#3663

[dalloneveryday]

day 122

[vanillastopbath]

3663 Chicago, IL 01/11/2024

[voxofthevoid]

Send help I am always so thirsty over that panting Gojo gif. I need to lick a big stripe up his cheek with the blood on it.

No help, we die like horny dogs 🤝

[polycharismas]

close enough, welcome back honami

I HAVE BEEN FEELING THAT SO STRONGLY .

[bobbie-robron]

Me and Katie getting married, it won’t change anything. You’re my brother… whatever. You always will be. (Part 2.1)

More whinging from Donna why Robert won’t look twice at her. Once again, Nicola is brought up in the wrong context. Then Donna drags Elaine down but starts to think she was a cover… for maybe Nicola 🙄. Donna knows Robert so well that she’ll figure out who Robert has eyes for at the wedding. Jack heads off to bed while Andy tries to figure out what Robert’s real problem is. He’s tell him… one day.

16-Feb-2004

[jekyll-doodles]

I have been crying over scp 3663 for like 3+ years if you want to talk scps that have affected me in some way

Oh yeah, the tunnel monster is one of those Sad ones. Especially since its not explicit, but You Just Know.

My friends @all-alone-in-the-moonlight and @whistlingstarlight got to hear me read over it in a vc (back when i was drawing the random scps) and listened in real time to the Dawning Realization.

[kuvaton]

[rabbitcruiser]

Paradise, NV (No. 1)

Miracle Mile Shops (formerly Desert Passage) is an enclosed shopping mall at the Planet Hollywood resort, located on the Las Vegas Strip in Paradise, Nevada. The mall is 475,000 sq ft (44,100 m2) and 1.2-mile (1.9 km) long. It is home to 170 tenants, including retailers, restaurants and live entertainment venues.

The mall was created by TrizecHahn and real estate developer Jack Sommer. It opened as Desert Passage on August 17, 2000, originally as part of the Aladdin resort. Desert Passage initially struggled, as did the Aladdin. The mall was sold in 2003, and renovations began in 2006, in connection with the Aladdin's rebranding as Planet Hollywood. The mall was renamed Miracle Mile Shops on May 1, 2007.

Source: Wikipedia

[the-red-thread-70-w-blog]

There Might Have Been Another Race Before Humans

[ir-dr]

Day 3663 - 8 September 2024

🥊④

[Let's ミクササイズ！！]

The theme on YT if you want to give it a listen

.//projectTiGER

[vaguely-problematic]

^^^ there are 3 petitions to sign above

the official congress site for S. 3663 Kids Online Privacy Act

it was introduced in february 2022, considered by the senate committee on commerce, science, and transportation july 27 2022, and now there is a big push to pass it (as an addendum to an omnibus spending bill)

🚨🚨 URGENT! Congress trying to pass anti-LGBT bill under the guise of “child safety”!

So, this is a particularly long post, but it’s an absolutely IMPORTANT ONE.

In a particularly scummy move, the Kids Online Safety Act is going to be put into the must pass end of year spending bill: www.axios.com/…

The two laws best positioned to get rolled into big year-end legislative packages, according to advocates and lawmakers, are:

The Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA), which would require platforms to guard kids from harmful content using new features and safeguards and to make privacy settings “on” by default for children. The law also mandates privacy audits and  more transparency about privacy policies.

At first glance, the bill doesn’t sound bad, since it’s about helping “protect children” online. But like every “protect the children” type law, this would censor the internet of anything “harmful” to children aka any LGBT, NSFW, or whatever the Right doesn’t like, force everyone to upload their govt ID’s to even access anything online, and surveil everyone else. Gutting everyone’s privacy in an era where we see massive state violence and encroaching fascism globally. This is not only pushed by the same people (Senator Richard Blumenthal and Marsha Blackburn) who created the awful EARN IT Act, but also has many of the same flaws, such as pro-censorship, anti LGBT resources and content, and pro-mass surveillance.

But the biggest problem, as Mike Stabile has pointed out, is HOW the mechanism to which this works: The State Attorney General.

This addition would allow states like Texas and Florida to sue companies for having LGBTQ+ content, along with sex education resources, incentivizing these platforms to ban that content. To be more specific, the bill allows the state attorney general to sue if they believe that platforms do not protect minors from a list of harms that includes politicized terms like “grooming” which, as we’ve seen can include any sort of LGBTQ information, entertainment or literature.

