#1st of all i find that not being able to hear someone trying to harass you makes it a lot easier to completely ignore them

[anotherpapercut]

this dude got off the bus at the same time as me and was kind of following me so I like kept an eye on him but kept walking and bopping to fall out boy until I didn't see him anymore. then a minute later a car drove up beside me and asked if I needed a ride and I told him I was ok bc I'm like a half a block away and he said "oh ok I just wanted to make sure you were ok cause I saw that guy yelling at you" and I was like he was what???? bc I had my music up so loud I literally just couldn't hear a guy who was following me yelling. luckily he apparently got tired of me not responding and turned down a different street lmfao

[dropintomanga]

Disgraceful Yet Cherished Bonds

I was reading through Noragami recently and there was a comment from one character, Ebisu, about the friendship of the main characters, Yato and Yukine. Ebisu noted that the two were trying to sell each other out at the sight of his money in their 1st meeting. While the relationship isn’t that of a typical god and his Shinki, Ebisu found that the two’s connection felt like a real friendship.

I remember scenes in Gintama where all the Yorozuya yell at each other constantly. Other characters have noted that they wished they had friends like the Yorozuya in their lives. There’s many scenes like this in anime/manga where characters would comment on the main characters’ honest relationships with closest supporting characters they were closest to.

Sometimes, we can’t count on immediate family to talk about our inner-most feelings. Family members are often stressed and/or dealing with their own trauma. I find those moments where characters with troubled pasts express some commentary on those with brutally honest friendships endearing. What’s beautiful about those kinds of relationships are that each party stands as equal and worthy of respect. They also allow each other to say their piece even if they disagree. 

Right now, I see most relationships today are treated as hierarchal and/or transactional. There’s little room for intimacy to come out. Maybe that’s a big reason why I see so many youth resort to suicide as the years have gone by. No one listens to them. No one allows them to express themselves in an honest manner. Youth don’t seem to be allowed to have some kind of agency.

I think about my relationship with my family. I get into arguments with my parents from time to time even thought we’re close. They do get really tense, but we always gave each other the respect to say what we want to say. Or maybe I should say my parents always encouraged me to speak my mind whenever I felt on edge. Whenever I hear about bad relationships, they always felt like someone’s trying to control/gaslight the other person.

There’s a scene in the final arc of Attack on Titan where both sides of the conflict gathered in a campfire before their attempt to save the world. They talked with each other for the 1st time after treating one another as “villains.” Grievances were aired, fists were thrown, and readers got to see some raw moments of vulnerability from characters that aren’t exactly likable. The characters may not be goody-goody with one another, but whenever you’re able to be honest with someone and they allow you to do so without fear, it means a lot to both sides.

People say love is all you need, but love can become stalking and harassment. It can treat the one being loved as a perfect being and that they can do no wrong. Real love is about being able to put up with your friend/partner/companion’s flaws and helping them grow. Every relationship is going to involve some kind of conflict. The closer you get, the more vulnerable things become. Plus, everyone has blind spots. We often underestimate our own tendency to be biased.

The true beauty of anime characters that have any kind of substantial relationship arguing amongst each other is that they don’t avoid the possibility of conflict. They welcome it. I hope fans that enjoy those interactions learn from them to get others to understand their viewpoints with confidence. Or even better, use that anger to do good for those they care about like their favorite characters.

[crowgale]

Resident Evil 2 AU

Claire Redfield x Elza Walker

Generally the characters are the same, but with a kick of real so they aren't blank slates. Elza herself is a street-smart, confident young woman with a troubled past.

Born Elizibeth Walker in Anchorage, Alaska to parents separated before she was born, her father was an fortuitous yet endearing construction worker who took custody of her until he went missing during the construction of an Umbrella Research Facility in the Rockies during her early teens and was then sent to Connecticut to live with her mother, who was an abusive drug addict.

In her teens she developed a keen interest in motorcycles while overstudying in a library to avoid her mother and further strengthed it with part-time jobs in various mechanics. Eventually she lost hope in her father being found and her increasingly hostile mother drove her to runaway from home, using connections she developed through gangs and mechanics to move to Florida and join an amatuer racing contest in Daytona under the alias 'Elza' (Her father's nickname for her)... where she broke the track record 4 times (The first was the previous fastest lap time, she then broke her own fastest laps 3 times).

By her 18th birthday she had left her criminal ties behind and became a minor celebrity on the fast track to becoming a professional bike racer. She had sponsers ready to pay her into any university she wanted, emancipation from her mother and enough money saved up from work and victories to let her live as an independant young woman.

Elizabeth was gone. She was Elza now, and she had found her path to happiness.

~

By 1996 Claire had enrolled in the University of Houstan, Texas. Chris hoped she would enrol in Kansas City so she'd be closer to him but she wasn't going to be his little sister forever. She had grown up quick after their parents died... they both did.

Elza and Claire first met the week before classes started, Claire having just moved into the dorms a day before; Elza arriving like a perfect storm the next day on an customised kawasaki sports bike and a trailer full of her belongings.

Claire recognised her of course, her debut into the racing world made national headlines. So like a dork Claire was shy and tried to avoid Elza as she rode in on her Harley Davidson, after running an errand off campus.

Elza however, heard the sound of a Harley and wanted to know who owned it. She took one look at Claire in her red leather shorts, that 'Made in Heaven' jacket tied around her waist and that tight black bodysuit she had no business looking so sexy in, decided 'Yeah, I'm chilling with you!" and was having none of it.

There was, what a native of Northern Ireland like myself would call, a fresher's fair that night and like a hawk Elza seeked out the introverted Claire and started asking about her bike.

By the end of the night, Claire's shyness vanished upon realising that the seemingly untouchable queen of bikers, whose body was covered in tattoos and whose hair was as wild and untamed as the wind, was actually a massive dork. Elza however found someone who had quickly seen her and not the racing queen. The dealbreaker came when Elza asked what made her get a bike to begin with.

"Well... my brother owned a Suzuki before but... I guess I saw the film 'Akira' and that's what made me do it"

"Oh my god bitch me too!!!"

The two would then become firm friends. Elza being the misadventurous one who managed to talk Claire into actually leaving the library and give herself a break from studying; Claire being the one to get them out of trouble and keep Elza grounded. The two became a power-couple without realising, defending the other from rude people who mocked Elza for daring to be a woman racer or harassed Claire for her looks or for trying to latch onto a celebrity. It went without saying no one could harass these women if they wanted their hearing and face intact.

Things would eventually become more personal between the two. The week after New Years, Elza received news that her mother had died from a drug overdose. Although she didn't need to, Claire bought a side-car for her bike and rode her to New London for the funeral.

The service itself was tense. Elza being uncharacteristically silent and the lack of relatives worried Claire as the service ended. She never saw Elza's eyes look so cold as she gave her eulogy, which she soon realised was a stock eulogy the minister gave to those who didn't write one.

A while after she was buried in the a man approached Elza in the cemetary, introduced himself as her mother's dealer and decided that since she was a famous racer her mother's debt would pass on to Elza and that she would pay him else there would be cpnsequences; it goes without saying she refused to pay off the debt and apathetically asked him to leave.

Claire was on him like a wolf the moment he slapped her and was ready to kill him when he started to threaten her with a knife.

She very nearly did.

They left New London that evening amidst a police BOLO for a woman with auburn hair seen kicking the living shit out of a man in a graveyard. They made it to Kent Island before a blizzard rolled in and they had to say at an inn along the Chesepeake Bay.

That night Claire meant to apologise for her actions, stating she saw her get hit and just... reacted. But Elza pulled her into a tight hug and finally released her pent up emotions. She told Claire about her fathers disappearance, about the years of torment at her mothers hands, that this wasn't the first time something like this happened, that she doesn't understand why she's crying if she hated her mother so much and how much it hurt to remember all those terrrible things and have someone make her feel like that scared little girl again.

Claire, feeling her best friend shake in her arms, doesn't know what to say. She's silent for a time as Elza holds onto her like a lifeline, as if letting go would make her fall off the Earth itself. She finally tells Elza that she isn't that little girl anymore.

"You are Elza Walker! Yhe Woman who can never be slowed! You're unreachable! Unstoppable! And no one will ever hurt you again!... I... don't want to see you hurt again"

Elza didn't speak for a while after that... but eventually she did and what she said broke Claire.

"I've wished for someone like you my whole life Claire"

~

Life returned to normal soon after that. One tournament race was enough to bring Elza Walker roaring back to life and with a vengeance. She was faster, she was braver, her smile after each weekly victory able to light up the world... or at least Claire's, who now made it a point to go to every race, or at least watch it on TV if the race was in a city too far out of reach.

Elza knew Claire was watching her... she figured that's why she was doing better now.

~

Spring came and went, the summer exams now already a fading memory to the pair, but foreshadowed by Claire losing her part-time job and being unable to find another one. With no means to pay for her student fees it looked like she would be forced to drop-out.

But Elza wouldn't have any of it.

"I know how you can pay off your fees. A guy in my pit crew retired a month ago and I've been short two hands ever since. It's hard work but the pays good and if I make pro next month it'll be even better"; she said idly at a bar one evening.

"You... you want me in your pit crew?"; Claire asked incredulously.

"No, I want you as my personal pitbabe so I can drool at you in a tight spandex jumpsuit looking all cute with dirt on your face"; Elza said with a lop-sided smile.

"Ha!"

"Hm... seriously Claire, I want you there with me. I can't imagine anyone better to look after me on the track"; Elza said confidently.

"...You do take way too many risks"; Claire mused, before Elza held her cheek in her hands.

"You told me once that I am the woman who can never be slowed... well Redfield, I'd slow down for you!"

~

Elza's manager might have called her decision to hire Claire personally driven and entirely unprofessional. However, Claire proved herself highly compotent within a week of employment, being able to keep up with the repairs, adjustments and tyre changes her job demanded.

It was also found that Elza actually listened to Claire whenever she was pushing her luck, which turned out to be a blessing in the final race of the season in San Francesco. Her main rival who was tied for 1st with Elza didn't want to lose to a woman, and in the final 3 laps had begun making poor judgement calls to try and keep up with her. Risky overtakes, tight cornering and high speed was equally met, and soon Elza found herself in a dogfight she refused to lose.

If Claire hadn't screamed at her to brake before the last corner, she would have been thrown off her bike with her rival after an attemped inside lane overtake resulted in them losing control of the bike and wiping out.

Elza won of course, making it into the professional league. It was a dream come true. At no point after she took off her helmet and locked teary eyes with Claire could she make any expression that wasn't a bashful smile or tears of joy. It also seemed like she couldn't stop looking at Claire during the victory reception or later that night on the train ride home... where she had too much to drink, leaving Claire having to help Elza meander into the sleeping car after the 8th Buttery Nipple.

She helped her move herself onto the bed, but Elza didn't let go of her hand. Instead she brought her hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles and held it to her cheek as she openly wept.

[tomie-elle]

Haikyuu Matchup

@myeggodied: "Here for a matchup! I go by Keyo or Yo, either one. I’m 18, female. i’ve got brown hair, hazel eyes, i’m 5’2, i’m a Taurus. Born May 2nd. I’m super introverted, pretty shy, but I try my best to be nice to everyone (once u get to know me im loud). I LOVE cats and food. My love language is DEF acts of kindness, and physical touch. I’m a middle child, I like to draw, read and for some reason I find math fun. My favorite song is CharcoalHearts by Bones. As a kid I always found a way to bring a new cat home..lol. In a s/o I want someone very very attentive and tall/big, specifically male please. But a romanic rel. is ideal and I would like to know how my matchup and I met. Thank you so so much for doing what you do, you’re amazing. 💜"  

Hi Keyo (I love your name btw it's really pretty), the HQ boy I would most likely match you with is... 

Iwaizumi Hajime   

Iwaizumi=Best Boi

he for sure knows how to take care of his S/O

kind, caring, and supportive he’s everything you could ask for 

plus have you seen those arms (there's a reason why he is the arm wrestling champion) 

Reason(s): the main reasons for me choosing Iwaizumi as your matchup is because: 

attentive/understanding: you had voiced your want of an S/O who is an attentive partner and due to Iwaizumi's very supportive nature I thought that it would be a great fit for you. Iwaizumi is very perceptive with him  being one of the only people that is able to notice Oikawa's slight change in behavior/attitude, he for sure would notice when something is wrong and would be very pro-active with constant light-hearted advice and words of support/praise. In addition as a fellow introvert I understand that starting conversations with people your comfortable with can be a burden, with Iwaizumi's attentive native he would totally notice when your starting to go back into your shell so he'll always help start and continue the conversations when needed.

love language: Iwaizumi's love language has to be physical touch. He totally seems like one of those people who would rather express themselves through their actions rather than their words (I think he would have a hard time expressing himself through words, he would never be able to say want he really means). Having someone have the same love language as you can make a relationship a lot easier because it makes the communication between you both better because of it's easier to understand the person's actions/words. Iwaizumi's favorite form of intimacy would probably be just holding you, like whenever, he just loves having you in his arms (but like who wouldn't want to be held by Iwaizumi). He also loves hand holding, it makes physical touch a lot easier/more convent from, and it's one of the ways he's able to communicate with you. For example, when he notices that you're nervous he'll gently squeeze your hand to let you know that he's there, or when you're holding hand he'll kiss the back of your hand to let you know that he loves you. 

