#2014 was first spn con year

[museenkuss]

Sorry if you've already answered this but bro can I ask wtf happened to shipping and incest? Like I have been around in fandoms for a long time now and I swear the change between shipping siblings and it being what helps dictate you are vile human happened like whiplash for me. One moment it was fine and another moment you were getting death threats for daring to treat Loki and Thor as more than siblings even though the mcu fandom was sorta chill with it for years. I'm not saying EVERYONE was ok with shipping siblings (like no one should judge you for that lol) but it WAS tolerated for a long time. What happened??? I felt like purity culture sneak up on me. Now shipping incest gets thrown in with 'wrong things that help show you are a bad person' such as a being pedo (no one is defending that hopefully...). I suppose I'm not trying ask if it's moral or not (it's shipping), but more so what the fuck happened and if I should feel guilty and bad about enjoying those types of ships?? Are they truly in the same line as liking gross pedo ships?? Apologies for if this ask stirs trouble, I am just genuinely confused about what happened and why the tolerance for those ships dropped so low and you get called a demon for doing so (everyone knows incest is bad, no one was ever agreeing it wasn't but none of it was real. It was just literally fun...)

You're really summarising some of my own thoughts and questions on the matter. Honestly, I wasn't actively involved in fandom back in 2013 or so, but I recently noticed that same change as well! For example, for the longest time I wasn't even aware that people were opposed to the Thor&Loki ship based on the incest factor and the most contact I had with wincest at the time was a gif set where apparently someone asked JP during a con what he thought of it and he said "I don't think they think it's real, it's just a hot fantasy" - I remember that post so vividly because I saw it and went "yeah, makes sense" and went back to my 2014 posting. In 2020, my first introduction to the spn fandom was a BLOCK LIST with blogs who post wincest content. A BLOCK LIST?! that was so absurd and laughable and honestly made me feel so bad about fandom in general. So, yeah. I definitely agree with you, there has been a huge shift in fandom culture as to what is seen as "approptiate shipping behaviour".

Firstly: I do of course understand why people might be uncomfortable with the topic. I understand that it can be triggering, too. This makes this topic a complicated and layered one, but I don't think it means we should erase the theme from all pieces of fiction. I also don't think making others feel miserable, sending death threads or other witch hunts of the sort to strangers on the internet is justified in ANY way. Now as for your questions —

What happened? Honestly, no idea. I wonder if it's a side effect of websites being made more and more "kid friendly", banning nudity and swear words and all that to appeal to advertisers. Maybe the kids being raised in this environment adopt those mind sets? I'm not sure.

Should you feel guilty for enjoying those kinds of ships? Absolutely not. Incest can be a very interesting trope for many reasons - it can be used in gothic settings, it can be used as a "forbidden love" trope, etc. Some people make it a point to say that they like it but ONLY if those stories are dark and evil and metaphors for abuse etc, they're not like those nasty creatures who think it's "hot". But, honestly, I always get back to JP and his nonchalant reaction. "It's a hot fantasy", and voilà. I don't like it when people insist on feeling shame or - even worse - making others feel shame for meaningless things like that.

Which brings me to the idea that enjoying incest ships (for whatever reason, be it because the relationship is intricate, rotten and terrible or because it'd be hot) makes you a bad person - that's ridiculous. "Incest harms real people", yes. So does murder. I hope we're not using this logic to hunt down everyone who likes fictional murderers. Enjoying a specific dynamic in fiction does not mean you would encourage this behaviour in real life. It also doesn't mean you'd put anyone in real life in danger or hurt them. It means you enjoy this specific dynamic for one reason or another, that's all. So please, don't make yourself feel miserable for something like this.

There is also the fact that incest porn (as in, real porn where real people are filmed acting out fantasies for other people to get off to) is so incredibly popular. In the logic of the purity culture fandom people (who seem to ignore this fact and focus on random people drawing or writing about fictional people btw), this would mean that many, MANY men (who those videos are usually aimed at) secretly want to fuck their siblings, step mothers, etc. I sincerely doubt that that's the case. Instead, I think it's a sign that sexuality is very complex and we can't just narrow it down to "you think this is hot = you're evil rotten and morally corrupted"

I also have to bring up one last point: This shift in culture is not limited to fandom, although fandom people seem to be extremely loud and ruthless about this with their witch hunts. I've seen people act this way about Lolita by Nabokov and other pieces of literature, for example. Frankly, it's embarrassing to see. It's sad, too. Can people not interact with fiction anymore? Not every piece of fiction is meant as a moral indicator, we aren't 10 anymore and not every piece of art has to be Dr Seuss or Aesop.

This got very long and I don't want to get too off track, so to sum up: I don't think you should feel guilty for enjoying incest ships or themes in fiction. Really, that's your personal business and not anyone else's - and I mean that in a positive way.

I hope we as a culture grow out of this phase soon and we can all go back to having a relaxed, healthy approach to shipping/fandom/literature/art by avoiding what we dislike and focusing on what we enjoy.

[angelcatsiel]

does anyone else just like associate each year of their life with like, one big event or defining factor? like when someone says 2020 I’ll obviously think ‘oh yeah, pandemic year’ but if someone says 2019 I’m like ‘ah yes, house year. Year I got a house’. 2018 was moving out year, 2017 was the wild sex year, 2016 for me was Germany year

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[winjennster]

In case you didn't know, this gif is 7 years old today. It happened at DCcon on May 3, 2014. It was my very first spn con. Ao3 user ANobleCompanion asked misha to do this and the rest is fandom history.

[whengeorgiawentblue]

I remember back in the day like in 2014-16 when I started watching spn i tried so hard to like Jared but like I just never really idk thought something was off about him, and to hear all these things happen atm with him and come out of the woodwork now is just like yeah confirms it for me. Idk I never really got why people liked Jared in the first place and I also never really got how Jensen and Jared were friends originally in the first place (perhaps because they were working together 1/?

I'm starting to watch the show now (season 2 at this moment) and I really like Sam a lot. So I think it's more the fact that people usually associates the character with the actor. If I hadn't known anything about Jared's past and current questionable behaviour I would have also probably associate Sam with Jared's real persona, and it would have been much harder to me to acknowledge all the shitty things Jared has done in the past. Of course this real actor/fictional character association happens in every fandom. But in this case, Sam is so sweet and kind and that it makes a far starker contrast with the real life Jared.

I also think Jensen and Jared were good friends. Yeah, there were plenty of "brothers for life" PR but still their friendship seemed legit. But their friendship has deteriorated over the years, Jensen has grown up and maturated and he has realized how annoying and self-centered is Jared, and he probably wants to keep Jared as an acquaintance for future cons, ocassional works together and social media, but nothing as deep as a lifelong friendship.

