#2 -THEY WERE IN LOVE THERE THO ITS WILD

[grahamcarmen]

[red-elric]

davepeta...... the thing u gotta consider about them is the fact that homestuck is really explicitly a Narrative. like, sure, it sucks that davesprite couldnt have a satisfying story as his own person, but thats BECAUSE he was structurally a Less Important Dave in the storyline, and he knew that, and it made him really depressed. I love davesprite, but he was always always always going to be held in comparison to dave, and dave was always always always going to be the one more important to the living players, and the one getting real character development. there was no way forward for davesprite alone! which sucked

wrt nepeta..... she had been dead a long time. she was a ghost, she was pretty happy hanging out w her version of equius in the afterlife, and it was really awkward and shoehorned in to have her brought back as a sprite just to make jasprose happy. but u know what? her version of equius became arquius. and the x2 combo of a meowrails and strider bros reunion in arquius and davepeta makes me gd cry

the thing about merging into davepeta for davesprite especially is that it made them a distinct, relevant character again. something seperate from dave, something that could narratively have their own development and relationships. its similar to how rosesprite became much happier as jasprose; she didnt have to bow down as the alpha rose anymore, because she was something different now. neither of them felt relegated to the sidelines the way the sprites prototyped w only one person often do.

also like?? nonbinary icon made from the two coolest characters in the series??? sprite squared cat versions of the best siblings in the series???? kisses for jade?????? davepeta going to fight fuckin lord english??????? what an absolute gem. claw claw meowtherfuckers for real only issue is we didnt get more of them

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[catcrazies-midnight]

gabbo

[todayisafridaynight]

LIKEWISE I hope you enjoy the upcoming releases too and that the price tag on Gaiden's worth it! I know personally I'll enjoy them regardless lol, the worldwide releases have been Particularly Rough on localization but these have still been some of my favorite games. Sorry in advance for I will be the one saying unnecessary things (as I often am) though </3

Speaking of, I'm glad you're enjoying Kyouen!! Once Again I wish I didn't have Goldfish Memory so I could actually discuss but :) always look forward to your reviews :)

i wouldnt ever say anythin you say is unnecessary when you always have a lot of insight and purpose to what you say ♪(´▽｀)

AND YAYA im really enjoyin kyouen ! you were absolutely right in everyone being petty as hell LMAO im living for it tho (￣y▽￣)

[skitskatdacat63]

I'm finishing up the Belgian gp(2005) rn and I was gonna put this commentary in the tags of my post-race highlights post, but it would be like, a giant paragraph, so I'll just put my commentary in these tags lol bcs I need to ramble abt this cause it's actually insane to me

[lilyvines]

yes my favorite character is roy but i also really super duper adore olivier. I also cry everytime at the last episode when Ed decides what to do and stuff and lose his alchemy like that scene when he gets to his door and the conversation is my favorite thing ever in the world. I also ccryevery time over when Ed thought Roy had killed Ross and stuff and like you sort of believe it to be true but she lived and aughghghahhghg wailing. sorry this is nonsense

ITS MY KIND OF NONSENSE

my favorite characters are ed and al easyyyy theyre my boys!!! i also love mei i hold her very near and dear to my heart

for me saddest moments in fmab are def that one with maria and that scene with ed and winry where she goes to shoot scar and also the nina one and the death scenes (especially hughes) but also everytime i think about hohenheim and his relationship with his children especially im just. tears in my eyes. on the floor. bawling like i did not like him for a while i thought he was an ass bc i am an edward elric apologist but when we learned more about him i just.

[bainutwater85]

can i get nsfw headcanons about any naruto characters? your choice !!

characters: gaara, kiba, kakashi, shikamaru

cw: cum, anal, vibrators, dick sizes, fem reader with fem parts

a/n: hope u enjoy! also i’m writing for them during the time naruto and hinata got married (?) i know they were like 19-23 or 24

GAARA !

when you two are alone: he likes when you lay on him n he rubs your back inching his way down to you ass, rubbing it and kneading it in his hands.

twerk on this man, give him a lap dance i swear to god he won’t be disappointed by anything you shake. his eyes will be wide and he’ll have the biggest smile on his face, if y’all are drunk and doing this then you’ll definitely be fucking wherever you are at. Most likely will come in his pants..

his balls are tight and full, not big but average size for his age. Loves when you just lay next to him and invade his space then slipping a hand in his pants to massage his balls; especially when he’s cramping there to.

he’s not much of a sex guy but definitely prefers dry humping over the real dick in the ass thing, if yknow what i mean. you 2 just get the grind on..slow and sensual. & by dry humping— he’s not humping you like a wild animal, just dragging his boner across your leg/thigh. You do the same..just without ur panties (^_^)

Don’t get me wrong..he’ll have sex and release his load in you or on you a few times— he just has a..in between sex drive (?) basically: sex isn’t always on his mind unless you propose to it and if he’s having a rough day (which is almost everyday & barely resorts to sex to get relaxed) anywayss. With that being said i really feel like he likes to take sex slow so your foreplay will last about 15-20 mins and another 20 while he’s kissing every crack and creavice of your body.