Scenario: (1st meeting) 

Spring, the season of new beginning filled not only with flowers blooming but with endless possibility. You had been hoping for a new beginning yourself with last year in the past, and the new year ahead all you could think about is getting out of school and doing bigger and better things for yourself. You’ve always been on the shyer side at times letting people and opportunities often pass you by because of your genuine fear of being a burden to others and always wanting to be perceived as kind. But that's you in the past, the new you isn’t going to let some dumb bullies harass a sweet and innocent little kitten. While on your way home from a long and tiring day at school, the only thing that sounded good right now was being able to draw in the comfort of your bedroom to let out all the tension and stress school brings with it. As you continue daydreaming and wishing the walk from school wasn’t so damn long, you happen to hear the loud laughter of a group of middle schoolers crowding around each other in the middle of an alleyway. Not really paying any attention to the crowd you continue on with your walk home, until you hear the slight meow of a kitten. You look back one more time into the alleyway and while the children clear for just a second you see a horrific scene. A small kitten was being placed inside a cardboard box and as suddenly as it entered one of the middle school boys started to throw rocks at the box, one by one each of the boys started to throw rocks at the cardboard box with the kitten trapped inside. Horrified and infuriated by the scene before you, you couldn’t just watch helplessly as a bunch on middle school losers were torturing a small and fragile kitten. You run to the kitten's rescue hoping to be able to stop the boys before they could inflict any more damage on the little cat. Screaming at the top of your lungs, “Get the hell away, you little dickheads, I’m going to call the cops of you all”. Stopping, all the boys can’t help but stare at a 5′2 being running at them full speed screaming like a maniac offering to call the cops, not wanting to look scared one of the boy's answers back with, “Yeah call the cops, I ain’t scared of you” and proceeds to shove you to the ground. But as soon as you are shoved a pair of muscular arms are wrapped around your waist to stop your fall. “You should be scared” the mysterious figure behind you growls at the boys. As if they had seen the devil himself, the boys couldn’t help but start to run away. Looking back at the figure behind you, all you can see is a pair of green eyes staring back at you with a look of concern. “Are you all right?”, the boy questions, “Yeah I’m good, um... thanks for that by the way,” you answer. “Hey it was no problem, they needed to be taught a lesson don’t you think.” “Yeah for sure” you giggle back, getting a better view of the mysterious boy, you can’t help but drool at how handsome he is, with a muscular figure and a pair of light green eyes, you can’t help but stare. “Sorry”, looking away shyly cursing yourself for staring too long, “It’s ok”, he answers back with a soft smile, “I wanted to tell you that what you just did right there was pretty badass you know that. Running to save that kitten it was really cool,” the stranger says with a slight blush, he always looks nervous you note to yourself. “What?!?” you quickly answer back, “Me? cool you’re literally the one who scared them all away with just one look”, looking away you can’t help but feel the warm blush start to litter your face. What are saying Keyo?!? you curse yourself. “The names Iwaizumi Hajime”, “Keyo or just Yo, whatever fits”, you shyly reply. “Keyo...that’s a very pretty name, I like it”, Iwaizumi says. You now your face is red, a handsome stranger complimenting you what is going on you ask yourself. While continuing to curse yourself for looking like an idiot, Iwaizumi can’t help but stare at the beautiful stranger in front of him. He remembers seeing you moments ago run into an alleyway screaming at the top of their lungs to save a little kitten, he can’t help but start to laugh. As you hear Iawizumi laughing beside you can’t help but ask, “What?” continuing to laugh he’s able to answer back with, “It’s just...nothing...nothing at all”. And just like that, your life can change as easily as deciding to scream at a bunch of middle schoolers.

(*srry if this sucked, my brain=not work sometimes*)

Honourable Mentions:  

1. Hakuba Gao

2. Kuroo Tetsurō

3. Ushijima Wakatoshi

[studyinganna]

I just want to rant right now.

cw: drug addiction, suicide

I just want to get all this stuff off my chest. I haven’t been seeing a therapist this semester so it’s been hard not holding things in. When I talk to my boyfriend, he makes me feel like he is just telling me my problems aren’t a big deal so I should stop thinking about it. Or he tells me advice which I find annoying because he doesn’t understand my experience and yet he will try tell me how he thinks I should fix it.

So I live with my parents and my dad is “retired” (another way to say he chooses not to work or help). Anyways. So my mom lost her job due to this pandemic and now we have to move out in June because we can’t afford rent here without my mom’s income. I only worked part time because I go to school full time so I can’t even cover rent either. I just cover my own expenses as much as I can. 

All month long I have been trying to find a one bedroom apartment in my new college town but I can’t find anything I can afford. So now I am looking at buying vans, but the town I will be living in is not forgiving of homelessness. I have read about how strict they are with people sleeping in their vehicles over night and how so many people get the cops called on them. When I transfer, I gotta be there for 3 years because I am engineering and it takes longer to get your BS since you have a lot of labs. I am so scared of not feeling safe living there. There is a parking lot available now for homeless people to park in due to repercussions of the pandemic but I don't know how long that will last. I need to know where I can park for the next 3 years. I don’t want to be harassed by policed and fined money I can’t pay. I think it’s so horrible that the town criminalizes homelessness to the extent that they do. 

Yesterday I was driving north to check out a van (mind you I have finals this week and it was a 6 hour drive one way). I told this couple that I was desperate for a vehicle to live in because I needed it for college and that I would be able to pay in full and I wanted to see it as soon as possible. I told them I could go Monday because it’s a holiday. They asked about Tuesday but i told them i couldn't due to finals week. 5 hours into the drive they told me they sold it and it didn’t pass smog. fuck you guys. I drove 10 fucking hours during finals week so you could sell it to someone else. And you knew what my situation was. FUCK YOU.

Not only will I be homeless by July 1st but so will my mom. She already bought a vehicle to live in but let me tell you why this concerns me. She is an alcoholic who doesn’t stop until she blacks out. And she will drive even when she is drunk. The combination of my mom’s home being the vehicle that she will likely drive drunk in is a deadly one, to her and others. I am very worried that something is going to happen to her while I am in college. 

My dad will be moving to another town where his family is. But since this town is very cheap, he will be able to live on his own. Sounds good right? Well it’s actually not because he has very poor health. This year alone he has had multiple strokes that my mom always catches and takes him to the ER. If not for her, he would never go to the hospital and he would just die. My mom thinks his family will check on him but i disagree. He doesn’t really get along with his family so I doubt they will want to see each other all the time. What a week goes by and he is having a stroke and no one visits? So I am also worried about my father dying while I am in college.

Guess what else. My dog is old but I cannot obviously force him to live with me in my car. That’s too small and I will be busy with college. I will not be able to provide him proper care. So I have to let him live with another person in the mean time but since he is old, I am also scared he will die while I am in college. 

So I am worried my mom, dad, and dog will die while I am in college. I don’t want to be separated from them because I want to be able to keep an eye on all of them to make sure they are okay but I can’t do that. And I am also worried about being homeless and harassed by policemen. 

Also, today I found a broken crack pipe on the floor of my bathroom which fell out of my dad’s laundry load. Thanks dad.

Also, this whole time in quarantine I have had to deal with my parents misbehavior. My mom and dad are bother terrible personality wise. Everyday I am woken up by my mom because she is always yelling at my dad. Saying derogatory things like “faggot”, “pig” etc. Btw I am bi and totally not out to my mom because why the fuck would I risk finding out how she would treat me. She already bullies me for having liberal beliefs, being feminist and vegan. She is very religious and conservative. And stubborn and rude and mean. But I still don’t want her to die alone in a car because of alcoholism. And even though my dad is an angry selfish person, I don’t want him dying of a stroke in the house or overdosing all alone. I also don’t want my dog to die without his mommy (me) able to help him. It fucking sucks worrying about this shit. I hate it so much. 

I don’t want to hear that fucking bullshit “it gets better” “everything happens for a reason”. There’s no fucking higher power. Shit just gets worse. For no reason. The only higher powers are the rich and the shit that happens for a reason is because they control the privilege and they give it all to themselves. 

So yeah you could say my suicidal ideation has definitely gotten worse. 5 years of hard work to attend the college of my dreams just so it could turn into this? yeah fuckin right. If this is what I get for doing my best than whats the fucking point. 

[weareallfallengods]

Flight from Grace Chapter 1 - A small stumble

The long-awaited complete 1st chapter of my WIP novel! I started this over 6 months ago and I’m finally getting into the swing of it.

Synopsis: What happens when a Fallen Angel with no memory of her own eternal past meets a woman who can see her for who she really is? A head on collision between the world as we know it and an eternal battle between the immortals tasked with safeguarding the mortal realm. 

Grace can see things she shouldn’t be able to; after all, immortals have gone to a lot of trouble to make sure we can’t see them as they really are, so Something Has Changed, and she and her Fallen Angel will find out what’s going on, and why they seem to always be stuck in the middle of it all.

Themes: Angels and Demons, examination of mortality and our understanding of and belief in the supernatural as well as the eternal nature of existence. The battle between good and evil, and how no one is ever what they seem to be when we look past prejudices and social judgements. LGBTQ+, proper ethnic and cultural representation (read: most characters aren’t straight or white!).

Triggers: If you don’t like stories that put an often irreverant and sacriligeous spin on Christian mythos, this isn’t for you. LGBTQ+ romance, slow burn, non-explicit.

===================================================

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it. 

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could. 

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway. 

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!" 

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now. 

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually. 

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm. 

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound. 

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of. 

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did. 

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure. 

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night. 

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck. 

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too. 

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore. 

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage. 

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn. 

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again. 

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important. 

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?” 

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me. 

This thing tossed us like a couple of rag dolls thrown from a child’s stroller being kicked by a football player. Or at least it started to go that way. Somehow, as the bike ground across the pavement, with just my left hand managing to keep any kind of hold on the bike, I managed to swing myself around it like a gymnast on a gold-medal winning vault-horse routine, snagged Grace’s bar apron with my free hand, and with sheer desperate strength, yank all three back together, right as the beast’s slavering maw snapped shut on empty air where Grace’s head had been just milliseconds before. Through pure accident of positioning, my toes raked across it’s eyes as my leg swung around and I slammed them back down on the pegs, jammed the throttle all the way open, even as Grace somehow managed to complete the circle I’d pulled her in, ending by straddling my hips, arms and hair akimbo while we slid sideways, fortunately tires first. 

Grace’s eyes were wider than a kid who opened their eyes to Disneyland on a Christmas morning as she slammed into me, and I used our momentum to get the bike fully upright, only barely escaping a second snap from the beast as it lunged again, trying to tear us apart. 

That near miss, and the sigh of relief I almost let happen, didn’t get a chance to last long. 

Her damn hair was in my face, which at any other time, wouldn’t have been a problem, really, but just at that second, was incredibly, blindingly, distracting. And it might have saved our lives. 

Something hot burned into my shoulder and face as the sound of crashing metal and people yelling slammed into me. Hm, spicy.

“Shit! Watch out! Sorry!” Grace called to the one lady who wasn’t running for the hills as we smashed through her food cart. Can you get third-degree barbecue sauce burns? Food trays, sauces and meat all went flying as we dervished our way right through the middle of her street-side restaurant, sweet and spicy and sticky all at once, all over the ground, and all over me and Grace as well. I couldn’t think of anything more than just keeping everything together and moving forward. Run. The only thought occupying my mind. Just run.

“Hey.”

The softness of her voice is what brought me back to the girl squished up against me and out of the rabbit-instinct flight mode I was in. 

I don’t know why but for some reason, my brain decided that was the perfect moment to notice that I’d never realized how captivating the color brown could be. Grace’s eyes were less than inches from mine, and I froze for a second. Again. 

“I think it’s stopped.”

I glanced back. The beast had been right on top of us when we hit the food cart, but now it was standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, sniffing around for all the world like the biggest, dumbest, glowiest dog you’ve ever seen. OK, a dog that could tear a truck apart like a box of tissues, but still. 

“What the hell is it doing?” 

“Maybe it’s hungry.”

I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud. I’d never seen one of these things just...stop like that. It didn't make sense. 

No time to think of that right now, just enough time to dart down another alley, blocking the beast from view as it sat down to lap up all the spilled barbecued beef at its feet. 

As we weaved and darted through alleys and parking lots, squeezing through sidewalks and darting across small streets, I started to recognize where we were now, and had the barest inkling of a plan besides ‘get away without dying.’

“Whatever that thing is, I think it likes barbecue.”   

Grace’s whispered comment snapped me back to what was right in front of me, the whole reason I was in this kind of mess again in the first place. . 

“Hunh?”

