#2022 was the year of medical bingo for me

[majorshiraharu]

Me coming back on here every few months just to try and remember who is who because usernames and pfp change ;-; sorry if I forget who some of yall are due to this, my memory problems aren’t kind to me lol I wish I could be more active on here, I miss writing and I really miss friends and the community on here. Life just isn’t the best tho and I sadly have to put most of my limited energy into irl stuff :/  I hope you are all doing well <3

[aftgficrec]

Hellooooo, I can’t believe this is open!1!1!!1 First of all, I wanted to thank you all so much for all the work you do!

I wanted to ask for fics about the twinyards pretending to be each other. Mainly light funny ones if you find them but any will do. Thank you so much!!!

Hi there, anon! Most of the light funny ones can be found in our previous ask for this. -A

NB: in longer fics this could just be a quick switch, so read them with that in mind

previous recs:

the twins switch 1 here

‘the glow in our mouths’ and ‘The Morning AUs Chapter 52: The Parent Trap AU’ here

‘The one with Kevaaron’ here

‘Aftg Youtube AU’ here

‘Forming a Family; Forging a Future’ here

you may also like:

Neil mistakes Aaron for Andrew here

twinyard mistaken identity here

‘If I Knew You’ here

aaron minyard is a little bit cursed series by BlueJay26 [Rated G, 2 complete works, Updated June 2023, Locked]

Part 1: Jeremy Knox Solves the Transmutation Question: Baffles Centuries' Worth of Alchemists [1429 Words, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022] [Merriam-Webster] metamorphosis| \ˌme-tə-ˈmȯr-fə-səs\ : a change of physical form, structure, or substance especially by supernatural means // the metamorphosis of a perfectly nice teak table into gold (by your baby cousin who won't stop getting cursed) Or, Nicky endures the twins' shenanigans in every possible universe. **Written for Twinyards Appreciation Week, prompt - metamorphosis**

Part 2: AITA? No. Am I cursed? Very probably. [505 Words] I impersonated my twin brother to play a trick on his boyfriend. AITA?

AFTG Bingo 2k18: The Twinyard Card by exactly13percent [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2018] 

Chapter 2: Pretend College is difficult enough to navigate without Andrew playing games with Aaron's best friend.

Two of a Kind by gluupor [Rated T, 9957 Words, Complete, 2019]

When Aaron didn't get offered an exy scholarship while Andrew did, they came up with a plan. Andrew would play exy and Aaron would go to class. No one would ever know that they were actually two separate people. What could possibly go wrong?

After Aaron goes to Andrew’s Press conference by @iserenademefan [Tumblr, 2018]

Andrew and Aaron pretending to be eachother by @offbrandginger [Tumblr, 2017]

angstier twins switch:

‘Give Me Another Minute (to Lay Here in Your Echo)’ and ‘another turning point, a fork stuck in the road’ here

‘Unlucky Lies’ here 

‘aparecium’ here 

‘Brother’s Best-Friend’ here

‘white walls’ here

‘Deals With Devils’ here (updated)

Doctor, What Doctor by AceSirenSinger [Rated T, 4081 Words, Complete, 2023]

And then, unfortunately, Aaron has an idea. The idea itself is almost not worth having. It is deeply unethical. It is the opposite of ‘do no harm,’ and it is not even guaranteed to work. Aaron actually thinks that this idea might be worse for his license than performing illegal care on a probable criminal in a back alley in the dark. No, Aaron thinks, it is undeniably worse. “You’re a survivor,” Aaron repeats. “You should already be dead, but you’re not. You should pass out sometime in the next few minutes, but I’m guessing you won’t.” Aaron squares his shoulders, makes himself say the words. “If I give you an address, can you get there? •• An AU where Aaron is a doctor, Andrew is FBI, and Neil’s gone rogue against the mafia. Neil needs medical care, and it really should be Aaron performing it, right? Right??

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: major character injury, tw: blood, tw: violence, tw: needles

Your love is my drug by babyprincess675 [Rated G, 24524 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

Andrew Minyard’s life has been painfully mediocre for years since high school, nothing but guilt keeping him alive up until his twin brother invites him to his Christmas themed wedding in Alaska, where everything changes. Or Andrew gets invited to Aaron’s wedding after years of no contact and things go wrong.

tw: anxiety disorder, tw: suicide attempt, tw: overdose, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: violence, tw: alcohol

in a manner of speaking by likearecord [Rated T, 6335 Words, Complete, 2021]

In Andrew's defense, blind dates are terrible and almost all of Kevin's friends are even worse. Nine times out of ten, calling in a favor to get Aaron to switch and tank it for him would be fine. Unfortunately, Andrew found number ten.

Crossfire by RoseGold_En [Rated M, 18396 Words, Complete, 2018]

The year is 2073. Andrew and Aaron Minyard are twins born into a world with a strict one-child policy due to overpopulation. They take on a singular identity as "Adam Minyard", with only one of them allowed outside at a time. Siblings who are discovered are separated from their families and put into an eternal cryosleep. One day, Andrew disappears. Aaron and Nicky have to find him while maintaining the twins' cover. It's up to Aaron to find out who sold them out and why a bureau agent named "Neil" knows his brother's real name.

tw: vomit, tw: alcohol, tw: violence, tw: gun violence, tw: death, tw: choking, tw: blood, tw: involuntary outing, tw: fire, tw: needles

Secret twin royalty au by @professionalfangirl24601 [Tumblr, 2021]

When queen Tilda gave birth to male identical twins, she knew it could be a threat to her country's future stability. In order to avoid the brothers fighting for the throne, she decided to give one of them up. He would be raised by a maid and then imprisoned with an iron mask constantly covering his face. 

Backliner Andrew by @palmettofoxden [Tumblr, 2017]

Part 1: Andrew takes Aaron's place  Part 2: Andrew takes Aaron’s place - follow-up ideas  Part 3: Backliner Andrew 3/? 

aaron is fat and buff too!!! hc by @palmett-hoes [Tumblr, 2020]

they're deals on deals on deals. meta by @thespineoftherighteous [Tumblr, 2023]

Art

Minyards art by @lnmei

HAPPY TWINYARD DAY!!! art by @babaleza

Aaron and Andrew sand castle building art by @emry-stars-art

POV: You’re Riko and the Twinyards are burying your body. art by @/capt.christine on instagram

nerdy Minyards art by @/intradaya on instagram

Mindyards on defense art by @/kulartly on instagram

andrew & aaron sarcastic healing art by @oliviaillustrations

[xdemonicheartx]

Ive been struggling a lot with my self image to the point I’m having breakdowns in the mirror. I need help from anyone who can.

I’m AFAB agender/non binary and ive got some gripes about me I want help in altering in any way if I could get help finding resources or workouts or anything that would help me achieve a more masculine silhouette I would kiss you on the mouth (with your consent of course )

I am 24 years old, 5’7”/170.18cm, 195lbs/88.5kg, type one diabetic, neurodivergent (diagnosed ADHD, high suspicion of comorbid Autism though i cannot get an official diagnosis because the waitlist closest to home is a 2 year wait as of 2022) fibromyalgia is also present for anyone who needs any context regarding health concerns surrounding medical procedures they might recommend or suggest

Below are the things I need help in changing as a list with some details surrounding my anatomical structure

My goal is to be completely unsure if I’m a male or female with a look alone but with androgyny that can be a pretty broad area. I know if I gain upper body musculature that can help but I cannot afford a gym membership yet

vvv More below vvv

I have an exceptionally voluptuous butt. Its almost comical to me, I would say I’m slim-thick or pear shaped. Its the type of back end that a lot of cis femme women would covet, its mostly muscle tissue due to years of athletics but theres also scar tissue from years of insulin injections

My hips are VERY wide. Like I said I’m pear shaped, I hate the curvy figure I have and its rounded edges, I have small pockets of fat resting on my hips that only add to the figure

I have a very stubborn hormonal fat deposit on my stomach I want to stop oral birth control which is the most likely culprit but I currently cannot until I can get a hysterectomy

I have a muffin top and artificial hip dips due to fat deposits that I am looking to tame

Chest dysphoria, I don’t have large boobs, they’re a perky B/C cup. I would consider top surgery but I don’t know how to bring that up with my partner. I do use a fytist binder and I love how my chest looks flat/with nice pectoral muscle (even if its smushed boob). My partner loves the way I am shaped overall but I do not. (He/him/they/them bisexual)

Facial features are so rounded and I cant contour to save my life. I know losing weight will be seen in the face first but what else can I do?

Speaking of face I have loose skin under my chin thats not a double chin but any type of glance downward makes a pseudo double chin and I’m incredibly insecure about it. I have a relatively feminine jaw line and I have a jaw exerciser/silicone bite that I need to use more. Are neck tucks something available for me?