[spnsmile]

Hi ! I'm pretty new to this fandom so it's possible I've missed a lot of things Jensen has said about Destiel and I don't know what it was like to have that denial over the years, but could it be that he was never against the idea and just didn't want to give us unnecessary hope? I'm thinking especially of the time he went into the writers room for the Fanfiction episode, could that have been to ask "why are you acknowledging this if not to make it true afterwards?"

So hi! First off welcome to the chaotic family, I hope you are enjoying yourself with all the weird post-spn stuff! It's crazy but it's fun!

To the best of my assumption, the straight answer to your inquiry is no, Jensen really never believed it until 15x18, and that Misha is every bit responsible for this "momentous event".

Undercut are GIF and links from con as evidences.

P. Sif you are a wince* fan and tripping with me well, it's still a win you'll see.

I have to make a disclaimer that in no way anyone should take my word for it. Parasocializing is not uncommon. At best it is considered healthy but it doesn't fill the gap of what is real; evidences help to make assumptions but they can be overwhelming, even blinding.

Fair warning this isn't a happy place for Destiel folks (even I was affected again)

1. I've missed a lot of things Jensen has said about Destiel and I don't know what it was like to have that denial over the years, but could it be that he was never against the idea and just didn't want to give us unnecessary hope?

Nope. Zero hope here. Doesn't exist in his mind (and not on the scripts) 2017 Panel

No hope for gay, Dean is straight, end of discussion (no more talk about being homophobic, the guy killed it on cowboy butt) BUT this is about a character he really always thought as straight (possibly because the script has Dean try a family with Lisa and Ben) Bi Dean? Totally killed it too. He wasn't denying. It doesn't exist way back back and he wasn't kind about it.

2. I'm thinking especially of the time he went into the writers room for the Fanfiction episode, could that have been to ask "why are you acknowledging this if not to make it true afterwards?".

Still zero even after 200th episode (Panel 2015)

I remember that. He wants to understand why the writers were doing it (they said it was a thank you to the fans but I'll be) The writers didn't have to face a large convention audience and if you ask me the script for 200 was mehh (mine). This "acknowledgement" was sure to backfire and he was right as Destiel/Casdean/Samstiel exised there.

Poor guy didn't know how to deal with our passion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (panel 2014) (and no Misha! (indignant))

Kindred spirit he said (x) that's still deep

Still adamant of its existence since no foolproof word on the script (panel 2019)

It was hard to be a destiel fan without getting swept under the carpet like we're some sort of disease. Destiel was always flagged by nonshippers, imagine? But its not like one too many comment from Jackles can stop people's creativity 🙌

Overall, from 2008 to 2019, Jackles was half hearted about Destiel and without intervention, he could've really frustrated the fans further. So what happened that made him "tread lightly with our feels"*

Dmitri: I'll have words with Jensen later

Misha Collins was a powerful force for Destiel. Believe it or not, we owe it all to him. How do you combine being intelligent and considerate, Mish?

Note also Misha said they had to ask for Jensen's permission on 15x18 confession (out of respect andJackles gave the go signal) End result? Jackles overly excited for the hand print and many other Destiel stuff in secret which you already saw here too (he knows)

in conclusion, however it made Jensen feel, Misha was there to keep him objective in the end (which mustve been both a funny and excruciating experience for the two and also, well... Who really knows?)

[theplanetprince]

Fanfiction Review

I can already tell this is gonna be super confusing bc I've been writing fic since I was 12 but have since gone through so many identity changes. But let's play anyway!

Thanks for the tag @redead-red

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

My current library is 8. I don't actually write fanfic too often unless a specific idea intrigues me-- or something in the fanon just doesn't line up with me. I do have at least 4ish more stories planned and maybe a revised version of an ancient story from when I was young. 2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

166,451! Pretty neato!

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Uh, in no specific order,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (lost to purging)

Doctor Who (you ain't gonna find these)

Sonic

NiGHTs into Dreams

Dead by Daylight (<3)

Danny Phantom (my beloathed) Supernatural (my other beloathed)

and uhhhh, I think a bunch of various other video games I can't remember. For the sake of brevity I'm gonna put the rest under the cut.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is actually pretty funny bc I have so few fics released. I only get emails for certain ones all the time, so I wrote this part out by guessing, but I ended up not needing to change it. (also, don't read most of these; they're old and bad)

1. Schrodinger's Adolescent, 337 Kudos (Danny Phantom)

2. Teen Years and How to Survive Them, 97 Kudos (Secret Trio)

3. Two Fake Feds Come up the Laneway the other dayyyyyy, 56 Kudos (Letterkenny/Supernatural)

4. Brother's Keeper, 40 Kudos (Halloween, DBD)

5. Beginner's Guide to Destroying the Moon, 37 Kudos (Sonic)

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

I'll be real here, I still enjoy most of the work I did for both Beach House Bummer, and Beginner's Guide to Destroying the Moon. I just wish I got more love for the latter bc I might be inspired to finish it lmao.

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love the long rambly comments I get on Schrodinger's because I can feel those people are giving me the same passion I put into my work-- Though most of the time I get the generic "post more" or "update plz" which I dunno I'm grateful for the interaction. Still, I don't really want to repeat like "I'm trying my best, dude." about 12 times a day.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I'll be real I only have two completed fics rn-- but I can tell you I had this one fic that I wrote when I was fourteen where the ninja turtles had to burn down a lab full of half-born mutant embryos, and like I remember writing that and then going to middle school the next day like "They don't know I'm a literary genius."

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Probably the Letterkenny/Supernatural crossover-- I feel very strongly about SPN and how people take it way too seriously, so when I found out it was filmed in Canada. It used famous Canadian actors from the show Letterkenny, it felt way too good to pass up. I do hope to write in that space again when I'm feeling less depresso-espresso.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah. It's probably a big reason why you'll never see the tmnt fics for a while. I also used to write a lot of OC stories, and this was back in 2014 so like those were def hit the hardest. I'm glad to say it's like... subsided for the most part. I don't get hate as much as I just get really confusing and creepy comments, which don't hurt my rejection-sensitive-ass as much.

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hahahaha, no.

I am kind of bad at writing it, and I don't really like writing it. Which yeah that makes sense. My friends sometimes when they find out I write fanfic as a joke they'll send me some of the worst examples smut they can find and to test my talent I'll try to rewrite it to make it some kind of titillating-- but alas it just isn't my forte. The cons of being an asexual I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Uh, yes and no? I think I had one of my older fics stolen, retranslated, and then retranslated again to English? That was so long ago tho.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd love to give it a shot sometime.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, it's sonadow. I know it's cringe but I'm free, dammit. Outside of that I guess my favorite dynamic is jock/nerd, which you've probably gleaned from my resume here fhsdkjf.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've been working on Teen Years and How to Survive them since I was 16, I only started making headway on it when I was 19-- so I feel like that speaks for itself hskjhg.

