#400-00

[shitpost-coast]

Hi Tumblr!

Day 2 of being a Twitter Refugee, I found an old Sony Handycam and I bought an old MacBook Pro yesterday to back up my Hi8 film in the highest possible quality!

[julesnichols]

The past like two and a half hours have been nonstop whiplash

[rins-batcave]

new years resolution notes thing

by 12:00 am Jan 1st, whatever goals are completed will be my new years resolutions

10 NOTES MAX PLEASE

Blue for Reached

300: Brush my teeth every night

400: work out more often

500: Shower at least twice a week

5000: sleep by 12:00 am every night

6000: take of sports bra at least 5 times a week

might add more!

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

the traditional country spotify created playlist is doing the lord’s work because i have written SO MUCH in the last few days 😭

[whisperofwonder]

Oh, Baby | Part 1

Haikyuu men x pregnant!reader

Part 2 is here - after baby is born

Featuring: Miya Osamu, Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama Tobio, Sakusa Kiyoomi (~ 400 - 500 words each)

Most likely to be followed up at some point by scenes after baby is born because I have absolutely no chill

MIYA OSAMU

You pick at your dinner, trying your best to eat enough to satisfy Osamu. It's not that you aren't hungry, really. It's more that what you're hungry for isn't this. Osamu already worked hard to make it, though, so you'll make yourself content.

"What's wrong?" Osamu isn't fooled. He points at your plate with his chopsticks. "Isn't it good? I knew I shouldn't a' switched out the spices."

"No, it's good!" You insist quickly. "Really. I just - you're gonna think it's silly." You warn.

"Try me," He says, sitting back in his chair and watching you expectantly. You have no choice.

"I'm just really craving something in particular. Something different," You try to mask your disdain as you gesture at your plate. "I want onigiri."

"Really?" A smile breaks across his face. "Little guy wants onigiri, huh? Well that's not so bad. I can whip something up-" He's already out of his chair and poised to root in the fridge. "Whaddya want? We got tuna, umeboshi, or maybe..." He pauses to shuffle things around in the fridge in search of more ingredients.

"No," You interrupt before he can get too far, bracing yourself for what the baby is making you say next, "Actually, I was kind of thinking, well, peanut butter?" He goes still, head stuck in the fridge. "And, jelly?" You add more quietly. Slowly, he backs up and pivots, fixing you with a penetrating look.

"Sorry. It was all muffled in there. What sorta filling did ya want?" You repeat yourself, and watch as the smallest part of your husband dies. He blinks once, twice, then nods very slowly. "Okay," He says, quietly, almost as if he's steeling himself. "Okay." He repeats.

Hands resting on your growing middle, you watch as he methodically prepares the onigiri, with the exact fillings you'd requested. He hesitates with his spoon in the peanut butter, but he does what you asked. "Are ya sure this is my child?" He asks despairingly as he presents you with three perfectly formed onigiri.

"Positive," You assure him with a small chuckle. You can't help it - you're itching to dig into these onigiri, so you do. Is it an absurd combination? Yes. But does it satisfy the craving you'd been trying to ignore all day? Absolutely. You can't disguise your delight as you eat, humming happily as you savor the food your husband had so lovingly prepared for you, despite the desecration.

When you look up, you're surprised to find him smiling at you, head propped on his fist as he watches you eat.

"What're you grinning about?" You ask teasingly.

"Can't help it," He grumbles, "I'm just happy you're enjoyin' the food, even if it is an abomination. I love you." He gives your cheek a gentle pinch, then your stomach a loving pat.

"I love you too, Samu. We both do." You pause. "Want a bite?" You ask, holding the last onigiri out to him.

"Absolutely not."

KUROO TETSUROU

You're in bed, and it's barely 8:00. You never expected your normal day-to-day routine to tire you out this much, but then again you've never been 7 months pregnant before, either.

