#1d story

[myfandomrealitea]

Wattpad's TOS are actually criminally hypocritical and ridiculous the more you read them. The website is literally just:

"Give us all your content for free to do with as we please and let us expose you to 493737573 website cookies and advertisements but also if you change the color of our logo we'll sue and if someone gets inaccurate medical advice from your fanfiction and sues we're also going to sue you for exposing us to risk."

Wattpad can mine your content but you can't mine Wattpad.

Wattpad can sue you for absolutely anything they perceive as "damaging" or "breach of terms" but the moment you make an account you release them of any and all claims, damages and responsibility.

If Anne Rice 2.0 does happen, Wattpad has so kindly declared that they reserve the right to be the sole defense, so they can throw you under the bus and then charge you for any and all fees incurred including legal and "related" costs. Oh, and you have to co-operate because, guess what? You agreed to!

In the instance you do wind up in a legal battle for your own content you're shit out of luck because Wattpad will have no part in it other than making sure its absolved of any responsibility and costs, and you're restricted to attending Court only in the Province of Ontario.

Like. How anyone still uses Wattpad is beyond me. Completely. It so obviously nothing more than a for-profit content theft facilitator. I feel like we've just moved so far beyond the need for Wattpad. Its so outdated even if you don't look at the TOS.

[daisyblog]

YN in This Is Us

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN is Louis's sister and Harry's girlfriend, and appears in clips in One Direction: This Is Us. Warning: mild swearing

***

“Whether we're together or apart, we can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start” Louis and Niall both sing behind YN as they all walk through the backstage area.

YN continues walking beside Louis as they both head towards the stage area, Liam and Niall are a few steps in front of them talking about how good they're feeling now they’re standing in the 02 Arena. As YN walks between Louis and Helene, Louis swings his arm around his sisters shoulder as they continue to walk towards the stage. --- The next scene shows Harry in his white t-shirt and black shorts kicking a football to Louis, whilst Paul explains that it’s their first day of rehearsals and in the background, YN is sat with Niall and Louis's friend Oli watching her brother and boyfriend. Louis kicks the ball so hard that it flies between Paul and Will and almost hits them. “Heads Will”, Louis shouts as a warning. In the background of the scene, YN's voice can be heard “Lou..be careful will ya”, and the camera shows Harry chuckling at Louis's antics.

--- Louis is sitting on top of one of the tour black boxes in the hallway “I was never really a fan of boybands before One Direction..like I remember me sister YN always listening to some boy group..and it just wasn’t for me you know”. --- The boys are in the open space attempting to practice their choreography. Harry is skipping around topless displaying his tattoos and swinging his white t-shirt in the air, whilst Paul is trying to give them instructions. YN can be seen standing with Louis and Liam with her pinched fingers in front of her leaning forwards and back and laughing at each other and their ridiculous attempt at a dance move. In the corner of the screen, Harry is caught staring at YN with a slight smirk on his face…”YN you’re supposed to be helping me with these lot…not joining in” Paul playfully scolded. --- “I don’t know if any of you hav’ seen my first audition..but it was horrendous..I hope it doesn’t make any part of this movie” Louis states and the clip of Louis auditioning on The X Factor is shown. A clip from The X Factor is shown where Simon is telling the boys on the show who the final contents are and who is going through to the show. “I can see me mum and YN” Louis explains whilst waving his hand under his chin “and they're going yeah yeah yeah…and I'm like no..this clearly means no” Louis continues his hand movement. --- The boys were at New York City's Madison Square Garden getting ready to perform for the sold-out show. The boys were messing around on the stage, Louis and Liam were doing a dance together and the others running from one part to the other, whilst practising Last First Kiss.

Niall and Harry’s Mum’s were sitting in the back of a horse cart having a tour of the city, explaining how emotional they were about seeing their babies perform at Madison Square Garden in a few hours. Meanwhile, Niall is pushing Harry around the hallway in a large blue bin, and YN can be seen walking down the hallways with Liam after going to find him for Lou to style his hair. YN stops by the doorway that Niall is about to push the bin through..”What are you doin’?” YN asks the pair whilst giggling, Niall continues to chuckle and Harry begins to sing “I’m in the mood for dancing, romancing” the two bodyguards shake their head at the scene in front of them. --- “Even if one member of your family is in the audience..it adds to the nerves” Louis begins to explain whilst sitting in the chair beside Liam “All me family are gonna be ‘ere and I’m just nervous..you know” Liam adds to Louis's statement “For all our families to be together in this place and being here is..like amazing”. --- Jay was writing on the red telephone box “my baby first born Louis xx” as YN stood beside her in the merch shop. YN stood by the merch counter with her Mum and Karen, Liam’s Mum, whilst they explained to the girls behind that they wanted to buy a cardboard stand-up of their boys so that they can take it home and say goodnight to it when the boys are on tour. “Can I have a Louis one?” Johannah asked “YN..are you goin’ to get a Harry one?” Her Mum teased, as she and Karen laughed at YN's playful glare. Karen begins to get upset when talking about how she knew Liam would be big but never that big and how she misses him when he’s on tour. YN puts her arm around her to comfort her and says “Aww..Karen don’t cry”. --- “With The X Factor…Harry went to an audition..and never came home again” Robin, Harry’s Stepfather explained “You weren’t ready for that..were you?” he turned to ask Anne. “No..as a mother I should be taking him places..and showing him things and.. it..turned around for him to bring us here..it takes a bit of getting used to..it feels quite surreal” Anne spoke softly. Anne is then seen walking down the hallways of the venue and immediately pulls Harry into a big hug “I’ve missed you” she says into his hair and YN is seen just behind them smiling at the loving moment between Harry and his Mum. Anne then greets YN with a hug and kiss on the cheek “How are you my love?”.

--- Louis is sitting in the chair in front of YN reading the playlist for tonight’s show, whilst she blow-drys his hair “Are you stayin’ backstage or sitting with Mum tonight?” he asks his sister. “I’m goin’ to sit with Mum and Anne” YN replied whilst using the brush to move his hair. “Look at you..hangin’ with the in-laws” Louis teased YN to which she pushed his shoulder playful, trying to mask the blush on her cheeks. --- Before YN heads up to her seat with her family and the boy's families, the crew members and families are seen giving the boys words of encouragement and hugs. YN hugged and wished Zayn, Niall and Liam good luck before wrapping her arms around her brother's neck “Good luck..you’re gonna smash it” the camera picks up. Moving on to hug her boyfriend…the fans noticed the hug lasting longer than the others and Harry leaving a subtle peck on YN's temple. --- The boys and the crew are all waiting in the airport for the flight, some are lying across the small uncomfortable chairs and some are laying on the floor using bags and coats as a pillow.

Niall is awake and laying on the small sofa next to Louis, who’s sleeping with his hand resting under his head. Harry is laying on the floor wearing his signature black jeans and brown thick coat, despite not being able to see YN's face as it's tucked into Harry’s chest, fans are quick to spot Harry’s arms wrapped around her.

