#2 very important mods lemme tell you

[lokiina]

Okay but, hear me out for a second...

[cookiescribble]

Flufftober Day 2: "Left. Other Left!"

A/N: this one was very fun to write, we had a blast writing out their accents. also neither of us speak french, sorry 😅 -mods angel & ghost

Pairing: Gambit x Rogue

Summary: On a trip down to Louisiana, Gambit learns the hard way that there's important duties for a passenger princess, much to Rogue's dismay.

~~~

“CHÉRE, TURN LEFT!” Gambit shouted from the passenger seat of the car as the couple was passing an intersection.

With that, Rogue veered the wheel to the left, turning the car violently in the direction she was told.

“DAMMIT, CHÉRE, YOUR OTHER LEFT!” Gambit threw his hands up in exasperation, gesturing in the opposite direction they were turning.

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH WAY IS LEFT, YOU SWAMP RAT??” Rogue yelled back at him, starting to pull the car over. “SHOW ME WHICH WAY YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!”

Gambit proceeded to point in the direction he’d meant. 

“…Remy Etienne LeBeau, that is RIGHT!!!” Rogue sighed incredulously.

“…Is that…not the same as left?” 

Rogue paused to drop her head into her hands. “This is gonna be a long drive if you’re gonna do that the whole time.” 

“Do what the whole time, chére?” Gambit sighed, waving his hand nonchalantly.

“Give me the wrong directions! If you can’t tell right from left, we’re just gonna be going ‘round in circles the whole time!” Rogue made circles in the air between them with her finger to demonstrate.

“But it wouldn’t be too bad if I get to spend more time with you, non?” He flashed her a dazzling grin.

“Not when we end up at the bottom of the ocean! Listen, sugah, I love you ‘n’ all but you gotta be clear with what ya sayin’!” 

“I was clear,” he asserted, a sly smile on his face. “You just didn’t undastand me, that ain’t mah fault.” 

Rogue let out an annoyed groan. “Gambit, I will turn this car around. Or I will throw you out of this car if I have to,” she pointed her finger at him like she was an angry mother.

“Don’t be so harsh, petite, I’m not usually the one behind the wheel.” Gambit shrugged with a simple shake of his head before leaning back in the passenger seat, his arms moving to support his head as his eyes slid closed, “if you hate drivin’ dis much, maybe you should just fly us dere,” he moved slightly to mime flying with his hand.

“You’re a real comedian, ain’tcha? Maybe I should let you take the wheel, then we can see how long it takes us to drive there.” She takes one hand off the steering wheel, pretending to fully let go so he’d dive forward. 

“Mon dieu, chére, you’re gonna put me in an early grave with stunts like dat.” Gambit sighed as he realized that she still had the wheel, letting himself relax back into his seat.

“You’ll be fine, I’m pretty sure we’re almost there anyway,” Rogue chuckled with a quick roll of her eyes, watching the road. “Where does the map say we are?” 

“Uhh…” he fumbled with the map for a moment, squinting as he tried to read, “we’re in… Boswel.” “Boswell…in INDIANA???”

“...No?” “Lemme see this dang thing.” Rogue pulled over again then leaned in to look over his shoulder, before smacking him upside the head. “You idiot, this whole map is upside down!” When Gambit looked confused, she turned the map the right way up, to which he started looking sheepish. “Chére, I have some unfortunate news for ya” he grinned as she sat back in her seat, hearing her groan as she snatched the map from him. “Oh, do ya? I can’t imagine what that might be.” She couldn’t help smiling, the charm he had winning her over even though she was frustrated. “What would you do without me?” 

The car fell into silence as she poured over the map, calculating how long it would take to get from what was most definitely Indiana down to Louisiana, “I’m not sure when we’re gonna make it down to your Pa’s, sugah. We’re pretty far outta the way.” “It’s alright, chére, I’m just havin’ a ball drivin’ with ya.” He grinned as he spoke, taking one of her hands off the map to hold it since she had her gloves on. “It can just be you and me now. We’ll find some place to stay, try this again tomorrow.”

“…alright, but I’m in control of the map next time.” she turned the car back onto the road as she spoke, “I saw a sign for a motel a few miles back, we can stay there for the night.” 

“Sounds good to me, petite, as long as I’m with you,” Gambit replied with a wink.

“Do you have an off switch?” Rogue rolled her eyes playfully.

“Why, would you like to find it, mon amour?” He countered, his voice provocative, a teasing smile on his face.

She just scoffed and brushed him off, driving them to the nearest yet least filthy motel she could find, putting this trek to an end.  When they eventually got back to the mansion a few days later, Rogue told the rest of the X-men the story. Gambit was never in charge of directions after that.

[outoftheframework]

my proposal for tropes we as a fandom should adopt in all fanworks going forward: Duke Thomas edition

So every fandom has tropes and characterization quirks that have been generally accepted into fanon and, like, maybe? they were originally based on some obscure comic panel from the 80s or something but it doesn’t really matter because we’re all just,,, cool with it? Like for example- in the dc comics fandom, an art piece could show 3 of the bats that look virtually identical except one of them is holding a box of cereal so that one is obviously Dick Grayson. . . Y’know?

Anyway, these things usually come up naturally I guess but I’ve been here a while and it’s finally time to put my foot down. It’s high time for Duke Thomas to be more in fanon than “the sane one.” Because he might be the relatively new guy but he is certainly fears no gods or laws of the land just as much as the other bats, lemme tell ya. 

TL;DR here are character quirks (”canon-based” or otherwise) that we should all really latch onto seriously I’m begging y’all to make at least one of these happen-

Duke “Habitually Jumping Out of Moving Vehicles” Thomas

This one’s actually based in canon y’all; Duke did indeed yeet himself out of the back of a cop car and off of a bridge (in We Are... Robin). Normalize Duke’s wearing knee and elbow pads as Signal because jumping out of a car turns out relatively fine once and then suddenly Batman’s rooftop disappearing act seems mellow compared to the amount of times Gordon has whipped his head around to see a now Signal-less backseat. 

Like, he’s going 60 mph?? And he didn’t even hear the door open?? and tHE DOORS ARE STILL LOCKED??

Imagine this leaking into civilian life and Bruce waking up to a blurry photo of Duke mid-escape from a limousine on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

(more under cut)

Duke “Puzzles are my Passion” Thomas

Duke is ~canonically~ very skilled at both solving and concocting riddles (as a child during that time where The Riddler just,,, controlled Gotham, he worked non-stop on riddles, trying to make the perfect one). Please y’all- let Duke solve puzzles. Have the other bats ask him for help after 36 hours straight of brooding over some brainteaser that Duke works out within the half-hour. He texts a picture of the solution scribbled out on loose leaf in the margins of his pre-calc homework because this boy shows his work. 

My guy is a word-cross FIEND. A mind-sweeper speed-runner. That guy who mails into the Gazette to correct a solution in the “fun & games” section and also ps that photo is not of me I am simply a polite young man who is much too busy writing into the paper in the year 2021 to jump out of limos-

I also would love to see this integrated into the type of cases he investigates / runs into on his daytime patrol. Like, obviously the criminal activity is going to dramatically differ before and after sundown, but that doesn’t make Duke’s work any easier or less important. It’s a different skillset; he has to work differently. Instead of jumping into fights, halting mob meetings, saving civilians in dark allies, etc. Duke has to sort through all of the moving pieces before they all converge into something catastrophic. 

It’s a known fact that criminal organizations in Gotham make and execute a lot of behind-the-scenes plans during the day specifically not to run into the bats. And Duke knows and monitors this shit all by himself; his work is crucial to logistics and information gathering for the bats as a whole. Now criminals have like, a 2 hour gap between bat-shifts to try and get stuff done. But Duke would 100% set traps on timers or lead them on this pre-set convoluted goose chase  to distract them until the night bats come out and to let himself enjoy the whole thing playing out on the news while he finishes homework that’s due at midnight.

Duke “I Know a Guy” Thomas

So in going off of the basic concept for the “We Are. . . Robin” run in combination to his general likability, Duke has a lot of friends all around Gotham. Okay, sure, he doesn’t have a Super best friend or a Speedster on speed dial, but he does know this guy who details cars up on West 35th and will tell them all about the new mods on Black Mask’s transport vans if they come through the third floor window and bring takeout. 

Bruce and Tim will be waiting for the facial recognition software to identify at least a partial match off of security cam footage when Duke pulls into the cave, takes one look at the screen, and says “Oh, that’s <insert name, address, abridged life story, and known associates here>.” This also brings in the opportunity for Duke to have some sort of perfect recall for faces, voices, names, etc. which I think could be a really cool element for his position as the batfamily member who has a lot more personal interaction with the people of Gotham.

I’m also into the idea of a lot of people knowing/telling stories about Duke. Not to reference the Chuck Norris meme but almost like the Chuck Norris meme lmao. Think about Jason mentioning his brother to someone and she replies, “Duke Thomas? Like that Duke Thomas? The one who swam across the harbor because he said it’d be faster than the subway and it actually was?” These stories have varying levels of truth to them but Duke will never confirm nor deny when he gets random calls from family members yelling “you dID WHAT”

So those are my top three, and the following is a little speed-round of headcanons :)

Duke has a super expressive face. Like when he’s relaxed around family, you can tell exactly what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling by his visual reactions to things

Duke rotates through picking up new and revisiting old hobbies at a pretty rapid pace. Some hobbies include: bullet journaling, origami, viola, cello, synth, conversational basics in multiple languages, up-cycling and embroidering clothes

Duke has a really fucking adorable smile. He can’t help it. He’ll try to grin sarcastically or smug to be annoying but his smile just cannot be anything other than endearing. He also has a very specific booming laugh that’s an absolute treasure to hear, because it’s the most genuinely happy thing ever. 

Duke unironically enjoys Signal by Twice even though the first time he heard it was after Steph had set it as his morning alarm.

So.

Come and get your food, I guess.

Feel free to add on if you’d like! I’d love to see anything you guys write/draw/etc. based on anything from here if you feel compelled to do so!

Stay safe and be well :) 

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 109 1Xs2) "Welcome To The Hotel Diablo"

@crystalbaby12 @5sosfam1dlover @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @rosefilledhearts-blog

Luna and Ashley may have a strangle on the #1 slot with Nightmare sitting tight for it's seventh week but Colson continues to control a vast majority of the Billboard Top 20 Pop Charts as Hotel Diablo debuts at #5. Not only with the two hits he has with Luna and Dom but also including a few of his own singles.

I Think I'm Okay has been holding strong at #2 for the last four weeks. Keeping the #1 position on the Alternative Charts for it's third also. Bad Things having it's own place at #3 on the Pop Charts for it's third week. Hollywood Whore is up three slots, grabbing the #5 spot this week while THAT Type replaces it at #8. El Diablo is sitting at #11 for it's own consecutive week while Bebe's climbing back up alongside THAT Type as Candy makes it's entrance at #19.

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Landing in Cleveland, everyone is pumped. Luna, Pete, Sam, Benny, Ashley and Dom excitedly passing Congratulations to The Boys over Hotel Diablo's immediate success. Everyone's coming in to town tonight. Meeting up for a full performance of the album at the Agora Ballroom for fans then another more intimate performance at Velvet Dog for the album's release party.

