#2020 wishlist
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ee15ad1ef26a9c5451b097164eb83687/ac848fff886ad809-73/s540x810/58d3e9517178eda9d4f7de5de5078384c3695da8.jpg)
Einstürzende Neubauten - Rampen (apm: alien pop music) (Potomak, 2024) 'Such an understanding of the relationship between silence and power, a modernity that is both bold and elegantly wild, captivating from head to toe.' _Frank Waxman, Cleveland, Tuesday 240910 10:21 am
#einsturzende neubauten#germany#2024#2020-2024#blixa bargeld#experimental#wishlist#pop rock#Bandcamp
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a8f5441fccac0ee48436adbd83c8f5d4/9904206e54222845-ef/s540x810/e1f8c66905244d217d354f869011fb94b2766e5e.jpg)
A Tomione story I’d love to read 3/?
The one in which Hermione Creevy detects the true heir of Slytherin.
As a photographer, grandma Creevy said, Hermione would perceive the world differently. Her eyes could see what others could not comprehend. But while striving to capture every scenery Hogwarts had to offer, her teenage perspective played her. Remarkably often, she found the face of the school's head boy in her film negatives. And as she watched him ever more closely through her lens, she caught him. The tension in his jaw, a strange gulp, a twitch of his finger. Her camera lens was a filter that saw through his act and revealed a truth that she was not really prepared to see. Her grandma had also always said that teenage crushes could ruin lives. Hermione was about to confirm this too.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm not making any edn predictions. idgaf i'm just going to sit here shivering like a wet chihuahua and wait for day x
#. now jf you're asking about my *wishlist* on the other hand....#. but predictions? none. head empty no thoughts#spatort 2020
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5bb93cf1b71ffaa881a01ea6da948b38/1a2a558083dd0cd1-03/s540x810/6e5b8a767f8d688d1a075fb053f0f5d38b08a7a0.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/938cb595522dc15c7f3d1d8569ef2068/1a2a558083dd0cd1-ce/s540x810/b57783ecd79c2fa7746597462878f3974d7e63ba.jpg)
source: ebay
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is only the combination of work and my weekly Pathfinder game sharply limiting my available time that will preserve you from me Posting Through It when Tactical Breach Wizards drops tomorrow.
#tactical breach wizards#I've been excitedly anticipating this game for YEARS#apparently I wishlisted it on Steam in 2020!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4e073f3e6ca69c70e0d15af415ad9ada/ecc551c5c87205a3-ef/s400x600/51779ed886dde2a8a5afb7b75f7f5c992647156e.webp)
Gif by Owlsie-hoot
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
what pc games came out in 2021-2023 anyway (not elden ring)
#in spring 2020 I became pcless and I stopped logging into steam#I did today and everything looks exactly the same…#but in my wishlist it’s like a freaking time capsule in there
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Book Buying Ban Reduction Month Progress:
Days 1-15: so good! only two books even though I went to two library sales
Upcoming library sale: 😅
BookOutlet with its $5.99 fiction/20% off the rest sale: 😬
Me knowing Half Price Books will lure me in with its 20% off sale (including all the $2-3 clearance books) in the last weekend of the month:
#frankly at this point I KNOW I am placing a BookOutlet order so all of my willpower is going toward#trying to keep my book-spending cap below $50 for the month (so I can cheat and go up to $60 lbr)#i have not bought from them all year and given that $6 is now cheaper than 2020s adult paperbacks at HPB even on sale...#well. i just think there are some things on there that are worth it.#i have been maintaining an active wishlist all year and have gotten mildly grumpy when several titles of interest sold out#(but I never had enough at once to justify an an actual order and without free shipping it is NOT cheaper than HPB)#I know I could simply NOT go to the library but you see WHAT IF they have a book I might have bought at the other places
0 notes
Text
Are they ever releasing way to the woods lol. I remember getting excited asf abt this game in like 2016 and then even more excited when it was announced for the Xbox and then nothing came out of it 😭 ik it’s just one person doing this game but Yknow
#idk if it has changed production#it’s still as a wishlist on steam. it was meant to release in 2020 😞#they speak
1 note
·
View note
Text
Something I wish some leftists understood is that most liberals and partisan Democrats have criticisms of the party or things we don't agree with the leadership on, we're just terrified sometimes to the point of paranoia of anything depressing the vote. And we have reason to be scared of that, there are multiple precedents in recent history. It feels a bit absurd to be raking the Democrats over the coals when the alternative is what it is currently. I think there are probably leftists who felt like after Biden won in 2020 we would reach the promised future where we could push Democrats more but the thing is, Trump didn't go away after 2020. He's been running for president for the last four years. We're still trying to keep the lunatic fascists from blowing us all to smithereens. I have a wishlist for the Democratic Party but I'm not willing to let Republicans win over it. And notably the Democratic Party has responded to its voters in a lot of ways. We're not smug, we're scared.