“I think it stopped to eat at the barbecue stand we knocked over. It’s not chasing us anymore- look.”

I tried to check the mirror again, only to find they’d both been ripped off by now, so switched to glancing over my shoulder quickly, and saw no ominous glow behind us, other than the few street lamps on the small boulevard we were going down. 

“Barbecue?” I was still pretty confused. Probably drunk too. But definitely confused. 

Grace’s laugh was carried away on the night like fireworks swept away in a light breeze. “Well, I dunno what the hell that thing was, but I haven’t met anyone yet who wouldn’t drop everything for good barbecue, honey.”

Raising an eyebrow, I laughed, “Well it’s good to see I’m not the only one here who can make wildly ridiculous comments with horrible timing!”

“Funny the things you think about when you should be focusing on other stuff that’s a little more important, hunh? Like right now, all I can think about is a nice rack of ribs.” Grace grew quieter as her head sank back down on to my shoulder. “Where we headed, sugar?”

“Somewhere close. Safe. I think.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The old loft was just as dank and dirty and run down on the inside as it looked on the outside. Probably worse. No diamonds in the rough here, that’s for sure. Broken glass scattered on the beat up industrial floor scattered the glow of the streetlight through the mist that filled the space. Definitely not up to my usual standard, but hey, we couldn’t really complain too much.

Throwing an old, discarded, and probably moldy, but definitely more disgusting than I wanted to ever touch again, mover’s blanket over the plate window helped to at least hide a little bit of how gross this place looked. Plus, privacy. A quick scan around and I found a pile of old tarps and a couple skeezy mattresses that I definitely wasn’t going to think about where they’d been or who’d done what on them for how long. It’d have to do. A dirty mattress was a small price to pay for still being alive.

"It's not the Four Seasons, but it'll do for now. It's kinda cold- I don't think the building even has heat, but I think we can keep warm enough to make it through the rest of tonight at least."

Grace flopped down heavily on the mattress, exhausted, shoulders slumped, staring vacantly at the floor.

"That was...was that...I don't even know where to start. My brain's been turned to oatmeal. What…? What happened? What in the name of all fucks just happened?"

“Yeah, there’s kind of a lot to unpack here isn’t there?” I just crumpled down into one of the old blankets like a sock puppet being dropped into its nest. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“Ya think? Like one minute, I’m trying to mind my business, working my shift at the bar, wondering whether I’m going to have to give another statement to the cops after another bar fight breaks out, and the next I’m getting tossed around like a hot sweet-potato, almost get eaten by a glowing, walking catfish that got beaten a little too hard with the ugly stick, get covered in barbecue sauce, do-si-doed by a goddamn motorcycle ninja, only to wind up in some place that looks like it was lifted straight out of Zillow for Crackheads!”

A snort of wry, tired amusement escaped me. “Yeah, I guess it really does look that bad here. I mean, I’m surprised this place is even still standing after all this time, but you’re right, it definitely looks a bit sketchy.”

“Way to avoid the point, hun.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not sure why, but she kept making me nervous, and the way she was sort of frowning while pinning me down with those sparkling coffee eyes definitely wasn’t helping. Probably just wasn’t used to people making eye contact. Which was the whole reason I was in this mess to begin with. Another sigh. 

“Alright. I’ll explain as much as I can. You deserve that much.”

Grace flopped down on the edge of the mattress, chin propped in her hands for all the world like a kid during goddamn story time. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate when she’s doing things like that? Look away! Only way to save myself for now. 

“OK, here goes. So the thing you saw? Well, it’s a…” I scowled. “It’s a...sunuvabitch, I don’t really know what it’s called. Alright, further back then. The basics. Got it.

“Supernatural things exist. Like you believe that humans are the highest species on this planet and that you’re all alone in the universe, and no one can quite agree on whether there was anything before or after this life or what happens when you die, right? Well, a lot of what most people believe to be myth or religious superstition is actually, um, real.”

So she hasn’t tried to run away just yet. That’s a good sign, right?

“From what I’ve been able to piece together, from the bits I can remember, what you would call ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ are real places- they’re just not really visible to mortals. Most of the time. ‘Angels’ and ‘demons’ are real things too, but they’re a little bit different than most people tend to think of them from what I’ve seen. 

“I don’t know how many there are, but there’s angels and demons walking around, living just like you and me, every day. The thing is, that mortals like you can’t see them. And that’s where the problem is.”

“Like me?” It wasn’t really a question. Her tone made that clear enough.

“Oh boy. OK, here’s the big one- because with the heaven and hell stuff, most people can be like ‘meh, it’s all superstitious nonsense anyway’ and brush it off. This? Not so much. 

“I’m not human. Or mortal. I can see angels and demons walking around plain as day, just like the ones I’ve met can see me. Mortals...see something else.”

“Like the creep at the bar earlier? Did he see...something else? In you?”

“Yeah. On the outside, at first glance, I look like any other girl. But look closer? Well, you saw what happened. People just aren’t ready to see my real nature.”

“But that didn’t happen to me.” Now Grace was looking a little bit confused- but the kind of confused you get when a teacher is explaining something that you know should make sense, even if you were having a hard time getting it. 

“No, it didn’t. And it took me way too long to pick up on that. I should’ve realized right away. If I had, maybe I could have gotten you out of there faster and that whole ‘sweet potato’ thing wouldn’t have happened.”

“So what should I be seeing? When I look into your eyes I mean?”

“Probably something along the lines of falling through an eternally expanding universe, a sense that you’re tinier than a piece of sand in the scope of the cosmos, that sort of thing. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from a couple of the ones who were able to be slightly coherent afterwards. There haven’t been many of those over the years.”

“Wow. I definitely don’t see that.”

“And that’s the problem, really. I’ve never heard of something like that happening before. I don’t know what it means, or why you can, or anything! All I know is that something is very, very different, and very, very wrong, otherwise that thing wouldn’t have been after us. And right now, I don’t know if what’s wrong is you, or me, or both of us. But we need to find out if we’re going to not be looking over our shoulders for...what did you call it again?”

Grace laughed. A genuine laugh, not weighed down by worry or terror. “A glowing, walking catfish?”

“Ha ha, yeah, that got beaten too many times with the ugly stick!”

Grace sat up suddenly, nodding sharply to herself. “Alright, well, you’re either batshit crazy, or I owe my gran an apology.” Grace was still half chuckling, but looking very intent. 

“Your gran?”

“Yeah, she was super religious, always prayin’, talkin’ and singin’ about god. She must’ve gone to church three times a week! Boy, would she have loved to hear all this.”

“I’ll bet!”

“So, I just wanna make sure I’ve got all the stuff you said- angels are real, and something’s wrong with the fact that I can see your real eyes, and not like, the fires of the Big Bang or something, but you don’t know why that’s a problem or what caused it.. Right?”

“I’d say that about covers it for now, yeah.”

“Alright, I can live with that much for now. I’m clean tuckered out, and you look like you’re about to just fall over any second now. Whaddya say we call it a night?”

“Yeah.” I really could barely keep my eyes open at this point. I guess pretending my motorbike was a juggling pin kind of took it out of me.

Grace popped up, suddenly all business.

“So doesn’t look like this place has a big ol’ tub to dump you in, so we’ll have to settle for a couple of wet wipes. Here, help me get these blankets on to the mattress here. They’re gross, but it’s better than freezing to death.”

“You’re the boss!” Those wet wipes were a pocket-sized blessing, wrapped in foil paper. I’m more of a Chanel and gunpowder type, not so big on the earthy, barbecue scents.

I was starting to stumble a bit as we plopped the discarded blankets down as well as we could in the relative darkness of the loft.

“Probably better to stay dressed with how dirty these blankets are.” Grace frowned as she watched me struggle to pick up one of the heavier blankets a couple of times.

That didn’t even register until much later.

“OK, you, lay down. No more for you tonight. Sleep.”

I couldn’t even argue with her. I just curled up in a ball on the bed, barely aware of Grace pulling a couple of the blankets over me, but I thought I could just make out her arm resting on mine as we both drifted off into the heavy, dreamless sleep that comes when you’ve been pushed to your limits. At least, I kind of hope it was. 

=============================================

Story tag list

@random-with-garlic @a-dinosaurs-left-phgkneecap @flower-in-the-ashes @nixabee @luvnaught @pens-swords-stuff @alice-and-cheshire-cat @humans-are-seriously-weird @flying-f1shsticks @Neil-gaiman @glumshoe @lykanyouko @kaylewiswrites @just-a-bit-paranoid @thatsmybluefondue @Alice-and-Cheshire-cat @violet-galaxies @biggest-gaidiest-patronuses @midnight-spectrum-again @slytherinlovespuff @friendofcybermen @hemi528i @mirbisduschoen @khelladon @walkin-in-the-cosmos

As always, if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list, just shoot me a message and your wish is my command. 

[angrybell]

Things I have to get off my chest about Senator Kamala Harris (aka why no one should ever vote for her)

So you think Kampala Harris is a really great candidate for president. Really?

Was she a good DA? Her first elected office. Well, no, she was not. Her office somehow managed to get less convictions at trial than her predecessor (believe me, if you knew the sordid history of what her predecessor did to the office, it would amaze you). SF Weekly did a review of her office and reported that her prosecutors, “won a lower percentage of their felony jury trials than their counterparts at district attorneys’ offices covering the 10 largest cities in California[.]” Yeah, LA county was outperforming her, and their jury pool back then was a nightmare for prosecutors.

Was she an honest prosecutor? Nope. She was found to have hidden information about a crime lab technician which was discoverable under California law. This was information she was legally required to turn over to defense attorneys. This lead to 600 convictions being overturned and dismissed for prosecutorial misconduct.

Since this was SF, a bluer than blue city in a deep blue state, she received a promotion to Attorney General. Failure and abuse of power was rewarded.

As Attorney General, she directed her office to cover up prosecutorial misconduct. What does that mean I’m plain English? She protected prosecutors who falsified evidence.

This was not a one time thing either. Her prosecutors were cited for this multiple times. Just like when she was the SF DA.

In one case, the local DA added lines to the transcript of an alleged confession. Without them, there was no admission of guilt. Basically, they falsified the confession, so that the defendant would plead guilty. The only way it was caught was because the defense attorney fought for the tapes of the interrogation and got them. Now, the trial judge, when shown the evidence did the right thing: he dismissed the indictment completely.

Then-Attorney General Harris, who likes to portray herself as noble for not opposing the Prop 8 lawsuit, instructed her appellate prosecutors to take the issue up on appeal. She literally told them to defend lying and falsification of evidence.

This case was not the first time she’d had been caught defending a known lie to the courts. In a series of cases coming out of the Sierra Pacific/Moonlight fires, the investigators committed more outrageous misconduct. The state agency, CalFire (which handles wildfires in California) basically hid/destroyed evidence. And the Attorney General’s Office helped cover it up.

The conduct of the CA DOJ under Harris was so egregious, the Ninth Circuit was talking about making a referral for prosecution for perjury during the oral arguments in the Baca case.

In the Baca case, there was evidence that the prosecutor had actually suborned perjury. Harris’ appellate team tries to sweep it under the rug. Harris has her prosecutors fight tooth and nail to deny the appellate court access to transcript of hearing where the perjury came to light.

Did Harris’ DOJ prosecute these rogue DAs for their crimes? Nope. Did any of the appellate attorneys within her own office suffer any consequences? From what I’ve read, not a one has been disciplined in any fashion.

Clearly, she’s happy to tolerate and protect corruption. Is this what makes her a good choice give her your vote?

As Attorney General, she tried to force non-profit groups to release their donor lists. She was of the opinion that the government had the right to know the identity of everyone who donated to every group. Why? There’s no reason except for the purpose of harassment. Which is exactly what was happening as soon as the non-profits handed over their donor information. Witnesses at the trial testified to being harassed and intimidated because their private information was leaked.

Put another way, do you want Trump to have this power? No? Then you shouldn’t want Harris, or anyone else to have this power.

Fortunately, this program of Harris’ was stopped by the federal courts. And before you say “oh it was because a Republican judge”, the judge who enjoined the program was appointed by Lyndon B Johnson.

One of the reasons the judge ruled against Harris was because it was clear that the purpose of her program was not a proper one. Judge Real wrote, “As made abundantly clear during trial, the Attorney General has systematically failed to maintain the confidentiality of Schedule B forms.”

It was not an accident that the information was leaked. It was by design. She was blatantly using her power as AG to oppress people who disagreed with her.

And you want to reward her with your votes and give her more power? Do you think that she won’t turn on you if you end up disagreeing with her?

Think about that.

What has she done as Senator? Has she sought to find a way to broker compromise on issues where that is possible? If you look at her voting record, that’s not the case.

Has she gotten any legislation passed? She’s sponsored 76 bills, resolutions, and amendments to bills. She’s gotten the same bill passed twice. She’s gotten a couple of Senate resolutions thanking various groups for their service (my favorite was Buffalo soldier one).