Dispersing from the hanger, Slim heads to his own Ohio home, Baze taking Sam along with him to his. Pete, Ashley, Rook, Dom and Benny dipping out to Colson's Cleveland House to meet up with Bullet while he immediately goes over to Emma's with Luna to see Casie.

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"Oooh, Sugar... I'm so fucking proud of yooou!! You have FIVE top 20 hits right now... We're gonna have to look some shit up, Buns, because I don't think anyone's ever done that before!" Luna gushes in the back of their Uber as she sprinkles his grinning face with kisses.

"No way. I'm not breaking any Beatles or Micheal Jackson records...." He pauses. "You really think it's possible?" Colson asks with hopeful look twinkling in his brilliant eyes.

"I do...." Luna reassures him as she pulls out her phone. "Here..." She says after a quick internet search. "You haven't broken anything yet... But you're close as fuck." She shows him her phone.

Only The Beatles out rank him with six Top 10 hits from February 29 to May 2, 1964. It's actually incredible and nothing he ever expected. For one of the first times Luna watches Colson go silent.

"I can't believe it fucking debuted at Five, Baby." He lowly admits with a slight hint of red to his sweet cheeks.

"Ohh, I can. You're whole soul is on that record." Luna replies with love.

"That's what I'm afraid of..." He says even lower.

"People always resonate with honesty, Bunny." She tells him, giving her opinion. "Why you think your fan base is so strong? Because you've always been honest." She pulls his cheek over to kiss it with her words.

"I love you." He turns to grin at her again while meeting her mouth.

Somehow, Luna always knows what to say to Colson. Whether he's at his most shittiest, pushing full confidence or the lowest of his lows, she never fails on telling him the truth in how she sees things. Colson doing the same for her. Neither being aware of deeply they truly take care of each other mentally.

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"PEANUT!!!" Colson shouts with a bellowing laugh as he scoops Casie up and spins her around.

Luna and Emma watch the two of them with their hearts oozing after they had greeted each other. Without thinking, Luna laces her hand inside Emma's and lays her head against her shoulder. Slightly catching her by surprise as she easily accepts Luna's affection.

"I love the way he loves her..." Luna sighs wistfully. "He's such a great dad."

"It's one of his best qualities." Emma agrees with a smile as she holds Luna's hand a little tighter. "Think you guys'll have kids?" She asks with a genuine interest.

"I... I don't know...." Luna trails off honestly as she lifts her head up, not bothering to mention Colson or Casie's wants from her.

"I think you'd make a great mother." Emma says, looking directly at Luna. "I see you with Case and how you make Colson a better man.... Not that that's any reason to have a baby... I'm just saying... Should it come, I think you'd be really good at it."

"Wow.... Thanks. That means a lot." Luna smiles thoughtfully.

Squeezing Emma's hand, she nestles back on top of her shoulder with Emma resting her head onto Luna's. Any jealousy or disparity from NY's lunch having already dropped away. Both thankful to have the other in Casie and Colson's life above all else.

Once Colson's finished with her, Casie greets an ecstatic Luna. The young woman dipping down to squeeze the little girl with love. Coaxing her inside with the promise of a new present to her parent's amusement.

"You didn't have to do that." Emma says after Luna gives Casie the new Nikon and tries to show her how to use it.

"Photography is my first love and she mentioned how she wants to learn, so how could I not?" Luna asks with a shrug and a bright smile. "Oh... And thanks for hooking me up with Bonnie. She's been beyond wonderful!" Going on to express her gratitude over Emma's connection and friend.

"Yeah, no problem. She had mentioned last week that you guys have been in contact. I'm glad to have helped... I can't wait to see how it turns out." Emma smiles warmly at Luna.

Colson's been watching all the important females in his life intently. Truly appreciating how easily Luna and Emma have gravitated towards each other while also attending to the youngest. It's easy to see the deep respect and enjoyment they hold for each other. Even in another life, they could easily be genuine friends also.

Grabbing Casie around the neck, he wrestles her around. Many shoutings of DAD escape as she tries to wiggle away to no avail.

"Wanna come to the show tonight?" He asks her as he slightly loosens his grip. "Don't play with me." He lightly shakes her when she hesitates with a sarcastic Uhhhhmmm.

"YEAH I wanna come!!" She grins up  at him. "Mom, can I?" She asks looking over.

"Yeah, Ma. Please." Colson pleads with her as he smirks.

"Ash gonna be there?" Emma asks to Colson's nod. "She'll bring her home after the show?"

"Lemme check." Colson reassures her as he let's go of Casie and digs into his pocket.

While Colson's on the phone, Luna chats with Emma about an array of things. Tonight's shows and the upcoming weddings along with Casie's findings and her adventures during the tour. Their conversation flowing easily while Luna continues helping the little girl figure out how to take pictures with her latest, prized possession. Her attentiveness not being lost upon the mother just like her dad.

"Ash said she can drop her off tonight before the album release party and then I'll just pick her up tomorrow before the Pop Up." Colson interupts them when heading back into the kitchen.

"And you'll keep her until when?" Emma asks.

Colson looks at Luna. "Uhhhh..." He hesitates.

"My girlfriend Deanna is flying in on Monday to try to finish up the wedding fittings... So Tuesday by the latest if that's okay?" She shrugs at Colson before looking at Emma.

With Casie's eyes pleading and her body hopping around her, it's hard for Emma to resist. Not that there's any reason to. Laughing, she says Yes to her daughter's excited hugs and kisses.

After Luna convinces Casie to leave her camera at home tonight, they hug and kiss Emma GoodBye. Arrival texts being promised as always before the trio wave GoodBye from inside the Uber.

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Back at The House, Colson's stoked to find Mod, Noah, Phem and Caroline. Along with a ton of packages and everyone else. Opening the boxes, he starts to shout for The Gang.

"Yo!! Pull up!!" He hollers. "I got one for you. And one for you. One for you and for you...." He says, handing the small boxes to Caroline, Phem, Mod and Noah before calling the others over that aren't within his long arm's reach.

A box goes to Slim, Pete, Baze, Casie, Rook, Dom, Benny, Bullet, Ashley and even Sam. He sets two boxes to the side for Ashleigh and Dub. Along with a handful of other's, amongst them are ones for Naomi, Trippie and Skies. Pulling Luna close, he hands her hers.

"Aight, bitches open 'EM!!" He shouts with a huge chuckle and grin.

Inside the box is a beautiful, thin, platinum and diamond encrusted Double X pendant on a slim rope chain.

"You're determined to have yourself all over me, hunh?" Luna asks with a snicker as she looks up at him.

"You fucking know it! Two rings, two tattoos, two necklaces. Two times, Kitten. Two times!" He grins wider at their inside joke while scooping her up to kiss her as Thank Yous explode all around them.

"GANG!! GANG!!" Slim shouts as he throws his arms up into an X.

Colson puts on Luna's necklace as Ashley helps Casie with hers. Everyone else assisting one another. Walking into the kitchen, Luna grabs a can of Sprite and an armful of beers. Passing them around, she opens Casie's soda before cracking her own beverage.

🎼Mothafuckas//KNOW//Who rides wit THIS Gang//By the way we be rockin'//Our Double X chains//They too soft//To know//HOW HARD UP WE CAME// Still swangen' around//Keepen' that//Bangen' A Rang thang//Got the baddest bitch//Locked wit tattoos and a rang//Checkin' into HOTEL DIABLO//You know shit's gon' be//FUCKIN' INSANE🎶

Colson shouts, bouncing around as they toast to Family and Hotel Diablo. His intimate circle hooting at his epic freestyle while Luna rolls her eyes and kisses his jawbone. In his soul he is still very much a Wild Boy.

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"Oh, Bunny..." Luna coos as her thighs tighten around Colson's waist.

They're upstairs in the shower getting ready for Colson's Big Night. He grips her ass as she clutches the back of his neck, thrusting him deeper inside of her. Both are panting in the steamy air as they suck on and fuck each other passionately. Pulling on the other's hair as their bodies throb and they pound themselves into one another.

"Fuck Kitten, you ready?" Colson gasps when he feels himself tingle from the upcoming explosion.

"Mmmhmmmm...." She moans as she bucks against him faster, giving them both permission to let go.

"Fuuuuuuuck....." They both sigh out in content as Colson continues to hold Luna and they rest their faces in each other's necks.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I have something for you..." Luna says while they're both still naked from their ShowerFuck, offering up her black portfolio case after finding it amongst their luggage.

"What's this?" He asks with intrigue, remembering the last gift the leather casing had held for him.

"Fuck.... I gotta get that framed." He suddenly thinks. "It'd be perfect in The Brownstone...." His mind drifts as he begins to muse to himself.

"Open it..." She encourages him with a gleaming smile. "I've been working on it for a minute..." She says as her lips drop into a tiny secret.

Unzipping the case, Colson is presented with another canvas. This time displaying an oversized painted replica of their punked out bunny. The background is a deepish purple with edgy whisps of creams and light colored violets flowing through out it. Making the hints of color in the white cartoon animal pop out of it's heavy black outline. The feeling easily representing Hotel Diablo's black and purple atheistic.

Arranged around their matching tattoo, with some items being embedded into the canvas, are physical pieces from The Tour. Their key card from The Watergate, the crumpled receipt from their coffee order in Detroit, a ticket stub from the planetarium in Texas. Amongst them is also the peeled off lable from their bottle of SpringBack 1919 they had shared in the San Francisco speakeasy and her BackStage pass from the Pittsburgh show. All secured and decorated with a slight black outline to showcase each of them.

A little larger than his huge thumb are eight small, intimate pictures of the two of them sprinkled throughout. Some are selfies but other's aren't. Luna breaking her own rule and using other's photography in her art. Angled in the the bottom right corner, in a black and light purple twist, lays a mutilated copy of Luna's lips spelling out Bad Things. Dotted in an iridescent paint to make it sparkle in dark wonderment. Fully tying the whole piece together.

Luna's art is truly like no other's. Combining multi-medias and dimensions with her muse's soul lingering inside of it. Colson's eyes are wide the way they were the night she gave him his first gift.

"Ready?" She asks, popping the switch sitting underneath as he stares silently holding her work.

Their bunny's eyes light up in a low, blue glow from the tiny bulbs buried deep inside the canvas. Colson's heart stops. Reminding him exactly of the night they met.

"Holy fuck, it's beautiful." His heart explodes once it begins to beat again. "How the FUCK does she do this shit...." He thinks in admiration as he continues to look it over.

"Wow." Is all he can say as he stares at his gift.

Luna watches as Colson takes his time absorbing the new piece. Her soul gleaming as he excitedly points out all their little memories. Once he's fully taken it in and sets it down, Colson pulls her in with one strong arm by her waist. Giving her a meaningful kiss.

"You like?" Luna asks with soft eyes and a loving smile.

"I fucking LOVE." He easily declares.

"Cool." Luna smirks, replying just the same as before as she kisses him back and wraps her arms around his waist.