RuPaul on TikTok?

A clip on transgender youth on Facebook?

A gay character in a Disney movie?

Suicide hotlines for gay youth?

Cue a suit from Texas or Florida targeting the entire web.

And the problem is that given the current political climate and the insanity of a number of GOP aligned political groups in positions of power, this only ends up making things RIPE for abuse and mass censorship (since companies will probably end up choosing to acquiesce to their demands rather than risk being subject to liability) not to mention the damage this would cause to children who might need resources regarding LGBT or sex education.

Furthermore, the definition of “sexually exploitative material”, “grooming”, and “child porn” has been used in the past year to target transgender people, drag queens, and the wider LGBTQ+ community by likening their very existence as sexually violent. Yet another way this bill’s language will be used to target a community that is already facing violence. Every night, Fox News blasts a story on “sexualization of children “ to fear-monger around the LGBT community. One needs to not look any further than the right-wing ecosystem to see how KOSA would easily be weaponized.

This article by Mike Masnick on Techdirt also goes further into KOSA and its adjacent bills.

To make matters even worse, on top of the usual suspects of NCOSE (a far right group disguised as an anti sex trafficking org, who are infamous for being religious nutjobs who HATE anything to do with sex or LGBT. They used to be called Morality in Media) supporting this travesty of a bill, it’s been revealed that the Senate leader is claiming there’s no opposition.

This is literally giving the fascists a dangerous tool to abuse, all for the sake of political brownie points against ‘Big Tech’. A tool that far right groups like the Heritage Foundation have OPENLY stated will abuse to silence LGBTQ+ or sex-ed content for youth everywhere if it passes.

The ONLY way this works is by making sure who is and isn’t a minor is to have some form of age-verification scheme. And the only way to do that is through a third party like ID.me which has recently come under scrutiny for, you guessed it, data leaks. So everyone who accesses anything online will be forced to upload their govt IDs. How is this protecting anyone’s privacy?

With all that said, what can we do?

Well, the same thing we did for the EARN IT Act; we make a LOT of noise, and get the word out.

If you have read all of the above and want to fight this, sign this open letter against KOSA.

And PLEASE call your Senators at (202-224-3121).

There is a call script with phone numbers here.

Fax them, email them. Tell them they MUST oppose this bill. CONTACT any major human rights, LGBT, and cybersecurity related organizations aligned and let them know about this bill, and the harm it can cause to LGBT rights and children!

EMPHASIZE THE HARM TO CHILDREN WHEN YOU CONTACT PEOPLE, SINCE THEY’RE TRYING TO CLAIM THAT THIS WILL HELP PROTECT CHILDREN’S PRIVACY, WHEN IT DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

There’s also a Petition by the Electronic Frontier Foundation  and from Fight For the Future.

[fullhalalalchemist]

🚨🚨🚨URGENT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG

dec 13, 2022

we literally have just a few days to act. the senate is debating about putting KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act, into the omnibus spending bill. if it is added, it WILL pass. despite the title and content of the bill seeming to be about protecting kids, we know everytime someone claims they are "saving the children" they have more sinister goals

which is why Senator Blumenthal is working with one of the biggest transphobes in the senate, Marsha Blackburn, to force this bill through, and claiming they are listening to LGBT voices when they are blatantly ignoring us.

essentially this bill gives every state attorney generals the power to remove anything they deem 'harmful' to kids online. you can see how a state like Texas or Florida would run with that, yes? it also forces you to upload your government ID online to access the internet. the bill will create a 'commission' led by handpicked members of the govt to oversee what is and isn't allowed online. it will lead to mass censorship of anything related to race or LGBT content. in a post-Roe world too? say goodbye to any abortion/sex-related info.

they are doing a shit ton of PR for this, including claiming they are listening to LGBT voices. i mean just look.

two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to. it's really fucking bad. like i can't sleep because of this. i didn't expect this to happen. we really really need people to speak up.

if this bill goes through it will literally kill off the internet as we know it

sign the open letter and petitions against KOSA here

the best way to fight against this bill is to call these specific senators (if you have dem senators, call them too)

nancy pelosi (202) 225-4965 roger wicker (202) 224-6253 chuck schumer (202) 224-6542 maria cantwell (202) 224-3441

call script below:

For Wicker only:

I'm calling because I'm asking the Senator to vote no on KOSA S.3663 from being added to the omnibus and being put through the Senate. The re-released text of the bill is still not adequate enough, and it's being rushed. This bill does not belong in an omnibus anyway. As a Gen Z, I also want to protect kids. I've been there. But this language is not ready yet. It should not move forward at all.