"Aw, come on," Tetsurou is cooing at your stomach, stroking it gently. "Just a little tiny kick? Mama gets to feel you move all the time." He's curled up with his face inches from your stomach, a dopey smile on on his face as he chatters to the baby as has become his nightly routine. You reach down to run a hand through his unruly hair.

"If you want someone to kick you in the bladder, that can probably be arranged," You say drily, snorting out a laugh when he looks up at you with a pout.

"I just want to feel her move," He sighs, "I feel like I always miss it. Everybody acts like it's so special."

"It is," You say softly, resting your hand on top of his. You can't deny that. "It'll happen," you say optimistically. With how bad he wants it, it has to, you silently tell your daughter.

"Yeah," He doesn't sound convinced, rolling to a sitting position. "Guess I'll go brush my teeth," He says, heading for the bathroom. You roll onto your back, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. You've just opened a conversation to respond to a text when you feel it - the faintest movement.

"Tetsu!" You call, "Come here!"

"What?" He's at the doorway in half a second, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and a frown creasing his brow, "Wha's wrong?"

"She's moving," You say, and shift to a sitting position. You hear him spit the toothpaste in the sink, and he's there in a heartbeat, hand on your belly. Right beneath his hand, you feel her kick. You watch as the look of wonder crosses his face.

"Hi, baby girl," He breathes, focusing all of his attention on the movement of your daughter beneath his hand. "I love you so much. I'm so excited to meet you." He turns to look at you then. "Finally," He grins, and you can't help but return it.

"Didn't I tell you?" You say smugly.

"Yeah, yeah." He silences you with a minty kiss.

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

At this point in your pregnancy, there's very little that soothes your aching back. Lying down, standing up, moving around, the pain is always there in the background to some extent. That's why you find yourself in the living room in the middle of the night, propping yourself up between the arm chair and wall in search of a position that will provide some relief.

"Are you alright?" You nearly jump out of your skin at the touch of Tobio's hand on your back. When you left the room, he'd been sleeping like a rock as usual.

"Fine," You assure him, stretching to a slightly more dignified position. "My back's just a little sore."

"Oh," He runs a hand gently up and down the muscles of your back. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Hold this for a second?" You say with a breathy laugh, mostly joking as you press a hand beneath your round stomach.

"I can try," He says seriously, moving behind you. You're about to tell him it was just a joke, but then you feel his chest pressed against your back and his hands gently supporting the underside of your belly. Instead of the protest that had been forming on your lips, you let out a groan of relief.

"Was that good?" He asks uncertainly.

"Very good," You're quick to assure him, letting your eyes close. He only hums in response, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder. You'd forgotten it was possible for your back to feel this normal. It's blissful. You could almost fall asleep right here and now.

"You sure are making trouble for your mama," You hear your husband whisper, drawing you back out of your drowsy state.

"It's okay," You murmur, "It'll all be worth it." He presses another kiss to your shoulder, and you sink back into silence.

"I really think we should get you back to bed," He says finally. Even though it means he'll have to let go, you feel you don't have any choice but to agree. "We can do this again tomorrow," He promises as he takes your hand to make your way back to the bedroom. You give his hand a tug and press a kiss to his lips. You'll hold him to that.

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

"I'm home," You hear Kiyoomi call from the front door. You freeze, but it's too late to hide the evidence. Soon enough, your husband appears in the nursery doorway, and you're caught red-handed.

"I told you I'd build that bookshelf tonight," He says, striding into the room and plucking the loose shelf from your hand. He takes the bag of screws from the other, sets them down, and then draws you away from your project.

"I know, but I just had to do something," You insist. "I already put all the clothes in the dresser, vacuumed, washed the drapes, and the box was just sitting there." His brow creases, and you realize you've said too much.

"You washed the drapes?" He heaves a heavy sigh. "How did you even get them down? And put them back up?"

You smile nervously. "A chair," You try to sound nonchalant. "They really aren't that high."

"My love," He says, taking your hands in his. "Please don't do something like that again. What if you fell?" You lower your head, biting down on your lip. It truly hadn't crossed your mind.

