935, showing that even before losing his mind, Ultimis Richtofen was still likely a power-hungry and morally dubious individual with an obvious agenda. The Apothicans' influence may have just fueled this darker side of the man. I also believe Ultimis Richtofen probably suffered from mental health issues long before he teleported to the moon, something that may have made it easier for the Apothicans to influence his mental state.

Ultimis Richtofen after touching the MPD: On January 4th 1940, despite Dr. Schuster's warnings, Richtofen boldly opted to use himself as a test subject in his attempts to master teleportation, the result eventually leading to the destruction of countless lives, Edward's sanity and the world itself. 

Immediately after his fateful encounter with the MPD, Richtofen began hearing whispers, who he originally mistook for Schuster. He didn't have much time to ponder on it, as he was swiftly teleported from the moon to a jungle in Shangri-la. There, he was presumably captured after being chased by the locals and was deemed a 'god' by them. Much of Richtofen's time ruling the jungle is a mystery; its stated he lived among them for three weeks studying vril devices and the element 115 that was found there. He also encountered the focusing stone for the first time, something he needed later for his plans to retake the MPD from Samantha and find Agartha. The natives' worship of him may have also played a hand in Richtofen developing a god complex. 

It's evident that Richtofen's mental state also deteriorates rapidly as after a mere three weeks when rejoining Schuster, he's acting noticeably manic and obsessive in his goal to reach Agartha, and is already talking aloud about the voices. He is also incredibly secretive, not answering any of Schuster's questions, and only barking orders at the man.

Following his return, Richtofen then begins plans to make a base on the moon where the MPD is located using the teleporters named Griffin Station. He employs Groph, Schuster and many other dissatisfied workers of Group 935 in a coup against Maxis.

Around this time, Edward curiously leaves the Illuminati's service. When asked why, he states only that 'teddy is a liar'.

In a personal log in 1942, Maxis expressed concern for Richtofen's mental state and no longer trusted the man, showing in turn that by this point in his corruption by the apothicans, Richtofen was most likely struggling to hide his sadistic desires and mental health issues. 

Stupidly, Maxis continued to have Richtofen babysit Samantha while he was away on other business. Richtofen most likely resented having to look after his nemesis' daughter and grew to hate Samantha almost as much as Ludwig Maxis. It's been stated multiple times that while in Edward's care, Richtofen ran multiple experiments on the child, including injecting her with doses of element 115. I'm not sure how long exactly, but Samantha most likely spent years primarily in the care of Richtofen. This, along with the experiments performed on her, most likely twisted the young girl's mind long before she took control of the MPD and witnessed her father's death. 

It's clear by at least 1942, Edward Richtofen has no moral compass left whatsoever, and he is willing to harm any living being if it means achieving his own goals.

In 1942, Schuster and Groph also learn that MPD is powered on the souls of the living when they shoot a rat near the chamber. After learning of this, Edward orders the tanks to be filled, which they do by executing prisoners by gunshot near the MPD. 

On July 15th 1945, Richtofen, with Samantha still in his care, is sent to a Siberian facility to conduct experiments on three test subjects for the super soldier program the Nazis sought - Nikolai Belinski, Pablo Marinus and Takeo Masaki. 

However, by early September, Pablo Marinus died at the hands of Richtofen when his spleen was removed. Shortly before this, Tank Dempsey was captured in Verruckt attempting to rescue Peter Mccain and was brought to Siberia to replace Pablo. 

Richtofen's mannerisms and personality in the Call of the Dead diary entries seem extremely similar to how he acts in Kino onwards. He displays an irrational hatred of monkeys and Americans. He uses drugs as well as both physical and psychological torture to control and manipulate the test subjects and shows no remorse for any of his actions. He views the test subjects similarly to toys, lamenting 'breaking' the Mexican.

Richtofen is also increasingly paranoid about spies infiltrating their ranks, correctly guessing that both Harvey Yena and Peter Mccain are spies acting in America's interest. 

