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illusionremember · 1 month ago

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Title: Building Something on the Side of the Road in Heaven

Teaser: "There’s something incredibly fulfilling about knowing he has someone to come home to, that he gets to build something with. That he gets to build that with Cas."

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I am late to the party lol but I had such a good time putting this story together! A thousand thank yous to @alkalidumpling for your invaluable midnight feedback!

This is my submission for the @destielvalentineszine2025! There are so many fantastic pieces of art and writing coming out of this project. Please go check out everyone else's work! And thank you so much to @disabled-dean and @butch--dean for putting this all together! <3

I'll be posting this to my Ao3 later today and will update this with a link then. Maybe a pretty header too.

Read here on Ao3, or, you can hit the keep reading button below! ;D

~*~*~

Dean is driving home in Heaven.

Right now, the road cuts through a forest, one of those big Pacific coast ones, with the giant redwoods. He’s got the window down, but the radio is off for now, because he’s listening to the trees singing. Their deep woodwind tones resonate in the air as the Impala rolls by underneath. Maybe he’ll bring Cas back here sometime. They can sit under the trees and feel the notes in their bones. He doesn’t know whose patch of Paradise he’s passing through, but he likes their style. He might have stopped to listen, but he has somewhere to be soon.

He doesn’t actually need to drive, of course. He could just wish himself home — close his eyes and concentrate and let Heaven shift around him. Less than a moment, and he’d be right in his cozy living room, in the little lakeside farmhouse that he and Cas have made into home. Instead, he’s got miles of road ahead to go.

It’s tempting to rush, given what today is, but Dean’s been working on learning to savor anticipation. It helps that now the things on the horizon tend to be good things, instead of apocalyptic horrors that he is somehow meant to counter.

Dean casts a glance at the now-empty passenger’s side of Baby’s bench seat. He recalls Cas sitting there, a lifetime ago now, the scent of sunflowers clinging to his coat. They’d stopped on the side of the road so Cas could take a closer look at the wall of sunflowers bordering a farmer’s field. Dean remembers the way the stalks had wavered in the prairie wind that day, their golden crowns all turned in the same direction. Cas had followed their gaze to look up at the sun. “You’ll go blind looking at the sun like that you know,” Dean had told him, but Cas had only smiled.

Sunflowers would be nice, probably. Cas would like them. Dean blinks, and three sunflowers lie next to him on the seat, neatly bundled with a blue ribbon.

It’s four years today since their wedding, according to Cas. He has to help Dean keep track of milestone dates now. Not that Dean doesn’t make an effort, but as an angel, Cas is just better at tracking the strange way that time passes here, compared to on Earth.

Upstairs, an hour can stretch into innumerable days, or compress into an instant. Cas tried to explain it to him once, but the celestial math involved is way more complex than Dean is capable of following, even without the limitations of physical form.

Atoms and time and mass don’t really exist here, but humans live by the laws of physics — solid, three-dimensional, linear. Even when a soul has been in Heaven far longer than it had lived, perceiving Paradise usually means translating abstraction into something readable.

Dean does not find celestial time readable at all.

Celestial space, however — that is something that Dean’s oddly good at navigating, for a human. There’s an art to understanding Heaven’s landscape that most human souls struggle with, on account of the abstraction. Traversing unpredictable space that can and will spontaneously change can be difficult. Cas thinks it helps that Dean had a lifetime of practice at rolling with the punches, always forging a way forward despite all odds. Dean thinks it’s because he’s always been good with maps.

Today, the soul he’d ferried across Heaven had been chatty. Dean likes getting the opportunity to talk, to learn people’s names. Her name was Tara, and she’d treated Baby like a lady, which won her Dean’s immediate approval.

“So, Heaven’s Uber driver,” she’d said, with humor. “How’d you land that job?”

“My husband suggested it,” Dean had told her.

It still surprises him how easy that feels to say — my husband. Not that Dean was in the closet, exactly. He just figured it wasn’t anyone’s business but his. No point or purpose in drawing attention to it. By the time he’d even realized that love was fully on the table instead of tucked out of reach on the shelf, it had been too late to live it. Now, just thinking the word makes a warm glow fill his chest.