"Sorry," You whisper, "There's just so much to do! We need to be ready. The baby will be here in just a few months. I just want everything to be perfect."

"I know," He says, now rubbing comforting circles into the backs of your hands, "And we'll take care of everything. Together." He draws you into him and tucks your head beneath his chin. "I promise. I just want you to be safe."

His voice is a comforting rumble against your ear, and you nod your head against him. "I know," You agree softly.

"Good," He says, pulling back and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Now, since you've been busy all day, why don't you let me make dinner?" You open your mouth to protest, but with one look at his face, you close it again. "After dinner, you can read me the instructions. I'll build the bookshelf."

You smile at your husband. "Thanks for taking care of us, Kiyoomi," You say, and his expression softens.

"Of course. It's my job."

[noosayog]

[7:00 pm] ft. kita shinsuke

wc: 400

When Kita Shinsuke had told you that you were his first serious girlfriend at the age of 26, he had apologized in advance for his “inexperience.” He had never kissed, never held hands, never had sex. His reddening cheeks had been so endearing when you gave them a pinch. 

But his concerns turned out to be completely unfounded, because… 

Currently, he has you pinned underneath him, kissing you without any traces of hesitance. 

He had started off gentle, large palms cupping your face while pressing close-lipped pecks into your lips. Then they were traveling, one hand moving to the back of your neck to simultaneously push you closer and tilt your face up. He slowly lowers you until you’re on your back, one hand making its way down your body until it’s stroking your waist, encouraging you to arch your back and roll your hips against him. 

The thought of slowing down to check in with him goes out the window when his tongue starts to tangle with yours and holy shit it feels like he’s getting more aggressive with every gasp he manages to pull from your throat. Both of his hands capture yours, intertwining your fingers above your head, effectively putting you in a position to surrender. 

And with the next (completely involuntary) roll of your hips, he sticks a pillow underneath your arched lower back. 

“Where did you learn that?” you pant against his lips. 

The look he gives you is innocent and confused. “Figured you might be more comfortable with support. Is that the wrong thing to do? I’m sorry…” 

“No, no. That feels nice. It’s just… how did you know-” 

Satisfied, he cuts you off to continue, pressing even harder than before. It takes two hard tugs of his shirt and three weak pounds to his shoulder to get his attention again. 

Reluctantly, he gives you an inch of space, but he doesn’t break eye contact when he uses a thumb to wipe off his saliva coating the corner of your lips. “You okay?” he rasps. 

“J- just need a second to breathe.” 

He smiles, pressing kisses to your eyelids. 

“You’re really good at this, Shin. Sure you’ve never kissed anyone else before?” 

He ignores your ribbing. “You feel okay now?” 

You giggle. “Uh-huh. But answer the-” 

“Good,” his damp thumb comes up to press on your swollen bottom lip. “Because I’m not done with you yet.”

[fastbrain]

My version of this is

Friend: "Huh I didn't know we skipped February 29th in 2000. I thought it was a leap year."

With this question, you have awoken : D̡̦̝͇͎͕a͔̞̻͉̦͍r̢̻̻̺͉k͍̝͔̫̞ S͔͍͕̘͕͔p̢̙͙̘̘e̫͚͚͖̼͜c̢̪͚͍̫̻i̡̪͍̼͖̦a̢̠̞̝̠l̢̫͉͖͙͜ I̠̻̟̻͔̪n̢͔͇̙̟̼t̡͎̝͎̙̞e̡̡͙͕͜r͖̘̘͍̫e̡̠̝͉͜͜s̡̟̻͍͜t̡͙͖͇͙͓

[lettuce-tv]

&btw all my anything hurts

[confusedcunny]

Detrans December Challenge

Alright I'm doing it! A notes game going from now until 1 December 2023 00:00. The results of the notes will dictate what I'll do during Detrans-December!