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/390b8b5b49e268e23c1bf06d18e797dd/132f8ebcddf3ea9f-ab/s540x810/0276336227083d99b5e00237f93a64e01c3cbbc8.jpg)
Vegyn - The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions (PLZ Make It Ruins, 2024) 'Vegyn’s The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions (PLZ Make It Ruins, 2024) is a standout in experimental electronic music, meticulously blending R&B, ambient, and IDM. The fragmented beats and atmospheric layers create a complex and eclectic universe that remains remarkably cohesive. It connects everything in a Jungian dream-like way, offering a unique and immersive listening experience.' _Ivy
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time for some greetings and introduction!
Personal Infos
Hi!
I’m Zewik!
I’m a She/Her AFAB person
I am Asexual, but I enjoy being with people of any gender/sex (Pan&Ace)
I was born in 1995
I’m Italian and I currently (Nov 2024) live in Italy
Feederism Infos
I am a Gainer since 2014 (I started as an athletic 75 kg 18 years old)
I am a Feedee since 2017 (when I met my ex-bf and then in 2018 my current wife)
I am a D34th Feedee since 2020
I am 160 cm tall (5’2’’)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/51cf73093c84fa2f27bdc0bb4f135ae1/4b3f1545fa2b36d3-58/s540x810/3e578ce3fa4feb88362787846cf4d90dc13fb0d7.jpg)
What I’m Into
• Being Called in SUINE names (es. Pig, Piggie, Piggy, Piglet, Hog, Sow, etc)
• Extreme, Morbid and Unhealthy Sides of Feederism
• Unhealthy Eating/Feeding and Never Exercising
• Immobility
• Overeating, Overstuffing and Overbloating
• Soft Feeding, Hard Feeding and Force Feeding
• Funnel Feeding and Nasogastric Tube Feeding
• Stretch Marks
• Body Modification as Tattoos and Piercings
• Being as Unhealthy as Possible
• Obesity-Related Mobility Problems (such as using a scooter, a cane, or a wheelchair)
• Public Feeding/Stuffing
• Humiliation, Teasing, and Public Humiliation/Teasing
• Tight Clothes
• Sugar-Fried Brain (Obesity and Food-Related Loss of Intelligence)
• A bit of IMAGINATIVE C4nnib4lism (as in: i fantasizing about that, when I’ll die from obesity, my flesh&lard will be used to fatten up another feedee)
• Body Contrast
• Slim, Muscular, Fit, Athletic, Chubby, Fat, and Obese AFAB Bodies!
• Slim, Muscular, Fit, Athletic AMAB Bodies!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b881837f4e3d98b2b814b7f252ad0b42/4b3f1545fa2b36d3-ac/s540x810/49c9dcd0fb62e5c6b14c2d72ec6806ca70ac3ff1.jpg)
What I’m NOT Into
• Any Animal Name beside SUINE Ones (es. Cow, Whale, Elephant, Hippo, etc)
• Burps and Farts
• Sloppy and/or Messy Eating
• Vore
• Roleplaying
• Blueberry
• Mutual Gaining
• Breeding and/or Pregnancy
• Inflation
• Padding
• Popping/Exploding Stomach (yeah, not gonna happen)
• Chubby, Fat, and Obese AMAB Bodies!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/79184b075794f9fbc142251075396dcf/4b3f1545fa2b36d3-a1/s540x810/b82fdf01b75d25759af0bd89a960a3f03e661496.jpg)
Other Socials and Other Links
Linktree
You can donate any amount on Paypal!
Or you can gift me anything from my Amazon Wishlist!
Instagram: @zewik7_deatfeedee (@Zewik7 was banned in 2022)
Contact me on Discord if you want to chat! Discord Username: @zewik7
Feabie: Zewik7
FetLife: Zewik7
Ask me anything on Tellonym!
I’m also on Reddit!
#death feed#death feedee#gaining fat#fat girl#fat girls#death feederism#feedisn#obese feedee#death feedist#get me fatter
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
TLDR: im a black trans artist who can use some help right now following the sudden passing of my only sister - her doberman is now the responsibility of my parents and we can use help for his food, supplements, toys etc.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c2dfec7a7032c9edd2654e79ff4467f9/0c5832c9b2126359-86/s540x810/f48255629efe83f73a6154c81dfa702844f62c08.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/698c07ff4abe24bb8ae58d9487163d49/0c5832c9b2126359-1e/s540x810/1f067a8f18884a7f922d8a03f874743dae182354.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/553a8468192d1f61f0ad47497762f4ff/0c5832c9b2126359-c0/s540x810/6ade5d825feec429c7694d976c4ba719a34d55e2.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc3adde2ef39ff5751666b2417c74022/0c5832c9b2126359-1f/s540x810/260ba5613401590a981ae75f37932ef7b9a203c7.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a5a12c63559ef018fbf2aa25b7c440c0/0c5832c9b2126359-54/s540x810/5106463d8d4b575669dbb879a0c8f5b2ddbec306.jpg)
Kofi (help me send Chewy orders to my parent's house)
Wishlist (literally send him things like toys, treats, etc.)