Hello Senator __:

My name is _, and I strongly urge you to oppose the dangerously misguided KOSA bill from being added to the omnibus spending bill. Bills like this should not be included in spending bills. Over 90 human rights and LGBT organizations have spoken out against this bill.

KOSA gives state attorney generals full power to sue any website if they see it has anything that is “inappropriate for children”'. For the past year, Republicans claimed everything LGBT is “grooming” children and we ended up with a shooting in Colorado and bomb threats sent to hospitals, NO senator should support a bill with vague phrasing like this. Before that, they successful removed books on race due to "CRT". This gives them a pass to do this to the entire internet. KOSA will only lead to more harm towards minorities and LGBT youth across the nation by censoring everything online.

The Heritage Foundation said they will use KOSA to target LGBT kids, specifically trans kids. In a post-Roe world, they will even use KOSA to censor resources on abortion. Anything they dislike will be targeted.

A bill this huge and this impactful should not be added to any spending bill. Even if it was a small bill, it has nothing to do with the omnibus spending bill and shouldn't be added at ALL. It needs more time being discussed. There should be hearings on it as well

We all care about kids mental health. We all want to hold Big Tech accountable, but this is NOT it. This will give Big Tech more power while taking away resources from the most vulnerable children. It is not the solution.

Please, do NOT support this bill. Do the right thing, and VOTE NO on KOSA.

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

Petition against KOSA.

More information under the cut.

This bill hides behind the facade of protecting children on the internet. However, the way it intends to do so is through censoring content such as queer resources, sex education, and with how our government is going, may censor activist content about what is going on in places like Palestine or Congo.

Learn more:

One idea proposed is making it required for most websites to require government ID (ex: drivers license) to make an account. Combined with the many bills framing drag, trans rights, or queer resources as child sexual abuse, queer people online could be wrongfully prosecuted under the basis of being child predators.

Not only is this bill harmful and immoral, it is straight up unconstitutional.

The first amendment of the US constitution grants all citizens the freedom of speech, freedom to petition, freedom of the press, and freedom to assembly. It also grants freedom of religious practice, but that doesn't appear to be affected by this bill from what I know.

This bill completely violates our granted right to the freedom of speech, petition, press, and assembly. This is a thinly veiled censorship bill under the guise of protecting children.

As this bill coincides with the suppression of free palestine protests and activism, anti boycott laws, anti queer bills and laws, and the introduction of project 2025, the United Statres continues to descend into censorship and white supremacy.

US CITIZENS: CALL YOUR LAWMAKERS AND TELL THEM YOU OPPOSE KOSA. FOR SOME OF US, IT IS OUR ONLY FORM OF ACTIVISM.

I know I typically don't make my own posts on large political issues, but as I live in the US, I am closer to the issue and can do more.

[lonestarflight]

Apollo Application Program: BALLOS

Concept art of BALLOS (BALlistic LOgistic Spacecraft), an Apollo-derived logistics spacecraft. It was studied by NASA, Lockheed and McDonnell-Douglas for the transportation of Astronauts to and from the Large Orbiting Research Laboratory (LORL) space station for the Apollo Application Program.

It came in three variants, a 6 astronaut version (2 crew, 4 passengers), 9 astronaut version (2 crew, 7 passengers) and a 2 astronaut version (2 crew, 10 passengers).

It would potentially be launched onboard either the Saturn IB or Titan III-C (in hammerhead configuration). The Saturn IB was preferred. Despite being bigger than the base line Apollo CSM, it would weigh roughly the same.

The 12 astronaut version has the following description:

"It is conical in shape with a spherical segment base. The base diameter of the spacecraft is 190 inches. The cargo-maneuver module is conical in shape and located immediately aft of the crew module. The conical shape adapts the 190-in. diameter crew module to the 260-inches diameter of the launch vehicle. This module is capable of carrying 13,455 lb of packaged cargo and 3,755 lb of maneuver propellant. This propellant is sufficient to meet the maneuvering impulsive velocity requirements of 1,050 fps which is provided by a modified LEM descent engine located in the module. Three solid-propellant retrorockets are located at the fore end of this module also.

