#2. my car repair has gone from a half-day thing to a 2 full day thing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

watchyourbluesturngolden · 4 years ago

Text

cats and babies

This is the first piece I’ve ever written so if anyone sees this be nice pls and thank u

There could be typos/ weird formatting, this was typed entirely on my phone

I also feel the need to say all of my medical knowledge is from Grey’s anatomy and googling things I saw on grey’s anatomy so this is probably not that accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Word count: 6,160

Warnings: Car accidents, blood, angst (but with a v happy ending ofc bc sad endings are Not For Me), hospitals/medical stuff, again a very happy ending, I would like to emphasize the happy ending so no one gets scared away from reading this, did I mention there’s a happy ending?

"So, what'd'ya say? Chinese?"

They were deciding where to go for dinner after a long day of touring their favorite art museums. Harry and Y/N had been dating about two years now, and (cheesy as it sounds) they loved each other more and more every day.

"Chinese sounds great," Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry. The golden sun reflected off his curls, making him look absolutely angelic.

He smiled, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into full blown laughter. She was confused. "What is it?" What's so hilariou- eyes on the road!!"

"Sorry, sorry," he laughed. "Nothing, just- do you-" he breathed slowly, calming down a bit. "Do you remember the first time we had Chinese food? She blushed, laughing with him at the memory.

Their first date had been... disastrous, to say the least. They had both been nervous, but both trying to act confident. They had decided on a nice, fancy, black tie restaurant, and Y/N was excited. When he picked her up in a limousine, she was hardly unable to contain herself.

However, their plan fell apart almost from the beginning. When they got to the place, a big red sign read "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS"

"Ooook... that's... weird," Y/N had grimaced. "What should we do now?"

"Uh... we could... try the one a few blocks over? Yeah, that's a good place too, I know the owner. He always has a table for me. That'll work!"

Y/N hasn't quite cared about the wrench thrown into their plans. She really liked Harry so far, and she though he liked her too. So she chirped "Sure! Sounds great."

She hadn't noticed how embarrassed he looked when he opened the car door for her. He couldn't believe his luck! He was finally on a date with a girl he really liked, really wanted to impress, and the best restaurant in town closed with no notice? How could this happen? But he shook it off, climbing in after her and alerting the driver of their change of plans.

When they got to the next place, Harry immediately got worried. It looked very crowded, and while the owner usually held a table for Harry, it didn't seem so tonight.

He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Luke! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, do you by any chance have a table-" He paused, and then his face fell. His voice kept its happy tone, though. "No, no problem at all, I understand. Yeah, for sure, a different night. Thank you!" He hung up, looking more than a little dejected.

Y/N put a hand on his arm. "It's ok, I promise. I swear I didn't just agree to go out with you for the fancy food. We can go anywhere, 'Im really not upset!"

"Agh, thank you. You're very sweet. But really, you deserve a fancy place. Only it seems everyone in the world is determined to make sure we don't get to do that," He huffed. "Maybe..." And he pulled out his phone again. He glanced at her curious face. "How do you feel about Chinese?" He asked sheepishly.

Y/N beamed. "I love it," and there was no trace of insincerity on her face.

"Right then, Chinese it is!" he found the closest place on his phone, telling the driver the address.

After a few minutes of eating, Y/N looked around the table for a fork. She could handle big foods, like the chicken, with the chopsticks, but definitely not the rice.

Harry asked what she needed. She was a bit embarrassed to tell him she wasn't good enough with chopsticks to eat her rice, but he was kind about it. He helped show her how to use them without making too big of a mess. Still, she dropped half her plate on a napkin in her lap.

At the end of their meal, Y/N burst out laughing when she picked up her napkin. Harry looked at her, confused, until she placed what was basically a full serving of rice on the table. He was also unable to contain his laughter, to which Y/N responded by throwing a few grains of rice at him.

He threw a balled up napkin at her, and she blew a straw wrapper in his face. This escalated until she splashed what was left of her water glass on him. There was stunned silence for a moment, and Y/N thought she went too far. Then he looked at her and burst into laughter. She sighed in relief, laughing with him. "I'm sorry, that was too much," but she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the sight of the water dripping down his face.

"A little water never hurt anyone," he said, his eyes twinkling as he splashed her with his own water.

Y/N was pulled from the happy memory of their first date when the car skidded on the ice.

"Careful... if I'd known it was this slippery we'd have found a closer place," she said nervously.

"Nah, we've talked about this, the only good place is the one two towns over. I understand you love Minnesota and all but it is NOT the best place to find good Chinese food," he smirked.

"I will not have this Minnesota slander, not in this house. Maybe you're the issue, with your sophisticated taste and all," Y/N said, laughing at his disgruntled look. "Sophisticated? I took you for Chinese food on our first date. Nothing about that screams "sophisticated" to me."

"Yeah, but we were dressed VERY fancy. That counts," Y/N laughed.

"Oh really? that's what makes me sophisticated? alright then, you're right, I'm, extremely-"

The car slid just a little too far for Y/N's liking.

"Harry, are you sure it's safe to be driving on this? I think it's getting worse, and- look, it's starting to rain." She checked the weather on her phone. "Yeah, it's at that weird temperature where it's halfway freezing. The road will be worse on the way back."

"I think we're ok," He reassured her. "The car has 4 wheel drive, and I'll go slow. I think the biggest danger is us not getting our Chinese food," he smiled at her. "Uh, no," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "I'd say the biggest danger is crashing and dying in a firey car wreck."

"Always so negative, Y/N," Harry laughed. "We're perfectly fine-" he spoke too soon, because right then the car slid again. A lot, this time. They almost slid right through a stop sign.

Y/N clutched the armrest.

"We're almost there, you better not kill me before I get my Chinese food, Styles. I finally know how to eat rice with chopsticks without..." She stopped halfway through her sentence because she was laughing so hard. "Without... dropping all of it on my lap."

They dissolved into giggles, especially when Harry said, "got any more water to throw at me?"

The car slid once more, and Y/N felt her pocket nervously. She had bought a ring for Harry. It was nothing too special, but it was the one year anniversary of the first time they had gone to an art museum together. She wanted to commemorate that with something special, so she had gone to the museum gift shop and found the perfect ring. It had a silver band, a little thinner than the rest of his, and a labradorite stone set into it. She thought it would complement his other jewelry nicely.

She kept her hand on the little box in her pocket, careful not to make Harry suspicious.

He wasn't looking at her, though; he was completely focused on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Y/N felt a little more nervous seeing this. Harry was an excellent driver, and he usually had one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. He only gripped the wheel this tightly when he felt unsafe driving.

Y/N looked out at the darkening sky. She was not a fan of storms, especially ones that make the roads icy. Like a true Minnesotan, she knew that under the right circumstances, a bit of rain could make it nearly impossible to drive.

A car sped past them, almost veering into their lane when it went over a particularly icy patch.

"Harry, really, I don't know if we should keep going," Y/N said nervously.

"I know, but I'm not sure what we should do. I think it's safer to just keep going and hope the rain stops. We're about 10 minutes away, but if we turn around it's almost a 2 hour drive."

"Yeah... you're right. It's better to just keep going. Just... go slow," Y/N said, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Stop doing that," Harry chided in a singsong voice.

"How can you even tell? you weren't even looking at me," Y/N laughed.

"I know how you are when you're nervous, Y/N. Biting your cheek won't do anything but hurt."

Y/N smiled. She had never had someone care this much about her. Someone who knew her this well, almost better than she knew herself. She was so hopelessly in love...

She was so busy thinking about what she would say when she gave him the ring that she didn't hear the horn blaring. She looked up just in time to see the truck driving straight down the middle of the road towards them.

She could tell instantly the driver of the truck couldn't do anything. He was sliding on the ice like they had before. Harry jerked the wheel to the right, moving the car out of the way.

It wasn't enough.

Y/N heard a horribly loud crashing noise, and then there was nothing.

Y/N shot straight up out of the bed she was in, gasping. Someone put their hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her and get her to lay back down. She pushed the hands away as her vision came into focus. She was in a room filled with people and noise and 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.

She panicked for a minute before she realized where she was. Clearly an Emergency Room. There were 4 doctors and nurses around her, checking her eyes, ears, reflexes, pulse, breathing. She threw her arms out to try and get some space. One of the nurses caught her hand, holding it in both of hers.

"Y/N, you're alright. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you have any pain? Whe-"

"Harry! Where's Harry?? I need to see him, I have to, I have to go-" She stuttered as she pushed the doctors away from her, trying to get up again.

The same nurse held her back.

"Y/N, we need to make sure you're ok before you can get up. If you let us help, you'll be able to see Harry sooner. Can you lay back? Do you have any pain?"

"No, no I'm fine, I'm ok! I need to see Harry, I need to know if he's ok! Please!" Y/N looked frantically around at the doctors, hoping one of them knew something.

The doctor who appeared to be in charge ordered, "Someone go get an update on the guy they brought in with her. See how he's doing."

"Thank you, thank you so much," Y/N breathed, finally laying back.

"There we go. Do you have any pain Y/N?" The nurse asked again.

"No, I'm totally fine. I'm- " Y/N brushed her hair out of her face. When are brought her arm down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. "I'm bleeding!" She cried, panicking.

"It's ok, it's not too bad," one of the doctors said, examining her head. "It looks like it'll need maybe 5 or 6 stitches. We can fix that up right away."

Y/N closed her eyes. How had this happened? Harry moved the wheel, she knew he did. How had they crashed this badly?

The doctor who had been sent to check on Harry came back into the room. Y/N snapped her eyes open, looking at her expectantly.

"He is stable. That's the important thing right now. However, he's been pretty badly injured. He broke his femur and clavicle. He has a small brain bleed, and he is covered in cuts from the glass. He's also pretty bruised from the airbag and seatbelt. He is intubated, because he was having some trouble breathing. He might need surgery to repair the brain bleed, but right now they're waiting and hoping it will get better on it's own."

Y/N exhaled. "But... he's ok? I mean... he's alive?"

The doctor smiled. "Yes. He's doing ok."

Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. She noticed she was crying but she didn't do anything to wipe her tears away.

"Ok, Y/N," said the doctor stitching up her face. "I'm finished here. You need to stay here for a little while longer so we can monitor you. There is an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated. If you need anything, call for a nurse. Also, and this is important, don't get out of this bed without someone helping you. You've been through a lot today, but the adrenaline is wearing off, which might make you feel shaky. Do you need anything right now?"

"No, I'm... I'm fine. Thank you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes.

After he left her bed, she felt her pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the ring still there. Then she mentally kicked herself for being worried about a silly ring when Harry was... no. She wouldn't let herself think that. Harry was 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. They were both alive, and they were both ok.

About an hour later, a nurse came in. After confirming that she felt totally fine, Y/N anxiously asked when she could see Harry.

"I'm sorry, the ICU is family only," The nurse said. She really did look sorry, but this did nothing to make Y/N feel better.

"I- I'm his wife!" Y/N said quickly, not even thinking. She most definitely was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 his wife. She wasn't even his fiancee. She slipped the ring from her pocket onto her finger, then held up her hand to the nurse.

The nurse pretended not to notice the fact that the ring hadn't been there before, and that the ring was easily a size too big. "Oh! Then of course you can see him," She said, helping Y/N off the bed slowly. "I'll take you to his room."

"Thank you so much," Y/N said, taking her first few steps slowly.

"Careful- you're still attached to this IV pole," The nurse said, adjusting the tubing so it wasn't in her way. "You can hold onto it for support- yes, just like that."

Y/N got more nervous with every step towards Harry's room. What would he look like? Would he be in pain? Would he know who she was? Would he... be mad at her?

When she walked into his room, she almost started crying all over again. He looked, well, awful. He was covered in cuts and bruises. He had several tubes and wires connected to him, as well as a large tube taped in his mouth. He had a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm.

Y/N looked at the nurse who was taking his vitals.

"How is he?" She asked in a small voice.

"He's ok for now. He is stable, which is very good. He's unconscious, but we hope to see him wake up soon. You can sit with him, hold his hand, talk to him. If you need anything, just press the call button."

She left, leaving Y/N and Harry alone. This time, she really did start crying. This was awful, and it was all her fault. She was the one who wanted to go for Chinese food. She was the one who picked today, the first wintery stormy day of the year to go for a long drive. And now..

"Harry... Harry I'm so sorry," Y/N said, sniffling. She held onto his hand, the one that wasn't attached to a broken collarbone. "This is all my fault, and now you're... and I got off with nothing but a cut on my forehead, and it's not fair and I'm so sorry," She let out a sob.

She continued on like this, crying and talking and crying some more, for a few hours, before she fell asleep in the chair next to him. She woke up around 9 the next morning with a stiff next and puffy eyes. She looked at his face, still covered in bruises, and kissed his hand. The nurse came in to check on him and told Y/N to go get some breakfast, reminding her that she couldn't care for Harry if she didn't care for herself. Y/N reluctantly agreed, going as fast as she could. The nurse had disconnected her IV sometime in the night, and she could move much faster without it.

She got back to the room with her bagel and resumed her position in the chair right next to Harry. She talked to him as if he was awake, imagining she heard his beautiful voice responding to her.

She had managed to keep the crying to a minimum today. She kept telling herself that if- no, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 Harry woke up, she didn't want to look like a monster with red eyes.

Her phone had been found by some paramedics, so she found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone online and began to read to him. It was a little weird, but Harry loved these books, especially when he was sick.

Y/N was used to just imagining she heard his voice with her in the room, but suddenly she heard something that wasn't her. She gasped.

"He's choking!! Nurse!!" She yelled for help, frantically pushing the call button. "Help!"

Several nurses rushed in. One ushered Y/N back and out of the room, telling her to give them space to work.

"What's- What's happening? What are they doing??" Y/N tried to go back in, but the nurse held her shoulders.

"He's trying to breathe over the tube, Y/N. That's a very good sign. It means he's breathing on his own," The nurse said, trying to keep Y/N calm.

"Does- does that mean he's waking up?" Y/N asked, not wanting to get her hopes up.

"Not for sure, but it's a very good sign."

After a few minutes, the nurses came out of Harry's room, looking excited. "Y/N, he's awake! He's very groggy and can't speak yet, but he is definitely awake. You can go in and sit with him again if you'd like. We gave him some more medicine for the pain, so you have about 15 minutes to talk before he starts going a little..." She made a swirling motion next to her head.

Y/N didn't care if he was high on morphine. She just cared that he was alive and awake and didn't... hate her.

Harry was laying in the bed, looking at her with great concern in his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Y/N rushed over to take his hand.

"It's ok, they said you might not be able to talk for a little while yet. It's ok, I'm here, it's ok," Y/N said, smoothing his hair.

Harry cleared his throat, coughing. He gestured toward the water cup on his side table.

"Oh, of course." Y/N picked up the pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it in his good hand.

He raised the straw shakily to his lips as �� Y/N watched carefully to make sure he didn't spill. She gently lifted the cup out of his hands when he held it up to her.

His small smile was enough to make Y/N cry all over again.

"Oh, Harry," She cried, holding her head in her hands. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry this happened, I did this to you- you almost died!"

"W-what?"

Y/N whipped her head up. "You can talk?" She said, overjoyed.

Harry coughed and spoke again. "Of course I can talk."

His voice was rough and it sounded like it hurt everytime he spoke, but it was the most beautiful thing Y/N had ever heard.

"What are you talking about, it's all your fault?" He rasped, looking utterly confused. "What even happened?"

With tears leaking from her eyes, Y/N explained all she knew, which still wasn't much. Harry remembered everything as she told him, both their eyes watering as her voice shook.

"Why... why're you crying? Does your forehead hurt? I can call the nurse..." He reached for the call button.

"No, no, I'm ok," She took his hand in hers. "I'm just so sorry, because it honestly is my fault, I'm the one who wanted Chinese food and picked 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 of all days to drive 2 hours away and-"

He cut her off by raising his finger to her lips.

"It's not your fault... it's mine. I'm the one who convinced you the only good Chinese food is so far away and I'm the one who was driving. I couldn't keep you safe..."

Harry had never looked so sad.

"No!" Y/N exclaimed. "Do you not see me right now? I'm absolutely fine, you did keep me safe. You swerved out of the way... wait a minute," She paused, realization hitting her. "You didn't think we could avoid the truck at all, did you? You knew it would hit us either way, but you made sure it would hit as far from me as possible."

Harry looked down. "I figured you're more important than me, I had to do what I could."

"Harry Styles!" Y/N whisper-yelled. "If you weren't so 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 I would 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 you right now! How could you do that? How could you put yourself in 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 like that?"

"Oh, that's actually why I got so injured, because I knew you'd try to hit me for this," He smiled charmingly at Y/N. She just scowled.

"Did you really expect me to just say, "oh well, guess she's a goner! bye Y/N! nice knowin' ya!" No, of course not. Of course I'd put myself in danger for you. Always."

Y/N's lip trembled. "Why do you have to be so romantic after you do such stupid things? it makes it really hard to stay mad at you," She said, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah, that was the goal there," He laughed.

Then he caught sight of the ring on her finger.

"That's pretty, when did you get that?" He mock gasped. "Did you get engaged while I was in a coma?"

“No," Y/N laughed. "It's funny actually. I bought it from the museum gift shop. I wanted to give it to you as a present, for the anniversary of the first time we went there together. I was going to give it to you over Chinese food, and it was going to be 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘨𝘪𝘤 and 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭."

Harry smiled. "That's lovely of you, darling. Why... why's it on your finger though?"

"Oh! right." Y/N sheepishly pulled the ring off her finger. "They wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family, so I threw it on and said we were married," She said, blushing furiously. "Sorry about that."

Harry smiled. "Why are you sorry?"

"Um... we're 𝘯𝘰𝘵 married... so... I don't know, I just thought you might think it's weird, or, something..." Y/N finished lamely. She held the ring out to him.

"Happy anniversary."

"Why don't you keep it?"

"Right, of course, you don't need a reminder of this day," Y/N slipped the ring back into her pocket, on the verge of tears because she messed up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

"No, that's not... I meant, why don't you keep it... on your finger?"

She pulled the ring out of her pocket again, looking confused. "Why?"

Harry plucked it out of her hand, holding it up to her. "Because I want you to marry me," He said, slipping it onto her finger with the sweetest smile she had ever seen.

Y/N smiled at him. "It's ok, Harry, you're very high on all the painkillers right now. I won't hold you to anything you say," She laughed a little.

"I'm not... why would I be on painkiller... oh yeah," Harry grinned, looking around. "I remember why I'm high right now."

"Riiight."

"I might be high, but I still want to marry you," he said is a singsong voice.

Y/N laughed. "Harry, why don't we talk about this when you're sober, ok?"

Harry pouted. "Please? Please marry me? I love you, and you're so pretty, and you're so nice to animals..." He started crying, apparently at how nice Y/N was to animals. "And... a cat! We can get a cat together!"

"Harry, baby, don't cry, of course we can get a cat," She gently wiped the tears from his bruised face.

"I won't stop crying until you say you'll marry me," Harry said defiantly, gripping Y/N's arm. "Pleeeaaase?"

"Ok, Harry, yes, I will marry you. Sure. You can stop crying now, ok?"

"That's good, I'm glad, because you're my favorite person, and I looooove you, and you're my baaaaby..."

At this point Harry was just singing random words, usually circling back to "baaaaby" and "looooove youuuu".

Y/N felt happy for the first time in what felt like years, while really it had been less than 24 hours.

Eventually, he wanted to see the ring again. Y/N held up her hand and he gasped.

"It's so beautiful! I'll buy you a real one though, a real ring for our real wedding. Then we'll get a real house and have real babies, and a real cat," He said, with the dopiest grin Y/N had ever seen.

"Oh? We'll have babies, huh? How many babies will we have?"

"3," He answered quickly. "Two girls and a boy. No... 4. Two of each. That way they won't team up one of them."

"Oh, sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Y/N laughed.

"Every single day since we started dating, you know why?"

"Why?"

He motioned for her to lean closer.

"Because I looooove you," He sang in her ear.

She pulled back, kissing his swollen cheek.

"You're a sweetheart," She said affectionately.

"So're you," He smiled.

"I kind of like drugged Harry," Y/N laughed. "He's very cute."

"Drugged Harry also likes drugged Harry, he feels like he's floating."

"Oh, so drugged Harry talks about himself in the third person?"

"He does now!" Harry smiled at her again. "Drugged Harry is tired... he's just going to..."

Then the monitors started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, bustling around and shouting various medical terminology. Another nurse ushered Y/N out of Harry's room for the second time that day.

"No! No, I need to stay with him! I can't-"

"Shh... it's alright. They're going to do everything they can to help him. You have to let them help him. Why don't we go to the waiting room?"

Y/N exhaled shakily. If she couldn't stay with Harry, she might as well sit instead of hovering around the corner.

"Yes, let's go to the waiting room," She said, after a few deep breaths.

Y/N had been sitting on the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, but a glance at her phone told her it had only been 45 minutes.

A woman in a surgical gown approached her, and Y/N stood up quickly. "What happened?" She asked immediately.

"Unfortunately, your husband's brain bleed did not resolve itself like we had hoped. He is in surgery, and for right now he's doing well," the surgeon said, looking sympathetic.

"Ok... why did the monitors freak out? Did his heart stop? Is he going to wake up from surgery?"

"The monitors went off because his heart was having trouble, but they were able to resuscitate him through CPR and defibrillation. It's too soon to know if he will wake up, but the surgeon is hopeful. I will come back to update you as soon as I can."

"Ok, thank you," Y/N said, sinking back into her chair.

She felt a pain in her chest, like real, actual pain. What would she do without Harry? How would she live with herself, knowing he died trying to save her?

She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and choked back a sob. Would she tell people she was engaged? No, of course not. Harry had been completely out of his mind when he'd asked her.

She slumped down in her chair, wanting to curl up and cry. Instead, she called her mom. Through her tears, she explained everything that happened.

"Oh, honey," Her mom sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. I'll be there in about 7 hours, I'm sorry it'll take so long. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?"

"No, I can't," Y/N sniffled. "I have to call Harry's family."

"Do you want me to do that? I wouldn't mind, they're-"

"No, mom, thank you, but I should. I- I'm going to go. Love you," Y/N said, hanging up the phone.

Checking her phone, Y/N realized it was the middle of the night in London where Harry's family lived. She didn't think she should wait, so she called Anne without another thought.

"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. We're getting the soonest flight. We won't be there until tomorrow morning. Will you be alright alone? Is your mother coming?"

"Yes, my mom's on her way. I'm ok, thank you," Y/N said, rubbing her eyes.

After she hung up the phone, it set in just how exhausted she was. She had slept poorly the night before, because of the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and because she was so, so, worried for Harry.

