#2) the people i've hurt in the past get to never have the risk of being hurt by me again

[cat-madhouse]

suicide tw

I am usually against anyone contemplating suicide but also the more I think about me and how I interact with others, the more I can't help but realize that it is impossible for me not to be toxic in one way or another (if not worse), and it would take a lot less time and effort to just kill myself. I also wouldn't be inevitably hurting people during the process of getting better.

[elihashadenough]

Pairing: max verstappen x male reader (could be read by masc presenting people)

Summary: sometimes things go right in the moment but will they always be right? can they survive through the hardships of love? can their love hold the test of a treacherous path of love?

a/n: part 7 is here, sorry if the upload was later then i usually post, i hope its longer than the previous one, i've been a little busy with some things and exams but here it is now. I hope this makes up for the short fic and disappearing for the past few weeks, been really invested in the races ngl :)

-> do not repost, copy or translate my works nor post them anywhere else. Read at your own risk. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated.

[series masterlist]

liked by ynln-official, redbullracing, mickschumacher and 993,135 others

maxverstappen1: thank you for all the love you have given me @ynln-official. Can’t wait to make more memories to cherish. Love you, max

view all 47,309 comments

ynln-official: love you so so much (heart emoji)         maxverstappen1: love you more

mickschumacher: so proud of you both, always have your back :)         ynln-official: thank you for always being there (never thought of you as someone sentimental *wipes tears*)         mickschumacher: don’t even

danielriccardo: oh we will be feeling like third wheels soon            landonorris: tell me about it            maxverstappen1: you two are acting like you weren’t already third wheeling

user63: get yourself someone who gets you flowers when you feel down people user37: facts!!

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, redbullracing and 978,811 others

ynln-official: 2 years together and your smile still has the same effect it did on day one, though we have known each other for longer than I can even remember but the memories we have made through them, I’ll always cherish them. I can’t wait to love you till the end of times (heart emoji) but that doesn’t hide the fact that we were outed, yes we technically work in the media but still it doesn’t give any news site or person to publish an article about someone’s relationship  no matter their sexuality. Outing someone (in any setting) is not acceptable should they be a public figure (adult or not) or a normal person. People should seriously be taught how to act like actual decent human beings in school at this point. Though I do want to say thank you for all the love everyone has shown both max and I, all the messages and comments of support meant a lot :)

view all 34,948 comments

maxverstappen1: I love you so much that charles gave me ‘if you hurt my friend’ talk again         ynln-official: that’s Charles for you, you know (shrug emoji)         charles_leclerc: you are still not off the hook max

user86: you tell them y/n!!! so proud of you

landonorris: I thought this was for max why is this making me tear up          georgerussel: in the same boat as you mate          maxverstappen1: and just imagine how I am right now

user57: this is serious??!! Watch them shove it in our faces now smh       user82: not so kindly fuck off dude        *liked by ynln-official*

user30: god the pictures they have used of each other... makes me feel single as hell       user13: them holding hands it’s just ahhhh

{a small snippet}

You opened the fridge to pull out vegetables for the stir fry, you could hear max in the other room working on something. With the vegetables now washed you grab the cutting board and knife to start cutting them up while the chicken defrosted, light music playing in the background as your focus was on the vegetables until someone’s arms wrapped around you making you smirk knowing it was max “I thought we were supposed to cook together” max says as he rested his chin on your shoulder “you were working and dinner was getting late so…” you said turning around in his arms to face him “well what are you making?” he asks as he picks up a green capsicum “just a stir-fry with rice…easy and quick” you say as you turn around again and begin cutting again, you don’t hear a response from him but max putting a wine glass on the counter and you hear a pop , you look at him with an eyebrow raised, he just looks at you before pouring the wine in the glasses “to us telling the world…and to our love” you couldn’t help but laugh a little before raising your glass and take a sip “I love you” you say as max smiled and kissed you softly “I love you too. Now what can I do to help you my love” he asks as he looks at the chicken “anything but the chicken” you shake your head and move from your spot “cut the vegetables” you say as you laugh “be careful of the knife” you add max’s hand touches the blade “I know how to use a knife y/n” he says “yet you are scared of raw chicken”

Light touches and laughter surrounded the two of you for the rest of the night. Though both of you knew the hate would be inevitable but right now nothing mattered to either of them except each other.

i haven't proof read this so if there were any mistakes, i'm sorry. But i hope you all enjoyed this. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤️

tagging: @leosxrealm, @miloformula123fan, @woozarts @eugene-emt-roe

[mj-iza-writer]

Hi, so, can you do a piece where Whumpee and Caretaker hang out, and Whumpee gets wasted and finally tells Caretaker everything that Whumpee has done to them, only for Whumper to show up, take Whumpee back, and implement ‘damage control’ (however that is interpreted)?

No pressure if not, but I’ve noticed you are fantastic with oddly specific prompts and so I am excited to see what you cook up with this

Have a nice day/night/time!

@3-2-whump

I can absolutely write that. I do hope you forgive me, though. I've never drank, so I could only write what I think being wasted would be like.

Subject warning: Tongue Removal. Drunk character. Throwing up.

I hope you enjoy the story.

Whumper had noticed Whumpee walking with what seemed to be a new friend.

"OH, their you are", Whumper frowned, "I haven't seen you for a check in lately."

Whumpee walked by. Both they and the friend carried cases of alcohol.

"You know you shouldn't be drinking" Whumper whispered.

Whumper hurried to follow them.

They ended up at a campground.

Caretaker handed another beer to Whumpee. They needed Whumpee to tell them more about their past so they could help. Caretaker knew there were some parts Whumpee wasn't talking about and acted very strange when asked.

Caretaker figured getting them drunk may help them loosen them up enough to talk.

Whumpee happily drank from the third bottle. They bobbed their head to the music and smiled at Caretaker.

"This is so nice", Whumpee giggled, "so much better then... uhm."

Caretaker leaned up, "yes Whumpee.. go ahead."

"Whumper always told me not to drink. They said I'd risk telling people about our deep secrets if I was drunk", Whumpee frowned and looked at the bottle, "this.. this is nice though."

"What secrets, Whumpee?", Caretaker tried to urge.

No one saw a shadow hiding amongst the bushes nearby.

"Whumpee you better not", Whumper whispered a warning that no one could hear.

That night, Caretaker didn't hear a visitor come into their tent and steal Whumpee away.

Whumper carried Whumpee down the steps to the basement.

They lowered the half asleep, loopy Whumpee to the floor beside the wall.

They pulled Whumpee's arms behind their back and shackled them. Lastly, they pulled a chain down from the wall and securely locked it to the shackles.

Whumpee curled into themself and made happy drunk noises. Completely unaware of the danger that was knelt beside them.

"No point in hurting you right now. You're too drunk", Whumper stood, "I guess you get to enjoy the night."

Whumpee woke up and tried to stretch out. They slowly realized that their arms were shackled around them.

"No, no, no", Whumpee looked around the room quickly. The affects of the alcohol making them woosy.

They hunched over and threw up.

In the midst of this, they hadn't heard the door open or the heavy feet coming down the stairs.

Whumpee looked up from the pile of vomit. Their eyes trailed all of the way up until they met their captor's eyes.

"Well if it isn't my favorite toy. I've missed you. You never came back for your check-in with me. I got worried."

Whumpee gulped, "I-I tried to Master, they wouldn't let me out of their sight."

"I'm sure you tried to, and that you're not lying", Whumper knelt down, "you were pretty drunk last night. You know you're a pretty happy drunk. You seem to like spilling guts. You told your guardian. You told me everything. You even spilled your guts here on the floor. What do you think we should do about this, hmm?"

"I should clean it up for you", Whumpee frowned as they moved their arms, "may I clean it for you, please?"

"Hmm, maybe later. I was interested when you told me last night that you never planned to go back to Whumper. You said that to your guardian too. You also told them everything I've done to you. Also, about checking in with me. You know that isn't supposed to be talked about."

"I-I didn't mean to, i-it slipped out. I didn't mean the part about not checking in either. Please believe me, I tried...", Whumpee blubbered.

"Shhshsh", Whumper hushed, "you apparently held some truth if that was so close to the tip of your tongue to just slip out. You wanted to say it, and just needed a little something to help", Whumper grinned, "why are you lying to me? What are my rules for you?"

Whumpee sniffled, "Don't lie. Don't tell, and do not ever talk about what happens here. I must check in with Master once a month to continue being free."

"Oh good, so you do remember, so why haven't you checked in the last two months?", Whumper sighed, "I was nervous something bad had happened to you. Then I see you walking around with some new person", Whumper started raising their voice, "two months Whumpee. Everyone has checked in with me, but you. Damage control is necessary for you to remain free."

Whumpee cowarded away as Whumper slammed their hand on the wall above them.