⤴︎ i also feel like he’s big into role play. Like yes, i’ll be the princess and you’ll be the evil big bad wizard that needs my love and touch. Or yes you can be the UPS guy and i can be the mom of 2 college and highschool kids during the summer waiting for my dildo to arrive because me and my husband divorced a few months ago

he don’t lick pussy he SUCKS pussy. he don’t give you fast kitten licks he will head straight for the clit and suck on it like a pacifier and rub it when he’s done.

his cum has an easy flow and isn’t too thick but he spurts out a lot. Also average size with an average girth, 6.4 inches at best🙌🏾

KIBA !

biggg ash, GIRTH && LENGTH WISE. i’d say 6.6 at least. n he lovesss it when you whine and tell him it don’t or won’t fit & try to push him back a bit by his abdomen or run. just for him to grab you by the hips/waist and start pounding into you

unlike gaara he will dive in and lick your pussy clean. sorry not sorry, he has no pussy eating technique and does what he saw a man do on a porno he seen when he 12 years old. yeahhhp

why fuck one hole when you can fuck 3? we all say in usion. He’s an anal god & prefers the butthole than the vagina or mouth.

speaking of mouth..he likes a little teeth on his cock, not a lot tho😗 cause it “tickles” he says.

Guys..he does not have breeder balls..i’m sorry :(. They aren’t small they just aren’t as big but they don’t sag either..they’re TIGHT. tight like if he was to go soft rn his ball sacks would be a futon for his penis

also has bad ball cramps and whines so much when you can’t or won’t help him with it. But “its fine” he says, just don’t beg for any dick post- shark week 😒. && to top it all off he is a MASTER MASTURBATER. when he got with you he stopped watching porn and used his imagination with you being the the source of material.

sleeps bare butt ass naked with his balls all out jus free ballin like we’re in the paleoithic age💀

ass eater ass eaterr. he don’t care if you ain’t shower this morning he wants to go in and down. He’s a free and wild man when it comes to sex, LITERALLY.

whines the most and hates to admit it but he just can’t help how tight you are. Like you wrap around him just right and it makes him come on the spot sometimes

they don’t mind a bush or fuzzy peach. But kiba is the one to cry when you shave or get a wax down there 😗 the others don’t mind if it’s hairy, a little hair never hurt them and plus “we grown” kakashi, kiba and SHIKAMARU say in harmony 😭

+ all of the character listed above

KAKASHI !

always and i mean alwaysss has to have a hand on your ass and tits. it’s not even in a horny or sexual way— he just wants to squeeze and feel the squish of your body. Unknowingly massages them to and you don’t even point it out, then he’s moving his hand looking down at your nipple like “why is it hard?” man you just gave top tier massage that could clear migraines and cramps.

his dick is big and he knows ittt. Sitting on his lap is enough for his dick to go in ‘up mode’ he will nottt back down or let YOU back down when you tease him and try to leave him by hiself with a hardon, no ma’am..you’re gonna finish what you started.

never fully gets naked when you two are having sex. his shirt is off, pants down and his dick coming out the deisgined hole of his boxers. Your bra over your tits and panties pulled to the side.

he lives in the country and rural era of konoha so yes you suck his dick and he eats you out on his back patio, what about it?

doesn’t want you having any dildos, he doesnt know why it makes him so upset you need a FAKE cock to make you cum when you have him. The only sex toys he’ll allow is a vibrator and butt plug. Speaking of vibrators, he so fascinated by the way your plump pussy lips move when you use it😫

preps you all the time, you two could’ve been fucking since the day you got together, he’s still gonna prep you either way cause mans is BIG. he’s more of a shower than grower tho 😗

6.7in when soft and 7inch hard. His girth isn’t wide..it’s more on the skinny side but he reaches places better with the size and length. Once you cried so hard and almost reached your breaking point when his thrust kept getting deeper and slower cause he was hitting the entrance to your cervix and lord was it painful yet pleasing at once.

his balls are average but they sag, not low but they got some weight to em on the inside 😭

SHIKAMARU !

wants to makes movies with you and has made movies with you. But it’s premium tho so only you and him only see it.

always and i mean alwayssss has a hand in your panties or on your thigh. You two would be chillin in the living room, the floor or in the bed (most of the times the bed) and he’ll just sneak his through and just rub your clit. he doesn’t finger you just rubs you slowly, occupied with his phone and your pussy while he’s just strolling through social media and getting you off all at once.

fav position is most likely doggystyle. Why? because if you both are getting your freak on and wanting to watch something..you can do both.