So what’s the bill she’s gotten passed twice? It’s to outlaw lynching. Something I find hilarious because for more than a century, the Democrats blocked anti-lynching laws in Congress. Of course, the last lynching happened in 1981, so clearly it’s a pressing matter. In case your curious, it was a unanimous vote.

Is this a demonstration of her political skill? Not really. Being opposed to lynching in politics is as controversial as being in favor the sun rising in the East.

Being a politician means more than just winning elections in a state that is so in your favor, with a party machine that picks its people according to the wishes of the party leaders (and she clearly has thei favor). It means getting things done. So far, she’s done nothing. She’s built no alliances. She’s moved no bills through Congress.

She hasn’t even gotten a post office named and Bernie Sanders has been able to do that at least once.

What is she good at? She’s good at getting media attention and showing up to celebrate hard fought victories achieved by other people. The scene of her showing up in The Case Against 8 is one of the most disgusting displays of political opportunism I’ve seen in recent years. They fought the case. They went through it all. And she swooped in for a fucking photo op after doing nothing but making sure their victory was incomplete.

She’s not a good politician. She a good media whore.

Is that what you want in the next person to take the oath as the next President of the United States?

Where do you stand on your civil liberties? She’s anti-2nd Amendment, which I realize is a plus for people who are inclined to vote Democrat. What should trouble you is that she is also opposed to the 1st Amendment’s freedom of speech guarantee. How do we know this? She has called for Supreme Court Justices to be conformed who would overturn Citizens United.

Now, I realize that the propaganda is that Citizens United allowed “bad” money into elections, but that’s not true. the holding of the case deals with the power of the government to restrain free speech. The case is about a small group of people, who formed a corporation, to speak out on certain topics. One of those was to oppose Hillary Clinton and her proposed policies. If SCOTUS has ruled the other way, the ability of people to get their voices heard would be subject to government restraint. Or to put it in clearer terms: censorship. It would ensure only the wealthy would have a say in elections (who else has enough money to self fund a protest movie? Or ad?)

Think it would only restrain groups like Citizens United (you know, the evil right wing ones)? Nope. It would also apply to unions, the Sierra Club, and all the other “good” groups.

She has some other troubling positions that implicate the 4th Amendment. She is in favor of law enforcement doing a DNA dragnet through commercial DNA testing services, looking for familial DNA to develop leads on cases. I don’t know about you, but giving the federal government free reign to develop a DNA database is troubling.

Senator Harris is also proponent of civil asset forfeiture. As much as detested the Obama Administration, at least they were trying to make it harder to do. She is so much of a fan, she tried to make easier for the government to forfeit your property. Now, if you don’t know what civil asset forefeiture is, you’re not alone. In my experience, it’s one of the least understood things that the government does by lay people.

Essentially, civil asset forfeiture (“CAF”) is a law that allows the government to seize the assets of criminals. Sounds harmless right? Well, it’s an easy power to abuse. Under CAF rules she was supporting, the state would be able to forfeit the property if there was a “substantial probability” that it was obtained by criminal acts. Now, that sounds good but it’s really a lower standard. Remember, to be convicted of a crime, you have to be convicted only if there is proof beyond a reasonable doubt. To make it worse, the presumption works against the person who has lost their property to the state asset seizure. You have to prove the negative. Prosecutors love this, because they almost always win (I do have the dubious honor of having lost one of these cases as a prosecutor).

So what does all this tell you? Senator Harris has a history of abusing power, violating the law, and protecting government corruption. If that’s how you like your candidates, then she a perfect choice. If you care about someone who will not intentionall violate the law, use the government to harass and intimidate her opposition, or be effective at upholding the law and constitution, find someone else.

Please stop rewarding her track record of failure and abuse of power!

[galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships]

Please help me get my dad back. Walker County Sheriff's department is illegally holding my dad for a 'crime' they have no evidence of. On May 5th my dad, a Clarke County resident, was picked up by the Walker County Sheriff's dept. The Clarke County jail claims he was never even booked into their jail which means Walker broke protocol. Walker County is basing jurisdiction on the fact he maintains a bank account in Walker even though the account states his home address is In Clarke and he has not lived in Walker for two years. The listed 'crime' is second degree theft but the fact of the matter is my dad runs an engineering and repair service for radio station equipment. A man in Maryland shipped him a transmitter module that he claimed needed repairs all the while quite literaly bragging about the last repair company he had ripped off for repairs. As such my dad told him that it would put him on a payment first basis which the man agreed to. He also agreed to the mechanic's lein that was to be included in case he did not pay within 90 days after the repairs were completed. Once the repairs were completed however and payment was due he refused to pay and threatened to list it as stolen if it was not shipped back for free and the $53 shipping was to be out of my dad's pocket. The man did list it as stolen but Clarke County would not act on the warrant since the module had been shipped to my dad and the repairs had been done. Meanwhile, as all of this was going on someone (one of our admins) on the Walker County Area News page (a Facebook news page) posted a video of Sheriff Underwood (Walker County Sheriff) making contradictory statements about what he did or did not know about how to do his job. The first half was from last election where he said he knew all about how to do his job and the second half was right after the Great Peanut Butter Escape of 2017 (you can really just google that phrase and find it) where he claimed he knew nothing of how the jail was run and it was all up to the duputies on how it operated in a day to day basis. It should be noted that it is now election season again for the next Sheriff. My dad is the known main administrator of the news page given he is a former Walker county resident but there are others. He is also well known as the main operator and engineer for my LPFM radio station WQJJ. On May 1st my younger sister caught two men in our garage in our locked radio room. They had broken into the room, turned off our transmitter (a federal crime), and when she confronted them did not identify themselves as law enforcement of any sort. They were wearing black polo shirts and the only way she knew they were law enforcement was because one of the shirts had a small emblem embroidered onto it. They approached her and immediately started asking questions and asking if they could search the house. They did not produce a warrant despite being asked and deflected any questions such as who they were, what they were there for, and how long they had been in our garage. We contacted dispatch and dispatch said they had sent no one over. The pictures of the unmarked vehicles they arrived in garnered some attention on the news page and people were quick to point out the lights in the grill. Not long after, the Sheriff's department posted our house address on Facebook and claimed we had made the story up and they were looking for our dad and they had a warrant but felt that producing it to my sister might let him know they were looking for him. Of course they dragged in the 'well if you have nothing to hide' tactic that is a blatant manipulation in an attempt to get someone to waive away their Fourth Amendment Right on their own and started asking people to come in and file more warrants on him. 'If you have any complaints against him come on in and file them or post them in the comments.' Despite not being able to produce a warrant because they were 'scared it might tip him off' they were very public about the ongoing 'case' on their page. They arrested him on the 5th when a tip came in from someone that he was a Clarke County resident. They went down to Clarke County late at night and raided the home he was staying in and arrested one of his friends as well for putting up a fight when a bunch of officers came barreling in the door as they were sleeping. They seized all of his electronics and the module in question but somehow all of the 'evidence' (the module is the only real evidence but the electronics too) was left behind in the custody of a Clarke County investigator who has family/friend ties in Walker while my dad was transported up to Walker County and booked into the jail. Since then an investigator has harassed family members in the South end of the state and another investigator has contacted all of our advertisers and advised them to not do business with us. All of our advertisers have fled. None will pay and it has effectively killed our business as we have now been off the air for nearly the entire month of May. We have been sitting without power the entire time because we were unable to pay our bill due to this and for some reason less than two days after our power was cut our account was pennied out and the money needed to pay to get the power back on more than tripled. Dad meanwhile still sits in the jail even though there is no evidence and the Clarke County Sheriff has since relieved the Clarke county investigator of the electronics and equipment that had been seized. The electronics were returned to dad's business partner down in Clarke county but the module remains in custody with the Sheriff down there and the reason the he gives is for 'safe keeping because I know it wasn't stolen.' My dad went to a bail hearing on May the 7th and bail was set at an astounding and upayable $25,000 cash only bond with an ankle monitor should he manage to make bail. Which we have been notified by several bond agencies that it is an incredibly high bond given the charge. I have contacted SBI who at first told me they need to be invited to look into this and then on a separate occasion said that now that he has had a bail hearing they can't touch this even though it is a blatant abuse of the law. Since he is seemingly stuck there until his court date on June 27th we attempted to find him an attorney. I have contacted three who claim to do pro bono work and indeed they sound interested- up until they hear the name of the man they would be trying to free. Immediately after they hear his name they back out. As such we seem to be stuck with the public defender who we have been warned by many will accept the guilty plea for his client without consulting them and whether they are in the court or not. We have also been warned that the judge who will be presiding over this is aware of this and allows it. The public defender has only contacted my dad once despite numerous attempts on behalf his behalf and by dad himself. The one form of contact was a letter sent detailing to him what will happen after he accepts the guilty plea. My dad does not wish to plead guilty given that he did not actually commit a crime. Now I may need to be corrected on this but should his preliminary hearing be on the 7th of June given he has a right to demand a hearing within 30 days of his arrest? Overall aside from breaking and entering, a search and interrogation without a warrant or at least without providing one, leaving jurisdiction, unlawfully arresting a man and detaining him without evidence, setting an excessive seeming bail, breaking federal law by turning off a broadcasting transmitter, harrassing family and friends as well as clients, allowing an attorney to break the law by pleading guilty for his clients without their permission, and probably other laws they have broken. It should be said that dad has a bit of a habit of tipping off the authorities when he sees corruption. That's part of the reason he's in jail now. He'd been vocal about the number of African American and Hispanic arrests versus white in the past as well as the number of hangings (all listed as suicides and we're up to 5 already since January). He also made several pointed comments about where the taxpayers' money is going if the department is still always asking for more to be donated. He's always been vocal about calling this sort of stuff out and has always deemed it his right and his duty as an American citizen. It has never served him well. Quite the opposite really. In fact, one of the comments on the donations site by a 'Linda Smith' is from a former landlord he caught peeking into my sister's window at night. I also feel the need to apologize for the tone of his donations page. He wrote it shortly before being arrested and he was not happy at all about any of this which is understandable. The lawyer he mentions on the page has since then backed away from this entire thing. Everything aside we have managed to find one new lawyer who will touch this who is not the public defender but she requires a $2,500 retainer fee to start on anything and we can't even afford that at the moment. Any donations would be extremely appreciated. Please someone help me get my dad back! https://gogetfunding.com/radio-station-manager-falsely-accused-of-theft-prosecuted-by-most-corrupt-county-in-america-which-doesnt-even-have-jurisdiction/

[mineofilms]

The 3As of The Delusional Mind

I have been thinking about writing this BLOG for a while now. It took me a little bit of time to really sort my thoughts out on this subject, as one could see some of the things I will say here, EVERYWHERE… Especially on the INTERNET and that is how this all came to be…

As I usually do, I am crawling down the YouTube Rabbit Hole and I stumble upon this video, “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” from YouTuber - Super Eyepatch Wolf. The video is about 30-minutes and in most cases I would not sit through a video of this length on this subject for more than a few minutes. However, after a few minutes I was hooked on what Wolf was presenting here. With 1.22 million subscribers I felt like this cat knew what he was talking about. The video has 6,577,655 views and was uploaded on February 1st, 2020. It has 241,000 Likes over 4,100 dislikes at the time I started writing this blog. So, yeah, all the stats are there to show this video would be something I may get something out of and I did. In a lot of ways it isn’t much different than how I attack subjects.

Now the video is about “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” but that is only the label, the thing that is being discussed; the example. This video is really about:

Delusional people…

Their Delusional Behavior…

How they are able to convince people the delusion is real…

How SINISTER it really can be…

The format is just describing how this is associated to Fake Martial Arts People. If you all have the time to spare, the video is a must watch. It connects a lot of dots about how batshit crazy people can be and we allow them to be that way. We basically give them a pass to behave this way. I have never believed this is acceptable. We have become such a society full of pussies that many times people’s insane/delusional behavior gets a free pass. So, let us dig into the 3A's of the delusional mind:

Acceptance…Attention…Appreciation.

Delusional people require these “3As” from ALL people, ALL the time and now our society is becoming like this. We do not usually associated the 3As to people like this. We use buzz words like, “Attention Whore,” a “One Upper” or“Drama Queen.” We’ll use other medical terms like ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) to describe this sort of behavior, but rarely will we refer to these people openly as delusional. If you watch a lot of YouTube of people acting crazy and/or senseless out of the blue with little cause to generate that effect then you might label people “delusional” more often…

Most people know someone like this, either in life or on social media; especially social media. Hell, a lot of the end fighting on social media these days is usually a direct result of a delusional person saying some crazy-outlandish-shit to post; or comment on a post that triggered someone. They posted and/or commented with the intent to trigger… Not just, so it happens to be something triggerable. No, they want you pissed off or feeling insecure.

You do not dare call out delusional person on social media for being delusional. They will troll you and break every single word down to try to find some sort of witty angle that they can come at you with to show you are wrong about them. They will continue to harass you until you give them an acceptable reply, ala Acceptance, Attention, Appreciation. AKA you buy into their delusional fantasy. If people didn’t give these people a free pass back in the day or even now, before they could hide behind the INTERNET, perhaps we would have less sinister delusional people out there.