15. What are your writing strengths?

It's been told to me that I'm very funny and I write convincing dialog that captures a character's voice. Which is extremely flattering despite the fact that I feel like I'm tricking you all.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably scenery and landscape, if I'm honest. I also accidentally keep creating scenes just for the dialog instead of action or environment.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think as long as I can guess what they're saying from context clues, and the writer is courteous enough to include body language and the like, then it's mostly harmless. I love including a bunch of references in fic whether it's cultural, historical, or just like a quote from a movie or something so I have a bunch of tabs open regardless it wouldn't be too inconvenient for me to fire up google translate or something.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Schrodinger's Adolescent, it really opened up a lot of doors for me in the DP fandom and I got to meet a lot of cool people because of it. It really cheered me up from a dark place. And despite me writing it initially out of anger and spite its grown into this soft thing that really means a lot to me.

20. What fic are you most proud of?

Honestly, I can't pick. I'm both embarrassed by them all and yet glad they bring people some form of comfort.

Uhhhh who to tag-- I don't really know

@ten0rreaper is the only one I can think of-- whoever else I guess can have at it. I'm not very good at these things lmao.

[jensensitive]

I'm fairly new to the SPN family (and in turn new to J2M, con moments, everything). I was wondering if you could do like a top 5 Cockles moments thing (which you may have already done, my apologies if you have!)

this is the kind of thing I try to figure out a lot and really struggle with lol, to actually rank a top five, there’s just so much yknow. But I had an idea about how to answer this instead, I’ll name the first cockles thing that I think of for each year. That I can actually do. They might not even be my favorite of that year, but just the first thing I think of.

2009-- the first cockles ring

2010--the “blow me cas” blooper

2011-- “fancy meeting you here”

2012-- Misha kissing this doll while looking at Jensen lmao

2013-- resume off pt 2, just the whole thing

2014-- misha leaning all over jensen to not even be in a selfie

2015-- boat trip

2016-- hallway video

2017-- jensen telling misha off mic misha will see his underwear later (eternally grateful for the anon that first pointed this out)

2018-- misha playing with jensen’s tie ;__; (and also them playing this game)

2019-- all of the selfies (and the plane picture too okay)

2020-- this report about hugs +

:)))

[archivingspn]

SPN���s Main Theme

Scripts

• 2004-Pitch • 2005- Production Draft Pilot • 2005- An overview of the first five episodes of season one. • 2006-early Pilot Draft from DVD extra on Supernatural season 1 box set  based on original pitch • 2019: Twitter - Feb Kripke original Pitch • 2020: CBR.com - Nov 22 Pilot tone

Cons

• 2010: Vancon J2 - Jensen • 2013: Comic Con - Eric Kripke • 2015: Jibcon Saturday - Jensen • 2015: SDCC Press Room - Andrew Dabb • 2018: SPNUK - J2 afternoon • 2018: Chicon - J2 gold • 2019: SDCC - (for season 15) • 2019: DCcon - Jensen gold (for season 15) • 2020: PaleyFest NY SPN - J2MA, Dabb, Singer (15x20)

Articles/Interviews

• 2005: USA Today - Kripke, Singer • 2005: Los Angeles Times - Kripke, Jensen • 2006: TV Guide - Oct- Kripke • 2006: Sequential Tart- Gamble • 2007: TV Guide- Feb - Kripke • 2007: The Daily Telegraph -Mar- Kripke • 2007: TV Guide- July - Kripke • 2008: TV.com - Kripke • 2008: Starpulse -Feb- Kripke • 2008: Eclipse Magazine - Kripke (s3) • 2008: Morgan’s Maniacs - Humphris • 2008: Channel Ten - Kripke • 2008: The Star Online -Sep- Jensen • 2009: GIZMODO- Gamble • 2009: Chicago Tribune - Kripke • 2010: Supernatural: The Official Season 4 Companion- Kripke • 2010: WarnerBros - Warner Bros, Singer • 2010: TVGuide - TV guide, Sgriccia, Gamble • 2011: The New York Times - NYT • 2011: TVGuide - J2M • 2011: TV Squad - Edlund • 2011: The Backlot - Misha (neither confirms nor denies interviewers thoughts) • 2012: IGN - Carver (s8) • 2013: Supernatural Turkey - Jim Michaels • 2013: Larry King Now- Collins • 2014: New York Times- J2M • 2014: Variety- J2M2 Kripke, Gamble, Singer, Carver • 2016: EW- J2M2, Singer, Dabb, Pedowitz • 2016: EW- Dabb and Singer • 2017: EW - Dabb (for season 12) • 2017: EW - Various • 2017: EW - Singer, Dabb, Ackles • 2018: EW - Jensen, Jared • 2018: LA Times - Kripke • 2019: Nerds and Beyond - Robbie • 2019: Variety - Peter Roth, Mark Pedowitz • 2019: Hollywood News Source - Buckner (for season 15) • 2019: Hollywood News Source - Eugenie (for season 15) • 2019: Fangasm -Aug 2- Kripke • 2019: Variety -Aug 4- J2M, Singer, Dabb (for season 15) • 2019: Winchester Family Business - Thompson • 2019: MarySue interview - Dabb (for season 15) • 2020: Variety - Dabb (for season 15) • 2020: TV Guide News - J2MA • 2020: EW - Singer • 2020: Variety - Misha • 2020: CBR.com- Kripke • 2020: Next|TV - Next|TV • 2020: EW - Nov 17- EW • 2020: Looper - Kripke • 2020: CBR.com - Nov 22 - Kripke • 2021: London Screenwriters’ Festival - Kripke • 2021: TV Guide - TV Guide • 2021: TVLine - Jared

Social Media

• 2013: Twitter - Oct? (Adam Glass) • 2014: Twitter - Sept (Adam Glass) • 2015: Twitter - Nov (Kripke) • 2017: Twitter - June (Kripke) • 2020: Twitter - Nov 19 (Kripke) • 2020: Twitter - Nov (Dabb)

Misc.

• 2013: Season 8 DVD Extra “Angel Warrior: The Story of Castiel” - Carver, Edlund Sgriccia, Dabb, Glass, Singer, J2M2 • 2014: A Very Special Supernatural Special - Kripke, Carver, Singer, J2M2 • 2014: The Essential Supernatural: On the Road with Sam and Dean Winchester - Nicholas Knight, Kripke, Jared • 2015: The Must List: Ranking the Best in 25 Years of Pop Culture - Editors of EW

[clairvoyantsam]

When dreams come true ft Jared Padalecki - 4th year anniversary

Rome, May 19th 2016 ... The day the ultimate dream came true! Some of you may remember I bumpted into Jared (or in fact, JARED bumpted into ME) while out and about in Rome that day, a few of my friends know all the details too, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here exactly how and under what impossible circumstances this happened. So ... story time! (& stuff about jib5,6,7)

                                               BACKGROUND

This wasn’t the first time I met Jared, I had met him before at JIBCon5 in 2014, so this was my second time (I was supposed to see him at JIBCon6 in 2015 too which I attended as well but you guys know what happened that year). 