⬇️ more info ⬇️
hey guys
some of you might be aware of this already, but early October, my eldest sibling & only sister suddenly passed away due to a seizure, she had been dealing with epilepsy her whole life.
this has been incredibly difficult for me, and my family. her passing was incredibly sudden, she was only 30.
for the past month or so ive been struggling to find any motivation to draw, and barely able to work.
she was the incredibly devoted owner of a doberman named Remi(Ramsey). Me and my sister traveled 4 hours to pick him up three years ago. He's a goofball who tears up socks and needs constant supervision. My parents love him, but I can tell he is a lot of work for two people who have fulltime jobs and have lived long lives.
I'm going to try to help them take care of him as much as possible, I feel that it's the least we can do to honor my sister's memory, since she loved him so deeply.
My sister always wanted a doberman, for years she would watch videos about dobermans and talk about them to anyone who would listen.
Remi wasn't easy to raise - I shared a room with my sister when she got him in 2020, she still worked a 9-5, five days a week, so I was his nanny for most of his difficult childhood. I was his chew toy for the first year of his life about - but that only made him bond closer to me. If he wasn't following my sister, I was choice #2. Dobermans are "velcro dogs", they were bred to guard their owners, and because of this, they are fiercely loyal. I've been moved out of my parent's place for going on 3 years, and my sister had just moved with Remi out a few months prior to her passing.
A week before my sister's sudden passing, we had to board Remi at my dog daycare job while my family and I took a trip out of state. When dropping him off, although he was happy to see me again for the first time in months, the moment my sister turned her back to him he began to panic. He got through the boarding all right but my coworkers told me he would cry and wait by the door for me or her. When my sister picked him up, they said he jumped all 80+lbs into her arms.
Since my sister's passing, Remi has been directionless. He's with my family, people he trusts, but he's bored, confused, and heartbroken. My sister would often take him to the dog park, social events, on runs, etc. but my parent's can't do that in their age. If my apartment allowed large dogs, I would take him, but I can't, and I see him maybe twice a month if possible.
Ramsey's Christmas List
I made a christmas list for him of things that might help my parents better take care of him. We're trying different food brands out because he struggles with frequent stomach issues, and we can't seem to figure out what food my sister was feeding him. This list is by no means a necessity for him, but I tried to add things to help with his boredom and keep him stimulated when my parents can't give him all their attention.
i do want to state that my family is capable of providing him with the essentials to live, we arent irresponsible. i would just like to help my parents out since a 3 year old 80-90lb doberman is a lot of work to be suddenly placed on them soley. And I worry for his health and well-being sometimes - Remi has a tendency to eat/tear random objects when he's bored.
please consider donating whatever you can. Everything goes directly to him.
thank you for taking the time to read this, and possibly reblog if possible. ❤️
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4271aacf5b888817c8ce26610a1cfbdd/0c5832c9b2126359-69/s640x960/2412799e30b0c8fe87a4d96a866a8b276c6ad4fd.jpg)
#artists on tumblr#black artist#black lives matter#mutual aid#doberman#doberman pinscher#trans artist#trans day of visibility#tdov
526 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b679ee9aa155baa474b7d463add4a5c/a632ed5f0f28ece1-7e/s540x810/c578abdef7bbd4eff669c1e5d49e22fd0d37c91c.webp)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6123db1f313024037c108417460ed2e0/a632ed5f0f28ece1-ff/s540x810/978d9a881d631a6f08f7c97bfc80c8eab7121a9e.webp)
source: lululemon
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Being Human - Part 3
Pairing: Alec McDowell x F. Reader
Summary: Your life made sense before Alec slipped his way in. He unravels your threads without even trying. He frustrates you as easily as he weasels back into your good graces. But you soon realize that this man is worth the challenge.
AN: Remember that in this point in the season, we're in the year 2020 (DA season 2 was released in 2001). And we're about to dive into some rocky waters...
Chapter Summary: The weight of Alec’s secret is starting to create fractures. Because now, you have a secret of your own.
Song Inspo: “Attention” by Avant (ft. Snoop Dog)
Word Count: 4,400
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! For smut, elements of mate claiming, fluff, angst, perilous situations, and a cliffhanger...
💜 Series Masterlist
Part 3: Complications
These are the nights you live for.