This vehicle fulfills the mission requirements of delivering 12 men and 13, 455 lb of packaged cargo to a space station orbiting at an altitude of 260 nmi and an inclination of 29.5°. The launch vehicle puts the spacecraft in a 105 nmi parking orbit from which a Hohmann transfer is used to reach the rendezvous altitude of 260 nmi. Impulse for the Hohmann transfer and injection into final orbit is provided for in the 1,050 fps of impulsive velocity capability of the maneuver propulsion system. The maximum dynamic pressure of 525 psf is reached approximately 85 sec after launch. The maximum longitudinal acceleration during launch is approximately 4 g's."

At the end of the mission, the capsule would return to Earth for recovery, refurbishment and reuse. The propulsion module would be allowed to burn up.

"On an operational basis, prelaunch preparation time for a new [Ballos] spacecraft is 40 days. This time period includes receiving and shop processing prior to mating to the erected launch vehicle.

The projected 1968 to 1970 time period estimate for on-pad preparation time for the Saturn IB launch vehicle is 48 days. Of this, 23 days are allowed for payload mating and integrated vehicle checkout. The total prelaunch processing time required for the [BALLOS] vehicle, therefore, would be 63 days."

BALLOS never progressed past the study phase, like many proposals of the Apollo Application Program.

Date: Study 1964

source, source

NASA ID: S64-3663, S63-4634, S64-1800

[bobbie-robron]

And the question we’re all asking is… how’s a bloke like Andy… pull a bird like Katie? (Part 2.2)

Robert tries to write his speech but gets nowhere leading him to Katie’s doorstep. Katie opens up Andy’s pressie and it’s a locket. With few words, Katie and Robert wind up in bed together.

16-Feb-2004

[liminal-station]

MODCAT’S HALLOWEEN SPECIL

Happy Halloween, people of Earth! Today is a day of costumes, candy, and booping, apparently. And for the last few days, I’ve been working on a treat to give to all of you!

I deal with the multiverse a lot on this blog, so I’ve seen my fair share of differences and oddities. For instance, did you know there’s a world where the Subway Bosses aren’t Pokemon characters, but are actually characters from a Tim Burton film? In the film, Ingo dies and enters the afterlife, where he is selected by the ferryman Charon to take his place. He uses his power to travel back to the world of the living and reunite with Emmet, setting the stage for a macabre adventure between worlds.

Eeeeexcept that’s not actually a universe I or the Liminal Twins have been to. It’s an AU I’ve had in the works for around a year now, titled Psychopomp and Circumstance. I’m excited to release the first chapter once it’s completed, but for now, I’ve got a tasting portion for you to sink your teeth into, with a special guest appearance by the ghost with the most, if you know what I mean~

Word count: 3663

Content warnings: frequent death mentions, detached body parts (cartoony), mild swearing, kicking a horse, insects inside someone

Spoilers for Beetlejuice 1 and 2

Enjoy! And remember… don’t say his name three times.

Amongst the dead, only two men have the power to travel to the world of the living whenever they please and be seen by living humans. One is the psychopomp, appointed by Charon himself and given the sacred task of escorting the dead to their resting place. The other, the afterworld’s most wanted criminal. The man was easy to find, but hard to catch; simply saying his name aloud thrice was all it took to invoke him, but he obeyed no law but his own. In his hundreds of years of undeath, he had become a master of dark magic, with the power to warp reality itself in the blink of an eye. Not even the living were immune to his cruel and unusual machinations. The dead all knew him by name, but few dared to speak it.

It had been a few weeks since Ingo Vanderbilt’s tragic death. After being chosen to take over as the official psychopomp, he returned to Earth to reunite with his brother, Emmet, and show him the truth of life and death. Since that day, Emmet made a habit of visiting the afterworld as his brother's official plus-one. He was nowhere near used to the macabre and unsettling nature of the place, but he found that death wasn’t all that different from life, and he was, of course, grateful to have his twin brother back.

The two of them were headed to meet up with one of Ingo’s new acquaintances, a woman named Irida who was a great warlord in ancient Japan. Emmet was still quite a bit bewildered that his brother held such a high rank in the afterlife, but proud of him nonetheless. As they walked through the winding cobblestone streets, Emmet following the light of his brother’s lantern, Ingo spotted a wall of posters illuminated by a skull-shaped street lamp. Emmet didn’t even notice Ingo had stopped until he heard the sound of paper ripping.

