#30 bucks for gas…

[malaroane]

ok well i got paid finally but im only gonna have 128 for the next two weeks….. i literally dont get paid next until the day of graduation lmfao

[evilhorse]

It’s a perfect oofah-trick to play on him

(Buck Rogers 2430 A.D. daily strip)

[appendingfic]

Still one of the best facts that Tony Chopper's bounty is 1000 berri, which, assuming it works like yen, is like $10.

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

hey why the fuck are magazines 20 dollars now. and why do they need SHIPPING

[boyapologist]

I think the universe just rewarded me for my shitty ASB because I just paid NINE BUCKS for the ride home???? and the driver was literally 4 minutes away, I didn't even wait

[wkiwf]

life is beautiful when my grocery list looks like this. i’m gonna walk out of publix having only spent like 30 bucks and im gonna feel so good about it

[fruitmouse]

i love saying “im gonna go run some errands” it makes me feel so real

[queercatboyrights]

just checked the bank account after all the bills hit

[machikoasu]

Hmm... To spend $30+ on a dinosaur game or not..

[eileennatural]

it's like my professors want me to kill myself. well i'm not giving them the satisfaction

[snowluvvie]

strawberry shortcake 🍓

Rodrick <33

₊˚⊹ ♡. Rodrick Heffley is certainly not a planner, he never has been. He spends plenty of time agonizing over how exactly he's gonna blow your socks off on the big day, but when he's ready to start planning, he realizes that it's two days away. He scrapes together the couple bucks in his wallet, some change from his dorm room couch (and you're 99% sure he took some money from Greg's piggy bank,) to present you on Valentine's Day with a grand total of: a beanie-baby stuffed animal, a box of candy hearts, a mostly-crushed bouquet of flowers from the gas station, and a hand-burned CD with the title "jams 4 hot gf" scrawled across the front in his inexcusably terrible handwriting. He's basically grinding his toe into the dirt all shy-like when he gives them to you, giving you a classic "I know it's not much, but—" though you cut him off by throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him so hard he makes an oof noise, the wind knocked out of him.

The two of you make an appearance at your favorite date spot—an extremely sketchy, extremely sticky bowling alley where three of the lanes are perpetually closed, and the lights in the attached arcade flicker ominously. Your squeals and his laughter echo off the wood-paneled walls, and for your whole game (him appearing on the scoreboard as RODPRICK and you as THE BABE,) it feels like you're the only two people on the whole planet. Rodrick insists on winning you a stuffed animal from the claw machine, and you put on an oscar-winning performance of being equally as excited every time he tries, and equally as shocked and disappointed every time it slips from the metal grasp. You rub his back consolingly as you walk away once his pockets are officially empty, and he slings an arm over your shoulders as he mutters, "at least you got the beanie baby" with a defeated shake of his head.

You almost let out a little sniffle at the card he gives you (it takes you a couple tries to read it cause good lord, his handwriting really is awful,) which says "ur way too cool and hot and smart for me, but i'm glad u haven't realized that yet. happy valentine's day babe :)" accompanied by the worst drawing of you two as stick figures you've ever seen. He even plays you an extremely sincere but terribly loud love song on the drum set in the communal music room, and the two of you get promptly kicked out halfway through. Ending the day with your face buried in his hoodie, watching some stupid movie, the whole day having cost probably $30 total, you hum against his lips when he kisses you and think about how it was kind of the best day you've ever had. Sure, it made it glaringly obvious that Rodrick Heffley is a total disaster—but c'mon, he's your disaster.

[tetedurfarm]

Y'ALL WANT SOME FUCKIN RABBITS i have rabbits for sale. three of em anyway.

i will be at the monroe, wa show on december 7th, or i can meet you somewhere public on a day that works - if i drive to you though i would really love like $10 for gas <3 if they haven't gone somewhere by dec 21 i will be taking them to a livestock auction so get em while you can.

take more than one and get a discount!

this is Blacklist, a not quite two year old purebred new zealand white buck from Olympic Horizon in oregon. i bought him as a cull so he will NOT come with a pedigree, but he will make an amazing meat breeder for someone. i mean look at him. show worthy, not really, but THICK? yes. his personality is not particularly wonderful but he isn't hard to handle and is a good breeder (though does not force/table breed.) genetically he's an otter or silver martin, i haven't proved out much more than 'he's at_'. selling at no fault of his own, i just have used him as much as i can and he deserves to find another barn to work at. $20 (+ gas if i drive to you)

also have this guy, a 7mo unnamed copper (chestnut agouti) satin buck. he is NOT purebred, but he is mostly satin the breed. has TAMUKs in his dam's side (and yes they are Actual tamuks; i bought that great-grandsire and gg-dam from the college barn myself.) he has a beautiful glossy satin coat with a nice depth of colour. NOT show quality, but i can give you his 'pedigree' for your records. as far as satins go this guy isn't a crazy one but he is still an animal that doesn't like being handled. he is UNPROVEN as a breeder but i have no reason to doubt him. if he doesn't breed he'll make a lovely throw pillow. i just prefer his sire over him. $20 (+ gas if i drive to you)