The gang’s all here at Crash. You’re accompanied by Max, Logan, Original Cindy, and a fruity cocktail Alec got for you. Though you roll your eyes at the way your boyfriend is trying to hook people into playing a game of pool with him, clearly so he can hustle them. The man has freakish skills.
He’s already won two or three paychecks’ worth off Sketchy, who bows out by necessity.
“Come on. Anyone, anyone! Step right up and test your skills!” Alec calls throughout the back of the bar.
“Babe, would you give it up?” you say, even though you’re smiling. “No one wants to get swindled.”
He turns to you, zeroing in with a flirtatious grin.
“Want to try your hand, sweetheart?” he asks.
You snort. “I think not.”
“Aw, come on. We don’t even have to play for cash. How about sexual favors?” he offers. The more he thinks about it, the more he likes that idea, with a growing smile. His gaze locks on yours.
“I wouldn’t even mind losing,” he says, giving you a cocky wink.
You smile, fighting a blush. Max and Cindy roll their eyes. Logan ducks his head in amusement.
“That white boy nonsense actually works on you?” Cindy asks.
You take a decided sip of your cocktail in lieu of answering.
In the end, Logan steps up to the plate, to much cajoling. When he actually wins, Alec is forced to accept a bruised ago as he forks over $50.
You beckon him over and he joins your half-booth table. You lean against him after he slides in behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist. He presses a kiss to the side of your head, and you know he doesn’t care all that much about the game.
You all cut up as usual for a while, laughing and telling stories from the day of package slinging. Logan patiently listens to all of you Jam Pony alumni commiserating over how each of you would choose to prank Normal (if there were no repercussions). Sketchy ends up with the best idea: putting super glue in the glue stick the man uses on his hair.
When the laughter dies down, Alec offers to buy the next round of beer. He often does, you’ve noticed; he’s a generous person, whether he thinks of himself that way or not. Logan gets up to join him at the bar, wanting to chip in for the pitcher with his “new winnings.”
You shake your head at that. Alec’s pride probably won’t allow competition from Logan for a second time tonight.
“We’re about to be short-staffed again,” says Cindy, earning your attention. “Jenny got knocked up.”
Max’s brows raise, while you give a happy clap and a sound of excitement.
“Oh, good for her! She and Carlos have been trying for months.”
“Hmph. That is one thing I’m not envious of,” Cindy says.
“No kids on your wishlist?” you ask.
“Not a chance, boo,” she replies.
You turn to Max next. “Are you in Miss Anti-Family’s camp too?”
“Hey, ain’t nobody said I’m anti-family,” Cindy cut in. “I believe it comes in all shapes and sizes, and they don’t gotta be your blood.”
You take a moment to think about what she’s saying, and you conceded with a nod and a smile.
“Fair enough, OC. You’ve got it right,” you gestured at her with the hand that held your drink. She clinks her half-empty beer with your glass. Both of you then turn to Max with expectant gazes, still waiting on her answer.
“I’m not into all that domestic stuff, really,” she says. Though her gaze drifts toward Logan, who’s still arguing with Alec at the bar. “My life’s complicated enough.”
Cindy snorts into her glass. You don’t quite get it; maybe because you don’t really know Max all that well, for how often you guys hang out. It’s like she keeps you at an arm’s length. It hurts you sometimes, when you see how close she is with Cindy, but you suppose it’s her right to keep her circle small.
The world’s become a lot tougher after the Pulse. The more people know about you, the more they can use it against you. That’s why finding people you can trust, and even love, is all the more precious.
You glance over at the bar again, where Logan and Alec have seemed to come to a consensus. (Logan’s bowed out of paying for beer.) Alec has a victorious little smile on his face. He looks over, as if sensing your gaze, and he shoots you a wink. Your smile grows.
Meanwhile, Max and Cindy watch you with twin looks of wry amusement.
“So you want the family package, huh?” Cindy asks.
You twirl your straw around your glass.
“I haven’t thought all that hard about it, but…I wouldn’t mind, with the right person.”
Max chortles, pointing a finger towards the bar. “You think that’s Alec?”
Cindy’s brows furrow slightly as she shoots her friend a warning look. You bite your lip and look down at your drink.
“Now’s not the right time but, maybe someday,” you reply.
Later that night, you treat yourself to a bath in Alec’s apartment. The heater here is amazing. His place is so spacious, with a huge TV in the living room worthy of his obsession with cartoons and soap operas.
He has another one in the bedroom, where he’s made himself comfortable watching some old sitcom.
When you eventually get out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around you, Alec is predictably glued to the TV. You don’t even think he’s noticed you when you walk by him to grab the change of clothes from your overnight bag, but he pulls you into his lap before you can get dressed.
“Why the hell do you need clothes?” he says, stealing a kiss. “Those cumbersome things.”
