#2. show is unfinished. needs to be finished. needs to be finished well tho and idk if I trust them to do that.

[corpse-flame]

TIERLIST OF FUNNIEST UTDR PLUSHIES

from all the ones i can find

1 (editted in (im not gonna change the rest of the numbers.) )

im editting this one in because someone showed me this way later and yeah its funnier than the jerma spamton

1

he looks like jerma. i dont think i need to elaborate.

2

this is the only spamton plush ive ever seen that actually looks clinically insane

3

im sorry that first three are all spamtons. but. what the fuck is this.

4

i think this one was unfinished but it reminds me of the seraphim transformation in the binding of isaac so its funny.

5

this is just a stand-in for every body pillow that looks like this(i think these count as plushies.) because like why did they just rip the actual game sprites??? id bite that kris body pillow tho.

6

HES SO CHUBBY???? WHAT DID YOU FEED HIM HOW DID HE GAIN THIS MUCH WEIGHT SO FAST???

7

i made fanart of this one specific plushie twice. it was an inside joke. but like why is she posing like a gorilla about to attack you???

8

this one is only so high bcuz its the first one i checked on ebay and i got jumpscared by this plushies ass immediately

9

me after my sibling dies of flowers. imagine this fucking ball of a plush crying.

10

actually now that im thinking this shouldve been higher. well i suck at tierlisting i guess. also i thought this was omniman for a second so-

11

oh my god.

12

I DIDNT MEAN "STARVE HIM" WHEN I WAS ASKING HOW HE GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT SO FAST

13

he looks like one of those stickmans you can make by taking a picture of smth

14

WHY DID THEY FORCE HIM TO DO A SPLIT???? I DONT THINK HES THAT FLEXIBLE ENOUGH TO DO A SPLIT WITHOUT BREAKING BONES

15

HIS HEAD IS SOO BIG. I THOUGHT IT WAS SPAMTON WHO COULD ENLARGE IS HEAd. gueSS NOT.

anyway the tierlist is finished

[yichens]

edits i made in 2024 ✨

thanks for tagging me krish @i-got-the-feels [x] ♥ am also trying to incorporate the tumblr top ten posts into this bc i don't want to do that as it is, so thank you for tagging me into that antania @riggerbison [x] and zey @fadelsburger [x] ♥

Post your most popular and/or favorite edit/gifset for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagging: @forcebook @thamepo @chezlalune @ruanbaijie @luna-lina @srnileforme @wanderlust-in-my-soul no pressure and if you've done this or something like this already, please send it my way or tag me into the post's replies! i'd love to look at everybody's creations and give them some love :')

JANUARY: morkday + holding hands [x]

the most popular and tbh my personal favorite was this morkday edit i made based on a quote that is from the damn city of bones (2007) by cassandra clare. i didn't know that back when this quote punched me in the face and made me think about it for a couple of days but i honestly laughed when i finally googled it... worked out very well tho! i love hand symbolism, especially in last twilight, and the golden colors are lovely for them ♥ i also ended up loving the last image in this set even if i first struggled with the composition.

this was my number 1 post on my tumblr top ten.

(also gotta add that it still feels insane that last twilight was still going on in 2024... it feels like it was ages ago. i barely remember most of it anymore, probably bc of the heartbreak and trauma. i'm a changed person in january 2025)

rest of the months under the cut bc i ramble!

FEBRUARY: valentine's day vice versa rewatch [x]

my best decision for last year was to rewatch both my school president and vice versa during the time before valentine's day. it healed me, held me gently, filled me with love and warmth. am happy that the set i made after that to show love, once again, for the romance show and soulmates couple of all time was both my most popular and personal fave ♥ i love how the set turned out and how the colors work in this. i will forever be thankful to vice versa for its colors and overall brilliance.

this was my number 8 post on my tumblr top ten.

MARCH: 23.5 episode 3 [x]

it's a close call between several of my 23.5 episode edits but this happens to be the most popular one during this month. i never finished 23.5 which somehow saddens me, but towards the end, i just lost interest, and so this edit series was also left unfinished. i liked the concept tho and loved playing with the colors each week!

tribute to mork methas [x]

personal favorite cannot be any other edit than this bc i put all my heart into creating it. i am still so angry about what last twilight did to mork as a character; how all his trauma and pain was pushed aside, how the story never gave him the space and time he needed, how on top of all else they managed to butcher this amazing man. i don't even want to look at him in episode 12 bc i cannot recognize mork there. he is no that person, at least not to me. mork my beloved, i wish the writers didn't hate you so much </3

(btw i have this whole explanation/essay written under this post in my drafts. it's mostly me sharing in detail the thought process behind me making this edit and going through the several elements in it. if anyone is curious, i can post it, just holler haha)

APRIL: us / thamepo pilot crossover [x] [x]

the most popular edit for this month deserves to be the edit i made for the us pilot that was revealed during gmmtv 2024 part 2. i am still very excited to see the show itself and follow their filming journey occasionally on twt. i am just soooo ready to break my heart over the tragic lesbians woven together with strings of comfort, self-discovery, and heart ache.

this was my number 2 post on my tumblr top ten.

i picked the thamepo sister set as my personal fave bc i cannot separate these two. it was fun to connect them together and switch around the dialogues we hear in these pilots bc they just worked. they had very similar vibes and both talked about somewhat forbidden love. no wonder am currently so into thamepo (i hope it stays that way, am done with all the disappointment i've experienced with shows lately).

this was my number 4 post on my tumblr top ten.

MAY: 23.5 episode 9 [x]

the most popular set of the month. not much else to comment. i love the shot of ciize in this one, she's so cute :(

puentalay k-i-s-s-i-n-g [x]

my favorite for this month! a very impulsive edit that happened solely bc this ear worm of a song (that puen would def listen to) wouldn't leave me alone. it's silly, it's fun, it's cute, it's sexy, it's passionate. it's everything i could ask for! i honestly had a ton of fun with this edit despite having to edit a bazillion (26) separate images for this. the fact that those images are mostly of puentalay kisses makes it worth it.

JUNE: we are episode 12 [x] / 11 [x]

during summer, i was deep in my we are era. i honestly loved each set i made for the series bc for the longest time, i've wanted to make sets like this. i had my struggles with some of them but they all worked out in the end! episode 12 was the most popular one and episode 11 is just my personal favorite bc i love the purple + hints of yellow/golden -combo.

JULY: we are final episode [x]

to honor this show and all its relationships, from romantic to platonic, i decided on a rainbow set. it worked super well and i am happy it was so popular ^^ i miss this whole bunch and the amazing summer we had together. (sorry about the quality of this screenshot, the set is too long to fit it on my screen hhh)

this was my number 10 post on my tumblr top ten.

morkday + pvris songs [x]

probably my favorite set i've made this year overall. my whole year was defined by pvris's music (my spotify top artist) and it felt appropriate to link it together with morkday (and puentalay). i love the layout of this set, the colors, the noise. getting into the lyrics and choosing fitting parts for each image was the best part. my favorite image in the set is the last one that i started from while creating this set. i love the background image for that so much. another one i like is the green one for anywhere but here, bc of the image itself but also bc of the song and its message.

AUGUST: we are couples [x]

due to traveling around a lot in august and being exhausted from that, i didn't create much. but i am extremely happy with this set that is both the most popular and my personal favorite! everything about this one just worked out. i feel like it really summarizes all of these couples and shows their different sides.

as a fun fact, i have to say that i never put too much thought into choosing the animals for each couple, other than picking the bird for chainpun (for obvious reasons). cat for phumpeem came through peem more than phum who is very dog coded to me. instead, dog (or wolf?) ended up with tanfang bc of tan's puppy-like nature. qtoey getting the bunny feels like a stroke of genius given to me during the making of this set bc looking at it now, it's perfect. they have that sweetness and energy in them i connect with rabbits.

SEPTEMBER: sanvee + moon phases [x]

ok i might have lied in the july part bc this might be my overall favorite edit i made in 2024. creating it was a battle tho, and i felt like screaming for the best part of the process bc nothing felt like it was working out and i had a ton of problems while figuring out the aesthetic and the typo and the texts. but it all came together better than i ever expected and i just love this set now. i was happy to see ppl liked this too, so this is the most popular edit of this month.

(oab)plawan + hurt by sleeping at last [x]

it's hard to pick a favorite for this month – despite the sanvee edit already being my obvious FavoriteTM – bc i also love my set for miss mhon (day's mother) [x] that let me went my frustration towards her and my puen x phum parallels set [x] that makes me feel wrong in the head. but i loved this love doesn't have long beans a crazy amount compared to how short and silly that show was. there's just something about oab and plawan - about sailub and pon. they dragged me deep into places with this show and this edit is my ode to that. it was fun to make in its simplicity, i love the colors in it, and pon as plawan is just too pretty (especially when he cries).

OCTOBER: pluto episode 1 [x]

considering how popular pluto has been and how desperate we all are for gls, am not surprised this set is the most popular one for this month. tbh all my pluto edits have been doing quite well in my standards. i love making these so am just happy you guys like looking at them ♥

pit babe pairs + cartomancy [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

never thought 2024 had a sudden pit babe obsession in its sleeve for me but i decided to embrace it. they've talked that the second season would start airing in april, after boys' journey s2 has ended most likely, and i am so very normal about all thi. i've fallen in love with all these boys, both the characters (more than i already was) and the actors, and this edit series only made everything worse. i haven't spent this much time researching things for an edit in a while and i just loved all the analysis i got to do. the process had its ups and downs but overall, i have to say i had a blast.

(picture chosen purely bc i vibed with this kim picture today, tho the kentakim edit might also be my favorite in the set bc the yellow is so good)

NOVEMBER: pluto episode 4 [x]

absolutely deserves to be the most popular set of this month! it's also my personal favorite out of all the edits i've made for pluto. the colors for this one just worked super well and the scenes are perfect, too. let's see how the series ends in two days, i hope i manage to find some fitting colors for the last episode, too :'D

this was my number 6 post on my tumblr top ten.

DECEMBER: yuanyi + you can love him, but you can't keep him [x]

the most popular set and also my favorite of this month, all bc i've gone down the rabbit hole with fangs of fortune. i spent an embarrassing amount of time making this set with all its details; starting from screenshotting the whole damn show and then picking the pictures for this edit from the over 400 images i got, to drawing the golden lines by myself on my drawing tablet so i got them just like i wanted. i shall be making so many more edits for this show, be warned.

this was my number 7 post on my tumblr top ten.

top 10 posts of 2024 then are:

morkday + hands (381 notes)

us pilot (295 notes)

last twilight episode 11 (285 notes)

thamepo pilot (283 notes)

jimmysea for starry magazine (271 notes)

pluto episode 4 (252 notes)

yuanyi + you can love him (231 notes)

vice versa rewatch 2024 (222 notes)

last twilight episode 10 (211 notes)

we are final episode (207 notes)

(you can check your top ten posts here)

it was fun to look back into my year in edits like this and see how i've gone through so many phases in 12 months. i cannot even recognize the person i was in around, let's say, last february. or during summer. it's insane how the night changes or however that thing goes.

thank you if you read this far, and if you've liked my creations or left nice tags under them, i thank you even more! it's an honor to be creating to everybody here and i am grateful that others keep enabling me even when i usually create for myself and maybe two other ppl. it is very important to me tho that i get to be part of this amazing community and don't need to just yell into the void by myself ♥

[tachiharastanacc]

hello fellow tachi fan, do you have any tachi fic recs, also here to say tysm for your contribution to the tachihara tag, our strongest tachihara soldier fr 🫡🫡

I be out here fighting tooth and nail (I hyperfixate on one character at a time and it's him and I need to talk abt him 24/7 actually) so ty for acknowledging my efforts for our cause.

BUT YES FIC RECS (below cut bc I've figure out how to use them)

After All, Spies Are The First To Die In A War

One of my favorite Tachi fics of all time. I'm a sucker for both post-canon and blind Tachi, and this one is great. It's Tachigin, so heads up if that's not ur thing, but I think they're very cute.

Together At Last

Unfinished, probably never going to be finished. But it's a cute couple chapters in the apocalypse. Atsushi-centric but Tachi gets cool moments.

are we there yet?