He was lovely that first time, I told him it was my first Supernatural convention and he gave me a warm welcome, made the entire experience so wonderful for me, during the photo ops, the autograph session (where I gave him a scrapbook with messages from fans I had been in contact with) and the panel question I asked him (I completed one of his sentences which was actually a Sam Winchester quote from SPN and it made both of us and the entire audience laugh xD - I have a photo of me somewhere from that moment and I haven’t seen myself smile so widely ever!). Anyway, like I said, the first convention was fantastic, a beautiful and most memorable experience (despite the fact that Jared had a misfortune that time too since he broke his arm and missed one of his panels as a consequence).

The second convention while it had its moments, it sat (and still sits to be honest) heavy in my heart because I was constantly worried about Jared’s wellbeing and everyone including me was heartbroken. The rest of the cast did everything they could to keep us all entertained, they truly did but there was a dark cloud over our heads that couldn’t be ignored. The first thing we talked about with Jensen at his meet and greet (because of  Jared’s absence, I was given the opportunity to be in that M&G, sitting right across from him and Robert Singer who was present at the con as well). Jensen was genuinely worried, he surely put on a brave face but whenever Jared was mentioned, he’d get emotional. While I asked show-related questions at the M&G, I wasn’t sure what to ask Jensen or tell him when I got his autograph and then I thought of the simplest thing: “So, I may be really sad about the empty spot next to you (Jared’s spot on the poster Jensen was signing for me) but I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the fact that you’re such a supportive and caring friend towards Jared. Everyone deserves a friend like you to have their back.” Then he took my hand, shook it, looked me right in the eye, put a hand on his heart and told me a sincere “Thank You”. Frankly, I loved Jensen even more at JIB6, he showed both a brave and vulnerable side and he tried so hard to give everyone a great time. My best photos with him are from that con for sure!

So, you see, I HAD to try and give my luck a third chance to live the perfect experience. I wanted to live it all, photo ops, autographs, M&G, panels but I also had a secret wish: to be one of those fans who accidentally meet their fav randomly in the city (NO stalking because that’s just fucked up, only by chance). I always saw posts of lucky people who got to meet him outside of conventions. He’s not one of those snob celebs, you see. He’ll always smile at you and talk to you and get pictures with you. So, I dreamt about it the entire year before JIB7. @darlingjared and I would talk and joke about it all the time, praying that our stars will listen and make a surprise meeting possible. Of course, deep down we know the chances were extremely low. Rome is a HUGE city with hundreds of places of interest. He could be anywhere, on the opposite site of where we’d be. 

The day finally arrived, and we got to Rome (Thursday, May 19th 2016). Soon after I arrived at the Hilton hotel, I got to my room to get some rest after the flight. Not much later, I got a text saying Jared was at the hotel!!!! (no idea why??? the convention was starting the next day and he wasn’t to appear until the day after that). Before I could get dressed to go check, he was gone but I heard he was really sweet and greeted everyone who said hi to him. 

In the afternoon, after I met with my roommate and @darlingjared ,we took the Hilton bus that took us downtown; it left us near the Victor Emmanuel II monument.  Naturally, we went for walks around the city. We had a bite to eat and then got lost in a street trying to find our way to the Trevi fountain, so we asked around and managed to get to our destination. We spent a few minutes there, taking photos and then continued our way, meaning to get to the Spanish steps. While we were heading there, rain started pouring, so we took shelter for a few minutes until it stopped. We thought, damn, we will never meet him during this weather. When it stopped, we did some shopping at a supermarket and since the time had passed and we had to grab our ride back to the hotel since the Hilton bus had a specific route schedule, we said let’s just pass the Spanish steps quickly, go down via Condotti and head back. (I have to mention here that my BEST DECISION EVER was to wear the Always Keep Fighting T-shirt for this walk). At this point, we were certain we wouldn’t meet him, so we basically forgot about it and just started chatting with each other and laughing. I mean, we walked around many places, we got lost, we got stuck in the rain. What were the odds??? So, we’re laughing at our own jokes and for some reason we had our attention focused at the right side of the street. I turn my head straight at the PERFECT time, seeing that beautiful, smiling giant, coming my way through the crowd and adressing me before I had the time to react:

Jared: “Hey, I love your shirt!” 

I fucking froze. Can you imagine?????? Not only did we eventually meet him but HE came to us FIRST to talk!!!!! We didn’t have to notice him and shyly go talk to him, wondering if we’re disturbing him, asking for pictures. He casually just approached us because he wanted to, because he’s kind and simple like that. I was so shocked, mouth agape, that he just went in for a hug to bring me back to reality!!! Now, name me another actor, another celebrity who will stop on his own to talk to you and hug you, I DARE YOU TO FIND ONE!!! He’s pure and special like that. He hugged each of us (gosh, he smelled like Heaven and looked so good in that sexy coat he wore, his hair kinda wet from the rain), asked us how we’re doing and then we asked if it would be ok to take some pictures with us. He said “sure!” and we took our phones out. Mine was brand new and I hadn’t even taken a picture with it, so, basically Jared blessed it first xD My hand was shaking so bad that I couldn’t take the picture, so, he put his hand on mine to steady it and took the selfie. He took pics with all of us, we thanked him and then he told us to have a good time and that he’d see us again at the convention. Needless to say when he left, we started losing it because we couldn’t believe what had just happened!!! It was out of this world. To this day, as I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. We wanted something so SO much, that the universe made it happen. It’s one of those times that you know the stars aligned so that something you desired with all your heart could come true!

The entire convention was absolutely phenomenal. Jared remembered my face throughout the weekend, I asked him interesting questions during his panels and the one he shared with Jensen for which he later thanked me when I saw him at the photo ops (he particularly liked my question adressed to him and Jensen about the proudest they’ve felt about themselves in real life and about their characters on Supernatural and the other one concerning what Sam and Jared would tell each other if they met in real life which he found great because he said he had never been asked that before.) The M&G with him was a blast, he sat with us longer than what was expected, got to ask him two questions there (I have another detailed post with everything that was said in the M&G), he was super chill and eager to answer everything we wanted to know. When I got his autograph, I told him everything he means to me, thanked him for inspiring me to be a better version of myself, straight out told him I love him and he was so kind and gentle and shook my hand and told me he loved me back (also gave him a custom made chocolate I ordered particularly for him with #AKF as a theme). “I love you, always keeping fighting Jared, never forget.” I was on the verge of tears for multiple reasons but I had to say that to him. I was not in a good place back then and Jared was a beacon of light, of hope that kept me going. At our last photo op together, I asked him to hug me “like there’s no tomorrow” and he held me so tight in his arms, I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what he looked like when he hugged me but getting out of the photo op room, the girl who was behind me stopped me in the hallway and said: “Omg, he was so sweet with you! Loved what he did with his eyes. Your photo will look beautiful”. I was confused because I was looking at the camera when the picture was taken, so I had to wait for my photo op to get printed to see what she was talking about. My heart melted when I saw this:

I mean, look at that SOFT face. He’s so sweet, you can FEEL his kindness radiating by reading his expression. Some people may think nothing of this but it meant the world to me back then. It was as if he was telling me “things will get better, you can do this” without using words.