You giggle, and he smiles against your lips. He rolls you underneath him on the bed and you help divest him of his clothes, down to his boxer briefs. He’s in a good mood tonight, you can tell.
He takes one corner of your towel and peels it off you slowly, until your body is bare for his gaze. His eyes take in every inch of you before they make it back to your lightly blushing face.
He smiles, and he takes down the messy bun from your head to have your hair fanning wildly across his pillows. Your hands move across his chest and further down, but he puts a stop to your exploration. He grasps your wrists and pins them down to the bed with a strength you can’t escape.
You raise your brows. “Alec?”
“Trust me,” he says, dipping down to kiss your neck. “Let me take care of you tonight.”
You suck in a breath. Far be it from you to argue with that.
“Is this one of those sexual favors?” you tease.
He laughs against your skin. “You’re about to find out.”
Then his mouth drifts away from your neck, burning a hot, wet trail across your dewy skin. He finds his way between your breasts, before he lavishes attention to each one. While his tongue swirls around one pert bud, he rolls the other under his thumb and pinches just hard enough to elicit a gasp from you.
Your back arches off the bed a bit; your fingers rake through his sandy hair, clenching whenever he finds a sensitive spot. Both your grip and your voice spur him on, letting him know he’s in the right direction.
You don’t know this, of course, but before a few months ago, he wasn’t so well-versed in this arena. He’s learned his way down a woman’s body with much practice. And he’s come to find that every one of them is different, each with their own set of tells, as he likes to call them.
For example, he knows that even you don’t mind it fast and rough, you prefer it slow, like this. You like a full work up, with his lips dragging down below your navel and his thumbs guiding your knees open, so he can slot himself between your legs.
Already you’re breathing deeper as he makes his way down, pressing open-mouthed kisses down the inside of your left thigh. His tongue licks a languid stripe up the seam of your pussy.
“Alec,” you whine, like you want him to speed up the pace. Maybe you do, but all he gives you is a smirk from between your legs.
“Patience is a virtue,” he teases.
You huff and will yourself to be virtuous, closing your eyes with deep breaths. “Please…”
He chuckles. “I gotcha, baby. Don’t worry.”
His hand slides up your lower belly, both to comfort you and to hold you down. You cover his hand with yours, but your nails soon dig into his skin as his fingers deftly slip past your folds and find your entrance.
“Already drenched for me, I see,” he remarks approvingly. He gathers some wetness and finds your clit, circling with the pads of his fingers. He searches for the right angle, using the sound of your voice to guide him.
When you suck in a gasp and shudder, he knows he’s found the right spot. He replaces his hand with his tongue, while he slips two fingers deep inside you. As he works you over, unrelenting when your hips threaten to raise off the bed, he holds you down with a firm hand. Your hands fist in his hair as your eyes close and your mouth drops open with your moans.
Finally, you buck against his chin and let out a wordless cry. He feels your wetness coat his tongue and knows he’s making you come. Your inner walls are still quivering around his fingers when he slips them out of you. He actually licks them clean, making you shiver again at the sight.
Alec crawls back up the length of your body while you catch your breath. He smiles down on you and brushes your cheek with the back of his hand.
“Not about to pass out on me, are you?” he asks. A teasing gleam is in his eyes. “I think I can resuscitate you.”
You laugh breathily in response and pull him down to you, crashing his lips to yours. You taste yourself on his tongue, which isn’t unpleasant. Your nails drag down the back of his neck. Alec groans into your mouth and sinks his fingers into your hair.
Now he’s more on your wavelength as you reach for the waistband of his boxer brief and quickly roll them down. He helps you by kicking them the rest of the way off, allowing you to wrap your thighs around his hips tightly.
“Hey, wait a second,” he says, laughing with his forehead pressed to yours. He grabs your hips and angles you a bit higher, then he reaches between your bodies and holds the painfully hard, weeping head of his cock at your entrance.
He meets your eyes, and you smile and squeeze the back of his neck in encouragement.
As slowly as he can manage, he pushes inside you. He stretches open your inner walls inch by inch. Both of you take in deep breaths and utter mingled moans as he continues to push inside, until the head of his cock reaches the very depths of you.
You toss your head back against the pillow with a heavy breath.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you nod, licking your lips. “Just move, baby, please.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. He likes when you call his name, but he thinks he likes even more when you call him baby. He knows that you mean it, unlike women he’s had to pay for.
But he doesn’t want to think about any of those exploits when he’s with you—there’s no comparison. He slides out almost the full length of his cock, before he pushes back in. He builds a slow, sensuous, steady rhythm that serves both of you well.
He actually works up a sweat, and you help him by meeting his thrusts, encouraging him whenever you give him your voice, your instructions and praises, your hands attempting to squeeze the circulation out of his arms.