Hunting Dog road trip fluffy. Silly crack, very cute.

blocks, boy bands, bones, and birthdays

Also not Tachi-centric, but very, very cute. Baby DOA and HD at preschool.

Hunting Dogs (& Cat) Adventures

HD as Fukuchi's dogs (and cat!Jouno) except they cause chaos. Puppy Tachi is there, he's very cute.

It's Still Raining

HD (specifically sgk angst). Tachi isn't there much, but again, I love aftermath fics.

The More The Merrier

Another one of my absolute favorite fics! PM and HD meet at Tachi's apt by accident during the Holidays.

undercover (a table for three)

Ima be so fr this one is a MHA crossover and probably not gonna be updated, by Tachi was one of the main characters

lock picks and rusted metal

by @karmicpunishment

First one is lil Tachi using his ability for the first time and the second is Tachi almost missing his surgery (I'm low key in love with the whole HD surgery concept, so immediate win for me)

government projects club and blood vs water

by @starfocks are also both relatively short and sweet.

First one is most HD surgery pain but with the mafia and the second is found family meets Tachi's shit parents

Wind flower

Really well planned out Chuuya-centric ADA AU, but Tachi is a big part of it and their friendship makes me happy. Poor lil bro is a victim of the Tanizaki's tho.

Solace

by @miammey

Tecchou-centric, but I never see people write Tecchou and Tachi together and it makes me happy whenever I see them.

How to Raise Your Hunting Dog

I'm going to move my fics to ao3 at some point probably (I've been meaning to) and probably just make a Tachi one shot collection. Especially bc I have more that I haven't gotten around to posting here yet. BUT. This one is posted and if u wanna see my ao3 acc when I will end up posting them, that's where it'll be.

I might make a part 2, bc there are definitely more one shots and stuff that I'm missing, but that's what I had in my bookmarks.

I've gone thru pretty much the entire Tachi tag (Sorted by new and just scrolled back to front, it was a few months long process), so there are others. There is just also a lot of junk to sort thru (I'm looking at you skk fics that have Tachihara tagged except he's either so out of character and awful that it's unbearable or he just shows up to say one line and then leave).

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

GUYS I'M BACK-

*trips into my inbox and crashes back to the internet*

Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, had to get my head together for a lil bit. I'm back now tho (and i have yet to check youtube or my inbox-)

...well fuck.

ANYWAYS I'M BACK WHAT DID I MISS DID YALL MISS ME HAHA

okay I'm done tryna be an extrovert now. I got a couple of things plaaaaned while I was gone, including 3 unfinished short stories and a couple of short comics. No, I haven't finished chapter 8 yet, I'm still working on a part of it but I've got most of it drafted (argument dialogue is really hard for me to write properly).

But anyways, that's a bit of stuff, soooooo...

I kinda need a few opinions on what you guys want me to work on next, cuz I have several new options now. Imma list them in number order (tumblr polls only allow a certain amt of characters). Higher the number, less likely to be worked on or done at all. Here we go:

Chapter 6 of my fic, my regular doodles, maybe a few polls

the one comic I started a while earlier that's maybe halfway done

Moon angst short story idea (unrelated to my fic)

meeting Eclipse protocol short story idea (based on my story but not cannon to it)

the thing based on that one post garbage chocolaate posted that still isn't finished despite me starting it half a month ago

the short art thing I haven't gotten around to transferring to digital

"Quit Slouching" short story (been bouncing in my brain for maybe a night? Barely planned it. All I've got is reader tellin Moon to improve his posture, and he thinks it's silly but stupid cuz how would a robot get back problems? but apparently he can and reader's gotta help him out)

"What are you doing here???" (another short story i've hardly drafted that would probably become it's own fic if I'm not careful. Eclipse protocol shows up at your house and you gotta take him in. This is added on from number 4.)

the shit shapeshifting idea I've rambled about maybe twice now that could become a fic but probably won't cuz I don't have the motivation nor the time cuz school starts pretty soon)

earth meets lunar comic idea I still haven't even drawn but have dialogue for

[vogueinnie]

✍︎︎ 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐖 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍

       ━ WARNINGS ;  fem!reader, age gap (reader is 20 and seungmin is 27), mention of cigarettes, smut (focused on the reader’s pleasure), oral (f.), everything is just fluffy and awkward, kinda love at first sight      ━ WORD COUNT ; 2.2k      ━ NOTE ; feedback are so welcomed!!

“At your brother’s work ?!” You clear your throat and apologize for being loud, giving Yeji, your bestfriend, a death glare.

You were supposed to go at her house but, as clumsy as she is, she forgots the keys… in the house. You had two options ; go back to your own, which means procrastinating and giving zero fucks about your homeworks, or go to her brother’s work to take back the keys.

“Hum, yeah… But, there’s a little something… He needs his keys to close the shop, so… we have to work there…” Second death glare. “But you know him, he don’t give a fuck as long as we’re not noisy ! And his co-worker is cool too, I promise.”

You were friend with Yeji since you were a child. Of course you knew her old brother, Hyunjin was such a nice guy. He may seems cold on the outside but he has the warmest personality and had always made you feel like his own little sister even tho you haven’t seen him in a while, due to school.

You sighed at Yeji’s puppy eyes, nodding, knowing that you’ve already lost the battle. She was the best negociator.

That’s how you ended up in front of one of the most famous tattoo shop in your city. Indeed, Hyunjin was the owner of it with his long-time friend. They both were tattoo artists since more or less 2 years. According to Yeji, he was drawing before learning how to talk so it seems pretty logical for him to work in something artistic.

Without knowing why you felt a little bit uneasy, asking the blonde girl if she’s totally sure that it won’t bother Hyunjin and his friend to have you there. You were just students and for adults aged 27-28 years it could be annoying to hear you talk about your lessons. But she was quick to reassure you, even showing you her texts with her brother through her phone.

“Hyunjin ! We’re here !”

As soon as you entered the shop Yeji screamed at his brother and you clap your hand to her forehead.

“Shush ! What if he’s wor- “

“Hello to the prettiest girl heeeeere. No, Yeji, I’m not talking about you, you ugly rat.”

Your smile was immediate after the blond-haired and obviously tattooed boy puts you into a warm hug, patting your head while poking his tongue to his young sister, like the very 28 years old matured adult he is. He had no customers at the moment, and he was just working on some new design, but you can still hear some little machine noises so you guess his friend was tattoing someone in the practice room.

“It’s been a really long time Y/N, how are you ? C’mon, have a sit. Y’all need to work on your classes ? You can sit there, I’m just here, he shows you the sofa right beside the table with his index, if you need anything. You’re at home, here. Seungmin will be over in maybe fourteen minutes so you have time to work.”

You both nod in unision, sitting on the chairs to starts working on an unfinished cases while Hyunjin was giving you two glasses of water to finally go back to focus on his drawings. Yeji and you were sharing ideas, writing and making some researches on your respective laptops. No breaks were allowed unless you’ve finished what you’ve started.

“Maybe we should add the fact that... Hey, Seungmin !” Yeji’s smile was wide and she greets someone behind you, shaking her hands.

Politely, you turn around to face the one you’re supposed to be Hyunjin’s co-worker, Seungmin. You hold back your jaw from dropping on the ground the moment your eyes met his.

He was, honestly, the most beautiful human being you have ever seen. His dark purple hair where falling onto his forehead in a delicate way, covering half of his dark brown and absolutely magnetic eyes. His pretty nose was pierced with a silver ring and his lips were as pink as your burning cheeks. His broad shoulders were hidden in a large black t-shirt and at this right moment your eyes were glued to his inked forearms. Of course you’ve already seen inked people, Hyunjin was one of them, but him…There was something special about him.

“Hello ? Is anybody here ? Youhou, are you alive ?” You heard Hyunjin while he was moving his hands in front of Seungmin’s eyes causing you to cut the contact between the two of us.

Apparently, he was gazing in your eyes too.

“Yeah… yeah, sorry I was just thinking about... you know... stuffs. Hey, Yeji, you good?“ Even his voice was soft and smooth, almost honey-like. He comes closer to the desk you were working on so you immediately stand up, bowing down respectfully and you realized how taller he was compared to you. “Who are you ?”

You frowned your eyebrows, almost agape by his suddenly cold voice and distant attitude. Your eyes can’t no longer detach from each other, and you open slowly your mouth. Everything about him was fascinating, from his lack of expression to the way he was nervously playing with his fingers. Well, you supposed it was nervosity.

“I... I’m Y/N. I’m Yeji’s friend, I’m sorry if we’ve disturb you.”

He hums and nods, leaning over you to take his cigarettes pack and you gulp silently at your sudden proximity. His strong and wooded scent was all around you, making you melt. You had the perfect view on the two black eyes drawn on his throat and you almost felt judged by them from acting like a teenager. It felt like they were staring into your soul, knowing your deepest secrets.

But the most humiliating part was probably the Hwang’s suggestive look on you.

—————————————✰ —————————————

You were so stupid. Nobody could be dumber than you. You were at the highest rank of stupidity. Idiot was your second name.

You sigh, dry throat and shaking hands. You were at the front door of Hyunjin and Seungmin’s tattoo shop. Alone. Indeed, yesterday your brain wasn’t working like usual, thanks to one particular man, and you forgot your phone there. Yes, your phone. You were that distracted. It was 2pm and Yeji couldn’t come with you cause she had classes, but you didn’t. And you really needed your phone after almost a day without it.

You came into the shop, looking all around you to realize that Hyunjin wasn’t here. Seungmin was staring at you from across the room, coming closer to you with your treasure in his hand, and you had forget for a moment how much his inked hands looks like. You stare at the pretty heart drawn on his thumb, the long black line on his major digit and the word “ LOVE “ on his wrist. You were so focused that you almost forgot about your phone.

“You like them ?” You jump at his slow voice and you can feel your cheeks burning instantly. Were you really that dumb to fix your eyes on his hands ? “You can touch them, if you want.”

He puts your phone on the table near you, holding out his two hands in front of you. It was almost sureal. Two adults, standing in front of each other awkardly. You can’t hide the excited smile to grows on your lips and with softness you touch his tattoos with the tip of your index finger, retracing them as if it was a pen. You were surprised by the softness of his pretty skin.

“They are so pretty... You points at a cute little smiley on his other hand. This one is my favorite ! You hear him chuckles, looking at you with such fondly eyes you were so destabilized. You back off him when you realize the situation, biting your lips. I’m sorry... I... I was just... I mean, you know, my phone...”

“You can stay. He said quickly. Hyunjin isn’t here and I have no appointment. I’ve heard you were working on some juridic cases yesterday and I... Well, I have a master in law, so I was wondering maybe I can help you ?”

Your eyes widen in surprise, first cause he was offering you to stay with him, alone, and second cause he has done the same studies as you, something you wouldn't have thought of.

The both of you were then sitting in the sofa, casually talking as if you knew each other since forever. You’ve discovered that he didn’t wants to be a lawyer but his parents had always put some pressure on him to have what they liked to call a good job. And it wasn’t his way of thinking, he wanted to feel free, to love his job and not to feel any pressure from anyone. He was so kind to you, making you more feel comfortable than yesterday. Shy, sweet, talkative and curious about anything you’re saying. A 28 years old man, mature, understanding and independant.

Needless to say that you didn’t talk about your school lessons, but just about the two of you. Also needless to say that you were fascinated. There was just something about his eyes scanning you everytime you were talking, and it felt so good to be the center of his attention. Your conversations were so fluids, you couldn’t hold back yourself to talk and to look at his beautiful features.

“Mind if I draw on you?” He cuts you off when you were talking, grabbing his colorful pens that was near him. He looks at you with his still hypnotic dark eyes and you nod your head with a shy smile. He kneels down infront of you on the ground as you were still sitting on the sofa. You internally thank the beautiful days for allowing you to put on a skirt. “Can I draw on your thighs? I mean, I have a big idea! But I want you to discover it, but if it makes you uncomfortable I-”

“No, no! It’s ok! You can, of course, do it Seungmin. I trust you.”

He smiles timidly, probably knowing that he got a little carried away. He was so passionnate about art that you couldn’t refrein him to do what he has to.

