#26/12/2023
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Ce qui est difficile avec l’âge, c’est d’arriver à faire la paix avec ses désirs et ses passions, car si le corps s’abime et se délite, le cœur, lui, ne vieillit pas…
V. H. SCORP
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Nikon D300s; 1/30; F/2.8; ISO 2000; 36mm
26/12/2023
#Nikon D300s#1/30#F/2.8#ISO 2000#36mm#26/12/2023#Edited in RawTherapee#Edited using Affinity Photo 2.3#photography#art
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Richarlyson: You're skinny sir, are you eating well these days?
Pac: Not really. To tell you the truth, I've been eating... I stole, together with my son, we stole some cupcakes from the Federation. I ate some, but I know chocolate isn't the best thing to eat, right?
Richarlyson: 12 kilos D:
Pac: 12 kilos?!? No– what? My god. My god... Am I malnourished, Doctovo? Am I- Am I malnourished?
Richarlyson: You weigh less than a pitbull, sir.
Pac: Less than the singer? Damn... [Laughs]
Richarlyson: [Hits Pac]
#Pactw#Richarlyson#Pac#QSMP#November 29 2023#Thanks again to sebbs for checking my translation!#Been meaning to post this clip for months#I think about it a LOT#Pac's got a very interesting relationship with food I'll say that much#The fact that Fit's gift to him – out of everything he could've given him – wound up being an infinite chocolate bar speaks volumes too#especially when you take this (and other moments) into consideration#The nature of hunger and food in q!Pac's story is very interesting#anyways if you've read this far in the tags#There is a fic on Ao3 that talks about this very premise :)#Doctovo#BTW 12 kilos is a little over 26 lbs#I like to interpret this as Pac being 26 lbs underweight rather than him literally being 26 lbs#both aren't super realistic but that's more realistic than weighing 26 lbs lol#Anyways please let me know if this needs any TWs
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daily quest: Look at a beautiful piece of art and attempt to inhale or channel its energy into your body.
rewards: 15xp, 1d10 gp, +1 to status condition Inner Peace
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#jessie fleming#chelsea women#chelsea fcw#chelsea v everton#november 12 2023#chelsea wsl goals#13:26
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I ran away to Sacramento for the day. I parked where I always do . On or near 21st street close to lavender heights, the gay district.
Walking toward a favorite coffee house, Old Soul, formerly Weatherstone’s where I’ve done a lot of journaling through the years, I passed the above tent house on the 21st street island. For a homeless house, it was quite well equipped. I was surprised that they had the courage to set up in this neighborhood of old stately mansions. I had to get a shot of it.
I went to Old Souls and wrote for an hour or so.
Returning to my car, the police were there at the tent. Undoubtedly to force the tent people to leave.
As I got to the corner on 21st street Near where I parked my car, a 60ish man with shoulder length grey hair said “get rid of those fuckers”. He was referring to the police confronting the tent people.
The man assumed because I’m about his age and dressed like him that I was a homeless hater, too.
I was hurt by his comment and didn’t respond..
I’ve had many wonderful encounters with the homeless. They are human beings. The day here is cold and off and on foggy. The tent people deserve a warm safe environment. Why not the grassy island of 21st street?
The people from those Mansions should embrace and help the tent people. Instead, they force them forever away.
#homeless#homelessness in Sacramento#homeless haters#homeless and the police#homeless are human#12/26/2023
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日記にしなかった20
シュリーレン現象。ウイスキーのグラスの中で、
お洒落だねって感想は、お洒落じゃないので使わない
このまま明かないかもと思った夜に、ちゃんと眠気が訪れたことに安心して目を閉じる
相手のために嘘はつけるけれど、自分のためにはつけない
しゃらくせー。
説明を写真に委ねない。し��かり対象をみて、ひとつひとつ言葉にする。写真がなくても言葉だけで相手が想像できるように。でないと、頭が言葉が鈍っていく。
「楽しかったら払うし、気分良かったら奢ります」
地下鉄の暗い車窓を鏡にして、口紅を引く。
地下鉄で隣に座る女の人の手の甲に「ゲームかえす」とボールペンで書かれている
「人には人の乳酸菌、人には人の孤独」
順風満帆だと見えるその海面は酷く波立っている。
「みんな死にたくなるから4月は死月」
春の風は美味しいと誰かが呟いてて、なんとなくわかる気がする。
毎日、疾患のある人たちと接している。告知、余命、転移、進行。治療とは裏腹に、嫌な言葉を聞く。その人を知れば知るほど、がんなんかこの世からなくなっちまえと思う。「明日死ぬかも知れないし」って言葉よりも、今すぐに事故や急性心不全や脳血管障害で死んでしまうかも知れないと常に思っている。職場から離れても、ずっと死を身近に感じている。家族と恋人との過ごしていても、不意に死を予感して暗闇に引っ張られそうになる。その時が来るまで謳歌しようと割り切ることがいつまでもできない。きっと一生できない。
やっと声が出るようになった患者に「お前にはわからないだろう」と言われた。当たり前だ。背負っているものが違いすぎる。わからないよ。でも辛さの輪郭を想像することはできる。でも想像でしかない。毎日、これを行き来している。
「でも治療のために頑張ってきたじゃないですか」「でも急に全部辛くなる。頑張ることすら嫌になる」「患者さんが頑張りたくなった時は、一緒にまた歩けるように待つことしか、わたしたちはできないんですよね」と言ったら泣いていた患者。
令和6年6月6日、と書くたび仄かに気持ちがキラキラした。ぜんぶろく。
27歳ですと自己紹介している。本当は26歳。なんとなく自分がもう27歳な気がしている。
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I've put up a good fight with this over the past 2 years, but my brain simply cannot get over the trauma of being so sick on Christmas Eve/Day 2022. It has consumed every aspect of my life since then. Every single odd feeling in my gut, every food that "tastes weird" every recall I read about, every time someone says they feel sick or confirm that they or their child is actually sick, sends me spiraling into a contamination OCD nightmare.