“There is no delusional idea held by the mentally ill which cannot be exceeded in its absurdity by the conviction of fanatics, either individually or en masse” ~Hoche

“Absurdity by conviction,” to me, defines the delusional. Talk to a few conspiracy theory people about what they believe in. They are completely convinced what they believe is real. It is their conviction about it that is scary as it defies logic, common sense and most of the time real-actual-facts about said subject.

In pretty much every blog I write and the concept of “facts” comes into play I tend to explain it the same way. You cannot base real theories on Pseudo-Science, where is,“Pseudo,” literally means, “not genuine; spurious or sham.” AKA not real…

A fact, by definition, is a theory… A theory is (an unproven fact, and educated guess without verified testing), that is later tested to be NOT FALSE.

That is what a FACT is. I use the basic 1+1=2 analogy. Theory… 1 of something + 1 of something, = 2 of something.

Go and test that theory in all the ways you can ADD a 1 of something to another 1 of something, the answer is?

Well, in this case its easy math. So say we test it 10,000 times. In 10,000 tests of different varieties we get the same answer, 2.

By that process, the scientific method, this theory is now a FACT. Here is the Wikipedia entry for a FACT...

Granted, as more complicated theories come forth more complex testing, variables, more complicated mathematics, and such come into the equation. So it isn’t always this simple. It’s almost always never this simple…

Acceptance – (Psychology) - a favorable attitude toward an idea, situation, person, or group . After reading this textbook definition of acceptance I have a sour feeling Cancel Culture will take these few words and expand on it to a point that there will be this textbook of psychology and a second one just for this word. It is the very feeling/emotion about this that is the problem. If everyone sees reality differently and unique to them, which is true, just not on a perceivable level, then why do people feel they need more acceptance than has been given to them?

I was, for a lot of years, on the outside of a particular bubble, while heavily inside others, or passively in others. I never wanted/needed more from the ones I was passive and heavily entrenched with. However, I always felt like I needed more from the bubble that I was on the outside of. After a time, I stopped caring and treated all bubbles the same, which was confusing at first for my peers, family, friends, girlfriends; girlfriends especially… It went against what most of us were taught about how we treat situations like this.

As I have gotten older I do not feel I need/want anything from any of the bubbles I currently perceive. I do not mean that literally as much as it sounds, but that longing to be part of the bubble I was outside of, yeah, that, isn’t there anymore. I believe, it started when I was young and it took this many years/time for the result to happen, nearly a lifetime or at least, a very large portion of one.

The delusional ones, go in the extreme opposite direction. The older they get, the needier they get. If a person is fixated on you, for whatever reason, it is hard to convince them otherwise.

Subtle, usually doesn’t work very well.

Remember, these people are seeing you in a completely different light than how you see it. It’s so radically different it is that difference that makes one uncomfortable, “creeped-out.” They want you to accept them, they are desperate for you to accept them. That is what makes it scary. You do not know the exact extent of their delusion or delusional state and why they are so heavily convicted with this power of belief that seems to leave you stupefied.

“The analogy I like is this; imagine being able to see the world, but you are deaf, and then suddenly someone gives you the ability to hear things as well, you get an extra dimension of perception. We must remember that we do not observe nature as it actually exists, but nature exposed to our methods of perception. The theories determine what we can or cannot observe... Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one. It is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware. The belief in an external world independent of the perceiving subject is the basis of all natural science. Since, however, sense perception only gives information of this external world or of "physical reality" indirectly, we can only grasp the latter by speculative means. It follows from this that our notions of physical reality can never be final. We must always be ready to change these notions - that is to say - the axiomatic basis of physics - in order to do justice to perceived facts in the most perfect way.” ~Albert Einstein

Attention – (Psychology) - The concentration of awareness on some phenomenon to the exclusion of other stimuli. Attention is awareness of the here and now in a focal and perceptive way. If you have ever dealt with a delusional person on a regular basis you will notice trying to talk about details from the past, be it a story they told you or things in their life, they always seem to never either remember it clearly or they really work hard to change the subject of the conversation. It is all about here and now with them. Its always onto the next manipulation. The next con… The next delusion…

It is about; look at them, fixate on them, pay attention to them,now… Not yesterday or tomorrow, past and future, but “here and now in a focal and perceptive way.” It could be they have to be up in your personal space all the time, you must text them before you go to bed or go to work. It is always attention on them and what they are doing… All the things that you do for yourself must be in direct relation to their self-serving nature.

You must comply with their delusion…

Appreciation – Since in textbook form, appreciation does not have a specific definition in relation to psychology; the word is used many times to describe a person’s emotional state indirectly over directly like the other 2As… However, appreciation is still defined as; “Acknowledging the value and meaning of something—an event, a person, a behavior, an object—and feeling a positive emotional connection to it.”

To “try” and put this in some sort of every day context; the celebrity Instagram posts that are about, being humble and their dreams coming true because of all our support as followers and/or fans, feels like an effort to get people fixated on a person’s accomplishments. The constant political and social takes “some” in the celebrity community takes is always shifting the focus one what “they” are “doing” for “others,” but they do not want to take credit for it but its all over social media. Their face is everywhere…

More self-serving feelings.

In the video, “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” all the delusional people being profiled are people in their respective world’s, the leader of their mini cult of followers. The Master, the sensei, your boss, your best friend; perhaps a girlfriend/boyfriend. All people at that could be considered the head of the table; when it comes to people you are surrounded by.

What do we know about people that are in positions of power?

They always seek appreciation for what they do and more specifically what they do for you… You ever borrow some money from a friend? Not a lot of money but a little bit. Even after you pay the friend back. They never let you forget that you asked them for help and that they were the one that helped out. Not someone else, but them. It was them; they want you to know that and never forget about it. They turn around and use that against you too. Anytime they need something, which now, all the sudden, seems like it is more often now since you asked for help from them.

And this is where we come to; “How they are able to convince people the delusion is real…” And… “How SINISTER it really is…”

Predators come in all forms. At a young age we put the face of a monster on the face of the human predator that stalks us. To a child, the human predator is a monster. Sometimes, how the ignorance of a childlike mind can be the most honest thing in the Universe.

In the caveman days all you had to do was overpower the one you wanted to prey on and the fear would cripple them into submission. As the centuries came and gone people got smarter, able to think for themselves under distress and problem solve. That didn’t eliminate strength, power and aggression, but it could no longer 100% of the time work all the time. We invent martial arts and self-defense in general. We invent knives, mace, tasers and guns. Things change. The predator also got smarter. They figured out what a lie can do and if they can make a lie passable as a truth they could use that to manipulate their prey.

However, this technique has a fatal flaw… It only works on the weak-minded. It isn’t that all predators out there are master manipulators. Some are, sure, but you cannot manipulate someone who doesn’t take what you have to say as 100% truth and delusional people require that you do. If you do not believe them or in them then this trick won’t work well. It might for small things here and there, but it won’t work indefinitely.

I have straight up destroyed life-long friendships with former friends; because they were delusional people, and I couldn’t buy into their bullshit anymore. As a friend, a real friend, one tends to stand by their friend, especially when they get heat on them. However, I, personally, have never been a very self-serving personality. I mean this in; I do not do whole lot for others just because or just because they asked, begged, whatever. It isn’t in me to be that way, naturally.

I do things for the people I care about that I know care about me, and if I am not sold at that level, you are not going to sell me on it. So, I have always have one foot in and one foot out with those types of friends. There were a few instances where time got in the way and I couldn’t get rid of said friend till the timing was right. Mentally though; I had checked out as being someone they could manipulate on a reliable basis. Delusional people require you to believe in them and if you do not they have very little mental power over you. These are the few instances that they may leave you be as they only want the 3As from people they can sell the delusion to. If you do not believe them, in them and in their delusion. You do not have with which what they seek most.

Time can, and will, get in the way of critical, logical, thinking…

The prey of the delusional tend to be people that are a little down about their status in life. Be it depression, be it a weight thing, a popularity thing, whatever it might be. They do not feel ACCEPTED and they want to belong. The prey usually are people/kids who lack either/or/both the confidence and the knowledge to really decide for themselves if what this person is, is real or not. They want to believe so badly. They want to believe because they themselves have been convince by the delusional that without their help they will not be able to overcome…

This is exactly how I was trained to be a salesman in the fitness industry. I trained to be personal trainer, because I wanted to help people get through these rough patches in their fitness goals. As I once had people around me to get me where I had been at my pinnacle. Was I out to make a million dollars? No… I knew I was taking about a 50% pay cut going into fitness over doing what I was already doing. What I was already doing, I hated.

I felt so deflated every day…

Drive an hour to work. Work for about 40% less than the industry standard but does double, triple the work for 8-10 hours in an industry full of self-serving personalities that were all about 3As, all the time, as customers. Drive an hour home. Try to squeeze in my own gym time which ended up becoming obsessed about. Basically it was the only time/thing I did that genuinely made me happy and happy about myself. I wound up doing nearly 3 hour workouts, because I was so miserable with my current job. That was how I got involved in the fitness industry.

Flash-forward and all the gyms’ taught me to be was a delusional piece of shit. How to learn about people’s weaknesses and use that to convince them that they cannot achieve their fitness goals unless they sign up with my “personalized training / diet package.” It should be noted we were not allowed to technically teach them anything about diet. Actually that would have been counterproductive to get them to sign back up after their 6 weeks was done, with only moderate gains. Where we are taught to shift blame to them. As we cannot control what they do, eat, after they leave the gym. Hence why, even if qualified to, not to get overly suggestive with dieting.

Anyone that does fitness as a lifestyle knows what you put in your body, when, is far more important than what routine you do and how often you attack your body physically in fitness. Diet, Rest, Exercise is what most Doctors tend to say. Notice the word Diet frequently comes first and not because D is before E or R…

So the fitness industry is part of a mass-delusion. I have written about fitness in the past, a lot, and about how the industry is a hideous fashion show of itself. Just go on Instagram for a few minutes under a few fitness related hashtags, you’ll see. I was heavily involved in training all sorts of people and selling products, both in person and over the INTERNET. I was more than happy when I finally said, FUCK YOU, to the Industry. I lift now, only because it still gets me like it did the first time I lifted as a kid.

I was fooled about the fitness industry, because delusional people tried to get me to buy into this mass-delusion. I did what they said, but I never believed in it. Ultimately; that was what freed me from this going next level and actually changing me. Changing me to become the predator.

I wanted none of that.

I went back to jobs that made me miserable over losing my humanity. So when I talk about the 3As like this I do feel like I have some perspective here about how delusional minds work. My professional life, my personal life, even in my dating life.

It’s everywhere… People want to belong… People want to feel accepted…

When they don’t most of their life and someone comes along, makes a lot of huge claims on how they can make their life better that is the person a delusional predator wants to consume. You see all these older women being Catfished by people overseas for money and its all the same. The woman is lonely… She doesn’t feel good about herself. What does it say about her confidence if she is willing to let it all out on the line with a complete stranger she cannot see, really talk to or interact with? All she literally sees are texts on a screen. It is her fantasy and delusion that makes her believe that this could be real. There are plenty of signs in the internet dating world to tell if a person is real or not. If their intentions have any credibility to them. It isn’t that much different than the real world.

People behave like people.

If a person really cares about you they will do things to show that. Not just words on a screen, empty promises, but people will believe in what they want to believe. Even if you have proof, facts and other compelling data the person won’t believe you. That is how serious they hold onto these delusions.

Do not allow a delusion personality corrupt your mind. They will poison you, turn your reality upside down with a whole lot of nonsensical logic that they demand you to accept at face value without question. If you see this and are not 100% confident in yourself find someone who is to deal with that. You cannot convince them they are wrong. Only someone 100% not a believer in this specific delusion is able to defeat the delusion.

Sometimes KARMA comes when you least expect…

One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought. ~Albert Einstein

The 3As of The Delusional Mind by David-Angelo Mineo 9/29/2021 3,604 Words

[fantasyrat]

So... doing this again? Eh, Why not?

So, yesterday I came on Tumblr in the hopes of finding some art to help build a fan forum (currently obsessing over the ADoriBull ship and well as Love Nikki Dress Up Queen) I’m working on when I notice two replies to an old reply I did last year. Well, I tend to feel obliged to thank them and thought little else of it. Then the I noticed in my feed that OP, winterywitch, decided to throw a tantrum when it’s been weeks... months even since our exchange. So it left me a bit bewildered. So, being my curious self, I looked into it and decided to respond and maybe even do a bit of a mental analysis. First thing I saw was this.

Oooh my... The lack of self-awareness is strong here. So, I go a bit further and wouldn’t you know it, this apparently got them in such a tizzy she had to rant about it.... but not actually reply to what was said even though she writes as if they’re arguing with someone else. Curious... For a bit of convenience sake, I took the liberty of taking a screenshot, highlighting and numbering certain bits of her rant. Not all. The rest I will address in quotes.

