#220 fics
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jäger chilling gayly on a chair (from a fic i love)
#signalis#why is this asshole so handsome. shaking her like an instant noodle flavoring packet#phasenraum my beloved.......#one of the best books of all time. fics count as books ill die on this hill#these little (220 and 240cm) guys have such an effect on me. various kinds of effects#signalis star#star signalis#starling#signalis fanart#my art
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a double drabble because you know i've got some kind of specific proposal festish
“If I said that I love you,” Foggy says, as calmly as he can, “what would you do?”
To be fair, he caught Matt of guard on purpose, which is probably what it takes a long moment for him to process and answer the questions. He sits up slowly from where he’s been sprawled out in Foggy’s lap getting his hair played with, something that Foggy already kind of knew made him a little bit stupid, face guarded when he aks, “Why do you ask?”
“Mere curiosity,” Foggy says.
Matt’s face goes soft pretty quickly when he admits, “I might say it back.”
“Yeah?”
Foggy slides his fingers through Matt’s hair again, smiling when Matt’s eyes flutter shut and he sighs.
“I love you,” Matt says.
“You fucker,” Foggy says, smile widening. “You beat me to it.”
Matt jut smiles back and leans up to kiss him.
“It’s not a contest,” he says.
“It is now,” Foggy says, scoffing. “I’m going to propose, like, tonight, just in case you try to claim that, too.”
The way Matt’s smile goes kind of adorable and shy makes Foggy feel absolutely indescribable.
“If I proposed tonight, what would you do?” he asks.
Matt just kind of shrugs and settles back in Foggy’s lap.
“I might say yes,” he says, shutting his eyes again.
#mattfoggy#my fic#daredevil#i'm trying a to do list where you roll dice and i put writing 300 words as like five of the things#this is 220 of them
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slight JJK spoilers !! :
ok now that we know gojo is built like this, I need the most nastiest, raunchiest, dirtiest fics NEOWWW!!!!
#like make my man some toji-esque fics#*taps shoe*#I’m craving it rn!!!#i’m begging#I’ll even make something too 🫣#it’s purring rn#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#jjk 220#jjk spoilers#he’s so sexy my mouth watered#jjk#hoodjam speaks :
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[ID: a panel from chapter 225 of “yona of the dawn” depicting gija and jaeha asleep next to each other; gija is sleeping soundly and reaching towards jaeha with his dragon hand, poking the side of his face, and jaeha is frowning. end ID.]
feeling so normal about this panel again. like yeah it’s very silly and cute but also!!! gija reaching out towards jaeha not long after taking an arrow for him (ch 220) and jaeha not waking up, implying that this is a pretty regular occurrence, and the gradual progression from not sleeping near each other to sharing a futon and just. waaaahhhh i love them so much !!!!!
#i love subtext <3#i attempted to put the ch 220 panel next to this one but it made me feel like i’m suffering from consumption#the visions for the corresponding scene in my silly little fic are ringing so real and true btw u guys have no idea#(← still editing the ch 105.1 scene)#akayona#gijaeha
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rip I didn't mean to make that a 24 hour poll. suo nation needs to act fast ig
#if 220 ppl could vote in that knotting fic poll within 24h i have full faith in my blog citizens to accomplish their democratic duty#in this new one#yueshuo
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ー𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆
𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋. 𝖠𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌.
Boruto held back his exasperated sigh upon seeing his dad's been following him around the house after they got back from the battle. He was also fully aware how his dad tried to make it subtle but how could he not notice? Boruto could feel all the lingering gaze like Naruto wouldn’t even let a second slip away without him in his sight. Or how Naruto had leaned beside the bathroom door, waiting for him to step out, just to check that he was still there and okay, until he finally walked away when Boruto gave him a questioning look.
Boruto understood the worry and relief still devoutly apparent on his father’s face. After all, he’d experienced the same thing back when they fought against Isshiki. The thought of losing his dad was still sharp in his memory; the gripping dread as he waited for his dad to open his eyes or every ticking second that passed through as it howled out the hymn of death; each of them just kept reminding him just how horrendous, dire, and soul-numbing it was to almost lose someone you loved.
Thus, he didn’t really have the heart to straight up telling his dad to leave him alone. Not to mention when he still could see the troubled expression plastered on his face.
But, the moment his dad followed his step into his bedroom, did Boruto finally lose his control of the words he’d been holding all along. “Cut it out already, Tou-chan–” but his sentence was cut midway after he swung his body and found Naruto standing past the door frame while looking at him with eyes faintly glistening with a layer of crystal clear water. Hints of tears already drowning his blue eyes.
Boruto gulped, swallowed down the words he was meaning to say. When he looked up straight into his dad’s eyes though, Naruto immediately averted his gaze as if he didn’t want to show him another view of his vulnerable side–knowing how his son would feel bad and awkward on the matter.
Boruto’s more like a tsundere type, sometimes cringes when he witnesses his parents being lovey-dovey with their shameless show of affection (which is an everyday view in the household), but right at that moment, he softened up. Something within his chest melted and clenched at once–if that even makes sense–upon seeing his dad looking almost dead in front of him.
And he felt so bad for making him look like that. After all, the decision of everything that had transpired was nothing but his own will. And Kawaki being the other party that had agreed to execute the rest of what he thought was the only possible way out if the worst case scenario really happens. Until it really did.
Boruto knew his dad was holding himself back and he decided to be the one opening the door for him. He slowly spread his arms, looking at his dad with very slight blush on his face, then saying, “You know, you can give me a hug if you want–” and the next thing he knew, without even having the chance to finish his sentence, was his dad’s big, warm embrace holding him a little bit too tightly. He was slightly taken aback, until he slowly returned the hug and let them stay like that for a moment. He felt so small yet it also tugged on his heartstrings of the faint familiar feeling melted from inside his chest.
Naruto still hadn’t said anything but Boruto could very much feel the uneven and anxious breathing his dad labored. Exactly like that time when he had hugged him on top of the hokage monument, with a promise from a father in which he found solace beneath his words.
“...so–sorry…” Naruto whispered amidst his heavy breathing. “...I didn’t even know…that you’ve made a decision to such an extent… What kind of a father am I? I wasn't even aware of what my own son has been bearing… I’m sorry, Boruto… Tou-chan is so sorr–”
“It’s not your fault, Tou-chan,” Boruto calmly cut him. He clenched his fist onto his father’s back shirt and whispered, “It’s never your fault. I’m a shinobi, remember? You should know better than anyone what it entails once we put Konoha's hitai-ate on our head. Death is always one step away for people like us. And I’m always ready to die–”
“Don’t say that–” he choked on his voice, “...just please��don’t say that.” Boruto gulped, biting his own tongue, and gave him a curt nod to replace his remaining words left unspoken.
As much as Naruto knew how true what Boruto said was, he didn’t–would never–have it in him to hear him say it out loud. And as much as he wanted to deny the fate that had befall onto them, it would never stop being true.
But he also knew one other thing he could be so sure more than anything else in the world, that also would never stop being true.
“You know, Boruto… No matter how much fate hates us…or even if the whole world goes against you, you’ll always have me. You’ll always have your Kaa-chan. You’ll always have your family…” Naruto tried to hold back the quiver on his lips. “The fact that you are our son will never stop being true. It will never stop being true.”
Boruto felt his throat tighten. Finding himself unable to utter a single word, he made way for a nod as an answer. The hug didn’t even loosen up even the slightest and, as uncharacteristically as it may sound, Boruto felt as if it wasn’t enough. Maybe that’s one of the little things he failed to take into account when he sealed his resolve with Kawaki: he took those small things for granted. He already anticipated the worst case scenario of what the future may hold thus he’d been preparing himself for it. But, truth be told, he still never knew when that doom would finally befall upon him. That hug might be their last. That moment with his dad might be their last. And with that now deeply engraved in his mind, he held his dad tighter like how he should have been.
After a while they spent in each other’s embrace, Boruto finally broke their silence again. “Tou-chan, I’m kinda tired, ya know,” he carefully whispered.
“Oh, right,” Naruto slowly released his son from his embrace, “I’ll let you rest now.”