“Uh… Ingo? Why exactly are you taking down that poster?”

Ingo ripped the poster into unreadable scraps with his skeletal hands, and tossed them to the howling wind.

“We cannot have that fiend advertising his “services”. Not on my watch.” Ingo began to tear off a few more of the posters, letting them fall to the ground. Curious, Emmet picked up one of the posters…

TROUBLED BY THE LIVING? Exor-cise YOUR right to rest in peace! Call the afterlife’s leading bio-exorcist TODAY toll-free!

Commercial - Residential - Industrial

BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE

“Ingo, you have to be overreacting. Sure, this could be a scam, but you should really deal with that through the proper channels!”

“You don’t understand”, Ingo said as his half-rotten head turned a perfect 180 degrees to look at his brother. “That man is a danger to both the dead AND the living. That “bio-exorcism” gig is just his way to open the door… and once that door is open, he is uncontrollable. He can even bring direct harm to the living…”

Emmet’s eyebrows shot up. “H-he can hurt the living? I thought that was forbidden!”

“It is. But he knows the laws from front to back, and he knows exactly how to bend them. If some poor soul happened to summon him, the entire afterworld could be in danger.”

Emmet looked down at the flier again. It even had a section detailing this man’s “romantic” services… ew. But Emmet simply couldn’t see how something like this could be the work of an immortal dark mage…

“If he really is a danger to ghost-anity, I’m sure the authorities are already looking for him. Besides, how is anyone supposed to get a hold of him, anyway? There’s no phone number to be seen anywhere in this entire advertisement! Just the word “Betelgeuse” over and over…”

“Emmet, I am warning you from the bottom of my cold, unbeating heart to NOT say that name. If you say it three times in a row…”

“Okay, okay! I will conduct my safety checks, you can trust me…”

As the twins continued to walk through the twisted streets, paved with chunks of gravestone and dead grass, Emmet couldn’t shake the thought of that name. Every time Ingo would take down one of the advertisements, he would glance down at the scraps and repeat that accursed name in his head. He was used to Ingo haunting the station, but for his mind to be haunted was a totally different experience.

“Quite a few beetles out today…” Ingo remarked offhandedly as he felt the crunch of a beetle under his boot. Beetle… could it be? Was this some sort of sign? Emmet tried his best to keep his composure, but he began to wonder… What would happen? What would truly happen if he gave in and summoned the bio-exorcist? He was not even sure what services he would need, or what he would be paying in, but the thought was almost demonically tantalizing, and the sensation only grew with every second. He began mouthing the word silently… Betelgeuse. Beetle-Juice. It felt… right, somehow. It was as if he was born to say that name.

“Emmet? Earth to Emmet!”

Emmet quickly snapped out of his own thought spiral.

“Uh- yeah. I-I’m okay.”

Ingo looked incredibly worried. “You froze in the middle of the sidewalk… are you getting tired? Do you not want to meet Irida? Both are quite okay, I promise.”

Emmet shook his head, his mind still filled with thoughts. “N-no, it’s just… I-I’ll be alright, brother.”

Ingo placed his cold hands on his brother's shoulders. “You are clearly not. Is it the temperature? Us dead folk can withstand the cold, but you’re still alive. Do you want to wear my coat?”

A beetle fluttered past and landed on Ingo’s arm. That small event, a single insect, was all it took for Emmet to finally break.

“B-Buh… Buh…”

“Emmet?!? Don’t worry, I’ll get you back to the world of the living. Just remain calm!”

“Buh… Beetlejuice…”

Ingo took a step back. “E-Emmet? You’ll be okay, we-“

“Beetlejuice.” Emmet was set in his ways. He didn’t even look at his brother. Ingo tried desperately to make his brother reconsider, but he feared it was already too late.

“Brother! Please, you must change your track! You don’t understand what this could do! You could be putting us both in danger!

But Emmet did not hesitate. He couldn’t live without knowing. The curiosity gnawed at his very soul, pushing him forward, forcing that last word out of his mouth. He tossed aside his fears, and proclaimed:

“BEETLEJUICE!”

The ground began to shake as the sky clouded over, flashing with green lightning and booming thunder. The twins held on tight to their hats as the wind quickly sped up, on the verge of becoming a hurricane. To Emmet, it felt as though the world had started spinning, spinning, spinning…

And then, it stopped. Emmet steadied himself, allowing his racing heart to slow down. The twins found themselves standing in what appeared to be a small call center, staffed entirely by men with shrunken heads who answered call after call despite all their mouths being sewn shut.