When Jared hugs, he does it with everything he has, like he’s said before, hugging is showing you care about someone and damn, he does. He’s an actor but he doesn’t pretend during these moments, I can assure you. He’s a person who feels things deeply, he’s someone who understands what it’s like to struggle with your personal demons and that’s why I’ve always related to him the most. He has a heart of gold and personally, I’ll have his back always. He didn’t have to be so kind to me but he was and I will never forget that.

So this is my story. This post was probably too long but I had to share these thoughts. 

Jared, I know you don’t remember me but if you ever see this, thank you for being you, don’t ever change. I love you, man. #AKF

~Elena

[theexecutionerssong]

I was just minding my business and scrolling through your spn cast tag because i wanted to see stuff from past cons that I’ve missed bc i was a bit behind on seasons so i never watched those cons videos or stuff like that.. but I didn’t know where to look and I remembered you. But boy oh boy....i didnt know i was gonna end up hating mark p.. 🙃 thats what i get for only watching the show and living in a bubble. Anyway, your blog is amazing and i was able to learn/see some stuff i didnt even know happened at cons or just random insights. So thanks for being active and for tagging everything😩 😘

Ahhh I wish I could go back in time I tag things properly from the start because everything pre 2014 isn’t tagged and I hate past me for that. So much happy and fun content I can’t find anymore. Sorry if anything burst your bubble... though not sorry about Mark P. Every year he comes to Dark Light Con and every year I give away my extras with him to the first person I find sdfghjkl

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2018 Day 2 | Another Universe AU

- (Endverse, Djinnverse, Purgatory etc)

Revenge of the Subtext | @mittensmorgul Rating: Explicit Word Count: 80,064 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Canon Divergence after 10.20, French Mistake style AU, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Crack, Light Angst, description of canon-typical violence, Supernatural Convention, Dean Winchester and Feelings, Human!Castiel Summary: Things are finally settling back down to normal since Cas gave up his grace to cure Dean of the Mark. Well, as normal as their lives are allowed to get. Sam relentlessly finds new cases to work, one right after the other; but Dean thinks they need a break to let Cas have some purely human fun, for once. It’s true they had a difficult time readjusting to humanity at first, but Dean thinks Cas deserves to do more than ride around in the back seat and follow them on monster hunts. Then again, Dean’s a little bit scared to ask exactly what Cas would want, just in case it doesn’t include spending quite so much time with him. And with Sam (of course). Sam’s been tracking a series of odd occurrences in Laramie, Wyoming for the last few weeks that looks just enough like a case to finally convince Dean they should go check it out. Whether they like it or not, the goddess responsible for the weirdness in Laramie takes an immediate interest in the three less-than-perfectly-happy hunters who’ve stumbled into her town.

He Who Made the Lamb | @alxdiamond Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,193 Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse, Reconciliation, Angst, Future/Implied Canon Character Deaths Summary: When Dean gets thrust forward into a vision of ruin, he disrupts the careful equilibrium of apathy and resentment that has become the norm between his future self and Castiel. In a moment of respite at the end of the world, a broken shell that used to hold an angel and a desperate leader who lost everything but his cause find absolution in a bond that, though tangled and frayed, has never severed.

Our Bruises, Each Pristine | @cenedrariva Rating: Explicit Word Count: 35,326 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Implied/Referenced Non-con, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Croatoan!Dean, Emmanuel, Enemies to Lovers, Amnesia, Healer!Castiel, Endverse Summary: Dean couldn’t remember the time Before. The people. The outbreak. Being bitten. There was nothing but the feral pleasure of the hunt, the symphony of years of screams echoing across his mind. So what if he couldn’t remember? It wasn’t like it mattered anymore. So why did Emmanuel—compassionate, sharp-tongued, incandescent Emmanuel—make him want to remember?

trying to keep you | @candybarrnerd Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,995 Main Tags/Warnings: Mentions of interrogation/torture, Praise, Cleaning, cleaning body and soul, Top!Castiel/Bottom!Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, endverse Summary: He reaches out for Dean’s wrists, using the grip to pull Dean’s hands from his pockets, and up to inspect. As he expected there’s still traces of blood on his hands. They’ve been washed, but it’s still there, under his nails and in his cuticles. “Cas—” “Don’t,” Cas interrupts him. He doesn’t know what Dean is planning on saying, but knows nothing good can come of it. Cas drags his eyes back up to Dean’s face, and this time Dean looks at him, eyes locking on each other. “Just let me take care of you.” Dean is a man possessed with a goal, the goal to get the colt back, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Cas’s only goal is to make sure the man he knows is still there when the dust settles.

Dream On | @50shadesofsubtext Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,103 Main Tags/Warnings: Djinn, Alternate Season 10, Mark of Cain Summary: Dean jolted upright in bed drenched in sweat. Fucking Djinn. He looked around the room and saw the picture of his mom under his lamp, guns and knives adorning the wall, and took a breath- he was home. He cautiously slipped out of the covers, grabbed a knife, and creaked the door open. Peering down the hall, he took one silent step out, then another. He didn’t know if this djinn granted wishes or fed on fear, so he needed to get a feel for this world, and he would be ready for whatever happened. When Dean is trapped in a djinn dream, he tries to find a way out, but soon questions if that is something he really wants.

This is life that’s so thankless | @the-grace-of-fallen-angels Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2081 Main Tags/Warnings: angst, end!verse, Dubious Consent, Somnophilia, Masturbation, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Anal Sex, Substance Abuse Summary: Just some Dean/Cas end!verse angst and sex

Don’t live in the past |  @the-grace-of-fallen-angels Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9,928 Main Tags/Warnings: porn, angst, violence, S&M, end!verse Summary: In the year 2014, Dean and Cas have an ‘arrangement’. They sleep with any women they want as long as they are the only guy for each other. Till Past!Dean shows up, whom Cas likes, a lot. When Dean discovers Cas broke their arrangement, he becomes consumed by jealousy and possessiveness, hitting and claiming Cas as his own. Cas gladly takes all the pain if it means he can finally have Dean all to himself.

