#27 months hrt

[tboyfag]

shot #20 and a little over 4 months on t 🤓

[olivia-is-not-a-slut]

Happy tgirl tummy tsunday-re!

its tgirl tummy tsunday-re

[ashen-vulture]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[b0tster]

Resonating with all these trans posts, clicked i was trans when I was about 26-27 aft probably 10 years of having a multitude of excuses for why I couldnt possibly be. Been on HRT for 10 months now, don't know where this is all going but just feeling at peace with myself has been such a game changer, even though I have a lot left to do.

More on topic, all these different experiences are so cozy to read about, loving this outpouring and glad you've found yourself as a platform for it all. You're good people bunlilth love what you do

it just goes to show HOW IMPORTANT it is to let our voices be heard, irl and reflected in media! just knowing that theres a culture out there for other trans ppl to join is so important!!!

[aeondusk]

pmmm spinoff where a depressed trans girl a few months on hrt wakes up to find an incubator in her apartment. The incubator insists she’s a teenage girl but she’s like 27. Currently stuck on what she wishes for, since it needs to be appropriately fucked up y’know. Perhaps wishing to pass but realizing how little that actually helps without denying who she is? What powers would that give her?

How do the teenage magical girls react when this grown adult twice their age shows up. Does she try to grind out grief seeds for several days straight like it’s an MMO, blasting back energy drinks. Drinking Monster should darken a soul gem.

Does she do the homura thing and buy a gun. Do her magical girl younger sisters ask her to buy them age restricted things. Are people suspicious of her for being friends with kids? I can’t stop thinking about this concept

[noellezoenoodle]

I watched I Saw The TV Glow, and it wrecked me like a truck

// spoilers for aforementioned movie and trigger warning for existential dread and religious themes

It all started in July with my 23rd birthday; even if it was an eventfully slow year, I still felt disconnected and dissociated, as if I was on another kid's birthday, born on the same day. I'm not out as a trans-woman to my family. I can't come out to them; this wasn't new. But I was getting tired of it; the idea of celebrating another year as another person was painful, hurting me mentally, on some days, even physically.

Before I knew it, another month passed by. I felt that time was going faster, that I threw away my youth, that soon I was going to be 27, 30, 60, and that I'd be dead before I could even know. I felt like I was dying, but the only thing I could do was scream for help. I yelled to somebody to save me, anybody from family, my friends, even Adonai; all who answered, but none could help me from decaying; even with my restored faith, I still felt hollow, as if my soul was nowhere to be found.

One day, while I was on my way to work, I made an appointment at a gender clinic. I knew what was affecting me, but I didn't call sooner because I was afraid of losing my family and my blurry future, Afraid of losing the harrowing comfort that normalcy brought to me. But I couldn't live like this anymore; I was willing to lose all that instead of living in a purgatory.

When I watched "I Saw The TV Glow" at the start of September, I not only saw my reflection through a black mirror, I saw my fears, my past, my present, and what-could-be future. I felt like Tara and Isabel seeing their life passing through a TV show, shattering me when the screams of existential dread came at the end; to say that this movie made me bawl my eyes out would be an understatement. I watched it at the right time in my life, and if there were ever a movie I needed to see, it would be this one.

It didn't feel like a wake-up call; by the time I watched it, I'd already made an appointment at the clinic. But it was a congratulatory message, validating my decisions. My first appointment will be in November. I know that HRT won't completely fix my chronic anxiety and make my fears go away. I know I'm going to struggle socially and financially for the rest of my life, but that won't matter because, for maybe the first time in a long time, I'll feel alive.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Greetings and salutations! Most people writing in say that it’s their first time doing so. I admit, that isn’t quite the case for me. I sent in a letter back in 1942, asking about whether or not I should medically transition—though of course the terminology was a bit different then.

I admit, I don’t remember the specifics of your response, but whatever it was, within twelve months I was taking testosterone pills. And I’ve been on HRT since then! It’ll be eighty years come January. I suppose I’m what you might call an elder in the community, though I certainly don’t look it.

That’s sort of why that I’m writing to you again. As you know, most genuses age getting older, but some age getting younger. My genus, whatever it is, does a combination of the two. I aged normally from when I was born til when I was 73. At that point, I died, spent about a day and a half decomposing, a day and a half un-decomposing, and then popped up out of my casket! My relatives were… surprised, to say the least. I think we all were. Regardless, I grew younger at the same rate until I was seven years and four months old, and then boomeranged and started growing older again. I’m currently in my third repeat of this cycle, putting me at about 375.

I don’t mind it, honestly. I know that a lot of folks who grow younger tend to dislike it, for very understandable reasons—being patronized by someone a fifteenth of your age is quite an experience. But aside from the condescension and not always being able to reach the top shelf, I think it’s pretty fun! Nothing beats hide-and-seek as a nine year old, and when I’m in the de-aging half of life, it’s always a relief to get my 30-year-old knees back.

There is another aspect to it, though. However my body ages, it de-ages in the exact same way, no more and no less. For example, let’s say I get a tattoo when I’m 27 years and two days old, while aging up. I’ll have that tattoo through when I die, and all the way back down to when I’m 27 years and 3 days old. It’ll disappear sometime during the following day, and by the time I’m 27 years and one day old, it’ll be like I never got it done. It’ll pop up again the next time I’m that age, but for those 40-ish years, I just won’t have it.

And attempts to change by body while I’m growing younger all vanish after the day—I’ve become very well-versed in wigs for this reason. I can change my body while aging up again (I don’t choose the tattoo example lightly; someday I’ll figure out a system that prevents me from getting overlapping ones), but it's a rather long wait.

Still, it’s primarily just a nuisance. I’ve had plenty of time to figure out workarounds and roundabouts. However. I’m almost 34 right now, and have about 14 months until I hit the date I first took testosterone. My boy-thday, if you will. Ahem. Anyway. For the past few years, I’ve been slowly but surely getting a body closer to the one I had when I started medically transitioning.

I’ve tried continuing to take T, consulting with other people who grow younger, even contracting time travelers to see what they could do, all to no avail. When these 14 months are up, I’ll have a form indistinguishable from the one I was so desperate to escape. From then, it’ll be about 20 years until I’ll have even a little-kid sort of androgyny again.

I have lived through this period in my life before. I’ve lived through it on five separate occasions. I will be alright. But every time, it hurts. Quite a lot. And I fear that these upcoming two decades will hurt even more, since I’ll know what it’s like to live without that underlying sense of constant pain.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m asking here, maybe you can tell me what my question is, but, um. Do you have any advice?

Thank you so much for writing in, reader. It's always lovely to hear from people who have found my advice helpful in the past, and I hope I can offer you the same comfort and support you felt in 1942.

An important thing to remember here is that, no matter what stage of life your body is at, it is still your body. To be clear: a trans body. Your physical appearance may seem to be resetting, but your life experience is not wiped out by each new cycle. You carry with you all your past experiences, and all your current perspectives.

You may or may not consider yourself to have been male during your first adolescence. The way we frame our own histories naturally varies from person to person, and not everyone retroactively identifies their younger self in the same way they identify in the present.

But regardless of how you perceive that earlier self, your current self is undoubtedly transgender. That doesn't change just because your body does. When your dysphoria starts to rear its head, hold onto that. Your body does not define your gender, and your identity is valid no matter what you look like.

Of course, you still need to find ways to manage that dysphoria when it happens. I'm sure you're well aware of your options for temporary, daily management of your appearance through wigs, gender affirming clothing, and so on. You might also consider applying a glamour to yourself to help your outward appearance more closely match your inner self.

If you're not a practitioner yourself, you can either use ready-made glamours or hire a practitioner to craft one to your own specifications. Even off-the-rack glamours can be expensive, however, so you may want to save this option for special occasions rather than daily use.

Beyond that, your best defences against the anguish of gender dysphoria are good mental and emotional health, and a supportive community. Be sure to practise regular self-care (real self-care, not the type invented to sell face masks and scented candles) and lean on your loved ones as much as you need to during this difficult period.

Finally, remember: your body is not the enemy here. You deserve to be treated with gentleness, love and kindness, and this extends to your physical self, too. Try to develop a practice of mindfulness and active gratitude, checking in with your body regularly and taking note of all the joys you can experience as a physical being, from enjoying the cold wind on your cheeks or the smell of clean bedding, to the delights of good sex, delicious food, or a hot shower after a long day.

This is a difficult time of your life, and you have my sympathy. But I don't believe it has to be a source of “constant pain”. Treat yourself kindly, let others support you, and know that no matter what the world perceives, you know who you are, and nobody can take that away from you.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[talisidekick]

you look diseased

Do I?

I'm 29, soon to be 30 on July 5th. I've only been on HRT for 2 years, 11 months, and 26 days, so barely started given puberty takes about 9 years or longer to see full effects. I started transitioning the 29th of June, 2021. That's 7 days before I turned 27. I'm post 12 rounds of lazer hair removal on my face and chest and I pluck the remaining hairs it missed atop still shaving. I don't wear makeup because I can't afford it. And the feminine clothes I have consist of:

6 bra's,

11 pairs of panties,

3 pairs of jeans,

1 skirt,

1 pair of leggings,

1 pair of tights,

2 sets of knee-high socks,

4 shirts,

1 pair of shoes,

and a jacket.

These were all donated or gifts because I can't afford my own wardrobe change. I largely still dress in boys clothes because I've had them since highschool. And given that, I have a Ko-fi link trying to raise money atop streaming to get thigh-highs and more clothes. I've promised to even model the clothes I can get through donations for free. Kind of hoping people like my thighs enough to help me out.

It's not going well though. Take a look:

I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. And if a lower-class poor girl struggling to get by while playing games on an 11 year old PC isn't your thing, then perhaps my content isn't for you.

Sorry I don't look middle-class plastic or model perfect. But that's not the bar to be a woman. People find me feminine, cute, likeable, adorable, and cool. I don't see it, buut for what my transition goals are ... I feel I'm close.

[ailurinae]

https://www.science.org/content/article/type-hormone-therapy-may-determine-whether-trans-men-continue-menstruate

If you haven't been to science.org in the past month you should get one free article and be able to read it. Also if you turn off Javascript, there will be what looks like the blocking banner, but you can scroll down and read it all. Key takeaway from this preliminary study:

A new study suggests the type of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be key. People using a gel or cream were 10 times as likely to continue to menstruate than those receiving injections, researchers report this month in the International Journal of Transgender Health.

Not too long though, full thing below the cut. And here is the link to the actual paper, open access: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/26895269.2024.2403140

Taking testosterone can help transgender men gain “masculine” traits: hairier bodies, deeper voices, and no more menstruation. However, for some trans men, menstruation continues during such treatment, a symptom called “persistent menstruation.” The reasons for this are poorly understood by both researchers and clinicians.

A new study suggests the type of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be key. People using a gel or cream were 10 times as likely to continue to menstruate than those receiving injections, researchers report this month in the International Journal of Transgender Health. The work could better help those with gender dysphoria—the mismatch between a person’s gender identity and the one they were assigned at birth.

“Previous data has been mixed about the relative impact of dosage, serum testosterone levels, and route of administration on cessation of menstruation,” says Andrew Fisher, executive director of the Trans CARE program at the University of Chicago, who was not affiliated with the study. “These researchers’ contribution to the literature adds to a growing body of knowledge that will eventually allow clinicians greater ability to tailor [HRT] to individual needs.”

The new research is part of TRANSform, a trans-led study in Australia that tracks the health of trans people ages 16 or older, focusing on topics the community has questions about, such as gynecological care for trans men. Researchers led by sexologist Sav Zwickl and endocrinologist Ada Cheung of the University of Melbourne collected survey data from transmasculine people who were being followed for pelvic pain. The researchers examined data related to the type and length of HRT and experiences of menstruation before and after beginning the therapy. If participants were on HRT for more than 6 months or didn’t experience menstruation before starting the treatment, they were excluded from the study.

The team selected 401 participants ranging from ages 16 to 62, with a median age of 27. Five participants reported themselves as intersex, meaning they had a variation of sex characteristics that didn’t fall into typical male or female classifications.

The age that participants began taking HRT and menstrual regularity prior to taking HRT didn’t matter—what did was the way they took medication. Testosterone HRT is typically offered as either injections or as gels or creams rubbed onto the skin daily. Consistently taking testosterone usually results in stopping periods by the 6-month mark. Although nearly 23% of the participants continued to menstruate after 6 months of HRT, those using gel or cream were 10 times more likely to have persistent menstruation than those taking injections.

The findings could help trans people and their clinicians make decisions about their treatment plan, Cheung says. The work, she adds, is especially important for those interested in halting their menstrual cycle, which contributes to gender dysphoria and distress for many.

Still, more experiments will be needed to confirm the results, Cheung and Zwickl say. Future clinical studies should test the blood serum levels of testosterone rather than relying on survey responses, they say. “The survey nature of this means it’s self-reported,” Zwickl says. “For those taking testosterone for longer, it might mean recollections of when their period stopped and their dosages aren’t entirely accurate.”

Fisher also notes that Australia and Europe use long-acting testosterone, which is chemically different than the testosterone therapies used in other countries including the United States and parts of South America. As such, he says, it’s unclear whether the results of the new study apply globally.

Still, Zwickl says the study is a good first step. They say the high response rate to the survey and the rapport the research group has built with the trans community in Australia allowed the team to be able to conduct such a large study in the first place.

“The field of trans study is in its infancy,” Cheung adds. “It’s useful for trans people to have these studies, to know what to expect from their treatments. And hopefully we’ll continue to build our knowledge base in this area.”

[eternal-nyx]

I started HRT!

Whew been a minute since I updated hunh? Well, it's been busy! I got approved to start testosterone HRT on September 25th, 2023.

I was surprised. I live in a bible belt, conservative, state and town. The trans health care here is.....the best word I have is mental whiplash. I started with a PCP at Medical Group A. He said he wasn't qualified for tran's or gender care and that no one in practice A was. He then said that there are rotating residents who DO the gender care and he put me on a wait list with them. I finally got to the appointment after a couple months and it was so easy. They used my chosen name and pronouns. They were respectful. Almost too respectful They tap danced around terminology to try to avoid offending me. It was......strange? Surreal? Twilight Zone? The Matrix? Either way. It felt very formal and professional and I do very much like the resident. It was just a very surreal experience.

But she was satisfied with our appointment and sent out the prescription the same day. She even tried to work with me when I voiced a desire to avoid injections if possible, but that I would take them if no other option existed. She tried hard to make the gel work, but in the end we went with the injections.

Then the next stage of trouble began. My normal pharmacy was out of the medication. It's a controlled substance in my state. So I called walmart pharmacy, but they were out of stock too. So was CVS, but at least they offered to order it if I filed it with them. I called a few other local pharmacies and FINALLY found one with the medication in stock. But everyone was closing so I had to wait until the next day to do the transfer.

I wake up the next morning and call to make the transfer, but because its a controlled substance, and I hadn't filled it before, they couldn't transfer it. My doctor would have to send it to the new pharmacy. So I made those phone calls and got that all set up. The next day it's FINALLY ready for pick up but my insurance won't cover it at this pharmacy. They run it on a discount card and get the price down to approx. $40 USD.

As a low income family we panicked briefly about how to afford the medication. We ended up having to charge it to our credit card. But we got it!

And on 9/27/2023 at noon I did my first self injection of Testosterone!

Day 1: No noticeable changes.

Day 2 9/28/2023 @8pm When I find alone time and find myself aroused, I have a daily habit to get into me and my fiance's shared toy box and do my thing. Well I did my normal thing today, and I noticed I could FEEL things with my fingers. So I did a LIL inspection and it was bigger. Not by a lot but I KNOW my anatomy, and my AFAB parts are heavily hooded and usually don't extend past the hood even when aroused. Today was different, and that is ALL I will say to anyone about my genitals. Then when all was done it was less plump, but still slightly larger than I am used to. I HAD MY FIRST ERECTION! And not only that, but I have growth!!!!!! On day fucking 2!!!! I'm gonna cry.

Also….It's itchy. And I seem to be unable to stop being aroused. Whoops.

--------------

I hope to do weekly check in's on my social media like tiktok and all of my blogs. The journey continues. Stay queer my friends.

Nyx [They/He/She]

[ascendantlizard]

Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility!!! 🏳️‍⚧️💚 I'm a bit late to the party, but that's pretty usual.

It's been almost 3 years since I first came out and I don't think I've done a transition timeline in all that time. This one is the first day I took HRT (7/27/21) to just last month (2/26/24). (Edit: I reversed the order.) If nothing else, I've gotten a little better at taking selfies in that time (I think).😅

I hope everyone had a wonderful day. I hope that the world becomes a kind enough place to let everyone be comfortable with who they are, and become who they want to be.

On a more personal/serious note.

I'm still looking for a job and looking to get out of my state. I'd be happy to start some remote work in web development (like I had been) so that I can move to another state with little issue. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

I'm currently living in Arkansas. That means, come the time I'll need to renew my license, it will only cause more complications with moving and getting a job. I'll be forced to change my gender marker on it back because of an order from the governor. Looking at other southern states, the laws can only get worse this year, even if the worst of it will ultimately get blocked.

I'd like to be more hopeful this year, but things aren't looking good. I really wish I could focus long enough to do more stuff for the community, like I'd planned, but I've actually had too much on my mind with wanting to get out.

I really really hope things get better for everyone. We'll get there, eventually.

[adamoonchild]

This is an old picture from 27. June 2019 

I was out as trans nonbinary but not on my workplace🫤, but this is how I enjoyed dressing in my spare time😊, it was damaging for my self worth having to hide on the job, but having free space to be my self after definitely helped me.❤️‍🩹

I used to be very neutral/“blending in style🧑🏼‍💼” or experiment with mix of very masculine and very feminine clothes together👩‍🎤 I’m a bit more “cute colorful punk femme style🧚‍♀️🧜‍♀️” today but you’ll see that in more recent pictures coming later on.

I still like how I looked in this picture😊 I can still see the sadness in my eyes🥲 and feel how I was more faking until i make it😐 where today I feel much more my self and if people don’t approve I don’t care because I’m happy.😁

Been 11 months on HRT🎉 so I’ve changed a lot since this picture and I feel strange looking at a person that’s familiar to me, but definitely doesn’t feel like me🤔

I’ll try do my best to catch up to more present time,🏃‍♀️ but I feel it important for understanding in my journey to be happy being me, where I come from🐣

Best of Wishes Ada💜

[cynnaminstyx]

Angry Gay Grandpa and the systemic suppresion of anti-trans & anti-lgbtq coverage.

tl;dr: just skip to the second-to-last paragraph if you don't want to know the details.

So, this is the only serious post I'm probably ever going to make, but I've decided to actually make my and other voices heard. I am a 16, soon to be 17 year old youth who is going to talk to my GP about Gender-affirming care and potential HRT. I, along with many of my friends, have been victims of anti-lgbtq harrassment and bigotry. Safe to say, I believe I can speak on this issue In Lancaster, PA, 5 trans and NB youths have taken their lives in the past 18-24 months (facts on this are limited given how little info is out there). The current state senator, Ryan Aument, is one of many conservative representatives who are pushing anti-lgbtq and anti-trans rhetoric and restrictive bills. On April 29th, In protest to the blatant disregard of the mental health crisis facing lgbtq youth, James Lantz, or "Angry Gay Grandpa", went to the Pennsilvania Statehouse to protest this by gluing himself to a railing. After 15 minutes he was unglued by a "capitol nurse" (I assume just the medical staff on site). He then proceded to loudly confront Senator Aument, allegedly tossing fliers out and wearing a shirt for "WHY DID 5 DIE.com". I cannot find this site, but he was wearing the shirt.

(Sources: https://epgn.com/2024/07/02/trans-youth-ally-james-m-lantz-faces-prison-after-gluing-himself-to-capitol-railing/ - https://pghlesbian.medium.com/asking-why-four-young-trans-people-have-died-by-suicide-in-lancaster-pa-pittsburgh-lesbian-db0daa169a38)

The arrest of James Lantz

After this, he was faced with 1 felony count of Criminal Mischief for "27,000$ in property damage", and 2 misdemeanor charges of institutional vandilsim and obstructing a government function. As far as I am aware a trial has yet to occur as he is still uploading to his youtube.

As of today, James Lantz has launched a program called Not Losing You, a "national PSA/commercial supporting trans and LGBTQ youth targeting battleground states in a vital election season". While he has tried to promote this on youtube, but was rejected because of "Shocking Content". Youtube defines shocking content as content with

profane or violent language

discriminatory terms or imagery

Gruesome or Graphic imagery

Gratuitous bodily fluids or waste

Promotions that are likely to shock or scare/promotions that are capitalizing on sensitive events

Scenes containing violent or graphic imagery

shots of violence or gore as a focal point

"other factors" (Source: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6362085?hl=en#:~:text=Here%20are%20some%20examples%20of,Gruesome%20imagery)

The shocking content in question? a 27 second piece of the video adressing the quadrupled rate of anti-trans bullying occuring in schools across america. This is an excellent example of corperate censorship, as he stated in his most recent video.

So, what do we do about this? To many I am a number or statistic. To some I am a friend, a stranger, or a lover. But we, as in everyone who sees this, can be part of something bigger than ourselves. If you see this, take time out of your day to listen to Angry Gay Grandpa and others who are speaking out against the systemic hatred in parts of society and the government. If you're feeling brave, go out and make some noise. Peaceful protests, letters to your local lawmakers, essay-lenght awareness pieces like this. Every little contribution, every voice in the chorus of the world, every person who has the gaul to speak out against this makes a difference. https://www.youtube.com/@AngryGayGrandpa

notlosingyou.com

[micahthemoon]

September 27 2024

I’m back to singing my voice out at a karaoke event (and celebrating the Bluza release day by playing a cover of it). I met a person there who’s a singer with transmasc friends, so she’s seen the effect of hrt happening before. Naturally we got to talk about the process of learning to use your new voice and what steps to consider taking. The funny thing was that she thought I was two years on t and seemed quite flabbergasted when I said I was only ten months in. New passing goal? /j.

[foxgirlsounds]

man

starting to feel miserable again. keep being reminded of my complete and utter failure to start my transition. I turn 27 in a week and still have nothing to show for it. I got on a waiting list for hrt months ago and never heard back

I’m stressed and only getting older. It’s already too late and it was too late years ago. My hairline is going away, and it feels like I’ve just let myself go. I’m not the same person I was years ago. I feel lazy, disgusting, and just sliding off the deep end until my own neglect takes me

[cyborg-hydra-girl-thing]

Monster

My grandma had a vision from god the night was born

“this child is the antichrist, and will destroy your entire clan from within”

antichrist, demon, monster

this was my name growing up.

I was named after my grandpa

“what’re you doing with MY name?” he’d say

never my own.

My father was an artist

he painted these massive gorgeous oil landscapes

My flesh was his favorite canvas

my blood makes the perfect shade of red

he’d scream monster, demon, why can’t you behave

bruises broken ribs and bullet wounds were ever present reminders of my sin of being being born wrong

My mother was an ER nurse

when I was too broken to do it myself she’d sew me back together

she’d ask “what did the monster do to deserve it this time?”

the first time i thought about killing myself i was 8

i thought about blinding myself at 10, just so somebody would notice “i’m not okay!!!!!”

existing as myself was monstrous, and monsters get round the clock beatings and hard labor, and chlorine gassed

that was when my mom finally decided this is too much

but the divorce, of course was my fault

look what you did to our family she said

look how your siblings weep, from the beatings you no longer shelter them from

look what the monster did

i was 14

the first time i attempted suicide i was 17

Mom asked if i needed more attention

then She kicked me out at 18

at 22 i kissed a boy

She said, “maybe you shouldn’t come home anymore”

at 23 i came out as nonbinary

at 25 I decided to get HRT

at 26 I did it

I survived 26 years of constant suicidal thoughts, and debates, and the ever present maybe it’s not really worth it

i have been on earth for 27 years

i have been alive for 6 months

and it turns out they were right

I am a monster

I’m the only monster CAPABLE of killing their little boy

and now his corpse is the fertile ground in which I’m growing into myself

loving myself, for the first time in my life

i can look in a mirror, shower with the lights on, wear clothes that show off my body, and i can do it all thanks to that little boy

my friends tell me i’m strong. but these cracks, fissures, gaping crevasses run so deep, they penetrate and poison my very marrow, and now I love myself, maybe, just maybe I can find enough love to start to mend those wounds too, like only a monster knows how