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victoriareyloficlists · 4 years

Text

Fluff Part 4 of 4

Titles T-Z

Updated 10 December 2021

Fluff Part 1 Titles A-G

Fluff Part 2 Titles H-M

Fluff Part 3 Titles N-S

Fluff Part 4 Titlez T-Z

Rest of the Masterlist.

Take a Chance on Me by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey hates watching her best friend/roommate Ben go on date after date with no success. Eventually, she decides to do something about it. Or, 5 bad dates + 1 good one.) Take Me Out To The Ball Game by empirestrikesben (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is sitting with her daughter next to Prince Ben at a baseball game. Her daughter sneaks popcorn while her mom's distracted. The video goes viral and Queen Leia invites Rey and her daughter to the palace.) Talk Nerdy To Me by andabatae (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Grad student Rey is addicted to watching nature documentaries narrated by the mysterious Kylo Ren. In fact, listening to him recite animal facts is her favorite masturbation inspiration. One day, the poetry class she TAs for has a guest lecturer: Ben Solo, a large, cranky man with gorgeous hair, adorable glasses... and a very compelling voice.) Taming the Beast by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hux notices that Ben is more reasonable in company meetings when Rey is there as well. Hux starts inviting IT employee Rey to meetings completely out of her knowledge scope. The ruse is discovered when Ben is having a fit and overhears Hux ask Poe to 'go get the missus.']) Tampons and Blueberry Red Bull by PurpleSugarQuills (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Mutual pining in college where Rey works at the local convenience mart and Hux asks Ben to pick up tampons for Rose.) Teenage Dream by ReyloRobyn2011 (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They met on the playground in first grade. Ben saw the scrawny girl with three messy buns lining the back of her head from across the schoolyard. She sat by herself on the bench, watching the other kids play. He’d never seen her before; she was the new girl in class. Ben didn’t have any friends and he was too shy to talk to anyone— but there was something about this girl. He felt drawn to her.) Tell Your Parents to Subscribe! by dawninthemtn (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Internet journalist Rey is assigned to do a story on children's YouTube sensation Kylo Ren, aka her nephew's idol. When she meets him, she realizes all those weird online moms who thirst after him might be onto something after all.) That Is My Cat by LoveThemFiercely (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Excuse me but that 'stray cat' you're trying to 'adopt'? Is my pet.") That's mine! by CrystalDen (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When their new supervisor came from a different department, it had been a temporary solution to fix the swift exit of their boss. No one really cared that it was, well, a dude. A very tall, quiet dude with big features and a churlish expression. Gathering around the main hub of their floor to make introductions, Rey found herself mildly invested. He’d be around for a week, two. Maybe a month tops. It’s been three, and Rey just wishes he would go the fuck away.) that's where you take me by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben asks his daughters nanny Rey to live with them during quarantine so she can help take care of her while he works remote. Lots of domestic proximity and mutual pining ensues.) The Assistant by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is Poe's assistant and specifically tasked with keeping Ben out of Poe's office.) The Best Medicine by Cecilia1204 (AO3 2019 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Being stuck in hospital for Christmas was enough to make Ben Solo feel really down in the dumps. That is, until he meets two angels in the form of Rey and her amazing cat.) The Curious Case of the Cinnamon Rolls by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The whole office is perplexed - not only perpetually grumpy Alpha Ben Solo developed a mysterious addiction to cinnamon rolls from Irresistible, he also undergoes a magical change of character upon their consumption. What dark secret is behind the innocent pastry? The game is afoot!) The Curious Case of the Custard by thoseindarkness (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a pastry chef, living her dream of owning her own boulangerie. Ben is one of her regulars. They draw closer together in the warm, inviting, carb-filled confines of her kitchen over a shared love of food.) The Elusive Mating Dance of the Porgus Adorabilis by andabatae (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima is a PhD student studying the extremely endangered porg. Her dissertation is almost complete, but there's one phenomenon she has yet to document: the porg mating dance. She's about to witness it for the first time when a plane crash-lands on the island, disrupting both the porgs and Rey's research. Kylo Ren recently inherited Ahch-To, but what does a rich Manhattan playboy want with a deserted rock in the middle of the ocean? His plans to sell it as soon as possible are stymied when he crash-lands on the island and realizes it isn't deserted, after all...) The Exchange by WaterlilyRose (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The Holiday AU with a Reylo take.) The Fake Boyfriend Problem by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rose accidently tells her parents her roommate Rey was bringing her boyfriend for Christmas, instead of telling them she was bringing her own boyfriend Finn, the girls run into an interesting problem.) The Fetch Order by Erulisse17 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Working at the Fetch Order is all Rey ever wanted. She's surrounded by dogs everyday, her coworkers are fun and friendly, and the owners, Leia and Han, care about her like no one else ever has. But when someone breaks in at night to steal Chewie, she has to do everything she can to protect him. Until she finds out that the intruder is Ben Solo, trying to pick up the dog for his parents. ) The Five Times Ben Stole Rey's Halloween Candy and the One Time He Bought Her Some by AnneAnna (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They meet when Ben Solo tries to steal Rey Kenobi's Halloween bucket and Rey hits him over the head the with her plastic lightsaber. They eventually become best friends and then more. This is just all the Halloween Fall Fluff in the world.) The Gift? by Cecilia1204, Frog_heart_00, LostInQueue, MyJediLife, ReyloBrit, SavingWhatILove, Shestoolazytologin (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Best friends Ben and Rey spend their first Christmas together, rather than be alone. Both are too afraid to tell the other they want more than friendship. At Christmas time, what could be a better gift than each other?) The Idiot's Guide to Flirting by Violetwilson (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When he walked into that little bookstore, Ben Solo had no particular expectation of falling head over heels in love. Hell, he didn’t even believe in love until he looked into the eyes of the young woman standing behind the counter, and all at fucking once, Ben Solo is a believer.) The Kiss by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben couldn't be happier to be quarantined together. They get along perfectly and are best friends. Their feelings for each other couldn't possibly get in the way. Until Rey gets assigned to re-create a painting at home for quarantine homework.The painting? Francisco Hayez's The Kiss.) The Knotting Shop by crossingwinter (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben realizes upon entering the shop that he had gotten the complete wrong impression from the name of it. What the fuck sort of shop calls itself The Knotting Shop if it’s not about, well, knotting? The answer, apparently, is a knitter with a sense of humor. An Omega, by the scent that seems to have landed in every colorful ball of yarn in the shop and which hits him right in the groin.) The Life You Always Dreamt Of by KyloTrashForever (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Victorian AU, Quick Synopsis: In 19th century London, Rey is a poor street rat desperate for someone to see her as something more. Little does she know that the mysterious and powerful Skywalker heir has set his sights on on her to become his wife, and will do everything in that power to make her his.) The Mistake of the Mailman by CadomirBane (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's on-campus university address is 'Box 324 Mulberry St, The Bryant Center.' Ben Solo's address is '324 Mulberry St.' And she keeps getting this poor guy's mail.) The New Normal by krossartist, SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Stuck working from home during the pandemic, Rey starts writing notes to her neighbor across the alley.) The Peanut Problem by JJJJ12 (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has never understood why all of Rey’s friends call her Peanut. When he learns it’s because she inadvertently attracts not-so-well endowed men, he makes it his mission to not-so-subtly convey the size of his dick without whipping it out.) The Perfect Pitch by greywilde (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Poe tries to set Rey up at a baseball game with baseball player Ben.) The Perfect Storm by LadyBrettAshley (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's roommate has a fear of thunderstorms, and he's grown accustomed to her crawling into bed with him so she wouldn't have to face them alone. The arrangement works great until he starts to suspect it was all a rouse just to get into his bed.) The Prince Diaries by sunshineflying (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Princess Diaries AU, Quick Synopsis: Just weeks before his eighteenth birthday, Ben's father drops a bomb on him: his grandmother -- whom he hasn't heard from for most of his life -- wants to speak to him. What she has to say has the potential to turn his life upside down.) The Prince of Alderaan & Me by lalaitskelcey (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s daughter steals popcorn from the prince of Alderaan, and a clip of it goes viral, much to Rey’s dismay.) The Revelation by ClaireLou (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey have lived together for 3 years, it was a housemate of convenience type effort. They got on from the start, and are the best of friends..... The thing is, neither of them can see what more they have become. Until Rey comes home one evening shouting "Darling I'm home". Unfortunately Bens date doesn't take to well to that.... Well, until she sees with her own eyes the things these 2 idiots have been missing.) The Road Taken by gogoburritos (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pulls a prank on her housemate Ben. She doesn't expect it to turn out so well.) The Set-up by CajunSpice714 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.) the star to every wandering bark by addictedtoacertainlifestyle (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben Solo travels to Takodana in the name of his second novel, meeting an impossibly intriguing woman named Rey wasn't exactly what he envisioned. But the universe has a funny way of working things out.) The Sublet by javajunkie (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Rose sublet their spare room to Ben Solo.) The Sweater Curse in Reverse by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are roommates. He stresses a bit when Rey starts acting strange, she gives him intense looks while she's crocheting at night and gives him lingering hugs when she comes home to dinner made. Ben fears the worst but soon finds out his roommate is up to something.) the tide is high (but I’m holding on) by KyloTrashForever (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey just wants to see her best friend half-naked, and he’s making it incredibly difficult.) The Ties That Bind by Telcontarian (AO3 2020 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Professor Ben Solo rules the classroom with an iron fist and he is not generally known for his kindness or for his understanding. However, when Rey approaches him to ask for help with her daughter, Kira, Rey finds that Ben is more gentle and caring than she originally thought.) The Unintended Consequences of Single-Seater Cockpit Designs by ItsALilah (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After Crait, Rey vowed to never, ever stick her head out for Kylo Ren again. Unfortunately, she's got marching orders from Poe Dameron of all people to save the Resistance's newest ally, who just happens to be Kylo Ren, and of course, those rescue plans predictably go to Hell. Meaning Rey's not just stuck with Kylo Ren, but sharing an uncomfortably confined space with the newly deposed Supreme Leader. A space that was definitely not designed to fit more than one person.) the water smells like you by shruggyben (AO3 2020 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Harry Potter AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Ben Solo, Ravenclaw dumbass, brews the perfect batch of the strongest love potion in the wizarding world, but accidentally feeds it to his one (1) crush. Adorable panic ensues.) the way I see you by ocjones (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben glides a finger over the painting’s shining face. It’s long since dried, having traveled the slow journey of hills between Naboo and Mortis, yet the varnish is so glossy it almost feels wet to the touch.And there she is: a soft-looking woman, her breasts pillowing over the top of her corset, her hair held lightly back with a band and flowing out behind her. Her delicate fingers grip a book, clasp it in her velvet-clad lap. The smile on her face is as gentle as her portrayal. His wife.) These letters to you by ohemgeeitscoley (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey doesn't think when she calls Ben to go into her emails to send off her draft email with her final to her professor. It isn't until she's off the phone that she remembers all the other draft emails are to him and vary from confessing her love to him and describing in detail what exactly she wants to do to his body.) Threads by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is a cantankerous boss known for throwing away any gift his underlings give him. When newbie Rey decides to knit everyone a scarf for the start of fall, she's warned that Solo will not appreciate