lazy sex..need i say more? he’s got you laying on top of him with his dick barely all the way inside you and giving half ass thrusts while you both are half away and naked at the crack of morning

hates pulling out, says it ruins the good feeling when you’re about to cum. Naw sweetie he just wants to be a dad of a cheerleading team. He might wanna be one and done or 2 kids but the way he cums inside of you..😗 it says otherwise. he doesn’t even pull out till you guys wake up, and if he did so you can go pee and get it out your system— he’s gonna ease way back in and go to bed like that 😭

another sagger and shower but not a grower. He’s average, length and girth. 6.6 hard and 6.6 soft. It’s just limpy yknow?.

also sleeps naked well semi-naked. but you? oh he makes you strip down to your socks and earrings. he wants you skinned down to the toess. He only sleeps in a bare of boxers and time out time he uses rhat as his advantage. won’t even take them off to pull his dick out. he either slips it through the hole of his pants or over the hem of the boxers. Somtimes doesn’t even take it out himself and gets you to do it by grinding it agaisnt you or pulling you closer to it.

cums a lot and cums whenever and wherever tbh. on your face in your mouth, wipes it off for you tho. One thing he lovessss to do is slap his tip on your lips or cheeks he just loves slapping his cock all over your face anyways

[hballegro]

So Alright, Cool, Whatever

its not like i've got something grand to say to you

'So Alright, Cool, Whatever' by the Happy Fits [from Concentrate]

first time makin one of these so. could be shitty. created because spotify recommended i add this song to my BJ playlist and i went 'ur so right bestie' and here we are. the most polished section is from the shoulder nuzzling to 'same size same shape'. if u couldnt tell. rip. i had like 80% of that section done from the start lol

HERES MY CITATIONS READ EM AND WEEP cause i did; there arent timestamps because im incredibly tired. some of the scenes should be 'hallmarks' though to help u find ur way around. it SHOULD all be in order tho.

The smell of music

Lil

GFA

Where theres a will theres a war

GFA

Novocain mutiny

Joker is wild

Aint love grand

Hepatitis

Morale victory

Welcome to korea 1

Welcome to korea 2

Deluge

Preventative Medicine

War for all seasons

Mail call 3

The Kids

Aint love grand 

Trick or treatment

Private Finance

Private Finance [same scene]

Hawk’s nightmare

Soldier of the month

Morale victory

War for all season

Preventative Medicine

Lil

The Winchester Tapes

Tea and empathy

Are You Now, Margaret

Preventative Medicine 

Mr n Mrs Who

Yalu brick

None Like it Hot

The Tooth Shall Set You Free

Hepatitis

None Like it Hot

Bj papa san

Yessir baby

The Most Unforgettable Characters

Oh how we danced

Oh how we danced

Aint love grand

Period of adjustment

Mail call 3

War Co-Respondent

Life time

The Life You Save

No sweat

Preventative Medicine

Flagg

Depressing news

Father’s Day

War Co-Respondent

Mr n Mrs Who

War for all seasons

Soldier of the month

Peace on us

No Laughing Matter

No Laughing Matter

Mr n Mrs Who

Rumor at the Top

Patent 4077

Letters

Morale Victory

Mr n Mrs Who

The Bilford Syndrome

Morale victory again 

GFA

Tell it to the marines

Tell it to the marines

Morale victory

Soldier of the month

Birthday girls

War Co-Respondent 

Soldier of the month YET AGAIN

GFA

GFA

shoutout hawkeye for not once but twice looking at bj's lips on beat without me trying to make him do that

also i kept going 'wow i kept using these episodes a lot of times' i am lucky i managed to contain myself and only do the hugs from Aint Love Grand ONCE. there were FOUR HUGS there. and i picked ONE. thats restraint.

[kiame-sama]

Dragon headvanon guy here again because a few more dropped into my head (also sorry for the typos, I'm not used to my phones big keyboard yet xD also 100% relate to you on the plushies, I have a big collection on my.own and love them with all my heart)

1. Most if not all Creatures love to be pet, it's common to see children & sometimes young teens being pet by their parents, older siblings or close friends. The older they fet the less likely they get petted tho, older Fae's and long lived Creatures tho remember that Humans would pet anyone who allowed it with great joy.

2. We know that Humans are seen as Peackeepers (or Beast Tamers) but I like to headcanon that they are also a symbol of Loyalty in many Kingdoms. Some older Creatures, like Lilia even remember Humans going through great dangers or sacrificing themself for their Pack.

An old Rumor has it that one of the Great Seven was actually once pack bounded with a human who sacrificed themself for them. (It would be an intresting idea if it was Scar and after he died many mistook the Human Sacrificing themself for him as him killing them & eating them. But you guys can go wild with this one)

3. Angry humans were a raresight to see and most only learned how dangerous humans could be once a Creature attacked a child and had to be send to a hospital after the Parent of said child got their revenge. It's also at that point that many learned how dangerous a human bite can be thanks to the bacteria in their mouth (that information sadly got lost to time though)

4. This is the last one for now, promise xD A lot of Kingdoms who were safe for humans, would have human daycares where they would watch over the Creatures kids. It was something unheard of since a lot of Creatures dont trust their young and rather weak children around others they dont know (and sometimes even close friends & family couldn't get close to the child without nearly being mauled.)

