#2400 words of slay the princess au rospierce... sorry not sorry

[churrobird]

guys can i have a category 7 autism event. will you put up with my cringe.

rospierce slay the princess au/route!!!!!! because GOD i love slay the princess

(slay the princess spoilers under the cut! i won't be talking about the overarching story (but there is a brief reference to the characters involved in it at the end), but i will be referencing and taking inspiration from certain routes in StP, including ones from the Pristine Cut DLC!)

You're on a path in the woods, and at the end of that path is a castle, and in the basement of that castle is an Architect. You're here to slay her. If you don't, it will be the end of the world.

yep! as it is the easiest option, i am calling this au "Slay the Architect". i only have one route really... planned in my mind, but i think a lot of different angles could be done with this, just like the original game!

currently, the route i have is The Architect -> The Castle Keep -> The Heart of the Kingdom

Chapter 1: The Architect

the start of the "game", its pretty much like the start of slay the princess, except clownpierce is here. clown finds himself on a path in the woods. he's told by a voice in his head (that definitely isnt badboyhalo. guys do you ever think about evil circus (thats their duo name right?? pretty sure it is)) that he needs to slay the architect that lives in the castle.

i dont think clown would really buy into the whole "she'll end the world" thing, but he is an experienced assassin. he's not gonna question a client as long as he gets paid. bad promises that he'll get his reward after he slays the Architect, and he's satisfied after some negotiating on payment.

from there, it's pretty straightforward to how you would get The Spectre route in StP. clown rocks up to the castle, finds the basement, finds the Architect chained up. ros tries to threaten him to back off, and he doesnt even bother with a response as he just efficiently stabs her. clean, precise, no-nonsense. that's how he operates his business endeavors. he's a little thrown off by her not even struggling before dying, but he's seen every reaction to being murdered you could possibly imagine. false confidence isnt that weird, honestly.

and then, of course, he goes upstairs and tries to exit the castle, only to find the world is gone. he immediately starts threatening bad for betraying him, and is furious when bad says he never lied to clown; this is the "reward" he was promised, after all!

eventually, the voice of the hero speaks up, and tells clown he can get him out of this, as long as he just trusts him. clown agrees because what else is there to do, and hero takes over his body to stab himself, and moves on to the next chapter

(BY THE WAY. i have this entire thing in my head about the different trsmp members being the different voices? and im pretty dead-set on sneeg being the voice of the hero stand-in because YEAHHHH 3/3 LOSA!!!!!!!! also. i dont think he'd be called "the voice of the hero", since fairytale heroism is... not clown's default state of reasoning. genuinely sneeg would be most alike to the voice of the skeptic, as both sneeg and clown are very questioning people when Something Is Afoot. i dont know what sneeg's title would be? i'm considering "Voice of the Alchemist", as a reference to the twohickey and alchemy being a field of study both sneeg and clown share. also clown's "default voice" in such a confusing situation being a scientist who wants to cut through all the bullshit and find what's really going on is very in line for him.)

Chapter 2: The Castle Keep

so. according to google. the keep of the castle is defined as "the strongest and most fortified part of a medieval castle, serving as the last refuge in case of a siege or attack, and often housing the lord's residence"

EHEHEHEHEHEHEH

so, The Castle Keep is based off The Spectre and The Wild. after being killed in her own castle, the Architect's spirit has merged with the very walls she built. and she is threatened. this stranger, this archmage, had walked into her home and slayed her without remorse, or even a word towards her, and she will enact bloody retribution to defend the castle; to defend herself. this is an attack upon her walls, and she will see to it that the threat is eliminated.

clown and the voice of the alchemist are joined by The Voice of the Scapegoat (its pili 1!!! his whole thing is that killing the Architect was a necessary evil, and who cares that she's pissed about it. if she didnt die, then the entire world would. anyone wouldve done it, clown was just the unlucky sucker who had to. very much reflective of how pili 1 was the one who stepped up to kill for red, and was hated for it despite it being necessary so him and all his teammates wouldnt lose a life.)

the Castle Keep tries to kill clown as soon as he enters the castle again. immediately tries to drop a rock on him, or something, because the castle is her body and she can control it at will. he navigates the castle, dodging the very building he's in attempts to try to kill him. voice of the scapegoat is telling him to find the Architect immediately so he can kill her again, while voice of the alchemist tells him to actually talk to her this time and figure out what's going on.

clown talks to the Castle Keep while she's trying to kill him, and she finally starts relenting enough to entertain conversation. because she's hurt. she was killed for so suddenly and for seemingly no reason, and now her murderer has returned and is effectively running around inside her body. she doesnt know him. she doesnt know if he's going to hurt the castle like he hurt her. she wanted him gone before he could hurt anything else. and she wants to know why he would do such a thing for her. he tells her about the whole "ending the world" thing, which she tells him that she has no idea if she can or not. he tells her about the whole "well he paid me and im an assassin so of course i did my job" thing and weirdly enough, she laughs. she thinks its really funny in a morbid kinda way. so they bond about that.

the thing is though.... the Castle Keep was effectively tearing herself apart to kill clown. pillars falling to crush him, chunks of the wall falling out to also crush him, the floor cracking open to try and drop him into the abyss. with how much she's torn herself apart, she can't control herself from crumbling the rest of the way. right as theyre finally seeing eye to eye, rubble falls and crushes clown under it. the Castle Keep wails, screaming that she didn't mean to do that, that she's sorry, that she's trying so hard to move the foundation that once was hers, was her, but cannot anymore. clown slowly bleeds to death, but before he dies, he tells her that he is sorry, and it's only fair for her to kill him after he killed her.

Chapter 3: The Heart of the Kingdom

so welcome to chapter 3, the Heart of the Kingdom! this chapter is based off of The Wounded Wild, Happily Ever After, and the Thorn

the gang is joined by the Voice of the Penitent (aimsey, who expresses guilt over having hurt the Architect so callously without even considering how she felt about it, or considering that she was her own person and not just a hit to take out. aimseys role is reflective of how pre-death aimsey was very dismissive of ros' feelings and agency in the pursuit of doing what they believed to be the right thing to do for her)

clown approaches the castle again, and finds it a wreck. the damage the Castle Keep did to herself seems to have carried over, but there seems to be even more damage. banners ripped and torn down, deep gouges in the floors and walls like axe strikes, chunks mined out of the stairs.

clown eventually finds the Heart of the Kingdom not in the basement, but in the throne room. she's once more a human woman, not a spirit who lives in and lives as the very walls around them. she's sitting on the throne, but her demeanor is entirely unlike a queen. her face is puffy and red from crying, streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. she's hunched over, hugging herself, staring blankly at the floor with dead eyes. she's wearing a crown, a fancy dress, fit for a queen, but it seems so ill-fitting on her, like someone had dressed up a doll.

the Heart looks up at him, and doesn't say anything except for scooting over a little. clown sits down next to her, the throne big enough to fit them both. another thing that made her seem so small.

they sit in silence for a while, and then the Heart begins to speak.

she tells him that she built herself out of the violence he inflicted on her. he attacked her, and so she sought to attack in turn. he had come into her home, the very castle she built, and hurt its architect. but she doesnt want to seek revenge anymore. the damage she inflicted on her castle, herself, in pursuit of retribution was a million times worse than what he had done to her. her very self was as shattered as the building around them.

an eye for an eye, she says, echoing his final words. he killed her, so she killed him, even if accidentally. they could be even, she says, but wouldn't he have a reason to pay that back? couldnt he kill her again for killing him when they had finally gotten along? she would probably be angry enough to, if she wasnt so tired and hurt.

clown says he could, but he stands by what he said. they're even. to kill her now would to just spiral further into an endless loop of violence. it's unnecessary. he knows how to pick his battles. taking on a fight that brings you nothing, means nothing, is just a stupid way to potentially get yourself killed.

they lapse into silence. and then the Heart finally asks him who he is. he's still a stranger to her, despite all of what they've been through together. so they talk. he tells her about his studies as an archmage, a few fun facts about himself, but not much with depth. he's still a very private person, and she's right- they're strangers. strangers with a tumultuous short history, but strangers nonetheless. he'll make the steps to get to know her now, but he won't reveal everything right off the bat. he never would've.

the Heart can't tell him much about herself. she simply doesnt know who she is. she was an Architect, wasn't she? she built this castle. but she's the only person she's ever seen in it. while he was gone, in the moments before he returned to the castle, she had explored it. there are furnished rooms, personalized with color, but she doesn't know who she built them for. the castle is desolate. things that should be familiar to her aren't. it should be full of life, but theres no lights on. it's just her. and the castle is as empty as her memory. maybe it really is her.

eventually, clown asks her what she wants, and despite everything, she says she wants to go outside. the castle hurts, and maybe it would finally stop hurting if she left- even for just a little while. she's never seen the grounds, even though she's sure that she built that too. how strange that is.

they walk outside, and stare up at the sky in the garden. the Heart hopes this can be a fresh start for them. she says she finally feels at peace, but didn't expect it to feel so cold.

and thats when she gets taken by a bunch of hands

(idk who the shifting mound would be in this au. foolish, probably? i know bad is the narrator, but im imagining a kinda-sorta different scenario from StP where bad is the narrator and the long quiet because some fuckshit is happening with the overarching plot of Slay the Architect)

BUT YEAH. god its really fun to write rospierce with the perspective that they're complete strangers at the start of each route. they basically speedrun getting to know each other every time. usually with murder involved. also can i mention that it feels so weird to write clown inflicting violence upon ros. it feels so incorrect. but he DOESNT KNOW HER so why would he feel remorse about that. i imagine that with each route played, he starts developing this subconscious feeling that gets stronger and stronger that he Should Not Hurt Her. and mans definitely freaks out about why the hell does he feel this instinctual protectiveness and care for this woman he has never seen before in his life.

i also feel like its very interesting to explore the themes of the cycle of violence with them. tr!ros already has those themes, but its odd to see it depicted between rospierce. clown usually has absolutely no guilt for hurting people, so it's a curveball for him to actually feel sorry for hurting the Architect. and for the Architect, hurting and violence was all she knew when he killed her (basically speedran tr!ros' violent tendencies), so she doesnt know how to stop unless she's too hurt to keep going on. and then they get to talk about it together!!! yay!!!!!

(also... since the Heart of the Kingdom is based off the thorn... and im a filthy rospierce shipper... lowkey kinda want them to kiss. i dont think it would make narrative sense for who they are and what they just went through. but maybe the Heart gives clown a little kiss on his mask. for me.)