Richtofen's hatred of Dempsey starts here, as unlike the other two test subjects, Tank keeps breaking through the restraints and insulting Richtofen. Nikolai's alcoholism may begin here as well, as the doctor injects the Russian with Element 115 mixed with Vodka to get him to accept the stimuli. 

While at the Agarthan facility, Edward also manages to create another part of the Agarthan Device - the Elemental Shard, by binding his and the three test subject's souls to a piece of Element 115.

However, before Richtofen could complete the Agarthan Device, Harvey Yena reported to Maxis that Richtofen had been suffering from 115-induced delusions, and had been using 935 resources for personal projects. It was there that Yena revealed Maxis had ordered all development of the DG2 to be halted and that Maxis wished to speak to Richtofen at Der Riese.

He is obviously fully insane by this point and by the last diary entry, he knows Maxis won't follow through on his promise to mass produce the Wunderwaffe DG2, and plans to callously kill both him and Samantha. 

Richtofen then returns to Der Riese with Dempsey, Nikolai, Takeo, and Samantha in tow. He places the test subjects into sleep, ready to be awakened whenever. While in Der Riese, he and Maxis argue about Richtofen's loyalty to Group 935 and the matter of the mass production of the Wunderwaffe DG2 being cancelled. The two scientists then prepared to work on the teleportation tests together, with Richtofen secretly revelling in his plan to kill Maxis and Samantha, and finally taking control of the MPD. 

On October 13th, 1945, Maxis and Richtofen performed teleportation test trials on Test Subjects Number 3, 4, and 5. All tests failed, including Test 5, where Maxis uses Fluffy, Samantha's dog. All the while, Richtofen is putting on a convincing act of pretending to still be the sane, dutiful assistant he had been in the past to Maxis. Samantha runs into the room, spots Fluffy, now a hellhound, and rushes into the chamber. Maxis tries to stop her and almost gets her out of the test chamber, but before he can, Richtofen shuts the door, trapping Maxis and his daughter inside with the zombified dog. He then activates the teleporter, teleporting all three away. 

Samantha was teleported to Griffin station while Groph and Schuster were working on the MPD. Running into the MPD, the girl was drawn inside of it, where she became corrupted by the Dark Aether. Maxis was teleported to the Crazy place from Origins and developed the power to merge with electricity (??). 

Richtofen then shortly returned to the moon, where he quickly learned that Samantha was trapped in the MPD. He then ordered Groph to teleport Maxis there to coax her out of the device. In an effort to free Samantha, Maxis, at gunpoint, approaches the MPD in an attempt to persuade her to come out. Once she did, Maxis gave her an instruction, to "Kill them...all." Maxis then kills himself and merged with the technology of Griffin Station, while Samantha unleashes the undead upon the base. 

With Samantha now in control of the MPD, and subsequently, the zombies, Richtofen then returned to Der Riese and, after fighting through the undead horde, awakened Dempsey, Takeo, and Nikolai. With no recollection of who they were or who Richtofen was, they agreed to help him. 

The four of them then travelled to the Rising Sun facility, in search of Richtofen's missing diary.

Shi No Numa: I see Shi No Numa as an almost prototype Richtofen, this first incarnation of the character especially leans into the mad nazi doctor stereotype as well as him being a military figure, with his quotes about having a Hitler youth knife and his military-like shouts to his teammates 'show no fear!' 'Stick together!'. His voice is also noticeably deeper in both shi no numa and der riese. 

Strangely enough, Richtofen thinks he is still a member of the Illuminati in both Shi No Numa and Der Riese despite leaving the group in 1940: 'Illumaniti, I WORK FOR THEE!' 'The Illuminati would be pleased with you, Nikolai!' Out of universe, I think this is because the storyline is still very new and has since undergone many retcons and changes. In Universe, I think a possible explanation for this is that Richtofen suffers from memory issues relating to both his exposure to element 115 and the effects of the MPD. He most likely gets confused fairly often and forgets past events.

Interestingly enough, the doctor dislikes killing the hellhounds, a trait carried over to future maps. 

His favourite weapons are the MP40, STG 44 and of course the Wunderwaffe DG2.