Seungmin then starts drawing on one of your legs, starting from your ankle to your knee. He draws pretty colorful flowers on your skin, it was so soft and beautiful you can’t stop staring at his work on you. He quickly reaches the level of your thigh and he was so close to you that you felt his hot breath against your shivering skin. You felt you mind dizzy for a moment, as his lips were also close to you. Unconsciously you tighten your legs between them, which makes him raise his face to look at you. His pupils were now totally black and this view of him between your legs was all you needed to lose your mind.

You softly grab his hair, making him smirk and immediatly starts to kiss your two thighs. He was so soft, taking his time to discover all of your sensitive spots. And you ? You were already lost, spreading your legs slowly so he can be placed correctly between them. Your inner thighs was his target, he sucks your flesh and you whines at the feeling.

“Please...” You see him smile, licking everywhere but your heat spot. Even your pubic area was drowned in sweet kisses. “Please, I... Do something I can’t...”

Seungmin hums, gripping your legs so they can rest against his shoulders. He lifts your skirt up, moving your pantie on the side and take his time to look at your intimate parts with hungry eyes. You clear your throat, embarassed that he looks at you like that and he gives your clit a kiss.

“So fucking pretty... Fuck, Y/N you’re so pretty, look at that pretty flower...” You chuckles at the surname he gaves to your womanhood. 

He doesn’t waste any more time and starts kissing your wet folds at a slow pace, taking his time to taste your wetness. His tongue was heaven like against you, he was so precise and slow, you couldn’t contain your moans escaping your mouth. His plump lips surround your bud, sucking on it and circling his wet muscle all around your swollen one. 

Your legs tighten against his head as you feel the heat waves crashing against your lower abdom like a delicious torment.

Two of his fingers join his tongue and he finally insert them in your clenching wetness. Your eyes rolls back the moment you feel yourself kinda full, but you lost it the moment he curls his fingers inside of you to stroke your sweetest no-return point.

You moan his name, biting your lips, moving your hips against his magical mouth as he helps you rode your orgasm, pumping his two fingers in you while licking tirelessly your folds and clit the fastest as he can.

Your breath was cut, and you can feel him gives butterflies kisses on you, replacing correctly your clothes on you. He stands up, cleaning his own fingers by licking them which make you blush at the view. He strokes your messy hair, kissing your forehead with a reassuring smile.

“I think I’ve found my muse.” 

[kirindensetsu]

The Making of Fubuki

((Reposting from Den of Angels workshop thread because I wanted my friends to be able to see~))

After years of pining after dolls I couldn't afford as a broke teenager, my first BJD was a Bobobie Sprite I purchased for my 18th birthday. Unfortunately, she didn't live up to my expectations and I never really bonded with her. Her face was cute enough, but the Bobobie body lacked the grace and posing ability I imagined for the Unseelie faerie I'd been daydreaming of for years. Sueding and wiring didn't help, blushing and tattooing highlighted her blockiness, it was a mess. I packed her away and tried not to think about my disappointment for 12 years. In the meantime I learned to build and paint resin garage kits, inherited one of my sister's dolls, bought some others, took anatomy & physiology in college, and did a couple extensive restorations and full-body modifications. I was sure I had thrown her away at some point as a failed project, but last weekend I found her tucked away in a doll bag I thought was empty. Having just finished substantial mods on a Dollshe body, and awaiting an unfinished Unoa kit for my birthday in September, I decided that I owed it to her to try again. Doll nudity below the cut, looooong post--

My Sprite was originally going to be a pooka with golden eyes and extensive woad tattoos. The golden eyes are incredible, so those are staying, but she's now going to be a blue oni to fit in with the rest of my collection. My plan is to do extensive additive epoxy work, and then to use Krylon Fusion to give everything a unified finish. The goal of the project is to reduce the... idk, STRAIGHTNESS of the old Bobobie body. I was never going to be happy with it, the lines were all far too rigid.

Head: Modified mouth for a wider, smirking smile. Magnets added to headcap (old Bobobie used an S-hook iirc; I did this part back in 2008). Forehead drilled for 3mm brass rod armature, and epoxy used to sculpt horns over rod. Bust: Substantial subtractive modifications to breasts, which involved removal and readdition of nipples. Addition of epoxy clay to back and shoulders to give a more curved body line in profile. Deepening of shoulder sockets with 18mm eye bevel, followed by sanding to make shoulders narrower. Waist: Reshaping of upper torso joint into sphere for smoother range of motion. Subtraction of resin in back and addition of epoxy in front to enhance lumbar curve. Hips: Substantial reshaping of lower waist seam to more naturally follow the pelvic girdle. It reminded me of granny panties before  Added epoxy to butt, again for lumbar curve. Thighs: Suwariko joint mod (cut the thigh and added a PVC insert to enable swivelling at the hip). Added epoxy to make her thighs look less straight. Calves: Removed 1cm of length at the ankles and rebevelled the socket. Removed resin at the ankles to bring them in, and added epoxy at the calves to make them curvier. Feet: Sculpted little claws, which were cute, and then decided the feet needed to be 5mm longer. Cut across, drilled and pinned with brass rod for structural strength, gap filled with epoxy clay. I also modded her feet to have defined arches and balls back when I first got her. Alas, spitting into the ocean. I added S-hooks, but did so by drilling the ankle and inserting brass rod to form the axle for the hook. Arms: The proportions on her upper arms BOTHERED me! they were so SHORT! and I only just figured out that's what I hated about them last week! I added 5mm to the upper arms by cutting them in the middle and using SteelStik to make a structural repair (plumber's epoxy putty has a shorter open time but far greater structural strength than artist's epoxy clay). Sanded the heck out of the wrists to give them a more delicate taper. Hands: Beyond salvage. The hands were my least-favorite part of this sculpt. I tried to bulk them up to look less spidery but it was just too difficult... I've ordered a different pair of MSD hands which will have claws added, and then when everything is painted it'll all match. Thanks for reading this far! Here's a preview of what her golden eyes look like next to Krylon Fusion in Antique Blue.

((first progress post)) I think I'm mostly done adding epoxy clay (at least where it'll show; presumably the wrist sockets will require tweaks to fit the new hands), so now it's time for finish sanding. I start with 60 grit for shaping, then switch to a 120 grit sanding sponge. To check for scratches, pinholes, and inadequately feathered edges, I apply a wash of diluted acrylic paint. Once the paint has dried, I scrub the piece with a nylon scouring pad. Paint remains in the surface irregularities.

All sanded with 220 grit. I don't think I'll be going higher than 400 because I want there to be some tooth for the paint.

Any pitting in the epoxy clay that can't be sanded out is marked with a Sharpie and will be patched with Tamiya spot putty.

I did a test spray of the Krylon Fusion on the headcap and it's fantastic! Holy cow is it *poisonous* tho, I'm used to working with volatile chemicals but this was something else. Get OUT OF THE AREA between coats and leave it outside until it stops outgassing, not just until it's ready to handle.

This test piece is four light coats sprayed 1 minute apart, allowed to cure for 4 hours, and then wetsanded to remove the spray texture. It's pretty sturdy but I will wait several more days to see how it continues to cure before experimenting with matte sealants. ((progress update 2))

Haven't done much but sand-and-fill-and-sand-and-fill, but my 14mm beveller came in today so I can start deepening her elbow and ankle sockets. Added some epoxy clay to the insides of the eyewells so 14mm eyes will fit with no gap. I need a needle file to clean up the corners of her mouth... Monster feets! Nails on the right came out better than the left, still need to feather-sand everything.

Elbows progress. The early Bobobie elbows are I guess /technically/ double-jointed because the joint is a sphere with two slots, but I thought I could do better than that. You can see epoxy clay spliced in to make the sphere into a peanut: this isn't a structurally sound repair unless you pop it apart and drill/pin/glue-epoxy it back together.

View from the back. By keeping the joint heads spherical with no elbow-shaped detailing, there's some rotation as well as flexion, which I like.

Touching her face with one of her old hands. I hope the new ones come soon!

((progress update 4))

In good news, these parts are all ready for paint! It's really hard to do prepwork with no filler primer, hope I didn't miss any spots...

In less good news, her new hands arrived and they are... very smol ;u; I forgot that the new trend for slim minis means that everyone has TINY LITTLE HANDS.

They are, however, beautifully sculpted and a good 3D reference for what needs fixing and how. Bobobie palm is very short relative to fingers: I made a transverse cut behind the knuckles and added epoxy to lengthen More curved volume across the back of the hand: Not necessarily realistic, but looks a little cuter, plus it makes the transition into the cylinder of the wrist look less stylistically jarring. More defined joint angles: Some of these I did via cut-and-thermoform repositioning, mostly I'm aiming to fake it by building up and carving away at the weird smooth curves. The fingers are just TOO SKINNY: But obviously I'm not going to squish rice-grain-sized blobs of epoxy to the fingers, right? It's too fiddly, it doesn't want to stick. What's the solution? Brace for a truly hideous WIP image--

"AAAAAAGH WHAT IS THAT DARK GRAY MESS" it's JB Weld epoxy! It's like load-bearing, slow-curing modeller's putty! Slathering putty onto an armature and then carving it away to refine the shape is how anime figure artists make hands and detailed hair.  I was thinking about it from a polymer clay technique/perspective so I missed the obvious solution. Hand in the foreground has more layers than the hand in the background, every layer gets the shape a lil closer. ((progress post 5)) Parts set up on sticks so I can handle them without touching...

... and after 4 light coats!

Closeup of the head, lil' glossy because it's still drying. For the deeper areas like the joint slots, mouth, and the crannies of the ears, I'm going to have to decant some of the paint into a jar and apply it with a sacrificial brush.

((progress post 6)) I return from Depression! I finally finished sanding-and-spraying the Krylon Fusion coats, gave her a last polish with microfine to even out the texture, and have started blushing her. I'm using a mixture of Tamiya X-series acrylics applied via airbrush for basic contouring, then I'll go back in with pastel to add warm tones and details.

Fun discovery: in an attempt to cover some accidental overspray, I tried spraying the Fusion directly into the paint cup of the airbrush and using it to "erase" back to the base color. I'm NEVER using this product straight from the can again, it goes on so smooth and gorgeous from the airbrush! No orange peel or bubbles to sand away. I'm seriously tempted to get a can of pink and try blushing with it.

((progress post 7)) Doing a faceup over a spray-painted substrate is HARD I want to CRY. I talked about sanding out the spray texture to get an untextured surface, right? Welp, didn't/couldn't sand well enough in the corners of the mouth and the folds of the eyelids, so it's crusty-looking with pastels over it and now there's nothing I can do about it that doesn't involve stripping down to resin and starting again.

((final post)) Sueded and strung!

I didn't take pictures of the sueding process because I was using Barge Cement and it is messy and time-sensitive. I used masking tape to make templates of her joints, transferred to some thin gray lamb suede I found on eBay, and glued it fuzzy side out. The suede was thicker than real pliver, more like the thickness of silicone KIPS discs, but I think it worked out without too many fit issues. The trim store had 3.5mm elastic in a beautiful slate-blue color that I thought would look nicer in the joint slots, so she's strung throughout with thicker elastic. Some more poses to show off the functional mods~ Suwariko joints let her sit crosslegged, and more mobile wrists let her put her hands into the pose.

A more ball-and-socked shaped contact surface at her waist lets her slouch at a full range of angles instead of being locked into two.

With longer upper arms, she can reach the ground in this pose! You can also see how the modded waist joint lets her cock her hips.

She could always stand with locked knees. I think she needs some wire in her legs to let the suwariko joints hold their rotation against gravity, but I'll see how the elastic tension settles in first.

A parting shot out the snowy window. We've been having a hard time picking between a few names for her, but I think this settles it. Welcome back, Fubuki~

[millakatariina64]

Happy Saiou Day!! 💙💜

So if anyone remembers last summer I said I'd post the complete portraits of my talentswap designs and a climactic scene from the AU with a full summary when they're finished? Well, I didn't forget!

So, below are my headcanons for Ultimate Supreme Leader Shuichi and Ultimate Detective Kokichi~!