When Dean dropped his passenger off, she’d kissed his cheek before she jumped out of the car. Tara’s first love wore a pink dress, and was waiting by the road with roses in hand. Always a smart idea, he’d figured, the flowers.

Dean guides the Impala around a curve in the road, and Cas’s flowers slide across the seat. He slaps a hand against the stems to keep them from falling, cusses when his hand hits a thorn. There’s a deep red rose in with the sunflowers. Dean moves the flowers closer to the backrest and sticks his finger in his mouth, but the sting is already gone, with no trace of broken skin.

Dean likes driving, is the thing. That hasn’t changed since dying. He could just wish himself home, but he’s got all of eternity spread out before him. Might as well make use of it. Taking the long way around is a much better way for him to go about his afterlife than skipping through.

When he was alive, and they weren’t rushing to a job, Dean would take the paper maps out of the glove compartment while Sam checked them out of their motel. Sam and Cas would chat over diner coffee and eggs, and Dean would trace his finger down the squiggles of highways and backroads. He’d look for out-of-the-way towns and strange, rural landmarks they’d never passed by before. It was fun, getting to explore. Getting to take their time.

You’d think in Heaven they’d have nothing but time. Which, they did, but that also meant finding ways to make use of that time was important.

At first, Dean couldn’t shake the feeling like he was still hunting, chasing that goalpost of peace and fulfillment ever in the distance. He was tired of chasing. He wanted to slow down, to build something.

When Dean had first arrived, Cas and Jack’s reconstruction project was still fresh enough you could taste the drywall dust. They’d been busy knocking down the walls that divided up Heaven. Freedom of choice and movement would be the lay of the land, rather than keeping souls complacent with familiar trappings and fond memories. Less hallways and closed doors, Cas had said.

Human souls simply do not handle isolation all that well. People wanted their loved ones back — the real deal, not eternal reruns of their greatest hits. Even favorite memories wear thin after a while. They want to create things. They want more time, new time, with family, with old loves and childhood friends.

The current model of Heaven is far less structured. As it turns out, allowing human creativity to affect the way souls perceive and experience their afterlife is a lot more effective, if chaotic, as a means towards happiness. Most souls tend to self-manage their corners of Paradise without the rigid constraints of memory just fine. Traversing Heaven to find each other is where things get tricky, which is where Dean comes in.

The singing redwoods are far behind now. Dean is finally reaching his neck of the woods, as it were, the bleed of other people’s Heavens falling away. He passes the Roadhouse and smiles. For their wedding, they’d kept things simple. Ellen had let them drag all the tables outside, which Charlie and Jo had decorated with flowers in refurbished beer bottles. Mary and Bobby had strung lights up all around. Someone (Sam, probably) had gotten Cas out of his trench coat and into jeans and a blazer, to match Dean’s. Jack led the ceremony. Dean remembered some kind of flower in Cas’s buttonhole as they’d said their vows in front of their family. Everything else had faded away but Castiel’s voice, and the raw sincerity in his eyes.

They’d considered coming to the Roadhouse tonight, to commemorate the occasion. But since Cas is home for the first time in a while, and Dean had this last-minute job today, they’ve decided they’ll stay in, just the two of them. Dean wants every minute with his husband he can get. He’d have postponed this trip, but who was he to deny someone else their own Valentine’s reunion? Dean understood. What is the point of Paradise if you can’t be with those you love?

The first year or so (as far as Dean could tell) after they’d gotten hitched had been a long and well-deserved honeymoon.

They finally had the time to relax into each other. Dean continued his crusade to introduce Cas to culture. Cas taught him how to manipulate Heaven so they could create their home together. Dean finally learned what fifth base was. There was laundry, and stargazing, and pancakes, and so many kisses. They intertwined themselves in ways that wouldn’t have been possible were Dean still in his earthly body, threading the fingers of Cas’s grace through his soul.

Dean has had a lot of daydreams over the years about what retirement might look like for him. He’d never quite dared to imagine what his ideal afterlife might look like. Hell, he counts himself lucky he got any of this at all.