At this point, Ultimis Richtofen still treats the rest of the crew like comrades, calling them 'brothers' in multiple quotes, likely to attempt to gain their trust and eventually establish himself as the leader of the group. Shi No Numa Richtofen also doesn't seem to know that the demonic announcer is Samantha, believing that the power-ups he and the rest of ultimis pick up are sent from 'the dark one/his masters/the voices'. Richtofen is also less afraid of the voices in Shi No Numa than he is in future maps, readily obeying them instead of attempting to shut them out.

Overall, I'd say Richtofen is more sane in both Shi No Numa and Der Riese than he is from Kino Der Toten onwards, though he also acts much more under the direct control of the Apothicans/voices than he does in later instalments, which I find interesting.

Despite small changes, Richtofen's madness, bizarre mannerisms and overall sadism are still very prominent and an integral part of his character. 

Der Riese: Much like how he was in Shi No Numa, Der Riese Richtofen is slightly saner compared to later maps. His status as a scientist and doctor seems more emphasised than before. His annoyance/dislike of Dempsey and approval of Nikolai are also made more clear in this map: 'Dempsey do you mind keeping the noise down? Some of us ARE TRYING TO WORK!!' 'You are head and shoulders above them Nikolai!' At this point, it's made explicit that Richtofen is keeping secrets from the rest of the team, pretending not to know how the teleporters work and about Group 935 in general. 

Funnily enough, Richtofen admits to not being very skilful with most weaponry: 'To kill quickly ja. With skill, no.' Quotes from Dempsey, admittedly probably biased, also imply that out of the four, Richtofen is the worst shot and least active: 'Hey Richtofen, I'm glad you fired your weapon, but you missed!' 'The doctor is... a really bad shot!' 'Richtofen fired his weapon again... hell must be freezing over.'

Kino Der Toten: Richtofen in this map and onwards is much more stereotypically flamboyant - his voice is pitched higher and he has a slight lisp at times. He's even more emotionally unstable than he was in the previous two maps, having very childish outbursts at times: crying when he's out of ammo, crying about what was done to the hellhounds, shouting 'FLASHY LIGHTS!' at times when there's a fire sale etc.

Edward is also fond of referring to himself in the third person: 'the doctor is on his way!' 'no touchy the doctor... unless he asks.'

He distrusts his former test subjects, as seen in the opening line in Kino Der Toten: 'I still do not trust my unconventional allies, but they are of great use to me. BUT! I digress.'

He also appears surprised that the MPD is capable of time travel, something that happened unplanned as a result of Dempsey firing a wonder weapon while in the middle of teleporting back in Der Riese (Spoiler alert, Dempsey yet again does this in Shangri La. Goddammit Dempsey.)

Richtofen previously acting as a parental figure towards Samantha is also implied in some of the following quotes in this map: 'Samantha, didn't I teach you a lesson about this?' 'Samantha! Samantha where have you run off to!' 

Overall, I'd say Richtofen's comical traits start to become a bit flanderized from this map onwards, for better or worse. Though in universe, I'd say this is most likely due to Richtofen's mind actively deteriorating from stress, past untreated mental illness, the Apothicans/voices and element 115.

Ascension: While Edwards acts much like he did in Kino, albeit sounding slightly more tired and deadpan, there are some interesting quotes in this map that reveal details about his past. For one, it's revealed that Richtofen may have had a sister. He states he used to crush her dolls as a child to make her cry. If this is true, which is dubious, this shows Ultimis Richtofen may have always had a sadistic streak, even as a child.

Richtofen is also wearing a spacesuit for some reason. Perhaps he was separated from the rest of Ultimis for a while, probably attempting to go to the moon and take control of the MPD earlier, before realising he needs more components first.

In the Black ops 3 remaster, you can see the shadow man's silhouette watching Richtofen and the rest of the group from a window in this map, clearly paying close attention to what his pawn is doing.

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 26 - Tour Date

Summary: Corroded Coffin goes all out on one very special day.