She drifted into a fitful sleep where she dreamed of cars crashing, rings flying around, and Harry standing just out of her reach. He was like a rainbow, the closer she got to him, the more he faded.

She startled awake and realized there were tears on her face. She checked her phone, seeing that it had only been 3 hours.

She saw the same woman from before approaching her, this time wearing just scrubs.

Y/ N stood to meet her.

"Harry is out of surgery and doing well. We were able to repair the brain bleed. His heart stopped on the table," Y/N gasped at this, "But we were able to get him back. His ribs will be very sore and possibly even broken. All that aside, he is doing well, Mrs. Styles, and you can see him now," She said, Leading Y/N to the elevator.

Her breath trembled as they walked towards his room.

Harry was laying in his bed, looking like a fragile child. Even though he was so much bigger than her, right now he seemed so... small.

Y/N looked at the nurse, asking to sit with him. She nodded and explained that two of his ribs were fractured and his collarbone would hurt him a lot when he woke up.

Y/N held his hand with a featherlight touch, unwilling to jostle him even the smallest bit.

After about an hour of her reading to him, she felt a small movement, barely even noticeable. Was it...?

She felt another movement. This time she was sure of it. He was squeezing her hand.

"I'm here Harry, I'm right here," She soothed, moving her chair closer to him.

He groaned sleepily before opening his emerald eyes and looking at her.

"Hi," he smiled, squeezing her hand again.

"Hi," Y/N said, crying more than a little bit.

"What... did... are you ok?" Harry's brow furrowed. He seemed to have a hundred questions, but he settled on asking how she was.

"Yes, Harry, I'm ok. How do you feel?"

"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes. "But if you're ok, so am I."

Y/N kissed his hand. "I see drugged Harry is still here? The one that is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute and sweet?"

"No, he's not. This is just regular Harry. I can tell because everything 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurts," He said with a small grimace.

"Oh, I'll get the nurse. They'll give you something," Y/N started to get up, but Harry's grip on her hand tightened.

"Wait," he said pulling her back to him. "Before they make me go all loopy, I just want to say-" He paused, looking at the ring on her finger. "I love you, to my fiancee. I think it counts more when I'm not high."

"Your- your fiancee? Harry, I told you I wouldn't hold you to anything you said before. You weren't in your right mind at all, I didn't even think you'd remember saying all that."

"Yeah, but I remember asking you to marry me and you said yes. You might not be holding me to anything I said, but I'm holding you to that," He grinned. "You really want to deny a dying man his last... dying... wish?"

Harry flopped his good arm dramatically over his forehead, wincing at the motion. Y/N helped him slowly lower it again.

"First of all, you're not dying. Secondly, I don't want you to go through with this because you feel obligated, or because you think I'll be upset if you aren't ready to propose. It's totally fine, I promise, but why don't we talk about this when you're feeling better?"

"No, I feel fine," He insisted.

Y/N gave him a look. "Really? You do? Aren’t you the one who just needed help moving your arm?"

"Irrelevant. I feel fine, like, mentally. If you don't think you're ready to be engaged to me, that's ok. But don't say no because you think I didn't mean it. I did, with every part of me. I love you, and I want you to be my wife."

"...Really?" Y/N asked, cheeks heating up.

"Really," Harry smiled.

"And according to drugged Harry, you want to have a cat and 4 children."

Harry laughed, wincing immediately.

"Don't make me laugh, my chest really hurts," He said, still holding her hand.

"Sorry, sorry, they said you have some broken ribs. Also your collarbone. Also your femur. Geez, Styles, you're kind of a mess," You laughed.

"Yeah, really," He smiled. "But seriously, will you? Will you be my wife?"

"Of course I will, Harry. I love you so much, of course I will," Y/N said, gently kissing his cheek.

"Great," Harry beamed at her. "Now that we've worked that out, can you get the nurse? Drugged Harry is ready to make a comeback."

"Oh, right, sorry," Y/N said, reaching over for the call button.

The nurse came in, giving Harry more medicine.

"You'll start to have some relief within a few minutes," She said, leaving them alone again.

"One more thing Y/N," Harry said. She could already tell he was a little more relaxed. "I have to get you a ring!"

Y/N smiled, holding up her hand. "I already have one, remember?"

Harry waved her hand away. "No, no, a bride can't buy her own ring! What kind of... chivalrous... gentleman... would I be if I didn't buy you a beautiful ring?"

"Ok, Harry, as soon as you get out of here, we'll go ring shopping," Y/N promised.

"And... to the cat shelter? You said we could get a cat... a kitty, a cat, a little kitty cat..."

Harry had started singing mumbled words about cats and love and babies. Y/N knew it was going to be a long night. Still, she had never been happier.

#harry styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #happy ending #car accident #fanfiction #the first thing i've ever written #reader insert #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #one direction #one direction fanfiction

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buckyswheezes · 4 years ago

Text

Perfectly Fine (Pt. 5)

Premise: “You know why I don’t like you? It’s because you’re a natural. You’re naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You’re naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It’s like you naturally get what you want, you don’t have to work hard for it. You don’t have to pretend because people naturally like you.”

Or Bucky found out that the new oh-so-perfect Junior Accountant of Stark Industries isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It was only eight in the morning, but you found yourself busy as a bee. You woke up early that Saturday to somewhat clean up your apartment because Wanda would drop William off before her flight to DC. You promised her you’d look after the boy while she was gone, and you meant it.

An hour and a half later, the doorbell rang, and you wasted no time opening the door, knowing who it was.

“Hey, co-“

“Mornin’ doll.”

Your smile immediately vanished at the person in front of you, turning into a scowl. “The fuck are you doing here, you peasant?”

Never mind that he looked hot as hell in that black shirt. You loathed it when he shows up unannounced.

“Can’t I visit my girlfriend on weekends?” James retorted with a smirk and pushed past you to get inside. You did not miss the way his eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, this place is pristine.”

“Shut up, James.” You said as your trailed behind him towards the living room, annoyed at the apparent jab at your moment of cleanliness. “First, I am not your girlfriend, and second, I don’t have time for your blackmail shitshow today because Wanda and William will be here soon.”

“I’m gonna let that first one slide, doll since I know how grumpy you can be in the morning.”

You decided to ignore his statement, content with shooting eye daggers towards the back of his head. He went straight to the kitchen to make coffee, you knew, because that’s what he always does when he shows up unannounced and pesters you in your house.

Minutes later, the doorbell rang again, and you briefly hoped that this time, it’s Wanda and William behind the door. You got up from where you were seated on the couch, but James beat you to the door.

“I’ll get it.”

Alarmed, you ran towards him before he could open it. “No!” You lowly hissed. “I don’t want Wanda to know you’re here. Go hide in the kitchen.”

He raised a brow at you. “Wanda already knows we’re dating. What I got to hide for?”

“Yes, but I don’t want her to think that we’re… you know.” You flushed at the thought. You’ve always known that couples who go to their partner’s houses are doing it -not that you think you and James are couples. You just didn’t want Wanda to have the impression that you two are having sex as well.

You dropped your gaze from his face, and it fell on his chest. You didn’t miss the way how the dark fabric clung to him. He was well-built, no doubt; it was the first time you’ve seen him wearing clothing other than his suit and tie. His usually sleek brunette hair is tousled, but he still looked handsome as hell. The image will be etched in your mind for a while, you know it.

Bucky saw your face heat up and instantly knew what you were referring to. “We’re what, doll?” He smirked as he leans closer to your face.

Your breath hitched. “Nothing, just get to the god damned kitchen, please.”

“As you wish, sweetheart.” He conceded, which actually surprised you.

When James finally disappeared into the kitchen, you tried to calm yourself down before opening the door, greeting Wanda with a sweet smile.

“Thanks again, y/n. I owe you.”

“You’re welcome, Wanda. And don’t worry, Will’s in good hands.” You assured her.

The redhead turned to her son, who now stood beside you, your arm draped over his shoulder. “Now, you be good, okay. Don’t give y/n a hard time.” She reminded before giving him a peck on the cheek. She bid the both of you goodbye, and you both watched as she hailed a cab and climbed as soon as she got one.

You led the boy inside, noting how he got excited at the sight of James. You weren’t aware that they know each other.

“Hey, Will. Wanna go biking today?” James asked as he walked towards you two.

Your jaw dropped. No, that wasn’t what you planned to do today. You and Will were gonna binge watch Paw Patrol on Netflix, maybe munch on some sweet snacks, play a little, then hit the sack when night came.

“I don’t think tha-“

“YES!” William yelled enthusiastically, then looked at you, eyes pleading. “Can we go biking, y/n?”

“Oh, sure, Will. If that’s what you want.”

“Yay! Thank you y/n!”

Once again, you turned to James with a scowl, but he only grinned at you. If looks could kill, this man would be dead. “Go and get dressed, doll. We’re gonna have so much fun today.”

———

Bucky cast a worried glance at you. “You okay, doll?” He asked. You’ve been unusually quiet since you got in the car. You weren’t blessing him with your curses, and he thought it was because you’re censoring your words because of William, but he noticed that you weren’t even shooting him your virtual daggers.

You just sat there on the passenger seat with a blank face, and it got him concerned.

“Doll?” He called again when you didn’t respond the first time, and you finally looked at him as if broken from a trance.

“Huh?”

“You good?”

You bit your lip in trepidation as you recalled what James said earlier.

“We’re just like a family, bonding over the weekend. It’s gonna be fun.”

Family? Bonding? You sat there staring at his side profile but not really seeing him. You were lost in your thoughts. How do you bond with your family?

You were in second grade when you noticed that you were different from the other kids. You didn’t have a mother, and they did. And that’s what a family is, your teacher said. There’s a mother, a father, and their child or children. And the family has fun on the weekends, and they call it bonding.

You were shocked, scared, and you panicked. You didn’t have a family, and you certainly didn’t bond during weekends. No, what you did since you were six was helping around your father’s small repair shop after school. When the weekend came, he would spend the entire day drinking while you listen as he rants on about all his life’s problems.

You remembered asking yourself why? Why were you different? Maybe there’s something wrong with you? Maybe you didn’t really have a family, you didn’t have a mother, and you didn’t bond during weekends.

“I’m fine.” You finally said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” You squeaked. You know James wasn’t buying it, so you decided to change the subject instead. You turned to William, who sat in the back, seatbelt strapped on.

“What do you wanna do after biking, Will? Wanna go to the arcades?”

The boy’s eyes lit up at your suggestion. “Can we?”

“Of course! Then after that, we’ll grab pizza and ice cream. How’s that sound?”

“Can I have cotton candy too?”

You chuckled, a genuine smile finally gracing your lips. “Sure!”

True enough, the three of you went cycling by the park with rented bikes, after that, you rented rollerblades and went skating (you, failing miserably so while the two boys laughed at the way you fell on your butt cheeks but James was always there to help you out). Then you went and grabbed pizza and ice cream and cotton candy, and when you’re all full, you beelined for the arcades.

The night rolled in, Will is asleep on the back seat while you and James sat in front.

“Is this what you did with your family when you were a child?”

“Yes, my dad taught me how to ride a bike. Sometimes we’ll go to the movies, swimming, hiking. How about you?”

You shifted in your seat, heart beating loudly. You thought you’ve gotten over it, for fuck’s sake, it was a very long time ago! “No, we don’t… we didn’t do any of those things.” You glanced away.

You felt something warm envelope your hand. You turned and saw James leaning close. “It doesn’t really matter what you do, doll. It doesn’t matter if what you did was different; what’s important is you had a connection.”

You nodded at his comforting words.

“Now, let’s go home. I bet you’re tired.

Part 6

author's notes: This story's ending soon. Don't worry tho, if you want more AU Bucky, I have a couple stories lined up. I got you, fam.

Taglist: @crowleyqueenofhell

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes

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jarienn972 · 4 years ago

Text

Weathering the Storm - Part Four

For a multitude of reasons, it has been ages since I've been able to update this story. I had the chapter all plotted out, but never seemed to be able to find time (or sometimes just motivation) to write. I appreciate those who reached out to me asking if I planned to update it and I thank you so much for your patience! I absolutely plan to finish it and right now, there are 2 more planned chapters to close everything out.

For now though, since it has been a few months, here’s a quick recap of where we left off in the last chapter: Emma braved the elements to investigate the abandoned Sheriff cruiser, and after seeing the dashcam video, knows that her husband is injured after the disastrous traffic stop. She's made the assumption that Killian would try to make his way to the closest dwelling to the lonely stretch of highway - Zelena's farmhouse. We're going to pick up at that same farmhouse as the unrelenting thunderstorm continues.

If you’d like to catch up from the beginning, you can find all of the current chapters on FF.net and AO3. Tumblr: Part One Part Two Part Three

Despite the warm glow from the flickering orange and gold flames in the fireplace behind her chair, the lingering dreariness of the day was wearing heavily on Zelena's mood. The sky was still laden with dull, grey clouds unleashing unholy torrents of rain upon the farmhouse's metal roof and continuous gusts of wind threatened to blow away the fluttering blue tarp which was only barely protecting them from the elements.

Oh, what she wouldn't have given right now if she could still possess the ability to poof them all away from this isolated outpost deep in the forest. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hasty and rammed that beat up old jalopy of hers into the Black Fairy. She wasn't particularly good at driving the beast but perhaps she could have managed to get into town… Oh, heavens...who was she kidding? In this weather, she wouldn't have made it to the end of the drive, and anyway, the ugly, metal death-trap was still sitting on a lot in town, rusting away as it awaited repairs. It hadn't been a high priority to fix when she'd had electricity and a working telephone to call Regina who'd pop in with supplies and whatever if she needed a hand with something. If she couldn't solve the problem with magic from a distance, she'd drive out to help her sister and niece, but she certainly couldn't do that right now.

At least, she could be thankful for the simple fact that Robin would sleep through almost anything when she had a full tummy. She couldn't recall the exact time she'd put her daughter down for her afternoon nap, but she estimated that it had been about an hour and a half, meaning her child was going to awaken soon and Zelena would have to figure out a way to entertain a cranky toddler in a dark, drafty house. For now though, the exasperated mom was enjoying the quiet reprieve from this stress-filled day before Robin was awake and wanting to play ,and then Zelena would also have to figure a way to keep the baby from bothering their guest.

Their guest.

How long had it been now since Hook showed up sopping wet on her doorstep? Two hours? Closer to three? Surely Emma would have realized that something was amiss if she'd not heard from her husband by now. How long might it take before someone realized that he was lying on her sofa right at this very moment? He was still semi-peacefully slumbering after taking a swig of the children's pain reliever which might have taken enough of the edge off to allow him to rest - or he'd just passed out from sheer agony and exhaustion.

Either way, she tried to distract herself with a little bit of reading by the firelight. The dancing flames cast odd shadows across the pages making the text difficult to see at times, but then she wasn't fully paying attention to the prose before her. She could scarcely recall a thing she'd read from the prior chapter, much less the last paragraph. She just needed something - anything - to keep her weary mind occupied during this brief reprieve. She was going bloody stir crazy, even beginning to believe she was hearing things that weren't there. She'd swear she just heard something rapping on the kitchen window, but quickly dismissed the thought, figuring it was just the swirling wind rattling the creaky door.

Until she was certain that she heard the sound of her name being called over the howling of the storm.

**********

Emma had briefly considered poofing herself right into the center of Zelena's kitchen, but decided against it at the last second, instead materializing from a cloud of pale grey smoke on the front porch instead. While she was somewhat protected from the storm by the narrow extension of the roof, rain water poured over the eaves in sheets. Considering that the gravel driveway leading up from the road had morphed into a shallow, muddy lake, the porch was relatively dry in comparison, although Emma wasn't certain just how protected she was from Mother Nature's fury when a bolt of lightning lit up the darkened skies. The tin roof above her head probably wasn't the safest right now…

She took a long stride closer to the door, wiping away some condensation from the glass with her sleeve as she peered through the window. She couldn't make out much inside the empty kitchen as it was fairly dark with a faint orangish glow in the distance. Zelena probably had a fire burning to provide some light and heat to stave off the chills with the power still out. She couldn't hear any voices emanating from the interior of the house, but it was possible that the noise of the rain striking the metal roof was drowning out any sounds from inside. But in the dim backlight provided by the firelight, Emma could make out a dark mass draped around the back of one of the ladderback chairs - a shape that looked decidedly like the collar and shoulders of a coat. A dark coat that had enough of a sheen on its surface to reflect the warm hue of the flames. Just like a certain black leather coat that her husband had been wearing when he departed for the station this morning.

Please, let that be Killian's coat, she begged of whatever higher power might be listening as she knocked anxiously on the window. Not noticing any movement inside the farmhouse, she rapped again, but this time on the wooden door instead of the glass as her sight fell upon a ruddy stain upon the white paint. Was that blood?

"Zelena?" she shouted, hoping that her voice would carry louder than her knocking. "Zelena? Are you in there?" Well, that was a stupid question...Of course she had to be inside. Most people wouldn't leave home with a fire still burning and where exactly would she go? Even if she'd managed to get her crappy car running, there was no way she would have made it into town in this downpour. She probably wouldn't have reached the end of the driveway… "Zelena!" she cried out even louder this time.

Seeing the familiar hue of the former witch's wild auburn hair through the steamed up glass, Emma's nerves abated momentarily and she let out a relieved exhale as the door was yanked open.

"Emma?" a startled Zelena muttered as she found the drenched, blonde sheriff standing at her doorstep, but her mood instantly lifted. "I am so happy to see you! I was hoping that you'd soon figure out your husband came here to seek help."

"Thank goodness. There weren't many places he could have gone, so I was really hoping he made it here. He recorded the whole thing on the dashcam, so I know he was shot. Is he alright?" Emma tried to keep her nerves in check, but as she rambled on, she knew she was failing miserably.

"He's in on the sofa. He's sleeping right now. Well, at least I think he's sleeping… He's been in and out of consciousness," Zelena explained as she waved Emma inside. Emma brushed past the redhead who closed the door quickly before the wind blew any more of the never-ending precipitation into the kitchen. Zelena continued detailing all she'd done to help, even though she doubted Emma heard half of it. "I've tried my best to get the bleeding under control. It isn't near as heavy as it was before, but he still lost a lot. The bullet that hit him went clean through and I don't think anything too vital was struck, but I really don't know for certain. He's still a bloody mess and a bit feverish. I tried giving him some of Robin's baby ibuprofen to help with the pain too, but I don't have a bloody clue how well that worked..."

Half-listening as she rounded the corner into the living room, Emma made a bee-line over to the sofa where she discovered her husband curled on his side with a woolen blanket draped over him. Even with the golden glow cast by the flames, his skin bore a deathly pallor. "Oh, Killian…," she sighed as she dropped to her knees on the floor beside him. She cupped her palm around his cheek, finding it cool and clammy beneath the warmth of her fingers. A muted, but guttural moan escaped his throat as he stirred at her touch. He blinked twice in the low light but as his sight adjusted, his eyelids parted fully to focus on the unexpected, but magnificent face of his true love.

"Swan?" he mumbled, his muddled brain trying to determine if she was real or just a cruel hallucination.

"It's me," Emma smiled, happy to find him conscious and communicative. "I'm here and I'm going to get you help…"

"Now that you can heal him, it'll all be fine," Zelena spoke up. "I would have already done that if I still had my magic, but now Emma can get you all fixed up," she gave a nod to Killian but the expression that crossed Emma's face confused her.

"Unfortunately, it isn't quite that simple…," Emma groaned in frustration. "Because this situation involved criminals from outside of Storybrooke, I had to have David notify the state police and put out a bulletin to watch for the vehicle. They'll have questions about the shooting, and if the deputy who they can see being shot on dashcam footage is suddenly, miraculously healed, those questions are going to get uncomfortable and weird and cast doubt on the whole thing. I don't even think that saying Killian was wearing a bulletproof vest would hold up under the circumstances…"

"So, what does that mean?" Zelena questioned.

"I'll have to get him back to Whale - transport him directly to the hospital…"

Emma was cut off mid-sentence as the storm unleashed a tremendous gust of wind that blasted through the broken window, billowing out the tarp until the nails could no longer hold and the resulting gush extinguished the fire. Swirls of raindrops, leaves and other debris were forced through the opening as the tarp floundered and flopped about the floor. Without a moment's hesitation, she spun around and raised her hands. In a split-second, a magical wave of bright light filled the room, vanquishing the tarp and all of the storm debris as it repaired the damaged window, restoring it to its original state like its twin further down the living room wall.

Zelena breathed a sigh of relief as the threat of further damage subsided for the time being, even though the room was plunged into darkness without the flames illuminating it. She wasn't going to miss that ugly plastic sheet, nor would she miss the drafts and rainwater that seeped in around its edges.

"Thank you for fixing that awful eyesore," Zelena said as Robin let out a terrified wail after being awakened by all of the commotion. "I'm coming, my love," she assured her daughter but she also gave Emma a quizzical look before heading over to the play yard. "Do you think you're going to have to explain that one?" she asked Emma with a gesture towards the repaired window.

"Hopefully, it won't come to it, but I suppose I'll think of something, if necessary," Emma replied as she turned her attention back to her wounded husband while Zelena scooped up a whimpering toddler. "Okay, one crisis averted," she whispered as she gently squeezed her husband's bicep through the blanket. "Let's get you into town so we can get you fixed up too."

Killian gave a weak nod and allowed his eyes to fall closed again as he steeled himself for teleportation, never knowing how rough the landing may be when they re-materialized. The commonplace of magical transport was something this grizzled mariner was still getting used to.

"Take us with you," Zelena interrupted. Unprepared for such a request, Emma glanced upward into the pleading eyes of the redhead who was still bouncing a teary-eyed toddler on her hip.

"What?" Emma stammered, her brow knitted in confusion. Had she heard that right?

"Please… Will you transport us there with you? I promise, we will be out of your way as soon as we get there. I'll call Regina to come pick us up, but I can't stay isolated out here in this bloody storm with no power and no way to get in touch with anyone. I hate not having magic anymore… I don't want to be a bother, but please…?"

"Um...sure, I guess," Emma responded. "For everything you've done for Killian today, I suppose it's the least I could do."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" the former witch gushed. "Let me grab Robin's things. I'll be less than a minute!" She scurried into the bedroom to collect Robin's diaper bag as well as a jacket for each of them, then quickly darted into the kitchen to grab the baby's pre-made evening bottle, which the little one eyed greedily as they returned to the living room. Her final task was to toss a pitcher of water onto the smoldering remnants of the fire to ensure it was completely out before they vacated the farmhouse. Returning to Emma's side, Zelena gave her daughter a tight hug and exclaimed: "All ready."