Almost | @sternchencas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,963 Main Tags/Warnings: spn usual violence, vampires, blood, hurt!cas, djinn dream Summary: Dean finds himself in more and more different situations that always end the same way. He almost kisses Cas. Will he manage to do it in the end?

The Roman Mistake | @firefly124 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,957 Main Tags/Warnings: post-13x10, french mistake-esque Summary: Jack and Kaia rescued Dean and Sam from the “bad place,” but home isn’t safe yet, so he sends them and Cas somewhere else while he deals with Asmodeus. Why he picked Rome in a universe like the one Balthazar sent them to is more than Dean can figure out, especially since he and Cas are busy answering questions from … fans.

Sounds Like The End Of The World | @envydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1,783 Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse, Omega!Castiel, Alpha!Dean, switching, PWP, Sounding Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics,  Bittersweet Ending, Drug Use, Established Relationship Summary: Dean may be an Alpha but he takes at being submissive to Castiel like a duck to water.

[lol-jackles]

Hey there. I’ve seen some of your other posts touch up on this, but I was hoping you could write a full post combining everything you’ve mentioned and hypothesized for jibcon17. Do you think Jensen was drunk? Why’d he get emotional? What happened between him and Jared? How did this fit on the YANA timeline?

Eh, IDK.  Maybe one day *shrug*.  I don’t think he was drunk-drunk.  He wasn’t emotional he was manipulative.  Friendship reboot involves growing pains, personally I thought their friendship wouldn’t last past 10 years but they seem to have muscled through the reboot and level up.  

How did this fit on the YANA timeline?  You want the short version?  Sometimes before or during season 9, Jensen and WB finally worked out a deal between them and on 11-05-2014, Jensen registered the Family Business Beer Company, LLC.  Few CW actors participated in charity fundraising through Represent and on 02-13-2015, Jensen’s tee shirt Represent campaign is #SPNFamily.  “Family” = foreshadow, geddit?  On 03-03-2015 it was Jared’s turn and he launched his AKF campaign.  It wraps up on 03-18-2015 breaking records, that same day the Dean/Cole episode “The Things They Carried” delivered the season’s first rating bomb and ratings decline will continue to the finale, making season 10 the lowest rated season in the series.

Me: somebody is gonna get hurt.  *Two months later*  JFC I wasn’t talking about you Jared!  

In June, Jared returns to the the public for the Gilmore Girl panel.  Two days later he is nominated for a TCA in the acting category.

Me: This is, like, your 7th nomination.  Maybe you’ll win this time.  *Jensen and Misha are nominated in the chemistry category*�� Eh? Until now Misha had zero TCA nomination and Jensen had 3, so why is WB going to buy the chemistry award for Jensen and Misha???  

Creation Entertainment’s Gary and Adam registered the Creation Stands LLC on 06-29-2015.  Two weeks after the amazing Comic Con tea light tribute to Jared, he launched his third AKF campaign on 7-19-2015.  At the time I thought it was excessive but in hindsight I think Jensen told Jared back in June that YANA was in the works by CW/WB.  Jensen may had two reasons to agreeing to work in the YANA campaign; first reason is to solidify WB committment to his brewery (the Ackles were professionaly photographed for the marketing).  Two weeks later on 08-05-2015  Jensen debuts his Instagram with a picture of himself and his daughter.

Me: Cute picture.  *see the instant 2 million followers *  I knew it, WB is one of the FBBC’s investors/owners.

A week later the TCA win for Jared (acting), and Jensen & Misha (chemistry) came and went and forgottened until 10-16-2015 when Creation Entertainment advertised it’s upcoming Chicago con using a Jensen/Misha banner with a AKF tagline on it.  Fandom is “Aw Hell No!” and the picture was removed and replaced with Jensen/Jared.  Two weeks later on 11-01-15 Creation Entertainment announced the establishment of Creation Stands to sell official SPN merchandise, though it noticably skewed Cas theme products because ….

Me: *reads Misha’s friend is in charge of Creation Stands*   Holy shit, Misha is the owner of Stands???  Are you trying to win a Darwin Award?  Waitaminute..the chemistry award, that boat picture, the Chicago faux pas….*Jared launched his 4th AFK campaign on 11-04-2015*  Yeah I take back everything I said about your 3rd campaign because Jensen’s second reason for telling Jared (probably) back in June may be to be seen as his rescuer so Jared would fall back into his status quo arms.  Instead Jared probably called up his publicist and strategized.  Boundaries suck for the one being boundaried at but it was necessary. 

On 01-06-2016, Jensen wins PCA for acting and filmed a thank you video with Misha who was coincidentally on set during his 2 days out of the 8 day episode shoot.  Once month later, YANA is launched on 02-11-2016.  That same day Jared announced he is returning to Gilmore Girls.

Me: Well played, Jared.  Yup, pretty sure Jensen told him about YANA six to eight months ago.  Skip Forward to Jibcon16.  Oh boy….But on the other hand, and call me crazy but if Jared hadn’t ditched Jensen by now those crazy kids might make it.  Aaaand I think it did.

[println-archive]

warning for tumblr user epiphanct

disclaimer: most of what happened between us was on now deleted quotev/quizazz accounts and my old blog that i deactivated after getting stalked by someone irl. all the screenshots i can give are from our email conversations, but i can get some testimonies from people who knew her about how she treated me in public and what i told them at the time it all went down. 

(@stillwritinghaikus & @sadcryptid knew me and eli most of the time, but @gafou was there towards the end and can say what they were like the few times we all hung out also only contact these ppl off anon, they don’t all want to be involved too publicly but agreed to be included as character witnesses to who eli is-- there are other people but i don’t have ways to contact a lot of them because we fell out of touch over the years)

anyone who has followed me for long or knows me knows i still deal with panic attacks, issues in relationships, issues with self worth, and nightmares because of a bad ex-girlfriend.

me and eli (i think that’s what they’re going by now and i believe they use they/she pronouns now) were best friends and on-again off-again since 2013 up until some time in 2017. consistently from 2014 until 2016 (i tried to detach from them in late 2016 so we talked significantly less and i would ignore them when they got angry or anything), they emotionally abused me. 

tw for incest, daddy kink, and emotional abuse under the cut-- don’t harass her about the things regarding incest or daddy kink because most of that is from when they were 13-15, i’m only including it because its a testament to what type of person they are and something that is available in our email chains to prove. i was complicit in a lot of the incest rp/kink but at no point was i legit into it, i just never called them out on it and i went with it

we met when they were 12 almost 13 and i was 13 (i think) on our first accounts on quizazz (now quotev), a quiz and story-making website, because they spoiled fred dying for me in a post about harry potter. 