Every 10 notes is a day of wearing lace panties. 20 notes: I grow out my hair further. 50 notes: I shave my pussy smooth and keep it smooth. 75 notes: I'll write my deadname on my body. 100 notes: I lower my next T shot with 1/5th. 125 notes: Every 50 notes beyond this point my T is reduced another 1/5th. 150 notes: I shave my whole body smooth and keep it smooth. 175 notes: I draw a womb and ovaries on myself. 200 notes: I dress up in thong, bra, skirt, stockings (as fem as I can with the clothes I have) and share it here. 225 notes: I do more body writing based on your suggestions. 250 notes: I masturbate in girly clothes. 275 notes: I upload myself humping a pillow. 300 notes: I watch a feminization hypnosis every other day. 325 notes: At this point my first shot is skipped. Every 50 notes beyond this point I reduce a fifth of my next shot, and then the next etc. 350 notes: I practice penetration once a week (I'm kinda bad with that right now). 400 notes: I get a pink piece of jewelry for my bellybutton piercing. 450 notes: I watch a feminization hypnosis every day. 500 notes: I go outside dressed in a skirt. 525 notes: I add new goals...

I'm excited to see the results, and who knows, maybe in January I'll really get to say:

"New year, new me!"

[dashoulinas-fandom-dump]

Ok, everyone's been doing this lately, so I also need myself one of those.

Haven't been able to start doing anything for way too long now. I AM planning on starting going through my to do list now on the weekends, but 3 hours in my day I haven't been very successful about it... So some extra motivation would be extremely helpful right now.

Ok, let's do this:

10 notes I'll do my Finnish Duolingo for today (5 lessons)

20 notes I'll start doing some stupid music assignment that'll take 20 min max what even is the point of music assignments?!

40 notes I'll start the other a bit bigger and less stupid music assignment I still don't get the point of music assignments

70 notes I'll write a review of a random piece of media (most likely GO, anybody surprised?) for English class

100 notes I'll clean my room

200 notes I'll complete my part of the Economics presentation (due on Monday)

400 notes I'll start writing my Economics essay (also due on Monday)

700 notes I'll go ahead and learn Finnish for 2-3 hours cos I really need to and I haven't been doing it for a month already so every time I have the online lesson I have no idea what those guys are talking about

950 notes I'll go for a walk (and may or may not buy myself some chocolate)))

1000 notes I'll go to sleep early (like 22:00 early)

All tasks before the cut are all more or less due on Monday

1200 notes I'll learn some Maths I've been putting off for way too long (it's not school work but still. I'm getting dumb without it)

1500 notes I'll start researching for universities for my future studies

1900 notes Do a presentation about the them for sharing in class (why do we have to do this?!)

2000 notes I'll start finally doing my research practice essay task (first part of which was due a month ago😭) (I did confess to the teacher tho, and she said it's not a big deal now, because it's not even graded, but it is for my own good because next year it will be very much graded)

5000 notes and I'll read the book we have to read for the exam and start getting ready to tell the teacher something coherent for 10 min straight on the exam day (I don't think I'll be physically able to do it, I'll start asphyxiating on the second minute of the speech (not that I have breathing problems, but the social anxiety does things to me))

Idk is that the appropriate amount of notes for each task?....

[thetxtdevil]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ New Years Event ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Grape Tradition

Sunoo x Reader

synopsis: The Grape Tradition on New Year is eating a single grape for every 12 strikes of 00:00. You convince Sunoo that doing so will give you great prosperity for the upcoming year.

content: suggestive, bf sunoo, gender neutral reader, finger sucking

word count: 400

devil's note: Happy New Years my demons! This fic is apart of my collaboration with the lovely @jakedustry and @hmusunoo check out their fics of the other members.

Voices buzz from the TV, playing flashbacks of news and memes from the year. The room smelt of oven-baked food, and the warmth was a stark difference from the merry white weather outside. You and Sunoo were lazily draped over the couch, watching the clock. Your legs were over Sunoo’s, and while he was distracted by his phone, you played with your food between your fingertips.