"I-I'm sorry, Caretaker has kept a close eye on me. I think they knew something was up", Whumpee kept their eyes low, "I tried to... honest."

Whumper sighed, "dishonest tongues should be destroyed. I think we should take that tongue away from you. I'm also taking away your freedom."

"Please Master", Whumpee fell forward into the puke, "please."

"All of you know the repercussions of misusing my kindness. Yes I'll take your tongue and your freedom", Whumper grinned, "you won't be able to talk very well. Tasting would be hard as well. Yes that is a fitting punishment."

"M-master please, I beg of you", Whumpee pleaded, "I-I don't want.... please take something else from me... please not my tongue."

"Fine I'll go get that Caretaker person who kept you away from me", Whumper stood and started to walk, "that way I'll take away your connection to the real world."

"Mast... Master please.... my tongue.... take that. Please don't hurt them", Whumpee pleaded.

"Oh, so now I can have it?", Whumper smirked, "are you giving your Master permission."

"N-no Master, just hoping you will show me mercy", Whumpee looked at them longingly, "please."

"I'm taking your tongue after breakfast", Whumper frowned.

Whumper strapped Whumpee down to their examination table. They placed a gag in Whumpee's mouth to hold it open.

"Now, removing a tongue is not easy. You run the risk of letting the person bleed out if it's not done right or the tongue could roll back and gag yhe perosn. So I recommend holding still", Whumper sighed, "and no, you don't get any pain relief."

Whumpee made a concerned look, "wh..?"

Whumper chuckled, "exactly."

Whumper used a tool to pull out the tongue and another to clamp and hold the piece that would still be attached.

Whumpee screamed and gagged as Whumper went deep into their mouth to cut out their tongue.

Whumper held Whumpee's head still, "if you move anymore, I will screw up. Stop moving."

Whumpee glared with tears in their eyes.

Whumpee was shackled to the wall again after the removal.

"It was successful", Whumper stood, "everything was done correctly. I'm glad I learned how to do that."

Whumpee only looked up for a second before looking at the floor.

"You are really swell...", Whumper heard someone breaking into the house.

Whumpee lowered themself to the floor. The swelling was causing them not to hear anything at the moment. They were too tired to care.

Whumper ran up the stairs and was instantly taken by police.

Caretaker ran past as they were being arrested. Several officers followed them down the steps.

"Whumpee", Caretaker ran to the body. They hoped it wasn't too late.

They turned Whumpee over and saw the swelling and bruising around their face.

"Whumpee", Caretaker gently shook them.

Medics came down and started to work.

"They look like they're in shock, any signs of blood loss", one of the medics looked into Whumpee's eyes.

An officer came running in, "there is a tongue in here. Is it there's?"

The medic opened Whumpee's mouth and gasped.

"It's been removed", the medic tried to hide a gag.

Whumpee winced and looked longingly at Caretaker.

"We need to get them to the hospital", the medics started to get them onto a gurney and strapped in.

Caretaker lovingly squeezed Whumpee's hand, "I'm sorry I couldn't get you to safety quicker. I will be up to the hospital soon to see you. I need to help here first. They will get you help."

Whumpee weakly nodded and saw the tears in Caretaker's eyes.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee was removed. Another carried out the removed tongue in a cooler.

With Whumpee and Whumper removed the police and Caretaker went through the house. They took records on Whumpee and others that seemed to be allowed to come and go as long as they checked in periodically.

"We need to station someone here to ketch these that come here and get them to safety", Caretaker looked over the names, "these poor people."

Caretaker had received Whumpee's location and made their way through the hospital.

The doctor caught them before they went into the room.

"I wanted to let you know a few things before you went in", the doctor led them to a nurses station. Their tongue is gone. It looks like it was removed accurately, so I'm not concerned. There is no way of reattaching it, though. They lost a lot of blood and are in a lot of pain. So, of course, pain meds and blood have been given. Please let them rest as much as you can."

Caretaker agreed.

Caretaker sat quietly in the room and watched as Whumpee slept. They took in every grimace and wince Whumpee made.

Caretaker was well aware that they should have been watching Whumpee closer. This was their fault for sleeping on the job.

Whumpee finally squinted their eyes opened, and looked around.

"Hey", Caretaker whispered when Whumpee finally looked their way.

Whumpee made a small smile.

"I'm so sorry. I woke up to see you missing. I looked around for a few minutes in hopes you were in the bathroom. After I didn't find you, I called in my team to get you. I had a tracking device hidden on you; I believed something was up and I thought that would be a good idea", Caretaker sighed in frustration.

Whumpee looked at them in confusion.

"Oh right... I'm a detective. I was tasked to befriend you after you went to the police station a few weeks ago", Caretaker frowned, "there was something off about you. In all honesty though I didn't know I was going to get as close to you as I did."

Whumpee weakly smiled.

"Let's do this", Caretaker reached for Whumpee's hand, "Whumper has been arrested, and we are working to track down the others like you. Let's get you out of that tiny apartment", Caretaker squeezed Whumpee's hand gently, "no matter what happens, I can help you. I promise we will work through all of this."

Whumpee frowned, 'this will be too much for you to deal with', they thought to themself.

"I know you're worried about the details. Don't worry about any of that, I have many strings that I can pull", Caretaker smiled, "just rest. Are you okay if I become your advocate for a little while?"

Whumpee looked deeply into Caretaker's eyes. They nodded and let a tear fall.

Caretaker gently squeezed their hand again.

"Alright, I will begin getting things together for when you are released", Caretaker smiled, "now please get some rest before the doctor comes in and yells at us."

Whumpee held Caretaker's hand tightly.

Caretaker paused and looked at Whumpee with concern, "yes Whumpee?"

Whumpee slowly moved their hand to their mouth, and made a motion as though they were drinking.

"Yes you can have more alcohol, but we have to check with the doctor when you'll be allowed to", Caretaker grinned, "I'll by you as much as you want, and this time we won't have to worry about you getting kidnapped. Though I will definitely keep a closer eye on you."

Whumpee smiled and nodded.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@3-2-whump @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @sunglasses-in-the-bentley

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie

[viaoverthemoon]

Unavoidable

Leon Kennedy x AFAB!Reader

Okay, this one is pretty self-indulgent bc I'm REALLY dreading that I have to do this soon. I've been told it isn't that bad and I've been told it hurts like hell. Guess I'll just have to find out.

DISCLAIMER: I have never physically experienced a pap smear before! Please do not think that what happens in this is ACTUALLY how it feels. This is just how I THINK it would feel.

Summary: You ask Leon to come with you for your very first pap smear that you have been dreading so long about.

Tw: Mentions of medical equipment, Uncomfortable medical procedures, pain, reader has a fear of doctors, minor description of anxiety (if u squint), lotsss of praise, comfort, fluff

DETAILED MEDICAL PROCEDURE AHEAD!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Enjoy!

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"Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous,"

Leon tightly holds your hand as you sit on the stiff hospital bed, watching as your other hand anxiously fiddles with the hospital gown you wear.

You'd been dreading this day for the past week. After giving your virginity away to Leon, you'd told your mother. She'd immediately suggested getting the pap smear you'd once told her you wouldn't get until you lost your virginity.

You spent the week doing intense research, seeing multiple reactions that different people have had. None of them were the same, and that scared you beyond belief.

Leon watched your silent meltdown, wishing there was something he could do. He did his own research as well, diving into the internet and becoming slightly uncomfortable, but still trying to find out if there was some way he could comfort you. His search ended in uselessness, him not being able to find anything that would help him aid you.

But he saw a chance for redemption when you suddenly asked him to come with you.

And so the day had come.

Leon rubs his thumbs over your knuckles, noticing the trembling of your hands. "Don't be nervous sweetheart. I'm right here. Just hold on to me."

You smile at Leon, about to tell him how appreciative you are, but jump when the door opens.

The doctor enters the room, eyes looking at the two of you before she smiles softly. "First time?"

You offer a shaky smile and nod as you hold Leon's hand a little tighter.

The doctor laughs softly as she takes a seat in the rolling chair and flips through the papers on her clipboard. "I'm so sorry, love. But I'll try and makes this as quick as possible, promise. Let me ask you a few questions first."

She asks you the basic questions; 'Are you sexually active?' 'Is there a possibility that you may be pregnant?' 'When was your last menstrual cycle?' The classics.

Once she finishes the questions, she stands from her chair and begins to put the equipment she needs onto a small tray.

A sharp exhale leaves your lips and you opt to staring at the ceiling rather than what she's gathering, taking deep breaths to distract yourself.

Leon rubs your shoulder in a comforting manner, whispering small praises into your ear as he moves your hair to the side to kiss your temple. The doctor explains the process to you as calmly as possible.

"I put some gel on the speculum to ensure that it goes in easy and comes out easy. You may feel a slight pinch, but this shouldn't last longer than 2 minutes max. After that, I'll insert a swab and wipe around the cervix, and then I'll insert a soft brush into the cervix. After that, we're done!"

God, why are you sweating so much?!

You nod to the doctor as she pulls on her gloves, the anxious feeling never leaving as you try to take deep breaths. Leon kisses your shaking hand. "You're doing so good, angel. It'll be over before you know it."

You squeeze his hand to let him know you heard him before the doctor speaks again. "Okay, starting with the speculum,"

You wince a little at the intrusion as your heart leaps. And just when you think 'this isn't so bad', you feel the stretch.

You squeeze Leon's hand again and little ow, ow, ow's leave your lips as you whip your gaze away from the doctor. She and Leon begin to tell you how good you're doing and how it's almost over.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. You're doing so good! Don't even look at her, just look at me. I'm right here. I've got you."

The praise momentarily takes your mind off of the tickling feeling of the swab, until the brush comes and enters your cervix.

You suck in a breath between your teeth at the less painful pinch, bringing yours and Leon's wrapped hands to your mouth to keep from swearing at the poor doctor.

Then she pulled out the brush, closing the speculum and taking it out of you. "Okay! All done! You did such a good job!"

You heard her but you hardly understood her, eyes brimming with tears as you slowly turn towards Leon. He takes one look at your wobbly lip and turns to the doctor. "Would you mind giving us a minute?"

The doctor gets the message immediately, collecting her things and the equipment before heading for the door. "Of course! Leave whenever you're ready! I'll get these to the lab and your results should be ready in 2-3 business days!"

The second the door closes behind her, the dam in your eyes finally bursts. You felt stupid for crying. You had no reason to. But the tears and sobs were unrelenting. You clung to Leon and he held you, smoothing your hair.

"It's okay sweetheart. You did so good. and I'm proud of you. That wasn't easy, I know."

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Can y'all tell I hate going to the doctor? :))))

I listened to 'Yes to Heaven' by Lana Del Ray while writing this <3

Hope you enjoyed!!

Requests are open!! <3

[perfectly-imperfect82]

Rose’s surprise

Rose looked down at 2 year old who was in her arms. She was contented resting her head on Rose shoulder and playing with the chain of her necklace. Thankfully not noticing how nervous and scared the women holding her was. Rose hadn't told her teammates about bringing Lily or even the fact she was dating the little girls mom

"Rose, why do you have a little girl with you. You didn't kidnap her didn't you?" Kelley asked concerned

"What? No I didn't kidnap her" Rose exclaimed as you hide your face in Rose's neck, Rose instantly rubbing you back to try and keep you calm

"Then why do you have a little girl with you?" Sam asked confused

"Umm, you see" Rose said feeling nervous again since she hadn't shared her relationship with anyone yet, even if it's been nearly a year

"Did you have a kid years ago and not tell anyone?" Emily asked

"We would have known that, idiot. We've seen her to often in the past few years" Megan said as emily glared back

"You guys! Let her explain!" Becky said, seeing Rose panicked face and the little girl who looked scared and confused

"I may be dating someone and this is there daughter. She had to go to California last minute to fight the forest fires and needed someone to watch her daughter" Rose said while blushing

"Mommy hero" you said quietly, still hiding

"That's right" Rose said as everyone awed at you

"Your in a relationship?" Sam asked shocked that you had never said anything

"Did she say she?" Mal asked

"She did! And the kid said mommy" Kelley said excitedly

"Rose has a girlfriend!" Megan said proudly and excitedly "you have to tell us more!"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sam asked, hurt evident in her voice as she looked at her best friend and everyone instantly froze and looked at Rose

"I don't know why I didn't say anything to you guys. I guess I feared more people knowing would risk fans finding out. We both just wanted to protect Lily from everyone and in the beginning our relationship was new and I didn't want the fans or other interfering. Then I just never felt like their was a right time and I was nervous since I've never dated a female before" Rose said rambling but being cut of by Sam

"Rose" Sam said causing Rose to stop talking

"I understand. I understand wanting to protect people you care about." Sam said causing Rose to relax as the other nodding agreeing with Sam

"Now this must be Lily" Sam said looking at the little girl who raised her head from Rose shoulder at her name.

"It's nice to meet you Lily. We are rose's friends. I'm Sam" sam said waving and moving closer Rose 

You waved and and gave a "hi" before you looked around at the group of females

"Hi Lily, I'm Alex and this is Charlie" Alex said stepping forward with Charlie who was looking at Lily

"Why don't we let them play together" Alex said as Rose nodded as they both set the little girls down while grabbing a few of their toys

"She's adorable, now I can only wonder how beautiful her mom is" Christen said looking at Rose who was blushing "very beautiful"

"So a firefighter, huh?" Emily asked as Rose nodded with a goofy smile, just thinking about her

"How long is she going to be gone for?" Tobin asked

"It's should be one more week. I just can't wait for her to come back home" Rose said with a concerned look causing Sam fo grab her hand and send her a weak smile

"Wait, do you live with her and that is why our team hasn't been invited to your place in a while?" Megan asked as Rose only nodded with a blush

"I didn't want anyone to scare her away" Rose said with a guilty smile

"Sue and I will be expecting dinner at your place when we get back from camp." Megan said as Rose just laughed and nodded "I'm going to be her favorite aunt" Megan said running off to the little girl

"What?" Rose asked wide eyed

"You haven't thought about about a future with them in it? Because if they are in it so are we and best believe we are going to be aunts to that little girl and you a parental figure." Becky said

"She is already one to the little girl" Alex said with a smile 

"I am?" Rose asked

"Have you not noticed your relationship with her and how she is with you? We've only been around you both a little but we can all see it" Alex said

"It's true" Christen said as rose blushed and looked over at you playing with Charlie and some of her teammates.

Lily took that moment to look over and wave before running over

"Rosie, tired" you said crawling into her lap rested your head against her chest as the rest of the people at the table watch their interaction fondly

"It's been a long day, huh?" Rose asked rubbing your back as you just nodded

"Call mommy. Wilma?" You asked looking up at her

"We can't call mommy right now but we can call Wilma when we go up stairs" Rose said as you nodded sadly

"Okay" you said as you went back to cuddling into Rose

"Rosie, puppy!" You said sitting and pointing at the puppy in the doorway, causing every one to jump at boast of energy

"Want to go see if we can pet them?" Rose asked the excited little girl who nodded

"Let's go" Rose said standing up with you in her arms as she headed to dog

"There two peas in a pod" Megan said with a laugh as everyone watched you two pet the puppy

[favoriteblogonthecitadel]

Six Song Soundtrack Game

Tagged by the beloved @isayashai !! I loved reading through the songs you picked <3 And I had my eye on this tag game, so tysm for tagging me!!

Rules: If tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following: 1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song

Doing this one for Xiomara Shepard with her ME1 self in mind specifically. Song titles/lyrics below, and since I like how they sound together, here are all of them in a playlist :)

Atlas: Eight by Sleeping At Last

I remember the minute It was like a switch was flipped I was just a kid who grew Up strong enough To pick this armor up And suddenly it fit […] But I can't let you see All that I have to lose All I've lost in the fight to protect it I can't let you in

If you’re wondering, yes, I’m very normal about Earthborn Ruthless Shepard. Particularly normal about Xiomara getting recruited from a chaotic environment and tossed into the super rigid expectations of Alliance training — struggling with culture shock within that structure, until the moment she gets to put on armor for the first time. It just... feels right to be ready to fight things, any things she gets thrown at, and becoming a soldier gives her everything she needs to pursue that instinct. From then on she thrives on the skills and attitudes she learned as a child, because apparently gang and Alliance cultures have some commonalities (they both reward desensitization to violence and loss of the self to the best interests of the organization).

2. Sometimes by Gerry Cinnamon

Sometimes, just sometimes Well alright, maybe all of the time I'm on a false ego trip Well I'm a renegade of sorts I roam the concrete jungle Hunting idiots for sport And now the cocaine scene It picked me up and made me frown That's when joking says that music helps the medicine go down Hey, it makes you feel alive More like demons of the night Flinging powder up your nose It's the way the water flows Yeah that's the way the story goes

For a character who relies so much on confidence and aggression, her inner dialogue is a lot more grounded; resigned, even. She has a job, it’s dirty work, and she does it well while finding acceptable ways to cope with it (also questionable ones, but what's life without some risk?). She doesn't feel any particular inclination to change her lot in life, until she finds the Beacon and faces a Bigger Picture she wasn't ready for.

3. MONEY by The Warning

Moral code updates three times a year Truth that's dipped in gold is just as sincere I'll never ask for forgiveness I come with God as my witness I pray he'll wash my hands It's sad and true, and the world hurts Sold your soul that's how it works We're human after all Are you worth your weight in gold? Going once, going twice, sold It's all about that cold, hard cash, hon Ow!

