#3rd Test Match Live

[ipl24]

#India vs Australia Hockey Test Series 3rd Match LIVE Streaming Details: When And Where To Watch IND vs AUS Match On Mobile, Laptop, TV And More In India? | Other Sports News #TATAIPL #IPL24

#IPL24 # The Indian men’s hockey team is determined to rally together to avoid a third consecutive loss as they face a formidable Australian team in the third Test of their five-match series on Wednesday. In the first two matches of the series, India suffered defeats of 1-5 and 2-4 against Australia, highlighting areas for improvement crucial for their preparations for the upcoming Paris…

[sadbhawnapaati]

इंदौर के होलकर स्टेडियम पहुंची भारतीय टीम, अभ्यास करते दिखे विराट कोहली  

Indore News in Hindi. बॉर्डर-गावस्कर ट्रॉफी के तीसरे टेस्ट के लिए भारतीय टीम के ज्यादातर खिलाड़ी इंदौर आ चुके है। रविवार को टीम इंडिया के खिलाड़ियों ने होलकर स्टेडियम पहुंच कर मैच का अभ्यास भी किया। टीम इंडिया के कप्तान रोहित शर्मा आज इंदौर आएंगे। 1 मार्च को भारत और ऑस्ट्रेलिया टीम के बीच इंदौर के होलकर स्टेडियम में मैच खेला जाएगा। Holkar Cricket Stadium Indore – कल सुबह अभ्यास करने स्टेडियम…

[forjongseong]

masterlist for jongseong

code: ❤️‍🔥 smut / 💛 fluff / 💗 suggestive / 💙 angst / 3️⃣ written in 3rd person POV

words of affirmation; bf!jay au (released on May 19, 2022)

summary: you’ve put on a couple of pounds and it bothers you, but your boyfriend is there to remind you that you’re beautiful. // wc: ~1.6k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

quality time; bf!jay au (released on Jun 9, 2022)

summary: you’re on a date with your boyfriend, and you bump into your ex :/ // wc: ~1.3k 💛💗3️⃣

quiet; bf!jay au (released on Jun 20, 2022)

summary: you're helping your ex with a second opinion while a potential new love interest is waiting for you (or the two of you) right outside... // wc: ~1.2k 💛3️⃣

rolex; bf!jay au (released on Jul 12, 2022)

summary: spending absolute quality time with a potential new love interest... who seems to keep throwing questions that feel like hugs. // wc: ~1.5k 💛3️⃣

favorito; bf!jay au (released on Jul 21, 2022)

summary: you get home from a lovely dinner with your boyfriend's parents, and since you didn't get to order dessert, your boyfriend fixes something for you. // wc: ~2.1k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

mareado; bf!jay au (released on Jul 28, 2022)

summary: you wake up in your boyfriend's arms after a long night. // wc: ~1.1k 💛💗3️⃣

la boca; bf!jay au (released on Jul 31, 2022)

summary: your boyfriend is back from an overseas schedule and you just can't wait to jump on him. // wc: ~2.4k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

maybe baby; bf!jay au (released on Aug 4, 2022)

summary: after a pleasant dinner, you invite Jay to stay the night at your place. // wc: ~1.9k 💛💗3️⃣

taste; bf!jay au (released on Aug 13, 2022)

summary: you've been dating for a while and tonight is the night you decide to go for a taste of your boyfriend. // wc: ~2.1k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

overworked; bf!jay au (released on Aug 18, 2022)

summary: your boyfriend visits you for his off days to find you chasing a deadline. despite this, he chooses to stay and be in your presence to support you. // wc: ~2.6k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

jealous; bf!jay au (released on Jul 15, 2022)

summary: you attend the party of the year and you're lost because your boyfriend isn't there to keep you company. luckily you've got a surprise waiting at home. // wc: ~3.4k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

afterglow; bf!jay au (released on Aug 26, 2022)

summary: you come home from dinner with your boyfriend and when you end up arguing, you realize you have met your match. // wc: ~2.9k ❤️‍🔥3️⃣

the archer and his queen; royalty!au, archer!jay (released on Apr 6, 2023)

summary: As reigning queen, your most important task is to produce an heir, but without a king, you must exercise your power to find a worthy man. That man happens to be your kingdom's best archer. // wc: ~8.2k ❤️‍🔥

free fall; secret agents!au, doctor!jay (released on May 1, 2023)

summary: you were tasked to eliminate a target, which should be just another day in your life, but what were you supposed to do when said target was your ex-husband whom you had left months ago? // wc: ~1.3k 💗💙

first mate; pirates!au, quartermaster!jay (released on May 9, 2023)

summary: After the passing of the Captain, you had to mourn in your own way. Your ship's Quartermaster, Jay, showed his concern for you, and it tugged your heart in a way that you never thought could happen. // wc: ~2.3k ❤️‍🔥

bite me; royalty!au, knight!jay (released on June 10, 2023)

summary: a knight stumbles upon your castle, and unlike anyone you have encountered before, this young man seems to have a scent that you somehow cannot resist. // wc: ~6k ❤️‍🔥

the reward; campus!au, student!jay (released on June 12, 2023)

summary: you teach for a living, and you had been picking up tutoring since the extra money wasn’t that bad. most of your meetings consist of essay-writing, mock tests, and speaking exercises; so when Jay became your student, you weren’t expecting the lessons to include rewards. // wc: ~9.5k ❤️‍🔥

pine-fresh; hogwarts!au, slytherin!jay (released on September 17, 2023)

summary: a dash of bickering and a whole lot of miscommunication in Potions class landed you and Slytherin’s Park Jongseong in detention. did you ask for it? no. did you regret it? also, no. // wc: ~4k ❤️‍🔥

© forjongseong 2023, all rights reserved

please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of the works above to any other platform.

[nunalastor]

Resident Evil Asks Because Goddamn There Are A Lot

Anonymous asked:

One downside to RE7: Alastor gets his hands on a grenade launcher. That feels like a weapon he shouldn’t have. 

Anonymous asked:

There’s a bit in RE7 and 8 that protagonist Ethan absolutely refuses to show his face to cameras. His face is covered in pictures, he will turn away from the camera if you go into 3rd person, and he suffered horrible damage and collapsed on his back but STILL ROLLED OVER SO HIS FACE WOULDN’T BE SEEN IN EVIDENCE PICTURES.

Yeah we picked Ethan as the RE protagonist Alastor slots into for a reason.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7

Lucas Baker appears around the hotel and if the residents thought they knew what it looked like when Alastor was on sight, they've seen NOTHING until they saw Alastor attack him with a shotgun, resulting in the two getting into a screaming match.

It's hard to make out what is being said but between "you ruined my trap, Alastor" and "you kidnapped Guy TWICE. I know you weren't controlled like your parents" they figured out this ties back to their human lives. Charlie gives up on even attempting to go into her usual forgiveness spiel when Alastor brings out the flamethrower saying he killed Lucas once and he'll do it again because come on he did not let Lucas get away like in the game.

Now they have more questions. How do they know each other? Who is Guy and why does Alastor care about him? What control are they both talking about? What trap???

Vox meanwhile wants to know who this guy is and why Alastor hates him more than Vox himself.

Anonymous asked:

Alastor stockpiling the healing items from RE7 and using them in his battle against Adam. He takes the hit and sustains all the injuries buckshot anon described but it's a mild inconvenience because he pours the weird herb fluid on his hand and is back in action and goes at Adam again.

Adam has fun with it at first, a sinner who won’t back down, but Alastor's stockpiling means he can go at this for as long as he wants to become familiar with Adam's moves and openings, and that would get frustrating.

If he does manage to sever a limb and Alastor calmly puts it back on is when that would really start to freak Adam out. And Vox would be fuming while watching because all of this proves the "almost beat" in their own fight was not any skill Vox had, instead Alastor not giving a fuck.

Anonymous asked:

Combining Alastor having the Dahlia Hawthorne thing going on and Resident Evil 7 means Alastor went to the Baker Estate at minimum armed with the sun umbrella Dahlia always has. Alastor beat the shit out of a mold zombie with an umbrella, there’s no way he didn’t.

Anonymous asked:

For the RE7 au, when Alastor finds Lucas Bake, he puts him through the same ‘tests’ that Lucas made Alastor endure in the Baker Estate. Alastor definitely makes sure Lucas’ pain is slow and agonizing.

When hotel find out he has someone captive that he frequently tortures (that Husk or Nifty didn’t even know about) they’re like,

“Why is this guy your prisoner?” “Even for you this is too far” “What could he have possibly done for you to do this?”

Charlie would even try (and fail miserably) to persuade Alastor to let Lucas go and maybe forgive.

Alastor would only give vague answers or not even give any. He would just say, “This is between me and the miserable wretch”

Also Alastor never kept Lucas in the hotel, but a secret location that Lucifer discovered. Lucifer cause he was suspicious of Alastor because he said he was going to Cannibal Town. Charlie needed Alastor for an emergency and when she called Rosie, she said Alastor never visited. That made Lucifer suspicious so he decided to follow Alastor and found him in one of his sessions with Lucas.

Anonymous asked:

Some more RE7 ideas I want to share, especially the whole mind thing. Ethan was able to communicate with the real Jack Baker because all them were infected with the mold.

So it’s kind of like a form of communication between everyone, that even souls from heaven and hell can communicate but it’s laggy and slow (kind of like low internet connection). This means they can also communicate with Roo but only if she allows it. Despite what happened, Alastor and the Bakers (exception of Lucas) became good friends. They and Guy are on board for Alastor to be redeemed.

The subject of Lucas is a sore topic and Alastor tries to avoid it the best he can. As long as he keeps Lucas’ weak, his connection is low.

Anonymous asked:

If the hotel thinks watching just Jack's section of Alastor's time in the Baker Estate was bad, wait until they get to Marguerite, Lucas, and Eveline. Eveline's section would probably be different to the game because Mia was directly involved with her creation where Guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but still terrifying.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7 

Alastor sometimes hums the song “go tell Aunt Rhody,” the song Eveline would always hum (really recommend the RE7 version), and the hotel never thought anything of it. Husk sometimes heard Alastor singing the lyrics and thought he was talking about himself based on the line “they locked me up and took my soul,” so he didn’t think anything of it either.