But it was a bit sucess and since it was free, low income familys would adly send their kids there to get food and have a chance at making friends. Some daycares even allowed sleepovers for Creatures who worked during the night, kids who were night active or those who weren't picked up because their parents worked late.

Sadly after humans went extinct these establishments were shutdown.

Ok one last one, this one is for the Fleur City; It's belived that humans created the Bell as a gift to the Rightous Judge who them upon getting this gift enchanted the Bell to ring in a specific tune when a human entred Fleur City.

Legends say that once the last human in Fleur City died and they went extinct as last that the Bell rung in such a sorrowfull way with the Rightous Judges cries that the spirit of the last Human in Fleur Ciry granted him a last gift. The Firelotus, so that any Magical Creature who dares to harm an Innocent Creature will be punished by humanitys judgment.

(No worries about the typos, I'm pretty bad about it too)

I'm down for all of these actually. Absolutely love how some canon things can so easily fall into place with just a little adjustment and work so wonderfully in an AU all its own.

I can see almost all of them wanting to be pet and of course hoping the soft human will pet them. Rook's already been pet by those little Human hands and he is already hooked. I could absolutely see Jack and Ruggie going nuts for petting. Lilia's already made it clear that group grooming is common so petting would likely be too. Maybe that's the Human's way of returning the grooming behavior to make Lilia sleep? Lilia has already petted Grim.

The last Human Lilia met was the surrogate mother of a young fox fae child and he will be forever haunted by how injured she was and still standing, unsure how long she must have fought to keep her young safe. Lilia had arrived near the end of the poor Human's desperate battle, stepping in himself but it was quite too late for the Human mother. He took in the child and raised them himself in Briar Valley, Silver is not the only child the old fae has taken under his wing. Lilia knows the sheer drive humans have to protect those they truly love because he saw it firsthand and he knows better than to mess with little Grim regardless of how much fun it would be. No need to upset the Human.

Humans were quite good at taking care of others young and many had a natural proclivity to protect infants regardless of what species it was. Humans aren't really all too threatening, so many mothers of the more protective species didn't feel that threat to themselves or their young like they did with other species or even their own family. Many are quite manageable as children and almost harmless, meaning the soft Humans could take care of them with no problem.

To make a world of magical creatures tremble in fear is a mighty feat and one only the fire lotus could achieve. After all, so many looked down on humans for their lack of magic, why not suffer the same fate for those who brought Humanity to heel?

[scatterbrainedbot]

Hello :D

You're so cool

Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?

You're very cool :D love your stuff dude

(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))

hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!

so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.

Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)

For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.

of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?

for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.

so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3

still,

that fear

never

really

goes

away.....

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[rainelikerain]

—LONGLEGS

-Timothée Chalamet x Reader

In which the reader and Timothée bump into each other in Central Park and the press goes wild

A/N - hey guys!! This is my first kinda fic in a while so please hold tight it’s been a couple years cuties!! Enjoy!! Part 2 maybe??

-liked by Tchalamet, yourmumsname, florencepugh and 1,257,901 others

Y/n : Thank you all who worked on LONGLEGS and made my dream possible! Cant believe Its all over. Now, GO WATCH LONGLEGS, IN CINEMAS NOW!!!! 🥳👏🍾

-20,836 comments

User: MOTHER HAS POSTED!!!

User: anyone notice who liked?!

User: movie was so good 10/10

Florencepugh: GO QUEEN OMG

Oliviarodrigo: slay girl you were amazing as always!!

|___ liked by y/n

User: shes so hot

User: i didnt even know she was in the movie

-tchalamet posted a story

User tweeted : GIRLS AND GAYS WALK DON’T RUN TO NYC COS TIMMY IS OUT AND ABOUT YALL I REPEAT HES OUT AND ABOUT!!!

|___ User: YALL HES IN CENTRAL PARK HE WAS SPOTTER

User: why you all being so excited he is human ya know 💀💀

-Y/n posted a story

caption: YALL- look who I met today in central park 🤭

User tweeted: NO WAY MOTHER AND FATHER AND PARENTING

|___ user: what are you on abt

User: GO ON Y/NS INSTA

User: HOLY SHIT YALL

User: i literally love them both

-liked by dailymail, tchallover, and 3,572,629 others.

Vogue: news just in! Actress Y/N L/N was seen today in central new york city with Actor Timothée Chalamet. They were seen leaving a coffee shop after Y/N L/N posted an Instagram story bumping into him in Central Park. Click the link in our bio to read more.

-602,845 comments

User: they hung out after?! Im dazed tf!?!?

User: all the simps are crying rn

User: will we see more of them?!? Oml

Y/n: man paps need to chill 😐

|___ user: fr bae they doing you wrong

User: y/n marry me

-liked by tchalamet, longlegsmovie, and 2,072,618 others.