This is how I’d anticipate a lot of people view the Butcher of Torfan turned Council Spectre (and the mere concept of a human becoming a Spectre, tbh).

4. L.A. Kid by Act As If (for Xo and Kaidan)

You were an L.A. kid You were fighting hard You didn't need no one To set you apart You took me by surprise And stars fell from the skies You say you lost your heart And the lights went on 'Cause when you saw me, it was gone It was gone, it was gone And now that I I've got you here My days are long But you know when I'm coming home Coming home, coming home

They’re in love, your honor. <3 Neither of them was expecting it or looking for it, but once they collide, they're home.

5. The Pretender by Foo Fighters (for the final battle with Saren)

I'm the voice inside your head you refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face, mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right, I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down, bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender?

Heyyyyy so what if we were narrative parallels in our relationship with the threat of obliteration? What if we were both ruthless and flawed but one of us felt like a Chosen One forced to minimize the damage of the apocalypse, and the other could give zero fucks about compromising with false gods? What if our final confrontation after months of mutual hunt happened in the room that ordained both of us into the same Vigilante job, and it was not just a physical fight, but a conversation about which of us is a hero and which is a puppet? What then?

6. Raise Hell by Dorothy

Gotta raise a little hell Young blood, run like a river Young blood, never get chained Young blood, heaven need a sinner You can't raise hell with a saint Young blood, came to start a riot Don't care what your old man say Young blood, heaven hate a sinner But we gonna raise hell anyway

It's just Xiomara vibes honestly, and it goes well with the mutiny thing near the end of the game!

[lilblucat]

Quick question!! So with the recent episode of MD out (I'm not sure if you've seen it yet, but if you have you could answer this if ya like) are you worried for how the show is gonna handle the love triangle between Uzi, N, and V? Because ship wars are still going on at least over on Twitter and Envy shippers are going crazy and insane, plus it doesn't help that some of them are toxic (not saying that Nuzi shippers aren't toxic too, because they are) but, I'm worried that these shipping wars are gonna get worse and heck, it even concerns me that shipping could end up ruining the show..just look at shows like Miraculous Ladybug + Star Vs, but Star Vs is a huge example because that show was pretty much ruined by shipping and it also ended up making Starco feel rushed at the end..I've seen people point out that the love triangle is common in Liam's work so maybe I'm missing something. But, are you worried for how this love triangle will be handled in the end and do you think it could ruin and mess up the show?? Also, which couple would you say you're rooting for (When it comes to Envy and Nuzi, at least) and who do you think works better as a couple? I don't wanna cause any shipping drama, but I was wanting to ask this question because it's been on my mind, it also gave me some concerns..because don't be wrong, I'm someone who enjoys and adores shipping and has fun with it, but there is something that I never wanna see is to have a ship take over the story entirely, you know what I'm saying?

Anon, this is not a quick question lol.

Idk I don't think the love triangle is gonna be all that important going forward. It felt like there was going to be some love dynamic between Uzi, N, V, and Thad but as of episode 5 I think that's all mostly scrapped now. Thad is completely irrelevant and it seems like episode 5 cleaned up the romantic plot threads between N and V.

Episode 5 is... weird to talk about regarding the romance threads in the series. Like yeah, it does offer some Envy moments, but then once they remember everything they go back to their dynamic up to this point. V immediately wants to hurt Uzi while N is much more excited to see Uzi again than react to V's quick embarrassed blushy moment. The events of this episode and the lack of any shipping merch for N and V kind of seal the deal for me that Envy isn't happening. Episode 3 went all in on the shippy vibes between N and Uzi on the marketing, so episode 5 not getting any for Envy just feels like proof to me, honestly.

However, most of the marketing was about N and Uzi, and while they are the main 2 characters, it feels like this episode was meant more to progress their dynamic along than N and V's. N had been saving Uzi from something every episode up to now, and this was finally Uzi's turn to repay the favor and boy do I have things to talk about regarding that. Uzi having so much ability to really mess with N, but Uzi ultimately not doing any of that because she wants what's best for him. Which, you'll notice is what V also wants, but the difference is Uzi actually communicates with him while V seems stuck on what her own idea of that is. Like, Uzi clearly has a crush on the guy, but even though she's seeing his past with V and how close they were she doesn't take any action to make him stop remembering things. She actually encourages him to uncover as much as he can, which he thanks her for at the end. I don't know how to put it, it's just such a risk she took even though she knew it was the right thing to do and I just really like that aspect of her character this episode.

Anyway, that wall of text is to explain my reasoning behind what I have to say on the state of shipping after this episode. I think the endgame ship is going to be Nuzi because I see no meta reason to ship otherwise. That's literally the only ship with merch behind it and it's the ship Glitch and staff seems to like the most art of. I feel that going forward, the show will end up going that route with these characters and people will either have to accept that or drop the show if shipping is really that important to them. And tbh, Liam's works aren't that focused on shipping anyway. There's probably going to be romance, but it won't be a tumor on the show. I haven't read any of his stuff yet where it felt like the romance threads were hurting the story tbh. That's another point for Nuzi tbh in that pretty much all of his main 2 duos have the most ship tease in his writing. I would not compare his writing to those other shows because Liam's writing is so distinct and has its quirks. Also, Murder Drones is written by a single person compared to these network shows which are written by many people, which is how you get these convoluted romance plots in the first place.

People are gonna be toxic, that's just a given and especially so because the main two ships in this fandom are at odds with each other. Once the show commits to one, I think things will chill down. I will say though, all the stupid discourse I see about Disassembler/Worker ships is pretty bad and misinformation keeps this a hot topic in the fandom. It's not a problem, yet people keep making it one and I cannot understand how this happens lol.

And yeah it's probably obvious but yeah I'm Team Nuzi. I've just always felt like Liam was aiming for it anyway plus I have a feeling that if the genders were swapped, Envy would be no where near as popular as it is. I get the appeal of Worker Envy, but Disassembler Envy is a whole different beast where V's treatment of N is still completely unaddressed. That's not to dis V exactly, but I think people forget that she remembered much more than N prior to episode 5 and cared enough about him to try to keep him safe from the Solver shenanigans. Her methods for doing that, however, definitely need to be addressed at some point. Like again, people forget that she didn't do all that because she didn't remember, she did that because she was traumatized and ended up hurting N because of her actions. Regardless of why she did it, she's still very harsh with him and hasn't made any steps to fix this. Also again, not to dis her as a character, she's obviously made these choices out of trauma and I think that's pretty realistic.

N also has baggage that V's presence gets in the way of, but since he's been with Uzi for a while he's been getting through it. When separated from V, N learns to grow a spine and respect himself. I think V can learn and grow too, but only if she takes a leave from N to get her away from the living reminder of her traumatic past. That's why I'm personally not into Envy in the current time, they cannot reconnect in the same way anymore, they are simply too different from how they were back in the past. Reconnection means a whole new dynamic, and at this point I don't think romance is in the cards for this new dynamic.

[is-on-its-way]

In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son

Episodes: One Son/ Two Fathers

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Epilogue

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Chapter 2: I don't want to dissect everything today

Skinner has some advice for Mulder... which he listens to for once.

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(AD KERSH's office. SKINNER, SPENDER, MULDER, and SCULLY are present. AD KERSH is looking at photos of the burned bodies from the Air Force base. He is very upset by them.) AD KERSH: The way these people died... the loss of life here - it is beyond words. I can't imagine how it must be for you - losing your mother. SPENDER: Yes, sir. But that's not why I asked for this meeting. AD KERSH: Why did you ask for it? SPENDER: Because I'm responsible for the deaths of those people at the Air Base hangar in no small way. I certainly didn't prevent them. AD KERSH: I can assume then you can explain how they died? Because I have yet to hear any explanation. SPENDER: Agent Mulder can explain it. I think Agent Scully, to an extent. They might have even prevented what you see in those photos. AD KERSH: Agents Scully and Mulder have been suspended by the FBI. SPENDER: Also my doing... and my mistake. AD KERSH: I would ask... SPENDER: I'd ask, sir - before you tell me that it's not my business - that you do everything you can to get them back on the X-Files. Far worse can happen... and it will. AD KERSH: Where are you going? SPENDER: To pack up my office. AD KERSH: Agent Spender... (SPENDER leaves the office.) AD KERSH: (to MULDER, angrily) You have answers now? Why didn't I hear about those answers before? MULDER: I've had answers for years. AD KERSH: Then why didn't we hear about them? MULDER: No one would ever listen. AD KERSH: Who burned those people? MULDER: They burned themselves. With a choice made long ago by a conspiracy of men who thought they could sleep with the enemy. Only to awaken another enemy. AD KERSH: What the hell does that mean? MULDER: It means the future is here, and all bets are off. AD KERSH: Agent Scully, make some sense. SCULLY: Sir, I wouldn't bet against him.

