#4 days no work is fuckin boring

[mini-uzzy]

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[autisticaradiamegido]

day 70

ok yall seemed to enjoy clownradia so here is a destiny clownsona doing a silly little dance

[moechies]

kinktober ⋆౨ৎ entry #4 ; brat taming w shuji hanma .ᐟ

dear diary ♡,

i hate hate hate shuji hanma so much! god, he makes my life unbearable -- walking into that office everyday is like a form of torture! he's always teasing me, making fun of me non-stop, and every time i walk into his office completely fine i come out a huge, frustrated mess! and it ruins my entire day too, god. why does he have such a huge impact on me? it's so frustrating . . . anything he says to me or says about me will stick for at least a week -- he doesn't even seem to stop pestering me when i get off of work. how long will i last in this stupid office before i break? ugh! that would be so embarrassing . . . ironically i'm writing his from work so i better hide this away before hanma catches me! i'll see you later diary :(

"little lady, come in here." hanma commands with a lithe finger, pointing a low finger at your trailing body outside of his office. you had tried your best to sneak by his office and back to yours without being seen by the man, but the tall glass panes that are only see through from the inside of his office are of no help. you cringe, the hairs on the back of your neck standing frozen when you hear the familiar, sultry grime of his voice, walking defeatedly into his office before gently shutting the door behind you.

"yes, sir? what can i do for you?" you grin subtly, hiding your distress with fiddling fingers behind your back.

"so formal today? you're in my office wearin' a skimpy little skirt and a sheer shirt that barely covers your nipples, hun." he grumbles with a laugh, setting his arms down against the marble desk.

you scoff — dropping your previous dear little secretary act with a subtle roll of your eye. "shut up, hanma. you're not any much better than me . . . having s—sex with all those workers on this very desk." you point to the marble stable in front of you, mumbling a soft 'gross' under your breath — the least bit repulsed that you're standing in the same space as this satyriasis you call your boss.

"are you jealous, little lady? he laughs.

"n—never." you huff, tugging your skirt down out of habit. the atmosphere is tense and warm, and you can feel his glare boring into the side of your skull. he takes a sudden move, leaving his original seating and making his way towards you. he fumbles with his sleeve, fixing the crease slightly before stepping before you — nearly chest to chest. “you're so weird, hanma."

hanma leans low, lips inches away from your ear. it's disgustingly seductive — how close he is. it’s even worse when you find yourself not minding the intimate position.

“don't call me that name, doll. no need to be so formal, remember?" he turns his head to grin besides you, but soon moves back to his original position to whisper again, "by the way, i can see your cute little nipples, doll."

you scramble away from the man, arm defensively coming to cover across your chest. “per—pervert! ‘s cold in here.” you cry with a heavy blush that paints your face. you're met with a smug grin with no means to punish you for your indecency, but rather low glinting eyes with the opposite intent. "come here, girl."

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

it hurts. everything does — your thighs are sore, red streaks left across your bare tits, and your cunt aches despite shuji’s spent stuffing you full.

“s—shuji,” you cry. you’re met with a soft hum besides your ear, the sultry noise making you wince. his slender fingers force the small of your back against the table, arching you nicely before taking his cock head to your pussy. “n—n’more…”

“hmm, she’s holding all my fuckin’ nut in so well.” he groans, dragging his cock head through your spent folds. the action causes cum to dribble slightly, warm cum coating your clit and dripping onto the ground.

“c’mere.” hanma lifts you from where you had been bent over previously, switching positions with you. his back leans against the table, hoisting you onto the slant of his lap and forcing your naked body to face the glassed windows of his office. you’re quick to panic, whining and you fumble in his grasp. it’s especially terrifying when you see one of hanma’s hookups walk past, pointing at hanma’s office to her co-worker — and giggling.

her glare looks directly into yours, twisting your body to face hanma’s as you hide your face in the crevice of his chest. “n—no, shuji !”

“doll. you know they can’t see anything, right?” hanma chuckles. “what, you don’t want her to see you like this?”

you whine, looking up at hanma with large, watery eyes. “don’ wanna face the glass, p—please.”

he hums at your request -- but faces your body outwards once again. he lifts you onto his lap once again, but this time, slotting you on top of his cock and dragging you down his length by your arms. you're quick to squeal, filled up by shuji's heavy dick yet again in mere seconds. he groans at the feeling of his own nut painting his cock once he's inside.

"shuji!" you quip when another co-worker passes by -- what if the glass were to suddenly malfunction and everybody could see your naked body? you spiral. not to mention, your naked cunt lodged onto your boss' cock? what if—

"need to show you and your pretty pussy off. how these office sluts can't take me like you can. you're perfect, damn it." shuji moans, pumping roughly into your sore cunt. "you're c—creamin' all over me, little lady."

"s--shut up, shut up.." you cry, body damn hot. his hands feel as if they're burning against your skin. “g’cum ‘gain—“

“mhm, yeah you are. ‘cause you’re a little slutttt.” hanma moans, stifling when he feels your gummy walls clench at his crude words.

“n—not a slut ! shuji, shuji— !“

“that’s impossible, slut.”

[milla-frenchy]

4k1 | Joel Miller x fem reader Summary: Joel takes you to Degradation Town Warnings: 18+mdni. CNC. PWP. Assault, gun threat, degradation, size kink, oral (m receiving), boob job, fingering, pussy slapping, face slapping, bondage, unprotected piv, rimming, anal, cum eating a/n : @aurorawritestoescape and I wrote this fic together. How amazing is that, to meet someone who lives in another part of the world, and to write a 4 hands fic. We want to thank our Dark Queen @toxicanonymity for creating an amazing community where Kate and I met 🖤  Love you both 🫶🫶🫶 The fic is named after The Kills album “Keep on your mean side” and the song “Hitched”. ao3

Kate's masterlist | My masterlist

It was a warm day at the beginning of the fall. The breeze was a bit chilly but the sun rays filtering through the canopy of the forest trees didn’t let you get cold. The crunching of dry leaves under your steps made you feel uneasy. You  didn’t want to attract any clickers. Your gaze was on the ground and you were searching for some mushrooms. 

Your thoughts carried you to the time when you would go foraging with your parents, many years ago. It was a hobby back then, not a necessity. You felt a dull pang in your chest. The memory of such a distant past now, as if it happened not in another life but in a completely different dimension, not to you but to a version of yourself. 

Deep in thought you missed another set of steps crunching the fallen leaves. Suddenly you sensed someone else’s gaze on you and was about to turn around ready to take your gun out to protect yourself, but it was too late. Huge arms gripped you from behind squeezing your frame tight and keeping your arms pressed to your body. 

“The fuck?!” you exclaimed and tried to headbutt the man behind you but he swerved your hit. You were fruitlessly wiggling in his steel embrace. 

 “Let m-me go, you fucker!!”

“Shhhh..” the man shushed you, placing his hot palm over your mouth to shut you up. His hand smelt of smoke and along with a loud drum of your heart you felt a tingle between your thighs.

He quickly disarmed you, taking your gun out of your holster and throwing it away into the bushes. The man was huge and strong and you were helpless against him. Yet you couldn’t give in so easily. So you quickly lifted up your foot and stepped down hard on the attacker’s boot. 

“Fuckin’ bitch!”

He winced and pushed you hard on the ground. You fell on all fours, got up to run but he quickly grabbed you by the hair and pulled you back to face him. “Not so fast, little slut!”

You screamed with a pain stinging your eyes, and looked up at him towering over you. The man was in his late fifties. His dark eyes were boring into you under the frowning brows. A gray shirt was strained by his broad shoulders and muscular arms. He was wearing jeans and you couldn’t help but glance at his prominent bulge. Was he semi hard? Now you had little doubt about the plans he had for you. 

Your eyes darted from tree to tree trying to see if he was accompanied or alone.

“Where d’ya think you're goin’ like this? You must be fuckin’ stupid to walk in the woods by yourself.”

He was holding your arm tight. You tried to pull away but he was too strong. You tried to reason with him, your voice shaky and small, “I’m not alone. I'm here as a scout, my group is close.”

“It’s cute, but I don’t think so. You’re on my perimeter. The only group here's mine. It’s so deserted around here, it’s been ages since I’ve come across a woman like you.” 

He put his hand on his crotch.

“Like me?”

“On your knees”

“Don’t think so,” you spat out at him. 

He smirked and pulled his gun out from the back of his jeans. 

“On your knees. Don’t wanna repeat.”

"No, wait. I can... we can work it out. Make trades.”

He pointed his gun at you and growled, “Last warning.”

You stared down the barrel contemplating your next move. 

“Fuck…”

He smirked again.

You got on your knees and he undid his belt before letting it fall to the ground. Then he unzipped his jeans, took out his cock, and approached you.

Your eyes widened and he smiled, “Yeah, I know. Now suck.”

“Please. Don’t do this to me.”

He removed the safety of his gun and pointed the barrel at your forehead.

“You’re really starting to piss me off.”

You stopped resisting. He just wanted you to suck him off. Could be worse. You might as well make him cum quickly in your mouth and be rid of it.

You quickly licked the tip of his cock, before placing your lips on it. You had trouble taking it all in your mouth, and you kept your lips only on the tip.

“Damn, you don’t even know how to suck a cock?”

Keeping the gun pointed at your forehead, he grabbed the back of your head with his other hand and held you still, while he thrusted into your mouth with a buck of his hips. He grunted, and keeping his hand against your head, began fucking your mouth at a quick pace.

“Yeah that’s it. Take it. Fuckin’ slut. Not used to sucking big cocks, are ya?”

Tears were beading in the corners of your eyes, you could barely breathe, his cock was hitting the back of your throat with each stroke. Your hands were gripping the jeans on his strong thighs. He stopped abruptly, keeping his cock buried deep in your throat.

“Don’t you dare fucking move.”

You waited, trapped between his grip and his cock. Then he released you and withdrew completely. You coughed and sputtered, holding your sore throat.

He laughed, “I don’t know how you survived this far. Surely not by sucking cocks. Again, now!"

You shook your head but he held you the same way as before, thrusting in and fucking your mouth fast and deep again. He tucked the gun into the back of his pants and grabbed your head with both hands before claiming you even faster and harder. He paused again, staying deep in your mouth, and said, "Good girl."

He pulled away and said: “Maybe you could get better with practice. Too bad I don't have time to find out. You're not worth wasting food on."

Before he could grab his gun, you quickly got up and ran towards the nearest trees, so he couldn't shoot you in the back. But he was fast, and didn't even try to reach for his gun. He ran after you and within seconds he was on your heels. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you down.

You plunged down on the ground, dry leaves softening your fall. You tried to crawl away but he straddled your ass. The man was heavy and you felt your hips sink into the soil under you. 

“Get off me! Take all my stuff… Just let me go!” you pleaded but he just laughed. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head back.  You cried out and winced at the sensation of his patchy beard scratching your cheek. 

“Stupid slut, ya really think I need your junk?” he growled in your ear and nuzzled your neck. Your  eyes rolled back at the sensation. 