Word Count: 998

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Silliness and Shenanigans, Boys Will Be Boys Nonsense

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

Corroded Coffin shows were all about the experience.

Eddie had made that a non-negotiable once they had some kind of say in where and how they performed.

"Everyone's coming for the music man," Jeff would always argue. "Wasn't that Bev's whole deal with the Hideout. People are coming for a place to sit and a beer, they didn't need any of the flashiness. We want them to enjoy our sound."

"We want them," Eddie softly grabbed Jeff by the shoulders and squeezed, "to keep coming to see us."

It took them a while to figure out what that experience looked like though.

They tried quite a bit of everything.

Eddie procured a fog machine for some of their early performances, but they quickly realized how bad the fog juice was for the vocals. And if they were in a small venue? All bets were off.

Then they coerced Dustin and Lucas into hooking them up with fireworks.

"I don't think these are the kind of pyrotechnics you should have on stage guys," Lucas worried as they set up.

"It'll be fine," Gareth, ever the hype man, encouraged them. "It's only a little 4th of July fest, who's gonna complain about fireworks?"

It was, indeed, fine. But as for complaints about fireworks? Well, the chief of the Muncie Fire Department had a few choice words for them and they were banned from performing there ever again.

"It's Indiana," Dave complained. "Who would've thought that we'd get in trouble for fireworks here of all places."

They had it down after a few years; they didn't necessarily need to pull out the big guns for every show. They needed to pick their battles.

Metal covers of Christmas Carols mixed into their set list for December shows.

Group costumes and a confetti canon loaded with fun size candy for shows on Halloween--and they always had shows on Halloween.

And their magnum opus? Their piece de resistance? Their tour de france--

"I don't think that means what you think it means Ed."

--would be Friday the 13th.

Just like Halloween they always made sure they had a show on Friday the 13th, whether they were just doing something local or it was a stop on their tour. It became a big deal, a spectacle. Packed events, special merch just for the day, a themed drink if they were having some secret show at a club.

And the shows were always wild.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” Eddie asked as he hauled a theremin out from wings of the stage in ‘92, to a chorus of oohs and ahhs. “Oh this? My sweetheart deserves a night off.”

Dave performed on stilts in ‘95. Did he end up breaking a leg because of it? Yeah but it was worth it.

Gareth decided in ‘97 that the drums just weren’t for him. So he constructed a series of Rube Goldberg machines that would play percussion for him with each song of their set. That left him free to mingle with fans in the pit all night.

“You enjoying your night off Gare?” His band mates asked intermittently all night.

And in ‘98? Well that was a special year with a whopping three Friday the 13ths. It had to be some kind of record--turns out it wasn't--but Jeff decided that they would attempt to break a world record at each show.

And they did.

Dave, ever the midwesterner, broke the world record for Fastest Beer Drinker at their February 13th show. 3 pints in 6 seconds.

"But did it have to be Miller?" he belched out to the uproarious applause and laughter in the audience once all was said and done.

Gareth took the next one home at the March 13th show. A table, a timer, and a stack of cups.

"I read about this sport-stacking thing in some magazine," he told their audience as he prepared himself. "Turns out I'm actually pretty good at it."

For their last attempt at a world record, Eddie and Jeff agreed, it had to be about the music.

"We're a band, we can't be known for most cigarettes smoked in a minute," Eddie huffed.

So on November 13th, they planned not one, not two, but 55 "concerts" in and around Chicago.

The timing had to be perfect, their equipment easy to load and unload, and 3 teams of people traveling around the city to help them.

"Did you know," Jeff said nerdily, "in medieval Europe they did something like this for tours too. A team of servants to take care of them at their current stop, a team at the last destination deconstructing their camp, and then a team at the next destination building one?"

"Are you calling us Music Royalty Jeff?" Dave teased, standing tall and proud.

Their sold out "Friday the 13th Tour" started promptly at 8am at WGN Studios where they started everyone's Friday with a metal rendition of the Chicago's Very Own jingle and taught Larry Potash how to headbang.