--- Harry is seen walking towards YN and Louis, in just a pair of boxers, as she's preparing to style her brother's hair. “Morning” Louis greets Harry as he turns to face him, noticing his lack of clothing as he enters his and YN's shared room. “Good morning” Harry’s raspy voice is heard. Louis notices the smirk YN and Harry share as their eyes are glued to each other, to which he raises his eyebrows to the camera in front of him with a teasing glint in his eye. After YN sprays Louis's hair with some hairspray, Harry takes his place in the chair in front of YN. Harry starts pretending to play the piano and making strange noises as YN attempts to cut his hair and Louis is laying across your bed also contributing to the noises, “Keep still will ya..I’m gonna end up messin’ it up” YN tells Harry who looks at Louis with a sheepish smile. But in true Louis and Harry style, they continue their childish behaviour and laugh at YN's unamused expression. --- The boys are waiting backstage, ready to perform at the 1D Japan party. YN is sat on the stool behind the drumkit, and Louis is standing behind her trying to show her how to play them. “Little Things” Harry suggests for them to practice before heading out to perform. Liam and Zayn are harmonising, whilst Niall and Louis add their own version of the song. Harry comes into the shot where YN is standing with Louis, Liam and Niall…beginning to poke her cheek ”And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth, 'cause it's you, oh, it's you, It's you, they add up to”

--- Harry is adjusting the beanie on his head as he’s explaining to the camera crew, whilst going down the escalator, “We rarely get a day off when we’re visiting places..so it’s nice to walk around…and explore” after moving the string of his mask that’s sitting under his chin, Harry moves to place a hand on YN's shoulder as she's standing in front of him waiting to get off the escalator. Sitting in the back of the van, Harry is telling Niall about his day of exploring “Me and YN went around wearing one of those surgical masks”. “Oh you did?..Where did you get them?” Niall asked “I bought a packet of five.. I've got a spare one that you can have” Harry offered. “Sick” Niall replied.

--- “You know we don’t get to see our families as much as we used to” Niall explains “But..um..we have like a road family”. Harry is sitting topless on the plain black chair in front of the large mirror waving his hands around at the camera filming, as YN is drying his hair, instructed by Lou who was trying to get Lux down for a nap. “I’m Paul Higgins and I’m their tour manager” Paul introduces himself, sitting behind a table covered with different papers. Paul is seen shouting about the boys having five minutes left until they need to be on stage. YN is sat on the brown sofa next to her brother whilst he cheekily looks at Paul and says “Thank you Dad”. “The boys are very grounded and that comes from the people around them” Paul explains. “Lou and YN gives us the best haircuts” Liam praises as Lou is shaving his hair and YN is standing next to her holding some of the equipment. “Aww thank you”. Lou and YN both say in unison. In the next frame, Liam takes the hairspray out of YN's hand whilst she's trying to tidy up his hair and begins to spray hers. “AHHH…LIAM” YN screams. Harry then grabs YN and Lou, both being off guard by the sudden movement and pulls them both into a group cuddle whilst expressing his appreciation “I love my hair..thanks girls”. “Don’t touch me” Lou repeats. --- It’s Paul's birthday and everyone celebrates in one of the backstage rooms, with a song and a round chocolate cake. Harry thought it would be a good idea to smear chocolate icing over YN's cheek and forehead. The camera captures Harry trying to crawl his way out of the crowded room to escape her grip, but he’s too slow and YN manages to climb on top of him. “No..No” Harry is heard shouting and protesting as YN wipes a large dollop of icing onto his cheek. Louis’s voice is heard from inside the room “I told you not to mess with her Harry lad”. Harry then gets up from the floor and runs after YN down the hallway of the venue and eventually wrapping his arm around her front and lifting YN from the floor and rubbing his cheek blindly against her face, making them both laugh uncontrollably together. --- The boys are talking about each other and what they bring to the band. Zayn begins by describing Harry as a perfect pop star who was born for it. Louis is sitting on one of the tour boxes “Harry is definitely charming…I mean he’s won over a Tomlinson you know what I mean”. “He’s just being Harry and he likes going out and having a good time” Liam adds “and doesn’t want to waste a moment”. --- Liam and Harry are fishing, well...Harry is leaning his head against the side of the wall. They're both talking about their time on The X Factor and how they remembered little discussions they had…even one about kicking Zayn out of the band because he didn’t turn up to a coffee meeting once.

And in an unseen clip, Harry admitted “I got so nervous..like talking to YN”. “Aww mate…I can’t talk to girls” Liam agreed “What was your..like protocol when talking to her?”. “I threw things at her” Harry laughed at his joke. “You threw things at her?” Liam repeated. "No..I'm only joking..I used to make her cups of tea". “Well it clearly worked mate”. --- Louis is skateboarding through the arena and grabs a box of popcorn from the table, with YN running behind him. Louis is then driving a forklift truck around, with YN sitting on the back holding on while he speeds around the room. “Watch out..” Louis announces. “The Tomlinsons are coming through” and the security guards are trying to catch them both to take the keys off Louis. --- In another clip, YN and Harry are outside in the car park of the venue running from Preston and Paddy, Harry’s security. They both managed to get to the metal fence but as they tried crawling underneath, Preston caught hold of YN's foot to stop her. “C’mon now YN” as he helped her up. “I am their Dad on the road” Paul explains. “We have a good working relationship..the only issue I've got is their all a pain in the arse..including YN” Paul adds with a chuckle. --- YN is walking through a crowded town with Louis, Liam and Zayn when some fans spot the group. Liam asks if Louis wants to go into one of the shops to the left of them. More fans start to recognise the boys and get excited, and more and more fans appear screaming and shouting. The security guards with them all are quick to try and get them all into the shop, protectively Louis wraps his arm around his sister's shoulder to keep her close to him. Once the security ushers the group into the shop and closes the front doors, fans start singing What Makes You Beautiful whilst blocking the store. YN continues to stand near Louis and Zayn as security decides how to get them all out of there safely. --- At the airport waiting to go home, Harry is laying on the floor whilst Lou’s boyfriend spins him around in circles by his legs. YN is seen in the background standing close to Harry whilst he hugs Zayn goodbye. Louis then comes over to his sister and wraps his arms around her shoulders and is heard telling her to phone him later as YN is going home with Harry. --- Harry is back home in his hometown, Homles Chapel, and is walking through a field area that’s not far from his mum’s house. “I like Homles Chapel because every other part of my life has changed…apart from like coming here it’s like exactly the same” Harry speaks as he’s walking across the short grass. As he approaches the water and some trees, he begins to speak “I kissed a girl down here..it was a bit further down..we were like against a tree” and cheekily smiles at the camera “I won't tell you who though…she’s got a scary older brother” Harry joked “..but it was pretty steamy”. --- Jay is wearing her red Yorkshire Tea apron whilst she’s sorting through clothes on the bed in front of her explaining how Louis has only been home five times since he auditioned for The X Factor. YN and Louis are visiting their great-grandmother at her home in Doncaster. “Hello luv’” Louis greets her with a hug. YN follows behind, “Hello Nan” as YN pulls her into a loving cuddle. Louis is sitting on the sofa with their Nan with an arm around her shoulder whilst she explains it's been a long time since she’s seen them both, but she does have photos of the two siblings along with their other siblings up on her walls that she looks at every day. --- In another clip, Harry has just woken up and is laying on his bare stomach under a white duvet. “We’ve got a show today” he rasps in his husky morning voice. Fans are quick to spot YN's smaller frame lying on the pillow next to his and he glances at her and mutters “I’m exhausted”. ***

[larrylimericks]

2Jul24

Mr. Cowell, in need of attention, Implanted an H. Styles mention; He says he was rung And praises were sung, Which, much like his face, is invention.

