#1990's power pop

[thesecretdiaryofa90sgirl]

The Spice Girls

[ljaesch]

Set Review: Prince and the New Power Generation - "Diamonds And Pearls" (2023 Reissue)

On October 27, 2023, Prince and the New Power Generation’s Diamonds And Pearls received a reissue in several formats: a Super Deluxe seven CD/Blu-ray box set, a Super Deluxe 12 LP/Blu-ray box set, Super Deluxe audio-only download and streaming, a two CD Deluxe Edition, a four LP 180g vinyl Deluxe Edition, a single CD remastered album, a two LP 180g vinyl reissue, and download and streaming…

[artjipson]

Video of The Day: The Pursuit of Happiness - She's So Young

In the era of 90s alternative rock, The Pursuit of Happiness emerged as a jangly powerpop force, weaving tales of love, longing, and the tumultuous journey through a conflicted maze of human emotions. Among their repertoire of hits, “She’s So Young” stands as a beautiful jangly gem, capturing the essence of youthful passion and the bittersweet symphony of burgeoning adulthood versus the slow…

[kisslovegoodbye]

Shuhada' Sadaqat (8 December 1966 – 26 July 2023)

Sinéad O'Connor is widely regarded as one of the most influential female performers of the 90s, not only for her sensational performances and raw vocal emotion but also for her outspoken confidence to express herself publicly.

Sinéad was born in Dublin in 1966, and was discovered by Paul Byrne, drummer of U2 protégés In Tua Nua, while singing wedding covers in the city. After co-writing the first In Tua Nua single, she left school to focus on music, studying voice and piano at the Dublin College of Music. She relocated to London in 1985.

Her debut album, The Lion and the Cobra produced two alternative hits ‘Troy’ and ‘Mandinka’ and would go on to be one of 1987’s most critically acclaimed LPs. Follow up, 1990’s I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got confirmed her as a major artist with the Prince-written Nothing Compares 2 U reaching number 1 in the UK, the US and globally.

A series of public gestures have tended to interrupt the critical focus on O’Connor’s artistry including her infamous performance on SNL where she ripped up a photograph of Pope John Paul II. However, Sinéad’s ability to move through Pop, Rock, Folk, Reggae and incorporate multiple influences into her complex and powerful sound is in evidence all throughout her now three-decade long career.

Her death comes a year after the mother-of-four's son Shane, 17, took his own life in January 2022 after escaping hospital while on suicide watch. 

Farewell, beloved one...

[moodboardmix]

Ryuichi Sakamoto (January 17, 1952 - March 28, 2023)

Professor Sakamoto was one of Japan’s most successful musicians, acclaimed for work in Yellow Magic Orchestra as well as solo albums and film scores.

As a member of Yellow Magic Orchestra alongside Haruomi Hosono and Yukihiro Takahashi, Sakamoto created joyous and progressive electronic pop in the late 1970s and early 1980s, alongside solo releases. He acted alongside David Bowie in the 1983 film Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence and composed its Celebrated theme, the first in a series of film scores including Oscar-winning work in 1987 with David Byrne and Cong Su for Bernardo Bertolucci’s The Last Emperor.

Alongside YMO, Sakamoto continued releasing solo albums including 1980’s B-2 Unit, another influence on the robotically funky sound of electro that also foreshadowed other dance music styles. After focusing purely on solo work, he forged further connections in the west, collaborating with musicians including Iggy Pop, Robert Wyatt, Laurie Anderson, David Sylvian and more. Sylvian contributed Forbidden Colours, a vocal version of one of Sakamoto’s most famous works, the theme to second world war drama Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. Sakamoto also starred in the film as a prisoner of war camp commander.

Following The last Emperor (in which he also had an acting role), he collaborated with Bernardo Bertolucci again for The Last Buddha, and with Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence director Nagisa Oshima for Gohatto. He also scored two films by Brian De Palma (Snake Eyes and Femme Fatale), plus Wild Palms for Oliver Stone, High Heels for Pedro Almodóvar, the 1990 film adaptation of The Handmaid’s Tale, and more. His 2015 score for Alejandro González Iñárritu’s film The Revenant was nominated for Golden Globe, Bafta and Grammy awards. In 2019, he composed the music for an episode of dystopian TV drama series Black Mirror. He took no further acting roles, aside from appearing as a film director in Rain, a music video for Madonna.

Mr Sakamoto released a steady schedule of solo releases throughout the 1990s and onwards, and wrote a piece for the opening ceremony of the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona. In 1999 he debuted the multimedia opera project Life, in collaboration with artist Shiro Takatani with contributions from Bertolucci, Pina Bausch and more. He and Takatani extended the concept into installation work from 2007 onwards.

Also in 2007, he began the ambitious Schola project, curating 17 compilations of global music ranging from composers such as Ravel and Beethoven to Japanese pop. It was released via his record label Commons, set up in 2006, which has also released work by artists including Boredoms and OOIOO.

In 2002, he began a fruitful partnership with German musician Carsten Nicolai, who used his Alva Noto alias for four collaborative albums of minimalist electronica.

Mr Sakamoto was also an environmental campaigner, opposing the use of nuclear power, and creating the forestry project More Trees to enable carbon offsetting.

Ryuichi Sakamoto - Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence

[randomvarious]

1990s Indie Rock Playlist

Fucking finally! A 90s indie rock playlist for Spotify! I've had a YouTube version of this one for a few years now—and that one is both significantly better and longer—but now you all have *something* that's a whole lot more easily accessible too 👍.

Now, it's not really easy to describe what exactly makes an indie rock song an indie rock song in the first place, but you tend to know it when you hear it; and with this first iteration of a Spotify version of this playlist, we start with a total of 11 songs that run from shoegazey, noisy fuzz to smoother and more melodic power pop-leaning college rock stuff. And we've got a couple very brief explorations of specific scenes here too, with a few tunes from mid-90s Australia and then a handful from late 90s Philadelphia.

