#2018 Splinter is a sneaky ninja

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https://twitter.com/zipzaizen/status/1727885362025119930

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I love your tags

If you really think about it, TMNT is all Hamato Yoshi's fault.

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In honor of my state legalizing cannabis, I'm going to post a long scene from the Rise/Bay crossover RP turned fic I've been writing with @remmushound for years. The Bayverse Turtles are nicknamed while the Rise Turtles are fullnamed. They're all a little older and wiser. This includes Baron Draxum, who takes edibles for the first time with the experienced Bay boys while the Rise kids are napping.

Should I put the scene on Tumblr under a cut, or in AO3 as its own scrap?

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@remmushound

I gotta say, comparing the dialogue between Bayverse Splinter and Rise Splinter is interesting enough, as they are both Thoroughly Modern Mutant Rats, but Yoshi having been Lou Jitsu gives writers so much freedom to write him full of Western slang, as opposed to 2012 Splinter, who was much more formal. Bay Splinter started out kind of in between and I still compare him directly to 2003. But he's really a modern dad.

Rise Splinter now living in Bay Mikey's head feels like someone's Oldhead Surfer Dad hanging out with his kids' older friends, kicking back over bongs and beer with barbecue.

Bay Splinter in our Leatherhead RP is sassy, snarky, With It, updated, willing to go along with Mikey's shenanigans, and full of harsh lessons and soft landings. Let's say he kicks back with Raph to get stoned and watch soap operas.

And now they have a pet alligator!

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Idea for Yoshi: he’s living in a state where he is back in his early years of mutation, so while he still recognizes he has sons and recalls the events pre-mutation, he doesn’t Always recognize the turtles as being his sons because they’re so much older. Most of the time his wandering is connected to him trying to find his way back to his home (the early stages of the sewer before the lair was developed) and panicking trying to find where his little turtles are.

Oh...my sweet Yoshi. He's so full of heavy things.

Damn Ant and Andy for creating a Splinter with even more trauma for the fandom to play with.

Oh, imagine Mikey and Michelangelo having a therapy session with him. Now I'm sad!

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Well, he does write dramatic fanfiction about his own film character. Makes sense he'd insert his family in a crossover.

It’s so funny how Splinter imagines rescuing his son from the Foot Clan

Like Raph & Mikey are the only ones who are acting kind of normal in this frame with Mikey looking kind of uncomfortable & Raph looking sad at being captured.

Meanwhile Splinter is imagining Donnie curled into a ball & Leo doing a dramatic damsel in distress pose

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Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Eric Bauza on Splinter's New Style

"I would say he’s a mixture of Mr. Miyagi and Danny DeVito. ::laughs:: And if that rat were to exist, he went to college with Yoda."

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I'd been reading a blog thread on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and it reminded me of what the Rise Of The TMNT showrunners said about Rise Splinter and why people shouldn't hate him. He was one of the most fascinating characters with secret pasts I've seen in ages. Those who hated his reboot didn't want to wait for his reveal arc that explained why he was introduced like That.

Also, here is an interesting review that I partially agree with. Posting this after the show has been cancelled feels strange.

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The Path | TMNTPedia | Fandom

Anyway, this issue was such a huge part of why the relationship between Mikey and Splinter never felt truly genuine for me. Because even sweet 2003 Splinter would say this to Mikey, probably without even realizing how it might affect him, because Mikey is so different, so out of the box there never even was a box, so... divergent... that his Sensei wouldn't really be able to understand him or understand how his Chi flowed.

Mikey, the character from day one having undiagnosed ADHD especially in an era where neurodiversity was mostly unheard of. The therapeutic artist, the creative wild card, the empath, the eccentric sensitive one desperate to fit into society but who cannot remove the mask not just figuratively but literally and physically, who from the very beginning was a representation without meaning to be.

Sure, Splinter might also call Mike the most beautiful yet delicate flower but it doesn't help that it feels like a backhanded compliment. I've always had issues with Mirage Splinter anyway. This is why Rise Splinter is the best.