They performed, got their picture taken, and had a few slices of pizza at Pizano's around lunchtime.

"Are we halfway there yet?" Gareth groaned as they climbed into the van.

"We're not even at 25," Eddie dreaded as he turned the key in the ignition.

Some of their "shows" were negligible. A crowd of 15 fans inside of a coffee shop, or the one they had right at the entrance of a grocery store, where the ticket also got them a bag of tv dinners. But according to the Record Official that traveled with them all day, they all counted.

An introduction, ticket sales, a song performed, and a crowd. No matter how long or short the concerts were.

And by the end of the night, their actual concert at the UIC Pavillion, the guys were exhausted.

But it felt great to play their first song to a thunderous round of applause, and then for the Official to bring their record out on stage to present to them.

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Round 2: Nanami Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena) vs. Ken Amada (Persona 3)

Propaganda below the cut

Nanami Kiryuu:

In a show where major characters regularly engage in domestic violence and sexual abuse, the one character fans hated for decades was the 13-year-old grooming victim who tried to bully her peers to gain some semblance of control in her life. She wasn't even good at it

(Mod note: Please be advised that RGU contains dark themes beyond what has already been tagged if you plan to look into it. A comprehensive list of content warnings can be found here)

Ken Amada:

y'all are all for "murder and revenge plots" until is a 10 y/o boy who watched his mother die and started to become conflicted after realizing his moms killer is a secretly kind traumatized teenager to the point where the 10 y/o boy attempts to kill himself by giving himself up to assassins.

bro he's 10.

----

ken amada is such an interesting character with the unfortunate circumstances of having little screentime and atlus deciding to ruin his reputation forever by giving him a romance choice in the fem protag route. ken is a child who lost his mother at NINE. nobody ever believed him when he said that she was murdered, and that he saw who killed her. hes miserable, and all everyone around him does is give him sympathy while hes suffering and was forced to grow up before even going into middle school. hes angry and determined to get revenge on the person who killed his mother, and he doesnt even see the own value in living anymore beyond getting that revenge. hes more mature than most of his peers, and is desperate to be seen as an adult.but at the same time, he is still a child who likes superhero shows.

----

OH GOD WHERE DO I START

First there's the normal "The fandom hates kids" complaints of "He's so whiny" "he's so annoying" "oh my god kid just SHUT UP" y'know, the typical fandom stuff that makes you wonder if these people have ever talked to a child in their life

Second, there's (spoilers)...

October 4th, and the ENTIRE FANDOM is calling this kid a murderer.

For context, the moment in question doesn't necessarily paint him in the best light but its still understandable. Your team is going on a mission while Ken and another character named Shinjiro are away. In an alleyway, they have a talk where it is revealed that on that night a year priar to the game, Kens mom was killed in that allleyway by Shinjiro's Persona (Which, by the Rules of the Game Lore, basically means By Shinjiro). Ken tried to tell the authorities, the authorities didn't believe him because Magic Reasons and the death was ruled an accident.

Of course Ken is Fucking Pissed and wants revenge

However, because of Talk, he ACTIVELY CALMS DOWN, and realises "Hey, I probably shouldn't kill someone. Despite them, y'know, killing my mom"

HOWEVER REVOLVER JESUS COMES IN AND RUINS EVERYTHING BY SHOOTING SHINJIRO. AND LIKE, IF YOU PLAY P3P YOU CAN /AVOID THE DEATH THING/

AND EVERYONE BLAMES /KEN/. AND ONLY KEN.

And third (yes, there's a THIRD) IS THE FUCKING FEMC ROMANCE THING. WHICH JUST...SHOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT NOW HE'S "SHOTA BAIT" BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BLAME THE CHILD FOR THE AUTHORITY FIGURE COMING ONTO THEM 😒

[ginnyw-potter-archive]

Fan Fic Humble Brag Tag

Sometimes we love something we wrote so much we want to knock on every door spreading the good word of our little story. But sometimes we fear being seen as rude or too self promoting. Here is your chance to do a bit of self promo and bragging without fear because some asked you too.