I have hooded eyes, they make me look so tired. I know eye lid lifts are a procedure but thats something I would need to save up for and plan for, I am unsure if losing weight would change this

The triceps of my arms feel like they’re on the road to bingo wings/bat wings, I know the tricep is supposed to hang freely when relaxed and not in use but when my arm hands at my side there is a bit of pudge above my elbow that says “body fat” and not soft muscle

I understand weight loss can help with a small handful of these and muscle building can too but there are additional features and traits that cannot be worked for aside from medical intervention and cosmetic electives. I’m looking for workouts, medical procedures and price ranges, shapewear, makeup tutorials, diets that help in weight loss or muscle gain, and literally anything else that might help me feel like this is my body. Its becoming a large hinderance on my mental wellbeing

I really cannot keep dwelling on how my body is wrong when its something I am stuck with for life so all I can do is work to alter it and care for it. However I know these alterations are possible. Ive seen incredible transformations and transitions within the trans community and NB communities and I’m really hoping some of your experiences can be passed onto me so that I can live as myself too

I appreciate those that have taken the time to read this far. Thank you

[tellmewhatyouc]

fic writer year in review

i compiled this list of prompts to reflect on a year of fic writing/reading, and here's my own answers!

✨ the first fic you wrote/posted this year

beneath the stars, my first blade/huey fic! this was from when i had little jars of nu:c characters on paper and word prompts for brainstorming

✨ your most written fandom, character, and/or ship

fandom: nu: carnival character: quincy ship: blade & quincy

✨ the fic you had the most fun writing this year

not TECHNICALLY a fic but i have a nukani modern AU going in rp threads, we have a cast-wide polycule with a focus on quincy, kuya, blade, rei, and it's been SO FUN

✨ your most used tags

fluff, pre-canon, modern AU, friendship, angst (are we surprised)

✨ a time you tried something new (character ship, fandom, style, trope, etc)

i wrote for a handful of new fandoms: coffee talk, qsmp, genloss, and ordem paranormal! with genloss i tried a new genre in horror, which i never expected to enjoy TBH. also just juggling multiple fandoms at a time was never My Thing but i love it now i understand i've changed

✨ the fic you're most proud of this year

ummM i'm very proud of finishing not quite anointed but i did write most of it in 2022 so. maybe be not afraid bc it was waaay out of my comfort zone (hero/villain AU) and i did a lot of worldbuilding for it (that i wanna write more about later)

✨ if you track your writing in any way (words written, time spent writing, days you wrote something), share your stats!

will update this after new year's for my own reference but currently i'm at 124 hrs of writing time 💪 and 88k posted on ao3 apparently

✨ any challenges/events/etc you participated in this year (or your favorites if you don't want to list them all)

fandom rhythm volume 2 🌈

our first coffee talk fanweek, i didn't end up making anything for it but i did organize it

running the nu: carnival flash fic challenges has been fun even tho it's on a bit of a break rn

various exchanges/gift boxes on dreamwidth, those are lovely

multifandom match was crazy, i had so much fun and i'm so excited to do it again next time

i also reopened sweet & spicy bingo which has been a good time

there's probably more but those are the HIGHLIGHTS that come to mind

✨ the last fic you wrote/posted this year

it's gonna be my nukani secret santa fic i think! unless i get a burst of inspo after the 24th

✨ your writing goals(s) for next year

MAYBE finish i feel fine and make some progress on soft focus edits. otherwise the usual "write whatever i want"

✨ your favorite fandom/character/ship to read about

been Hella enjoying dsmp AU fics despite having watched like 15 mins of actual dsmp content and not knowing any of the lore, most of the stuff i've read is SBI-centric but i also love a good pumpkin duo moment

✨ your most searched tag(s)

probably just the general "medical" tag tbh

✨ the shortest fic you read this year

i like narsus's nukani drabbles, one of my faves is Momentum

✨ the longest fic you read this year

most definitely tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains at 188k, it had me at the Medical Themes and jumpstarted my love for hero/villain AUs

✨ a finished fic you enjoyed reading this year

pins and needles, would you believe that it's. a dsmp hospital AU. what's funny is i had no idea who quackity was when i first read this and now i'm a qsmp ho

✨ a wip you enjoyed reading this year

i have 2 in mind!

providence: another dsmp AU fic, but apocalyptic this time

til death do us in: it's so cool to see a fic inspired by my own and i've had a lovely time reading acelaw again

[sagemoderocklee]

...and that's another year of writing done!

Happy New Year's, everyone! Can't believe we've gone through yet another year of a pandemic (despite what government's around the world tell us about it being over).

This year was a strange one. The later half of the year feels like such a haze for me, days bleeding together, much like they did in 2020. Why? Because, after two years of being as safe as possible, I caught Covid. And not only did I catch Covid in early May, I was one of the lucky ones to get Long Haul Covid, and with that I have spent the last half of 2022 on a medical leave.

It's been a difficult year for me. There are very few things about 2022 that went according to plan--between catching Covid and simply not having the money, my plans to move to Ireland at the end of this summer didn't happen, and while the plan is to postpone my move, to when is still to be decided. I have also let my sewing and portfolio building fall to the wayside, largely--again--because of my health.

However, there are some things to be happy about and this post is my chance to look back and celebrate my writing victories.

sagemoderocklee's 2022 Fic Wrap

Absolution: Part IV (WiP)

While the goal had been to end the year with another update, tragically it was not in the cards. My health being what it is and my focus being on completing other projects, and Absolution being the huge piece it is, I felt it made more sense not to try pushing out Part V. However, I am very happy I was able to start the year with an Absolution update as this fic is very much one of my faves. The fourth part of this fic was a bit of a challenge to write, especially in the middle, but I finally hit on the beats I really needed. A big complication with Absolution was that the remaining 6 chapters, which I had fully planned and plotted, needed tweaking... which is to say Absolution needed to be longer. So I had to move all the plotting I had from Part IV on and rebuild and entirely rewrite each chapter/scene-by-scene breakdown. I'm pretty solid at the moment with Parts V through VIII in terms of plotting, and now I think I can safely say this fic will be a total of 13 chapters (the last one being an epilogue), but that could change since I still have to finish all the restructuring. I know all the key beats and the end goal, but sorting out the getting from one point to the next is really the big issue. However, all that being said, I do want to start the new year with Absolution, so that will be my top priority for January!

Pomegranate Sun: Ch1 (WiP) Co-authoring with @ghoste-catte

The first chapter of this fic I started writing a couple years ago, sometime after I got the prologue from @ghoste-catte. And then, of course, I stopped and didn't touch it again for... ages. But with the Naruto-Run last December and @ghoste-catte wanting to have a special fic for the big milestone of 100 GaaLee fics, it was time to work on this baby again. It is absolutely no surprise that when I get to worldbuild I'm in my comfort zone, so even though it took a while, once I got into working on this (while sick with covid, no less) I was happy. And this is going to be such a fresh piece of worldbuilding since we're bringing in OCs from the far west of Wind Country!

Plus One (COMPLETE)

So, I signed up for a bingo challenge and ended up writing a slightly spicy one-shot. Certainly not the spiciest thing in the world, but I very much enjoy writing flirty!Gaara. I have a LOT of feelings about the way fandom and even the canon blank period treats him surrounding sex/sexuality, and it's really informed a lot of how I view and approach Gaara as a gay male character. This wasn't like a huge piece (though I have an even sexier sequel planned), but it was so much fun.

It Eats Your Heart: Ch2 (WiP)

Chapter 2 of IEYH took me about a year to write. I was struggling. It gave me writer's block. It made me wanna throw my computer. My roommate helped me workshop it a bit. And it still took me forever to finish it. Then finally--FINALLY--I hit on what was missing. This chapter was a fucking bitch, but gotdamn was it worth it. I'm so happy with how this turned out and I'm so looking forward to finishing this fic in the new year.

Pearl-Filled Lungs: II, III, IV, Epilogue (COMPLETE)

My beloved enemy. This fic sat for three years, untouched and miserable. I'd started chapter two... last year? The year before? I don't remember, and it languished. I think it was just the first scene--maybe just part of the first scene. But god it was a struggle. I signed up for the WiP BB last year, but dropped. Signed up again this year and... committed. Largely because of the artist who, though unable to complete art for this fic, was such a huge inspiration. The WIPs they sent me... I wish I could share them because they were stunning. When they were unable to continue, I really thought I'd give up, but once again @ghoste-catte inspired me to continue, thanks to their generous offer to make banners for my fic--and the banners are truly such a work of art! And someone... I got through this fic. I think my original vision comes through, despite how much I bitched and moaned during the process. I wanted to write a fairy tale, and I did. And honestly, I am happy with P-FL. It's not my most popular fic, by any means, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.