"Then off to Storybrooke Hospital we go," Emma stated, swishing her wrist before the magical cloud enveloped them.

#cs ff #cs fan fic #captain swan ff #killian whump #weathering the storm #gunshot wound #i know this update has been long delayed and is a little short #but i needed to break it there

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isuspectyouhavefantheories · 4 years ago

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Search for the Sun 🌞

So this is Part 2 of “the Sun” series.

Part 1 found : https://isuspectyouhavefantheories.tumblr.com/post/640838971892662272/the-crossroads-to-the-sun here!

Ok so, NSFW, I can’t figure out how to make this appear shorter or have it appear under the cut cus mobile Tumblr sucks eggs. You heard me.

Takemura/Female V fic

Rated MA, for mature, sexual themes, read at own risk.

—————————————-

Somewhere in the Mojave....

“We need a new carburettor for this thing V and someone’s gonna have to re-solder this whole board before we can even do that! We aren’t going to be getting our cargo vans very far like.” Saul sighed, closing the hood of the large van with a heavy thud as he wiped the grease and dust from his hands. His expression was his usual deeply worried frown and she noticed how even as he wiped his hands clean they remained oil stained and grubby. He’d been toiling over engines all day, putting one fire out after another.

“I’ll see what Mitch and I can do but it’s gonna take a little while. We’re already trying to get a handle on repairs to the solar panels and honestly that’s the thing I want to make sure we have fixed before night fall. We can stop for the night, recuperate.” She gave him a pointed look that he only waived off. “I’ll fix up the vans in the morning and we can get going after. We have some time before the next storm, quit your worrying.” V offered, punching his arm lightly, Saul only smiled in return.

“How’d you end up being my second in command? I thought that was supposed to be Panam?” He chuckled.

“She’s got her hands full at the moment.”

“With?”

“Dick.”

Saul balked at her and V only waggled her eyebrows, nodding her head in the direction of a lightly rocking AV on the outskirts of camp.

“Incidentally, his name is also Dick.” She chuckled.

“God damnit, PANAM!” She watched in mild amusement as Saul stormed away toward the aforementioned vehicle to reprimand his second for her blatant public fornication. So she heaved herself forward, ignoring the mild ache in her body and forcing her legs and arms to continue obeying her. V decided that she would save herself the mental anguish of tangling with the solar grid and get out of camp for an hour at the least. Evidently fighting burning migraines and muscle spasms was trying at the best of times, especially when attempting to keep up with her duties to the clan.

She didn’t want to sit around and be a burden on them, regardless of Saul and Panam’s insistence on her getting more rest. In truth, she loathed inactivity, too much time to start thinking, or worse, listening to Johnny, who was still holding out the hope she was going to turn the clan around and storm Mikoshi instead of this slow shicide she had carved out for herself instead. The twilight hours were the worst, because there was nothing she could do, hours she had spent staring at her tent roof, only to give up and lay under the stars, at least then she had something to occupy her. It had been especially hard the last few nights and she had more than once woken to Saul staring down at her with a worried look she would wave off and tell him that really, she was fine, dusting the sand from her and continuing on with her day at camp.

She admired the location for what it was, they had chosen a decent spot for the camp and they had some useful vantage points. Any Raffen trying to get the jump on them would be in for a surprise, they’d see their asses a mile wide.

She pulled Evelyn’s cigarette case from her utility belt pocket, igniting it with a match she then shook out to extinguish as she breathed a long drag.

“Fuuuck.” Johnny groaned appreciatively.

“You’re welcome.” She laughed as she gazed at the expanse of the desert. It’s wild beauty marred by burnt out car wrecks and pile upon pile of garbage. Her eyes landed on yet another old ruined petrol station. She couldn’t help but let her mind wander back to the week previous. Her night with Takemura had been everything to her. Laying there in his arms, basking in the beautiful aftermath listening to him breath as he slept, watching the steady rise and fall of his partially plated chest. She had wanted nothing more in the world than to just stay there in that abandoned truck stop, for the rest of their lives they could be there and she’d have been the happiest woman alive. But as she stared down at his sleeping face she knew she was living a pipe dream.

He was loyal to the bone to Arasaka. She would never be enough, she could never pry those chains from him. Even knowing what she had told him, about Hanako and Saburo, she imagined he had dusted himself off the next morning and returned to his master tail between his legs like the well trained guard dog they made him into. Why wait until morning to watch him fumble and ruin a perfectly good fuck, one for the history books, by seeing him slink back to the clutches of the Emperor’s family? Just to feel the raw sting of his departure, the rejection in his blind obedience to the people that saw him only as a pawn to be played. No. She decided to rip the proverbial band aid off. She was a quiet and stealthy thief, expertly manoeuvring around him in silence and then pushing her thorton far enough out of ear shot from him then just... driving away. She had to admit, it was shitty. To just leave him there without so much as a goodbye. But she knew if she had waited it would have been another day of trying to convince him to let her go.

Or he might have even managed to convince you to go back to Arasaka.

Johnny’s interjection to her train of thought startled her and she watched him materialise, cigarette in hand, perching with his legs dangling from a delapidated hoodoo rock a few yards in front of her.

“I wouldn’t have gone with him Johnny. I wasn’t going to just let them shred you into bits, fuck man, gotta give me more credit than that.” She was annoyed he could even insinuate such a thing, especially given where they now stood.

“You didn’t take your blockers during your little roll around with Mr Miyagi.” He groaned and her cheeks immediately flushed a deep crimson. “I know you were thinking it for a moment there in the... aftermath.” He sighed, looking down at her from his perch.

He took off his aviators and pursed his lips as if he was about to say something pivotal to the narrative but more than likely just as irritating as his previous comment so he decidedly closed his mouth, thinking better of it and returning his gaze to the endless desert plains. The fact that she could read him so well now was not lost on her.

“I wasn’t going to let them hurt you. Believe it or not you’re my friend, Johnny.” He glanced down at her again and a smile attempted to tug at the corner of his lips but he put his shades back on and coughed into his closed fist to cover it up.

“Well thanks. I guess. Doesn’t matter now anyway. We’re done for as is I suppose.” He breathed out a plume of holographic smoke that seemed to float off into the desert. “But you’re still thinking about him.” He deadpanned, making her sigh in irritation.

“Look.. it just kills me because... Goro was my friend too. And now he’s...” she smoothed her hair back from her face, letting her hand slide to the nape of her neck and head drooping down to look at her weathered and scuffed steel toe boots, her tool belt slung across her hips, held together by the tied sleeves of her blue net running jumpsuit she had to wear half down due to being in the beating sun while working all day. She could see her skin was already blistered with another light sunburn but also some sun freckles newly blooming. Her hands, more calloused and rough now than in her entire career as an amateur merc. She frowned. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I’m here now Johnny. I know that I shouldn’t keep living in the past but... let me at least mourn. Please?”

“Alright, alright. I get it. Here, just take some advice from a guy who’s had to... leave behind a few broken hearts in his day. Get drunk. Get fucked. Get angry. Get over it. Always worked for me anyhow.” She rolled her eyes at the rocker boy, letting her hand fall to her side, taking the last drag of her cigarette wasn’t even appealing to her so she quickly flicked it away.

“Aw.” Johnny grumbled. “The cherry is the best bit!” He whined but she ignored him. V made to turn back to the camp but some faint movement along the horizon caught her eye. She pulled out her binoculars and got as close as she could to the slightly glimmering and fast approaching object. Upon closer inspection she realised it was a car. And not just any car.

His car.

She froze, glued to the vehicle rapidly approaching the camp.

What the fuck does he think he’s doing?

-———

He admitted to a small amount of apprehension about this move to approach head on as he pulled up alongside the Basilisk, giving it a long stare and praying silently to whatever gods were out there watching over him that he had found the right Nomad camp this time. He had already had to blast his way out of two raffen pits as of yesterday and wasn’t thrilled about the possibility of having to do so again.

A tap on his car window brought him from his thoughts and he rolled it down.

“What brings you here, friend?” Mitch asked, Saul and Panam on the sidelines, iron at the ready.

“I apologise for the intrusion. I mean you no harm, I am simply attempting to locate someone. A friend.” He explained.

“Who’s your friend?” Saul called after him.

“Her name is V.” The Nomads grew quiet, looking between each other. “Perhaps she has passed by here? Stopped for supplies?”

“Excuse me?” Panam sputtered.

“V doesn’t have ties to Arasaka anymore. Suggest you move on.” Saul moved closer to the car window, pushing past Mitch.

He leaned his arm against the top of the car door frame, letting his revolver rest against it in a menacing if threatening show of dominance. This here was the Aldecaldos stomping ground. And he’d be dead in the ground before he let some corpo asshole get their hands on V. Takemura’s eyes hardened a moment on the large nomad, his hands righting on the wheel now as he internally scanned the area with what limited tech he still had to work with. She searched for her signature but either his implants were all now truly offline or she wasn’t here.

“I am not with Arasaka.” Takemura thought he would feel pain at uttering those words, but if anything, each word made him feel lighter.

“Yeah sure. Just covered in Arasaka cyberware, driving around on Arasaka wheels, wearing a full on uniform for their security detail. Totally.” Panam quipped.

Takemura sighed.

“Anymore.” He amended, but the trio still eyed him sceptically, he felt it best he stayed in the car for now.

“Is she here?” He questioned, quickly surveying the camp to try and find her himself, a small kernel of hope planting in his chest as he looked through the small crowd that had gathered by them, hopeful to catch a glimpse of her but Saul’s hand reached out for him roughly, pulling him up to the open window by the front of his shirt with a resounding clunk.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at here but if you think for a second I’m just gonna let you-.”

“Saul. Stop. It’s cool.” Takemura’s head whipped over Saul’s shoulder to the source of the voice. His heart clenched painfully upon seeing V finally.

She was a vision. Almost like a beautiful mirage that had been conjured up by the desert heat and his possible dehydration but upon closer inspection he knew it had to be her. Her every freckle and scar burned into his memory, he would know here anywhere, even caked in soot and sand.

“V, come on, we don’t even know if he’s got people tailing him. We’ve already got our hands full with Militech for Christ’s sake, let’s not go adding to that pile.” Saul glared down, unconvinced by Takemura’s own words.

“I wouldn’t be saying this if I thought he was a danger. He’s not. Please just let me talk to him.” Saul groaned but he made the mistake of meeting her gaze and knew there was no telling her no so he released Goro and opened the door to the car.

“Out. Follow her.” Saul grumbled, hand still leaning against the top of the door, but before Takemura could step out funny a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder. “Try and pull any funny shit though and I’ll drop your ass myself. No hesitation.” Takemura hadn’t realised just how big Saul was before but did not let that deter him.

“I will be sure to keep it in mind.” Goro responded in an uninterested tone, not really registering him, only focusing on V, before quickly making his way to her side. He reached out for her but she had already turned away and was walking up to a trailer, ascending a small flight of stairs before reaching the screen door. She threw him a look over her shoulder and motioned with her head for him to follow.

—————-

Once inside the privacy of the trailer V rounded on him, her eyes filled with confusion and anger.

“What the fuck, Goro?” She hissed. “Why are you here?”

He swallowed thickly, never realising that even through all his fighting to get back to her side, he had never even put his reasoning into words. And he had always had a defined reason for everything he did, it was something he was fucking known for. But now, standing here he couldn’t even begin to rationalise any of his actions, only that being here now already felt more right than anything in his life ever had. He opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish. She noticed his silence but was quickly distracted by his haggard appearance. Her eyes widened however at the lack of the dim lights on his cybernetics.

She reached for him cautiously, her fingertips brushing against the red outer wiring of his throat that no longer glowed with the hum of electronics and now simply shined in the dim light, essentially now just useless plastic.

“Your implants...” she whispered, tracing her finger down the line of the metal overlay of his neck and to the edge of his jaw, Goro watching her every motion with laser focus. “Why are they..?”

“They were deactivated when I failed to return a few days ago.” he wanted to reach for her, to touch her, that’s all he’s thought about day and night since she left him. “I was starting to think I was going to die out there before I found you.” He chuckled softly yet he inwardly savoured how close she was, her scent, near unchanged since their night together. The scent was now infused with a small background of motor oil now that clingged to her hands but it was strangely fitting for her.

“Why?” She whispered angrily at him, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

He raised his own hand now to weave with hers, holding it to his heart as he stared down at her with so much sureness, so much care and devotion that she felt unworthy.

“I defected, V.” Her eyes widened at him but still she said nothing. “I am... I can’t go back. If you only have a short time left, then... there isn’t anywhere else I want to be. I want to be here with you, I don’t want to miss a second of you ever again. I-.” He closed his eyes, terrified to see her reaction but was nearly sent spinning as she thrust herself without warning at him, her arms suddenly wrapping around his shoulders. His own arms instinctively wrapped around her, returning the embrace yet part of him still feared the worst.

Did she pity him? Is that why she said nothing? Was this her letting him down gently? She was always too kind for her own good.

“Goro... oh my god.” She breathed against him and he tightened his grip around her burying his face in her neck, breathing her in deeply. Feelings of peace, serenity, a meaning in his life he had been searching for ever since he escaped the slaughter house of Chiba-11. He thought that meaning was to serve those who had uplifted him from that barbaric place. But they didn’t save him. They used him.

It was this tiny trembling powerhouse of a woman that barrel assed her way into his life and irrevocably entangled herself with him, she had been the one who reignited his purpose. Opened his eyes and never lied to him. She had never left him behind. Only when she thought he was truly beyond her reach did she finally resign herself to letting him go.

But now, in the security of her arms, he knew he was never going to let that happen again.

“I can’t believe I finally found you...” he breathed, letting the feeling of her arms around him be engraved deeply in his heart, the lines on his face began slowly relaxing as he stroked the dip of her back gently.

V finally looked up at him and he swiped away some stray tears from her slightly flushed cheeks with a curled finger before caressing them in his hand fully. He stared down at her with an adoration she had never imagined him capable of, it felt to her as though she had never been truly seen before now and could only grasp his outstretched arm and reach for the back of his head pulling his face closer to hers when he finally moved forward, reuniting her lips with his in a passionate kiss. Her fingertips grazed over his jaw lightly, drawing a sigh from him and letting it meld into the kiss as he tried desperately to hold her closer.

She pulled back from him but his lips trailed after hers again, loathed to be parted from her just yet, but she placed two fingers on his lips to halt his pursuit and worry shot through him again.

“I think we should explain to the clan before Saul comes in here and decks you.” She chuckled, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek sweetly and he leaned into her touch, the sudden panic receeding, before smiling back at her and nodding. She made to move to the door, hand already pulling the handle open when his own grasped her free one and interlaced their fingers, grinning like a cat down at her.

“So they don’t shoot me on sight.” He joked, V could only huff lightly but her own smirk betrayed her feigned annoyance.

“Hush. Be nice.” She snipped.

They stepped out of the trailer and at the bottom of the stairs to the trailer was the holy Aldecaldos trinity themselves. Panam looked between the two and their interlock hands with mild confusion first before realisation dawned on her and she mouthed ‘that’s him?’ rather more obviously than she thought she had but never the less winked at friend.

Goro looked down at her curiously but V just shook her head.

“She’ll tell you herself at some point.” V whispered, leaving him far more confounded than before.

“So? What’s this about?” Saul stood in front of them now arms crossed but glaring heatedly at Takemura.

“Drop the tough guy act Saul come on.” She shoved him playfully but Saul only scowled deeper. “He defected.” Saul’s eyebrows rose in surprise for a moment but suspicion reaffirmed itself at the forefront of his mind once more.

“Bullshit.” Saul spat.

“I left Arasaka because I no longer believe in them.” He looked down at V’s hand in his and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I believe in V. And she has put her trust in you and your clan. I wish to stay with her. You know that... she does not have long.” She squeezed him

back at this, hearing the slight waiver in his voice at that but he continued. “I will work, I will do whatever is needed of me in order to stay by her side.” He bowed his head politely and Saul was at a loss for words, casting his gaze back to Panam and Mitch but only receiving a tired sigh and a shrug from Mitch and a rather heated scowl from Panam that said ‘if you don’t let the ninja stay I’m going go get an emp and blast an AV out of the sky again’, and Saul could only sigh tiredly. He rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm in a gesture of defeat but his eyes spoke an understanding and no inherent objection to the arrangement.

“Alright. You work, like the rest of us. We all pull our own weight here and there’s plenty to do.” Panam fist pumped in the air and squealed with glee, making V laugh at her antics but Saul gave her an exhausted look before grinning devilishly. “ Since there’s another mouth to feed and person to arm, we’re gonna need to do a recount on inventory. Thanks for offering to do it Panam.” Saul rounded on his heel, making for his own tent as the orange pink swash of dusk settled over the desert. Mitch followed after while Panam gave her a quick pat on the shoulder before departing to her new hell, inventory.

“Look at you guys, just the picturesque happy couple living on the edge of the law, running with nomads, being all in love and shit. Warms my cold dead pixilated heart.” Johnny drawled as he leaned up against the trailer.

V chose to ignore him but grinned Takemura wrapped his free arm around her and rested his head atop hers as he rubbed loving circles into the small of her back, she sighed into his chest and grinned like a fool. Nothing was going to bring her mood down. Not raffen, not Johnny, not the broken to shit solar panels.

She groaned suddenly at the memory of her ever growing list of chores left.

“V?” He questioned, straining his neck down to see her.

“Fucking solar grid.” She hissed ruefully into his shoulder before pulling away.

“I’ve got some solar panels to fix and a carburettor to solder before the day is over.” She groaned, but Takemura squeezed her reassuringly.

“Lead the way.” He chuckled.

“You want to help?” She asked incredulously.

He brushed his hand through her soft chocolate brown coloured locks, twirling the tail ends around her shoulders between his thumb and index. He had a feeling his new unconscious obsession was going to be her hair.

“I’m going to have to learn aren’t I?” He chuckled. “And I have a feeling I’m going to like being your student. Lead on, sensei.”

She giggled before pulling away from him, hands still interlaced as she tugged him towards the solar panels on the far side of camp.

—————

“Welcome to solar grid maintenance 101, class is in session.” She announced.

Goro sat on a rock beside the van, next to the start of the solar grid that went from the back of the van to the further reaches of the edge of their camp, with a small group of four guarding the grid perimeter at all times. He noticed a few of them giving him wary or curious looks but did his best to ignore them. He was sure in time he would seem less threatening but he knew he would only achieve this through time, example and not relying only on shows of good faith. He leaned forward, arms resting against his knees, watching as she peeled back a flexible plastic covering over the front of the panel, uncovering a plated and wired grid he assumed is what absorbed power from the Sun.

“Ok, so. You need a fully wired and calibrated solar panel, batteries, a charge controller and an inverter.” She gestured to each item in front of her. “Once you have these it’s just a matter of following instructions. Then you gotta figure out what your output is gonna be, simply calculate watt hours by using each of the electric tools and machinery’s power ratings, multiplied by the time in hours it will be running...” He continued to listen to her intently, taking mental notes as she went on and was pleasantly surprised by how much she knew. The woman was practically a walking, talking encyclopaedia for off grid living.

He imagined she had learned this with her original nomad clan.

“And... vóila!” The grid hummed to life, the electrical tickering and slight glow from the panels confirmed this. “And tomorrow you’re gonna help me dismantle, clean and stow them.” She slowly rose from her kneeling position but wobbled a bit, Takemura’s lightning fast reflexes kicked into action and he reached out to stabilise her. She gave him a sheepish yet thankful smile.

“Are you-?”

“Just light headed, I stood up to fast.” His levelled gaze cut through her, narrowed eyes studying her intently. “And we’ve been sitting in the sun for an hour. I’d say I could go for something to eat though. Haven’t had anything since last night come to think of it.” She pulled away, attempting to move away from the subject of her health as quickly as she could, but her hand stayed resting open palmed against his chest as she stared almost through him. She still couldn’t believe he was here. Standing next to her in the flesh. She couldn’t even really fathom eating right now but she knew she had to at least try to keep her strength up. But fucking damn. Of all the ways this day was going to go, this was certainly not one of them, not that she was complaining.

His finger captured her chin and tilted her gaze to his, pulling her from her thoughts as if he could sense her inner turmoil.

“What is the expression, ‘I am here for the...’ ah.” He looked up to think an moment as if the phrase was written in the sky before seemingly finding it among the clouds and looking back down at her, grinning from ear to ear. “‘I am... ‘In this for the long haul’, as you say.” She snorted a laugh at him letting her head fall foreword against him as he pulled her further into his embrace. “So stop looking at me as if I’m going to suddenly disappear.” Her fingers squeezed his in response and she looked up resting her chin on his shoulder now.

“Promise?” She whispered, making his chest rumble in laughter.

“Yakusoku.” He affirmed before kissing her forehead loving.

————————————

They had eaten their fill of some synth beef chilli at the camps mess tent and Goro wasn’t about to disclose how much he had actually enjoyed the hot meal. Wandering around in the desert for a week he had been living off of whatever least expired protein bars and soda cans he could find, which had been almost as awful as the scop burgers and noodles in night city, but at least they had been some way warm.

They had made their way to V’s tent which was set up next to her Thorton and some work benches and a trailer with two bikes standing in it. He recognise one to be her beloved Arch and the other a gold and silver heavy terrain 700cc bike with the clans name spray painted boldly along the side of it.

“Here we are. Home sweet home I guess. For now.” She sighed, flopping down into her large sleeping cot with a heavy plop. Takemura stood awkwardly for a moment before fastening the entrance flap closed. There was a fold up chair and two electric lamps illuminating the small space. He suddenly felt out of place but V was quick to pick up on his uncharacteristic fidgeting, giving him an inquisitive glance.

“Cot’s a bit small but we can manage for tonight. Or there’s another cot in storage we can go and-.” Takemura shook his head.

“We can manage.” He grinned sheepishly and she giggled at him, taking a seat on the edge of the cot, patting the spot next to her as an invitation to join her. He took two long strides and he was at her side once again, his hand snaking around her waist as he leaned his head gently on her shoulder. Leaning into him, V interlaced their free hands together, marvelling at how well they fit together.

“You must be exhausted.” She sighed, extending her hand to his face where she swiped away a errant few strands of silver hair that escaped his otherwise well kept topknot, her cool fingers a welcome sensation against his forehead.

“Not really.” He stifled a yawn and she looked up at him pointedly, his own gaze eluding her.

“Evidently.” She chuckled, but a sudden flash of inspiration hit her and she grinned up at him.

“What are you doing?” He asked warily as she began to slink herself around to kneel in front of him, her hands running up and down his thighs in a firm yet teasing trail.