and lastly, this little girly. she is a black otter moyen ('medium', meaning she will be in between mini and standard in size) rex that is just at four months old (she will be old enough to breed in february so right at the start of the breeding season). she is NOT show quality but i can give you a pedigree for your records. she doesn't carry anything particularly fun since she comes from my show project lines that are pretty cleanly black/white/otter, but she'll be a little meat brick and make nice babies. pretty decent density in her coat. i'd like $40 for her since she's a rex and a doe, but if you take her and a buck you can get $30 for the pair. NOTE though that she will not throw rex coats with either of the bucks above. but if pelts aren't your concern, any of them would feed you well.

if you are in western washington/nw oregon/sw british columbia and are interested, feel free to dm me :)

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Plus One, Forehead Sweat, Ghouli, Kitten, Rm9sbG93ZXJz, Familiar, Nothing Lasts Forever), Part VII

Part I (My Struggle I), Part II (Founder's Mutation), and Part III (Weremonster), Part IV (Home Again), Part V (Babylon), and Part VI (This.)

Had to cut down on my react posts because I didn't have the time, drive, or willpower to keep plowing through at the same rate.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

The usual complaints.

There are overly dramatic "DUUUUN" musical cues, scenes end too quickly, camera shots transition at odd times, and the cast can be too wooden or too emotionless in moments that desperately need something (Mitch Pileggi excepted. He nailed it.) David and Gillian trade off believability in their respective roles; and usually not in the same scene (unfortunately.) Scully is stuck with her 30-years-a-smoker voice; and Mulder magically finds every answer he could ever want from the Dark Web. (I don't think "the Dark Web" means what the writers think it means.)

However. The plots are tighter, the humor more effective, and the pacing (a tad) better constructed.

I wouldn't mind rewatching mid-S11 if it followed different characters in a different show. As it stands, nothing really hit the spot.

PLUS ONE

Mulder and Scully are but aren't but are together in S10 and S11. They also are in This but aren't in Plus One. What the script says they do versus what DD and GA portray them doing often clash.

Yeah, Mulder and Scully are already involved again in this episode. My theory: scoot-in-your-boot is a private in-joke they have. Backed up by: his twinkle and her quick "I'm scooting you out of here."

The siblings were like a Punch and Judy show, get it? (Chucky Poundstone? Punch? Ehhh? Also, Chuck like Chucky the doll. ...And also like the other Revival Chuck doll, Mr. Chuckleteeth.)

Plot problems:

A man who matched the profiles of recent, suicidal "sudden schizophrenia" victims was left, alone, in his cell while he screamed for help. That would not fly by 2015 standards. And if it did, there would be serious consequences or a serious attempt at a to cover-up (which the cops didn't attempt to do.)

Chucky Poundstone: Fight Club levels of overacting.

Mulder and Scully were constantly called hot not because the topic naturally bloomed in conversation but because it was relevant to the episode's theme.

Scully let Demon Judy get to her. Scully wouldn't have been bothered to be out of "child-bearing age" because Mulder might want kids with someone else (WHEN HAS MULDER EVER)-- she should've been bothered because she wasted their one shot at parenthood and "threw away" their son. Wrong track, wrong manipulation tactic. Like point 3, this was only brought up to serve the episode's theme, not because it was crafted to fit the characters.

A lot of Mulder and Scully's theories talked past each other or leaped from point to point without fully fleshing out the last one (i.e. Scully derailing their theories to insist that ghosts don't exist.)

Scully almost threw away the pills Judy gave her instead of, I don't know, testing them first.

Scully and Mulder didn't keep the lawyer under surveillance after he saw his double.

Scully didn't believe in the Devil anymore... despite the fact that she used to, and we aren't told when or why she changed her mind. Imperative character development the writers neglected.

Scully thought it was more plausible that a man would cut off his own head through shared psychosis than the possibility of a supernatural element at play.

Scully was butchered either way: she believes in a supernatural element but doesn't want to admit it to Mulder because Judy might be right about her; or, she believes everyone is in a state of delusion yet still gives weight to Judy's pokes about her age.

The "Can you hold me?" scene was pleasantly in-character for Scully, but wobbled and waffled for Mulder. It also bucked up against their "we're already together" vibe, and didn't fit with This (at all.)

"I don't have anyone to have one [a kid] with even if I could [have kids]." Script, don't insult my intelligence; Scully was literally in Mulder's arms when she said this ("What are we gonna do?"/"We'll think of something" kind of saves it. Rather, salvaged it.)