from then we started talking and eventually became best friends. things were mostly normal and healthy overall for the first year until i got into my first relationship w/ someone. they started to get possessive of my time and over me but i thought it was normal and it pretty much was especially when i found out why-- they confessed to having a crush on me. i got permission from my S.O. at the time to be poly and date both of them but eventually i dumped my S.O. for eli alone. it was around when we became exclusive (when they were 13 and i was 14) that things went from normal messy teenager dating to controlling my entire life

they would get angry when i went to sleep, saying that i had to stay up for them or giving me the silent treatment the next morning if i went to sleep when they didn’t want me to. they didn’t limit asking me to stay up to when they were unstable either, most of the time their reason was that they wanted to rp. they would snap and withhold affection from me if i went to sleep on accident or my mom took my laptop away so i would go to sleep. at some point it reached the point that i was missing days of classes in a row because i was sleep deprived and throwing up in the mornings from stress and lack of sleep. i told them this and they still didn’t stop.

they would also control what i posted on my blog or what i had my layout look like on quotev, because if they didn’t like what it was they would claim we had nothing in common and should break up or they should unfollow me or they should block me. most notably, when i made a sideblog for taylor swift posts at some point i started spending most of my time on that blog because taylor swift was a hyperfocus at the time. i switched that blog to my mainly active one and made it a multifandom with a focus on taylor swift, and they got mad at me for posting so much taylor swift. to placate her, i changed it so i only posted taylor swift in my queue and then, finally, i just ran a multifandom blog and avoided reblogging anything about taylor swift more than two or three times a week. i need to emphasize here: i never tried to make eli talk to me about taylor swift after they made it clear they didn’t like them, i didn’t talk to them about it and i didn’t require that they interact with my posts or anything. they just didn’t want me to post about my interest. this also happened with pokemon and homestuck, but to a lesser extent-- the fight was over once i changed my layout from having art for them, i was still allowed to post some.

we broke up sometime in late 2014 for good, but they still made all of my decisions. they were possessive and called me theirs, they didn’t like it when i liked girls who weren’t them, and only let me show affection for them. i was allowed on relationship other than eli, and only because they approved of her and set me up with her. in the end, we broke up because, with eli’s manipulation and forced dependence on them, i was still in love with them. then, within the month of breaking up with this girl, eli switched the script completely and would randomly go through bouts of anger where they would give me the silent treatment and vague about me for still having feelings for them.

they also made it very clear that they got to pick who i could and could not be friends with. most notably with my then best friend dani (@sadcryptid, dont message them publicly abt this). when they found out i was talking to dani in any capacity-- whether i mentioned her or posted something about her-- they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me about it extensively. this went on for YEARS (two? i think) until i ended up dropping dani for entirely unrelated reasons (we’re cool now). when, briefly after, i made friends with a girl who went by luna (who sexually harassed me so eli ended up being right but they didn’t know about that at the time), they lost their shit guilt tripping me into dropping luna too because they wanted to be my only close friend. another time my friend irl confessed to having a crush on me and eli made me talk to her less and said i was theirs

they also briefly shipped reylo and wincest, i have no idea if they still do but i know they did as long as i knew them, and shipped nico from percy jackson (a canon gay character) with their girl oc. (they had a whole breakdown when nico was confirmed gay, saying it ruined the books for them)

they also would give me the silent treatment whenever something good happened in my life-- when i got tickets for the nebraska comic con, or got to see taylor swift, they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me

they had an incest kink to the point of making up ocs to be their twin and older sister, only agreeing to human aus for michael/lucifer from spn if they were related in them (until they changed their mind to getting angry at me for suggesting them), and had a literal daddy kink-- not just into calling their partner daddy but to the point where they would propose rps where their self insert was the literal child of michael and they would have sex. 

they also liked professor/student plots, especially in harry potter with professor snape and their self inserts.

so here are the screenshots now, for your ref in the screenshots, they’ve gone by “mya”, “lottie/charlotte”, “wren”, and “matt”. they also have an oc other than the fake siblings that come up a few times named “juliet” and one named “holly” and one named “casey”. i know that the screenshots don’t have proof of everything i’ve outlined, like i said above most of it happened on accounts that have since been deleted or deactivated so i only have what i could find in my gmail.

i’ll add more screenshots as i find them

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

SPN asks! 16, 44, 57 😊

I meant 59, not 57. Jeez 57 is creepy LOL

LOL! Okay, 57 is a little creepy. I’ll skip that one. ♥

16. When did you start blogging about Supernatural?

I started watching around my 40th birthday, so early- to mid-December, 2014. I finished around Christmas, and was already looking for MORE by New Year’s. I’d found SPN pins on Pinterest by then, and soon realized all the good pins were screenshots of Tumblr posts. I came to Tumblr and made my blog in January, 2015. I became an avid fic reader pretty quickly, and wrote my first story (which was the first piece of fiction I ever wrote) in April. It’s been a deep dive into fandom ever since!!

44. Have you ever cried over a non-OTP ship from the show?

I don’t really have an OTP, unless you count me with various Winchesters, and I try to keep my tears at a minimum for that. In canon, the only ship that truly broke my heart (and the only ship I really shipped during my first viewing) was Dean and Jo. I liked Anna, and liked that she made Dean feel better about himself, but didn’t ship them much beyond that one episode. Dean and Jo, however, still break my heart. 

In fics, I think I’ve cried over pretty much everyone at one time or another. Y’all are angsty wordy bitches and like to meddle with my delicate emotions.

59. What movies/shows have you watched because of (or by coincidence) Jared, Jensen, or Misha?

True facts: I watched SPN because of Misha. (Which means I literally watched the first three seasons saying, “Where’s the damn angel???”) Although I had seen him on ER and Charmed, I didn’t recognize him as being the same guy or know his name or anything. However, I follow John Barrowman (less these days now that my social media feeds have become all SPN all the time). One day, John Barrowman was at a parade or a march or something (I forget what), and posted a picture of him with Misha captioned, “My Misha!!!” I had to know about this person that JB thought was awesome, because JB is awesome and real, so he if loves something THIS MUCH, I obviously would, too. Looked up Misha, saw Random Acts, and was immediately on board. (In college, my email signature included the quote, “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Just the name Random Acts spoke to me.) When I got sick with the plague (it was a cold, but I was begging for death for a solid six weeks), and I got done watching all the other shows I’d wanted to watch, I remembered that Misha was on that show my goddaughters tried to get me hooked on WAY BACK WHEN. I watched Doctor Who, I’d just watched Sherlock, I loved Misha, I’d heard of SuperWhoLock, so started SPN. The rest is history.

As for things I’ve watched because of J2M, I watched Jensen in Bloody Valentine (which is why I refuse to watch Jared in his horror movies - I don’t do horror well, honestly), and I watched Jared in The Christmas Cottage. (Did you know Thomas Kincade was a lefty? Jared played him as a lefty, even though I’m pretty sure Jared is a righty. That impressed me.) OH, and I watched Ten Inch Hero for Jensen. I have in my possession DVDs for Dark Angel and Blond because of Jensen (though I knew about Dark Angel because of Michael Weatherly). I just haven’t watched them, yet.