Answer the questions and then tag five writers who you think deserve to brag about their work Tagged by @thelighthousestale!!

1.) the funniest bit of dialogue you wrote

I write a lot of banter so I find it difficult to choose, but I wrote this earlier this week and really wanted to show it to someone (I'll leave you to guess what fic this is for)

Ginny walked into their room at night. “We are having sex.” Harry looked down in mock-surprise. “Are we? You should have told me, I would have bothered to undress.”

2.) A story you wrote that made you cry

This is a really low bar because I cry really easily I'd choose This is me trying, I suppose

3.) A story that still makes you laugh every time you reread it or think about it

A hungover Harry in her bed. I like to laugh at Harry's despair meeting Ginny's carpet face-to-fabric.

4.) Best moment of canon compliant characterization

I have taken a lot of different approaches to writing Hinny's post-battle reconciliation and I think the latest attempt comes closest. I think it showed a good mix of their maturity, their grief and their connection.

Snippet (In the arms of the boy she loved):

They walked aimlessly through the aisles for a while. When Ginny let go of his hand, he stopped and looked at her. She leaned against the bookcase and looked up, breathing deeply. He stepped forward and rested his forehead against hers, stroking her cheek. Her hands reached out, nearly trembling and clutched onto the sides of his shirt. He kissed her softly. As soon as he leaned away, her lips followed him. She refused to disconnect from him and kissed him again. He did not object, he needed her as badly as she needed him. His whole body seemed to hum from her touch, revelling in the comfort of her proximity. He held onto her, telling her silently he was staying right there with her. “Breathe,” he told her, locking eyes with her. She shook her head. “I’m trying.” “I know.” He brushed her hair out of her face with his hand. “I’m right here.”

5.) Something you wrote in a fic you secretly (or not so secretly) think as canon

I think they went for a 4th child because the house was quiet without James and ended up with twins, Ruby and Remy.

6.) The most romantic bit you’ve written

There is a part in Not your Captain where Harry disappears. Ginny turns her ship around and sails back out to sea in the hopes of rescuing him from certain death. I think that's pretty romantic.

7.) A fic you wrote that everyone sleeps on, but you know, is excellent

I don't think this was slept on, but That has a ring to it had significantly fewer interactions than Experimentally in Love. I am not sure if it was the trope that spoke less to people, I just felt there was a difference for sure.

8.) Wow us with an excellent excerpt For Spilt Blood

“Up! Up!” Potter’s Aunt Petunia’s voice shrilly roused them from sleep as she barged into the bedroom. Ginny jumped away from her, towards Mr Potter. He pulled on her arm, pulling her out of his aunt’s way. They stood against the wall, breathing heavily from their sudden awakening. Petunia jerked back the sheets with a menacing look and stared at the spot of blood. Ginny’s heart was pounding. Petunia walked up to her, craning her long neck. “Did it hurt, girl?” “I am married,” she said boldly, staring up at the woman. “You will address me as such.” The slap echoed through the room and her cheek stung immediately. Ginny leapt forward at Petunia, who screamed with arms flailing as she tried to escape. Ginny grabbed onto her arm and pulled, trying to get a better hold. Mr Potter’s arm swooped around her and pulled her back against him and away from his aunt. She had half a mind to bite him in the arm to free herself but changed her mind at the last moment. She tried to escape but he held onto her tighter. Petunia’s expression turned vicious, and though the sting of Ginny’s cheek was quickly fading, she remembered her husband's back, and wondered if this woman was responsible. Ginny was suddenly glad to retreat. She ducked out of his hold, and he pushed her behind him, both holding her back and protecting her from his aunt. “No!” he bellowed, his arms stretched out to keep the two women apart. “You got what you want, now get out of my house!”

9.) Five words to describe your writing

Banter, light-hearted, romantic, direct, optimistic

10.) The fic you are most proud of

Wreck My Plans, I don't think this is my best writing, but I think it really helped me find a slightly different approach to writing and pacing and I think that's why it was such a significant fic to me.