So, to start, we’ll so by the numbers.

(1) - If you took the time to look at my original response I never claimed to be an anti-sjw. I was simply pointing out the issues with the community and the blatant hypocrisy the willfully chose to ignore. And this image you have of me frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog is just silly plain silly as one can see by my original response. I can admit it was a while ago and I have learned more about choosing my words more carefully. Be that as it may, this image you have in your head of me being some primal beast with no thought save destroy the enemy is completely ludicrous. 

(2) - So, you are admitting you are a troll then? If that’s so, why do immediately contradict yourself with number 3?

(3) - And that is your opinion if that’s what you truly believe. However, terminology is not evidence of one's mindset, principles, and beliefs. There are people whom I have personally known who are wise, kind and intelligent individuals but they have difficulty in eloquence. And now I ask for evidence. Where are the anti-sjw trying to pass laws to silence those like yourself? If you’re speaking purely of people on the internet mocking you then, I’m sorry, but they have the right to do so and you have a right not to listen and to choose to be happy despite what others say.Meanwhile, Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn go to the UN on this matter claiming that random comment like ‘You're a liar’ ‘You suck’ and harassment and the basis for censorship. And if a bill got passed for such things, the line would be blurred. And that can lead to serious issues. That’s why people are pushing back because they know once that line is drawn than the 1st amendment is doomed.Now, being fair, you’ve probably not been hearing this from more reasonable sources who have the same knee-jerk reaction that you’ve shown time and time again to have. However, I highly recommend getting out of Tumblr or Twitter. It’s not a reliable source of information. Try opening your mind a bit and go a bit of research on the history of the first amendment.If not for the 1st, Thomas Paine would never have been able to write The Age of Reason or Frederick Douglass The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave. These are only two of many books that helped shape the nation and it’s thanks to the 1st Amendment.So when we see people complaining about the use of some word and trying to ban it, people rally around to nip it in the bud before the problem gets worse. I personally don’t care what you say, you have the freedom to say it and I would defend your freedom though I disagree. But when people are actively trying to turn those opinion into law, it needs to be stopped before it gets worse.

(4) - Minor note; using a cliche allegory doesn’t help your argument. I’d highly recommend avoiding it in the future. This is not malicious. This is simply advice from one human being to another.Now, to the quotes because... oh boy...

even now, you're interpreting me picking apart your sources as some kind of horrific oppression and as sjw buzzword-filled rants, but that's because you don't see "sjws" as people, you see them as an object to use in some epic pwn fantasy to get attention online

*sigh* What you’re saying, what you’re feeling right now is called projection. It’s not I seeing you as inhuman, but you see me as an inhuman monster. Therefore, since in your mind I’m not human, I’ve fair game for you to be wicked, cruel and vile to by hurling insults because let’s face it. It’s easier not to see the humanity of another person behind a computer monitor. Try taking a deep breath and reread your rant. All you’ve done is exactly what you accuse me of. Assume I’m doing this for internet fame... How would that even work exactly? I’ve no interest in it. also it's been two entire real-life years, you need to grow up and let go of this online oppression fantasy. Let me repeat what I said earlier: ‘So, yesterday I came on Tumblr in the hopes of finding some art to help build a fan forum (currently obsessing over the ADoriBull ship and well as Love Nikki Dress Up Queen) I’m working on when I notice two replies to an old reply I did last year. Well, I tend to feel obliged to thank them and thought little else of it.’ I don’t have many posts on my Tumblr, so when I return, I see old ones and sometimes they have new developments. I responded to them, not you. If anyone needs to grow up it’s you. You were barely a footnote in my mind when I responded. And then that was it. But then you replied to my reply to them. Seems like you’re the obsessed one here. Now, I won’t bother to quote the entirety as it’s simply inane jibberish with horrid grammar and punctuation only a toddler would spout in a hissy fit and that is far beneath me, and anyone wants to read it, it’s there above. However, I will point to one thing.

someone used their free speech to criticize your flawed argument Funny that... that you didn’t reply to another who I thanked for their generosity.

You see, I’m normally a very reasonable lady. But it’s hard to be reasonable when someone is so unreasonable. You promote critical thinking, but don’t dare apply it to yourself. So, I’m doing you a favor. After looking at the things you’ve written and said, and if your age on your page is correct, you may want to seek some help. If you have already, get a second opinion. I’m not an expert by any means, but I have noticed some patterns that could possibly be symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder Here’s a link to more information: https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/histrionic-personality-disorder Now I’m not saying you have this, but as one human being to another, I’d advise you to look into it.

[seigyokus]

6.1 - A Brutal Room

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 6.1 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Ogami Banri: Yuki and Momo-kun, huh? Nikaidou Yamato: Yeah. They've been doing a lot for me....... Nikaidou Yamato: I was really cheeky towards them, but....... But now, I can't thank them enough-- words won't cut it. Ogami Banri: Haha. I see. I get happy whenever you guys praise those two-- as if I'm the one getting praised. Nanase Riku: Both members of Re:vale are really good people. Have they always been that way? Ogami Banri: No, uh....... Momo-kun's always been a good kid, but Yuki's personality has mellowed out quite a bit. Nikaidou Yamato: You call that mellow? Izumi Mitsuki: Your inner thoughts slipped out just now, old geezer. Ogami Banri: He used to be really quiet and was pretty presumptuous. He wouldn't even try to establish interpersonal relationships with anyone. Yuki was a real troublemaker back then. His face was his only redeeming point. Izumi Iori: Ogami-san, you really aren't holding back. Ogami Banri: All of his enemies religiously hated his guts. That's the kind of guy he was. He's always been stoic when it comes to music, though. Yotsuba Tamaki: I wanna hear one of Ban-chan and Yukirin's songs. One where you guys are singing together. Osaka Sougo: I am interested as well. Would it be possible to listen to one of those songs? Ogami Banri: Ah..... Yeah, sure. It's a little embarrassing, but I'll bring one of our CDs over next time. Izumi Mitsuki: Yay! I can't wait to hear! Nanase Riku: Yeah, Banri-san's really cool! It's such a waste that you work behind the scenes! Ogami Banri: ....... Ogami Banri: So I'm not very dependable in the office, then? Nanase Riku: Huh!? No, that's not what I mean! Rokuya Nagi: Why did you come to Takanashi Productions, Banri? And why did you decide to become an office worker, of all things? Ogami Banri: Because I reached my goal, I guess? Nanase Riku: Goal? Takanashi Tsumugi: It's almost time to go to the next location, everyone. Nanase Riku: Okay! Well, we'll be on our way now! Please let us listen to it when we get back! Ogami Banri: Alright. Have a safe trip! Izumi Mitsuki: I'm glad you're back, Manager! Rokuya Nagi: Yes! I feel energized after seeing our Manager's adorable smile! Izumi Iori: The sun is awfully bright.... It's summertime already, I see. Our 1st Anniversary Tour is going to start soon.

Okazaki Rinto: Good morning! Please take good care of Re:vale today! Hmm......? Staff: ......I peeked into Re:vale's dressing room just now, and it was super tense in there. I guess all those rumors about how they don't get along are true....... Staff: It felt like they were gonna start fighting each other to the death in there.... Okazaki Rinto: Huh!? That tense!? I wonder what happened to those two....... *click* Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun, Momo-kun, don't fight! Momo: ......We weren't fighting. Yuki: ......We weren't fighting at all. Okazaki Rinto: Alright, you guys were definitely fighting. I can tell just from the atmosphere in here, you know. So are you guys fighting about today? Momo: Sorry, sorry. It's nothing big! Yuki's really gentle, that's why. He was just worried about me! Momo: But then he was like, 'There's a certain limit to things'....... Yuki: You don't like that I went to meet Tsukumo. Momo: What I'm mad about is the way you went about it! Remember what you said to me when I tried to stop you from going? Yuki: I don't remember. Momo: You told me that if I didn't let you go see him, then you were gonna disband Re:vale! I can't believe you said something like that so easily! Yuki: I've tried to stop you before and if anything, you're the one who never listens, Momo. Do you remember what you said to me? Momo: I think it was, 'I don't know what Ryou-san's gonna do to you, it's dangerous......' Yuki: Not that. You told me that he was good at mental attacks, and because I have a lot of trauma, he was definitely going to send me home in tears. That's what you said to me. Yuki: You took me for a fool. Momo: I didn't! I was just worried about you, Yuki! And despite all of that, you threatened to disband......! Yuki: I figured you wouldn't listen to me unless I said that. I mean, I'd lose if it turned into a fistfight. But that's just how much I didn't want you to go-- Momo: Just hit me with your car next time!! That would've been better! Momo: After you said 'disband,' my legs froze-- I couldn't even move an inch. It was like I subconsciously trying to protect myself from danger, even though I was really worried about you....... I don't want to feel that miserable ever again! Yuki: Well, that's on you, not me. Momo: ....... Okarin, can you hit me with a tranquilizer dart real quick? Before the most bizarre incident to even happen in entertainment history goes down here? (1) Okazaki Rinto: I'm afraid I can't do that. I don't have a hunting license. Yuki: You wouldn't be able to do it anyways, Momo. Just to set things straight, I'm the one who's pissed here. Not you. Yuki: I can't believe you put up with that psycho. To think that I had believed you out of the goodness of my heart when you told me he wasn't really a bad person.... I could weep right now. Yuki: Listen. Don't ever try to fool me, ever again. Momo: We've talked about this before. We decided that you'd handle Hoshikage while I'd handle Tsukumo, and make sure things were going smoothly with them. Didn't we decide that together? Momo: We've just been doing our respective jobs, that's all. All this talk about whether or not I fooled you is coming from a completely different dimension. If anything, don't get in my way, ever again. Yuki: ....... Okarin, bring me tequila right this instant. I might go mad if I continue this conversation sober. Okazaki Rinto: I'm afraid I can't do that. You both have to work soon. Yuki: Did you really think you could control him by yourself? Momo: Ryou-san's really fickle and only wants to do things for his own enjoyment. Once he finds another thing to play around with, he'll give up on whatever he's currently doing. Momo: If you throw his plans off trajectory, then the next step would be to suck up to him.... Or at least that's what should've happened. You made Ryou-san mad, didn't you? Yuki: How did you know? Momo: He sent me angry stamps and disentanglement puzzle stamps for five whole hours, alternating between the two. What the heck is a disentanglement puzzle anyways? Yuki: Who knows? I haven't got a clue. Momo: Anyways, we gotta butter him up, get back into his good graces, and carefully steer him back on course.... I'll go apologize to him this weekend-- Yuki: What? Apologize? What was the point of me visiting him then? Momo: That's what I wanna know! Yuki: ......Why must you act like an animal incapable of comprehending human speech? Is this some kind of harassment? Momo: What do you mean by animal!? Also, why would I be harassing you in the first place? Yuki: Because I let Ban listen to the demo before you. Didn't I apologize for that already? Momo: ....... Yuki: ....... Is this the first time I've brought it up......? Momo: ......It is, and I'm shocked. But....... I'm more shocked that you'd think I'd harass you over something like that!! Yuki: I didn't think you would. It's all because you keep saying unreasonable things, Momo! Okazaki Rinto: Stop, stop! Stop right there. Okazaki Rinto: Yuki, you crossed the line by threatening to disband. You too, Momo. You also told me that Ryou-san was a good person too. Okazaki Rinto: That's why I've let it slide every time he made fun of how my hair is parted 7:3....... Please refrain from interacting with bad people. (2) Momo: But if I did that, then he'll only keep getting worse. Ryou-san's gonna be company president after this. Yuki: See, Okarin? Momo's being unreasonable. Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun....... Yuki: Do as you like. There's no point in saying anything. Okazaki Rinto: You don't have to put it that way.... Yuki: I would never stoop so low as to flatter someone I could barely stomach, just to maintain my position in the industry. And I'm sure Ban wouldn't either. (3) Momo: ....... You said that on purpose just now, didn't you. Yuki: I did. I wanted to believe you were the same, Momo. But I guess I was just forcing my ideals onto you. Yuki: Go ahead, wag your tail and suck up to him. Bet it feels great to sit on that big, fluffy ol' throne you've set out for me. Yuki: Except I won't be anywhere near that. Momo: ....... Staff: Re:vale, you're up next. ......Re:vale? Okazaki Rinto: Y-yes, of course. They'll be out in just a moment. Let's talk about this afterwards, alright? Yuki: There's nothing to talk about. Momo: Yeah...... Okazaki Rinto: I'll make sure you do! For now, concentrate on the work before you. Alright, go get 'em!

Mr. Shimooka: And now, the duo everyone's been waiting for! Re:vale! Audience: Kyaaaaa.....! Audience: Momo-chan! Yuki-san!

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

thank u kuri for proofreading!!!!!!

(1) technically said tranquilizer gun but i hear this more often so yea.  (2) here is a visual wrt the 7:3 hair part thing LOL  (3) 'in the industry' is assumed since that was the entire pretense of the whole ryou-momo deal (protect yuki's place in the entertainment industry while ryou tore down everyone else, in exchange for a recording of yamato confessing that he's chiba shizuo's bastard child). p sure that's what's being referenced here too.