"Thank you." He tells her as he runs his long fingers along her wet skull until his large hands cradle her head.

Colson kisses Luna with a passionate gratitude. Dipping their naked bodies onto the bed, he slowly and sweetly makes love to her. Taking his time as he softly kisses her while overfilling her body with himself. Running her hands lightly along his body, Luna enjoys their tenderness.

"Oh SHIIIIT..." Luna lowly moans as he kindly gives them both exactly what they want.

Sighing contently, wrapped in each other Luna and Colson let their kisses linger on each other's lips. Genuine and truthful I Love Yous being passed between them as they enjoy their quiet, intimate moment together.

Finally gathering themselves, they proceed to burn and chatter together as usual while they get dressed. Colson still railing his preference of Adderall while Luna pops her own three percs. She's trying hard but the gaping hole that ripped her shoulder muscles in two REALLY fucking HURTS.

Colson's dressed in all black while Luna pulls on loose, ripped jeans and a white crop top. A red and black flannel loosely tied around her waist as her hair flows wildly with a touch of natural curl.

"Make sure you wear your ring tonight." Colson tells her as he pecks the top of her head.

"Always do..." Luna gives him a weird look as she tosses up both hands, wiggling her fingers to display each of her beloved rings.

"Fucking better." He taunts her, slapping and jiggling her ass cheek to her pleased giggles as they walk out of the bedroom.

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The Agora Ballroom is sold out and jam packed. Colson is putting on a special concert to debut Hotel Diablo in full to ONLY his hometown.

Everyone is there. Colson, Ashleigh and The Boys. Luna, Casie, Pete Ashley, Dom, Sam and Benny. Mod's there, so is Caroline and Noah. Trippie Redd, Naomi Wild and Lil Skies all coming through along with Phem to perform their features. Backstage easily overflowing with artists and friends as Dub and Johnny come trickling in with a few other long time Cleveland friends. Sporadic industry pals making their way around also.

"What's happenin', My Dude?" Colson happily greets his friend with a dap and huge hug.

"Nutten' man... Worken' on the album, taken' care of Baby Girl. You know how it be.... What's poppin' wit 'chu?" Dub asks nodding in Luna's direction.

"You talk to Slim, hunh?" Colson shakes his head with a grin.

"More than your bitch ass." He replies with a joking tone.

Colson can see Luna but with the crowded room it's hard to get her attention. "Thanks Tommy." He thinks, smiling to himself, knowing exactly how to grab her.

"Hold up." He tells Dub before cupping his mouth with is hands and hollering "BROOOOKLYYN!!"

"This man..." Luna's mind laughs as she looks for Colson. Catching his eye quickly, she smiles brightly at him. "FUCK, I love his stupid ass." Her brain continues to tease her as she makes her way towards him.

"What's up, Ya Nut?" She chuckles once she reaches him, standing on her tippy toes to kiss his lowered cheek.

"Kitten, this is one of my bestfriends Dub. Dub-O... My Bitch, Luna fucking Smith." Colson beams with pride as he introduces the two.

"It's so nice to finally meet you! The way Colson talks about you, I feel like I already kinda know you." Luna says warmly as Dub loosely accepts her hug.

"That's funny because he ain't told me shit about you." He answers her with a snide look at Colson.

"Oh. No pleasantries? Straight to the Gate? Aight. What's good?" Luna's tone changes immediately as she pops her chin out with her last words.

Colson starts to laugh when Dub's top lip snarls at her fierce response. Cocky in his own right, Dub doesn't hesitate to hit back.

"You tell me, seems you always got my boy caught up in some shit." He cuts.

"Excuse me?" Luna draws back with her eyebrows furrowed.

"What the fuck you talkin' about Dub-O?" Colson jumps in with a slight attitude, just as confused as Luna.

"The streets speak, Kells." Dub says turning to Colson. "Word is Eminem's gunnen' for you even harder after whatever YOUR bitch pulled in Detroit." He continues as he shoots a glare at Luna.

"Motherfucker, you're out 'chour mind." Luna laughs at him. "And your streets don't know SHI..."

Colson cuts her off before she can finish, questioning his friend "What the FUCK you talken' about, Dawg? Luna held shit down as always and fuck that little bitch ass pussy. Let him come see me. I'll fuck his punk ass up again." Colson spits out.

"Bunny, don't." Luna says as she slips her hand into Colson's, both knowing she's trying to hit that natural anxiety reducer. "Look, I don't know what you heard and honestly, I don't care because it ain't right." She says directly to Dub before looking up at Colson then back at him. "But you better believe..." Luna continues looking straight into Dub's eyes as she points at him with her free finger. "Imma give you a legit reason not to like me if you fuck up his night... Because bestfriends don't do that shit." Luna states coldly before grabbing Colson's chin, planting a solid kiss on the side of his jaw and stalking away.

"WHAT THE FUCK DUB-O?" Colson balks angrily.

"I had to see if she could hang." Dub smirks at Colson bewildered confusion. "Slim said she rides hard for you, I had to see how hard." He laughs lightly with a shrug.

"You're a fucking DickHead." Colson snickers once he realizes what his friends play was. "Yo, you better get correct with her, she ain't nothin' to be fuckin' wit." Colson begins to laugh as he shakes his head.

"I see... Something tells me she can take a joke though." Dub laughs louder with amusement along with his old friend as he Buddy Slaps on the back.

"Actually, her fucked up ass probably would appreciate your stupidity." Colson continues laughing as the two of them turn towards the BackStage madness.

Luna's grooving. She'd love for all of Colson's friends to like her but unlike him, she doesn't give a flying fuck if they do. Honestly, she could give a flying fuck if anyone likes her. The less people that like her, means the less people that she has to unwillingly talk to.

Oddly enough, she's a hypocritical social butterfly. Floating around as she hangs out with their friends and kindly introduces herself to Naomi, Trippie and Lil Skies. Meaningfully gushing and talking to each of them regarding their personal contribution to Hotel Diablo. Going as far to tease Trippie about his Plan B, yeah. She loves the whole album, how could she not express her adoration and appreciation towards their work on it.

"Kitten..." Colson calls for her.

"You're on in 20." Ashleigh says, trying to redirect him.

"Hold on." He says putting up his index finger. "BROOKLYN!!" He says a little louder catching her attention.

"Hmmm?" Luna asks once she reaches him.

"I FUCKING love-LOOOOVE YOU!! He declares as he wraps a long arm around her waist and plunks a heart felt kiss onto her lips.

"Love you, Bunny." Luna giggles in sheer content as she pulls him in for a tight lip lock. "Fuckin' kill 'em." She grins as she squeezes his ass and sends him OnStage.

------------------------------------------------

The Band had been teasing his unknowing fans all throughout June with Sex Drive as they waited for his set to begin. Those who had experienced it, make the connection immediately and are going wild. As Cara's voice floats over top of them, welcoming them to The Hotel Diablo, the venue erupts into an excited explosion.

Colson is electric and in rare form tonight. The success of his album finally sinking in has him running, dancing and jumping like an overexcited puppy.

Luna's SideStage with Casie, Ashley, Pete, Ashleigh, Sam, Dom and a few others kicking out the lyrics to El Diablo as they bounce to the contagious hit. Jumping and pumping their fists as they pass bottles of Jamison and rattle along with Colson.

🎶I KNOW//PEOPLE HATE ME//JUST BY MY APPEARANCE//YOU MOTHERFUCKERS//CAN'T BE SERIOUS//EH🎶

Luna and Ashleigh shout as they bop together and thrust their fists into the air. Dropping their curled hands as they continue spouting about throwing dice and keeping their circle tight. Spinning their fingers in the air as they groove and grin at each other laughing. Pete headlocks Luna making Ashley shove him as AJ opens up with Hollywood Whore. Stopping them all in their tracks as the sweet reminder of Chester radiates through their souls.

Riding the riff side by side, they recite the lyrics alongside Colson. Happily joining them is Mod, Noah, Caroline, Phem, Johnny and Dub. Whose intently watching Luna. There was only a half truth to his rudeness towards her. He don't trust THAT Bitch at all. He also hasn't spoken to Slim in a week either.

As the bass kicks in the group of them slam into each other. Luna holding Casie's hand and protecting her with her body as they continue to sing along and bash into one another. The crowd is insane. Shouting the chorus along with Colson as he raps about two faces trying to fit in to his world when there's no new space while wanting to get him to commit third degree murder. Undercover exposing those who tried to play him like a Hollywood Whore in the City of Danger. Watching Colson rip into his guitar makes Luna's nipples hard as her pussy begins to salivate for him. He's fucking hot. On and off stage.

Colson talks to his family about the relevance of the song as the main chords to Glass House lowly play behind him. He mentions how he misses too many of his friends. Chester, Nipsey, Mac... Too many to list. Luna can hear his voice break slightly as he asks the crowd to sing along with him and Naomi.

Luna doesn't sing. She can't. It's one of the many songs on this album that breaks her heart too much. Holding Casie against her, she wraps her arms around the little girl's shoulders as she tries to hold back her tears. The ballroom is shouting along with Naomi as she begs to be thrown into damn flames and to be buried with gold chains. Luna braces herself and Casie for the most gut wrenching part of the entire album.

🎶Lately//I've been sick of livin'//And nobody knows//How I'm really feelin'//I always hated to smile//But I keep//What is killing me//Hidden inside//I didn't sign up//To be the hero//But I don't want//To wind up a villain//I put my daughter to bed//Then attempted//To kill myself//In the kitchen//Yeah//I should've screamed//But//Nobody listenedSo I passed out//With the blood drippin'//In this glass house//Feelin' like a prison//Me and death//Keep tongue-kissin'//I just fell out//With my lil' bro//The life gettin' to us//The drink gettin' to us//The drugs gettin' to us//It's highway to hell//And everybody knew//What the fuck//Were we doin'?🎶

Colson runs the bars flawlessly. Luna can't help the tears that drop from her eyes as her breath shudders. The truth of his lyrics are too painfully as she holds Casie a little bit tighter. With her mind flashing back to Justin's blank eyes she can't help the range of emotions she feels while thinking of Casie dealing with Colson in the same situation. Luna closes her eyes as she holds the little girl close and wishes for the song to end.

It does. The context of the next song isn't any easier though as Burning Memories kicks in. Colson's words shattering Luna's heart into a million pieces. The recording is nothing compared to his live voice finally asking his mother how she could leave him for another. Luna can only slightly vibe with everyone else as they sing about him dying before he wakes. Lil Skies comes out to the crowd's cheers to ask for Love and Truth before Luna's soul flips with the liquor in her stomach as Colson sings along with his fans about their dark days coming in the summer. Feeling the rumble of their voices, Luna finds it both amazing and soul wrenching that the album only dropped this morning, yet almost the whole venue knows all of it's intimate words.

Ashleigh grabs Luna's loose hand as she watches the blood drain from her face and tears drop from her unknowing eyes. Her touch and Pete's voice asking about More Dracula as him and Colson laugh and recreate the skit OnStage pulls Luna back to her senses.

"You okay?" Ashleigh asks her friend with concern.