The circular fruit was hard in its frozen state, yet it tasted sweeter, much like holiday festivities. You pluck a red grape off its stem, holding it against your boyfriend’s plush lips. Sunoo’s sharp eyes soften at you, tilting his head towards your direction. With a smile, his eyes glance at the grape in your hand, then your eyes, “What's this?”

“Preparing for tonight, you need to eat and finish 12 grapes within the first minute of the New Year.” Sunoo watches you closely as you talk, admiring how the strands of your hair dance around your head, and how your smile stays on your pretty face as you talk. “They say it brings luck and success to the new year!” You finish your explanation by popping a grape into your mouth.

Sunoo smiles, “Is that so,” with a quirk of an eyebrow he opens his mouth. You couldn’t help yourself but also get lost in his very own beauty. Sunoo rolls his eyes realizing that you didn’t understand his gesture, he then grabs your hand leading them into the bowl of grapes. A small “oh” falls from your lips finally grasping the situation. Tugging another grape out of the container of green and red grapes you grab one repeating your action from earlier.

Holding the fruit back to his pretty pink lips again, you push it into his mouth. One after another becomes more and more sensual. From an accidental lick of his tongue to slipping your whole fingers into his mouth, making out with them. Your cheeks hot and blushed you stare at his sultry eyes, “S-sunoo you’re making this more than the grapes.”

With a pop, he frees your digits from his mouth. A turn of his plush lips making a sweet smile with a hint of mischief. Sunoo’s face moves closer to yours until your body has nowhere to go other than the couch's cushions, looking up at his beauty hovering over you, and then his warm breath fans over your face as he says, “No need for grapes when I have all the luck and success knowing that you’re mine.”

Yours Cruelly,

Enhypen's Lucifer

taglist: @izzyy-stuff, @biteyoubiteme, @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling

[fjorn-the-skald]

Setting the Stage for the VIKING AGE, ft. the MIGRATION PERIOD - A History Raid with Fjorn the Skald

Today we’re raiding the Migration Period (dates vary, but 400-600 CE is the gist) to show how it set the stage for the Viking Age. It’s just a brief overview, but we talk about how the ‘fall’ of the Roman Empire was a bit more complicated than most assume, how catastrophic eruptions a world away triggered a “real” Ragnarok, and how that mess enabled the North to reshape itself into what would, eventually, give way to the Vikings.

Key Timestamps:

0:10 - “A longue durée” and what that means for history

1:00 - “Barbarians” (aka the fall of Rome and migrations form the north)

3:48 - The “real” Ragnarok (environmental catastrophe)

As a reminder, this video only covers ~400-550 CE. We’ll plunder the other half of pre-Viking Age history, 550-750 CE, next time.

As always, if something is wrong, misrepresented, or lacking in this video, please let me know in the comments! I’ll amend whatever I can through careful research and consideration.

[lisaloutwo]

Meal 1 (9:00 AM): Blended Breakfast Purée

• McDonald’s Big Breakfast with Hotcakes (3 orders): 4,020 calories

• 6 Hash Browns: 960 calories

• Large Caramel Frappuccino: 470 calories

• Maple Syrup and Extra Butter: 450 calories

Preparation:

Blend the Big Breakfasts, hash browns, syrup, butter, and frappuccino into a smooth purée. Add water or milk as needed to reach a thin enough consistency for a funnel.

Total: 5,900 calories

Meal 2 (11:00 AM): Doughnut and Coffee Smoothie

• Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts (12-pack): 2,280 calories

• 6 Chocolate Iced Doughnuts: 2,280 calories

• 2 Cinnabon Classic Rolls: 1,760 calories

• Large Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha: 620 calories

Preparation:

Blend the doughnuts, Cinnabon rolls, and white chocolate mocha into a rich, sugary purée. Add water, milk, or cream to thin out the texture.