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"But on his way, he stops dead in his tracks, second guessing his actions before yelling out at this tragic turn of events, unable to decide what to do next. Seeing a sewer rat, Mikey recalls a talk he recently had with Master Splinter. The latter said he foresaw dark events about to unfold in his life, and believed a certain weakness in his son might spell his doom. He asks the turtle to be more hardened like his brothers, to put his emotions aside and do what needs to be done without hesitation. On the other hand, he tells his son there's invaluable purity within him, and asks him to safeguard it despite his path as a warrior.

The scene cuts back to the river, where Tomas is still holding the dying Klunk. Mikey gets back with a a cat in his arms. He tells Tomas it's a stray living in his alley, & tries to justify sacrificing it by saying “nobody loves it.” However, the young turtle recoils in shame at his own words. Admitting he cannot go through with it, he tells the old man to let the stray go and cancel the ritual. Mikey tearfully apologizes to Klunk, holding him to his chest in his final moments and bidding his friend farewell. As the turtle left, Tomas remarks the stray’s life was not comparable to Klunk’s.

Back home, Mikey requests a talk with his master. In shame and sadness, he admits failing to walk the path of a warrior as he was told to, and that his inability to unflinchingly make a hard choice cost him a friend. However, much to his surprise, Splinter compares his son to a riverbank lily, the most beautiful, yet delicate of all flowers. He even admits he could learn something from Michael-Angelo, who walks two different paths. The other turtles arrive and ask their brother to follow them to the alley. There, he sees the stray cat he spared gave birth to a litter of kittens, revealed to be Klunk’s via a DNA test Donatello performed. Mikey teases Donny over the kittens' obvious resemblance to their father, and adopts one in memory of Klunk."

-from the fandom page summary.

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What about face blind Splinter, who has to dress his kids in different colours so he can tell them apart?

*snort* BRILLIANT. That's going in the fanfic. Yes. I love that.

It could help explain his insistence on calling Leo "Baby Blue" - and in fact, his Captain Cuddle Cakes expression of adoration* in "Down With The Sickness" proves how much Leo sees how hard Splints has worked to know them.

(*I keep seeing fans still not realize how "no no, I'm your least favorite" was pure sarcasm and the equivalent of "I love you but you're sick, go away, don't touch mee")

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Just wrote this on the official TMNT Facebook page in response to a complaint.

"Fine, I'll play.

It's not the TMNT we grew up with, nor should it be. It's RISE OF for a reason. This Splinter is very different from the other versions because he didn't embrace his ninja heritage and instead spent his human years as an action film star. He retired and chose to raise his sons as children instead of warriors, giving them a choice. He recently learned of the Foot Clan's plan to bring The Shredder back and is now back in his training, arthritis and all.

It's also a spoof and homage. Mirage was a spoof and homage on its own. Do you not know the history at all? The entire franchise is a parody. TMNT pushed independent comics into the spotlight by spoofing the Frank Miller era books like Daredevil. In fact, Daredevil began the turtles' career."

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Guys, I've found Rise Splinter.

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I had to decide if it was an Autistic special interest or an ADHD hyperfixation, but after years of loving the Teen Titans Go episode arc 'The Night Begins To Shine' to the point where I quote dialogue with ease, sing the songs without messing up, and cheer whenever the episodes air, I would call it hyperfixation. Also, the Night Begins To Shine original song is my ringtone. I would have used the Fall Out Boy version but it's not strong enough at the start to alert me.

...you know what? Teen Titans Go may be a trash fire, but it's full of gold. It's a silly, ridiculous, sometimes fun full on parody of the first Teen Titans cartoon. And it's really fun to quote. Come at me. Besides, I prefer the comics. Raven is very autistic and I adore her.

I think when Rise of the TMNT premiered, especially the designs, too many fans compared the two, calling it TMNT Go and projected a fear of real change. But Rise isn't a parody, it's an homage, it's a completely new kind of Ninja Turtles, literally Creator Approved Fanfiction. How can you argue with that when there are a million fan art and fan stories online?

The designs are odd, but you know what, so is Invader Zim and Samurai Jack. Fans of 2003 are on Facebook whining that 2003 is Real Art compared to Rise, and it makes me laugh. Yes, some of the fan art is beautifully better, but... you know what, this is a tired old fight that's existed since the late 80s.