Kersh pursed his lips and looked up at them. “Well until someone gives me some answers in the form of a typed up report I don’t want to see or hear from either of you. Your suspensions stay in effect until such time I read it and make my decision.”

Scully looked at her lap and Mulder looked at Kersh with a plain expression on his face hardly containing his contempt. 

“Get out of my office.” Kersh said in annoyance and authority.

Mulder rose and followed Skinner. As they walked out of the door Scully walked past them without a word and left them in the secretaries office. She stalked in the direction of the elevators.  

Skinner looked at Mulder who was looking sheepish. “Whatever you did to her, however you upset her. I suggest you make it up to her and mend fences. She’s the reason you’re still employed, however loosely, by the FBI. She has your back like no one else does here, don’t risk that for anything.” 

Mulder cocked his head not looking at him but at the door Scully had left through. 

“Yeah. Thanks for the advice.” He said absentmindedly. He wondered how much Skinner knew or had guessed about their partnership at this rare insight. 

He did have to talk to Scully. The stooges had been a little bit right. He had been a jerk at their place. But not because Scully might have been wrong, because he had so much else on his mind that seemed so dire at the time. Preventing an invasion of colonist aliens for one. That when she’d made it clear she didn’t trust his judgement, it had been the last straw for his patience.  But he’d been dismissive and mean in a way he’d never been with her. He’d hurt her, and he was terrified she would leave him for good. He needed to try to make this right. 

He would tell her he’d listened to her, he’d checked Diana’s. The only thing he’d turned up though was how comfortable the smoking man had been letting himself into her apartment.

She was right though. Without the FBI all they had was each other, and he didn’t want Diana to be the reason he lost her. 

·˚ ༘ ༊*·˚·˚ ༘ ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟﾟ･༘ ☾･ﾟ⋆･ﾟ:⋆·˚ ༘ ˚·˚·༊ ༘ ˚·⋆:ﾟ･⋆ﾟ･*☾ ༘⋆:ﾟ･⋆ ☾ ༘ ˚·˚·*༊ ༘ ˚·

She walked in and shut the door. She tried taking her coat off but her purse was crossed over her shoulder and prevented her from pulling it off. She felt suddenly trapped, claustrophobic and a white hot rage coursed through her veins at this small inconvenience, betraying the feelings she’d been burying since Diana had walked in full of authority while they’d looked like drowned rats.

She let out a cry of rage and frustration at the overwhelming mix of feelings. She kicked off her shoes and pulled the coat off over her head, bag and all, letting it all fall to the floor. Her jacket askew, she thew that off too. She ripped off her pants and kicked them off her legs. She dug under her shirt and unclasped her bra, pulling it off through her sleeve. It landed on the coffee table.

She stood breathing for a second eyes closed. She swayed, feeling lightheaded so she walked to the couch and fell face down. She screamed into a pillow, let her body go limp as she waited for her anger to subside.

The rage had dissipated some and now that she was calmer she recoiled at the hint of thoughts that she couldn’t face at this moment. She got up and opened the cabinet to her stereo. She pulled out ‘Jagged Little Pill’ and put it on at full volume. Not worrying about the neighbours as it was twelve in the afternoon. 

She scream singed lyrics while jumping around her living room. She hadn’t danced like  this since college but it felt freeing and nostalgic at the same time. The first song particularly resonated with her state of mind. Thoughts she didn’t want to think expressed perfectly in someone else’s art. 

… I'm frustrated by your apathy And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land If only I could meet the maker And I am fascinated by the spiritual man I am humbled by his humble nature, yeah And what I wouldn't give to find a soul mate? Someone else to catch this drift … 

She turned off her mind and danced wildly, all inhibition lost to anger and sorrow and confusion. At what seemed to be the end of her career, and the possibility that it all didn’t really matter because “aliens” or “men” were planning on releasing a devastating virus to the entire world in the near future; At the thought she should’ve stayed in medicine; At all the trauma she’d endured, had it been worth it? She’d accomplished very little and her rewards had been the loss of her ability to have children and to be most probably fired. 

And the one digging in her belly, the most hurtful of all of it, Mulder;  At the small feeling that had grown to a crescendo of disbelief since Mulder had treated her in a way shed never been treated by him; At the disbelief that she could have felt so happy and comforted by him only weeks ago at Christmas, or all those other times he’d been her guiding light and her rock. 

There was a knock on the door as she was standing on her couch, TV remote in her hand, used as a microphone.

“…You love, you learn You cry, you learn You lose, you learn You bleed, you learn You scream, you learn…”

She froze and stopped signing. Then jumped down and turned the stereo down. Maybe someone was home and they’d come to complain. She picked up her pants and with difficulty pulled them on. She threw open the door saying “Sorry I’ll turn it down…” 

But it wasn’t a neighbour. It was Mulder. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of her. She was sweaty, red faced, her shirt was askew, and she knew her hair had turned into its naturally wild wavy curls as she’d danced. She absolutely looked like she’d had a nervous breakdown. She found she didn’t care in the slightest.

“Mulder. What are you doing here?” She asked in a flat voice, not moving to let him in.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah I guess” She turned her back on him and threw the door open. 

He closed the door behind him and glanced at the piles of clothing shoes and bra strewn across the living room. When she reached the couch she turned to him and he glanced at her but stayed by the door. 

“I came to make sure you were okay.” He said concern in his voice.

“Im fine Mulder” She lied.

“You look it” Mulder said sarcastically. 

She didn’t answer. She owed him neither the truth nor a playful response. 

Mulder bit his lip considering her.

“Why did you defend me to Kersh? You don’t even fully believe my theory. You could’ve saved yourself.” She raised her eyebrows “I just thought… you said you couldn’t be in this partnership anymore.” His eyes searched her face begging for answer.

She laughed in disbelief, her brows raised. “Is that what you really think of me? Is that the impression I’ve given you over the years of working with you? Because if it is we really have a problem.” She folded her arms across herself, more for protection than anger.

“No. I…”

She cut him off “Im not a liar Mulder and I’m not Agent Fowley. I wouldn’t throw you under the bus to save myself.” 

“Thats not what she…”

“Thats exactly what she did and continues to do.” Anger erupted in her again setting her chest ablaze. “Where is she now Mulder? Where was she in that meeting where she could’ve been defending you? Explaining… anything? 

Mulder considered this, it was true, he hadn’t seen Diana since he’d sent her along ahead of him. They’d ID’d every body and she wasn’t one of them. CGB Spender hadn’t been found among the dead either. But as Scully said correlation isn’t causation. 

She shook her head. “She’s dirty and she’s involved with this conspiracy somehow. Spying on women who went through the same thing I did. And you scoff at that like it doesn’t matter. The lone gunman can see it why cant you?”

He started gently and calmly. “Diana is my friend Scully. She was the first person not to ridicule me about my work on the X files. There has to be some other explanation. But if you show me irrefutable proof Ill believe it. Its just… we’re in each others shoes here. I need more evidence.”

“You don’t trust my judgement. Yet you throw blind trust at her.” She sighed “God Mulder, you’re my best friend. I thought we had…” She stopped herself.

Mulders heart threatened to rip into pieces at this confession. He stepped towards her “You’re my best friend too Scully. Which is why Im hurt you can’t trust me on this. I did listen to you. I went to her place last night, thats why I was with her, I broke in and she found me. I searched for evidence of what you said. I listened to you, I did. But I didn’t find anything…”

“More nothing” She sighed.

“Thats not fair Scully… Look I wanted to come here and apologize for how I treated you when you told me, I was an ass. But I didn’t find anything… just…”

She waited as Mulder pondered as if he might be saying the wrong thing. The song lyrics were plain as day in their silence. 

… Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for That's not lip service You've already won me over in spite of me…

She turned and turned the music off. That was too on the nose perhaps. Too embarrassing. She turned back around. “Except what?”

“The the elder Spender showed up and let himself in.” 

Scully looked at him in disbelief 

“He had me questioning everything… I was ready to… I had given up and you convinced me to keep fighting for this mission. To try to stop them.”

“What mission.” Scully said defeated “We’re all but fired… and the syndicate is dead.”

“We don’t need the FBI to keep fighting this. The syndicate might be dead but this invasion isn’t guaranteed to be called off.” He walked up to her now close enough to reach out and touch her.

“What was the smoking man doing at Agent Fowley’s apartment?” She asked unable to ignore her curiosity

“He said he was looking for his son. I admit its a little weird.” Scully pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow in agreement. 

“I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was so preoccupied by everything else, Diana was the last thing on my mind.” He grabbed her hand “and I don’t want this partnership to end like this Scully.” 

She looked up at him “What can we do now, Mulder?” her brows knit as she thought. He’d used Fowley’s first name in the same sentence he’d called her by her last. Impersonal. Deliberate, maybe habit, but hurtful when it was so baldly stated.