Y/n: LONGLEGS release party and it was an absolute dream!! Thank you to all my gorgeous friends who attended and thank YOU again @longlegsmovie I LOVE YOU ALL BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

-489,725 comments

User: NOFRICKINGWAYTIMMYISTHAYYOU

|___ Liked by Y/n

Tchalamet: shots, shots sh-sh-sh-shots!!

|___ Y/n: EVERYBODAYYY

User: stop why they actually the cutest

User: ew she wants the fame so bad

-liked by y/n, keoghan92, longlegsmovie, and 4,510,629 others

Tchalamet: release, bump, coffee, drink.

-1,583,003 comments

User: yoo he was at the longlegs party

Keoghan92: my brother 💯🤘🏼

|___ Tchalamet: for life 🍾💯

Y/n: vodka redbull?

|___Tchalamet: vodka coke??

User: i want my husband to come to my partys

|___ User: they arent together tho

User: manifesting it tho

Zendaya: best party with the best people!!

|___Y/n: HELL YEA MY Z !!!

-Y/n posted a story

-seen by 6,271

-Y/n deleted a story

User tweeted: erm guys did anyone see y/n’s story?!?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

CB FANFIC

First fanfic ever short tho 😔👊

UNO

(They are playing stacking numbers and draw until you get the right card or number. This takes place after Buddy meets Chase in irl. Order Prunella, Chase, Buddy, Deacon)

“UNO!!!” Prunella yelled out

“HEY YOUR CHEATING!!!” Chase called out

“What how??!!!” Prunella replied

“YOU WON 2 ROUNDS ALREADY!!! IF 3 GROWN ADULTS LOOSE AGAINST A KID 3 TIMES IT MEANS THE CHILD IS CHEATING”

“THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!”

“Uh- Yuh huh it makes sense like- what’s the property-“

“-Its probability” Deacon chimed in

“Yeah, yeah shut up Dorkin- so what’s the probability of a kid winning a game against adults 3 times in a row???”

“I think you’re just mad that I only have 1 card left and I two+ you.” She said with a bratty tone.

“Ugh! DEACON. BUDDY. We can NOT let her win again!”

Buddy rolled his eyes “just draw two cards already~” he said in a dragging his words.

Chase grabbed the two cards and Buddy put down a yellow. When it was Deacons turn he stacked a few numbers and kept the color yellow.

“DARN IT DEACON WHY DIDNT YOU CHANGE THE COLOR???” Prunella shouted

Prunella started to draw some cards but unfortunately she didn’t draw any yellow cards (or good cards) until her hands had 8 cards in total.

Chase had 5 cards in his hand, Buddy had 5 and Deacon had 6 cards.

Chase place down three cards down that had the same number and kept the color yellow. Then he put a smirk on his face knowing that Prunella doesn’t have this color. Buddy placed another yellow card and Deacon reversed it back to Buddy.

Oh? Buddy thought. As much as he loves Chase’s bickering with prunella, he wanted to get his attention too. Right now Chase’s attention was to get Prunella to loose but what about Buddy? Buddy wanted to bicker with Chase too.

He put down a 2 two+ and he changed the color to blue. (The first 2+ was yellow but the other one was blue so Chase got 4+ cards)

“W-WHAT??? BUDDY I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO TEAM UP ON PRUNELLA!!! Also I called out that I didn’t have any 2+ cards in the beginning of the round WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS???”

“Um Prunella’s already loosing tho-“ Deacon tried to explain.

“DEACON THIS IS NOT BETWEEN ME AND YOU!!! ITS BETWEEN ME AND BUDDY”

“Honestly why would you call out you have no 2+ cards in the start of the round.” Buddy smirks at the frustrated smaller person.

Chase grabbed his 4 extra cards while staring at buddy in betrayal.

“Oh why thank you buddy!! Here I’m going to reverse it just so you can have another turn!” Prunella said sweetly.

“Oh why thank you Prunella!” Buddy responded

Chase put down 2 cards with the same number and the color changed to red.

Buddy didn’t have any red but after drawing 2 card he had a red reverse.

“Oh! A reverse! For you Prunella” Buddy returned the favor back

“W-wait when am I going to play” Deacon stuttered on his words a bit but it hasn’t been his turn for awhile.

“ I wish I didn’t reversed it to Buddy” Deacon sighed

Chase put down a red card then Prunella puts down a skip turn card to Deacon.

“OH COME ON PRUNELLA!!” Deacon shouted

“Oh prunella thank you once again” Buddy said is a cocky way

“See Deacon! That child is Eeevvviilllllll~ ALSO WHATS UP WITH YOU AND PRUNELLA, BUDDY!!! Are yall teaming???”

“Oh it was just a small partnership” Buddy placed down 2 cards.

“AH- HHAAAAA UNO NOW ITS GREEN!!!” Chased called out. He placed down 2 cards, one was a red 6 and the other was a green one.