“Well we do have a lot to do in the morning and you require a good nights sleep for what’s coming.” He eyed her suspiciously but couldn’t help the small grin threatening to tug at the corner of his lips. “Couldn’t possibly let you lie awake all night and screw yourself over tomorrow.” She ran her hand over the growing bulge at the apex of his legs, which he opened wider as she settled between them.

“V...” he breathed his head beginning to loll back and eyes flutter closed, his breath hitching she she unzipped him and pulled him of the confines of his suit pants, his member springing free, already fully hard. She gave him some light pumps, enclosing her fist around as much of him as she could. He wasn’t a monster in size, but impressive.

“Speaking of impressive cocks.” Johnny’s voice pierced her mind and she wanted to scream. “Can we leave mine out of this. Please, if yourself gonna fuck the corpo grandpa just take a fucking omega blocker so I don’t have to as well.” She shook her head and sighed, pulling away from Goro.

His eyes fluttered open.

“Is something wrong?” He breathed.

“Just gotta take something before I forget.” She smiled back at him reassuringly before popping two of the red pills.

She turned back to him and something about seeing him sitting there, disheveled clothes, cock standing to attention, lips parted and panting lightly in anticipation, sent a rush of some indescribable feeling through her system. He watched her hungrily but patient in his pining, she couldn’t help the heat between her own legs beginning to rise. She locked their gaze, lips still curved into her signature teasing grin and she began to pull off her tank top painfully slowly, dragging it up to her chest. He watched her relieve her body of the sweat and dirt stained cloth throwing it over her head and groaned lowly when he saw she wasn’t wearing anything underneath save for her tattooed flesh. Lotus flowers bloomed colourfully at her shoulders, and just between her pert little breasts. He traced them with his eyes and felt his body tense in suspense as she saunter toward him, a sultry sway in her hips saying she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She sank down to her knees again before him, her fingers wrapping around his still hard manhood making him hiss at the contact before a strangled gasp tore from his throat as she resumed pumping him again. He reached out his hand to touch her but she slapped him away lightly.

“Ah, ah, ah.” She wagged her finger tauntingly at him, then running them down his chest back down to curl back around his member, giving him a tug that made him groan once more. “Look. Don’t touch.” She then began to lower her lips to him, his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head as she encased him in her warm pink lips, her devilish tongue flicking along the sensitive underside of his cock. He moaned louder as she moved against him but forced his hand over his mouth to stifle himself. They weren’t alone out here so he had to remember to control his vocalisations but she was not making it easy.

He leaned back further down on his elbows watching her intently through hooded eyes as she devoured him, her mouth sinking down slowly, taking him all the way to the hilt letting him hit the back of her throat with an audible gag that made him whine in need then gliding back up, dragging her lips back to the tip, letting her tongue swirl around him a few times before swallowing him once again. He struggled against his urge to fist his hands into her hair as she kept up her ministrations, fearing she’d stop what she was doing, because what she was doing was so fucking good he thought he was going to die if she didn’t finish.

“V... please I’m going to....” he gasped, one hand stretched out behind him as he bit the knuckle of his other hand to surpress his cries.

He felt her chuckle against him, his end so close he could practically taste it as she continued to bob energetically against him. A few more pumps and he had to bite his knuckle so hard he drew blood so as not to roar from the force of his climax, blowing his load in her mouth which she swallowed it readily. He swore he saw stars for a moment, a blinding light show all of his own as he rode the high for as long as he could until he fell back against the cot, attempting to catch his breath as V released him from her mouth with a faint pop.

She pulled herself up and crawled over him, resting her chin against his chest that now rose and fell erratically from his ragged breathing, waiting there patiently for it to even. He lifted his head to look at her, small beads of sweat clinging to his forehead but a stupidly pleased grin now plastered his face as he lifted a hand to caress her cheek and stroked her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb tenderly. He held her there for a moment, unsure if it was the aftermath of his climax or the low lighting of the tent, but to him, right now in all her dishevelment, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld. He dragged her up to him, lips meeting hers at last, tasting her felt like home, regardless of the lingering taste of himself on her lips. Goro pulled her closer to deepen the kiss before pulling away to gaze at her agin. She was the one panting now, her full pink lips, that had only a few moments been driving him to near insanity were parting enough for him so see her devilishly nimble tongue and the flush dusting her cheeks was starting to do things he didn’t know could be done, his member already twitching to life again, slowly but surely.

“You feeling more relaxed then?” Her laugh, like a tinkling bell, brought his attention back into the room and he could only smirk down at her slyly.

“Partially.” He lifted himself up fully wrapping his arms around her then flipping them so she was trapped underneath him. “But I’m afraid I’m more awake now than I was before.” He whispered, lowering his lips to suckled at her collarbone where he began to trail a searing line of bites and kisses down her chest, stopping to tease her nipples as he lavished them thoroughly, leaving her shivering and gasping uncontrollably beneath him. “The opposite of the desired effect I think.” He chuckled lowly, lifting his hand to her mouth and clamping firmly over it to quieten her mewls while he began to drag the fingers of his other hand up to the bottom half of her netrunner jumpsuit. Untying the sleeves he pulled the zipper further down to the end. It reached just above her mound, a few more inches on the zip and he’d have been able to access her. Shame, he though but immediately tugged the skintight nano plastic material down over her hips, her purple thong coming with it. He didn’t pull it all the way down, allowing the material to bunch at her knees before pulling back, letting both her legs stretch up to rest against his shoulder as he stared down at her, a shit eating grin breaking over his lips as he soaked in the sight of her, trapped in his web. She huffed at him in mild displeasure at the loss of control but her eyes widened when she felt his fingers trace her slit softly. His arm curled around her legs, anchoring them against him as he continued to tease her.

“What are you-?” He silenced her with two fingers plunging inside her, making her arch her back as she barely managed to stifle a moan. He thrust his fingers into her wetness again and again, all while his gaze fixed on her face, contorted by pleasure as he took delight in her every twitch and convulsion.

He let another finger enter her, curling them, tickling a sensitive collection of nerves inside her. Her juices dripped down his hand, his attention switching down to where his fingers pumped relentlessly and he felt himself moan at the sight of her absolutely soaking his hand. He felt his cock strain against her thigh but he ignored his growing need. He had work to do. She nearly cried out when he stopped, her eyes finally fluttered open to see him gazing down at her, smirking triumphantly above her.

“Hey.” She pouted, wiggling against him only making him chuckle quietly.

He pulled her legs free finally, tossing the jumpsuit to the far corner of the tent but trailing his hands from the underside of her thighs, to the under side of her ankles, yanking up sharply which pulled her further down the cot so her ass now rested on his lap. Her ground himself against her, his free member brushing against her slit as he draped each of her legs against either shoulder. He leaned foreword her legs stretching to rest nearly by her ears with how flexible she was. Without warning he entered her, both of them gasping quietly. He filled her so completely, V let the feeling wash over her until he began moving at an achingly slow pace. He found purchase at the head of the cot, using it to drive himself harder and harder into her. Reaching up she caressed his head in her hands, his eyes closing at the contact, savouring it, then opening again to see her.

His breath hitched in his throat, not just at the majesty of her wild curls fanned out and framing her so perfectly. Not at her being stretched and splayed out for him, like a cover pin up they used to sneak into the army barracks, back when he did foolish brazen things like that, no. The trust in her eyes. She was letting him take control, letting him take her, however he wanted. She wasn’t scanning the room for the nearest viable exit like she did in every room or so far away in her mind he wondered if she could even hear him above the noise of the engram erasing her. She was right here, willing and ready for him. He wasn’t going to last long, not after already climaxing earlier but he refused to leave her hanging, letting his thumb roll her clit firmly, over and over. He leaned forward to swallow her cries as she came undone beneath him, his own release coming not to far behind her.

He leaned back, letting her legs down on either side of his hips, but stayed connect with her. He leaned back into her, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, her nose then her lips, making her smile sleepily against him.

“You’re still in your clothes.” She taunted against his shoulder as he chuckled.

“It’s hard to think about anything clearly with you around.” He mumbled against her neck.

“Hey, don’t you dare fall asleep on me dickhead.” She snorted, poking him enough to make him groan then move to the side, allowing her to stand up from the cot. She walked over to a duffel bag where she pulled a loose white shirt from and threw it on. The fabric reached her knees and he scoffed at how small she was.

“Oi, no sand in my bed, get those dusters off.” She ordered and he sighed, pulling himself from his bliss to shed his coat and other garments leaving him only in his boxers. He fell back into the cot heavily, rubbing his eyes as a yawn escaped his lips. She rejoined him, crawling and moulding herself into his side while his arms immediately snaked around her as he buried her face into the crook of her neck, V stroking his hair soothingly.

For the first time in what felt like forever, he went to sleep without knowing where he was going to be tomorrow and not caring in the slightest.

#goro takemura #cyberpunk 2077 #takemura x v #goro takemura x v #goro x v #takemura goro x v #takemura goro #the sun #search for the sun

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jennyhoyt · 3 years ago

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first line tag

rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

I have 17 total published fics between ao3 and ffnet. Some of these are so old this is going to be humiliating :’)

Tagged by my son @thatiranianphantom

1. “Cassie tries to quietly start the car. She looks over at Jenny who she’s sure dozed off by now, her head slumped against the cold car window with her hood up to provide some sort of barrier against the temperature. The higher elevations in January were unforgiving, and this was one of the most miserable stakeouts they’d ever been on, and they’ve resorted to running the car for just a few minutes every half hour so as to not draw attention to themselves. Miserable.”

-Gunfighter

2. “It starts with an undercover mission.Or, it starts with Jenny getting rear-ended and Cassie having to take this one instead. “I was just told to take it easy,” Jenny follows Cassie to the back of the office, “I’m fine.” “Mhm,” Cassie nods, “I don’t believe you will.” Jenny purses her lips and nods. Maybe.”

-Envy Slays the Strong-Willed

3. ““Don’t be mad” Cassie starts when Jenny picks up the phone, she sounds overly serious. In fact so overly-serious that Jenny can’t help but laugh on the other end.“Okay,” she responds, trying to hide her laughter. Cassie sighs heavily again and Jenny can barely hide her response. She knows Cassie's tendency to seriously understate major things, and get very concerned about minor things, and deduces that this is a minor thing, “what is it?” Jenny asks lightly.“My dad set me up on a date,”

-Imperfect Solution

4. “Shaw understands grief at a fundamental level. She understand why it happens, and she even understands the necessity of it for others. People seem so bonded to each other, from what she has observed, and broken bonds need repair.”

-Into Light

5. “‘Damn kids and their stupid games’ Shaw thinks, her run in with college students leaving her feeling strangely violated and wishing she could have kicked all their asses right there in lobby.”

-Smash or Pass

6. “"If you could have one wish, son, what would it be?" Walternate's voice was cold. The question was not a conversation starter, nor a way to simply get to know his son. It was interrogation.”

-Threshold

7. “The words 'Walter' and 'babysitting' should really never be in the same sentence.”

-Come and Gone

8. “Olivia really couldn't figure out how she got suckered into an investigation a week and half before her due date.”

-There’s a Light in Your Eyes

9. “After their reunion it took all but about a second for every proactive instinct to come over him again, at full force. He had no control over it. He was her father, after all.Of course, more often than not, those instincts were triggered by danger, or impending death.”

-How Time Goes By

10. “Moo.”

-Bovine Mind

11. “"So you're telling me you didn't have birthday cake as a kid?" Peter inquired in half dismay, laughing."No, I never said that." Olivia laughed, "I just said I didn't like it… why are we even discussing this?"”

-Sugar Coated

12. “"So, this sucks." Tyler said, half sarcastically."Does it?" Candace questioned.”

-Now You Know

13. “The sun was just setting in the sky. One of the most beautiful days in a while that the two could remember. Jamie was inside, most likely watching television, and Riley was probably in her room,enjoying the last bouts of her day before it was time for bed. The two of them took great advantage of the peace, it couldn't have been more perfect.”

-Tea and Honey

14. “He rolled over onto his back, feeling the warm presence beside him. Her long brown hair lay across the pillow. She felt his eyes on her.”

-Our Name in the Sand

15. “Have you ever thought of a certain point of your life and wondered, 'How'd I get here, what got me here, and what happened in between?' Or do we even remember what happened in between? Sometimes it all comes together as one big event, and no matter how long it took, feels like it just began.”

-Every Wish Granted

16. “"Mommy, why can't you come tonight?" A small voice asked sadly."I have to work last minute, I am so so sorry, Anna boo. But I promise I will be there tomorrow, besides, your daddy and uncle Nathan are gonna be there for you tonight." Peyton comforted her daughter.”

-Her World

17. “Peyton stared out the fogged up window in the living room, the soft snow falling to the ground, creating just a blanket outside, and hearing nothing but peace. It didn't snow that often in Tree Hill, But when it did, it always amazed her. She never knew why it appealed to her so much, but she always thought it was the peace.”

-When Our Love Brought Peace

~*~* BONUS ROUND of my unpublished manuscripts ~*~*

18* “Jenny puts her phone down on the counter, eyes narrowed in confusion at a knock at her door. She’d just been texting Cassie a minute ago, so who was here?She internally kicks herself when she sees Denise at her door, she opens it to find the woman holding a thick folder, granted, one that she had asked her to bring by.”

-title in progress lmao

19* “The tragedy of their lives wasn't where that initial draw came from. In their world, who wasn't haunted by loss and grief? That draw wasn't even there when he'd met her. At least at first. It developed first with a touch of guilt, intimidated by age. It was one sided though, because she would never let herself be intimidated by him. Or anyone, really. Her intimidation came from moments that would catch her off guard. Sometimes he would, bump against her accidentally and she would curse at herself for the feeling it stirred inside her.”

-Safehouse

I tag whoever has written anything ever and wants to do this. :) I just wanted to embarrass myself today I guess.

#what a humbling experience #if you ever read anything prior to threshold #no u didn't #i deleted a lot of my fringe fic and kind of regret it now but #we go on

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thewayshedreamed · 4 years ago

Text

This Time— Part 6

A Nessian Fan Fic

Fic Masterlist

This chapter offers some additional insight into Nesta’s thought process and sheds a little light on the ongoing process her emotional development has become. I hope it comes through!

This is somewhat of a “building” chapter so that we can get Nessian to the crest, so to speak. Part 7 is already written and only needs some editing, so it’s possible that I’ll be doing a double update today ☺️ They certainly have a lot to discuss, and once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. 😂 Anyway, enough of me. Enjoy!

Links to the previous parts:

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 ||

Warnings for grief related to the loss of a parent and some strong language.

——————————————————————————

Around 11:00 PM, Nesta decided she couldn’t be alone with her thoughts anymore. She was ruminating on similar memories and effectively raking herself over the coals. Although she knew any one of her friends would be there for her no matter the time of day, she picked up her phone to call the one she knew would most likely be awake at this hour.

“Hello?” Azriel’s raspy voice came through the phone.

“Were you asleep?! Since when do you go to bed early?” Her surprise was obvious by her tone. What the hell? He’s never in bed before midnight.

“Nes. Always a pleasure.” Azriel breathed a chuckle into the phone. “I usually wouldn’t be. I’m.. umm.. at a friend’s house tonight.”

Nesta gasped and dropped her voice. “Oh my gods. Az, were you on a date?! Am I interrupting?” She clapped her free hand over her forehead. “I’m the worst. I’m sorry.”

Another chuckle from Azriel. “You don’t have to whisper, you know. She can’t hear you. You’re not interrupting anything. I was asleep when you called, but I’m out on the couch now. What’s up?”

”If you were asleep, then that counts as interrupting! Are you sure?”

”Yes. Just, maybe the short version?” His tone was tentative, almost as if he felt guilty asking her to keep it concise at 11 PM. No one truly deserved Azriel as their friend.

“I can do that. So, here it is. I’ll save you the long, tedious trip through my brain.” She paused for half a second to take a breath. “I’m in love with Cassian.” She let out a quiet groan for effect.

”Mhmm...” The lilting of his voice implied that he was waiting for something like the punchline of a joke; the unknown part of her statement.

Her breath caught. “I kind of expected more of a reaction.”

”Did you? I thought there was more to it.” He seemed entirely neutral in that grating way of his.

”How did you know?!” She asked, incredulously.

”You told me.”

“Mm.. I don’t think so. When?” Now she was actually confused. Did she make some kind of drunken confession at Rita’s? She would remember having this revelation before now.

“At brunch. When we were driving home.”

”What are you talking about?!” Her voice was definitely higher pitched than it had been previously. She was anxious to hear his response, thinking he had surely dreamed this.

”Nesta. We were in my car, backing out of the parking lot. You asked me, ‘Why couldn’t we be the ones to fall in love?’ Or something along those lines. I thought that you were using some cryptic way of telling me because it implied two parties. Why do you think I hit the brakes so hard?” He seemed impatient, as if he was telling her the most obvious thing in the world.

“I thought maybe the question weirded you out! I didn’t even realize what I said, to be honest. How the actual fuck do you notice tiny things like that?” She didn’t wait on his response. He would know it was rhetorical. “Now my problem is this: I think he’s dating someone, so I’ve lost my chance.” She briefly told him what she had overheard the night of Elain’s birthday, her voice starting to crack toward the end.

”Hm. He hasn’t said anything to me about that, but I could see why he would wait being that you and I are close. But honestly, I don’t know that you could ever lose your chance with Cassian, Nes.”

She didn’t have anything to say to that. She simply sat there, playing with the corner of her throw blanket and hoping he would continue. He seemed to sense her discomfort and started talking again.

“I think you’ll regret it if you don’t talk to him. But, if I can offer my opinion, maybe wait a little while so that you know you’re absolutely sure this is what you want. I don’t know how he would handle it if you decided it’s not what you want.”

She felt herself prickle with defensiveness. “I wouldn’t do that to him, Az. Of course I’m sure. It only took me an eternity to figure this shit out.”

Azriel responded in a soothing tone he so often used with her. “I know. But remember, you’re not the one he talks to about you. I’m just looking out for my brother. Maybe let it marinate, yeah?”

She knew his intentions were pure, and she couldn’t really blame him for being protective. Before she could respond, she heard a feminine voice in the background ask: “Az, everything okay?”

She heard him pull the phone away from his face to answer. “Oh, yeah. All good. It’s Nesta.”

Delayed by her scattered brain and the copious amount of wine, the identity of the voice finally hit her full force.

”IS THAT ELAIN?!” She sat up straighter as if it would allow her to hear them more readily.

She heard Azriel laugh, followed by a shuffling on the other end.

“Hello? Nesta? Everything okay?” Nesta could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

“Hey, El. Everything’s fine! Sorry to crash your date. It seems we have quite a bit to talk about. Very soon.”

It took Elain a couple of seconds to respond, and Nesta could hear the smile in her voice. “Yeah. I think we do. Someone told me I should just talk to him. Turns out that they were right.” She paused, waiting for an “I told you so” from Nesta. She didn’t have the energy. “You know you can talk to me about Cassian, too, right?”

Nesta shut her eyes tightly and shook her head. “Of course. I’m sorry. I’ve been leaning on Az since our fight, and I honestly haven’t had the energy to bring it up beyond that. But I do want to talk to you. And Feyre. It’s just been...hard.”

“I can imagine. It’s hard to remember a time before you and Cass. It’s like the end of an era or something. Just know that we’re here.” Her voice was soft, laced with worry and a desire to help her older sister.

”Maybe for now,” Nesta teased, “but you may not have much time to chat these days.”

She knew she was blatantly deflecting, but El’s words had caused tears to prick her eyes yet again. It’s hard to remember a time before you and Cass. She realized how true it was, and what upset her the most was that she knew she didn’t want to know a time without Cassian.

The call wrapped up with more gentle teasing between the sisters, and eventually, embarrassing Azriel a bit over speakerphone. She told them she loved them and promised to keep them updated on how she was feeling. Her heart felt lighter once she finally ended the call, thanks to the laughter they managed to pull from her.

——————————————————————————

Christine Archeron’s death anniversary fell on a Tuesday that year, and Nesta awoke with a similar irritation as last year— death anniversaries should never fall on weekdays. She went through the familiar motions as any other morning, headed to work, and concentrated on her various tasks she was expected to juggle at any given time. As appearances went, it looked like any other ordinary day to those around her, so the extra heaviness remained hers alone to carry.

On her lunch break, she got a chance to pull her phone to check her messages and mindlessly scroll through social media. She had been focused on scrolling for so long that her phone took her by surprise when it vibrated in her hand. She tapped the notification by reflex and found herself studying the sender’s name as if it was some sort of mistake.

Cassian: Thinking about you today. I know it’s a rough one. Keep your head up. Christine would have it no other way ❤️

Nesta read the text several times in a row; just to make sure it was real. It had been so long since he’d contacted her intentionally, and it made her happy that he still thought to reach out today. It simultaneously made her a little sad; however, because it was yet another reminder of what she’d lost in him. That was an issue to deal with later.

Nesta: Of course you are, because you’re the perfect human, and I don’t deserve you. Thanks, Cass 💕 Means the world to me to hear from you. Mom really loved you, and I know she would appreciate you looking out for us.

She hesitated over the send button for several seconds before deciding to go through with it. It felt so weird to intentionally script any type of message to him being that they had spent most of their relationship entirely uncensored. Everything about it felt wrong— she couldn’t act natural with him because it wasn’t appropriate anymore, yet she didn’t feel right having to draft and redraft their communication. It was all so fucked, and she was tired of this odd limbo they stayed in.

She reflected on her conversation with Azriel and Elain on the night she had unintentionally crashed their date. She knew that they both held strong points about her situation and wouldn’t advise her to try to repair things if they knew it was a lost cause. She acknowledged that Azriel, specifically, knew more than he was at liberty to tell her. That being the case, she decided that was evidence in favor of hashing things out with Cassian. It wasn’t long before she was lost in her own thoughts, her food entirely forgotten.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to ensure I didn’t need anyone. I never wanted to depend heavily on another person in a way that I couldn’t manage on my own. But that’s not really the case anyway, right? I’ve managed fine these few weeks, but that’s the thing. I’ve managed. Why do I try to insist that’s enough for me?

But what if the door is closed? What if this was Cassian’s final push, and he’s gone? I don’t know Alis, and she could be wonderful. She probably appreciates the shit out of him and saw immediately that he’s not the average person. She probably knows how special he is. She probably beams anytime he enters a room and tries to take care of his heart in any way she can. She’s probably fucking delightful.