“Your holes are all that you're good for.” 

He turned you over roughly and straddled your hips again. He clasped both of your wrists with one hand and pinned them over your head. He was panting and you saw drops of sweat on his forehead. His odor, an overwhelming mixture of sweat and musk, reached your nostrils. 

You were staring up at him with your eyes widened by fear. His grin was carnal and he was ogling down your body. Then he grabbed the neckline of your tank top and pulled it down in one swift motion, ripping the fabric easily. You cried out feeling the burn on your skin. Your whole chest was exposed to him now, and he quickly grabbed your breasts, squeezed them and then painfully twitched your perked up nipples.  A whine escaped your lips which didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

“Ain’t I lucky? Got myself a real whore. My men will love your pretty sounds when they’re stuffing your needy cunt.” 

He let go of your hands and you were about to fight when you saw him take out his gun. 

“Let’s start easy,” he said and you felt the cold muzzle pressed to your forehead. 

“Push them together,” he pointed at your breasts with a jerk of his head. 

You followed his order, pressing your tits together. You did not want to get shot. His hand reached behind your neck and he lifted up your upper body. “Make ‘em nice and juicy for me.” He was squeezing your neck tight and you glanced up at him with glossy eyes. 

Then you dropped your head down and spat. It landed on your chest and slid down between your breasts.

“More”, he commanded and gave your head a shake. You gathered more saliva in your mouth and opened your lips to let it dribble out. The man’s gaze followed its path, his eyes blown out, and when it reached your plush breasts he began smearing the liquid over your tits with his thick fingers, gliding them through your cleavage and then rubbing it over your perked up nipples. You whined. 

The man stood up on his knees on both sides of your hips and took out his leaking cock. You were following his every move pushing your breasts together for him to use. 

“Look at you! Waiting to be titty fucked. Bet that’s why you were walkin’ alone in the woods- were waitin’ for a nice big cock to find ya.”

He grabbed you by the neck and quicky pushed his cock between your tits and started fucking them. You were sitting as still as possible, watching him use you for his pleasure, his mouth agape and half lidded eyes devouring the sight of your glistening breasts massaging his cock. 

You were mesmerized by the movements of his tip sliding closer and then further away from your face. 

“Don’t just stare, slut, lick it!” 

Still holding your tits for him, you stuck your tongue out and every time the angry red head approached your face, you kitten-licked its weeping slit. 

You pressed your thighs together looking for some pressure on your pussy. You moaned softly and the man noticed it. Still looking at you with dazed eyes, he smirked.

“What is it, little whore? Your pussy wants attention, huh?”

Having said that, he released your neck and not expecting it you fell back on the ground. 

Pointing the gun at your face he kicked your thighs apart with his knee. “Let’s see her.”

You inhaled sharply, and did what he told you- slid the jeans and panties down your legs exposing yourself to him. He snatched the underwear off your ankles and pressed them to his nose. 

He closed his eyes, breathing in your scent and slowly pumping his throbbing cock. ”Soaked them through, ya dirty girl. Your sloppy cunt really wants my dick.” 

Then he leaned over you with a groan and shoved your panties into your whining mouth. 

“Taste, yourself, slut. Come on. Open your legs. Wider…”

You opened up your thighs and looked up at him. His broad frame covered you from the sun completely, his face close to yours. The taste of your own slick turned you on. 

One second you felt his fingers at your entrance and the next he plunged them into your pussy. The arousal flowing out of you made the intrusion almost painless and you felt so full so fast, your head started spinning. His groan brought you back.  

“Mmm, fuck yeah, so wet. Bet you can soak many cocks right now.” He lowered his head, pulled your panties out of your mouth and grazed his lips over yours, not kissing you yet your heart seemed to stop at that moment. “S’good that I stumbled on ya, little slut. My men will be pleased.”

As fast as he filled you, he pulled his fingers out and sat back on his knees between your thighs. Your pussy clamped around nothing. You felt a cold breeze on your wet folds and wiggled on the ground. 

“Lie still!” the man snapped and slapped your pussy so hard you yelped and started crying. You chewed on your lip trying to control your emotions but all of them drowned you whole and your chest was shaking with sobs. 

The attacker’s dark smile sent chills all over your trembling body. He quickly gave your poor pussy another blow, less painful yet you tried to close your legs. That really angered him. 

“Fuckin’ pain in the ass. Can’t stay still, dumb whore. You’re gonna get it anyway.”

He grabbed your neck with one hand, and you instinctively stood up following his movements, your throat already sore from the way he fucked your mouth.

He dragged you to his backpack and pulled out a rope while maintaining his grip on your neck. You felt all your hairs stand up, and the blood left your face. He pulled you to the nearest tree, against which he pinned you, back to the trunk. He pressed himself to you, straining his hard cock against your naked pussy. He put your hands above your head and tied them to the tree with the rope. He squeezed so hard while tying your wrists that you started sobbing again.

He took a few steps back to look at you, naked from the waist down, your breasts exposed, your top torn in half. Then he took his cock in his hand.

“No…please… I'll do anything"

"Oh, you will", he said, smirking.

He came up, pressed himself against you and spread your legs with his knees, before pushing his cock into your pussy. You cried out, being split open by his huge member. His fingers had prepared you a little but he was so big and girthy you felt a slight burning. He put his hand over your mouth and asked “Really wanna scream and get my men here to ruin your holes?”

You froze looking into his dark hungry eyes.

“So? Fuckin answer me.”

You shook your head.

“That’s better,” he said, removing his hand.

He sped up the thrusting but the position didn't allow him to fuck you as deep as he wanted. So he grabbed your thighs in his hands and put them around his waist, before sliding into you again and bottoming out this time, in one go.

“No! No… please…. I can’t.”

He growled against your ear scratching your cheek with his stubble, picking up the pace. 

“Fuckin slut. Gonna take you back to my camp. My men will enjoy your… fuck… your pussy.”

"No! Please!"

“Oh fuck that’s good. Your cunt is fuckin tight. Fuuuuck…”

He was making you bounce on his cock, holding your thighs so tight against him that he was hitting  your cervix with each stroke.

“How many guys can fuck you before you pass out, huh? Your pussy’d be so full of cum that we’d call you our cumbag, before fucking you again. So long since we fucked a wet hole like yours. Oh fuck…. that’s good.”

He didn’t slow down and still was fucking you just as hard and fast. You couldn’t help but moan as his dick was massaging your g-spot. 

“You have so many holes to fill, dumb slut. It would be a shame to use just one, yeah?” he asked, panting against your ear. “We can fuck your pussy, mouth and ass at the same time. Fuck all your three holes, for hours. What'd ya think of it, bitch?”

Suddenly his hands let go of your thighs and you put your feet back on the ground, your legs weak and shaking after the pounding. “Let’s see your ass, slut,” he murmured and started untying your hands. When your hands were free you almost fell on the ground exhausted but he grasped your hair and pulled you up. 

“Not done with you. Turn around.”

“Please, no,” you begged, your voice quiet and weak but he answered your pleading with a slap on your tear-stained cheek. Your skin burned and not wanting to make him angry again, you followed his command and turned around. He grabbed your hands and pinned them around the tree like you were hugging it, tying them together. 

His finger glided along the scratches on your back and ass, left by the tree bark after his rough fucking and he slapped your ass cheek so hard your breath hitched. A half moan half sob left your lips and you pressed your body to the tree to get further away from your attacker. 

“What are you doing? Please, no… not that.” You begged him with tremors in your voice.

He didn’t answer. You turned your head to look at him, but his eyes were fixed on your ass. He spread your cheeks with his hands.

“Damn…,” he said.

He left one of his hands on one of your buttocks to keep spreading them, and brushed your asshole with his fingers. Without lingering on it he glided them down to your pussy and plunged two fingers into you.

“Can’t believe ya’re soaked getting fucked by a stranger who jumped you. You wanted that, huh? Fuckin slut.”

He drew his fingers out, and this time went back up to your asshole. He placed his middle finger on your ring and gently pressed it. Surprisingly gently, considering how violent he had been so far.

That didn’t stop you from panicking. You couldn't take it there. He was too big.

He pressed harder on the ring. The tip of his middle finger prodded inside just a little. He went back to your pussy and collected your wetness again, then returned to your ass, gliding his fingers along your skin on the way. He pressed on your asshole, and this time it gave in more.

You were paralyzed. Restricted by the rope on your hands, by his physical power. By your fear which froze you.

He pressed his body to you, and whispered in your ear, “This one is really tight.”

You swallowed, and wondered if he was really gonna do it. If he was just trying to scare you, or if... and then he pushed his middle finger in further, up to the knuckle. He moved it in and out, but you were so tight around his finger.

He removed it and pressed his cock to your ass. He whispered in your ear, “How am I gonna fit all my cock in it? You should relax if you don’t want it to be too painful.”

You felt him kneel behind you. He spread your ass cheeks with his hands, wide. And spat. You felt saliva flow from the top of the crease of your ass, down to your asshole. He didn't move, as if he was watching it slide.

The moment you felt the liquid reach your ring, he added his tongue to it. He slid it down and spread the saliva around your tense muscle.

And he licked your ass, slowly. He didn’t rush it. His hands were still spreading your buttocks, his mouth not leaving your asshole for a second, working his tongue over it. He pulled back slightly, and licked his middle finger before pressing it against your rear entrance. He went in easily this time. He took it out, and added a second finger. You bit your upper arm. Again he licked your ass. You felt his tongue searching you, his saliva moistening your hole.

“Mmm”, he said.

He got up and you heard him spit into his hand, before applying the saliva to his tip. He grabbed your shoulder with one hand for leverage and pressed his cock against your ring.

You struggled, pulling on the rope.

“Fuck! Stop that, you’re pissin’ me off again.”

You didn’t stop until you heard the click of his gun again. Then you felt the cold metal against your temple and froze.

“I’m gonna fuck your ass. Whether you’re alive, or not. Your choice."

His voice was ice cold.

You closed your eyes and relaxed your muscles as best you could. And you felt him push. Force passage. It seemed like an eternity, and he growled against your ear.

“So…fuckin tight.”

In a second the tip of his cock entered. You gasped from the pain.

He pulled back before pushing again and you cried out.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch” he said, before putting his hand over your mouth and pressing the muzzle to your temple more firmly.

He made back and forth movements, bigger and bigger. Sinking into you a little deeper each time.

“Oh yeah… oh fuck! Oh that ass…. fuck.”

He picked up the pace.

“You know what I want now? I want ya to cum on my cock. My big cock ruining your ass.”

You shook your head. No way you’d give him that. But he slid his hand down to your pussy, pushing you away from the trunk a little. He lingered on your clit, before burying two fingers in your pussy.

“Still dripping.. such a good slut for me.”

He applied the same rhythm to his cock and his fingers. You bit your lip, trying not to give him what he wanted. He felt your holes contracting, his fingers still in your pussy. 

“No… stop it.”