At this point, the detractors commenting on the official Facebook page are repetitive, trollish, boring, and probably sock puppet accounts. They literally cannot come up with more than "Rise sucks, Rise is Not Good, Rise should be cancelled" and I want to smack them all until they learn to troll politely.

Now, I'm going to find a mash up of Night Begins To Shine and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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Welp, it's sad hours.

I don’t think that Splinter used his movies to teach his sons ninjitsu because he was lazy, or least not completely lazy (he was probably suffering from depression and burnout at that time too which is probably why he was lazy with the boys, but that’s a headcanon for another time), but to make it fun.

Splinter was raised to be a warrior, a tool to be used by his family. So I don’t think that he liked ninjitsu or training when he was young. He probably hated it. Only finally finding pride and enjoyment in it when it became a boon to his acting career. After all, he takes both great joy and pride in his time as an actor.

When his sons started to take a liking to ninjitsu (probably after showing them some of his movies), he decided to use his movies as a way to train his sons. That’s because kids enjoy acting out their favorite movies and copying what the actors do. Its fun for them. So the turtles acting out Splinter’s movies is fun for them. Which is evident through out the series, because even though they were teens they still liked to copy Lou Jitsu.

Splinter didn’t want his sons to be miserable when training in ninjitsu like he was. He wanted them to be able to do what he could not, just be kids. So he made training fun by having them copy the ninjitsu moves from his movies.

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Oh, Splinter

I wanna hug him. Poor old man with his PTSD.

Also, hey fandom, we were right we were right we were right.

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I put this on Facebook to show my patient amused friends. Might put it on Instagram if I remember to log in.

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This week, on "Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles": Origin stories are told, and the TMNT fandom collectively cheers and swoons as Andy proved our predictions and headcanons correct, and Splinter turns out to be awesome. Plus, there was a musical number spoofing Gilbert And Sullivan. Plus we made homophobic assholes whine.

Now to wait happily for the further former adventures of 'Lou Jitsu' as he flashes back to his relationship with Baron Draxum* - and after Draxum mutates four baby turtles Lou fights him and files for divorce and runs away with the babies and becomes Splinter and probably reveals that his birth name is Hamato Yoshi.

(*In one of Nickelodeon's offices there is an Official Art of Splinter and Draxum snuggling and that's canon you guys. And there was the way Draxum looked at Lou with his Tight Abs.

We dare the haters to give a heterosexual explanation. It's legit.)

(Besides, lots of fans have established headcanons that Leo is Ace and Don is Bi and Mikey is Pan and Raph is Demi, and have you seen how they sit down, it's ridiculous, we can't ever sit straight. And also Mikey is confirmed ADHD but I and a few other ND fans feel he is also autistic because he does Raptor Hands and Perching With Knees Up, oh my gods protect him.)

I want haters to leave the show alone so it can continue to be precious, visually stunning, hilarious, action-packed, joyously dramatic, fluff-angst with raw potential, full of memes and references, and most of all the spiritual successor to Mirage and 2003. And I want Soft Mikey to win Battle Nexus again. And I want Leo to be a puntastic memeful inclusive loving leader in the coming seasons. And I want Donnie to get even more sassy. And I want Raph to be more aggressively protective while making sure his teddy bears are kept safe.

And I want April and Mikey to play dress up.

If and when Casey shows up he will automatically be utterly magnificent.

If and when Shredder shows up I will automatically explode.

Fuuuck, I just love them. The designs no longer feel odd, the animation is extraordinarily unique, the voices feel perfect, everyone is settling into their personalities and behaviors beautifully, there are homages to other versions everywhere, everything reflects reverent love for Kevin and Peter, there is an entire universe of ideas and creativity here. And we know that the cast and crew is having the best time.

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Watch "Kotomi ft Ryan Elder Don't Look Back Lyrics Video Rick and morty season 4 finale song" on YouTube

This just aired on Cartoon Network again and I never fail to get teary-eyed, same with the Chaos Chaos song. It's a great fanfic soundtrack.

And I just happen to be writing severe angst in my current fic. It's like being punched in the face by the embodiment of Whump.

Successful, obviously.

@remmushound you're definitely encouraging my evil side. The angst is overwhelming. Thank you.