But does that really compete with history? I guess if that history is filled with turmoil, it could. She’ll never know the Cassian that was a freshman in high school— braces and curly hair, still a head taller than most of the other boys in class. She won’t remember how he hit his second growth spurt the summer after sophomore year, where he started to fill out and caught the attention of any girl with a pulse. She doesn’t know what it’s like when he’s truly angry with his dad and the world. She doesn’t know the full range of his eclectic music tastes or the guilty pleasures he sings depending on his mood. She didn’t do the leg work to reconcile the tough, intimidating exterior when he gets upset with the gentle soul beneath. There’s no way she knows when his humor and his laughter are distractions from his pain rather than when they’re genuine. She can’t love him like I do. Im-fucking-possible.

She was pulled abruptly out of her head, and incredible jealousy, by her alarm. It was time to go back to work and finish out the day, and she hoped it passed as quickly as possible. She silently chastised herself for piling this emotional time bomb on today of all days as she threw away her lunch and walked out of the break room.

So much for leaving this issue for later.

She resolved to put all of these thoughts back into their little box until she had the emotional energy to open the lid once again. Whenever the hell that would be.

——————————————————————————

The rest of the day zoomed by at a blissful pace, thank the gods. In fact, when Nesta glanced at the clock, she realized it was several minutes after 5:00 PM. She clocked out, grabbed her things, and climbed into her car. She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to make the drive out to the cemetery. She wasn’t sure what time Elain had been able to go by, but Nesta had agreed to meet Feyre at 5:30 to pay their respects. It was becoming a standing tradition, where they would make their short visit whenever they could during the day and follow with dinner together as a family.

She made it with a few minutes to spare, so she took that time to sit with her mom one-on-one. She gave her a brief update on her life, told her how much she loved and missed her, and gently brushed any leaves or grass clippings off of her headstone. There were fresh flowers in her vase, something she noted each year on her death anniversary. Any other time of year, they kept seasonally appropriate faux flowers to make sure her site was properly decorated. She made a mental note to offer to contribute to the fresh arrangement in the years following when she saw her family at dinner. They were always taken care of before she made it out to the cemetery, and she didn’t want to risk forgetting for the next year. She leaned into the arrangement, taking in the various floral scents emanating from the blooms in the bouquet. There was a myriad of vivid colors, wildflowers throughout, and Nesta loved how true to her mother’s spirit they were.

She turned when she heard car doors and saw Feyre approaching with Rhysand. She stood, extending an arm out to her baby sister, who accepted it readily and rested her head on her shoulder. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Rhysand stood nearby, resting his hand on Feyre’s opposite shoulder. They stood together for several minutes until Nesta excused herself to allow Feyre some time alone with their mom as well.

She drove to her father’s house where she found Elain already setting the table for dinner. They worked together quietly, making sure they had plenty of place settings for everyone. Azriel offered his help to carry various dishes of food to the dining table and took his seat next to Elain once it was all settled. Almost as if on cue, Feyre and Rhysand walked into the house and took their seats as well. The dinner started off quiet considering the somber mood, but Feyre was the first to break the tension when she started to tell stories from their childhood. In a matter of moments, their home was filled with animated story telling and loud bouts of laughter, and Nesta couldn’t think of a better way to honor her mom’s love of life.

As everyone finished up, she suddenly remembered her mental note from earlier. She waited for a natural lull in conversation, then commented softly, “Mom’s flowers were beautiful, you guys. You did an amazing job.”

”They were really perfect. They couldn’t have been more ‘Christine’ if you tried,” Feyre remarked.

“Elain, Dad. I’m not sure which of you took care of them this year, but would you let me take care of next time? I haven’t contributed since she passed, and I’d really like to.”

Mr. Archeron softly shook his head back and forth, communicating to Nesta that it hadn’t been him. Nesta adjusted her gaze to Elain who looked just as confused.

“Oh. Nes, I assumed it was one of you. I didn’t... I didn’t order them. I wished I had.” She looked down at her hands, and Azriel placed a supportive arm across the back of her chair.

“Okay... so who did?” She glanced around the table from person to person, but no one took any credit. It was Rhys who spoke up first, clearing his throat to master his voice.

“You don’t know?”

”Obviously.” She looked to Feyre for support. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Feyre said nothing, watching Rhysand talk with rapt attention.

When he spoke again, it was cautious, as if his words may startle her. “Nesta. The flowers are from Cassian. He’s done them every year since Mrs. Christine died.”

She was suddenly short of breath. Everyone’s attention snapped to Rhys, including her father’s. Her sisters and Azriel were looking at Rhysand with stunned expressions, their eyes flicking to her face occasionally.

“What? How could you know— why would you know, when we don’t? What the fuck is going on?” She was falling over her own words, struggling to form any cohesive thought.

”I’m so sorry,” Rhysand glanced around the room for the first time, realizing he had everyone’s attention. “The only reason I knew was because he asked me to make sure they made it from the flower shop to her gravesite the year he had knee surgery. He asked me to keep it to myself then, but I figured by now he would have said something to at least one other person.” He looked down into his plate, various emotions playing over his handsome face. Feyre leaned over to comfort him, knowing he was likely embarrassed to be the reason the air had changed so dramatically.

Nesta’s head was swimming, emotions roiling from a million different directions. She knew anger was cheap and unfair, but she pulled on that tether as hard as she could to make sure she could navigate everything she was processing. She was on her feet suddenly, pushing her chair away from the table and walking toward her keys.

“I have to go.” She couldn’t be in here anymore. The room was too small, the walls were too close. Too many people. She picked up the pace, flinging the door open and shutting it hard behind her. She was down the porch steps when she heard the door open again. Azriel’s voice followed her.

”Nesta. Where are you going? Nesta, stop!” He had jogged lightly to catch up with her, and he tugged her gently by the wrist to stop her. She spun on him quickly, eyes flaring and brimming with tears.

“Anywhere but here! What the fuck was that, Az?”

He said nothing; looked down at his own feet as he shook his head.

“Cassian has some fucking nerve, you know that? Why is he insisting upon himself?” Her voice was lowered and had taken on an almost eerie quality; the calm before the proverbial storm.

“Nes, I don’t think he meant to upset you. It sounds like it’s something he’s made somewhat of a tradition. Maybe he just wanted to be sure and see it through.”

”He doesn’t get to do that anymore, Azriel. He doesn’t get to butt-dial me while he makes date plans with some girl, then turn around and send flowers to my dead mother. What am I supposed to think about that? And how would that make his girlfriend feel?” Azriel pulled her into a hug at that, resting his chin on top of her head. He didn’t answer her. There was nothing to say.

She pulled away from him, gripping her keys, and walked toward her car. “I’m out. Tell them I love them, and I’ll call tomorrow.” She nodded her chin toward the house, climbed into her car, and backed out of the driveway.

——————————————————————————

She wasn’t sure how long she’d driven before she found herself in his driveway. She knew it hadn’t been very long considering the sun was still clinging to the end of the day. She honestly didn’t remember making the conscious decision to come here, likely fueled by anger and muscle memory more than anything else. She was still so frustrated at her situation, her emotions spilling over and refusing to be put into that stupid fucking box anymore. The worst part was that, as mad as she was with him, she so badly wanted to see him. She wished the circumstances were less complicated so that she could knock, ask for a hug and some tea, and lay on his couch. They were a hell of a long way from those people now.

She loosed a breath, puffing her cheeks with air and exhaling slowly. Just before she peeled her head from the headrest to get out, his front door opened. He opened it most of the way, then leaned against the door jamb on his shoulder. He had his hands in the pockets of his sweats and one of his ankles crossed casually over the other. For a moment, she only looked at him, unable to move or offer any type of acknowledgement. She took in the charcoal henley he was wearing, unbuttoned save for the very last one. The small flap of the opening leaned to the side, revealing the base of his neck and the beginning of his tattoos. He looked so very Cassian, casual and laid-back, that she struggled to keep her emotions level at the mere sight of him. His hair was down, looking like he had just run his fingers through it with its deep part and how it fell haphazardly around his face. He was wearing his reading glasses, she noticed, the thick frames highlighting the sharp angle of his cheekbones and the wide set of his jaw. He gave her a soft smile, and cocked his head to the side and back in invitation. She could almost hear him gently telling her to “get in here”.

Too late to turn back now.

——————————————————————————

A/N: Alrighty, hope y’all enjoyed this chapter, even with minimal Nessian. The next chapter(s) will more than make up for it, though! I’m hoping to have max Nessian to y’all ASAP. A million thanks to all of you who continue to follow this au. Your comments/ feedback have meant the world to me!

If you’d like to be tagged, feel free to comment, reblog, or send a message! I’d be happy to add you to the list. If I’ve accidentally left you off or there are issues with your tag, let me know, and I’ll look into it! Comments and constructive criticism are welcome (even encouraged)!

Tags:

@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes // @charincharge // @superspiritfestival // @awesomelena555 // @sleeping-and-books // @hizqueen4life // @maastrash // @bookstantrash // @rhyswhitethorn // @grace-k-sterling // @sayosdreams // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @ladywitchling // @b00kworm // @courtofjurdan

#nessian #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #nesta #cassian #acotar #nessian au #nessian fwb #nessian angst #nessian fanfic #acowar #acomaf #archeron sisters #acotar fanfic #sjm #sarah j maas

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outrebanx · 5 years ago

Text

Dragonfly - Chapter 3

JJ Maybank x female!reader

Summary: Y/N spends a day out on the boat with the pogues, getting into drinking games and competitions

Warnings: some swearing, dodgy grammar

Word count: 2.4k

Catch up: Chapters 1 - 2 -

A/N: I feel like this is a little rushed but I was only free for a little bit this evening and I’m busy all of tomorrow cos it’s my sisters birthday and I wanted to get another chapter written before then - feedback is always appreciated :)

You had woken up relatively early today, you always do when you are anxious or excited about something happening that day - today that was meeting up with Kiara and her friends and going out on the water, and if her friends are as nice and cool as her, that could be considered an almost perfect day in your books. This also meant you were overthinking every little thing this morning, from what bikini you should wear to if you should put make up on and everything in between.

After changing outfits about 10 times, you finally decided on a yellow bikini, which showed off your figure really nicely and made your tan look even darker than it was, with some black shorts and a cropped white vest covering it. You then put on some small hoops, a silver anklet and before heading downstairs, you gripped the dragonfly charm of your necklace and did a silent prayer to your mum, saying hi and that you loved her.

After she had died, this had been part of your everyday morning routine and if you forgot because you were in a rush or just not thinking on that particular day, your whole day felt wrong and out of place, so you kept it up, a way of remembering her and keeping her close to you.

When you got downstairs, your dad had already left, leaving a note on the side saying he had gone out looking for some clients that he could do some plumbing for and to search for more materials for the house repairs. You grabbed a pop tart out of the cupboard and stepped outside to see what damage the hurricane last night had done. It didn’t look awful, there were a few fallen branches littering the outside space, all luckily not hitting any of the windows on the house, or your car for that matter. You then locked up, getting into your car and heading over to the Wreck to meet Kie.

She was waiting outside of the building when you got there, waving when she saw your jeep approach, you quickly parked it before going out to meet her.

“Hey,” you say as you got near her, “I didn’t know whether I should bring any food or drinks? If so I can always run back and get some.”

“No you don’t have to, don’t worry, but hey if the guys like you and this becomes a more common thing, there’s no harm in more drinks.” She laughed, putting you at ease.

“Okay, I’m fine with that,” you began walking down the dock after she grabbed the cooler at her feet, chatting about her friends and what they were like.

“Well they will all probably try and flirt with you, not only because you’re gorgeous,” you blushed at her compliment, “but also because I’m the main girl they hang out with and even though they still say those sort of things to me, I’m very used to them now so its boring them.”

She smiled at you, trying to reassure you, “But don’t worry they’re all really nice and they might have a few issues, but I mean, who doesn’t?”

You laughed, “very true.”

Just as you got to the end of the dock, a boat began approaching, you could just make out the faces of those onboard, one of them you didn’t know, but the other two were John B and JJ. Your stomach did flips when you noticed this, how had you managed to bump into them this many times without trying?

“Oh god,” you muttered under your breath, stepping back slightly, causing Kiara to look at you quizzically, not understanding what had caused you to react like this. At least not until the boat pulled up to the dock and JJ called out to you.

“Hey Y/N, are you stalking us now or something?”

You took a breath before responding, plastering a smile on your face “Well I saw your pretty face once and I just did everything in my power to see it again even getting a job with Kie.”

He laughed at this, holding out his hand to help you onto the boat, “Well I’m glad you went to such lengths,” he leant down towards your ear, “especially because your face isn’t too bad either.”

You rolled your eyes, about to make another remark when Kie interrupted you, “wait you guys know each other?”

“Not really,” John B answered, smiling at you in greeting, which you happily returned before he faced Kie again, “we’ve just bumped into her a few times in the past couple of days, like we helped with her car yesterday and saw her surfing the day before.”

Kie just nodded before looking at you, you just shrugged, showing it was all down to coincidence, but you didn’t mind - this was an acceptable answer for her as she sat down, opening a beer.

The other guy then spoke up, “Well I haven’t met you yet, I’m Pope.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You smiled at him, accepting the beer he handed to you, and going to sit down next to Kie, JJ sat opposite with Pope, whilst John B was at the wheel, steering the boat.

“So, Y/N,” Pope began saying after there had been silence for a few minutes, “they said they met you when you were surfing? Does that mean you’re good at it?”

Before you could answer, JJ spoke up from where he was now lying down, “Oh she’s really good, we saw her do a few tricks out there,” he looked over to you, “which was really hot by the way.”

Beside you Kie muttered “oh my god its only been 5 minutes.”

You tried not to laugh at her reaction and turned to Pope, ignoring JJ for now, “I’ve been surfing for most of my life so I guess that has made me pretty good at it, although there’s still plenty of tricks I can’t do. Do all of you surf then?”

“Yeah, living on island doesn’t make it easy to have other hobbies some of the time, so we all started surfing young as well.” John B said from the wheel.

You all made some small talk for a while, asking about where you’re from, how you’re finding life on the island so far, asking how they all knew each other and other stuff like that to fill the time until you reached your destination.

Eventually, John B stopped the boat, pulled off his shirt and without a word to anyone, jumped into the water. Everyone else took this as their cue to get undressed, you included, Kie and Pope jumping into the water before you had even got your shorts off.

You felt JJ’s eyes on your body once you were just in your bikini, you raised your eyebrows at him, “see anything you like?”

Instead of answering he just smirked at you before turning and jumping into the water where the others were waiting. Ignoring that interaction, and trying to put the thoughts of how good he looked with no shirt out of your head, you jumped in after him.

You had been in the middle of talking to Kie when JJ sent a huge splash of water into you, getting into your mouth and eyes, causing you to swear as you coughed up the water you’d accidentally swallowed.

“You dick! You’re gonna regret that.” You say, laughing slightly as you sent a wave of water his way, too fast for him to dodge it completely.

After that it was an all out war, everyone trying to splash everyone else, laughter and swearing filling the air, you were happy, feeling like you had been friends with these guys a lot longer than half a day. Still wanting to get a more specific revenge on JJ for causing you to swallow water, you submerged yourself completely, quickly moving to where he was treading water, and grabbing his legs and pulling him under with you. He squirmed in shock before relaxing, you let go of his legs and moved towards the surface, laughing as you saw him trying to make an angry face unsuccessfully as he was smiling at your antics.

Wanting to get another drink, you made your way up the side of the boat, even if your ass was in full view to everyone, not that you minded that much, knowing it looked good and that it was a way of teasing JJ. There was something about him that you just couldn’t shake, obviously he was beyond attractive, but so were both John B and Pope, he just intrigued you, his sense of humour was similar to yours but you felt that was only the surface and you wanted to know more about him. Or you could just keep winding him up, which was fun as well.

As you sat there with your beer, the others began getting out of the water for a small break as well, Kie coming onto the boat first, smiling at you, happy that you seemed to fit in with this group really well.

You all sat there, drinking in a comfortable silence, when Pope announced he wanted to play a game or something similar.

“Does anyone have any ideas for what we could do?” Kie asked after everyone agreed to Pope’s idea.

“Uh there’s the usual - like truth or dare, never have I ever, some sort of competition…” John B listed off on his hand

“I’m up for anything, but not sure I want you guys to see how competitive I get when you still don’t know me that well.” You laughed, regretting saying anything when JJ looked up at you, a mischievous smile on his face.

He clapped his hands together, “competition it is then!”

You stuck your middle finger up at him in response, causing him to smirk, you looked away, not wanting to end up smiling at him when you were currently feigning anger at him.

“Okay,” John B started, “what kind of things should we compete in?”

“What about drinking? So like whoever can chug their beer the fastest.” JJ said, seeming confident that he could win, but he was yet to drink with you and you were almost certain you could win this.

“I’m up for that,” you say, then looking over at JJ, “I hope you’re ready to lose pretty boy.”

“Pretty boy?” He scoffed, “Can’t think of a better nickname? And trust me I won’t lose.”

“Thats your nickname until I find one more suited to you at least.”

You turned away from him to listen as Kie laid out the rules, drink as quickly as possible and turn the drink upside down over your head to prove you’ve finished it - she would be judging this one so she handed you all a new beer.

“Okay…go”

The four of you began chugging, the drink easily moving down your throat and you quickly finished, putting the empty bottle over your head, a small drop escaping onto your hair. You turned to see all 3 boys finishing after you, you cheered at your success before addressing JJ, “suck on that Maybank.”

“I would much rather you do the sucking.” He laughed as you playfully hit his arm, slightly shaking your head at him.

“Wow, Y/N,” Pope said, “I think you’re gonna fit in this group quite nicely, even if you can outdrink all of us.”

You smiled at him, not only because of your success, but also because of how he said you were part of the group, and you couldn’t deny you really wanted some great friendships when you moved here - and it looked like you might have found it.

“What else can we do then?” Kie asked.

John B responded, “what about who can do the best jump or dive off the boat?”

There was a groan from Pope at that suggestion, but the others seemed up for it, as you were now dried off from being in the water and you didn’t want to go back in just yet, so you offered to be the judge for this one.

“Afraid you could lose this one?” JJ teased

“No just want to give y’all a chance to win before you start resenting me for how amazing I am.”

He laughed, “whatever you say.”

John B was the first to jump, followed by Kie, then Pope, all trying to seem as impressive as possible, leaving just JJ to jump. Before you could say anything, JJ had picked you up, put you over his shoulder and jumped off the boat, ignoring your protests as you plunged into the water.

The others were laughing as you reemerged from the water, removing yourself mostly from JJ’s grip, ignoring that he still had his hand on your back.

“Well, after that stunt, I think Kie definitely wins.”

She let out a cheer from where she was treading water, the boys all looking at you as if you’d played favourites, but you just held out your hand in an attempt to stop their protests.

You all stayed like that for a little while, just in the water and chatting - from time to time doing another sort of challenge, which you kept winning much to your delight and everyone else’s dismay. Then the day began turning into evening, so you all got back onto the boat and began heading back.

You and Kie were the first to get dropped off, both climbing out of the boat after saying goodbyes to the boys and as they left she turned to you, “well seems like I’ll be seeing you loads with work and you now being part of the pogues.”

“That is alright isn’t it?”

She smiled at you, “Absolutely, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for another girl to come into this group, and you’ll certainly keep us all on our toes, especially JJ.” She smirked at you.

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ve almost never seen JJ lost for words, but he didn’t seem to know what to say to you at times today, and hey by what I know about you, you two would certainly be cute together.”

You laughed, “Nah flirting is one thing, but a relationship isn’t really what I want at the minute, too much stuff to work out.”

She nodded, “Fair enough, anyway I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

“Yep, see you then.” You say, getting into your car before driving away.

The whole way back, you were singing loudly to your music, happy and content after the day you had, and for the first time since your mum died, truly looking forward to tomorrow.

Taglist: @jellyfishbeansontoast @tangledinsparkles @k-k0129 @jjsbxtch @outerbankslove @obx-beach @emerald-xcd @danicarosaline @belledutchess @teamnick

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #jj maybank #pope heyward #john b routledge #kiara carrera #outerbanks fic #obx fic #outer banks #outrebanx #outrebanx dragonfly #jj maybank imagine #jj imagine

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prorevenge · 5 years ago

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Dispatcher refuses to send van in for maintenance. Gets forced to change my tire while I enjoy dinner on company time.

Hey all. So this is my first story on here that is squarely just a revenge. I honestly think it's a bit more pro than petty, but not really critical enough to go full nuclear, so here I am!

This story is one of how a lowly delivery driver got to royally irk a dispatcher, waste his time, get 4 hours of overtime, meal paid for, and a free beer. TL;DR below for your pleasure.

So I was a driver for a little company that rhymes with Slamazon. I had been there for several months by this point, and had developed a reputation of being very anal about vehicle maintenance. We aren't talking like washing them or whatnot, but cleaning out urine bottles, fixing broken wiper blades, installing lights to replace the burnt out ones, or other stuff that would indicate you actually remotely care for your driver's wellbeing. (Seriously guys, I had a van once with no working lights of any kind, and the passenger side door fell off its hinges right in front of my dispatchers, and they still sent me out). Needless to say, some trips were better than others, but this particular time, well, it was a doozy.

You see, friends, I was considered a problem driver by some for being obsessed with vehicles being kept road legal. I had not caused any issues other than this. We had dispatchers that were promoted up after a month, and after hitting mailboxes, cars, and other kinds of insanity, but I was always skipped over. This naturally irked me to no end, and I was looking for better within 6 months of starting. (I was there for nearly 2 years)

Naturally, all my requests for the essential equipment and urine bottle removal was denied, so I'd buy bulbs for my van, and pull them out after my route was done so I could put them into the next one the next day, and I chucked piss bottles out on the record. Kinda gross, but better than smelling it in the hot Georgia sun in the middle of summer in a van with sometimes working AC. This nonsense continued for the entirety of my time there, of course. This event however was the first of many times I decided to get back at the dispatchers for messing with my routes, and giving me the worst vans, and so on.

You see, this van had the lights that were bad. Broken AC. Shook like mad. Squeaked. Smelled like piss, and musty taco farts. Door didn't properly lock so anybody could have stole packages from it, and not much could be done. And to top this all off, 4 bad tires. Like, metal bands exposed, and one bulging out in it's death throws. The whole day, I babied this van as best I could. Putting air in the tire a few times, and just barely finished my route with some daylight to spare. So, 10 hours on the road down, and an hour and a half back to the distribution center. I get underway, and get about half way before I felt the tell tail shake of a tire going out.

"Well shit, here we go." I say to myself, and scan my surroundings. I am on the interstate, and not very far from an off ramp. So with what little tire I have left. I limp off the ramp, and to a parking lot which is right next to an Applebees (perfect luck, all things considered). I call dispatch, and give my exact location, and tell them what happened. The conversation goes as thus.

Me-Chucketbucket007, hello, again guys! Dipfuck- Dipshit dispatcher

That's it.