My Home is Your Home: Ch1 (WiP)

And here we have a fic that was meant to be a one-shot. I was gonna try and get this done in under 10.5k for an event challenge, but then I talked with my roommate and... they looked at me like 'bitch who the fuck do you think you are' and you know what, they were right. I was foolin myself. This fic wasn't a one-shot. I'd come up with an idea for something much bigger than a one-shot, and I'm glad I listened to them. So instead of an event challenge, I reworked everything and turned this into a fic for the @puregaalee Horror Fest, and I am sooooo excited that I did. Paranormal Romance isn't a genre I've dabbled in, and I'm stoked to try weaving the horror genre with RomCom elements. This fic not only ended up being a much bigger piece than I'd intended, but it also has a planned sequel! Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't add more WiPs to my docket than I subtract.

Blood on the Branches: Ch1 (WiP)

Talk about a fic that was pulled out of my ass at THEE last minute. For Horror Fest, I was struggling to come up with an idea. I knew what prompts I was vibin with, but damn I couldn't think of a single thing. And then one night, laying in bed I came up with an idea.... An entirely different idea from this because with only days left to finish, I scrapped everything I had (and by scrapped, I mean moved to a different document) and came up with something completely new! And so instead of straight horror, I leaned into what I'm good at and now I have a horror/adventure story! While the original concept for this fic is good, I am way more excited about this! Once again, taking my worldbuilding to new heights as we leave Suna and head to the south of Wind! I don't know exactly when I'll be able to get the next chapter out, and I really need to sit down and plot this in full, but I am so excited to write this story!

The Corn Maze House (COMPLETE)

Well, it was a bit of a slog towards the mid-point, but I got through it. I honestly worried I wouldn't, but in the end I'm really glad I didn't give up or give in to feeling negatively about the writing process for this piece. I'm not fully happy with it, but I am happy it's done. The premise for this fic, in my entirely unbiased opinion, is very good, even if I'm still not sure of the execution. I may end up going back over this fic in the future, but regardless I'm happy to have a completed horror fic under my belt, and also to not be adding another WiP to my roster. Definitely very light on the GaaLee, despite being an established relationship, but that was kind of how it had to be, so I'm sure this won't be like a crazy popular fic, necessarily. But I still think this was good practice with the horror genre.

Return to Sender: Ch1-11 (COMPLETE)

Talk about a fic I never expected. RtS was meant to be a simple, cute lil RomCom. A dash of miscommunication, a whole lot of comedy of errors, and just a smidge of drama... The ask prompt that started this definitely did not make any indication that I needed to write a 90k+ drama about homophobia in the shinobi world or about the mistakes you make when you're terrified of losing someone important to you. But I simply am the person I am, and I am the writer I am. This was the direction that felt right, and honestly, I'm so glad because I am so happy with how this story turned out and the reception this fic has received is truly astronomical. I dove into it following completing chapter 1 of PomSun and in between working on P-FL because P-FL was the struggle it was. RtS gave me a much needed break and the first three and a half chapters were such a breath of fresh air. When I say those first three chapters were a breeze to write, I mean I think it took me less than a week to write them. This was (sort of) the first time in over a decade I've had a fully completed multi-chapter fic that I can post on a schedule, and GOD it felt so good to just post chapters weekly. RtS Sundays were the highlight of my week, and even though towards the end there were a lot of complications, it was truly such a joy and has made me want to work harder to get fics done before posting. Also! Not only did I have a ball writing this fic, but I also had a lot of fun making the images that I included in it and the soundtrack to go with it. While some of the images are... less exciting than others, this fic just felt like the perfect opportunity to do some mixed media stuff, and I do really enjoy making soundtracks for fics. I have to say, though I love so many of my fics, RtS will now have a very special place in my heart. The reception, surpassing 1million with it, and just the way it all fell into place... I am truly so filled with joy by how this fic went.

---

Total WiPs at the start of 2022: 16 Total completed works: 4 Total new works: 5 Total updates: 21 Total new words: 186,296 Total words (Ao3): 1,011,369 (-2,521 PomSun = 1,008,848) Total WiPs at the end of 2022: 17

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2022 Resolutions

The difference between this year's writing and last year's is kinda wild ngl. All that time on medical leave and not sewing really gave me a lot of time to write, (though I do wish I'd been healthy enough to sew more). Looking back at my writing resolutions from the start of the year to now, I can definitely say I'm proud of what I've accomplished, even if it seems like I didn't reach that many resolutions. The two biggest resolutions (1million words and finishing P-FL) were reached, and honestly hitting those two goals was the greatest accomplishment of the year.

So, while most of what I'd had planned for this year was updating fics from last year's Naruto-Run to 1K which didn't happen, I still think this year was a success!

Reach 1million words--168,358 words to go!✅So, the math I did at the end of last year for how many words I needed was actually wrong. I needed closer to 178k, but despite this minor math mishap, I not only reached 1 million words, I surpassed it! I have been trying to hit this overall word count for the past three or so years, and I am utterly shocked, amazed, and proud of myself for making it happen this year! Admittedly, I think this goal was reached because I ended up getting long covid and have spent June through the end of the year out of work and home. Still, this is by no means a small feat, especially given the number of words I needed to reach this year while also being disabled by covid. Long haul is no joke and the brain fog--ohhhh lemme tell you! that shit got me so fucked up, so managing to power through and find joy in writing in spite of that struggle was really important. Writing was one of the few real joys I had in my days these past months, and I could not be more thrilled to finally say I've surpassed 1 million words. Truly, I owe most of that to RtS, the most unexpected fic of 2022.

Write the sequel to Flyweight Love❌Not Reached. Part of me was sure I'd get this done at the end of the year, following Horror Fest, but RtS became priority #1 instead, so HB3 will be on the docket for next year!

Finish IEYH❌Not Reached. While I didn't reach this goal, I did manage to update this fic, finally. Chapter two was a difficult journey and actually caused a lot of writer's block for me between the end of last year-early this year, so while I didn't finish this fic I did still make progress and for that I am very happy. My hope is to accomplish this goal in the new year now!

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs✅REACHED! This is a pretty big one because it's been hanging over me for... long time. Three years, in fact. But I signed up for the WiP Big Bang and managed to actually get all four chapters written, edited, and published! It always feels like such a relief to be able to cross something completely off my list, but especially something that's been weighing on me the way P-FL was. In many ways, I wasn't happy with the journey, but I am happy with the end of it. I think P-FL is a lot better than I give it credit for, so I am really proud of it and proud that I got this finished.

Finish The Passing of Things❌Not Reached. I was actually really hoping to get this done, so I'm going to make this a goal for next year!

Update Absolution (Ch 4-6)✅❌❌Partially fulfilled. While I did not get three updates in for Absolution, I still got one so that's a partial win for me!

Update TAoL (Ch12)❌Not Reached. Sadly, this update was not in the cards for me this year, which is truly a tragedy for me because it's been two years since the last time I updated. But unfortunately, this next chapter has a lot of issues that need fixing, so getting through has not been easy. However, it is a top priority in the new year!

Update TBotDatP aka the Ballad❌Not Reached. Another fic I was hoping to update, but alas, not this year. But the first chapter is very much underway, so with any luck, I'll be getting a Ballad update out in short order!

Update WNNBYT aka the Hanahaki fic❌Not Reached. While this is a fic I'm excited to work on, it has lost priority in favor of other fics. Maybe next year, but I don't want to make it a resolution since I have fics I'd rather focus on over this.

Update Pomegranate Sun (Ch1)✅ Reached! Amazingly, I was able to get chapter one of this fic out, though it did take a while. However, I'm very proud of how that first chapter turned out and excited to continue this fic with @ghoste-catte in the new year!

Update 13S❌Not Reached. I did get a good chunk of the next update for this worked on, but tragically the amount of worldbuilding needed for this chapter put a wrench in my plans to move forward. However, the worldbuilding has been done in large part, so I am looking forward to getting this fic updated next year!

Edit Alliance❌Not reached. In general, Allied Nations has not been on my mind or at the top of my list. I think, more than likely it won't be until I get TAoL finished, as that's a similarly huge project, even as a stand alone story.

Update Honor Bound❌Not reached. Similar to the above. And while I do have the first three chapters written, I don't want to dive into posting any more chapters of this fic until I've edited Alliance and made the changes to it I know are needed.

Resolutions Reached✅: 3.5 Resolutions Not Reached❌: 9.5

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2023 Resolutions

With 2022 at an end and a lot more writing done than I expected, I'm hoping to carry that energy into 2023, regardless of other things. I do hope to move to Ireland and get back into sewing regularly, but as my health has changed much of my life, I'm also anticipating more time at home as I shift into working from home. So with that, I hope I also find more time and energy to focus on writing.

This is a lot, and I do not expect to get all of this done, but the goal is to get as much of it done as I can. I have a lot of motivation, so here's to a successful writing year in 2023!

Complete IEYH

Complete Absolution

Complete MHiYH

Complete TPoT

Update 13S (3-6)

Update TAoL (12-15)

Update PomSun (Ch3)

Update TBotDatP aka The Ballad (Ch-4)

Update TEA (Ch1)

Update TCoS (Ch1)

Update BotB (Ch2)

Publish the sequel to Flyweight Love, HB3

Publish The Beautiful Beast of Cāngdì (Ch1)

Publish A Cat's Guide to Finding Love

Complete at least three more MFBingo squares

[half-bakedboy]

I posted 155 times in 2022

58 posts created (37%)

97 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swiftiebuckleys

@malecdiscordserver

@extasiswings

@mistmarauder

@buddiefanfictionarchive

I tagged 153 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#0 - 43 posts

#shadowhunters - 29 posts

#my writing - 26 posts

#buddie - 26 posts

#911 on fox - 20 posts

#my art - 19 posts

#boost - 18 posts

#stranger things - 18 posts

#eddie diaz - 17 posts

#femslash - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#and i love this fic even after reading it out loud and listening to it for editing for like 4 hours a;ksdjfl;kasdj

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz | Rated M | Chapters 10/10 | COMPLETE

High school sweethearts, Buck and Eddie, couldn’t imagine a life apart after graduation. Together, they followed Eddie’s dream of enlisting in the military because Buck would go anywhere with him. During a mission gone wrong, Buck goes missing—presumed dead. Eddie is discharged and struggles to figure out life without the love of his own.

Ten years later, Eddie—as unhappy as ever—is getting divorced from his wife and trying to deal with being the sudden primary caregiver of his disabled son all while balancing his career and the found family around him.

Then Buck shows up on his doorstep.

READ THE FINAL CHAPTER ON AO3

START FROM THE BEGINNING

(Banner by the incredible, @floralbuckleys ♥️ )

31 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

#4

blue lips and rosy cheeks

read on ao3 Pairing: Nancy Gillian/Marjan Marwani Rated: Teen Bingo Square: Blizzard Contains spoilers for 3x02 and spec for 3x03

"Wait, you're leaving? Going out there with just a car and some medical supplies? Then what, Nancy?” Carlos shouted before lowering his voice to a more hospital-appropriate tone. “You don't even know if anything has happened to her,” he reasoned.

"You saw what happened to TK, Carlos. To Paul, to– to however many more people that got caught out there," Nancy paused only to stare into his eyes as she spoke, "I'm not going to let the same thing happen to Marjan."

See the full post

34 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#3

46."Come on, take my hand." + Jimon please?

"Come on, take my hand," Simon called.

Everything in Jace was screaming at him not to trust the newly turned vampire. He had never trusted a downworlder before—barely even trusted his own kind, really—but he didn’t have a choice. He was dangling off of the roof of the DuMort and even his Shadowhunter ability wasn’t enough to keep him from meeting his doom if he let go.

“I’ve got you, Jace, you have to trust me,” Simon pleaded again.

The sun was about to rise. Jace could see the burning ball of light lifting over the horizon. Simon was in danger and that knowledge was enough for him to take the chance—to trust when his mind and body told him to fear the word.

With the little strength he had left, he thrust his free hand up just enough for Simon to grasp onto his wrist. The grip hurt—deathly cold and cement-like fingers digging into his skin through his leather jacket, but it grounded Jace more than he thought possible. Simon grunted and pulled until Jace was back on top of the safety of the roof, holding onto Simon like his life depended on it.

Once he gained his footing, he glanced at Simon’s face, wanting to apologize or to thank him, but Simon’s eyes were staring over Jace’s shoulder at the brightening horizon behind them.

Jace didn’t give himself time to think. He wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist and pushed them both against the door to the small shed structure behind them, breaking it open to shelter them from the light. They were pressed against the back wall, Jace’s chest flush against Simon’s, both heavily panting even though Jace knew Simon didn’t have to breathe anymore. When he glanced around, he realized the structure was just that—a room on top of the roof with tools and supplies and no escape.

There wasn’t anywhere for Simon to go but at least he was protected, just as he had protected Jace.

“You saved my life,” Simon said after a few moments of relieved silence.

“Yeah, well, you saved mine first,” Jace answered, letting himself relax against Simon’s form.

After a few moments of silence, Simon noted, “So… I guess we’re stuck here in our heroics, then?” Jace huffed out a laugh.

“The sun won’t kill me,” Jace countered but when Simon’s face fell, he decided, “but I guess I can stay a little while.”

43 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#2

In Between Lost and Found by Emryn Jace

This isn’t my usual kind of fandom post, but I wrote a book! I fulfilled a dream of mine to publish a queer novel and it’s out on Amazon as an e-book or paperback right now!

If you give it a try, let me know! I would love to hear what you think about it. ♥️

52 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I had... a thought. I can't stop thinking about it actually.

Remember the Buddie conversation on the balcony?

"When you think of your sister, you see this person you've always looked up to. The woman who's taken care of you. But maybe that's not who she is right now. This time, maybe she's the one who needs taking care of."

Now that we've learned that Eddie was the parentified child to his siblings, it feels like Eddie was asking someone (particularly Buck) to realize that Eddie needs someone to take care of him for a change. And that's exactly what Buck has done since.

58 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[aimmyarrowshigh]

For the fanfic asks for the New Year, 1, 9, 11, 18, and 20.

1. Do you have a word-count goal for the upcoming year?

In an IDEAL world, 372,000, but I know I won't be anywhere close to that. I think a realistic goal is more like 250,000, which gives me plenty of days off or days not hitting 1k -- my goal is generally 1k/day between all of my various projects (drabbles + whatever WIP of the moment) but sometimes I only drabble. Sometimes I just don't feel like writing. I'm trying to maintain my 2022 energy of not beating myself up too much about that.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

This week, I want to do daily drabbles, finish my Bucky Barnes Bingo Round 4 card, and add at least 2k to each my Shrinkyclinks WIP and my Steve/Joyce. I'd love to finish and post Steve/Joyce this month, but I'm not sure how long it's going to end up being... I've mapped out enough writing days on it this month to account for it ballooning to 20k, but god I hope it's shorter than 20k. I also want to write the first of my Patreon thank-you 5k stories this month, ideally.

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

Hmm... I really don't tend to intentionally write many tropes per se, except for A/B/O, and sometimes I write cabinfic. I think I might want to try to write a mystery/casefic for either Leverage or Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries if I can think of an idea for one that wouldn't make more sense to just write as an original story? Otherwise, I feel like at this point I know my niche: quiet character studies with a weird amount of food in them.

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

HA, HAHAHA, HA... HA. Um. Well. I tend to post multi-chapters as I write and then I never post the last chapter(s)? So I should. Change that. I'm determined to finish all of my Shrinkyclinks WIP before I start to post so that I DON'T just leave it hanging without a final chapter (again) like I do (most) other things. I have no fucking idea how I wrote 10k chapters ever-other day and posted MYEYNL as I was writing it? Like I truly have no idea how I did that? Yeah, I'd written a good 150k of the story before I started to post, but that's STILL a hundred fucking thousand words that I wrote as I posted. HOW? WHY CAN'T I DO IT ANYMORE? I feel like the answer is "I wasn't yet medicated" and while that was good for wordcount, it was Bad for Everything Else.

20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?

If I don't say yes, then a combination of my own guilt, @reachmouse, and @dracosollicitus will probably eat me. Also my dad will yell at me more, because he's never not yelling at me about wasting my time doing anything other than working on original writing.

I don't know. I feel like it's stupid for me to have, like, goals or hopes or dreams, so I... don't? Anymore? I used to want to be a published author so badly that I cried about it every day and made myself sick over it and beat myself up so much if I didn't write daily, and now I'm just like... if it were meant to happen, it would have happened already because I'm Old As Hell and my writing Isn't Popular, so ::shrug::

I mean, I'll work on my shit, but I'm not actually like... expecting it to matter. I don't know. That sounds dire. I don't mean it direly. I just mean it like this:

[fighterkimburgess]

I posted 6,604 times in 2022

3,933 posts created (60%)

2,671 posts reblogged (40%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gregorygerwitz

@headlightsatmidnight

@crockettmarcel

@morganupstead

I tagged 4,728 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#cíara answers - 1,552 posts

#chicago pd spoilers - 762 posts

#chicago fire spoilers - 627 posts

#i believe in queue - 442 posts

#timezone reblog - 107 posts

#burzek - 92 posts

#cíara watches law and order - 59 posts

#kim burgess - 58 posts

#adam ruzek - 54 posts

#cíara’s boy - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#he’s everything i want in a guy and we’ve known each other for two years so he passes my secretly a dick worries

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Officer Down

Summary: After an explosion rips through a box truck in a parking lot, Hailey Upton doesn’t wake up immediately.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: injuries, medical tests, talk of needles and blood.

Wanna join my taglist?