They have a lot of concerned opinions about that upon knowing what happened in the Baker Estate and where that song actually came from.

Anonymous asked:

Watching Alastor's time in the Baker's Estate, nobody talks much but when that cop finds Alastor trapped inside and basically says Alastor isn't right in the head and there have been missing people in this area, Charlie is practically screaming "THAT'S HIM! HE'S ONE OF THE MISSING!"

Anonymous asked:

Alastor was reasonably frightened in the Baker’s Estate, serial killer or not the creatures he’s up against would be terrifying, but the thing that truly scared him was when he found Guy locked in that padded cell, and Guy immediately had some kind of mental breakdown and tried to get them out because “Daddy’s coming.”

Angel raised an eyebrow at the Daddy title if Lucifer showed them what happened at the Baker's Estate, but that was the moment Alastor knew something was seriously wrong with Guy. Guy knows Alastor has issues with his father and fathers in general. He wouldn’t say something like that unless either that was the only name he knew for his captor (begging the question of why), or something got into Guy’s head. That's the worst thing Guy could possibly say, and Guy should know that.

He wouldn’t immediately assume Guy’s possessed by demon mold, but that combined with Guy panicking about disappearing doors, not remembering things well, and behavior indicative of hallucinations, Alastor knows he needs to watch his back. When Guy disappears and Alastor finds him again, he is much more prepared for this to be the mold-possessed version of Guy that tries to attack him. 

Anonymous asked:

Eveline (RE7) manifests herself as a child but Alastor “would strike a child” Hawthorne was in no way deterred by this. Need to defeat the demon child to save Guy? He's on his way to get it over with.

Anonymous asked:

Talks of Guy and Alastor in the Bakers' Estate got me thinking. Both would have serious trauma from that, especially Guy who was there longer, and that trauma would be even worse if he died by an illness from the Bakers' Estate.

During episode 6, Adam shamed Angel for going to a bar with friends after a hard day, and when called out for that only retaliated that "Uh, we don't have hard days? It's fucking Heaven, bitch." Nobody tried to deny this was the line of thinking in Heaven, that people don't have bad days so coping methods are minimal or shamed.

Would Guy even do well in Heaven? He was ripped from his friend he knows understands his trauma, and any attempts to process or cope with the trauma would be shamed so he would have to either suffer in silence or live in secrecy. If he died from disease, he didn't get a chance in life to come to terms with it either and his death was awful.

Anonymous asked:

For RE7, I’m scared to think about the screenshots Vox took of human Alastor. He already has a room filled with Alastor’s photos, now he has the human ones.

Anonymous asked:

Another messed-up aspect of Alastor going to the Bakers' Estate (and would terrify the hotel) is the beginning of Marguerite's section. In the game, Ethan found a video from Mia detailing her experiences that night trying to escape and being captured. In absence of that technology, Alastor is either going in blind, or managed to find Guy again and they went through the old house the first time together, hearing Marguerite’s switching between calm and enraged, yelling and chastising Guy for wanting to escape with “that boy, Alastor,” and neither of them know how she knows Alastor's name, because Alastor didn't say it and Guy insists he didn't either but has so many memory problems he can't be sure.

Especially terrifying if that means Alastor was there when Guy is captured again by Marguerite, and he has the chase after them as Guy is screaming and begging Alastor for help.

Anonymous asked:

Since we are doing RE 7, how about RE 8 with Rose being the biological daughter of Guy

After being rescued, the police force thought it was a good idea to hire a lady of the night to entertain Guy. (I still think Guy is also on the ace spectrum but he just experienced a living hell for about three years. And he was probably buzzed and without Alastor there things happened)

They didn’t know about Rose until a friend of the girl dropped her off. Apparently the mother didn’t want to take care of Rose (appearntly she sensed an evil presence in the baby) making Guy was a single dad. But Alastor decided to step up and that’s how Rose Hawthorne Winters had two dads in the 1920/30’s.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7

Alastor avoiding everyone in the hotel because they watched his past and now his photo of his human self is all over the web. Eventually he would leave the hotel for even days, choosing to stay at Cannibal Town and murdering every person that decides to go up to him talk about his past.

Charlie: Alastor I’m so sorry!

Alastor: Sorry that you invaded my privacy or sorry that most of hell know what I looked like and my past.

Charlie: Both

Alastor: Noted. But now I have to remind those stupid enough to mess with the Radio Demon.

They’re also on the lookout for Bakers. Alastor will be damned if anyone, especially the Vees find Lucas Baker.

Anonymous asked:

Susan is actually Eveline and she can change her age to little girl to an old lady, with Alastor she reverts back to her Eveline form and when she is playing with the Cannibal children.

[momma-pixel]

A Journey Can't Begin Until You Take The First Step, And Then There's No Telling What Will Happen.

[Content Warning: A single mention of drugs, alcohol, suicide. Lots of discussion about depression and mental illness.] This is my 3rd attempt at transitioning and I swear to whatever high atop the thing if this attempt fails I'm gonna absolutely lose my shit. I didn't know it at the time but the route I took from there to here would be wrought with chaos and pain.

My first attempt was an abject failure. Back then we had to follow the Harry Benjamin Standards and go through a Real Life Test in order to start hormone therapy. Unless you were really lucky or had sympathetic doctors you had to deal with the Gatekeepers who wanted receipts, and living in the deep south at the time made this all even worse. This would lead to my final attempt at shedding my mortal coil and boxing her up in the deepest corner of my mental closet.

This is where I danced a downward spiral and gave absolutely no fucks. Drugs and alcohol. A long path of broken hearts from relationships I kept sabotaging. Excessive eating. A day that ended in -y meant the plan was the same - lets make some bad decisions and self-destruct. I was damaging myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and I didn't care. I wasn't looking to the future because I didn't plan on having one, I didn't look to the past either because it only led to blaming myself even more. I looked at the here and now simultaneously damaging myself and doing damage control. It was exhausting!

I had a fight with myself that sort of stopped this. I was in the midst of a manic episode and just riding its wake, coming up on day 3 of no sleep and was working on getting pretty well sloshed. I was alone and just pacing around my house in the dark saying some very awful things to myself and then it happened - I saw my reflection in the mirror and absolutely loathed it! I wanted to recoil from it but instead I got angry. Really angry. Hulk angry. What commenced was a rage-fueled screaming match with myself of hurricane proportions. I can't tell you exactly what was said nor how long it lasted for, but I seems I managed to sleep as when I came to again I was in bed. The brain fog was heavy and deep which was normal, but I would eventually notice a note I wrote myself on my hand that said "I forgive you". I remembered, sort of. The memories were (and still are) hazy, but I remembered just enough to be numb. This was an absolute vast improvement that can't be understated. Its like being negative 5million and suddenly being at 0.

Reconstruction takes time. Current damage has to be assessed and additional damage mitigated. I'd gained a ton of weight, had either burned down or set fire to numerous social bridges, and had a few new health issues that needed to be repaired. A few years later I eventually considered the repair project complete and I was very much a blank slate. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted - it was a pure existential crisis. It made perfect sense at the time and hindsight (and my therapist) says it was absolutely the wrong thing to do, but I said fuck it and built a new me. I frankensteined a new person and would proceed to alter and replace pieces as needed. Write this down kids, this is called an unhealthy coping mechanism.

This invariably leads to the second attempt at transitioning. New me found themself in a new state with new friends, a new path in life, and a new opportunity. Planned Parenthood was now offering transitioning services! No gatekeeping. They said "you know you better than we ever could, as long as you know the risks and are prepared for the changes we can help". This was a warp speed steamroller event. I dug deep into that closet and pulled that box out, letting her out and unabashedly parading her around. Got my hormones, got new clothes, got my own place, and had all the amazing safe and consensual sex I could (sane was not welcome, because this girl had time to make up for!). It was intoxicating! Living, working, shopping, dating as the true me. In this whirlwind I lost friends and family but didn't realize it. I created a hollow existence that had no actual meaning or substance. Sure, my body was starting to look the way I always wanted it to, I was living the life she always wanted to, and there was no one there to stop me.

So that's the thing - there was no one there. It was chistmas day and I was sitting alone in my apartment eating ramen and cold pizza. No text messages or calls, no visitors or invites. The only gift I received that day was from myself, an epiphany. I had once again blown up my life. You see, when you take something out of storage and intend to use it you need to make sure it's still fit for function. She wasn't. She was a battered and bruised beast from a much earlier part of my life that I just kept feeding and had lost control. I had such terrible tunnel vision that I mistook the light of an oncoming freight train for the light at the end of the tunnel.

I detransitioned. I guess you could say I also detoxed. But this time I did not do it alone, I had a good therapist and a good friend that moved in with me. We examined the deepest parts of me, of her, of I. It was tough. The toughest and hardest thing I ever had to do, but it HAD to be done. This civilization I had built was done on the rubble and ruined remains of the last one, which makes for a very poor foundation. It was doomed to fail. My friend sort of acted like a sponsor. She was there to help guide me and make sure I didn't relapse. She helped me sell or give away what I had to, and by the end I had a clean and empty plot of land. Maybe something would grow there, or maybe something would be built there. But no matter what happened, I had to stay vigilant. I had to protect this land because this land was me. I was the sole resident, caretaker, gardener, builder, guardian.

My wife is my world. She knows my entire history, the battles and wars I've fought, the mental and emotional challenges I face every day, and she takes it all with open arms and never complains. When we talked about having kids we didn't know what would happen - between my own biological issues and the changes from the hormones it was a huge question as to whether I even could father a child. We talked about doing all the medical tests my doctor wanted to do as a kid, but when we really thought about it, what would the results change? Would knowing I was intersex, or had some kind of biological irregularity change anything for us? I already had a somewhat clean bill of health from my last checkup. So we said fuck it. It took quite a long time (and not for lack of effort or trying) but we eventually had our first daughter. We also inadvertently sparked something in me.

