#2019-2020 school year
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Guys I’m so proud of myself I had to install a new version of matlab and I remembered to uninstall the old version too!
This post brought to you by 16 year old me’s 128 GB high school laptop that had 3 installs of Autodesk Inventor that each took up 20GB.
#why did I have inventor 2019 2020 and 2021?#well you see I used 2019 one year#then the school computers upgraded to 2020#and fusion360 exports are only compatable with 2021 or later
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i wonder if post god's menu stays realise how much of a shift that era was for skz? like obviously you can see retroactively by looking back at their discography irt their sonic signature, but i don't think people who weren't there can seriously grasp how big of a shock it was, they went from stan twitter's favourite punching bag to one of kpop's biggest up and comers practically overnight. they were already relatively popular by virtue of being a big 3 group, and they'd had a bit of success with miroh and less prominently my pace, but the absolute explosion after god's menu and their continued upward trajectory ever since was completely unprecedented for them. and especially given that they had JUST dropped a member. kpop groups do not tend to have massive spikes in popularity after losing members, and when levanter dropped we were all incredibly anxious for skz's future because it looked so bleak. we were crying cheering throwing up over ONE MUSIC SHOW WIN. ONE. they used to be less famous than everglow. do you understand me? are you understanding me.
#everglow's downfall has had kpop twitter's finest scholars scratching their heads for years#mismanagement and massive gaps between releases are probably the biggest culprits#but i think we all need to hold hands and accept that they were never going to be the next blackpink. the timing of it just wasn't right.#skz's timing on the other hand was literally perfect down to the millisecond.#i know we like to talk about how hard they work and all but i don't think we can discount how much sheer luck was involved#because i do not believe that jype or even the kids were paying that much attention to the timing of releases. like be real with me#and also their exponential growth in popularity as bts stopped being so active was not a coincidence at all#bts as a group stopped gaining as many new fans when they started solo activities and the members started military service#both due to a decrease in new music and their new music being so different from what made them appealing to young people in the first place#same with exo to a lesser degree because they never got as famous as bangtan#that left a vacuum at the top which skz stumbled into pretty naturally given their newfound and still growing popularity#all those new gen fans who were looking for the next biggest thing found skz#and with the sheer amount of content they put out they're the natural choice for a middle school kpop fan with too much time on their hands#i know that people still argue that txt is the biggest 4th gen boygroup but i'm not interested in falsifying narratives like moas are#< joke.#i know skz and txt were tussling for most popular for a while especially in 2020 and 2021#but after kingdom it just stopped being a competition. you can probably still argue that txt are more popular in sk#but with skz consistently marketing themselves as a global group theyve never done as well in sk as they have abroad that's just the truth#im not on twitter anymore so i cant obsessively monitor the trends anymore but also i don't need to because skz have come out on top. LOL#5 years and im vindicated at last.#take THAT 2019 kpop twitter.... <- man who hasn't gotten over anything ever in their life
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nice writer feeling is being able to read your own stuff from four-ish years ago and finding it's still pretty good. maybe not quite like how you'd write it today but definitely not painful to read
#花話#was rereading diary entries from like 2020-ish last night tho i also read a bit of late 2019#and stumbled across the entry from the time after i published my first ~lime~ lol n so in order to reflect back on my changing character#since then (i.e. currently working on. A ~*Lemon*~) i figured i'd read it#i also published that one anonymously for a while... it's kind of funny bc i expressed the same feelings then as the ones#that eventually contributed to my decision to publish anonymously for gnshn altogether#so like yeah fear of living in the shadow of my own bn/ha days forever; but having skimmed the like late 2019/2020 part of my life again#after the. Ordeal(tm) of my late 2018/early 2019. n stuff. and also the 'who would ever wanna read smth You wrote' thing from The Ordeal(tm)#it's occurring to me that perhaps... my bn/ha days were much more Marked by my late high school life than left Unmarked. if that makes sense#like i knew they were related n all like the resentment n jealousy n whatnot but looking at it now#the first year fresh out of Suffering is always the most fragile i suppose. which isn't smth i noticed then bc i thought i was Over It lol#anyway. learning to love one's own art is hard work but i'm glad to have put in the effort hehe
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Got my HPV vaccine today and I was pleasantly surprised to see the forms I had to fill out beforehand were trans inclusive, with the sex assigned at birth question separate from the gender question, which had 'male (including transgender men)' and 'female (including transgender women).' Don't remember there being a non-binary option unfortunately, but it's a step forward at least.
#if you're Irish afab and under 26 you can get a free catch up hpv vaccine if you didn’t get it in secondary school! go do it!#anyone who's amab and were in 1st year of secondary school in 2019/2020 can also get one#is trans healthcare in ireland to my knowledge still shit? yes#is it still a lengthy process to legally change your name? yes#but it was still nice to see that on the form#gotta say the jab hurt more than the covid one but thankfully if you're under 26 you only need one dose#hpv vaccine#pro vaxx#trans
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its funny going thru my art backlog because you can pinpoint the minute i got possessed
#txt#tbd#fixations hit me like a fucking truck. when it comes to att#art *#there are distinct phases in my art drive its like looking at the layers of a rock formation#especially funny when something pops in a bit early but doesnt hit until like a year later and then its ALLL that#<- hes looking at images to contemplate oc posting again#i feel like a clickbait channel with how often i Almost Consider Thinking About posting my art hskehsjdj#its kind of funny looking back at my 2019-2020 art and being like girl how did they let u into art school with that HDKSHKDHFEJ#my 2020 stuff especially everyone looks like when dogs get a bee sting on their snout. dunno how to explain why#ive been art blocked for a while now but at least i know ive improved since then
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Requesting mail-in voting online was surprisingly easy. And now we can't forget to do that anymore and potentially miss it.
Also why is the word "Kommunalwahl" like that. We almost misread that.
#-lutz#this not our first election. we were old enough for the last eu election. not that hard. you have to be 16 i think#but we were 18/19. pretty sure. that was 4 years ago. right?#i'm an idiot. that was 2019. of course it was. because were 18/19 and definitely we weren't 18 in 2020. i definitely know how to count#it's 5 years. and also yes. in germany and some other countries it's 16 years of age#the bundestagswahl is every 4 years. as in next year#which also means in 5 years we're going to have both. unless something happens#okay. yes. i know politics. barely. i technically never went to school and you get officially reminded of elections as you can automatically#vote in germany if you are a citizen of voting age#i find it so strange that other people have to go out of their way to make sure they can go vote
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i think 2024 will be the year of the dress for me
#during the 2019-2020 school year i did not wear pants even once#and it was kind of fun because i was known around school as the girl w the pretty dresses#cue that vine that's like 'i like to wear sparkly dresses *screech*'#chatter
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just reflecting on my past and realizing how shit everything's been. tw for lotsa things in tags or you can just ignore and go on with ur day <3
#well that poll got me thinking and i don't know how to qualify how BAD each year has been but terrible things happen every goddamn year man.#ok so 2013 i dont even remember. but 2014 i started spiraling bc of the awful friendship i was in.#2015 i decided to end that friendship and it ruined my life. still traumatized to this day.#2016 was my year of The Closet. it was horrible i was scared and suicidal and lonely.#2017 eating disorder and psychosis.#2018 i had so many panic attacks IN PUBLIC.#2019 broke up with another very close friend. repeating patterns because of trauma.#end of 2019 literally day after Christmas i lost a loved one and then early 2020 lost another. had a gf then was dumped. covid and school.#2021 went thru another rough friend break up of sorts.#2022 got evicted and then had the worst job of my entire life and also had to be Back In The Closet!!!!!#2023 unemployed and suicidal (again) era. living alone era. diagnosed with new shit and new meds messing up my life era.
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real life has been really fun ragghh anyway hi lol erm if i end up being part of performers committee for my school's fair next january i'm gna go crazy B) ✨
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#yk i used to not listen to too much opm#just whenever my dad played! and i just listened a bit in 2019 and then a bit more in 2020 and then idk what happened#i mean. i don't listen to it as much as other ppl out there fr but i actually really like opm and not just what my dad plays (my dad is a#really avid music fan) :3 !!! anyway last year we had lola amour and itchyworms which was crazy but i missed out on the concert#and traded my time to comfort some friends so. i'm a good person at least. it makes me glad either way even if things r shit w one friend <3#ARGHHH would love to have sunkissed lola esp ever since i saw them at the mitsubishi event. and one of them waved to me and lune ..... real#cool. also love their songs. pasilyo is obvs a fav but i really enjoy luna. also means a lot to me bcs. yk. Luna.#THEY COVERED mundo really well as well iirc ..... and etc. yay!#good gods i would love ben&ben at my school fair but that seems too good to come true#who knows maybe i'll get plus points for being twins too :P LMFAO (???)#idk if i'll even get into the committee idm either way but it'll be fun !! in any case: hurrah <3
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real life is so scary. i miss being sixteen and being in the hospital being brought horrible mac and cheese every night and being woken up for vitals at 2 am and looking at the parking lot from the window and getting wheeled around the floor by the nurses and i miss adolescent residential and playing card games on the floor and lukewarm vanilla ensure in giant plastic cups and graham crackers and chocolate milk and three weekly therapy sessions and always having someone to sit with me when i was panicking and being suicidal but actually meaning it and feeling so held and feeling so insanely sad and listening to marianas trench and i feel like i'm supposed to be happier now because i'm not actively dying of an eating disorder and no one is forcing me into treatment but i feel so much worse because at least then i didn't have to think about the future and i didn't have to care about anything and i had something i was good at that was actually worth it to me and i don't think i should have been told that recovery was worth it because this is not the world that i wanted to recover into and everyone talks about recovery (tm) like it's some big bright sunshine rainbows magical fairy land where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts but the reality is that's a more accurate depiction of how adolescent res felt and having a severe restrictive eating disorder felt like a safety net and a best friend and a purpose and an identity and recovery just feels like loss, loss, grief, missing a part of myself, a huge gaping hole in my life, loss, loss, loss, unimaginable loss.
#tw ed#i think i have seasonal affective disorder. i get insanely depressed in the summer#i'm not like this all the time. i was doing so well but i miss it so much so much so much#aching for a certain window of time that i will never ever be able to get back#also how tf am i supposed to ''go back to normal''. i still feel stuck in early 2020.#i still feel stuck in 2019#i still feel sixteen/seventeen years old#everytime i think about going back to school i can't breathe#peace and love
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Why the hell was I so stressed in seventh grade
#even in like pre COVID seventh grade I thought school was so fucking hard???#i really had zero clue how easy I had it huh#like I’m looking back at my projects from the 2019-2020 school year and it’s like ‘project on hedgehogs 😄’#this is probably how I’ll feel about tenth grade when I’m in college but whatever#SHIT like I was in pre algebra??? SO FCKIN EASY???#I would pay copious amounts of money to have my seventh grade content be taught by my hs teachers with my hs friends
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maybe my earlier outburst was more indicative of my mood
#I want to fucking die that's all#I'm ending my fourth year of studies. in a two-year degree. and I'm still doing first-year subjects.#and I never actually wanted to study in the first place I'm literally only doing it for the money#$366 a fortnight plus the measly five bucks they add on top as 'rental assistance' in a state I don't live in#not that I'm complaining about that mind you $5 is $5#but I can't wait for the moment the cunts realise and bill me for ten times the amount because robodebt hasn't ended it's just#rebranded.#I nearly became the only male in my family over the last few months and honestly it's killing me that I can't be seen as that if it were so#and i know it's selfish to say it because I know people have it far far worse but#genuinely lost any chance of being myself with covid being a thing.#lost any chance at running away I know I have some sort of stockholm syndrome even though ik that was a made-up term#I should've. saved up over 2019. made money with commissions worked myself to the bone with that#since school nearly killed me anyway#what's even changed since 2018! I still spend every day on my bed and get yelled at for I have nowhere else to go#I still get shamed for not eating what my grandmother wants. she still yells at me if I don't eat her cooking.#don't really want to be in the world to be honest.#if I'd just. left at the start of 2020. not taken my flight home that day. left to go somewhere else#I've wanted to run away and leave since I was thirteen for fuck's sake#not that i knew it. but#there's a common theme in my writing and it's the moment the character has to leave home. the start of the hero's journey.#but I don't have a hero's journey I'm not a character I'm a person who can't even. I can't even function half the time#if I'd just left and if I'd just focused on actually being good at things instead of pretending to keep up appearances#I should just let myself die. wouldn't that be better for literally everyone
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Oops - Part Two
Max Verstappen x Female!Vettel!Reader
Summary: Max and Y/N had their relationship outed online and Y/N has been facing some serious backlash. However, Y/N is mainly unphased and proudly posts pictures of her boyfriends while trying to keep her protective father and boyfriend clam. She also gives Lando the green light to post all of the pictures he has of them together. Part One
Warnings: Swearing, people being rude.
A/N: Y/N is adopted, set in 2019/2020, no covid au bc ew no. Face claim is Sabrina Carpenter and the side/back of Kelly Piquet’s head.
DISCLAIMER: I do not know any if the people in this work of fiction. This is purely created for entertainment purposes only!
F1_news
Liked by 3.1 million people
BREAKING! New released picture confirms the rumours about a relationship between Max Verstappen and Y/N Vettel.
Comments
Fanaccount1 Great another spoiled stay at home girlfriend 🙄
Fan_account2 Does she even have a job???
Fanaccount_3xo Good for her!!
Fanaccount4 He's 3 years older than her, how is even this allowed?
Fanaccount_55 Gold digger!!
Y/N_vettel5 posted to their story
Y/N_vettel5
📍Oxford University, Oxford
Liked by 12,575 people
The study life stops for nothing ☕
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Maxverstappen33
Liked by 45,723 people
Since our relationship is public information I thought I would share these pictures of my girlfriend. Y/N is by far the kindest and sweetest person on the planet and I love her. She laughs at all of my jokes and does the most to make me happy. I am proud to call her my girlfriend.
The things that people are saying about her and our relationship is honesty disgusting. Just because I am well known due to my job does not mean that you can publicly talk about my relationship. Anymore horrid comments will not be tolerated.
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Y/N_vettel5
📍Oxford University, Oxford
Liked by 34.794 people
I have known Max for a few years now after spending my school breaks with my papa at the races. We hit is off quite well after spending a lot of 2017/2018 running from the Drive To Survive filming. Since then we grew very close.
He is absolutely the love of my life and the greatest person I know. He has supported me through everything and he is my absolute best friend. He visits me at uni during breaks and always makes an effort for me. And now I can finally share some of my favourite pictures of him.
Ps: Yes, I am definitely the most insufferable person in my uni hall. On the upside, I'm always invited to the Sunday race lunches with the guys 😂😂
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Landonorris
Liked by 37,362 people
Despite everything that has been said surrounding their relationship, Y/N has told me that I could make a post. I'm so glad I can finally share these. Be hold, Mad Max being a softie for his girlfriend! I'm so happy for you guys and I'm glad you don't have to sneak around anymore.
Ps: Rude/mean comments will not be tolerated. Their relationship is nothing to do with anyone but them.
Comments
Y/N_vettel5 I can't believe 2/3 of these pics are of me and Max kissing!
Maxverstappen33 At least we aren't drunk in these ones
Landonorris I forgot about those photos 😈
Y/N _vettel5 Oh sweet Jesus
Danielricardo Ah so the rumours are true! So glad you got a girl Max.
Maxverstappen33 Thanks mate!
Sebastianvettel These are lovely pictures landonorris
Fanaccount At least Lando isn't afraid to have his comments on unlike the 'happy couple'
Fan_account_6 This is PR relationships at their finest!!!!
Charles_leclerc Now Y/N has someone else to steal hats and jackets from now.
Sebastianvettel I still feel like I won't be getting some things back.
Y/N_vettel I have no idea what you are talking about😁
Lewishamilton So happy for you guys!
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#smau#sebastian vettel x daughter!reader
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Do you have a list of good sex ed books to read?
BOY DO I
please bear in mind that some of these books are a little old (10+ years) by research standards now, and that even the newer ones are all flawed in some way. the thing about research on human beings, and especially research on something as nebulous and huge as sex, is that people are Always going to miss something or fail to account for every possible experience, and that's just something that we have to accept in good faith. I think all of these books have something interesting to say, but that doesn't mean any of them are the only book you'll ever need.
related to that: it's been A While since I've read some of these so sorry if anything in them has aged poorly (I don't THINK SO but like, I was not as discerning a reader when I was 19) but I am still including them as books that have been important to my personal journey as a sex educator.
additionally, a caveat that very few of these books are, like, instructional sex ed books in the sense of like "here's how the penis works, here's where the clit is, etc." those books exist and they're great but they're also not very interesting to me; my studies on sex are much more in the social aspect (shout out to my sociology degree) and the way people learn to think about sex and societal factors that shape those trends. these books reflect that. I would genuinely love to have the time to check out some 101 books to see how they fare, but alas - sex ed is not my day job and I don't have the time to dedicate to that, so it happens slowly when it happens at all. I've been meaning to read Dr. Gunter's Vagina Bible since it came out in 2019, for fucks sake.
and finally an acknowledgement that this is a fairly white list, which has as much to do with biases with academia and publishing as my own unchecked biases especially early in my academic career and the limitations of my university library.
ANYWAY here's some books about sex that have been influential/informative to me in one way or another:
The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)
Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (Laura M. Carpenter, 2005)
Virgin: The Untouched History (Hanne Blank, 2007)
Sex Goes to School: Girls and Sex Education Before the 1960s (Susan K. Freeman, 2008)
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (Mary Roach, 2008)
Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)
The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women (Jessica Valenti, 2009)
Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex (Amy T. Schalet, 2011)
Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality (Hanne Blank, 2012)
Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships (Meg-John Barker, 2013)
The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Realities (Rachel Hills, 2015)
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Tranform Your Sex Life (Emily Nagoski, 2015)
Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2015)
Too Hot to Handle: A Global History of Sex Education (Jonathan Zimmerman, 2015)
American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus (Lisa Wade, 2017)
Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, 2018)
Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers' Rights (Juno Mac and Molly Smith, 2018)
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen, 2020)
Pleasure in the News: African American Readership and Sexuality in the Black Press (Kim Gallon, 2020)
A Curious History of Sex (Kate Lister, 2020)
Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity (Peggy Orenstein, 2020)
Black Women, Black Love: America's War on Africa American Marriage (Dianne M. Stewart, 2020)
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (Jane Ward, 2020)
Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021)
Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs (Ina Park, 2021)
The Right to Sex: Feminist in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021)
Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021)
Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023)
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Master List of X-Men Fic Recs - Part 2
Jealous!Erik/Charles +Others Kid or Young Cherik Kinkmeme Dirtybad Fics Life at Xavier's School Long Fic (>100k) Love at First Sight Major Character Death (Charles or Erik) Part 1 Major Character Death (Charles or Erik) Part 2 Mansion Fic Meeting as Kids / Growing Up Together Mob AUs Mpreg Charles Part 1 Mpreg Charles Part 2 Mpreg Erik Nina Lives Obsessive/Possessive Erik Part 1 Obsessive/Possessive Erik Part 2 Old!Cherik Older Charles/Younger Erik Part 1 Older Charles/Younger Erik Part 2 Outside POV Period AUs (i.e. P&P, Jane Eyre) Polyamory Porn Star AUs Post Beach + Happy Ending Post Dark Phoenix Post Solitary Confinement Post XMA Part 1 Post XMA Part 2 Prison AUs Prostitute!Charles Prostitute!Erik Public Sex Royalty AUs Rule 63 Girl!Charles Secret or Forbidden Relationships Serial Killer AUs Sex Addiction AUs Smitten Charles Space AUs Part 1 Space AUs Part 2 Spy AUs Part 1 Spy AUs Part 2 Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby AUs Part 1 Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby AUs Part 2 Tentacle Porn Time Travel Part 1 Time Travel Part 2 Time Travel Part 3 Top 5 Canon + Top 5 AU Fics Underage Charles Vampire AUs XMFC Fix-It (Erik stays)
OTHER PAIRINGS Charles/Kurt Marko + Charles/Older Men Cherigan (Charles/Erik/Logan) Shaw/Charles Shaw/Erik Xavierine Hurt/Comfort Xavierine Master Rec List Xavierine Master Rec List Addendum
FAVORITES BY YEAR Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2023 Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2022 Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2021 Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2020 Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2019
Click Here for Master List of Fic Recs - Part 1
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Transcript below the cut.
instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble
Panel 1: For the second year in a row, Gender Queer was the most challenged book in the US, reported the American Library Association.
Panel 2: It’s been a weird two years. Number of unique titles challenged in the US by year. 2000: 378 titles. 2005: 259 titles. 2010: 262 titles. 2015: 190 titles. 2020: 223 titles. 2021: 1858 titles. 2022: 2571 titles.
Panel 3: It’s been a hard two years. The ACLU is tracking 469 anti-LGBTQ bills in the US.
Panel 4: Usually I prefer to wait until something is over before I write about it, so I have time to reflect. But this experience has not ended.
Panel 5: It has only gotten louder. (A series of screen shoots of news headlines about Gender Queer, book challenges and an obscenity lawsuit against the book being dismissed in the state of Virginia).
Panel 6: I’m constantly wondering, “When should I speak and when should I let the book speak for itself?”
Panel 7: I remember when I realized that the previous most challenged book spent five years in the top five.
2020- Melissa by Alex Gino at #1 2019- Melissa by Alex Gino at #1 2018- Melissa by Alex Gino at #1 2017- Melissa by Alex Gino at #5 2016- Melissa by Alex Gino at #3
Panel 8: Oh, I think I can take my time figuring out how to respond. I think I’m in this for the long haul...
Panel 9: Ways to support libraries and challenged authors: Check out and read challenged books. Vote for and attend library board and school board meetings. Report censorship to the ALA and PEN America. Vote to fund libraries. Speak up against legislation limiting the teaching of queer history, sex ed, abortion and the history of racism in the US.
Panel 10: Most challenged books of 2022:
1. Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe
2. All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M Johnson
3. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
4. Flamer by Mike Curato
5. (tie) Looking For Alaska by John Green
5. (tie) The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
7. Lawn Boy by Jonathan Evison
8. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
9. Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez
10. (tie) A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas
10. (tie) Crank by Ellen Hopkins
10. (tie) Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews
10. (tie) This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson
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