Plus, most of these are pretty dang obscure as well, with most selections having play counts somewhere in the low single-thousands; but we kick off with a total, unmissable classic: "Ginger" by Washington, D.C.'s Lilys, a song and band that I first discovered in the most unlikeliest of ways as a completely random bonus track on a retrospective 80s synthpop and new wave comp that celebrated beloved Bay Area radio DJ Steve Masters 😂. This killer 1993 tune is by far this playlist's most popular one, currently sitting at over 377K plays.

This playlist is ordered as chronologically as possible.

Lilys - "Ginger" Even - "Stupid Dream" Flanders - "Shameless" Challenger 7 - "Wait a Lifetime" Transient Waves - "Wavelength" Sunbirds - "Rocket" Line - "Hollow" Photon Band - "Here Comes Some Changes" Intro to India - "The World Is Waiting" Lenola - "Sids" The Asteroid No. 4 - "Tricks of the Trade"

But as I mentioned up top, there's a whole lot more great stuff on the YouTube version of this playlist, which contains more than double the amount of songs that are on the Spotify one, and thus I think really cements its own status as being a genuinely indie playlist, because you can't find most of it on any of the streaming platforms!

With this superior version, we've got tunes from the early 90s, including a much less known version of Brian Jonestown Massacre's "Evergreen," and a great, slow, and heavy one called "Salvation" by Los Angeles' Sacred Miracle Cave. Then we head up to Canada for a bunch of tunes from the Sonic Unyon label, including a few tracks by Treble Charger (aka NC17), whose "Red" has been rated by many as one of the single-greatest Canadian alt rock tunes of the entire decade. And there's a music video in this Canadian section too, for a spacey gem by SIANspheric called "I Like the Ride." 🚀🤘

Then after that, we head down to the mid-90s Philly scene, with the deeply underheard "Calling All Cars" by Slumber, which only has 77 plays, and The Asteroid No. 4's "Car Thief Millenia," which only has 95 plays. And then to close out, we have a couple tunes from Cali label Devil in the Woods, with the catchy, keyboard-assisted "Dirt Bike Rider" by Snowmen, and a rare, live performance of "Snowball" by Modesto's Fiver.

The Charlottes - "Could There Ever Be" Sacred Miracle Cave - "Salvation" Spot 1019 - "HHH" The Brian Jonestown Massacre - "Evergreen Treble Charger - "Red" NC17 - "Cubicle" Sponge - "Colourful Hat" Eric's Trip - "Evie" By Divine Right - "Out of It" SIANspheric - "I Like the Ride" Treble Charger - "Even Grable" The Asteroid No. 4 - "Car Thief Millenia" Slumber - "Calling All Cars" Snowmen - "Dirt Bike Rider" Fiver - "Snowball"

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

Now, you've probably never heard of almost any of these bands before, but I promise you that there is a metric ton of gold in this collection of songs. Go and hop in your '94 Taurus and cruise the highway with this thing; you will not regret it.

Spotify playlist is 11 songs and runs for 53 minutes, but the YouTube one is 26 songs and runs for 118 minutes. So if you want more of this terrific indie shit, you know which of these options to choose.

Next week we'll be taking an eclectic trip out to late 90s San Francisco.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[17-noodlebird]