[drewsephrry]

slut!

Harry Styles x reader

Inspired by: slut! -Taylor Swift

Warnings: kisses, curse words, crying, drinking, smoking

Words: 1.3k

Being this young is art

The party is loud inside the house. Too loud for her liking. So there she sits in one of the sunbeds, beside the aquamarine moonlit swimming pool. Her lover laying on a pink flamingo floatie in the middle of it.

“Care to join me, darling?” His British accent, thick and inviting. Y/N looks at his green eyes shining even from afar and nods as she gets up. He gently gets off the flamingo and swims to the end of the pool where she is closer to.

He holds his hand up for her to take and she walks closer to him. Her mouth salivating at the sight of him. Long hair, now wet, wrapped in a bun, tanned and toned body adorned with tattoos, black shorts sticking on his thick thighs.

“You alright, my love?” he asks, as they swim towards the edge of the pool that overlooks the ocean. She nods.

“Do you need anything? You want me to get you a drink?”

What if all I need is you?

“No, H. I'm fine. Just want to stay like this with you in this moment.” She explains, turning away from him and looking away to the ocean, embarrassed by her confession. He hugs her from behind and kisses her shoulder gently.

“I adore you.”

Butterflies erupt in her stomach from lovesickness.

She turns around to face him and kiss his lips. They taste like tequila and mint. With his help, he has her pinned on the pool wall and her legs wrapped around his waist as they share kisses and sweet nothings underneath the moon.

After a little while, the couple gets out of the pool to dry off and join their friends in the party. Y/N puts back on her tight little skirt from earlier and Harry passes her his white t-shirt, after she dries herself with her towel. Harry puts back on his red and black checkered flannel and grabs his girlfriend's hand, walking together towards the house.

The music is really loud. People are drinking and dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Others are making out or playing beer pong.

Y/N grimaces, as Harry guides them where the boys were hanging out earlier. The boys greet the couple again and offer them drinks. Both of them refuse as Harry pulls Y/N to sit on his lap, on the couch.

And if I'm gonna be drunk

Might as well be drunk in love

Girls pass giggling and staring Y/N down, wishing they could be in her place. Wishing Harry's arms wrapped around their waist and kissing their necks.

“She's such a slut!” a jealous voice among the crowd makes herself known.

But if I'm all dressed up

They might as well be looking at us

And if they call me a slut

You know it might be worth it for once

The boys are smoking, drinking and having fun. Y/N isn't having it though. She tries plastering a fake smile on her face, for the sake of the handsome man under her. But she can't take her mind off the girls whispering about her.

“Harry?” She asks quietly, the music making it not noticeable for everyone else. Harry whips his head towards her and nods, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yes, sweetheart?” “Can we go?” she asks, playing with the rings on his fingers, wrapped around her waist. Harry nods and helps her get up. He says quick goodbyes to everyone and pulls Y/N with him.

“Hi Harry!”

“Oh my god, you're so hot!”

“Can we take a selfie?”

“I'm like in love with you!”

“What is she doing with you?”

Harry ignores everyone as he walks, holding Y/N's hand towards the front door.

The clock strikes midnight. They both are in the car, with flickering headlights, driving around Sunrise Boulevard.

Y/N is quiet. Quieter than usual.

“What's on your mind, my love?”

“Just want to go home with you.”

Harry places his hand on her thigh, as he continues driving to his luxurious house. When they reach it, Harry decides to take a shower, whilst Y/N is having a midnight snack in the kitchen. Grapes and strawberries.

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head

Her phone is ringing loudly from her handbag, that she had forgotten she even had with her. She pulls it out and sees thousands of tweets, posts and articles about her and Harry out and about. She groans and opens a random one, reading the comments.

‘How could he be with someone like her?’

‘What is she even wearing?’

‘A friend of mine told me that she was drunk and all over him at the party.’

‘She's such a slut!’

‘Whore!’

‘She was so rude the whole night and kept Harry from having fun.’

I'll pay the price, you won't

Tears are running down her face, without noticing.

Everyone wants him

That was my crime

"Fuck.” She whispers. The water just stopped running from the bathroom and she doesn't want Harry to see her like this.

She tries wiping her tears as much as she can, but more fall down with each tissue. Her mascara stains her apple cheeks, her red lipstick still intact.

“Angel, the water's warm if you want to-” he looks up. “What happened?” he asks, grabbing her face. Y/N tries to look away but he doesn't let her.

When her eyes meet his green ones with that daydream look, she breaks down. Her sobs are loud and her tears are endless. Harry pulls her to his chest and holds her while she tries to calm down. He plants kisses all over her face, wiping the rest of the tears that dared falling.

And I break down, then he's pullin' me in

In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

“Shh, my love. I've got you. Please don't cry.” He whispers. Y/N finally calms down but keeps holding Harry close to her.

“What happened?” He asks, concerned. Y/N gives him her phone and he reads the comments.

“Baby, you shouldn't listen to them. They're so wrong about you and how perfect you are. You are a gorgeous, impossibly kind, patient person that puts up with me and those stupid parties and my friends. I had a lot of fun tonight with you and I wouldn't change a thing.” Harry confesses.

Lovelorn and nobody knows

Love thorns all over this rose

Y/N nods and pecks Harry's lips.

“Thank you.”

“How about you go take a nice and warm shower and I'll wait for you? I'll bring you a change of comfy clothes and I'll make popcorn. We can watch ‘The Notebook’, if you want.” He knows her so well. Y/N nods with teary eyes and walks to the bathroom.

After her quick and warm shower, she walks up the pink stairs in Harry's bedroom. She finds him sitting with his naked back on the headboard of the bed, hair slick back, with a tub of icecream on his lap and a bag of popcorn beside him.

“I found your favorite flavor in the freezer, so I thought why go to waste?” Y/N smiles as Harry chuckles. She joins him, wearing his rolling stones graphic t-shirt he can't get rid of and a pair of his boxers. She looks so tiny and gorgeous to him. He kisses her and pulls her close to his chest.

Love to think you'll never forget

“Harry, I wanted to thank you for tonight. The way you comforted me and calmed me down…I don't know what to say.” Y/N confesses, when the movie titles come up on the screen. Harry is half asleep, hooded eyes and a wide smile adored on his face. The tangerine light on his face from the lamp on his bedside table illuminates his features and black ink covered body.

“Y/N, I don't know if I should be saying this. Maybe it's too early.”

“The worst that can happen is that it might blow up in your pretty face and I'm not saying do it anyway but I know you're going to.” Y/N pushes him to continue.

“I'm in love with you.”

“I'm in love with you too, H.” he presses his lips against hers, moving in sync with her.

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head

Got lovesick, all over my bed

And if they call me a slut

You know it might be worth it for once

And if I'm gonna be drunk

Might as well be drunk in love

“We're going to be alright, my love.”

"By the way, you taste like strawberries."