it. Everyone is surprised when he shows up the next day wearing it.) Through the Years by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Jakkson meet on the playground as children under unusual circumstances and quickly become best friends. This fic follows them through the years, showing glimpses of their friendship as it slowly progresses into something more.) TikTok and the Professor by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Due to quarantine, Professor Ben Solo decides to download TikTok - an app his students seem to be a fan of - only to find he's the subject of one of his student's videos.) Tinder and Cinder by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey joins tinder after a long long dry spell due to her flatmate Kylo's derision, they argue about why and in a fit of jealousy Kylo screams out 'use me instead.') to climb steep hills by galvanator (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: No one really talks to the new girl who sits in the back of the class. She’s been here a month but kids are afraid of her and teachers are too overworked to be able to solve a problem like Rey. No one really talks to the new girl - except for Ben. A childhood to adulthood love story.) To Have and to Hold by bunilicious (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: “Your husband is gravely injured, my lady.” The envoy’s words should have pleased Lady Rey. After all, her husband was one of the dreaded Norman barons who invaded her beloved country and claimed the lands in the name of the bastard who now called himself king. Ben Solo had stormed her uncle’s keep, killed all the men who opposed their new conquerors, and claimed the stronghold for his own. He took the keep, he took the surrounding lands and, at the new king’s orders, took Rey to wife. Rey should have hated him. But, in the six months following their hasty and undesirable marriage, Rey found that hatred for her new husband was the furthest emotion from her heart and mind.) To Play Pretend by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is tired of being hit on by some of the mums from his daughter's kindergarten class. He asks his friend Rey to come with him to pick up his daughter as his pretend fiancée.) To Say Good Night to You by dawninthemtn (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is living a lonely quarantine when he gets a FaceTime call from a random toddler. He makes friends with the child, and eventually, her mother.) Toy Story XXX: The Legend of the Fainting Goat by andabatae (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has been thirsting after her next door neighbor, Ben Solo, for months. In a fit of sexual frustration, she purchases a sex toy with rave reviews—never expecting that when she uses it, Ben will mistake her screams of pleasure for cries of distress and break down her door to save her...) Traditions gotta start somewhere by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Christmas Tree vignettes of Rey and Ben over the course of their relationship.) Train Wreck by SageMcMae (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's train ticket is mistakenly booked as "Mr. Niima" and she shares an overnight car with Ben.) Trick or Treat, Baby by Everren (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is not in the mood to deal with trick or treaters this Halloween. In fact, he’s taken measures to ensure he doesn’t have to. Can Rey, his next door neighbor and lover of all things Halloween, change his mind?) Trip to the cinema: How bad can it be? by StaticTeeth (AO3 2016 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A college AU with Rey, Ben, Poe and Finn. Poe and Finn being Ben and Rey's besties and they set Ben and Rey up together.) Trope Come True by MWolfe13 (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Grumpy Ben saves Rey.) Turn the Page... Find my Heart by Hellyjellybean, nuta_nchubik (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Author Rey’s new children’s book features a grumpy bunny named Benji who after many trials and tribulations finds friendship and love. What nobody knows is that it’s inspired by Rey’s friend Ben and that it’s her attempt to get him to notice she’s been in love with him for ages.) Twas the night before Sithmas... by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is alone...and he likes it that way. What more does he need on Christmas eve? He has his whiskey and his bitterness to keep him warm. But Christmas magic can do wonderful things, and a visit from a mystical being throws Ben into a world very different from the one he knew. A world were he is married to the love of his life, he is close to his family and a little boy with dark eyes calls him Daddy. But is it all a dream? Or will Ben really get everything he has ever wanted this Christmas?) Two Halves of a Whole Idiot by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After a game of truth or dare, Rey and Ben are stuck literally and figuratively trying to figure each other out.) Understood by Celia_and (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: American movie star Ben Solo gets lost in Paris.) Universally Acknowledged by HerSistersKeeper (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben complains to Phasma about his roommate Rey's obsession with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. It's up to Phasma to explain jealousy to Ben.) Unmasked by SageMcMae (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey meets a masked guy at Maz's annual Halloween party, she is instantly smitten. Her mystery man is perfect -- compassionate, protective and a dedicated Star Wars fan. It's like he was made for her. There's only one problem. She doesn't know Kylo Ren is actually her asshole coworker, Ben Solo.) urgent caring by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: ben meets rey on a visit to the local urgent care, and somehow keeps finding ways to see the cute girl behind the front desk (hopefully not losing an appendage in the process). ) Valentine's Day by PropertyOfThaJoker (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The cat immediately came to Rey, who immediately held it. “He can’t be more than five weeks old, Ben. He’s a baby. It’s cold out here – he’ll freeze to death. We have to take him home.”) Violet Solo Turns 5 by hellocienne (AO3 2021 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Little Violet Solo is Ben’s entire world. His daughter is the most precious person in his life, and he is adamant about doing anything it takes to keep his little girl smiling. Despite Violet’s obvious charm and charisma, not even one of her invited classmates went to her 5th birthday party, and she is about to get an intense meltdown that not even Ben—super dad extraordinaire—could keep under control. Enter Rey Niima—Ben’s coworker who he might or might not be in love with for the last three years. She’s Violet’s (other) favorite person in the whole wide world, and this woman will truly do anything for Ben’s precious little girl. Even if it means sending a group text to her friends who all live in different parts of the city, and inviting their children to attend a spontaneous birthday party.) Volcano Girls by Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's sorority is throwing her a blow-out party to celebrate her 21st birthday. Poe's fraternity is prepared to offer up their last virgin as a sacrifice in her honor. Ben Solo thought he was just there to drop off the beer.) Watches by Celia_and (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: She rides past his shop every morning around 8:42. He starts watching at 8:10, in case she’s early. Her bike is yellow. It suits her. One day he’s brave enough to stand in the doorway, but she doesn’t notice. He retreats.) We Stand Just a Little Too Close by walkingsaladshooter (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Benjamin Chewbacca Solo are you asking me to fake date you as revenge?) We'll tell our kids we met at Starbucks by M1ssJess (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey goes on a date with Poe but ends up spending a much more enjoyable night with his roommate Ben.) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) What a difference a day makes by whateveriguess (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is endlessly grumpy, exacting in his criticism, and irritable. And more than anything else, he's exhausted. Rey is too much. She's too brave, too intent on having her new colleagues like her, and she cares too much. (Brought to you by plotting, Internet articles with shady science, and the company Slack).) What if I want to kiss you tomorrow? by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben needs to share Rey's bed for the night, but does he want to share more than a bed with her? ) when I look to you by blessedreylo (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Harry Potter AU, Quick Synopsis: Best friends since Year Three, Gryffindor's Ben Solo and Rey Niima navigate their final year at Hogwarts. When exposed feelings and unrequited romance get in the way of their friendship, they wonder whether they'll survive the school year.) When Love is Like Pulling Teeth by CaliforniaQueen (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Han sends Rey his favorite mechanic to pick up his son Ben after a dental operation. High on meds, normally arrogant and cold Ben becomes quite the chatterbox.) When the party ends by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey gets wasted at a frat party. Ben finds her, puts her in his room, where she's safe. Rey wakes in the morning after Ben comes out of the shower and nakedness ensues.) when the stars collide by roguewn (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rose and Rey are debating the latest Space Skirmish movie. Rose insists a kiss was romantic and Rey jokes that it was a thank-you-for-saving-me kiss. Rose dares her to kiss the next guy who holds the door open for her.) When You Know It by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben finds out his roommate Rey has never had someone to celebrate valentine's with, so he sends her 25 roses, one for every year she's been alone, in attempt to make her feel better.) Where's my wife? by AverageEpaulet (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey dresses up as Ben's favourite TV character while he's out for drinks. But she's underestimated drunk Ben's loyalty.) wholly to be a fool by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo. Of all people, Ben Solo was her soulmate, and she just had to find out because he had drunkenly professed his love for her, in the middle of the night. Her life was truly some kind of joke.) Why the Chicken Crossed the Road by SpaceWaffleHouse (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Competitive enemies Ben and Rey get into a game of chicken. All is well and fun until Poe challenges them to kiss.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Words Unspoken, Thoughts Unsaid by SteadfastStar (girl_in_a_dream) (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben form some dubious ideas about each other after various encounters on the train. Ben thinks Rey is pregnant. Rey thinks Ben is a virgin. They’re not.) workin' on my fortnite moves by infrarad (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has been babysitting for divorced dad Ben Solo for a while. When he comes home late from work one night and finds her playing his son's favorite game, she offers to teach him.) Working Together and Waking Together by w_k_smith (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Canonverse AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey are two Jedi Knights who have been sent on a mission together. Rey is in love with Ben. Ben is in love with Rey. Neither knows what the other one feels. Both are determined to keep their emotions to themselves. Except, they're undercover - as a married couple. And their room only has one bed. Focusing on the mission might prove difficult.) would you be so kind? by youcarrymeaway (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An au where Ben accidentally hits Rey with his car, and also falls in love with her a little.) Wrong Number, Right Guy by greywilde (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Grandma Padmé texts Ben to invite him for dinner and reminds him he can bring his apple pie but she's mistyped his number and texts a stranger. Rey texts back to let her know she has the wrong number but Padmé invites Rey to join them anyway.) Yes, Daddy by bellestar (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An AU where actor Ben is on the red carpet and photographer Rey can’t get him to look at her so she shouts “YES DADDY” to get his attention and it *works*. He turns around to look at her, smiles, and she gets the perfect shot.) You are (not) a Monster by Saoirse7 (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Werewolf AU, Quick Synopsis: On a full moon night, drunk Rey mistakes a werewolf for a stray puppy. She coos at him and takes him home, feeds him, even washes off the dried mud (blood) on his fur. The next morning, she finds a naked man built like a fridge sleeping on her bedroom floor.) You Make Me Weak by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey decides to faint to get her boss's attention.) You Need a Tutor by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 28 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is an engineering student who finds herself struggling with calculus. Desperate, she goes to the math tutoring center on campus for help. Meanwhile, Ben Solo is a grad student who's required to work a certain amount of hours in the math tutoring center. When Ben reluctantly offers to help Rey with her work, a relationship forms between them that neither are expecting.) you're my boo by murakamism (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's neighbor Ben Solo is the only one who ever shows Halloween spirit around here. When she discovers he's moving out, she's only hurt because that means she won't have anymore competition... right? So she sets out on a plan to make him stay.) You're My Home by CaptainMarvel42 (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben barely had the energy to walk from his car to his apartment door, but he finally made it. He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of a beaming Rey. (Or: they're roommates, and they're both pining.)) You've Got Mail by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen) (AO3 2019 Rated G Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: You've Got Mail Bookshop AU) Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.)

#reylo #fanfic #reylo fanfic

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1143

survey by brock-checkitout

Do you like cheese? Yeah but not to an obsessive extent like most people on the internet seem to be. I have a lower tolerance when it comes to cheeses with stronger or more pungent flavors, and I like sticking to those on the creamy side, like feta and burrata.

What type of shampoo do you use? Dove.

Do turtles make you happy? I mean not as much as dogs would but they are animals, so encountering one would still make me giddy and happy :)))

Name one person who snores in their sleep. Both of my parents, which is why I used to dread whenever we’d book a trip and there’s only one main room available for the 5 of us.

Would you walk around a grocery store with a bra as glasses? Sure, if I was gonna do it for like a cause or something. Or if I got paid for it. I can’t imagine why I’d ever have to casually/randomly do it. Also how would that even work, if it actually had to work as glasses???

Can you do the HoeDown ThrowDown? That movie came out when we were in the midst of moving houses and everything was super hectic in my little 10 year old life, so I never got to wach it, actually. I missed out on the whole Hoedown Throwdown craze and I distinctly remember jealously watching over my classmates as they danced it together.

Do you like Hershey's Chocolate bars? Just the cookies and cream variant.

What smiley face do you use the most? :) I very rarely use others.

What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.

Do you listen to rap? Not so much. For the most part, I stick to my tried and tested albums, like Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne.

Look at something green, does it have batteries in it? That would be a nearby alcohol bottle, and no, it does not need batteries.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say: PRINTER? Ink and paper.

What is the last cuss word you said out loud? Not so sure, but since I commonly say shit and fuck they could serve as safe enough guesses.

Do you like cows? Sure.

What kind of car does your mother drive? These days we split ‘my’ car between us since we sold our third car, which used to be the one she’d usually drive. The new arrangement used to bug me at first because it meant I now had to notify my mom in advance whenever I planned to drive out, but I’ve since gotten used to the setup.

What do you get in your tacos? I don’t eat tacos. Not that I dislike them; there are just many other Mexican dishes I find more filling.

What is your opinion on blueberries? As a flavor, it’s fine. But I actually tried an actual blueberry for the very first time last week when my aunt sent over a blueberry cheesecake - I really wanted to give it a chance, but I still found it nasty :( I really don’t know why I hate fruits so much lmao.

Are you currently wearing lip gloss/chap stick? Nopes.

Is there a bottle of lotion near you? There isn’t.

Name one person that you know that smokes. Sam smokes superexcessively. Like I’ve completely forgotten how much she can smoke in an evening until I hung out with her again a few weeks ago. It was half impressive and half terrifying; and my clothes ended up smelling because of it.

What's your favorite season? We don’t have the usual four seasons, but based on what I’ve seen in media, spring and winter look and feel the most pleasant to me.

Are any of your friends vegetarians? No.

What is one phrase that you hate hearing? “All lives matter” really pisses me off.

Can you name four presidents right now? Rodrigo Duterte, Ramon Magsaysay, Fidel Ramos, Diosdado Macapagal. But because I’m guessing this meant American presidents...George W. Bush, John F. Kennedy, Andrew Jackson, Harry Truman.

What is the first thing you think of when I say: HOOD? A jacket.

Do you currently own a cat? Nope.

What do you think of Ulta? I think of the fact that I’ve never heard of that before and I don’t actually know what this is referring to.

Have you ever walked into a club and asked for a Coke? No.

Do you like classical music? Sure, some.

What is your opinion on Oreos? I had the biscuits like a billion times as a kid to the point that I got sick of them. I will always pick the Oreo flavor in other desserts though, be it cheesecake, cupcake, cookies, milkshakes, tc.

Do you like Chips-Ahoy? No, tastes too artificial/processed. I’ll always go for freshly-baked cookies.

What did ya think of this survey? It was fine. I *think* I haven’t taken this before either, so that’s a plus lol.

survey by carolynnnnonia

1. What time did you wake up this morning? Around 6:30ish.

2. When did you take your default picture? It’s not a photo of me, it’s a still from BoJack Horseman. Years ago I saw someone on Twitter use it as a default and I found it hilarious, so I decided to do the same thing for this blog.

3. Are you hungry? Mmm not so much right now actually. I had a midnight snack that I only got to finish by like 2 AM so I still feel pretty filled.

4. Have you ever cheated on a test? Yup but just once. When I ended up perfecting the exam I cheated on, I felt like a fraud and I’ve never cheated since. I’d rather get an honest 99 than get a 100 that I’m ashamed of, lol.

5. When was the last time you ate ice cream? I think it had been last week when we had a cookies and cream tub in the fridge.

6. What computer game is in your CPU? I don’t play PC games and it’s been a hoooooot minute since I’ve seen a CPU.

7. Do you like Audrey Hepburn? You’ve come to the right person :))) Yup, obsessed. Have watched her entire filmography except for the ones that are impossible to find DVDs of or online.

8. What color is your winter jacket?

9. Do you have any siblings? Yup.

10. Would you call yourself skinny? Not anymore. I’ve filled up a bit over the last few years but I’m still usually seen as thin. I was a lot skinnier in my teens.

11. Does your phone take pictures? Yes, 2008 survey, it does.

12. Who is your favorite neighbor? They’re not really neighbors, but the construction workers who are currently working on a new house from across ours are crazy over Cooper and love to greet him and give him a few pats when I take him out. My actual neighbors are rather quiet and we tend to keep to ourselves.

13. Do you wish at 11:11? No.

14. Have you ever gotten a detention? We don’t have detention here.

15. Do you still watch Disney Channel? Nah, we took out our cable last year because no one was using it anymore. And I doubt there’s anything watchable on Disney Channel for a twentysomething?? Lmao I usually stick to the shows and movies I grew up with, so.

16. Who did you last IM? Angela.

17. Who is your least favorite teacher? Whoever hated me for no reason in middle and high school. Then in college, I had to power through a misogynist, sexist, delusional Duterte-supporting professor for an entire semester as well.

18. What were you doing six hours ago? I was winding down and watching Good Mythical Morning videos to eventually doze off.

19. What is your ringtone? Just the default iPhone ones.

20. Does your door have a dead bolt on it? I had to look this up haha but yeah.

21. Have you ever been to a show? Like, a live shooting of a show? Hmm....I don’t remember ever going to one yet. I remember being invited to one because they needed seat fillers, but I had school at the time and was never available on the day of the shoot.

22. What are some details about your first kiss? Innocent, pure. Even though that person ended up disappointing me, I don’t regret having my first kiss with them.

23. What college do you want to attend/currently attend? I went to UP.

24. Have you had any soda today? No and I most likely won’t.

25. What is your favorite scary movie? Carrie, The Shining, and Evil Dead are some good ones.

26. Do you own a Wii? We used to and it was a big part of my late childhood to my early teens. We had thrown it out years ago, though, because it stopped working.

27. Did you wear shorts today? I currently am wearing shorts, yeah, and I plan on wearing shorts for the rest of the day.

28. Anything fun happening this weekend? There’s an official Kim Seonho fanmeet happening tonight on Facebook and I’m so excited for it lmaaaaaaoooo

29. What shoes did you wear today? One of my sneakers.

30. What is your favorite type of Pop Tart? We only get 5 flavors here in the Philippines, but my favorite is the chocolate fudge one.

31. Do you subscribe to any magazines? Nope.

32. What was the last television show you watched? I didn’t watch it on TV, but I watched a few clips from this show called Caught in Providence on Facebook. I have such a soft spot for that show.

33. Do you know any other languages? If I’m not speaking in English, I use Filipino, yes.

34. Are you wearing anything green? No.

#survey #surveys

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon #honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics #i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop #the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one #long post #discourse #catholicism tw

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thebenzene · 3 years

Text

4th of July

Everything was better in 2008. For the first time in six years, I had a younger sister — my one and only sibling. I was in second grade and I was the most obnoxious in the class. I always receive disciplinary letters from my teachers and my mom used to attend parent-teacher conferences because I was too loquacious and hyper. It was also the year I turned seven. My parents took me to a mall and bought me a Barbie doll. I still remember her appearance. She had a waist-length pony-tailed dark brown hair, blue eyes and dark pink lips, a pink jacket coated in fur sewn with a silvery tube beneath (both designed hanging like a crop top), a pair of pants that I don't know how to call (it fits the doll well from the hips to her knee and it goes baggy hanging until her mid-leg), and a pair of violet stilettos that I wished I had one in real life. I regret giving her top to my childhood friend and lending her violet shoes that my friend in Caloocan dropped in the drainage. I bring that doll with me, almost wherever I go. In the box were teeny-tiny accessories that I barely remember, her mini mirror and the mini comb, and her pink long-sleeved dress (like the pink one in The Princess and The Pauper movie). For a young child like me, my parents bought me that box with the Barbie doll inside when we went at the Toy Kingdom at SM Fairview, because my parents love me — and so I took care of that doll well. I remember how simply that day went, but I was happy. My parents took me to an inflatable play area and I met a child around my age. I don't remember what we talked about. I can only remember the joy jumping inside the play area, the slide, the colorful small balls that you'll land on, and the plastic tree that's being inflated as well. Most importantly, I remember my mom taking video of me with her two megapixel Nokia Supernova phone. God, I wish we were able to keep the file. I was in second grade and I barely remember everything. Yet I am sure, I was definitely happier despite of being bullied almost everyday. It was the year two thousand and eight when my dad subscribed to a pirated Dream TV Cable. The package pretty much came with a hacked card, a satellite, and a tv box where you insert the card and do the settings and stuff. I remember watching Tom & Jerry and the show that scared me truly called Courage the Cowardly Dog during the weekdays after coming home from school. My parents were strict (and still are, for the record). I only got an hour to watch everyday and so I had to remind myself. The tv was situated in my room. Using my red Artline and black Pilot markers, I write on the wall of my room the time I'm supposed to turn off the tv. For example, I started watching at 2:08 pm, I had to turn the tv off at 3:08. Well, I could confidently tell I was a straightass obedient kid at a point in my life. My dad would tune into History Channel after eating dinner. Watching tv after coming home from a long exhausting day of working at Valenzuela became his routine. I remember clearly when we were watching an episode about Berlin, Germany. I asked him, "Tatay, ano 'yung Berlin Wall at bakit may mga kwarto sa ilalim?". Then he explained about the World War 2, the East and West Germany, and the escape tunnels beneath the Berlin Wall. Back in that year, we had no internet connection (just the computer and printer that my parents use in their business) so knowing new pieces of info from the television (that are always elaborated by my dad because I was six) always leave me with amazement.

I miss watching episodes from the Living Asia Channel with my mom. It was a channel featuring wonderful places in Asia. I thought Laos was the Capital of Myanmar because I've read "Laos, Myanmar" in one of their trailers. When we studied geography later in elementary, that's where I realized that the trailer was about Laos and Myanmar and these two are different countries. I also remember watching tv shows back in the day from this channel called Flip TV. I had watched episodes from Buddy n Sol, John en Marsha, Ready na Direk (Herbert Bautista's peak years haha), Barangay Unang Sigaw (the sitcom where I was only familar of Ruby Rodriguez from Eat Bulaga, I still remember the theme song of the show), and some of the old movies that have provinces in the Philippines in their titles.

I miss 2008. I miss my mom buying me sleeveless undershirts printed with Dora and Boots and my name on the chest part of each one. I miss borrowing my mom's phone to take selfies and play games. I miss playing the song entitled Centre of Nowhere by Ladybug Mecca, the default song saved in all the Nokia Supernova phones. I miss 8.8.8. I remember my dad who went home proudly after buying a pair of brown sneakers from a thrift shop for only eight pesos. I can still recall how happy he was. I remember how my mom that I don't know for what reason, was sent an MMS (multimedia message) that has a 26-second clip of Ogie Alcasid's Kung Sakali song. I believe it was for a ring back tone, something you'll hear when someone tries to call you. I think it's just stupid and useless, they may have had a user-recorded voice but offered the song instead. I don't know if the voice status was already a thing before. One thing I'm sure is my mom laughed at that song every time I play it, calling it "kanta yan ng tatay mo sa girlfriend niya dati". hahaha.

I can't believe I spent more than an hour writing this. Thinking of all the memories makes me feel sad and old. It has been thirteen years and I could tell I had a great childhood (minus the bullying and the corporal punishment part). If I can only turn back time just for a second, I will go back to 2008. I miss the year 2008, the year when I wasn't thinking of the past nor the future. I could only care about my family, our tv, and my classmates. I still remember my reaction when I saw my little sister for the first time. My mom was in our Toyota Tamaraw AUV beside the driver's seat after my dad fetched me from a family friend where I stayed when they were in the hospital. For the first time, I saw an infant being caressed by my mom — and it was my sister.

2008 wasn't perfect but it certainly was the year when I was awarely the happiest.

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unabashedrebel · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Characters

In no particular order

1) Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) Can I just say that I love how the reboots, both the movie and the new trilogy of games were phenomenal as a long time fan of this character? They did her right. They focused on her origins, how she came to be this mythic Tomb Raider who delves into the greatest mysteries of the world while fighting against an evil Illuminati type organization.

But she always has tenacity. She always has grit. She’s not always sure of herself, or her abilities, but still continues to do it anyways because it’s the right thing to do. Not to mention I love the whole cultured rich girl who gets her hands dirty literally all the time. I’ve loved everything about her characterization in the last few years.

2) Really the entire FF7 cast but; Tifa Lockhart (FF7) Is anyone actually surprised by this one? Look at my blog. It’s pretty Tifa-rific lately. Honestly I have no good excuse for this, I can’t actually trace back what the reason was that started me on really liking her character. Basically because she’s been my video game wife since I was about 10 years old.

I guess, if I really thought about it, I enjoy her realness. She’s an optimist but not fully in your face about it, she promotes kindness, she’s the mom friend. Always looking out for everyone else at the expense of herself. They’re traits that I really admire in people, and you know what? It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that maybe those feelings were in part brought on by a video game character from my childhood. Not only that but I’ve always loved the story thread with her about the conflict she faces in doing what she believes is the right thing, and the fallout that ensues.

Not only that but she’s a fucking badass.

3) Spider-Man (Peter Parker, Marvel) Shout to to the most relatable super-hero ever created. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Spider-man is a staple of New York, even if he’s fictional. He’s just... boiled down to that essence of a Queens kid. It’s amazing as someone from around this area.

But seriously, I think I like Peter the most because he really is relatable. He really does worry about the same things I find myself worrying about. He really does shoot out quips like that’s his super power. He really does try and do whats right regardless of what others think. He’s conflicted, he’s unsure of himself, he’s been granted this great power and feels the need to go out and help people with it, and again at great personal expense. He’s, to me? What a hero should be.

I guess I like him so much because I see a lot of myself in him. I can relate and put myself in those shoes. I can relate my experiences to his, and i’m not talking about getting bit by a radioactive spider. I’m talking about the human side to Peter Parker. His stresses when he’s out of the tights.

4) Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher, and again I love all the characters Geralts just tops. Ciri was a close second.) Yeah, yeah call me out and say ‘someone just binged’. YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DID FOR THE SECOND TIME YOU CANT STOP ME.

Seriously though. For a character who does not like being social? Geralt is so beautifully written for. Fun fact, I haven’t actually played the games save for the half way through 2 and the intro to 3. But I read the first novel and I’m working my way through the second, and Geralt? He’s a man of few words. But when he does speak? Everybody fucking listens.

5) Kassandra (AC: Odyssey) Uhhhh, first women to win the wrestling Olympics? How could I not.

As a long time fan of Assassins Creed and the wonderfully written characters that I have been lucky enough to get to know as protagonists? Kassandra takes the cake. She was blunt, sassy, smart, and took nobodies shit. Forever has she branded the word Misthios in my head with that Greek twang. To the point where I get excited when I hear it.

Maybe it was a mix of being in the Ancient Greek world with her, another one of my favorites. But there was just something about her character that stuck out to me. Something I haven’t seen in their writing since Ezio.

6) Joel (The Last of Us) How the fuck could I not love the gruff and sad dad?

Dude the characters in this game were so insanely well done. Like you could literally tell that, besides the fact that it was an amazingly fun game? The dev team TRULY cared about the story, the reception, and the buildup.

Lets be real. That first scene with him when everything starts is about as heartbreaking as it comes. It sets you up to really accept that this man has lost everything, that he no longer cares about anything but survival, because he’s already learned that when you care? Those things can be easily taken away.

He’s cold. He’s quick. He’s capable. He’s ignorant to everyone else. Right up until he meets Ellie and that little girl begins to peel back the layers and show that Joel, under it all, is actually a pretty good guy who has been dealing with his trauma by building up walls.

All and all? I would recommend anyone playing this game just to see the transition of Joel. Ellie, as well, by no small measure. But Joel’s growth was one of my favorite things to ever watch unfold in a game.

7) Revan (Star Wars) Okay so I know this ones a bit obscure. He was actually featured as a protagonist of one of Star War, in my opinion, best roleplaying games.

Basically I love this character because I think he actually GETS the whole thing. The cults. He doesn’t really subscribe to either of them, rather he’s used them to further his own goals. Which you know, as an RPG you get to chose, usually I like to chose he did what he did for the right reasons. Because the Jedi were failing the people they had to protect. Because he couldn’t stand by and watch a war be fought while they deliberated what to do. He never fully reasoned with the Sith, and as far as I knew didn’t quite care to share their extremist values. Frankly, he’s by far been the best representation to what I feel is a very opinionated debate in Star Wars: Why chose either side? They both suck in their own ways.

He saw passed all that, started a movement, started a war of ideologies when the universe was still young enough to hear those kinds of debates play out.

His story will forever be one of my absolute favorites in Star Wars.

8) Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars) If you haven’t watched the Clone Wars animated series and you’re a fan of Star Wars? What the fuck are you doing. This character alone is enough to justify the 7 season watch.

The Padawan of Anakin Skywalker. How can that go wrong, right? Actually, Ahsoka is one of the reasons I began to like Anakin in the first place. The whole series shows a different side to characters we love, honestly, you got to see Anakin be the best Jedi general anyone had ever seen. You got to see him train this young woman into an incredible Jedi, and honestly? The younger sister relationship that Ahsoka has with Anakin is just so well done.

But beyond that there’s so much to love about Ahsoka. If you haven’t caught the theme, I really do love strong characters who still have flaws. Who still have a lot to learn. Who make mistakes. But even after she had, never once did Ahsoka give up on what she believed in. Her values, in the end, proving to be stronger to her then the values instilled by the Jedi, even if they aligned.

My favorite thing is that you got to see her journey, literally from a learning padawan to a fully fledged Jedi badass.

If we don’t get an Ahsoka series on Disney+ I’m gonna be pissed.

9) Nathan Drake (Uncharted) Cheeky rogue with a heart of gold that often gets by on sheer luck alone.

Need I say more?

10) Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer) Okay, so don’t really expect many people to know this one.This character is the main protagonist in an anime that has literally taken all my attention. From the animation, to the story, to the undeniable ways in inspires me to write Sori.

Tanjiro, perhaps, is the driving force behind this. I just love this kid okay? He started out as NOTHING. Literally, nothing. He fought against overwhelming odds, knowing full well he would die, to save his sister. And in that moment? The person he was fighting let him go. He then sent him down the path of becoming a demon slayer.

This kid, who as far as I know was part of a large family of commoners gave everything he had to training his body to fight demons. Every time he stumbled, he found the strength to continue. He never gives up. He learns, he thinks, he’s a smart kid with this absolute bottomless well of determination.

I don’t want to ruin the plot of the anime too much because honestly this has been my favorite thing since Dragonball Super. You should go watch it. I promise you will understand right off the bat why I love this character so much.

I was tagged by: @serelia-evensong @safrona-shadowsun

Gonna tag: @draenei-tales @wildname @zeehva @ravensteel @fair-fae @monster-of-master @palaceofthedeadmemes @zariasilverleaf @starforger @asharinhun

I’m also not sorry this is a long post. How dare you ask me to talk about shit I love.

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womenofcolor15 · 5 years

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Zhuri James Got An IG & YouTube Channel For Christmas & We’re All Better For It

Zhuri James - LeBron & Savannah James' daughter - copped some social media handles for Christmas. And her gift is everything we didn't know we needed. More inside....

Look out social media influencers & YouTubers!

Zhuri James – the adorable daughter of NBA superstar LeBron James and his bomb wife Savannah James – is comingfor the social media crown! Mom & dad gave their 5-year-old (the youngest in the James Gang) the greenlight on Christmas. Now, she’s gearing up to take over social media. And we’re better for it because we stan all of her fabulous over-the-topness her parents have been posting.

View this post on Instagram

Introducing #AllThingsZhuri!! Merry Christmas everyone!! Can’t wait to share more from Zhuri starting January 1st!! Check out Zhuri’s YouTube channel and subscribe today! (Link in bio) What questions do you have for Zhuri!? Drop them below!! Happy holidays!!!

A post shared by All Things Zhuri (@allthingszhuri) on Dec 25, 2019 at 11:55am PST

Proud dad King James hopped on his own Instagram to announce his daughter's IG handle and YouTube. He also let everyone know when to start checking for her content.

View this post on Instagram

My baby Z starting off the new year coming up with a bang!!! Starting Jan 1st, 2020 @allthingszhuri will be live! Make sure y’all follow on IG and subscribe to her channel on YouTube as well! Proud of you Zhuri Nova Ann Marie James. #ProudPapa #JamesGang

A post shared by LeBron James (@kingjames) on Dec 25, 2019 at 3:14pm PST

"My baby Z starting off the new year coming up with a bang!!!," he wrote. "Starting Jan 1st, 2020 @allthingszhuri will be live! Make sure y’all follow on IG and subscribe to her channel on YouTube as well! Proud of you Zhuri Nova Ann Marie James #ProudPapa #JamesGang"

Aww!

Mama James also posted up an announcement on her IG account as well:

View this post on Instagram

All Things Zhuri is coming!!! January 1st 2020 This is going to be fun!! Follow @allthingszhuri on IG and subscribe on @youtube

A post shared by @ mrs_savannahrj on Dec 25, 2019 at 2:10pm PST

"All Things Zhuri is coming!!! January 1st 2020 This is going to be fun!! Follow @allthingszhuri on IG and subscribe on @youtube," Savannah wrote.

Her big brother LeBron "Bronny" James Jr. also showed her some love:

View this post on Instagram

Follow and Subscribe to Zhuri @allthingszhuri on instagram and youtube

A post shared by 0. (@bronny) on Dec 25, 2019 at 2:27pm PST

While her accounts don't start cranking out content until January 1st, Zhuri has posted an introduction video and clearly she's a NATURAL. "All Things Zhuri" will take viewers on a journey from her point of view. They'll be episodes of Zhuri + Friends, that will feature her parents, LeBron and Savannah James, her brothers, Bronny and Bryce, and of course, her French Bulldog, Indigo! Omg. We can't even.

"I'm five years old in preschool, but I got a lot going on," she said in her intro clip.

Watch her in action below:

youtube

Sis is about to change the game!

Papa James must be turning a new leaf when it comes to his kids having social media accounts. Back in May, he finally let his eldest son, Bronny James, cop his own account. We're not sure if his middle child, Bryce Maximus James, has any social media accounts yet. We searched and only found an unofficial page.

View this post on Instagram

I'm so excited to announce that my YouTube channel is launching January 1st! ⁠ Please like and subscribe today! Link in bio ⁠ Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! ⁠ See you in 2020!⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ #AllThingsZhuri #ZhuriNova #LeBronJames #SavannahJames #blogger #kidsblog #bloglife #blogging #youtube #youtubeblog #vlogging #vlog #kidvlogger #lifestyle #blackgirlmagic #curlygirl #adventure #comingsoon #bronny #bryce #family #familyfirst⁠ #jamesgang

A post shared by All Things Zhuri (@allthingszhuri) on Dec 25, 2019 at 12:19pm PST

View this post on Instagram

Look who’s Instagram official now! #ZhuriNovaJames just blessed us with her own IG page and Youtube channel. Adorbs! #YBFKids #LebronJames #SavannahJames

A post shared by TheYBF (@theybf_daily) on Dec 25, 2019 at 6:23pm PST

Turn those post notifications on. Zhuri James is about to take over 2020 and we're here for the all kiddie cuteness.

Photo: Zhuri's IG

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/12/26/zhuri-james-got-an-ig-youtube-channel-for-christmas-we%E2%80%99re-all-better-for-it

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himynameisjackie · 5 years

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sorry i’m just gonna keep going off about endgame until i figure out how to launch myself onto the surface of the sun i guess

here’s the deal, the MCU’s Sam Wilson is so important to me. That character makes me feel a lot of feelings. The way he loves and devotes himself to Steve so wholly is aspirational to me, and the way he fails to ever express his feelings for Steve verbally is cautionary. The way all three of those Captain America boys somewhat recklessly navigate the intimacy they share means a lot to me, as someone who loves deeply but struggles to define what exactly queer intimacy and partnership looks like/means to me.

This is not just something I’ve headcanon’ed, these moments and tensions and intimacies are all explicitly laid out in the text of Civil War and The Winter Soldier, even if they’re not explicitly labeled romantic. The stories of those movies are deeply queer and deeply meaningful to me. And I’m clearly not alone in that because the ships of those 3 characters, in every permutation imaginable, hold similar importance to lots and lots and lots of people.

I just don’t know how I could’ve been a bigger fan of these movies, ya know? I saw most of those movies MULTIPLE TIMES in theaters, I’ve made a couple fan videos, I made a whole damn podcast about the MCU, I’ve watched every episode of Agents of SHIELD, I’ve engaged with the studio on social media, I’ve paid to rent most of these movies on Amazon and intend to subscribe to Disney+ solely to stream Marvel content. And so to say that the things I value as a fan, the moments and dynamics where I have felt myself on screen, are less important than pander-y things like fulfilling the straight Peggy Carter love story, having Steve lift Mjolnir (???), having to pretend I care about Clint, letting Thor talk to his mom who used to always make sex eyes at her kids... ugh idk, it just makes me feel really bad about myself. Like I love this thing so much and the people who made it don’t even care if i love it.

and what sucks is that I still love this thing! I’m going to watch the Agents of SHIELD premiere as soon as I possibly can! I can’t wait until Spider-Man: Far From Home! I’m prolly gonna see Endgame at LEAST one more time. I still watch fan videos every damn day and I still care so deeply about these characters. I’m not gonna stop loving this thing just because its creators don’t care about me. i still agree with their ideas and most of their decisions and want to see what they do next...

But i’ve never felt more viscerally like no one cares if i’m in the audience, like the decision makers on a project simply don’t care about me. Not even like they disagree with me or don’t care about my opinion, just like they don’t care if i’m watching at all. The only other time the MCU has made me feel that way was when there were all those butts in Iron Man 2 and at least IM2 is a bad movie. Endgame is very good. It just also makes me feel like i don’t matter at all. I wish it was bad.

and then absolutely FUCK you for making a big deal about this ~explicitly gay character~ when Carol AND Bucky AND Sam AND Steve AND Maria have all been out here telling clearly queer stories without saying it out loud. To say that’s the first ~openly gay MCU character~ as if that matters at all. Label your already queer narratives as queer. Let your gay characters kiss each other. Let Valkyrie be gay!!! You do not get to ignore the queerness of your implicitly queer characters and then turn around and ask me to THANK you for that absolute bullshit.

#endgame #mcu #sam wilson #stucky #samsteve #endgame spoilers #avengers

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krimto-basi-hahm · 5 years

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how I became friends with brandon rogers: not clickbait

i’ve been making some more brandon friends on here, and I realized that a lot of y’all don’t know my story. I would love to tell it here! for those of you that don’t know him or care, feel free to scroll past lol

(and this whole story updated to the end of 2018 is available here)

2015/2016

I actually found his channel through his first youtubers react episode in december of 2015, but I clicked away because his videos looked stupid to me, lol. after watching the teens react to try me bench, I clicked on a video for the first time (grandpa hates valentimes) in late june of 2016. I grew obsessed QUICKLY. like, I was a full-blown stan in the matter of a few days. I made my fan account on july 7, 2016. unfortunately, the account was taken down by instagram this year. anyway, I also started a youtube channel and made a video for him for his 28th birthday. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for making this! I was a theater kid too for many, many years!!! I’m glad you’ve been able to find inspiration, never give up on your dreams!! I worked many shirt jobs for 10 years before any success, and would’ve done so for the rest of my life until I did!”

a few months later, I got some friends together and made another video for his 2 million subscriber milestone. he also saw this one and commented:

“Wow, I can’t believe I have such amazing fans who would’ve taken the time to make this for me!! Thank you SO much!!! I’m so happy to hear that people are finding friends through my videos, that’s amazing!!!! ❤️❤️❤️thanks for making this, to all of you!! Much love from the bottom of my heart!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!”

the rest of 2016 was pretty boring, so we’ll skip to 2017!!

2017

for those of you that don’t know, playlist live is a 3-day youtube convention in orlando, florida. I begged my mom to go every year since 2014, and she finally let me go this year. this also was the first year brandon attended!! I decided to make him a jar filled with reasons why his fans loved him, and I gave it to him at the event. I met him for the very first time on may 6, 2017 in the lobby at playlist.

our meet-and-great was scheduled for may 7, so we also met then.

the next day coming home, I just assumed he would forget about me and move on. I was wrong! I received this dm from him over facebook messenger:

I was SHOOK!! I felt so happy that I was able to help him that much when he was going through a hard time. anyway, the next thing I did was make the 3 million subscriber special video and 29th birthday video. he only saw the first one and commented:

“Wow, how have I not seen this yet?!? Thank you so much to each of you for making this video for me!!! This really touched me ☺️ thank you!!!!!!!”

in august, he finally accepted my friend request on facebook!! this was insanely cool because he obviously has a much smaller audience there, and I was able to get his attention easier and work towards really becoming his friend. with our facebook friendship, brandon was able to start to get into my personal life, which was really cool. he commented the nicest well-wishes when I came out of surgery and even wished me a happy birthday!! this year was also when I started working on my next present for him: the book of brandon. this book incorporated fan art, letters, and more. I was able to give it to him at playlist live 2018, so you’ll see me mention this later. onto 2018!!

2018

the beginning of the year started off quite strong, with my debate teacher giving us the assignment to write a speech about our hero. I did not hesitate to write a LONG speech about brandon and post it here. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for this, it touched my heart and I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this video until now!! Feeling the love!!”

a few months later, playlist live 2018 rolled around!! before our meetup on april 28, 2018, I jokingly said to my mom, “what if he was just like, ‘oh hey sophie!’?” sure enough, that is EXACTLY what he said as soon as he saw me! the full video of this meetup can be found here, but I’ll summarize if you’re too lazy to watch it. he immediately thanked me for my speech, obsessed over the book I made for him, and basically talked to me like we were good friends. it was MAGICAL.

I didn’t think I would be seeing brandon again in 2018. well, I was wrong. his tour came around, and he announced a performance in tampa, florida on july 15. I was ECSTATIC. unfortunately, I was out of good sentimental ideas for gifts. I made him a wall calendar full of bad pictures of him, as well as a friendship necklace and a letter. at the show, he was looking for audience participation to come up onstage and act out a “fake date.” when he saw me, he said, “omg, this is one of my biggest fans! miss sophie, I recognize you! please come up here.” I was able to watch his entire show from the stage, and even drank from a glass he took a huge sip out of. at the meet-and-greet, we talked just like good friends once again and he gushed about my gifts and videos. he even bragged about me to my parents!

with august rolling around, I made another video for his 30th birthday. of course, he saw and commented. I think this one was his favorite!

“Awww thank you all SO MUCH for making this!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm incredibly blessed to have friends like each of you. Love you all to the moon and back, thank you for making my birthday that much sweeter! :D And thank you Sophie for taking the time to compile this! Take care!!! EDIT: I just made it to the end of the video. fork. I am feelin more touched than a child in prison. I look at many of you and see a younger me, especially you Sophie. I've always felt like an outcast for most of my life; never thought I'd find so many like-minded people. Thank you all so much for taking the time to do this!!!“

a month later, when I was sick in bed, I got the greatest news. brandon was coming to florida AGAIN! this time on november 25 in ft. lauderdale. I couldn’t believe he would schedule two tour stops in florida! this was also his very last stop, so it was a very special show. still out of big gift ideas, I made him a basket filled with lots of small gifts. at every tour stop, he would do a q&a for 10-15 minutes. as soon as he saw me in the audience while starting the q&a, he said “oh my gosh. this is sophie everyone...” I wish I could remember everything he said, but he mentioned how much I’ve done for him as a fan. even though he wasn’t planning on bringing anyone up onstage, he asked me to come onstage with him and help him with the q&a. brandon gave me the power of picking who he would come to in the audience, as well as asking me to answer some of his questions and really including me through the whole process. he even told me he would love to have me in a video!!! pure magic. I have clips of video from this show, so dm me if you would like to see them!!

the last thing that happened in this year was him wishing me a happy birthday again. onto 2019!!

2019

the main thing I’ll be talking about in 2019 is playlist live because that’s the main interesting event of this year so far. a few days before the event, rachel williams (his manager) gave me her phone number to coordinate with them to hang out there!! I made him a big gift bag because I was STILL out of ideas for bigger gifts. on march 2, we had our meetup. he asked the meetup attendant if he could have some extra time with me because I’m “one of his biggest fans”. he then proceeds to tell me...

“I got something for you!”

WHAT? he gives me the gift, and I give him his. we talk briefly before the attendant ushers me along. the two other people there were jon cozart and mac kahey, who both said to me “oh YOU’RE sophie! brandon was telling us all about you!” WHAT? it was a lot to process.

I open the gift and see that he has given me THE shirt BOOK from stuff & sam, THE HEART from blame the hero, a stuff & sam shirt, and a card!!! WHAT? again, a lot to process.

unfortunately, I never got to hang out with brandon and rachel because I got really sick the next day. however, they were both so understanding and carved out a few minutes to see me before I left!!

overall, this year, we have become a lot more comfortable with each other both in person and online, really talking just like friends. I am so incredibly grateful for him and everything he has done over the years.

omg thank you for reading all of this!! dm me to talk or gush about brandon or be friends whatever man love y’all!!

#my post #long post #brandon rogers #youtubers #hotbananastud #fan #fan story #stuff and sam #blame the hero

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tosinworld · 5 years

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MOM, DON’T WORRY

Why did I love single moms when I am not one?

Okay, I will tell you a small story. I was not yet six year old when my parent separated due to the domestic violence issue... Wait before I go far, both of them are now together after 26years of separation. Good news, right? Hmn! But some deeds could not be undone. The pain of struggling and doing it all alone by my mom, the abuse and suffering, anxiety, depression that comes with it can not be overemphasized...Is not time to recount the past.

I just want to say mom (a single mother reading this) don’t worry. Is a function of time, your pain will soon be forgotten; your struggle will soon be over because your children will grow up to pay you back. However; you have a role to play in making that happen:

1. You must be willing to sacrifice for your children

Your children are your tomorrow, don’t keep hustling and neglect them. You can’t afford to let your child stay with people that will abuse them, and they may not tell you. You don’t want to keep partying while their academics are suffering. I am not saying you should not have fun, but don’t do it at the detriment of your children’s future. Sacrifice the time to check their school work, listen to them, attend their performance or game at school and so on, and you need to sacrifice, I know it is not easy.

2. Talk to your children like a friend

You have to discipline your children with love and discipline your child without embarrassing or cursing them in the house or publicly. Pardon my stereotype, but it seems to be an “African Mama’s syndrome,” to never correct their children without yelling- I was once guilty, don’t think I exclude myself (wink**). Just stop screaming and shouting on your kids outside. Stop threatening them about sending them away or send them to live with their father. A child from a domestic violence home is low on self-esteem already don’t keep them lower with fear, terror, intimidation...

Let your presence brings them joy. Fear of you is not a substitute for love and respect. Build them up in love, and you will earn respect and cordial relationship in your old age.

Being a friend to your child is also a defense against the enemy, they are not afraid to come back and tell you what happens while they or you are away. They will trust you, and you will be building a child of honor, power, and confidence, only when you show up as a friend.

3. Give your children what you can afford, especially the basic needs.

When it comes to basic needs, I give kudos to my mom.

Don’t overdress when your kids are wearing rags. Manage what you have. Things will change for you. One of the reasons for my low self-esteem a child was because I had to wear oversized clothes and shoes, sometimes is “my sister dash me” (a gift from someone older than I do or mom bought it from a thrift store. It was not for a mean intention; she buys oversize so that I won’t outgrow it in time, unfortunately by the time the cloths fits, is already becoming a rag (smiles**).

Okay now! What about the oversize shoes, the shoe will be padded with lots of cushion pieces of stuff or toilet paper. Still, the shoe will have to run after me (laughs**) because as I take a step, my leg will keep slipping out of the shoes. You see that was over. Are you at that point of buying embarrassing oversize stuff for your children now? Don’t worry; it will soon be over. But please, if you can, try not to let your kids put on oversize, especially your teens. If the clothes are just five (5) pieces, let it be neat and well combined, NO to oversize(my opinion)

4. Feed your children well.

Yes, sometimes we might not have food to eat as my struggling single mum often hit rock bottom. But as soon as someone comes to our rescue or she gets back on her feet, we eat the best, and balanced diet that is not even so expensive. I mean homemade nutritious meal.

Also from her, I learned how to manage what I have with contentment in time of need.

I remember neighbors asking if I have eaten and I will say “I am okay” even when I have not. I remember when neighbors give us food, we cover it till mom comes back and authorize us to either eat or trash it (as the spirit leads, smiles*).

Those were virtues that makeup contentment.

That too will pass away if you are at that point at the moment. Don’t give up; keep nurturing your children.

5. Put your finances together

Single parenting can be very tough; I mean tight. Oh! Am I even telling you? If you are a single mom, you know what I am talking about, right? But when financial stress is out of the list in your life, the rest is probably health or emotions to deal.

No matter what, cultivate savings habit. Is not about saving a lot, is about consistently saving the little, Patrice Washington is someone to follow on financial issues.

Many single moms are hustlers. You know how to make money and spend all on your children, but you don’t know how to grow and invest it. Financial education is a must if you want to build generational wealth. Go and read books, watch youtube videos on financial literacy, and build a world of your own. It might take time, but it is possible. Download free books on an issue you are dealing with from this link

6. Manage your emotions

Single mothers always think they are stressed and sincerely you are for real stressed. But the truth is your children will be more stressed as a result of your emotional roller coaster. I grew up with so much fear and anxiety from my mum’s transferred aggression our of the stress of single parenting.

Low self-esteem was another issue I battled with until I was able to know who I am and the low self-esteem comes from teasing and the thought of not having a father in my life as a child.

I always thought everyone who has their parents together is better than me, as I began to understand life, it was clear that many homes were on fire but only pretended to be okay from afar.

Long story short, anxiety, anger, depression is very common to most single mothers for so many reasons. They carry responsibilities alone often, care solely, make decisions alone, and many more, haba (why?)!!! That is overwhelming enough.

So, here is the secret, learn, to breath, meditate, and speak to your children without emotions. Mothers, watch out for my videos on managing emotions as a single mother on Sunday via my YouTube channel (Tosin Opeoluwa).

Please click this link and subscribe to my youtube channel, remember to hit the notification bell to get the latest videos that inspire single moms from me if you are inspired. Give me a thumb up and share with friends and family.

I love and celebrate you, single moms.

It’s your girl, ‘Tosin Opeoluwa-Inspiring Single Moms

Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, also check in to my new Facebook community Inspiring Single Moms.

Thank you.

#singlemom #managing emotions #finances for single moms

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

… was the last person you saw face to face?

My mom.

… was the last person you texted or messaged online? My aunt.

… was the last person who asked you for a favour? My mom earlier.

… was the last person you lent something to? I don’t recall.

… was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Probably my aunt.

… is the tallest person you know? My brother.

… the shortest person you know? Me, ha.

… your oldest (in years) friend? I don’t have any friends.

… is the oldest (in length of time) friend? --

… is your youngest friend? --

… is your newest friend? --

… is your closest relative? My mom and brother.

… was your favourite teacher? My 4th, who also ended up being my 8th, grade teacher.

… was your least favourite teacher? These two math professors I had at community college. They were really rude.

… did you spend the most time with when growing up? My parents, cousins, and grandparents.

… knows you the best? My mom. And ya’ll, ha.

… always beats you in games or sports? I don’t do a lot of competitive stuff, but let’s be real everyone would probably beat me cause I suck at everything.

… who is the most creative of the people you know? I have a few artistic and creative family members. I sadly did not get the gene.

… is the funniest person you know? My brother.

… is the most organised that you know? One of my aunts.

… that you know has travelled the most? My paternal grandparents and one of my uncles.

… has always been there for you? My family, especially my mom.

… has given you the most personal gift? What’s a personal gift, exactly?

… has an annoying laugh? *shrug*

… never forgets a birthday? I think I’m pretty good about that.

… do you live with? My parents, brother, and doggo.

…,do you have the most in common with? My mom and brother.

…is the sportiest person you know? My dad.

…was your last missed call? A spam call.

…did you last open your door for? Delivery person.

… has your heart? Me.

…do you share a special song with? No one.

…do you miss right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

…last made you angry? Not sure about a who, but situations and circumstances lately have.

…did you last buy a gift for? My dad for Father’s Day.

…did you celebrate your last birthday with? My parents and brother.

…have you gone to a concert with? A former friend.

…can make you laugh? My family.

…has taught you how to do something? Teachers.

…has lost something of yours? Hmm.

…has broke your heart? A couple of people.

…has stood you up? Joseph.

:: What ::

...I

s your favourite colour?

...Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, yellow.

...Can you do that most your friends can’t? ---

...Is your birthday? July 28th, mark your calendars.

...Colour eyes do you have? Brown.

...Form of transport do you take to work/school? I don’t work/done with school.

...Music do you like to listen to in the car? My parents and brother each play their Spotify playlists in their cars, so I hear whoever’s playlist of the car I’m in.

...Languages can you speak? I’m only fluent in English, but I know a little Spanish. ...Was the last thing you drank? Water.

...Was the last thing you ate? 4 over-easy eggs, loaded hash browns (shredded cheese, country gravy, and onions), and toast with strawberry jam from Denny’s.

...Time did you wake up this morning? Around 8.

...Colour are your bedroom walls? White.

...Drink do you usually order when eating out? Coffee.

..Food can you cook well? Just ramen.

...Animals have you had for a pet? Doggos, fish, and a couple of hamsters.

...Are your initials? ---

...Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I don’t do anything different.

...Movie do you know line by line? There’s a few.

...Band(s) have you seen in concert? I’ve seen several.

...Do you buy/get to treat yourself? Depends what I want.

...Colours your phone cover? It’s a clear one.

...Part of the world would you love to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

...Subject were you good at in school? English.

...Careers do your parents have? My mom works at Walgreens and my dad works at a car repair shop.

...Brand of clothing do you buy most often? Most of my clothes are from Boxlunch, Hot Topic, and Kohl’s.

...Chocolate bar is your favourite? White chocolate.

...TV show have you watched every series of? There’s a ton.

...Radio station do you listen to the most? I haven’t listened to the radio for like 4-5 years now.

...Podcasts are you subscribed to? None.

...Is your favourite dessert? Milkshakes, ice cream, brownies, cheesecake, cookies, cupcakes, donuts, muffins.

...Can’t you do that most around you seem to? >> Function. <<<

...Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Someone I can confide in, someone that’s easy to be around, good listener, loyal, understanding.

...Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? Patient, understanding, caring, good sense of humor, loyal.

...Size pizza do you usually order? It depends. If my family and I are all getting pizza, we usually get 2 mediums ad one of those are the toppings of my choosing and they’ll have some of that as well as the pizza of their choosing (I’m the picky one that’s why we get two, ha). If I’m just getting pizza then I’ll get a personal.

...Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I love Italian, Mexican, and Chinese food. I’m not a cook except for ramen.

...Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black.

...Toothpaste brand do you use? Sensodyne.

...Sounds can you hear right now? ASMR video, my fans, and the TV.

...Is the weather like today? It’s currently 90F.

...Are your plans for tomorrow? Just another day.

:: Where ::

...

Do you keep your phone when not using it?

It’s usually always near me somewhere.

...Were you born? California.

...Do you go to unwind? My bed. And the beach when I’m able, which isn’t often. :( I wish I lived near one cause I’d be there a lot.

...Is your best friend right now? Work.

...Can you go nearby to have a good time? My city is lame.

...Is the nearest restaurant? Not even a 5 minute drive from my house.

...Is the nearest beach? About 2 1/2 hours away.

...Did you meet your closest friend? --

...Did you go for your last vacation? I went to Disneyland last year and it ended up being right before the pandemic and lockdown stuff happened. Like literally two weeks before.

...Is the nearest mall or superstore? About a 10 minute drive.

...Did you last get an injury? I don’t remember.

...Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? I’ve stayed at nice hotels.

...Do most the local kids play? *shrug*

...Have you been with your family? Uhh, lots of places?

...Did you spend Christmas last year? At home.

...Did your parents grow up? My mom has lived here all her life and my dad moved around a bit coast to coast.

...Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I'm not wearing shoes, but no I didn’t buy the pair I last wore.

...Would you like to go right now if you could? Somewhere with cool weather and a beach.

...Do you miss the most from your childhood? Being a kid.

...Is the best restaurant you know? Wingstop.

...Will you never go again as it was so bad? I haven’t had that bad of a restaurant experience.

:: When ::

was your last vacation? ...February of last year.

…did you graduate? I graduated UC in 2015.

…did you decide what career you wanted? My freshman year of high school.

…did you have your first kiss? I was 16.