Tagging: @sophie-hatter-jenkins, @starlingflight, @four2andnew, @charmsandtealeaves and @takearisk-x

[aboutmercy]

was tagged by the lovely @divorceblogger 🩵

last song: master and servant by depeche mode

last movie: cría cuervos (1976) dir. carlos saura

last show: i have actually just finished rewatching true detective s1! thinking of rewatching iwtv for the 4th time or another one of my fav shows, mr. robot.

last book: great granny webster by caroline blackwood. i am on a mission to read every small sized book i own in an attempt to tackle my pathetic goodreads yearly challenge. thinking of reading either sula by toni morrison or sleepless nights by elizabeth hardwick. send reinforcement and good luck 😭

last googled thing / looked up: the directors bruce and norman yonemoto cause i am currently watching brothers by norman yonemoto. which is a anti-vietnamese war incestuous gay porno experimental film, directed by norman yonemoto but he is more known for his work with his brother bruce, there’s only a wiki page for them both.

looking forward to: going out with my friends later at night, reading armand fic, thinking about writing fic of my own, watching more films or reading tonight. standard stuff tbh :)

tagging: @utenah @hauntedbambi @akashha @awildwickedslip @heavenrings @marwyn @slayercain @emiliosandozsequence and whoever else that wants to do it!

[neverchecking]

Hello

So, we've seen the post. Rather, you've all seen it and told me about it, with some very hateful comments by the way <3

Let's discuss.

Moss and I's relationships started around this time last year. We dated. There were good times, I can admit that, but evidently, there was also bad. We broke up February 4th of 2024.

Let me repeat.

February 4th.

Bailey and I had gotten together February 18th. Two weeks. There was no cheating like there claims to be. We had two weeks, which may seem like moving fast, which I can admit it was, but as you can see in said screenshots, Moss and myself both checked out of the relationship far before that.

As we explained to Cloud, not Moss by the way, which this entire thing could've been avoided if they had come to me directly where we could've talked one on one like I attempted to do before we broke up, the screenshots show the timelines in which our conversations lasted. And like we explained, sometimes they lasted hours. Others? Minutes and if that's if I got a response at all.

I could provide the evidence that I tried during our relationship. Whenever we asked however, they went back to demanding for us to provide it for them.

Now, the day Moss and I broke up seems to have a timeline that doesn't match up. So let's patch that up, because there are a few very convenient details left out.

Moss tells Bailey, not their girlfriend at the time, that they are worried about said girlfriend.

Bailey tells girlfriend, I.E. Myself, that Moss is worried.

I ask to call Moss, who declines saying they're on call with Sketch, telling me I can join. If you can't see why joining a call with someone else, let alone a minor, to talk about your relationship, then I can't help you I'm afraid.

I decline, saying we can call later. How does Moss respond? By drinking.

Hours pass by and I request to call again, however, now under the influence, Moss is unable to have a conversation at the degree that needed to happen.

So we sleep on it and the next day, we break up.

That was it. That was what happened. Believe who you want to believe, I honestly don't care, but I can sleep easy knowing that I tried. I tried so hard. You point out that if I was so unhappy, why didn't I leave earlier?

Because when I did leave, you still hated me. I could not have won no matter which direction I went. I was at a lose-lose situation where I had to take my loses as they came. And you know what? I was okay with that.

You're right with one thing. My needs were not met. Believe it or not, relationships are meant to help fulfill some needs and when that's not being done, obviously somethings going wrong. I can't help with that either. We never manipulated anyone. You never asked. And saying 'yes we did' does not count if it's followed by a /hj or /j.

Now, the QPR. That also has some details conveniently left out.

For example, how it started. I bet you didn't know that it started in the very original group chat. The one with myself, Bailey, and, you guessed it, Moss. Moss was there when we discussed doing it and expressed they were okay with it, we would just need to further discuss the boundaries. Which was fine! If they had ever actually talked to us about it.

But they never did, despite us bringing it up several times.