Total: 6,940 calories

Meal 3 (1:00 PM): Pizza and Soda Purée

• Pizza Hut Large Stuffed Crust Meat Lovers Pizza (2 pizzas): 6,960 calories

• Garlic Cheese Breadsticks (8 pieces): 2,320 calories

• 2 Large Pepsi (32 oz): 400 calories

Preparation:

Blend the pizzas, garlic breadsticks, and Pepsi together into a savory purée. Add additional soda or water as necessary to thin out for the funnel.

Total: 9,680 calories

Meal 4 (3:00 PM): Burger and Fries Shake

• Five Guys Bacon Cheeseburgers (3 burgers): 3,180 calories

• Five Guys Large Fries (3 orders): 3,930 calories

• Five Guys Large Chocolate Milkshake with Whipped Cream (2): 2,000 calories

Preparation:

Blend the burgers, fries, and milkshakes together to create a rich, thick purée. Add more milkshake or milk as needed for consistency.

Total: 9,110 calories

Meal 5 (6:00 PM): Nugget and Fries Combo Purée

• McDonald’s 60-piece Chicken McNuggets: 2,820 calories

• 3 Large Fries: 1,470 calories

• 4 McDonald’s Apple Pies: 920 calories

• 2 Large Coca-Colas: 620 calories

Preparation:

Blend the McNuggets, fries, apple pies, and Coca-Cola together. Use additional soda or water to ensure smoothness.

Total: 5,830 calories

Meal 6 (9:00 PM): Dessert Frenzy

• Dairy Queen Large Oreo Blizzard (2): 2,280 calories

• Large Brownie Batter Blizzard: 1,340 calories

• 2 Cheesecake Blizzards: 2,280 calories

Preparation:

Blend all Blizzard desserts together for a thick, ice cream-based purée. Add some milk or cream to reach the desired consistency.

Total: 5,900 calories

Daily Total: 30,360 calories

🤯🤯🤯

[mockerycrow]

"I thought we were past this," with foap please 🫶

400 Follower Celebration

—“I thought we were past this.”— With John “Soap” MacTavish

Summary: Johnny ended up getting an eye infection and swears up and down he doesn’t have any issues with stuff near his eyes. spoiler alert: he does!

[WARNINGS: none, fluff.]

The alarm on your phone ringed out as it hit 8:00 AM and luckily for you, you were already awake. Your phone is vibrating angrily on the kitchen counter as you make breakfast for you and your boyfriend Johnny, who’s currently bundled up in blankets on your shared couch, sporting two infected eyes.

“John, it’s time for your eye drops!” You call out, tapping the “stop” button on your phone, ceasing the vibrations that nearly causes your phone to topple over the edge.

You wait for a response or for his footsteps, but you hear nothing. “Did’ya hear me?” You say a bit louder, using the tongs to flip the bacon on the pan. You again listen for signs of life over the grease popping noise coming from the pan, and you sigh. “I swear to god.” You mutter, turning the burner down to a low temperature.

You put the tongs on the paper towel covered plate and you quickly make your way from your kitchen, through your dining room, and you find yourself in Johnny’s last known location; but he isn’t there. You groan, finding his favorite blue blanket abandoned on the couch, along with his tissues and the TV remote.

You can’t help but laugh a little bit because the thing that provoked this reaction is eyedrops. Your loud-mouthed, competitive and cocky boyfriend runs scared from eyedrops. Your boyfriend who is quite literally in an elite task force, your boyfriend who is a trained goddamn sniper and demolitions expert. “I thought we were past this!” You shout, scanning the room with your eyes.

You knew he could be sneaky when he wanted to be, but you’ve been with him long enough to know his regular hiding spots and the spaces he thought you didn’t know about, but of course you do.

So, there began your search. You searched behind the curtain of the living room, you searched the bathroom, behind the shower curtain and all, the hallway closet that stored a variety of things, everything. Yet you could not find him. You sigh, nearly giving up to just text him, you have an idea. You didn’t check the garage.