World Three = The Fair Land Of Medievia

🏰👑👸🦄💂🐸🧜‍♀️🧚🧞‍♂️

~~~~

Jewel: Rhodochrosite

Power: Crystals

Color: Mauve

Theme: Fairytale Princesses & The Middle Ages

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Objective:

Go on a quest to save the fair Princess of Medievia from an evil dragon and bring her to her Prince Charming.

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Chapter III: Your Princess Is In Another Castle

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The third episode/chapter pays homage to the “Shrek” franchise from DreamWorks, the Disney Renaissance movies of the 1990’s, the classic fairytale tropes, fables, and nursery rhymes of your childhood, the medieval era kingdoms of the past, and the “bedtime story” movie plot from your favorite movies.

The episode begins on an unconventional note, where the first scene is that of a live action mom and her daughter getting ready for bed, while pop music plays in the background. The two talk about what a wonderful day it has been, as the daughter asks her mom to read her a bedtime story. As the mom rummages through some classic fairy-tales, she stumbles upon a mauve-colored storybook, of which she never read to her daughter before, and asks if she would like for her to tell the story of “The Kinger & His Knight”. Upon questioning about the alleged misspelling of the word “King”, the mom shrugs it off, saying she herself has never read it either and that she found it at a flea market one day. The mom decides to read the story to her daughter, starting with the iconic words: “Once upon a time…”

The camera zooms in to the interior of the book, where from here on out, the mom becomes this episode’s narrator as we meet Team Circus yet again in the Magical Digital Van, all while Pomni and Kinger sing along to “All Star” by Smash Mouth, with Caine behind the wheel, as usual. When Pomni excitedly asks to play the song again, Bubble, who is feeling anxious right now, says that she and Kinger have played that song six times already, with Jax replying that enough might be enough for them all. None of that matters now as Valerie (who had been on a phone call with Caine via one of the Communicator Bracelets) tells them that they have arrived at their next destination, The Fair Land Of Medievia.

Medievia looks just like a kingdom from the Middle Ages, with a beautiful castle, a medieval town, commoners walking amongst the beautifully-dressed aristocrats, all while sharing the same theme of the medieval era, with knights, princes, princesses, and bards. As Team Circus looks around in awe over how well-detailed this town is (the animation style of this place is reminiscent to that of the classic Disney movies), Caine and Bubble try to find a place where they can stay, using some of the money left over from the previous episode, and it's there that we are greeted by a traveling bard by the name of Stumpulot, a flutist who is in search of a permanent residence as well as a well-paying job, whom Pomni immediately befriends after sharing that the she and her friends also need a place to stay since they're tourists from a different area. The two proceed to sing about their new friendship and the things they share in common. (How exactly would that work? I don't suppose anyone would want to hear a Lizzie Freeman and Patrick Stump duet, do they?)

We cut back to the live-action daughter asking why this bedtime story is a musical all of a sudden, before the mom answers that it just is, before showing her the lyrics and music sheet of the song that Pomni and Stumpulot just sang. The daughter's only reply is a flat “Oh.”

We cut back AGAIN to Team Circus, who are having a lunch break in a tavern called “The Triskelion”, where Pomni and Stumpulot storm into the tavern, and they beg like little kids if he can join them on their adventure, puppy dog eyes and all. At first Caine refuses, voicing his skepticism from the last time they trusted someone, but after Ragatha and Jax of all people join in on the cutesy pleading, he gives in, and allows the bard to join them. Hooray!! Through Zooble's assistance, they were able to find a nice cozy area where they can stay for the night, called the Fox Inn. As Team Circus settles into their room for the night, Kinger puts on a movie via Bubble's communicator bracelet, and he chooses Shrek 2. Stumpulot comments that Medievia used to have such whimsical characters (i.e., the fairytale characters everyone knows and loves) back in the day before the King decided that they were simply too much and relocated them somewhere else in the kingdom. While Pomni tries to enjoy the movie, she can't help but think to herself what might have happened to these characters.

The next morning, at like 4:45 AM, the room service lady, named Janiss, wakes the still sleeping group to inform them that everyone in the kingdom (yes, even the visitors) are invited to the King's Grand gala to celebrate his daughter's Sweet 16 — already, they can tell just how unapologetically self-indulgent the guy is. Kinger is, for some reason, the only one excited because of his belief that he himself is royalty (as seen in the canon pilot), so this is his chance to actually impress someone like him, much to Caine's concerns. The two have a conversation as the others get dressed for the gala (eat up Royalteeth shippers!), with Kinger musing how much Queenie would have loved to attend an actual party hosted by a member of royalty, and Caine just praying that everything will work out in the end, as so far, nothing has gone wrong, which only fills the ringmaster with so much dread. Kinger remarks that this is the first time the two have actually talked like actual close friends since Queenie's abstraction and yet, there's still a rift between the two of them. The chess piece asks if everything is okay, to which Caine just responds with the usual “I'm fine”. Like he had been for years now. “Well, if you need anything, you can always come talk to me. I miss having you with me all the time.” Kinger replies.

Team Circus, now fully dressed like medieval characters at a ball, head towards the castle on foot, with Pomni remarking to Ragatha that Kinger hasn't acted like his kooky self since they got to Medievia, no dissociating, no easily being startled, and no short term memory loss. Perhaps it would be because this place makes him feel right at home, but she can't be too sure. Ragatha comments that while she isn't completely in the know, she has heard stories that Kinger used to be this grandfatherly figure that everyone looked up to, even Caine for some reason. The ragdoll can only hope that side of him will come back to him eventually.

With this, they arrive at the castle gates, to be greeted by a plump, Santa Claus-esque man dressed in silver, pale blue, and periwinkle, all while wearing a golden crown, who introduces himself as King Cloudbeard, through excited handshakes for each of the members of Team Circus. As they walk inside the castle's throne room itself, they are greeted to a large crowd of equally dressed guests of the kingdom, from other royals, to nobility, the working class, the commoners, and even the most destitute of peasants, all with varying degrees of color and flamboyance. The throne room is decorated with a sparkling gold and diamond-encrusted chandelier, with at least four tables of different gourmet snacks to try out, with an empty giant plate being reserved for the princess’s birthday cake for later. Speaking of the princess, King Cloudbeard’s daughter, Princess Purity, is listlessly listening to the cacophony of the party, wearing that cliché Disney Princess face of “wanting more out of life than her privileged upbringing” on her designated throne next to her father's. King Cloudbeard is happily asking how Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl, two nobles of Medievia, are enjoying the party, which only gets eyerolls from the lord and lady, making the King's face droop with sadness.

An hour and 45 minutes pass, and Team Circus is most enjoying themselves, with the occasional influx of new guests arriving, the sound of minstrels playing different songs on their flutes, fiddles, lutes, and drums, thousands of conversations, debates, and arguments filling the air, and the damn chandelier blinding those who look at the lights for too long.