She’d always thought it was special, his requesting she call him Mulder, not Fox. But Diana did, now that she thought about it almost everyone called him Fox and he didn’t seem to mind. Except when she did it.

“Or should I call you Fox? Everyone seems to call you Fox. I’m the only one who’s not allowed.”

“Scully, its not like that.” Mulder said stricken

“Then what is it like. Huh, Mulder? Explain it to me like you…” she halted and swallowed. Her face fell defeated. She didn’t want to think about all of this. She dropped her hand out of his.

“I need you to go.” She said suddenly disturbingly calm. 

“Scully please don’t shut me out.”

“I cant do this right now. Please.” she had desperation in her voice. Eyes not meeting his. She was begging him. He didn’t want to hear her like this. 

“Okay, Ill call you later.”

She didn’t respond as she closed the door as he backed out, pushing the door closed in his face.

She walked to the stereo and pressed play, biting her lip and holding back tears. She skipped some songs, picked up the remote and sang.

“You know how us Catholic girls can be We make up for so much time a little too late I never forgot it, confusing as it was No fun with no guilt feelings The sinners, the saviors, the lover-less priests I'll see you next Sunday…”

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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Epilogue

@today-in-fic 🙏

[eriexplosion]

Moving right along to Cornered

Listen the fact that Hunter was just going to take them to an uninhabited planet to hide out forever. The community themes of season 2 make much more sense as part of the overall plot when you look at that ORIGINAL plan. What if they just go to Idaflor and never see anyone ever again? A great plan!

"Can't we explore?" No Omega you will go to your empty ass planet and you will LIKE IT.

Genuinely the way that Omega is going to influence them is so clear in these early episodes. She wants to go out and engage with the world while Hunter especially wants to withdraw and put up barriers to avoid getting hurt. Omega trusts people and reaches out and it does put her at risk of getting hurt, but it's also one of her biggest strengths, because it's what lets her connect with people, and I think a lot of those connections are going to come into play for season 3.

Just squealing over this, Omega is the reason they all start to branch out with Hunter being the slowest (other than Crosshair of course who has a good excuse for not being ready given the whole Imperial Brainwashing followed by intense torture thing) and I think that the best ending isn't one where he sacrifices himself for them (he would have done that from day one, it's not an ARC) but one where he finally, finally lets himself open up to the world beyond just them, when Hunter lets himself and his family actually thrive instead of survive.

"Without the republic to provide us supplies we'll have to acquire these necessities on our own." Spoken like a man that is aware of the concept of credits but has never had to actually use them before.

The scene with the repairman is great, they are so unfamiliar with the concept of a bribe. Wrecker is so genuinely confused and just to make it clear this is not a Wrecker thing, Tech takes so long to fully grasp that this is what he's asking for too. He heard about this once but has never encountered it in the wild. And Tech tries to be SO SMOOTH about the fact that he doesn't know how much a bribe is supposed to cost.

Obsessed with this face he makes. Boggled! At The Shipyard!

AND IT WASN'T EVEN ENOUGH THE GUY CALLS FENNEC INSTANTLY.

Hunter has found the one (1) item they have that is worth money and it is a SINGULAR EXPLOSIVE. Everything else they own is presumably absolute garbage.

Echo's SUPER confident "NOT DRESSED LIKE THIS!" gets me every time. So proud of this droid disguise.

Do not be alarmed it is I, a harmless protocol droid that happens to talk like a drill sergeant.

Your explosive might be worth 1800 in the black market, and Hunter is still catching up to the fact that there are different markets to begin with.

Love the glimpse of Hunter's college bro self we get with the Selling Echo scene. Come on, it'll be fine, it's just a minor scam!

I AM WORTH MORE THAN 2000. Know ur worth Echo.

What does this look like from the outside that he's discussing the price of the 'droid' with said 'droid'?

Did they ever pay for that trooper doll or did Omega just commit theft with more steps?

I'm sorry I can't breathe looking at this picture. Hunter is so fucking pleased with himself, he did so good with this scam, and in the distance you just have Echo flailing their scomp arm like BROTHER... HELP ME....

The droid supervisor is so funny to me, they really just invented a whole series of protocol droids and made them want nothing more in life than to be a middle manager. And Echo just fucking pulls a blaster on her. She was NOT programmed for this.

Fennec introducing Omega to the wild world of theft with the least subtle fruit stealing I've ever seen.

Cannot get past how attractive the knife kept in the small of Hunter's back is.

Echo has unionized this droid workplace, time to stage a walkout.

I will say Wrecker should not have gone down to Fennec so easily. I blame his likely ongoing migraine from his desperately trying to activate chip.

Hunter stealing the speeder to get Omega, he's really in his crimes era this episode. And I still can't get over how funny his HanGiNG? line is. Please he's SO TIRED.

RIP to this guy that Fennec straight up murders.

Also shout out to this guy who is the most blissfully in his lane person in this episode. Flourishing.

Forgot Fennec also shot a traffic cop following up on the likely violation of multiple people hanging off a vehicle.

Replacements was tense and you know this because the high speed speeder chase is the breather episode.

My crime wife Cid is gonna be here soon and I'm so disappointed that I have to go to bed instead of going onto Rampage DAMN IT.

[nico-thenecromancer]

Identities are forever changing

���That does NOT take away from past experiences in said identities✨

For a bit I identified as:

"trans masc non-binary"

I realised, more recently, that just isn't me!

I feel more comfortable being on t and wanna get top surgery. At the time I used it I recognised that my experience was similar to a lot of trans mascs but more recently (in the past couple months) I noticed that I don't align with that identity in myself, like at all.

----------------------------------------------------

I feel so much more true to myself with just using the non-binary term because:

1. I'm too tired to use even slightly specific identity terms for myself

2.a) My gender is just too all over the place

b) Especially with how much of it isn't fully realised due to overcompensating for the dysphoria I feel with not having my true chest yet, that'll happen soon enough hopefully💅

P.S. I very rarely overcompensate because I'm worried how others will perceive my gender anymore (unless to do with safety risk) it's about my own comfort in my body

----------------------------------------------------

I'm still very much non-binary and feel a lot more comfortable on t and eventually getting these damn shits off my chest in the (hopefully near) future.

Other than that I wish to confuse others and place fear into the hearts of many with my gender. I actually tend to joke about not lowering my E because "I want to see them duke it out".

----------------------------------------------------

It's been really interesting as well explaining that I'm not even a trans man and that I have never even considered the identity in the first place (trans people who are close friends so it's never ill intent just confusion). Especially after my partner came out as lesbian and going "but" and proceeding to look at me.

I also thought to mention that I'm quite dysphoric looking like woman or a man. Yeah I'd "prefer" being seen as a man than a woman but it's like the better of two evils you know? It just hurts more being seen as a woman/girl because it's how I was viewed for 20 or so years.

----------------------------------------------------

I thought to type this here because it's an interesting discovery I've found in myself and just in case other people might feel seen in my reflections.

P.S. My feelings around no longer identifying as trans masc has nothing to do with gender expression alone as someone can be a trans masc and still dress very femme or not want/can't get hormones/surgery. I just don't personally align with the trans masc identity for myself.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

I always felt like I've been neurotic about finding my "soulmate". People have told me that I am as well. while I don't put men before my friendships, I'm sure all of my friends would describe me as boy crazy, which is hurtful but honest. But really I've never liked any of the men I've been with. I just am trying to find the person that I'm to spend my life with, and as an adult, I had my birth chart read and a trusted psychic told me a vision she had of me. Im neurotic about this because its true that there's one person that is for me and that has been the case in multiple of my past lives. same soul in each life, but different body of course. and that makes me feel a bit sad because so many people wouldn't believe me if I told them that and they think I'm crazy for believing it. but I do believe it because my family has deep ties with our cultural religion, which includes visions and spell work so. Anyway, I'm very preoccupied with things that I shouldn't be preoccupied with lol

It's east to get swept away with the concept of soul mates, but sometimes when we meet them, they aren't necessarily the version of you want them to be. It's by allowing yourself to fall in love with them that you'll bring out the best of them, and they, the best of you. And if they're not the one? The vibes won't feel right and you'll know right away.

As someone who also has cultural ties with this concept and believes in birth charts, I've struggled with this idea of only one soul mate. I don't believe that at all.

There's a book by Paulo Cohelho called Brida, whic reminds me greatly of your situation and I give you 2 passages which I think may help you in widening your concept of love and soulmates:

“if, in the beginning, there were so few people on the face of the earth, and now there are so many, where did all those new souls come from?"

The answer is simple. In certain reincarnations, we divide into two. Our souls divide as do crystals and start, cells and plants."

Our soul divides into two, and those souls are in turn transformed into two and so, within a few generations, we are scattered over a large part of the earth.