AN: If anyone had “Cíara writes an upstead fic” in their hiatus bingo, let me know. You should probably buy a lotto ticket.

—

The ringing in his ears began to fade as Jay sat up, the world covered in grey smoke. Turning his head too quickly was almost painful, but his mind was focused on one thing. Where was his wife?

“HAILEY!” He screamed, vision finally coming back fully as he looked around. The truck was blown to pieces, twisted scorched metal dotted around the lot. He thought there was a car alarm going off, but he wasn’t sure. “HAILEY!”

There was no response, and Jay made himself stand and survey the scene. She’d been just behind him. But now she was twenty yards away and he was running, losing his balance as he tried sprinting to her with a spinning head and aching heart.

“Hailey, Hailey. Hailey, wake up. Wake up!” She was too still, but her pulse was steady under her too pale skin. He grabbed out his multiway, the Intelligence only radio ignored as he fiddled with the channel.

“50-21 George there’s been an explosion at the parking lot at West Addison and California. 10-1, officer down. Roll an RA to our location right now, she’s unconscious.” His fingers never left Hailey’s neck, her pulse easing his worries. “Hailey, are you with me? Wake up, Hail, c’mon. Wake up.” 

He was too afraid to shake her with the blow she’d taken, worried about how her back could have been injured. Instead with one hand he picked up his secure radio, Voight screaming into it.

“Sarge! Hailey’s been hurt. There was an explosion, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Is she awake? Jay, is she awake?” He could barely hear his sergeant’s question over the fear in his head but he shook it.

“She’s unconscious. Ambo is on the way, we’re closer to Rush but I’ll get them to bring us to Med. She’s not waking up.”

“It’s Upton, she’s going to be fine. Stay with your wife. We’ll stay on Escano, Hailey needs you.”

“I’ll keep you updated.”

The roar of the ambulance finally arrived, along with CFD’s finest. And in this case he was so lucky it was people he knew from 51 arriving, hoses in hand to knock back the fire from the explosion. Mikami and a stranger came running over with the backboard, shock on Mikami’s face.

“Halstead, what happened?”

“There was an explosion, a case we were working our CI got burned. Hailey got the brunt. Violet…” It was the first time he’d used the paramedic’s first name, and he saw immediately how it affected her.

“You’re coming with us, you’re injured too. I’m assuming you want Med?”

“Please?” Jay never begged, never asked questions, but when it was to get Hailey the best care he’d do anything.

“But Rush is closest to—“ The paramedic he didn’t know began to speak, but Violet interrupted her.

“Detective Halstead’s brother is an attending at Med, and this is said detective’s wife. If we don’t bring her to Med she’ll get transferred across. It’s better continuity of care.” She paused, finishing her survey and putting a c-collar on his still unconscious wife. “Go get the backboard on the other side. STELLA! We need you for a roll.”

Jay watched as one of his wife’s friends came over, dawning horror on her face as she realised it was Hailey lying there.

“Halstead…what…what can I do?”

“Just help her. Please.”

He watched them roll her on and strap her in, the rest of Stella’s truck crew running as gently as possible with Hailey to get her into the ambulance. Jay followed, pats on his back and squeezes to his arm as he got in from the people he knew.

“Let me know what happens,” Stella said, the last one to give him a squeeze as he got in.

See the full post

85 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#4

Slow Dancing

Summary: At a CFD awards gala, Violet makes a decision to go for what makes her happy.

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: alcohol

Wanna join my taglist?

—

Violet stared at herself in the mirror, eyeliner perfect and her hair in an updo. Sylvie had convinced her to go to a salon for the two of them to get their hair done together before getting ready for the gala. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she was getting her formal award so she had to turn up. Once the back was on her earring she stood, slipping into her heels. The dark green satin dress hung perfectly, her makeup neat. She’d be fine.

Apart from wishing that her paramedic chief would spend more time with her. But that was never going to happen, he was right. They needed space.

“Are you ready?” Sylvie called, knocking Violet back to orbit. She came out of the spare room, Sylvie on FaceTime to Matt and the boys.

“Here’s my partner who’s getting an award tonight! You look amazing.” Sylvie grinned and handed over a wine glass to Violet, the younger woman looking at the phone screen.

“Hey Casey, Ben, Griffin. Having a good night?”

“It’s only four here, but it’s good. Heading for dinner in a while. Congratulations on the award, you deserve it!”

It was a quick goodbye to them as they were ready to leave, Violet knocking back the last of her wine as the cab driver called to say they were downstairs.

The entire drive she could feel her nerves rise, Sylvie able to tell and holding her hand. It would be fine. It had to be. They walked in together, each receiving drinks tokens and looking around.

“You ok?” Sylvie asked, Violet nodding.

“Fine. I just hate being the centre of attention. But it’ll be fine.”

“You deserve this. Don’t panic.” Boden came up behind her, a hand on her shoulder that nearly made her jump. “Chief Hawkins has been singing your praises about that rescue. He wants you to know you deserve it. We all know you’re a fantastic medic, Violet.”

“Thanks. It means a lot.” The conversations went from there, and as the dinner was served she sat at the table with her shift. Everyone turned up to celebrate her, congratulating her on the award. But once the dry beef and over salted potatoes had been eaten it was time for the awards. Violet was one of three paramedics being awarded, the only one for a resuscitation. She watched Hawkins walk onto the stage, her heart doing a flip flop as she watched him in his well fitting suit and bow tie.

“As Paramedic Field Chief I’ve been honoured to do ride alongs with different paramedics under my tenure. And on my own ride along with Paramedic Violet Mikami I saw just how talented she was. We were called to the birth of a child who wasn’t breathing, and I watched her intubate and revive him after meconium ingestion. He made a full recovery, and in six weeks has gained several pounds and according to his mother is growing like a weed. They named him Joseph Mikami, as a way to honour the paramedic who saved his life. It’s not as impressive as naming an infant after her, but I’m proud that CFD is honouring her with the Clinical Resuscitation Award. Paramedic Violet Mikami, of Firehouse 51!”

The crowd cheered, everyone at the 51 tables standing to clap. She could hear Capp whistling as she walked up, smiling and taking the hand Hawkins offered for a shake. There were several others on the Paramedic Chief level there who she shook with before Hawkins pinned the award to her dress. Flashes popped for photos, Evan’s hand at the small of her back and all Violet could focus on was him beside her, the warmth of his hand through the thin fabric. There was a spark as he touched her and she tried to ignore it, but it was so difficult to do.

Finally she could get off the stage, sitting back down to watch everyone else get their awards. Once the medals were given out it was time for mingling and dancing, and all Violet wanted was to go home. But instead she went to the bathroom for a deep breath and a break.

She knew the step back between them was a good idea, that dating your boss was a bad idea. Or if it was even an ok idea there could be problems. It didn’t stop the heart wanting what it wanted. And what her heart was so desperate for was Evan Hawkins. She’d never felt this way about anyone before, she’d never wanted to even just hold someone’s hand that much.

There was a knock on the cubicle door, and she tilted her head back to blink back the emotions.

“One minute.”

“Take your time, I’m here.” It was Sylvie, and Violet tried to smile at her, but it was a fake smile. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hawkins. A blind man could see how the two of you are, and how jealous Gallo is of the two of you. What’s going on?”

Violet shrugged, taking a moment before responding. “I asked if he has feelings. He said we need to take a step back. So I’m taking a step back.”

She studied Sylvie’s face, realising that she’d seen her PIC with a similar look on her face before. Except then it was because Violet had talked to her about Casey.

“I don’t know Hawkins too well, but he’s a Good man. And yeah you can make excuses about his job, your job, all of it. But you both deserve to be happy. And I think that he could make you happy, Partner. I really do.”

See the full post

104 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#3

Coffee At Midnight

Summary: While Sylvie is on furlough, Violet has to deal with floaters. But the final floater makes her think of painkillers, bubbly water, and Goodness.

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: none

—

Walking onto the app floor Violet took a glance at 61, the Leslie Elizabeth Shay memorial shining in the dull January light. It was her final shift with a floater, and she couldn't wait for Sylvie to get back. Her friend was enjoying her time off, and Violet had gotten multiple photos of Sylvie, Casey, and the boys at various Portland landmarks. But dealing with different floaters thanks to the paramedic shortage was killing her slowly.

She made it into the changing room, putting her bag in her locker and pulling back her hair. Once that was done she went to the briefing room, but before she could Boden called her into his office, someone else already there in a paramedic uniform.

"Mikami! As you know there's a serious paramedic shortage right now. Chief Hawkins has agreed to do the shift with you so he can keep 61 on the road. Will that work?"

No. No, no, no, no, no. This was the exact opposite of what Violet wanted to happen. She wanted to forget Evan Hawkins ever existed, the way he'd looked at her after he'd announced Sylvie was funded. But it was hard to do when she looked at his brown eyes and he smiled at her.