…did you learn how to swim? I haven’t.

…did you have your first relationship? 2005.

…did you meet your best friend? She’s my mo.

…do you feel the most at peace? At the beach is the closest I get to that.

…do you usually fall asleep? When the sun is almost rising or already has.

…do you usually wake up? Between like 9 and 12.

…did you last watch a movie? I saw A Quiet Place 2 a few weeks ago.

…did you last go to a party? A few weekends ago to my bro’s grad party.

…did you last cry? Yesterday. It’s a daily thing nowadays, at least once. Usually more.

…did you laugh really hard? I don’t remember.

…did you buy something pricey last? For Mother’s Day.

…did you have an argument last? Recently.

…did you last have a sick day? All the time?

…did you last recieve a hug? The other day.

…when is your best friend’s birthday? September.

…did you learn how to drive? I haven’t.

…did you last receive a surprise? I received a bad, unexpected one recently.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have?

One.

Many houses have you lived in? A few.

Often do you shower? About every 2-3 days.

Well can you cook? I only cook ramen.

Many close friends do you have? None.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? I have two brothers.

Often do you go swimming? I don't.

Many times have you texted today? Zero.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? A light brown with butter or jelly.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? I like a packet or two of sweetener with my tea and flavored cream or cream and sugar with my coffee.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? Just chill and lowkey.

Are you feeling today? Hot and tired and meh.

Serious are you about your career goals? I’m not even doing anything in regards to that as of now. I have no idea what I want to do and I can’t put the time, energy, focus, or effort to figure it out at this time. I’m dealing with and focusing on my health and can’t work right now anyway.

Many bedrooms in your house? 2 bedrooms.

Did you do in your school exams? I did well.

Close do you live to your parents? I live with my parents.

Close do you live to your siblings? I live with my younger brother and my older brother doesn’t live far away.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I’m sensitive, but it’s definitely gotten worse in recent years.

Motivated to make changes are you? That’s something I’ve been struggling with and it’s certainly doing me no favors. :/

Creative are you (1-10): I missed the creative gene.

Hard working are you (1-10): Not very much at all anymore. :/

Sporty are you (1-10): Not at all.

Musical are you (1-10): I don’t play any instruments. Do you prefer your eggs? Over-easy, scrambled, deviled, hard boiled.

Often do you go out to eat? I get takeout a lot. I just started going out to eat again recently, having been to Denny’s twice now in the past week. It’s a new tradition my mom and I are starting couple or so times a week when we go for a morning walk.

Would your best friend describe you? Meh.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? It’s honestly better to just leave me alone.

Often do you meet up with your friends? ---

Important is religion to you? My faith is very important to me.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? *shrug* I was a kid.

Old were you when you got your first pet? Like 3.

Tech savvy are you? Eh, I know some stuff.

Often do you cut your hair? It’s been over a year since the last time.

Often do you paint your nails? It’s been a few years since the last time.

Many countries have you visited? Just one apart from my own.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Two.

:: Why ::

… did you choose your username?

Cause I love me some surveys. ‘Nuff said.

… did you take this survey? I wanted to.

… did you choose the career you did? I don’t have one.

…did you last leave the house? My mom and I took our walk this morning and stopped to have breakfast along the way.

…did you last give up on something? I gave up on myself in a lot of ways the past few years and I’ve paying for it.

…did you search the last thing you searched? I was looking up how many miles away something was for one of the questions.

…would you give up on someone completely? I did that easily with myself, but it would take a lot to do that with someone else.

:: If…::

You could live in any country which would you choose?

I’ll just stay here.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I like having doggos.

You could be famous for something what would you like? >> I don't want to be famous. <<<

You are sad, how do you combat it? >> I am sad almost all the time lately, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's not something to "combat", I'm not trying to be in a fucking battle with myself and I'm tired of that rhetoric. I just wish I was less sad. I can't be less sad. But I wish I could. <<<

You can drive when did you learn? --

You could have any job what would it be? I don’t knowwww.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere far away with a nice beach.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? I just put in my Doordash order for Wingstop.

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? Murder mystery/psychological thriller.

You had a theme song what would it be? *shrug*

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Hmm.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? I don’t want to get married.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I don’t want kids.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Spacious enough for 4 adults and a doggo, near a beach, hardwood floor, big backyard with patio deck, pizza oven, grill, deck, nice sitting and eating area, pool, and a balcony.

You could go back in time what would you change? I’d take better care of myself.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Good, fun, memorable.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? I don’t know cause if it’s bad I don’t wanna know.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? Chester Bennington.

:: Can ::

… you ride a bike?

No.

… you ski? No.

… you bake a cake? >> I'm sure I could wing a box cake. <<< Yeah, that’s all I do. I’m not in there whipping stuff up from scratch.

… you sing well? Nope.

… you do your own taxes? >> I don't do taxes, I don't earn a taxable income. <<<

… you remain calm in a crisis? I tend to freak out.

… you do first aid? No.

… remember your best friend’s family members’ names? They’re my family, too.

… you fire a gun? I’ve only done it once when I went to a shooting range with some friends a few years ago. I didn’t want to do more than that.

… your parents drive? Yes.

…your best friend dance well? She doesn’t like to dance.

…you make people laugh easily? I don’t think I’m funny. I’ll have my moments now and then and I own that shit when it happens haha but it’s at random.

…stand up for yourself? I’m not great a that. I’m too shy, too awkward, suck at expressing myself, and don’t like confrontation.

…you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language?

I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I only know some.

Save the life of a stray animal? If I could help in some way.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? >> Not entirely, because I've never lived in a hurricane-prone area. <<< Me either, thankfully.

Try a new cuisine? If it sounded good to me. I’m very picky and particular with food.

Risk your life for anyone? My loved ones.

You like to get back in touch with someone? Ideally, but it’s not ideal right now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? I don’t drive so I wouldn’t be any help. I could call them an Uber, though.

You Know how to perform CPR? No.

You likely win in a game of chess? Nope, I don’t even know how to play.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Yeah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #long survey

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gallifreyanlibertea · 6 years

Text

I Took My Hater Out On A Date (5/7)

(1/7) (2/7) (3/7) (4/7) (6/7)

Alfred was bullied as a kid.

It was just the usual, of course. They’d called him “braceface”, made fun of the bowl cut his mom insisted made him look adorable, the glasses too big for his face, but it was nothing he ever talked about it because, well, it was nothing. They were children.

He’d grown older, and even before his shoulders broadened, before he joined the football team, everyone was okay with him. Just like that, they’d grown out of it. Nobody gave a damn about braces or glasses in middle school. So Alfred had been bullied, yes, but it was never anything serious.

What it had been was a sort of revelation. It had given him insight into the minds of ex-attackers. The kids who’d made the rude comments when they were younger were always the ones that were nervous around him in class. They laughed at his jokes, they made good company, yes, but they were always so shifty. Alfred chalked it up to the fact that it meant they were guilty.

Applying a similar analysis to Arthur Kirkland, Alfred concluded that Arthur was the same. He was guilty.

It was either that or he had a very, very strong emotion of some different nature. That was as far as Alfred could tell.

“So, final thoughts?” Alfred asked, cautiously, seeing as Arthur looked just about ready to puke any moment now. “Still hate me?”

Arthur blinked. He took a controlled breath, parted his lips as if to say something, then furrowed his brows and shut his mouth. He didn’t speak.

It was weird considering his behavior on their actual date.

To sum it up, Arthur was everything Alfred had imagined he would be. Imagined in the sense that, well, Alfred had thought about how they would meet almost every second of free time he had. He’d thought about how he would prove his worth, how he would dial up the charm, how Arthur would laugh at all of Alfred’s jokes- after all, Alfred had practiced them.

To better phrase it, he’d scripted a few. Some movie puns for when they were at the theatre, a few quirky anecdotes he’d stored in his head for use during small talk- Hell, he’d even had the perfect introduction planned! He’d put at least ten times more care into the tentative script for their meeting, praying to god it wouldn’t deviate from his expectations, than he did for any of his most popular videos. “Wow,” He had planned to say. “Your camera really doesn’t do you justice.” And he’d wink.

It was for their audience, of course. They’d go crazy for it. And in the scenario he’d crafted in his head, Arthur would blush in response and stutter out some sort of insult.

Alfred’s scenario had in no way included Arthur being so late to their meeting that Alfred had completely forgotten what he’d meant to say.

Alfred’s scenario had, however, included Arthur’s tight shirt, so he was somewhat pleased by that, at least. They had ‘beef’, sure, but Arthur was hot regardless. Alfred had his fantasies.

Arthur wasn’t doing too hot right now, though. Alfred caught Matthew’s curious gaze in the front mirror and gave him a slight shrug when Matthew raised his brows inquisitively- Is he okay?- when Arthur wasn’t looking.

Which was now, seeing as he was staring out the window, as if Alfred had never asked him a question. His expression told Alfred he hadn’t forgotten, just that he was possibly hoping to god that Alfred had.

Alfred cleared his throat. “Arthur?”

Arthur winced, just slightly. Alfred wondered if Arthur hoped he would drop the subject.

Any other day, of course, Alfred would’ve backed off. Especially seeing as Arthur looked ready to throw the car door open and make a run for it, that’s what Alfred should’ve done. Arthur’s brows couldn’t possibly be more knotted together. It was the right thing to do. The guy was suffering.

That should’ve mattered to him, but somehow, it didn’t, because Alfred needed Arthur’s response. He assumed then that it was because he’d waited so long for it.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m… I just-” Arthur blinked. He blinked again. “Er- sorry, what was the question again?”

A quick glance out the window told Alfred they were near Arthur’s hotel. He clenched his jaw, just a bit. “I was just gonna wrap the video up. Final thoughts? Did this date change your opinion of me at all?”

Arthur blinked again and he was doing that a frightening amount of times now. Maybe there was an eyelash stuck in there- “Well… um, if I were a man witnessing our entire date in the third person, I would most definitely detest you. God, you’ve got awful manners. And you’re still annoying. Very much so.”

Alfred paused at that, smile faltering. What?

That was it?

He shouldn’t have been angry, but he was. Not that he’d spent all that money trying to please Arthur Kirkland, not that Arthur was stubbornly holding to his initial impressions, because Alfred didn’t care about any of that, no.

What he did care about was the fact that he thought Arthur actually liked him.

Alright, so not love at first sight. Not love at first date. Alfred could practically hear the subscribers whining, but all of that was irrelevant. Alfred didn’t expect Arthur to just drop down on his knee and propose, nor was Alfred expecting a sudden change of character, a swoon, a- oh, this whole time, I’d been so, so wrong about you! I really do want to slide into your DMs!

A friendship? It would be appreciated. Mutual respect? It would be much appreciated! The same exact answer after an entire date, one in which Arthur was enjoying himself, smiling, opening up- not so much. Alfred was mad, to say the least, because if Arthur had really hated him through all that, Alfred would be satisfied with that answer, but he hadn’t.

Alfred was downright devastated until Arthur’s lips spread in a small, smug smirk and Alfred released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Ha, ha. Come on, man, this is the part of the video where I’m supposed to be playing heartfelt piano music.”

Now that Alfred really paid attention, Arthur’s expression seemed off. It seemed a bit… forced. As if for the camera.

Arthur proved Alfred’s hypothesis when his shifty eyes darted between meeting Alfred’s gaze and making hard eye contact with the camera lens.“It’s how I feel, Alfred. Can’t change it for the sake of giving your video an emotional tone.”