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

[vxltrxn-imagines]

The Voltrons- Heathers AU- KeithxReader

(A/N: Hey guys! Mod Pidge here! I’m so happy to be beginning this project. Some notes before we begin.

Yes, some characters will be majorly OOC. I tried to fit people as best as I saw fit and possible with their personalities, but due to the fact this is an AU following Heathers: The Musical some characters will have to be OOC. One primary example of this is Shiro as Heather Chandler. I chose Shiro as Heather because of the fact he is a natural born leader and a lot of people look up to him. Due to this, he will be bitchier and sassier than regular Shiro. I am editing and changing lines not only to fit the AU, but to try to fit lines the best way to characters too.

Not every scene will happen the same way as the musical, I am still trying to make this my own story as well. As such and because of reasons also stated above, some characters will have different thoughts and ambitions than their musical counterparts. The overall theme will be the same but some lines will be different (don't worry, “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw” will be the same ;p)

As seen from the above note this is a MATURE SERIES. Heathers is a musical that deals with teen suicide, bullying, homophobia, gun violence, murder and a very mature scene featuring two characters having sex. While this is done in a comedic way throughout, it still isn’t meant for those who won’t be able to handle it.

I hope you all enjoy this series! If you have any questions or comments at any point feel free to send in any questions! I love getting asks <33

PS: Really sorry this first chapter took so long to write, given the fact that Beautiful is an 8 minute song it would naturally take longer to edit, plus I wanted to edit out the parts of her talking to the audience since it wouldn’t make sense in a story like this and had to find a way to replace those information moments. This first chapter alone is 9 pages in Google Docs)

Chapter 1- Beautiful (Y/N) sighed as she woke up. It was the first day of her senior year, and while many would be happy about this, she felt numb and normal. Why? Well, Garrison High wasn’t exactly the best high school. The kids there were just..cruel. (Y/N) walked to school and pulled out her diary as she sat on the stairs to write in it,

“September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. Ya know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year. I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and I ask myself: What happened?” She pondered as she looked up from her diary as kids were walking on, calling out insults to each other as the passed in the hallway,

“Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!” They all yelled as (Y/N) shook her head and continued to write, trying her best to remain in her own little world,

“We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased.”

“Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!” The yells of her fellow students once again distracted her as she continued writing,

“Singing and clapping, laughing and napping, baking cookies, eating paste.”

“Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!”

“Then we got bigger, That was the trigger, Like the Huns invading Rome” She was about to write more before someone rammed into her on the stairs, despite not being at fault she yelled out, “Sorry!” Before she stood up and started to write now, acting as if she was still writing in her head, “Welcome to my school, This ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon.”

“White trash!” Some kids yelled at her as she passed, causing her to sigh internally before continuing (A/N: Sorry if you’re not white I always just interrupted that line as being yelled at Veronica!)

“College will be paradise If I'm not dead by June!” She sighed, before changing her mood and smiling, “But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful…” She was about to continue internally until she saw a popular shoving someone to the floor, “Just not today.” She finished before running to see the kid who was now on the floor,

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked, offering a hand to help him up, before he helped himself up and yelled in her face,

“Get away, nerd!!” “O-Oh. Okay..” She walked to the cafeteria upset, not understanding why no one around here ever accepted or wanted her help.

“Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!” The kids in the cafeteria were yelling, causing (Y/N) to roll her eyes at Homo being used as an insult, before she started writing in her diary again as she was waiting in the lunch line,

“Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma, then I can blow this town.” She shook her head softly as she continued, “Dream of my ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafes…” Again she was interrupted by someone bumping into her, only this time it was the popular linebacker, Ram Sweeney,

“Watch it!” He yelled at her as (Y/N) breathed through her nose, her anger getting to her more now, “Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!” She was ready to act like nothing happened, until Ram pushed her tray into the air, 

“Ooooops.” He said with a smirk as he started to turn around and walk away, until (Y/N) called after him.

“Hey! Stop being such a huge dick!!” She yelled, causing Ram to turn back around and get up close and threateningly to her,

“What did you say to me skank!?” He yelled in her face, causing (Y/N) to flinch scared and back down, “N-Nothing!” “That’s what I thought!” He shoved her slightly again as he walked away and (Y/N) picked up her diary again,

“But I know, I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, I pray For a better way. We were kind before; we can be kind once more. We can be beautiful…” She continued before she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see her best friend,

“Hunk! Hey!” She hugged him softly,

“We still on for food night?” He asked sofly “Yeah! You’re on recipe detail!” “Great! I found a new recipe for cake pops!” “Again? Haven’t you tried them all by now?” “What can I say? I’m a sucker for things on sticks” (Y/N) was about to giggle and respond before the quarterback and “smartest guy on the football team” came up to them and yelled,

“Hunk Garbagetruck!! Wide load!! Ha ha!” He yelled as he slammed poor Hunk’s tray on the ground, causing (Y/N) to snap,

“Hey! Pick that up right now!” She yelled “I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He tilted his head intimidatingly,

“Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend? You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant!” (Y/N) responded without missing a beat but started to get more nervous as Kurt approached her more

“...You have a zit right there! Ha ha!” He walked off proudly as (Y/N) shook her head and started writing in her diary again

“Dear diary: why.... Why do they hate me? Why don't I fight back? Why does he act like such a creep? Why won't she date him? Why did he hit him? Why do I cry myself to sleep? Somebody hug us! Somebody fix us! Somebody save us! Send us a sign, God! Give us some hope here! Something to live for”

(Y/N) had finished just in time to see all the kids fawning as three people strutted into the room

“Ah! Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!” (Y/N) shook her head softly at everyone fawning as she sketched out a quick sketch of the three in her diary, and wrote down her thoughts about them as the kids continued fawning around her

“Then there's the Voltrons. They float above it all.”

“I love Shiro, Pidge, and Lance.”

“Lance McClaine. Made Head cheerleader despite being a male. His dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings.”

“I hate Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!”

“Pidge Gunderson. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.”

“I want Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!”

“And Takashi Shirogane, The Almighty...He is a mythic bitch. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that..” She finished her writing as the bell rang, and she followed The Voltrons into the CoEd bathroom. She heard the sound of vomiting, and figured it was probably Pidge. The poor girl had bulimia, and hardly anyone seemed to actually care. (Y/N) hide behind a stall and started writing something as she listened into the conversation that was now happening,  

“Grow up, Pidge. Bulimia is so '87.” Shiro called out as he worked on perfecting his eyeliner

“Maybe you should see a doctor, Pidge.” Lance said as he looked sympathetically towards the stall Pidge was in.

“Yeah, Lance. Maybe I should.” She replied weakly. As she replied, a teacher, Ms Allura, walked in,

“Ah, Shiro and Lance.” She started, as the sound of Pidge vomiting erupted again, “... and Pidge. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class.” She called, as (Y/N) was silently grateful that she had been prepared for this situation, and was ready to come out when the time called for it,

“Pidge wasn't feeling well. We're helping her.” Shiro replied with his arms crossed, causing Allura to chuckle softly, not backing down,

“Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention.” She said causing the Voltrons to roll their eyes as Pidge emerged from the stall and (Y/N) came out from her hiding spot,

“Actually, Ms. Allura, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.” She held out a piece of paper and Ms Allura took it to examine it,

“I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going.” She said as she started to hand back the hall pass to (Y/N) before Shiro intercepted it to examine it with the rest of the Voltrons behind him,

“This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?” He asked,

“U-Uh (Y/N) (L-L/N). I crave a boon.”

“What boon?” Shiro asked with his arms folded,

“Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary.

If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone....” (Y/N) started as the Voltrons started to erupt in laughter and walk away before (Y/N) continued with something that grabbed their attention, “Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.”

“How about prescriptions?” Pidge asked, stepping out of her position from behind Shiro slightly.

“Shut up, Pidge!”

“Sorry, Shiro…” Pidge got back in her place as Shiro examined (Y/N) who was standing still in front of him, wondering why he was examining her so closely,

“For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.” He mused, as Lance stepped out of place to join in on it,

“And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull,

I'd have matching halves. That's very important.” He said, patting (Y/N)’s back softly as he finished

“Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.” Pidge mused as she walked in a small circle around her. Shiro smirked and started singing softly,

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; And Lance, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.”

“Let's make her beautiful” Pidge joined in before Lance did too,

“Let's make her beautiful.”

“Make her beautiful... Okay?” Shiro asked, but it wasn’t really a question, and (Y/N) nodded,

“Okay!”

A day passed, and it was now lunch again. Things were going as usual, everyone yelling and insulting and pushing each other, until Ms Allura made an observation,

“Who's that with Shiro?” Everyone’s heads snapped up as they all started watching the door anxiously to get a better look at this mysterious person,

“Whoa! Shiro, Pidge, Lance... And... someone! Shiro, Pidge, Lance... And a babe! Shiro, Pidge, Lance…” They all were confused and were about to state their confusion again until Hunk was able to recognize who this was,

“(Y/N)!?” He exclaimed, shocked that his best friend he’s known his entire life was now drop dead gorgeous. (Y/N) nodded towards him, before she burst into song out of happiness,

“And ya know, ya know, ya know life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels looking like hell on wheels... My God, it's beautiful! I might be beautiful And when you're beautiful... It's a beautiful frickin' day!” 

“Shiro! Pidge! Lance! (Y/N)! Shiro! Pidge! Lance! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!” The kids around them all had started cheering, as (Y/N) was practically jumping up and down in joy. This was the start of a new day, and a new life. Maybe Senior Year wasn’t going to be all that bad.

[squatchdetective]

Expedition None

Introduction

Here comes a long one folks…

There are times that make me shake my head. As with all things in life there are folks out there that lie through their teeth, to deceive and obtain funds from folks. One such person is an self proclaimed East Texas Sasquatch researcher by the name of Robert “Bob” Garrett, who often calls himself, “The Hermit.” The man eventually became the leader of a for profit LLC, called the The Texas Big Thicket Watch Guide Service.

  Bob “The Hermit” Garrett

Many came to know Garrett from the controversial podcast, “The Sasquatch Chronicles.” Which for a long time catered to the notion that Sasquatch is a violent creature with a disdain for his less hairy primate relatives, us.

Garrett started off appearing to be a legitimate, caring researcher, never espousing a violent nature of the creatures, but I believe, in my opinion, seeing the early success of the “Sasquatch Chronicles,” hitched his wagon to the malevolent side of Sasquatch, and began to tell tales on the podcast of the mean streak of the hairy hominid creatures.

The Sasquatch Chronicles, itself was not shy of controversy as it was born out of the show hosts’ encounter. Wes and Woody had alleged an encounter in which they claim they were surrounded by a group of Sasquatch, where some of the environmental surroundings claimed on the encounter, did not seem to mesh up with the actual weather data collected at the time.

They asked for the intervention of the Washington Sasquatch Research Team (WASRT), which responded to the scene the next day, but they failed to find any corroborative evidence to their claims.

…Wes said on the show that he’d contacted WASRT—perhaps hoping for great validity. So WASRT’s report was revealed (no moon, no evidence) and then Wes curiously insisted that he’d merely called them (even though their website had no phone number) and certainly had never emailed them. Upon hearing this, WASRT promptly disclosed that at least 26 emails existed between Wes and the team.

                                                  – Brad Lockwood May 9th, 2015

                                                               The Daily Beast

  A full account of that can be read here in the DailyBeast.com

As far as Garrett’s tales of violence inside the Big Thicket of east Texas, Researcher Julie Rench, having relatives in the area decided to reach out on her own to corroborate Garrett’s claims with Texas Wildlife and Law Enforcement Officials.

“…Mrs.  Rench, we have not found anyone dead in the big thicket. We have no reports of such story. This does not match any deaths that we in Hardin County have had. If you get more information on this let us know…

…Not aware of this story you are asking about. We did have two people missing near Chester who were later found deceased in 2012-2013. This investigation was conducted by Tyler County Sheriff’s Office. They were residents of Polk County.

…I sent an email to Sasquatch Chronicles on February 1st and advised them that I had been in contact with some of the Law Enforcement in Texas and I could not verify the story that two people were killed and asked if they had checked into it as well.  I did not receive a response.  Shortly after the email I was removed and blocked from the Sasquatch Chronicles Facebook group.”

                                                              -Julie Rench March 19th, 2015

                                                             Bigfoot Anarchy Blog

Her research can be found here on the Bigfoot Anarchy Blog. It is very thorough and concise. 

The phone call

In December I had received a call from a couple of concerned members of the Mid-America Bigfoot Research Center (MABRC) that a friend of theirs had been taken for $1000.00 on one of Garrett’s expeditions that had been cancelled. They set up a phone call with the young lady from Missouri.

The victim, receiving instructions from Garrett’s daughter.