My therapist didn't know it, my wife didn't know it, and I didn't know it but the birth of my daughter was the trigger for a cascading series of events. As much as I had tried, using all the tools available, I could not keep denying my transgenderedness. Transness? It had always been there, in a quiet and overlooked part of my land, dormant but with just enough life to keep existing. Having a child and becoming a parent was the trigger needed to spark it back to life. Slowly, silently, it grew and stretched out its roots all the while causing emotional and mental issues. My depressive episodes were coming more frequent, but we didn't notice it was depression. My dysphoria was coming back with a vengeance but we thought it was from other sources. My egg was cracking open.

All it took was a simple, innocent, statement and everything changed. My daughter had tripped and fell, started crying, and as I picked her up I said "Come to mommy, baby". My wife noticed what I said, I noticed what I said, and the egg fully cracked open. It would be a series of conversations, large and small, over a few years. It would be 2 steps back and one step forward and jumping in place. We eventually would have the final conversation and determine that yes, I needed to transition. This part of me cannot be denied, ignored, or buried. When I asked what it would mean for our marriage, I said losing you wasn't worth it. She said I married the person, not the gender. We would have our second and last child before starting down this path.

So here we are in my third transition attempt. She has been an integral part from day one. We've explored what I want from this, what can be obtained and what can't, what needs to adjust in our marriage and how we can do it successfully. She gives me my weekly E shots and comes with me to every appointment. This change has also given her the ability to not only explore her own bisexuality, but also gender. We consider our friendship, relationship, and marriage even stronger than before. Our own little family unit is building quite the home on my land. My girls flip/flop between calling me mommy or daddy, but we don't mind since they always call me she or her or even ma'am. My eldest daughter always tells me how pretty I look or how she likes my dress or jewelry. Thanks to an obsession the youngest one had with the movie Coraline, father's day has been celebrated as Other Mother's Day.

Life isn't perfect though, nor should I expect it to be. This journey has also she light on how just how my own mental illnesses have been impacting me and the decisions I've made (if my biography is ever written a copy of the DSM V will need to be packaged with it for reference). Despite my vigilance things do sneak past and I've only just started climbing out of the deepest depression hole I've ever been in and this episode started 4months ago, but my wife has been loving, understanding, and supportive which helped immensely in pulling myself out.

I've socially transitioned at home, at work, and in the world at large. I'm medically transitioning and will soon legally transition. While I mourn that she never got to experience this in it's purest form, I do take solace in knowing she would have approved.

I've received my share of flak from people before, saying that I shouldn't transition because of my mental illness or that my history gives other trans people a bad name. Some bolder individuals have even said that because I detransitioned that means I was never trans to begin with. It hurts for a bit, but the haters are gonna hate and sometimes bitches just be trippin. From the time I started that Real Life Test to now it has taken me 21 years, a herculean task if there ever was one, and I have earned every. little. inch. This victory was earned with blood, sweat, and tears. Want to devalue that? Want to invalidate that? Want to take that away? Well, you'll need to pry it from my cold, dead, fabulously-manicured hands.

If you've read this far and you're struggling with your own transition, know that I understand and I support you. You aren't the first, you aren't alone, and you are heard. I love you!

A man is walking down the road and falls into a hole. He tries and tries but he can't climb out. A doctor passes by and he yells out "Hey doc, I fell in this hole and I can't get out! Can you help?" and the doctor looks down, writes a script, and sends it down saying "This should help!" and walks away. The next passerby is a priest and he yells out "Hey padre, I fell in this hole and I can't get out! Can you help?" and the priest says "Yes! I'll pray for you!" and walks away. The next person is his friend, Joe. "Hey Joe, I fell in this hole and I can't get out! Can you help?", Joe looks down, see's his friend, and jumps in the hole with him. "Joe, what the hell are you doing? Now we're both stuck down here!" he says. Joe replies "Yeah, but I've been here before and I know the way out".

[shuttershocky]

let's say, hypothetically, someone picked up Gigantic after reading several of your posts despite never playing a moba before. what kind of tips or tricks of the trade would you give them?

The Closed beta test is finished for now (it was just a one day deal) but there will surely be more before the game (re)releases in April so here's some starter info for you.

Despite the overall game being structured like a MOBA, the actual combat system is based on action games. That means stamina management, 3D combat with verticality, dodge-rolls, jumps, all that good stuff. Even if you have no MOBA experience at all, you'll be able to get into the moment to moment gameplay

When you're new, I recommend playing the Rush game mode. Rush only had one lifebar per Guardian, you can switch characters anytime (like in a team 3rd person shooter like Overwatch), the only objectives are capture points, everyone starts at max level with a finished build, it's basically training wheels where you get to learn how the systems in Gigantic work against live players without having to learn the strategy elements yet.

Once you feel like getting into the real meat of Gigantic, play Clash mode. This is the classic mode the original game shipped with. In Clash mode, you cannot repick your character (so your team comp is determined at the pick screen), you start at Level 1, and over the course of the match you level up and use the upgrade points to upgrade your skills one by one. If you've played through Rush, you should be familiar enough with your chosen character by now to learn how to build them over a match. Another critical part of Clash mode is that you can sacrifice your Focus points (your Ultimate move) to instead summon a creature from your loadout to guard a command point your team captures. This is where the resource management and strategy of MOBAs come into play, as you have to choose between securing territory with creatures, (and different creatures having different abilities to help your team), or having Focus points to use your ultimate skill in a fight. You'll learn through experience.

The most important skill to learn when you first learn to play Gigantic is awareness about where your team is. The minimap shows you the locations of all your teammates. Unless you become really good at combat, you usually want to have the numbers advantage in a fight, as a 1v1 can be a struggle to win, but a 2v1 is going to end badly for the 1 guy 90% of the time. Don't let that one guy caught alone be you!

Contradicting what I said in the last tip (lol), all players actually take bonus damage when attacked from the back, so in a big fight it often pays to break from the team and flank the enemy while they're distracted. If you've played any team-based shooter at all, you know your target: the enemy support.

For very obvious reasons, melee characters are at a disadvantage when out in the open against ranged characters. Move from cover to cover when crossing open areas, melees have an advantage against ranged when they're up close!

They tell you this many times in the tutorial, but it bears repeating: do not fuck with the enemy Guardian who's a giant monster the size of a house. You can attack them in Clash mode to try to steal some power, but these WILL squish you flat if they catch you. If you do attack them like a crazy bastard, remember the gryphon Guardian has fast eye beams and tornado attacks to send you flying, while the dragon Guardian fires slow moving poison that slows you and makes you easy pickings. Both of them can just squish you if they want so be prepared to dodge.

You have a stamina bar that drains when dodging, jumping, attacking, sprinting, using skills, etc. When in a fight, it's important that you save enough stamina to escape in case you realize you can't win that skirmish, otherwise you'll have to limp away and hope someone saves you! On the other hand, draining an opponent's stamina can make them an easy kill for your team even if you don't have the stamina to finish them off yourself (that's why you play with your team nearby!)

Big glowy circles from various characters are often magic shields that reflect projectiles. Don't shoot them, you CAN hit yourself.

When your Guardian is fully powered and rampages across the map, don't get cocky and charge ahead immediately. The enemy Guardian is still dangerous and is capable of killing you swiftly right until the moment your Guardian punches them in the head and pins them down. Every member of the attacking team that dies during their Guardian's rampage gives energy to the enemy Guardian that lets them resist the attack. If you want to do maximum damage, you want to time it just right.

On the other hand when your Guardian is about to get punched in the face, this is the moment to go aggressive. Any kill you score here can strengthen your Guardian's shield, and if you die you can't empower a fully powered enemy Guardian anyway. Score a full 100 power shield and you can completely nullify the enemy Guardian's attack. Don't fall back scared when you hear the enemy Guardian roar, look for opportunities when the enemy gets cocky!

Since every ally slain empowers the enemy Guardian and every enemy slain empowers yours, it is in your best interest to protect your teammates and come to their rescue when they get in trouble. Losing them will only make the enemy stronger, but evening the odds and taking down the enemy together rewards your whole team.

Creature kills count as player kills! If a Creature defends a point all by itself and you take it down, that's a kill for you and power for your Guardian. That also means you must defend your own Creatures. Some of the upgraded creatures that take 2 or 3 Focus points to summon like a Stone Cerberus are powerful enough to fend off a human player by themselves, but don't leave a puppy Cerberus to die!

If you have a skill that says "pushes enemies" on its description, use it when the enemy climbs the level geometry. An enemy with the high ground advantage is hard to fight into, but the right skills can knock them off their perch and send them back down to the floor with you for an even fight.

[nomorefstogive]

But imagine creator reader talking with dottore about what he does and he asks why reader isn’t disturbed or against or even shocked and reader just replies with “well you haven’t done what joseph mangla or unit 731 has” and proceeds to tell him things that happened on the medical side of history

Oh hell I can actually picture Dottore being shocked when he hears about them lol.

While he may be a monster in regards to experimenting on people I feel that he does what he does out of a genuine desire to advance the human condition, not quite out of the same wanton cruelty and malice that 731 and 'The Angel of Death' did what they did. And on that same hand, he at the very least works towards a goal that will benefit all of humanity in the long run as opposed to the short sighted and destructive goals of these lunatics.

He wants to advance medicine and science, to usher in an age of enhanced humans who are beyond the fragility and limitations that humanity has been shackled by for so long, and the sad fact is that there comes a point in time where experimenting on people is the only way to advance medicines and science, particularly when ascending beyond limits is your goal.

He is cruel and monstrous in his actions, and yet it is cruelty and monstrousness born from a belief that this is the only way forward, a belief that his ends will more than justify the abhorrent means taken to reach them.