Mulder didn't see Scully's doppelganger even though he was facing the doorway and was on high alert. Scully didn't TELL HIM she saw her doppelganger earlier (which is stupid because she'd either be aware it's-- hello-- an evil entity or she could be considered a risk in the field.)

Mulder ran off WITHOUT SCULLY after seeing his double and after she admitted to seeing her own earlier.

Scully ATE RANDOM PILLS instead of, I don't know, analyzing them first. The plot needed to have Scully have the pills because she wouldn't have saved herself otherwise. And also: why did the placebo pills work??? We're never told anything about them other than they're leftovers from Judy's food, and that the nurses superstitiously take them, too. That's it. No followup.

Scully continued to drive after seeing "herself" in the backseat. She should have pulled over-- even if she believed the doppelganger was only an illusion-- because she'd become a road risk and was following the pattern of the other victims.

The siblings just got mad at each other and wrote each other's names in the hangman slots. Which saved Mulder and Scully while killing each other, conveniently.

The "Mom" and "Dad" hangman papers haven't aged a day, despite being written, supposedly, when Chuck and Judy were kids.

DD salvaged the ending by waiting in the doorway for Scully.

Plus One thrust me into a world where Mulder and Scully are jumping in and out of bed, from Unremarkable House to motel, from etc. to etc., without ever talking about their future-- more accurately, where the writing pretends Scully never pondered the obvious conclusion.

THE LOST ART OF FOREHEAD SWEAT

This episode worked... up to a point.

As a one-off, the comedy hit pretty consistently and Reggie was an enjoyable third wheel. (I admit: I ALMOST laughed out loud when Reggie shot Eddie Van Blundht in the head.) The writing was tight, the dialogue flowed smoothly, there were no out-of-place musical beats or lingering camera shots.

As a part of the overall canon?

Forehead Sweat solidifies, for me, what doesn't work about the "modernization" of the Revival. Dr. They kindly pronounces that Mulder and his way of life is no longer necessary in the current age... and that's the stickler. The current age. Fox Mulder didn't fit into the current-world 90s, either, because the mythology and Consortium and mystery behind the original show was a fabrication inspired by old politics-- the Cold War-- that was then mapped onto a very loose, very forgiving framework. If Carter and Co. had kept to that formula, had steered away from cookie-cuttering the 2015-2018 political climate into their show, then Fox Mulder and Dana Scully wouldn't seem so lost and out of place chasing X-Files in the forest in their 50s while aliens did or didn't plan to colonize the planet and Skinner might or might not be on their side. Because that would raise questions: why hasn't the Trump Administration shut them down-- he'd consider their unit useless. Why are Mulder and Scully now afraid the FBI will be suspicioned or "shut down" if it's always been corrupt, if even now they serve a counter-culture role to the establishment, instead of striking off on their own? More importantly, in an era steeped in finger-pointing and blame-shifting and distrust and disbelief, there's no way the cases that drift to the basement wouldn't be blown up on social media within hours-- especially when the 90s already had NICAP and MUFON and other groups who closely followed their niche interests. The logic of The X-Files quickly falls apart in a world that would afflict stricter and harsher consequences, 2015 and 1993 alike.

That aside, this was the best Revival episode, thus far, in terms of quality. I will give it that. (Note from the future: that will be outdone, I believe, by Kitten.)

Plot problems:

The comedy bits hit, but Mulder and Scully warp in and out of character to achieve them (particularly: the repeated one where Scully keeps leaving before Mulder finishes rambling. Ironically, it's out of place with Darin's other comedic episode Weremonster as well as 200+ other examples of her character. But if the execution had been tweaked, those scenes would have been satisfying to watch. )

Mulder was LOUD. That's not new; but he was LOUD in the wrong moments, at the wrong times-- raising his voice, yelling, punctuating statements with STATEMENTS rather than his usual smooth pantomime or one-off, quick-witted remark.

The Babyfication of Dialogue continues ("sugarboobs", "I'm Fox Freaking Mulder, you punks!", etc.)

I'll bet Reggie kept hiding from the baddies in Skinner's office, hence why he knew him. This isn't a criticism so much as a theory. Or maybe those two gossiped over the water cooler-- Skinner knows everything and everyone, after all.

The Trump Administration poses no threat compared to the global Consortium and Conspiracy Mulder and Scully faced in the 90s. It was considered a threat to 2016s America, which would explain the "I feel like the world's gone mad" quotes the two leads keep kicking around. But, to them? Who lost and almost died and tried to save as many lives as possible to the Syndicate? And in a mythology that had large, regular gatherings of conspiracists who believed in aliens and distrusted the government (as seen in The Red and the Black), it disrespects the intelligence of its viewers by injecting and magnifying struggles that Mulder and Scully would philosophically take on the chin.

GHOULI

Another bump up in quality. The sharp back-and-forth camera techniques are better utilized with this episode's destabilizing, reality-questioning moments. Mulder rambling about the pathos and history behind classic monsters is a classic Mulder moment, Scully snorting and slightly smirking as he does so is a classic Scully moment. Is this the origin of the "Bob" nickname on Tumblr? The girl's "Kids would get stoned on it, in the summer. ...Not me!" was hilarious. Scully's speech in the morgue was the most Scully moment I've seen thus far. Scully subtly admitting to hiding evidence from her parents in her mattress (like Jackson.) Skinner always gets updates about Mulder's activities through other government employees' complaints.

Demerits: shots and cutaways still, well, cutaway at odd moments. Instead of holding on a scene and easing the audience into the atmosphere, cutcutcutcut snaps them out of it. But that's par for the course in the Revival; and it's not tooooooo badly done in Ghouli. Hoebag Jackson Van de Kamp. Mulder didn't get a moment to grieve over his son.

Thoughts? It turned from gripping mystery to big, fat disappointment. Skinner was great, Scully's morgue scene was great, um, Clone!Mulder had a nice moment or two. Jackson stank. As a condensed, disparate experience? It's alright. I quite liked it. (But it still wasn't The X-Files to me, etc. etc.)

Plot problems:

Mulder initially thought Scully's experience was sleep paralysis when he quite literally experienced this before in Paper Hearts. And neither were off-put or shaken by the similarities. (The episode tries to patch this up with, "You've been receiving visions through seizures. I'm sure this is another form"; but that's after she pointed to an open x-file and identified that boat as the one in her "dream".)

Mulder quoted a quote similar but different to his own from the original show. Instead of, y'know, quoting his own quote.

Mulder and Scully's kid is just Free Willying it up everywhere. And for what?

If CC wanted to do away with William (and that's an if), his death and his last attempt at justice for himself and his adoptive parents would have been a mature, heartbreaking way to do it. But no, we got My Struggle IV instead.

Mulder is oddly hesitant to believe his son's alive-- he's usually the one who is borderline delusional about believing and having hope. Yes, the series is supposed to show Mulder on the "other side": depressed (maybe? jury's out), burnt-out, and afraid to believe. But it goes back and forth on that message so often that there is no concrete change in his character to hold onto.

SKINNER'S ON THE CSM'S LEASH AGAIN.

We're back on the "men in Conspiracy but actually aliens but ACTUALLY men in Conspiracy" schtick. Pick a lane, mytharc.

Jackson played dead but it backfired because his parents found him not the agents; then he had to escape so the agents know he's on the run anyway, so.... *Cue Tony Stark*: "Not a great plan." Jackson is an idiot.

Mulder puts together all the pieces of the case off-screen without us, the audience, being there to see him working the mystery out logically. A "tell don't show" approach that undercuts the brilliance of his leaps.

Jackson let his two gfs see a monster and stab each other.... Jackson is an idiot.

Jackson made up a monster legend website to prank both his girlfriends-- who don't know the other exists-- at once; and ended up causing them to stab each other in fright. Jackson's an IDIOT.

Jackson is an IDIOT and a bit of a psychopath. And a LOT of an IDIOT. And he only got his visions and powers recently (since My Struggle II or III, it would appear); so he had to be an idiot before unlocking his abilities-- like the Rush highschoolers. So. Great going, writers.

SARAH TURNED HIM IN BECAUSE HE WAS KISSING ANOTHER GIRL. I mean, get him, girl; but then don't come groveling back.

JACKSON DOES THE MULDER FOREHEAD TOUCH WITH ONE OF HIS TWO GIRLFRIENDS.

JACKSON GOES ON THE RUN INSTEAD OF ASKING FOR HELP FROM HIS POSSIBLE BIO MOM DESPITE HAVING VISIONS OF HER BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT.

Mulder. Never. Had. A. Moment. With. His. Son. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY.

Oh. Mulder and Scully accepted their son wanted to move on with his life, away from them. ...Nnnnnnnoooooooooo, Jackson's not safe and is now an orphan and a high school dropout. NOPE.

KITTEN

This is Blood and Sleepless and Wetwired 4.0. ...But it's not bad.

Mulder snooping around Skinner's kitchen... fine, I liked it. Sue me.

The cop... fine, sue me, I liked him.

Skinner's code name is Eagle... because he's bald. I don't care, sue me, that was hilarious.

Skinner had the best speech.

I admit: I really, really do like this episode. It's the only one that fits into canon, oddly. (Mulder and Scully aren't themselves, etc. etc., blah blah, what else is new.)

My overall thoughts: Um. What did it achieve? Kinda progressed their characters forward... but had to regress them, first. Mind control and chemtrails and falling teeth and Mulder and Scully possibly holding Skinner's career back and Mulder distrusting Skinner but trusting him again while Scully did trust Skinner and was proven right in the end.... And a reference to Mulder's juices. It was necessary for Season 11, character-wise-- a "let's repair the damage to Mulder's trust issues" (which had been resolved?? in This but then wasn't, I guess??)

Plot problems:

There goes S9 Kersh's character development: all that he came to believe in. Right down the drain. (Not that I care; but keep it consistent, series.)

Scully questioning what happened to "the old, reliable Skinner we always knew and loved" is RICH considering A. she and Mulder were questioning his loyalty not five episodes ago and B. Skinner constantly got his hands dirty to help them out (which they largely forget in the Revival, for plot reasons, unless forced into a corner.)

Mulder: "As much as I don't trust the guy right now--" EXCUSE ME. I don't care what My Struggle II or III implied, Mulder of all people, Mulder, has seen Skinner squeezed into tighter corners and still ended up trusting him.

Skinner's getting framed, again, on surveillance tape.

SCULLY giving Skinner the benefit of the doubt, NOT MULDER.

There's no way Skinner's surviving that wound without blood transfusions and serious medical attention. Nope.

Skinner... was behind the two agents... in a pit... but managed to not only climb out but outrun them... in the woods... with a side wound... and knock over a full-grown man... and punch him enough so that said man could get caught in his own trap. ...'Kay.

So. The teeth falling out was never explained. Except to suggest, I guess, that the gas slowly rots them out? Except the policeman and his wife also had teeth loss? Or was that as a comedic bit? Or/and a comedic bit? Who knows!

WAIT, I WAS WRONG. CHEMTRAILS. Really. CHEMTRAILS SPREADING POISON OVER THE TOWN. (Blood already did this but BETTER, writers.)

Mulder's "We're with you" is undercut by nearly 30 years of previous history.

Rm9sbG93ZXJz

This episode is, again, not too bad.

The characters, again again, don't feel like Mulder or Scully to me; but I could see Mulder and Scully doing the actions that the characters did. All in all, I can see why those who like the Revival would enjoy watching this.

Also, I still wish Clone!Mulder never had to pay the tip.

Plot problems:

The world with all this tech doesn't coincide nor coexist with The X-Files universe (and, yes, that including the Revival.)

The whole... not speaking thing. I know it was supposed to be artistic or to convey some layered meaning; but, narratively, it was off-putting. Perhaps if they'd both been knocked about in the field, and it was painful to talk? Mutual tonsil surgery? Anything??

Whipz. Get it? Scully whipz and naynays.

The robots having that much influence over lesser forms of tech (i.e. Mulder's cable, not a smart tv....)

Mulder would have absolutely spiraled if he'd experienced half of what this episode put him through. Scully would have spiraled. None of this would not have been easily brushed aside with a tip.

Mulder still calls sex phone operators; and the machines ratted him out to Scully. Either that, or it was a callback just so Mulder could tell the caller to "Shut up." He's grown and changed, guys~~~~~.

It doesn't make sense why the robots are trying to kill Mulder or Scully if they want a tip from them. OR, one could argue, the robots are threatening Scully's life so Mulder will pay the tip. Either way, the two could have been killed multiple times if they hadn't ducked or dodged. Seems counter-intuitive, and mostly just in service for a "surprise, we just want the tip" twist ending.

"We have to be better teachers." REALLY. That's the takeaway. Not the fact that they were almost KILLED due to the incompetence or oversight of whoever created these robots. REALLY.

FAMILIAR

So. Uh. Classic X-File. Held up pretty well. Classic Mulder eating crime scene evidence. The script was old-school tight.

In other words, this was Chimera 2.0. But not as great.

Plot problems:

The police immediately rule out the child's cause of death as a murder. And think it might be a coyote. Or a coy wolf. ...Uh huh.

"You're my homie": Babyfication back.

Scully doesn't believe in human combustion. ...Honestly, shakes out with her theory having been disproved in Trevor. (Although, I don't know if there was a spontaneous human combustion case in S9, feel free to correct me.)

Scully telling Mulder he's "wasting his time" for wanting to interview a little girl who was an eyewitness. ...WHAT.

The boy's mother is... not the best actress. Taking me back to the OG show at times.

What are those creepy teletubbies. Nightmare fuel.

The community... didn't know... there was a convicted sex offender... in their midst. ...Did no one care to look up, I don't know, A SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY??

WHY is Scully fighting back against his witchcraft thesis when she's witnessed a witch doctor plastic surgeon AND a bewitched doll??? Amongst other things????

Gotta admit: I chuckled when Mulder accidentally got the Chief to confess to an affair (his "I... did not see that coming.") However: that scene was wildly out of place amidst the tragedy of the salt-circle and the possible murder of the innocent-in-this-case pedophile.

The episode just skips from the police officer shooting the pedo straight to the officer's trial. ...What happened to that old curse put on the town, huh? Just... took a break for a couple weeks? Mulder and Scully stuck around, or flew out-and-in while Mr. Chuckleteeth took a power nap?

Officer Wentworth let Scully's suspicions slip to the child's father, at the child's funeral, and is kind of portrayed as the good guy here. He doesn't express remorse for not following protocol (especially to a broken-down father grieving the death of his child), only that he is "sickened" a man (the father he broke protocol for) gunned down another man without due process. ...'Kay.

So, all the responsible parties involved all die because the jealous wife was cursing the cheating woman and eventually her husband. ...But if that's the case, why did the Hellhound go after the CHILDREN first, not the two people it was summoned to punish?? Usually things go awry after a bit of murder and mayhem, not before.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

What a stinker of an episode. Just when the cinematography levels out, the plot absolutely rots.

I did like Mulder scaring off the two officers by pretending to be a religious supernatural investigator.

And the church scene was good. It was necessary for this series, for these characters. Glad it was done. (I say Scully whispered she's ready to let go of the past: a.k.a. move back in with him, let go of the files even, let go of her rigid expectations of herself. Hence Mulder's line: "I always wondered how it was going to end.")

Plot problems (well... some of them, lost interest):

I hated... everything about that opening sequence. Doctors eating pancreases, illegal organ harvest, "chemtrails" reference, NINJA WOMAN WHO CAN TOPPLE A GROWN MAN, NAAAAH, GET OUTTA HERE. THIS ISN'T BATWOMAN, BOOOOOO.

Mulder's defensive over his glasses. ...They both have needed glasses since the 90s. Is Scully ribbing him over a stronger prescription?? I don't think so.

Mulder only has progressive lenses because the plot needs a contrast to a cult sacrificing people for eternal life (Our Town and Sanguinarium and Roadrunners, anyone?)

The gore's just off the charts, huh?

Crazy, washed-up actress living off of her shut-ins' blood. Possibly their organs. To remain forever young. ...I unironically read a better fanfic of this, ngl.

There are so many, too many, egregiously many plot contrivances. Wow. Here's just one set: Ninja killer is seeking vengeance but just happens to attend church the same day Scully just happens to attend church the same day Mulder happens to follow Scully the same day the priest happens to put up the verse that just so happens to correspond with the verse on the evidence organ cooler which just so HAPPENS to be tied to a small illegal operation keeping a crazy washed-up actress alive and young while she subsists off of parts from her shut-ins she "rescued" from the street. Stunning.

Mulder never had a dog: confirmed. ...But he did have a dog in his childhood photos, soooooooooo. Guess someone else gave it to him, then. (Or there is no show bible. Or this is an awful, no good, no-hate-if-you-like-it-but-I-don't universe.)

WE'RE STILL ON THE MAGGIE COIN NECKLACE??? What other answer for it is there except it was the date Charlie walked out of her life???? Ugh, forget it. The writers wanted it to be a mystery box. Then Gillian walked away from the series and nothing was resolved, yolo.

Mulder always bears North, Scully says, no matter how hard the wind blows against him. ...Except it didn't-- numerous times in this series, numerous times in this season, in fact. The Revival is, in fact, built on top of him losing his way pre-My Struggle I. So. Strike 1000 for missteps in Writing 101, I suppose.

Big Boss fight with a woman attached to his back. ...Guys, this isn't The X-Files, this is Resident Evil.

Olivia looks ghostly pale one second, then almost normal the second the guy she's attached to is murdered. ...Guys. She's attached to a dead guy. That's gotta be sepsis by the time she's in the hospital, right? Also: if Olivia was in THIS deep in a cult, she would have been devastated, not dazed but delighted, that her sister had killed the guy she was attached to.

CONCLUSION

I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

If I feel in a ranty mood in future, I'll cover the last three Struggle episodes. But until then, my Revival journey has reached its end.

And what are my final thoughts? The same as they were going in. ;))

Thanks for reading¬

Enjoy!

[beenadoonabc]

I legit just saw a Bvcktommy stan sharing an Insta screenshot of a comment going "As a GA...."

Sorry, but a member of the GA would, by definition, not comment on social media complaining about the Bucktommy breakup (that they allegedly haven't even seen yet) using the "Tommy bubbles buck" tag (🙄) and they most certainly wouldn't label themselves "a GA".

Do they think that if they start their cringe warfare posts with "as a GA", that the showrunners will take them more seriously?

Weird how they're doing exactly what they keep saying buddie fans are doing (flooding every comment section, sending threats to the showrunners and cast,...) but for them it's somehow okay because they're stanning a white guy with a total of maybe 30 minutes of screentime (including the scenes in s2 where he was a bigot).

ETA because I just got an ask about it: screenshot under the cut!

[rosyhoneydew]

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Buddie ❅ G ❅ 1,202 words ❅ cw: N/A

Read below or on ao3

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow, and the couples we know are fondly kissing, will I be with you or will I be among the missing? 

Getting stuck with the New Year’s shift after working Halloween isn’t ideal, but at least it keeps Eddie busy. Every year, the majority of their New Year’s calls end up being one of three things: drunk people, fireworks, or drunk people with fireworks.

This year is no different. It’s fairly calm in the morning and afternoon hours. There’s a gas leak call that turns out to be a guy who forgot to open the flue on his new fireplace, and they take the medic out for a call around 4 pm, MVA, minor injuries only, but everyone knows they’re gearing up for the real show closer to midnight.

It’s a little after 11 that the alarm sounds, sending them rushing toward Marina Del Rey for a disturbance. Some kid brought their own fireworks to set off, knowing the crowds would be there waiting for the show. Bobby tells them they’re headed toward a park where onlookers have gathered for the night.

“You say Burton Chace Park?” Chim confirms when they get in the ladder.

“Yeah,” Bobby confirms. “Fireworks are still actively discharging, and there’s a small fire at the perimeter of the park. It’s contained for now, but we’ve got to keep it that way and snuff it out before any civilians get hurt.”

“Bobby,” Hen chimes in, “our families are there.”

Buck’s head whips to Hen’s and Bobby turns back to look at them all.

“Maddie?” Buck asks.

Hen nods, “Maddie, Karen, they’re both there - got sitters for the night. They wanted to get a good spot to watch the show together with me and Chim working.”

“Okay, let’s not panic before we know what we’re headed into,” Bobby says. “Dispatch said the fire isn’t growing for now and they didn’t call in any injuries. Let’s focus on what we’ve gotta do.”

Eddie watches them nod their agreement, noting the way Buck’s face turns serious, fixed in concentration.

It takes them 10 minutes to get through traffic, it should take them 6 but the roads are packed.

They find the guy right away, Athena’s already got him over by her cruiser and is talking him through the dangers of setting off scores of illegal explosives, no matter how cool you want your friends to think you are. The kid can’t be older than 17.

Eddie shakes his head and sends a silent ’thanks’ to the sky that Chris turned out smarter than that.

He spots Karen and Maddie too, hands holding each other’s as they watch on with light concern. Eddie thinks about what Chim had said the other day, about how Maddie’s been so glad to have Karen to lean on for support, and how Hen had said they’d felt the same way about Chim and Maddie. His friends are lucky to have that. He’d do anything to have someone like that, a true, unwavering partner.

He shakes himself out of the thought and listens in as Bobby sends him and Buck to the perimeter fire with hoses to douse it once Chim clears a path through the crowd. The two of them get to work, each taking up a spot and working to get the fire down to smoldering embers. It doesn’t take too long, they’d gotten there fast and dispatch had talked the caller through making sure things didn’t get out of hand.

It’s maybe 30 minutes later that they’re packing up their equipment at the truck and shedding the turnouts that they’d thrown on mostly as an extra precaution.

Eddie and Buck hurry back out to the front of the park where the rest of the crew are waiting. Athena and Maddie and Karen are there too, chatting all together and keeping one another close now that everyone’s okay and accounted for.

The noise around them changes then; it shifts to something more coordinated. It’s people shouting, “Twelve! Eleven!”

Eddie looks around them, Bobby’s got his arm around Athena, pulling her close and leaning into her, chanting along. Hen and Karen are holding hands, and Maddie and Chim aren’t too far from them. Their eyes are set on each other, and they’re mumbling low and close to each other something that Eddie can’t hear.

It’s sweet, the way they all have each other. It makes him think about what he has, what he’s thankful to have this year. It pops into his mind then. The person he’s most grateful to have, the one he wants to spend his holidays with, the only person in the world that he wishes he was holding that like is… it’s…

“Nine! Eight!”

He turns to Buck, whose eyes are locked on the scene in front of him. He looks… not envious, but something sweeter. Wistful. Eddie takes a few steps to close the gap between them.

“Hey,” he pats Buck’s shoulder.

“Seven!”

Buck looks at him, head tilted a bit to show he’s listening. Eddie holds out his hands, palms up, should we? it says.

“Six! Five!”

Buck laughs and looks away for a blink before turning back to Eddie.

“What?”

“Come on,” Eddie says.

“Four! Three!”

Eddie leans in, two hands on either side of Buck’s face. He watches Buck inhale sharply, eyes darting all over Eddie’s face in a split second. They land on his mouth, both of their faces coloring in bashfulness.

“Two! One!”

Eddie closes the distance so his lips are brushing Buck’s, and kisses him. He catches Buck’s top lip in the soft press, the roaring cheers around them fading into nothing in the moment. When their lips part with a soft click neither of them moves very far. Buck moves one hand to Eddie’s waist and the other to his neck, his thumb settling just by his ear.