Stumpulot and Pomni take a look around the throne room and find themselves enamored with the food in the table, which consist of sliders, green bean casseroles, slices of honey glazed ham, brownies, cookies, raspberries, blackberries, cherries, thousands of plates, forks, spoon, knives, sporks, and cups, in one section of one of the four tables, and four punch bowls consisting of pink lemonade, regular lemonade, Dr. Pepper, and grape juice each, among others (to which diplomat Rionna curtly retorts that all that good food is making her hungry). When Pomni finds the King sulking near one of the food tables, she asks what's wrong, to which he replies that none of the people he wants to impress is actually enjoying the party; not even his daughter is in the spirits. Stumpulot then asks what's the giant plate for, to which the King answers it's for the birthday cake that's being presented very soon. Stumpulot and the King hit it off with each of them explaining their backstories to each other (the King's wife died recently while Stumpulot is homeless and in need of a place where he can belong) and sharing things they have in common, like wanting to make people happy. Pomni is just munching on the sliders as she watches.

Kinger takes a moment to admire the scenery, when he stumbles upon the lord and lady King Cloudbeard had just talked to. Kinger attempts to make small talk with the two, only getting snide insults from Lady Fowl as Lord Spaniel just waves his fan like a stuck-up prick. Another song ensues from the two, and it's treated like a diss track of some sorts. Gangle and Zooble are just hanging out with each other, as well as Ragatha and Jax, while Caine just stands amongst the crowd, trying to find something to do amongst the environment of bright lights, loud noises, and unfamiliar surroundings. Pomni finds her best friend Caine being idle and offers him a slider, which he politely declines. She asks what's wrong, though he tries to reassure her that he's okay, despite looking like he wants to get the hell out of here. The two have a heartfelt conversation, with Caine revealing why he doesn't know why he feels like this, or why he feels like he's always been this way, with Pomni trying to reassure him that he's not alone.

At last the birthday cake arrives and the whole crowd goes silent, with Princess Purity looking like she just witnessed a murder or something. Stumpulot catches up to Pomni and Caine as the royal chef prepares all sixteen candles (it's actually eighteen candles; the extra two are the 1 and 6 candles respectively), while King Cloudbeard makes a speech about how his daughter is finally growing up into the woman he knows she can be, mentioning how he wished his wife could be there for this momentous occasion, as he declares the whole reason why he invited everyone to the gala was so he can choose a proper suitor to marry off to the princess so she can rule Medievia one day, shocking, dismaying, and even disappointing the crowd that they had been lied to. Team Circus is noticeably not amused by this notion, with Ragatha declaring skepticism over the whole situation, only for him to justify that he had been betrothed to his wife at the age of 16, and his father before him, and his grandmother before him, and so on and so forth; it's an unyielding tradition that has been held up for generations. Princess Purity, enraged that her life is being decided for her, calls out King Cloudbeard for not even allowing the freedom she deserves, which he again tries to justify that he only wants to protect the only remaining remnant of his deceased wife. The crowd is now murmuring amongst themselves, with Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl looking at the King in venomous disapproval, much to the latter's horror on his face as he still tries to double down on his beliefs. Furthermore, it's revealed by King Cloudbeard in the increasingly heated verbal fight that the reason why the fairytale-esque characters are no longer in Medievia was because the Queen was killed by one when the Princess was just 14, much to the shock of everyone. Stumpulot gestures to Team Circus that they should leave as things have already gotten awkward enough. The party continues on without them, although the atmosphere is a lot more tense and somber with Princess Purity looking defeated.

Two more hours pass, and we are greeted to a scene with the princess, who is looking at the golden afternoon sky as she holds a goblet of grape juice in her hands, pensive about her outburst. Wanting to apologize for stepping out of line, she attempted to go back to the party, only to bump into a distinguished and handsome gentleman, a member of royalty by the name of Prince Steele. Noticing she just ruined his suit, Purity apologizes profusely, only to tell her that it's okay and that it was an accident. When he asks what's wrong, she tells him that she feels really bad for letting the secret out about her mother’s death and the resulting persecution of all whimsical characters in the aftermath, something she feels incredibly guilty over. He tells her that it's not her fault that her dad decided to be rash about certain things, only for her to tell her that he had always been this way, even before the Queen’s untimely murder, but tries to excuse it as the King just wanting to protect his daughter. The conversation continues with Steele revealing that he also has a harsh but loving mother that he wishes would understand things the way he does, leading to the two having their romantic “I Want” duet, waltzing and all. The song ends with a tiny hint that the two may have fallen in love with each other as they say their goodbyes, with Purity and Steele heading off in separate directions.

Immediately after, the screen fade transitions to Team Circus finally arriving back at the Fox Inn. Stumpulot apologizes for the botched party visit, which Pomni brushes off as a minor inconvenience (after all, she's experienced much worse back at the Amazing Digital Circus). Caine, who has remained silent throughout the whole journey back, just plops onto one of the beds and shuts off for the night. As Stumpulot and Pomni converse with each other, he reveals that he was originally born in the same place where the fairytale characters were relocated/exiled to, and has heard the story of how the Queen was murdered:

When the King and Queen took their daughter to see a play in the nursery rhyme district of Medievia, they were ambushed by feline crooks, similar to Puss in Boots, had all their possessions stolen, with Princess Purity and her mom, the Queen, being held hostage by the leader of the crooks. King Cloudbeard fought them off as best as he could, but in doing so, he watched the carriage he, his wife, and his daughter were in, get engulfed by flames. We are treated to a scene of the Queen shielding her daughter from the flames as she screams in agony, with King Cloudbeard wailing in grief. Shortly thereafter, the King signs a paper that declares that every last fairytale creature be relocated so that he'd never have to be reminded of what he had lost again. Pomni is horrified by the story (and even shedding tears), but still reminds herself that it doesn't excuse his harsh treatment of the fairytale characters. Stumpulot can only hope that the King changes his mind and apologizes for his mistakes, as everyone else goes to sleep for the night.

We cut back to Princess Purity, who is in her room eating a slice of her birthday cake, when she happily declares to herself that she's finally made her first friend after being isolated from everyone else her whole life. We then get a POV shot to a first person view of a mysterious thug, who knocks down her room’s door, approaches the princess as she frightenedly asks who they are, and the screen fades to black as she screams in terror.

The next morning, as Team Circus sulks throughout the Medievian village, tired from yesterday's events, they are all greeted by King Cloudbeard and Prince Steele (the latter of whom they have not met before), who have run on foot to ask for help. Understandably, Team Circus refuses to buy into their claims, citing that it was his fault for the birthday party gone wrong with his incessant insisting on his warped ideas of love, until they are introduced to Prince Steele, of whom the Princess had already chosen as her suitor, immediately subverting expectations much to Team Circus's disappointment, thinking that the King got to her head. Steele, after hastily introducing himself to the others, tells that the Princess was kidnapped by some unknown thugs. Thinking it might be those “pesky fairytale hooligans” again (which Stumpulot takes great offense to), he asks them, or rather demands them, to go to the Fairytale lands where the Princess might possibly be. It's a dangerous and arduous journey, with dark forests filled with creepy crawlies, temptations galore, and above all, villains lurking in every corner. As a result of Steele’s pleas and begging, all eight members of Team Circus receive a notification for their third objective on their communicator bracelets, meaning that they can no longer refuse the offer to help. Having been through a lot worse, Team Circus happily obliges, since that also means the possibility of finding the third jewel on their journey.

And so, the set off into the fairytale lands, such as the hill with a watering well (Jack and Jill), a gingerbread house (Hansel & Gretel), a mansion made out of straw, twigs, and bricks (Three Little Pigs), and even an ice castle (The Snow Queen), all while “Holding Out For A Hero” by Bonnie Tyler plays. The music only stops via a record needle scratch once Kinger declares that they've been going in circles the whole damn time after experiencing deja vu with some of the locations, most specifically the gingerbread house that caught Pomni’s eye. Understandably, Caine is ticked off, screaming into the sky in frustration, alerting a group of fairytale characters lead by a large troll with an apparent Scottish accent, a girl wearing a red hood, and a beast wearing a golden crown and a tattered suit, who is carrying a jewelry box with him. The red hooded lady asks if there seems to be a problem, to which Prince Steele replies yes in a quick manner, hyperventilating about the missing princess.

The trio are not happy because of their disdain for royalty after they somehow got banished for no apparent reason, as the bridge troll exclaims. The beast prince reveals that he had tried to rescue a princess once, but doesn't specify further details even when Pomni asks. When Jax frets over getting lost again (out of mostly exasperation, of course), diplomat Pamela teleports a map of the fairy-tale lands, where supposedly they'll be able to rescue the princess, and hopefully not get lost. “You mean to tell me this whole time you HAD A MAP!??!?” Caine yells out.

But before the overwhelmed ringmaster could get mad further, the map projects the locations in which they'll need to cross in order to rescue Princess Purity: The Blackberry Forest, Wonderland Lane, The Cave Of Covetousness, Mermaid Lake, and lastly, The Princess Tower (convenient naming there, eh?). The others are understandably frustrated by the cliche naming of where the princess could be held hostage. Before they could start their journey, Stumpulot introduces Team Circus to the new trio as Lynnard the Bridge Troll, Red Riding Hood, Prince Draught, and lastly, the Genie Of The Box, who is currently taking a nap in their cozy safe space that beast prince is carrying with him. Without further hesitation, Team Circus, Stumpulot, Prince Steele, and their new allies set a course for the Princess Tower, where Steele’s newfound love will be rescued.

As Team Circus heads off to their first location, each of the new allies have a pleasant conversation with the members of Team Circus, who all explain their own backstories to the fairytale friends, who in turn explain their backstories to the others, as well as Steele and Draught getting along splendidly. Kinger and Caine are also having a personal conversation of their own, having overheard Steele’s love story to Draught in the commotion, and the latter expressing suspicions to Prince Steele as he's not entirely too keen on the idea of love at first sight, despite Bubble’s interjection of the contrary (the sentiment antivirus software had indeed fallen in love at first sight himself), claiming that just because Caine doesn't believe in love at first sight, that doesn't no one else should believe it either. Before the conversation can progress further, they arrive at their first hurdle: The Blackberry Forest.

Yup. The Blackberry Forest is your typical scary dark forest seen in fairytales! It's pitch black in there, if it weren't for the flashlight feature on Pomni's communicator bracelet. Stumpulot warns the others of man-eating creatures known as Deermen and that any sudden noise could alert them to any “fresh meat”, recalling a time when he and his unnamed brother were playing around in the forest, only to get almost killed by one of the Deermen after they were being too loud that day. At first, they all try to remain as quiet as possible, with the occasional stepping on a twig, tiny yelps in fear, or even a simple gust of wind, until Prince Draught trips on a tree root, yelps out over dropping the jewelry box, alerting a Deerman of the group's whereabouts. As Prince Draught tries to find the jewelry box in complete darkness, Team Circus, Stumpulot, Red Riding Hood, and Lynnard, try to dodge the Deerman’s attacks, before Prince Draught decides to use his beast form to defeat it and protect his buddies, all while everyone tries to escape the forest. Ragatha finds the jewelry box while Jax finds a small ray of light, which leads out of the forest. As everyone else escapes, Prince Draught is seemingly lost to the Deerman. However, they have no time to grieve before they venture off to Wonderland Lane, albeit still in shock over the ordeal.

Wonderland Lane is, for lack of a better term, brain aneurysm-inducing, as its confusing twists and turns lead them to different areas of Wonderland Lane, from a mad hatter’s tea party, to a white rabbit’s house, to singing and talking flowers, and ultimately a rosebush that's been painted red. Pomni has already been accustomed to getting lost in liminal spaces, and thus is good at finding a way out of particular mazes, especially the whacky and colorful ones like this, for example. Caine, Kinger, and Bubble are struggling to get through the painted rose bushes, Jax and Ragatha are forced to participate in a tea party of craziness, hosted by the Mad Hatter and a talking hummingbird (instilling deja vu from Jax and Ragatha), Gangle and Zooble are navigating their way through a multicolored dog park (Gangle gets distracted by the cute puppies as a result), Pomni and Stumpulot are forced to escape a corridor of doors with doors (doorception) after attempting to ask for directions from a white hare, and Lynnard, Prince Steele, and Red are dragged into a flower concert, where it turns out the flowers are tone deaf. This is all while “One Little Slip” by Barenaked Ladies from Disney’s Chicken Little plays. But eventually, they all reunite, but not without falling into what appears to be a similar-looking rabbit hole from the Alice in Wonderland story they just witnessed, where it promptly leads to them getting trapped to their next location, the Cove of Covetousness.

Bubble complains exasperatedly that the map is stupid, just as everyone realizes that they lost the jewelry box. Once Caine and Pomni find the box, it's slightly damaged with the encrusted gems having fallen off and being covered in mud from the ordeal. Lynnard tries in vain to warn the two not to rub the box, but it's too late; after Caine cleans off the mud, the box opens to reveal the aforementioned Genie Of The Box, saying this introductory line: “Good morning, Vietnam! …Wait, this isn't Vietnam.”

Yeah. It turns out that the reason why the Genie was kept in stasis was because of how annoying she is. And this goes on for a long time, with the Genie chatting up a storm, as everyone else tries to find a way out of the cave. Arguments ensue from this. But before any of this escalates, the Genie points towards a door that leads them out of the treasure portion of the cave, leading everyone to stop what they're doing and realize that they were being stupid. The typical “easy solution is eventually found for comedic effect” schtick. As they walk the temple-like halls, the Genie and Stumpulot have a heart-to-heart, with the Genie's origins finally being explained to the audience as everyone else has their own conversations in the background. The cave of the Cove of Covetousness leads to an underwater section of the area that is Mermaid Lake, where, thanks to the Genie's underwater breathing bubbles that serve as helmets to everyone, they swim up to the surface and find the Princess Tower from afar, along with what appears to be a dragon.

The Genie conjures up a boat after Pomni accidentally wishes for one, before stating she has 22 wishes left. When Kinger asks why 23 wishes, Red answers that as annoying as the Genie is, she's fairly generous. Stumpulot, wanting to save what sanity is left for everyone, shuts the box, promptly putting the Genie back into stasis mode. They finally arrive at the location of the Princess Tower where Prince Steele eagerly gushes over Princess Purity's rescue. Stumpulot wonders how they'll be able to get past the dragon, but Steele recognizes the dragon as an old friend of his named Vermilla in his childhood days and the two catch up on the latest events, (much to everyone's confusion, anger, and shock as this was information that was never before revealed to them), and decides to talk to dragon, all while everyone tries and finds a secret entrance to the tower. Kinger briefly glances from behind what seems like a sinister grin, but brushes it off as yet another digital hallucination.

As the others trek their way through a cave-like corridor in the tower, they find another character who appears to be trapped in a dungeon-esque chamber. This character also appears to be of royalty, but looks strangely beaten and tattered, with a look of trauma on his face. He desperately warns them to turn back, and while Kinger, Stumpulot, Lynnard, and Red all look horrified and are convinced to leave at once, Pomni insists on continuing as they have a mission to complete. They all have completely forgotten the objective as a result of everything that went on beforehand, and as Jax tries to find a way to bail out the new character with his arsenal of keys, they find a spiral staircase that would supposedly lead to the rescue of the Princess…

…Instead it would lead them to a trap. Goddamnit. Welp, you know what they say, fool me once, shame on you. But fool me twice… damn. It's revealed that Princess Purity was never kidnapped and trapped in the tower at all and that it was all a set-up for what the princess and King were about to do. You see, when the princess was “kidnapped” the kidnapper turned out to be Prince Steele himself. Rather than getting mad, she found it rather hot that Steele would go all this way to scoop her up in his arms, take her away from her boring comfy life, and let her live a simple life away from the palace. She's essentially a careless prick who doesn't care about what's best for her people, and only cares about herself, a typical poorly written Disney princess move. Meanwhile, Prince Steele, after marrying Princess Purity, will become the next King of Medievia after King Cloudbeard enacts his genocide on all the fairytale characters. The fairytale characters were already suffering from bigotry and discrimination long before Medievia existed, and was essentially conquered land that had rightfully belonged to the fairytale characters before being taken away from them. The Queen had objected to the genocide, which angered King Cloudbeard, so he staged the hostage situation in the hopes of getting rid of the Queen, which he successfully did, knowing fully she'd protect his other expendable asset (his daughter, the Princess) so he can finally get some use out of her and enact his grand plan to make Medievia pure. And Purity was okay with all of this, because she cares about absolutely no one but herself, and had always been a spoiled brat that not even her own mom could tame. Plus, she loved her dad more, Purity claims.

And that's when King Cloudbeard emerges from the shadows, still putting on his faux happy persona, although in a much more condescending tone than anything. It turns out he had been following them from the start, using an invisibility spell on one of his signature crowns. We're treated to another flashback Prince Steele meeting King Cloudbeard for the first time, where he reveals his genocide plans to him alongside Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl, who are actually war generals outside of public knowledge, and Prince Steele reveals that he's third in line to the throne of his own home kingdom, thus having virtually nothing of value, and has been desperately seeking a royal's hand in marriage so he can rule over his people someday. Steele had noticed moments earlier after their little duet that Purity had fallen in love with Steele and asks for the King's blessing, to which the King agrees, as he's in dire need of a public figure to turn the public's attention away from the fairytale “cleansing”.

Jax manages to finally find a key close enough to break the new character out of his cell, just in time to catch up to the others, only to find out it was all a scummy lie, when Cloudbeard, Purity, and Steele continue their villain monologue. Stumpulot, not believing for a sec who he's seeing in front of him and with tears in his eyes, attempts to rush towards Dice for unknown reasons before being stopped by Steele. Cloudbeard introduces Team Circus and the side characters to Prince Dice, twin brother of Prince Draught, with Draught having been turned into a beast after his kingdom was annexed by Medievia and his brother Dice being imprisoned in an abandoned tower ever since, to be guarded for all time by a chatty dragon named Vermilla. Another flashback shows how Prince Draught said he tried to rescue a princess once. Said princess turned out to be his older sister, Princess Purity's mom, the Queen of Medievia, who was forced into marriage by King Cloudbeard after her homeland was conquered by his Medievian army, including images of Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl holding her hostage. This meant that Draught and Dice are Purity’s uncles, something that she herself knew since she was 12 years old, but the others didn't, mainly because of the minimal foreshadowing.

The wedding will be happening tomorrow night, Cloudbeard declares. Kinger asks angrily why they chose them of all people, to which Cloudbeard responds that they reminded him so much of those “disgusting abstracted lowlives'' that plagued his beautiful kingdom, and wanted to give them a first row seat to his conquest, out of sheer sadism and to send a warning to everyone to never cross the King. The word “abstracted” strikes a chord for all eight members of Team Circus, with them freezing up in disturbed horror and fear for their survival. When Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl also emerge from the shadows to take the others out of the towers and throw them into the dungeon cart that Cloudbeard had drove in, Stumpulot snarls that they won't get away with this, to which Steele retorts back that they already have. As Team Circus and all the others are locked up in the cart, Pomni glimpses at Vermilla, who looks like she had no idea that any of this would happen and looks remorseful. We don't see her again until the climax.

Everyone looks forlorn and defeated, except our beloved jester herself, who is quick to point out that the Genie can get them out of there and stop the marriage, but no one responds. Pomni rubs the box again, and we are treated to the Genie saying her catchphrase for the second time: “Good morning, Vietnam!!! …Nope, still not Vietnam.”

Pomni pleads/wishes for the Genie to let them out of the cart, but when she tries, she finds that it's magic-proof. Jax tries to find a key that'll unlock the cage, to no avail. Not even Ragatha’s hairpins can unlock them. Zooble tries to use all of their strength to bend the metal bars, (only to fall apart within seconds), Gangle uses her ribbons to break them apart, and Bubble tries prying them off the cart with his teeth.

While everyone else is trying to open the cage in their own manner, Stumpulot and Prince Dice have a heartfelt talk, saying how much they missed each other, even though they’re sorry that they had to reunite like this. They reveal some minor info about each other, including the memories they used to have when they were younger, including a sweet reprise of the first song in the episode, which culminates to this…

Stumpulot reveals to everyone actually used to be a jester for the twin princes before their kingdom was conquered by Cloudbeard. This causes everyone to stop in their tracks to listen. Stumpulot says that he's the great grandson of the Pied Piper, hence why he has connections to the fairytale characters, and that the conquered kingdom in question is the fairytale lands, specifically where Wonderland Lane currently is in question. Stumpulot was there to witness the entire invasion, the capturing of Prince Draught and Prince Dice’s sister, Princess Checkers, the ensuing war, and the death of his family and even the Prince’s mom and dad. His only remnant of his family was the pipe flute his great grandpa had amongst the ruins of what used to be his home. So he ventured near and far to try to find a new one, not realizing until just now that he had wandered into the kingdom that took everything away from him, except he doesn't have the energy to be angry anymore because of what's about to happen tomorrow morning. Everyone shows sympathy for the two of them, even the menace-to-society Genie can't help but feel awful. The atmosphere becomes solemn and quiet as they can only pray for a miracle to happen.