Straightening up his posture, Naruto put his hands on Boruto’s shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. “Sorry for holding you back from your rest,” he said as he gazed tenderly into another pair of blue eyes mirroring his own. He patted his head and spun around to walk out.
But, it was only a step away when a tug on his sleeve stopped him from his track. He looked back at his son, “What’s wrong?”
“You can stay here…if you want, that is.” Boruto already sensed that his dad didn’t really want to leave yet and just for today, he wanted to push his pride at bay and let his inner child get what he wants.
Trying to hide his blush, Boruto hurriedly spun around and walked toward his bed. He tucked himself comfortably under his blanket while Naruto dragged a chair for him to sit beside the bed.
“Now you really look like a kid, ya know,” Naruto chuckled.
“Stop it. I’m a tough shinobi, ya know!”
Naruto laughed as he saw the faint blush on his face, before he shuffled on his bed to face the wall, his back to him. He was trying to hide himself and Naruto found it really cute.
“I’m really gonna sleep now. You can leave if you want.” His voice was muffled beneath the blanket but Naruto still managed to catch it clearly.
“Nah, I’m good.”
As much as he hated being watched as he slept, Boruto was willing to endure it that time. Until finally his weariness got the best of him and embraced his whole sense into a deep, comfortable slumber.
--
Hinata knew something had happened. She realized it right away after his husband and only one son came back home. Kawaki was submitted to the hospital, Naruto had told her. But, she could easily sense something was more to it. The distraught expression and his tear-stricken face just spoke volumes, louder than the words he couldn’t bring himself to say yet.
As unfathomable as it was, she could feel the faint dread settle on the pit of her stomach, giving away a familiar feeling as to that time when they lost Kurama. Like something was lost, but she couldn’t really grasp her hands on it precisely.
So, she decided to wait for his explanation. Whenever Naruto was ready.
She closed the photo album when she heard the quiet creak of their bedroom door being pushed open, then putting it on the nightstand and looking up to see Naruto there. He smiled at her. And he looked so tired. He looked so tired like he’d just aged a few years older in the span of that few hours he was away to chase after their sons. Whatever had happened there on the battlefield, she’d already prepared herself to hear it. They were a family of shinobi. And something like that should never be something new to them.
She glanced at the clock briefly to find out that it was already past midnight. She knew Naruto had been spending his time in Boruto’s room, for whatever reason it was they spent on doing.
Hinata waited for Naruto as he walked slowly toward their bed. His head hung lower and lower the more he approached her until he stopped on the bedside. Standing still.
“Hinata,” he spoke, though it was more like a whisper. He finally mustered the strength to lift his gaze and settle them in the cradle of her gentle eyes.
When their eyes made the contact, a soft sigh followed by a small smile escaped her lips. “Come here,” she said, spreading her arms wide, ready to hold him.
Naruto didn’t say anything as he made his way up to the bed, succumbing himself into his wife’s embrace, and settled his head on the crook of her neck. He needed that. He desperately needed that. It always struck him in a surprisingly comforting way how Hinata could always understand him without him needing to say a single word. Like he’d always been an open book for her to read. And he had always, would always, and would never stop finding comfort in her smallest act of gestures and cares.
As she gently rubbed the broad of his back, Naruto was lulled into a calmer state of mind. But, the calmer his mind got, the more and more clear it was for him to recall everything inside his head. All the events that had just happened to his sons came flooding in a slow motion kind of flashback. Like a broken record refusing to stop and haunt him with its gripping dread.
He found himself starting to breathe deeper, rougher. Every inhale and exhale became a labor of inconvenience, and instinctively, the only thing he could manage was to tighten his embrace on her. Like a ship seeking anchor during a storm in the vast ocean.
Hinata noticed the sudden changes of his state but couldn’t do anything other than holding him in her utmost care while humming an old lullaby she always used to put her children to sleep.
“It’s okay…it’s okay… I’m here,” her voice dropped like silk on his ears.
“Hinata…Hinata…” he whispered. She thought she had imagined it at first but the longer she felt it, the more she was sure of what it was. Her pajama was wet. Naruto was crying.
“I’m–sorry… I’m sorry… I–I’m sorry...” And her assumption was confirmed by his shaking voice, choked by his own sobs. She caressed the back of his head, sparing him all the care she could possibly give…and waited.
“I almost… We almost lost–our son–”
The gentle movement of her hands suddenly came to a halt. She felt her hands start to tremble the more Naruto wailed in her embrace.
“I was right there… Boruto was right in front of me, yet–” he choked on his breath and his sobs broke louder, “–yet I couldn’t do anything. I–I failed him… I’m so sorry Hinata… I’m so sorry…”
So, there’s nothing to worry about, Boruto. If anything were to happen to you, I’d give my life to stop it from happening.
The promise Naruto had made to his son rang deafeningly inside his head. Just like a knife stabbing right to his chest, Naruto found it too hard to bear because of the fact that he had failed his son. He failed him. He failed his promise.
And he couldn’t do anything but continued to cry.
Hinata’s hands went cold as ice, she could barely feel anything from her fingertips. Hinata reached to cup his cheeks and pull his head to look up at her. Bloodshot eyes stared back at her lavender irises, tears never stopped streaming down his cheeks.
“But Boruto is…okay?”
Naruto shook his head. “Momoshiki…he did something to revive him… Boruto was–” he averted his gaze, drops and drops of tears flowed down heavier from his eyes as he looked down, “Boruto was de–” Hinata hurriedly pulled his head back to her chest, hugged him into her tight embrace, attempting to stop him from continuing his words. She couldn’t. She couldn’t possibly bring herself to hear whatever he was about to say.
They stayed like that, hugging each other tightly as he continued his sobs while mumbling an endless sorry with a broken voice.
She should have been prepared. It shouldn’t be something new to her. After all, she’d spent years and years in the grim reality of their cruel world…in the war…or how being a shinobi had cost her many and many of her fallen comrades.
The hymn of death was the song trailing their every step once they pledge their soul to be a shinobi. Giving one’s very lifeblood and devoting their every breath to protect their people. She should be used to that concept of a lifestyle. She should have been prepared the moment she sent her son off to the academy.
Yet, hearing how easy it could have been for her son to slip away from her life, forever, Hinata found that slapping fact felt like a thousand piercing thorns ripping her chest into shatters.
“I had promised him, as his father, to protect him with my life… yet…yet I held him as his body went cold–” he paused to catch on his erratic breathing, “...I couldn’t do anything to stop that. I was so helpless, Hinata… I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
Hinata cradled his cheeks to make their eyes meet. “It wasn’t your fault…it wasn’t…please stop blaming yourself.” She leaned in then kissed his quivering lips. She rested their forehead together and they stayed like that for a moment.
Hinata didn’t even realize since when did her tears start flowing down her face, if it wasn’t for Naruto’s thumbs weakly wiped them off her cheeks. “I…I failed you…I’m sorry…”
She shook her head, a small smile managed to form on her lips. “Uh-hum..you already did your best, didn’t you?” she gulped down a hard lump on her throat all the while holding back the choked breath that almost slipped out her lips, “Boruto is fine. Our son is fine now.”
Naruto looked solemnly at her, not saying anything. Hinata could easily read how he still blamed himself inside his head, so she only did the best she could do at that very moment.
She gathered him into another long, tight embrace.
–
In the dead of night, Boruto didn’t wake up even when he felt somebody carefully crawled up his bed and gathered him into a warm, soft embrace. It was loving. It was gentle. And it was comfortable.
It was his mother.
He still didn’t wake up when not long after that, he felt another bigger body settled itself on his other empty side. A hand stretched out to reach both his and his mother’s body, gathering them together. It was strong. It was protective. But it was still loving.
It was his father.
When the dawn broke, Boruto found his little sister already nuzzled herself on the crook of his neck. Both his parents were still there on his side. He felt at peace. He felt all his worries vanished like they had been just a lie. He felt like everything was gonna be just fine. And he decided to close his eyes again, to let that moment last longer.
That day, the storm was looming above the home that had always been filled with sunshine. But, no matter how grim the doom was hovering above them, they still had each other as a family. The fact that they’re family would never stop being true.
It will never stop being true.