[glittergradient]

liam payne's death is unfortunately not as shocking and out of the blue as it should be, which makes it even sadder. children shouldn't be famous. adults can often barely handle fame, never mind children. the repercussions and damage can take years to manifest, but they almost always do. what a sad way to go.

[harrybirthdaytoya]

At one 1D concert I attended where I was very close to the stage, I was shocked when Liam made eye contact and winked at me less than 5 minutes into the concert. I wasn’t particularly attractive or special. As I watched him, I noticed he did it again, and again, and again, to any fan whose eyes he managed to catch.

That was Liam. Liam wanted every fan to have the best experience possible. He wanted everyone to feel noticed. He wanted everyone to know they were loved. I wasn’t a Liam girl but he saw me, and he cared.

Liam certainly had his flaws. I don’t deny any allegations. But I am devastated (and frankly, a little angry) that mental health, drugs, and arrested development from fame at such a young age broke him.

I will always remember Liam for the heart that was within him that I saw firsthand.

[didhewinkback]

i genuinely always believed that 1d would reunite but didnt think it would happen until they were in their 40s or later but now i think i would be pretty surprised if they performed on stage together again bc even from a fans perspective it would be so jarring visually and sonically like liam was the core of the majority of their songs, i cant imagine what it would feel like for them to perform without him.

just so heavy. he wanted that reunion so bad

[maybecordelia]

story of my life by one direction was posted 11 years ago today

[daisyblog]

Show Me Love

A Harry Styles Story

Trigger warnings:  18+, anxiety, sexual content, strong language, emotional abuse, alcohol use, undiagnosed/struggling with learning difficulty. 

Summary: Harry and Evie meet at university, bond over their shared love for music and pop-rock bands.

Whilst Evie struggles with anxiety, loving herself and her difficult family dynamic, Harry lives with a calm, content and happy life surrounded by a loving family, everything she has ever dreamed of.

Evie doesn’t realise she’s looking for love until Harry shows her what love really is and she doesn’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.

Chapters: Chapter One: Evie

Chapter Two: Harry

Chapter Three: Evie

[larrylimericks]

3Jul24

Si’d like to strike 1D gold twice, But your soul for his goal is the price. This modern-day Midas Is v-necked detritus — “Kindly fuck off” is highly advised.

[niallsgoldhoop]

sweet spot

a niall horan short story part one of six / six thousand words-ish nsfw, 18+

“I’m going to get another drink!”

I smile at my friends before turning away from the round table we’ve been sitting at, cutting my way through the crowded bar full of people dressed in various shades of green.

St. Patrick’s Day was the day to go out.

This year, for once, it fell on a Sunday which was the only day that I was off work.

Not that I was complaining— Owning my own bakery was the one and only thing that I had ever wanted and dreamed of.

So this morning when a couple of my closest friends asked if I wanted to go out with them later that night, the only obvious answer was yes.

“What can I get for you?” Looking up at me with a wide smile, the girl behind the bar mixes a couple of drinks before pushing the one in her hand right to the girl next to me.

Biting on my bottom lip, my eyes scan over the rows of liquor bottles lined up behind her. “I’ll just take an old fashioned with an extra cherry, please!”

“You got it, babe.”

Turning her back to me and pouring my drink, I lean against the dark wooden bar top to wait. While I’ve made my rounds to different pubs and bars over the years, I’d never been to Wilson’s before. It was full of sports memorabilia and vintage Guinness signs.

As my eyes take in everything around me, I realize one more thing that this bar has that none of the others have ever had.

Him.

Jesus Christ.

Even from here I can tell his eyes are light— a contrast to the dark chestnut color of his hair that curls out from the bottom of the Boston Red Sox hat perched on top of his head.

Sitting with a small group much like my own, the moment his eyes meet mine from across the distance something shifts deep inside my belly.

Heat blooms across my cheeks as I look away, focusing my vision on the baseball game playing on the television to my left, only I definitely couldn’t tell you a single thing on it.

“See something you like?”

Whipping around at the sound of a low, Irish accent, I find myself face to face with the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.

If I thought he was captivating from across the room?

That was nothing compared to standing right next to him.

Under the brim of his hat, those eyes are so blue that it takes my breath away especially when the golden ring around his pupil catches the light when his fingers grip the brim of his hat and turn it backwards.

Fuck me.

“I—Um—“ Words evade me as he looks over the features of my face, those eyes falling to my lips for the longest few seconds of my life.

Running his hand over the dark scruff lining his jaw, it does nothing to hide the smirk that pulls at the corner of his full lips. “Cat got your tongue?”

This time I realize it’s my turn to let my eyes linger where they shouldn’t as a smug smile pulls on the corner of my own lips.

“Niall.” Holding his hand out to me, goosebumps travel up my arms at the electric touch between us. “And you?”

Just as I go to answer, the drink I ordered slides in front of me, looking so refreshing that I can’t help but pick one of the cherries out and bite it between my teeth, my tongue catching the drop of cherry flavored whiskey from my bottom lip.

“Willow.”

His thoat bobs against his swallow, that thick accent rough and low as he pushes closer to me as someone slides up to the bar behind him, repeating my name back to me as if he was imagining the taste of it on his own tongue. “Willow.”

I’ve never met someone who I’ve been able to fall into a conversation with so quickly. It feels like we stand there forever, slowly drifting closer and closer to each other. The smell of his vetiver and bergamot cologne becomes more and more intoxicating as time goes on.

“So, this is your holiday?” Taking a sip of the amber liquid from my glass, I look up at him through my lashes as the last rays of the sun filter through the old stained glass windows of the bar.

His laugh is loud and full before he leans a little closer to be heard over the noise, his tone playful with something else hidden under the surface. “I guess that depends.”

“Oh yeah?” A smirk pulls at the corner of my lips when Niall reaches out, his finger boldly tracing the thin green strap over my shoulder before following the path of my collarbone. “On what?”

A final peak of the sun hits the gold hoop in his ear just before he leans forward, his soft lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “Are you going to kiss me because I’m Irish?”

“I don’t know—“ Reaching forward, my middle finger tucks into the pocket of his jeans as I look up at him, my head tilting to the side. “Are you gonna kiss me if I’m not?”

Time stands still between us as Niall glances behind him, towards the table of friends he left behind, his hand dropping to my waist where the tips of his fingers slide just barely under the top of my jeans. “Maybe not on the lips— But I can think of some other places I’d like to get my mouth.”

“Here?” This time it’s my turn to look behind me, towards my friends. “I—“

“Well, I’m not opposed to that.” His voice sounds laden with honey. “I won’t lie, Willow— You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.”

A blush crowds the apples of my cheeks as I push a lock of hair behind my ear. “I could say the same about you, Niall.”

“Will they miss you?” Blue eyes look over the top of my head as he looks towards my friends. “Because I know the guys at my table won’t miss me.”

Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head. “They’ll be fine.”

I wasn’t a stranger to a one night stand— in fact, I feel like that’s what I preferred.

Working the hours at the bakery mixed with helping my sister, it just worked out that way. Plus it never really bothered me to be single.

There was something about Niall that felt honest.

Deep in those sapphire eyes with their golden sunset, there was a feeling in my gut of trust.