At sunrise the next morning, we see Prince Draught, who looks like he's seen better days, having already tamed a Deerman, and trying to find his way back to the group, only for him to realize that they unintentionally left him behind thinking he was dead, although none of that matters now as he spots a dungeon cart, carrying with him his allies… and his long lost brother. He looks on in horror as his keen hearing brought to him by his beast form allows him to overhear a conversation about how King Cloudbeard’s plan to kill off all the fairytale characters is going according to plan. It's disguised as a heartwarming scene where Purity reveals that she didn't like the idea of marrying at 16 because of how young it was, but after finally finding her hero, her Prince, she can safely say that she was wrong about the whole youthful arranged marriage thing being bad because it means she gets to spend the rest of her life with Steele, and live a prosperous life without the “subhuman caricatures'' that keep getting in the way of Purity’s selfish desire for a simple life and Steele's desire for a throne to sit on.

Draught sets off back to the fairytale lands to warn them about their impending fates.

At an almost-in-ruins fairytale village Prince Draught tries to gather up as much fairytale characters as he can to rescue his allies and stop the genocide of their people. They're all angry that their suspicions have been confirmed and all set up to revolt against the King and maybe stop the wedding in the meantime. They all sing a song about how they knew it all along and how they won't let them take away what little they have left to call home. Characters include Henny Penny, Big Bad Wolf, the Three Little Pigs, Hansel and Gretel, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Puss in Boots, Pinocchio, The Ant Queen and The Grasshopper King, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, even the Mad Hatter and his hummingbird assistant, the White Hare, the Queen Of Hearts and her card bodyguards, and many, many others. Prince Draught has officially rallied up an army to revolt against the system.

Meanwhile, as the rally song continues to play, after King Cloudbeard announces from his balcony to his subjects that the princess has finally chosen her suitor and that the wedding is in 15 minutes, Purity gets dressed for her big day and in a wholesome (but still evil) moment where she hugs her dad and tells him she loves him, as he walks her down the aisle, to the altar where Prince Steele is, as well as Archdeacon Bishop, who is marrying the two off for the wedding. Thousands of other Medievian citizens are seated at the wedding church benches, along with a battalion of guards to make sure nothing goes wrong, the tied up members of Team Circus, Stumpulot, Lynnard, and Red, although for some reason, the jewelry box the Genie Of The Box is sleeping in isn't even remotely secured, which Red takes notice of very well and tries to discreetly knock off the seating without anyone noticing.

Just as the song ends, Prince Draught boldly shouts that King Cloudbeard's reign of terror ends here, to which the latter responds calmly and ominously that he had expected something like this, which was why he brought company, revealing a hundred more guards from behind the altar. After an action packed scene of the fairytale characters being badass (both individually and in groups), Red finally knocks the box down, breaking it for good, prompting the Genie Of The Box to say her catchphrase one last time: “Good morning Vietn— holy moly, that's one way to crash a wedding…” Ultimately, the Genie gets the tied up folks out with her magic after Red wishes for their escape, which she happily obliges.

The civilians are unfortunately caught in the crossfire, even those who secretly opposed the King’s rules. Team Circus, Stumpulot, and the fairytale allies all try to bail out the civilians to safety, while Prince Dice confronts the King himself, which results in a dual battle while the commotion continues in the background. Meanwhile, Purity, Steele, Spaniel, and Fowl find Team Circus and promptly try to stop them, only for the fairytale allies to retaliate by brute force, eventually getting Kinger, Jax, and even Ragatha to join the fight.

Eventually, the battle ceases with a victory from the fairytale characters by a landslide, the soldiers either being injured or killed, and Dice and Draught finally reunite, with the King refusing to accept defeat as he declares that as long as he continues to sit on the throne, he will always win in the end… that is until Vermilla the Dragon breaks into the wedding altar where the King is standing, and unceremoniously eats King Cloudbeard, ensuring his permanent loss once and for all.

It's a scene reminiscent of when Sir Pentious from Hazbin Hotel was killed in an anticlimactic fashion by Adam, and Charlie awakens her ultimate form from grief as a result. Here, though, it's a parody of that, with Princess Purity running towards where her father used to be and weeping just like a Disney princess, Steele goes on to comfort Purity, with Lord Spaniel and Lady Fowl expressing sorrow for the King's death, in a saccharine parody of those sad Disney death scenes.

But just as Steele and Purity are about to sing a reprise of their “I Want” duet from earlier, Vermilla the Dragon, sick of their bullshit, just straight up eats all four of them too. At least Purity went out like a true princess. This causes Zooble and Jax to erupt into laughter from the sheer absurdity and anticlimactic manner of the whole thing, while everyone else just stares in confusion and shock.

Afterwards, Team Circus rejoices in Prince Draught’s survival after catching a glimpse of him alongside Dice, with Red, Lynnard, the Genie, and Stumpulot all having a bittersweet reunion with the long-thought-to-be-lost Prince Dice. Team Circus joins in on the reunion as they all catch up with each other as they, the celebrating fairytale characters, and the Medievian civilians walk out of the church and celebrate the end of King Cloudbeard's tyranny.

Later that evening, a wild celebration outside with fireworks ensues, with Team Circus, Stumpulot, their newfound allies, and all the other fairytale characters enjoying their newfound liberation when a faint desaturated pink glow can be found within a tree hollow behind them, which Pomni notices. She finds the source of the light and finds their next jewel, prompting all eight members of Team Circus to receive this pop-up notification:

~JEWEL OBTAINED!~

2 out of 26

Only 24 remain

The jewel is a beautiful mauve-colored Rhodochrosite.

This unfortunately means that it's time for them to leave. When Lynnard asks, “Can't they stay?”, Stumpulot replies that they're not from here and have a home to go back to. Team Circus share a heartfelt farewell with their new fairytale friends as they all get back to the Magical Digital Van, content and a little amazed with having just saved an entire nation from a tyrannical ruler — though that wouldn't have been the first time they've done so, Jax claims.

The whole journey, the mom narrator has been reading out the entire episode like a fanfic of some sorts, and as the Van drives off into the starry night, the camera zooms back out of the storybook as the mom finishes with “...and the newly freed dwellers of Medievia all lived happily ever after. The end.” The daughter exclaims how awesome the story was, which the mom agrees. The mom tucks her daughter into bed and kisses her forehead, with them both saying goodnight to each other before the mom walks out the door and turns off the lights.

When the coast is clear, the daughter promptly grabs back the book that was put away moments ago, grabs a flashlight, and rereads the book under the blanket covers, as Smash Mouth’s “All Star” replays for a second time while the credits begin rolling.

The episode ends with this In Memoriam dedication:

In loving memory of our all star

Steve Harwell

1967-2023