We form part of what the Alchemists call the Anima Mundi, the sould of the world; the truth is that if the Anima Mundi were merely to keep dividing, it would keep growing, but it would also become gradually weaker. That is why, as well as dividing into two, we also find ourselves. And the process of finding ourselves is called love. Because when a sould divides, it always divides into a male part and a female part.

In each life, we feel a mysterious obligation to find at least one of those soul mates. The greater love that separated them feels pleased with the Love that brings them together again.

But how will i know who my soul mate is?

By taking risks. By rising failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.”

2. “Choosing a path meant having to miss out on others. She had a whole life to live, and she was always thinking that, in the future, she might regret the choices she made now. “I’m afraid of committing myself,” she thought to herself. She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none. Even in that most important area of her life, love, she had failed to commit herself. After her first romantic disappointment, she had never again given herself entirely. She feared pan, loss, and separation. These things were inevitable on the path to love, and the only way of avoiding them was by deciding not to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, you had to renounce love. It was like putting out your own eyes not to see the bad things in life.”

If you have time, read the book. It's great for understanding that having a soulmate isn't as simple as finding the one and only because it's never one and it's never only.

[springtimesdaughter]

Hey Annon! I apologize for not replying sooner. I was avoiding PJO for awhile because of some conflict I had with some people, but I have been working on updating my Percy Jackson/Ethan Nakamura story. It won't be out any time soon, but it's been a couple years and my writing has improved a lot, plus there are scenes I want to add and change. I've been working on it the past couple of months. The new story already having 7,000 words and not even halfway through the outline I have. I can't tell you when it will be out (I have school and a job plus family obligations that I need to focus on) but I will get this done even if it takes me another six months to finish.

Thank you for the Percy/Ethan brainrot and ideas, and they were fun to look at, I didn't reply to any of it because I'm organized to an extreame degree and decided I needed to make a side blog for my PJO stuff before I could reply. Anyway here are some of my thoughts that have been long in the making.

1. That's such a cool idea. One that is really cute and sweet but one that I won't be including in this version of the story. Maybe I'll write another one with that detail, but I'm wierd like that and would deep dive the subject and end up learning about a very specific rural tradition about one village in an isolated prefecture and get so far off track from where I started. I'll keep the idea in mind, but my version of Percy and Ethan wouldn't do this simply because on the off chance that they get caught having similar iteams they wouldn't want to risk the safety of the other. In a timeline where the circumstances weren't as dire they sure would, but in this one? They already know what they are doing is very dangerous and any more risk could upend everything. Maybe I'll explore why they don't do it in the fic? IDK depends on how my writing goes.

2. Not at first they don't. They are so awkward in the begining and honestly cautious. Ethan because this is Percy Jackson someone with sometimes incomprehendedable strengths and powers, he wants to keep some distance, and Percy because Ethan could be a threat to his family and friends and he doesn't want them to get hurt. However after they get closer and start to realize any meeting could be their last? They hug all the time, stay in the others personal space, and soak up the presence of the other like it will replenish their strength. They don't do it in more public spaces though, who knows who is watching. However in more private settings they will be inseparable.

3. Them meeting multiple times on opposing sides before the Battle of Manhatten, mostly smaller missions and sometimes by surprise. Neither wanting to hurt eachother but knowing they have to keep up appearances. A new demigod saved from a hoard of monsters deciebed it like a deadly ballet. Both precise in the way they move, but sometimes almost manic in energy and controlled chaos. It was beautiful and unnerving and the new demigod would wonder what would happen if they even fought together on the same side. Of course no one would ever see them dance on the same side but it was just as much a beauty to watch them fight against eachother.

For some context the fic annon was referencing and I wrote is

Love Amongst War

The original version was posted in 2021 but this version is from 2022 and I hope to publish a new version in 2024.

And hey Annon you can send more asks to this account! The ask box should be open. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts.

To close out here is some of the stuff that will be in the new version of the story

- Percy and Ethan often split sweet treats multiple times. Ethan always makes sure they are split exactly in half.

- Ethan opens up about the cabin ideas earlier and many of the ideas he told Percy get implemented even if Ethan never gets to see them, Percy was always listening and what mattered to Ethan mattered to Percy.

[softpine]

For me the note was kind of irrelevant like it shows that Asa really didn't intend to hurt himself and just thought he was going on a litte jaunt to go find Finn but in reality whether he reveals his abilities or not it's a red flag that he's willing to hurt himself over a boy and I think you've said in the past that Beth wouldn't believe him and I'm sorry Asa but in their eyes this is the second attempt to take his own life even if he didn't mean to hurt himself and this is just a casual (?) s

i see where you're coming from, but i hope it's coming across that asa isn't doing this just for finn. i totally understand that the way i've been joking about this situation isn't doing asa any favors. i'm someone who's been affected by suicide and have felt at least passively suicidal myself for almost as long as i can remember, so i sometimes don't know how to talk about this stuff in a normal way lol

there's some stuff in your message i can't talk about yet without spoilers, but i would like to clarify asa's intentions. he may not be trying to die, but he understands it's a possibility and he's more than okay with that risk. in his eyes, he'll either find finn or die trying. that may be unconscionable to some people, and i understand that, but there's no way to get around the fact that feeling suicidal makes you a more selfish person. it just does. it's no one's fault, it's not meant to harm anyone but yourself, but the very nature of suicide means you're putting your own pain above anyone else's. please know that i only feel comfortable saying this because i've been on both sides and i know how it feels.

so to explain more about how asa feels, here's an example from my own life (this is a long ass trauma dump but stick with me if you can stomach it lmao):

when i started college, i chose to live in the dorms even though it wasn't required and was not covered under my scholarship, so i'd be paying for it out of pocket (i still am). i was so scared to leave my family and pets behind, but i thought the dorms would be an easy way to make friends on day one. none of my friends went to the same college as me, in fact my best friend went to school an hour away, which may as well have been across the country considering neither of us had a car. i signed up for a 2-person dorm room with a connected bathroom that i would share with 2 other people. but when i moved in, i was the ONLY person in that block of rooms for MONTHS. it was incredibly lonely. the whole dorm culture was nothing like i expected; everyone kept to themselves, no one left their doors open, the common rooms were dead zones, even at the dorm events/parties no one wanted to talk to me. i was just miserable. i felt like there must be something wrong with me if i couldn't make friends in a place that was literally created for making friends. and then i started to realize that every reason i had to stay alive was sort of gone now. before, i knew i couldn't kill myself because i didn't want my family to find me, i didn't want a huge deal to be made at my high school, i had a job i loved (but i got let go right before college), and i just generally didn't want to create trouble for anyone. but in my dorm? i was totally anonymous. if anyone found my body, it would be an RA whose name i didn't even remember. all my stuff was already packed into a few boxes i never bothered to unpack. in my mind, there was nothing keeping me here. it all culminated in this one random day which had started out completely normal. i bought a bunch of halloween decorations from the dollar store and i started decorating the outside of my dorm door, and i was finally feeling excited for the first time in a while, when my RA came over and made me take it all down. at that point, i was just done. i took all the decorations down and i went inside my room and i was so completely fucking ready to die. and i know that might be hard to understand for anyone who has never felt suicidal before, because like... they're cheap halloween decorations. but they were the last straw for me. now obviously i'm still here today because my plans got interrupted (actually it was a random phone call from my best friend, telling me she hated her school and wanted to know if it was too late to transfer and become my roommate; it was like something out of a movie), which i'm so fucking thankful for. but in that moment, i was ready to give up. and if things had gone my way, it would've seemed like i killed myself over $10 worth of halloween decorations.

how does this relate to asa and finn? well, losing finn is just his last straw. if asa's life was more normal than it is, he would be able to grieve the loss of a loved one and move forward with his life. it would be difficult, but he could do it with time. but given everything else going on inside his head, he simply couldn't bear one more thing. and finn is a pretty big thing. so on the outside, it may seem like asa is hurting himself over a boy, but it's not really about the boy. it's not really about the halloween decorations. it's just the last straw. and when you've hit your limit, nothing else matters. you'll start to convince yourself that no one cares about you anyway, and if they do, they'll forget about you soon enough. you can't apply real logic to these situations. but trust me, it will feel so silly when you're in a better place and you look back on all the awful, untrue things your brain said to you. and i hope you'll be able to see that through asa in the future!

this came in right as i was about to hit post jfksjds but don't worry, i didn't take it in a rude way!! you're exactly right that the note won't make anyone feel better; in fact stevie is the only person who will be able to tell what it even means. which is just further proof that asa doesn't grasp the full weight of his actions or how they will affect other people :(

[marjansmarwani]

20 Questions aka. Oversharing on the Internet version 92840938

Thanks for the tag @welcometololaland! Maybe reviewing all this will get me back in the writing spirit? 🤞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

147

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

749,567

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Lone Star, but I do have a Midsomer Murders fic in progress too

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Puzzle I Love to Solve (911 LS)

Friends Like These (911 LS)

Brother (I will hear you call) (911 LS)

Where You Go, I Go (a 911/Lone Star crossover)

tender-hearted sadness pulls me through the day (911 LS)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love reading them. andI try to respond, but lately (aka the past year or so) I just haven't had the bandwidth for it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

While about 85% of my fics are angsty, most of them have a happy ending. But not all of them. The obvious answer for this question is shut your eyes and fall apart (the one where I kill TK), but I think that my 2x02 coda - heavy from the hurt inside my veins - is a stong contender, especially with Nancy's section ending the fic. Honorable mention to time can heal, but this won't a 1x08 coda in which Carlos blames himself for TK getting shot.