It doesn’t stop it from being hard when Cas keeps having to leave him, even now.

While Dean might be dead and retired, Cas is still an angel. In the beginning of their marriage, Jack had given them as much time together as he could spare.

But there’s still a lot of work to do Upstairs, and Cas is nothing if not diligent in his sense of duty.

Jack doesn’t want to make the same mistakes Chuck had, with his control-freak author crap. This is the new Heaven — one where everyone shares the role of creator, to a degree. If any angel understands what it means to make choices — as well as what the Heavenly host had been like when choices weren’t allowed — it was Castiel.

Sometimes, Dean wants to be mad at Jack about it. Hasn’t Cas been strung along by the other angels for millennia already? If Dean deserves a break after mere decades of apocalypses and torture and curses that threatened the integrity of his very soul, then doesn’t Cas?

Of course, Cas doesn’t see it that way. Cas wants to help fix things. It’s who he is — the cracked angel, always trying to put things back together again. Over time, he’d spent longer and longer times away from home; they’d fought about it more than once.

“What am I, your housewife?” Dean had snapped. “You’re off all the time doing literally God knows what. Meanwhile I’m stuck waiting here all ‘When will my husband return from the war?’”

“Dean, we’re not at war, for once.” Cas had laid a hand on his shoulder; it was downright stupid how much that calmed him. “You deserve to be at peace now, Dean. You’ve done your part.”

“And you haven’t?” Dean had protested. “They’ve had you for-frigging-ever. Literally. It’s my turn.”

“Dean,” Cas had said, his voice gentle, “I already have more than I deserve. I should be sleeping in the Empty right now. By all rights, I never should have escaped there the first time.”

“Don’t say that, Cas.”

“And instead,” Cas had bulldozed ahead, “I get to spend as much of the rest of eternity as I can with the man that I love. I’m making reparations to Heaven. If we can make things different here, replace all these broken foundations�� then we can stop anything like the Apocalypse, or the Leviathans, or Chuck, from ever happening again. For everyone, in Heaven and on Earth.”

He’d stepped in close, cradling Dean’s face in his hands. “We have eternity, my love. You can spare me for a little while, just now and then.”

“Well, maybe I wanna help too,” Dean had grumbled, kissing Castiel’s palm. “You ever think of that?”

And suddenly it had all clicked, why he was upset. It’s not just that Cas is gone half the time, but that Dean is restless in a place where he is meant to be at rest.

No monsters to fight, and having a quiet, sunlit home he shares with the love of his life (and afterlife) is amazing, don’t get him wrong. But part of what makes Dean feel at peace has always been taking care of people. He needs something more to do than just hang out. He likes having a job, something that makes a difference, that makes people happy.

The Impala’s tires kick up dust as Dean finally reaches the familiar drive around the lake. He turns the radio up now, belting out classic love songs and thinking of Cas.

There are lilies in the bouquet now, and peonies, and a dozen other kinds of flowers that Dean’s not sure he knows the names of. He amuses himself for a while, making up new flowers that only exist in his imagination, their petals a familiar ombré of blue.

The sun is still not-quite-high in the sky, same as it was when he left hours ago this morning. He holds his hand out the open window, catching the air pressure against his fingers. It’s going to be a beautiful day, and he’s almost home. This time, his husband is the one waiting for him.

It had been Cas’s idea for Dean to put some of his skill with forging pathways through Heaven to work. Reuniting souls isn’t instantaneous. In theory, Jack is certainly capable of it, but Dean isn’t the only one who chafes a little under eternal peace. Apparently, it’s just good for human souls to have goals to strive for, but learning to navigate Paradise in order to pursue them doesn’t come easily.

Most souls are accustomed to the confinement of their personal Heavens. The familiar parameters of Earth physics linger. Freedom of movement notwithstanding, trying to locate a particular soul in the whole of Heaven is difficult when you don’t understand how the metaphysics work.

A large part of it, Dean has realized, is about will. About faith. “What is it they say?” Dean had joked, Cas already squinting at the shit-eating grin on Dean’s face, “Where there’s a will there’s a way?”