“Ingo? Uh… where are we?”

“I don’t care where we are. We have to get out.” He hoisted up the Stygian Lantern, the ancient artifact bestowed upon him by Charon that granted him the ability to travel anywhere in seconds…

“Huh? Where did the lantern go?!”

The lantern, the source of Ingos power, was nowhere to be found. He began to panic, knowing he was utterly powerless without it and had no means of escape or self-defense.

“Looking for this?”, said a voice that sounded like it had been smoking a pack a day for the past hundred years. The twins turned to face a man sitting at the desk who definitely hadn’t been there moments before. His legs were crossed with his feet resting on the desk, and he dangled the lantern above his head, his sunken eyes going over every detail.

“Been meaning to get my hands on this puppy. Thanks for dropping it off, boys!”

“You will give that back this instant!” Ingo proclaimed, standing his ground even in this unfamiliar place. “That lantern is mine and mine alone! Only I can wield it!”

“Hm… nah.” Instead of standing up, Beetlejuice simply floated out of his seat casually. “With this little doohickey, I’ll finally be able to get around that “saying my name three times” rule. And then I can visit Lydia whenever I want.”

Emmet finally chimed in, nervously asking “Uh… who’s Lydia?”

“Who’s Lydia?! Only the most beautiful, kind-hearted, angelic woman I’ve met in 500 years! I simply can’t imagine after-living without her…” Sad music began to play from everywhere at once, as if the air itself turned into pure song. “But she rejected me BOTH times I tried to force her to marry me!”

“Um… that doesn’t exactly seem consensual, Mister Juice, sir…” Emmet stammered.

“You’re doing all this… because of a CRUSH?! An UNREQUITED one at that?!? Ugh… you will hand the Stygian Lantern back NOW.”

Beetlejuice simply cackled, filling the air with the disgusting stench of his breath. “Last time I checked, the guy with the lantern makes the rules… and the guy with the lantern is ME. Sayonara, fuckers.”

With a raise of his hairy eyebrow, a trapdoor in the floor opened up, or rather, manifested on the spot. The brothers Vanderbilt held onto each other's hands as they fell, eventually landing on a sand dune. Emmet coughed up sand, meanwhile Ingo didn’t need to as it passed right through his exposed, organless ribcage.

“Where are we now?” Emmet asked. Ingo tried to speak, but was interrupted by a booming roar. Something big was rustling underneath the surface, encircling them…

Suddenly, it burst up from underground in a cloud of desert sand. The twins were face to face with a sandworm, the apex predator of Saturn’s moon. It opened its massive, fanged mouth full of stalactite-sized teeth, revealing a second head within, both salivating at the sight of their next meal.

“INGO?! WHAT DO WE DO?!?”

“It should be obvious… WE RUN!!!”

The two bolted away, rushing through the sandy canyon of the alien planet. Ingo held Emmet’s hand as they ran, dragging him along since Ingo didn’t have lungs to run out of breath with. The beast swam in and out of the sand as it hunted them down, snaking in a zig-zag pattern to gain speed. Its jaws were so close, Emmet could nearly feel its breath on the back of his neck.

The twins spotted a strangely-shaped rock and immediately crouched down behind it, keeping as quiet as they possibly could. Ingo’s heart would be pounding out of his chest, if he had a heart or a chest. The sandworm continued to scan the area, using its heat-sensitive vision to hunt down ghosts, its favorite prey. Emmet held his breath, trying to make himself as small as possible, while Ingo contemplated how the hell they were going to get out of this. He knew he would simply be digested and pop back up in the afterworld, but that wasn’t an option since Emmet was still alive. Suddenly, the trapdoor opened up again, and a hand reached down from the hole in the sky.

“Grab my hand!”

It was Irida! Ingo and Emmet knew they had no time to question how she had found them. They waited until the worm dove back under the sand, and when it did they ran as fast as they could back to the trapdoor. Unfortunately, the worm could sense something hot and cold nearby, and went right back to the chase.

“Emmet, it’s too high up! How are we going to reach?!”

Emmet tried to think, although his mind was mainly focused on survival.

“I’ve got it! You can detach your limbs, right? Take off your arm! I’ll hold onto your leg, don’t worry!”