He's so focused on rocking your world (and his own) that he doesn’t realize what you’re about to do.
He’s deep inside you when you brush your hand along his jaw and utter the truth.
“I love you,” you whisper.
Alec pauses.
Both of you are breathing hard, but the fact that he doesn’t say anything makes you freeze. Neither of you have said that before. You hold in your breath.
Alec’s pupils are blown wide as he dips down, nosing along your throat before he begins to move inside you again. You moan in response as your legs squeeze his hips. He sinks his teeth just above where your neck meets your shoulder, making you gasp and arch against him, gripping his hair tight.
The way you’re squeezing him so tightly, from the inside out, means he reaches his shuddering end before you do, but he still makes sure you get there for a second time. His fingers reach between you to press and circle around your clit before his last few hard thrusts. It has you coiled tight, before you gasp and moan your release.
He licks a long stripe along your neck. You hiss in pain when he laps over tender flesh.
“Sorry,” he pants.
“You got me good, Count Dracula,” you quip.
Alec breathes warmly against your ear. He pulls back and examines the bite mark on your neck. He barely remembers doing it.
It’s like…some kind of claim.
Like an animal, he thinks wryly. For the first time, he wonders just what the hell they put into his cocktail at Manticore.
He clears his throat.
“Uh, I’m sorry,” he says, contritely. “Didn’t mean to…”
You slide your hands up his arms and catch his gaze. You smile in amusement, even though you’re blushing.
“Didn’t say I didn’t like it.”
The two of you don’t talk about what you said.
Or what he didn’t say.
You don’t know what’s happening, but you think it stems from that night.
Alec begins to pull away from you.
Dinner plans get “rain checked.” Trips to the farmer’s market, to the park, to Pike Place get cancelled.
For the next few weeks, the only time you see him is at work or at Crash, or occasionally in the line for boxed and canned goods in Sector 2.
Max can’t give you a straight answer on what’s going on with him (and really, you should be able to figure out your own boyfriend without her help). So you finally have to put your foot down.
You try to pull him aside at work, in front of the Jam Pony building. He’s on his way in, while you’d been on your way out.
“Alec, can I talk to you?” you ask. He gives you a strained, apologetic look.
“I’ve gotta pick up my next deliveries.”
“Alec, please,” you implore. You squeeze his arm enough to hold his attention. “I feel like…like you’re avoiding me. Is there something going on?”
His expression dims further. “I’ve just been really busy.”
“We’re always busy. That’s not it.” You frown, and your body tenses. “Is there…someone else?”
Alec briefly closes his eyes, emitting a short sigh. “No. Nothing like that.”
You let out a subtle breath of relief, because you do believe him this time. But that just makes your next question even more difficult. Your arms cross, to disguise the way you’re bracing for a figurative blow.
“Then…have I done something wrong?” you ask.
That hurts Alec even more. Though his training, so deeply ingrained, allows him not to show it.
“No. No, it’s not you,” he says, wiping a hand over his mouth. “It’s… Listen, I just think we needa slow down a bit, you know?”
“Slow down?” you ask. A trill of panic laces down your spine. “Is it about…what I said?”
Alec doesn’t want to answer, but you both know then that you’ve hit the nail on the head.
“I just need some space,” he says. “I think it’ll be better for both of us.”
“Really?” you ask. Your voice flattens, and hot tears well up in your eyes.
It threatens to undo him. Somehow, he’s able to hold firm in what he believes he has to do, in order to protect you. Even from himself.
Alec reaches for your cheek. He hesitates just slightly, but he drops a kiss on your forehead.
You don’t want to let him. You can’t help it though; you savor his touch. You feel his warm lips on your skin, and then he’s gone by the time you open your eyes.
A few days later, you still feel like hell. You manage to reach your locker and you lean against it. Your stomach churns with nausea—the constant sign of your stress as you try to get through your morning.
On the TV, some government agent is exposing a genetics company called Manticore. That it created “transgenic” subjects as genetically engineered soldiers, often using animal DNA. They escaped almost a year ago now.
They’re not human. They’re living among you. They’re dangerous, and you have a right to be scared.
You’re only half-listening, because the truth is, this sounds like a bunch of fearmongering bullshit, and you’re too tired to be all that alarmed. Humans are dangerous enough, as far as you’re concerned.
The government is probably trying to cover up something even more heinous by concocting this ridiculous story.
You rest your cheek against the cool metal of your locker and just stand there for a while in time in space. You don’t care much about the world around you, until Max comes into your line of vision. She touches your arm.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine.” A vast overstatement, though you know that you aren’t convincing anyone.
You look up just in time to see Alec standing at his own locker. He’d been glancing at you and Max, but being caught by your gaze makes him turn away, closing his locker as he leaves.