Ever since I was younger I’d always had intuition that was rarely ever wrong, something that I held close to my heart, letting myself lean into those feelings.

“So what do you say, Willow?” That brilliant smile splits across his perfect features, a couple of small crinkles at the corner of his eyes. “Want to get out of here?”

“Are you asking me to make an Irish exit?” A laugh bubbles out from my lips as I look up to him.

With a shrug of his shoulders, that hand resting along the top of my hip slides along the rough material on my jeans before his fingers dip into the waistband, pulling my body flush with his as his lips brush across my jaw. “Is it still an Irish exit if you leave with someone who’s Irish?”

“Mm, maybe not.” My words come on an exaggerated breath— one not meant for the public to hear. “Let me just send my location to my friends and tell them I’m leaving.”

Niall nips my earlobe. “I can't stop thinking about what I’ll do when I’m alone with you.”

Pulling some cash out of my wallet and pushing it across the bar, I listen to the fire blazing through my blood as I thread my fingers through his, looking up at him with a smile.

“I can't wait to find out.”

_________

I’ve never wanted someone so bad.

The entire ride in the back of the taxi to Niall’s house was like the ultimate tease of his attention.

From the words he whispered against my skin to the way his hands rested heavy on my thigh, his pinky just teasing along the seam of my jeans.

His lips hadn’t even met mine and I already knew just how impactful it would be when they do.

God, how fucking god they’ll feel.

On my lips.

On my skin.

When his hand finds mine as he says goodbye to our driver, butterflies flood my belly as he guides me in front of him to the front door of a quaint bungalow style house complete with a blooming garden.

“Fucking finally.” My body presses into his front door as he reaches into his pocket, the sound of metal keys cutting through the crisp air. “When I saw you— Standing at that bar— All I could think about was getting you here, with me.”

One hand wraps around my waist as the other pushes the key into the lock, turning it and pushing open the heavy door. As much as I’d like to look at everything inside, that idea falls flat when Niall grips me by the hips, spinning us around and pushing my back into the door as it slams shut.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? With where this is going?” Cupping my jaw, his thumb presses under my chin to bring my gaze to his. “If we’re going to do this— Together— I want you to be vocal, okay? I want to hear you answer me and tell me what you want, what you need. Can you do that for me, Willow?”

I swallow the nerves building up, nodding my head, my tongue rolls over my body lip. “Yes— Yes, I can do that. Please, Niall—“

“Come here.”

When the space between us closes, his lips on mine, I swear to god it feels like the earth starts to spin in reverse.

Soft and supple, Niall moves his lips along with mine as if he’d been doing just that for years. I can't even contain the whimper that falls from my own lips when his tongue teases across my top lip as his hands slide under the thin top that I pulled on this morning.

Just feeling his skin against mine sends a wave of goosebumps across my body, making me arch my back to push myself even closer to his warm body, feeling the heat emanating from him.

“Fuck.” His teeth pull on my bottom lip, just enough pressure to send a jolt through my nervous system. “I could stand here and kiss you all night, Jesus Christ.”

“Mhm.” Is my only reply as my lips travel from his and across the scruff lining his jaw, down to the spot under his golden earring, pulling the skin between my teeth and soothing it with my tongue. “But then I wouldn’t get to see this.” Dropping one of my hands, I cup him through his jeans and listen to the low groan from deep in his throat. “Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“Yeah? You want to see my cock nice and hard for you— Is that it?” Niall pulls back just enough to meet my gaze as his hands fall from under my shirt. “I’m going to ask you some questions, okay?”

“Okay.” Breathless, I feel the electricity as it buzzes underneath my skin.

“Is anything off limits for you?” Working the button of my jeans, he keeps those blue eyes on mine.

Shaking my head, I feel my heart rate skipping a beat. “No.”

“Good.” A smile plays at the corner of his lips as the unmistakable sound of his fingers pulling down the zipper fills the space around us. “Do you need a safe word just in case?”

“N—No.” I shake my head again. “I don’t.”

A small nod is the only response I get before Niall drops down in front of me, looking up at me from his knees, his fingers curling around the edge of my pants before pulling them down to reveal the skimpy lacy covering my center.

“Jesus Christ.” Strong hands drag up my thighs as his eyes go wide. “This incredible body is just for me tonight, is that right?”

Through dark lashes framing his eyes, the blue fades out as the darkness of his pupils expand. “For tonight, yeah.”

“Are you going to leave that pretty green top on? Or take it off?” The very top of his finger traces the edge of the black lace, making my thighs inadvertently rub together. “Don’t worry— I’ll take care of you.”

Gripping the edges of my shirt and pulling it off, I drop it next to where my shoes and my jeans sit in a small pile, my hand reaching out to run through Niall’s dark hair.

When the soft light from the lamp across the living room catches the silver barbells through my nipples, his eyes close as he tilts his face up to the ceiling, almost like he’s in need of his own savior.

“Willow.” My name falls off his lips on a groan, one from deep inside his chest. “God.”

With my back still against the front door, a small gasp leaves me when Niall’s lips press against my skin, small kisses dancing across my thighs and the soft nips from his teeth adding to the sensation.

“Look at you— Soaking wet.” Dragging his finger over the center of the damp fabric, I tilt my head back when he presses his fingertips to my clit. “I bet you taste sweet, so fucking sweet.”

“Maybe if you quit talking you’ll find out.” I answer.

Niall scoffs, looking up at me. “So the pretty girl from the bar has a bratty side, does she?”

Hooking his finger into the lace and pulling it to the side, I can’t help the way my lips pop open as his tongue moves through my center, the tip of his tongue swirling around my throbbing clit before pulling away.

“Niall—“

“You know, I like brats.” Pressing a soft kiss to my thigh, his nails drag down the back of my thighs before peeling the scrap of material from my body. “So by all means— Keep going.”

Before I can formulate a response, he buries his face between my legs and when he suctions his lips around my clit, it feels like all I can do is not to unravel right then and there. Burying my hands in his hair, I moan out as he goes back and forth between tracing mindless patterns across the sensitive nerve and flicking his tongue in a rhythm that doesn’t even seem humanly possible.

“So fucking sweet.” Resting his head on my lower stomach, I take a second to catch my breath before feeling his finger as he drags it through the wetness he’s created. “I bet this cunt is so tight, so warm.”

Pressing one finger inside, he only draws it back to add a second one before hooking them both forward and finding the spot that only those few and far between have been able to find.

“Niall, oh god—“ Letting go of his soft brunette waves, I let my fingers slide up my belly until they find the silver piercings on my chest, messing with them to add another level to the pleasure he’s giving me. “That feels so good, so damn good.”

“Let me.” Moving my hands out of the way, he grips my heavy breast in his hand before flicking the metal and making me cry out. “Put your hands up— Over your head.”

I do as I’m told just as he finds his home between my legs again, the sounds coming from the back of his throat making me whimper louder than I even knew was possible. Especially when he lifts my leg over his shoulder, his tongue working in tandem with his fingers as he eats me with fervor— as if he hasn’t had a drop of water in a desert for years.

“Are you going to come for me like this? Against my front door?” Nipping the sensitive nerve, I feel my walls flutter against his fingers. “How many times has someone made you come before, Willow?”

My eyes flutter closed as he sucks and licks me like never before, his fingers pressing harder inside of me. “Thr—Fuck, three.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Those words are the last ones I hear before he brings me to a pleasure I’ve never known.

“Fuck!” Letting my mouth fall open, I cry out as my orgasm crashes through my body. “Niall.“

He stands up to tower over me, cupping my jaw and letting his fingers dig into my cheeks, a silent question.

When I nod and open my mouth, he lets his saliva mixed with my release gather on his tongue before letting it fall into my waiting mouth.

“Perfect— You are literally perfect.” Crashing his lips to mine, when his hands slide down my thighs, I let him wrap them around his waist before he turns us away from the door. “I’m going to have so much fun making a mess out of you— wrecking you.”

His lips move against mine in a slower kiss than before, taking his time.

I pull back from him just enough to see the dark walls of his bedroom, the bed looking like a cloud from the fluffy sheets and the half made duvet spread across the top.

Niall sits in the edge of the bed, his hands moving across my ass at the same time he drops his lips to my neck, leaving wet kisses down until he takes one of my nipples into his mouth.

“Oh, yes.” Barely a whisper, the sensation of his warm mouth along with his tongue flicking across the metal makes me arch my back. “More.”

Releasing one and doing the same with the other, he pulls away too soon. “Get on your knees first.”

“And if I say no?” I gripping the hair at the base of his neck, I pull until he has to tilt his head back to look up at me. “If I want to be a brat?”

A low laugh falls from his lips as he stands to his full height, turning so that he can drop me down onto the bed, reaching out and grabbing a fist full of my hair just hard enough that I feel the sting in my scalp.

From my scalp all the way to the spot between my legs.

“You want to be difficult? That’s fine.” Working the button of his pants, I bite my bottom lip in anticipation. “You can be difficult with my cock down your throat, yeah?”

When he releases my hair, his hands make quick work of his pants and briefs, shoving them to the floor and kicking them off to be forgotten until later before grabbing his shirt and adding that to the pile.

Just the sight before me makes me whimper.

A perfect amount of dark hair dusts across his chest and even matches the trimmed hair that leads to the most perfect cock that I’ve ever seen.

“Go on, put your mouth on me.” Gripping himself in his left hand, Niall presses the tip of his cock to my bottom lip, using it to pull it down to release it with with a pop. “Let me see how well I fit.”

Opening my mouth, I flick my tongue along the underside of his length, looking up at him through my lashes before closing my lips around him and drawing him in.

“Holy shit.” Dropping his hand, he threads it through my hair instead. “Just like that, baby.”

The small amount of praise makes me take him deeper, letting my tongue run along the thick vein that decorates him. His hand in my hair tightens as he hits the back of my throat, a moan breaking through his lips.

“Open your throat for me, I know you can take more than that.” Niall demands.

Doing just that, I let my jaw relax and when he pushes even further, the intrusion makes my throat restrict— gagging around him and feeling tears rush to the corners of my eyes.

“Again—“

Pushing forward, this time I let him rest at the back of my throat for a couple more seconds before pulling back, using my fist to work him over as I catch my breath.

I don’t waste time before taking him back in my mouth, keeping my eyes on his as I taste the saltiness of him, wishing more than anything he would give me everything— to let me swallow everything he could give me.

“I can’t—“ Shaking his head, Niall pulls back. “You’re mouth feels too good, Will—“

The shortened version of my name makes butterflies erupt in my stomach, ones that I immediately have to tamper down at the reminder that this is what it is.

One night.

A nickname means nothing.

“You’re ruining my fun.” I say with a pout, looking up at him.

“I am?” He grins as he looks down at me, his tongue rolling across the inside of his cheek as I nod. “Fuck, then around and keep your hands where I can see them.”

Eager to please, I maneuver around the mattress until I face away from him, letting my palms run across the soft sheets until they extend in front of me while Niall drops his hands to my ass.

“Willow, were you being honest when you said nothing was off the table for you?” Smooth palms work small circles across my skin.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I catch Niall’s gaze looking at where he wants to be buried, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I was being honest— Do your worst, Niall.”

Before I can finish my last breath, he raises his palm and brings it down across my skin making me cry out at the sting of pain.

“How’s that feel?” He asks, bending to press a kiss to the area. “ Feel good?”

“Yes, yes—“

Another sting across the opposite side, this one harder than the other as he squeezes my flesh in his hand. “Good, good girl.”

After a few more stinging strikes, I can feel my arousal as it drips between my thighs, the need for him so strong that I don’t know how to even possibly control it.

“Niall, I need more— Please, give me more.” I beg.

“Tell me now… Do you want me to get a condom?” Voice thick, his lips press to the middle of my bare back as he bends over me, letting his hands run over my breasts and toy with my nipples. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“No, no.” Shaking my head, I breathe out. “I get tested and I’m clean.”

“I am too.” Warm breath skates across my back. “I can show you the results.”

Rolling my lips together, I whimper. “Don’t make me wait— I need to feel you inside of me.”

Niall presses one last kiss to the center of my back before I feel the blunt head of his cock as he runs it through my center, coating himself in me.

If I thought he was going to say something— I was wrong.

Instead, he grips my hips in his hands and buries himself so deep inside of me that my cries seem to ricochet off the walls from feeling him filling me.

“So fucking perfect.” He says, pulling out to the very tip before slamming back into me and pulling my ass up to meet his thrusts. “My cock fits so well inside you. Can you feel how greedy this little cunt is, huh?”

“Oh— Oh my god—“ A moan slips from my lips as he punishes me for things I haven't even done, his grip no doubt leaving bruises of his fingertips behind. “Fuck, Niall. You’re so fucking deep.”

From behind me, I can hear the sound of his hips meeting my ass, each one more punishing and relentless than the last. Niall lets his hands slide from my hips to my ass, moving just right so that when I hear the spit leave his lips and land perfectly on his cock, I feel myself racing towards another climax.

“I can feel you squeezing me, are you going to give me another one of your pretty moans? Coat my cock?” Bringing his palm down against my skin, my knuckles turn white as I grip the sheets. “Who would have known you were this fucking filthy.”

“Right there, please don’t stop!” The cry from my lips leaves my mouth open as I choke around the moan that follows it. “I’m going to come again. Oh fuck, right there. Please.”

Niall buries himself with such power that my release lets go, barreling towards the finish line as my teeth bite down on the comforter as I push my face into the bed. “God, Willow— You’re squeezing my cock so fucking good, holy fuck.”

He pulls out of me only to pull me to the edge of the bed and roll me over, sinking himself back inside of me, making my back arch off the bed while my hands reach for anything to hold onto.

“I could spend days buried inside of you and not get enough.” Meeting my gaze, Niall slows his thrust as he rolls his hips, grinding the base of his cock against my clit. “A night isn’t enough. Play with those pretty piercings for me, Will, please.”

Using both of my hands, I pinch and play with the sensitive peaks, giving the attention that I love and loving the way his eyes feel as they travel from my eyes all the way down my body to watch where he sinks inside of me.

“Harder, I need it harder—“ I say, biting my bottom lip.

Niall leans over the bed, his hand wrapping around the base of my throat, squeezing just enough to restrict my airway. “You want to be fucked like a slut? Is that what I’m hearing?”

Only able to nod, my voice catches in my throat as he picks up his pace and thrust into me so hard that my back slides up the sheets of the bed. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah?” Sweat drips down the side of his neck as he hovers over me, those blue eyes flaring with unbridled lust. “How’s that?”

“So good.” I moan, my nails scratching down his chest and over the muscles of his stomach. “I feel, god. Your cock feels so good.”

“I’ve never been buried inside someone that feels like this.” He moans, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “Strangling my fucking cock. and trying to kill my for everything I have.”

Dragging his hands away from my neck, his hand splays wide across my chest as he pushes me into the mattress. “Come on baby, I can feel you ready to soak me again— Give it to me, let me have it.”

“No. I want—“

Niall groans as he brings his thumb to my mouth, pushing it in deep enough that I gag before he drops it to my clit, working circles around the nerve as I cry out his name so loud that if he had neighbors close enough they’d never have to wonder what his name is.

“Stop being difficult, fuck.” Thrusting into me, he drops his head to mine and pulls my bottom lip between his teeth. “Come around me, now.”

Giving over the control of my body, Niall fucks me as I release around him again, coating his cock and soaking the sheets as he drops his head to my neck, sucking the skin between his teeth.

“There you go, look how perfect you are when you listen.” Low and rough, his voice is like gravel. “Such a fucking good girl for me, Willow.”

I nod, feeling empty as he pulls out of me and grips my knees, pushing them apart to look down at my weeping cunt, the mess he created.

“Fuck.”

Dropping down, he wastes no time before taking my clit into his mouth, the suction so hard that it sends me spiraling into another orgasm and coating his tongue with my release, making me squirm on the sheets.

“Niall, I— I can’t, my god—“

“Get up, let me see you dripping for me.” Niall runs his tongue along his bottom lip. “I’m not done with you.”

“I—“

“Now.” His palm cracks across the side of my breast, making my breath ragged as he fists his cock, taking a step back from the bed and reaching for my ankle to drag me to the edge. “Stand up and bend over. Take my cock like the good girl you are.”

I scramble to stand up, my legs already feeling weak as he grips my hips and turns us to face the dresser along his wall, the oversized mirror hanging above it.

“You’re going to watch me fuck you in this mirror— Watch as I fill this cunt to the brink with me, do you understand me?” Wrapping my hair around his fist once, twice— he tugs on it when I don’t answer. “Fucking answer me, you slut.”

Nodding, I rest my elbows along the top of the dresser. “Give it to me, please.”

“There’s that nice girl I met at the bar.” He smiles at me. “You are so perfect, so beautiful.”

Slower than anything else we’ve done tonight, Niall pushes inside of me; it feels like every single ridge and vein touches the right spot inside of me, filling me up so full that it brings tears to my eyes.

“You gonna cry over this cock?” Pushing harder, Niall places his hands on the outside of my arms flat on top of the dresser, the heat between our bodies an inferno as his sweat slicked skin moves across mine. “Cry over how fucking good we fit— Cry over how well you’re taking me— Taking me so deep?”

Shaking my head, I find his eyes in the mirror. “I can’t—“

“You can.” Niall presses forward, my legs shaking as he reaches around to bring his fingers to my clit and working the sensitive nerve into tight circles. “You can take it, and you fucking will.”

“Niall—“

“You’re going to come all over me again and then l’m going to fill this perfect pussy so full that you’ll be dripping down your thighs for me.” For the first time, his voice falters as I feel his thrusts foster for just a second. “Then maybe I’ll be done with you.”

Pushing up onto the tips of my toes, the new angle causes me to cry out, my hands sliding along the wood and pushing a stack of shirts to the floor at the same time that Niall’s scream blends with mine as he empties himself so deep inside of me that it feels like I can’t breath.

Fucking me through both of our orgasms, I feel the tears as they stream down my cheeks at the same time I gasp for air to fill my lungs.

“Fuck, Willow— Fuck—“ Niall grips my hips as he slowly pulls out of me, his eyes trained between my legs. “Look at that.”

Dropping to his knees, I let my head fall onto my arm. “God.”

“I made such a mess of you.” Using his thumbs, he pulls me apart to watch as his release runs down the inside of my thighs. “I’ve never seen someone look so good coated in me, dripping my come.”

“Niall.” The words from my lips are hoarse as he stands up, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my spent body into his. “I’m so— so tired.”

“You did so good, baby.” Pressing a kiss to my temple, I let myself sink into his arms knowing that it’s a chance I won’t get again. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Carrying me to the bathroom, I don’t protest when he starts a bath and helps me climb inside, the warm water soothing me into a post sex state that I have never experienced before.

As he runs his hands over my body with a lavender body wash, I let my head rest against his chest from where he sits behind me, listening to him as he keeps telling me how good I was.

How good I am.

“You know, you could stay here.” Pressing a kiss to my shoulder, I close my eyes at his words. “Spend the night.”

Shaking my head, I turn to look at him. “This was a one night thing, we know that.”

“Exactly.” Pressing a lingering kiss to my lips, he runs the tip of his nose down the length of mine. “You staying the night is still just one night.”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I find myself nodding.

Which is exactly how I find myself curled into his side after a change of the sheets, an oversized Harley Davidson shirt pushed up over my stomach as Niall’s warm palm keeps me pulled into him as his warm and steady breath tickles the hair at the back of my neck.

I let myself relish in his warmth for thirty more minutes before I slip out from the sheets, taking one last look at him before making it to the living room and pulling on my jeans before calling a taxi.

Slipping away from the best sex I ever had and leaving without a note is hard, but it has to be done.

Niall and I were meant for one night and nothing more.

However, when I climb into my own bed still wrapped in that white shirt, I find myself wishing for the first time in a king that there was a potential for more.

That we would be more.

That Niall would want to be more.

With me.

—————

AHHHHH!!!!!

i’m so excited about this story and putting it out here for everyone to read!!! the second part is coming soon and i hope you like this!

-a🍀

[lieslostinsilence]

These lyrics will haunt me till the end:

And I'll be gone, gone tonight

The ground beneath my feet is open wide

The way that I've been holdin' on too tight

With nothing in between

[babbabi08]

I'm only 16 years old but I grew up with 1D, my sister has been a Direction since the beginning, so I grew up listening to and watching them, I feel like they're distant older brothers, who comfort and welcome me through their music. I love them so much, I love Liam so much. I hope that now he can finally be at peace without suffering and feeling pain, that he is well received wherever he is. We love uu Liam🤍 Rest in peace!! 🕊

(I still can't believe it, it's a pain that I'll definitely never get over, but at some point I'll have to get used to it and learn to live with it, because my life goes on and I know it's hard to say this but it's the honest truth. I hate thinking about the fact that I'll never be able to see the 5 of them together again. I'm so sorry Liam that you went through this and all this suffering. I wish comfort and love to your family, friends, fans and your son Bear, who unfortunately will have to grow up without his father. But know that we'll always tell him how incredible, talented and certainly a great person his father was. Thank you Liam for coming into this world and making me who I am today, because you and the boys of 1D greatly influenced who I am. I love you yesterday, I love you today and I love you always.)