Me- Hey, I got a flat over here at (my location) Dipfuck- What? How? Me- Because you sent me out in a van that needed tires? Dipfuck- Fine, whatever, everyone has gone home, so you are gonna have to wait till I get there. Me- Sure. That's fine. I'll stay clocked in, then. Dipfuck- Uh-huh. You finished your route, so I don't see why you would be on the clock. Me- Because I am still in command of this vehicle, I have the keys, and if you want me to give it back, you are going to keep me on the clock.

I had called the company HR, and explained everything before I called dispatcher, and they ensured me that my time would be recorded.

Dipfuck- ...FINE, I have things to do tonight, so we gotta hurry up.

Perfect. Time to screw with this guy.

After giving him extremely vague directions while I enjoy a steak meal, and a large beer (on the clock, and no fucks given anymore) he finally finds it. I go out there, and see that he has brought the smallest, saddest, most not suitable for the task jack in the center.

Me- Well get to it, you made me leave with this van, and you can change the tire.

Dipfuck- NUH-UH, YOU WERE DRIVING IT, AND..

I interject.

Me- Drivers are not allowed, but company policy to perform repairs to the van. (He had yelled at me previously for doing this with the bulbs) only dispatch, management, maintenance, and the repair shop can repair the van.

So I walk away to finish my meal, while he tries to fix this flat with a jack barely able to lift the front of the vehicle, and needed bricks, and other items to even go high enough. In total, I wasted 4 hours of his time, cost him time to smoke up, and he missed the game that he apparently had money on. I got my meal effectively for free with the hefty overtime I got that week.

And as an extra smackdown, corporate came in, and fired the manager, assistant manager, and this particular dispatcher for failure to maintain the vehicles to DOT standards, and for mismanaging the DSP (delivery service provider) after my lovely chat with HR during the incident. I showed them the text messages, and some of the recorded audio I had taken of dispatcher being a general douchecanoe.

A week later, and we had a temp management comprised of corporate operations that would oversee the vans getting replaced with less shitty ones, training new management, and of course, giving training on what to do if you have a vehicle fail like that, and granting drivers some maintenance permissions.

TL;DR make drivers drive a van that is unfit for service, get nuked by a pissed off driver with little to lose.

(source) story by (/u/Chucketbucket007)

#prorevenge #by /u/Chucketbucket007 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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wheremytwinwatches · 5 years ago

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 6

Road Trip! Since the Elric’s need repairs (mostly Ed, since normally I think he could fix most anything with his Alchemy, but without his arm he can’t do it), they’re off to visit Winry. Let’s get started!

Narrator’s talking about how Scar went after Ed, and how our little baby was ready to accept death (cue heartbreaking shot of Al struggling to get up and stop him), but Colonel Roy Mustang intervened (or rather, Riza saved the Colonel's life and The Mighty Armstrong distracted Scar). The Elric Brothers realized the joy of being alive and were filled with Determination and decide to head home for a patch job. Episode 06: “Road of Hope” About time we had an optimistic episode, these last few have been depressing as all getout. Camera pans over a train-station (what, no [chugga chugga choo choo] caption? You disappoint me, show), Hughes raps on the window to Ed’s car to get his attention. The rest of Eastern Command were tied up with work, so the Lt. Colonel came by in their place. Ed’s grateful, but- YESSSSSSSSS! The post-credits didn’t lie, The Mighty Major Armstrong is indeed “sharing” a bench with Ed. And may I say that the man cleans up nice, that is a snazzy suit. Hughes says that The Mighty Armstrong’s there for protection, in case Scar comes after him again. Ed’s in no shape to fight, and hey that’s a nice touch, showing Ed’s empty sleeve wave around when he takes offense at being called a child. Speaking of, where’s the little brother? Oh. Oh my Leto. You stuck him in a box with the sheep?! Why?! Ok ok, maybe a half-wrecked suit of armor wouldn’t really fit in among the other passengers. But sticking him with livestock? Really? “I thought he might get lonely without a little company. *sparkle*” ...you are just the most peculiar mix of sense and cluelessness, aren’t you Armstrong? I mean, you’re not wrong, but still. Sheep, dude. One final salute between the three, and the train’s off. Away through the picturesque landscape we go, Armstrong reading while Ed takes a nap. The train makes a stop, Ed’s just starting to wake up when Armstrong notices someone walk by the train and crushes Ed in getting out the window. A Doctor Marcoh? Marcoh… does not look very happy to see Armstrong, goes sprinting away. Look, I know the guy can be a bit bombastic sometimes, that’s a bit of an overreaction. Armstrong says that he’s a talented State Alchemist from Central, who was researching into possible medical applications of Alchemy. But after the Ishvalan Civil War, he went missing? Like, he defected, or retired? Ed insists on disembarking, as a doctor might know some useful things about bio-alchemy. Fingers crossed it doesn’t end up like the last bio-alchemist they visited. The State Alchemists are in the city now, seems Armstrong’s the one carting around Al In A Box. They’re looking for Marcoh by showing a picture of the man, one that Armstrong drew? I’m as surprised as Ed that Armstrong’s such a good artist. Strong, a skilled Alchemist, reader, and now an artist? Is there nothing that The Mighty Armstrong cannot do? Ah, of course, “the art of portraiture has been passed down through the Armstrong family for generations.” The townsman they’re questioning says it looks like a Dr. Mauro to him. All the town’s previous doctors got drafted for the Civil War, but afterwards Dr. Mauro came. Further interviews with the townsfolk are all positive, about how he’ll see anyone and heal them with a big flash of light. Sounds like alchemy to me. Ed and Armstrong (and Al, he’s been pretty quiet so far) arrive at a house, Ed goes to knock on the door- What the Leto, dude?! Ed just opened the door, and Marcoh shot at him! He stands there with gun shaking, ranting that he won’t go back, that they’re here to silence him. Armstrong tries to calm him down. Then when that doesn’t work he flattens him with Al’s crate, to Ed’s displeasure. Now the four are sitting around a table, Armstrong’s talking about how when Marcoh left he took top-secret material with him. So he did defect? Marcoh says he couldn't handle it anymore, order or no order to “dirty his hands researching that thing”... What “thing”? Ed has the same question. The Philosopher’s Stone! Houston, we have confirmation that it exists! Marcoh took his research documents, and the stone itself. Does he have it?! Uh, dude? That’s a vial of liquid. You understand the difference between a solid and a liquid, right? Oh. OH. “The Sage’s Stone, The Grand Elixir. The Celestial Stone. The Red Tincture. The Fifth Element” The Stone is supposed to ‘create’ a liquid that grants eternal life, isn’t it? Along with the whole “lead into gold” thing. Nobody ever said that it was a solid, did they? Marcoh’s saying that just as the Stone has many names (Ed, don’t poke it! That’s a highly powerful substance!) it can take on many forms. But it’s not a complete product? Ah, so this liquid is an imperfect Stone, amplifying power but still having a limit. Like Cornello’s Stone, able to amplify his power but still fracturing in the end. Ed seizes on this knowledge, demanding access to the research materials. Marcoh is taken aback, and further shocked when Armstrong explains that his “child” is a State Alchemist. He tries to explain how many State Alchemists turned in their certifications after the War, and now a child… Ed insists that he has no choice, that if it’s a mistake then it’s a mistake that he has to make. Now the doctor’s examining Al, remarking how incredible it was that Ed could transmute Al’s soul. Maybe Ed does have the skills to produce a complete Stone. But still, Marcoh refuses to show his research and continue the Devil’s research. Not even Ed exclaiming that he’s already been through Hell can change the doc’s mind, who finally asks them to leave. Sad faces all around, the three SA’s walking away while Marcoh sits on a bed and thinks over Ed’s last words. At the train station waiting for their ride, Armstrong asks why Ed didn’t take the Stone from the doc, even if it was incomplete. Ed says he wanted it, but he and Al agree that they don’t want it badly enough to deprive the town of their only doctor. Aw, they’ve still got their empathy! And hey, we know now that it’s possible to make different forms of the Stone, the Elrics’ possibilities have expanded considerably. At least some good’s come out of this. And Armstrong’s not going to report back to Central? “I met a simple, small-town doctor today. I can’t see any real reason to report that.” Good for you, Armstrong! Oh hey, Marcoh’s here! And he’s handing over a map to his materials? This day keeps getting better! Doc wishes them luck, hoping that they will be able to restore their bodies. ...ok, what’s the catch? Way too much is going right for our characters. Is Marcoh secretly evil, setting up an ambush with the Goths? Did he already destroy his research out of guilt from the War? Will they find it, only to decipher a recipe for Ovaltine? What’s the catch? According to the note, the research is stored in the National Central Library. That’s not a bad place, one book in what I assume is a huge library would be difficult. But they have a clue now! Marcoh gets home, sighs- aw crap! Lust! I was kidding about a Goth ambush earlier, don’t tell me he actually is working for them! Well. I’m guessing this is the last we’ll see of the poor doctor. Sorry buddy! Now we’re at a familiar house, Automail sign out front. Granny, who I guess is actually Pinako based on the captions but I’ll keep calling Granny, calls for Winry who’s working away at a desk. At a mention of their “best customer”, Winry looks up. Outside, Ed and Al are greeting Granny, who just asks what they’ve done now. A common occurrence, this? Ed introduces the Major as- hey, the dog has an Automail left leg! That’s a neat touch! Armstrong’s shaking hands with Granny, then she steps back and remarks that it’s been a while, but Ed’s gone and grown- smaller. Hah! Still getting in the height jokes, eh Granny? But why would she say something so clearly untrue? Ed starts shouting-

Seems like Ed needs to work on the Five D’s. Here’s Winry! Yelling about how Ed’s supposed to call first when he’s heading back for maintenance. Hey Winry, looking good! Still got the aim from Episode 2 I see. She’s happy to see Ed again, even as Ed grouses about his head.

Uh oh, Winry is no longer happy when she sees the damage to her work. “A little smashed up” is a bit of an understatement, Ed. Winry is shaking in fury over her creation- wow, really Ed? “It’s basically the same; it’s just in smaller pieces.” Yeah, like you’ll be if you don’t stop antagonizing your mechanic, Ed! Winry gives that line the only response she can, and while Ed groans on the floor she asks Al how he’s doing, what trouble they’ve gotten into. Then she goes and kicks the Giant Suit of Armor in the helmet, sending Al down with Ed. Yeah, I gotta agree with you Armstrong. Best to sit quietly and drink your coffee. Granny’s checking Ed over, seems he needs adjustments to his leg too. Cue height teasing from Winry. But the arm’s busted, that’ll have to be built from scratch. Ed asks if it can be done in a week, Granny asks for him to give them some credit, says three days. Three days to build a new mechanical arm? I like this setting! Until then, Ed’ll make do with a spare leg. Winry gripes a little bit about this taking three all-nighters, but says since they need to get to Central ASAP she’ll work her butt off for them! (Aw, Ed’s blushing!) She does expect a fortune in rush order fees. Outside- well, Armstrong appears to subscribe to the Steve Rogers School of Log Splitting.

And we are treated to some magnificent shots of Armstrong at work as Al sits quietly, watching chickens. Taking the wood inside (come on Granny, turn around. You don’t know what you’re missing!), Armstrong asks where Ed’s hanging, seems he’s gone to visit Mama Elric. Shots of peaceful village music and shepherds waving to Ed, as Granny asks the Major what kind of lives the brothers are living. Aw, you guys don’t even send them letters? Come on, stay in better touch with the Rockbells! Armstrong remarks how Ed and Al are well known for their Alchemy, even in Central. And sometimes that gets them in trouble. But they’re strong boys, and Granny agrees. Awwww! It’s a picture of the Baby Blonds! Baby Winry’s dragging a surprised Al and begrudging Ed in for a picture, a smiling Mama Elric and stoic Granny behind them. That’s adorable. Granny goes on to explain to Armstrong that she’s been watching them ever since they were born, as a friend of the family. Their absent father was even a drinking pal of hers! But one day he “up and left the village, abandoning his wife and sons.” Why? Granny doesn’t even know if he’s still alive. (Mysterious Father continues to be Mysterious. And there’s the picture of the Elric family, the dad’s face covered up. Rude.) Then Armstrong asks about Winry’s parents. Ah, so this is how it was done in the manga? We know from Brotherhood’s second episode that they died in the war, but I guess this is when Armstrong learns as the audience surrogate. We do learn that they both were surgeons. Granny mentions that it’s time for supper, overrides Armstrong’s polite refusal by saying that food tastes better with guests, and adding one more person won’t be any inconvenience. Then Armstrong asks about the house that the Elrics grew up in. It’s gone, since- wait, they burned it down? “My guess is they did it because with no house to come home to, there could be no turning back.” Later that night, Ed gets back- GAH! Emotional Armstrong! Moved by the tale of the Elric Brothers, The Mighty Armstrong embraces the poor boy, who struggles to escape as Al, Granny, and Winry look on. “What unyielding love to try and bring your mother back to life! *sparkle* What a tremendous sacrifice to give up your arm in order to transmute your brother’s disembodied soul! *sparkle* What determination to burn down your own house…! To make sure… there was no retreat! *sparkle sparkle sparkle* Come Edward! *strip* Allow me to offer you this comforting embrace!” “Just stay back! Don’t rub your chest on me!” ...stay awesome, Armstrong. Next morning Ed stumbles out of bed to a buzzing sound, sees Winry working away at her table. Ed heads over and compliments her working so hard in the morning- “Been up all night.” Later, heads over saying she must be almost do- “One more all nighter.” Next day, Ed skulks up, looks around curiously until Winry gets fed up and tosses him out. Al, Ed, and Robo-Dog are all outside resting on the grass, Al counseling Ed to be patient while the older brother waves his arm and legs in frustration at knowing there’s a clue out there. Then winry comes out, new arm all ready to go! Inside, Ed’s grimacing while Winry and Granny count down, grits his teeth when the new limbs are attached. Guess it’s painful for the nerves to connect like that. Ed’ll be happy to kiss that pain goodbye when they get the Philosopher’s Stone, Granny says she’ll be sad to lose her biggest source of income. Meanwhile Winry… has an Armstrong Moment over the perfection of her automail. “Crazy gearhead.” “You’re lost without me, alchemy freak.” Mechanical Engineering versus Chemical Engineering! Fight! Ed does some flexes, as Winry talks about how she used a higher percentage of chrome to prevent rusting. Nice, functional and decorative! Although it won’t be quite as strong, so he shouldn’t do anything too crazy- too late Winry, he’s already out the door to fix Al. Armstrong’s asking if Ed can really fix Al right there, Ed says he can do it, but he has to be sure not to mess up the symbol inside the armor that binds Al to it. One hand-clap later, and the Giant Fanged Suit of Armor is good as new! The brothers have a little practice spar, and agree to leave for Central first thing the next day. That night, Ed’s snoring away on the couch, Al griping that he’s sleeping with his stomach out again. Granny jokes that Al’s the older one, to which he just says that someone has to look out for Ed. Winry brings a blanket over, and we get established ages of fourteen for Al and fifteen for Ed. Man, how long has Al been trapped in that armor? So much of his life, stuck in metal. Winry remarks that someone as young and small as Al… can be used as a human weapon. Winry, that’s not funny! That’s depressing! I thought I told you to be funny again, show! Now Al’s formally thanking Winry and Granny, always welcoming them like they’re really family. And Ed may not say it, but he feels the same way. “Granny… Winry… thank you.” Yup, right there with you, Armstrong. Right in the feels. Ed and Al are heading out now, Granny’s there to see them off. Winry’s not, since she’s stayed up three nights in a row. Now that’s dedication to your craft. The State Alchemists make to leave, Granny tells the boys to come back for dinner sometime, and Sleepy Winry waves goodbye from the balcony. Ed turns away and rubs his head before waving back. Say goodbye to Winry directly, you fool! Eh, whatever. I’ll badger him about my ship later. Credits! Aw, that was a sweet episode, nice respite from the downers of the last few. I mean, it wasn’t completely sunshine, I’m pretty sure that Marcoh won’t be making another appearance and we had to revisit the absence of Papa Elric and Winry’s parents. But overall, very nice. And you’ll never hear me complain about more Armstrong. Next time! Wait, nevermind. Back to Sleepy Winry walking down the stairs, complaining that she slept through almost the entire day and now she needs to clean up after human-tornado Ed. Then she finds a screw? “Whoopsy?” Uh oh. Don’t tell me Ed’s gonna lose his arm again next episode? You do realize he’s getting into combat, right? Or does she? I mean, they don’t tell the Rockbells what they’re up to. Now, Next time! “Doctor Marcoh’s notes on the Philosopher’s Stone were indeed in the place he said. But nothing is ever that easy. Unfortunately for the Elrics the Enemy is always one step ahead, leading the boys ever deeper into the maze of “truth within the truth.” Next time, on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood-” Episode 07: “Hidden Truths.” “The only way to reach the destination is to never turn away.”

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranbuis #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 6

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pivitor · 5 years ago

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Emotional Roller-Coaster This Week

So, the last eight days have been an absolute whirlwind. Some really great things happened. Some really bad things happened. I’m kinda still reeling. I had some big firsts, and spent some time with great friends, had some real catharsis. I also fell further into depression than I have in a long, long time, and, oh yeah, got diagnosed with a chronic illness.

I need to get this all off my chest, cause I’m drowning. Join me?

Before we start, there’s two things you need to know about me. Both are things I’ve mentioned in bits and pieces on here, but here’s the full story:

1. Three months ago I had shoulder surgery to repair a torn labrum (I technically tore it when I dislocated my arm in high school, and it’s been popping out on me once every other year or so ever since, but my most recent [and now final] dislocation was very bad and sent me right to the doctor). I spent about two weeks out of work, just sitting at home on the couch in a sling. The pain wasn’t great, but it was worse mentally: I put on a couple pounds and immediately started to feel terrible about myself, and being stuck at home when I wanted to be out there, doing stuff with friends or with guys or to reach a point where I can move out, felt terrible. I wasn’t in a great headspace for a long time. As of now I have about 95% of my arm function back, and am fully healed, just trying to get back the last of my range of motion and gradually increase back to my old strength threshold.

2. This one is a bit more complicated. I’ve talked a lot here about how I grew up in a cult, but I never went into further detail. Well, here we go: I was a J*hovah’s W*tness. (I’m censoring this because I don’t want this showing up in searches) It wasn’t something I would have ever chose for myself, but when you’re born into it, you’re pretty heavily indoctrinated -- I thought it was the gospel truth despite having many reasons not to. They’re a very homophobic organization, so growing up in it wrecked my self esteem. My entire childhood and time as a teenager I thought I was worthless and doomed, destined for eternal destruction. I was often suicidal. When I was about 18 or 19 the cult printed an article “clarifying” their view on homosexuality, and said they recognized that some people are just naturally attracted to the same gender and as long as they don’t act on it they’re still “acceptable” to God. It’s dangerous bullshit that makes me so angry now, but as a brainwashed, suicidal teenager, it felt like the only chance I had to live a worthwhile life, so I got baptized into the religion, which is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life, because once you’re a baptized member of the cult, if you leave you’ll be shunned by everyone you’ve ever known. Your own parents will treat you as if you’re dead. I was very zealous for a year or two before realizing that I just couldn’t do it anymore, but it’s taken me nearly ten years to fully wake up from the indoctrination, read information from outside religions, scientists, and former members who have left. Currently I still live with my family and have to pretend to still believe (because the moment I don’t they’ll kick me out on the street), and am on the cusp of two promotions at work. As soon as those go through, I should be able to save money to move out, which I wanna do before the summer, and then I’ll be completely free.

Okay, the rollercoaster week itself:

Pre-Monday: For about a week, a week and a half before this all started, I’d been experiencing some pain in my side that was making it hard to sit up for long periods of time. This normally would’ve been a major red flag, but thanks to the shoulder surgery, I’d been having random back pains off and on recently anyway. I assumed it was related to me overcompensating for the shoulder and left it alone. Big mistake.

Monday: So one of my promotions at work involves a coaching center we’re launching. We were supposed to do our first presentation last Monday, and when my boss showed up for it, everything fell apart. It wasn’t totally my fault -- the general condition of the office itself wasn’t up to par, and the boss recognized that there wasn’t much I could do about that -- but a lot was, and I spent all week trying to fix things and get them running, and running into one major roadblock and frustration after another. We’re finally doing the presentation today, but it technically still isn’t 100% fixed. Work has been a major, major source of stress all week. I don’t think I’ll mention it again because there’s not much more to it than what I’ve listed here, but remember that it’s hanging over my head all week.

Monday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from my gym. Since the cult doesn’t celebrate holidays, I’d never actually been a birthday party before, complete with cake and singing happy birthday and everything. It was really nice -- even though it was truly just a bunch of guys hanging around a bar watching the Eagles, it still felt like something really special. I also spent about a half an hour in my car before I walked into the bar trying not to hyperventilate. I don’t feel guilty at all as I may have once, but I was still really worried about being seen by someone and my family finding out.

Wednesday: Tuesday was my only truly normal day of the week, and even then, we had my cousin staying with us up until Wednesday, so even then it wasn’t truly normal. We normally have church on Thursday nights (I have to attend so as not to blow my cover, but I tend to stand in the lobby and play on my phone the entire time; it’s a nice chance to catch up on my reading usually), but I had a concert on Thursday I was not going to miss, so I told my parents I was going to a different congregation on Wednesday night, but instead I went to Starbucks and caught up on Crisis on Infinite Earths. It’s...depressing that this is what I’m reduced to, but I was happy that it finally occurred to me to just...lie about it.

When I got home and took off my shirt to change into my pajamas, I noticed a patchy, red rash on my stomach, side, and back, right around the same area I’d been having pain for the last week or two. I’d absolutely never had anything like this happen before, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I crossed my fingers that it was an allergic reaction, put some cortisone cream on it, and decided to wait a couple days to see if anything changed.

Thursday: On Thursday I drove up to Philly after work, and ate a few slices at my favorite pizza place, reading comics, until it was time for the concert. It was a free show from Pkew Pkew Pkew, a band I truly, truly love, and it was one of my favorite shows of the year. Just pure joy. They played for about an hour, but were the opening act, and I don’t care for the headliner (Beach Slang), so I had originally had a few ideas about what I could do afterwards, considering that their set was over by 10 or so. I could go home (coward’s option), I could go to the Barcade. What I really wanted to do was go to a gay bar or club. I’d gone right before my surgery and had a great time, but I’d been avoiding going back (or joining a dating app or anything else) until my arm fully healed because it would very much have gotten in the way of doing anything physical. I was finally in the place where I could use my arm, but now I had that strange mysterious rash, and didn’t think it was right to do anything like that until I’d figured it out/gotten it cleared up. I don’t wanna pass anything on to anybody.