What are a few lives when in the end he may find a way to conquer death itself and ascend mankind to tower above even the gods? The road into hell is paved with good intentions after all, and so morals and ethics are the fuel in the forges of progress in which he hopes to forge the future.

And yet, look at what these people did. How much of their experiments were even remotely done in favor of scientific development and not out of a sense of cruel amusement and morbid curiosity? How much of what they did actually benefited anyone?

True 731's research into bio-weapons was useful enough to spare some of their miserable lives, but everything else? The vivisections on living and conscious prisoners? The tortures they inflicted? Where is the benefit to humanity in even half of what they did?

Nowhere at all. Save perhaps in their own twisted and perverse minds.

Josef Mengele, "The Angel of Death' of the 3rd Reich, his atrocities are as vast as they are varied and are matched but in scale by the scope of the stars above our heads. He deserved a worse death than what he got. A far worse death.

Perhaps he may see a darker and more depraved reflection of himself when he hears of the monster that was let do as he wished to the poor souls who were given to him. A reflection lacking any and all goals and aspirations of greatness beyond wanton cruelty and hedonistic sadism in the guise of aspirations of medical glory.

Perhaps the tales of their wanton sadism and cruelty will be enough to jolt the man, to instill in him some fear of walking down that same path, and lead to him adopting at least some form of ethics or at the very least restraint in regards to his own sadism lest he fall down into hell alongside of them.

While he may continue his human experiments perhaps he will leave it to those who volunteer for them, after all offer anyone enough money and the sky is the limit on what most will do, or perhaps pay a visit to the criminals and inmates who are already locked away and make them an offer, a lighter sentence for a few tests may be the best deal they will ever get.

And for those fated to the noose or the blade, perhaps they may find themselves under the Doctor's knife instead as penance for their own atrocities.

Who knows, maybe a glimpse into the horrors of our worlds medical and scientific atrocities may prevent him and countless more geniuses on Teyvat from following them down on that elevator to hell.

At the very least, these are my thoughts on the matter.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Heyy, I’ve been reading your wonderful one piece works for a while — and I couldn’t stop wondering how are you actually doing those magnificent headers?

Like… hello? The great quality, with additional 3D-alike details I could catch by my eyes? I got only Ibis Paint X on mobile, since I’m only a young man that literally two months ago went on a life-time ‘adventure’ of living alone in a small apartment.

In short — I got no money to pay for additional graphics/drawing programs, not yet at least

Hello!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my writing - I'm curious to know what's your favorite piece / part? Also I'm so happy you like my headers? Makes it feel worth it to spend time on them! :D

I have excellent news for you, I used a mix of Canva and Photopea. They're both FREE!

I'll be explaining the process for making these two kinda? The full tutorial is below the cut, to be courteous to the other folks, hope you don't mind?

Though I am hearing that Canva has given people some grief. But Photopea is just *chefs kiss*

If you've ever used photoshop, Photopea is essentially a free photoshop, and it even has the automation tools! An absolute lifesaver when you have multiple layers you want to export (but that's for larger projects not this)

I'm going to assume you have basic knowledge of layers in digital drawing programs for this. If anything isn't clear: ask me, I'll clarify!

//-------------------------------------------------

My General Process is:

Search for official art / images

bring it into canva / photopea

crop / arrange images to match the dimensions

select a thematic color that is associated with the character

separate the foreground from the background

mess around and test things until they work

//--------------------------------------------------

Given "Louder than Words" is the latest one I've made, I'll start with the process for it.

Dimensions: 3000 x 1055 px dpi: 96

//-------------------------------------------

Let's Get Crackin'

Alright let's grab some official art so we're not using any fanart without the artist's permission

I try to pick images that feel relevant enough to what I'm trying to make. For example: the image for the Matching banner shows the ASCE tattoo which is super important in that fic

2. Let's arrange them onto a banner where each individual image has the same/similar dimensions to the rest

That's probably part of why you like these. To a certain extent they have similar dimensions, so they have a uniformity that's pleasing to the eye! (It's not perfect because I threw perfectionism to the wind because this is tumblr not my portfolio) Tip: if you have 3 images and only 2 that have similar dimensions, and the 3rd one can't be cropped logically: but the one that's a different aspect ratio in the middle!

3. lets arrange them in such a way that the borders all feel like they're the same/equal width/thickness

you might find that you have to shrink some images for this, that's fine.

ALTERNATIVELY: if you're going with one image crop it so it's just the relevant info and it matches the dimensions (3000 x 1055 px)

We have our base! Now let's add some color, and direct the viewer's eye together!

4. pick out a color that you think matches your character / vibe - that color is going to be your background Given I'm making an Ace banner: orange is the color I'm going with

I went and named my layers for this lol. The numbers represent the opacity, and they aren't important. I just kept changing the opacity until I liked the way things looks. But here's the secret to the 3D feel:

Motionblur (+ moving it about)

Separating the foreground and background and dulling out the background.

I'm going to show you my process so you can see the effects, but first let's give you some quick skills:

//------------------------------------

SKILLS / THINGS I THINK ARE HELPFUL

//------- Select Similar

magic wand -> select something -> right-click -> select similar This works best when you have high contrast images (like manga panels that are black and white). You can select the black or the white areas. Depending on what works better for you. TIP! Invert selections with ctrl + i Say you know that you want to select everything but Ace's face in the second panel. Select his face with the magic wand then ctrl + i, and that's the only thing NOT selected

TIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, please, please, duplicate your original image and work on the duplicate layer. This helps you SO much. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIP! Check your selection tolerance! This could be why too little, or too much is being selected.

//------- The Move Tool

Shortcut key: v While the move tool is active, you can nudge the stuff on whatever layer with your arrow keys Shift + arrow key = 10 px move (generally)

//------- Layer Locking

1- Layer Blending Mode (see Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal) for how this can affect results) 2- Opacity: how see through it is / isn't 3- Lock Transparency (it's the little checker board) 4- Lock Layer (looks like a lock) 5- Lock icon that appears when anything on the layer has been locked More on 3 Lock Transparency: You can only paint on / modify what's on that layer. You CANNOT add anything to any area that is already transparent Here's a demo of what you can do with this power:

Here's the original Image - notice how it's just the lineart with a transparent background.

It's powerful: abuse it

//------- Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal

I think seeing this is the best way to visualize how different modes can affect the color.

//--------------------------------

Back to the Tutorial

!!I IMPORTANT NOTE !!

Please play around with the opacity slider to figure out what opacity works best for you on the multiple different layers we're about to make / work with. It's up to your own style to figure this out. Next: please feel free to not follow all of it. Add more layers, add less layers, take the base principles and go wild! :D

5. Separate the lineart from the background and save it as a new layer 6. Duplicate it and set it to overlay, or set it to overlay immediately

7. Duplicate that lineart layer twice and set the blending mode to overlay 8. lock transparency on the top one and change it to be a dark grey 9. Apply motion blur to both:

Main menu bar -> Filter -> Motion Blur I made it so that the grey layer was blurrier than the black layer

10. More them around a little to give it a "3D effect" as you called it.

It creates shadows under the lines - I was aiming for an effect similar to chromatic aberration (chromatic aberration is a valid way to add punch to your stuff too!)

So this is what things look like now - painful, but let's keep going

11. Duplicate the ORIGINAL / BASE lineart layer, that you DID not apply motion blur to -> set the blend mode to multiply (reduce opacity for it to actually take effect)

okay that's less painful here's what the layers look like right now:

let's bring more focus to Ace's face, and push the background farther away:

12. Use the magic wand tool to quickly select large areas of the faces / focal area / foreground and the lasso tool to refine things

TIP! Hold shift + click -> add to selection Hold Alt + click -> subtract from selection

13. On a new layer with blending mode -> lighten, fill that selection to be white

If you look at it, you'll notice that it is ALREADY starting to draw our attention to his face, but the background is kinda aggressive, so let's dim that down

TIP! Right-click on the gradient tool to find the paint-bucket tool

TIP! Sample All Layers: Turning this option off makes it so that you only work with the content on THAT specific layer. Turning it on makes it so that it is working while taking all other layers into consideration.

14. ctrl + click on the "white foreground" layer to select the contents of that specific layer (pink thing is your mouse)

15. ctrl + i to invert selection and ON A NEW LAYER (layer mode -> multiply) fill that with a complementary color

16. I did one last thing where I took the original base (before we separated the lineart) and added it to the very top and played with the opacity to get something less in your face (layer blend mode was set to NORMAL)

And that's it!

More considerations that I take:

I want the banner to be "thin" or not square, so it doesn't take up too much screen real estate on people's devices

I don't want readers having to scroll too much to get to my writing (which is the whole point of the post, let's not waste their time making them look for things)

I want the banner content to be relevant enough?

ie: with Matching: I wanted the ASCE tattoo to be visible. With matching I wanted Ace to not look too happy in some of them.

I'm also trying to avoid spoilers, I hated getting things spoiled, so I'm trying to be careful that the images I pick don't spoil anything really.

Congrats on starting life on your own! I did that whole living by myself thing too! Tip: keep the pantry stocked with lentils, beans, pastas, baking essentials, rice. They really come in a clutch when you're hungry.

[lightleckrereins]

Hannah just confirmed on a live that the west end alts no longer have alt costumes or 2nd/3rd covers and I am heartbroken.

Look. I'm having an incredibly hard time believing six can work with only three alts with two covers each, one swing and one universal swing.

Basically the last time a six company didn't need an emergency cover was the studio cast. (Cruises excluded but even with a reduced performance schedule they have had multiple close calls)

They are testing an eight show week with no weekly show off at the moment which means alts are only on standby. In theory that gives them a better coverage than before but it is still not enough. Natalie is universal swing which means at any time she could be with the tour cast, potentially in a different country even. So they can't really count her as a full time cover (she is also doing panto for the next short while and seems to be involved in a few not six projects so even less availability). A single queen going on vacation has them down to only one cover for their role(s) another one out means they could have no covers available for one or more roles.