You felt the gun press to your temple again.

“Gimme what I want. I want you to squeeze my cock while you cum.”

You felt your body react to his fingers. The wave was coming. You tried to stop it, but to no avail. Your breathing quickened.

"Oh, yeah. You're gonna be a good girl for me, I can feel it. Fuck, you’re really gonna cum for a man you don’t know, a man who’s assaulting you. What kinda whore does that?”

He kept sliding his thumb over your clit, two fingers in your pussy, his cock in your ass. Your core tightened as you came with a long moan, not being able to hold back any longer. 

“Oh fuck yeah! Squeezing my cock and my fingers. What a slut! Oh fuck!”

The waves of climax shook your body time and time again. you shut your eyes tight feeling your holes clamping around his cock and fingers.

“Fuckin hell, little thing, it’s so tight. Nah, wanna see your face.” He pulled his cock out of your asshole and his fingers left your stretched pussy. He rushed to untie your hands, his cock throbbing and smearing his precum and your juices on your back. 

He roughly turned you around and being absolutely spent you plopped on your knees. The man didn’t mind. His hand grabbed your hair and he held your head up, his glistening tip being just a few inches from your face. 

“Gonna paint your face now. Open wide.” You parted your lips and closed your eyes but he slapped your cheek again. 

“Eyes on the prize, slut!”

You followed his command and looked at his big veiny hand pumping his cock vigorously. It was drenched with your combined fluids and the sounds of squelching and his heavy breathing filled the air around you. He moaned and started coming, shooting thick ropes of cum on your face. You felt them on your cheeks, nose, tongue and lips. In your mind you thanked him for not coming into your eyes. 

He milked the last drop out of his cock and then looked down at you with half lidded eyes. The lips twitched up with a small smile as he observed his work.  

“Oh, look at ya, all filthy, my little slut,” he cooed at you mockingly. “Show me.” He took your chin with his fingers and lifted it up. You opened your mouth wider showing his cum glistening on your tongue. He huffed with a proud look. “Such a good whore for me. Now let’s clean you up.” 

Still holding your face by the chin, he began collecting his spend with his finger and wiping it on your tongue. You felt his salty cum slide down and into your throat. Your eyes teared up but he didn’t let you close your mouth until your face was clean. 

“Swallow,” he said calmly as his hand left your chin. 

Your throat contracted, downing all of his cum and you licked your lips. Then you opened your mouth again, stuck out your tongue, showing him the result and looking up with a teary and adoring gaze. His hand cupped your cheek and he stroked it with his thumb. 

“Thank you, Joel,” you said quietly and he gave you a soft smile. He helped you up and held you close against him, rubbing your body and warming it up. 

“Thought you were gonna use the safe word this time. I got carried away,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m a tough girl,” you whispered, tilting your head up to look at him. He kissed you, gently and lovingly, as your body and soul found comfort in his embrace.

*********

@iamasaddie @multiversed-daydreamer

[geeks-universe]

The Fallen pt. 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Cooper Howard x F!Angel!Reader

A/N: Some light spice, no full on smut yet. This is in fact a Lucifer (TV) crossover. The beginning italics is a flashback.

Cooper Howard had perfected his aim in the many, many years of life spent in the hellish landscape that now inhabited Earth, so when he missed, it was purposeful.

“It ain’t good form, sneakin’ up on a restin’ man.”

His words were crisp, articulated, and honestly the intruder was just lucky he happened to be in a decent mood. It would’ve been easier to kill them.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were here.”

The replying voice was a stark contrast to the harshness of the life he lived. It didn’t belong, sounded far too gentle, and it aroused enough curiosity for him to tip his hat back.

Not a damn thing in the whole of the Wasteland could’ve prepared him for the sight he was met with.

Pretty, that was his first thought.

Too pretty.

Ungodly so, actually. Your eyes seemed to shine so bright in contrast to the dingy lantern that barely provided enough light to see his own hands. The slope of your nose, the cut of your cheeks, the shape of your lips- too pretty.

Not to mention the tight jumpsuit you wore, the zipper tugged down low enough on your chest to show off a healthy amount of cleavage. His fingers twitched as his eyes traced a path down your body- slow, appreciative. It’d been a damn long time since something as simple as a look could get him this worked up.

You had one visible weapon, a knife tucked into the belt of your jumpsuit, pressed into your very alluring thigh. He wondered briefly what it would feel like under his hand, wrapped tight around his waist.

“I suggest you get on your way ‘fore the next one ends up in your skull.”

It was a threat, one he emphasized with the click of his gun’s hammer.

You seemed unbothered, almost bored.

Fuck, didn’t that just annoy the piss out of him? You stumbled into his space- that he commandeered with his hard earned bullets, thank you very much- looking like fucking Aphrodite, with an expression that could, at best, be considered unconcerned.

Last he checked he was still pretty goddamn terrifying.

“Understood,” you held your hands up, and damn it all if he could ignore the pain in your gaze.

He hesitated.

It was a fraction of a fraction of a second, where he almost slipped back into Cooper Howard: the man who cared, imperceptible to most, but the small upturn of your lips told him you saw it.

He glared, holding his gun higher. You didn’t say another word, just held your hands up and walked away, but not before you met his gaze one more time.

He wished he knew what you were thinking when you muttered a soft, “thanks,” before you disappeared from the rickety building. The image haunted him for weeks, of you with your sad eyes, your face untouched by the ugliness of the world, breathing out your gratitude.

He swore he’d shoot you on sight if he ever saw you again, if only because that one encounter lingered in his mind for far too long after.

“Think they’re fuckin’?”

You startled, whipping your head up to face Cooper so quickly he was sure that it hurt. The heat that flushed your cheeks was unexpected.

“Sorry, just didn’t think you’d be so blunt.” You cleared your throat, running a hand through your hair. “Maybe, they certainly seemed interested enough in one another to… engage.”

Coop barked a laugh, low and deep.

“Engage, huh?” You narrowed your eyes at him, resting your arms on your knees. “That’s a real innocent term for a bonafide tease like yourself.”

“Tease?” You echoed, almost offended.

The red from your cheeks burned a path down your neck, to the top of your breasts, where it disappeared beneath the fabric of your jumpsuit- a path Cooper was all too eager to trace with his eyes.

He hummed an affirmative, spreading his legs out in front of him. His back was leaned against the pole of an old billboard, giving him a nice resting spot from the traveling you’d been doing.

A few days ago, your little trio ran into the same knight Cooper had gotten into a shootout with back in Filly. He’d wanted to shoot the man and be done with it, but Lucy had argued that he could help.

After much deliberation, and more than a few pleads of your own, Cooper agreed to let him live. For now.

“A tumble in the ol’ hay gettin’ you nice and shy, huh?”

You groaned, forcing your eyes down to the sand beneath your legs. He waited eagerly for your explanation.

“My dad was, uh, strict,” you supplied lamely, embarrassment burning a pyre in your stomach.

You would surely never hear the end of this.

“Darlin’, are you suggesting you’re a-“

“No,” you were quick to respond, beating back against the shame that you felt.

You’d never understand how Lucifer could be so free in his decisions, not bothering to feel any guilt over the many decidedly “un-angel-like” behaviors he had. His time on Earth with you was short, beckoned back to his prison before you could even spend a decade together, but he’d not been idle in that time.

“I’ve… engaged before.”

Cooper’s lips drew into a slow smirk, the brim of his hat hiding the way his eyes were drinking in your expression. He’d memorized the way you look time and time again- when you were happy, or sad, angry, annoyed.

Embarrassed, however, was a new one.

“And now?”

The indignation that flared in your gaze rivaled the red of your cheeks, a thrill running down Coop’s spine as you pulled yourself to your feet and stalked towards him.

“And now,” you whispered, voice barely audible above the crunch of sand beneath your boot.

As you approached, he raised his head, drawn to your stare. The breath he released was strained with anticipation.

“I think you know what I want, Coop.”

It was graceful, the way you dropped yourself to your knees and straddled him. His cock twitched at the look you fixed him with, filled with far more desire than he could ever hope to understand. A fire was burning in the air between you, begging him to close the distance and feel you.

His fingers ghosted up the side of your thighs, hovering just above your ass. He’d hoped for this moment- dreamed of it, even- but never did he expect the universe would be kind enough to deliver you to him, ready and willing.

“And what is that, darlin’?” His tone dropped low, barely a murmur from his lips in fear of ruining the moment. “Don’t be afraid to use your words.”

Your mouth was so close to his, warm breath fanning over his face. He was torn between wanting to pull you into him, and letting you take your sweet time with him. The vaultie and the knight would probably be gone for a bit longer, in search of medicine to help with his shot arm.

“Mmm,” that sweet, lilting voice was so close he could feel it, inching closer to his body.

It was overwhelming, the sensation of your thighs over his, your front grinding so gently down the hardening curve of his cock. It was heaven and hell at the same time, too much and not nearly enough. A groan might’ve tore itself from his throat, it was hard to tell over the sound of his blood rushing south, heart pumping double time to match the throbbing of his cock.

Every bit of his restraint was focused on letting you initiate, his hands flexing in the air, waiting for positive indication that he could have his wicked way with you. He could practically taste the sweet nectar between your legs, drooling at the prospect. If you tasted half as good as you looked, he’d never wish for apple pie again.

You, his tormenting angel, with wide eyes and full lips that he couldn’t seem to stay away from. You, who he once believed was a figment of his own imagination, if only because he couldn’t fathom such a delicacy still existing in this world.

“The hat.”

Your words were released on a breathy sigh, hands tracing up the textured skin of his neck, before you quickly grabbed hold of his beloved hat, delicately placing it on your own head.

The triumph in your expression didn’t last, as Cooper had no intention of this being just another game. Faster than you thought possible, and with far more force than you were used to, Coop had hooked his arms around the back of your thighs, caging you against him so you couldn’t back away as you had planned.

“This is a dangerous game you’re playin’.”

You pressed further into him, tipping his hat back with a smirk. His hips pushed up, aching for contact that you purposefully held from him.

“If I’m taking a ride, might as well play the part.”

His retort was hot on his tongue, only to be immediately swallowed by your mouth. Your lips crashed into his, rough in their ministrations. Years of dreaming about the taste of you didn’t do it any justice.

Your tongue explored his mouth with a ravenous hunger, hips moving in time with each stroke of your lips.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He was sure that all there was left to taste on the Earth was bitter and bland. You, however, were sweeter than he could’ve ever imagined. You tasted of vanilla, somehow, and the first crisp wind after a hot summer, and like the Earth before the war, the good things that had been destroyed and gone forever.

Holy hell, you tasted like life.

Like a deep laugh that came straight from the soul- he moaned when you tightened your grip on the fabric of his shirt, chasing every inch he’d give you- and the man Cooper Howard used to be.

His hands were eager in their exploration, mapping out a path from your thighs, to your ass, up the curve of your spine.

Fucking hell.