Outside of J2M, I have watched JDM in the first twenty minutes of Possession (I couldn’t do more than that), and PS I Love You. Because of Kripke, I watch Timeless. Because of Rich & Rob, I watch and support Kings of Con. I’ve followed Tim Omundson since he was on Xena, so following him to Galavant doesn’t really count. Because of SPN, I now listen to Louden Swain, Jason Manns, and The Station Breaks, as well as a couple of Steve Carlson songs. I haven’t yet, but I hope to someday watch Skyward on Amazon for Rich. Id have to figure out Amazon video, first, though.

Ask me questions!

[richonnefics]

Happy Summer Solstice lovely Richonners! We have about a little under a month (24 days to be exact) until San Diego Comic Con. May we be blessed with lots of Richonne but until then, beat the heat with another Richonne writer interview. Please take your time to get to know a bit more about @yellehughes!

Richonnefics (RF): Hi yellehughes! Thanks so much for taking the time out of your schedule for this interview.  Any tips for those that are going through writer’s block?

Yellehughes (YH): Well, this is what I do to help me get through writer’s block. Since I write Richonne fanfics, I immerse myself in Richonne (that’s not weird, is it?) I set up a playlist on YouTube and the videos consist of crack humor, TWD scenes and music fanvids. They all feature Rick and Michonne’s voice and it allows me to keep their characters in my mind as I’m writing. Reading other fanfics helps, but not too many because I don’t want to make the mistake and accidentally pilfer someone’s ideas. I go back and watch episodes that are specific to Richonne, or heck just watch them all anyway. I try and get feedback from my fellow Richonne fanfic writers when I get stuck and vice versa. One last little trick I perform for myself: I think of the scene that I’m working on as I’m going to sleep. I can dream up new things and when I wake up, I write it down. And, bam! I’ve broken my writer’s block.

RF: What is your favorite word and why?

YH: Epiphany, derived from the Ancient Greek word, epiphaneia. It means to experience a sudden and striking realization. My first understanding of the word was when I read, The Miracle Worker. A story about Helen Keller and how she finally understood that what Anne Sullivan was spelling in her hand had a meaning. It never clicked in her mind until, Anne stuck Helen’s hand in water and then signed WATER in her hand at the same time. That moment stood out to me and every time I learn something new or realize something, I get my HKM (Helen Keller Moment) and it’s a beautiful feeling.

RF: I think Epiphany is a beautiful word.  It sounds really nice when spoken.  Are you a plotter or a pantster?

YH: I’m a little bit of both. When I started writing my first fanfic, The TWD Chronicles, I outlined and wrote down the plot for each chapter. Once I have a starting point, it’s all flying by the seat of my pants from there.

RF: Have you always enjoyed writing?

YH: I’ve always wanted to write stories since I was in the 7th grade and that was a long time ago. I actually started writing my first work, Triton, in high school. I had the character’s names, what they would look like and how they would first meet (it’s a romance, by the way) Unfortunately, life got in the way and it was only until my kids were grown, and I took a trip to Greece, that I took my writing seriously. I brought out my old papers and reworked everything that I had written and self-published my first novel in 2014. I’ve been writing ever since. And, then I discovered the world of Fanfiction. I’ve never seen a tv show so good at building characters and it woke me up (epiphany) on what I was missing in my own writing. I didn’t understand this before I wrote my first two books. So, I will be going back over them later and do some tweaking.

RF: Fanfiction can really be an educational experience, especially with a helpful community of writers. What is your least favorite part of the writing process?

YH: Writing the ending. That means I say goodbye to the people I’ve spent a lot of time with.

RF: What is your most favorite part of the writing process?

YH: Coming up with witty dialogue. I laugh a lot and I laugh at my characters, a lot. So, I like to make them say crazy and funny things. Also, envisioning what my characters look like and creating them.

RF: A writer typically has me for life if they can make me laugh.  Have you learned anything from writing fan fiction?

YH: Yup, that sometimes my writing sucks, and even though it’s not perfect, it’s my story on how I see it. I don’t have to write it the way others say I should write it. It’s for my pleasure and hopefully to please the readers. Fan fiction has opened me up to a whole new world and I’m enjoying the hell out of it. It’s connected me to readers and writers and so many have made me feel welcomed. Nothing beats that.

RF: The one consistent thing I’ve heard over the years by Richonners and non-Richonners is how much hospitality there is within the Richonne writing community. When and why did you begin writing fan fiction?

YH: I’m late to the Richonne fandom because I was one of the ones who refused to watch the show because I thought it was all about killing zombies (oops, I said the dreaded word!) I was a super fan of Supernatural (at least watching it, never heard of fanfiction) until John Winchester was vilified. Then it was bye-bye SPN. JDM was the reason I started watching in the first place. Okay, that’s another story. I could go on and on why SPN pissed me off. Anyway, I heard he was joining TWD. Now remember, I had no clue as to what this show was about, besides killing zombies (oh no!) So, I went online and started watching some videos about Season 7’s last episode with the lineup. I saw all these people on their knees and I’m like, “Hmmm…. what’s up with this?” I didn’t know them and that scene made me WANT to know who they were. So, I went to Netflix and started from the beginning and I have been hooked from the pilot. Because I’m so nosey, I started looking up more and more info on the show. I happened to say to one of my author friends, what if someone expanded on the characters outside the show? Girl, she gave me a link to a Richonne fanfic, I’d about died! Was this real? Did people really do this? Yes, and yes! I went on a reading binge of several authors and I noticed that there wasn’t that many stories too focused on fantasy or the supernatural (that’s my thing) and I thought, what if I made Rick and Michonne, Greek gods? How would that go and the rest is history.

RF: Is there anything else about yourself that you would like to share with the readers?

YH: I talk a lot or type a lot, as you can see up above. I love helping fellow writers with showing off their work. I like compliments. I like giving compliments. Sometimes I say the wrong thing, but I eventually apologize. As a writer, I invite criticism of my work. I need that in order to improve. I have a busy mind, so sometimes I go off on tangents.

RF: Fun, semi-related question: Mints or Apples?

YH: Apples, because I can do so much more with them. I can slice them and put them in my oatmeal with cinnamon. I can eat them straight off the tree. I can make an apple pie with them. I can throw them at my brother and make it hurt (can’t do that with mints) I can eat them with peanut butter, salt, caramel. Make juice (well not make it, I can buy it) I will say though, if someone wants to give me mints, especially if he’s a smoking hot deputy sheriff from King’s County, I’ll take it!

RF: Thank you so much for your time.  We really enjoyed getting to know you better.  If you aren’t following @yellehughes on tumblr, exactly what are you waiting for? You can find all of yellehughes Richonne fanfiction here on fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/~yellehughes