You grab the eyedrops and walk down the hall and you open the garage door that’s connected to the house. You flip the light switch on and you find Johnny fucking hiding in the car. He looks at you with a deer in headlights look through the window and you burst out laughing, a harsh wheeze being ripped from your lungs. He fucking hid in the car?? “I- Alright, oookaayy Johnny,” You giggle, trying to open the car door but finding it’s locked. “Get out of the car so we can get this over with.”

“Over my dead body!” He yells, muffled but you can still hear his thick accent clear as day.

You sigh and enter the house and for a moment, Johnny thinks he’s safe—until he hears the car doors unlock.

He forgot this is also your car.

[lucca-strangee]

Oioi, sentiram minha falta? :)

Peço perdão a quem se preocupou, comentou, mandou mensagem ou ask e eu não respondi.

Em resumo, estou em 2 empregos, saindo de casa 6:40h e voltando só 00:30h!! Não tenho tempo de pegar no celular, durmo 3-4h por dia, estou realmente no limite...

É uma longa história, mas minha mãe está recebendo menos e acidentada, eu PRECISO do dinheiro porque tenho 2 irmãs, 2 pets e 1 encosto do caralho em casa pra sustentar.

Não posso me dar o luxo de fazer NF e passar mal, porque PRECISO do emprego é por um motivo bem maior do que simplesmente "não passar mal".

Carga de trabalho de 12h + horas extras (que fico na rua porque não dá tempo de ir em casa e voltar, o ônibus demora e me atrasaria pro segundo emprego) = 18h na rua.

Estou comendo marmita do que minha mãe fizer e tem pão na empresa.

Ganhei 1kg eu acho, pode ser pouco pra vocês, mas eu evito espelho e cogitei su*c*d*0. Não aguento me ver assim, além de estar inchado por comer coisas fora da minha dieta. Não tenho TEMPO de preparar minhas refeições do meu jeito.

Não vou desativar daqui, mas aos poucos irei ver comentários, pois tem umas 400 notificações de 1 mês acumulado e... vou desativar as asks... :(

Amo todos vocês, obrigado pelo apoio de sempre e DESCULPEM pela preocupação, de verdade!!!

.

.

Beijinhos a todos, estou disponível no meu twt: lulu_rotten

Vou tentar postar um pouco e interagir quando der, mas folgando só 1 domingo no mês e só pela tarde toda quinta é difícil.

[thegoogoomuckkk]

club -> prologue -> you’re a dancer at the most infamous, exclusive club in tokyo, & you happen to be in very high demand. when your boss hands you your list of clientele this week, you’re not sure how you’ll make it out on the other side. You’ll just have to hope they take it easy on you. . .

“shiu, how am I supposed to do this? I mean, these guys are like famous,” you whine, looking up, up, up, at your boss. god, he was tall.  you felt confident in taking almost any guy to bed with you, but these were some of the most famous sorcerers in the entire world. you hadn’t met most of them, but you certainly knew of them. he'd done this to you on purpose, that was the only explanation you could even consider: why else would you be fucking 6 of the most revered jujutsu sorcerers in the world? a better question might be why they were coming to a strip club to get their action; you imagined they could have any woman they want. who knows how your boss had advertised you. . .probably as some crazy sex goddess.

“‘dunno, princess, but knowing you, I'm sure you’ll figure somethin’ out, huh?” he peered at you, oh so meanly. you brushed passed him, obviously displeased with his answer. he was right, though, you’d just have to figure it out. 

shiu kong owned the exclusive little club you danced at, which might also have something to do with why your upcoming week looked like it did: he was acquaintances with handfuls of sorcerers, apparently even the really good, really hot ones. typically, you put on a couple hourly shows a few nights a week, & went home, underwear stuffed with tips. but seven nights in a row, with a lineup of men that only appeared in your dreams. . .no way were you making it out alive. 