#naruhina fanfiction#sunshine family fic#family hurt and comfort#gaaaaahhhhhhhhh I was bawling af when I rewatched Boruto ep 220 A Father's Promise 😭#IT HITS SO HARD LIKE A TRUCK 😭#I love this family so so damn much god helpppp#I want them to be happy and I won't ask for anything else#containing spoilers#Boruto 293#boruto: naruto next generation
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It's midnight I should probably sleep and. Yeah I think I will head off now but I will say this fic has been really fun to write even if I'm 1,122 words in and I've literally just been describing sleeping habits the entire time. It's needed context for the fluff I swuar.
#ramblings#OKAY THATS. 1122 OF NEW WORDS I SHOULD CLARIFY#1342 words total rn its just that 220 of them are the initial quick thing i did before deciding this would be a whole fic#but 1122 new words in one night is not bad for me. not bad at all. lets see if i can finish this up tomorrow and then i WILL be#going back to working on the comic. im just riding this wave of motivation to write LMAO
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Best I May | Mature | 28494 words | No warnings apply
Project 220 for the @steddiebang
Author: MixAddams
Artist: tallula03
Link to art: HERE
All artist links (including comms!) = https://linktr.ee/tallula03
All author links (including ko-fi if you’re nasty) = https://linktr.ee/sethaddams
#seth writes#steddie big bang#steddie#omegaverse#stranger things#my fic#fic rec#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie big bang masterpost#project 220
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i wish i knew more songs so i could make more diverse playlist, however i refuse to listen to new music so im at an impasse
#my liked songs playlist on spotify is 220 songs if that is any signifier#and the main one i listen to is 4 hrs#and like yeah it could be more limited but it could also be way more diverse#i get jealous of people with thousand song long fave song playlists#thinking about making fic playlists idk if ill get to it#ps talks
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Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary: “Man, Charlie’s gonna flip out when he sees this.” Roy DeSoto & Johnny Gage, 723 words. Written for Three Sentence Ficathon using the prompt Any, any, The secrets that old car would know. Episode tag to "Survival on Charter #220."
#topaz writes fic#emergency#fanfic#johnny gage#roy desoto#hank stanley#the secrets that old squad truck knew#three sentence ficathon#emergency fan fiction#the fic outgrew its prompt oops#reviewing 'survival on charter 220' was an experience lemme tell ya
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Ok so i've started writing out of fun and suddenly i have to make up a case??? what is this ahhh, i now totally understand the urge to write some angsty shit
#its the evil spirit that posesses u after sitting infront of ur screen for hours trying to come up with smt#lets see what 220 episodes of#die drei fragezeichen#taught me#fan fic stuff
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Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Gojo Satoru & Iori Utahime, Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru & Gojo Satoru & Ieiri Shoko Characters: Gojo Satoru, Ieiri Shoko, Getou Suguru Additional Tags: Drunk Gojo Satoru, Hurt Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru Needs a Hug, Gojo Satoru Being an Idiot, Gojo Satoru-centric, Mentioned Getou Suguru, Ieiri Shoko is a Good Friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Drunk Texting, Memories, Illusions, Drunk Ieiri Shoko, Hurt Ieiri Shoko, Smoking, Post-Betrayal Series: Part 4 of Jujutsu Kaisen -Stand Alone Chapters Summary:
Si chiese perché, senza trovare risposta. Perché giaceva sdraiato in mezzo alla strada, alla tarda ora di quella sera? E così andò nell'unico posto in cui poteva sperare di incontrarlo, non avendo alcun modo di sapere dove si trovasse attualmente. Si sentiva un emerito idiota, però non poteva farne a meno... «Dovremmo ritornare a casa» mugolò in una nuvoletta grigia. Il silenzio, che accompagnò quelle sue affermazioni, le accarezzò inadeguatamente di pelle d'oca tutto il corpo sotto i vestiti, fin dentro le ossa. Attese. Era pronta alla sua protesta, si aspettava una sua smentita... Ma non fu così. Solo silenzio. Fece cadere della cenere picchiettando con il pollice la sigaretta, non si voltò nella sua direzione; «Non importa.» Era cambiato tutto. Non contava nulla quella sera. Erano soli, adesso.
[https://twitter.com/occuItica/status/1647665970469560323?s=20]
#writercommunity#fanfiction writer#writer on ao3#ao3 works#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk theory#jjk 220#jjk vol 0#spoilers#gojo satoru#shoko ieiri#geto suguru#emotional hurt/comfort#fluff and hurt/comfort#angst and feels#angst#drunk texting#memories#illusions#smoking#post-betrayal
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@jackironsides there’s 20 fics per page and 20x37=740 minus up to 19, so you have 721-740 fics marked for later
I'll go first: I have 414 😅
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch1. he said yes!! congrats!!
ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
ᰔ chapter. 1/x (probably 10)
ᰔ words. 7.8k
a/n. hellooo omg welcome to this debut chapter!! tysm to everyone who wanted to be on taglist for this!! i was gagged at the amount of people!! yall are amazing omg n thanks for supporting my works :''') hope you enjoy this chapter and i will see all you lovelies at the bottom <33
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 (pending)
Love thy neighbor.
Cherish thy neighbor.
Tolerate thy neighbor.
Peacefully coexist with thy neighbor.
Fuck thy neighbor? No, wait, not that one.
It’s murder thy neighbor. That was the phrase you were looking for.
Murder thy neighbor so gruesomely that you’d leave no trace behind. Murder him and bury him somewhere no one could ever find him, so that even in millions of years from now when some other highly advanced mammalian species overtakes the planet and embarks on journeys to acquire fossils, thy neighbor will still never grace the atmospheric oxygen of the earth ever again. It’s the punishment he’d deserve for thoroughly pissing you off at the worst times possible and in the worst ways possible. The smallest of prices to pay.
“SATORU!!!” you yell, storming up the sudsy driveway of your next-door neighbor’s house at eight in the morning, clad in your dirty scrubs from the hell of a night shift you just endured working at the hospital, glass containers inside the lunchbox you were holding hitting painfully against the poor joint in your knee but you just don’t care. Anger is all you can see right now.
Your neighbor (derogatory) stands there in his pajamas with a spray nozzle in his hands, passively spraying water across the top surface of his car, and when he sees you, he pulls his left airpod out of his ear and looks you up and down once. You’re pretty sure there’s steam coming out of your ears. “Uh, do you mind? I’m trying to wash my car.”
“How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to park your stupid boat in front of my driveway?!” you yell at him, voice hoarse and nails digging into the skin of your palms by the clench of your fists.
“Hm?” he leans back a little to glance past you to his boat. “Oh, you mean my 2023 Boston Whaler 220 Dauntless with low profile bow rail welded stainless steel, Mercury FourStroke hydraulic power steering and, not to mention, a platinum gelcoat hull? That silly old thing? It’s not even parked in front of your driveway.”
“Yes. It is. Are you blind? I can’t move my car into my garage, hence why it’s running idle on the fucking street right now. Your boat’s on my property.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes. It is.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Uh. Yuh-huh.”
“Honey. I’m a real estate agent. You don’t think I’d know where my own property line starts and ends?”
“Park. It. On. Your. Drive. Way.”
“I spent a lot of money on that boat,” he sighs, “I intend to show it off on the street. Stop acting like there isn’t more than enough room for your tiny prius. It’s not my fault you have the motor skills of a toddler and don’t know how to pull into a driveway,” he pauses for a second and tilts his head upwards in thought, “Oh. Motor skills, haha, get it? Fuck, that’s funny. Hold on, I gotta jot that down,” he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his cotton plaid pajama pants, “my niece would love that. She gets all giggly about puns these days. It’s her birthday next weekend, by the way, turning five.”
“Oh, right,” you scratch the top of your head (been too busy to wash your hair), and realize the ponytail you threw your hair up into at the beginning of your shift last night is now barely hanging on for dear life, “I forgot to tell you, but my cousin said he can’t rent that pony out for her birthday party anymore. Apparently it died.”
He stares at you. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Damn.”
“Mm.”
He shrugs. “That’s fine, thanks anyway,” he swipes up on his phone, “they had crazy hair day at my niece’s elementary school yesterday, wanna see a picture?”
“Sure.”
He turns his phone to show you. “My sister let her cut her hair a little shorter this time since she wouldn’t stop asking. I guess all her friends at school were cutting theirs short too so they wanted to be matching.”
“Aww,” you pout with a small smile when you see the picture, “I think it suits her. That’s a lot of glitter though, y’know that stuff’s really bad for the environment.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, turning his phone screen back to face him, “anyway. I was halfway convinced you just came from some crazy hair day when I saw you stomp up my driveway just now.”
“I’m gonna guillotine your head off with the trunk door of my car. Now move your boat.”
“Hold on one sec,” he says, holding a finger right up to your face, and you flinch backwards slightly before going cross-eyed to stare at it, and then you’re glaring at him again. His phone is ringing in his hand. “I gotta take this.”
“Wha–” you try to interrupt him, but he just says shhh and shakes his finger in front of you, which makes you want to bite it off.
“Hi, Donna!” he exclaims into his phone, “so good to hear from you. Oh, no, not at all, you caught me at the perfect time. I’m just washing my car. Nah, you’re not interrupting anything.”
The urge to smack him consumes you.
“Oh okay, cool, I’m glad you took some time to think about it. Let me know when you want to meet again, if you’re still interested in the house, we can make an offer. Uh huh. Yeah. Sorry, what’s that? Oh,” he pulls his phone from his ear to look at the time, “yeah, that’s fine. Is that the one on 6th street? Sure, I’ll see you then. By the way, how was little Tommy’s soccer game yesterday?...Aw, that’s okay, he’ll get the next one. Hm? Yeah, what’s up? Oh, you know that I’d love to, and there’s no one that enjoys your green bean casserole more than I do, but I’m actually busy tonight! I know! Bummer! Maybe some other time? Alright. Yeah, thanks, you too. Take care. Bye.” He presses the end call on his phone, and there’s an awkward silence as he narrows his eyes at the screen in concentration for a moment while typing something onto it, and then the corner of his eye catches sight of something in his periphery, that something being you, and he jumps a little.
“Oh fuck,” he places a hand on his chest and exhales, “I didn’t know you were still standing there.”
“I’m seriously going to whack you across the face with my lunch box right now.”
“That gigantic industrial lunch box you carry around for your 12-hour shifts?” he points at your hand, “you’d have blood on your hands. I’d be dead.”
“Yeah, that’s the goal, idiot.”
“You’re so fucking violent, jeez, I bet the inside of your head looks like the inside of Jeffrey Dahmer’s. How do you sleep at night?”
“With fifteen milligrams of melatonin, blackout curtains, a satin sleeping mask, and in the mornings.”
“...that didn’t make you sound like any less of a serial killer.”
“Whatever, at least I don’t have a complex for elderly divorced women. You know that what you do for work isn’t any better than prostitution, right?”
“Okay. Now I have to hear where you’re going with this.”
You cross your arms across your chest, and your gigantic industrial sized lunch box with the millions of glass containers inside of it hits your hip painfully, enough to warrant a wince, but you keep a straight face as to not show any weakness. “You flirt with vulnerable women who have just gotten out of probably extremely heartbreaking marriages from their cheating country golf club husbands, and pretend to care about all their drama, just so that they’d buy a house from you. I literally heard you say to a lady the other day,” and you do your absolute best to mock him in the most insulting way possible, “‘it’s okay Lorraine. If you’re still struggling to fill your new house with someone new too, then you know where to find me.’”
“Yeah. She wanted to rent out her guest bedroom. I was gonna help her look for tenants.”
“O-Oh,” you stutter, but stand up straighter, “doesn’t matter. You still pimp yourself out for a sale.”
“So what if I do? I’m hot, why wouldn’t I take advantage of that? You could’ve done the same thing too, but you didn’t, and now you’re stuck working miserable nursing shifts that are probably taking years off of your lifespan.”
“You’re the one taking years off of my lifespan. Now move your fucking boat.”
He sighs and slips his phone back into his pocket before walking past you to your car, that still had the driver’s side door open and was idle in the middle of the street.
“W-Where are you going?” you ask.
“I’m gonna park your car in your garage for you,” he says, waving his hand up in the air dismissively because he knows you’re about to protest, and then he ducks his head into your car, reaching his arm in for the lever that moves the seat backwards, and adjusts it all the way back before he’s able to take a seat at the wheel. And your yelling is a pestering he pays no mind to as he shuts the door.
“Wait– I didn’t give you permission to–” you shout as you step into your driveway, holding your arms out because you’re scared he’s gonna chip off your side mirror on the stern of his boat, but he deftly pulls your car into the driveway. He also almost runs you over in the process.
When he gets out of your car inside your garage, you storm right up to him and yank your car keys out of his hand. “You almost flattened me over my own driveway.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have been standing there,” he easily retorts and leans against your car before crossing his arms over his chest. “Also, case proven, there’s more than enough space to pull your car in. You’re just piss poor at parking.”
“I swear to fucking god. If you’re ever in a life-threatening emergency and wind up at my hospital, your emergency isn’t going to be the thing that kills you, it’s gonna be the cocktail of deadly meds I inject straight into your veins. And I’ll have it charted like it was a death of natural causes.”
His brow furrows and he frowns, but it’s in that sarcastic way that tells you he’s not threatened by you, and the idea of using the taser in your purse on him is briefly entertained in your mind, “I’ve got Kaiser, hun,” he says, “I wouldn’t go to just any regional hospital for healthcare. Put some damn decorum on my name, Jesus.”
“How is it you’re stupid, an asshole, have a sick fetish for elderly women, and also somehow classist at the same time? Can you pick a struggle please?”
“Stop saying I have a fetish for elderly women,” he hisses at you, “especially with that loud obnoxious voice of yours. Our neighbors are gonna think I’m a creep.” He pretends to shiver.
“But it’s true. I bet you lost your virginity to a fifty-year-old cougar the day you turned eighteen. And to one that was probably grooming you even before then, too.”
His eyes widen. “Damn. How’d you know.”
“That you’re a victim?” you ask, tone derisive, “your entire personality is living proof. Please seek help.”
He rolls his eyes. “I was never groomed, and I didn’t lose my virginity to an elderly woman,” he corrects you, “...although said woman was a little older than me.”
“I’ve literally got no fucking interest in this conversation anymore. Get the fuck out of my garage,” you practically spat at him, “the last thing I need to deal with after getting off of a 12-hour night shift is coming home to your stupid face out on the street.” You push past him, making sure to nudge him with your shoulder but he hardly budges, and you lose balance from your own attack, and now you’re doubly pissed off before you make it to the door with your keys jingling in your hand to find the right one to unlock it.
“Good night,” he calls out to you, and you click the button on the garage door so that it starts closing, and watch him as he panics before ducking his head underneath it to make it outside before you can essentially lock him to rot inside of your garage, and then you shut the door behind you, finally inside the comfort of your home.
Ah. Silence.
But it was never a comfortable one.
“Mom?” you call out as you open the door out of the laundry room to make it into the living room, and your eyes scan the floor. You don’t see her in the kitchen, or on the couch in front of the TV, sometimes she spends time in the pantry room but she’s not in there today. You round the corner over to where the front entrance of the house is, and you see her standing there, peering out of the window to the other houses on the streets. She holds her hands loosely behind her back, and she’s so still she could be a statue.
“Hey,” you say to her, softly, so as not to startle her. “I’m home.”
She looks over her shoulder at you, and you realize her line of sight was set to next door, where you see Gojo has resumed the wash of his car. “Why are you yelling at that sweet boy across the lawn?” she asks you, “he helped me fix the air conditioning last week.”
Your eyes widen slightly, but then you sigh. Typical Gojo getting involved where he should really just mind his own business. “I’m pretty sure by fix you mean he just pressed a bunch of buttons on the thermostat until it started working again.”
She doesn’t respond as she continues to stare out onto the street, tilting her head slightly while deep in thought, like she’s trying to make sense of what she sees.
“Mom,” you gently tug her sleeve, “I think you should get away from the window and get some rest. You look tired, and I need to take you for chemo in the afternoon.”
She gently pulls her elbow away from your grip of her sleeve and turns to look at you. “Mom?” she repeats after you, “why are you calling me ‘mom’? Who are you?”
Your blood runs cold from her words, but you don’t have the time or the luxury to react in the way that you want to, and so you suck in a deep breath. It was one of those days. But it’s cruel that she’ll remember your neighbor and not her own daughter. “I’m your daughter,” you gently reintroduce yourself, to the woman who gave you life, “I know that might be a little weird to hear right now.”
“No…” she says, “I think that makes sense. I’m sorry, dear, I think I have a bad memory these days.” She looks at you with concentration, studying the features of your face. “My daughter, yes. You look…oh, dear, you look like you should sleep.”
You nod slowly, releasing the breath you were holding. “Yes. You too, mom.”
You place your gigantic industrial lunch box on the kitchen counter, and come back to hold your mom’s hands as you lead her to her bedroom downstairs. By the time you fix her a small meal in the kitchen, bring it to her and make her eat so she can take her pills, she’s ready to take a small nap and you know that you’ve earned some sleep now too.
The upstairs master bathroom beckons you the second you get upstairs, and even though you’ve been using the master bedroom & bathroom in this house ever since moving your mom downstairs four years ago since she had trouble getting up the stairs, it still feels odd to stand in front of the sink without a stool underneath your feet, like what you had to when you were a kid and your mother would braid your hair. You’re a grown woman now, and as you stare at your reflection, you’re not sure if you can recognize yourself anymore. But rather than dwell on if it was because of any profound reason, you figured you just needed a shower and to get some sleep before you have to wake up again in five hours. Exhaustion is evident on your face, and you swipe under your eyes to get the smudge of mascara off before it tattoos your skin forever.
Hot water on your skin does little to help your drowsiness, but at least now you feel clean of your shift, and then you remember there are blood stains on your shoes from the stab wound patient that rolled in at 2AM last night, and you should really let them soak for a few hours while you sleep, but you just can’t bother right now. Instead, you slip into something comfortable, draw your curtains back to mimic the dead of night in your room as best as you can, grab the bottle of melatonin sitting at your nightstand and pop a few tablets, feeling feverish as you slip into your sheets. You pull the comforter up over your eyes, a decision that is less ideal than using a sleeping mask since you’ll be breathing your own carbon dioxide until you fall asleep now, but it’s okay. It’s cozy under your blanket. Just this once. And you count sheep to make you sleepy. At least until the melatonin beats you to it.
—
“You’re looking better,” Dr. Johnson says to your mother as he accesses the port on her chest, “were you able to get a good rest?”
Your mother nods and points to you. “My daughter made me take a nap.”
“That’s good,” he coos, “it’s good to get rest before chemo. Your daughter really cares about you.”
“I know,” your mother smiles up at you, “I’m so lucky.” You return her smile with one of your own.
Dr. Johnson starts to push the line of chemo into your mother’s port as she sits on the chair in the treatment lounge, and then stands up from his rolling chair before the nurse quickly moves to twiddle with the drip of the IV bag.
“Ready for consult?” he asks you.
You grip your binder to your chest. “Yeah.”
You walk into the doctor’s office, one you’ve more than familiarized yourself with over the past couple of years, then take a seat across from Dr. Johnson’s desk as he clicks through his computer before handing you a copy of your mother’s recent lab work.
“Her tumor markers are rising,” you say as you sift through the papers.
“They are, we’ll likely switch to monitoring them every four weeks going forward. But it’s okay, not to worry,” he says, “tumor markers can raise for all sorts of reasons unrelated to cancer.”
“She had a cold last week,” you say, “maybe it’s the inflammation?”
Dr. Johnson lets out a small laugh. “I’m sorry, y/n, sometimes I forget you’re a nurse.” He hums to himself as he pens down something on the notepad in front of him. “When was your mother’s last PET/CT scan?”
“It was in February,” you say, “she’s due soon. I was going to ask if you could order one for her.”
“Yes, I will, I’ll do it right now,” he says as he types something into the computer. “You still have the standing orders for her routine lab work, correct? Do my MAs need to send you the scripts?”
“No, that’s okay, I got them already. Good for six months,” you reassure him.
“Alright, perfect.”
There’s an awkward silence that settles in the room as you shift in your seat with the binder in your lap, full of all of your mother’s medical information and emergency department discharge packets and recent lab work and imaging. You mess with the plastic cover on top of it nervously.
“It’s good she remembers you today,” Dr. Johnson comments, “I remember last week you were upset she didn’t.”
“Oh,” you say, “yeah, I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s hard.”
His eyes leave his computer screen for a second to look at you. “Are you doing alright?”
You nod slowly. You had to be alright, you had no other choice. “I’m fine, thanks,” you say, “um, actually, doc, I just wanted to share with you that I’ve been keeping track of my mom’s Alzheimer’s progression.” You open your binder in your lap, pulling out a packet of papers and placing them on his desk, turning some of them towards him but he doesn’t really spare a proper enough look. “I’ve just been noticing she’s progressively worsening a bit faster than her neurologist had projected.”
“Okay,” he says, sounding curt, and that nervousness comes back. But goddammit, you’re a nurse, you know how to deal with stubborn doctors. And it’s for your mother. There was no one else left to advocate for her except you.
“I was just wondering if we could also order a brain MRI for her?” you ask, “just to rule out anything…her brain fog has been bad, worse than usual, and I’m just really worried about metastasis, especially if it’s a glioma, I’d just want to catch it as soon as possible.”
You have sympathy for oncologists, really, you do. They must deal with paranoid family members all the time, but how could someone blame another for wanting what’s best for their loved one? You don’t think that’s an empathy that anyone should ever lose, regardless of how long you’ve been practicing medicine.
He sighs. “There’s no indication for that right now, not with her response to treatment as well as her lab work. I’d suggest we just wait on her next PET/CT results, and we can go from there. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?”
“I know,” you say, “but her next scan isn’t for another couple weeks, plus the week it’ll take to have it read, it’ll be far out, so…if we could just order it now?”
He interlocks his fingers and places his hands in front of him on the desk, looking at you with a stern face, but he glances down at the paperwork you’ve sprawled in front of him with scribblings of all the detailed notes you’ve been taking of your mom’s responses to her Alzheimer’s treatments, with time stamps and descriptions of her mental state, and his furrowed brow relaxes slightly. He breathes in deep. “Alright. Fine, I’ll order one. I highly doubt we’ll find anything, though. But since there’s no clear clinical impression warranting a brain MRI right now,” he mentions as he directs his attention back to his computer, “I don’t think insurance will cover it for you with the diagnoses I put in.”
“That’s okay,” you quickly respond, “I’ll pay for it.”
You collect your imaging orders from the medical assistants at the center of the oncology floor. The chemo nurse, Mai, informs you that your mother still has about two hours left before her treatment is done, and she gently suggests you go eat something while you wait. You tell her it’s okay, that you want to wait with her, but she tells you the hospital cafeteria is serving tater tots today for tater tot tuesday, and those tater tots are to die for. But before you go downstairs to the cafeteria, you find a few minutes to cry in a one stall bathroom.
—
“God damn,” you hear your coworker, Hana, dreamily sigh as she leans on the handle on your standing mobile nursing work desk, and you trail her line of sight to the tight asses of the EMT men that walk by while rolling a stretcher. “It’s like being hot is a part of their job requirement.”
“Uh-huh,” you agree mindlessly as you try to catch up on charting for the rounds you just ran on your patients around the emergency department beds.
4/20/2024 0200: patient notified of the importance of taking ibuprofen. Attempted to give pt the medication. Pt responded “suck on this, bitch”, gestured to his general groin area, then threw ibuprofen tablets at RN. pt upset and requests narcotics instead. Informed MD of pt’s behavior and request. MD will not order narcotic pain medication at this time. Will continue to monitor
“How’s your mom doing?” Hana says, interrupting your typing as she turns to face you now.
“She’s okay,” you say, continuing to punch keys as you stare at your monitor, “she has a PET/CT soon. It’s always nerve wracking when the next scan is coming up.”
“Have you given hospice any more thought?” she asks.
You stop typing and stare blankly ahead at your screen as your heart sinks a little. You have given hospice more thought, and you came to the decision about a week ago that you would go through with it. It’s becoming so increasingly difficult taking care of your mom at home, more than you can manage with all of her doctor’s appointments, radiation appointments, chemotherapy appointments, all of which happen during the late mornings or early afternoons so you can’t even properly rest on most days that you come home from night shifts. Even though you only work three shifts a week, you can’t remember the last time you got a full, uninterrupted eight hours of sleep because of how messed up your circardian rhythm has become. You were practically a walking zombie, and you hardly felt like a person anymore. You’re not going to switch to the day shift, because that would make it difficult to take your mom to her appointments, and also because you get paid extra with the night shift differential, and above all other necessities, what you really needed right now the most was money. Forget the fact you’re still in debt from nursing school, but you co-signed on the medical loans your mother had taken out for treatments, and five years of high acuity medical bills was a living nightmare. And you were living that nightmare.
“I did,” you say, “I’ve been looking into hospices, but a lot of them are further away than I’d like.” You glance down at your keyboard. “I…I’m going to miss having my mom home. Even though it’s hard to deal with her mood swings and stuff sometimes, I just think the house would feel really empty without her.”
“Aw, my dear,” Hana sighs and rubs her hand up and down your arm soothingly, “I’m sure you’d love to have her home, but I think it’s becoming too much for you. I say this with love and care, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you genuinely smile.”
Your eyes widen slightly from her words, and you release some of the tension in your shoulders, tension you didn’t even realize you were holding onto during this conversation.
“It’s too much for just one person,” she continues, “while I understand you want to spend more time with your mom, the quality of time you’re spending with her could be so much better if you had some weight lifted off your shoulders, where you’re not worrying about her medication schedule or doctor’s appointments or blood draws and all that.”
You nod slowly and manage to give her a small smile, then place your hand over hers that was still soothing over your arm. “Thanks, Hana. I know, I appreciate you looking out for me. I…I think I’ll look more seriously into hospices. It’s just they’re really expensive, too, so I have that to consider as well.”
“Hmm,” she withdraws her hand from you and juts her bottom lip out as she looks up at fluorescent emergency department lighting. You hear a patient cough in the distance as your senses take in the ambient environment once again. “Y’know, there’s this really great new hospice in town that functions as a general facility and also helps manage a lot of chronic diseases too. They have nurses there that do blood draws and everything, and they also transport patients to their affiliated hospital for treatments, like dialysis and chemo and stuff. My friend’s mom has breast cancer and was recently accepted into that hospice,” she tells you, pulling her phone out and looking through some of her messages, “I think it’s only a fifteen minute drive from your house.”
You tilt your head at her with interest, wondering why it didn’t come up on your provider search through insurance, but regardless, it sounded too good to be true. “It’s probably really expensive. My mom’s under the state insurance right now, but I’ve explored government insurance plans too and they’re still really pricey. I just can’t afford it, not with all of her cancer treatments, and adding her under my insurance isn’t really going to be any better either.”
She groans. “I know. What’s with our healthcare plan? You’d think as a hospital, they’d choose better plans for their employees,” she sighs, and then stops to read some of the messages on her phone, “but my friend said that her husband was able to add her mom as a dependant, and his insurance covers 90% of it. I’m sure it depends on the illness, but they only pay a few thousand per month out of pocket.”
You blink at her. “Really? T-That’s insane…do you know what insurance her husband has?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a Kaiser facility.”
“Oh,” you sigh, “well, they wouldn’t accept state insurance. That’s a private HMO.”
“Shoot,” Hana looks at you apologetically, “I’m so sorry, love, I forgot about that. Sorry to get your hopes up.”
“That’s okay,” you smile at her, “thanks for trying. I’m glad it worked out for your friend, at least.”
Hana glances at her watch and realizes her break is over, so she heads back to her side of the emergency department, and you’re left standing at the nursing station with thoughts running through your head now, and still catastrophically behind on charting.
Hmm.
Kaiser.
You swear someone mentioned that to you recently.
Or maybe you were just remembering another one of those ads you see on television at night. No, no, you’re pretty sure it came up in conversation with someone, but you can’t remember when or why or what or where or who. Hmmmmm. Kaiser, Kaiser, Kaiser.
Nope. Nothing.
Oh well, maybe it’ll hit you later.
—
It hits you in the form of an intrusive memory when you wake up on a Thursday afternoon in a cold sweat after having a hallucinogenic melatonin dream where you were getting chased by a giant rabbit (don’t ask).
Kaiser.
Gojo said he has Kaiser insurance.
And the idea that comes into your head after that is so ridiculous, so absurd, so positively bonkers that you have to slap the sleepiness off your face for a second to make sure you’re still not in some dream state of living, and the harsh sting on your cheek proves that you’re not. And the idea still persists. And now you’re swinging your legs over the edge of your bed, and grabbing your laptop, and opening it, and inputting your pin, and then spending a good three hours researching if this little idea of yours actually has any good level of merit to it, if it could even succeed, if it was even legal? You even find yourself on the phone with insurance representatives, and you stare at the tens of thousands of dollars of debt on your Excel spreadsheet where you keep track of your finances, and you feel the exhaustion in your bones, and you also remember how fucking annoying Gojo is. And yet still, the idea persists.
And when the pieces of the plan start to unfortunately fall into place, you say, fuck it. What was worse than potentially getting into six figures of debt? It’ll be fine.
But you can only hope he says yes.
.
.
.
[reading commercial break]
hello!! this is ellie, the author. so sorry to interrupt, there is still a bit left for this chapter, but i just wanted to jump in here real quick to explain for some of my readers that may not be american so they may understand reader’s desperation to financially cover the costs of her mother’s healthcare bills. this story is set in suburban america lol, where the healthcare system is so messed up honestly, and this excerpt from the book the body by bill bryson kinda explains:
“Where America really differs from other countries is in the colossal costs of its health care. An angiogram, a survey by The New York Times found, costs an average of $914 in the United States, but only $35 in Canada. Insulin costs about six times as much in America as it does in Europe. The average hip replacement costs $40,364 in America, almost six times the cost in Spain, while an MRI scan in the United States is, at $1,121, four times more than in the Netherlands. The entire system is notoriously unwieldy and cost-heavy.” p360; “...America spends more on health care than any other nation–two and a half times more per person than the average for all other developed nations of the world. One-fifth of all the money Americans earn–$10,209 a year for every citizen, $3.2 trillion altogether–is spent on health care.” p359
unfortunately, a lot of how much you end up spending at the end of the day, depends significantly on the health insurance that you have. it could make the difference of spending a few hundreds to a few thousands to a few tens of thousands and beyond, just based on the insurance plan, even if the illnesses/treatments are exactly the same.
but yeah, just wanted to provide that context lol!! so you must understand reader’s desperation to save a buck!!!
ok back to regularly scheduled broadcasting!! 🧚♀️💕✨
[end of reading commercial break]
.
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—
You’re sitting at a table outside your favorite cafe in town, leg bouncing up and down underneath the surface impatiently and nervously, and you glance at the time on your phone for the fifth time within the past five minutes because you’re unable to alleviate any of the anxiety you’re experiencing right now. You hear the jingling of the cafe door behind you and then you’re a little startled when someone emerges in your periphery by your side.
You look up and see Gojo standing next to you, and you see he already went inside and grabbed a coffee to-go for himself.
“Hey,” he greets you.
“Hi,” you say with a small wave.
He takes a seat across from you. “What did you want to talk about?” he asks while he settles in and smooths down the fabric of his suit jacket. He’s not wearing a tie, and has a couple of the top buttons of his shirt undone to reveal some of the skin at his collarbone. Probably to seduce the divorced single moms, you think. “And if you called me here to try and convince me for the millionth time to pitch in for that fence you built six months ago, I’m just gonna say no again. I didn’t even want that fence built in the first place. It fucked up the roots on my avocado tree.”
“It’s a joint fence. Neighbors usually pitch in for that kind of stuff, asshole. At least normal neighbors do. You know I talked shit about you to everyone in the neighborhood when you refused to pay and all of them agree that you’re being a stuck-up prick about it?”
“You know that I also talked shit about you to everyone in the neighborhood and they said the same exact thing about you?”
“Wha–” you gasp, blinking a few times from the betrayal, then mutter “...those two-faced bitches” under your breath.
“So,” he pulls his sleeve back to glance at his watch, “what did you want? I’ve only got thirty minutes to talk before I need to head to an open house.” He brings his cup of coffee to his lips.
“Oh. Right. Just a favor,” you say, “I was wondering if you could marry me.”
He almost spits out his coffee.
“E-Excuse me?” he croaks out, exasperated, and he’s coughing a little bit as he hits his chest with a fist to alleviate the irritation in his throat from some hot coffee that went down the wrong pipe.
“I mean, if it’s not an issue, I’d really appreciate it if you could marry me,” you attempt to clarify, but you realize you probably should’ve thought a little more about how you were going to ask him this, and now you’re too deep to backtrack, so you just hope you’ll find the conversation along the way.
He’s looking at you like you’ve got six heads, brow furrowed and mouth hanging open slightly with that what the fuck? face you see him wear sometimes. But then he sits up a bit straighter, expression morphing into a curious one as he studies your face, head tilting a little in his scrutinization. Then, his face relaxes entirely. He has this knowing look as he nods up and down slowly, like he just figured something out, and then he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in some type of faux frustration. And you don’t understand why you’re already seethingly angry about what he’s going to say next.
“Oh god,” he sighs, “I knew this day would come.”
“Huh?” you squeak out.
“Listen,” he says as he crosses his arms, but one of his hands comes out from where it was tucked in his elbow to waive around in the air as he articulates his words, “I know that I’m very charming, and handsome, and chivalrous, one might say the modern knight in shining armor–”
“Satoru.”
“–and yes, I’ve seen the way you look at me,” he dramatically sighs, “when I’m taking the groceries up the driveway…when I’m out mowing the lawn…when I stretch on the sidewalk before I go for a run. I feel your eyes on me like a hawk. Quite frankly, you look at me like I’m a piece of meat, and I feel very violated by it sometimes–”
“What the fuck are you talking about???”
“But I get it. Really, I do. There’s no need to be embarrassed about it–”
“I’m not embar–”
“It was really only a matter of time before you would do this. So overcome by your feelings for me that you just had to go against the grain of centuries of matrimonial standards and swallow your gigantic pride to propose to me.”
“Oh my god, what the fuck are you saying–”
“But,” he says, collecting himself now, and taking in a deep breath, “my answer is no. I mean, I shouldn’t have to explain why. But I will. First of all, where the hell is my ring? Secondly, why aren’t you on one knee in front of me right now? Also, in a cafe? Really? I thought you would’ve known I’d have liked something a little bit more romantic than this. Y’know, private, but also where my family’s somewhere around the corner. Maybe by the beach–”
“Can you stop talkin–”
“–while the sun is setting, and I’m wearing a nice dress, and there’s bubbles in the air and rose petals on the sand, and you tell me how enamored you’ve always been of me, and how you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with me,” he indulgently sighs, “I mean, it’s every guy’s dream. But nooooo, of course you’ve got no taste or sense for romance in any capac–”
“OH MY FUCKING GOD, FORGET THIS,” you stand up out of your chair, fast enough to where it almost falls backwards, and you grab your purse to sling over your shoulder, “I cannot believe I actually thought this plan would ever fucking work.” You’re about to walk away from the table, because you’re realigned with the wisdom of exactly why you can’t stand this man, when his hand reaches out quickly to grasp onto your wrist, to keep you still, and you jump a little from the contact. You look down, his hand unrelenting in its grip as his knuckles flex slightly, and you’re not sure if he’s ever touched you from how foreign the sensation feels.
“Wait,” he says, and when you look at him, his eyes are a little wide like a puppy, “you’re being serious?”
You yank your wrist out of his grip, but the warmth of his touch still lingers, and you wrap your own hand around it to distract yourself from it. “Why would I just ask you to marry me out of nowhere if I wasn’t being serious?”
He gives you a look like the answer to your question is obvious. “Uh, to fuck with me?”
You’re still holding onto your wrist, protectively pressing it against your chest with your back turned away from him slightly, and you look up at the sky for a brief second. Hm, perhaps you could have brought the favor up a bit better, and you realize it might’ve sounded insane on his end, and you’re also still thinking about the tens of thousands of dollars you could save if he said yes, and so you hesitantly open your body language up to him again.
“Just sit,” he sighs.
You take a seat across from him again, hands finding the warm coffee cup in front of you and you purse your lips together before tucking your bottom lip under your front teeth. You take a deep breath before speaking again. “I…I’m being serious. I was wondering if you could marry me as a favor, and not because I think you’re some type of irresistible man candy, god, where do you get your gigantic ego from?”
“I–”
“Rhetorical question, shut it.”
He blinks at you. “What favor are you asking for that’ll be satisfied by me marrying you?”
You twiddle with your thumbs. “I want to put my mom in hospice,” you say, eyes flickering down slightly because you’re worried you’re about to tear up from the words, but when you realize you’ve got enough conviction not to, you look back up at him, and his eyes on you are a little too observant, “most of the hospices in town are further away than I’d like, and really expensive, but I heard there was a Kaiser one nearby…and that a lot of the costs are covered by insurance. So, if you married me, I could send my mom there. And also, under your insurance, the care network would be better, so I could get her a new oncologist and neurologist, and I’d know she’s being taken care of. And…” you clear your throat, “well, it’ll be a lot less expensive, so I can start to catch up on…well, whatever, you get the picture.”
His eyes narrow at you in thought, and he glances at your hands on the table that are nervously fidgeting, and then his eyes meet yours again. “I’m not sure if you can add a…spouse’s parent to a healthcare plan?”
“You can,” you say, “I already called to ask.”
“Oh.”
“Mhm.”
Gojo hums to himself, laying his palms flat on his thighs and rubbing them back and forth on the taut fabric a few times as he thinks with his gaze set off somewhere in the distance. It seems like he’s running through some algorithm of thoughts in his head, and then he slowly nods to himself when he’s made a decision.
“Sure, I’ll do it,” he says.
“Y-You will?” you ask him. You’re uneasy at how easy it was to convince.
“Yeah. I like your mom. She’s a sweet lady, and I want to see her get better.”
His words touch you. And not from the distance of a ten foot pole like you’d usually allow, but more intimate somehow. And you get the feeling you should thank him, but you’re still pissed off from when he almost ran you over on your own driveway earlier this week.
“Really?” you make sure, almost like you’re hoping he’ll change his mind because now you’re suspicious as to why he agreed so quickly. And you realize he’s already making you paranoid.
“Yeah. I’m saying yes to your proposal, y/n,” he says, “I mean, a marriage is just a legal agreement. Not a big deal. I’d want a prenup though, for obvious reasons. In case you’re a gold digger.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re too cheap to even pitch in for a fucking fence. You think I’d believe you’ve got any gold to dig?”
He sighs. “I said in case.”
“Well, anyways, we can work out logistics and paperwork or whatever later,” you say, and you extend your hand out for him to shake it.
He raises an eyebrow at you. “Um. You’re going to make me shake your hand over this?”
“Yeah,” you shrug, “it’s the diplomatic thing to do.”
“Yes,” he says, “for a diplomatic agreement.”
“Precisely,” you say. “That’s exactly what this is.”
He hesitantly brings his hand up to shake yours, but you quickly withdraw yours at the last second. “Nevermind. I don’t want to touch you.”
“Okay,” he easily accepts, “not how I expected to celebrate getting engaged, but whatever. By the way, when’s the wedding? Are we doing, like, a shotgun destination type vibe? Or something a bit more grand?”
“Just be at the courthouse at noon on Sunday.”
“What?! This weekend? That’s too soon,” he panics, “I need time to pick out a dress, and I need to figure out who my bridesmaids are going to be, and–”
“Satoru. Seriously. Just–...just shut the fuck up. Before the headache that you’ve already given me gets worse.”
You two sit in silence for a moment, him just mindlessly staring at a butterfly that landed on the plant at the center of the table, and you just stare off into the void past him while contemplating every life decision you’ve ever made. But that’s how it always was between you two. As much as you hated to admit it, you were jealous of him in a lot of ways. In every way that you were fucked up, he was nonchalant without a care in the world. You wish you knew what that sort of peace felt like, and you wondered if he could show you. Maybe someday when he doesn’t piss you off.