In February of 2016 she had paid for an expedition with the Texas Big Thicket Watch Guide Service, payable to one Robert Garrett, in the amount of $1000.00. Only to be told later that the expedition had been cancelled because they had been shut down by the federal government. When she spoke with Garrett she had asked about getting her money back, but Garrett said he was broke because he had to pay huge fines. If he gave her some time he would pay her back. He eventually stopped answering her calls.

First, I had to research Garrett’s claims and second, see if he would be willing to pay the victim back.

Garrett had made claims of Federal harassment because of the “murders” he uncovered of the Sasquatch, including a ripped up campsite he allegedly came across with his son Brandon.

“I have reviewed the videos and I still do not see anything that can not be attributed to human activity. In my younger days I went to many bush parties and witnessed things far worse than this. I have seen "tore up" woods and it was due to drunken idiots hacking down trees or from people intentionally running in to trees with their trucks. People due stupid things while under the influence of alcohol.

I have been on bike runs and plenty of poker runs that involved over night stays in campgrounds. I have seen what sauced up, half-in-the-pail adults will do. I have seen torn up camps and the camp in this video pales in comparison.”

                                                            – Steve Alcorn March 24th, 2015

                                                          Bigfoot Anarchy Blog

  An analysis of that was done by researcher Steve Alcorn and can be found here on Bigfoot Anarchy.

I had to be sure Garrett was telling the truth about being shut down by the Feds. It was…just not for the reasons he claimed. We all know about running paid expeditions on Federal lands. In case you don’t; You need permits. Something Garrett wasn’t apparently willing to do, or unable to do.

  An investigation full of surprises

First and foremost I wanted to ascertain the validity he was shut down by the government. The answer to that was no. He just wasn’t able to go to the National Park anymore. Last I knew the NP wasn’t the only game in town in East Texas for Bigfoot research, as I have been there in the past on expeditions and never hit that NP once. So he was not “shut down,” just at that location. His acumen as a Bigfoot researcher really shows poorly, for if he as good as he claims, he could have moved onto another active area (as Texas is full of them) and at least had some modest results.

This led me to looking at the profiles of Bob Garrett, Tim Sermons and Mo Michaux who were the three involved in organizing the Big Thicket expeditions.

Nothing on Garrett or Sermons on social media. Sermons was not active at all, and Garrett was very active, but just not about Sasquatch for some time. However in looking at The Big Thicket Watch Guide Service Facebook profile, I noticed  comments by Mo Michaux.

    Intrigued I contacted Michaux and got a plethora of information.  So lets go over the basics.

1. The Texas Big Thicket Watch Guide Service conducted 3 expeditions between February 2016 and April 2016.

2. In February 16th they were confronted by the NPS. The NPS warned them and told them they had to leave within 24 hours.

This was confirmed by a participant I contacted,

FEDs showed up and informed us that BG didn’t have a permit and we all need to be out of there within 24 hours.

3. The Texas Big Thicket Watch Guide Service was not shut down because of any government conspiracy covering up murders in the park as claimed by Garrett, but because he was consistently told he did not have a permit to do what he was doing. He ignored the first warning and got shut down and fined. But just in the park.

4. The first expedition Garrett proceeded to play an audio recording and spin a yarn at the “real reason” why they were being thrown out. Because a Sasquatch had torn up a camp and after the night video they had shot, he and his son had found a woman twisted, but alive, in a tree with a Sasquatch guarding it, in which Garrett had gotten an audio of it growling at them. He then proceeded to play the audio for the expeditioners.

Again confirmed with the participant,

“We were then informed by either Mo or Tim that Bob was pissed-off about the FED’s harassing him and was going to tell us the whole story about the Torn Up Camp Ground. BG presented the whole story which I conveyed to you. He then played the.…vocals for the first time.”

5. It was also confirmed to me by Sasquatch Chronicles host Wes Germer that the recording indeed was Garrett’s.

6. Germer originally blew off Michaux’s revelation that Garrett was hoaxing, by stating the two recordings sounded similar but weren’t the same in his opinion. He did try to say that to me as well but I told him, in no uncertain terms the recordings were the same and provided him the waveforms which proved such.

Here’s our analysis of the audio which is concrete evidence of Garrett hoaxing,

  The original sound came from a YouTube video which contained Gorilla Sound effects.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1ViN9Q8iao

It was very clear from the wave form analysis that this was the same audio file. The waveform on the alleged “Bigfoot” was not as loud indicating it was recorded from perhaps a speaker, and had noise in it, with a fan or electronic noise in the background creating the “fuzziness” on the waveform.

  The top stereo track is from the Gorilla effects video and the bottom Mono track is Garrett’s alleged audio of a Sasquatch.

When the two recordings were lined up the perfectly matched in timing and spacial distance. When played together they are clearly the same recording.

Another interesting fact, was that in speaking with Michaux, he stated they never set an LLC up. I had asked that because I had seen that in some of the NDA’s and Waiver forms sent to the victim.

I found out indeed that an LLC was set up electronically by someone without Michaux’s knowledge, despite listing him as a managing member.

Back to the Money Trail

April 2016 –

“BG gathered everyone together and stated that if the FED’s showed-up and asked if we paid to be on the expedition that we were to say NO. Ten minutes later the FEDS pulled up and stated BG did not have a permit and began to questioned us separately & in groups for approximately 2 hours. While the FEDs where speaking to some of the participants at the other end of the camp, Bob sat down with a few of us and stated that he would be refunding everyone’s money.”

This is again another quote from the participant that went to all of Bob’s expeditions. She ended up having to reverse the charge on her credit card.

Another person I spoke with is from Canada, and she too never had gotten her money back as well from Garrett. To pacify the crowd Garrett had given Michaux the recording to play for everyone which is how the recording ended up in his hands. He in turn shared it with the one of the participants who discovered the Gorilla clip.

The Canadian witness was appalled.

 “For someone you don’t even know to ask people that he doesn’t know to lie…he didn’t even blink an eye.”

Not only was she out the $500, but she was out the money  for the car rental, flights, hotel etc., because Garrett did not obtain a permit. Something he was warned about on his very first expedition.

She wrote the Big Thicket email, but never received a response.

After the last incident with the NPS, he was barred, so the remaining expeditions were cancelled, (not rescheduled elsewhere)

  The Confrontation

On March 20th, 2017 I had an 18 minute conversation with Bob Garrett after contacting Wes Germer. I had tried for a  week via Facebook messenger and for that day on YouTube mail to contact Garrett with no response, which seems to be a common denominator with him.

    To make a long story short, Garrett stated he had no money and ha to pay $6000 in fines. He blamed Michaux, stating he gave him the money to pay people back. When asked about a list of paid participants for the June expedition he said Michaux had it and that he never had one.

“Well if people were paying you, how did Mo know who to pay?”

The conversation went south from there and he raised his voice to me, first questioning why I am involved. My answer was, because one of the people you owe money to asked me.

He stated he doesn’t do the Facebook thing as the reason why he didn’t answer me. But didn’t know what to say when I gave him the exact amount of posts he put on Facebook since my message.

That aggravated him even more. Caught in his own lie.

In fairness, I reached out to Wes Germer afterwards and told him point blank what I thought of Garrett, showed him the evidence and that he is refusing to pay anyone back on the claims that he has no money. Funny thing is Wes knew the real fine, but I had informed him of EXACTLY what Garrett had said. His fine was $6000 Wes stated he had felt horrible people had lost money to this because of his show.

Michaux upon hearing what Garrett had said confronted Garrett and stated I, yes me, had lied and that Tim Sermons had been given the money to pay people back. At that point I needed no verification or authentication that Garrett was a liar and had no intention whatsoever paying people back.

In actuality the fines were slightly less $6000, but it was to be divided by the three men involved, costing each around $1400.

And the kicker…it could be paid in installments.

    The Case of the Missing FLIR

A friend known to many Sasquatch researcher by the pseudonym Maximus Decimus Meridius was the property master of a FLIR project where they built FLIR devices much like trap cameras. He provided Tim Sermons with three of them and researcher Chris Noel mailed them one. Long story short they all turned up into the hands of Bob Garrett and only 3 were returned, after first reporting the mailed one never got to him and another was stolen in the woods.

The FLIRs returned in a horrible state.

  Three of the cameras were returned with $5000 in damage according to Max. According to Michaux, Garrett made the claim they were “given” to him and that wording was used once to “Max.” Michaux also claims that Garrett still has one in proper working order. Michaux also stated that Garrett stated his intention of keeping one stating he will tell them one was stolen. Again these claims are of a he said she said type of thing, but the corroboration of the act of being “given” them versus lent them, was both in the narratives of Michaux and Max.

  Thoughts and lessons

First let me give you my thoughts on the Sasquatch Chronicles. Do I think badly of Wes Germer. Well the show’s premise is based on an alleged event, that has been disputed, mainly the evidence of weather. Was Wes caught in a lie when he stated he did not email WASRT. It appears so.

Wes had told me that night of the confrontation that, he told Garrett that I wanted to talk to him and that’s all. He said he was going to call him right away but it took a while for Garrett to get back to me via a text message.

  Text from Garrett before the phone call.

So does it look like Germer had just told Garrett I wanted to talk to him? It would appear much of my conversation with him went to Garrett thus preparing him for what was coming.

In 2005 Coast to Coast with George Nhouri had Tom Biscardi on, where Biscardi claimed he had a captured Sasquatch in Stagecoach, Nevada. Biscardi at the time had a webcam feed subscription and had promised he would get the cams on the captured Sasquatch. Of course the story turned out to be false.

What did George Nhouri do? He banned Biscardi and demanded that all the extra web cam subscriptions since the night of the announcement were refunded.

That is what a responsible journalist does. It’s not Germer’s fault directly that people had gotten taken money. It is a show host to entertain, and yes sometimes people get on shows that are full of shit, but most of the time we are not in a position to immediately investigate their claims. That is entertainment. However as a journalist, and I have does this countless times, if something doesn’t sound right, I question it. If something like this happened on my show, you are damned straight, there are announcements about the validity of the previous guest. If one story is a lie, then guess what? The rest of them true or not are worth a pile of crap.

Germer stated he felt bad about what had happened, and I would like to truly believe him. And if he is truly the man he claims to be then he will do in kind what George Nhouri had done on Coast to Coast some 12 years ago. He will not see this as an attack but as a reflection of perception and reality.

He has known this for a week now…and not a peep as far as I can tell. As to his encounter with his brother, I cannot state any opinion, only report the facts as told by others. I did not investigate it, I was not there end of story. But the first thing I always check is the weather data to help prove some corroboration. That was not there.  I will let the audience be the jury.

I hold no ill will because he provides a service for the money he gets. A form of entertainment. How real is it? Again that’s the audience’s decision. I can only report what I can prove and give you my opinion when I clearly state it is my opinion.

On Tim Sermons, I cannot speak wholly for the FLIR deal, but it seems like he was pressured to do Garrett’s bidding, again an opinion. Not being able to speak to the man, I withhold judgment.

On Mo Michaux, I can only state that when he smelled something rotten, the oblivious hoax by Garrett, at least one he could prove, did his due diligence and he tried to warn Germer, tried to give Garrett time to come clean, and when it didn’t happen he bailed, and was attacked for doing such by Garrett’s friends.

Sometimes, as we have seen in other cases, you need a slap across the face to see the truth around you. And when Michaux opened his eyes he did what he could. When he crossed paths with me, he gave me everything I asked for and more, feeling his name was tarnished with his association with Garrett.

Now on to Garrett. In my opinion of him, well here’s a guy that lies and lies about those lies. He’s easy to catch in them if you listen carefully. But he likes manipulation, and will call someone with truth on their side a liar, we’ve given ample and concrete evidence of a hoax and a man who clearly received $1000 from at least one person, and didn’t bother to even pay them back. It’s his name on that PayPal receipt, not anyone else’s. It’s his responsibility to pay them back.

We know though he never had any intention of paying anyone back for 3 day expeditions that last a day or hours, or one that didn’t even kick off.

That is why Mr. Garrett has earned himself a spot in the Squatchdetective Hall of Shame.

Bob Garrett in his final sentence to stated he wished he never heard of me. Well I take that as a compliment coming from him.

But I dare assume there is at least a few people out of money that wish they never heard of Bob Garrett.

  Till Next Time,

Squatch-D

“The Anti-Hermit”

Tagged: Bigfoot Anarchy, Bob Garrett, Brandon Garrett, Chris Noel, Coast to Coast, FLIR Project, George Nhouri, Julie Rench, Maximus Decimus Meridius, Mo Michaux, Robert Garrett, Steve Alcorn, The Sasquatch Chronicles, Tim Sermons, Tom Biscardi, Wes Germer, Woody Germer from WordPress http://ift.tt/2nstXdt via IFTTT

[weareallfallengods]

Repost bcz the 1st one is too far down my blog

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it. 

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could. 

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway. 

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!" 

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now. 

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually. 

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm. 

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound. 

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of. 

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did. 

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure. 

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night. 

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck. 

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too. 

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore. 

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage. 

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn. 

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again. 

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important. 

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?” 

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me.