[beacarrot]

Yes, I think I'm doing it again. One day without you turned into a week, and soon it will become a month, but I refuse to let it stretch to a year, ten years… This text is another open letter to share my experience, especially the grief of losing Liam Payne.

I've been a One Direction fan since I was 14. I discovered the band because of Liam, who, back in his “fetus era,” looked like an Australian actor I had a crush on. One day, while browsing the internet, I came across the name “One Direction.” Honestly, I didn’t feel anything phenomenal in that moment; I had no idea how much that name would change my life and my youth as a whole. I didn’t imagine the hours of research, the nearly one hundred songs memorized, the posters, the fan theories I still hope are true, the Pinterest boards full of images, the photo edits of myself with the boys just to get a taste of what it might be like to be near those five special guys. Fanfiction, imagines… the list goes on.

In the beginning, I even mocked their songs, calling them cliché. A few months later, I knew all the lyrics AND the dance from “Best Song Ever" video clip. Life has a way of transforming our paths when we least expect it, when we’re lost enough for any path to seem fine. But life is generous and shows us the "right direction."

The truth is, it was October 16, 2024. I was coming home from school, crying, and, strangely enough, I had no idea that Liam had passed. I’d been introspective in recent days, reflecting on my last months at school and my amazing friends in class. I’d been listening to One Direction more than usual, and that very day I’d listened to “Stand Up”! I got home and was getting ready to go out again; it was almost 7 p.m.

I remember precisely: my mom looked at me with that expression she used to soften bad news, but it didn’t hide her own anxiety. She said, “I want you to hear this from me, but it’s not someone in the family.” I widened my eyes, jeans halfway on. I felt calm; if it wasn’t family, it wouldn’t hurt that much. But then she said it was something about the band and that one of them had fallen from a hotel balcony and was in bad shape.

My heart skipped one, two, maybe five beats. I don’t remember my tone of voice, but I know it was loud, trying to make my mom remember who it was. When she said “Liam,” I still thought, “Well, he just got hurt, but he’s alive, right?”

“Is he okay?” I asked, near panic. Truly, I wasn’t considering the possibility that he could have passed. But my mom’s words echoed: “No… unfortunately, he’s living with God know.”

My world stopped. I wasn’t even fully dressed, and I started shouting Liam’s name over and over, as if trying to confirm the reality, as if pleading for an answer from the heavens. I looked at the photo beside my bed, which I’ll include in this post, and messaged my friends who were also fans. I cried uncontrollably. I smoked so much in those days that I literally got sick, with a sore throat. Only my mom, my friends from youth group, and school saw my true state. Edu, thank you for putting up with my grotesque sobs on your shoulder. I adore you, friend!

The first night was a nightmare, a heavy and negative energy settled in, but I was clinging to the hope that with sunrise, something might change. But it didn’t. The sun rose, and I relived everything in my head, going over the story, just wishing it was truly a nightmare. I think no one has the right to talk about someone else’s pain. Grief is an individual experience, full of complicated nuances.

I’ve been alternating between suffering, crying to the point of dehydration, listening to the songs while every line hurts. There’s the denial phase, when it feels like it didn’t happen; that Liam is out there somewhere, and we’re still in 2012. Then, the reality drops like a piano falling. And there’s anger: “Is this real? He was so young!” And finally, moments of acceptance, when I smile at the memories and look at the photos, though I’m not completely there yet. Grief isn’t a straight line; you repeat and get lost in these stages, and no one should blame themselves for that.

People have lost the capacity for empathy and humanity. It doesn’t matter if Liam didn’t know me; I knew him. Not personally, of course—he had layers, and that’s one reason we couldn’t imagine how he was self-destructing. But he was a singer with an amazing stage presence, always sweet and attentive with the fans, a real warrior in his personal life, and he certainly made his share of mistakes. He lost his way on the crazy road of life, fame, money, media, relationships, addiction; it drained the hope from that 16-year-old boy who didn’t give up on "The X Factor". Liam is a legend.

There are days I can laugh, listening to the songs and remembering their silly dances, like when I watched “This Is Us” two days after his death. I thought I’d cry, but those boys never make me cry; they only make me smile. What makes me cry are the circumstances surrounding 1D. On other nights, I cry knowing there was nothing I could do. The closest I ever got to him was in a dream once, where the boys were having a party at my house. Liam was sitting in the corner of my room, the same spot where I was when I found out he’d passed. I walked over, asked him about Louis and Zayn, and hugged him. It was a sweet, protective hug. That’s my comfort: imagining his face painted in the beautiful blue sky, knowing he was lost and needed rest. I’ll continue with my contradictory life, and when things get hard and tough here on Earth, I’ll smile because he'll be far away and safe, no longer needing to deal with it all.

I’m still hesitant about watching his funeral online. Since finding out, I’ve stepped back from social media. It cleanses my soul to know I didn’t contribute to the hate, negative energy, dirty jokes, or nasty comments thrown his way, in real life or online. I learned from Liam; I let myself be touched by his essence, loving him completely, and I learned to see the world through the lens of songs and art. Words won’t be enough, Liam. This is not a defective goodbye. I still need you, and even if I can’t see you with my eyes, you’ll live forever.

I can't post something that is not just about it, but I will just continue posting some things because they were already ready before I knew about his death.

Gratitude and strength to all!

I don't like to put black pictures blank in these moments because I don't think it's right black and white because Liam brought and still bring so much color to us.

We love you Liam, our eternal red.❤️

[ignitedminds27]

45 Days to send Liam with love and happiness.

To all the fellow Directioners from around the world who are reposting and liking the memorial services of their country and others. I'm so happy to see you all. Especially some of them are old fan accounts on Tumblr, and yes, I recognize y'all. It's like back to 1D time and it feels nostalgic seeing y'all.

It's sad that instead of One Direction Reunion we are connecting at this sad and tragic hour of loss but, for the love we all share for our boys and today for our beloved Liam❤️ I would humbly request fellow Directioners to share your stories about the first you saw or heard the 1D song, been to their concert, met them, they replied to your tweet, also waging war on Twitter for the boys, running hashtags like #ProtectLiam. Everything.

Tells us what Liam means to you and what the band means to you. I know that not everyone is verbally expressive about their emotions, so please don't hesitate to share your love the way you express it usually: through art, poetry, photo collage, video, etc.

I said the Tumblr memorial will be on October 20, but where I come from, in my culture, it is said that the soul of the deceased stays with their loved ones and visits people who love them for 45 days. That means Liam is right here with us, seeing all the love all of us are pouring. It also means he can see us cry and mourn him. My question to Directioners all over the world is, are we going to send him off with tears and sadness? Are we really going to send the man who wanted to make others smile and be happy with our tears and despair? Or are we going to send him with happy memories and love that he so very deserves?

If you are like me who chooses to send him with happiness and love do share your love for him here too because there are many Directioners on Tumblr who are lovers and are currently going through this pain alone with their own set of personal struggles. Liam wouldn't like any single person to worsen their condition because of him.

ONE DIRECTION AND DIRECTIONERS ARE ONE FAMILY. We got each other's back and so do we have this responsibility to our fellow Directioners who are in the same boat as us.

ONE BAND, ONE DREAM, ONE DIRECTION.

Do It For Liam