“Oh, I don’t have anything deacon! I already wasted it on Chase!!!” Prunella exclaimed

“Don’t ask me kid- I got the sucky cards”. Deacon sighed

“It’s fine I got a wild 4+ card- I was saving it” Buddy proudly said.

“Ok then…” Prunella said as she puts down a green skip turn card.

“REALLY PRUNELLA???” Deacon shouted

Chase poked Buddy and asked “Wait what’s the other card you have besides a 4+?”

“Why should I tell you???”

“Because your gonna make me loose to a 5 year old”

“ HEY IM 8 CHASE!!! I. AM. 8.” Prunella fumed

“I have a green but I’m not gonna put it down cause I know your last card is that color” Buddy said with his usual purr at the end of his voice.

“Come on Buddy!!! Chase is just stalling at this point” Deacon assured

“Why can’t you put the green down babe?” Chase said tugging on buddy’s shirt a little

“W-wait what?” Buddy stuttered

“Pumpkin??” Chase tilted his head toward Buddy “Sweetheart???”

“Oh- this is so cringe” Prunella said looking away

“Buddy Wuddy???” Chase started to scoot a bit closer to Buddy while he tried to back away.

“Oh come on Prunella! Buddy’s not gonna fall for tha-“

“UNO OUT!!!!” Chase screamed

Buddy brought his knees up to cover his red face.

“WAIT WHAT?” Deacon questioned

“And yet you accused ME of cheating” Prunella leaned back throwing her cards up in the air

“OH YEAH!!! CHASE HOLLOW LIKE AND FOLLOW!!! BEST UNO PLAYER!” Chase bragged.

“Yeah- Prunella’s right you even accused me of cheating too and yet your here seducing Buddy like it’s not a form of cheating” Deacon crossed his arms

“UH DEACON- on the first round you literally stacked colors like- dude- who does that!!! That’s so cheating -actually its the cheatingest thing I ever witnessed!!!” Chase defended

“ SOME PEOPLE DO THAT OK CHASE???”

“People with no sense of mind” Chase scoffed

“YOU SEDUCED BUDDY!! HOW IS THAT NOT CHEATING???”

“ERM SEDUCING IS A FORM OF ART NOT A FORM OF CHEATING BESIDES ITS OK TO SEDUCE BUDDY HE’S MY BOYFRI-“

Buddy pulled on chases hood “Can we stop talking about how that brat seduced me!?” He tried to sound as menacing as possible while looking down at his feet.

*Sigh* “Their hopeless ” Prunella muttered

[moki-dokie]

rating the birds in my backyard on their tendency towards violence

@luulapants inspired me to make a bird post as well. we should talk about our local dinosaurs more! (not including the same birds from their post we also have here)

great-tailed grackle 7/10 physical violence is not how you guys operate. you wage mental warfare with a barrage of unending noises on the most annoying frequency imaginable to man. also some of you have mastered mimicry in the wild and this is simply too much power for a beast like you to wield. (similar to the common grackle but infinitely more annoying)

american kestrel 3/10 she's beauty, she's grace, she'll smack an eagle in the face. fearless and skilled little predator that delights me every time i get to see one. bit more secretive than other raptors tho.

red-tailed hawk -1/10 a majestic cry that always gets used for eagles in voiceovers, absolutely stunning, and a staple of the midwest and west but... baby ain't got a single braincell. head empty. mobbed on the regular by birds a tenth their size. i've personally watched a single sparrow harass one for 30 minutes before it gave up and ran away. can't steal shit to save its own life. scared of everything ever. they're basically horses of the birds of prey, if horses were a little less psychotic.

mallard duck 1/10 just little dudes doing their own thing. females can get a little aggro when nesting thats about it. sometimes pushy when food is involved. otherwise just chill, beautiful guys. but do me a solid, my web-footed friends? stop fucking nesting in my garden!! i don't like stressing you out when i'm tending to it!!

northern bobwhite (quail) -5000000/10 you're doing great sweetie just keep doing what you're doing. bob-bobwhite amirite

red-winged blackbird 4/10 you lot have a scare tactic technique that sparrows wish they had by just squaring up in numbers and looking fabulous while doing so. no notes.

eastern bluebird 0/10 they've literally never done anything ever wrong. perfection. little fairies but without all the deviousness. absolute cuteness. a blessing to be in ones presence.

scissor-tailed flycatcher 9/10 ahhh yes our stunning state bird. the herald of summer. the graceful acrobatic dancer. the beautiful singer. the brutal serial killer of all things insect. watching them 'hunt' is spectacular. one of the few birds that can hover. they're deadly accurate. almost exclusively capture their prey mid-air. but sometimes they'll get a bug too big to snipe on wing and do you know what they do in that case? they'll take it to their perch and beat it to death. remarkable.

carolina chickadee 4/10 don't let their round sweetness deceive you. they are full of spite and precisely zero fear. will absolutely pick on birds twenty times their size. small man syndrome.