“So you still hate me?” Alfred said, and he laughed, but he definitely did not feel like laughing. “After this entire date? You better reimburse me then!”

“For what? I hardly ate anything compared to you.” Arthur retorted, eyebrow cocked. He seemed relaxed now, shoulders less taut. He was in his element.

Unfortunately, that meant he was still joking. Alfred needed a bit more than light-hearted banter. “Really, though… is that still how you feel?”

Arthur’s smile fell. He glanced out the window. He glanced at the camera. He looked back at Alfred.

“I… I suppose I-” Despite somewhat understanding that his intent gaze likely stressed Arthur into not being able to speak, Alfred was staring at him now. He hadn’t noticed until Arthur averted his eyes. So Alfred averted his as well. “Off the record... you want me to be honest right now and it’s not really the type of video I make.”

Alfred’s brows pinched together, “You’re- but you’re always honest in your videos. That’s kind of your thing, isn’t it?”

“I’m genuine, sure,” Arthur muttered. “But I hardly ever make videos about… my feelings and whatnot. I’m not quite sure what to say.”

“Say… the truth?” Alfred said. Unhelpfully. He watched Arthur, unsure of what else to say.

“Thanks for the advice,” Arthur said dryly. His inhale was deep. He then sighed, “I… look, I don’t do this often and… I just… “

Matthew pulled into Arthur’s hotel and Arthur practically shrunk into his seat in relief. Alfred wanted to smile at that. He wanted to wish Arthur a goodnight and he wanted Arthur back under the soft sheets of his hotel room. Maybe Arthur would curl up with a book, watch some television to calm his obviously jumpy nerves. Alfred wanted him to rest.

So that’s why he was surprised when he found himself blurting- “Don’t feel pressured to reply right now, you can think about it for a while if you need to. We’ll park.”

Arthur furrowed his brows. “We can’t just… um, do it tomorrow? We can-”

Alfred smiled. Tightly. “We can just get it over with now. I wouldn’t want to take up your time!”

“You wouldn’t be-”

“Besides, the faster we get the footage, the faster I can edit and put the videos out!” Alfred said in reassurance.

Arthur’s expression faltered. Alfred could’ve sworn he saw a tinge of annoyance.

That should’ve been his first cue to let it go. Arthur would’ve been better off with rest. Perhaps he would have time to think about his answer. He could plan what to say. It would be smoother then. Better for the video.

Well... Alfred supposed he could just use what he had now. He could’ve full well, and easily at that, just changed the concept, tweaked it a little. It could’ve been a funny video, and in that case, what Arthur had said in good humor would be enough. Alfred would get his video, Arthur would get his rest, and it would be a win-win situation without the unnecessary pressure.

Despite the new video idea being just as good, Alfred found that he was hesitant. It wasn’t as appealing as, say, having Arthur come out and tell him he liked him.

That led Alfred to conclude that he could give a damn about the video. He wanted something else entirely.

Here he was, Arthur Kirkland, the man Alfred had spent countless hours of his own time crafting a perfect, casual date for. He’d mapped out what to do- he’d spent nights on end sleepless, just thinking about possible responses to possible things Arthur could say in their time together. He’d never been good at thinking things through before a decision, yes, but like hell was he ever going to be unprepared for Arthur Kirkland. Not this time.

He supposed that in all his preparation, he hadn’t thought about the fact that Arthur might be hesitant in any way. It was Arthur Kirkland, he always had a way with his words. And well, he claimed to be unscripted, so what was the problem now?

Arthur looked like a mouse caught in a trap and Alfred had no idea why. Frankly, at the moment, he hadn’t even cared why. Because there he was, Arthur Kirkland, about to tell him he liked him, or not, or whatever, Alfred didn’t know but he cared. He wanted to know. His blood bubbled inside him, his stomach churned, this was Arthur Kirkland and this was now and Alfred wasn't sure he’d survive a minute longer without his validation.

Validation.

Ah. So that was it.

The word emerged like an absolute truth in Alfred’s mind. It grew less hazy as the seconds passed. Validation.

Alfred wanted validation.

Yes, that’s what he wanted. It was clear as day now, and to Alfred’s horror, that didn’t stop him, not one bit, and it should’ve. It didn’t deter him in the slightest that Arthur was at a loss for words, that he needed rest, because Alfred wanted them. He wanted those words. He wanted Arthur’s opinion of him, and he wanted it right then and there.

To hell with the video.

Alfred smiled expectantly and Arthur sighed, expression contorted into something of mild distress. “Alfred… If I knew what I wanted to say, I’d have said it by now. I just....”

Alfred suppressed a frustrated sigh. “Is there anything I can do to make it easier?”

“Yeah.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “Can I just- I’d like to think about it for a while. I’m free tomorrow-”

“But that wouldn’t be genuine!” And Alfred heard his words after he’d said them.

He felt the scene in the third person. He felt like an entity, mind hovering above body. A body that, due to the lack of moral conscience within it, was spurting out complete and utter nonsense, excuses, garbage, and Alfred had no way to clamp his hands over its stupid mouth.

Matthew’s concern was palpable. “Alfred… Just give him a break, we can get him tomorrow.”

Arthur was no longer meek. His voice took on a steely tone, one of a person agitated by an accusation. “Why wouldn’t I be genuine tomorrow?”

“No, it’s just that-” Alfred laughed out the heat building up in his lungs. He was an idiot- he was- he-!

He had no idea what he was doing.

No matter how prepared, no matter how scripted, something about him always ruined it all. This time, it was a strange thing inside him. An impulse never before named nor recognized. He felt faint. “I mean… what you say today is more ‘in the moment’, you know? Tomorrow, it’d be different, you could just-”

“Lie?” Arthur said.

Alfred didn’t reply.

“I don’t know why you’re so adamant right now, Alfred, it’s honestly-” Arthur mumbled. He crossed his arms. “I could lie right now if I wanted to. It’s not even an issue of time!”

He then paused, as if a gear clicked in his head.

He looked up from his previous gaze into his lap, eyebrow raised. “You know what? Let me just lie right now. Thank you so much for today, Alfred! Everything I ever said about you was wrong! Just like your millions upon millions of subscribers, I blindly love and support you!”

He smiled a saccharine smile. It scared Alfred just a bit. “Wh- Arthur, what are you-?”

“That is what you wanted to hear from me, wasn’t it? That is what you wanted me to say on your camera, so you can post it and tell the world that I, Arthur Kirkland, like any other person that criticizes something you do, is wrong about you.”

Alfred blinked incredulously. When he didn’t reply, Arthur scoffed, “I’m right, aren’t I? Well, there’s your footage. Have a good night.”

And Arthur threw open the car door, sliding out of his seat to stomp out of the parking lot.

Alfred didn’t take the time to register what Arthur had said, to return Matthew’s shocked stare. He didn’t have the time, no, not when Arthur was leaving, and he certainly seemed upset. He was upset with Alfred.

Alfred didn’t take the time to register how wrong it was, that he was only concerned with the fact that he didn’t want Arthur Kirkland to be upset with him, and that was all. Not why he’d hurt him, not what Arthur had said, no. Just that Arthur Kirkland could not be mad at him.

“Arthur, wait-!”

Alfred abandoned his camera, scrambling to catch Arthur by the shoulder and Arthur stopped. He didn’t turn to face Alfred. He simply crossed his arms.

“Arthur… I’m sorry.”

Arthur sighed. He turned around, expression softening just a bit, but judging by his smoldering eyes, it was just to be polite. “Sorry for what?”

Alfred chewed his lip. “I… I’m sorry you felt that way,”

Arthur chuckled. He shook his head, “How sincere.”

“You’re wrong-”

“Right,” Arthur said. “You like it when I’m wrong, don’t you?”

“N- what? No! Listen-” Alfred sighed, hands curling into his pockets. He eyed the ground. “- I just… I wanted you to like me, is all. Even just a little.”

“That’s what you tell yourself,” Arthur said, pointedly. “To make it seem like what you’re doing is all innocent.”

The anger was back. He furrowed his brows, taking a menacing step forward before he was even aware what that meant, what sort of impression that action would give Arthur, who took to stepping backward in alarm. “Yeah? And what exactly makes you think you’re right about my evil motives?”

Arthur smiled ruefully at that. “It’s simple. I'm your ‘hater’. That’s the name you’ve given me in your titles, isn’t it? I’m a representation of your critics. You’ve conducted a redemption arc for yourself, for the sake of your channel, for views, for subscribers, and that’s fine. It’s business, I expected it. But none of this is genuine, it never has been. You don’t care that I like you. You care that everyone knows I’m wrong, that people like me, that criticize you, are wrong, so it doesn’t really matter if I take the time to craft a thought out response, does it?”

Arthur was eloquent after all. Just when it came to telling Alfred what was wrong with him.

He turned to leave and Alfred debated just letting him go. All he’d wanted was some validation! Was that so wrong? All he’d wanted was a childish affirmation that he mattered to Arthur, just a little, because Alfred wasn’t used to people not liking him for any real reasons.

Alfred didn’t have a bowl cut this time. He didn’t wear braces. In fact, he was perfect, he was beautiful now, wasn’t he? Successful? But Arthur had found fault in him. All Alfred had wanted was for him to see Alfred differently.

He contemplated just letting it go, just watching him leave, then going back to his hotel room and deleting every second of film, just to prove Arthur wrong.

... to prove Arthur wrong.

That sounded an awful lot like what Arthur claimed was his evil motive, didn’t it?

Arthur paused. He turned again. “I hope you will forgive my outburst. I didn’t know how to put it without getting a tiny bit angry. I don’t intend to leave here just to continue hating you, and I’m not mad at you. So don’t give me that face.”

Arthur smiled plainly at that. Alfred’s shoulders relaxed. He attempted a small smile of his own. “It’s hard not to make this face after your whole accusatory speech.”

“I’m right, though, aren’t I?” Arthur said. “Listen, I never hated you, okay? I don’t hate you now either. I’d never even thought I’d want to go out of my way to criticize you. It just came to be. We were sucked into it, given roles in a big game. A performance for subscribers. That’s all it was. And careers like ours have a tendency to control our motives, to warp how you think, how you react, so you get sucked into it like some woodchipper and shredded back out. I thought I was above it, though. I suppose I’m not mad at you as much as I’m just mad at myself for… not having seen it sooner.”

Alfred thought he understood what Arthur meant.

He hadn’t, of course. Not entirely. Not until he was back in his hotel room, after he’d stepped out of a long, mindless shower to find text messages on his phone-

I understand I made a commitment to collaborate with you. If you want to film again, I’ll be free tomorrow morning at 10AM, same place. If not, I’m sorry for wasting your time and I’d prefer it if we didn’t keep in contact after this. I hope you understand. Alfred dried his palms and attempted to text back.

He didn’t know how to reply.

He put his phone away with a frustrated sigh and curled into bed to review the footage.

- Alfred hadn’t understood until he’d started, until his eyes squinted to the screen to see Arthur’s small smile at something Alfred had said as they got into the car. It could’ve been polite. Alfred could’ve just been funny. That moment hadn’t been very clear.

It wasn’t until Arthur’s smile slipped away at the sight of a camera, until his face had fallen, just a little, to see Matthew in the backseat, that Alfred threw his head back to hit the wall behind him with a groan.

“I’m an idiot.”

Alfred wasn’t so perfect after all, it seemed.

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