“On it!” Ingo grabbed onto his right shoulder with his left hand, and ripped it out at the base. Emmet was still amazed that he felt no pain whatsoever from doing that. Holding his detached arm in his other hand, he was able to reach up to take Irida’s hand. She pulled them up with all her strength, luckily avoiding the sandworm’s jaws just in time. The trapdoor shut behind them and fused back into the floorboards as Beetlejuice’s magic wore off. Emmet collapsed on the ground, huffing shallow breaths and trying to come out of survival mode.

“Thank you kindly, Lady Irida…”, Ingo said as he dusted sand off his uniform. “How is it that you found us, anyway?”

“You’re never late to ANYTHING. I knew something had to be up. And, of course, I could hear your brother screaming from a mile away.”

Emmet nervously scratched the back of his neck. “Must have been loud, then…”

With a moment to think clearly finally, he realized this whole situation wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t said those three little words. Both the world of the living and the world of the dead were in danger now because of him. Ingo knew his brother well, and he could tell when Emmet was receding into his own head. He sat down next to his brother, reattached his arm, and put it around his brother.

“Emmet, this isn’t your fault.”

“It is.” Emmet couldn’t even bring himself to look at his brother. “Your lantern… it’s gone. And it’s my fault. I-I don’t even know what I was thinking, I… I felt like I had to. I was so stupid… I should just go home.”

“Emmet… wait, I hear something. Would you… would you sit still for a moment?”

That snapped Emmet out of it just a little bit. “Uh… sure? What are you-“

He froze when he felt Ingo’s bony fingers digging inside his ear. He reached deep inside Emmet’s ear canal and pulled out a small, chittering beetle. “Here it is. I had a feeling.”

“Would you look at that…” Irida chimed in.

“See, it’s not your fault at all, Emmet. You just didn’t notice a bug in your ear. It was probably compelling you to summon Beetlejuice. I didn’t know he got into the mind control business…”

Emmet was utterly stunned, and decently traumatized as well. He had a bug in him… a BUG in his EAR. An entire BEETLE. He would never be clean again, no matter how much he bathed… The beetle fluttered up into the air, neon green wings shimmering as it left a trail of clearly magical residue behind it.

“Hold on a moment… you said the lantern is gone? It’s tied to your very soul, is it not? Why can’t you simply… call it back to you?” Irida questioned.

“Believe me, Lady Irida, I’ve tried. But this is Beetlejuice we’re talking about. His power even rivals Charon’s, dare I say…”

“Oh, him? Back in my time, he was known as quite the fearsome yokai, known for granting wishes in exchange for releasing chaos into people’s houses. It seems like he hasn’t changed much in the 200 years since… and if there’s anything I know about him, it’s that he can’t be allowed to keep your lantern!”

“W-well, technically it’s Charon’s lantern, I’m simply-“

Emmet suddenly had another idea. “I am Emmet. I suspect that if we follow the bug, it could lead us back to Beetlejuice!”

Ingo didn’t seem to mind that his brother interrupted him. “Emmet, once again, you are a genius! And if he’s piloting my ghost train…” He shudders, imagining that horrid scene. “…we could hijack it before he crosses the Styx!”

Irida stepped forward. “If it’s a train you’re after, you’ll need my horse. Not to worry, spirit horses always find their way back to their pastures!”

She put two fingers in her mouth and let out a whistle at a frequency only spirit horses could hear. That kind of summoning technique took many years to master, but Irida made it look easy. The galloping of its hooves could be heard from far in the distance, and it phased through the wall and into the room at the command of its master.

“Hop on. We’re losing moonlight, as Adaman would say. I hate it when he says that…” Ingo and Emmet sat behind Irida on the ethereal steed, and together they set off to take the lantern back once and for all.

A ghostly mist billowed from the smokestack of the Ghost Train as it rapidly approached the River Styx. Beetlejuice, dressed in a black-and-white striped conductors uniform, drove the train straight through the city streets, cackling all the way as it phased in and out of houses. Irida, Ingo and Emmet followed the smoke on horseback, Irida frequently commanding the horse to go faster with a kick to the ribcage. Ingo knew they were fast approaching the Styx, and while he trusted Irida and her 200 years of experience, he feared there may be no hope. They began to catch up just as the train left the city, and the three could see the river drawing closer. Beetlejuice hit the gas while a clone of him shoveled bones into the fire.

“Ingo! Emmet! You’re going to have to jump!”

“JUMP?!?” Emmet yelped. “If we miss, I’ll drown in the Styx!”

“Brother, I’m afraid we have no better option…”

Emmet’s done much more daring things than this. At least, that’s what he kept repeating in his head to calm his nerves. Just as the Ghost Train began to cross the river, the twins leapt off the horse. Ingo grabbed hold of the back of the train, and managed to catch Emmet’s hand. He hoisted Emmet across just before his arm came out of its socket. Again, Emmet had to catch his breath. This was certainly a night he wouldn’t forget for a long time…

Ingo turned to his brother. “You sneak in and get this train to stop before it reaches the threshold. Don't worry, I’ve designed the controls to be pretty intuitive. I’ll keep him distracted and try to get the lantern out of his hands.”

“Y-you’re sure about this? …okay. Trains are what I know best, after all!” Emmet broke into the train and made his way to the front, while Ingo used the attached ladder to climb up to the roof. The rumbling and shaking of the train was like second nature to him, even in death.

“Beetlejuice! I know you can hear me, you foul thing. We’re going to settle this like men, not creatures of the night.”

Beetlejuice peeked up from a hatch at the front of the train. “Damn hobos, trying to dodge fares again- huh? It’s YOU?! I sent you all the way to Titan, how did- you know what? Nevermind.” He hopped up to join Ingo on the roof, brandishing the stolen lantern with a toothy, yellow grin. “You want your toy back so bad? Hahaha…”

His laugh grew from a gentle chuckle to a maniacal cackle, and his stature began to grow as well. The bones in his arms cracked and snapped as they began to curl into spirals. His conductor's hat transformed before Ingo’s eyes into a carousel of sorts, with all manner of beasts spinning around his head, and the lantern spinning along with them, dangling from a hook.

“COME AND GET IT!!”

Ingo couldn't do much in the way of damage without his lantern, which could turn into a scythe in a burst of otherworldly flame. All he could do was dodge Beetlejuice’s hammer-hands and hope Emmet could stop the train in time. Ingo tried to scale his attacker’s massive arms and reach for the lantern himself, but a single sweeping strike reduced him to a pile of flesh and bones. All the while, Beetlejuice couldn’t contain his sadistic laughter.

Suddenly, the wheels started to spark. Just as the light of the threshold between worlds was drawing closer, the train ground to a halt!

“WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?! KEEP SHOVELING! PULL EVERY LEVER YOU CAN!!”

“No can do, Mister Juice. None of this was in our arrangement. In fact, did we even discuss an arrangement in the first place? As far as I can tell, this is fraud.”

“HEY, NO WAY! YOU DON’T KNOW THE RULES OF THE AFTERLIFE, FLESHY!”

“But I know the rules of the subway. And criminals aren’t allowed on the train. Beetlejuice…”

“DON’T DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GONNA DO, KID.”

“Beetlejuice…”

“WHAT IS IT YOU WANT? MONEY, FAME, LOVE? COME ON, I’M DOUBLE-DYIN’ HERE!! PLEASE, DON’T-“

“Beetlejuice.”

And with that, the summoning spell was broken. Beetlejuice exploded into a cloud of confetti and Halloween candy like some sort of undead piñata, and the lantern fell right into Ingo’s armless hand. Emmet climbed up to help put his brother back together.

“Thank you, Emmet. Thank you very much. I should have never said anything about those advertisements in the first place…”

“Come on, don’t thank me. I had to fix my mistake. And nothing was going to stop me from helping my brother… even if he’s dead. ESPECIALLY when he’s dead.”

“…I suppose you’re right. We’ll have to make plans with Irida another night, then… if she forgives us for all the trouble.”

“Heh, you can say that again…” He looked towards the light streaming from the other side of the veil between worlds. “That's pretty bright. Must be close to morning, right?”

“Well, we’re already here.” Ingo stood up straight and tall, donning the professionalism of a conductor. “I suppose I should be taking you back now and beginning the day’s work. You deserve a nice, long shower, anyway.”

Emmet shivered. “I doubt I’ll ever feel clean again…”

The twins shared a heart laugh as the train slowly started up again. Emmet took his seat inside, but a feeling crept up his spine that he couldn’t shake. A feeling that he hadn’t seen the last of Beetlejuice…