"Yeah... It's just harder to hear it live." Luna sighs.

"I know..." Ashleigh squeezes her hand.

The lead up beat to Floor 13 starts flowing through their blood and Luna is quickly out of her wicked head. Smiling at Ashley, they rapid fire the lyrics at each other along with Colson. Luna laughs when he mentions what will happen upon a physical run in and Casie's hands. Rocking her good shoulder into the tiny Baker, Luna grins at her. Shooting finger guns at each other as they let off with her daddy.

🎶I heard that//They call me//Yeeeah//Let 'em in//I got somethin'//For 'em//Yeeeeah//Please forgive my sins//Blood on my//Ralph Laureeen//I can't wash this shit//Wake up//Say//Good morninnnn//Like I forgot🎶

Laughing, Luna swings Casie around from behind after singing the chorus together. Whispering Hotel Diablo along with her ASMR into her ear with a giggle. Casie cheeses while squealing and squirming out of Luna's grasp. Grabbing Pete and Ashleigh's hands as her dad kicks into Roulette.

This is Luna's favorite song on the album. She happily dances, sings and raps along with Noah, Mod, Ashley and everyone else about that Mothafucken' Rida Music. Sliding her thumb along her latest gift, Luna keeps her body rolling as she drags the double X along it's shiny string. Her and Noah grinning at one another as they share another bottle of Jamison and ask the other how many times they're gonna play with death before their 30yrs old. Cause they're chosen.

Things lighten up as The Boys joke around about Baze being Truck Norris. They were so fucked up the night Slim drunkenly tried to compare him to Family Guy skit with Chuck Norris's beard that none of them would have even remembered if it wasn't recorded. It's Benny's laugh that highlights the inside joke placed track, bringing a much needed lightness to the heavy album.

Naomi comes back in as her voice haunts the crowd. Taunting them as she sings about death in her pocket and how she feels so alive. Luna and Casie are holding hands again as they recite the lyrics along with Colson as he reminisces about him and Slim trappen'. Before he can mention his worry about passing down his addictive genes Sam scoops Casie up from behind. With so many people SideStage, this is the first time Sam has been able to make her way over to her smaller friend.

"What up, Homie!!" Sam laughs as she kisses Casie on the side of the cheek.

"SAMMY!!" Casie shouts excitedly as she turns to hug the dark haired drummer.

"I missed YOU!" Sam exclaims as she sprinkles kisses all over Casie's face. "I got you something..." She says as she digs in her pocket.

Candy is floating through the back Luna's mind as she watches Sam present Casie with three small band pins. "Who is this person?" She laughs to herself. "I wonder if this is how it felt with me..." She thinks of how six months ago she wouldn't have touched a child with a 10ft pole but now couldn't imagine not loving Casie. "Life is so fucking weird..."

"Shit Loons, I'm so sorry!" Ashleigh interupts her thoughts. "You're on in like 10 and I know you're not dressed."

"5:3666 is up after this, then me?" Linda asks as she hears Colson's opening chords to I Think I'm Okay.

"Yeeeeah..." Ashleigh answers sheepishly.

"Fuck it, how do I look because I'm not missing this song." Luna grins as she displays herself to Colson's manager.

"Great as always." She sighs out a laugh of honest relief.

"Then let's FUCKING GOOO!!" Luna shouts, grabbing her hand.

Pulling Ashleigh along, she rallies Casie, Sam and Ashley. Easily pushing their way to front right stage. Holding hands, jumping and screaming along with Colson, Dom and their fans, the group of girls rage.

🎶Watch me//Take a good thing//And fuck it all up//In one night//Catch me//I'm the one on the run//Away from the headlights//No sleep//Up all week//Wasting time//With people I don't like//I think//That something's//FUCKING wrong with me🎶

Everyone goes ballistic as Dom sings his solo. The venue is throbbing as they continue to rip through the pop punk song. Dropping their guitars, both boys jump into the ocean of waiting hands as they continue to sing together.

Climbing back OnStage, they grab their guitars again. Finishing out the song with multiple layered, intense GoodNights. The voices singing along with them so powerful, Luna swears she can feel the stage shake.

"Give it up for my brother, YungBlud!!" Colson shouts to the crowd's roars.

Phem joins The Band OnStage. Her moody voice wrapping around Colson's equally dark lyrics perfectly. His EST Fam chanting word for word with him. There is not one person in that building who isn't a Machine Gun Kelly fan. As the song comes to an end the ASMR of Luna and Colson in the studio plays over the speakers, making the walls shake in anticipation.

Dub continues to watch Luna as she swigs the bottle once more before disappearing. Like most people, he's not quite sure what he thinks of her.

------------------------------------------------

"Meh... Ash and Case seem to like her and she definitely ain't a member of The Slut Squad...." Dub thinks to himself while observing Luna. "Maybe she ain't as bad as Slim made her out to be.... She definitely got an attitude." He chuckles to himself. "Kells needs that though. Fuck... I don't know... who am I to judge.... Especially if Case and Ash bang wit her... Guess we just gonna have to see..." Dub decides as he watches Luna head OnStage.

------------------------------------------------

They start off as they have the many times before. Luna opening up delicately at the piano before Colson leads her out and The Boys kick in heavy behind them. Slaying his guitar, he raps about giving one another life while suffocating in the other's kiss. Bouncing around the stage, buzzing and teasing one another while promising each other how they'll want them forever and take them where ever.

🎶I'm just a LunaTic//With her Gunn//When we're together//Bad Things happen//The way you touch me//Is better than ecstasy//When we're not together//I still feel you//Coursing through me🎶

Luna and Colson hit the second chorus again together as Rook slams into his kit and Colson continues to shred his guitar. He tosses it SideStage as he joins her for last few verses. Pulling her in close as their bodies rock together and rush for the other. Grabbing her hand The Band drops away as they harmonize the last lyrics together.

🎶I'm all in//There is no maybe🎶

As they finish, Colson twirls her out. Letting go of her hand, Luna stops. Drops her head back with her arms at different angles and pops one knee. The response to their performance is volcanic. The crowd erupting for an ENCORE as the lights begin to go down.

Colson can't hear them, just his one thought. "I am going to FUCK the shit outta her..." His mouth salivating as he scoops her up to invade her willing mouth.

"You're so fucking hot." He pants as he continues to kiss her. "I wanna run an encore for El Diablo. What do you think? We'll get everybody OnStage?"

"Fuck YEAH!" Luna agrees kissing him back. "You tell The Boys, I'll grab everyone else." She grins.

"I fucking LOVE YOU." Colson tells her with a light laugh as he kisses her once more before they seperate for their missions.

-------------------------------------------------

Word Limit 1 of 2

To be continued....

[shestillhasherquill]

At the Heart of Darkness (4/11)

So sorry for the late update. I truly can't say enough thanks for nice words - that’s right. I read your tags. Keep ‘em coming.

I'm slowly making my way through the collection of fic at the @captainswanbigbang tumblr page and lemme tell you - there is so much freaking talent out there, man. Kudos to the mods for making this event happen this year, and for bringing us all together.

As always, I'll be remiss if I don't thank @sambethe for being an amazing artist to work, a wonder second beta, and a true friend in times of need. You need to check out the artwork she's done, and the banner on her tumblr. I can't wait to share the others as well.

@downeystarkjr made my mom want to read my fic, which is saying something. My mom took one look at the video and she goes "wow, your story sounds interesting. Are you nice to Emma and Killian in this one?" and I'm reply, like the overdramatic fuck I am "Mom do you know me but at all?" Anyway, the point is, you should check out the incredible video she's made for the fic and just GO LOVE IT OKAY?

Writing this fic with minimal feedback was hard, really. If it weren't for @accio-ambition‘s snarky comments about how rude I'm being to our babies and her rare but true praises, my head would have blown up. Thanks for keeping me rooted, Janet.

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblr ao3 ff.net

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 3: These memories will stay with me

“Emma? What are you doing here?” Killian asked, approaching her. He had seen her in his dreams so often the past three months, and often wondered if he would ever see her again in real life. But for her to actually be here, in front of him, after three months of silence - more than anything, it only served to confuse him further. Everything about her being seemed to put him on edge. As if he had forgotten something very important; it was the feeling when you’re uncertain if you turned the gas off before you left home. Either you come home and everything is fine, or you come back to impending disaster.

“You know her?” Will asked from behind, but Killian simply ignored him, his eyes only for the woman in front of him. She hadn’t said a word since her greeting, as if she was afraid of him. Just the thought of it made him uncomfortable. He never wanted her to feel like he was a threat to her.

“Is there some place we could talk?” she said finally. Glancing at Will, she added. “Privately.”

He nodded, pointing out a coffee shop just opposite the bookstore they were at. “I’ll meet you there in 5 minutes.”

Emma nodded, smiling stiffly at him and waving half-mindedly at Will before leaving. Killian turned to his friend, anticipating the third-degree.

“So, I’m assuming she’s part of the thing you’re dealing with?” Will asked, arms crossed and eyes guarded.

“Ah- well, I guess you could say that?”

“You don’t sound so sure there, mate.”

“I met her once, Will. But I feel like I’ve known her for longer than that.” Killian began, but stopped when he saw Will roll his eyes.

“Killian, that is such a cliche.”

“No, Will. It’s not like that,” Killian protested. “Do you remember when I told you about my dreams?”

Will looked puzzled, but nodded anyway, clearly unsure of where Killian was going with this. “She was in them. I think she always was.”

“You’re overthinking this. Those are just dreams, nothing more.” Will placed both his hands on Killian’s shoulders, making Killian meet his gaze. “You need to stay rooted in reality, Killian.”

“I am. Dammit, this is more than just dreams.” Killian pushed him away. “You’ve known me since you were 25. For years, mate. You’re my sponsor, my friend. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, but I think after all these years, I at least deserve some trust.”

Will deflated, looking put-off. “Alright, fine. Go, chase after some girl you think you know. Don’t come running back to me if she thinks you’re crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!” Killian called after himself, rushing out the door.

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

“Am I crazy or do you see it too?” Emma asked out of the blue, staring at the shimmering surface of the spell that kept Alice trapped.

“Do I see what, love? Use your words,” Killian said patronisingly, not looking up from the book he was reading. Emma shot him a glare but before she could point it out, the shimmer disappeared and it was blue skies again.

“Nothing, forget about it,” she murmured, going back to helping Alice with her arithmetic. She didn’t understand why Killian insisted on this nonsense when he could be teaching Alice about things more fascinating. Arithmetic was the dullest subject she had ever studied as a child, and she never thought she would have to be faced with it again once she had come of age. Regina had been very particular about Emma’s education, pushing her to excel in all subjects. Emma would spend hours on her sums, worrying her head off about underperforming and facing Regina’s wrath.

“Did you see something?” Killian pushed, putting his book down and staring at her sharply. He looked ready to battle.

Emma rolled her eyes at his dramatics. “It was just the barrier spell. I keep seeing it from time to time.”

“What’s a barrier spell?” Alice asked, looking up from her addition. Emma did not understand why Killian insisted that a five-year-old needed to learn addition, but Alice seemed to actually enjoy it. Emma would not be the one to tell her how useless it was. She had been lectured by Killian enough when she spoke about it with him.