"Yeah, sounds good. I can show you around 61 so you can see where everything is?"

"Sounds good. Is there a spare locker I can use?" Violet nodded, and they left to go to the locker room, pointing out the floater locker at the end. He nodded and went to speak, but before he could the bells went off.

It was a busy shift, and she didn't get a chance to talk to him about much as they worked. In and out, restocking and getting everything done. But when they sat in the cab, Hawkins - Evan, as he insisted she called him while they worked - asking how her holidays had been. She shared about it being the first one since her dad had died in the pandemic, that it had been weird but they got through it. He offered condolences, making Violet smile weakly. They stopped to pick up coffees, and he ordered a bubbly water in the drive thru, passing it across. He refused to let her pay for their drinks, waving it off with a smile.

She hadn't felt this way for almost a year, since she and Gallo had first had their thing. But that was long gone, and no matter what Sylvie and Ritter said she didn't have feelings for him anymore. He was a friend, but he annoyed her like a brother and she didn't want to date him again. But with Evan it was different.

She'd joked with Sylvie that a man who gave you bubbly water and painkillers was a man to keep, but finding out everything that he'd done for her while she was in hospital had meant a lot. He'd done it without thinking, leaving the cup for her there. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her.

The shift passed both slowly and quickly, and when they got back at eleven he went to sleep in Sylvie's bed. Violet stayed sitting in the common room, watching the room empty as people drifted to the bunks. But she stayed in her seat, a cooling mug of coffee in her hand.

She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. If it was six weeks ago her jealousy over Cara had burned through her stomach, three months ago she’d comforted Sylvie when Casey left for Oregon. But the idea that her feelings could be so muddled and confusing had never entered her mind.

“Penny for them.” Mouch slid over a fresh mug, taking in Violet’s expression. The older man sat next to her, his own mug in his hand.

“I’m fine. Missing Brett.”

“We all do. But you’re different than usual. Spit it out. Something about Gallo?”

Violet laughed, covering her mouth to muffle the sound as Mouch stared at her. That this was her immediate reaction confirmed that she was totally over him. But made her worry more about it.

“Or how working with Hawkins is? Is he a good paramedic?”

“He’s great…can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

Violet took a deep breath, taking a sip before admitting it.

“How bad does it look if you date someone above you in the chain of command?”

It was silent, the only noise from the tv in the background as she watched Mouch process her words. His jaw opened slightly, and Violet waited to hear what he’d say, only slightly terrified of it.

“I’ve seen it happen, successfully. And I’ve seen the same relationship also crumble with it. Casey’s first wife was his candidate and they ended things. Then they got back together. And people looked at them oddly but they made it work. Her being on his truck didn’t end their relationship. Your partner for the day?”

“Maybe.”

“He’s a good guy. His family are good people, I knew his dad for years. If there’s something between you, I think you should go for it.” He stretched, standing up. “I’m going to bed. Enjoy.”

Violet cleaned the mugs, putting them in the dishwasher and heading to the bunk room. She passed Evan’s bed, his arm over his face as he dozed. Getting into bed she put the pillow over face, wanting to yell into it. But as she closed her eyes the bells went off.

See the full post

108 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

So, abortion is constitutionally illegal…

Hey, I’m Cíara, and I grew up with a constitutional ban on abortion that wasn’t overturned till 2018. So I know a thing or two about dealing with this. Here’s some tips.

Mutual aid funds. Donate, donate, donate. If you’ve got some spare cash, donate. They help low income pregnant people access abortions and are the easiest way to help provide access quickly.

Women Help is a provider of abortion pills for places where abortion is illegal. It comes in the post and should help.

If you do have a pill abortion and need to seek medical attention - you’re miscarrying. You’re miscarrying a wanted baby. Do all of your searches on incognito mode, delete any abortion related browser history before getting medical help. Will your doctors and nurses mostly want to help you? Yes, but you shouldn’t risk it anyway.

Make a note of states that still have abortion. Illinois passed a bill in 2019 saying that even if Roe or Casey fell abortion would still be legal there. It’s safe there.

Make a list of close to the border abortion clinics. This will be harder for the Great Lakes area (but you have Illinois so that helps). Off the top of my head cities to check out are Vancouver, Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, Windsor, the GTA, Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City and Saint John in Canada. In Mexico abortion is only legal on a state by state basis so be aware.

Organise, organise, organise. Don’t leave people behind in your organising. Trans men and people outside the gender binary can get pregnant. It’s not their fault, don’t throw them under the fucking bus.

Your first question to every politician, at every town hall, canvassing event, and more, is “will you decriminalise abortion and recognise it as necessary healthcare?” And you stick to that message. Make politicians dread seeing you because they know. Call their congressional office, write weekly letters. Flood them with “I am your constituent and this is what I want”.

And do that on the state level too! Constant communication.

I am so sorry to everyone who is about to go through this. Find your group. Organise. Protest. You can do this.

291 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Broken

Summary: After your boyfriend and friend break your heart, you’re left to try pick up the pieces of what happened. You don’t expect to fall for the fourth person in this twisted love affair, but Adam makes you feel less broken.

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: infertility, talk of difficulty conceiving, pregnancy, infidelity, alcohol, angst with a happy ending

--

Pulling into your parking spot you threw your head back in the seat, staring at the car roof. Your doctors words kept going around and around in your head.

“There’s no physical reason you’re not pregnant yet.”

It had been eighteen months of trying, casually at the start but more seriously when it hadn’t happened. When the worry was too much that something was wrong. But you’d both been tested, Jay got back that his sperm were good quality. You physically shouldn’t have had a problem. But you still weren’t pregnant and it hurt so damn much.

Thumbing your engagement ring you got out and went to the elevator, wondering how you were supposed to tell Jay that they needed to run more tests, that your body just didn’t want to have a child.

As you got to your front door your fiancés work partner was standing there, Kim looking sick to her stomach as she waited. When she saw you her face paled, and you went straight to her.

“Kim, hey! Is Jay inside?”

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you first. I need to tell you something.”

“Can it wait? I’ve had the day from hell.” She shook her head and you were immediately worried, watching her.

“It can’t. Look, I don’t know how to say this so I’m just ripping the bandaid off. Six weeks ago, Jay and I got drunk and slept together. I found out last week I’m pregnant with his baby.”

The words made you stumble, holding onto the wall for support. He’d cheated on you. He’d cheated on you and one night with someone else meant that he was about to become a father and it wasn’t your child. It wasn’t your baby. Because you were broken and this proved it if one time meant he could get someone else pregnant. Kim went to grab your arm but you shook her off.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me. You’re one of my best friends. You were going to be a bridesmaid. How could you?” Your voice cracked on the final word, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to. We were drunk, it was a bad case. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to see you outside of work again.” You turned and unlocked the door, closing it firmly behind you to leave Kim outside. But instead of a moment of peace, Jay stood and opened his arms for you.

“Hey, how are you? Where were you I missed you?” He came over for a hug but you sidestepped him, staring at the man you loved so much it hurt.

“What part of me wasn’t enough? Why did you cheat? Is it because I can’t give you a baby? And now you get to have one with her?”

“Baby, please I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”

“It doesn’t just happen! She was going to be my bridesmaid. Every time I got my period and sobbed she comforted me. And one night? One night and you get her pregnant? How could you?” You watched as the full force of your words hit him and you asked the question you weren’t sure you wanted an answer to. “Do you love me anymore?”

“Of course I loved you!” His face dropped as he realised it was in past tense, and your tears flowed harder.

“Loved. Not love. I should have known you couldn’t love someone who can’t do the thing she’s supposed to do. I’m gonna pack a bag. Tell me when you’re in work so I can get the rest of my things.”

You went straight to your room, staring at your bed. At the artwork the two of you had picked, at the bed you’d made that morning. The bed you thought you’d sleep in for the rest of your life. But you pulled out a bag and threw clothes in, just wanting to make sure that you had enough to keep you going. When it was done you grabbed your tablet, your chargers, your toothbrush and shampoo.

Jay was standing there as you walked out, staring at you with watery eyes.

“Baby, please. It was a mistake. We can get through it.”

“No, we can’t. I was going to have your child. I spent today getting told I need even more tests because there’s no reason I shouldn’t be pregnant. And then with one night you get Kim pregnant? You told me she and Adam split up but not why. That’s why, isn’t it?” He nodded and it broke your heart fully in two. “I can’t do this. Because every time you had custody of that child, I’d be angry. And that innocent baby doesn’t deserve the sins of the parents inflicted on it.”

You held out your left hand, staring at the engagement ring there. The one Jay had proposed to you with a grin and a plea for you to marry him. Pulling it off felt so, so wrong. But you did, your finger bare for the first time in nearly two years as you set it down on the coffee table.