By sheer coincidence, Philly’s Emo Night ended up being this very same night (this one is held once a month), so I ended up heading over there and dancing until 2AM. I got very drunk and had a fantastic time. But there were a lot of couples. There was this girl that kept hitting on me, and then getting pissy when I didn’t reciprocate. There was this extremely hot dude in a Misfits hoodie, and early in the night we were the only two who were dancing, and he gave me a high five that he pulled into a bro hug after the song, which got me all riled up, but I couldn’t work it into anything else haha. And then this group of about four guys or so showed up, dancing all night, very affectionate, cupping each other’s faces when they talked to each other and all that. I’d seen them before and both times thought they might be gay, so I stuck close and was kinda part of their group for the night, which was really really fun. At the end of the night, one of them mentioned their girlfriend, and I reeled way more than I had any right to. I had a fantastic night. I went home feeling very alone.

Friday: Friday was my gym’s Christmas Party, which, much like Monday, was my first ever Christmas Party. I had a really fun time chatting with everyone, eating, watching one friend get drunk, try to jump up on the rings, and get dragged home by his wife. We had rowing contests and the losers had to take shots. But there was one guy there I’ve always had a crush on, a very straight, very married guy, and he was looking extremely hot and was acting extremely funny all night, and it was rough. I went home and dreamed about him all night. I woke up feeling even more alone and frustrated.

Saturday: I was pretty depressed and listless by this point. Feeling really sorry for myself despite all the fun I’d had all week. I had plans to drive up to Asbury Park for an Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties show and I just...really didn’t feel like going. But I drug myself out of bed and made myself go, because you don’t miss the gig. Before the show I wandered around Asbury, basically torturing myself. I wanted to visit a restaurant but had eaten lunch too late and wasn’t hungry. I found a gay club but still had that rash, so I didn’t wanna go in. I ended up standing on the beach, in the dark, finally having a genuine smile as I dodged the waves, but also just thinking about how sometimes Kangaroos just walk into the ocean and...never come back. I was not in a good headspace. I made myself get off the beach.

The show though...damn, that show. Dan played the second Aaron West album, Routine Maintenance, from front to back, and it’s an album about Aaron making the people in his life proud of him, about his friends giving him direction, about finding redemption through being there for his family in their darkest hour. That kind of shit is my kryptonite to begin with, but all I could think about was how all I had ever wanted in my life was to make my family proud, and how I’d never be able to do it, how someday soon they’re just...never gonna talk to me again. I cried twice during the set. And afterwards I got to hug Dan and tell him how much the album fucks me up. It was really cathartic. I felt the cloud start to lift.

Sunday: So Sunday I finally go to the doctor about this fucking rash, which hadn’t gotten any worse but had not gotten any better either. The diagnosis?

I have fucking shingles.

For those who don’t know, shingles is the chicken pox virus. After you’ve had chicken pox it never really leaves your body -- it stores itself away in your nerves. As an adult, it can reemerge as shingles, which begins as an intense pain, then advances into painful rashes on one side of your torso. Without intervention, they can continue to spread and become almost immobilizing. I’m currently on a pill I have to take three times a day for seven days, which will stop the progression of the shingles, and then it will heal up on its own, but it could take a few weeks.

Thankfully, I’m not contagious -- I can only spread the disease if someone has prolonged, direct contact with the rashes. I can be around people, but like I feared, it does rule out sex for a while. The worst part is that shingles as a disease can’t really be healed. The symptoms will go away, but I’ll be susceptible to outbreaks the rest of my life. Fortunately, the doctor made it sound pretty manageable -- the pain in my side, in that exact same spot, will always be my first symptom, so as soon as I feel that I need to get to a doctor and get back on the seven day medication to end the flare-up. It doesn’t sound like shingles flare-ups are super common either -- reading up on it, it looks like most people have, at the most, three outbreaks in their life. But, it’s still a chronic illness, and it’s one that’s very rare to emerge at this young of an age -- this is something you normally get in your fifties or sixties, not your early thirties!

Honestly, I could only laugh. Just my luck, right? I’m so frustrated. My arm’s finally reached the point where I can get back to trying to pursue guys, but nope! the shingles has to postpone it a few more weeks :/

But despite it all, the depression of the rest of the week had mostly lifted. I had processed it. I was feeling better. For a while.

Back in the spring I had joined a subreddit for former members of the cult, which is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, as it let me share my story with people who had been there and understood, and really helped clear out the last remnants of the programming from my brain. Every once in a while different gay Ex cult member will contact me on there, and I’ve struck up a few nice casual friendships. Last week a guy reached out to me on there looking for friends in the same situation as him, and I replied, and on Friday he finally replied back, and we texted each off and on Saturday and Sunday morning. Sunday night, though, we got into a deeper conversation. He’s in his early twenties, and some of the stuff he was asking for advice about made it sound like he was just starting to wake up from the programming and just starting to think about leaving and being gay and everything. Eventually, as we talk more, I find out that that’s not fully the case. He’s jealous of some of the stuff I’ve done that he hasn’t -- going to Pride, going to gay bars -- but unlike me, he’s had a fair amount of sex. Like any closeted Witness, he had to drive into unfamiliar cities to do so, and it’s a strategy I’ve thought of trying but never pulled off.

I dunno, I’m so depressed. I feel like such a failure. I know having sex doesn’t make you a better person, and not having sex doesn’t intrinsically make you a failure. But I feel like this because I want it so badly, because I always have, and I could have been doing it for years, and I’ve been really forced to confront the fact that it’s my own fear that’s been getting in my way all this time. If I’d really tried I could’ve done it by now. If I really tried I probably could’ve moved out and started my new life by now -- I’d probably be dirt broke in an apartment with like eight roommates, but I could’ve done it. I don’t feel like anybody else, including this guy I was chatting with, have been judging me for this, but I’m pretty disgusted with myself, irrational as it may be. I know it’s not true, but I feel like my whole life has been a waste of time. And I’m so fucking sick of it.

So. This is everything I’ve been processing this week. I don’t really know what to do with it. I’ve gotta be patient a little while longer. Keep working on my real estate licensing test so I can make some more money. Wait for the shingles to heal up. Get on Grindr and just, fucking, fuck some dude the moment I’m cleared up.

But fuck, I’m so fucking sick of waiting.

#pivitor

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anastasiaskarsgard · 6 years ago

Text

Meeting Roman Godfrey

Chapter 2

Warning: cursing.

Author notes: establishing these two dynamic. The calm before the storm if you will. Lol.

“I can honestly say that I’m jealous.” Roman mumbled as he stared in wonder at myr Uncles’ home. Walking around touching the original furnishings, and admiring the extensive art collection that was everywhere you looked, in some form or another.

My uncles home had been designed by famous architect frank lloyd wright and was dramatically built on top of a waterfall, giving it the suitable name of “Falling Water”. It was as famous for its genius design, as it was for being owned by a reclusive antisocial billionaire that didn’t allow journalists, photographers, architects or anyone for that matter near the home, let alone photograph it.

I think, the waterfall is annoying,the kitchen impractical,pretty much had no storage space, was constantly in need of some major renovation or repair, and was as close to living in a fish bowl you could get. I’d never admit any of those things out loud, because it truly was beautiful, but deep down I hated living in the famous home.

“I’m just shocked you drove all the way out here. I figured for sure you’d see how far it was and be like pass.” I said trying to draw some attention from the home.

“He recognized the address.” I spun around to find my Uncle standing by one of the homes many staircases.”hello Godfrey. I bet you’re beside yourself to finally have a look inside.”

“Absolutely, sir. It’s an absolute honor to be in your home.” Roman said politely.

I looked at him incredulously. He was known for being a pain in the ass and a brat, but maybe he was just smart and chose his battles. My uncle was as famous for being an asshole as he was for being a genius, but it seemed as though they knew eachother. “So I guess you two know eachother?” i asked.

“Since i can remember. your Uncle loves to tell me to go fuck myself on the regular. Well not since I tried to buy this house right before....” Romn trailed off as he seemed to get lost in some distant memory...

“What happened to your cousin Letha?” My uncle asked. Strange for him to even ask personal questions, let alone remember names (even if it was my name too)

“Uncle! It might be polite to ask him how he is first...” I huffed.

“I dont care about his emotional state. I care about how a perfectly strong healthy girl died so suddenly and then it just went away.” he analyzed Romans reaction, but there was none. my Uncle liked to test people.

“brain or blood vessel burst in child labor. I was there. So much blood... then she was gone.

“Uncle!!! Are you seriously...”

“No need to defend me Letha.” Roman interjected with a pleasant smile, “your Uncle is one of my favorite people.”

“Did I ever tell you how not just one, but two women ended up with your terrible name?” he asked me with one of his mischevious smiles. “in Greek it translates to forgetful, and considering you’re not forgetful in the least its ironic. Marie and your mother both hated Olivia, and bonded over that mutual hate. Marie was so taken by your others charms, she named Letha after you the following day.”

I looked over to Roman and he was staring into me. i glanced away to my Uncle, who was watching Roman wth a strange smile on his face. He was acting kind of strange, even for him. I’d better get Roman out of here before he hates me.

“. Come on out here with me and we can chat you two. Letha grab me a ginger ale and get Roman a water since he’s driving.” my Uncle ordered.

I agreed and hurried to the kitchen and watched in curiosity as the two notoriously difficult business tycoons seemed to be enjoying one another out on the terrace.

I hadn’t planned on inviting Roman in, but he had been so obviously enamored by the famous home, that i couldn’t refuse when he’d politely asked to see it. Normally a guy asking to see inside was a question with shady intentions, but the pure wonder on his face had proven otherwise.

Now i didn’t even know what to think about my Uncle being his version of kind to Roman. Uncle hated visitors. I wasn’t totally sure how much he liked me even. I felt like I was in some alternate reality

I grabbed the drinks, put them on this fancy tray and carried them out to the terrace. It was just nearly dusk and this was one of the prettiest times to see the house, when it was all lit up like a lone lantern in the thick forest with the dramatic waterfalls, and otherworldly feel.

It was kind of silly that the house was the view, instead of the house having a view. And ironically, the house was so hidden away on 1700 acres up a long winding road, behind a massive gate, with full time security, that nobody really ever got to view it.. Uncle has grown tired of people just showing up or seeing flashes in the woods, so he hired this crazy security company to keep everyone out and monitor all the borders. Hardly anyone ever made it thru now. It was private, but extremely isolated and lonely.

“I’m surprised you’d take interest in Letha.” My uncle said, eyes narrowing obviously oblivious I was right behind them. I held my breath and didn’t move a muscle. I wanted to hear this.

“Why? She’s a beautiful girl.” Roman chuckled.

My heart warmed and stomach fluttered a bit. OH HELL NO Letha. Keep that shit in check.Hes gorgeous, and tall, and sexy, and charmng, and smelled nice, and could hold his own with your uncle, but hes also famous for bedding every woman in his path....

“Frankly her breasts are too big for my taste, they seem like a handicap more than an asset, but that’s trivial and shallow. She’s too smart and she doesn’t listen for shit.”

“I had noticed that actually...” Roman said thoughtfully.

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

I cleared my throat, so I didnt hear anything else wrong with me. “Drinks guys.”

Roman hopped up to help me but I signaled him to sit, as I served them their beverages. I could feel his eyes on me, but was careful not to look at him and notice.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” My uncle said. I was gonna punch him in the face, hes such an ass! god I love him.

I burst out laughing and looked at Roman who was 3 shades redder and forcing an uncomfortable smile.He isnt that cool, he does get embarrassed, thats better.

My Uncle started to laugh but winced. “Ouch. Shit. Fucking neck.” He cursed as he was reminded laughing wasn’t allowed yet. He hardly ever did laugh so it wasn’t really an issue normally.

“You’re my favorite person in the world Uncle.” I meant it too. He’s always been there for me, and when I heard he’d hurt himself and may need my help, I dropped everything, hopped in my car and drove the nearly 3000 miles to his house.

It’d taken nearly a whole day to get permission to pass the guards. They were new and usually my uncle came to see me. I’d only been to this house one time when I had graduated high school more than a few years ago. With me going to University, my uncle no longer had to live in the city, so he came here.. Something about the house and town was unsettling to me.

“Well considering the competition, it’s not much of a compliment.” My uncle said dryly. “One day you two should compare notes and see which one of your mothers is the more despicable creature.”

“Is it ok if I take Roman on a little nature walk so he can see the house in all its glory?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna go to sleep shortly but no hanky panky you two.” He said with a mischievous grin.

Now it was my turn to be red. I turned to Roman and he was already up by my side. I took his hand and walked to the floating stairs that led to the ground floor. I was sure to walk slowly so he could take in all the house had to offer.

“Beautiful.” Roman said under his breath.

“Oh my gosh I know! Can you believe they built this out in the middle of nowhere in 1935? Can you imagine? And it hasn’t been cheap or easy keeping it perfect like this. A few years ago they had to rip half the house apart and reinforce it because the terraces were sagging. Uncle spent like 11 million dollars that time on engineers and architects and materials. He was not letting it go, and I don’t even think the whole house is worth that, but when he likes something, not hell nor high water can change his mind.”

“I wasn’t talking about the house, although good to know.” He smiled at me almost shyly.

“Are you trying to be adorable? You aren’t shy, and yet you’re acting almost sweet.”

“You’re so weird. You just spit out whatever you’re thinking don’t you?” Roman challenged me. Super cocky confident Roman returning.

“Omg you’re a peacock. Look at you preening about, puffing up your chest.”

“A peacock? Really? What does that make you?”

I had to think about that for a moment.”I’d have to go with a honey badger I think.” I said.

Roman choked on his water. I pat him on the back, giving him a moment to catch his breath. “Why is that such a shock?”

“No reason.” He tried to look innocent but I could see thru his shit. “Why did you choose it?”

“Well I’m resourceful, fearless, I don’t listen, I prefer my own company, no one can keep me contained, and snakes don’t intimidate me.”

“Ya?” Roman got very close to me and wrapped his arms around me looking down through long lashes. He oozed sex appeal and I could see how all the girls fell all over him.

I reached up and booped his nose. “Boop.” I giggled hysterically at his facial expression.

“What was that?” He asked confusedly.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. No one has ever booped you in the nose? That’s crazy! You have the best looking nose I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve never gotten that one.”

“Well that’s cuz most women are probably trying to be sexy and mysterious with you. theyre not being themselves. Boop. Ok last one. Sorry. I barely know you, I can’t go booping you all over the place on our first date, you’re a nice Christian boy...” I said sarcastically. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him along the way. “We are almost there and it’s getting dark. We don’t wanna get eaten out here or have to kill something.”

i looked back and Roman was genuinely smiling. I felt warm all over, I looked t our hands intertwined and was puzzled with the feeeling i felt. i looked back at Roman and he was looking at our hands too...

We walked along in happy silence until we reached the rocks across the lake and waterfalls from the house. I was wearing Converse, but his dress shoes were proving to be less than nature friendly. We finally got up the slick stairs cut into the stone to reach the sitting area, after a lot of effort and laughs. They were the worst shoes for this environment ever.

Upon seeing the house, Roman audibly gasped. He took a few steps ahead and I just admired his profile and form. He really was beautiful. I knew he was going to kiss me before the night was thru. I knew better than to trust this boy, and I knew this was really stupid and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was completely enthralled and was going to see it through. I didnt half ass anything, and i wasnt going to start with him.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Roman said playfully.

My eyes flashed at him trying to tell me what to do. I lowered my head and looked up at him thru my lashes with a sneer.

“Hey hold on, that’s my trick! We can’t BOTH have intense sexy stares.” he walked over and casually grabbed me around the waist.

“Good thing mine is just evil then.” I said in my best creepy witch voice.

He burst out laughing, eyes shining. It was a genuine laugh. I could tell by the way he instantly tried to control it, that it didn’t happen often.He tried to be so intimidating and serious, but there was a warmth to him, just under the surface.

“You’re a nerd.” He said quietly.

Oh boy here we go. He’s gonna try this again. My mind was running 1000 miles a minute as I tried to decide whether I was going to let this happen, when all of a sudden it was too late. His lips were on me as he pulled me into a deep embrace. If I was the type to get caught up in a moment, this would be that moment. He smelled amazing, and tasted so sweet. I felt gum in his mouth with my tongue and I snatched it. I pulled away victorious and mock screamed like a roaring crowd, jogging in a circle arms raised.

“You did not just steal my gum.” He beamed at me, chasing me and catching me in his arms before slipping and pulling me down on top of him, wincing at the impact.

i hovered over him laughing hysterically. “grace and beauty,” i teased. “ No gum is safe when I’m around.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet and then back to the stairs. “Time to go on the date I have planned for us.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked genuinely shocked. “You planned out a date?”

“I did. And I have a feeling, you’re going to love it giiiirrrlll!” We both were giggling like school kids as we made our way back to the house.

I looked up to see my Uncle watching us from his terrace, a worried look on his face. That was kind of odd, but this was Roman Godfrey for chrissake.

I obnoxiously kissed my hand with a big “muah!” And threw it at my uncle who ducked like he was really avoiding getting hit.

“You nearly got me that time.” He yelled down to me.

I laughed and waved goodbye as we walked around the house to Romans Mercedes G wagon.

“Do you know why this suv is so expensive?” I asked him.

“It’s a Mercedes.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Although that’s part of it, these are built by hand and take over 40 hours buy two master craftsman to build. They have all the top-of-the-line materials used as well as three locking differentials. It’s the only one in its class with that so it’s superior for off-road Ing especially with the all wheel drive. Add that with superior safety and brand reliability and you have a very expensive, amazing machine. And since you of course have the AMG, you have to add two more craftsman to its build to hand build its engine that’s a mechanical marvel in itself.”

“You know more about my car than me. “ he laughed.

“It’s no big deal, I just never forget something once I’ve read it.”

“Never? I understand your ironic name now”

“Nope. It’s a blessing and a curse. I get it from my Uncle I guess.”

“That’s impressive.” He said sincerely. “I better never lie to you.”

I looked at him and our eyes locked. We stood there eyes locked on one another, neither of us wanting to be the first to look away. A smile crept across his face and i did an exaggerated silly wink.

“You are full of surprises Ms. Letha... what is your last name? Same as your Uncle?

“Nope. My last name is Dahl although I’d love to change it. Not a fan of my father.

“Oh? Family drama Letha Dahl?’

“You have no idea.” I winked and got in the passenger side before he could reach the door and open it for me. I watched him walk around to the drivers seat and stop to read a message and reply. He scanned thru his phone and slipped it in his pocket. He climbed in and pushed the button to start the car. I went to the navigation and entered the address of our destination and pressed start.

I looked out the window analyzing my thoughts and emotions with scientific precision, first identifying the particular emotions and then assessing where there root was, before filing them away as solved. This was how I regulated thoughts and feelings, so they never got the best of me but this time there were emotions, I had no name for and there was nothing logical about them. I’d dated and even had boyfriends, but I’d never been this absolutely enamored by a man. i felt .... God, what was it?

Roman Godfrey was way cooler than me, but I was smarter, but for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if that was an advantage. I had never let emotion take the wheel, but i almost wanted to. I wanted to be lost in this tragic gorgeous boy.

#billy skarsgard #bill skarsgard #bill istvan günther skarsgård #roman godfrey #hemlock grove #imagine #fanfic #meetingroman100 #my writing

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airis-paris14 · 6 years ago

Text

Kings Trip Ch. 10

A/N So I’m only 36 hours late. But I hope y’all enjoy anyway. I had fun trying to right for Erik. Let me know how I did. This series has been amazing and I hope to continue being apart of collaborations in the future. Love all of you all!

Next writer up is..... @mbakusthrone

Now where both of y’all niggas going?” Erik frowned as the two put the last finish in touches on their outfits. “I thought we could try to hit up the strip club again. Now that Nakia is gone.” He suggested.

“I’m going to see Max.” T’Challa replied,double checking the way his shirt fell open just below his jacket. “I have got a date with Muse.” M'Baku shrugged. “Wait. This nigga just got out of a one sided relationship,” the prince pointed at the king. “And yo barking ass just saw the same woman this morning. And y’all both pussywhipped niggas in less than 24 hours.” The prince slumped onto the couch observing the two men gather in their things to leave.

“Maybe you could go to this strip club, by yourself?” M’Baku shrugged. “Nigga. Y’all forgot why we here? It’s a Kings trip!”

“Well I only see two kings in the room right now,” M’Baku remarked. “If yo gorilla looking ass make one more smart assed remark,” Erik fumed. “Hey,Hey!” T’Challa held his cousin back. “This is why we are on this trip in the first place. We are here to bond. And Erik is right. We should be doing more together. So let’s compromise. Mbaku and I go out tonight. Then, everyone has to choose a group activity. Starting with the strip club.” T’Challa offered.

Erik huffed his assent and shrugged out of his cousins hold. M’Baku also nodded begrudgingly as he rose from the couch. “Good. N’Jadaka, we will be back later. Try to get out of the hotel.” The Wakandan king suggested.

The African prince trudged into the kitchen. Sighing he glanced at the fridge before noticing a small flyer taped to the door with a note, scrawled in T’Challa’s hand. Some of the students from the outreach center are participating in a poetry slam tonight. From what I have heard of this competition, I thought you might like to go. -T.

Erik unfolded the flyer from behind the handwritten note and glanced over the paper in his hand.

Monthly open mic featuring the Oakland Team

Admission is $5 to support the team’s journey to Brave New Voices. 6:30 @ Frenchie’s Bar and Grill.

“So little niggas think they got game? A’ight. I respect that.” Erik chuckled as he slipped the flyer into his pocket. He grabbed his keys and his wallet and jogged out the door.

The small restaurant was packed full of friends in family. Applause drifted out in to the night air as a poet walked off the stage.The young prince took a seat at the back of the small restaurant as you woman walked up to the stage. Thank you, Thank you all for joining us tonight!” the black woman beamed as her ankara print skirt swished around her ankles. “Thank you to the lovely Danielle for opening as our sacrificial poet tonight. Now I know this is not our usual venue, but the school auditorium is finally undergoing some much needed repairs. Thanks to the Wakandan Outreach center. So Tina and her team here at Frenchie’s has graciously opened their doors up to us for the time being and for that we are all grateful.” The M.C. took a moment to pause and begin a round of applause . The slight swell of her lips as she spoke into the microphone drew Erik’s attention as she continued. “Now we have just a few ground rules for tonight’s performances. This is an open space, where youth feel free to share their experiences. So we ask that you respect everyone and their experience. There is no right or wrong way to express oneself, unless it harms others.”