Buck leans in again, kissing Eddie with more intent, more fervor, tilting Eddie’s head back and opening his mouth, fitting their lips together over and over again. There are fireworks sparkling in the sky all around them, Eddie can see the change in the light even with his eyes closed. He lets Buck lead, moving their heads this way and that to deepen the angle with every kiss. Eddie licks his tongue forward to meet Buck’s, feeling a spark from inside of him this time as they brush.

It feels so good. It feels like letting go, like jumping into the ocean on a scorching day, it feels like relief. They pull back when a particularly large firework shoots into the sky, sending a boom through the park that they can almost feel.

Buck smiles at him, wide and giddy. Eddie’s sure he’s no better, his eyes won’t leave Buck’s and his cheeks are sore. He licks his lips and watches Buck’s eyes dart there, then watches him make the quick decision to lean in for another peck or two… or three. It makes Eddie laugh, the easy way Buck falls into this. It makes him happy - happier than he’s been in a long time.

“Happy New Year,” Eddie says against Buck’s lips.

“Happy New Year, Eddie.”

[eggo-da-axolotl]

chapter 1 of Opposites attract <3

Thursday morning a certain blue meme guardian woke up feeling.... Happy ? No that wasn't it and he brushed it off and started cleaning the castle because his friends and smg3 were coming over! He checked the calendar and it was the 23rd of May so he started to clean and what not and his phone started to beep and he opened the group chat with his friends!

*****************************

DA COOL GROUP

=============

Fish🐟: My cousin’s doing a back bend while watching little bus

Squid🦑: Good for you boopkins

Gamer girl🎮: What

Maryo🍝: GUS I CEE DAT PIZLE GIY

Ex-enemy🟣: Guys what is Mario talking about-

Everyone: idk-

*****************************

Smg4 chuckled a bit then put his phone down and continued cleaning and after a bit he heard a knock at the door. He opened it and saw.... Smg3....?

3: hey Smg4..?

4: hey 3 your um here early?

3: wdym I thought u said 3:30-

4: it's 2:30-

3: what. Oh crap my clocks one hour behind I'll just go-

4: no it's OK you can stay

3: really-

4: yea u can help me set up

3: sure!

4: your so tsundere smg3

3: s-shut up baka!

Smg3 and Smg4 were cleaning while a certain.. TV host.. Was in his studio...

Mr puzzles: UGH I GIVE UP ON THESE 5 STARS

He would throw papers against the wall in rage

Mr puzzles: I think it's time I get a job...

He would go on his computer and look for places hiring.... That won't be important

Right..?

Anyways let's go back to the ga- I means guys

3: crap I forgot my gift for the white elephant

4: go get it I'll finish cleaning and the others should be here soon

3 would leave and the others would starts arriving...

Boopkins: hiya smg4!

Meggy: Hey guys

Tari: hello!

Melony: hi!!!

Bob: WhAtS uP gAnG

Mario: HEY ES M GEE 4

Saiko: こんにちは(hello)

4: hello everyone! Meggy: um smg4 isnt someone missing

4: oh yea smg3 said he'd be here any minu-

Smg3 would arrive

3: h-hey guys

he'd be out of breath from running

Everyone would say hi

4: come on giys lets go to the gamimg room and we can start the white elephant!

They would all go to the gaming room and there would be 9 gifts in the middle of the circle

4: ok guys pick a number from the hat and thats the order your going in

They woukd all pick numbers from the hat and the order would be

1 mario

2 meggy

3 bob

4 boopkins

5 melony

6 smg4

7 saiko

8 tari

9 smg3

4: let's start!

Mario would open a gift and there would be spaghetti..?

Mario: OMG I GOT A RESERVATION AT SPAGHETTI PLACE!!!

Meggy: um mario its says an italian restaurant but ig they have spaghetti there-

meggy would go next and get a beanie

Meggy: aww this is so cuteee

After a while bob would get a manga book which he was mad about boopkims ofc took the book from bob then bob got another gift and got a gun, melony would got a pokemon plush and then it would be smg4s turn amd he would get a... Mysterious pink potion..?

4: what is this-

Boopkins: i took some potion making classes!

4: what does it do..?

Boopkins: idk

4: Uh- anyways lets continue anyways Saiko its your turn!

Saiko: ああ、かわいい桜のピン(aww cute cherry blossom pin)

Tari would get a duck and smg3 would take the last one and would get a hoodie.

After a few hours everyone except Smg3 had left...

3: i bet u 20 bucks u wont drink the potion

4: wanna bet

3: bet.

Smg4 would grab the potion and start chugging it and would be empty in a few seconds.

Unknown to smg3.... smg4s eyes would have a hue of........ Pink?

3: dang i didn't think you would actually do it-

Smg3 would be getting his money out when smg4 would stop him.....