“We’re over. I’ll ask someone in Intelligence to tell me when you’re at work so I can pack my things. If you could box them up I’d appreciate it, but you don’t have to.”

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349 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

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[imagineteamfreewill]

Hostage

Title: Hostage

Pairing: Bank Teller!Dean x Robber!Reader

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Bank robbery, guns, threatening

Square Filled: Bank Teller Dean

Summary: Dean’s day was going fine until she walked in.

A/N: This is a submission for the 2021-2022 SPN AU Bingo (@spnaubingo)! As always, thank you for reading and supporting me. I hope you enjoy! Dividers are by @firefly-graphics

Dean’s job was a relatively safe one. He got a steady paycheck, had solid insurance, and his coworkers weren’t too bad, either. He’d been on track to get a degree in automotive mechanics when Sam got sick, so he’d dropped out of school and moved back to Kansas to help take care of his little brother. With their parents gone, he and Bobby were the only family that Sam had, and Bobby wasn’t able to work full-time and take care of Sam. Dean had found a job at a bank in town to help pay for medical bills. It allowed Bobby to stay at home and take care of Sam most days, and when Bobby wasn’t there, Dean was. The branch manager had known John and Mary when they were children. She wanted to watch out for the Winchester boys in any way she could, which meant that she looked the other way more than once when Dean had called in “sick” because he was driving Sam to treatment or to another appointment. Dean was lucky to have found the job that he did.

After Sam got better, Dean never went back to school. He stayed at the bank, partially out of concern that Sam might get sick again, partially because he felt a sense of duty towards the manager who’d been kinder than they’d deserved, and partially because it was a solid job. He didn’t have to worry about building a business from the ground up or finding customers like he would have if he’d tried to start his own mechanics shop, which had been his plan throughout his teenage years and his early twenties. He met a girl, too, and that alone would’ve been a good enough reason for him to stay at the bank.

So, five days a week, Dean put on his uniform and drove the Impala to the bank on Oak Street, where he sometimes opened the branch and sometimes closed. He worked eight hours a day, then went home to the apartment he and Y/N shared on 9th Avenue. Sam lived down the block. Sometimes they had dinner together, but most nights it was just him and Y/N at the table. His life usually stuck to this routine, which he appreciated. After all, everyone kept telling him that the older he got, the more he’d like the predictability of it all.

“Have a nice day, Mr. Booth,” Dean said, smiling politely at the old man on the other side of the plexiglass. The withered man had been a customer since before Dean had started. He came in once a week to take out the same amount of cash, and he insisted on tipping Dean every time. Legally, Dean couldn’t take tips, but around the holidays the branch manager would allow him to take the cash Mr. Booth offered to buy donuts and coffee for the rest of the tellers. Mr. Booth was a kind man and Dean looked forward to the weekly visits with him. He remembered Sam and Bobby, and he always asked after Y/N.

“You too, Dean,” Mr. Booth said. “You be good to that girl of yours, now.” He tucked the cash into his wallet and then slipped it into the pocket of his jeans, then hobbled back towards the door.

A steady stream of people had been coming in and out of the bank all day, but the line had finally dwindled down to just one customer. Dean finished tucking away the leftover papers from Mr. Booth’s transaction so he was ready for the next customer, but another teller called the woman over to his window before Dean could speak up.

Sighing, Dean grabbed his coffee and took a sip. It was lukewarm, which wasn’t surprising given the fact that it had sat mostly untouched all morning, but he drank it anyway. He’d opened the bank this morning and there was still another hour before his lunch, then another three before he could go home to Y/N. He’d promised to make tacos for dinner, though he was seriously debating on just ordering takeout if it meant having an extra half hour off his feet.

Movement in the lobby caught his eye and Dean called out on instinct, “I can help the next customer if you’re ready!”

He looked up, a polite smile fixed on his face as he put his cup back out of the way. The person on the other side of the glass had a mask over their mouth and nose, which wasn’t uncommon, but the dark beanie over the top of their head and the strange look in their eyes made Dean uneasy.

“What can I help you with today?” he asked. He kept one hand on the computer mouse, but he slipped the other underneath the counter where his panic button was. It would call Jody and Donna down at the station if needed, as well as alert the other tellers to the situation.

“I need to withdraw some cash,” the customer said, their voice muffled by the mask over their face.

Dean nodded. “Do you have a withdrawal slip? I can help you fill one out if you need it.”

Reaching with his right hand for the blank slips in the holder on the counter, Dean glanced away from the customer’s face just for a moment. Something dark blocked his view of the person on the other side of the window and he froze. When he looked back, a sleek black handgun was pointed at him, the barrel pressed firmly against the plexiglass. The barrier wasn’t bulletproof and his chest constricted as he stared down the gun.

“I need all the cash in your drawer,” the customer ordered. “You can put it in here.”

They held a bag over the wooden divider beside the window and Dean reached for it. He let his fingers trip over the panic button underneath the counter on the way. Silently, he began to load the cash from his teller drawer into the canvas duffel while the person on the other side watched.

The bank lobby had grown silent other than the shuffling of the cash and panicked whispers from the other employees. All the other customers had cleared out, though Dean wasn’t sure if it was because they’d seen what was happening or if they’d just conveniently finished their transactions in the knick of time.

“Everything goes in there. Don’t try to leave any of it behind.”

Dean glanced up at the person and nodded silently, then carefully transferred the last bundle of bills into the bag. He zipped it up and tried not to glance towards the doors to the outside as he handed it back over the divider.

“Come around to this side,” they ordered.

Slowly, Dean stepped out of his booth and started walking towards the locked gate on the far side of the line of the teller windows. The other tellers stood in their places, frozen with fear as Dean passed behind them. None of them so much as uttered a word. The bank had never been robbed, not since long before the branch manager had gotten her position, and though they all received training for situations like these, real life was always different than a simulation.

The robber followed Dean down the line, keeping the gun pointed at him as he walked. They didn’t seem hurried or stressed about what they were doing, which meant they were either experienced or stupid. Judging by the familiar way they held the gun, Dean went with experienced.

“Don’t do anything stupid. Come stand in front of me.”

He obeyed and swallowed hard when the robber pressed the barrel of the gun to his temple. The metal was cool and he closed his eyes for a second while he attempted to steady his breathing. His heart pounded in his chest, making his head swim, and his skin itched with anxiety.

“You and I are going to go out to my car now. Understand? None of your co-workers are going to follow us, and when the cops arrive, they’re going to say that you went home sick. Do you all understand?”

They raised their voice so that everyone could hear their demands and Dean felt the robber shift slightly behind him as they looked around. All around the lobby, the tellers, bankers, and his manager agreed with quiet, unsure voices.

The next words were nothing more than a whisper in Dean’s ear. “Tell them you’re going to be okay. I don’t need people freaking out and ruining this for me.”

His mouth felt like it was filled with sand but Dean licked his lips and spoke up anyway, his voice cracking embarrassingly as he said, “I’ll be fine, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

He wasn’t sure if he would or not, but some concrete reassurance seemed better than none at all.

Seemingly satisfied, the robber shoved Dean forward. He walked out of the bank with them close behind. At no point did the gun leave his head, and it stayed pointed at him even as he climbed into the passenger seat of a sleek black car. They continued to aim it at his forehead while closing the door and going around the front of the vehicle to get to their own side.

“Buckle up,” they ordered, and Dean obeyed without a word. He kept his hands in his lap as the person threw the bag of cash into the backseat and shoved the key into the ignition. The car roared to life beneath them and soon they were pulling out onto Main Street. Sirens sounded behind them, but they turned down Oak Street like they hadn’t even seen the robber’s getaway car with Dean in the passenger seat. His stomach rolled as the robber slammed their foot against the gas pedal. They were merging onto the highway out of town.

“What are you going to do to me?” he asked when his stomach had settled again and they were gliding smoothly through the traffic towards Kansas City.

In the driver’s seat, Y/N pulled off her mask and hat, chucking them in the backseat with the bag of cash. She heaved a sigh as Dean took the gun from her outstretched hand and tucked it into the glove box. His adrenaline was still a little high as he handled it, but at no point had she clicked off the safety, so he knew that his body would regulate itself soon.

“Probably take you home and ravish you,” she replied. She shot him a smile and he chuckled.

“You watch too much TV.”

She laughed this time and adjusted her grip on the wheel, looking forward again. “Sam and Jess left for the airport as I was parking the car, and we’re crashing at their new place for the week. You wanna text him and make sure he’s got everything they need?”

Nodding, Dean grabbed Y/N’s phone from her purse on the floor of the passenger seat and texted Sam. When that’s done, he rested his head against the headrest and sighed. “You know, we’re gonna have to be careful how, when, and where we deposit the money.”

“You think I haven’t thought that through already?” she scoffed.

“I know you have,” he answered.