That had earned Dean an eye-roll so hard he could feel Cas shifting against his shoulder, even as Cas admitted, “In simplest terms, yes, I suppose that’s true.”

He’d raised a hand then, and turned it in the air, winding the sun backwards across the sky like the hands of a clock. Out across the lake, the sky visible from their back porch had gone from sunset to sunrise in an instant. “All this is, is perception,” Cas had said. “You make your world what you want of it.”

Dean had looked down at Cas, curled up with him on their porch swing, comfortable and open. “I’ve got everything I want right here,” he’d said, leaning in to claim a kiss.

In practice, will and faith means they can put another soul in Dean’s passenger seat, tell them that he’ll get them where they need to go, and that surety builds the road right under the Impala’s wheels.

Right now, that road is leading Dean home.

Dean likes having something he can do to contribute, while Cas is off helping Jack parent the new angels or renovating Heaven. He finds that he likes, on occasion, getting to be the one that comes home to find his husband waiting. There’s something incredibly fulfilling about knowing he has someone to come home to, that he gets to build something with. That he gets to build that with Cas. It’s the biggest, most precious thing Dean has ever wanted for himself. He gets to have that now.

Dean pulls up in front of the house and turns off the engine. He gathers up the flowers (piled two feet high now) off the passenger side and carries them into the house, trying not to crush them all.

“Cas?” he calls out. “I’m home, sweetheart.” He pauses, listens, but there’s only the sound of birdsong from outside. He can smell pie — blueberry, he thinks, and peach. The house is too quiet.

Maybe Cas got called away. The thought pings at him like an alarm, but Dean shakes it off. He carries the flowers through to the kitchen, lays them out on the table. Jack knows what day this is. He wouldn’t pull Cas away, unless there was some kind of unforeseen disaster. More likely, Cas is just outside somewhere. He likes to wander.

There’s an enormous basket of strawberries on the counter. Dean’s pretty sure those are for later, but he steals one, relishing the punch of sweetness on his tongue. A peach-and-blueberry pie is cooling on the windowsill. Mixing bowls and measuring spoons and the rolling pin are waiting in the sink to be washed. Through the kitchen window, out by the edge of the lake, Dean can see the silhouette of his husband.

Dean leaves the flowers in a pile to mess with later; he kind of likes the idea of Cas coming in only to find the house drowning in flowers. At the thought, the flowers multiply, blossoms piled on every open surface in the living room, even growing out of the floor like carpeting. That… wasn’t part of the plan, but that’ll make Cas laugh, so he leaves it. He selects a single sunflower from the table and pushes open the back door.

Holding the flower behind his back, Dean comes up behind his husband, already smiling. Cas doesn’t turn around, but when Dean winds an arm around his waist, he leans into him. Dean kisses his shoulder, the side of his neck, his ear. With the sun shining gold on his face, Cas closes his eyes and smiles.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Sunshine.”

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #2025 Destiel Anniversary Zine #fanfiction #tay speaks #my fanfiction #my writing #supernatural fanfiction #destiel fanfiction #valentine's day #queer stories #spn #destiel wedding anniversary #dean and cas got hitched at the roadhouse in heaven <3

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destielvalentineszine2025 · 5 months ago

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Announcing the 2025 Destiel Wedding Anniversary Valentines Zine!

Organized by @disabled-dean & @butch--dean

About the event:

A fan zine to celebrate Destiel's 4th wedding anniversary and the importance of fandom and community!

We do not intend to make any money through this, and will be offering as low-cost options as possible for the final project (a free e-zine, a low-cost option for printing it yourself, and/or a higher-quality physical copy). Should there be any leftover funds after production & shipping costs, we plan to donate any money to a charity (TBD - if you have a suggestion please let us know!).

We will be posting more info about how to order the zine at a later date!

The goal of this event is to create a place to come together as a community during this particularly difficult time. Such an important part of survival is community, and we wanted to create a way to foster connections, offer support, and celebrate the joy in life that feeds resilience & our day-to-day survival.