Still, 3 out of 147 isn't bad.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them do, and it's too hard to pick one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Occassionally. If I do it's usually pretty mild and easy to ignore. I've only gotten really nasty hate once.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't usually, the closest I have gotten to a crossover is a fic from the show crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I have had an OC stolen "borrowed." That was weird to encounter in another fic.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once, and @justaswampdemon and I have one started. Someday we might finish it.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Tarlos has a very special place in my heart

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point? Any of them.

But in reality, I have some AUs I doubt will ever get past the outline stage, as much as I would like to see them done

16. What are your writing strengths?

✨Angst✨ But also, characterization and pacing I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think I have done it once or twice, but I think it depends on why you are using it. If it makes sense and it's not being used in a sterotypical or insensitive or fetishining manner, then I typically say go for it. That being said, personally I would only do it with Spanish because that's the only other language I feel comfortable writing in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In peak early 2000s teen fashion, Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I can never decide, so here's a few honorable mentions:

You Can Learn to Love (Again) - Teacher AU

you can't hide from time - the one where I created the 252 crew

why can't I hold on? - my gwyn fic

I promise you that it's worth the risk - Amnesia fic

I am not what you planned - Dr. Reyes/Paramedic Strand

would've loved you for a lifetime

no pressure tagging a few people: @reyesstrand @justaswampdemon @moviegeek03 @morganaspendragonss @detectivecarlosreyes @kiras-sunshine @sunshinestrand

[stilesstilinski1111]

Guys I noticed somhing while rewatching and reading/writing fanfiction for stiles and his romance in Teen Wolf. Stiles doesn't get jealous. I'm not saying he doesn't have jealous feelings, he just never expresses his jealousy in any way. I'm not trying to talk bad on any fanfiction that people write woth him jealous, it just seems wrong to me when I read it. And I've realized why.

For context I'm rewatching season 4 and mostly thinking about Lydia's past relationships and Stiles' relationship with Malia.

In season 1, he seems to express jealousy against Jackson for dating lydia. But I disagree. I think Stiles has a good sense of people, and he simply hates Jackson, he's a jerk. And because of it Lydia is in a toxic relationship. Idk if he consciously recognizes that, but he cares about Lydia, he doesn't want to tell her who to like/date but he also recognizes it's not healthy for her. It's more "Lydia you can do better" not "Lydia pick me, not Jackson". For more examples of this, the behavior between Stiles and Aiden. He only expresses negative behaviour only when the twins are trying to manipulate and threaten Scott. He backs off when they work to change for the better, and never really interfered with Lydia's relationship with him.

In season one, I think he expresses his interest in Lydia more freely. When season 2+ happens he backs off on expressing interest and only works to make sure she's happy, and safe. He really only does everything he can to protect her and make sure she's happy.

Now, stiles relationship with Malia. Again I can't remember much what happens in s5 and 6, I'm rewatching it. But it seems we don't see much of Stiles side of the relationship with her. In my opinion, I think Stiles is looking out for her like he does everyone in his friend group (which even includes Derek somehow). I'm not saying he doesn't love her like that, I just think he mostly likes the fact she likes him. If you notice, Malia is the biggest instigator to any sort of physical contact. She's the protector, the big spoon, the one to sneek into his room at night, etc. And Stiles mostly just looks out for her and help her fit in. For example, he keeps the secret over father from her, and they had a falling out. I'm not saying any of things are nessisarily bad, it can even develop into a romantic relationship quite easily. I'm saying, he doesn't express the same feelings like he had with Lydia in the past. For example He would often over think gifts for her on her birthday, or be overly ecstatic over taking her to the dance. To name a few. After the two (Malia and Stiles) temporarily broke up in s4, they both struggled to communicate. Malia had every right to be upset, but they only talked things out when Scotts mom locked them in a room together. At that point, the point we're they communicated, was the point where I thought their relationship had more to it than the simple give and take it was based on before. (In all honesty I think it started out as trauma bonding an nothing more).

The only time he shows anger is when someone he cared about was in danger. Romantically, it was whenever Lydia or Malia was in danger. He only ever expressed concern for their safety, not jealousy in who they expressed interest in. Example was when he yelled at Lydia in s1 when she worried about Jackson, but Jackson was on a murder spree. He was trying to express that wounds hurt more than the person they were inflicted on. He was telling her he cared, when all she wanted to do was risk everything, even her life, for Jackson. It wasn't in jealousy of Jackson, it was fear for her safety.

What I'm trying to say is, Stiles had a low self esteem issue. I know this isn't a huge shocker.

But he probably thought he didn't deserve any romances. His romantic interest in Lydia in season1 never escalated. It only developed somewhat in later series because Lydia got cought up in Stiles' n Scott's and supernatural issues. Stiles thinks so little of himself he doesn't blame people leaving him. He'd never abandon a friend but he'd never expect more than being a decent friend from them. Stiles is too passive to make rude remarks, or passive aggressive actions on people's romantic decisions. He's too passive to try and make them stay. He's ok with people simply being friends and nothing more, because he doesn't think he should deserve more than that.

In s3 He began expressing no disappointment for his own death after he was split with the nogitsune and dying, as long as he wouldn't be the cause of his friends pain. And it broke my heart because no one told him otherwise. Well, except Scott, who tried his best to stick his neck out for stiles. Except, Stiles would die for his friends. Scott just wouldn't ever give up on his friends. And what I remember in s5 was Scott even held to his own values above his friendship. So I kinda have mixed feelings that I will not get into rn.

Stiles constantly risks his life. He constantly tries his absolute best. He always puts his friend's needs first, and will drop everything to come to their aid. And he would rather die first than witness or be the cause of their suffering or death.

I'm not really expecting anybody to go to quite that extent of extremes for stiles, I just want Stiles to get a happy ending. That's all. They kinda didnt do that. I personally have a small grudge against Lydia for only realizing how important he was only when he was gone. She would always turn to him at her lowest points, because he'd always be there for her. But then run off with someone else. He doesn't deserve that.

I just want someone to love the little idiot, and for him to realize he's worth the love. And if nothing else, learn a little self love.

[adreamareads]

Teaser Tuesday

I can never make the "snippet sunday" or "wip wednesday" thing work so I'm calling this "teaser tuesday"

How it works: share a bit of your current WIP. This could be a bit from the actual story, or it could be a graphic, or a summary - whatever you want to share, please do.

Here's a bit from what's shaping up to be a 13-chapter piece called Adventure Saturday. It's also looking like it will be rated M which is the highest I've ever written. It won't be explicit, but I think the allusions to sex will be a little too much for a T-rated story.

Chapter 2:

“Yeah, I know,” Alex agrees. “But it got a laugh out of you anyway.” He bumps Henry’s side with his hip. “And you love me,” he adds. Henry nods. He does, wholly and completely. “The lake and the dog beach is just this way,” he nods ahead of them. “Just over 300 metres.” “And what is that in American?” Alex asks. Henry lets out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know. A football field, perhaps? What would distance be measured in when using American as a system? I can probably approximate it using miles, but I often see Americans using random measurements.”

Chapter 3:

Alex grins and captures Henry’s lips in his once again. “We should get up soon,” he says reluctantly, catching sight of the time, then immediately contradicts this with more kissing and no moves to get out of bed. “Unless today’s adventure is here in bed,” Henry offers. “Nah, I have actual plans for us outside of the house today,” Alex says, and he’s not thrilled with his past self for that decision right now. He knows they’ll enjoy themselves when they’re out, plus the extra plans he put into place last night that require them getting to their destination or risk hurting multiple people. “And we really should get going. Tomorrow we’re staying in, though, and if that includes spending all day in bed, then I’m willing to forgo our usual Sunday chores.” “Willing to forgo chores to spend the day in bed with me?” Henry repeats wryly. “I’m flattered.” He stretches and Alex admires the long, lean lines of Henry’s body. 

And that's all you get for today! I have Adventures 1-5 completed and 13 started. No, I do not have 6-12 even started beyond bullet points, but I'm jumping around to follow the muse.

Tags: @inexplicablymine @cha-melodius @historicallysam @orchidscript @cricketnationrise