(I'm really passionate about this AU, I hope you read it ':3)

(Tho no climactic scene unfortunately)

Ultimate Supreme Leader Shuichi

So first of all Shuichi's parents are still celebrities, move overseas and leave him with his uncle. However in this AU Shuichi's uncle is a politician who actually has a really good reputation. Problem is, his uncle is incredibly busy and is almost never home because of that. Still, he wants to be like his uncle (though the wish is fueled more with wanting to be good enough and accepted). Shuichi's personality is basically the same.

So then one day I Alligator girl's (Gonna call her Wani) alligator gets stolen by some group who're going to sell it and they threatened Wani to not call the police or tell anyone. So she asks Shuichi to help. Somehow they manage to retrieve the alligator together secretly (idk) and right afterwards one of Wani's friends is in trouble with some shady local business. So Wani suggests they make a group to stop these sorts of people and that Shuichi would be the leader. He agrees, he still wants to do something to make this world a better place like his uncle.

After that Wani starts asking her most trusted friends at school if they'd like to join (Shuichi would never have the social courage to ask someone that). When they get to 10 members (all girls) they stop growing for some time and decide to get themselves uniforms. When they're finally considering getting more people into the team since Shuichi doesn't really know these people, he decides to start wearing a mask to be safe. He also starts using the code name "Crow". The other 10 members go by flower names.

The group then grows a lot. And by the time Shuichi's officially scouted to be an Ultimate, it has around 1500 members. And it's making him very worried as Shuichi's not even sure anymore if he's skilled enough to lead it. The group started out stopping or changing corrupt businessmen, unethical businesses and other evil groups. And although that still is what they do, he's realized that the way they go about things is pretty illegal. (When he first realized this, he started wearing a hat.) Obviously he forbids violence, but they still use blackmail and steal information. Also they need money for the group to function at this point so they've had to get it through illegal means that Shuichi's not sure of anymore. So Shuichi is immensely scared of being revealed as the organization's leader because it would completely destroy his organization and it would also annihilate his uncle's as well as his parents' careers on the spot. Basically everything would get ruined and it would be a nation-wide scandal. Perhaps even an international scandal.

He gets even more worried when the police finally start realizing there's some sort of group that's blackmailing big businesses and start investigating.

When he gets scouted to Hope's Peak, the letter comes to his base and even HPA doesn't know his identity, just that he's a high school student. He doesn't think like he deserves the title at all since it's really his organization that does the hard stuff and Wani's the one that's made it grow and he shouldn't be panicking like this if he really was a "great leader". But he still decides to go due to "If you manage to graduate from Hope's Peak, you will be set for life!". But as his family can't know of him being scouted there as the Ultimate Supreme Leader, he forges a letter claiming he's the Ultimate Lucky Student which he shows to them. And at HPA he requests he be referred to by that title.

Problem is, now his year group has 2 Ultimate Lucky Students and a certain Ultimate Detective gets suspicious.

Miscellaneous: Shuichi really wants to use make-up but he's really afraid to at home since he feels his uncle would think it's really weird. So at the organization's base Wani heard about it and got him some makeup and now Shuichi wears makeup when on missions and at the base. Also the organization has a helicopter. (It's a central part of that climactic scene I talk so much about.) Shuichi thinks about becoming a detective perhaps, but he's not sure how he'd be able to leave his group anymore so...

Ultimate Detective Kokichi

For Kokichi I still have my pretty elaborate origin story. His early years are great until at some point his real father finds out that Kokichi's mother had actually had the Kokichi and his older twin brother with him and not her husband leaving him alone. And thus he murders Kokichi's mother out of spite. Kokichi and Tamotsu (my headcanon name for his twin) see the murder take place and flee. However, they were never actually able to make out who the murderer was and they knew even less of why their mother was murdered.

The murder never gets solved and this mystery stays in Kokichi's mind. Who ruined his life, who killed his mother?

(I feel they'd have like an uncle and their mother's husband lived with them obviously. There'd also be other factors like disposed evidence and the suspects vanishing making the murder so much harder to figure out afterwards.)

So Kokichi and Tamotsu end up at an orphanage, one related to the one Maki's at. It's kind of a terrible place, but it's where Kokichi meets (most of) Dice. They become inseparable friends (tho don't form a group with the name Dice. I'll still call them that here for clarity's sake though). However Tamotsu who had always been supporting Kokichi and being there for him at his side starts becoming bitter (jealous?) against Kokichi due to dice and starts turning against them. This is the time when Kokichi starts developing his lying to protect himself from Tamotsu as well as the borderline abusive authority at the orphanage. He's also started to figure out the dark secret of the orphanage training children to become assassins.

I feel like during this time a detective was investigating the orphanage. So when things get too dire and Kokichi and Dice escape the orphanage the detective ends up taking them in after finding them on the streets afterwards since he can't just send them to an orphanage at that point. So Kokichi and Dice end up staying with the detective and start helping him out. Kokichi's especially interested in the orphanage now and he and the detective with the help of the other Dice members figure out a lot of stuff. (This is also the time the rest of the Dice members "join".) Until one day the detective gets assassinated by someone from the orphanage sending them a message to stop the investigation.

So Kokichi takes over the Detective's office and to get by he starts working on all kinds of small cases with the help of Dice. And that's what they mostly do. Among those small cases are often cases that have something to do with saving children. However Kokichi occasionally also takes on homicides and investigates organizations. He wants to be prepared for when he finally investigates his mother's murder as well as the organization behind the orphanage. He wants those people locked up in jail forever.

Personality wise Kokichi's pretty much the same. He still loves pranks, lies all the time and would have elaborate stories (lies) about like for example how he was the one who managed to put the previous Queen of Novoselic's assassin behind bars. (The previous Queen was not even assassinated). He'd also jokingly blackmail people by claiming he knows something about them or could figure out something incriminating about them. He never really means it, though he would like try to find out harmless embarrassing secrets to mess with people.

Around the time he gets scouted to Hope's Peak he's specifically requested to assist in the investigation of a mysterious organization that steals information and sends blackmail and other such things. It's a huge flashy case, so of course he picks it up.

At Hope's Peak he then meets an (surprisingly mysterious?) Ultimate lucky student who seems really interested about his Ultimate detective talent and his lying.

Bonus

The original portraits from summer 2020. My laptop just broke when I finished the lineart and then I couldn't really edit them on my new tablet anymore and they were getting really old so I just decided to completely redo them. Also lmk if you want the sketch of the climactic scene since I'm not sure if I'll finish it even though I really like it. It looks pretty okay even if it's unfinished.

Also hope this is coherent and that I haven't forgotten anything aah. And damn if you actually made it this far gezus. This took like 4+ hours?? oops.

[miss-ingno]

Ao3 Tag Game

T1I was tagged by @amethystinawrites! Thank you, friend :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 161 total, 62 of which are locked (so you only see 99 if you’re not logged in)

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

As of Oct 25, 2021 I have 898,020 words posted on Ao3.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

108 works for RTAH RPF, my old main fandom

9 for Guardian (镇魂) which is my current fandom, so expect that number to go up

7 for MCU (including a Jurassic World crossover)

6 for Critical Role (campaign 1 and 2)

6 for Yu-Gi-Oh! (tho most of them are archived from my FFnet days)

5 Dragon Age: Inquisition and 3 Dragon Age II fics

4 for Lazer Team (a RT movie)

4 in Disney’s Descendants (I really should finish the Juma blind date fic)

2 in Harry Potter (both archived from FFnet, a drabble collection + a YGO! crossover)

1 in Assassin’s Creed (the only one I was proud enough to crosspost from FFnet to Ao3 when I made my account, the other archiving happened later :’D)

1 for Leverage (a small OT3 thingie)

1 for Sense8

1 unfinished WIP for The Untamed, which really, I need to get back to

1 Teen Wolf one (never watched the show but read all the fic lol)

1 in Stargate SG-1 (which is a Critical Role crossover, not a pure one)

a very short and unfinished Naruto fic

also a handful of DnD ficlets and 2 stories set in Vigilante2890, a sci-fi comic that doesn’t have a fandom tag (yet) so it’s under Original Work in the drop down menu

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Partners in Crime

Blindfold

The Dwight Timing

Take No Prisoners (Take No Shit)

Just Let Me Know If You Want It (It’s Strictly Physical)

The first 4 are all from RTAH days and contain Mr. Persona Non Grata so I hope I’ll get popular work in other fandoms to dethrone them some day 😅 I’m still proud of my writing - but also Prisoner is my oldest and first in that fandom and doesn’t stand up to my current level of quality/scrutiny RIP but it was also the first time I a) hit 30k in a fic and b) finished a chaptered WIP

Strictly Physical, on the other hand, holds up well enough and honestly kinda sad I didn’t stick around DAII/Fenders fandom for longer because those two were one hell of a ship :D

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! For one, getting comments leaves me super excited and I want to give that feeling back. For another, I love engaging with readers/my stories/others’ stories, so I also appreciate it when an author replies to my comments, thus I do it, too.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ohhh hm. I tend to go for happy or at least hopeful endings, so let me think.

Eternal Eclipse ends on something of a bittersweet note - it’s hopeful, but the lovers aren’t reunited, and grievances are aired but not necessarily comforted? I tried for soft (I really wanted a happy ending) but decided I should do that in a sequel, which I’m now not gonna write, so :’) we’re stuck with this ending I guess.

And Blood Alone Remains has a different ending for each character because I was playing with the characters all being at a different point in their arcs. So the last scene ends with someone just starting their second act, and another character being thrown in danger, while the main character’s story is more or less wrapped up, but her love interest’s is at a low point...? (I really really loved this concept ngl)

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Yes! “Craziest” is probably the very short MCU/RTAH thing I did, but the one I’m most proud of is definitely the SG-1/Critical Role fic (Pike and Grog meeting the SG-1 team!)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I tend to receive more generalized anon hate on tumblr, but I’ve gotten a couple questionable comments before. Which I only recall vaguely because I went ahead and pretty much deleted immediately, so I can’t even say what they were about in hindsight. So I guess deleting them worked to delete them from my brain? :’)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! All kinds, kinky shit, whatever I’m in the mood for or is fascinating to me. I’m super into a/b/o and d/s stuff, in particular. I’ve got a heat!fic I’m nearly done with that’ll go up soon, and a roleplay cop/arrested scene that’s about halfway done. Kink negotiations are also always fun ngl

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of! But I’ve had a fic “inspire” another very closely before where in hindsight, I kinda wish I’d reacted more strongly, but I didn’t want to offend, and there were differences, it wasn’t straight up plagiarism? Idk that’s always a hard case in fandom.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With the lovely @itskaysno <3 And I’m pretty much always down for collabs! ...if I have the time lol. There’s been a couple writers I was planning to work together with, but then we moved on to different fandoms or life didn’t sync up for long enough to work it out sadly </3

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Right now, I’m stuck in Weilan hell and not leaving, because it’s cozy and warm down here, okay.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That would be Yu-Gi-Oh! My very first fics were in German on animexx way back when. I started in YGO! roleplay forums, and then wanted a story to continue where my RP partner dropped out, so I rewrote the whole thing

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m really proud of how Dark Stars, Burning Hearts turned out ngl

and it’s probably cheating if it’s a WIP, but I have great hopes for the Arranged Marriage AU and I’m living for the bits I’ve already written 👀 this is how the war is won is also up there, and I’m looking forward to finishing it (hopefully soon) so I can share!

*takes a deep breath* *rubs hands* Alright! Tagging @itskaysno @ganglylimbs @shadeofazmeinya @sorcererinslytherin @sailorbryant @kahnah23 @midwintersong @fornhaus @elenothar @sasamelons @bird-armadda @buriedbybooks @uy8hg @ishipallthings and anyone else who wants to play!

[kittyreading]

Manga Master List: Recommendations and My Personal Wish List

!!//PLEASE READ//!!

Below is every manga from my amazon wishlist I would recommend(as of February 11 2021) with a picture and a 3-5 sentence explanation of what the manga is about. Underneath will also be the number of volumes I have read, the number I own, and it’s status of ongoing or complete and how many volumes it has. This way you can decide for yourself if you think I have read enough of it to give an accurate recommendation.

This list only includes manga you can purchase (including digital purchases) from the wishlist. I decided that I would in fact include my personal amazon manga wishlist here and at the bottom for people to buy THEMSELVES a copy of any of these manga they would like. Keep in mind many of these won’t have volume 1 in the list but you should be able to get to the series page from the list. If a manga shows up on the amazon list that I did not include in this one that is because I have not read enough of them(or any of them) to recommend. Ok? Cool, enjoy the list!!

1. The Girl from the Other side is about a little girl living with a gentleman monster. It is a supernatural mystery with beautiful art.

Own: 0

Read 4

Series: Ongoing at 9 volumes

2. Pumpkin Scissors is a military fantasy about a War Veteran named Randal Oland who joins the pumpkin scissors core to help with war relief and uncover the deep corruption of the government. It is similar in themes to FMA in the sense it appears to be based on a World War, and corruption of government but it more focused on the power of the noble houses in government. There is also a fun science element but it is not as in focus as in FMA. The two but are very very different overall tho. Only 5 volumes were distributed in physical English copies as the publishing company went bankrupt, all others are only available digitally. (I couldn’t get the manga vol. 1 cover to work so the picture above is a poster for the anime)

Own: 0

Read: around 10

Series: Ongoing at 23 volumes

3. Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun is a slice of life about a bunch of highschoolers. Nozaki is the mangaka of a popular Shoujo manga who uses his personal experiences with friends to create his monthly comic series. It is a fun gender stereotype reversal manga with a large cast of both male and female characters (one could be HC as genderfluid but she’s still canonically female at this time) The manga is one of the easiest to read as the panels are mostly in straight down rectangles so the pages are extremely easy to follow and is very funny.

Own: 1

Read: 11

Status: Ongoing at 12 volumes

4. Yu-Gi-Oh! is well known to be about the card game yu-gi-oh, using magic and myths to further the story, HOWEVER, Yu-gi-oh! is the “Season 0″ of the series it is much darker than to be expected and there is no card game. The Yu-gi-oh most are familiar with is Yu-gi-oh Duelist (just found this out myself) and is the Yu-gi-oh you probably already know. There is no overarching plot to this mini series it is just Yugi fucking shit up playing games and destroying some bullies. I have yet to read any of Duelist as of the creation of this post therefore I cannot recommend it :/ 

Own: 5 (1-3 & 6-7)

Read: 7

Status: Completed at 7 volumes

5. The Way of the House Husband is about a former yakuza who gets married and flips his script. He becomes a house husband for his working wife and carries on doing chores and errands while still looking and acting scary unintentionally and getting himself in trouble. It is a slice of life comedy with some adult jokes but is over all extremely funny and pleasant to read.

Own: 0

Read: 2

Status: Ongoing at 7 volumes

6. Hikaru no Go is about a highschool boy who finds a haunted Go board. He meets the ghost who once was a prolific Go player. Together they work to become a world class Go champion meeting new people along the way. This series was cut short due to legal issues with a real Go player and therefore will remain unfinished but the story that is there is golden. It is still one of the most popular manga in Japan.

Own: 0

Read: 5

Status: Complete at 23 Volumes

7. Zatch Bell! This manga is about a teenager named Kiyo who gets sent a young boy with amnesia named Zatch Bell who turns out to be an alien called a momodo. Now the two must battle other momodo in order to understand what happened to Zatch and to make Zatch the new king. Along the way they make many friends and save both the momodo and human worlds. This one is difficult because it is a classic that did not do well in America so the volumes are expensive and the series is unfinished in English. You can only buy 27 of the volumes in English and a few of them are almost impossible to find, however it is well worth the money if you can afford it and it is available online.

Own: 6 (1-5 & 13)

Read: 15

Status: Complete at 33 Volumes only 27 printed in English (you can finish series online)

8. Fullmetal Alchemist is a cult classic most have read it, watched the series, or heard of it at the very least. This is one of the most popular Manga of all time and for good reason. The manga is about 2 brothers Alphonse and Edward on a journey to return their bodies to normal after committing the taboo of human transmutation. The manga has themes of racism, government corruption and manipulation of the military. The versions on my wishlist are the special Fullmetal Editions so they will have a different price point and volume number than the regular volumes or the omnibuses’ 

Own: 12

Read: 12

Status: Complete at 27 Volumes

9. Princess Jellyfish is about a young woman who is sort of an outcast otaku living with 5 other otaku women. She has a deep love for jellyfish as they remind her of her late mother. She meets a beautiful woman who turns out to be a male college student and slowly comes out of her shell making new friends and growing with old ones as well. This manga is very sweet and I really don’t know what else to say haha.

Own: 0

Read: 4

Status: Complete at 17 volumes

10. !!!HUGE TW FOR EATING DISORDERS!!! In Clothes Called Fat is a, oneshot, non romanticizing story of an office woman trying to lose weight and developing several eating disorders in the process. She goes through hardships in relationships and bullying as well. It has a bittersweet ending and should be read with caution but it is beautifully done. Please do not read this if you are under the age 16 at the very youngest there are NSFW moments as well as just generally not being a topic for younger audiences.

Own: No

Read: Yes

Status: Completed one shot

11. My LOVE Story!! Is an adorable Slice of Life shojo about a highschooler named Takeo Gouda, his girlfriend Yamato, and his best friend and hear throb Suna. This series is rather refreshing as the relationship starts pretty much immediately, the best friend is very supportive, and it is focused on Takeo’s personality over looks as he is often compared in manga to a gorilla or bear. It is a generally heart warming story with some emotional side plots. The ending is sort of sudden but it’s really enjoyable.

Own: 6 (1-3,8,10-12)

Read: 13

Status: Completed at 13 Volumes

12. Soul Eater is pretty popular but if you don’t know what it is about it is about a Weapon named Soul and his Meister Maka. They attend a school that teaches them how to defeat people before they turn into Demons, saving the world in the process. Once a weapon eats 100 evil souls and a witches soul they can become the new death Scythe! That is the plot presented, and it of course goes off into a much more complicated storyline. It is super fun and engaging with a fascinating plot near the end.

Own: 5

Read: 15

Status: Completed at 25 Volumes

13. D. Gray-Man is a little complicated. Similarly to Soul Eater D. Gray-Man is a story based around defeating people turned demon and the saving of the world through an organization, however the plot gets very complicated very quickly. The art is some of the most interesting and beautifully fun art I’ve come across and the characters are (so far as I’ve read) all amazing. The story has a lot of christian influence and is one you have to really keep up with to understand but I recommend it regardless!

Own: 10

Read: 10

Status: Ongoing at 27 Volumes

14. One-Punch Man is also very popular and is about a man who becomes so strong he only needs to punch you once to completely annihilate you, and it greatly annoys him. This manga greatly touches on the themes of self worth as Saitama becomes a hero that no one seems to want. The fights are fun and engaging, tho at times can be difficult to read. The art is gorgeous, with some of the most heavily detailed work I have ever seen.

Own: 3

Read: 7

Status: Ongoing at 21 Volumes

15. The Boy and The Beast is the manga adaptation of the movie by the same name. This is a bittersweet story about a boy who finds a family in the land of the beasts and the repercussions of this intermixing. It is sweet and sad and there’s not much else to say, but that it is a beautifully crafted story.

Own: 1

Read: 1 (but I’ve seen the movie and read the light novel)

Status: Complete at 4 Volumes

16. MAR is not a manga I should be recommending as I genuinely don’t think I have read enough of the story to do so but I love it so much I’m going to anyway. MAR is a classic Isekai Shonen, a kid goes through a door into another world and has to fight a war to save it, there is a super fun magic system and some wonderful story building with genuinely enjoyable characters and battles. I am recommending this more based off the anime than the manga itself because it was one of my absolute favorites when I was younger, so take from that what you will! This manga has the same issue Zatch Bell does however, the series did not do amazingly so the volumes can be expensive!

Own: 3

Read: 3

Status: Complete at 15 Volumes

Thank you for your time haha! I hope you liked the list, here is my wishlist again and if you have any questions please let me know!! I will try to keep this master list updated as it and the wishlist will only continue to grow, but I make no promises for doing it often. Making this took me a very long time so I hope you like it!

[catradora]

hey! do you have any good fic recommendations? i’m rediscovering the catradora tag on ao3 and it’s hard to look through all of it

oh boy, do i...

Here’s post s5:

your hair was long when we first met by @strangehunger 

A study of character and relationship growth through hair, or: Five times Adora helped Catra with her hair, and one time Catra helped Adora with hers.

Hate by @catbruhdora (this is more glimmer+catra focused but it’s so good)

Now that the world's not ending, Glimmer and Catra have a much-needed talk in the small hours of the morning.

tell me how to feel about you now by icarusfallen

Catra hasn’t known a good night of sleep in years.

Naively, she had believed going back to sharing a bed with Adora might’ve changed that but perhaps there are wounds too deep for even She-Ra to fix them.

we only see daylight (I only see you) by @gostorain

Adora & Catra navigate the weeks, months, years after beginning their new life.

or

a study of happiness & love through time

split this yearning open by @rushvalleys

Adora, relearning Catra, and Catra learning to heal.

to arrive where we started by @artemisbye

Adora doesn't really understand Etherian traditions, but this one feels special enough to pursue.

if i loved you less by @pefruma

adora, a character study.

and here’s general fics! 

constant as the northern star by @rushvalleys​ (warning for character death)

She-Ra, a study in reincarnation: birth, death, and rebirth.

Or: it’s a hard job loving a hero, but someone’s got to do it.

As long as we stay together (if we just stay together) by Herothehardway (currently unfinished w/ 2 chapters left. author is def finishing it tho!) 

Adora is an Astrophysics PhD student who just can’t seem to write her dissertation. When the opportunity arises to work at the IceCube Neutrino Detector at the South Pole, she jumps at the chance, even though she’ll be stuck there for six months during the Antarctic Winter. When she arrives, she discovers that her research partner is her former roommate, former teammate, former best friend, former, well, everything, who she hasn’t seen since they graduated from college five years ago.

& we too shall yield to love (et nos cedamus amori) & buried a hatchet (it’s coming up lavender) by @figbian​

medieval!catradora au &  au where catra and adora get stuck in the portal instead of angella

i didn’t list unfinished fics, but they are good! unfortunately, the show just came out so fast that i dont think authors could keep up with canon changing. they’re still worth reads! 

[moringmark]

Hi all! Moringmark here.

Some news about A Tale of Two Butterflies, I’m sorry that after finishing Chapter 2, the series will have a big hiatus before I continue it.

“Oh dang, another unfinished AU.” You might think, but I promise that won’t be the case, to explain, I’ll need to finally answer the question I recived the most in my inbox(which I was too afraid to answer until now) - What happened to the Ship War AU?

Well, the creation of Ship War AU was...an accident, it started with a page of comic I drew just for a gag, so even though I had a lot of fun drawing the AU, it wasn’t well-planned from the start. Yes I do have an idea about how it play out in the next few story arcs, buuuut I never had a final conclusion about what’s gonna happen to Elizabeth and Jam, it was really hard to continue it, especially after SVTFOE ended.

A Tale of Two Butterflies tho, is different. I actually started the AU with a final conclusion already in mind, so I know how the story will end, and I honestly can’t wait to show it to everyone. Therefore, there’s no way I’ll abandon it.

Sadly, right now I am having some quality issue with the series, and I need to rethink the pacing of the whole story too, that and I am also trying to start some original projects of my own, which also affect the time I could spend on the AU. So that’s why I decided I’ll have a big hiatus for AToTB after finishing Chapter 2, until I figure this out and able to make a passable schedule of everything I’m planning.

Meanwhile, Tom vs Jannanigans will still be post at an alarmingly random and slow-pacing way...well just like it always been, so maybe one page a week or something. Anyway, thanks for all your support along the way, and I should make more updates about what I’m doing in the future.

[marshmallowprotection]

WARNING FOR MAJOR SPOILERS TO ONE OF CMC’S STORY AND TRUE BIO BECAUSE MY BLOG WILL PROBABLY HAVE SOME SORT OF STORY THAT WILL INVOLVE IT EVENTUALLY SO YEAH

So it’s been a little and because I got Day 4 BE on Saeran’s AE I have to do it all over again (because I doubt that on Day 3 there is enough heart opportunities to get the GE) so I decided to sketch and finish drawings I had left unfinished in order to devote my time to the AE. I literally am on the “Secure Chat Just For Us” chat on Day 1 whilst I type this, so uh yeah.

These drawings are of my CMCs Yeona (red haired girl) and Emmeryn (brown haired girl). I really like how Yeona looks, Emma (I’m calling her that for the rest of this post)…tbh for some reason her legs bother me a little, but I think thats the point considering she’s 5'9 and is mostly legs XD 

And also I don’t know why I went with yellow for Emma, since it’s kind of completely opposite to her story, like I only went with it due to her eyes. For Yeona I went with blue/purple for no real reason tbh. Both colors look good on both of the characters so it’s not that big of a deal but meh. 

Also I probably need to stop using blue now because now Marina, Sayaka, and Yeona all have blue in their design (though Marina’s color scheme is black & blue, and Yeona has a bit of royal purple) which is half of the current MCs if you include Valkeria (even though Valkeria is not really a MC, she’s the face of my blog and is meant to be extremely annoying, though, she has some depth to her I’ve yet to reveal uwu but still she is meant to be someone who probably couldn’t fit with any of the Mysme boys, even tho she probably is one of the most tragic characters I have created. I’ll share her true info at the end of this submission because reason. Not a match up, just want to show it.)

Yeona

Emmeryn

Valkeria’s TRUE Info: 

Full Name: Valkeria Ambervale

 International Age: 27 (AS) 28 (OS)

 Korean Age: 28 (AS) 29 (OS)

 Nicknames: The Valk, Valkyrie, Ria, Dirty Anomaly, Dirty Half-Breed, Monster

 Species: Half-Elf, Half-Human

 Blood Type: AB-

 Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

 Marital Status: Single [Shipped With No One]

 Ethnicity: Lefititian

 Nationality: World of Mystic Messenger’s South Korea (because there are other worlds with South Korea as a country)

 Religion: None (Theist, But Belongs To No Religion)

 Birthdate: April 1st, 2009 (in Lefititia, Just Says April 1st Is Her Birthday In Other Worlds And Doesn’t Give A Year)

 Zodiac: Aries

 Height: 5′7 (170 Centimeters)

 Weight: 140 lbs (63 kgs)

 Status: Alive (All Routes)

 Occupation: Interdimensional Traveler

 Hobbies: Annoying Marina, Teasing Yoosung, Communicating With The Admin, Stargazing, Being Aloof, Fawning Over Zen’s Handsomeness with Jaehee

 Likes: The Stars, Light Coldness, Astronomy, Running 

 Dislikes: Being Overly Hot, Freezing Cold, People Trying To Pry, Being Asked Too Many Questions

 Affiliations: RFA

 Relatives: ???

 Background: Valkeria is an interdimensional traveler who came from the world of Lefititia, a world which suffice to say is a fantasy world. But it’s far from a paradise nor a happy world. Half-breeds, as people like her are called, are heavily discriminated against and her life has been one of evading assassination attempts and studying interdimensional travel in order to escape the world. Her parents were killed when she 4 and she was sent to an orphanage where most of the children there thought of her as disgusting and she barely got enough food and water to survive. When she was adopted when she was 12 she only continued to be abused, and she doesn’t even know why she was adopted by the people she was meant to call her “new parents”. Despite the trials and tribulations which came due to her half-breed status, she managed to learn how to travel dimensions, and when she was 15 she escaped her abusive adoptive parents by traveling to another world. She never returned to her homeworld and instead lived a life of wandering dimensions and timelines, never feeling like she belonged in any of the worlds to which she traveled to. In fact, she never felt like she belonged anywhere due to her half-breed status. As she grew up, she developed a defense mechanism to hide her internal constant sadness: Extreme fake energetic-ness, eccentricity, and a habit of riling people up, as well as a habit of annoying and teasing others. Even without that front of energetic-ness, she has extreme difficulty with getting close to others because inside she fears being hurt like she always has been due to most if not all of society in her homeworld forsaking and abusing her because of her being a half-breed. 

Valkeria is not actually truly so annoying as she pretends to be, actually quite the opposite. The “real her” is a person who is extremely calm and quiet and prefers to be alone, and she has never known love and has never been complimented genuinely and rejects most compliments even whilst her front is up. Though she isn’t as harsh in rejecting compliments with her front, as with her front she dodges responding to the compliment (not like she gets any with how annoying she pretends to be), whilst without her front, she full-on accuses the person of lying to her because of how many times people have used pretty words and pretended to be nice to her to try and earn her trust to use her for something or to try and humiliate her or even kill her when she was younger. She has extreme PTSD toward weapons due to over 30+ attempted assassinations/kidnaps over the years and goes full-on panic mode whenever she sees a gun or a knife or something of that nature, and due to that she probably will never be able to cook because of many recipes calling for use of a knife to cut something even though she actually would like to cook and bake. Valkeria, if she is in a worst possible situation, has resorted to hurting before she is hurt, for instance, during her last year at the orphanage she started to hurt the other kids and even the adults there who were hurting her before they could hurt her, and gradually the abuse stopped due to everyone fearing her. She knows it’s bad but she has deemed it a viable strategy to avoid pain, and because she feels she has no friends and is all alone, she feels that it doesn’t matter who she hurts. Overall Valkeria’s main motto is to “Hurt and kill if necessary for survival, everyone could take a full 180 and decide to betray you at any time, so always be wary and never trust anyone.”

 Trivia:

1. Yes, Valkeria is self aware, kind of. She knows there’s people “outside” in a sense (like Admin Rose; me) and that I’m writing about the timelines and stories of the timelines of my version of the Mystic Messenger universe, but she isn’t aware of anything besides that.

 2. Valkeria has light pink eyes and desaturated dark purple hair with a pink streak.

3. Valkeria’s favorite food is anything with sugar, quite literally. 

4. Valkeria has regressed into a child-like mind state before, mostly when she is tired. But she hates people seeing her like that and tries to stay aware of how she’s acting. 

5. If you couldn’t tell from the last trivia, Valkeria is very self conscious. — submission 

This is really growing into something very interesting. You’ve got a whole story line going and everything. I like that. It shows that you’ve put a lot into what you are doing. The designs are really cute and I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with all of them on your blog! I just. The outfits are really cute! It’s just so freaking cute!!

[mnkiss]

A quick list of animes I watched and don’t want to forget:

Mushishi - pure, haunting beauty, 10/10 recommend especially when you want some clarity and calmness in your life. You’ll cry tho

K - the amount of tears I shed TwT I literally miss the characters. Weird af world and story, but somehow I got attached. There should be K: seven stories somewhere but I can’t find it... Also: this whole we’re a bunch of problematic people who become a family is a trope I’ll never get tired of

Tokyo Ghoul - S1 and S2 feel like one huge story and it’s just the beginning so buckle up... There are 2 OVAs (Jack and Pinto) that help with understanding Re: (S3) and then there is S4 which is apparently only the most important parts of the manga... I understand why so many people think that s4 is ridiculous, but the first 3 seasons are great. The manga is a must for the anime tho, bc the last season is a joke, so if you can, read the manga first. With that said, the censorship is terrible so if you can, watch it without the weird black and white patches that take up half the screen, because the animation, the fights, the colours are all extremely vibrant and alive, just like the characters. What being human means, why the police feel like they are doing god’s work when they kill innocents along with the psychos, what a family is, can we be selfish for others, and many more questions are discussed here, all while somebody gets gutted. S2 was much more like a filler than a normal season, but still, I cried, and the whole anime is awesome so watch it if you can. (If you get upset when humans are able to endure more than supernatural beings then it’s not your show, bc even though humans are supposed to be, you know, humans, they are still able to kill tens of ghouls with a fucking hole inside of them.)

Attack on Titan - got tired of waiting after s2... No mystery is worth more than a year of waiting lol

Black butler - I need to get around and watch the book of atlantis. Great story, Sebastian is everything and more, and the aesthetic is something I’ll never forget. The music fits perfectly, and the foods make me drool. It has the “big picture”, as well as small journeys where you can get to know your favourite characters which I appreciate. S2 was not something I enjoyed, but the book of circus was worth it as well as most ova’s.

Darker than black - THEY MUST CONTINUE IT BRING HEI BACK PLEASE PLEASE I CAN’T I JUST CAN’T - also s2′s opening makes me cry. Dolls and Contractors work together as a team, then alone, then again as a team... it was a wild ride. Awesome character development, great plot and world building. Sadly they cut their story and future at s2 for some reason... If I ever watch it again I watch Gaiden before Gemini tho - a lot less confusion and disappointment this way.

Bungou Stray Dogs - loving it with my whole heart can’t wait to watch it again because there is literally NO character I don’t love. It has pretty boys, crime, mystery, magical abilities and comedy alongside the surprisingly deep issues. The art style is otherworldly, everything is so PRETTY and CAPTURING ugh *-*. It also made me read lots of books again (especially Japanese literature which was new for me) ^^ (Who doesn’t ship Dazai and Chuuya... And Poe is a baby too)

Noragami - cute, very cute, I love it when the main character is powerful af yet has a silly, loving side. Also: you can learn a bit about gods and religion

Assassination Classroom - tears. all of them. tears. It’s not what I expected but still, the little assassins and the teacher’s relationship was perfect.

Another - i watched it for the dolls and the umbrella meme. Liked it? yes. Do I remember anything else tho? Not really

Parasyte - one of the first animes I’ve ever watched. Loved it. ^^ Migi was great, all the issues it brings up were thought provoking, and it has gore.

Hellsing - idk it had too many monologues and ideologies, didn’t finish it

Psycho-Pass - In short: cyberpunk future, systematic oppression, immigrants, killing with permission and other moral or societal issues, plus charismatic characters and gore. The watching order: S1, S2, Sinners of the system, S3, First inspector. Wonderful buildup, dynamic storytelling, great mystery elements, and of course the found family/teamwork will always be a favourite of mine. The writing is extra detailed, every character is 3D, their responses, beliefs and cultures are tied together perfectly, the chemistry between characters is relatable and although everybody seems to live by one goal only, it’s not as dull as one would think. It also has some great book recommendations, literature and philosophers play a big role, which is always a bonus. 10/10. I really hope we will get extra contents and S4 in the future.

Steins Gate - I can’t bring myself to watch the last 2 episodes of S1 lol. It starts slowly but it’s much better paced than I remembered. The anime heavily relies on the characters which are sadly very 2D: the haughty but loving, the cute but tragic, the clever weeb, the loving tsundere... and for some fucking reason every single girl loves the mad scientist who... doesn’t really show love or sometimes not even respect towards the others until the last half of the show, so I don’t particularly care about their fate, but I watch it bc I don’t want to leave it unfinished. Because people are so into it I thought maybe the story will be... flabbergasting, shocking or just a masterwork, but the whole time travelling thingy, all the rules, all the paralel worlds work very conveniently. There were some great twists that I loved, some that I saw coming and some that I didn’t, but the story itself isn’t the best and even the plottwists won’t help that.

Full metal alchemist - i watched many, many episodes. I liked it. But it lost me. Anyways, I looked up the story and it sounds interesting, lots of plot twists, great conspiracy theories etc. The main character was a bit... annoying. My main problem is that they were children cuz I can only get immersed in the adult characters’ stories...

Durarara!! - s1 was great I love gang and mystery stuff, BUT I stopped watching it bc I was only immersed in the adult characters’ stories...

The Ancient Magus' Bride - it’s a gory fairy tale, with two toxic but loveable characters who learn a lot, evolve a lot and become real companions. There is lots of touching, head pats and affection. <3 Seasond 2 is very much needed, I want to see more episodic journey elements like the cat kingdom episodes were, and perhaps cry just a little less. Pro tip: when you watched the first 12 eps you should watch the 3 episode ova and then the next 12 eps ;) Oh, and expect tears mostly from happiness

Devilman Crybaby - I was the crybaby. The ending is beautiful, the art style was great, it literally pulsed through my eyes sometimes. Awesome characters, weird storyline, sad ending.

Death Parade - another anime that made me cry :) Beautiful art style, immersive story, interesting take on the afterlife, moral issues. It had everything I needed,

Juni Taisen - It wasn’t the craziest or most cunning anime of all times, but I cared about the characters and I really wanted to know how it ends, so it was good i guess

Kekkai Sensen - i watched s1 and I didn’t care anymore...

BEASTARS - it was one hell of a ride. Interesting world, great conflict, highschoolers and gore... also I think there was a sudden rise in the numbers of furries while it aired. It’s art style however was too cgi-y, too smooth for me :/

Re: Zero - the main character is a little bitch i hated him but i stayed for the plot. I don’t really like love interests when one party is only loved because they look perfect... i really wish we got more seasons and explanations  s2 is on the horizon, but I doubt I’ll ever watch it

Updated it see in reblog

Also in conclusion, what do i need in an anime? 1) adults 2) superpowers 3) found family 4) a brooding, powerful af main character 5) action and mystery (plus gore) 6) chemistry between characters 7) side characters that matter 8) tissues

Any recs?

[asiryn]

this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience] 

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into. 

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly. 

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that. 

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time. 

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3 

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5 

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

[puppyenergy]

@rickenrolled​ you’re an absolute mad man i love you. here’s all my answers. long ass post beneath the cut

1. Who’s your favourite character from UT?

i love them all but if i had to pick one then chara

2. Who’s your least favourite character from UT?

asgore

3. Your opinion about UT fandon:

very sweet, lots of smart and lovely and creative and gay people. could do without all the transphobes and incest/pedo shippers tho but like, theyre kinda everywhere aren’t they. like flies! smack

4. What’s your favourite quote?

“you never gained LOVE, but you gained love. does that make sense? maybe not.“

5. What’s your favourite soundtrack?

death by glamour

6. Pacifist, neutral or genocide?

pacifist

7. Why did you decide to play UT?

when it came out, my first exposure to it was thru supporting a friend who had recently started a youtube channel and they did a playthru of undertale! i ended up being unable to wait for them to finish it and just went and bought the game myself so i could play it. i was just so invested, i couldn’t wait for them to upload asklghskl

8. Favourite battle?

undyne’s

9. Favourite scene?

GOD I CAN’T CHOOSE JUST ONE SCENE. fuck. you can’t do this to me.

10. Your first letter to Mettaton was:

“legs” probably sldkghsd i don’t remember

11. Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time:

VERY SCARED. I LEGIT THOUGHT MY GAME WAS POSSESSED.

12. Your headcanon about Frisk’s gender:

they’re nonbinary but i specifically headcanon them as agender! i also rlly dig genderfluid frisk as well bc same.

13. Which UT character reminds you of yourself?

mostly frisk but also chara and also mettaton

oh and all the dogs

14. Which UT character reminds you of your best friend?

TEMMIE. we are dog and cat solidarity.

15. Would you smooch a ghost?

i already have!

16. Which UT character would be your best friend? Why?

all of them. i will befriend them all.

17. Do you remember your first killed character? Who was that?

toriel ;_; i reset & redid the entire game for her, i felt so bad

18. Did you do sth in game you regret?

killing toriel lmao

19. Which ending was your first?

pacifist!

20. Your favourite land in UT and why: (Snowdin, Waterfall or Hotland)

snowdin is my favorite... it’s just so home-y. i rlly love snow, it brings a lot of happy memories. the christmas aesthetic does as well. and it’s also where you meet sans & papyrus & all the dogs. it’s just such a happy place.

21. Your favourite place in UT and why: (Undyne’s house for example)

i just rlly love snowdin ok. every area in snowdin. i still remember my little gasp!! when i found out that the snow on frisk’s head is always a different shape every time you go thru that slide-y puzzle.

22. Your headcanon about River person’s gender:

“it doesn’t really matter.”

23. Your headcanon about one of the UT characters:

papyrus is nonbinary!

24. Butterscouch or cinnamon pie?

cinnamon!

25. Your opinion/headcanon about six human souls:

i always connect the deltarune characters to the six human souls for some reason. kris is the cyan soul, susie is the purple soul, ralsei is the green soul, lancer is the blue soul, noelle is the yellow soul, and then im not sure who would be the orange soul... ofc only one of them is actually human but that’s always an association i made asdlghsd

26. With who would you go on a date?

none of them tbh sdkglhskdlgha i would go on hangouts with them tho!

27. Marry, fuck, kiss and kill:

marry: napstablook fuck: mettaton kiss: all of them getting kisses from me!!! mwah kill: none :(

28. Do you wanna have a bad time?

no!! i wanna have a fun time. a sillay ol’ time.

29. Your favourite UT au:

there’s this one unfinished comic someone made a while ago i don’t even remember what it was called but it was about two charas or smth??? idek if that counts as an au but tbh that comic is the origin of my love for feral chara

30. Your least favourite UT au:

all of the ones where anyone is misgendered or there’s incest/pedo/abuse in it it just automatically makes it a bad au.

31. Would you want to fall into underground?

i mean, yeah. where’s the hole. i’m on my way.

32. Describe or draw your undersona:

the puppy is specific to dfta

my other undersona is dragon kid. he’s a human & monster fusion with a rough past. he’s also adopted. the cat is his sibling.

33. One reason why you love UT:

toby said Hello LGBT Community

34. One reasom why you hate UT:

frisk’s design is,, u kno

35. If you could choose one type of food from UT, what would it be?

dog salads for days!

36. Your favourite amalgamate:

snowdrake’s mother & endogeny

37. Your headcanon about Gaster: who do you think Gaster is to Sans and Papyrus? (Father, brother, uncle etc)

i like to headcanon him as their dad

38. Your opinion about bad puns:

they’re good, ok.

39. Do you draw fanarts from UT? If yes, then what do you like the most to draw?

yes i do asklghsdkgl i could probably draw chara/frisk/asriel forever and be ok with it

40. Which of human souls fits you the most?

red, baby

41. What would be the first thing you would to show to Sans, Papyrus or the rest of characters in human world? Why?

the stars!!! they’ve been wishing on rocks for too long. time to see the real thing.

42. Which song reminds you of UT or one of the UT characters? Why?

skglhslkhg i make playlists just for this tbh. i have a playlist for mettaton, chara, frisk, asriel, undertale in general, and then one for both chara & frisk. too many songs to talk about rn so here’s the most recent one i added to chara’s playlist:

https://soundcloud.com/serious-url/last-night-on-earth-2

my favorite lyric is “we are horrible but not bad”

43. Your opinion on underloid:

i. i’m not sure what that is askdlghsdk

OH I JUST LOOKED IT UP ITS UNDERTALE VOCALOID??? i’ve never listened to it before but tbh that’s real cool

44. Do you forgive Asgore for what he’s done?

no lol

45. Did you pay for Tem’s college?

I DIDNT, IM SORRY TEM... i just dont have the patience to sell all that residue

46. Have you seen any youtube letsplay of UT?

i swear i’ve seen them all now. i watch them when i need some free serotonin. u_u

47. Do you listen to any fanmade songs? If so, then which are your favourite?

i don’t rlly listen to any but i have a few saved! i rlly love the fucking checker dance & death by glamour mashup

48. What are your favourite theories?

narra!chara if you can even CALL that a theory man it’s literally canon

i also rlly like the theory that ut sans is actually from deltarune, and also maybe a darkner.

49. Who is your favourite enemy? (Not including boss monsters)

LESSER DOG

50. Do you have any headcanons about Chara’s past? (Why they hate humanity, why did they fell to the underground etc)

i think they had some pretty shitty ppl in their life until they met the dreemurrs, probably.

51. Who is your favourite dog?

DONT DO THIS TO ME,

52. What was your reaction to true lab?

fear and a lot of emotion

53. Your fabourite voice acting:

myself sakldhgklsh

54. At the end of pacifist run did you stay with your friends or did you come back to your family?

i always send frisk to stay with toriel bc as their player guardian i would not feel comfortable with myself if i just left a child stranded on their own. it was the same in oneshot. if i’m ur temporary game dad then i’m leaving u in a safe place before the game ends ok.

55. Who is older - Sans or Papyrus?

sans

56. Your OTP(s):

OK LISTEN. GOATBUN,,

also ALPHYNE

57. Your NOTP(s):

any of the incest/pedo ones. especially with fr4ns & ch4sriel i’m gonna get real stabby.

58. Your BROTP(s):

chara/frisk haa

59. Your favourite puzzle:

i like the shooty spaceship ones!

60. Which battle was the hardest for you?

fingers in his ass.... fingers in his ass.... asgore he likes b

61. Did you still hate Flowey after you discovered his true indentity?

i never hated flowey, ok. and also no.

62. The saddest moment:

“the next day.”

“the next day.”

“...”

“the human died.”

63. Which ending is your favourite?

true pacifist, pls

64. How old do you think Frisk is?

9, maybe? i always change my mind on this asdlghsdk. they’re just a baby. age is baby.

65. Any post pacifist run headcanons?

both chara & asriel get revived. always.

66. Your favourite NPC:

the trans woman lionness npc who mettaton gives his dress to

67. Humans or monsters?

both!

68. The funniest situation:

my brain is failing me but i fucking love the idea that frisk is just walking away from undyne during her battle sequence and she’s just CLANK CLANK CLANK in her armor stomping after but ugh has to stop and wait while frisk gets a phonecall and UGH has to check on sans who fell asleep at his post.

AND UNDYNE’S HANGOUT

UGH JUST UNDYNE IN GENERAL I LOVE HER

69. Skeletonfucker, robotfucker, goatfucker or kinkshaming?

listen i KNOW i said i’d fuck mettaton but i’m NOT a robotfucker.

70. When playing for the first time how many candies did you take?

one! i wanted to be a good boy.

but then i just went ham,

71. Did you kill or spare Flowey at the end of the game?

spare and i got emotional with how he reacted

72. If you had to be one of the main characters, which would you choose?

73. If you had to kill one of the main characters which would you choose?

i wouldn’t kill any of them!! i love them all. i refuse.

74. Which character(s) would you like to cosplay?

HMM. i could probably pull off frisk the best.

75. Your favourite Burgerpants’ quote?

[scornedlove]

Chapter Fifteen

ROBYN

It’s official. I made my own name in fashion. We were at London Fashion Week again, but this time I wasn’t just watching. I was working alongside some of the fashion greats. The first week of January Adam Selman reached out to me personally. Apparently, the networking I did at the last fashion show paid off. He liked many of my ideas and wanted to collab on the upcoming fashion show, which meant we had about six weeks. He started working on this collection in June but felt it needed something more, so I was included in all the major decisions. It was such an amazing experience, from deciding on how things sit on the models to deciding how the pieces were cut. All the hard work paid off because the show was a success and he wanted me to join him on the autumn and winter collection as well.

“This is going to open so many doors for me” l smiled, thinking out loud. Mel, Frankie, Paige, and I had just made it back to our hotel, shitfaced from celebrating.

“Yeah, you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve!” Frankie agreed. “I knew you would take off any day now. Nobody knows how hard you work like I do. You earned this.”

“I wanna go to Bim and celebrate with my people. I might as well take all ya’ll with me, ya’ll put in just as much work as I do. We all could use a vacation, plus my birthday is coming up” I grinned, excited just thinking about it.

“That’s what I’m talking about! I need to bathe in some island sun” Paige nodded her approval. “The only person who probably wouldn’t come is Meagan, only God knows how pissed she is that she didn’t get to come to fashion week last time and this time.”

“Well, if you don’t do your job right at home, why would you get the privilege of traveling?” I shrugged, feeling no sympathy. It’s a wonder I haven’t let her go yet. She was constantly coming in late, leaving early, and leaving tasks unfinished. I must admit, our customers enjoy her. She’s really good when it comes to customer service, but slacks in everything else.

“Yeah, but you know she’s been feeling some type of way since she saw Dre come in with your purse that day. That would be the real reason she doesn’t go to Barbados.” Frankie chimed in. “That’s my girl and all, but I’m not missing out on Barbados for anybody”

“What do you mean? Megan and Dre had a thing? Wait, you and Dre are hookin up?” Mel asked curiously. She had been in her bubble with J, so I hadn’t even told her about what happened between Dre and I on New Year’s Eve.

“You slut! I thought you said ya’ll vowed not to cross the line?” she asked mimicking my voice, after I gave her the quick, short version of what went down.

“Shit happens” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I hope you know you can’t be playing with this man’s emotions, especially after what Teyana put him through.”

“It’s just sex. It’s not like this is serious” I explained.

“You can only say that if it happened once, but come to think of it. I’ve seen much less of you lately, that means you’re getting consistent dick” she snickered, making Frankie and Paige burst out in laughter.

“No, I’ve been working bitch” I corrected her while giving her the finger.

“But seriously, be careful. You know I worry about you”

“Well don’t. I feel better than I have in a very long time" I stressed hoping to convince her. I was telling the truth; things were really starting to look up for me. I was content with being single and on top of that, my career was starting to take off, so I couldn’t be happier.

I even went out of my way to make sure I enjoyed Valentine’s Day, even though I spent it alone. I went and saw the movie Silver Linings, bought myself a beautiful bouquet, and had an online shopping spree while eating pizza and cheesecake. It was the perfect day and now I couldn’t wait to get home to my new pair of red bottoms and two new Burberry purses.

“How are you today John” I asked my driver, in a cheerful tone, as he grabbed my luggage and tossed it in the trunk. Dre hooked me up with the car service he’s been using for a couple of years and so far, I was extremely satisfied. It’s nice being chauffeured around and my driver was cool to talk to.

“I’m good, now that my bajan thing is back” he winked, opening the back door for me.

“Happy Birthday” Dre sang as soon as I got in. He had balloons and a massive bouquet of roses.

“What are you doing here?!” I yelled, completely surprised.

“I wanted to be the first to welcome you back. How was your trip?” he asked, pouring champagne into a flute and offering it to me.

“It was fuckin awesome!” I grinned, gladly taking it and gulping down half of it immediately. “I’m ready to leave again so I can celebrate that and my birthday”

“What are we doing for your birthday?” He asked curiously.

“Well, I didn’t have anything planned for today, but I’m taking my crew to Bim for a three-day weekend. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Cool, so that means I can steal you away today” he smiled.

“Well I have so much to do in so little time. I have to pick up Ollie and Pepe, stop by the shop for a few things, and so much other stuff” I replied. I didn’t expect him to even want to spend my birthday with me, it would’ve been nice to have a heads up.

“How about lunch before you get started on all that?” he suggested.

“I’m sorry Dre, but I don’t have time to wait a half hour for food and take another half hour to eat it.”

"Well, how about this: I’ll let you take care of everything you got going on, and you can come to my house later. I’ll have a nice birthday dinner ready and we can have a little night cap. I won't keep you out too late” he promised.

“Deal” I replied, realizing he just wasn’t taking no for an answer.

He rode with me for most of my errands and kept my glass full the entire time. By the time I made it to work, I was pretty tipsy so when Jenn started singing happy birthday at the top of her lungs, I started to twerk to the imaginary beat.

“What are you even shaking?” Meagan asked with a frown. “You literally have no ass”

“Dats cool tho, cause what I lack in da back, I pack in da cat” I shrugged with a wink and she rolled her eyes.

“Any who. Not that it compares to that big ass bouquet you have in your hand, but someone literally had a single rose delivered to you today. It’s on your desk” she stated.

“Oh yeah, Chris dropped something off for you last week, it’s in your office too” Jenn added nonchalantly and my heart almost stopped from hearing his name.

“Wow” I whispered in awe when I saw the canvas that brightened up my office. I immediately recognized the painting from last year’s Valentine’s Day and my heart skipped a beat. I was confused though. Was this his way of getting rid of what was left of me, or was this his way of reaching out to me?

When I removed the canvas from my desk, I found the rose and a note in Chris’s familiar handwriting and my questions were answered. He wanted to talk so he’d left his number.

“Hello” he answered on the second ring.

“Hi Chris” I paused, feeling lost for words. “It’s Robyn. I just got the gifts…This painting…. it’s beautiful. Thanks”

“You’re welcome. I honestly didn’t think you would call, and happy birthday by the way.”

“Thanks”

“I don’t know what you have going on, but I would love to take you to dinner tonight… For old times’ sake”

“Okay, what did you have in mind?” I replied, without missing a beat.

“Your favorite, Gorgio Baldi of course.” He quickly replied.

“I would love that. I’m finishing up a few things at the office, I can meet you there at 6”

“That's perfect”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you soon” I smiled through the phone. I felt mixed emotions as butterflies tickled my stomach. I’ve been wishing I could just have a single moment alone with him and I was finally getting that chance. I hated to leave Dre hanging so I made a mental note to cancel with him before I left the office.

I worked quickly and was done with everything that was urgent in a couple of hours. I was in the middle of packing my laptop when Jenn rushed into my office.

“Ooh, I'm glad I caught you. There’s a call for you on line one. It’s Jacques, he says it’s urgent.” she announced.

“Hello” I picked up the phone, wondering what he could possibly want.

“Hi Robyn, it’s about Rayven”

“What about her?” I asked, partially irritated. She was always up to something.

“She’s in the hospital. You need to come and see her” he ordered.

“Is she okay? What happened?” I asked, now frightened.

“She’s in the ICU at Kaiser, I don’t know all the details, just get here as soon as you can” he insisted with urgency before hanging up.

An hour later, I was looking at my younger cousin attached to all sorts of machines and couldn’t help but feel guilty. Apparently, she was high on cocaine and had a stroke. She’s been in a coma for 2 days already, and things still aren’t looking all that great for her.

I know her bad choices aren’t my fault, but maybe if I would’ve at least taken her calls she wouldn’t be here. She went from trying to call me several times a day to calling a few times a week, but she eventually stopped trying.

“What the fuck am I gonna tell her mom?” I sighed as my mind raced. I’m the only family she has here and I’m supposed to be looking out for her. Yeah, she’s done some fucked up things in the past, but I wouldn’t wish death on her.

After seeing her like that, I had to wait in the lobby. I felt responsible and every time that monitor beeped, I felt my anxiety raising.  On top of all that, I couldn’t stand to be here. All I could think about was the last time I was in the hospital. I knew my anxiety would be off the charts so I took a Xanax before coming in, but it wasn’t helping.

“I know ya’ll aren’t in the best place right now-” Jacques began as soon as he saw me.

“Never mind that dumb shit, what happened to my cousin?” I asked, angrily. “Where the fuck is Jay?”

“He had business to take care of, that’s why I’m here” he stated, trying to calm me down. “I’m sorry this happened to her, but she’s really been spiraling downhill since you guys fell out. She’s been out of control, partying like there’s no tomorrow, and not taking care of herself. It’s like she didn’t care if anything happened to her.”

“Well I guess her boyfriend doesn’t care either, considering he’s not by her side” I fumed.

“They aren’t together anymore. I’m not all in their business, so I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s been running with a new crowd, and none of those muthafuckas are here, but they’re part of the reason she is. Look, we can point fingers all day but I’m just here to help. I think it might be a good idea to get her mom down here, there’s no telling what may happen” he admitted.

“Are you okay? You're shaking.” he asked when I didn’t respond.

“What if she died on my birthday?” I blurted as my eyes finally began to water. “That would be some fucked up shit”

“You can’t think like that. You gotta pull yourself together so you can be strong for her” he continued. "It ain't always about you. Everyone has been through some shit. You just gotta suck that shit up, forgive, and move on.

“Okay” I sighed realizing he was right. I sat down for a minute, after taking another Xanax, and finally I could feel my heart rate slowing. I wasn’t prepared for the call I was about to make, but I dialed my Aunt Jenna’s number and prayed to God she could find a way to forgive me.

The next couple of days were like torture. I put everything I had going on, on hold to be there for Rayven. After calling Aunt Jenna, she was down here on the next fight. She arrived the next day and that’s when hell began. She went from sympathy to pure hatred when she found out why Rayven was in a coma.  She kept saying that she shouldn’t have left home, and how she was worshiping the devil out here. Her energy was all bad and after sitting at this hospital for three days hearing her speak ill of my little cousin, I felt like it was unnecessary for her to be here if she hated her own daughter so much.

“Auntie” I called out, interrupting her phone call. I could hear her saying to someone she was in the States because her daughter was a dumpsy and overdosed, and that must’ve been the last straw.

“Hold up” she spoke to whoever was on the phone and pulled it away from her face. “Wuh you want?” she asked, obviously irritated that I interrupted her conversation. No wonder Rayven was so ready to get away from her, she had evil going through her veins. She wasn’t like that when we were growing up, so this was all new to me.

“I don’t mind staying here with Ray. I can get you a room, so you can take a shower and get some rest. I’ll have my driver come get you if anything changes, that way you can be here when she wakes up” I offered in the kindest tone I could. I would hate to disrespect my Aunt, but if I continued to hear the way she spoke about Rayven, things could get ugly fast. Lucky for everyone, she accepted my offer.  

Another day came and went with no changes. I was so exhausted and depressed just sitting around and waiting, so when Mel offered to keep watch for a few hours, I was more than grateful.

I went home, showered, and had a quick meal. By the time I made it back to the hospital, Rayven had woken up.

“Rob-?” Rayven’s raspy voice called out when I walked in.

“Thank God! You’re up?! “I smiled, feeling relief rush over me.

“I’m so sorry” she choked out as tears started to fall.

“Shhh. Try not to talk” I replied softly. “You’re alive and that’s all that matters right now.”

“I tried to call you, but your phone is going to voicemail. She just woke up about ten minutes ago. They drew some blood and will be back to get her for an MRI any minute.” Mel stated, checking her watch. On cue, two nurses came in and took her away.

“Thank you for sitting with her. I know how you feel about her, so that really meant a lot” I stated, giving Mel a hug.

“Girl, family is family. I was upset about her holding her lie back, it wasn’t any deeper than that” she shrugged. “But I do have to go, charge your phone so I can check on ya’ll later”

I stayed with Rayven the rest of the day, but I really missed my bed. I decided to leave for the night, and promised her I would be back tomorrow morning. I was so tired that I passed out in the backseat and woke up to John shaking my shoulder. “Ms. Robyn, we’ve arrived” he repeated over and over until I realized where we were.

“This ain’t where I live” I snapped looking around trying to figure out where the hell I was, then I spotted Dre quickly approaching us.

“Don’t curse him babe. Take it out on me.  I talked to Mel earlier and she told me you were on the way home. I called and called but you didn’t pick up. John told me you were passed out in the back, so I told him to bring you here” he explained, pissing me off even further.  

“I’ve been at the hospital for a week. I just want to sleep in my own bed” I sighed, slapping my forehead.

“I got you girl. My bed is just as comfortable, if not I will take you home myself” he promised. I was irritated but I rolled my eyes and got out the car anyway. When I got inside, I changed into one of his t-shirts, used the bathroom, and went straight to bed.

When I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and my stomach growling, I couldn’t help but let my nose lead the way.

“Good morning sleepy head” Dre smiled as he pulled the bacon out of the oven.

“Wow” I grinned, after seeing the feast he’d created. There were waffles, sausage, bacon, and scrambled eggs.

“Sit down” he ordered, pulling a chair out for me. “I miss you, so I’m stealing one hour from you. I didn’t get to treat you on your birthday, so just relax and let me enjoy you”

"How am I supposed to do that when my cousin is alone in the hospital?"

"I know you're used to taking care of everyone else, but you can't take care of anyone if you're not taking care of yourself. Let me take care of you Anna" he pleaded.

“Alright, but you can’t keep hijacking my car. Next time you’re gonna regret it” I shook my finger at him.

“Okay, I won’t kidnap you again. You just gotta figure out a healthy balance between your job and your personal life” he stated, leaving it at that.

After eating, he gave me a full body massage, that led to some great sex. I had a lot of shit to do since I missed a week of work, but it was sweet that he missed me enough to plan all of this. I've never had anyone damn near kidnap me just to make sure I was good. So instead of fighting it, I let him take care of me and I was glad that I did.