mourning dove 0/10 hwoo hoo hoo hoo?

bald eagle, 2/10 WHAT are you doing this far south sir. we are landlocked my guy. the ocean is that way. big rivers and lakes are the other way. certainly there cannot be enough fish for you here!! surprisingly docile, for a giant raptor.

golden eagle 10/10 he'll eat your dog in front of you and then fuck your wife while maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. everything is afraid of this motherfucker.

great egret 0/10 they're chill and serenity incarnate. and their smaller cattle cousins are exactly the same. their size is the only thing intimidating about them. fuckers are HUGE

american goldfinch 3/10 food aggressive, mostly. lovely to look at. they really like to bitch up a storm tho.

california gull 90000000/10 nature's biggest asshole. we don't even have large bodies of water here. get out.

hummingbirds, all (ruby-throated pictured) 10/10 they choose violence every waking moment. god help you if you've forgotten to refill a nectar feeder. all they know is speed, feed, make things bleed.

barn swallow 9/10 Do Not Go Near The Nest. willing and able to peck you to death.

baltimore oriole 1/10 goofy guys with a great sense of fashion and one of the prettiest songs. they're just here to flirt and have a good time

greater roadrunner 3/10 i love our mini velociraptors so much i dare not speak ill of them. also one of the few birds that fuck outside of the need to reproduce. hell yeah my dudes get it on you freaky little dinos.

northern mockingbird 5/10 i think these guys are on par with how the europeans feel about magpies. they don't really steal shit, but they will, like grackles, commit psychological warfare by being the most annoying little shit possible. and sometimes they're bold enough to chase you. their hatred of cats outweighs their sense of self-preservation, too. they will get into a metaphorical fist fight with a cat. and win, usually.

eastern meadowlark 6/10 i know our prairies are awfully tempting to go frolicking in but unless you crave an unusual death that involves being relentlessly shrieked at with drive-by stabbings, i wouldn't recommend it. these guys are lurking in the tall grass, just waiting to fuck up your day.

black vulture 1/10 slightly smaller than their red-faced cousin, way more common here, and so so chill. they're all bark and no bite, unless you're roadkill. is one in the road blocking you from passing because he's chowing down on a dead opossum? go around, bitch. you are not important enough for him to get out of the way.

wild turkey 11/10 (males) female turkeys are pretty cool. they can be a bit Extra but generally they just want to eat. males, however. males would love nothing more but to beat you to death and then take a shit on your corpse. persistent. unyielding. once you have become a target your only hope is getting in a car and quickly driving away. if they don't beat the shit out of your car first, that is.

desert cardinal 2/10 these guys are great. they're not even supposed to be here. i always mistake them for female cardinals at first. about the same temperament as normal cardinals. they're weird but everyone seems to be okay with them.

great horned owl 8/10 so, so stupid and yet so spiteful. not a great combo. so ironic owls are the posterchild of wise when they're perhaps one of the dumbest birds of prey. its a wonder they haven't stupided their way into extinction. only thing this idiot has going for it is being so photogenic and has the most creepy mood-setting song ever.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

rating luxiem and noctyx by how good they would be at taking care of bugs

my name is unit 4402 and i’m typing this on my phone. autocorrect’s suggested emojis are going to go crazy wish me luck

tags: ambiguous relationship, can be read as platonic or romantic, gender neutral reader, fluff, humor, bugs and spiders

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

🖋 Ike Eveland: 4/10

he’s neutral about most bugs. he’ll pick up critters like beetles and caterpillars with his hands and set them outside

gets grossed out by the nastier bugs though. won’t touch ‘em himself, they’re lucky if he can gather himself enough to get a paper and cup. otherwise it’s swatter time with gritted teeth and barely mustered courage

SPIDERS. HOWEVER.

certified spider hater. absolutely terrified of them get out of here!!!

he'll use a swatter, pesticides, everything. but he’s so afraid of how they disappear when he’s not looking

you’ll have to keep an eye on it while he finds the pesticide or vice versa

if he’s unfortunate enough to be the one to kill it you’ll have to hype him up, calm his nerves, and then tell him it’s okay once the deed is done

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🦁 Luca Kaneshiro -100/10

this guy… easily the worst of both units at bug duty. you might just have to take the bullet

he gets sketched out by even the cute ones like butterflies and ladybugs if he looks at them for too long. there’s no way he could even take a moth with a level head

he even reacts to all of them the same. “AAAAH! T-t-there’s a [BUG NAME] in [room name]!”

even so he tries to be nice to them with a cup and paper, or some other method to get them out of his space

unfortunately australian wildlife has prepared him so smaller bugs are still scary but he’ll be a big scared scary mafia boss and take action

and everyone says they’ll leave the house as a joke if they can’t find the spider but it’s luca. there is a solid chance that he will invite you to stay with him in one of the kaneshiro vacation homes for about three days. that’s enough time for the bugs to leave, right?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👟 Shu Yamino: 10/10

oh! a bug!

is rather delighted at bug!

honestly if it’s a cool bug he might just take a video of it doing its thing and give it a personality!

he has a out-of-sight, out-of-mind philosophy with bugs. he’s fine with just about anything as long as they aren't annoying

harmful pests will get swatted tho ofc

everything else, he’s fine with bringing outside himself without much fanfare

some of them are a little creepy but he tries to rationalize it. they’re just tiny animals and he’s a big strong sorcerer, it’s fine. what are they gonna do, infest him to death?