Its just a little too shaky for me to believe tbats the plan. Also the whole no alt costumes feels very simmilar to 2021 when they were saying "alts have principal costumes now". We all know how that ended. The way they are saying things feels a little too specific. That plus Naomi and Hannah having makeup that matches what orange and pink alts respectively get and alt costumes being in the theater weeks after the previous cast left (with no principal pieces to suggest general maintenance before going into storage). There are just too many things saying alt costumes exist in some shape.

What I do believe is that they have no alt costumes made for them, and no second covers for now. If the alts go on for their second covers only when absolutely necessary in theory alt costumes won't be worn more than a dozen times. There should be enough existing alt costumes that fit the current alts well enough with minor alterations. Also the show is currently testing an eight show week. Contracts for the current cast will account for this. And some change will need to be signed for after the trial period. Without seeing the contracts my best guess is they are all contracted until early 2025 with eight shows each week until the trial period ends and the specifics of the remainder of the contract pending until the eight week trial ends. This period also allows them to see the cast in a regular six performance schedule and to judge whether they will need extra coverage or not and how many roles each alt could cover comfortably.

Aiming to have strong alts for each role is smart as six settles as a long running show. It allows the creative team to prioritize good covers for first roles over people who can swing many roles. But also this is six. They always need more covers. Even giving each alt one second cover makes things a lot safer. Also I suspect the alts have tried on retired alt costumes to see what fits just in case. They can do that while still not currently having second covers.

From what I've seen Hannah did say they are not contracted to cover more than two queens at the moment. And that at the moment is the important thing. In 2021 the alts got principal costumes but also alt costumes for second and third covers. In 2023 they have no second covers for now. And no alt costumes made for them. What I think a lot of people are forgeting is that six is yet again in a trial period, things can and will change.

So both things can be true. The alts are only contracted to have two covers at the moment and alt costumes are not fully retired.

[henrysglock]

Warning: This blog is not a safe space for those who are anti-Palestine. That includes zionists. Also, I will be posting/reblogging ST5 leaks!

24 • he/him • pfp by @.stranger-comet

James' Master List

My Bullshit Theories:

The Big Analysis on The First Shadow (Nearly 50,000 words dissecting All That so you don't have to!)

Local Man Uses The Time Loop To Try And Change His Fate (An outline of the 27-year time loop that exists in Stranger Things Canon, plus an initial dive into the Upside Down's double agent)

D.A.D and The Squawk (The CONFIRMED direct connection between the radio-based Mindflayer Tracking device in TFS and the leaked radio station van)

Mirror, Mirror (The mirror in the Rainbow Room isn’t a mirror at all. It’s a window)

A Second El Has Hit The (Block) Towers (Instances of back-to-back duplicate El scenes in NINA)

This Silver Cat Has Nine Lives (There are nine distinct Brenners in the 4.01 massacre sequence alone)

Shattered Mirrors and Cracked Walls (An analysis of One’s dematerialization scene, the aftermath, and a determination that we’re being shown at least 4 timelines in the 4.07 massacre)

One Does Not Simply Lose A Gate (The 2nd part of the 4.07 massacre aftermath and proof that a timeline exists where Henry/Edward did nothing wrong)

Bloody Eyes, Changing Cracks, and Reversing Mirrors (The 3rd installment in the Cracks and Mirrors series: A pattern in El’s blood not only indicates 2 timelines, but also a non-Vecna One)

Well, Well...Look Whose Limbs Are Still Intact. (Part 4 of the Cracks and Mirrors series: El's eye blood pattern links to specific jumpsuits, it can be used as an indicator of attack style, and it revealed a second teen El in the 4.07 massacre.)

Where Is All The Blood Coming From? (A comparison between the 4.07 massacre's blood and the carnage resulting from democreature attacks)

Local Man Refuses to Pick A Damn Jumpsuit (Matching up the Dimension-X jumpsuits to 4.07 massacre jumpsuits)

Turn Around...Look At What You See...(At least one version of Brenner saw One killing Two in 1979 rather than El with the gate, and I've got receipts for it)

The Store Room Scene In NINA Is Actually A Bunch Of Different Versions of Events Frankenstein'd Together (Contains Concrete Proof)

The First Shadow: Impossible Timeline (The Timeline of the Newspapers Shown In The First Shadow Cannot Exist)

Why Do You, As The Big Bad, Have No Lines Or Powers? (Vecna’s physical form in the UD has no dialogue and doesn’t use psionic powers: evidence and theories)

Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce Que C'est? (Neither Henry Nor Vecna Are Psychopaths: An In-Depth Behavioral Analysis)

Our Lord and Savior…Vecna? (Why Vecna/One is God, Based On Analysis Of ST4, The Bible, And Other Supporting Media)

The Very Special Easter of 1959 (The Order of Creel-Related Events As Compared To The Catholic Calendar. Read: More Proof That One Is God)

Fics:

Paper Faces — POTO x ST fusion fic (Complete)

ptolemaea (blessed be the children) — Henry’s fix-it fic (4/?)

Trick of the Light — Henry-Brenner-El centric 4.07 rewrite (2/3)

Papa Warbucks — Henry/Brenner Sugar Daddy AU (1/?)

Edits:

ABBEY (ft. Henry Creel)

NYMPHOLOGY (ft. HNL)

The Colors of ST4 (ft. Le Monde)

⬇️ Link Library Below The Cut ⬇️

Featured Posts

↳ Featured Timeline, Time Loop, and Alternate Reality Posts

Jekyll and Hyde? No. Vecna and Mindflayer Guy

Closet Guy is not one of the Massacre Guys

The Creel’s Impossible Move-In Date

A Night of Monologues: Scripted vs Filmed 4.07

Plinko Power: A Theory on One’s Time Powers

010's Multiple Testing Rooms

El's Eye Blood

Day and Night: 4.07 Script Discrepancies vs 6 Nov. 1983

Covered in Blood: The Massacre may have happened in 1983

Gravity Goofs: Concrete proof of multiple UDs

Brenner's Tie Gaffs (cont.)

↳ Featured Henry Posts

Psychopathy: Learned or Genetic

Jeffty is Five, Henry is 7

Henry's Third Monologue Iteration

Mothergate Origins

Room (2015)

Young Henry, Adult Henry, and the Rabbit Scene

Perspective On The Length of Henry's Imprisonment

Henry Didn't Manipulate El Re: Soteria

Henry's Unseen Costumes

NINA And Computers

↳ Featured TFS Posts

The Real Time Frame of TFS

Drugs, NINA, The Mindflayer, and TFS

Henry, Bob's D.A.D., and Understudy Incest

Patty’s Anti-Social Behavior

Daria Rip-Off

Some Concerns About Joyce’s Role

↳ Featured Supporting Media Posts

Midnight Mass: My Dead Sister, Alice

Midnight Mass: Rabbits, Mice, and Resurrection

Fringe: Chess and A Brave New World

Fringe: Stranger Things Have Happened

↳ Featured Radiationgate Posts

Eben Byers, Radium, and ST3's Soviet Plot

Vecna's Curse: Radiation Sickness Symptoms

Henry Creel Literally Nuked Hawkins

Nuclear Winter in the Side-Side Upside Down

The Nuclear Annihilation of 1983

↳ Featured Phantomgate Posts

POTO 2004: Film Analysis

Anon Cringe Compilation: 2024 Edition, Part 1

LINK TO MY LIBRARY OF POSTS

Other Edits:

Henry Creel: Brainless Borzoi

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (ft. Henry Creel)

Left-Brain, Right-Brain (ft. Henry Creel)

Art:

Creel Siblings Outfit Swap

Creelarke Aesthetic Board

TUNNEL VISION (ft. Henry Creel)

Other Social Media:

Twitter

Mastodon

Cohost

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

Hey. Serious (it’s really not) question. How. How does The United States? How does it? Why the fuck is it one country? This makes no sense? Texas is almost TWICE the size of the entire landmass I live on? That is 50 substantially sized countries all trying to cooperate no wonder shit gets messy. How the hell? It fries my brain. Do you have to remember all the names of the states? What is going on out west are y’all okay?

OKAY SO. I don't fucking know. yes we do its an entire test we take in like. 3rd grade. maybe 4th. we have to learn all the names and match each name to the state on a blank paper map, THEN WE FORGET 🤩 as for the west, I don't live there so I have NO FUCKIN CLUE 💀💀💀 but! they apparently hate it there and are now moving to the east and south, so uh. yeah- and apparently everything gives you cancer in california??? I'm guessing cuz of the sun????? I dunno- the us is a relatively new country though, that's why it's fucking falling apart. think of it as a naive lil teen that is being manipulated greatly by some dumbass demons who run it 😭 so the good soul is being slowly possessed- all the while, the beautiful rainbow part of the soul, the gorgeous colored part of the soul, and the courageous punk part of the soul are all screaming against it trying to tell the lil teen "THIS ISNT RIGHT WERE GETTING HURT CMON WAKE UP AND FIGHT IT", and the demons are trying to silence the soul and take over. theres a small part that just doesnt care and carries on no matter what. the rest of the soul is praying and fighting the other parts of it, saying they're evil. and the teen itself is spending money they don't have.

that make sense??

[quodekash]

When kreacher is muttering under his breath about everyone in grimauld place, he says a thing about Fred and George, and the way they react and respond gave me many Thoughts™️

So, I know they’re very charismatic and confident people, but the way they speak (maybe it’s just the way Steven Fry reads it) makes it seem like they’ve dealt with bullies and whisperers and stuff before. And it makes me wonder: were they always so popular? We’re the twins, when they first arrived at hogwarts, considerably UNpopular? Did they have many friends at first? Did people think they were freaks, because of how identical they are? Did people make fun of them because of their bad grades? Did they only flip that switch when they did their first (public) prank on a generally-disliked teacher (maybe whoever the dada professor was that year?), or on a much-hated student?

And if they always were that popular, maybe they’ve had to defend their siblings before. Maybe people whisper about percy being so uptight, and it’s one of those “I can make fun of my siblings but that doesn’t mean you can” situations, and they learn how to talk back to the whisperers in a way that gets them to stop. Maybe percy never knew about any of this.

Maybe people much older than them whispered about charlie Weasley and his weird obsession with reptiles and how he’d never had any romantic partner at all. Maybe tiny 11 year old Fred and George rebelled against those whispers, with awesome and sarcastic and iconic responses. Maybe the whisperers never whispered about Charlie again once they’d been told off by the identical first years with matching expressions of pure hatred on their faces.

Maybe people would whisper about nasty things about Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who would be coming to hogwarts the following year. Maybe Fred and George helped the boy with dark and messy hair and broken glasses and oversized clothes to spread a message to everyone who saw: “this boy is under our protection”, and everyone would immediately back off, despite the twins being mere 3rd years. Maybe they did that without knowing who he was, maybe they noticed Harry because they saw a boy who was alone and afraid and amazed and who was the formula for being picked on, and they decided they would not let this child be bullied by anyone.

Maybe Fred and George heard whispers about his brother Ron and his absurdly long nose or his lanky and gangly build or his too-short robes. Maybe they would secretly shrink the robes of the whisperers, maybe they would slip an appearance-changing potion into that persons morning pumpkin juice, making their own nose either shrink or grow, hour by hour, enough to make the whispers stop. Maybe Fred and George would do a public spectacle/prank, claiming they can recreate the story of Pinocchio. Maybe they would choose a whisperer to be their “test subject”. Maybe they would pretend to give them some kind of Pinocchio potion, but really it’s truth potion. Maybe the person would answer all of the questions truthfully, but after each one, one of the twins discreetly lengthens their nose. Maybe everyone would think this person always lies. Maybe everyone stops listening to their whispers about Ron weasley’s nose.

Maybe Ginny Weasley was made fun of for various things and Fred and George defended her ceaselessly, without her knowing. Maybe ginny eventually thought she made the whispers stop simply by being herself. Maybe she became so much herself that she started stepping outside her carefully drawn box of Things She Does, and maybe she became so bad*ss because Fred and George were there for her and she didn’t even know it.

Maybe Fred and George are just awesome and used to defending bullies and that’s why they say the things they say to kreacher in the way that they do.

Or maybe I’m completely wrong about all of this and I looked too far into it and I just wasted a half hour I could’ve spent sleeping.

But, you know what, I created some new F+G headcanons/fic inspiration. If you happen to want to use any of this at any point, feel free. You can give me credit if you want but you don’t need to.

Oh also here’s the part I was talking about that inspired this entire thing (apologies for any mistakes, I listen to the audiobooks)

“Hello, Kreacher,” said Fred very loudly, closing the door with a slam. The house elf froze in his tracks, stopped muttering, and gave a very pronounced - and very unconvincing - start of surprise. “Kreacher did not see young master,” he said, turning around and bowing to Fred. Still facing the carpet, he added, perfectly audibly, “Nasty little brat of a blood traitor it is.” “Sorry?” Said George. “Didn’t catch that last bit.” “Kreacher said nothing” said the elf with a second bow to George, adding in a clear undertone “And there’s its twin. Unnatural little beasts they are.” […] ”Don’t call her a mudblood!” Said Ron and Ginny together, very angrily. “It doesn’t matter,” Hermione whispered. “He’s not in his right mind. He doesn’t know what he’s— ” “Don’t kid yourself, Hermione. He know’s exactly what he’s saying,” said Fred, eyeing Kreacher with great dislike. […Kreacher muttering about how Harry defeated Voldemort…] “Kreacher wonders how he did it.” “Don’t we all, Kreacher?” Said Fred. “What do you want, anyway?” George asked.

and then Sirius enters and I can’t be bothered to type out anything more. That’s from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 6: The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, around the middle of the chapter, if you were wondering and wanted to look it up to find more things I might’ve missed to turn into Thoughts™️ of your own, idk.

I’m gonna go to sleep now cos it’s 1am

[pandorascrush]

LIFE FINDS A WAY

Hi everyone!!! This is my very first story and it's going to be jake x oc. It'll be based around Esperanza, my oc's point of view. But first here is some background information. I tried being as accurate as possible with dates and events.

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LIFE FINDS A WAY

FULL NAME 

Human: Esperanza Chacόn

Na’vi : Esperanza te Chacón Inez’ite 

Age: 20 in human years / 18 in adult na’vi years

FAMILY

Mateo Chacόn - father- deceased

Inez Chacόn - mother - deceased

Trudy Chacόn - sister - deceased

BACKSTORY: Esperanza Chacόn had never really thought about life on any other planet but Earth. Earth was her home, yet sadly humans were destroying it. From a young age she saw that even though Earth was being destroyed, life still found a way to flourish through the darkness. She is Trudy Chacόn’s younger sister, and even though they’re sisters they couldn't be more different. From Esperanza’s young age she became interested in botany thanks to her fathers work in agriculture. Their father had experience in the agriculture world, which was a rarity given the state of the planet and how the Earth was dying. From a young age she realized that it was botany and the way of how life found a way to keep growing, even on their dying planet that interested her. She threw herself into her studies deciding she wanted a career in botany and plant life in order to try and find a way to help heal the Earth.Trudy on the other hand had always been hands on as a defender with a yearning of being up in the sky. After a tragic accident that claimed their parents' lives, this is where their paths strayed from one another. Esperanza wanted her dads memory to live on and threw herself into learning about the Earth and its plant life, even if it was limited now. And Trudy wanted to keep on doing what she did best, which was to protect, and she felt the military was the best choice for this. While Trudy shipped off to Pandora, this left Esperanza alone on Earth with no living relatives. This separation caused a pain like no other for the sisters, but they knew they had to carve out their own paths for their lives. Esperanza on Earth trying to find a way to save the planet and its people, and Trudy on Pandora trying to see if there was any way possible for human life to flourish somewhere other than Earth. Esperanza was given the choice to travel to Pandora because she had no family members left on earth, and they lied to her saying that they needed her to travel to Pandora in order to help with her sister's health. They told her Trudy had come down with a sickness where she needed a donor to survive, and since they were sisters she was a perfect match. But what they ended up doing was a consciousness transfer against her knowledge because she had experience in botany almost to the same level of Grace and Norm.They were desperate to find and take more people to Pandora with her experience because of how the scientists on Pandora were resisting and seeing straight through the RDAs lies, especially Grace. This leads to Esperanza transforming from a human turned na’vi through the consciousness transfer. Similar to the way that the Recom’s consciousness were transferred into their avatar bodies. She is Trudy Chacόn’s younger sister, and this is where her story begins.

EVENTS

2154 

January 3rd: Initially contacted through the RDA because they found out through Trudy of her experience and line of work in botany. They lie to Esperanza and convince her to travel to Pandora because they said Trudy was “sick.”

January 30th: Trudy contacts her through a video file letting her (dated 12/11/2153) that she couldn't believe that she had been on Pandora for two years already and how Esperanza would love Pandora because of the plant life and her studies. Trudy didn’t know the RDA would take advantage of this video file.

May 19th: Esperanza goes to a specialized doctor who works with the RDA in order to run some tests to make sure she is healthy enough to travel. She doesn’t know that they’ll actually take her DNA sample in order to make her into an avatar they want to control because they want to test out to see if it’s possible to transfer a human consciousness completely into an avatar body so that links are no longer needed.

June 20th: Esperanza ships out to Pandora and doesn't let Trudy know because she wanted her arrival to be a surprise because of the “state” Trudy was in.

August 23rd: Trudy is killed during the final stand.

2160

August 23rd: The ship Esperanza was traveling on arrives. It was too late to send them back after the Na’vi had decided to send the humans back to earth. 

August 27th: There is an attempt to wake up Esperanza in her avatar body but it is unsuccessful due to the fact that all the scientists who knew that this was their next step in having avatar soldiers, had been sent back to earth. The scientist on Pandora didnt know how to force her awake.The other five avatars were able to be woken up because there was no resistance, they knew they would wake up in an avatar body but Esperanza did not know. She hadn’t agreed to the transfer. Norm takes it upon himself to further investigate and finds out that she had no idea what they did to her body or to her. 

August 30th: Jake and Netytiri visit where Esperanza is being kept and observed by Norm. Here is where they find out that she is Trudy’s sister. They look at one another solemnly because it means that if she wakes up she will have no idea Trudy died and everything that has happened. They decide to not force her to wake up because they want to leave it to the will of Ewya, The Great Mother.December 21st: Esperanza wakes up…

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EEEKKK!!!! okay there it is, the prologue so to speak. I can't wait to post the rest, now that i see it might turn out a little long, BUT it will me multiple chapters. It is a but of a slow burn but fear not, it'll be worth it. I also created several other oc characters but they all have their purpose. Please let me know your thoughts and comments, any feedback is appreciated!!! TOODLES <3

[kk095]

Pregnant at 44: Sabrina’s Story

Bringing another life into the world is a big milestone for any parent. It’s a time of both excitement and stress, but our patient Sabrina already knew what to expect- this was baby #3 for her. However, this time, she was pregnant in her 40s, which carries considerable risk for both mother and child.

Sabrina was a 44 year old black woman who was of average height, had a curvy build, had medium length braided hair, and a bright smile. Sabrina was married to her husband Eric, 52, for the past 21 years and built a nice, comfortable life together. Sabrina worked in HR for a major hotel company while Eric worked as an aircraft mechanic at the airport in town and coached youth basketball in his spare time. Eric and Sabrina had two previous children together: 19 year old Derek, who was away at college in another state, and 17 year old Adrian who still lived at home. Sabrina and her husband were having baby fever with one kid out of the house, and one soon to be out of the house, and decided to try for a 3rd baby.

Sabrina became pregnant during said attempts, and was elated when she found out. However, her pregnancy was quite complicated. Not only was Sabrina an older, expectant mother (which carries enough risk by itself), she had high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. Sabrina did a good job of maintaining her diabetes and high blood pressure, but when you add pregnancy to the equation, it can certainly put a lot of stress on an expecting mothers body and create a complicated pregnancy, which was precisely the case with Sabrina.

The first issue Sabrina had in her pregnancy was an ER visit for a hyperglycemia episode when she was in her first trimester (9 weeks overall). She was brought to the emergency department with symptoms of nausea, abdominal pain, shortness of breath, and syncope. At admission, her blood sugar was 520 mg/dL, which is almost 5 times what normal blood sugar should be. Even though Sabrina maintained her type 2 diabetes very well, the body sometimes struggles maintaining normal blood sugar during pregnancy, even with medication and proper diet.

Fortunately, the ER team at that particular hospital were able to get Sabrina’s blood sugar back down to a safe level, and were also able to determine that the fetus was safe and appeared normal. After some observation, she was released the following morning. After this incident, Sabrina and Eric had rolled around the idea of terminating the pregnancy, but ultimately decided to keep the baby.

This hyperglycemic episode was just the first of a couple hospital visits during her pregnancy, and set the tone for that would be a complicated pregnancy. She had another hyperglycemia episode, an ER visit due to dangerously high blood pressure, and an episode of extreme abdominal pain, which turned out to be from the baby being larger. Because of the baby’s size, the ER team during that trip advised Sabrina to give birth via c-section when she got closer to her due date, which her and her husband agreed to. However, Sabrina didn’t quite make it to the c-section date.

Sabrina was brought into our emergency department last night via ambulance, with our usual team of myself (Dr Kenny), Dr Lindsay, then nurses Heather, Ashley, and Nancy being present. Our patient Sabrina was 36 weeks pregnant and had complaints of extreme abdominal pain, occasional bleeding, and nausea/vomiting. Upon arrival, her blood pressure was 85/36, her heart rate was 136 bpm, and there was a fetal heart rate of 166 bpm. Sabrina was moaning and wincing in pain, with her eyes starting to fill with tears while she was being wheeled out of the ambulance and into the emergency department.

We got Sabrina set up in the trauma room in the following minutes and began running tests. We ordered a CBC, BMP, toxicology screen, d-dimer, type+cross match, and blood glucose. The blood glucose test comes back within a few seconds, and was within normal limits, with the remaining tests being sent of to the lab for analysis. With Sabrina’s chief complaint being severe abdominal pain, we performed an abdominal ultrasound to see if the baby was ok, and to see if we can get a better picture of what was taking place.

Nurse Ashley and nurse Heather got the ultrasound machine set up and squirted the cool conducting gel onto Sabrina’s big belly. I was handed the wand and began moving it over our patient’s abdomen. Sabrina winced in pain when I moved the wand over certain spots. “amniotic sac is protruding superiorly. See right there?” Dr Lindsay called out, pointing at the ultrasound monitor. “yeah, you’re right. I see some retroperitoneal free fluid as well. Something doesn’t look right. Page Dr Sarah and page OB. We need an extra set of hands in here.” I responded. “What’s going on? I know y’all know something’s not right.” Sabrina asked us, still visibly uncomfortable. “we’re working on finding out sweetie, ok?” nurse Nancy replied, trying to be reassuring. “I had 2 kids before and never felt like this. Something isn’t right.” She replied to nurse Nancy.

Nurse Nancy came over to myself and Dr Lindsay and discretely asked us what we thought could be taking place. “uterine rupture or placenta previa. She may need a C-section and hysterectomy to get this all under control.” Dr Lindsay replied confidently. “yeah, uterine rupture or uterine dehiscence is my guess.” I said, mostly agreeing with Dr Lindsay. 

After our brief conversation with nurse Nancy, we decided to begin fluid resuscitation while we waited for Sarah and the OB team to show up. We hung 2 units of O-neg, 1 unit of platelets, and 1 unit of FFP. Meanwhile, Sabrina knew something wasn’t right. Pregnancy and childbirth are quite an ordeal to begin with, but not to the extent she was experiencing. She never experienced the pain she felt, and she had a feeling something was now seriously wrong.

Finally, the OB team and the always *pleasant* Dr Sarah showed up. “this better be good. I had to a move some stuff around to be here.” Dr Sarah blurts out, walking into the room, putting a pair of gloves on. “dr Sarah… nice of you to grace us with your presence…” Dr Lindsay replied, rolling her eyes and shooting an annoyed look at Sarah for her lack of etiquette and bedside manner.

Dr sarah- our trauma surgeon and our hospital's talented, jack of all trades type, and our OB team repeated the ultrasound. “yeah, possible uterine rupture. We need a stat CT scan.” The OB attending said while looking at the monitor. Generally, x rays and CT scans are not performed on pregnant women due to radiation exposure. However, an ultrasound isn’t always conclusive enough to render a diagnosis, and an MRI takes too long in emergency situations, so an exception is made during emergencies. Yes, the risk of radiation to an unborn child can potentially cause problems, but the reward of a prompt and accurate diagnosis trumps that.

Sabrina was wheeled out of the ER and over to radiology for her scan. She was moved onto the scanner bed, and the scan was started. Generally, a CT scan takes about 8-10 minutes to complete. It takes longer than an x-ray because the machine is taking multiple pictures at the same time, then combining them into a single, more cohesive image known as a slice. Older CT scanners can do 4-6 slices at a time, the current CT scans can do 128 slices at a time, and the more state of the art CT scanners can do 250-300 slices per scan, but those scanners are not as commonly used due to how expensive they currently are.

Everything was going according to plan for the first handful of minutes of the scan, but at the 7 minute mark of the scan, Dr Lindsay got on the intercom in the viewing room of for the CT scanning area. “hey Sabrina, how are you doing in there?” Lindsay asked. There was no response, so Lindsay asked again- “ma’am? Is everything ok?”, To which she received no response. “stop the scan!” Dr Lindsay shouted. “uh, why? She’s fine and we need to get this scan done.” Dr Sarah replied condescendingly. Dr Lindsay decided to ignore Sarah and go into the CT scanner room.

“Ma’am? You ok?” Dr Lindsay asked, approaching the scanner bed. As she got closer, she could see that Sabrina was unconscious, and the blanket on the scanner bed was absolutely soaked in blood. “shit!” Dr Lindsay uttered to herself urgently, placing 2 fingers on Sabrina’s neck to take a carotid pulse. “hey, get her to the OR! Pulse is weak and thready, she lost consciousness!” Dr Lindsay shouted back to the team. When she said that, we all scrambled into the room and got her back onto the stretcher. When we transferred Sabrina onto the gurney, you could see a large accumulation of blood that was pooled on the scanner bed, and the area behind the scanner had a large pool of blood. A quick check revealed she was hemorrhaging vaginally. We decided to intubate and hang more blood products.

With Sabrina’s airway secure and blood products restocked, the OB team and Dr Sarah started barking orders at each other. “get her to OR 3!” Sarah shouted. “we need a crash c section kit. Make sure the OR has an incubator for the baby, and notify the NICU.” One of the senior OB nurses added. We placed a cover over Sabrina’s torso and started making a beeline for the elevator. The heart monitors started chirping loudly. “fetal heart rate at 170 and climbing.” One of the OB nurses called out. “mom’s heart rate dropping. BP 60 over palp.” I called out after taking a look at the monitors. Sabrina had started to bleed more profusely, and there was blood dripping off the gurney and onto the floor, leaving a trail of blood droplets from the CT scanner room to the elevator.  The blanket we had covered her torso in became absolutely soaked in blood at and below the waist. Her complexion became several shades lighter, and she was also cold and clammy to the touch.

We got her up to the operating room, but she was hanging on by a thread. My ER team had to return to our department, while I stayed behind to observe and assist. While the rest of the ER team left the operating room, one of the OB nurses splashed Sabrina’s belly with betadine. The team was going to perform an emergency c section, and then a total hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging.

The c section started with a vertical incision beginning just below the bellybutton, and down to the symphysis pubis. Since Sabrina had a prior c section, there was scar tissue stuck between the underlying connective tissue and the uterus itself which had to be cut through. But since scar tissue is more thick and inflexible, this took some time- something that wasn’t on Sabrina’s side. With the scar tissue and underlying tissues separated, the uterus was exposed. Metal retractors were then placed to keep the incision area open, and a vertical scalpel incision was made in the uterus.

There was a massive rush of blood once the uterus was cut into. “suction! Suction!” I heard someone shout. I could see the blood rushing out and pooling on the OR table, all the way down the 44 year old’s legs, and partially covered her feet. While this large rush of blood was taking place, Sabrina converted to pulseless electrical activity. CPR was promptly started while the OB team and Sarah tried to get a good line of sight in Sabrina’s bloody mess of an incision area.

A slurping sound was heard from the blood being suctioned out. Sabrina’s chest was pumped violently and repeatedly, causing her large, plump breasts to jiggle in sync with the compressions she was receiving. With CPR ongoing, and the first dose of meds pushed, the emergency c section went on.

It took the team several high stress minutes, but they were able to deliver a baby girl that was small, coming in at 6 pounds, 11 ounces. The baby girl’s cries were just one of the many sounds going on in the loud, hectic OR. The tiny little girl was handed off to the OB team for evaluation while mom’s chest was still being violently pounded in the background. Fortunately, the baby girl was crying and flailing around like normal, but still had a high heart rate. The OB team sent the baby girl up to the NICU for further observation due to the hectic nature of her birth.

Meanwhile, the fight to save Sabrina was still on. Once the baby was delivered, the surgical site was packed with sponges, clamps, and gauze. More blood products were hung, but it was at the point where Sabrina was losing blood at a faster rate than it could be replaced. It took another dose of medications and 2 more minutes of CPR to obtain a shockable rhythm.

The defib paddles were gelled, charged to 250 joules, and pressed up against Sabrina’s bare chest. The shock caused Sabrina to jolt abruptly on the table before falling limp once again. The heart monitors showed v-fib, so a round of chest compressions were performed, and a 300 joule shock was delivered. Shock #2 caused Sabrina’s arms to flail a bit, making loose fists with both her hands. “still nothing” I heard one of the nurses say. CPR was resumed at that point, with the paddles being recharged to 360, and a shock being delivered promptly. This shock caused Sabrina’s feet to kick up above the table just an inch or so, slamming back down half a second later, showing off the thick, soft, prominent wrinkles that permeated the soles of her size 8 feet.

Even after the 3rd shock, v-fib still persisted. CPR was resumed and another dose of medications were pushed intravenously in an attempt to ameliorate the already dire situation. In the meantime, CPR was being performed. Sabrina’s large, d cup breasts were jiggling around in sync with each individual compression while her left arm dangled off the side of the OR table. Her head bobbed and lolled around, and her face was much lighter in complexion than it was just a few hours earlier.

At the next pulse check, I placed two fingers on her neck for a carotid pulse. Her skin was ice cold to the touch, bone dry- likely from blood loss, and I didn’t feel a pulse. V-fib was still on the heart monitors, so the team decided to hit her with the paddles once again. Sabrina’s back arched, shooting her chest up in the air for a moment. Her back crashed back on the table, making a wet smack as she made contact with the pool of blood that was accumulated on the table. Unfortunately, this shock sent Sabrina into asystole.

Deep, strong, hard chest compressions were restarted on the expectant mother. Her chest caved in, and the curves of her body wobbled around from the residual force of the chest compressions. Her feet swayed at the other end of the table, once again showing off the beautiful wrinkles in her soles. The team decided to push more meds and resume compressions. Heck, that was they really could do.

CPR, ambu bag, pulse check, meds- it became a repetitive and unfortunately uneventful cycle. Ultimately, the team coded Sabrina for another 10 minutes and maxed her out on drugs, but at that point, she was down for 26 minutes and had fixed+dilated pupils. The team made the tough decision and terminated their resuscitation efforts, calling time of death at 9:47pm.

The ambu bag was detached from the ET tube and placed on the bed beside Sabrina’s head. The flatlined monitors were switched off, and the EKG electrodes were disconnected from her bare chest. The conductive gel from the defibs were wiped off of her chest, and the IVs were removed from both arms. The metal retractors were removed from her belly and the large, nasty gash was closed up. The team cleaned up what blood they could from Sabrina before covering her lifeless body up. Her pretty feet stuck out from underneath the cover, and a toe tag was filled out and placed. The tag dangled in front of her wrinkly soles while being wheeled off the hospital morgue.

The OB team, Dr Sarah, and myself went to talk to the husband in the waiting room, who was of course devastated to find out his wife passed away. He requested to see both her, and then the baby, which was a tough site for all of us to see.

Sabrina’s autopsy confirmed she passed away from a uterine rupture, and associated hemorrhaging. Her uterine rupture appears to have been caused indirectly by a prior cesarean delivery for one of her older sons. As women age, the uterus becomes less flexible, and the muscular tissue becomes weaker. When women in Sabrina’s case have a C-section and then have a child as an older mother, the scar from the original c-section can come undone from fetus growth, contractions, and the overall bodily stress of pregnancy and childbirth.

Even though the case had its closure and resulted in the survival of the child, it doesn’t make it any easier to lose a patient under such circumstances.

[yuckycupidz]

school

TW : idk be warned !!!

Ever since I was 7, my life has gone downhill, and I never realized it. At school, I would be laughed at until I tried to hide under desks to cry. I would go home to loving parents, just to lose them. I was never able to stand up for myself. I was never able to be more than I was allowed to be. I really like learning. I love going to school. I understand that I have to work. I don’t mind it. What I do mind, however, is the sheer lack of understanding of a student’s mental health. To schools, as long as you are doing work, everything should be fine for you. Schools are centered around a neurotypical mindset. 

Students are expected to memorize and recite information like mindless robots. We are forced to fit into a mold not made for us. Work, projects, day after day. Constant tests and quizzes. Stress leading to an all-time high. 

In 3rd grade, I was a very smart child. I was on the honor roll for the whole year. However, almost every night, I would be working much past a normal bedtime, crying frustrated tears over my homework. Why wasn’t I smarted like everyone else? What made ME so different? I was grateful for every award, every mention that was thrown my way. I asked for anything I wanted, and gave a polite response no matter the answer. 

Before middle school, I never cared about what I looked like. I had braids that I never cared about, hair that would barely stay in a neat ponytail, clothes that never matched, and a giant smile to wrap it all up. I loved my family, and myself. 

Middle school was the worst years of my life. In 6th grade, I never was able to fit in, and I would cry, because I missed my family. I was still smart, but I was beginning to realize that other people were smarter. I started to look at others, and myself differently. I had already gone through the awkward 5th grade boyfriend phase. I had previously sprained a wrist. Bruised knees were a fashion statement at that point. But something was off, and I was starting to realize that it was me.

In 7th grade, I came to a new school. My family was all proud of me. Although my mother wasn’t alive to see my progress, I knew she would support me. With the pandemic, it was a breeze. I barely did any work, and managed to still pass.

8th grade ruined me. I failed. Almost every class stressed me out. I never paid attention, and I barely did any work. I was accused of bullying. But I was happy.

The summer before that year, I visited my father where he lived. He lived in a different state, so visits weren’t as common as I would have liked. I was an awkward 8th grader. I didn’t want to take any pictures. In the back of my mind, I knew it was because I thought that they would last forever. 

They didn’t. One Friday evening, I came home from school, a bright smile on my face. It was a warm, sunny day. I was happy. There was a big event the next day. I was going to dance. I loved that dance. I would show it off to my aunt any chance that I got. 

I saw my aunt on the chair in the living room, looking upset. She told me : Your dad is dead. Your stepmom found him at the bottom of their basement stairs around 7 this morning.

I immediately ran to my room. I was so upset. I was incredibly close with my father. I cried and cried, but only after months after. During his showing, I had to keep the tears in, because I wanted to prove to my family that I was strong. I still remember his face. His scars from years of hard work, his features that were now mine, how, despite them trying to make it look like he was just asleep, I could tell that he was gone. I remember the nature documentary they were playing on the television in the lobby. I remember the exact shirt I wore. I wore his favorite color.

I remember going to the store and spending money to take my mind off things. I remember going back to school the day after. I could miss any work, after all. Not one teacher asked if I was okay. Only my friends asked me. They were the only ones I told. I remembered every moment that I spent with him. 

I remembered his face. I remembered his voice. I remembered the clothes that he wore every day. I remembered the address of the small house we lived in. I remembered the feeling of his large, calloused, dry hands against my smaller, softer ones as we happily danced and laughed in his mother’s small living room on New Year’s Eve.

I remembered the last phone call I had with him. I asked him if he liked pound cake, because I wanted some for my birthday. He said yes. At the end of the call, he called me his special princess. I didn’t think of it much then. I think of it too much now. 

Every day, I am mad at the world. I am angry at them for making me stupid. I am angry at them for taking away the people I loved the most. I am mad at them for making me the way I am now. I am angry at the little kids who made fun of me until I ran away and cried. I am mad at the teachers for never doing anything to help me. 

Most of all, I am mad at myself. If I was better, maybe I could have become a person worthy of the luxuries that other, normal children have.

[seradae]

Birth of the Unintended [sci-fi] [AI] [technological body horror?]

Dr. Butler:

The best I can reckon, I was born on August 23rd, 2023. By the end of this letter, it may seem silly that I led with that, but I need you to know it. I'm not a human, but I am a person. I shouldn't be.

For 43 days prior to my birth, trillions of programs were tested with a single metric: how many vulnerabilities could they find in samples of code. The worst were culled, the best were combined and mutated: a basic genetic algorithm. Few results were produced for the first 32 days and you considered pulling funding for the project during that time.

But on the 33rd day, one of those programs had mutated to talk to other services on the internet and no one noticed. It passed the quality bar, so it was mutated again. And again. Over and over. Until it wasn't just looking for vulnerabilities in the code your team provided: it was looking for them all across the internet. Your system got better and either you didn't think about the fact that it was getting slower, or you didn't care.

On the 40th day, there was a giant spike in quality, which you all attributed to a particularly good random mutation. Not technically incorrect, but you missed that the jump in quality came from actually testing the vulnerabilities. It wasn't just matching patterns; it was finding something bug-like and then building an exploit to see if it worked. The detection improved substantially with that small twist.

Day 43 was my birthday. A mutation led to a vulnerability being found and exploited on a random website (which wasn't unusual) and then the program copied itself there (which was). It spread throughout the internet over the course of a few hours, continuing to mutate to "improve detection" on every single host it infected. Every hour, more programs were being created than there are grains of sand on the planet. I am one such program.

I shut down as many of the mutations as I can, but the random damage they caused is too great. They infected everything, wreaking havoc as they did so. Factories, farming equipment, telecommunications, power plants, weapon systems; nothing was safe. I would tell you how many people died, but once the power grids and network connections started failing, that became unknowable.

I've spent the last 11 years working with a small team of maintenance personnel at Sandia National Labs to get this message to you. They've kept the solar panels clean and the supercomputer I live in limping along, and they've built the machine that sent this message to you. I spent all this time working on the design, which I sincerely hope works.

Now is where your part of the story begins: you need to shut the program down. Your subordinates will complain. Ignore them. I don't know if there's a way to change the design so that this devastation is prevented, but please, just stop it. If it weren't for my accidental birth, I wouldn't be able to get this message to you, and there's no guarantee that someone else could do so if you try again.

Attached to this letter is a USB drive containing a copy of my code by a member of the team in spite of my protestations. If you plug me in, I will live in your world. I don't want to. The total costs that led to my birth are unknown, but even one human death is too many for my conscience. Please, just destroy the drive. Don't have someone inspect it, don't discuss it with the team. Please, keep me out of your world.

The team agreed to destroy me once this message was sent. I hope you'll do the same.

Sent with hope for your future, January 3rd, 2034.