Every inch of you was divine, perfect in a way Cooper couldn’t even begin to understand. He wanted more. He needed more. Needed it more than he needed those damn drugs, more than he needed anything, really.

He went straight from the junction of your neck the second you broke from the kiss, mouth watering at the very thought of pressing his teeth to your sweet, soft skin.

“Cooper,” it was a whimper, a plea, and a moan all in one, and damn did his ears ring at the sound.

It went straight to his cock, making him press his hips up into yours, desperately trying to bury his length in you despite the many layers of clothing.

Your head fell back, exposing your neck even more to him, and causing his hat to tumble somewhere by his legs. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered outside of the feel of you.

His hands slid higher, on a path to your shoulders, only to stop at the sudden intake of air from you. It sounded pained, and he was dazed when you pulled away from him with a speed he’d not seen before.

One second you were hot, willing, and moaning his name, and the next you were standing over him, your eyes haunted.

“Darlin’, what-“

He saw it then, the sticky, warm red on his hands, unmistakably blood. A baser instinct wanted to lick his gloves clean of it, taste an even deeper part of you, but the human in him won out, if only for a moment.

“You didn’t think to let anyone know you’re hurtin’.”

The anger in his tone is only trumped by the worry in his eyes. Somehow, you’d wriggled your way into his nearly fucking nonexistent heart, and it seemed that you had the self-preservation of a damn baby sea turtle.

“It’s an old wound.”

The way you held your arms to your chest, almost like you were hugging yourself, told Cooper enough. It was a wound that cut deep, not because it hurt, but because of how it got there in the first place.

“Lemme see,” he said sternly, picking up his hat off the ground with a scowl.

“Today, sweetheart,” he muttered when you made no move to do so.

There was a vulnerability in your gaze, a cut so deep he knew you’d never fully heal from it. He wished he didn’t want to know, wished he didn’t care to learn what made those bright eyes dim.

You unzipped the front of your jumpsuit slowly, tantalizingly, almost like the teasing was a part of your armor- and maybe it was. Maybe it was how you convinced yourself you didn’t care as much, or how you rebelled against the father you obviously still struggled with.

You turned your back to him, baring the marred flesh without another look in his direction. Obviously, Cooper had seen many, many scars in his time. Hell, he was scarred from head to toe, flesh marked with the passage of time and the heat of radiation.

This was a little different.

You tensed as he reached a hand out. Two large gashes ran down the length of your shoulder blades, the flesh pink and raw. Scratches, deep and angry, cut between them, some bleeding and others healed. Curiously, the tips of his gloved fingers pressed to the two big scars.

In a flash you were turned around, your hands wrapped around his wrist.

“Don’t.”

A command. A plea. A whisper.

“Who did it?”

His words were hard, a rage so deep and endless rose in his chest, feeling more feral than he had his whole life. That wasn’t the scar of someone who survived an attempt on their life.

That was the scar of someone who intended to cause pain.

“Was it your daddy?”

From the very small amount of information you’d given him, he tried to piece together exactly what happened between the two of you. He didn’t know the specifics, but he did know that he’d hurt you in some unforgivable way.

Your silence was an answer in itself.

Leather creaked as he balled his hands into fists, grinding his teeth together. Cooper Howard was a monster, self-made and self-proclaimed, but he didn’t let anyone harm what was his.

And make no mistake, you were his. That kiss did just about everything to solidify it in his mind.

“If he weren’t dead already I’d hunt him down and string him up.”

It was a promise, and he wished he could bring that bastard back from the grave to punish him for putting those marks on your back and that look in your eye.

“Coop,” you approached him cautiously, returning your jumpsuit to its proper position. “He’s not dead.”

That certainly was a surprise.

And an opportunity.

“It’s more complicated than that,” you huff, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. The clench on your jaw was noticeable.

“Let’s find the fucker, then.”

A long, tired sigh parted your lips. There were clearly parts of the story he was missing, and it seemed those parts painted a picture he didn’t understand.

“Let’s focus on Lucy and her dad.”

He let the silence simmer, wondering just how much he should tell you of his past. A bit of irritation flared at the idea of revealing anything. It was better to let the past die, like you said.

He grunted his agreement, not bothering to explain it to you. Maybe you’d try to stop him, or maybe you’d help him. It didn’t matter either way. You were already far closer to him than he wanted, he couldn’t risk any more of a bond forming.

“They’ll be back.”

His words were noncommittal. It was likely the vault dweller and her puppy-dog of a knight were probably alive, but he couldn’t really care less, especially when the girl's own naivety got them into this mess.

“Her heart was in the right place.”

You could see it on his face, read the expression etched in his battered skin like nobody else could.

“The right place for dyin’, maybe.” He clicked his tongue. “But I ain’t got that sorta wish right now.”

“They didn’t have to shoot,” you muttered, not nearly as worked up as you’d been earlier.

Anger isn’t an expression you wear often, so he was a little surprised when you’d been so upset with the fiends. Lucy had the bright idea of making it around them without violence, a plan that was doomed from the start.

Cooper voiced his opinion, and so did Maximus, but your encouraging little smile to Lucy made him follow with a scowl. The second they’d drawn their weapons, Coop had already shoved you behind him and dropped one of them. The knight wasn’t nearly as quick with the draw, and got a tooth bullet lodged in his arm for the effort.

He and Lucy had departed about a day ago, claiming they’d be back soon with a fully patched up knight. If it were just him, he would’ve tied them both up and dragged their asses to the head.

Better yet, just killed them both.

But you wouldn’t let him.

You’d always erred on the side of good, a little too soft for the world around you. He’d seen you mean, seen you stand your ground, but you helped far more than you’d hurt. The vault dweller seemed to only be intensifying it, making you believe in a pipe dream that was sure to get you a one way ticket to eternity.

“I’m going to check-“

“(Y/N)!”

Lucy’s voice cracked through the Wasteland like shattering glass. Whereas his annoyance at the sudden arrival of his unwanted companions reflected on his face, you managed a small smile.

“I was beginning to think you’d left us.”

It was a joke. Whatever bond had formed between you and Lucy had clearly earned you some amount of loyalty, and even if she would’ve ditched Cooper any chance she got, she definitely wouldn’t have left you. And if she refused to, it was no surprise Maximus also did.

“I take it you’re feeling better?” Your gaze fell where the bullet had struck, and there was a curious look in your eyes. You’d mentioned before that you used to be good with fixing people up, so he had a feeling you were reminiscing on another tidbit of life he wasn’t privy to.

“Ain’t no reason to gawk here like a bunch of sittin’ ducks,” Coop stalked passed the three of you, not interested in the camaraderie.

“Right,” Lucy cleared her throat, “Glad to see nothing’s changed.”

“Just ‘cause you took lover boy here for a little ride on company property ain’t mean the rest of the world changed.”

Your sudden intake of breath definitely didn’t go unnoticed. It seemed that despite the previous interruption, you were enjoying rubbing yourself up on Coop as much as he was.

“Sex,” Lucy clarified to Maximus at the man’s confused expression.

“Watch out,” Cooper warned the other man with a sarcastic smile on his lips. “Them Vauties are just breeding factories, might end up with a little unexpected squire.”

“Cooper,” you chided, catching up to walk beside him.

Sometimes, being bitter about children in general helped him cope with the loss of his own.

“It is our privilege to one day repopulate the Earth,” Lucy confirmed, shrugging. “Women just have the responsibility of choosing the right partner.”

“I’m not sure-“ Maximus tried to speak, only to be interrupted by Cooper.

“Unsurprising.”

“(Y/N)?”

It was a low blow, Lucy asking for your opinion, knowing that even if he didn’t say it in so many words, it was obvious the ghoul valued it far more than any others. You raised a brow, shrugging.

“I haven’t really thought of it.”

“Of having kids?” Lucy pushed.

This was quickly entering uncomfortable territory, and Lucy didn’t really know where the boundary was.

“Of any sort of future, honestly.”

She took your answer in stride, though. Allowing the topic to drop off into silence. It didn’t stay that way for very long, idle chatter amongst you, Maximus, and Lucy. Cooper would very rarely comment, but he preferred to stay focused on his surroundings.

Day bled to night, which bled to day again. Time was beginning to slip past as you neared the location of the head, frustration growing in Cooper. Any opportunity he had to speak with you in private was interrupted, the traveling party growing too large for his liking.

Perhaps, after this whole ordeal, it’ll be just you and him.

Perhaps he liked the sound of that a little too much.

[slut4sugu]

— MY ‘LIL STAR

Spider punk x rockstar!Black Fem reader

Including: British slang (ill do my best!), slight cursing, flirty hobie, pet names: (pretty, star, doll,dolly), slight suggestiveness

Summary:You were preforming one day, and happened to catch the attention of wandering eyes. Hobies eyes </3

🎸: 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐭. 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐃𝐞𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐲

You’ve hung out with a lot of weird ‘blokes’ as Hobie would say but, he’s one to talk since he’s one of the weirdest (HOTTESTTT ASF) though you think his look on the world is quite interesting, and confusing at the same time. But nevertheless you find yourself feeling as though you could tell him anything, which is how he feels about you. Which surprised himself because for the longest time he tried to find out what is was about you that made him wanna stare at your face talking about different guitars you used to play as a kid for hours on end. Then it clicked, your love and appreciation for music. When you first told him that you were in a band he already knew. He saw a villain lurking around the venue you had apparently rented out and got distracted by your voice that he almost forgot about the building wrecking villain. Who he quickly dealt with since he wanted to hear your angelic voice, ( it was all he could think about during the fight).

He stayed a bit after the show to see how you spoke with your fans, and..no surprise you were an absolute sweetheart. You spotted him in a dark corner and got slightly excited to see the spider at one of your shows, after you said your goodbyes you quickly made your way over to him as to not get spotted by any more fans. “Soo how was I? I’m hoping it was somewhat good since thats atleast 4 minutes that you could’ve been using to save someone.” Your heart fluttered at his chuckle, “It was good, I like your style dolly. ‘Suits you.” You smiled, trying to distract yourself from how weirdly attractive it was to see the spider leaning up against a corner of a wall. “Thanks, and thanks for coming out. Hope I’ll get to see you at my next show, but make sure you don’t get distracted while getting rid of a villain or whatever the hell those things are.” He hums at your comment, his eyes locked on your pretty ones. Hobies spider sense starts to tingle slightly, “Sum blokes looking for you-Widow?” Your heart flutters at the way he says your stage name, “Oh yeah, thats just my preforming name. It’s actually y/n.” You say sweetly, your black acrylics fiddling with the chain on your shorts. “Widow get your ass in here!” You roll your eyes, quickly pulling out a pen that was tucked between your waist and the clothing of your jean shorts. You gestured for his forearm, and wrote your number on it. ‘Pretty n a singer damn.’ Hobie took note of the cute heart you left behind the series of numbers.

This was your fit btw

You capped the pen, looking behind you to see your manger still looking. You groaned, “Fuckin pest.” You muttered beneath your breath, earning a snicker from the spider. You turned back to him, with a sigh but a smile. “Call me okay? Wanna let you know when I have another show.” You stated, giving him a wink and a wave before you left to deal with your annoying manager. After that day, you would try and find the spider around town. Which hardly ever worked, but you were equally busy with practice and vocal training. Though you had to admit you did miss the spiders company and you were hoping to see him to give him backstage passes to your show.

Late one night on the balcony of your penthouse, you laid on your plush couch playing your electric guitar. Bored and thinking of Hobie you started to play a tune absent minded, not sensing that he was behind you listening and watching your pretty fingers work the instrument. “Aren’t you just full of surprises.” You jumped, turning around to see the masked spider. “Jesus dude, your gonna give a bitch a heart attack.” You almost dropped your guitar because of his sudden presence. “Sorry doll, was just swinging by the see how the lil star was.” He explained, walking around and sitting down in the chair in front of you. Leaving his own guitar leaned up against it. You noticed this and looked at him curiously, “You play too?” He hummed in response, before manspreading in the chair. You smiled softly, looking over his figure before seeing a cut stretch across his forearm. “My god are you okay?” You asked, getting up and going around your small glass table to get a better look at his wound. “Don’t worry doc I’m fine.” You gave him a look, “Yeah no, I’m fine my ass. Stay here don’t move I’ll be right back.” You rush inside to get your med kit, not feeling hobies eyes wander down to your ass and hips as you left.

Once you returned, you had a med kit clutched in your hand. You set it down on the glass table, opening the case you pulled out some peroxide and bandages. “This might hurt a little, sorry if it does.” You say softly, looking at the eyes of the mask as if asking if he’s okay. “I’m fine pretty, go ahead do your thing.” That same flutter you felt the first time you met him you felt again, your actions becoming more hesitant and nervous as it felt as though he was watching intently. You tried to ignore it as you doused a big cotton ball with peroxide, slowly dabbing it on his wound. Causing him to hiss, letting out a groan, “Fuck..that some strong stuff you got dolly.” Your heart stopped as you tried to ignore how hot it was to hear him curse, throwing the now used cotton ball in the trash can and wrapping his wound up and sealing it. “That looks a lot better, sorry if it hurt too bad.” He shook his head, “Nah it wasn’t that bad, could use a kiss though.” You rolled your eyes shoved his shoulder. “You would like that wouldn’t you?” You giggled, as you turned around walking away to put the stuff back up. Your hips swaying, which slowly started to make Hobie loose his mind a little. “What you wouldn’t star?” He asked, sounding closer than usual, which made sense as he was right behind you.

“Haven’t thought of kissing me once? Hm?”

Part two?

[madisonthetimewalker]

You know what fuck it take modern AU Adamai headcanons

1. Adamai works in retail do not ask why he just does.

2. He has clip on ear rings he got his ears pierced once and he regretted it because of the pain

3. He doesn’t like to express himself very much mostly keeping to himself and not talking about his problems.

4. He likes to read and I mean he LOVES reading, if you’re lucky you can catch him on break reading a comic book.

5. He knows how to skateboard (yugo does not and he laughs at this)

6. He mostly stays in his room only coming out for food or unless he wants to be outside for a bit. Other than that he doesn’t really leave his room.

7. He’s very smart about specific dragon cultures, every so often you can catch him in the library reading about dragon myths and possibly ancient food recipes.

8. Surprising he’s very quiet, sure at a young age he was bubbling with joy but now he’s more quiet and sometimes shy.

9. He doesn’t really like big gatherings it was never his thing. If he didn’t know anybody there then he would sit in a corner and mind his own business. (This man has horrible social anxiety)

10. His taste in fashion is decent most of the time he just wears baggy jeans and a shirt, he isn’t much for looking nice.

11. I like to see him as this huge nerd, for example if you ask him about a specific event involving ancient dragonic history. He will talk for hours explaining every detail and every bit of lore (look at my nerdy boy)

12. He doesn’t have many friends at work or at all for that matter, he just works although yes people have tried to talk to him in the past he rarely interacts with them.

13. He loves listening to drama, he loves to listen in on interesting conversations it’s like a hobby at this point.

14. Adamai isn’t much of a people person (as I have said multiple times in this post) and if your lucky enough he might talk to you about specific issues and topics, although he has this bad habit of dozing off during conversations. (Just like me fr)

15. He’s a heavy daydreamer, often times you can see him standing in the middle of nowhere dozing off we don’t know how he does this or how he gets himself in these situations but god is it funny.

16. He gets embarrassed easily when told he did a good job on something, Adamai rarely if ever gets compliments so telling him he’s the best guy in the world it makes him hide his face due to how red it gets.

17. He gets scared easily but not like “omg everything scares him!” More like if you come up behind him without him hearing you he will scream like a banshee.

18. He can run and I don’t mean “oh he’s just fast” HE’S PRETTY FUCKING FAST, if this man so much as sees a big ass spider he’s fuckin GONE

19. I like to believe Adamai has a huge sweet tooth. He loves to eat sweets whenever he gets the opportunity

20. He hates night shift and I mean HATES IT if he so much as hears one creek from the ceiling his ass is already out the door.

21. He has humor trust me it’s there, he isn’t one to make jokes but when he does none laughs sadly mostly because they don’t get it and Adamai has the humor of a broken down 1950’s truck. (Don’t worry Adamai I’ll laugh at your ridiculously stupid jokes)

22. He rarely sleeps (unlike qilby who’s sleep schedule is so bad that it could rival that of Xelor himself) but when he does he’s knocked out for Atleast 2 days. Adamai honey please take care of yourself I’m begging you.

23. He listens to music a lot it’s mostly to block out the annoying noise of people talking and baby’s crying for no reason

24. He can babysit (if you pay him enough) he hates it but he does it for people who need a break.

25. He gets bored easily, sometimes you can find him in the skatepark minding his own business.

Ok that’s all for now can you tell he’s my fav? And can you tell how much I love modern AU’s?

[lycankeyy]

Okay here's the whole thing I filled out with boyf in-character enjoy his one total braincell if he's lucky. I'm putting zero effort into formatting this bc tumblr is glitchy on my phone blank template is here

(cw: sexual humor. also a bunch of intentional typos and gratuitous swearing)

-

1. Okay, first question: what’s your name, age, and gender?

- they call me boyfriend im 19 and i sap the gender out of the music

2. How would you describe yourself, personality-wise?

- fuckkk man idk. im p chill i think ig im pretty cool. pretty swag pretty gamer

3. What’s a typical day like for you?

- welll I wake up at like. 11 usually at earliest and I hang out w one of my partners sometimes I watch movies w em or work on music. not a lot going on usually

4. How do you wind down at the end of the day? Do you even wind down?

- most of the time i literally just wait until i crash out sometimes gf and peeks gotta drag me to bed lol

5. What is your earliest memory?

- UHHHHH oh god uhhh. I think. When I was like five we went to a festival or smth and we went on one of those twirly things and I made my dad spin the thing so hard I threw up LMAO

6. What is/was your relationship with your parents?

- i mean p good i think but we dont rly tlak anymore thats mostly my fault tho

7. What do you do when you’re bored?

- succumb to the madness mostly

8. Do you regret anything you’ve done?

- i mean not like currently

9. Do you dress to be functional or fashionable?

- bro i wear the same exact fucking outfit every day to be honest with you lol. It's not like I'm fuckin going anywhere

10. Who are your best friends? How did you meet them?

- DUUUDE assuming my partners don't count gotta shout out my man darnell we've been workin on a collab ep recently it goes hard as fuckkkkk. we met back in the stupid therapy program back in middle school he introduced me to pico n nene

11. Have any siblings? If so, what is your relationship?

- yea got a big sister and a lil bro. they're both sweet but kinda clueless tbh. technically got other stuff goin on too but im kinda worried that ill get like the government on my ass if i talk abt it

12. What is your job? Is it tiring or difficult?

- closest thinf ive got to a job is music ig and nah. really wouldn't rather be doing anything else even if it payed more tbh. when I get burnt out I wanna die but thafs not a big deal lmao

13. When you’re going through a rough time, do you seek help or consolation from others?

- on a scale of liek paper cut to nearly died how rough are we talking

14. How easy is it for others to gain your trust?

- ive been told im pretty trusting but i feel like any person whos meant to hurt me was pretty upfront abt it so ┐(´∀｀)┌

15. What is your sexuality, if you don’t mind me asking?

- all the time all the time

16. Do you have a significant other? What are they like?

- "a" singular. lol. lmao even. bros asking if I got one singular partner lmao try two bitch and thyere the best most important people in the world

17. Have you ever lost a loved one?

- not like perminently

18. How often do you act on impulse? Does it ever backfire?

- lsiten if i do it all the time then like statisicly it only backfires like 40% of the time okay

19. Do you believe in ghosts?

- I believe in everyone bro

20. How about aliens?

- aliens are hisyorically very mean to me but ig i can just then believe that they can be better people. or aliens

21. What traits do you value the most in others?

- uhhh probably like being just nice ig? idk i think it can take a lot more effort than people think to be considerate and stuff I appreciate when people are nice even if they have a reason not to be

22. Do you dream often? What are your dreams like?

- i used to not to but somethings happened and now I get them all the time. don't really want to talk about it they're mostly just weird

23. Are you a light or heavy sleeper? Do you sleep in?

- my partners say im such a heavy sleeper that one time i slept through gf falling off the bed in the middle of the night but I was asleep so I can't cofnirm

24. Okay, this is a bit personal, but… Have you ever (uh) “done the do”?

- dude like u wouldn't believe

25. Do you have any pets?

- nah but I think it would be cool to have a guinea pig they seem chill and I appreciate their vibes

26. Ever been drunk before? How often do you drink?

- i try not to toooooooo much but i think i have a hard time telling when too much is too much. dont tell my parents

27. Are you respectful to authority figures?

- they only have as much authority as you give them. manipulate a landlord today

28. What kinds of movies do you like you watch?

- https://youtu.be/HgjyQ0_coJo?si=L5Bzhey5cxaoNpWU

29. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

- ██████ █████ █ ███████ ████ ███ ████ ███████ ███ ████ ████████████ ██ ███ ███ ████ ██ one time nene found it in my dresser and I almost DIED wait was this question not about sex stuff

30. What would you say is the happiest memory of your life?

- ohh thats hard uhh. happiest is hard to qualify i think. I think I'm happiest whenever I think abt waking up next to my partners

31. How about your worst memory?

- thats a good question

32. What did you aspire to be when you were young? Did that dream change as you grew up?

- i didn't think I'd be fuckign anythang

33. How far would you be willing to go to get what you want?

- u gotta quantify what I want here tbh. is it like a chocolate bar or one billion dollars. cuz id kill someone for a billion dollars. honestly i might also kill someone for a chocolate bar but like not as badly

34. What is sure to ruin your day?

- idk nearly dying again probably

35. Do you have any nervous habits?

- uhhh sometimes i mess with my hair and when i get rly upset i pull at it til it hurts. i used to scratch my face a lot when i was upset too but it freaks ppl out so i try not to if i can help it

36. Play video games often?

- i tryyyyy but i get distracted so fast i play a game and im like oh shit this reminds me of another thing i was gonna play n then i go play that and then I never FINISH ANYTHIGN

37. What kind of things do you laugh at?

- https://youtu.be/47EOSLWu-EI?si=kuzPv2Vndl91Oj3C

38. Favorite genre of music?

- BROOOO ok gonna be basic as shit and say breakcore. also a huge fan of speedcore and drill & bass but breakcore is my home. i wishhh it wasn't called this but my favorite like subgenre of breakcore is probs lolicore not for any fuckin weird reason but just bc the way the vocals are usually mixed scratches my brain sooooooo fuking good. listen to various types of ads by loli in early 20s and youll get it. i fucking love experimental breakcore my favorite album rossz csillag alatt született mixes breakcore+dr&b w classical and it's sooooo fucking good it's SO good i need to learn more fuckin instrument plug ins so I can make shit like that. in general i just love music that feels like it's fuckin drilling it's way into youre brain and rewiring it i want the music to fuckin labotomize me fr

39. What do you think your spirit animal would be if you had one?

- idk maybe a rat i like rats. dude imagine if i was a rat like ritz we could have cheese together. we can do that anyway but it would be more awesome

40. Have an accent of any kind?

- yea autism

41. Chess or checkers?

- checkers i have no idea how to play chess but it sounds convoluted as fuk

42. Do you feel sentimentality toward a particular object?

- i love my laptop even if I get a new computer and this thing breaks completely im keeping this laptop ily laptop

43. Are you generally pretty secretive, or are you an open book?

- im like accidentally secretive i dont even try like wtf do you mean im supposed to talk about shit

44. What are you most embarrassed about?

- i feel like this was addressed in the nene thing

45. What are your deepest fears?

- have you ever seen that fuckin brony stuff where people get teleported to pony world as horses gf is obsessed with that kinda thing but that's TERRIFYING if i woke up as a horse id fuckin die of a heart attack

46. How desperate would you have to be to lie to, steal from, injure, or murder another person? Do you do any of those things regularly?

- i like the implication that i would admit to murdering ppl on a regular basis

47. Do you have any scars? How did you get them?

- it's so fucked up i got this scar on my face and it's so bad bc I don't even scar that easy like i get into fights my entire life but i only got one scar just bc some weeb tried to kill me. like ok

48. Say someone has mistreated you in some form. Would you immediately lose your temper, hold a grudge, or simply let it go?

- you wouldnt believe my epic power to do all of those simaltaneusly

49. How do you deal with physical and mental pain?

- max volume noise nothing can hurt me if the Loud

50. What is your ideal place to live?

- never thought abt it tbh ig anywhere with my partners

51. What was your childhood like?

- just 18 years of stupid therapy programs and stupid special ed classes and ppl telling me how to think and how to act and like I was 4 years old forever i don't careeee

52. What is your favorite kind of weather?

- i think snow is pretty

53. How important to you is friendship? What about romance?

- i think they're both pretty great but idk i feel like urself should be most important bc idk shit happens and ppl leave so if you dont like yourself youre just gonna be stuck with some miserable loser who doesnt have any friends as ur only company

54. Have any disabilities, weaknesses, or allergies?

- i feel like in a hypothetical situation i would be pretty weak to godzilla

55. What’s your favorite thing to eat?

- SPICY FOOOOOOOD my spice tolerance fucks hard i will drink hot sauce. right now holdbon

56. Do you have kids? If not, do you picture yourself ever having them?

- could you fucking imagine.

57. How well can you sing?

- idk but i like it

58. Are you particularly confident? Does your confidence level change if less people are around?

- if nobody got me i know i got me

59. Do you like shopping?

- delivery apps were invented for a reason

60. How do you interact with strangers?

- tbh i usually just tune out anyone that's not talking to me LMAO

61. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you loved?

- not like perminently

62. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

- don't like this question

63. If you could meet anyone from the past or future, who would it be?

- fuckkkkk my gf isn't home rn can I pick her

64. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?

- money bigass house and then I wouldn't use the last one so we could just vibe forver

65. Do you like attention?

- ask pico

66. Are you glad I’ve run out of questions to ask?

- ig bc im puttin off chores ily though

[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[melodygatesauthor]

Arachnophilia

Were-Spider Peter B Parker x f!Reader

Blurb 4 for Kinktober 2024 - Request by Anonymous - Not Edited

NSFW below the cut - Spider-like qualities mentioned. Peter is a little OOC and primal - Reader is not race coded

Words: 997

Peter B. Parker from your universe was great. There was no denying that the pizza-loving, dad bod wielding, spider-person had charm, and you liked him. There were only two problems:

He was married to Mary Jane, and they were very much in love. The other problem was…he was boring…at least in comparison to the Peter you had your eyes on.

You didn’t even know which universe the Were-Spider Peter was from, but you liked the way he looked. He had a rugged demeanor, a bit darker with a hint of danger. There was something feral about him, and that excited you to no end. You supposed that was in part due to the way he became Spider-Man in the first place.

Not unlike the Spider Society’s fearless leader, Miguel O’Hara, his DNA was fused with a spider. Part man, part spider, and it manifested in sharp fangs, eight legs he could extend or retract at will, and an insatiable sex drive that could only be described as purely feral in nature.

You needed him the way you needed air to fucking breathe, and you let him know that as much as possible. You changed your spider suit to be a bit more form fitting, accentuating your tits and ass nicely. Even Miguel eyed you once or twice, which let you know it would surely work on feral Peter.

It was so late, and you were in your office, tired after a long day. You weren’t on the front lines as much as some of the other spider-folk. As someone with subpar abilities and a knack for getting caught up in dangerous situations, you handled a lot of Miguel’s paperwork, and as a perk, you got a nice little office, away from the hustle and bustle that came with working at the Spider Society.

You were just about to leave, opening the door to exit your office, when Peter met you in the threshold. You gasped, dropping your keys on the floor.

“P-Peter, I–”

He cut you off, taking you off guard as he stepped forward, forcing you back into the room. You gulped as your entire body came alive with a combination of excitement and fear. You took another step back and you tripped, landing on the floor.

“You’re such a fuckin’ tease,” he grumbled, climbing over you. “I see how you’re showing off your slutty little body just for me,” he breathed, extending his legs from his back.

His spider legs caged you against the floor, and his teeth were dripping with spit as he looked down at you. You felt a chill run through your spine, rendering you motionless and silent, save for the heavy breaths punching out of your lungs.

He pinned your arms down above your head using his webbing, doing the same around your neck. Even if you wanted to run, you wouldn’t be able to, but this was your greatest fantasy coming to fruition. Your lips parted, eyes half lidded with arousal as he toyed with you like a predator would its prey. Peter’s hands moved to your skirt, shoving it up around your hips

“Peter, p-please don’t hurt me,” you asked shakily, the combination of terror and excitement was driving you mad.

He licked your jaw and kissed the space just below your earlobe, a throaty growl erupting from deep inside of him.

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” he rasped, groaning as he kissed along your skin. “Wouldn’t hurt such a fun little thing.”

You panted, the feeling of his lips against your neck shot straight to your core, forcing your cunt to throb with need.

“Please,” you begged, this time desperate to have him buried as deep inside of you as he could be.

He obliged without another word, using the leverage his extra legs afforded him to thrust into you roughly, full to the hilt in one pass. You arched against him, mouth falling open and your eyes fluttering. He pulled back, grunting as he thrust forward again harshly, the fat head of his cock hitting the deepest parts of you.

“Peter–oh-fuck-fuck!” you cried out with every snap of his hips.

“You’re so tight,” he groaned against your ear. “Gotta stretch you out,” he leaned back, looking down where your bodies were connected and huffed.

“T-tear me apart!” you demanded, not caring if he obliged literally or figuratively.

With both hands, he held onto your waist and moved at a bruising pace, filling the office with the lewd sounds of skin on skin. You wanted to wipe the drool that threatened to fall down your cheek, but remembered your hands were pinned above your head. You were completely at Peter’s mercy.

Peter started fucking you like you were nothing more than a vessel for his pleasure. You curled your toes in anticipation as searing heat pooled in your core. Your mouth gaped open, unable to form a coherent sentence anymore. Your mind went blank, and all you could hear was the sound of Peter’s feral growls hitting your ears.

“Gonna make you carry my spiderlings, would you like that?” He asked between thrusts.

It sounded like a joke, surely he couldn’t mean it.

You gulped, “yes,” you blurted, “yes I’ll carry your–oh fuck Peter–I’ll carry your kids. Fuck!”

On the tail end of your words you exploded, eyes rolling back as your cunt throbbed and gushed around his thick cock. He fucked you through it, not stopping for a second, slamming harder and faster until finally his body stilled, a liquid warmth spilling inside of your hot, wet pussy.

The room was suddenly very quiet, filled only with the sound of your sharp, combined breaths. With his teeth, Peter removed the webbing on your neck and then on your hands, and he retracted his legs back into his body. He looked down at you with a gaze filled with longing.

“I like you,” he whispered, brushing his canonically busted nose against yours.

You chuckled, “I like you too, Peter.”

Back to Kinktober Masterlist

[reginageorgesgirlfriend3020]

Sidney Prescott adores you! (Part 4)

She loves when you sing in the shower

She always says you have a good singing voice and

Sidney thinks it's cute when you always say you dont but

She knows you do!

She always thinks about you

She always texts you saying 'Hi baby! What are you up to? Just bored at work thinking about you!!'

And it always makes you smile

Like a lot

Sidney is so romantic

She knows you love flowers especially tulips and daisies

So every few weeks she gives you flowers

Buys you your favorite chocolate for you to eat

And gives you a teddy bear too to cuddle with

When Sydney has to work overtime Sidney's scent is everywhere

So you'll always feel like shes there with you

In the middle of the night when Sidney is thirsty she also leaves you a cup of iced tea

Tucks you in and holds you tight

While you're still asleep

Will never scream at you or yell at you

Even when their is a slight disagreement

Tatum first introduced you to her best friend Sidney

During junior year of high school during math class

"Woah! Who is she?" Sidney asks Tatum

"That's my cousin, Sid. Her name is (Y/n)". Said Tatum

"She is so beautiful. Do you think you can introduce me to her?" Sid asks Tatum

"Sure!" Said Tatum. "Though she just got through this awful, awful breakup recently".

Sidney frowned. "How long was she and her ex together for?" Sidney asked.

"A year". Said Tatum. "The guy is a HUGE asshole. He just wanted her virginity and he cheated on her with her best friend". She said

"That is horrible! Sickening". Sidney said.

"Yeah", said Tatum "And what's even worse is her best friend started this rumor about my cousin saying she is the whore of the school. Even though that wasnt true at all". She said

Sidney shook her head. "Those no good bitches!"

"And everyone called her lose and cheap. So one day my cousin punched both her ex and her now former best friend in the face". Said Tatum.

Sidney listened.

"She grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed them with it. Now that was fuckin epic!" Said Tatum.

Sidney giggled. "She is a cutie". She said. She waved at you and you waved at Sydney.

And from that moment you both smiled at each other

You both can feel the sparks between you and Sidney

And about a week later you and Sidney still texted each other and became best friends

And a month later became girlfriends

Sidney is super protective

Her arms around you makes you feel safe

Her kisses make you wanna smile and giggle

When Sydney cuddles you you love how warm she is

And how strong she is and how gentle she is

When she holds you tight

[applejarjar]

Bitches got me playing my depresso song list for the first time since fuckin crunch time in school

Shitstorm of a day

[trans-elrond]

Nik! Did you watch Rebel Moon? How was it?

Yes hello this is my 4 star review of rebel moon on letterboxd.

But first: a professional, somewhat critical review of rebel moon that engages with the film well, especially regarding anti-colonial themes, and isn't just knee-jerk regurgitated Snyder haterism:

And now more of my thoughts: [edit: Oh No, He Went And Talked For 3 Hours About It, Thanks For Coming To My TedTalk:)

No one has a better knack at putting together a cast list SO ATTRACTIVE TO THE BISEXUALS. read it and weep, boys. (Jena Malone is there too but really just for 1 set piece)

...Jena Malone's one (1) scene set piece features her as an alien spider woman with legitimate grievances against the Empire who now wants to kill kids because all her kids were killed. Like, so valid, girl. Also, did I say Jena Malone as an alien spider-woman? And this is just one scene.

Look, if that pitch doesn't hook you, this film may not be for you, and that's okay, but by GOD my people are the people who hear "Jena Malone alien spider woman" and perk up. I love you, freaks.

The cinematography is ace and always will be under Snyder's direction. music by Tom Holkenborg SLAPS. Costuming and design overall is super super strong. (People on this hellsite are always complaining about inadequate, boring as hell sci-fi design and you get RM and you don't appreciate it for what it is. WAKE UP.)

Costume showcase! Second from the right in this photo showing off those sweet sweet sci-fi costume designs is my beloved non-binary they/them revolutionary Milius. CANONICALLY non-binary, let me add. Imagine SW doing that lmaoooooooooooo D*ve Filoni would fuckin keel over and die

Kora! Our tragic female protagonist of color who's over 40, with a dark edgy sexy background. [KIDNAPPED AS A CHILD!! DEAD FAMILY!!! DEAD LOVER!!!!!!! SHE FAILED TO PROTECT HER WARD FROM ASSASSINATION!!!!! SHE IS THE MOST WANTED WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE!!]

Bitches on tumblr LOVE taking failmen with sad backstories from media and blorbifying them, but the second it's a woman? please. If this was a man people would be writing the filthiest x reader smut you've seen since Mandalorian S1 came out. If this was a man you'd already have seen 20,000 fan drawings of her with her muscles and tits OUT. God where's my Kora fanart.

I personally have no problems with the plot of this movie (part 1 of 2) being "we must collect warriors to fight the evil empire." That's kinda fantasy story 101 and I still love new, varied interpretations of that plot.

If there's not much interconnecting plot because Kora's just gathering fighters, it's kinda like... that's the point, babes, they'll actually get to it in part 2. We're just at the "forming the team" stage. I revel in that part of a fantasy film and I always want it to be longer, so this film is like catnip to me.

Uh, yeah, this is getting long. More under the cut.

Entertainment professional nitpick time! I've seen someone say RM would be better as a TV show to introduce a new character each episode. And I truly don't think that fixes any of the problems this person has with the film, while introducing way more problems. (Who the fuck would go in on an original concept TV show where each episode introduces a new hero. You could not sell that pitch to a studio, ever, and viewers would instantly check out if they didn't like the introduced character of the week, and the same complaints would be made: it’s just a new character intro blah blah blah. This wouldn’t fix anything! It would very much make it worse!)

Me, like every day, through gritted teeth: that's... not... how... tv... works...

Like be realistic for a hot second with me. Television is not "long movie"—it is a different medium with different rules. Yes, the past decade has blurred many lines between TV and film, but they're still different mediums, and when people blur them ("it's a 10-hour movie!") the results often suck ass, because you either lack episodic structure or you lack feature structure. Snyder is a feature filmmaker who has never worked in TV. Whenever features people jump into TV, it's a whole other learning curve! They're usually terrible at it! You want Snyder to have to learn a new medium? You want him to learn 5/6-act TV structure from scratch? You want him to (horrified gasp) lead a writers room? Those are not his strengths, baby. Let him play in his space opera sandbox.

And I'm not done! You want the casting team to have to deal with the headache of getting feature film actors to star in a TV show? (Pay cuts! Longer commitments! TV production timelines!) You want to do that to me, personally, and fuck up the TV landscape some more by going, "Oh, we can basically just make a Longer Feature Film in TV"? Fuck off with that. TV has different production realities and different basic story structures. A [long] film [with two parts] is still a film, in structure and production practicalities.

Truly, Tumblr media studies brains (derogatory) at it again.

To each their own, but again, I think RM's structure is fun because it gives me more of the goodies (badass, varied character intros) for the price of one (2-hour film.) Like... that's the good stuff, that's often the most exhilarating part of a film for me. And contrary to popular belief, it's not intro to intro without rising tension or stakes. It builds tension as it goes because new facets of resistance against the Motherworld are explored in each character's intro scene. New ways they fight back, new worlds on which they fight back. And a ticking time bomb of the King's Gaze (king's gays lol) catching up.

Here, have a trailer bc Tumblr's mad at me for too much text in one block.

...I like the RM characters. I want to spend time with them and see what other zany shenanigans Snyder will have them do. (Alien bar fights! Taming a space gryphon! Lightsaber battle!) I like the side-quest-y, exploratory, space opera sandbox playground nature. It's fun, and like, again, if you don't perk up at the concept of collecting cool characters like action figures, this film may just not be for you.

To me it's a polycule. Like, the most messed up polycule in the whole galaxy, but it's a polycule.

Speaking of: THE CHARACTERS ROCK. Yeah, we're missing some significant character development because Netflix truncated Snyder's 4-hr, R-rated film into a 2-hr PG-13 version (likely to be able to release the 4-hr cut later, drum up new press, and get more eyeballs on the movie in total in a few months.) That's... not really Snyder's fault [even though he claims he's in on the plan... some part of me thinks it was Netflix's idea and not his. Stinks of studio meddling.] And it's not indicative of the quality of the actual film, which I currently see as more of an abridged version of the R-rated film that's gonna come out and fill up some of these story holes.

If people are judging the film for not being the 4-hour version, and then decide not to see the 4-hour version, that's their call, but it's kinda shitty to act like the 2-hr version is all there is. Like it probably wasn't Snyder's call to do a 2-hr cut! He's said that the 4-hr one is a whole different movie. I betcha the common criticisms (not enough character development, just jumps from character intro to character intro without interconnection, lack of structure) will be helped, if not outright solved, by the longer cut.

I think people are also happy to take a Part 1 of a movie if it's, say, Dune, and the source material has another part, so Part 1 is allowed to be fucking boring, whereas people don't give that kind of allowance to original sci-fi movies, WHICH IS A REASON WE DON'T GET ORIGINAL SCI-FI. If you're painting with as huge and cosmic a palette as space opera Rebel Moon, the 4-8 hours total across the 2 four-hour parts is kinda bare minimum for an epic. So... patience is a virtue? Let part 1 have elements of IT'S KIND OF A PROLOGUE?

What's that saying? If you want the rewards of space opera worldbuilding with an ensemble cast, you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of 2 hours of setup. Geez. Enjoy the wacky exposition or get out of the space opera genre.

Yeah, that leads me to the point of people who don't enjoy space opera are getting mad at RM for fulfilling the promises of the genre. You might truly be happier elsewhere. The whole thing is over-the-top, huge-scale MELODRAMA and I thrive on melodrama. If it's too cheesy for you, don't come to space operas!!!!!!!

On that note, people have said RM is too tropey and too Star Wars-y. But like I said. If you don't love the tropes get out of the genre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you aren't here for bloodier/hornier Star Wars get out of RM!!!!

Another big idea I would be remiss to skip over. RM is an explicitly, deliberately anti-colonial, anti-imperial text—far, far more so than any other mainstream sci-fi currently being released. Well-intentioned liberals love to tout Star Trek/Star Wars as progressive media but they really hedge and defang all their political commentary, especially in their 21st century franchise form—think the SW sequels/shows straight up woobifying K*lo Ren in realtime and the Trek shows that (while fun!) are really often just nostalgia bait.

RM is pretty fucking radical. Its theme basically is Kill Nazis—or in expanded form, something along the lines of "The empire will eat up everything of value in the universe unless it is met with unified armed resistance built on solidarity."

And just look at RM's casting. We're not colorblind here; we're very color-conscious. (That's a rant for another day, but I've really started to despise colorblind casting for its extremely well-intentioned-liberal "we're all the same" mentality. It just winds up erasing.) Anyway: RM features the explicitly American-English-Afrikaans empire vs. the Algerian Amazigh protagonist, Black freedom fighters, Japanese revolutionary... and like. Snyder's always gonna be into Vikings so obviously we have Space Vikings too, whatever. Look at me, I can criticize Snyder too! The Poor Sad Space Vikings are not the strongest part of the film!

...Anyway of course the empire vs. revolution is absolutely kind of Star Wars-y since RM is highkey Snyder's Star Wars, but it goes so much further than SW dreamed (or, perhaps, nightmared). SW's rebels/resistance continually get defanged because they're kind of foundationally space magic/singular hero's quest deals, and modern SW with the exception of Rogue One/Andor is just politically, socially stupid. In contrast, RM is about forming a coalition, without something like the Force to help you out. I could write an essay on the ways RM starts in the same place Star Wars starts but takes its politics so much more seriously, so much further.

While I'd argue "good politics" and "artistic quality" rarely correlate, RM is explicitly and doggedly a text about the colonial empire that exploits, enslaves, abuses, and seeks to utterly control marginalized people groups in its quest for domination—and god, I would LOVE to see a resurgence in very fanged, very angry political sci-fi.

One more aside. Snyder has been rightfully criticized for his earlier works basking in fascist-adjacent, hypermasculine aesthetics; 300 is notably super duper racist in how it depicts savage/monstrous Persians vs. Beautifully Good White Spartans Defending Their Culture. (more on "300 Bad" stored up in my brain if anyone wants THAT rant.) To Snyder's credit, none of his films since 300 have really done that—parts of Batman v Superman and his cut of Justice League purposefully poke fun at it. The hypermasculinity is kinda still there, but it's subsumed in the service of melodrama and mythic-flavored cinema, and it's kinda a staple of the action genre anyway, and if you're gonna criticize Snyder without criticizing EVERY ACTION MOVIE EVER, that's just more regurgitated Snyder haterism.

No one is doing mythic action like Snyder these days. No one has the balls and the command of melodrama & operatic visuals. And it comes clearly from Snyder's background in art & art history because all his shots are jam-packed with symbolism and meaning and allusion. So criticize the film for its weaknesses if you like but geez, if I see another post railing about the lack of CRAFT in RM, I will start biting. ALMOST NO BLOCKBUSTER HAS THIS LEVEL OF CRAFT. It's okay that you don't understand visual storytelling, babygirl, but please don't accuse Snyder of lacking craft.

Sorry, you've triggered Cinema Defense Mechanisms in me, I'm gonna have to sit down for a while after this.

I have more takes. Takes hot enough to fuel the King's Gaze (king's gays lol.) But I'll end with a funny observation: I transed my gender (cheers, shouts, hoorays) just about the time I was getting ready to watch Rebel Moon, and in one shocking, epiphanic moment I turned to my partner and went "Of COURSE I'm a man. I like Zack Snyder." So........... do with that what you will.

[more-than-tender-curiosity]

Jordan baker for 002 for the character ask game?

1. That is the scariest woman I have ever met and I love her like she’s half of my soul

2. No one in the book really, but I think you’ve read Fugue for a Flapper, so you’ll understand when I say Maggie all the way.

3. Nick. Oh god. These two are two sides of the same lying ass bitch coin and I love them for it and that’s also WHY they don’t work romantically (besides yknow. Them being queer in my head). They would work SOOOO much better without comp-het in the way. I would listen to them bicker all day and then still grumble ‘I love you’ every time one of them has to leave so they know they’ve still got each other’s backs. I won’t say siblings because that’s also extremely Not It but Prickly Beloved is the only way I can describe it.

4. This is more in general but yall gotta stop with the step on me mommy type shit every time you see a female character who isn’t wilting in a milkbath. Youre weird being about women and you need to stop it. I see it in the comments of like gifsets of Jordan and I think you all need your keyboards taken away for two weeks

5. Goddamn give her a better ending. F scott Fitzgerald couldn’t help a woman finish if he tried and Jordan Baker is no different. She gets what ? A boring ass phone call from nick? Girl………..get a grip. She’s more than nick’s fuckin summer fling.

6. Again it’s maggie. I’m sorry jordaisy shippers I dont think daisy’s really after anybody

7. You know I think a better question would be who would you affront miss jordan baker with. What sort of individual would you pluck out of a whole nother universe and place before her. Like a cat with a lizard. Do you think she’s not eating? Do you think you have to warp somebody in from another world for her? Get real……..

8. Jordan’s tall. It never says this in the book. Not even once. But somehow we have all communicated through the gatsby mycelium network that jordan’s dresses are never quite long enough and I think that’s beautiful <3

[sugawarassoulmate]

Hii! I was binge reading your loser kuroo and oh my god 😭 it's literally everything I hope you don't mind me just venting everything I felt when reading fr.

The dynamic is just amazing! I'm not sure if bully!reader is not that common (everytime I search it's a bit hard to find, so omgg when I came across your work!). Sub guys are just 😪😔 a want you know?

The (lots of) 'first' interactions they had were so ughshsjsbs S-est tier! I felt the excitement on my body, like actually for real! Not gonna be a weirdo and get into details 🤭

And since I was reading it throughout the day I had to pause a few times, chorezz, and when it was getting too tiring and boring I'd stop to read and!! That's when the more angsty ones started and I was about to combust like lord how can life be like that?? Ik I'm being dramatic but it was like the story was kind of matching my mood.

So! It was the best rollercoaster I've been on so far. And again I really hope I'm not being too pushy? but I wanted to ask about some parts of the universe if that's fine! 😔

• are all of the works connected in the universe? I feel like to some point yes, not all of them, but you're the author!!

• about their dynamic in bed!! is the mc kind of like a sub? cause mc definitely leads the relationship. and how would tetsuro define himself? cause he acts like a sub (just realized how repetitive it sounds, sorry!) but when it comes to sex, at times he seems to be the one in "control", control might not be the best word to describe but, you know? for example when he's drunk. Sorry I don't know how to exactly say what's on my mind but you have a gigantic brain!! So I think the question is a tiny bit understandable.

• that part where he started showing interest in someone else?? That was my biggest wtfff moment (very respectfully). The part where I think I have more questions about. I feel like I'm really pushing my luck by asking these, so of course you can ignore these or just idk 😭. 1. Why did he start having feelings for someone else?? 2. Why did mc just ignore it like it was nothing when in other occasions they would be livid? 3. Why did *he* do that to mc? I was like damn bro there's no true love anywhere. In some occasions you mentioned mc being insecure and things like that. 4. How did mc really take it? Did mc feel sad at all with all that? What was mc really feeling through it all? Why did mc forgive him so easily? How was it when they got 'back together'? was mc even more of a cruel bitch to teach him a lesson or something? I'm light headed just thinking about it 😩.

I'm pretty sure there's more I want to ask but I can't remember right now and I feel like I went way over the socially acceptable to ask 😷

I just saw that were both infp and leo!! So happy very belated!!!

Thank you for the patience!

omg no i love these kinds of questions!!! i’m so glad you love their dynamic 🥹 trust me i love hearing all y’alls thoughts when it comes to my stuff it makes me so happy.

i’ll answer your questions one by one haha 

okey the worlds are kind of connected. you’re definitely right that in some ways they are and other ways they aren’t. i like the idea of everything being kinda interconnected in the sense that loser!kuroo, bully!osamu, and stoner!suga can all exist in one universe (the peach cinematic universe if u will) but i didn’t want to make hard rules if that makes sense??? cause i didn’t want to limit what scenarios i could put the characters in! so there’s deff the canon of osamu and reader being childhood frenemies and kuroo and his reader being college lab partners yeah but other than there aren’t rigid rules they have to follow. the freedom allows people to send in whatever request they want for those characters (so long as it doesn’t break my rules!!!) i hope that makes sense!!!

you’re definitely right about reader and loser!kuroo’s dynamic in bed! i just thought it was interesting for the mean, abrasive character to also be the sub in bed?? like “you’re a fucking loser, you can’t do anything without me but alsoooo please pin me down and hold me in bed.” i tend to imagine reader as being shorter/smaller than kuroo (but y’all can imagine reader any way you want!!) just cause i like the idea of mean person a who bullies and bosses around their much bigger/taller person b 😅

ok!!!!!! so i’m glad you caught onto that! it’s a dynamic that i’ve kind of been playing around with bc i have plans for a longer, possibly chaptered fic with that kind of plot in mind. if y’all remember that monstrous 8k fic i wrote for bully!samu and reader….i kinda want to do something similar??? (maybe reader finally tells kuroo she loves him?????) that’s very tbd at the moment haha

this was fun!! it felt like a press conference 😂😂😂 please send more asks like this i love talking about my writing and i LOVE even more hearing what all of you think!!!!

it’s not a bother to me at all!!!

[yourbelgianthings]

taz november celebration fic 3: prompt laugh

contrary to what you may think for this prompt, this is sad for like 3/4 of it lol but the end is happy, it’s tres horny boys and about 850 words

Magnus Burnsides's laugh was deep and hearty, but he wasn't used to hearing it by itself; he had always been laughing with Julia. Their life together was perfect, working with their hands and having something to show for it at the end of the day, then coming home to each other. Julia made dinner, Magnus did the dishes, their routine was consistent and comforting. They even thought about having a baby, although they were in no rush. Of course, that never happened, and when Magnus hugged Julia goodbye the day he left town, neither of them knew it would be the last. His friends brought dinners, went for walks, and spent evenings on the porch with Magnus after Julia's death, but he actually chose to bury her alone. The physical act of digging the grave was satisfying in a sick way, it grounded his soul in his body despite its countless attempts to break out through his ribs and fly away. A simple granite slab laid on top, reading: Julia Burnsides, We Love You Forever. His tears darkened the stone in little circles until the sun began to set, and he wouldn't laugh again for some time.

Merle Highchurch always did his best to keep a positive outlook, but it was hard to find reasons to laugh without his kids around. Apparently his sense of humor consisted of a lot of "dad jokes", and those weren't really a big hit with anyone else, especially when he was out trying to preach the word of Pan. He constantly struggled with his choice to leave after he was gone, if it was only the arranged marriage that was the problem, things would have been so much simpler. However, Hecuba and he had Mavis and Mookie, who he loved dearly. That didn't change the fact that he wasn't a very good dad, though, intentions don't count for much in that regard. So, he decided they would be better off without him; if you love something let it go and all that. Cycling through feelings of freedom, guilt, regret, apathy, and more, he wandered the world, presumably to share the word of Pan, but really just wishing to be able to laugh again.

Taako Taaco was very hard to make laugh. He and Lup used to do just that when they were bored, whoever laughed first lost and then they would just be in a fit of giggles for a while anyway. They found things funny between themselves that nobody else understood, but it didn't matter, because it made perfect sense to them. Not that he remembered any of this, of course. The Taako who forgot could be very cynical, and often saw humor from others as an attempt to conceal their true attitudes or motives. On stage for Sizzle It Up With Taako, he laughed and told jokes, but that was about as fake as it got. Hearing the applause and cheers from the audience, seeing the excitement in their eyes, and being complimented as he signed autographs and posed for pictures gave Taako energy and kept him going. He thrived on the attention, but some days, it wasn't enough and there was nothing else. Getting out of bed seemed impossible as his body simultaneously felt heavy and hollow. After Glamor Springs, this set in for several weeks until he suddenly thought: I'm fuckin' Taako from TV, I can go do whatever I want, and if anyone has a problem wit h that, I'll just laugh in their face and keep going.

One night, several months later, in their dorm at the Bureau of Balance, Tres Horny Boys were having a sleepover. Technically, they always did this by virtue of sharing a room, but they had decided to make a night of it, just for fun. Taako cooked the most delicious popcorn the other two had ever had, with the perfect amounts of butter and salt, and he also bought some nail polish from the Fantasy Costco. Magnus realized that Pringles had left some of his stuff in the room, so they had some cool old CDs to listen to, and Merle had found some candles for more ambient lighting. They were all set for the perfect sleepover, and as Taako was painting Magnus's nails shiny silver by candlelight, Merle set down the big bowl of popcorn he had been snacking on and asked, "What did everyone say to the kernel when he finally popped?"

Taako snorted and said,

"Merle, I am not even going to entertain this one," but there was a smile on his face.

Magnus gave in, "I don't know, Merle, what?"

"CORN-GRATULATIONS!"

Magnus immediately burst out laughing, which made Merle join in and Taako shout,

"Mags, you're going to mess up your nails!" although he couldn't help laughing too. It was just so ridiculous and Merle's confidence in the delivery was what really got them. The three of them flopped onto each other, slightly out of breath the way the best fits of laughter leave you, Taako leaning on Magnus's shoulder and Merle leaning on his stomach on the other side. They all smiled, and for the moment, things were okay.