…he’s going to spray the house down later just to be sure.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👹 Vox Akuma: 9/10

a wild card. and also VERY emotionally invested in any bugs that come his way whether that’s good or bad

if they manage to sneak up on him he’ll probably yell “WOAH” or curse out of surprise, then figure out whether he should be scared or not

surprisingly fine with the nastiest of them. he actually loves worms, centipedes and similar critters, and he’ll even admire them if they stumble into his territory

“look reader this is me if i were a worm. would you still love me if i was a worm 🥺” “vox please just get that thing outside”

spiders have a 50-50 survival chance. he’ll kill small spiders but bring the big ones outside because the big ones are like full Animals to him and slaughtering animals is not something he can bring himself to do (tiny ones don’t count)

are scorpions bugs? do they count? either way that’s his one objection. he wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole if he had the choice, but if you’re really that scared, then he’ll put on a brave face and hide his fear

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🎭 Alban Knox: 2/10

if he’s going to take care of a bug you need to make peace with the fact that he will whine the entire time

not a cute fun whine either. he’ll complain the entire time that it’s gross and nasty and ewww yuck ugh!

and that’s just for beetles and caterpillars

show him a spider or something else just as creepy and he will actually scream

and yell as he fumbles around to take care of it

and yell as he eventually grabs it with his hands (he’s panicking a little too hard to get a tool)

and yell as he tries to open the door and throw it outside

this is assuming he doesn’t find a slipper nearby. if he has a tissue or something he’ll smash the bug over and over until it’s pulverized

and he’ll STILL be yelling while he does that

the job gets done but at what cost

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🐑 Fulgur Ovid: 6/10

he’s not a 6/10 because he dislikes bugs. he’s neutral towards them, not really creeped out by them but not a fan either

he’s a 6/10 because he’s a dick about taking care of them for you

here’s how it usually goes: you summon him to save you from a creepy crawly. he’ll inspect it and go “really, you’re scared of that little thing? look at it closer, it’s just a bug”

and once he quits fooling around he just swipes it up. his fingers are solid steel which allows for Precise Bug Snatching

but he’ll act unsure and go “i think i got it. here, reader, look inside my hand and tell me if you see it”

or even the dreaded move where he pretends he’s bringing the bug closer to you so you have to see it

and THEN once he’s outside he’ll open his hands and go “wait i think i lost it” just to get a rise out of you until he confirms yes, it’s safe and out of the house

if you’re legitimately terrified then he doesn’t even bother with the jokes. just point out the bug and close your eyes, and he’ll be washing his hands while you stare back at a smudge on the wall before you can even get out a sentence

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🔗 Sonny Brisko: 8/10

somehow both a gentle soul and a complete menace

he's very matter-of-fact when you point them out. "it's just a little jumping spider, no big deal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

in fact he's almost adorable with how he quietly talks to the bugs and coaxes them to crawl on his hand so he can get them out of your way

and then he prods and begs you to take a picture of the bug bc it's a cool little guy

surprisingly knowledgeable and can identify bugs easily, so once he's got one in his hands he'll show it to you and tell you some facts about it

which is very sweet except for the fact that it's still a nasty bug and you want it out of your face!

he'll lightly tease you over being so scared of a little bug while he takes them outside. and if it's a pest-eater like a spider he'll hide it in a dark corner out of your sight

overall very kind to bugs and thinks they're friendly

which is why it throws you so hard that sometimes after he coos over them he just FUCKING SMASHES THEM IN HIS PALM?

NO HESITATION AT ALL??

WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM???

also when the bug is taken care of he'll sneak behind you and lightly tap his fingers up your arm like a creepy-crawly and then laugh when you get scared. what a shithead

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🔮 Uki Violeta: 15/10

the very essence of "i'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with ME"

it's like watching a cat hunt an unaware mouse. he's so quick about it

and he's so good at it too?? he'll find the bug, swat it, and throw the remains away in less than a minute on a good day

doesn't even act like it's a big deal either, he just goes back to what he was doing before you asked for help

he uses tissues or shoes on the big ones like roaches, but anything small, he's surprisingly good at crushing them with his bare hands. this is especially funny when he has acrylics on bc those nails never get dirty nor in the way

spiders get the relocation pass, and he'll insist they stay inside, just out of sight

non-zero chance if you complain about it, he'll go on a lecture about how spiders are how you prevent other pests from invading the house

honestly you only see this side of uki once. the bugs are too scared to show their faces after this stint

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi