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imagopirateversion · 7 months ago

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist

Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.

An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.

Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.

The Beginning

At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.

Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:

How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?

Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?

Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?

Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?

Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow

Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.

Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".

The Pearl in The Bottle

So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?

What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence

A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.

What's Wrong With the Guards?

Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?

Paul McCartney

This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.

Salazar

I am confused. Once again, I have questions.

El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?

The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?

Poseidon or Calypso?

What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.

The Compass

This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.

That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.

So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.

That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate

Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.

Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.

Justice for Hector Barbossa

If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".

So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.

Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.

I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.

How does Carina Smyth exist?

Let's do the maths. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.

When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;

it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.

The Post-Credit Scene: What?

WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.

My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.

Imago

#potc #pirates of the caribbean #potc analysis #dead men tell no tales #analysis #media analysis #pirates #jack sparrow #hector barbossa #carina smyth #henry turner #elizabeth swann #will turner #calypso #davy jones #salazar

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mariacallous · 3 months ago

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Glad people are finally finding out that these Pro Palestine protestors are ratfuckers-by-design at best (and Republicans at worst) and that's why they support Trump:

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/08/dnc-palestinian-gaza-protests/679524/

One month ago, an NBC News headline reported:

Protesters made a tiny footprint at the RNC in Milwaukee. Other than a modest daytime march on Monday afternoon, the first day of the Republican National Convention, there were virtually no protests over the event’s four days and nights.

Obviously, the story from the Democratic National Convention in Chicago is already proving different.

This is part of a pattern. Gather any large number of Democrats together, in almost any city or state, whether at rallies, fundraisers, or presidential appearances, and pro-Palestinian protesters will try to wreck the event. These actions have been building to threats of outright violence. Pro-Trump and Republican events, meanwhile, are almost always left in peace.

Of the two big parties, the Democrats are more emotionally sympathetic to Palestinian suffering. The Biden administration is working to negotiate the cease-fire that the pro-Palestinian camp claims to want. The administration has provided hundreds of millions of dollars of humanitarian assistance to Palestinians in Gaza. President Joe Biden’s terms for ending the fighting in Gaza envision a rapid movement to full Palestinian statehood.

By contrast, former President Donald Trump uses Palestinian as an insult. His administration moved the U.S. embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, and recognized Israel’s annexation of the Golan Heights. In 2016, Trump campaigned on a complete shutdown of travel by Muslims into the United States; Trump now speaks of deporting campus anti-Israel protesters. He has pledged to block Gaza refugees from entering the United States.

Trump wants to tell the story that he and his party will enforce public order. He alleges that Democrats cannot or will not protect Americans against chaos spread by extremist elements. The pro-Palestinian movement works every day to create images that support Trump’s argument. As a visibly annoyed Vice President Kamala Harris asked protesters in Detroit earlier this month: Do they want to elect Donald Trump?

Not all pro-Palestinian demonstrators are thinking about the election. Many seem driven by moral outrage or ideological passion. But for those who are thinking strategically, the answer is obvious: Yes, they want to elect Trump. Of course they want to elect Trump. Electing Trump is their best—and maybe only—hope.

To understand why, cast your mind back a quarter century.

In the election of 2000, Vice President Al Gore faced Texas Governor George W. Bush. Gore probably would have won in a straight two-way contest. But that same year, the progressive advocate Ralph Nader entered the race as a third-party challenger—and he pulled just enough of the vote to tip the Electoral College and the presidency toward Bush.

Nader later professed regret for running as a third-party candidate. But at the time, Nader understood exactly what he was doing. Defeating Gore and electing Bush was the intended and declared purpose of Nader’s candidacy. Nader detailed his logic in many speeches, including this one to the summer-2000 convention of the NAACP:

If you ever wondered why the right wing and the corporate wing of the Democratic Party has so much more power over that party than the progressive wing, it’s because the right wing and the corporate wing have somewhere to go: It’s called the Republican Party. And so they’re catered to and they’re regaled—like the Democratic Leadership Council, they’re catered to and they’re regaled. But if you look at the progressive wing … they have nowhere to go. And you know when you’re told that you have nowhere to go, you get taken for granted. And when you get taken for granted, you get taken.

To paraphrase his argument even more bluntly: If progressives caused the Democrats to lose the presidency in the election of 2000, then Democrats would take progressives more seriously in all the elections that followed.

Nader’s logic was not altogether wrong. In many ways, the post-2000 Democratic Party has shifted well to the left of where the party was in the 1980s and ’90s. But catering to the party’s left has cost Democrats winnable races, and with them, key priorities: The Iraq War and 20 years of inaction on climate change head the list of progressive disappointments since the 2000 election, and the list extends from there. Whether or not the shift was worth the price, Nader was neither ignorant nor deceived. He identified his goal and willingly accepted the risks for himself and his movement.

So it is now with the pro-Palestinian demonstrators of 2024.

They start with a fundamental political problem: Their cause is not popular. Solid majorities of Americans accept Israel’s war in Gaza as valid and fiercely condemn the Hamas terrorist attacks as unacceptable. The exact margin varies from poll to poll depending on how the question is asked, but when presented with a binary choice between Israel and the Palestinians, Americans prefer Israel by a factor of at least two to one.

The brute fact of those numbers makes it very difficult for pro-Palestinian activists to win elections. In this cycle, despite all the emotion stirred by the Gaza war, two of Israel’s fiercest critics in Congress lost their primaries to pro-Israel challengers.

From the point of view of any practical politician: If a cause is so unpopular that it cannot help its friends, why listen to its advocates?

The only answer to that question, again from the practical point of view, is the message of the protesters in Chicago: Maybe we can’t help you if you do listen to us, but we can hurt you if you don’t!

Think of it another way. Since the bloody attack by Hamas on October 7 and the Israeli response, pro-Palestinian protesters have marched and agitated all over the United States. They have occupied college campuses. They have impeded access to Jewish schools, businesses, and places of worship. They have posted impassioned words and images on social media.

Yet all of their militant action has barely budged U.S. policy. Arms, intelligence, and economic assistance continue to flow from the United States to Israel. U.S. military forces cooperate with Israel against Iranian proxies in Lebanon and Yemen. Although the U.S. has imposed restraint on some Israeli operations, Israel has mostly been allowed to fight its own war in its own way.

These were President Biden’s decisions, not Vice President Harris’s. But she was the second-highest-ranking member of the administration. If Biden’s deputy inherits Biden’s office, the message is clear: His administration’s record of support for Israel carried no meaningful political price. All of those street demonstrations and campus occupations will have amounted to so much empty noise. All of those articles arguing that Gaza explained Biden’s troubles with young voters would be exposed as ideological wishcasting.

If Harris wins, the pro-Palestinian movement will have lost.

If Harris loses, however, pro-Palestinian protesters can claim that they were responsible for her defeat. That claim might not be true—in fact it probably would not be true—but try disproving it. The pro-Palestinian movement would have at least some basis to argue: You lost because you alienated us.

If Harris wins, she may want to do something about the pro-Palestinian cause—for humanitarian reasons, for reasons of diplomacy and geopolitics, for reasons of Democratic-constituency management in particular congressional districts. But she won’t have to do it. She’ll know that the protesters tried to beat her, and they failed.

If Harris loses, however, future Democratic candidates will tread more carefully on Israeli-Palestinian terrain. Even if they privately doubt that the party’s position on Gaza explains anything truly important, they will be worried by advisers and donors who will believe it or who will want to believe it.

But what about Trump? Why aren’t the pro-Palestinian demonstrators in Chicago more fearful of Trump’s possible return to the presidency?

Although the pro-Palestine cause attracts support from progressives, it is not exactly a progressive cause. Americans associate progressivism with secularism, feminism, and gay-rights advocacy, among other causes. The Palestinian national movement, especially now that Hamas has effectively replaced the Palestine Liberation Organization as leader of “the resistance,” has become markedly religious, patriarchal, and socially reactionary. But it is also a movement fiercely opposed to American global hegemony—and that is its “anti-imperialist” appeal to Western progressives.

If you oppose American global hegemony, Trump is your candidate (as a long list of anti-American dictators have already figured out). Trump fiercely opposes the alliances and trade agreements that magnify American power and make the U.S. the center of a huge network of democratic, market-oriented countries. Trump’s “America First” bluster is actually a pathway to American isolation and weakness that will further remove American power from the world.

If you wish America ill, of course you wish Trump well. The far left and far right of U.S. politics may disagree on much, but they agree on that.

The protesters in the streets of Chicago are not acting aimlessly or randomly. The people on the receiving end of their protests would benefit from equal clarity. The protesters want chaos and even violence in order to defeat Harris and elect Trump. They are not ill-informed or excessively idealistic or sadly misled. They are not overzealous allies. They are purposeful adversaries.

The Chicago-convention delegates should recognize that truth, and act accordingly.

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anjee0 · 1 month ago

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Old friends

Female!reader x 2000's Eminem. (Feel free to put in your own oc insert as well)

Description - Y/n decides to have a little get together at her house where she gets to spark interests again with her old friend that she hasn't seen since high school.

Warnings - Explicit language, drinking, vomiting, pill or tablet taking

Requested by @heyitstial

Y/n adjusted the plant pot on the coffee table for the 100th time making sure it looked “perfect”. One of her good friends Dre was coming over with a friend of his and she wanted to make sure that her apartment was spick and span. Dre hadn't told Y/n who his friend was and whenever she asked he'd just respond with: “It's a surprise!”

Y/n sat on the sofa and patiently waited for Dre and his friend to show up. Moments later, the doorbell rang as its playful tune rippled throughout the house. Y/n immediately got up and dusted her jeans off before opening the door.

She was immediately met by Dre smiling at her widely with his arms stretched for a hug. Y/n hugged him as he felt his arms around her waist, engulfing her in a warm hug.

When Y/n pulled away she couldn't help but smile. “I've missed you. I haven't seen you in ages.” She said gleefully.

“For real. And speaking of people you haven't seen in ages…” Dre stepped to the side to reveal the Marshall Mathers standing right by Y/n's door.

“Holy crap! Marshall!” Y/n exclaimed as she hugged her old friend.

Her and Marshall were best friends with each other back in high school. They were inseparable and literally attached to the hip. After Marshall had dropped out of high school, they stopped seeing each as often. Then eventually along the way, they lost communication completely and hadn't heard from each other in a few years.

Marshall looked completely different from what Y/n could remember of him. His fluffy brown hair had been replaced with a bleached buzz cut and his teeth looked less crooked. He had small hoop earrings and definitely developed more muscles as well. He looked somewhat… cute.

“How do you guys know each other?” Y/n asked.

“I'm helping Marshall out with his new album. And while we were in the studio the other week, I told him how I was gonna visit you. He said you sounded familiar so I showed him that picture of us when we went to New York and he recognised you. So I decided to surprise you.” Dre replied.

“Wow, that is amazing.” Y/n said.

“Small world, huh?” Marshall said.

“Well, come in, come in.” Y/n said, stepping aside so they had space go inside.

Dre and Marshall stepped in and took off their shoes as they looked around at the living room. They observed in awe at how beautiful and well organised the place looked.

“Damn girl. This is great. How'd you get this?” Dre asked.

“Saved up enough money.” Y/n responded. “Uh, sit down.” She chuckled awkwardly. She wasn't really used to guests coming over to her house.

Dre and Marshall sat down on the sofa opposite to the seat Y/n was sitting in. They made themselves comfortable and leaned into the softness of the cosy sofa.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Y/n asked.

“Hey, uh. Do you ever have people over here?” Dre asked, forgetting Y/n's question.

“Oh, uh no. You guys are actually my first guests here.” Y/n responded.

“Hey how about we invite a friend over and you invite a few of your friends over and we have a small get together? This seems like the perfect place for it.”

Y/n really wanted to say no, she wasn't the biggest party person out there. With work always being her top priority, she never really had time to sit down and relax or to go out with her friends. But being the people pleaser she was, she agreed. At least she'd have some of her friends over too.

“Who are you gonna get?” Marshall asked.

“I'll call Proof. I'll tell him to get drinks as well.” Dre responded. He looked over to Y/n. “Do you have a telephone?” He asked.

Pointed over to a small rounded table where a red telephone was placed. “Right over there.”

Dre thanked her before going over to call Proof. In the meantime, Y/n tried to make conversation with her old friend.

“So, how have you been?” Y/n asked.

“I'm good. I've got a kid now.” Marshall replied.

“Oh, that's amazing.”

“Yeah.. her name's Hailie. She's 4 right now.”

“I bet she's adorable.”

“Oh yeah, she is the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

“Is the mother in the picture?” As soon as those words left Y/n's mouth she wished she could take it back. Sure, her and Marshall were great friends but she hadn't seen him ages, she didn't have to pry around in his business. “Sorry, that was a personal question. I shouldn't have asked that.”

“Hey, don't sweat it. It's you asking so I don't mind. But uh, yeah. The mother’s Kim.” Marshall replied.

“Kim? Like Kim from high school?”

“Yeah. We're… married now.”

“Oh…”

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, you guys were pretty on and off in high school.”

“Yeah, no I get that. Actually, Kim found out she was pregnant a few weeks after we broke up. We got married as soon as we could.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah, but uh, it's not the best marriage. We're always arguing and fighting over dumb shit. We've resorted to an open relationship now.”

“What do you mean by open relationship?”

“Well, we're both allowing each other to date other people since we don't really have feelings for each other anymore. At this point, we're just staying together for Hailie.”

“Oh, I think I get it. So are you dating anyone?”

“Nope. Sort of wanna focus on my new album.”

“Oh yeah. How's that coming along?”

“I think it's going great.”

“I'd love to listen to it once it's released.”

“I'll send you a copy.” He chuckled.

“I like the new look by the way.” Y/n smirked as she looked at his bright bleached hair.

“Oh yeah. Thanks. It's for my persona, Slim Shady.”

“Alright, I called Proof. He's coming over with drinks. Y/n, you wanna call your friends?” Dre asked as he hung up the phone.

“Yeah, sure.”

As Dre went to sit back down, Marshall, Y/n got up to call her friends. She picked up the phone and dialled her friend, Mikayla's number. It rang for a few seconds before she picked up.

“Hi there, Mikayla speaking!” She greeted Y/n in her usual cheery tone.

Y/n smiled hearing her friend’s happy voice. “Hey girl, it's me Y/n.”

“Hey, what's up?”

“So I'm having a little get together with a few friends. Wanna come over?”

“Ooh, who's there?”

“A few guys.”

“Are they cute?”

“Yeah.”

“Fun! I'll dress extra well. What are you wearing?”

“Just a pair of jeans and a top.” Y/n replied as she looked down at her casual outfit.

“You're wearing that?”

“Yeah I know. Should I change?”

“Yes! Wear something sexy.”

Y/n could just feel Mikayla's wide smirk through the phone. “Yeah, but I don't know what to wear though.”

“Hey, how about that denim mini skirt I got you for your birthday and that cute tank top that you got from that Christmas sale?”

“That's great! I will wear that. Thank you.”

“Well, I am the fashionista friend.”

Y/n chuckled at her friend's joke. “Oh, and while I get ready, can you call Abi and let her know too?”

“Of course. I'll see you then. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Y/n hung up the phone and turned to Dre and Marshall. “Two of my friends are coming over. I'm just gonna quickly change.”

Dre and Marshall nodded as you entered your room and locked the door to get changed. In addition to the mini skirt and tank top, she wore a black push up bra too. The tank top was a bit see through but that didn't mind her. Y/n took one last look at herself in the mirror before coming out of her room.

“Looking good, Y/n.” Dre said.

“Thank you. I'm just gonna clean up the kitchen really quickly.”

What she didn't realise was Marshall absolutely stunned at how beautiful she looked. He found her cute back in high school and couldn't help but notice how much more pretty she looked since all those years ago. The new pair of clothes she was wearing fit her perfectly well. The mini skirt made her legs look elegant and the bra highlighted her breasts perfectly. And to top it off, the tank top she was wearing bought the whole look together to make it all the better.

As soon as she stepped foot in the kitchen and closed the door, Dre immediately turned to Marshall.

“You like her, don't you?” Dre asked with a dumb smile on his face.

“As a friend? Yeah.” Marshall replied.

Dre slapped the back of his head and tsked. “Man, not like that. You're into her.”

“No I'm not, we're just friends.”

“Really, cause you were taking a good long look at her. As your face is red as a tomato.”

“It's just hot in here.”

“Man, stop playing with me.”

A few seconds later, the doorbell rang and Y/n immediately left the kitchen to open it. She was met by her friends Mikayla and Abi who immediately engulfed her in a friendly hug.

“You look cute!” Abi said.

“So do you!” Y/n replied. “You look cute too Mikayla, come in.”

Mikayla and Abi stepped in and immediately jumped onto the empty sofa. They came over often so they treated the place like their second home.

“Hey there, girls. Y’all look great.” Dre said.

“Say, you look awfully familiar.” Mikayla said.

“Well, I am Dr. Dre.”

“You are?” Abi exclaimed.

“The one and only.” He replied with a smile.

“Is he lying?” Mikayla asked Y/n.

“Not at all.” She replied.

“You never bothered to tell us?” Abi said.

“Yeah, we I didn't think you'd believe me.” Y/n said, sitting with her friends on the sofa.

“Dude, my little brother, Mike, is so obsessed with you.” Mikayla said.

“Oh really? Should I autograph something for him?” Dre asked.

“He wouldn't believe me even if I had an autograph.”

“I have a polaroid camera. I can take a picture of you both and Dre can sign it.” Y/n offered.

“That sounds great.” Dre said.

Y/n went to get her polaroid camera from her room and swiftly came back. Marshall got off the sofa to let Mikayla sit down next to Dre. He sat down next to Y/n as their shoulders slowly brushed.

Y/n bought the camera up to her eye, her finger hovering over the capture button.

“Alright, ready?”

“Ready!” Dre and Mikayla and Abi said I'm unison.

Y/n hit the capture button as a bright flash came from the camera followed by shutter sound. And at that same moment, Proof burst into the house with 3 six packs of beer.

“What's on you guys!” He cheered as he held the pack up and stuck his tongue out.

Marshall chuckled at Proof's energetic greeting.

“Man, what took you so long?” Dre asked.

“Cashier lady was being a bitch. She thought my ID was fake.” Proof said as he sat down next to Dre. “What's up, Marsh?” Proof asked as he dabbed him up.

The polaroid developed and Y/n chuckled at it. Dre and Mikayla were smiling on the couch and in the background was Proof holding up the 6 packs with an energetic expression on his face. She handed it over to Dre and Mikayla who laughed at the sight of it.

“I'll sign my name right over your face.” Dre said teasingly at Proof.

“Man, fuck you.” Proof chuckled.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Dre said. “I bought a cassette with the tracks Marshall's done so far for his album.” Dre reached out in the pocket of his hoodie and pulled a cassette out.

“Why did you bring that?” Marshall asked as he tried to snatch it off.

“What? Let them listen, I think it's great man and you know it too. You got a cassette radio?” He asked Y/n.

“Yup.” Y/n reached under the TV stand where a cassette radio was. She took it out and placed it on the coffee table.

Dre put the cassette in and hit play. A few moments later, the first track started playing. It started off with a catchy beat followed by Marshall's voice. His voice easily flowed through the beat and his lyrics felt immaculate. Marshall groaned as he sat back on the sofa.

“I think it's pretty good.” Y/n said as she turned her head to look at Marshall.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I'm being serious, Marsh.” She playfully pushed his knee.

Marshall jokingly flipped her off to which she happily returned the favour as old high school memories started flooding back to her.

As the music played through the background, everyone introduced each other and talked for a while. Proof eventually opened one of the 6 packs and passed everyone a beer.

“What is this?” Abi asked as she inspected the can.

“Beer, duh. Drink up!” Proof responded.

“I very much prefer Y/n's blue cocktail.” Abi said as she leaned her head on her friend's shoulder.

“It's Y/n's best cocktail. She works at a bar.” Mikayla said.

“What bar you work at?” Proof asked.

“Pink Pristine.” Y/n responded.

“Holy shit, you work at Pink Pristine?” Marshall said as he sat up.

“Yeah, I've been there for a while.”

“Ain't that the bar where all the rich people go?” Proof asked.

“Yeah, that's the one.”

“No wonder you got such a nice house.” Marshall aside.

“We love Y/n's blue cocktail. She always makes it for us.” Mikayla said.

“Blue cocktail?” Dre asked.

“I haven't found a good name for it.”

“Can you please make us some?” Abi asked. She looked up at Y/n with a pouty expression and wide eyes.

“I don't have all the ingredients for it, sorry.” Y/n said.

Mikayla and Abi both groaned in disappointment.

“Alright then, drink up!” Proof said.

Everyone cracked open their beer bottles and said cheers before drinking up. Y/n wasn't the biggest fan of beer; the bitter taste made her throat dry and left a terrible scent in her mouth.

“Anyone wanna try chugging the beer against me?” Proof asked.

“What?” Abi said in confusion.

“Me and another person both chug their beers and see who lasts the longest without stopping.” He explained. “Anyone up? Marshall?” Proof looked at him with a sly expression.

“Nah, man. I threw up like crazy last time.” Marshall said.

Proof looked around at everyone else, hoping for an answer. But he was only met with a thick silence. He was about to give up until Y/n spoke up.

“I'll do it.” She said, feeling determined.

“Alright then! Let's go! First to chug 3 wins.”

“Are you sure?” Mikayla said.

“I'll be fine.” Y/n responded.

Proof and Y/n both got ready to chug down their beers as Dre started the countdown. He did it slowly, which built up a lot of tension and a suspenseful manner.

“3, 2, 1… Go!” Dre said.

Y/n immediately started chugging down her drink as fast as she could. The bitter taste of the alcohol made her throat dry. However, she still continued to chug the drink down like it was nothing. She could hear everyone else cheering and whooping for them, encouraging them to go faster.

Y/n and Proof had finished their first can at around the same time and they were already onto the next one. She chugged that one down, already feeling the struggle to keep up. Proof was easily chugging it down like it was water meanwhile Y/n was scrunching her nose up at the scent.

When it got to the third can, Y/n could feel some of the beer trickling down her chin and down her neck. She decided she couldn't take it anymore and that she'd let Proof take the win. Y/n took the half empty cab off her lips, finally giving up, only for her to accidentally spill the rest of the beer onto her shirt and skirt.

The loud and supportive cheering was replaced by gasps. The beer had only made her shirt more see through, revealing her bra underneath more. She quickly got up to go change as her friends followed behind her.

“Yo, are you okay?” Proof asked.

“I'm fine!” Y/n called back before entering her bedroom.

“Did you guys see Marshall's face?” Mikayla asked quietly as soon as Y/n shut the door.

“No, why?” Y/n responded.

“He went all red and couldn't take his eyes off you.” Mikayla explained.

“He likes you!” Abi exclaimed.

“He doesn't. We're just old friends.” Y/n said.

“Old friends?” Mikayla asked.

“Yeah, we were best friends in high school.”

“Did you guys ever date?” Abi asked.

“No.. but we kissed once.”

“You did?!” Abi and Mikayla exclaimed at the same time.

“Shhh! But yes, we did. It was once. Then we never talked about it.”

Y/n changed her shirt and bra out for something more comfortable. She decided to wear a sports bra and an old baggy shirt on top.

When they came out of the room, Y/n could sense some sort of tension in the living room. Marshall's face was blushing red as a a tomato. He looked more embarrassed than flustered.

“Everything okay?” Y/n asked as she placed her hand on Marshall's shoulder.

“Yeah everything's fine.” He replied.

“Hey should I order pizza?” Y/n asked.

“Oh, yeah that's good. Let's do that.” Dre said.

Y/n called the pizza place nearby and placed an order for a large pepperoni pizza and for a large meat feast pizza too.

“Are we even gonna finish all of this?” Y/n asked as she sat back down.

“Hey, me, Dre and Marshall can easily have a whole pizza for ourselves.” Proof reassured jokingly.

A few minutes passed and the pizza arrived. Everyone was starting so they were pumped to get their hands on a slice. They all reached in and took a bite, feeling at ease.

Y/n could feel her stomach churn as she ate the pizza. Perhaps pizza and 2 and half cans of beer weren't the best combination to have. She started to feel queasy so she decided to have a glass of water. Y/n could feel that uncomfortable feeling in her stomach slowly drifting away from her as she finished the water.

As minutes passed, everyone decided to sit on the couch and talk with each other for a while as music radio played. As the previous song faded, a new one started to play. It started off with a snappy beat and then followed by a female voice. It was the type of music you'd hear at a club or at a bar.

“Ooh! I love this song.” Abi said, smiling widely.

“I like this song too. Care to dance?” Proof asked smoothly as he offered his hand.

Abi instantly put her hand in his as the both stood up to dance. They both put their hands on each other and held each other close as they swayed to the music.

“Guys, join in!” Abi said.

“Yeah, get your asses off the couch.” Proof chimed in.

Dre and Mikayla gave each other a look before shrugging at each other and going off to dance. Y/n looked at Marshall with a sly smile.

“Care to dance?” She asked.

“Why not?” Marshall said.

They both got up to dance along with the others too. Marshall placed his hand on Y/n's waist as she placed her ls on the sides of his neck. They pulled each other closer and swayed to the music. Their foreheads touched as the tip of their noses came to contact too.

Y/n felt the space around her getting hot and stuffy. Her cheeks came to a bright pink colour from the heat as she felt beads of sweat trickling down the back of her neck.

“Hey, you okay there?” Marshall asked.

“Just a bit hot.” Y/n replied.

“Do you wanna step outside?”

“Yes please.”

With that decision, they went out to the back garden where they stood on the wood porch. The sky was dark and looked majestic with the twinkling stars and bright moon staring down on them.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Marshall asked.

“What?” Y/n asked curiously.

“When we snuck into that disco that the school was hosting cause we had to pay to go.”

Y/n gasped slightly as the memory started flooding back to her mind. “I remember! We danced for a bit, we got caught and stole snacks.”

“Yes!” Marshall chuckled. “And then we just kinda sat outside and watched the moon. And then we were talking and then…”

“We kissed.” Y/n said softly as she watched the grass rustle in the gentle wind.

“Yeah…”

“That was my first kiss actually.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not at all.”

They both looked at each other for a moment before leaning in slightly. But in that moment, Y/n felt her stomach getting queasy again as it tied up in twists and turns. She could feel a weird itchy feeling coming from her throat.

Shit.

She covered her mouth and turned around, vomiting into the nearest plant pot. Well, there goes her aloe vera. Marshall immediately held her hair up and stroked her back gently. His touch was calming and made her feel more at ease.

“Hey, if you don't feel well, I'll tell everyone to go home okay?” Marshall said.

“Okay, could you do that please?” Y/n replied.

Marshall quickly informed everyone about Y/n to which they were immediately concerned, especially Mikayla and Abi.

“Is she okay?” Abi asked.

“We wanna see her.” Mikayla said.

“She's fine but she needs space. It's best if everyone leaves.” Marshall stated.

“You coming with us?” Dre asked.

“I'll stay here to help her clean up. I can call a cab afterwards. I'll be fine.” Marshall insisted.

“Alright, man. Call me when you get home.” Proof said.

And with that, everyone but Marshall left. He took her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up while he cleaned up. He threw away all the empty beer cans and put the leftover pizza in some tupperware to leave in the fridge. He then hoovered and disposed of the aloe vera plant.

“Thank you, Marshall.” Y/n said as she stood by the doorpost on the living room door.

“Yeah, of course. I'm gonna get a cab and leave. Goodnight.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“It's 2 am. You can stay over, I think that's best.”

“No, it's fine. Don't worry. I don't wanna bother you.”

“You won't bother me Marshall. You're my friend. I have a guest bedroom. Feel free to stay there. I'll quickly clean it.”

“Hey, don't bother. It's fine.”

“Please…”

“Okay, I'll stay, but you don't have to clean the room. I just need to call Proof quickly and let him know.”

Y/n nodded and bid him goodnight before going over to her bedroom to take a fully deserved sleep. After Marshall informed Proof, he also went to sleep on the guest bed and slowly drifted to a slumber.

In the middle of the night, Y/n woke up with the sudden urge to have a glass of water. Her mouth felt dry and she needed to quench her thirst. She laid in bed for a minute before finally getting up. She'd probably had to take a tablet too for her killer headache she was just starting to deal with.

She noticed that the light in the kitchen was on, Marshall was probably in there. When she opened the door, she was met with Marshall turning on the tap and getting himself some water.

“Hey.” Y/n said gently, not wanting to startle him.

“Oh hey.” He replied as looked up at her with a soft smile. “Also craving some water?”

“Yup. And something for my killer headache.”

She rummaged through her cupboards and found ibuprofen. She took some cold water, immediately satisfying the dry feeling in her mouth.

“Listen, about earlier outside. I'm sorry-” Y/n started.

“Don't be sorry.”

Before she could say anything else, he sealed her lips with a gentle kiss. The gentleness of kiss soon became replaced with the feeling of desire and having to fulfil a desperate need.

“Do you wanna sleep with me tonight?” Y/n offered.

“Sure.”

Moments later, Y/n found herself laying head against Marshall's chest and playing with the fabric of his shirt on her bed.

“I'm sorry for losing contact with you over the years.” Y/n apologised.

“It's my fault too.” Marshall insisted.

“Why don't we try giving this a chance?”

“I like the sound of that.”

Marshall kissed her head before they both fell asleep in each other's embrace.

#eminem #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers x reader #slim shady #slim shady x reader #8 mile #b rabbit #b rabbit x reader #jimmy smith jr #jimmy smith jr x reader

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tomorrowusa · 11 months ago

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Don't risk a rerun of the 2000 election.

In the first presidential election of the 21st century many deluded progressives voted for Green Party candidate Ralph Nader.

Their foolishness gave us eight years of George W. Bush who plagued the country with two recessions (including the Great Recession) and two wars (one totally unnecessary and one which could have been avoided if he heeded an intelligence brief 5 weeks before 9/11).

Oh yeah, Dubya also appointed one conservative and one batshit crazy reactionary to the US Supreme Court. Roberts and Alito are still there.

Paul Waldman of the Washington Post offers some thoughts.

Why leftists should work their hearts out for Biden in 2024

Ask a Democrat with a long memory what the numbers 97,488 and 537 represent, and their face will twist into a grimace. The first is the number of votes Ralph Nader received in Florida in 2000 as the nominee of the Green Party; the second is the margin by which George W. Bush was eventually certified the winner of the state, handing him the White House. Now, with President Biden gearing up for reelection, talk of a spoiler candidate from the left is again in the air. That’s unfortunate, because here’s the truth: The past 2½ years under Biden have been a triumph for progressivism, even if it’s not in most people’s interest to admit it. This was not what most people expected from Biden, who ran as a relative moderate in the 2020 Democratic primary. His nomination was a victory for pragmatism with its eyes directed toward the center. But today, no one can honestly deny that Biden is the most progressive president since at least Lyndon B. Johnson. His judicial appointments are more diverse than those of any of his predecessors. He has directed more resources to combating climate change than any other president. Notwithstanding the opposition from the Supreme Court, his administration has moved aggressively to forgive and restructure student loans.

Three years ago the economy was in horrible shape because of Trump's mishandling of the pandemic. Now unemployment is steadily below 4%, job creation continues to exceed expectations, and wages are rising as unions gain strength. The post-pandemic, post-Afghan War inflation rate has receded to near normal levels; people in the 1970s would have sold their souls for a 3.2% (and dropping) inflation rate. And many of the effects of "Bidenomics" have yet to kick in.

And in a story that is criminally underappreciated, his administration’s policy reaction to the covid-induced recession of 2020 was revolutionary in precisely the ways any good leftist should favor. It embraced massive government intervention to stave off the worst economic impacts, including handing millions of families monthly checks (by expanding the child tax credit), giving all kids in public schools free meals, boosting unemployment insurance and extending health coverage to millions.

It worked. While inflation rose (as it did worldwide), the economy’s recovery has been blisteringly fast. It took more than six years for employment rates to return to what they were before the Great Recession hit in 2008, but we surpassed January 2020 jobs levels by the spring of 2022 — and have kept adding jobs ever since. To the idealistic leftist, that might feel like both old news and a partial victory at best. What about everything supporters of Bernie Sanders have found so thrilling about the Vermont senator’s vision of the future, from universal health care to free college? It’s true Biden was never going to deliver that, but to be honest, neither would Sanders had he been elected president. And that brings me to the heart of how people on the left ought to think about Biden and his reelection.

Biden has gotten things done. The US economy is doing better than those of almost every other advanced industrialized country.

Our rivals China and Russia are both worse off than they were three years ago. And NATO is not just united, it's growing.

Sadly, we still need to deal with a far right MAGA cult at home who would wreck the country just to get its own way.

Biden may be elderly and unexciting, but that is one of the reasons he won in 2020. Many people just wanted an end to the daily drama of Trump's capricious and incompetent rule by tweet. And a good portion of those people live in places that count greatly in elections – suburbs and exurbs.

Superhero films seem to be slipping in popularity. Hopefully that's a sign that voters are less likely to embrace self-appointed political messiahs to save them from themselves.

Good governance is a steady process – not a collection of magic tricks. Experienced and competent individuals who are not too far removed from the lives of the people they represent are the best people to have in government.

Paul Waldman concludes his column speaking from the heart as a liberal...

I’ve been in and around politics for many years, and even among liberals, I’ve almost always been one of the most liberal people in the room. Yet only since Biden’s election have I realized that I will probably never see a president as liberal as I’d like. It’s not an easy idea to make peace with. But it suggests a different way of thinking about elections — as one necessary step in a long, difficult process. The further you are to the left, the more important Biden’s reelection ought to be to you. It might require emotional (and policy) compromise, but for now, it’s also the most important tool you have to achieve progressive ends.

Exactly. Rightwingers take the long view. It took them 49 years but they eventually got Roe v. Wade overturned. To succeed, we need to look upon politics as an extended marathon rather as one short sprint.

Republicans may currently be bickering, but they will most likely unite behind whichever anti-abortion extremist they nominate.

It's necessary to get the word out now that the only way to defeat climate-denying, abortion-restricting, assault weapon-loving, race-baiting, homophobic Republicans is to vote Democratic.

#paul waldman #liberalism #election 2000 #election 2024 #joe biden #third parties #vote blue no matter who #donald trump #dumpster fire #trumpster fire #fascism vs. democracy #nra republicans #abortion #climate change #lgbtq+ rights #race-baiting #take the political long view #phil hands

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reidsworld · 3 months ago

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Birthday Headcanons

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Mars speaks… some long birthday HC’s cause I turned 19 today😛

Masterlist | Divider from @/saradika-graphics

His birthday’s

2000s

Birthdays aren’t something Logan’s ever celebrated much—years have passed like a blur for him, and he’s lost track of more than a few. But when you find out, you decide he’s overdue for some fun. You throw a little party at the mansion, much to his protest, but he shows up anyway, grumbling about “not needing all this fuss.”

You make him a cake, and when he sees it, he rolls his eyes, muttering, “You know I can’t get drunk, right?” But there’s a smile tugging at his lips as he cuts into it, pretending not to notice the candles you insisted he blow out.

You gift him a brand-new leather jacket, knowing he’s worn his old one down to threads. He tries to act like he doesn’t care, but the way he runs his hand over the material, admiring it, gives him away. Later, you catch him in front of the mirror, adjusting the collar with a little grin.

The rest of the team tries to get him to do something fun, like karaoke or dancing. He’s resistant at first, leaning back in his chair with a gruff, “Not a chance.” But as the night goes on, and you’re smiling at him in that way that makes his heart skip, he relents, grumbling, “Alright, just this once.”

After everyone’s gone to bed, he finds you alone in the kitchen, and he leans against the counter, giving you that half-smirk. “Not the worst birthday I’ve ever had,” he admits, then pulls you into a slow, sweet kiss, his thumb brushing along your jawline.

2010s

By now, Logan’s a bit more aware of his age, though he’ll never admit it out loud. Birthdays are still not his thing, but he knows you won’t let it slide, so he tries to act surprised when you hand him a small, wrapped gift. He makes a show of sniffing it first, “Just making sure it’s not rigged.”

You take him out for a quiet dinner—some place low-key where he doesn’t have to pretend to be anything other than himself. He seems more relaxed, his shoulders lose some of their tension, and he’s even more talkative than usual, sharing stories you haven’t heard before, things from way back.

Later, you take him back to the mansion, where you’ve arranged a little surprise—a playlist of his favourite songs, heavy on The Rolling Stones. He groans, “Seriously?” but then a smile breaks through, and he pulls you into a dance, grumbling all the while that his moves aren’t what they used to be. He holds you close, his forehead resting against yours, swaying gently.

You give him a photo album you put together of all the people and places that have mattered to him over the years—some old, some new. He’s quiet for a while as he flips through the pages, but you catch the way his fingers linger over certain photos, his eyes softer than usual.

That night, he admits, “Maybe getting older isn’t so bad… if I’ve got you.” He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into bed, and kisses you like he’s trying to make every moment count.

2020s

By now, Logan’s gotten used to his body betraying him, and birthdays have become a painful reminder of time slipping away. He doesn’t expect much, doesn’t even remember it’s his birthday until you remind him. “Yeah, yeah… another year older,” he grumbles, but there’s a hint of a smile he’s trying to hide.

You’ve planned a quiet day, just the two of you. He doesn’t have the energy for much, but he appreciates the simplicity—a drive in his old truck, a stop at a little diner where they don’t bother him, just letting him enjoy his coffee in peace.

You surprise him with an old vinyl, something rare you tracked down just for him. “Where’d you find this?” he asks, his voice low, almost reverent. He places the record on, and as the music fills the room, he closes his eyes, letting out a slow breath, the tension easing from his shoulders.

That night, he opens up more than he usually does, sharing bits and pieces of memories you’ve never heard before, his voice softer, more reflective. “I guess I’ve lived a long damn life,” he says quietly, his hand wrapped around yours. “Never thought I’d make it this far.”

Before bed, he pulls you into his lap, his hands tracing familiar patterns on your back. “Thanks for sticking around, even when I’m a grumpy old bastard,” he mutters. You laugh, and he presses a kiss to your temple, whispering, “I mean it. I’m damn lucky to have you.”

As you fall asleep beside him, you feel his arms tighten around you, and he murmurs, “Maybe next year, we’ll make it a big one. Just to see what all the fuss is about.” You smile, knowing it’s his way of saying he’s not done fighting yet, not done living, as long as he’s got you by his side.

Your birthday’s

2000s

Logan’s not the best at remembering dates, but he surprises you by remembering your birthday. He tries to act all casual about it, like it’s no big deal, but you catch him sneaking off to ask Jean or Ororo what people usually do for birthdays. When the day comes, he shows up with a small, slightly crumpled bouquet of wildflowers, mumbling something about how “flowers seemed like the right thing.”

He takes you out on his bike, just the two of you, racing through empty roads, wind in your hair, and the world blurring past. You stop at a quiet spot, overlooking the city, and he surprises you with a bottle of wine he swiped from the mansion’s cellar. “Don’t tell Scott,” he jokes with a grin, his eyes twinkling under the moonlight.

You make a wish before blowing out the candles on the cake the team got you, and he leans in, whispering, “Hope you wished for somethin’ good.” There’s a hint of mischief in his voice, and when you ask if he wants to know what you wished for, he just smirks, “Nah, I’ll find out eventually.”

Later, he slips a little gift into your hand—a simple, but beautiful necklace with a tiny charm. “Picked it up on my last trip,” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal, but there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “Figured you might like it.” You can tell he put a lot of thought into it, and when you thank him, he just gives you a rare, genuine smile.

2010s

By now, Logan’s gotten better at the whole “birthday thing.” He doesn’t plan anything extravagant, but he knows you well enough to give you a day that’s just right. He starts with breakfast in bed—pancakes, scrambled eggs, and your favourite coffee, even though he grumbles about “not being a chef.”

He takes you to a small bookstore that you love, the kind with creaky floors and shelves that stretch to the ceiling. You spend hours browsing, and he’s surprisingly patient, leaning against the wall, flipping through some old paperbacks. When you’re not looking, he buys the books you were eyeing and hands them to you as a surprise later on.

The two of you spend the afternoon outside, just lying on a blanket in the park, enjoying the peace and quiet. He brings a small speaker and plays some of your favourite songs, mixed in with a few of his own. “Gotta educate you on the classics,” he teases, grinning as The Rolling Stones play in the background. You end up dancing together, your laughter filling the air, and he looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters.

As the day winds down, he pulls you close and tells you he’s got one last surprise. He takes you up to the roof of the mansion where he’s set up a few blankets and pillows, a bottle of wine, and a small picnic. The two of you watch the sunset, his arm wrapped around you, and he says softly, “Happy birthday, darlin’. I hope today was everything you wanted.”

That night, he holds you close, pressing soft kisses to your temple and murmuring, “I don’t need a special day to show ya how much you mean to me… but I’m glad you got one.” And he falls asleep holding you, a rare peaceful expression on his face.

2020s

At this point, Logan knows you well enough to plan a birthday that’s completely tailored to you. He starts the day with a quiet breakfast, letting you sleep in while he cooks your favourite meal. There’s a soft smile on his face as he brings you coffee, knowing exactly how you like it. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

He knows big celebrations aren’t your thing anymore, so he keeps it simple—a road trip to somewhere you’ve never been. He lets you pick the destination, and you end up at a secluded cabin by a lake, where it’s just the two of you and the sound of nature all around. “Figured we could use the peace,” he says with a grin, his eyes soft as he looks at you.

Throughout the day, he surprises you with little things—a book you’ve been wanting, a sweater in your favourite colour, even a rare bottle of whiskey he managed to find. “Not as good as what they had back in the day,” he jokes, “but it’ll do.”

He takes you out on the lake in a small boat, rowing you around under the afternoon sun. There’s a calmness about him, a contentment you don’t often see, and he reaches out to take your hand, squeezing it gently. “Thanks for stickin’ around all these years,” he says softly, his voice filled with more emotion than usual.

As the sun sets, he lights a small campfire, and the two of you sit together, watching the stars come out one by one. He wraps a blanket around your shoulders and pulls you close, whispering in your ear, “You deserve more than I could ever give you… but I’ll spend the rest of my life tryin’.”

That night, you fall asleep in his arms, his heartbeat steady against your back, and he murmurs, “Here’s to another year with you, darlin’.” His voice is low, gravelly, and filled with a kind of love that only seems to grow stronger with time.

The next morning, you wake up to find him cooking breakfast again, grumbling about “getting the hang of it” and how he’s going to “make sure every damn birthday from now on is better than the last.” And you know he means it, in that way that’s so uniquely Logan.

Mars speaks... (again) I've been super busy lately with school so hope this will hold y'all over till I can post again lmao. any and all feedback is always appreciated🫶

#logan howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett headcanon #logan howlett fanfiction #wolverine #wolverine x reader #deadpool and wolverine #hugh jackman #x men #fanfiction #headcanon #reidsworld

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corroded-hellfire · 11 months ago

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Like it’s 1999 - Eddie Munson x Reader

An As You Wish Story

Collaboration with the peanut butter to my jelly @munson-blurbs ✨

Summary: Your first New Year’s Eve as Eddie’s girl comes with meeting all his old friends at the Harrington’s party. It turns out to be great fun, but losing track of time leads you to miss out on something you’ve been looking forward to.

Note: Wishing a Happy New Year to all of you lovelies!

Warnings: older!eddie, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, talk about shitty parents (gee, I wonder who)

Words: 4.3k

[As You Wish masterlist]

Walking up to the Harrington house shouldn’t be as daunting as it feels right now. You work here three days a week, bringing Ryan and Luke over to babysit the Munson and Harrington clans together. But you’re not coming here to work today; you’re coming for the New Year’s Eve party Steve and Nancy are throwing.

The house is now filled with friends and family of the Harrington’s, most of whom you haven’t met. And of the ones you have met, it’s only been a handful of times or in passing since you started babysitting for the Munsons. You’ve been lucky enough to become acquainted with Steve and Nancy over the past months and feel honored enough to call them not just your boyfriend’s friends, but your friends now as well. Max and Lucas will be here and the handful of times you’ve met them have been nice. You’ve had entertaining conversations with Max and even got to spend time with their daughter Tiffany a few times.

Dustin is another of Eddie’s friends who you’ve seen here and there, but never for long periods of time since he lives too far away to visit regularly. He’s bringing his new girlfriend, Jennifer, tonight, who Eddie has said is great, but this is the first time you’ll be meeting her. And she is just the first one on the list of people you’ll be meeting tonight for the first time.

Nancy’s little brother Mike and his wife El will be here tonight and you’re just hoping that Mike is as easy to talk to as his sister is. A high school friend named Will is bringing his boyfriend named Cody, but you at least are in the same boat with Eddie on this one because he hasn’t met Cody yet either. And then there’s Robin and Vickie, who you’ve been told have been together since high school. Luckily, Eddie has assured you that Robin can do enough talking for the both of you, so not to worry about any awkward conversations—well, ones with awkward silences, anyway.

Your slightly uncomfortable, yet enviably cute shoes click as you come to a stop in front of the Harrington’s door. Eddie’s hand squeezes yours and the feeling of his larger hand holding yours so safely has some of your anxiety abating. Eddie had known the moment you two had received the invitation that you would be nervous about this. He left the choice up to you if you wanted to attend or not. Being with Eddie meant getting to know those who are important to him, though. A little discomfort is nothing when you think about it like that.

“We can go, sweetheart,” Eddie tells you now that you’re at the literal threshold of the party. “We don’t have to do this.”

You don’t have to do this is what you know he means.

With as much fake courage as you can muster, you shake your head and give Eddie the best smile you can manage. “I want to.”

And you do. It’s certainly better than the party your friends from school invited you to tonight. Being in a crowded and smoky bar where you can barely hear yourself think is not your idea of fun. It’s really just an excuse to find someone to kiss at midnight, then take home for some fun for the next few hours until someone gets kicked out and is forced to do the walk of shame. Not something you’d ever been interested in, really. Besides, why be there when you can be with Eddie?

Your boyfriend knocks on the door and a few moments later a grinning Steve opens it, sporting a pair of novelty “2000” eyeglasses, his hazel brown eyes peering out from the second and third zeroes. There’s music coming from the living room, and you can smell the different hors d'oeuvres that must be set out around the party area. Conversations and laughter float down to the door as well and the prospect of joining in on that makes your tummy do a little flip.

“Hey, Munson! Lady Munson! Come on in.” Steve’s clearly already gotten into the alcohol.

Eddie ushers you into the house before him and helps you out of your jacket. Steve takes both of your coats and hangs them in the closet near the front door. The host leads you further into the house and to the room where adults are milling about, glasses of different colored liquor in most hands, and smiles on almost every face. Stepping into this room without any of the children feels odd. This is where you usually wait with the younger ones while the big kids finish up their homework. Part of you wishes the kids were there because they’re always good to use as a bit of a buffer if you need one in social situations.

Tonight, all Munson and Harrington children are having sleepovers at a grandparent’s house. The Harrington girls are staying with Nancy’s parents, while the boys are with Steve’s. Ryan and Luke are spending the night at Wayne’s, as it’s one of his few precious nights off.

“You don’t mind that your New Year’s Eve plans are watching the boys?” Eddie had asked.

“Plans? Only plan I have is to take advantage of the night off and get as much sleep as I can.”

“Eddie and the lovely lady that is far too good for him have arrived,” Steve announces to the room. Your cheeks heat up at Steve’s words, but Eddie just rolls his eyes and pushes his friend out of his way.

It feels like every eye in the room lands on you and it’s making your nerves creep back up. Not everyone is looking at you, you try to assure yourself, but the jitters have settled in and have you feeling self-conscious. What if they don’t like me? you think. These people are practically Eddie’s family. I need them to like me. They’re going to think I’m not good enough. That I’m too young. Too stupid. That I’m just some young girl Eddie decided to have a fun fling with after getting divorced—

Max comes over to your side and it shakes you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“Hey!” The redhead greets. “It’s so nice to see you again.” She pulls you in for a hug that has your anxious thoughts starting to abate.

“You too!” you say. “How’s Tiffany?” Can't seem to stop talking about the kids, can you?

“She’s great. Talking and walking now, so a complete handful. Oh!” Max catches the attention of a woman about her height with chin length brown hair who stops and smiles at you. “Have you met El?”

“Nice to meet you.” El timidly but kindly extends her hand and you shake it, beginning an evening of greeting new and familiar faces.

By the end of your first lap of talking with everyone, you’re pretty sure you remember everyone’s name, but not necessarily how they all relate to one another—-except Mike. The way he and Nancy bicker at one another occasionally keeps it fresh in your mind that he’s her little brother. Not to mention, the drunker Steve gets, the more he begs Mike to call him ‘big bro.’

“You know,” Robin says, nudging Eddie’s arm with her own, “I don’t think we’ve all been together for New Year’s Eve since ‘92.”

Eddie thinks for a moment, rubbing a hand over his mouth and chin. “God,” he says with a laugh. “That was before Luke.”

“And Corroded Coffin performed!” Dustin adds, flashing a smile that seems to be missing a few teeth.

“You ever see your boyfriend being a rockstar?” Lucas asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

That certainly piques your interest. “I have not.” You turn to Eddie with a giddy smile on your face.

Sheepishness pinkens Eddie’s cheeks. “I wasn’t a rockstar,” he mumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Max almost chokes on her vodka cranberry and lets out a scoff. “Since when are you modest?” she asks with a cocked brow.

Eddie narrows his eyes at Max and opens his mouth to speak, but you interrupt first. “Eddie, shhh, I wanna hear about my rockstar boyfriend!” you tease. “Did you have lots of groupies?”

He groans but drapes his arm over your shoulders as his friends begin to tell you about the band.

“I don’t even like metal, but they were good,” Robin pipes up from where she’s pouring herself another drink.

“They were weekly regulars at this bar,” Dustin explains. “They would sneak us in because we were too young to get into the bar.”

“Actually,” Max says, turning to Eddie, “so were you.”

Eddie shrugs. “I never questioned it.”

“Anyway,” Dustin continues, practically shaking with excitement, “they could play any metal song you could think of. He learned Master of Puppets in a week, and that song is like twelve minutes long.”

“It’s only eight,” Eddie protests, but his friend ignores him completely.

“Whatever. The point is, Corroded Coffin was probably the best band this town has ever seen, and it’s all because of Eddie.” He nudges him with an elbow to the ribs. “Hey, do the move!”

Eddie coughs, face fully red. “Henderson, I don’t know what you’re—”

“Yes, you do, because you’re totally blushing right now.” Dustin cackles, turning to you. “It was like this hip thrust thing, but to his guitar—”

“Okay, enough!” Eddie’s face is beet-red, burying his head in his hands. Dustin starts in again, but a glass drops in the kitchen, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Eddie Munson,” you murmur in his ear, taking advantage of this moment alone, “did you go on stage and hump your poor guitar?” Before he can respond, you tug him by his belt loop. “Can I get a private show later?”

He smirks. “Only for you, baby girl.”

As it typically goes at parties, people mingle around, always popping in and out of different conversations throughout the evening. You and Max sit on a loveseat off to the side of the room, watching Steve, Eddie, Lucas, and Will take shots. The pair of you shake your heads as you observe the men, watching in amusement as Will tries to pour more shots for everyone, no matter how much they decline.

Max isn’t quite drunk but is definitely past tipsy.

“How are you feeling hanging around with this ragtag bunch of weirdos?” she asks once the entertainment of watching the men has worn off.

You chuckle and shake your head. “It’s not as scary as I thought it would be, honestly. And I definitely wouldn’t call you guys weirdos.”

Max pauses, biting her cheek. “It’s really nice to see Eddie with someone who actually appreciates him. Who genuinely loves him, y’know.” She lowers her voice. “I’m not trying to turn this into a bitching session about his ex, but—”

“I am!” More than a few drinks in, Nancy slings one arm over your shoulder and the other around Max’s. The scent of vodka wafts from her mouth. “God, she was the worst! I don’t even know what he saw in her.” She wrinkles her nose. “She wasn’t even that pretty. Like, yeah, maybe a little bit, but not enough to make up for being a total hag!” She cackles like it’s the funniest joke in the world.

Your mind flashes back to how beautiful Brittany actually is, but Nancy’s true drunk feelings warm your heart.

“Yeah, she’s definitely a piece of work,” you say with a humorless chuckle.

“Oh honey,” Max says, “we all know that’s the understatement of the century. She’s a grade A bitch and any time you want to shit talk her, you’ve got a house full of people here ready to chime in.”

“Really?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. “Everyone here hates her?”

“Well, I’m not sure if Cody or Jennifer ever met her, but everyone else, yeah,” Max says with a shrug.

A warmth blooms in your chest. Even though you know Brittany is horrific, and Eddie knows it as well, it’s different to hear it from an outside source. His friends could see the relationship from another perspective, and it seems they came to the same conclusion: Brittany is a spawn of satan. It’s validating and it also makes everyone’s kindness tonight mean that much more to you.

“One time,” Nancy slurs as she perches herself on the arm of the loveseat, “the four of them were gonna drive to Lake Michigan for a long weekend. Luke was only like…I dunno, maybe 18 months? Anyways, poor little thing had a cough, so Brittany took him to the doctor. She comes home and tells Eddie that Luke’s got the sniffles and they’re all good to go. Turns out, Luke had goddamn pneumonia, but she didn’t want it to ruin her getaway.”

The outrage that is coursing through your veins has you gripping your glass so tightly that you start to lose feeling in your hand.

“How have none of you killed her?” you ask, making sure to keep your voice even when you really want to scream.

“Cause that moron,” Max says, nodding across the room at Eddie, “hadn’t come to his senses yet. Or at least, hadn’t let us know that he had.”

“Thank God he found you,” Nancy says. “For him and the boys.”

“I thank God I found them,” you say, the alcohol you’ve had making you a little more sentimental than usual. Though it’s something you always feel, it’s not something you’d always say out loud to people that aren’t Eddie.

Across the house, the guys are having their own little meeting. Steve leans against the counter in an attempt to look mysterious and suave, but his swaying gait gives away his inebriated state.

“Munson, could you stop staring at your girlfriend for two seconds and help me with this tray?” he asks, fumbling with a platter of cheese cubes and crackers.

“Huh? What?” Eddie stutters, Steve’s words registering after a beat. Heat creeps up the back of his neck: caught red-handed.

Will slings his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him close enough that Eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath. “Aww, you found your Cody!” Will coos.

Eddie’s nose scrunches in confusion. “I’m not following, Byers.”

Will rolls his eyes as though this is obvious information that Eddie should already know. “You found someone who makes you feel happy and warm and loved. Someone you wanna marry someday.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie tries to play it cool; inside, butterflies flutter in his stomach. Marrying you? Sounds like a dream, one that he’s not sure will ever come to fruition.

Will is undeterred by Eddie’s sudden shyness, doubling down on his statement. “Hey, listen,” he drunkenly slurs, “I don’t need to be into women to know that she,” he points to you, “is a total upgrade from, well,” he lowers his voice, “y’know.”

Dustin swoops in, sensing that the conversation might nosedive from playful banter to pure discomfort. “Okay, let’s get you some water.” He leads Will away, shushing him as they walk.

Eddie takes a swig of beer, grateful that the interrogation is over, but then Steve gently adds, “Not to focus on the ex or anything, but you really do seem…I dunno, more like yourself lately. In a way that you didn’t with Brittany.”

“Is that a good thing?” He’d like to think so, but his insecurities often cloud his judgment like a dense fog.

Steve laughs. “Despite my better judgment, yeah. It is.” He claps him on the back. “She’s a keeper, dude. Don’t fuck it up.”

Eddie chuckles and gives a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. “I’ll try not to.”

Both men look up as they hear footsteps approaching them. Eddie’s brow furrows in concern when he sees tears in your eyes as you walk up to him. He reaches out a hand and you place your smaller one in his.

“What’s got you all upset, Sweetheart?”

You’re too tipsy to properly articulate your emotions after talking with Max and Nancy about how lucky the two of you are to have found each other, so you just murmur, “you.”

Steve laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Guess I spoke too soon.”

You let your hand fall from Eddie’s so you can snake your arms around his middle. Letting your eyes fall closed, you rest your head against your boyfriend’s chest.

“I love you so much,” you mumble.

“I love you too, princess,” Eddie says against your hair before pressing a few kisses there.

Steve can’t help but smile at the interaction between the two of you. It’s so nice to see his best friend in a relationship where he’s appreciated and loved for who he is. The way you both look at one another leaves Steve with no doubt about how happy you make each other. Wanting to give the two of you your privacy, Steve quietly slips away.

Joy buzzes in your stomach, only amplified by the alcohol in your system. You lift your head from Eddie’s chest and lean up to press your lips against his. The kiss is soft and sweet, with no urgency. When the two of you finally part, your boyfriend chuckles and licks over his lips.

“Had vodka, huh?” he asks.

“Do I taste like it?” You giggle. “You taste like beer. And a little like rum.”

“That’s ‘cause I had a shot of rum and have been nursing my beer for an hour,” he says, fingers tracing patterns over the soft fabric of your sweater covering your back.

“‘N you’re not drunk,” you state.

“I’ve got a pretty high tolerance, baby. Plus, need to be able to drive us home later. Got some precious cargo right here,” he says as he pulls your body up against his. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah,” you tell him, grinning as you think about the good time you’re having with Eddie’s old friends. “I like your friends. Will’s funny.”

“Will is plastered,” Eddie says with a chuckle.

Before you get a chance to respond, Robin is tugging on your arm and whining about how you can kiss Eddie anytime. Eddie reluctantly lets you go, playfully rolling his eyes as you’re pulled away. It makes you giggle before taking control of your own feet again and following Robin toward an empty spot on a couch.

Robin asks you about school, how you like it, what classes you’re taking next semester, and what you’re studying. At first, it seems like these are generic questions that someone asks of a college student, which confuses you because you’d thought you and Robin would be past that stage by now. But as she keeps talking, Robin reveals that she’s been thinking about going back to school and wants to know more about what it's like. Once you know that, you’re able to give her more detailed information about what it's like on campus rather than give the stilted, robotic answers you tend to give when asked the basic questions.

Vickie slips into your conversation at some point, followed by Mike, Dustin, and Jennifer. Your drink keeps getting refilled to where you’re not sure how much you’ve had to drink by the time the conversation peters out. The only thought that can get any traction in your brain is how badly you need to use the bathroom after drinking so much.

You excuse yourself from the group and make your way towards the hallway where the kids’ rooms are. This area of the house is as familiar to you as the back of your hand from working here so much, which is a good thing as you stagger with next to no coordination. Once the bathroom door is shut behind you, it takes all of your concentration to focus on what you have to do. That leaves no brain power to pick up on the cheering that’s coming from out in the living room.

Out amongst his friends, Eddie’s asking where you are, and Vickie is the one to tell him that she saw you headed towards the bathroom. Eddie thanks her and heads towards the back of the house, eager to get to you as the time until midnight shrinks by the second. Your boyfriend turns the corner and is about to knock on the bathroom door when he sees that it’s wide open. He pokes his head inside and it looks like the room hasn’t been touched the whole evening. Realization hitting him, Eddie groans and rubs a hand over his face.

“God damn it, Harrington. Why is your house so big?”

He makes his way back towards the front of the house, figuring out that you must be using the bathroom in the front hallway, the one you’d be most likely to use when you’re here watching the kids. The buzzing house makes it difficult for Eddie to navigate his way to you as quickly as he wants, knowing how upset you’ll be if you miss your midnight kiss. Eddie swears under his breath as he looks down at his watch and it tells him it’s 12:01. Finally arriving at the right bathroom, he knocks on the door.

It swings inward and you step out, grinning when you see Eddie there.

“Hi!”

Even in his frustration, Eddie can’t help but smile at your excitement at seeing him—alcohol-fueled or not.

“Sweetheart,” he starts, taking your hand and pulling you close to his chest. “It’s after midnight.”

“No, it’s not,” you say with a shake of your head. “Cause at midnight we gotta kiss.”

“We missed it, princess,” he tells you, keeping his voice soft.

It takes your brain longer than normal to process his words, but once it does, a frown pulls at your mouth and your eyes get wide. Eddie shouldn’t think it’s as adorable as he does.

“It’s my fault,” you say. “I-I was in the bathroom. I didn’t know what time it was!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Eddie says, wrapping both of his arms around you. He rubs his hand up and down your back, soothingly. “It’s not your fault. “I tried to come get you and I was late, too.”

“We missed our first New Year’s Eve kiss.” With a whine, you bury your face in Eddie’s chest as tears begin to fall. Strong arms hold you tightly and the weight of Eddie’s head rests against the top of your own.

“Do you want to go back out to the party?” Eddie asks after a few minutes of just holding you.

Sniffling, you shake your head.

“M’sorry, Eddie.”

“Hey.” Eddie cups your face in his hands and tilts your head up. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You and I are going to have New Year’s kisses together for the rest of our lives. And I plan on kissing you every day for the rest of forever, even after we’re dead.” Eddie feels the tightness in his chest lessen as you let out a small giggle at his joke. “So, one late kiss is nothing, sweetheart.” He leans in and presses his lips gently against yours, trying to convey the love and adoration he has for you as he cradles your face. When you pull back, Eddie raises his eyebrows at you in question—did that help?

Much to Eddie’s relief, you nod and wipe your eyes. They’re still sore and puffy, but that will fade. Plus, that’s easy to blame on alcohol consumption.

“Do you want to go home?” Eddie asks.

You shake your head.

“We can stay a little longer,” you say.

“We don’t have to.”

“Wanna have more fun with you.”

That has a small smile growing on your boyfriend’s face.

“I like the sound of that.”

The party winds down now that midnight has passed, and you and Eddie stay for a little while longer. As guests start to leave, you find yourself mingling with everyone and sharing last laughs with his old friends. Eventually, you and Eddie bid those who haven’t left yet goodnight and head back to his apartment.

By the time you arrive home, it’s almost one in the morning. Eddie tosses his keys down on the counter while you shuffle into the kitchen for a glass of water. Sleepily, Eddie follows in behind you but perks up with a smile when he glances at the clock.

“Hey, princess?”

“Hmm?”

“C’mere.”

Body just going through the motions in your tired state, you put the glass down and Eddie tugs you up against his body.

“It’s almost one,” he whispers.

“Okay,” you say, though it sounds more like a question.

“It’s about to be the New Year in the next time zone. So, if we kiss at one, I think that counts as a New Year’s kiss. Don’t you?”

Understanding fights its way through your hazy brain until it clicks. A small smile lights up your face as you nod.

“That sounds like a good plan to me.”

Eddie turns his head to look at the clock on the wall, the second hand racing around towards the nine. Your eyes track the ticking of the thin black line as well, holding your breath as you wait for the hour to strike.

Just as the second hand lands on the twelve, Eddie tilts your chin up and catches your lips with his own. A warm and fuzzy feeling that has nothing to do with your drinking envelops your body as you wrap your arms around his neck. Eddie’s hands rest firmly on your waist, holding onto you as if his life depended on it.

When you part, you rest your foreheads against one another’s. The small, dark apartment shrouds the two of you in shadow, only a sliver of the moon shining in the window giving you enough light to see each other by. The night is quiet around you, no movement breaking the peace as you and Eddie simply gaze into one another’s eyes.

“Happy New Year’s, baby.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #older!eddie #dad!eddie #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #AYW #AYWS

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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago

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I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to argue with people about the worthlessness of voting third party. They just keep insisting that the influence is worth it, and that I was a coward for daring to suggest that we don't HAVE any other options than Democratic. I even cited how voting third party likely played a part in Al Gore losing ffs.

There's no "likely" about it, Ralph Nader DID directly cost Gore the election. He ran explicitly on the same "both parties are the same, so leftists/liberals should vote for me instead" rhetoric that we are still seeing among the Online Left, and it was successful: he got, for example, over 97,000 votes in Florida. Bush won Florida (and thus the presidency) by a miniscule 537 votes, after the fuckery of Bush v. Gore and SCOTUS ordering the recount stopped in Bush's favor. If the tiniest percentage of those Nader voters had gone for Gore, we would have had a president who was arguing in favor of tackling climate change in the year 2000. We would have been incredibly ahead of the curve. We would, in all likelihood, have a president who took the CIA's warnings of an impending al-Qaeda attack in the US seriously. We would not have had the disastrous Afghanistan and Iraq invasions and the "War on Terror," the rampant Islamophobia, "No Child Left Behind," the 2008 economic crash, and everything else that Dubya and his band of bloodthirsty neocons inflicted on us in the early aughties. Look, I try not to look back too much, but having Gore instead of Bush as president would have reshaped the entire timeline we're living in to such an unfathomably better degree that every moron thinking of voting third party For The Protest should be sat down and forced to learn this history intimately. Of course, they already saw it happen in real time in 2016, but they didn't care about that either.

The good news is: there are plenty of persuadable voters out there, and you can do work to reach them and convince them to vote for Democrats! They're just not online, because all the Online Leftists are terminally brain-poisoned against voting anyway and trying to argue with them is generally a waste of time. Instead, what you should do is take a gander at the following links:

This is the one-stop shop page for volunteering to get Democrats elected. You can do in-person and remote work, there are tons of different ways to get involved (i.e. you don't have to go directly out and knock doors if that's not something you're comfortable with), and your local Democratic party will welcome the volunteer help. There is also a page for finding your state party website:

I went there, clicked on my state, opened the webpage, and there was a "Volunteer" link right in the header, with an easy and quick form to fill out to register your interest and explain the kinds of work you would be interested in doing. You can canvass directly, you can manage data on the back end, you can phone bank, you can send texts and postcards to voters who may need an extra nudge, you can otherwise work with your state party in lots of ways, and it will be so much more productive and make you feel so much better than arguing with online idiots who will never, ever change their minds. What you can do is reach out to voters in your own community, in your own state, and have conversations with people who actually ARE willing to listen, but might need a little more educating on the facts, what's at stake, the truth about this election, and the danger that Trump poses. All of this will convert into critically important Democratic votes, and you can actually put your desire to make a difference into action. So yeah. I would 100% suggest you do it this way instead. Good luck.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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clearancecreedwatersurvival · 16 days ago

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‘Oh but nothing will ever change until we manage to get a third party to win’ sure man and how well did that work out in fucking 2000 when the third party vote splintered support away from the ENVIRONMENTALIST who managed to win the dem nomination and instead managed to elect the American Idiot himself GWB?????

Jill Stein and her husband have millions invested in oil and gas, the greens are a fucking sham that actual environmental activists and climate scientists warn people against, what are y’all TALKING about. Please be serious.

There has been ONE (1) progressive candidate in the past two decades who had an actual shot at the White House and wasn’t in the pocket of oil barons and that’s because he ran an entirely crowd funded campaign and he ran as a Dem, even though he spent most of his early career working as an independent, because like it or not the Dems function as the coalition party in the U.S.

And he came so close to winning the nomination TWICE that the Dems caved enough to pass the majority of the legislation in the proposed green new deal anyway under the Biden admin, finally kickstarting the serious transition to renewables that could have happened in 2000 if Al Gore had won.

Come the fuck on.

If you want to see some actual progress and not sit back and let the fucking biosphere burn, then please stop bootlicking for the utterly useless Green Party and instead spend the next four years donating to bail and legal funds for climate protestors and showing up to stand with indigenous water and land defenders and supporting the campaigns of progressive candidates and climate policy thinktanks and conservation orgs and groups that advocate for climate refugees at the local and state levels.

And if you’re feeling particularly frisky and opposed to ecocide and the extinction of almost all complex life on Earth, perhaps consider finding some like minded folks and carefully and without fucking talking about it openly on the internet, engaging in some fun and chill and lowkey targeted direct actions against oil and gas infrastructure and logging and mining operations. Which would be a Bit more useful than pandering for Jill fucking Stein and her oil lobby backers again in 2028.

#climate crisis #climate disaster #environmentalism #us politics #caitie speaks

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bogleech · 8 months ago

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twitch_live

Tonight at 6 pm PDT, another stream of Dragon Quest Monsters 2 for the 3ds! Better than every Pokemon or Digimon game I've ever played, and also better than the newer DQM game for the switch, but never officially localized! Last stream, we stumbled into recruiting a giant deadly sand-shark-centipede that should have been slightly too high level for us!

Now she's our deadliest monster, but she also takes up 3/4 party slots! She is too big!!! Maybe that's okay!? This stream I'll also go over my personal top ten-ish monsters from the original, gameboy color version that I most look forward to finding in this remake!

I say this every week that I make a new thread, but I wanted to play this game since it first released in Japan about eight years ago. I also wanted to play the original early 2000's version back in the day and just never got around to it, so technically it took me almost twenty years to finally play any form of Dragon Quest Monsters 2. It's turned out to be entirely worth it!

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justinspoliticalcorner · 23 days ago

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Hugh Dougherty at The Daily Beast:

Jeffrey Epstein described himself as Donald Trump’s “closest friend” and claimed intimate knowledge of his proclivity for sex, including cuckolding his best friends, according to recordings obtained exclusively by the Daily Beast. The convicted pedophile even boasted of his closeness to Trump and his now-wife Melania by claiming, “the first time he slept with her was on my plane,” which was dubbed the Lolita Express.

Epstein spoke at length about Trump with the author Michael Wolff in August 2017, two years before being found dead in his jail cell. Wolff was researching his bombshell bestseller Fire and Fury at the time. The recordings cast more light on Trump’s long relationship with Epstein, and will add to debate over the character of the Republican candidate, especially his attitudes and conduct toward women, just days before the election. The tapes tell Epstein’s version of the relationship between two former friends and their very different paths: One toward infamy, prison and suicide; the other toward power, the Oval Office and his own criminal conviction for paying hush money to a porn star. Trump’s camp referred to the tapes’ release as “false smears” and “election interference.” The tapes also offer unusual insight into the friendship of two wealthy, powerful men who frequently went out on the town together, prowling for women in New York and Atlantic City. [...]

Asked by Wolff, “How do you know all this?” Epstein replied, “I was Donald’s closest friend for 10 years.” Wolff shared the tape with the Daily Beast ahead of discussing it on his Fire and Fury podcast on Monday. Last Thursday he caused shockwaves by revealing a few seconds of a separate recording in which Epstein spoke in detail about the inner workings of the Trump administration. Wolff also said Thursday that the pedophile showed off photos of Trump with topless young women sitting in his lap. Wolff, a veteran journalist and author who was also the biographer of Rupert Murdoch, has long attracted praise and bromides. When Fire & Fury was published in January 2018, Trump tried to stop it with a failed cease and desist order, then threatened to sue. No case ever materialized, and it sold 5 million copies worldwide. Wolff, who appears regularly on his Fire and Fury podcast, wrote two more books on Trump after Fire and Fury, and about Epstein in 2021’s Too Famous.

Wolff says he has up to 100 hours of recordings of interviews with Epstein, including from using him as a source for Fire and Fury, and from years of meetings when the disgraced financier appeared to want Wolff to write a biography of him. Wolff said he decided to release parts of the archive after a new accuser, a former Miss Switzerland, alleged last week that Trump had groped her in 1992.

[...] Trump’s long friendship with Epstein, which spanned the late 1980s, 1990s and early 2000s has been well documented. In the 1990s, the two publicly partied at Mar-a-Lago and went to a Victoria’s Secret Angels show together. In 2002, Trump told New York Magazine of Epstein, “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.” Epstein’s infamous leaked addressbooks had Trump’s own phone number as well as Melania’s, while Trump’s name appeared seven times in the passenger logs of Epstein’s planes. (The books and logs also included princes, politicians and potentates such as Bill Clinton, former British prime minister Tony Blair, former Israeli PM Ehud Barak, Prince Andrew and celebrities and billionaires including Mick Jagger and Les Wexner.)

[...] In 2022 Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s former girlfriend who procured him underage girls, would be sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for the sex trafficking of minors. Upon hearing of her arrest in 2020, Trump, then president, said he wished her well. “Her friend or boyfriend was either killed or committed suicide in jail. Yeah, I wish her well… Good luck.” In 2004, Epstein and Trump fell out when they both tried to buy a Palm Beach estate, Maison de L’Amitié, out of bankruptcy. The next year, the FBI began investigating Epstein for child sex trafficking.

In 2019, on the day after Epstein’s arrest, Trump said in the Oval Office, “I was not a fan of his, that I can tell you,” and that they had not been friends for 15 years. He said it “did not much matter” what the fall-out had been over. This September, asked about Epstein by the tech podcaster Lex Fridman, Trump said: “He was a good salesman. He was a hailing, hearty type of guy. He had some nice assets that he’d throw around like islands, but a lot of big people went to that island. But fortunately, I was not one of them.”

[...]

The Epstein tape includes an allegation—which is impossible to verify—that Trump had an affair with a politician while in the White House. Epstein offered no proof or sourcing for the claim. He also alleged that Trump cheated on both his first wife Ivana and second wife Marla Maples with “a Black girl.” At one section, Epstein used a Yiddish racial slur to refer to Black women and alleged Trump boasted to him, “I’m f---ing all these Black women.” The tape mixes sexual allegations with other aspects of Trump’s life. Early in the recording Epstein is heard to say, “You probably know he had a scalp reduction. He’s getting the same male pattern baldness that we all have. He had his scalp reduced. It’s hysterical.” Trump has long refused to release full medical records while his White House medical reports did not disclose any prior surgeries.

“He’s charming. In a devious way, he’s charming. To some extent it’s a typical tragedy where he believes his own bulls---”

— Epstein on Trump

And Epstein offers his eyewitness account of Trump Tower and Trump’s office where, he said, Trump had “fake honors” on the wall. Trump, he claimed, would yell at his personal assistant Rhona Graff, “who’s a loyal, perfect, secretary,” as well as Matthew Calamari Snr., his bodyguard, and Michael Cohen, his attorney who is now an enemy. Epstein compared Trump to “an emotionally challenged 9-year-old,” and said, “He screams and yells at Rhona more than anybody else. His screaming is how he treats people. He has a tantrum, not a temper. If you don’t understand him, it’s frightening. Once you understand him, it’s sort of silly.” Epstein also told Wolff he had positive things to say about Trump. “He’s charming. In a devious way, he’s charming,” he said. “To some extent it’s a typical tragedy where he believes his own bulls---. He has delusions of grandiosity, then he takes it on board.” He added that he had a “self-deprecating nature” and was “not vulgar.” “He’s funny,” Epstein said. “Self-awareness means you’re self-aware. He’s aware of that person, Donald Trump. He talks about The Trump, The Trumpster. ‘Trump’s getting laid.’”

On the tape Epstein, speaking in a New York accent, also mentioned the rich and powerful. (In a deposition released after his death Epstein admitted under oath that he dropped the names of people he had never met.) The names he mentioned on tape include: Former president Bill Clinton; Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner; then-Defense Secretary James Mattis; and the billionaires Carl Icahn and Tom Barrack, both of whom are friends of Trump. Clinton was a long-standing friend of Epstein but has denied any association after the pedophile’s disgrace in the mid-2000s. Mattis has no known association with him. Ivanka was photographed with him as a child but Kushner has never been known to be linked to him. Barrack appeared in a leaked appointment diary for Epstein from 2016, while Carl Icahn, a corporate raider and long-time Trump friend, was in Epstein’s 1997 address book. Startlingly for a man who became one of the world’s most notorious sex offenders, Epstein on the tapes offers a damning judgment of Trump, telling Wolff, “The moral compass just does not exist.”

The Daily Beast reported that Jeffrey Epstein was Donald Trump's closest friend for about 10 years, according to tapes obtained from the outlet that featured Michael Wolff interviewing the late pedophile.

#Donald Trump #Epstein Tapes #Jeffrey Epstein #Michael Wolff #Lolita Express #Fire and Fury #Ghislaine Maxwell #Jeffrey Epstein Child Sex Abuse Scandal #The Daily Beast

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northoftheroad · 3 months ago

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Has Dick ever attempted to kill Zucco? Because it's something I see very often being brought up in discussions about Dick Grayson. But in everything I've read, the only thing Dick has ever done to Zucco is bring him to justice with Batman's help after finding out he's who murdered his parents.

Hi, Indeed, the idea that little Dick was out for bloody vengeance is blown hugely out of proportion and it's tiresome to see it so widespread! As far as I know, he's never been out hunting for Zucco with the expressed intention to kill him.

(I might be late to the party because I saw that @farshootergotme recently made this point in two posts – definitely check them out (part 1 and part 2). But since I've been working on an answer, I'll press on.)

The original story (and later retellings of it) in Detective Comics # 38 (1940) had Dick intending to go to the police but Batman stopped him and said it would lead to Dick himself being killed because "the whole town is run by boss Zucco" (who was a big time boss at the time, he's been very much reduced in importance since).

Detective Comics # 38

In Batman Year Three (1989), right after the murder, Dick tells Batman to "Kill him for me". He's never out looking for Zucco, though, and by the time he's taken in by Bruce from the orphanage, he says it wouldn't change anything, he just wishes he "could do something so people like him couldn't hurt anyone ever again".

Batman vol 1 # 436 and 437

I think the angriest we've seen Dick is in Batman The Animated Series. I believe the BTAS episodes Robin's Reckoning (1993) started the trend of little Dick going out by himself (in different media, he has been looking for Zucco, running away from being mistreated, following Batman, and visited the circus).

In BTAS Zucco wasn't caught after the murder and little Dick was indeed out to look for Zucco, but nothing was said about killing him. He still becomes a pretty happy Robin in the show, but he does blow up when Zucco comes back to Gotham and Batman doesn't want Robin's help to look for him (because Batman was afraid that something would happen to Robin). There is a moment where Zucco (and the audience) is supposed to wonder whether Robin will let him drop a long way down, so this, I would argue, is the closest we'll ever see to Dick wanting to kill him. But this is Dick as a young adult who have lived with Zucco getting away, as opposed to comics.

BTAS Robin's Reckoning

In the Robin Annual # 4, Year One, (1995), where Dick is placed and mistreated at a youth centre, he runs away to get away – with no intention of looking for a criminal, just to save himself. He's still alone and miserable after Bruce has taken him in so he does go out one night to visit Haly circus, which is back in town. Haly is killed, Dick attacks the killers and has to be saved by Batman. Dick's internal thoughts in this book are about putting Zucco away (in prison), not killing.

Robin vol 2 Annual # 4

In The Choice in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #100 (1997), Dick does go out to look for the murderer, and Zucco dies of heart failure (or something like that), but Dick says he didn't want him to die. And in Dark Victory (1999–2000), Dick tells Batman he wants to help. However, Batman takes Dick with him to confront Zucco; Dick chases Zucco who (again) dies from medical issues, and Dick does not look triumphant.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #100 (The Choice)

Dark Victory

And in New 52, (Nightwing vol 3 # 0, 2012), 15-year-old Dick is indeed out looking for Zucco, because he feels it's his responsibility, and he starts to fight criminals together with Batman out on the streets. Again, nothing is said about wanting to kill Zucco. The Long Year in Secret Origins vol 3 # 1 (2014) has a slightly different version, but here too, Bruce and Dick only talk about catching Zucco.

Nightwing vol 3 # 0

Secret Origins vol 3 # 1 The Long Year

There are a few more versions of Dick's origin stories, but I think I've covered the ones most people know about. I'm not really familiar with the animated Teen Titans but, as far as I know, there is no mention of Tony Zucco here (since some people seem to think that Robin is actually Tim Drake, even though it's clearly based on New Teen Titans. And I believe there is a reference to the circus somewhere?).

Thanks for the ask! I have been writing snippets about the subject of fanon murder child Dick Grayson here and there, it was good to get a reason to collect my thoughts and panels once and for all.

#dick grayson #nightwing #robin #batman #fanon vs canon #fanon is not canon

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sanjoongie · 10 months ago

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𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕧𝕖: 𝕄𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕪 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜

🥀Au: Fanboy Au, Fanfic smut writer! Wooyoung, Idol! Reader

🥀Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader (f)

🥀Genre: Smut

🥀Rating: 18+, Minors Do not Interact

🥀Author's note: the following takes place within a world where Wooyoung is a smut fanfic writer and you, an idol pretending to be a male called 'Mingi' and his bias, are his friend

🥀Trope: loser to lover

🥀Summary: wooyoung is just a loser guy in the 2000's and you're the hot 2000's girl that's considering letting him go down on you... at a cost, of course

🥀Kinks: Mommy Kink, oral (f), face sitting, degradation kink, smothering kink, bdsm safe signals to stop and go, inexperienced! woo, experienced! reader, sub! wooyoung, dom! reader, riding Wooyoung's nose

🥀Word Count: 1,278

🥀Betas: @mejuii

🥀Day Eleven: Somnophilia 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Thirteen: Uniform

You took a deep breath. It wasn’t like you hadn't read some of Wooyoung’s stuff already, you had been hella curious after seeing Hongjoong’s nsfw fanart. So you just put yourself in the mindset that Fleur, which was your stage name, was you and the male reader was Wooyoung, because why not? And then you began to read.

📼Wooyoung’s Fanfic☎

All Wooyoung wanted to do was go to the cute candy store and get something to munch on while he gamed later tonight. Yeosang bought the new Twisted Metal Black game, and he invited him and San to play. It was just supposed to be a drive there in his Ford Focus, pick up the snacks, and then get out of there. But for the past twenty minutes straight, he couldn't stop looking at the barbed wire tattoo that was peeking out of the cashier’s short shorts as she restocked some of the bins.

When you turned around and noticed the nerd in glasses was staring at you, you rolled your eyes dramatically. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Wooyoung stuttered and proceeded to drop the bags that he had already made. The various jelly beans, soft gummies, and gumballs spilled all over the floor.

You snapped a bubble of gum angrily. “Really? A couple minutes before closing, and you’re gonna do this to me?”

You spun around to go find the broom. This was the worst shift you had ever had, and once you had to entertain a birthday party of four year olds with sticky hands.

“Wait, I can help!” Wooyoung chased after you. Your annoyance, your anger, was making him feel some kinda way.

“Don’t bother,” you spat over your shoulder, “You’ve already made a mess. Probably would make it worse.”

Wooyoung couldn't help but pursue you, like a moth to a flame. He couldn't pull himself from you.

So when you stopped abruptly and smacked into the back of you, yelping in surprise, you couldn't help your own burst of anger. You pushed him by his shoulders. “Get away from me, you freak!” You shouted in disgust.

“I can make it up to you!” Wooyoung pleaded desperately.

His glasses had fallen off when you pushed him. You tilted your head. Wait… was he kinda… hot?

You pulled your hot pink Razr phone from your back pocket and pushed the side button to see the time. It was closing time. So you stomped over to the front, flipped the sign from open to close, and then went back to Wooyoung, who was still lying in the center of the aisle with his candies all across the floor.

“You’re probably only good for creaming in your own pants,” You sneered. Wooyoung stared up at you with his mouth open in surprise. You shoved his glasses back on his face. “Prove me wrong.”

“Yes, Mommy,” dropped from his lips before his mind could catch up. “I mean!--” His face was red with embarrassment.

You rolled your eyes but began to unbutton your shorts. “I knew you were a freak. Do you know how to give head or not?” You huffed.

Wooyoung pushed his glasses up his nose, still in shock. “I--I don’t think I--”

You let out a noise of frustration, having unzipped your shorts and revealed the black thong underneath. “Nevermind, I should have known better.”

“No please!” Wooyoung protested, a hand reaching up to halt you from doing back up your pants. “You can sit on my face, right? I can try? Please, I want to try.”

“God, you really are THAT desperate for pussy?” You demanded.

Wooyoung swallowed, and you watched his Adam’s apple bob.

“Fine,” you grumbled, “But you’re going to call me Mommy, like earlier. You know to tap once to go and tap twice to stop, right? What am I saying? You don’t know shit. Listen, I am going to grind my pussy on your face and hope for the best okay? If you can’t breathe just tap my thigh twice and I’ll let up.”

Wooyoung nodded his head so enthusiastically that you thought his glasses were going to fall off again.

As it turned out, Wooyoung’s nose was perfect for grinding on. He clumsily licked at your wet folds, slurping and moaning, which only added to the allure of allowing some virgin nerd to eat you out. His arms wound around your legs, his fingers sometimes tracing the raised bumps of your barbed wire tattoo.

Just to test out if Wooyoung had actually listened to you, you sat down harder on his face, covering his nose and mouth with your cunt, bucking your hips into his nose and tongue, watching with cruel eyes as his breath was cut off. Wooyoung’s eyes widened, but his tongue didn’t stop, and you were actually impressed. Eventually, you felt a tap tap on your tattoo, and you eased up.

“Please, Mommy, do that again,” Wooyoung begged.

“I don’t think you can handle it.”

Wooyoung practically shoved his face into your cunt, tongue flat and head worrying on your clit. You gasped as he actually showed some brains, alreading picking up some technique as you grinded against his face after hours in the candy shop.

You grasped his long hair tightly, keeping him buried in your pussy. “Can you even get Mommy off with that clumsy tongue of yours?” You cooed mockingly, “Am I going to have to do all the work myself?”

Wooyoung whimpered, and you glanced over your shoulder. His baggy jeans were tented, and he was humping the air for some friction.

“Poor baby, you got a hard on? Guess you'll have to deal because Mommy always comes first, right?”

Wooyoung nodded, nudging the bridge of his nose against your clit and making you moan. He tapped twice again and when he pulled away the second time, he was gasping and his face was an absolute mess. And if you were being honest, he looked hot and debauched with his glasses fogged up.

You rode Wooyoung’s face until you came, your thighs shuddering under his arms and his chest swelled with pride as your wetness spread across his tongue and he lapped it all up, making happy, eager noises. You pushed his head back with a French tip manicure in the middle of his forehead before he started to make you feel sensitive.

You pushed upwards to get up, but Wooyoung's arms clung to you. “Liked sucking Mommy’s candy that much?” You mocked him.

“Please give me your number,” Wooyoung begged, all semblance of pride gone.

“Mmm, I don't think so, loser,” you declined. You untangled yourself from him. You adjusted your thong, careful of your freshly eaten out pussy and pulled your shorts back on.

“I'll do anything,” Wooyoung insisted, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“Please don't make this more awkward than it already is,” you said with a look of disgust.

“I'll come back every day and you can smother me with your pussy,” Wooyoung pleaded. “Mommy,” he added belatedly.

Well, there were perks to having a guy eager to eat you out every day.

🎤Back to Reality✍️

“Hey,” Your group mate patted your shoulder. “It's your turn to get your hair done.”

You smiled shakily and tried really hard not to squeeze your thighs together. Your next few hours of filming your music video were going to be torture. But if you just thought about how happy Wooyoung would be that you beta read for him, it would be worth it.

And maybe if you slipped in a little something about androids, Wooyoung would think he manifested it in your new music video.

🥀Day Eleven: Somnophilia 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Thirteen: Uniform

this au is always for @smallfrye, she claims it, it's hers 💞

#joongfryefff24 #kvanity #kwritersworldnet #pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #ateez smut #jung wooyoung smut #atz smut #wooyoung smut #topaz's work #ღatz #fanboys au

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dicapiito · 14 days ago

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Since Black People share zero blame about what happened in the election and why Trump won again; let’s do a master post on who’s to blame as to why Trump won again:

1. White people. They are never to be trusted to actually pay attention to shit so they will believe anything anyone tells them to. If someone is promising to get rid of anyone who’s not white; white people will vote for that candidate. White men vote for violence and white women vote in hopes to be like white men. I mean, Roe V Wade SHOULDVE been important …until I remember those stories from nurses at Planned Parenthood mentioning how obnoxious white women are about the service. White people who are actual allies are very rare and they know if they admitted to being hateful; they’d be all alone watching Fox News.

2. The mainstream media. MSNBC, CNN, Bill Maher, John Oliver, Jon Stewart ( the biggest douchefuck), Chris Hayes, Anderson Cooper, Joy Reid, among others (who I can’t name because I refuse to hate-watch their media). They spent all their fucking time bashing Biden and the Democrats. They let the lunatic leftists have a platform and they treated Trump like he’s no threat until it was way too late. They figured it’s better for their audiences to not take what Trump did in 2016-2020 seriously and just be mean towards Biden, Harris and the Democrats who actually work towards better.

Any one of these jokers could’ve taken an actual stand and report actual news about Biden but once Covid got calmer thanks to Biden and the White House became boring again because the Biden Administration was busy ACTUALLY WORKING; it just wasn’t enough for them. Once they knew leftists also found another cause they could hijack for themselves to “ stick it to the Dems” they also let these fuckers on their show to help spread more lies about the Democrats. But nope! They latched onto the “ Free Palestine” movement and sold that shit, knowing full fuckin well that it’s not America’s problem about the conflict and Biden and Harris were making sure to get a two state solution.

Their buyers remorse media is not cute and they are only doing this because they know they are a major reason why Trump won again. They’re also scared of retaliation so they’re going to act like they “ regretted it” and that Biden “ wasn’t so bad” while not ever really apologetic but their audiences will eat it up.

3. Nonblack PoC. Latino, Asian/ Pacific Islander community ( I’m not even shocked. I’m apart of this group and they love antiblackness), Arab Americans ( Rashida Tlaib is antiblack but because leftists are stupid; they couldn’t see something so obvious). The desperation to be accepted by white people and also the xenophobia in all these communities had them voting for Trump. They have the “ I’m one of the good ones” mentality and well they’re about to see that antiblackness and xenophobia has screwed themselves .

4. Social media websites letting misinformation spread, and I include tumblr since yet again this happened. I appreciate that X has a community note and people tried to fight it but it was just way too great. Too many bots were getting through. Facebook, tumblr, Twitter, TikTok, likely Instagram as well. And once the elections are over; it’s like they treat the election interference shit like it didn’t happen.

5. Leftists. As usual, since they’re bored and rich, they do this protesting “ the establishment” every four years because they don’t want to pay their fair share of taxes. They went right along with the Free Palestine bullshit because it has worked for them before. Susan Sarandon , remember her? She helped fuck over 2000 as well as 2016 and let the GOP into the White House. Since leftist includes being racist/antiblack and antisemitic; it’s a great way to get more stupid white people to not vote or “ protest vote” and help the GOP win. Now that they have; we won’t see the likes of Jill Stein or any third party candidates. They are only around to help fuck over the Democrats and yet this lesson seems to have to keep being repeated and holy fuck it’s fucking annoying.

6. Nancy Pelosi. I know I haven’t said much but she wanted Biden to step down. She wanted an open Democratic primary to get a new candidate and to go right past Kamala Harris. Her bullshit has been known for awhile, especially if you live in the Bay Area. People forgot because of Covid and because of the whack job who attacked her husband. But remember; she’s also Gavin Newsom’s aunt and well…do with that what you will. If Democrats have any chance at getting their base back; Pelosi needs to step aside and let Hakeem Jeffries be Speaker. Pelosi knew damn well if it was not Kamala Harris; Black People would not show up but she is a white woman first so of course she did what she did. And for her to act like Biden was too old when she’s in the same age group was even more moronic since he won against Trump the first fuckin time

7. antisemitism also played a huge part. Remember Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff is Jewish so if it wasn’t antiblackness; antisemitism was also at play here. Even though people won’t say it just like they won’t say their true reasons why they didn’t vote for Kamala Harris. Jewish People were the only allies along with the lgbt community who overwhelmingly voted for Kamala Harris. Every group has knuckleheads but the knuckleheads were extremely smaller than everyone else.

8. The Squad members. AOC, Rashida Tlaib, Jayapal, Cori Bush, Summer Lee and Jamaal Bowman. It’s time to get rid of these idiot DSA morons and the fact that Cori Bush and Jamaal Bowman are out is awesome. They always wanted to fuck over the Democrats because they want to appear like they’re activists while they really just sell “ someday it’ll be better” while making $176K a year. They need the GOP in charge so they can coast in the House. Too bad leftists don’t get that.

So now that we all know who’s to blame; maybe now take some fuckin responsibility and hope to fucking heaven that Trump won’t have SCOTUS overturn shit but who are we kidding? With Elon Musk around; a lot of things will be rolled back but let’s see if people learn anything from it. Oh who am I kidding ?

Oh and thinking of moving to Canada? Lmao Justin Trudeau already went “ AHT AHT”. Best believe other countries are already following suit so y’all are going to be owning up to who you voted for lol.

But ya know, Biden was “ too old” and Harris was “ too joyful”

#us politics #us elections #kamala harris #mainstream media #cnn news #the daily show #joy reid #last week tonight #john oliver #jon stewart #anderson cooper #Donald Trump #y’all got the man ya wanted #it’s above me and Black People now #doug emhoff

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mariacallous · 6 days ago

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A decade ago, the U.S. Congress was on the cusp of passing a bill that would have legalized most of the nearly 11 million unauthorized migrants living in the United States and put them on a path to citizenship. Now, come Jan. 20, the country is set to launch what will likely be the largest mass deportation effort in its history.

“We know who you are, and we’re going to come and find you,” said Thomas Homan one day after President-elect Donald Trump named him as the incoming administration’s “border czar,” responsible for border security and the removal of unauthorized migrants. Homan has promised to carry out “the biggest deportation operation this country’s ever seen.”

If he succeeds, it will reshape migration for a generation or longer—not just in the United States but in much of the world.

This moment has been building slowly. Since roughly the 1960s, most of the advanced economies—with the notable exception of Japan—gradually opened themselves to larger flows of migrants. In the United States, the foreign-born share of the population rose from less than 5 percent in 1970 to nearly 15 percent today; in Britain, that share rose from a little more than 6 percent to more than 16 percent.

Most Western countries saw immigration as an economic winner, bringing talent and ambition and helping fill labor shortages in occupations from farm work to health care. There was a strong humanitarian impulse as well: Horrified by the refusal of most countries to admit European Jews fleeing Nazi persecution before and during the Second World War, Western countries adopted generous refugee and asylum laws obligating them to admit many of those escaping persecution, torture, or death threats around the world.

But in the 21st century, that welcoming spirit has crumbled. In the 2000s, Congress tried several times to pass legislation to legalize unauthorized migrants who were longtime U.S. residents, as it had done during the administration of President Ronald Reagan in 1986. The most recent effort failed in the House of Representatives in 2014, despite support from more than two-thirds of senators, including 14 Republicans.

Then over the past decade, both the United States and Europe faced a series of migration crises, with displaced people arriving at their borders in far larger numbers than governments could handle or their populations were willing to accept. Tinkering with asylum processing and enlisting help from neighboring states such as Mexico or Turkey bought occasional breathing room—until the number of arrivals would inevitably soar again, creating a fresh crisis.

With the growing number of migrants fleeing conflict, violence, or economic collapse—the number of displaced persons worldwide has doubled over the past decade, to nearly 120 million today—immigration has become more politically charged across the world. In Europe, populist parties running on anti-immigrant platforms have made widespread gains. Even countries that have historically welcomed large numbers of migrants, such as Canada and Australia, have become warier and are reducing immigration quotas.

But no country faces an about-face as stark as that in the United States. Trump returns to the White House with what he believes is a mandate to sweep the country of unauthorized migrants, including millions who have been in the United States for decades and millions more who have arrived in the past four years and enjoy temporary legal status under the Biden administration’s more generous schemes.

Trump’s first appointments attest to his seriousness. Homan has four decades of experience on migration issues; as the acting director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) during Trump’s first term, he was the architect of the controversial policy of separating migrant parents from their children when they crossed the border from Mexico illegally.

Trump’s new deputy chief of staff for policy, Stephen Miller, has spent the last 15 years schooling himself in the intricacies of U.S. immigration laws to wield them in the service of a xenophobic agenda. At Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally in late October, Miller told the cheering crowd that “America is for Americans and Americans only.”

And the president-elect’s nominee to head the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Gov. Kristi Noem, deployed National Guard troops from her state of South Dakota to help stop migrants at the Texas-Mexico border.

It is not at all clear, however, that Americans actually voted for this agenda. Immigration was a big issue in the campaign, but surveys indicate that it ran well behind the state of the economy and was a second-tier issue alongside health care, national security, the Supreme Court, and the future of democracy.

Polls on immigration are also all over the map. A September Pew Research poll found that nearly 9 in 10 Trump supporters, and 56 percent of registered voters overall, said that they favor “mass deportations of immigrants living in the country illegally,” suggesting strong support for the Trump agenda. But 58 percent also favor allowing undocumented immigrants to remain in the country if they are married to a U.S. citizen. And considerably higher majorities—including half or more of Trump supporters—want to admit more refugees, foreign college graduates, and immigrants who can fill labor shortages.

The new administration’s actions will be a test of which of these competing priorities Americans will actually support. In his first term, Trump did not push very hard. While he all but shut down refugee admissions from overseas, took steps to curb legal migration, and tightened the U.S. border with Mexico during the COVID-19 pandemic, his administration did little to remove migrants already present in the country. The total number of deportations during his first four years was 1.5 million—half as many as President Barack Obama’s first term and similar to the number in Obama’s second term and outgoing President Joe Biden’s four years.

Trump was more successful in reducing legal migration. Immigrant arrivals slowed significantly under Trump, though much of that came from the almost complete shutdown of U.S. borders and immigration processing during the pandemic year of 2020, the final year of his first term. What would a mass deportation look like? Unless Congress changes them, U.S. laws make a huge increase in removals unlikely.

Migrants targeted for deportation are permitted to appeal their removal to U.S. immigration courts, an arm of the Justice Department. The backlog in those courts is more than 3 million cases, a sixfold increase since 2016; wait times for hearings can stretch to two years or longer. U.S. detention capacity for all migrants—either recent arrivals or those awaiting removal—is roughly 40,000.

Miller has pushed for the government to create tent cities along the border to expand that capacity, but the costs would be high. The American Immigration Council has estimated that it would cost $88 billion annually to detain and deport 1 million migrants per year, which is nearly nine-tenths of the entire current DHS budget. And many countries are reluctant to take their own citizens back. Venezuela has at times refused entirely, and others, including Cuba and China, are considered “recalcitrant.”

Homan promised in a Nov. 8 interview with Fox News to start by focusing on “public security threats and national security threats,” which is pretty much what the Biden administration and others have done; more than 40 percent of those arrested and targeted for removal by ICE in 2023 had some sort of criminal conviction or pending charge.

Beyond that, things get harder. Homan has promised to revive “worksite enforcement” in which ICE targets workplaces such as slaughterhouses and farms that are suspected of employing large numbers of undocumented migrants. The history of such raids suggests that they will be difficult.

Only one large-scale raid—against chicken processing plants in Mississippi—was conducted during Trump’s first term. Some 700 migrants were arrested and some deported, but the employers got off with a slap on the wrist. The Mississippi plants continue to face large labor shortages and continue to hire unauthorized migrants.

Many of Trump’s wealthy donors rely on foreign workers, including unauthorized migrants, and are likely to push back against the resumption of workplace raids.

Reaching deep into American communities will be harder still. To start, it is challenging simply to find undocumented migrants; unlike some countries, U.S. residents are not required to carry documents that prove their right to be in the country. Many states, including California, Oregon, and Washington, as well as cities such as New York, Boston, and Philadelphia, also have “sanctuary” laws that prevent local law enforcement from cooperating with ICE agents, making arrests and detentions more difficult.

Homan has promised to ignore such obstacles in deploying ICE agents: “If sanctuary cities don’t want to help us, then get out of the way, because we’re coming,” he said on Fox & Friends. Miller has also talked about getting friendly red states to call up state-level National Guard forces and sending them to assist ICE agents in blue states. This could set up unprecedented clashes across state borders.

The public reaction is hard to predict. Most immigration enforcement takes place near the border or quietly, when unauthorized migrants are detained on criminal charges and turned over to ICE. Sending agents into neighborhoods to arrest individual migrants will be far more explosive; nearly 14 million U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents live in households where are least one member is unauthorized. Nearly 1 in 3 Latino families—a group that voted more strongly for Trump in this election than in the previous two—is faced with the threat of removal or family separation in the event of a mass deportation.

All of this assumes, of course, that the new administration chooses to be constrained by existing laws and norms. But other options may exist. With Republican control of both the House and the Senate, Trump may be able to push through laws not only to boost funding for removal operations, but also to weaken legal protections for unauthorized migrants.

His officials are likely to expand the use of expedited removal—a provision that permits removal without a court hearing for recent arrivals. Previous administrations have used the power almost exclusively to remove unauthorized border crossers shortly after their arrival, but Trump tried late in his first term to extend that power to migrants who had lived anywhere in the country for less than two years. The increasingly pro-Trump courts may help such an effort pass muster.

This week, Trump suggested he may go farther still and declare a national emergency—using broad powers granted by Congress to the president—in order to deploy the U.S. military to expedite deportations.

Even if his deportation plans fall short, a large-scale attempt of the sort being promised will mark a revolution in the U.S. approach to migration. Until now, conservative critics of immigration, including Trump himself during his first term, have focused largely on securing borders and reducing new arrivals. Right-wing parties in Europe, too, have focused on tightening borders.

But if the United States starts mass removal, populist governments in other parts of the world will likely be emboldened to take more draconian measures as well. Despite the political controversies, the United States has long been something of a model for embracing immigration—more than one-fifth of all the world’s migrants reside in the United States. Mass deportation will send a far uglier message.

If the effort proves too difficult, and Trump buckles to the inevitable backlash, the political debate in the United States may revert to where it has been for decades: how to provide a reasonable level of security at the border while continuing to admit new immigrants who benefit the economy—and looking the other way at the millions of unauthorized migrants who have settled and built lives in the country.

For decades now, that has been a messy and uncomfortable compromise. But the alternative promises to be much worse.

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