“So,” he interrupts your thoughts, “are you gonna take my last name?”
“Fuck no, I’d rather die.”
“Alright, jeez, I was just asking.”
.
.
.
[end of chapter 1]
a/n. yayy!!! he said yes!! omg congrats on ur engagement!! haha this was a lot of fun to writeee :'') i've got sm fun ideas for this fic. yea this chap was supposed to be longer lol there's still some groundwork to lay w the side quests, but will def cover more of that in the next chapter!!! tysm to everyone that wanted to be on taglist omg i hope that you enjoyed <33 love uuu guysss smmmm also my bad if some stuff doesnt make sense i'm tryna be less perfectionist when i'm editing so that i don't go insane 😍
➸ take me to chapter two!
taglist: @tremendousbouquetflower @cowgirlcujoh @joemama-2 @shinypearlywhites @sykosugu @lovebittenbyevans @luqueam @bloopsstuff @horisdope @alwaysfreakingout @crammingqueen @rideofthevalkyriess @lavender-hvze @gojocock @ceni707 @jxvajxy @catobsessedlady @madaqueue @bbyxxm @gojostit @nixie-19 @cheezitcracker @polarbvnny @cactisjuice @sleepyyammy @lysaray @k4tsukiis @kortanasworld @megumisthirdog @slut-4-gojo @drakenswifeyy @njoxuzi @elernity @jujutsubaby @secretmoneybearvoid @bunny-lily @strawberrygirl0 @httpxxg @bsdicinindirdim @v4mpieres @nanamis-baker @therealestpussyeater @air3922 @13-09-01 @marija4674 @whereflowerswenttodie @geniejunn @bakuhoethotski @ricaliscious @77uchiha77 @hellowoolf @tobaccosunbxrst @possumwho @nvrgojover @kittygrimm88 @samistars @shiin-ye @billiondollarworth @mmeerraa @fjorjestertealeaf @reinam00n @semra4 @st4ryki @new-weather47 @coltsgf @meownuuuu @strawnanamilk @lees-chaotic-brain @ironhottubstranger @spindyl @aise-30 @dunghirse @r0ckst4rjk @44ina @4y3sh4 @lindyloomoo @sweetpo1son @levisfavoriteteashop @delfiiii @fushitoru @gojosimp26 @beabadobeee @astrokenny @horisdope @muchlov3ashley @geniejunn @the-dark-creature @gojonegs @ritzes28 @mo0nforme @drownedpoetss
hope yalls fries never get soggy ever 💕
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#jjk gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#smut#fluff#angst#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo x you#long fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk series#romance#fake dating#fake marriage#neighbors au#ongoing series#humor#slow burn#mutual pining#enemies to lovers#gojo x reader series
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The 2025 Fanfic Reading Challenge
Welcome to another year of the Fanfic Reading Challenge (FRC)!
I won't bore you with the history of the challenge, this year, but I will welcome you to check out past posts that do explain some of it, as well as include a brief overview of what, exactly, this challenge is, though it does change year to year. (Essentially you read fics to complete goals and win bragging points and an artsy badge.)
This year is especially different, as I had the extreme pleasure of having @noxsoulmate as a partner in crime in keeping me hostage on track to completing this year's FRC. Another valued member of the mod team is @jandjsalmon and speaks for all of us if you need questions answered!
As for the challenge....
This is, indeed, a challenge. Of course.
First of all... you must obviously read fanfiction. As if you don't already!
You also need to download and make your own copy of the spreadsheet, which can be found here, as well as below in the important links section.
To participate in the challenge, you read fics that match the tasks in the challenge. An example of a task can be: "read a fic with a title containing the word purple in it." Should be easy! Of course, there are harder ones.
Which is why there are different modes of challenge to the FRC. These are as follows:
Participation (Complete 1 task)
Regular Mode (Complete 80 tasks)
Hard Mode (Complete 150 tasks)
Extreme Mode (Complete 220 tasks)
Complete (Complete 250 tasks)
The challenge lasts from January 1st, 2025, to December 31st, 2025.
There are badges that go with the modes completed, and even a secret 6th badge that will be fairly obvious if you look at the spreadsheet! Doesn't mean it'll be easy to complete though. *smirks* (Blame Noxy)
Most important of all: this challenge operates on the honour system. We don't check your work, or your reading logs (see below), so I mean, I guess if you want to be slippery with the rules, you do you, and that's on your conscience, but honestly it's so much fun to see how much you can get done by following the letter of the law/tasks! You can be slippery even with following the tasks fully. It's great fun. ;D
I think that's enough for an intro, really, maybe too much.
Important Links and Reading Logs/Trackers
As there is a component of the FRC that includes tracking numbers of words read, most of us use a reading log/tracker to keep count of how many fics we read, including data such as words, of course, chapters, month completed, ship, author, title, fandom, link to the fic, and such. It's a great place to mark what fics you want to read in the future as well!
This year we have FOUR trackers on offer, quite different from one another, so take a look, play around with them and check out their "intros", and choose according to what you think will work best for you!
Fic Tracking Sheets
Juulna's 2025 Reading Log
Noxy's 2025 Reading Log
2025 Jandy's Fic Tracker
Taru's Fic Tracker 2025
Discord
We have a blast on Discord. From general chatter to sharing pet pics to being there for each other during the tough times to forming lasting friendships and making friendships you’d never make in a ship- or fandom-specific Discord, to asking for help ‘rolling the dice’ (pick a number between 1-10!) to choose the next fic to read, to finding some of the really challenging task fills in fandoms people might not have ever read but are willing to try, or finding fandoms someone has never read and is very tentative about stepping out of their box, but they’re being 100% supported and know they don’t need to complete the fic for it to count for the task, stepping out of their comfort zone… we’ve formed a very odd group of, if not friends, then companions (but there are definite friendships that have formed!! Just ask the people who have started watching NHL and NFL together in our off topic channel!).
In any case, our Discord is not necessary, but it is a worthy and tactical element to completing many of the tasks of this challenge. 💙
And.... without further ado....!
The 2025 Fanfic Reading Challenge! (link)
There is an info/rules page as the first sheet on the spreadsheet that should fill in any further questions you have. It also has more contact info than just this page if you have any further questions and perhaps need a more immediate answer for your needs.
*Occasionally you will run into something that looks like an error, and it may in fact be one! Let us know if you see it. It's hard not to make a mistake on as large a spreadsheet as this.*
Please, first of all, have fun and just read fanfiction that you enjoy! I (Juulna) did that last year and didn't even come close to completing the entire challenge, and I still had a blast because I was enjoying what I was reading and rereading. Others took the challenge right to the completed end. Others forgot about it halfway through but still had fun, and some even went back and filled in the sheet for a really good showing! The challenge is what you make of it, what you want from it. So... just have fun. Read fic. Smile. Enjoy. :)
Second of all... well, we would love if you signal boost this post!!!!
Third of all, we do have our pinned post that includes a link to this page and that will include a link to our Discord and all our trackers as well, including past links for memento and informative purposes.
Thank you, and a blessed 2025 to all!
#2025frc#2025 fic reading challenge#fic reading challenge#fanfic reading challenge#reading challenge#fandom events#fanfiction#challenges#goals#2025 goals#new year's resolutions
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Notes goal post methinks
idk
20 notes i’ll finish my current art piece
40 notes i’ll finish the current fic im working on
60 notes i’ll draw my four favourite ocs
80 notes i’ll start posting the backstories of said ocs
100 notes i’ll start taking my meds again
120 notes i’ll pick up the massive art project i started ages ago again
140 notes i’ll ask my dad for the BSD cosplay + the other costume i wanted
160 notes i’ll come out to my grandparents as trans
180 notes i’ll start trying to eat regularly
200 notes i’ll start doing makeup again
220 notes i’ll post some more cosplays
240 notes i’ll move back in with my parents
1k notes i’ll finally start writing the script of that movie i always wanted to write
2k I’ll ask for therapy + actual help from my parents
3k i’ll fix my sleep schedual
4k i’ll take breaks between study sessions
30 notes per person, tagging is okay
don’t think i’ll get that many notes tbh
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