Admittedly, the QPR tag was simply us being best friends. That was it. Of course they would say they didn't get to set boundaries, because anything otherwise would imply they can be in the wrong in any capacity. I have no problems admitting I made mistakes. Not once has Moss ever done so. Which, fine. Ride that high horse. Like I said, it makes no difference to me.

I won't speak on Glowy and Bailey's relationship since I wasn't apart of it. I don't know the details. I won't act like I do.

Bailey and I did make sexual jokes to each other. Why? A) We were both adults. B) We were both single at the time. C) Everyone did it. It was a game. Bailey joked for months they'd sleep with half the people in that server alone. Just because now you decide to take it seriously, doesn't mean it was serious then.

As for me bringing up with Moss and I's relationship:

I brought it up TWICE saying I wanted to talk more. It's there in writing. That's me, bringing up my concerns. Saying I want a change. Next time I'll be sure to email any group chat I'm in with the issues I'm having with my current partner.

Also I shouldn't have had to apologize for my mental health. If Moss had ever once brought up their concerns to me I would've told them. I'm a student, among many things. They should know it gets tough. I'm allowed to struggle. I'm allowed to have problems. It can't always just be one sided. They would've known I was struggling if they asked or even once told me they were worried about me.

Also, next time you use screenshots, fucking cross out the private details of someone's life. No matter how much you hate someone, it's fucking disrespectful as hell to air out someone's trauma, regardless of anything. It's fucking crude, tasteless and cruel and unusually punishment. Do fucking better.

We said we were adults with how we were acting because we didn't send Cloud to fucking fight our battles for us.

We didn't flaunt our relationship. We didn't lie. We gave you the facts as we knew them which you ignored. You're trying to take the high road because what? You didn't actively say anything? You just happened to mention hating the creator of Sage? There is such a thing called subtext. I happened to say it out loud first and you used that as a diving board to call me the bad guy.

Speaking of Sage, I don't know if you recall from how poorly you have mischaracterized my rendition of him, but let me remind you. I'm a fucking Yandere blog. The relationships I portray with my writing? Not meant to be healthy. That's the fucking roots of Yandere. If you would've noticed how I wrote him with Aaliyah, he's abrasive. There's a crazy difference between the two. Imagine that. Additionally, making a black character doesn't make me racists, especially for a culture in a fantasy game. I have white characters too, does that make me xenophobic? I have skinny characters, does that make me fat-phobic? I have plus sized characters, does that mean I shame skinny people? No. It means I have diversity in my characters and don't draw the same shit over and over again.

Let me make this one fucking thing clear as well.

I was not jealous over Sketch. I was hesitant to let a minor onto an adult's only server because of two prior incidents involving minors. When I brought up my concerns, I was brushed off, only to then find out that Moss had made a server with only themself, Bailey and Sketch. Which I was only told about after we had broken up by the way. I was hesitant because Moss and Sketch were on call all hours of the day, alone, and while we could've joined, we all had other commitments (work, school, family, etc.).

So my greatest fucking apologies that I didn't like the idea of an adult having hours upon hours of alone time with a minor. I'm so fucking sorry I don't like the idea of a partner spending so much time in a group chat I didn't even fucking know of. How fucking dare I ever have an issue with having a minor in a chat full of adults despite agreeing that we wouldn't let that happen again.

How fucking dare I.

Since you guys wouldn't know a happy relationship if it bit you in the ass, people share each other on social media. Believe it or not, you aren't the only friends I've made from having an LU blog. I like sharing my life. If you don't like it stop using your freaky ass stalker blogs and stop watching. Stop using subtext about me. Stop bringing up anything regarding myself, Bailey, Sage, any of that. You have not let it go. Stop pretending you have.

Either leave me and Bailey the fuck alone or use said stalker blog to DM me your fucking yourself.

Thank you for the well wishes though, try not to let anymore minors slip through the cracks <3

P.S. If you could read dates you'd notice that unlike some people, I'm not on the internet 24/7! I hadn't gotten around to the pfp change, but it's fixed. And you know what? You were right! That was disrespectful and I apologize. /srs

Now, kick rocks and keep my fucking name out of your fucking mouths.