I was smart and careful with handwashing, food choices, avoiding restaurants, take out etc. I don't gather in groups much anyways even prior to the pandemic, the very limited family gatherings I do have during the year, are the ones I am trying to stay healthy for.
I requested Christmas Eve off last year and everything went smoothly but my anxiety was high. It triggered an IBS flare up and some issues during the party (I was starting my period early and didn't know it so I panicked and thought I had norovirus again) I barely survived that night.
For 2024, I requested December 20th-25th off so I could hole myself up at my home and avoid people and places so I could be illness free for the big family Christmas Eve gathering. Everything was going smoothly with this until my boss's kid contracted a stomach bug and was sick on Monday 12-16 through Wednesday 12-18. Despite having 0 contact with her prior to this, I have been spiraling ever since. I feared she would get sick next (she didn't) but it's only been 5 days. I worked with her for two and a half hours on Thursday 12-19 and I avoided her like the plague. I got to leave early and start my PTO. (I would not be spiraling so hard these last few days if it wasn’t for this event) Every day since then I have sat here stewing in my own anxiety, eating only "safe foods", making my last trip to a store on the 20th, refusing to eat any of the food my parents made out of fear of illness.
All of this has been incredibly draining and difficult to maintain. This is the worst PTO I have ever used. I can't even enjoy it. Trying to avoid the most contagious, most violent, distressing sickness has been a battle. And I'm still not 100% safe in my crazy OCD brain. Thinking back to 12-24-22 and how things were so good and how quickly they spiraled into madness, the acute timing of it, hour by hour, how fresh and vivid the memory of that night is, and how my health has not been the same since is adding to the stress and anxiety. You do not simply "get over" a stomach bug these days. You are never "out of the woods" no matter how many days have passed since you think you've been exposed. I would trade so much to have the life back that I had prior to this.
It is frustrating to watch everyone around me eat restaurant food, eat more food choices than I can without a care in the world in regards to their health.
I should love the holiday. My regular depression was getting better before health anxiety consumed me. I should not be living like this. As a society we need to do better at curbing the risk factor and spread factor for gastrointestinal illnesses, especially around the holidays. I would even go so far as to say this is worse than COVID I had twice. I would rather have that!
All of this, all of this to deal with, to be exhausted by daily. I feel like I have been running a marathon at the start of every year and the finish line (if I am lucky) is a sickness free holiday. In parallel, I feel as if my entire life has been leading up to Christmas Eve and Day and I could be doomed or I come out unscathed.
The unknown is the bitch of it.
#personal#depression#health anxiety#emetophobia#I have tried so hard not to make this my entire personality#but I just can't#I can't go a single day without talking about it#PTSD#post infectious IBS#I have had 3 consecutive christmas eve's wrecked by something#2021 was a death#2022 was illness#2023 was a flare up and pre period sickness#can we make 2024 normal please#and I still can’t say that my boss won’t get sick because of her kid#it’s been almost a full week and he’s fine but she could be at risk#or doesn’t usually take a week for a stomach bug to hit especially since her kid was right with her#I feel like it would have hit her sooner right?#send help#this would be so much easier to deal with if we didn’t get together on the same day every year#I’d rather have anxiety about 12-26
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12/26/2023
Just in time for the new year, as of 7:00 pm EST we're trending in 8th! Merry late Christmas, everyone, and happy new year!