The prince’s eyes were drawn to her hands as the gestured wildly, making every movement she completed capture the full attention of her audience. Her smile almost blinded the prince as his ears fell back into focus. “And our last rule is to have fun and enjoy yourselves and the immense talent that these children have. With that, our first poet of the night is Deshawn. Please give him a warm round of applause as he makes his way to the stage.” The woman’s skirt swished around her as she moved towards the back of the room.

Erik followed her with his eyes before moving to stand next to her. She glanced up once before her eyes returned to the child on the stage. “Erik,” the prince whispered extending a hand. “Ah, the local rags to riches story. Oni, the kids call me Ms.O.” The black woman’s smile gleamed from behind her brown lips.

“You know who I am?” He smirked. “Who in Oakland hasn’t heard of you. Local kid, graduated with honors. Went to MIT, top of your class. When off and became a top military agent. Then more recently, a crown prince of Wakanda. In line for the throne hypothetically. You’re every little Oakland boy’s dream.” The woman shrugged, glancing down at her list as the young poet began to close.

“You don’t seem impressed,” Erik smirked. “As far as I’m concerned. You still just another nigga from the block.” Oni smirked.

Erik’s grin stretched miles wide as she went back on to stage. The young poets came and went as the night went on.

How’s the show? T’Challa’s message buzzed on his wrist. It’s dope. Thanks for letting me know.

No problem. Enjoy.😊T’Challa’s response was instantaneous. Nigga, don’t ever use that emoji again. Erik replied.

Why not? I am just displaying my appreciation.

“This nigga,” Erik muttered as his attention fluttered back to the end of the show. “Thank you all for coming. We host weekly workshops and performance opportunities. So join us every Tuesday at the community center. Get home safely and remember. You. Are. Loved. Goodnight!” Oni’s voice rang out over the studio as people began to filter out.

A few kids hung behind to talk to Oni before heading out themselves. Erik waited patiently as the last of the kids left. He startled the brown skinned woman as he placed a chair on the table beside her. “So you’re a ‘you can take the man out of Oakland, but you can’t take Oakland out of the man’ type of woman?”

“I guess you could say that,” the poet grinned while moving to another table. “What if I said I could show you more than you can imagine?” Erik offered. “I’d say, I don’t walk around alone with strangers.”

“What if I don’t want to be a stranger?” The Wakandan prince stopped moving. Oni took a deep breath, ignoring his suggestions. “I’ve really got to get home your highness.” she joked moving to grab her things. Oni walked around double checking lights as she called out a goodbye to The kitchen crew. “Ok, it’s late. How you gettin’ home?” Erik insisted. “I’m just gonna call an lyft or something. I’ll figure it out” the blackwoman shrugged as she strolled towards the front door.

“Let me figure it out for you. I’ll take you home,” he offered jingling his car keys as the vibranium car glowed. “Just because you got a fancy car, that probably cost more money than i’ll ever see in my lifetime, dont mean im gonna let you drive me home. You still just another nigga from the block.” the woman sassed opening the lyft app. “Look, tell you what. I’ll have my guard ride with us.” he offered.

“Why, so there can be two men in the car?” the woman deadpanned. “Hard pass.”

“Look ma. How much do you actually know about Wakanda?” the prince grabbed the phone from her grasp. “Negro give me my phone!” Oni hissed. “Just answer the question and I’ll give you the phone.” Erik bartered. “Ok, All I know is y’all rich and black.Now give me the phone!” Oni fumed as Erik held the phone above him where she couldn’t reach it.

“Erik!”

“I like the way my name sounds on yo lips ma.” the prince grinned. “Say it again.” Oni bit back a grin as she pouted. “Just give me the phone please.” Erik laughed, “You gotta say my name for it princess.” Oni sighed, “Just give me the phone Erik, please.”

Erik play moaned as he pulled the phone back into reach. Oni punched his shoulder as she closed the app for now. “Let me show you something different ok? Look, I’ll have Ayo come down here and if you still feel uncomfortable with her then I’ll have a car come take you home. Ok?” Oni sighed reluctantly as Erik called for Ayo.

“Your guard is a woman?” The woman questioned as Ayo appeared from around the corner. “Yeah the royal family’s personal guards are all female in Wakanda. Dora Milaje, the most elite group of warriors in Wakanda.” Erik explained. “More elite than the men?” Oni inquired. “Yeah, they can whoop your ass in a heartbeat.” Erik only half joked as Ayo approached. “Sikhulu wam,” Ayo saluted. “ Ayo, Oni here is worried about riding home with me alone in the car. I was wondering if you would ride with us to calm her nerves,’ Erik explained in his overly clear voice. “njengoko kufanele abe,” Ayo nodded. “As you should be,” the woman flawlessly translated.

“She’s kidding,” Erik reassured as he lead the way to the car.

Once everyone was settled into the car, Erik pulled off down the street, in the wrong direction. “Negro, my apartment is the other direction.”

“I know, we’ll make it there,eventually.” Erik grinned. “Eventually?” Oni shot up. “Chill ma. I just wanna get to know you. Since you know so much about me.” Erik clarified. “What’s there to know about me? The kids are my life. Parents died when I was younger. My aunt who raised me was killed in a drive by last year.” Oni shrugged.

“Damn, I’m sorry O.” Erik frowned as he pulled onto another street. “How much money the kids need to raise for that voices thing?” Erik asked once the traffic light hit green. “Huh?” Oni fell out of her day dream. “The flyer? It said yall we charging admission so the kids could compete later this year. “Oh yeah. It’s a national and international poetry slam. We’ve got a really good group of kids this year. But you know, parents trying to make ends meet, doesn’t usually mean they can spare money for a hotel rooms and meals. We like to give the kids some spending money too. It’s not often they get to get out of this community. We like to reward them, for staying out of trouble. It’s hard when trouble stares at you from every corner, ya know?”

Erik pulled to a stop in front of Oni’s apartment building. “Let me walk you up,” Erik hopped out of the car and opened the door for the woman. They walked in silence up the stairs together. “Can I see you again soon?” Oni finally broke the silence when they stopped in front of her door.

Erik grinned “Ah, you want to see me again?” Oni let a matching grin slide over her face. “Don’t get cocky nigga.” Oni laughed, “You are different Erik.” she conceded with a smile on her face. “You’ve got no idea ma.” Erik grinned as he pulled the woman into a hug.

“I guess i better go,” Oni gestured to her door. “Yeah. Good night,” Erik pouted. “I’ll see you soon, the woman smiled sadly, pushing open her door. “See you soon,” Erik saluted as he walked backwards down the hall. He waited till he heard her deadbolt click before he walked back out to the car.

He settled into the car, where Ayo was smiling from the back seat. “I like her,” the warrior grinned through the rear view mirror. “I feel like a having a burger, You want one A?” Erik ignored her comment as he pulled off. But his smile said it all.

Tags:

@blackandfair @blublubleu @katasstrophey @mbakusthrone @njadont @k-michaelis @wakandanmoonchild @idilly @texasbama @afraiddreamingandloving @ixan-ity @daytimeheroicsonly @onyour-right @brianabreeze @sisterwifeudaku @ironsquad @killmongerdispussy @90sinspiredgirl @willowtree77785901 @maynardqueen101 @heyauntieeee @halfrican-heat @purple-apricots @lalapalooza718 @blue-ishx @profilia @ljstraightnochaser @girl-wtf-lmao @dramaqueenamby @royallyprincesslilly @melaninmarvel @thiccdaddy-mbaku @lavitabella87 @purplehairgawdess @unholyxcumbucket @uhlxis @oshasimone @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @cozyshack2 @zxddy-panther @queentearra @skysynclair19 @retro-melanin @mermaidchansons @misspooh @melanisticroyalty @babygirlofwakanda @wakanda-4evr

#blackpantherimagines #tchalla #tchalla fanfiction #tchalla imagine #okoye x tchalla #okoye x reader #tchalla x nakia #tchalla x reader #shuri x reader #erik x t'challa #mbaku #erik x reader #erik killmonger #kingstrip #aafics #bpapfics #kingstripfic

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unu-nunu-art · 7 years ago

Note

What happened to all the errorink stuff?

I thought I uploaded this one 3 days ago~ ;D

And now, long post incoming!

I know a lot of people are following me for this here, and I totally understand why. I can absolutely assure you that it is still my one and only OTP and this will probably never change because these characters are the reason why I met my girlfriend! Which is super important! They are more than special to me because of that. Don’t worry.

Furthermore, @ask-glitch-and-squid exists, for exact that reason. A lot of people still haven’t caught onto that, but @lyoth737 and me are the mods! I know updates have been slow but I managed to pull one at the end of December (yay) and right now, we wanna try to keep it at a monthly update because our lives can’t take any more than that without going crazy.

Finally, there is this one wonderful thing called money. And now I’m gonna vent a bit. :D

The last half of 2017 didn’t go well for me. I had to buy a new car, which is essential for me in order to go to my work place once a week. I am a full time student, I currently study at the local university to become a bachelor of science one day, and I live from approximately 900€ per month - entirely on my own. You may not realize this, but I’m an adult. I am 27. I don’t live with my parents, and my parents lack money themselves so they can’t support me. My income is barely enough to pay the rent for my apartment, bills and stuff like food in order to survive, so buying a new car ripped a HUGE hole into my wallet, even if it was a cheap used thing (yet it’s very awesome and I wanna keep it as long as possible).

That is why I opened commissions. That is why I have a Patreon now. Because I wanna make art part of my income so things might become a little bit easier for me.

I don’t like to talk about my private life online. I really don’t like it. But maybe some people wanna know that this is currently my situation.

I go to university, have to take care of myself, work once a week and when I have free time, I draw. Every second weekend, I am meeting my girlfriend. We don’t live as far apart as others, but still not next door and it’s still quite bit of a distance to drive. We want to see each other at a regular basis regardless. So far, I couldn’t even study for exams and it’s driving me crazy because I should but I just can’t for several other reasons. I’ve recently worked mostly on commissions for (probably) understandable reasons while still doing some stuff like gifts and drawing for my blog and also agas updates in. Considering this is not my main job, that’s kind of an achievement I guess. And that’s why stuff I am personally interested in (if you haven’t noticed, there also haven’t been any major Template and Pale updates) suffered a bit recently. o o

Also, said car costed 300€ of repairs this month and probably will cost even more. That’s basically what I could horde by doing commissions. Poof, gone in a day. All the hard work for maintaining my situation. From the small amount of money from my Patreon, I could bring Tia to the vet because she had mites. I am still not sure if they are completely gone, but I guess she’s fine now…

Now I thought I can finally start to study, but today I discovered that my apartment is infested with parasites that are extremely difficult to get rid of and while not dangerous, I have no idea where these come from and it will definitely be a huge task (like 2 months at least according to several pages online!) to get rid of them! This will of course also eat away my time. I have no idea how I can possibly pass the exams right now and I… should probably find a way to clone myself to get everything done I wanna do.

So… yeah!

If you wanna help me out because you enjoy my content and my work, I have a Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unununium If I reach the 50$ per month goal, I will make a monthly art raffle for free requests. Of course you guys could request some ErrorInk things, absolutely, I’d be more than grateful if you did! If I reach 100$, I will try to make monthly wallpapers and it’s up to you guys to vote what you wanna see! And if you can’t use Patreon, @ask-glitch-and-squid also has a ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/askglitchandsquid You are more than encouraged to send us asks for coffee goals, and I’m eternally grateful for the support, no matter how small it might be! I am currently working on the reward for the past stretch goal, by the way! ;D

And now you know the full story. This is why there currently is less ErrorInk stuff than it used to. Also Pale and Template exist now because I have a lot of fun with them. Long story short, I worked on commissions and I also have a life and I kinda wanna keep it that way. Being alive is nice. c:

If you made it all the way down, phew, good job, and thank you for reading this! I usually don’t do this, and please don’t be discouraged, @xronxxim, your question was alright and understandable, but this gave me a reason to explain myself a bit. No hard feelings at all! Also venting sometimes does wonders, right? Let’s just hope things will get better soon, so you will get not just more ErrorInk, but also more about Template and Pale - because I can assure you, I have a lot of things planned for them, too. ovo

#I hope no one hates me now for being too whiny #unu talks #or #unu vents #:'D #ask #xronxxim

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anyu-blue · 6 years ago

Text

Personal

Mobile keep scrolling. Read more vv

Bug infestation fyi.

I'm starting to get really worried...

Living here has turned into an absolute nightmare... It's nice to see the sun and to be on the top floor and have that sort of freedom and all.. but the bedbugs... I can overlook the slightly unpleasant neighbors. The thin walls. The crumbling roof (my ceiling is starting to get really bad). The leaks and places other bugs like to get in. I'm sure our neighbors do the same... But these bugs.

I didn't actually realize how tenacious and TINY they are. A female can only lay one egg a day, but in the buggy would.. that's a lot. And there only needs to be one male and explosions are imminent. Can even be from an egg she just laid, they don't have problems with inbreeding. And while a female can only mate once a day.. a male can mate with all females in his area.

So even one... One tiny, itty bitty bug that's oh so hard to see, let alone feel... Could spell disaster for an entire complex. Because those big ones I've been squashing.. yeah.. they're actually really old comparatively.. and all the new ones that have and will hatch.. smaller than a pin head. I'm only lucky enough to know that thanks to the massively gruesome display in my room rn... There are dozens.. dozens of tiny tiny, so small you wouldn't see them unless you were looking, corpses or possibly carapaces on my pad. With all the powder I've put in there they've dehydrated and ended up stopping where they were looking for food... I hope. I hope they aren't carapaces. They don't look to have moved either way.. I keep checking.. I have pictures.. but millimeters are a lot bigger to them than they are to me.... But I also keep finding more. I thought I'd just missed them initially, but I put something clean down in there a week or two ago and moved it a few days ago only to discover about 6 Tiny little dots on top of it... And a much larger, live buggy under it.

The diatomaceous earth works to a degree and I'm so grateful... But it's obviously not full proof.

....

We need to move. Because Tevie and I can't afford this place on our own...

I mean I MAY have about $200 extra by the end of the month to go towards a deposit on a new place... If our mother doesn't drop the ball on us and refuse to pay rent like she threatened... Which she can't technically legally do because she has so much of her stuff here... But may try anyway and I'm still really angry about...

But even then.. even if I DO have the extra... I can't think of a single place that will take us... Because of the risk. I don't WANT to infest a new place... I'm going insane enough as it is knowing THIS wasn't our fault....

I'm riddled with bites. RIDDLED. And I keep finding more. We even keep powdering... Tevie keeps vacuuming... I keep washing (hot water hot dryer) And the number doesn't go down. It's actually gone up. I didn't realize how bad the back of my arms were until I caught myself in the mirror today.

My legs. My feet. My back, belly, neck, shoulders, FINGERS (those ones suck). These are the ones I just happen to spot.. because they're red and puffy, but only for a maximum of 2 days before they disappear on me... And they've started itching... Due to the sheer number I may be developing the allergy.. or it's probably psychological which also isn't fun.

Who would WANT to take us in?

Even if we find someone.. which I am seriously starting to doubt... We have to get rid of so much... Tevie is distraught... Because she doesn't want to lose her bed.. or the body pillows I saved up to give her as gifts to help her sleep a few years ago... Every time I try to talk about moving she tells me to stop. To shut up... Because if we manage it.. it's going to be so hard. We're losing so much.. and we don't even HAVE that much...

I'm also worried that if we move someplace and some how manage to avoid transporting.... we're not going to be looked kindly on for sleeping/eating/spending so much time on the floor.. the couch where I'm sleeping now, the chair that goes with it, all the beds... All the pads... At least half our pillows. Blankets (especially comforters).. many clothes and our few storage thingys ( specificly ones with too small crevices).. any large/unwashable stuffed animals we still have... It all has to go. There's no way we can guarantee they'll be bug free... I'm honestly terrified I'm going to have to give up my Scooby too... My comfort blanket..

What will a landlord or property manager think when they come to check on us or if we need something repaired?

Most of the furniture we are using isn't ours anyway.. it's our mom's. Lucky me.. we've completely fallen out. There goes the kitchen stuff. Washer. Dryer.

I mean it FEELS bad enough... But for some reason people really judge hard too. We wouldn't be able to to have anyone over because of all we'll lose, and poor Tevie is even more upset because of that too. We will be lucky to have my TV and our games/stations maybe... But not right away because they will need full proof decontamination.. heavy cleaning and freezing if it won't kill them (ie any electronics).. if we can borrow a freezer or have one available to us.

I have already given Tevie my promise that no matter what, she doesn't have to sleep on the floor.. that she can have my hammock since it has made my old injury act up (mostly because I suck at sleeping correctly so I hurt myself unintentionally. Another reason I really miss having a bed.) But it makes her feel worse knowing she'll be taking it from me after I fought so hard for it (it's an old guilt thing having to deal with how she was kept in place specificly). But it's something we can clean and take with us with little danger.. I hope.

I just... UGH what do I do?

If we had.. gods.. idk.. if we had a $1000 gift even... We could manage to start over... to break our lease and throw 95% of stuff out... It would be no less painful, but we could get some cheap dressers or something brand new for storage.. air mattresses or cheap frames and pads for places to sleep.. a large freezer to salvage some clothes and blankets and anything that will survive a deep freeze, plus a place for food storage all in one.. or just a small, cheap new wardrobe if nothing else. Like $50-$75 each... Money for the cost of moving ourselves.. and a deposit, first month's rent.. just a start... Until we could start to save something. Anything.. to get whatever else we may need then want.

But then even a gift of $1000 would also devaste us rn..

Due to the reporting laws, After taxes, it would push us over the minimum income for a family of 2 per month and I'd lose my health insurance (means no meds). We could be turned away from housing due to having too much in the bank... Why are poor people not allowed to have savings anymore? Why is so much demanded up front when the reason people are going into programs is because they DON'T have it??

We could NOT report it.. and then potentially get fined for fraud...

Ugh... A lot of this is worst case scenario stuff... And I could have some things wrong here... But it's what's on my mind... And the very real possibility of living out of a car here in the near future.. if I'm even allowed to keep it. If I'm not... I lose my job, which everyone already knows... My dad will take Tevie and me in in a heartbeat.. but I can't risk infesting his or anyone he gets to help's house. He and our friends can't afford it any more than we can. None of them can.. there's already 7 of my family members living in that 3 bedroom house for Pete's sake... I'd sooner opt to throw ALL my stuff away, even the clothes on my back...

I can't tell what it's going to be yet. How far it all will go.. I just know it's going to be so incredibly difficult no matter what.

...

Slightly unrelated rant here..

Meanwhile my mom doesn't have to worry about a (crumbling) roof over her head because her bf's parents own his place from what I understand. While they may struggle like us to put food on the table here and there, she never has to fear homelessness. She has a bed, a dresser, plenty of furniture, space to be herself, support.. even a bf who wants to give her MORE of all of the above.

... She's also allowed up here with access to everything anytime (I've asked for a heads up of when she does want to be here only so I can be out of her way, but that's too disrespectful of me because she pays her portion of the rent, so she's never here)... And so is never high and dry or fearful... And so feels like it wouldn't be a terrible move to just drop this place and us altogether. To take what she wants and/or needs and leave without fear.

Tevie and I are on the brink of losing everything... And she just doesn't care. I'm still angry about that too. About her lies in caring about us.. because she clearly doesn't. She doesn't HAVE to go through this with us and has chosen not to. And I don't think there's anything I CAN do about that either. I wouldn't want to go through this either.. I mean I REALLY don't want to be going through it right now.. but I, for one, have refused to abandon my sister. My job. My pet. And my hobbies (for now).. which means keeping my clothes (work has dress code).. mandatory decent night's rests.. fighting the infestation/dealing with bites... Working on moving/losing stuff all by myself... It's exhausting.. and I'm terrified.. but I can't just run away from it... (Especially cuz I got no monies to do so).. I'm mad because she CAN.. perhaps, actually, jealous is a better word than mad... because I understand. As twisted and backwards as her logic is in a lot of places.. self preservation is pretty smart technically.. and dropping all of this does mean less stress for her which is important to life...

*sigh*... I think I will need to ask for help soon... I'm the thinker.. and I am struggling to think my way through this.

I'm struggling to find a way to remain or even BECOME independent like I want to be... ESPECIALLY Because of these bugs... If we could just move.. if there were no bed bugs. If the only obstacle was getting a place we could afford and moving Into that place.. we could do it... But losing near everything in order to do it... To have to rebuild so much.... (Beds.. heck FURNITURE is expensive)... I don't think we can do that.. not alone.

Not that, hey, a table is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.. nor are chairs (posture can be worked on and upheld without those)... Nor are many pillows and blankets. One should do a person each... In Montana Winters it can get difficult.. but it's easily possible to sleep in sweaters and layers and stuff... Keep your head propped up carefully and it may be possible to avoid getting colds and back aches from sleeping on the floor too. And cats.. well they do need perches.. that bit IS important.. but they will gladly curl up next to you and in clothes to keep warm

Maybe I am overthinking... Maybe it's a GOOD thing to get rid of pretty much everything... I mean.. we don't NEED all of it... It's just nice.. don't need a dresser or books or a lot of clothes or a bed, really... We're human. We're animals... We're the only ones who have 'need' of these comforts and convieniences I'm so sad to lose... A nest is nice, but shelter is more important.. as is food.

Maybe... Maybe I can track down a 1 bedroom place we can afford instead of looking for a 2 bedroom and getting pegged with double the ridiculous prices... I mean.. without having living room stuff... The living room is just a room, right? It's technically my bedroom right now even... any kept TVs and electronics don't need to be off the floor if they're not plugged in...

... why am I freaking out exactly?

Well I certainly don't want to track in any bedbugs to a new place... That is valid... But the rest of it.. the rest of it does seem rather silly. I don't need to keep nearly as much as I want to. ... I suppose my biggest challenge now may be is working with Tevie to see this and be okay with it too...

Yay 3am second-wind ^^

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #negative #bedbugs #bed bugs #no like being all itchy #but what ca ya do?#so tired...#but ive beem stressing a lot lately #and cut myself off from talking about it so i dont upset Tevie #but knowing my dad is always here for me.. it has been helping so much #realizing id be okay without anything i couldn't carry if i had to move in #with him... has helped me realize im probably being silly about my stuff #no one wants our porcelain dolls.. so i moght just throw all mine away tomorrow #as a start... it would be safer anyway because their boxes coild have buggies #in there or an egg stuck to them we can't see.#I'm certainly not putting those boxes into a freezer #they're too cumbersome #my grandmother is going to be PISSED.. but maybe she'll understand #our circumstances... or at least my mental state #maybe...

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