About the discord server:

Join us on the Destiel V-Day Zine 2025 discord "rehearsal dinner"! Our goal for the discord is to create chances to form connections with others in the fandom (through regular ice breaker convo topics), to share your creative projects, and as a community resource.

You do not need to join the discord to participate in the event, and you do not need to be contributing to the zine to join in! Everyone is welcome!

Submission Ideas:

prose & poetry (3,000 word limit)

art

graphics, collages, and edits

valentines

playlists

gift registries or other wedding planning materials

fandom histories

and anything else you can think of (that can be printed in a physical zine)

Please note that the e-zine will be available in both full color & black and white, but the physical copy is currently planned to be in black and white in order to keep costs down.

We will post more details about submission guidelines at a later date. Templates may be provided for some submission types, like gift registries or playlists.

Submissions

Please send all submissions to [email protected] with whatever contact info you'd like your submission listed under (ex: preferred name and tumblr username).

Submissions will be accepted until end of day February 14th 2025.

Contributors are welcome to submit more than one piece, but depending on interest, we may need to limit contributions to one per person. In the event that this is necessary, we will reach out to you after submissions close to confirm which you'd like included in the official printed zine.

You are encouraged to post your submissions on February 14th & to tag us/send them to us to share!

Links:

Discord server

#2025 Destiel Anniversary Zine #supernatural #destiel #supernatural events #dean winchester #castiel #about #about the event

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cyberhalfling · 1 month ago

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Happy Destiel Wedding Anniversary :)

My submission for the @destielvalentineszine2025 ! I had to put Dean in a dress. This is very inspired by the Batman/Catwoman wedding special, and the costume design of Joelle Jones <3

#destiel wedding anniversary 2025 #destiel #destiel fanart #spn fanart #batman/catwoman #joelle jones #dean in a dress #destiel zine #digital art #artists on tumblr #supernatural fanart

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disabled-dean · 4 months ago

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Hi. I just saw the Destiel Wedding Zine post, but the Discord link has expired. Can I still join the server?

Yes!! Server is thirty, flirty and thriving. We would love for you to join:

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szlez · 1 month ago

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Ahahaha, 😅

This time the freckles weren’t omitted (albeit not thanks to me but my very observant friend). This time I forgot the wedding ring! In the an art for a wedding anniversary zine! There’s no hope for me.

Hence a reblog for the wedding ring

Kiss the Groom

Art for @destielvalentineszine2025

Taglist

Pls DM me if you want to be added to tag list or removed from it.

@aniona29, @blackhorsedances , @cosmiccowboycass, @denimshortsdean, @dotti55, @famouskidangel, @hopefuldreamers-world, @markofcastiel , @malicmalic , @meeshsen , @passiveagressivepoet, @shipsawayandusuallygay, @squirrelsarecool, @strawlessandbraless , @writteninthestarsinyoureyes .

#spn #supernatural #destiel #2025 destiel anniversary zine

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destielvalentineszine2025 · 2 months ago

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Submissions for the 2025 Destiel Wedding Anniversary Zine are due this Friday!!

A reminder: you are completely welcome to post your submissions at any time - but please consider tagging us to get the word out!

Also, if you’re seeing this close to the deadline or on Valentine’s Day & you’ve made something for the day that you think fits with our prompt (but was not originally created for this event OR any other fandom event) - please feel free to submit it!! 💘

See our pinned post for more info about how to submit to the zine!

#supernatural #destiel #destiel wedding #valentines #fandom events #spn event #spn events #supernatural events #supernatural zine

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illusionremember · 1 month ago

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You can now read my piece on Ao3 right here! <3

Title: Building Something on the Side of the Road in Heaven

Teaser: "There’s something incredibly fulfilling about knowing he has someone to come home to, that he gets to build something with. That he gets to build that with Cas."

~*~*~

I am late to the party lol but I had such a good time putting this story together! A thousand thank yous to @alkalidumpling for your invaluable midnight feedback!

I'll be posting this to my Ao3 later today and will update this with a link then. Maybe a pretty header too. Or, you can hit the keep reading button below! ;D