The car ride was silent as Dean dozed in the passenger seat, until finally she reached over and shook him awake with a hand on his thigh. He rubbed his eyes and squinted out the windshield at the heavier traffic.

“We almost there?”

Y/N nodded and glanced over at him before merging into the exit lane. “Just about. Sam called; they’re at the airport. They’ll text us when they land in Florence. They’re supposed to land around 10:00am tomorrow.”

Dean stretched as much as he could in the tiny front seat, groaning as he adjusted his posture to sit back up against the seat. He’d slid down while he slept, and he had no doubt he was snoring, too.

“That’s good,” he said. “You need me to do anything?”

“Turn the duffel bag inside out so the canvas is on the inside. It needs to blend with the rest of our luggage.” She glanced over at him again. “And change into the shirt I put in my purse for you. We don’t want anyone seeing your bank uniform.”

He followed her instructions as she drove the rest of the way to the apartment that Sam and Jess purchased a few weeks ago. Sam had been wanting to move out of Lawrence for a while now, and their recent buy combined with his and Jess’ delayed honeymoon to Italy made the perfect excuse for Dean and Y/N to house-sit.

By the time they got to the parking spots designated for their apartment, Dean had changed into the polo Y/N had packed for him. It wasn’t his favorite, but it went well with the dress pants and shoes so he didn’t look too out of place. The goal was to blend in as much as possible.

“Jess told the receptionist that we’re housesitting for them this week, so we can go straight up. We shouldn’t have to worry about getting stopped.”

Y/N climbed out of the car and grabbed her suitcase out of the bag, as well as a second matching duffel bag. Dean took the one with the cash and her purse, then took the handle of his own suitcase after Y/N unloaded it from the trunk of the car.

They walked together towards the building entrance, and as they near the doors, Y/N chuckled. Dean glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s so funny?” he asks.

She grinned as she paused on the sidewalk in front of the double glass doors, and the mischievous sparkle in her eye made Dean grin as well. “I forgot to ask you,” she says. “How was your day?”

He laughed, then leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of her lips. “It was fine. Nothing exciting happened,” Dean teased, and she rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re so full of it. I picked the worst hostage.”

They laughed all the way up to the apartment, and Dean teased her all weekend about being her hostage, though he didn’t mind his role one bit.

Thank you for reading! <3

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[travelingtheusa]

LOUISIANA

2022 Apr 28 (Thu) – We stayed in the campground all day, working on the two caravans – Pennsylvania and Alaska. There was a business meeting at 9:00 a.m.  Doug called on me to discuss my candidacy for the 2 VP position.  I said a few things.  I didn’t know I was going to speak so I had nothing prepared.  I guess I fumbled my way through it alright.  Later, Doug again called on me to tell everyone about our two caravans.  There were lots of questions and several folks said they were signing up.  HQ tells me we already have 25 people signed up and we’ll only be taking 18.

      At 4:30 p.m. we went to the clubhouse for attitude adjustment.  Dinner was a baked potato with toppings.  They had all kinds of toppings: chili, sour cream, cheese, onions, and bacon.  I had a tossed salad and a bowl of chili.  After dinner, we said our goodbyes and returned to the trailer to get ready for tomorrow’s move.  It’s going to be a long drive.

2022 Apr 27 (Wed) – We went into town with Johnny & Linda to Boutin’s for lunch.  The three of them had gumbo (Johnny, Linda & Paul) while I enjoyed a salad with grilled chicken.  We were going to go to a Cajun supermarket called Nu Nu’s but there wasn’t time to get there and back to the campground for the fried fish meal.  Johnny is assuming the President of the Cajuns chapter and is finding demands on his time that he hadn’t expected.

      Attitude adjustment was at 4:30 p.m.  Dinner was fried catfish at 6:00 p.m.  After dinner, we played card bingo.  I won a game, netting $8.  We also won the 50/50 drawing for $45.  After we subtracted the costs of the night, we walked away with $30!  It was a profitable night for us.

      I met with Lisa, the secretary-treasurer for the women’s chapter in SMART.  The president has been having medical issues and it looks like she will not be continuing in her role.  It’s a shame.  We formed the chapter just before the pandemic hit.  The chapter has not had any chance to coalesce and come together during these past two years.  Four people have dropped out.  Membership is small to start with – 14 members.  We will see what we can do to gin up greater interest.

I put in an application for 2nd VP of SMART.

2022 Apr 26 (Tue) – Paul spent the day working on the slide.  It was a frustrating exercise but he finally figured out the problem and got it fixed.  I swear that man has magic hands.  He can fix anything! 

      There was attitude adjustment at 4:30, then dinner at 6:00 p.m.  The meal was boiled crawfish.  There were hundreds of crawfish served up; about 5 pounds per person.  It was difficult to eat and I don’t really care for the taste of crawfish.  It seems like an incredible waste.  All you eat in the tail and throw the rest away.  There was supposed to be a flag retirement ceremony but it rained on and off all day so the ceremony was cancelled due to weather.  After dinner, we went to Johnny & Linda’s motor coach and visited til 9 p.m.

2022 Apr 25 (Mon) – Paul ordered a new motor for the slide and had it shipped overnight to our next destination.  We had emptied all the items stored under the bed (that’s where we keep all our Christmas decorations and tree).  There were boxes everywhere along with two duffle bags and a backpack.  Paul wanted to lighten the slide to make it easier to move in and out but it was still a struggle to do it.

      This morning, we packed up and left Ruston.  It was a very long drive, through intermittent rain storms, until we arrived at Poche’s fish camp in Breaux Bridge.  This is our third time here.  It is a very nice campground.  There are four very large lakes with campsites ringing the perimeter of the largest one.  The sites are concrete pads with FHU and 50-amp service.  The wifi is excellent – a rarity!

      The new motor was waiting in the office when we arrived.  Yay!  We are here to join the Cajuns Y’all Come muster.  It runs form Monday through Friday.  This is a well-known muster among SMART members and one that people have enjoyed for many years.  It is usually sold out but six people cancelled at the last minute so we were able to get in.  Johnny & Linda are here.  They will be our tail gunners on the Alaska Caravan next year.

2022 Apr 24 (Sun) – The day did not go well for us.  When we tried to close the sides, the bedroom slide stopped halfway in.  Paul potsed around with it for about a half hour but couldn’t get it fixed.  The motor that drives the slide in and out appears to be broken.  The area that he has to work in is very tiny and his big hands have a hard time getting into the small space.  We finally just pulled the slide in then got on our way at 9:20 a.m.

      It was a long drive today – 5 hours.  It rained briefly during the drive.  The route varied between 4-lane divided highway and 2-lane country roads.  We finally arrived at the Lincoln Parish Park Campground at 2:30 p.m.  It is a lovely park with lots of trees and easy but narrow inner roadways.  We are backed into a site with concrete pad, full hookups to include 50-amp electric, overlooking lake.  They have a beach area, rent kayaks, and have several pavilions.  There was a party going on at one of them.

      Once set up, we drove into town to get fuel.  We stopped at Ponchatoulas Restaurant for a late lunch/early dinner. My meal was good but Paul was disappointed with his.  He ordered chicken and sausage jambalaya but couldn’t find any chicken in it.  After lunch/dinner, we drove around a little to look at the town then returned to the campground.

     Paul set about trying to figure out the problem with the slide.  He took the area apart in order to get more room to work in.  He was able to pull the motor out and found it was broken.  Now, he will either fix it or look for a new one.

[janicho88]

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year’s Eve! to those who haven’t reached 2022 yet. There are still a few hours or 9 before it hits midnight here in Michigan😉.  I hope you all have a great start to the New Year!

I wanted to take a minute and thank you all for sticking by me this past year.  I know posting could be few and far between at times.  Unfortunately, that may continue on some into the new year.  (More on that a little further down).  I wanted to say thank you for reading, for being patient with me, for the reblogs, likes, comments and the messages.  You all are amazing!!

Operation: Christmas Couple will continue posting.  There are a few more chapters of that coming in January to wrap it up.  It is my hope to have the January chapter of Falling For You, also out in January. I would like to see that story wrap up next year, but with at least 14 chapters to go, I’m not sure that will happen. My WIP folder has some other series and mini-series, and bingo squares, I hope to share with you soon. 

I hope 2022 is good to you!! Wishing you all a safe, healthy and happy New Year!! 💗💗

***** MEDICAL TRIGGER WARNING**********************

Some of you may have read in a blog update back in November, we found out my dad has a brain tumor.  He’s been to a few specialists over the last 2 months, he sees another one on the 11th. We have found it’s not cancerous, that’s the good news.  He was hoping radiation surgery could help to shrink it.  But that has gone from a maybe, to a probably not because it’s so large.  He finds out more with this new doctor when he goes.  It looks like he will be going in for surgery shortly after his appointment. When that happens, it may mean I’m not going to be around as much for a little bit again.  Thank you for understanding 💗

~Jenny