Max’s lips press together. She returns her attention to you in thinly veiled concern.
“What happened exactly?” she asks.
“Max, I don’t know,” you confess. “Things were fine. They were good.”
You let out a deep, exhausted breath.
Oh yeah, you haven’t been sleeping much lately either.
“Deep in my gut, I have this feeling. Like he’s going through something,” you say. “Or he’s hiding something from me. He just won’t talk to me. Every time it feels like we’re headed somewhere good, solid, he pulls away. I can’t fucking do it anymore, Max. I just can’t take it.”
You slam your locker closed and try to get on with your day before your tears fall. Max sighs and watches you go.
She doesn’t know that you head to the bathroom and heave your breakfast into the toilet bowl, spilling what little you could keep down this morning.
You haven’t been sighted at Crash in weeks, but Alec comes here every night, Max notices. He drinks alone tonight, once again looking more woe is me than ever.
It boils her blood.
She takes a seat next to him and punches his arm with a heavy dose of her transgenic strength. Alec flinches with a cry of protest, but she just glares at him.
“Why are you doing this to her? To yourself?” she demands.
Alec wants to glare at her, but he doesn’t have it in him. He just quirks his head and sips his drink. He doesn’t even know what kind of liquor this is, but the bartender promised it’s the strongest thing he has back there.
“Leave it alone, Maxie,” Alec says, as he takes a sip. Though strongest be damned, he’s slammed down four of these and he’s still not drunk. Ain’t that a bitch.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says.
“I don’t?” Max raises her brows. “You’re fucking with her head and her heart. And for what? So you can have a little pity party?”
Alec does glare at her this time. “You know what, why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”
“Not until you tell me,” she demands. “Why’re you pushing away someone who clearly cares about you? Not that I get why. If this selfish, pigheaded, asshole behavior is supposed to be charming, then maybe she’s better off without you.”
He slams down his glass hard enough for liquor to slosh out over his hand.
“Don’t you get it?! That’s exactly it,” he hisses, low enough that only the two of them can hear. “When are you going to understand that we’re a threat to them? We’re being hunted every damn day. You think Ames White and his cult cronies’ll think twice about a little collateral damage?”
“Alec—”
“You think you and Logan are any different?” he adds. “Let me remind you, you were a danger to him even before a genetically engineered virus came into the picture.”
She’s angry, but he knows she can’t argue with logic. They both know that Alec is speaking from a place of experience.
“So you’re just gonna break her heart?” she asks. “Again?”
Alec shakes his head and casts his gaze down into brown liquor. Max leans toward him with a steely glower.
“You’re a coward,” she says, before she slips away.
Alec wipes his wet hand on his jeans.
…Maybe she’s right, he thinks. You’ll probably end up regretting the day you ever met him, but at least you’ll be alive to hate him.
“Oh God,” you utter, a hand covering your mouth.
You haven’t been to the doctor in several years, but you managed to scrape enough money together to afford this little test. It gave you a more definitive answer on why you’ve spent the last few weeks fighting sickness and fatigue in equal measure.
How could this have happened? You were on birth control. What could possibly have…
You don’t know what possesses you to go hunting for the little round packet in the medicine cabinet. You examine its contents and confirm that you haven’t missed even one pill of your pharmacy-issued birth control.
On the bottom of the packet, however, you spy something small in the fine print: EXP – 02/2017.
Expired…THREE YEARS AGO?!
Apparently, you can’t put it past pharmacies to sell outdated meds now.
You sit alone on your couch in silence for nearly an hour. You run down every scenario, every path you could possibly take and try to consider its most likely outcome.
Medical care is a joke nowadays, unless you're still part of the wealthy 1%. That also includes...termination.
Even you did try to find a way to do it, somehow scrounging up the money to end this, the thought alone makes your heart ache.
Alec is young, and so are you. You two had barely been together for six months before he basically broke up with you, and you're not even sure how he'll react when you tell him. (At this point, you don't have high hopes.)
And yet, it hurts. What you'd told Original Cindy was the truth; you want a family. You're tired of being alone, even though the two options laid out before you scare you in equal measure.
A thousand thoughts are still running through your mind, contradicting each other with brutal logic, versus what your heart tells you. But one decision is certain...
You need to talk to Alec first.
You wait until the morning at Jam Pony HQ, when you’ve settled your nerves enough to see Alec.
He never shows up for work, even an hour into shift. Damn it.
Okay, you suppose you’ll have to do this another way. You grab your phone, and you call him.
Thankfully, he picks up on the fourth ring. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you reply, a bit awkwardly. The two of you haven’t spoken in nearly a month.
“What’s up?” He doesn’t sound like himself. He sounds guarded, almost hesitant.
“We need to talk, Alec.”
He blows out a sigh. “Look, I haven’t changed my mind.”
You swallow past the pain.
“I know," you dully reply. "It’s not about that, but this isn’t a conversation I want to have digitally.”
“...Okay,” he relents, with another sigh. He sounds a bit distracted. “Uh, I’m taking care of something right now, but I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you stop by my place after work?”
You nod. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.”
Of course, it’s hard to focus on your work after that. You wonder how many months you have until you can’t work anymore. Until you’ll have to fend for yourself…and for your child.
With or without Alec, you plan to do whatever it takes.
So you do your best, as you always do, to get through your day. You fight exhaustion and nausea and anxiety with every delivery, but at the end of the day, you have a clipboard full of signatures and a clean docket.
You leave right at 7:00 p.m. to head over to Alec’s apartment. You use your spare key to unlock the door and find the apartment shrouded in darkness. You flip on the closest light switch before you turn to shut and lock the door behind you.
The door pushes open abruptly.
It knocks straight into you and throws you off your feet. You crash with a pained cry into a wooden table, knocking off a half-empty glass of whiskey that cuts into your arm when it breaks.
A pair of strong hands take hold of you and haul you up, spinning you around. You stare up with wide eyes into the face of a man you think you’ve actually seen before. He’s tall, white, dark hair, piercing eyes.
On the news, you realize. You saw him on the news.
“Where is 494?” he demands to know.
You blink in confusion and fear. “What?”
The man rolls his eyes.
“Alec McDowell,” he says.
Your breath stills in your lungs.
“Why’re you looking for him?” you ask. “You…you work for the government.”
“That’s right.” His smile is thin. “It’s a federal matter. And I suggest you tell me what I want to know.”
His grip on your arm tightens enough to make you whimper.
“I don’t know where he is,” you blurt out. Mostly because it’s the truth.
He raises a brow. “He lives here, doesn’t he?”
You refuse to answer, but the man lowers his gun and seats you forcefully on the couch.
“Then we’ll wait.”
Minutes turn to an hour. Alec’s late—a fact you’re half relieved about, and half cursing him for. You turn to the man who holds you at gunpoint without even looking at you. Though you instinctively know that any attempts to run will be short-lived.
His men wait by the door with guns at the ready.
“Who are you?” you ask.
The man turns his head and gives you a cold smile. “Agent White, at your service.”
“Okay, Agent White. Why are you after Alec?”
“Oh, I’ve been looking for him for a long time,” he says.
You frown, with pursed lips. “Why? What do you think he’s done?”
“It’s not what he’s done. It’s what he is,” White says. “Him, and everyone like him.”
“What the fuck are you on about?” you snap.
White rolls his eyes. He lets out a sharp sigh before he stands. He grabs you up along with him. Fear churns inside you, tightening in your throat.
“I have a better idea,” White says. “Instead of using you as leverage to make him come quietly, I think I’ll just let him walk in, nice and easy. He’ll find you gutted. On the floor. And then I’ll do the same to him.”
Frightened tears well up in your eyes when his grip moves and tightens on your jaw, like he’s thinking about breaking your neck.
“Wait, please!” you plead. “I’m pregnant!”
White actually pauses, tilting his head. He smiles.
“Interesting.”
AN: Ames White has entered the chat...
EDIT (2-05-24): I made some edits here on the reader's thoughts of what she should do after her discovery. In hindsight, I realized I'd left out some aspects of the world. Specifically how access to medical care would influence her decision vs. what this particular character wants for herself.
Next Time:
“Hello, 494.” A man’s voice—one that Alec would know anywhere. It prickles his skin with unease and makes his blood boil all at once.
“Ames White.” Alec’s teeth grind. “What game are you playing now?”
“This isn’t a game. It’s business,” White claims. “I have something you want. How much are you willing to pay to make sure she stays alive?”
Alec forces himself to calm down, even though his pulse is racing.
“What do you want?”
“You. And 452. With no bullshit on your end,” the agent replies. “Or this girl is going to pay that price for you.”
Keep Reading: Part 4 (Finale!)
Series Masterlist
Alec McDowell Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Alec M. Tag List:
@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog
@globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum @waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady @leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @emily-winchester @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy @kmc1989
@waters-2567 @iwishiwas-sleeping @jessjad @pieandmonsters @akshi8278 @honeybabycherry @deans-spinster-witch @angelbabyyy99 @jackles010378 @nancymcl @idiotdyslexic @heartlessdelusions
#Complications#Being Human#Part 3#alec mcdowell#alec mcdowell x reader#alec mcdowell x you#alec mcdowell x female reader#smut#logan x max#alec mcdowell smut#max guevara#original cindy#logan cale#ames white#Dark Angel#Jensen Ackles characters#Jensen Ackles#zepskies writes
154 notes
·
View notes