Killian shook his head, glaring briefly at Emma. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, Starfish,” he replied. “Now, are you done with your sums?”

“Almost,” Alice replied, begrudgingly focusing her attention back on her work.

Emma gaped at Killian, not certain why he wouldn’t just tell Alice the truth. She might be five, but she was an intuitive child. Alice already knew she was trapped in here; Emma did not see the point in not telling her what a barrier spell was.

“Jones, could I see you in the kitchen, please?” Emma asked through gritted teeth.

Killian frowned at her, unable to understand her frustration. “Aye. Starfish, keep working on the sums for Papa, alright?” he added, nodding when he got a murmured acknowledgement from her.

He followed after Emma to the kitchen, his eyebrows raised at her defensive stance - nostrils flaring and arms crossed, a deep-set frown fixed on her face. “What’s the matter, Swan?” he asked. He had taken to calling her that now - Swan, as if they were familiars.

Maybe they were - she was living at his residence, spending all day with him and his daughter, she had even gone on a supply run for them so Killian didn’t have to leave Alice alone like he usually did. But being this familiar - it felt like a big step for Emma, like she was putting down roots, and caring about these people. She was only here to help free Alice from this tower. She was a means to an end to them, that’s all. Maybe it was wrong to want to be a part of this family, to insert herself in it. Maybe she shouldn’t say anything to Killian about Alice after all, lest she cross her limits.

“Emma? Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” Killian prompted when he received no answer to his earlier question.

She blew out a long breath, resting her hands on her hips instead. “You know I care about Alice.”

“Of course I do. Why-”

“Just- Listen. I know I have only been here for a few weeks, maybe a month, but I’ve grown close to her. To you both, I think. I- I don’t want to overstep.”

“Overstep? Do we have a problem here?” he asked defensively, his jaw clenched and face guarded.

“I just don’t think it’s right to not tell Alice what the barrier spell is. She already knows she is trapped in here. She is already exposed to that. It’s not fair to her-”

Killian cut her off, his tone icy and curt. “You’re right. It’s not fair for her to be stuck here. It’s not fair that she has been exposed to something this cruel so young. But I do my best to keep her mind off of it, as much as I can in a day. You’ve only been here for a month. I’ve been here with her for five years. I know my daughter; I’ve held her all the nights that she has cried out for a mother, for her freedom, to have another child to play with. I’ve seen her heart break more times than I can count. She’s a child - my child. If I choose to not tell her something, I get to do that. I’m the only parent she has.”

Emma was flabbergasted, stuttering through her apologies. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“You didn’t - what? Realise that I might have an idea about what I’m doing? That I know how to raise my daughter?” he snapped. She could see how much he struggled to rein in his anger. She should have listened to her gut and kept from poking her nose where it did not belong. She did not belong here, and she had to remember her place.

She held her hands up, feeling remorse choke her. “You’re right. I didn’t realise that. I’m truly sorry, Killian. I know I have no rights here to comment.”

“You’re right. You don’t. She’s my daughter, not yours.” And with that he walked away, leaving Emma with a mountain of guilt.

-/-

Present Day: Land without Magic

Killian stood outside the coffee shop he had asked Emma to wait at, staring at her through the glass, just observing her for a moment. She was too busy stirring milk into her drink to notice him, so he took the chance to prepare himself. He had a feeling that the moment he entered and they talked, his life was going to change, like a gut-instinct. One side was telling him to run away and the other telling him to face whatever it was. He squared his shoulders, pushing through the glass doors.

He walked toward the table where Emma was sitting, his heart fluttering slightly when she looked up and smiled brightly at him. It felt like the sun was shining after a rainstorm; he mentally shook himself from the love-sick direction his thoughts were headed in. “I’m sorry if I made you wait too long,” he said in greeting, taking the seat opposite her.

She waved away his apology, lifting her beverage at him and pointing to the additional one in front of him. “It gave me time to get myself something to drink. I wasn’t certain what to get you, but I didn’t think I could go wrong with some coffee. I hope that’s alright?”

“Yeah, no. That’s- Coffee’s good. Thank you.” He sipped at his own drink, not knowing where to start. How could he outright ask her where she had been the past three months? He barely knew the woman! Thankfully, Emma saved him from the awkwardness by starting the conversation.

“You must be wondering why I didn’t contact you for the past three months. And why I showed up out of the blue at your book signing,” she started, folding her arms on the table.

Killian tried to gauge her expression, but it was impassive. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I wasn’t certain if you were just ignoring me.”

Emma shook her head, quick to reassure him. “No, no. Nothing of the sort. I was- I was occupied with work and couldn’t get away until now.”

Killian wasn’t sure she was telling him the truth, but chose to ignore that. No matter what her reasons were, she was here now. He would finally get the answers he was looking for. “Emma, I need to ask you something. This might sound crazy but-”

“It’s about your dreams, isn’t it?” she asked, cutting him off.

Killian’s eyes widened and he unintentionally leaned away from her. “How do you know that?” he demanded, eyes sharp and unwavering from her.

“You told me you’ve been having dreams that you were Captain Hook,” she replied calmly, as if that explained everything.

“What does that have to do with-”

“You didn’t let me finish. Killian, that wasn’t a dream. That was a memory. You are Captain Hook.”

Killian would have laughed if her answer did not feel like a vat of cold water being poured down his back. He blinked at her, trying to process what she just told him. “I’m sorry - did you just say that I’m Captain Hook?”

“Yes. You are. You just forgot who you are.”

“How is that even possible? I remember my past here. I had a brother, I was in the Navy. I had a life here, and that did not include me being Captain Hook!” He slammed his hand on the table in frustration, making everyone in the coffee shop stop what they were doing and stare at him. When he glared back at them, they went back to minding their own business.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Emma said, reaching for both his hands, like she had done the last time they had spoken, startling him once again at how she reached for his prosthetic without flinching. “I know you’re overwhelmed, and that what I said sounds ridiculous.” She paused, as if waiting to see if he was listening. “But some part of you must know  what I’m saying is real. Your dreams are just a way for your memories to manifest. You said you remember having a brother? You did. And you were part of the navy. Just- just not in this realm. Your life here, your past...it’s not real, Killian.”

“But it is. My past may not have been, if what you say is true. But my life here is still real,” he replied vehemently, removing his hands from her hold. He thought he had been ready for some explanation to his dreams, but now that he had heard this one, he couldn’t help but think it absurd. There was no possible way that he could have forgotten an entire lifetime’s worth of memories.

“If what you’re saying is true, then how am I here? And why do I not have my memories?” he asked, his gut clenching anxiously.

“I promise, I will explain everything in detail. But not here.” Emma held out her hand palm up, her eyes imploring him to give her a chance, to trust her.

Killian could see her emotions clearly on her face; she let herself be vulnerable. If he chose to, he could walk out of here and he would never have to see her again. He could do that. But instead, he relented, grasping her hand with his:  “Alright. Let’s go back to my place, and we can talk.”

Emma smiled gratefully at him through pursed lips, and Killian could see her struggle to keep her tears at bay. He felt a lump in his throat, seeing her response to his show of trust in her. “Thank you, Killian.”

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma felt uncomfortable after her argument with Killian, knowing that she had taken things a bit too far. She had crossed a line, about Alice no less, and now she was on uncertain ground with Killian. Again. She needed to get out for a while, allow him to calm down and clear the air of this tension. She feigned the need for some supplies for a spell and scaled down the tower. But it was not before Alice had made her promise that she would return again. Killian barely acknowledged her, simply nodding when she told him she would be back before sundown.

“Is there anything you need me to get?” she asked softly, unable to meet Killian’s eyes.

“It’s not necessary,” he replied curtly, turning his back to her. Emma could understand a dismissal if she ever saw one and left wordlessly.

She took her time to walk to the nearest town north of the tower, knowing to avoid the town she had been chased out of. It allowed her time to think, but she would be fooling herself if she expected to be able to think of anything but her fight with Killian. She hadn’t realised what a big folly she had committed by questioning his parenting skills. Of course he had been angry; she had no place passing judgement, she was not a mother - in all reality, Alice was the first child she had ever spent any extended time with.

Emma absentmindedly played with the ring she was wearing. Her mother had given it to her, it had been the same ring that had brought Snow and Charming together in the first place. It was a symbol of their true love, just like Emma herself was. Snow had told Emma that true love follows that ring, but Emma stopped believing in that a long time ago. There was no knight in shining armour or Prince Charming to save her - the only one who saved Emma was herself. She had been alone for very long time, and she was good at that. She had been fine by herself; but when she found herself living with Killian and Alice, she realised that simply because she was fine being by herself did not have to mean that she had to be alone. She felt like she was a part of something, that the broken pieces of all three of them came together to make something resembling a whole.

But she had been fooling herself. She did not have a place in that family.

She wanted one, though. This was the first time she was admitting it to herself, but Emma wanted so much to be a part of something. She felt her chest tighten with disappointment, and she was grateful that neither Killian nor Alice were around to see her this way. She brushed aside the few tears that had fallen, and strengthened her resolve - she was going to do everything she could to help Alice. That little girl deserved far more than being stuck in that godforsaken tower all her life. It might take her a while, but she was going to build the perfect spell - one that would not only break the barrier that was around the tower and kept Alice inside, but one that could never harm Alice ever again. With her mind made up, Emma walked determinedly toward the market.

-/-

Present Day: Land without Magic

Killian unlocked the door to his house, allowing Emma through first before he followed her in. He took his coat off, making sure to hang it on the coat rack. Then followed with his suit jacket, which he proceeded to fold meticulously and place on the back of a chair. He watched as Emma took in everything, her gaze critical. She ran her finger over a painting he had done, tracing the brush strokes.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, almost to herself. But it became clear that she had been talking to him when she turned and asked, “Did you paint this?”

“Yes, I did. It’s-it’s just a hobby,” he replied, tugging on his ear and looking at his shoes in embarrassment. When he looked up, Emma looked pensively. “What is it?”

She shook her head, biting down on her lip. He could tell that she was hesitant to tell him, but if he was going to get the entire story out of her, she ought to feel like she could tell him anything. “Emma, you can tell me anything,” he assured her, approaching her.

She relaxed slightly, looking around his house again before meeting his eyes. “The life you have here, with these memories - it’s different, but there’s echoes of your- your other self everywhere. It just disoriented me a bit, I’m sorry.”

Killian’s expression softened, seeing how conflicted Emma seemed. “Do you want to sit down? We could talk, and you can tell me everything about this other self,” he said, leading her to the couch.

Once they both were seated comfortably, Emma began her tale. “I know you want some proof that what I’m saying is true. I have something you gave to me a long time ago. It holds some of my magic, so I can use it in this realm, the Land without Magic.” She pulled the ring she had been carrying with her, holding it out for him to take.

Something about it felt so familiar to Killian, his chest feeling tight as he reached for it. “I- I gave you a ring?” he asked, indirectly asking the question he really wanted to ask. Did I propose to you?

Emma breathed deeply, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. Her meaning was clear when she replied with a simple, “Yes.”

