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twig-tea · 1 year ago

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My Ride Re-Watch Self-Reflection

This is going to be self-indulgent and long, apologies in advance!

Something you need to know about how I watch shows: I care the most about character arc. I prioritize character arc over plot holes, pacing, and possibly even politics. This is not an endorsement for watching shows this way AT ALL and it certainly isn't a moral judgment on any viewers that do or don't do this, it's just how my brain is wired (and it's not an objective judgment on shows, either! Not every character actually needs to grow--even though typing that out is giving me hives lolol). So when a character does something that I think is either out of character or unearned by the narrative, I get annoyed; if they don't change or they keep making the same mistakes I lose interest; and if a character arc is awesome, I forgive a lot of things that can make shows unwatchable to other people.

I watched My Ride as it aired in 2022 and I was so in love with that series, it was poised to become a favourite. I was so burnt out on series that had a misunderstanding leads to breakup in the second-last ep, and this show has sidestepped that with the conversation about Khai by having Mork insist on talking right away! Plus Tawan, through the entire fiasco with Por, was always direct, he didn't run from Por and he didn't ignore his own suspicions or jump to conclusions, he sought Por out to ask directly: "Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Are you seeing someone else?" I loved both Tawan and Mork so much, they clearly deserved one another and deserved happiness.

And then at the end of ep 9/start of ep10, Tawan sees Mork hug Fern and runs away, quits his job before he finishes his certification and internship?! And Mork is the one who the narrative seems to think has to prove his commitment to their not-yet-a-relationship when he's been the one committed this whole time? I had 2gether flashbacks and I did not like it. I didn't like either side couple's resolution, I didn't like that Tawan had regressed in a way that didn't feel (to me, at the time) earned, and I didn't like that Mork didn't have any (again, to me at the time) character growth.

So I never rewatched it. I remembered the first 9 eps fondly, loved so much of what the show had in it, especially Cheep and Dej and the characters of Mork and Tawan, and recommended it when it came up, but always hesitated to put it on a favourites list, and I struggled with the ending and how I felt about it--at least partially because I suspected it was a me thing rather than a show thing. And then, after La Pluie, I realized this screenwriter was good and trusts their audience and I should give it another chance and maybe pay more attention. Plus the re-airing was perfectly timed to start. So I've been (mostly) quietly watching again, and whew I'm so glad I did.

I still don't love the side couples, lets get that out of the way lol [if you don't want to think about these storylines, skip this and the following paragraph]. I think Boss is neurodivergent-coded and you don't get "over" neurodivergence through force of will (at least, not without burnout). Thinking about this couple through the lens of Semantic Error, which you could argue is very similar on paper, Toy tries to pull Boss out of his carefully constructed world, while Jaeyoung tries to make space for himself in Sangwoo's world while doing his best to follow Sangwoo's rules (though he definitely pushes--but contrast Jaeyong moving a single pen to Toy throwing whole shelves of books to the ground). If My Ride had shown that Toy didn't need Boss to completely change, and had them find a way of working through Boss' and Toy's needs to find a new normal together, I would have been much more comfortable with this story. On rewatch, I will say that Toy's initial bribery attempt was not as bad as I remembered, but that man needs to keep his hands off those bookshelves, and the show needs to stop scaring Boss in order to give Toy one redeeming thing to do, as @callipigio said that was not cute.

As for the hets, the only thing I picked up on rewatch that I didn't appreciate the first time was that despite her confidence, Nadia was also not used to being chosen by the men in her life, and so when she saw Mayom had options after coming back from Japan, she assumed he would choose anyone else and that's why she was so upset. And so, the reveal that he got this attention because he was trying to meet her expectations, and that he was thinking of her in Japan and bought her a souvenir, showed he did put her first and did choose her. I just wish Nadia had suffered longer by seeing Mayom being appreciated for the hot, talented, and kind man he is, and had visibly learned something or changed in any way because of it. I don't think she has a satisfying character arc and so I didn't like this story. [again: this is just my taste! Not every story needs to contain personal growth! I am not advocating for this to be seen as a moral judgment! It just means this story was not satisfying for my brain because of it.]

Ok, Mork and Tawan time. This time, on rewatch, I picked up on hints they dropped earlier; that Mork struggled more than I noticed the first time with his bisexual awakening; that Mork didn't like how he hadn't gone to college or university, but he had been willing to make that sacrifice for Fern. How Tawan really missed his family and wanted to eventually practice medicine in Chiang Mai. How Tawan only ran from Mork and Fern after Mork described their relationship as work buddies [he not only calls them friends, he backtracks and says "not even really a friend, I know him from work"! And as @sparklyeyedhimbo pointed out in their rewatch, Mork had literally asked Tawan to co-parent just the day before, so the messages were extremely mixed]. All of this feeds into what happens in eps 9-10.

[Mork you were like this even when you were just "workplace associates", stop this foolishness]

Firstly, the timeline of ep 9-10 struck me on this rewatch in a way it didn't when watching the first time. If I'm not wrong, Tawan was already mostly burned out; his heartache led him to use up his accumulated vacation to go home to Chiang Mai, but then came back after just a few days because Mork missed him; then went to see Mork while he was still on vacation, got shocked by the existence of Mork's kid, spent a day or couple of days with them, then made study materials for Mork and Khai (likely because he knew he wouldn't have much time in the future) and then got surprised again by seeing Fern--this would I think still be during the week of his vacation? At that point, he just wanted to go back home to once again lick his wounds but his vacation was over and he had none left (he told us he used it all when talking to his parents at dinner). So in that context, actually, quitting as an instinct makes a bit more sense--I've actually been there, at one point I was going to burn out and put in my notice, and my boss stepped in and told me to take leave instead. I'm really glad his advisor was able to do the same thing my boss did for me, and talk him out of quitting but encouraging him to take leave instead so that he could go home without messing up his future.

And in paying better attention, I realized this time around that for Tawan, going back home rather than confonting Mork both made sense and was good for his character arc. Before this, he'd clearly not been visiting home at least partly because he kept taking shifts for friends, and partly to make time for Por; so after giving up some of his time in Chiang Mai to be with Mork, it makes sense he'd want to be there when he thought he might have read Mork wrong after all. And Tawan pushing and pushing Por to get answers blew up so badly in his face last time, that retreating rather than confronting Mork actually does make sense in context. Also, like Tawan said to Nadia, he was tired of not being put first, and when Mork didn't go after him outside the garage after Fern called him back, Mork had put Fern first in that moment. And up until then the only confessions Tawan (and the audience) has gotten from Mork were in Mork's imagination; he'd flirted but not actually said anything concrete aloud. So Tawan needing something more from Mork to prove that Mork actually does feel the way he's been implying, and he would put Tawan first, is fair and fits what took place in the show, actually--my past self was I think applying an unfair lens on this as a point of convenient dramatic tension. Finally, I realized on this rewatch that Tawan leaving without saying anything, after he knew Mork panicked last time and specifically told him not to do that, could be read as Tawan being a little bit selfish, actually, (which as @bengiyo said these two characters could use more of), and leaving to be chased after could be seen as Tawan (at least subconsciously) indulging a self-indulgent impulse. Having thought that through I now appreciate it as an action of his character arc rather than resenting it.

And now we get to Mork's character arc. Because Mork is already the best boy, so what could his character possibly stand to learn?

This was my thinking on first watch, but on rewatch I think he demonstrates that he grew in a few ways. First, he goes through the self-realization and acceptance of loving another man. I didn't give that journey enough credit the first time around.

Secondly, he re-orients himself after a breakup from a relationship that spanned multiple years. I know a lot of people saw the petrol/gas analog by Dej as learning to love men instead of women, but I saw it as learning to love Tawan rather than Fern--because they are two different people, and they have different things they need from you, and he has all of these learned patterns from his relationship with Fern that he has to unlearn, including putting her feelings first. Going back to the moment when Mork doesn't go after Tawan, if you accept my reading of Uncle Dej's advice, Mork's choice not to go after Tawan but instead to stay with Fern is contextualized through this conversation as Mork falling into old habits and putting Fern's wants and needs over all others including his own. He then corrects this by not agreeing to get back together with her, but not until promising to always be her smile--in other words, he's still struggling with reorienting himself in terms of who Mork is in relation to Fern when not her boyfriend. [This also makes Dej's pointed comment about gas being cheaper than petrol a pointed jab at Fern and her demands of Mork's money specifically, which the petty part of me enjoys.]

Mork also faced his fear of heights for Tawan, though he did that before he even acknowledged he had feelings, so I'm not sure I'm counting that as anything other than Mork continuing to be the best. But when, on the mountain, Mork finally says aloud the thing he's been daydreaming about for at this point months, this is definitely character growth and feeds into my first part about Mork struggling with his feelings for a man. I realized on this rewatch that Mork always talks about his feelings for Tawan as a hypothetical or a question--"Do I like him?" "Could we be together?" "If I do like him, what should I do?" He doesn't state his feelings as a statement except in his imagination (I think--may need to rewatch again to confirm), until the confession on the mountain. So, as @lurkingshan pointed out in her post, My Ride also makes the same point as La Pluie that clear, verbal communication is key to a relationship.

Mork also gets to be a teensy bit more selfish near the end, which I didn't really clock the first watch-through. When Tawan explains why he thought about quitting and how he wanted to relocate to Chiang Mai so that he could help take care of his mother, Mork's wheels started turning and he began planning for their future together up North--again this is not new, Mork planned his future with Fern and her goals in mind so it makes sense he'd be planning his future with Tawan in the same way. Because Mork is best. But! This time he includes in his future plans his goal to get a degree and open a garage of his own. I love this, it's such a small victory but I think it's important for his character that the thing he's seemingly regretted most about his choices (giving up on his own chance to go to school) and that he did for someone he loved (putting them through school) is now something he's doing for himself (as well as for his shared future with his partner). And this also reflects Mork internalizing Dej's point about how he's got to recalibrate--because what Tawan needs from Mork is not the same thing as what Fern needed from him, and these different circumstances allow him to adjust his future plans and fit in his own dreams. Love that for him.

I love that we get the timeskip to see a glimpse into their future, beyond it just being so sweet, it allows us to see the ways in which they've fit together, and how their relationship is not perfect--Tawan forgets their anniversary, Mork is trying to establish himself in a small community that probably does not open easily to outsiders--but it's balanced in that they support each other to make up for one another's weaknesses (Mork doesn't actually care and is happy to be the one who remembers these things; Tawan is happy to pay for the restaurant).

I didn't say anything about the Tawan/Por relationship above because I didn't really catch anything new on rewatch, from the get-go I thought it was so well done. Por is believably self-absorbed and Tawan really does such a good job of trying to do everything right. He talks to him directly and listen to his own instincts, but is surrounded by people (Por, Nadia, Mork) who tell him to let it go and ignore the signs. I continue to love to hate Por. This thread is a little unresolved because Por comes sniffing back around Tawan's ward, but we didn't really need to see Tawan reject Por, which I appreciated as the show writing him off as not a threat. I did pick up more on the glimpses of the kindness that La Pluie shows its female characters in how Fern is treated; Fern is shown to be selfish and materialistic, but also legitimately struggling with their life as-is, and by showing her trying to get Mork back, at least it gives her the credit of letting her realize what she was missing when it was gone. I'm glad La Pluie went further with keeping Nara complex and human.

Finally, I have to shout out how much love this show has for queer community and found family. Cheep and Dej give Mork and Tawan and even Fueang a safe haven to come to when they're hurt and confused, and they give so much advice. Everyone else has said it (I know @chickenstrangers mentions how special it is in their rewatch but I'm sure others have too) but it's worth repeating how much of a difference this makes for these characters.

Fueang and Mork also give one another advice and support, and I think it works well in the show that actually both Fueang and Mork can mostly just give support and some generic advice, but they can't speak from experience the way Cheep and Dej can. Still, the motorcycle gang support Fueang, and then Mork, in getting their respective partners. Tawan's sister knows exactly what is going on and gives Mork a challenge to make sure he's good enough for her brother. Fueang and the gang also show up in Chiang Mai because they're so sure their bro is going to mess up his confession, and then they cheer on the kiss when it does go well.

Mork taking on Khai as his own child when his brother failed to step up is also a beautiful reflection of the love and care his uncles gave to him and modeled for him; he clearly sees them as parental figures and was able to imagine himself as a parent to Khai because of it--and he never questions whether his getting together with a man would have a bad influence on his nephew/adopted son, the way we see Jim struggle with this in Moonlight Chicken, for example. More queer elders in stories please and thank you!

I feel so much less conflicted about this show now that I've gone through this exercise. Feel free to tell me if you think I got too far in my head and overanalyzed lol I'm always open to being told I'm now adding things that aren't there. I just really needed to deconstruct why I had issues last time and what changed for me when I paid more attention. Also, this experience makes me want to binge Step by Step to see if it makes a difference in how I feel about the ending to that show...but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

And if you read all that, you're awesome.

#my ride the series #my ride rewatch 2023 #typed so i can stop thinking it

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