you’d seen some of them before, but you were a burlesque dancer, not for hire, so it didn’t really matter if you recognized them or if they recognized you. but stupid shiu, he’d decided to up the ante. you’d offhandedly made a comment about how much money he’d make if he opened up his cutesy burlesque club to more. . .serious customers, or rather paying customers. of course, they had to pay an entrance fee, & alcohol was quite expensive, but they weren’t required to tip the dancers or the waitresses, not if they didn’t want to. but “you could charge them like, tons of money, shiu. these guys are crazy rich, & I'm sure they’d love a little action, no strings attached.” 

you’d been right, of course, you were always right, but your intention had not been for shiu to advertise you as the action they would be paying for. you should’ve expected this, really, when had he ever made your life easier? 

it’s just seven days, you reminded yourself. the contract you’d signed only stated that you owed him seven days of this little charade. you wouldn’t agree to more. . .not unless you wanted to, of course. however, after the week was up, you weren’t sure you would be coming back to work at all. 

you sighed, making your way through the back of the bar, head down, staring at the absurd list shiu had given you. the lineup was as follows: 

monday night, 8:30pm: choso kamo. you chortled a little at this. who schedules a lap dance for 8:30pm? how old was this guy, 80? I mean, the club opened at 8:00, it was practically going to be empty besides the workers. $250 - 1 hour.

tuesday night, 11:00pm: hiromi higuruma. oh, fuck you, shiu. the cheeky little bastard had scribbled next to your client’s name, “massage therapy.” $400 - 1 hour.

the next one seemed to be the most normal of the list. wednesday night, 10:15pm sharp. the little note he’d left emphasized the 'sharp'. okay, this guy had a schedule to keep, you could respect that, considering you also had a schedule to keep, though you doubted they were very similar. kento nanami, oral sex. yeah, this would be a cakewalk; it would certainly not be the first time you’d sucked a guy off, & wouldn’t be the last. you were ceaselessly amazed at the prices of each night, getting steeper & steeper. you couldn't fathom being willing to pay such money for sex; in fact, not even real sex, just parts of it. plus, you didn't really know how to make a blowjob last for 120 minutes. not like this guy would even last a quarter of that anyways, right? $500 - 2 hours.

thursday night, 9:45pm: kiyotaka ijichi. now this one was puzzling. under the services section, as shiu had so aptly titled it, was “whatever she wants to do to him.” I guess the poor guy just couldn’t make up his mind. $350 - 1 hour.

friday night (morning, technically), 1:00am: satoru gojo & suguru geto. it took all the patience you had not to rip up the paper right then & there. those assholes. satoru & suguru were regulars at your club, frequently standing front row, watching predatorily as you danced. & you supposed you couldn’t hate them too much because they tipped you like money grew on trees. for them, it probably did. but they always liked to push your buttons; there were rules when it came to the shows, most importantly, no touching. they didn’t listen to that one, that’s for sure. maybe that’s what scared you about a whole night with them; they’d reserved you for four hours. $1,000 - 4 hours.

saturday night, 12:00am: takuma ino, who’d left a little message for you, quote: “I don’t really know, I guess whatever she’s comfortable with.” what a cutie, if you had it in you, you’d have to show him just how much you’re comfortable with. $500 - 45 minutes.

& then the mystery. sunday night. no name, & no services requested, just an allotment of time from 7:00pm to 11:00pm. but the club didn’t even open until 8:00. you’d have to find time to ask shiu, though you doubted he’d have any useful information for you. 

you were too busy pondering over the next 7 days that you found yourself shoving your face into the hard chest of someone else. you yelped as you bounced backward. “you oughta watch where you’re goin’, pretty thing.” you almost began to feel bad for running directly into someone, but any guilt you’d begun to feel vanished. 

“screw off, toji.” of course, your least favorite bartender. 

“lookin’ at your schedule, huh?” he whistles, almost apologetically, but you know him better than that. “busy girl. bet you’re lookin’ forward to it, huh?” it’s sneering & annoying.

“tell that to shiu, I'm never saying yes to him again.” not that you’ll have the chance; you’re confident you’re not making it out of this week alive. 

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