“Oh,” he breathed, his hand clenching around the ring, his gaze fixed on her face, wishing he knew what she was thinking. But her face was impassive, giving nothing away. It occurred to him how difficult this must be for her - his other self probably loved her, and he doesn’t even remember it.

“Do you believe me? Do you- do you feel anything at all? Or remember anything?” she asked, sounding hopeful.

“I think,” Killian paused, evaluating his feelings. While his mind argued vehemently against this, his heart was a completely different story. He had felt something from the moment he met her, and it had to have meant something. Life wasn’t a romance novel, there was no such thing as love at first sight. But maybe...maybe there was a dormant part of him that woke up when he saw her that day at the bookstore. As crazy as it sounded, it made sense to him. Her explanation helped make sense of his conflicted feelings, of his dreams, of his demons.

“I want to believe you,” he said with conviction. “But I need to know more. Or I need to get my memories back.”

Emma looked like she was trying hard not to kiss him, but he could see how happy she looked. Her eyes crinkled at the corners when she grinned, her laugh lines more apparent. He could see the tears welling in her eyes, as well and wanted to do nothing more than take her in his arms. According to her, he was her fiance, so it wouldn’t be like he would be doing something wrong. But he wasn’t certain how Emma felt, and so refrained from doing anything that would make her uncomfortable. “You’ll believe me? Just like that?” she asked, unable to stop herself from smiling widely, tearily.

He reached for her hand with his prosthetic, flipping it over and pressing the ring in her palm, holding his hand over hers. “I don't know if I believe you but I felt something the very first moment I saw you, Emma. Like I recognised you, like I knew you.” He hesitated, finally voicing the thought that had been running through his mind since he met her. “I have been searching for something, some meaning to my life, as if I was missing something and I could not remember what it was. But I saw you, and it felt like I found it, because I found you.”

He slowly reached up, giving her all the time to pull away. But she didn’t - she held his gaze steadily as his fingers traced her cheek. She gasped softly, her lips slightly parted and her eyes falling shut all on their own. “Why didn’t you just tell me then?” he whispered, his eyes moving over her face, trying to read her.

Emma opened her eyes, backing away slightly and pulling his hand to rest in the space between them. She swallowed thickly before she spoke, “I wanted to, but I was afraid that you would think I was crazy. I should have told you then, but I- I was being selfish.” She whispered the last part like a confession, shifting her gaze away from his.

“Selfish?”

“Killian, you were - you are - in danger. That’s why you left in the first place. So, when I saw you again, as much as I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted to protect you too. Just for a little while.”

“Protect me from what, Emma?” he asked, feeling troubled.

“Not what. Who. A witch named Gothel. She has been after you for a while, and the only way to stop her was for you to leave for somewhere she could never find you - The Land without Magic. It’s not easy to find passage to this realm, and she did not have the magic to create one. Until recently.”

“A what?” He scoffed. When he noticed how serious she was, he changed the subject. “Why is she after me? You said I was just a pirate, right? What could I possibly have that she would need?”

She squeezed his hand, looking pained, as if she wanted to do anything but tell him the reason some crazy witch was after him. “You have extremely powerful, extremely ancient magic. And a Dagger that she can use to control you.”

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma meandered through the market, stopping at stalls and exploring them at her leisure. She was not ready to go back to the tower, and she knew that it would take time still for Killian to calm down. It had been almost an hour of her wandering around when a handmade rabbit doll caught her eye. It was discarded to the back of the stall, hidden behind all the other dolls. Emma reached for it, fingering the spot where one of its paws was torn off, leaving a gaping hole at the end with bits of cotton coming out. Of all the dolls there, this one was quite old and worn.

“You wanna buy that?” the shopkeeper, an elderly lady, asked, squinting at Emma.

Her mind made up, Emma nodded. “I know a little girl who would love it. How much for it?”

The woman regarded Emma before waving her hand dismissively. “You can take it, no charge. I hope your little girl likes it,” she said kindly.

“Oh, she’s not-” Emma stopped mid-correction and left the old lady with a couple of coppers and a “Thank you”.

Emma pulled out the list she had made a few days ago, hoping she could find at least a few of the ingredients she was looking for. She had decided to use hydrangeas as a binding agent, along with dragon’s blood to strengthen it. But those were hard to come by so far north, and even harder to manipulate. She would have to know what spell the witch who trapped Alice had used, which was neigh on impossible. For now, she would just have to keep experimenting. She could not use her magic directly on the barrier spell; it took longer than she would have preferred for her magic to return to her and for the burn marks on her hands to disappear. She would have to be more cautious.

She had a few theories for how the spell worked, especially against magic. But theories meant nothing if she did not have the resources to test them. On her walk to the apothecary, she spotted a stall that sold books. She browsed through them, hoping to find one that was on spells using magical herbs and spices, or even witchcraft that did not necessarily involve direct use of magic. Emma had to be careful about the spells that she used, however - her magic was one-of-a-kind. It was light magic, and so far that seemed to be the sufficient for keeping the effects of the witch’s tamper-proof charms at bay. It took a bit of perusing, but Emma finally found a book that might be useful. Well, it was more of a journal than a book, but as she looked over some of the spells that had been written down, she felt more confident.

Unfortunately for her, most of the spells seemed to involve dark magic, something she could not use. But perhaps it might prove important in breaking down the elements the witch used for her spell. From what little she had been able to garner from Killian, the witch seemed to have a penchant for nature magic. Emma was not familiar with that aspect of magic, but there was no time like the present to learn something new. Content with her purchase for the day, and with the amount of time that had passed since she had left, she turned to head back to the tower. She caught herself before she could refer to it as home - home is somewhere one belonged, and Emma wasn’t certain that the tower represented that for her. Not yet, at least.

-/-

Present Day: Land without Magic

Killian paced back and forth, worrying a hole in his rug as he did so. Emma was perturbed by his reaction to what she had revealed. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t anticipated this ; what hurt her even more was how acutely she could feel his agitation and turmoil. She had yet to reveal that piece of information to him, but thankfully whatever connection that he had forged between them seemed to work only one-way. Otherwise he would have told her - she was not exactly a pillar of stability right now. If Killian had the ability to feel her emotions the same way she did with his, it would have been obvious by now, Emma was certain of it.

“Killian, perhaps you should take a seat. Try to calm down,” she suggested, attempting to sound soothing.

He whirled around to face her, his eyes clearly panicked and hair in disarray from the number of times he had tugged at it. “Calm down?” he bit out through clenched teeth, his voice an octave higher than usual. “You just told me I have the world’s most ancient darkness within me, Emma. Do you know how crazy you sound?”

Killian’s harsh words seemed to snap something in Emma, her expression twisting in anger as she stood up as well, her hands clenched at her side. “You don’t get to call me that. You said you believed me. You said you wanted to know.”

“But magic? Darkness? Some witch out for blood? Does that sound sane to you?” he exploded, throwing his hands up in the air.

“You want proof, Killian?” she challenged, her jaw clenched. “I’ll show you proof.” She gripped her ring, drawing the necessary power from it; when she felt like she had enough, she thrust her hand through her own chest.

Killian gasped, his heart in his throat as he watched with wide-eyed horror as she tugged her heart out of her chest. She was not certain what he expected, but she assumed he did not expect a glowing red organ, held almost carelessly. He seemed extremely disturbed to see Emma holding her own heart in her hand.

“Is this proof enough?” she panted, her body swaying slightly.

He blinked at her, unable to form words. There was no doubt in his mind now that magic existed; but for Emma to have gone to such an extent… it pained him. Seeing her in pain made him feel like he was being ripped apart. He cupped his mouth with his hand, his chest constricting painfully. “Yes, yes! I believe you. Put it back, put it back right now,” he demanded, but she could hear the tremble in his voice.

Not that she wanted to. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, having one’s heart outside of the safety of one’s chest. Emma grunted as she thrust her heart back in place. However, it had perhaps not been a good idea to have done that so soon after her surgery. Emma felt the energy drain out of her and she swayed dangerously, feeling dizzy and imbalanced.

Killian was quick to catch her before she could fall, lowering her on the couch. “Why would you do that?” he whispered brokenly, his hands shaking as he gripped her shoulder. “You’re raving mad, woman.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I had to get you to believe me. I cannot bear it if Gothel did anything more to you,” she replied, her voice just as soft.

“Emma…” he began, but trailed off. He seemed conflicted, and why wouldn’t he be? Emma completely disrupted his life here, and probably traumatised him.

Emma could feel the toll her stunt had taken on her. Her chest felt tight, like there was an immense amount of pressure on it. She found it difficult to breath. She grasped her ring, hoping to draw power from it to heal her. But after the abuse she just put herself through, there was barely anything left. She couldn’t use it like she usually did - there was just one other option. Emma gripped Killian’s shirt collar tight, her voice tight as she gasped out, “Killian, you need to take me to a hospital. Right now.”

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

It was well past dusk when Emma finally made her way back to the tower, whistling for Killian to drop the rope ladder for her. She had climbed it the first time with nothing but sheer determination and her father’s broadsword, driven by her intentions to escape being burnt at the stake. But given the option, she would rather use something that was sturdier than steel on rock. Killian was quick to respond to her wordless request, and she swiftly scaled the tower, hoisting herself over the window ledge and landing on her feet without much trouble.

“Emma! You’re back!” Alice exclaimed, running to her. Emma smiled, getting to her knees so she was at an appropriate height to accept the welcome embrace from Alice. Emma squeezed the little girl slightly, holding her for a moment longer than necessary before pulling her back by her shoulders.

“I promised you, didn’t I?” Emma rooted through her satchel, pulling the doll she had bought for Alice. “I got you something. I know he is a little torn and shabby, but we can fix him up, can’t we?” Emma asked, holding it out for Alice to take.

Alice reached for it with an awed smile, but stopped short of taking it, remembering to ask her father first. She looked at him over her shoulder, and so did Emma. She hoped he would see this for the peace offering it was. His face remained impassive for a moment, and Emma almost started apologising, but she noticed the small smile break through as he wordlessly nodded at Alice.

Alice turned to Emma, grinning widely as she took the doll from Emma, cradling it reverently. “Thank you, Emma!” Emma was startled by the force of Alice’s small body crashing into hers, her smaller hands wrapping tightly around Emma’s neck.

Emma smiled, running her fingers through Alice’s hair. “You’re very welcome, Alice Jones,” she whispered, smiling even as Alice went to introduce her new doll to the rest of her collection. Killian held out his hand for her, pretending not to look at her. Emma rolled her eyes, deliberately reaching for his hook instead and pulling herself up.

Killian turned to look when he felt a tug on his hook, just as Emma straightened up from her squat. They were suddenly stood very close together, her breasts almost touching his chest with every breath she took. They were both thrown off by their proximity, but Emma was the first to move back, clearing her throat.

“I- uh, I should probably get something to eat,” she said, walking backward toward the small kitchen, looking everywhere but at Killian.

Killian was still dazed, but quickly shook himself. “Right, yes. Would you like me to fix you-”

“No, no. That’s alright,” Emma protested, cutting him off.

