#30 ISN'T THAT FUCKING OLD

[clementimetodie]

increasingly want to kill older women who try to make women in their late 20s feel old for no fucking reason

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

jonah magnus is a massive britney spears fan and if martin hadn't distracted him during the unknowing he would've been up in his office, watching everything go down, listening to circus.

[pinkhysteria]

bbtwitter be normal about rubina challenge: failed over and over and over and over again

[acespeon]

I love both Stan twins but fandom really takes the Filbrick way of thinking wrt how smart Stanley is

[touhouweed]

Hey so some mid 30s youtuber named Sai Scribbles is pissed at me because I pointed out how its weird as hell that shes in her mid 30s (edit: sorry, 40s) and trying to justify calling people retards, and now she's trying to get harassment thrown my way

Being a youtuber just seems like such an emotionally fulfilling career, doesn't it?

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[atypical-artisan]

Heartbreaking News:

Someone who's art you think/thought was neat hates you cause you enjoy a ship.

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

i have an appointment with the endometriosis psychologist tomorrow morning to find out if i'm clinically depressed or fatigued and i know it won't happen but part of me is worried she'll just go "oh there's nothing wrong with you"

and what do i do then ???

[anothermonikan]

Y'know yeah I think Medic and Heavy are gay on purpose. I don't think it's a fanon thing. I think Valve intended them to be queer. Yeah

[thedreadvampy]

Last night this 18 year old was like. REALLY aggressively flirting with me. And I am always awkward with flirting and also like I am reasonably sure that you are an infant child so not really interested.

but like we were talking about flagging as a top or bottom and she was like so HYPOTHETICALLY if you DID have a carabiner on what side would it be on and I was like I mean idk vers tending bottom? no actually. vers tending top I just find bottoming easier cause I only recently got out of the headspace that sex is like. a thing that happens to you.

and she was like OH THAT'S REALLY SAD yeah I'm glad I got past that it's probably cause I started so young lol

and like not to read this random teenager for filth on the internet but babe based a) on that, b) on the aggressiveness with which you're flirting with everyone and saying loudly how you just Keep Having Sex By Accident While High, c) literally every part of your 18 year old vibe, I am going to say with 99.999999% certainty that

you have not yet figured out the difference between being attracted to people and thinking that sex is your core value/a thing that happens outside your control

you are not past that point

it will probably be several years before you begin to fully realise how not there you are

see this is why I'm not on the team many of my friends are (which is that it's fine to flirt back and kiss people in bars who might be way younger than you but not to sleep with them or get into relationships). and it's not (just) because I'm on a moral high horse or I'm scared of directly harming them, it's mostly that it is deeply unsexy to look your past self dead in someone else's eyes and be like "well regardless of how I act in this moment, you are going to be doing a Lot Of Unpacking of this part of your life over the next 10-15 years"

[iwonderwh0]

If there's one thing to thank anti hankcon discourse it's for the folks around their thirties gathering to tell the teens that they are, in fact, adult enough to decide for themselves who to fuck with and that they do, in fact, find older people attractive.

(And also collectively asking folks in their teens-to-early 20s to stop using the word p*dophilia when talking about literal 30+ years olds.)

Like really, throwing this words in relation to adults downplays its actual weight in its actual fucking meaning, and this is really scary. Age gap might be a controversial topic but not anywhere near it is a matter of comparable scale to what the word ped*philia stands for. Don't turn this word into a buzzword, I'm begging you.

[p2ii]

we need more old man/woman fucker to be posting about the REAL hottest one piece characters

[running-in-the-dark]

ooooh. we got an apartment!!!

the house isn't completely finished yet so we can't move in until April. we'll have to figure that out. but that's fine. it's in the town where my husband works! which is amazing.

[mooseyspooky]

I'm having to rewrite a smut scene in vampire Johnny to better match the vibe of what's going on in the rest of the scene, so here is the cut snippet for those interested:

Because this bed is where Andy and I fucked. It's where we slept. It's where we hid out when the world was too much for us. The last time I saw him had been in this room. Steven's scent, his presence, all felt so out of place. Like a phantom in a faded old photograph. 

“Steven -” I murmured, shutting my eyes. “I…I need to change the sheets first. If that's alright.”

Steven gave me a perplexed look then silently rolled himself off of me. I hurried out of the room and went to get fresh linens out of the closet down the hall. Once the sheets were changed, I took them down to the kitchen and put them in the wash so I'd not be bothered by the scent of them anymore. Though a part of me wanted to rip them right back out and keep them safely stowed away in my tomb. 

I headed back up to Andy's room and found Steven sprawled on the bed with his hand on his stomach. His face was flushed, and his cock was straining up through his jeans, so I knew he'd been touching himself. Though I wasn't particularly surprised. He'd been randy since I woke up. 

I sat myself on top of him and playfully wriggled my arse down until he started to moan. “Yeah? You need it? You need me to touch you?”

Steven let out a desperate sound, and I suddenly realised he was about to come. I wasn't sure how I knew that, exactly, but I figured it was something to do with the binding ritual. Arousal was as intense an emotion as fear was, after all. 

I lifted myself up so he could breathe then started tugging my shirt off. The buttons kept slipping from my fingers so I yanked it over my head and onto the floor along with my undershirt. I rolled over onto my back to get my jeans off, but Steven pinned me and began to kiss along my shoulder. I wrapped my legs around him with a loud moan then tilted my head to the side so he could have better access to my neck. 

The two small scars there, from where I was turned, were especially sensitive, and when Steven sank his teeth into them, I felt my eyes roll back. My cock let out a sudden jet of precome, and I frantically twisted myself up against him for more. 

“Fuck -” A loud buzzing started up in my ears when he did it again, and I blindly tore at my jeans until they were out of the way. I tried to get a hand around my cock, but Steven knocked it away. “I gotta - I gotta come.”

Steven gave me a knowing look as he slid down between my thighs. He pressed his tongue right against my slit, and I couldn’t push him away. I couldn't do anything. My neck was burning. My stomach was tight. I was so fuckin’ close - 

“Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck!”

Steven wrapped his mouth around me as I began to come, and in no time at all he started to go lax and loose. I shakily wiped up the mess dripping from his lips and sighed.  

“I told you not to do that, didn't I?” I rumbled, my body still trembling. My cock hadn't gone soft yet, either, and I gave it a few slow pulls just to tease myself. “Just look at the state you're in.”

[unmotivational-motivation]

do people still get in alternate state of consciousness together and decide to start bands not knowing a single instrument?

like hey we should start a band and the rest of the night is spent working out who plays what? and then they go to like a pawn shop (i'm old okay) or whatever is used now for the old-timey equivalent of newspaper classifieds is and then buy instruments and start to learn to play together - poorly at first? or was that something that ended in 2008?