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Touche-moi, caresse-moi, embrasse-moi, qu'enfin j’existe…
V. H. SCORP
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Nikon D300s; 1/30; F/2.8; ISO 1400; 50mm
26/12/2023
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Screenshot: Blacklanderz
S03E11 Uncharted �� 26 November 2017 Official Script
Outlander Rewatch 2023 Countdown To Season 7
Favourite Word
What lass would lie wi' ye? Ye're like a tatterdemalion and smell of fartleberries. — Hayes
Screenshots: Outlander-Online
Favourite Line
His name is Fergus Claudel Fraser. — Jamie
Gifs: @moghraidhs
Favourite Image
Jamie hops out of the beached jolly boat (manned by Lesley, Hayes, Willoughby, Fergus, and Manzetti) and onto the shore where Claire launches into his arms. They hold each other. Both relieved, astounded and filled with joy to have found each other, yet again.
Gifs: @jamiedornaniseverything
Remember… Mac Dubh's wife turns up in the most unlikely of places, does she no? — Lesley
40th of 75 • Friday, 12 May 2023
#Tait rhymes with hat#Good times#Outlander#Rewatch 2023#Countdown To Season 7#S03E11 Uncharted#Aired 26 November 2017#Rewatched 12 May 2023
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Happy 2024
In 2023 I read the following books:
Monterosso mon amour, by Ilja Leonard Pfeijfer
The Langauge of Thorns, by Leigh Bardugo
Renegades, by Marissa Meyer
Heartstopper, by Alice Oseman
The Lives of Saints, by Leigh Bardugo
Archenemies, by Marissa Meyer
Heartstopper volume 2, by Alice Oseman
Heartstopper volume 3, by Alice Oseman
Heartstopper volume 4, by Alice Oseman
An Italian Girl in Brooklynn, by Santa Montefiore
Volwassen worden is optioneel, by Marloes de Vries
De woestijndief, by Emmelie Arents
The Mitford Vanishing, by Jessica Fellowes
Wat gebeurde er met David, by Henk Hardeman
Queen of Shadows, by Sarah J Maas
Supernova, by Marissa Meyer
Wees Lucie, by Astrid Boonstoppel
Grijs, by Carlie van Tongeren
Zwaar verguld, by Chantal van Gastel
Over straatfiguren en wegpiraten, by Mijke Pelgrim
Anna K Away, by Jenny Lee
Zorro. The Curse of Capistrano, by Johnston Mcculley
De tweede stem, by Elin Meijnen
Mortal Engines, by Philip Reeve
De meesterdief, by Emmelie Arents
Nick and Charlie, by Alice Oseman
Stewardess Hannah in Parijs, by Petra Kruijt
Stewardess Hannah in Rome, by Petra Kruijt
Sintel en As, by Mara Li
Stewardess Hannah op Ibiza, by Petra Kruijt
The Golden Enclaves, by Naomi Novik
Welkom in Smartpark, by Mirjam Mous
Stewardess Hannah in Reykjavik, by Petra Kruijt
The Iron Sword, by Julie Kagawa
Gilded, by Marissa Meyer
The Syndicate, by Shelena Shorts
Stewardess Hannah in Barcelona, by Petra Kruijt
Stewardess Hannah in Amsterdam, by Petra Kruijt
The Pace, by Shelena Shorts
Stewardess Hannah in New York, by Petra Kruijt
One of us is Lying, by Karen M Mcmanus
Predator's Gold, by Philip Reeve
Stewardess Hannah in Praag, by Petra Kruijt
The Broken Lake, by Shelena Shorts
Stewardess Hannah op Curaçao, by Petra Kruijt
One of Us is Next, by Karen M Mcmanus
Stewardess Hannah in Lissabon, by Petra Kruijt
Wind, by Esther Walraven
The Iron Quill, by Shelena Shorts
The Hour of Dreams, by Shelena Shorts
Penthouse, Lotte Boot
Denken wat je wilt, doe wat je droomt, Gijs Jansen
Empire of Storms, by Sarah J Maas
One of Us is Back, by Karen M Mcmanus
Confessions of a Shopaholic, by Sophie Kinsella
To All the Boys I've Loved Before, by Jenny Han
Ivelle, by Laura Diane
PS. I Still Love You, by Jenny Han
Always and Forever, Lara Jean, by Jenny Han
Anders, beter, by Lisa van Campenhout
The Iron Vow, by Julie Kagawa
#8/2/2023#3/1/2023#10/2/2023#26/2/2023#6/3/2023#12/3/2023#14/3/2023#19/3/2023#27/3/2023#2/4/2023#5/4/2023#30/4/2023#7/5/2023#14/5/2023#21/5/2023#11/6/2023#18/6/2023#9/7/2023#15/7/2023#23/7/2023#26/7/2023#3/8/2023#13/8/2023#15/8/2023#20/8/2023#24/8/2023#27/8/2023#3/9/2023#5/9/2023#17/9/2023
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I had a revelation
#my art#digital art#phone art#click on image/picture for better quality#fan art#fanart#midoriya izuku#yuichiro hyakuya#mikaela hyakuya#bakugou katsuki#mild mikayuu#seraph of the end#owari no seraph#boku no hero academia#my hero academy#1/26/2023#january 26th 2023#this drawing took 1 hour & 12 minutes#colored sketch
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