Killian nodded, standing in the middle of the room for a moment longer before he left to see what Alice was up to. And Emma wondered, if perhaps, it had something to do with her, too.

-/-

Killian tried to concentrate on what Alice was talking about while he was playing tea party with her and her animals, but it was hard for his mind not to wander to the other blonde in his life. He observed her from the corner of his eye time after time, but all of her focus was on the book in front of her. He had tried to dismiss how her presence in his and Alice’s lives made him feel, but after their argument earlier, it was hard not to. While he knew what he told her had been true, and he would stand by it, it didn’t mean he was coming around to the idea that perhaps Alice needed more than just him. He wanted his daughter to develop proper social skills, and he tried his best to bring them about; but having Emma in their lives for just a month had been more beneficial to both of them than all their years of solidarity.

There was nothing wrong with being a single parent; but that shouldn’t mean that, given the chance, he should deprive Alice from having a strong female presence in her life. Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do - provide their children with every opportunity for an well-rounded life?

He sighed quietly, running his fingers through his hair. He ought to apologise to her for being harsh that morning; he was quick to become defensive when it concerned Alice. He had the chance to handle it better, but he let his anger take over. He waited until much later, when Alice had been put to bed and tucked in nice and tight. He found her sitting on the window ledge - it seemed to be her favourite spot - holding her hip flask. He had effectively reduced his drinking since Alice, apart from an occasional nip at the end of an especially trying day. But he wouldn’t begrudge Emma her drinking. He trusted her enough not to leave her alcohol just lying somewhere Alice could reach.

Killian cleared his throat, alerting Emma of his presence. When she didn’t immediately react, he thought she hadn’t heard him, but then she offered him her flask in lieu of an invitation. He grabbed it, and slipped next to her on the ledge, their shoulders brushing lightly. He took a small sip, wincing at the burn, and handed the flask back to Emma.

“Killian, I-”

“I’m so-”

They both began at the same time. Killian chuckled, gesturing for Emma to go first.

“I’m sorry for earlier this morning, Killian. I know nothing about being a parent; I sometimes find it hard to remember my own parents,” she huffed humorlessly. “I overstepped. I just - I made myself too comfortable here, with you and Alice. I shouldn’t have. This isn’t my family, and I shouldn’t pretend that it is.”

Killian desperately wanted to reach out to her, to protest. But he wanted to let her say her piece first. And so, he remained quiet, his hand clenched into a fist to stop himself from grabbing her hand.

“I forgot what I am here for. I’m here to help Alice, nothing more. I - um, I will stop interfering, I promise. I just,” she paused, sniffling slightly, looking up at the sky and trying to force her tears away. “Gods, I just felt like I was a part of something.”

Killian couldn’t hold himself back anymore, not when she was so clearly hurting and thinking that she did not belong with him and Alice. He swallowed at the lump in his throat and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. “You stop that, Swan. You belong here, with us,” he whispered against her ear fiercely.

“Killian, you don’t have to say that,” she protested, wiping at her nose and trying to pull away from him. “I know I shouldn’t have said what I did this morning.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But that still does not change the fact that you’re now a part of this,” he whispered against her hair. “You’re doing so much for Alice. You care so much for her. You do not treat her like she’s different. You’re so good, Emma. My daughter needs someone like you around.”

Emma pulled away from his embrace, staring up at him with curious eyes. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying - I’m asking you to stay. Not just for now. But, after. After we get Alice out of here. Join us. We could mean something to you, Alice and I.” He saw her eyes widen in what he hoped was surprise, in a good way. “What do you say, Swan?”

Emma started to say something, but hesitated, her eyes searching his for any sign of uncertainty; he hoped all she could see was how sincere his offer had been. “Killian, I don’t know…”

“Why not, Emma? What’s stopping you?” he asked, silently imploring her to accept his offer.

Emma pressed her lips into a thin line, facing away from him again. “You said it yourself. I’m not her mother. I’m not your - I don’t know where I would fit.”

Killian did not miss her unspoken sentiment about them, but chose to ignore it. Alice needed Emma: it didn’t matter what he wanted with her. It shouldn’t. Now was not the time to talk about that, but there was other, more important information, that she needed to know. “I know you aren’t her mother. But Alice’s mother - she - ah, she-”

“You don’t have to tell me about her. I know she’s not here anymore. I assume it must have been horrible, for Alice to lose her mother,” Emma whispered, closing her hand over his.

Killian’s brows furrowed, extremely confused about Emma’s statement. Did she think Alice’s mother died? he wondered. What she said next only confirmed his suspicion.

Emma pressed her hand over the tattoo over Milah on his wrist, now covered by his shirt sleeve. “Milah, right? She was Alice’s mother?”

Killian did not know if he should laugh or cry. Oh, if only she knew. “No, not Milah. Emma, Alice’s mother is the one who trapped her in this tower. Gothel is Alice’s mother.”

Emma gaped at him, her hand slipping off his wrist. “She did this to her own blood?” Emma whispered brokenly. “She did this to Alice?”

Killian swallowed thickly, preparing himself to tell Emma everything.

-/-

Present Day: Land without Magic

“Well, Miss Swan, it looks like you’ve overexerted your heart. According to the chart that Dr. Riggs had sent over, you’ve very recently had heart surgery. Would you like to tell me what happened?” Dr. Altman asked as she listened to Emma’s heart for any other abnormalities.

“Like you said, I just overexerted myself, pushed myself doing too much, too fast,” Emma replied, smiling tightly at her doctor. “When can I leave?”

Dr. Altman looked taken aback, turning to shoot Killian a glance. Emma felt bad for him: he had no clue what was happening, and Emma could feel his worry for her and his guilt deep in her chest. When Killian did not offer any help, Dr. Altman shook her head. “Emma, you’ve had a very serious cardiac event. I would like to run some tests-”

“No,” Emma protested stubbornly. “Give me medication, or some home remedies. I am not spending any more time here than I already have.”

“Emma, that is not advisable,” Dr. Altman replied. “You need to be given the proper interventions.”

“That is not necessary. I would like to be discharged, please,” Emma said, ignoring the swell of confusion and anger she felt from Killian.

Dr. Altman stared at her incredulously, as if that would deter Emma. “I don’t think you understand how dire your situation is.”

Emma let out a long, deep breath, getting tired of the same health spiel from the doctors in this realm. “Dr. Altman, I felt a tightness in my chest for a few minutes, nothing more. But it passed and I feel fine now. I hope you can respect my wishes and discharge me.”

Dr. Altman looked like she wanted to argue further, but wisely decided against it. “Alright, but only if you agree to be discharged under the care of this young man here,” she told Emma, pointing to Killian.

He stood up straighter when he realised that the doctor was talking about him. He approached Emma’s bed, reaching for her hand. She could feel him relax slightly when she squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I don’t tell you that you are leaving here against my medical advice. It is not safe for you to leave, at least until I get your test results back, Emma.”

Emma groaned, knowing at this point that she had no choice but to listen to Dr. Altman. It would be better to know that everything was fine, then to fall in the middle of a battle. Emma would require all her strength to defeat Gothel. “Fine. Alright. I’ll stay until the results come back. You have one day, Dr. Altman.”

-/-

Emma reclined in her hospital bed, trying to get as comfortable as she could get in a scratchy hospital gown. Killian had gone to talk to her doctor and promised to return in a while. That was a good thing, because it gave her time to think.

She knew what the next step was: she had to get him to Merlin so that they could get rid of the Darkness once and for all. She had just one magic bean. If Alice were here, she would have made the same choice. All those years that the two women had struggled through, to try and find Merlin, and to free him - it would all be for naught if Gothel got her hands on the Dark One’s dagger. Emma had to make a tough decision, if only for Killian’s sake.

Killian walked through the door just then, with two cups of something wiggling and colourful and two spoons. He placed one of each on her tray and sat down next to her hip. “Hey, I spoke with Dr. Altman. She said she has put a rush on your test results. Now, you just have to sit tight. Have some jello,” he said, pointing his spoon at the goo in front of her. Emma made a face, her nose scrunching up in distaste.

“What in the seven hells is that?” she demanded, poking at it with her own spoon. “Jello?” she asked, imitating what he had said. But the word just felt strange in her mouth.

Killian chuckled at her confusion, but his expression quickly turned somber. “I can’t believe you’re in the hospital because of me, Emma. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Hey. Look at me,” she demanded, her hand cupping his chin. “You didn’t do this to me. I did. I was being reckless, and I paid the price. This is not your fault, alright?”

Killian sighed deeply, shaking his head at her. Whether in agreement or disagreement, she couldn’t tell. “So, my dreams...they were all real?”

Emma licked her lips, anticipating his next question and contemplating how she could possibly answer that. “Um, yes. At least the ones that you’ve told me about.”

“Ah.” He seemed to be debating with himself, before he finally asked her the inevitable. “In my other life, my real life, I guess,” he huffed out. “Do I - Do I have a daughter? Is her name Alice?”

Emma’s heart was in her throat and she felt sick to her stomach. How could I possibly do what I need to? she thought to herself. But she had to.

“Uh, no. No, you didn’t have a daughter. You don’t have any children.”

[yarnbats]

Okay..

I’m sure someone has already gone on a rant about this but I just want to say something to get it off my chest.

If you are going to write a story where a character has a body mod, or gets a body mod, please do just a little bit of research beforehand on things like healing times, care instructions, pain levels, and common problems with the piercing. Basically...if you have a character getting a tattoo or a piercing you should research it like YOU are the one going to get the mod done. 

Do you know how painful it is to sit and read about a person who got their nose pierced and then tries to change the jewelry like a week later? As someone who has a nose piercing, this is HORRIFYING. 

Most of the time though the biggest issue comes up with piercings when writers are trying to use them be more erotic. Things like tongue piercings and nipple piercings come up a lot and I have some notes:

1. If a character just got their nipples pierced that day they are SORE. Yeah, they may be feeling on top of the world because nipple piercings are great and can be a HUGE confidence booster, but lemme just tell you...ain’t nobody tweaking their fun bags for a LONG time. Six weeks MINIMUM and that’s if the healing goes WELL. It can take a YEAR for these types of piercings to settle in fully. I’m not saying it’s gonna be a year before the character can get freaky with their new jewelry but I am saying that if someone had tried to stimulate my nipples the day I got them pierced they would have been very disappointed when I punched them in the face.

2. Most people are not going without a bra after getting their nipples done. Wearing a bra is usually way more comfortable and reduces the risk of hitting the piercings against walls/furniture/other people and creating a huge disaster. 

3. It’s SO UNSANITARY TO PLAY WITH FRESH PIERCINGS. The #1 worry I have with fresh body mods is infection. How do things get infected? Well...touching them, not cleaning them, contact with bodily fluids from intercourse. DO NOT play with healing piercings. 

4. I don’t know AS much about tongue piercings (I will admit this) but I do know that playing with it and using it as stimulus for getting freaky is bad before it is healed.  

5. Tongue piercings shouldn’t cause a huge change in speech. You shouldn’t have a speech impediment after getting a tongue piercing. Yes it will be swollen, no it shouldn’t impact the way you are writing your character’s words. Unless something is horribly wrong with the piercing, this should not be an issue. 

6. Tattoos are the same way. DO NOT TOUCH FRESH TATTOOS. It is so so important to keep body mods clean and rubbing up on healing tattoos can cause infection but can also damage the tattoo if it’s at the point where it’s starting to flake. 

6. Yes there are people who don’t have us much pain with piercings/tattoos and may feel “fine” after getting it done, but the bottom line is that playing with healing piercings and tattoos is a huge gamble and is very detrimental to the healing time and health of the mod, and the individual. 

I know this may seem like a lot to bitch about but it’s a VERY EASY THING TO FIX. This also goes for any part of your writing. You never know what is going to pull someone out of the universe of your world and there’s nothing less sexy than infected nipples/tongues/bellybuttons and rubbing up on fresh tattoos. 

Thank you to all you writers out there who continue to create and make all of our lives better through your work. Best of luck on future endeavors and keep writing people with body mods. 

[w1tchy13itch-blog]

For your scholars! 64 through 71 and 74 through 80 please! I'm interested in learning more about your ocs! - Toad Mod

Yo! hehehehe I like this batch of questions too XD 

I’ll answer the first half now, and the other half later after classes get out for me!

Lemme see what I can manage: 

64: Where were your scholar’s parent(s) or guardian(s) born?

Lillie: Lillie’s dad was born in Yamagata prefecture in Japan, and her mother is a second generation Japanese American from central California. 

Vivian&Darcy: Their biological parents (out of the three) were both born then the UK, and their parent’s partner was born in Melbourne, Australia. 

Flora: Her mother is British and her bio-father (divorced and deceased) was Irish. Her stepmother is of Indian descent but was born and raised in Whales. 

Abigail: Her biological parents were born in Mexico and Texas, but lived in northern Mexico. Her foster parents were born in New York but her foster mother is half Korean and her foster father is Jamaican American. (They moved to Texas, and then Arizona for the warmer climate and a desire to live in a quieter, more natural environment)

65: Is there anything about your scholar’s past that they don’t want anyone to know? 

Lillie: Her deadname, basically.

Vivian&Darcy: Vivian hasn’t got any, but Darcy, like Lillie, would rather not have his deadname spread around. He’s far more comfortable in his new body though, than Lillie, but no matter how much you physically feel good, it sucks to have people disregard you and undermine you.

Flora: for the sake of Angus’s privacy and her own, she prefers no one knows she has a child. When she meets, by chance, Angus’s biological father a few years after she’d been attending Arlington and finds out he’s transferred to the same school via a scholarship, she is apprehensive about telling him, but manages to work out an agreement with him to share custody so long as he keeps quiet about the situation. 

Abigail: If she could have her way, she wouldn’t let you know what she ate for breakfast. Mainly, she doesn’t want people to know her personal life, she wants them to appreciate her for the character she is on stage and her presence in the spotlight, but wishes for her past with her family and current relationship with Flora to be untouched and protected as much as possible. 

66: Has your scholar ever kissed anyone?

Lillie: Nope, purely clean lips here. Familial kisses don’t count, and she’s never really been desired or sought by anyone before that was of the gender she prefers so it’s kind of rough on her. Hopefully Arlington will change that, because there’s a pair of lips named Tadashi Nakano that she is dying to taste.

Vivian: She had a girlfriend who is now just a close friend. (her friend got into the T.V. acting business and is currently the star of a teen mystery drama on a British kids show channel) 

Darcy: He kissed a girl for a dare once, and had a boyfriend for 4 days that ended up being one of those “I thought I liked you but i guess i kind of didn’t, and this is awkward now” kind of people. 

Bonus: Flora kissed her kid’s dad quite a lot that one specific time, and she and Abigail kiss around 8 times a day on average. 

67: What is your scholar’s favorite holiday? 

Lillie: Lillie likes Halloween the best. There weren’t many holidays her family celebrated, and Halloween was one of the few they did. She uses it as an excuse to cosplay because she can’t afford to go to real conventions. 

Vivian&Darcy: They both love Valentines day and go all out romantic for their significant others or crushes. 

Flora: Her and Angus’s birthday. Her parents travelled the world with her so she knows of too many holidays to count, let alone choose one. And so, she figures that her day of birth and her son’s are probably the best ones there are because they’re special days that only the two of them can fully appreciate

Abigail: Halloween and Christmas both. This chick is like ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ in human form. 

68: What do they enjoy dressing up as on Halloween?  If they don’t dress up or go trick-or-treating, then what do they do instead?

Lillie: She uses Halloween as an excuse to cosplay and has a roster of anime characters that she’d like to cosplay next. She chooses a character from a different anime each year. Recently she went as Rock Lee, and her older sister went as (a very unfit) Might Guy from Naruto.

Vivian&Darcy: ever since being born they’ve gone for halloween in things that come in pairs, from salt and pepper shakers at 2 years old to Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett this year (their plan for this year is to run a meat pie, and other baked goods, cafe from within their parents home.) 

When not dressing up which is rare, they have been hired to host children’s parties in their local neighbourhood (also part of why they hold a themed cafe or barbeque each year). 

Flora: She seldom had time for Halloween as a kid seeing as she was constantly travelling but her favourite country’s practice of Halloween is Britain because of how extravagant they can get, and now that she’s dating Abby she’s learning about the history and significance of ‘The Day of the Dead’. She usually just ends up dressing like a witch with the same costume each year but accessorised differently.

Abigail: La Dia de los Muertos, which isn’t really ‘Halloween’ as most western countries view it, was always her favourite time of the year. In an otherwise rather lacking childhood, most of her good memories came from the festival. Her foster parents upon adopting her researched and studied how to help her keep in touch with her cultural history and tradition, and helped her set up a shrine in their own house so she could still celebrate her Abuela and her older brother who died when she was 6. 

69: It’s your crush’s birthday!  What does your scholar get/do for them? 

Lillie: Aside from generally stressing and not knowing what to do, she probably cooks him something and offers it to him with shaking hands, most likely looking away. Tadashi, being who he is, makes a joke to ask if it’s poisoned which earns him an irritated glare. Then he nearly cries at how good it tastes. 

Vivian: She takes you out on a date. Where do you want to eat? What do you want to wear? You wanna see a movie? Late night walk in the park? You got it. She’s on it. Already bought tickets a week ago. Reserved a private table in a restaurant. Gets her parent’s driver to take you places. 

Darcy: he’s similar to Vivian, but he does things more personalised like. He sneakily susses out what you want and like all year beforehand and does stuff like make a ghost profile on amazon or pintrest to see what things are in your wishlist etc. He’d probably also make a mixtape of songs that you and him like, or that are important to you (hard to do in his case, since he’s trying to woo Axel though). Also, he’s DTF (Down to fuck FUN!). Just saying. 

Flora: Birthdays are BIG deals for her, so she, like Darcy, finds out things you like and want. She is more direct about it though and asks you to your face what you want, or what you would like. She also is good at cake decoration and likes making personalised designs for them. She can also sing ‘happy birthday’ in 4 languages, and on occasion has been able to get ahold of foreign gifts from places she’s visited overseas before. 

Abigail: For the very first birthday she spends with you, She puts on a whole personalised performance for you! (non sexually, of course, this is the kind where your parents and kids can be invited too). She gets caterers to help with food, and she buys out a venue of whatever size she needs and you and your whole family and as many friends as you can fit are invited. 

For later on in your relationship this only happens again during milestones like 5 years anniversary or something (it’s not a secret, I’m keeping her and Flora together forever). On off years, she just cuddles with you and spoils you with shopping sprees and they buy huge donut boxes or chocolate sample boxes and watch trashy/cheesy foreign romances. 

70: How would your scholar react to seeing their crush crying? 

Lillie: If somehow, by some, horrific, ungodly force, you managed to make Tadashi of all people cry, She would probably gently ask him if she can help at all. she knows he’s a little bristly, and doesn’t always appreciate her over-empathy, but she loves him a lot and wants to help him. 

She gives him the option to turn her away if he needs time alone but wants him to know that she is available whenever he is ready to talk. If he is, by chance, ready, she sits by him and holds him closely, either listening to him talk, or listening to him cry. Kisses and head scratches are also inevitable. 

Vivian: She is the person who runs up to you and holds you, asking you what’s wrong. I’m apprehensive to go further because I don’t know much about her crushes yet (Claire and Alistair) so i’ll have to wait and see. I feel like Vivi would probably react slightly differently depending on how her crush displays grief, but on a base level, she’s a hugger and sweet-talker to get you to calm down.

Darcy: It’s time to FIGHT. Who does he need to knock the fuck out? The first few times, his crush (Axel) is probably too busy holding him back to be crying anymore. After a few more times, Darcy is still raving mad, but he keep it in long enough to responsibly evaluate the situation. Still probably ready for low-key revenge, but he’s not as trigger happy with his fists anymore. 

Flora: She calmly asks her to walk her through what happened. A future lawyer at heart, she can and will do whatever she can to make sure Abby is done right by via compensation or proper and called for retribution. However, she is fully aware of the fact that sometimes Abigail gets into trouble in the first place because of her own faults. Abby isn’t very good at making friends, but good at making enemies. Definitely not an innocent little angel. Her girlfriend is basically her #1 test client, because of how she is, socially and how much legal drama the celebrity life brings on top of that.

Abby: Abby isn’t good with emotions. She’s not even good with her own, let alone knowing how to help Flora when she’s down. It’s usually the other way around. When Flora is upset, which is very very rare, Abigail tends to leave her alone or to sit quietly by her, super anxious and not knowing what to do at all. Flora doesn’t resent this, because she knows Abby’s limitations and inabilities. She tends to prefer to cry it out until she’s done crying anyway, and typically feels better afterwards. 

71: How would your scholar react to seeing their enemy crying?

Lillie: She laughs. Quietly, of course, and to herself, but she’s typically satisfied if things aren’t going well for an enemy. Of course, unless the situation is extreme or a special case. But there is one specific enemy in mind (an OC) whom she’d happily drop kick into the sun if she could, so seeing her cry would be fine by her. 

Vivian: She ignores them and moves on. She doesn’t care enough to tempt them when they’re in a good mood, and she certainly doesn’t want to offer her kindness to someone who will probably use it against her later. 

Darcy: Same as his sister, but he also probably then asks what happened, usually out of general curiosity. 

Flora: She has very few enemies, and being a future lawyer, she is training herself to have less of a bias when it comes to justice (the exception is if you mess with Abigail). She’ll ask if she can help in anyway, or at the very least she’ll ask what’s wrong. Also, she has a deep maternal instinct in the first place, and wants to help out as many as she can manage.

Abby: Abby ignores them like the twins do, not only because of how bad she is around crying, but she might have been the reason some people have cried. 

She has gotten into fist fights with people before for her general inability to chill out, and especially if it’s a person she dislikes. She was almost expelled once for grabbing Karolina by the tie and ripping her shirt collar, and has given Axel a wedgie on more than one occasion. Naturally she and Darcy hate each other because Darcy tends to get too protective over Axel. It’s a big, ugly, sad mess. 

I’ll continue the other questions in a second post!