~~~~

Current Status:

2 Jewels have been collected

24 remain

🏰👑👸🦄💂🐸🧜‍♀️🧚🧞‍♂️

~~~~

• OG Cast

Lizzie Freeman as Pomni

Amanda Hufford as Ragatha

Michael Kovach as Jax

Sean Chiplock as Kinger

Marissa Lenti as Gangle

Ashley Nichols as Zooble

Gooseworx as Bubble

Alex Rochon as Caine

~~~~

• Audience Surrogate Cast/Diplomats

Hynden Walch as Valerie

Susan Egan as Pamela

Amy Winfrey as Garcia

Mandy Moore as Lulu

Nevaeh Hamilton (me) as Bethany

~~~~

• Background Diplomats

Andrea Libman as Winona

Cristina Vee as Patricia

E.G. Daily as Rionna

Stephanie Sheh as Olivia

Debi Derryberry as Yolanda

Cree Summer as Gemma

Ashleigh Ball as Cécelia

Erica Luttrell as Belle

Ashly Burch as Imera

Kimberly Brooks as Bailey

~~~~

• Episode’s Antagonists

Jim Cummings as King Cloudbeard

Jodi Benson as Princess Purity

Paige O’Hara as Lady Fowl

Michael Jelenic as Lord Spaniel

Aaron Horvath as Archdeacon Bishop

Ed Sheeran as Prince Steele

~~~~

• Secondary Characters Introduced

Angelina Jolie as Mother/Narrator

Vivien Lyra Blair as Daughter

Mike Meyers as Lynnard the Bridge Troll

Chloë Grace Mortez as Red Riding Hood

Nevaeh Hamilton (me) as Genie Of The Box

Jimmy “MrBeast” Donaldson as The Beast/Prince Draught

Patrick Stump as Stumpulot the Bard

Adam “SomethingElseYT” Ortiz Jr. as Prince Dice

Alan Tudyk as Mad Hatter

Melissa Fahn as Hummingbird

Rob Paulsen as White Hare

Tiffany Haddish as Vermilla the Dragon

Alex Borstein as Janiss the Room Service Lady

~~~~

[black-arcana]

A beginner’s guide to symphonic metal in 5 albums

Few genres do grandiose like symphonic metal. As the name suggests, it marries the scope and ambition of classical music to the power of metal. The result is orchestral, opulent and sometimes OTT, but it’s a hard heart that is completely resistant to it.

The seeds of the sound were sown in the 80s, when diverse trailblazers such as Celtic Frost and Savatage began incorporating orchestral instruments into their music. But it began to accelerate in the late 1990s, with bands such as Therion, Nightwish, Within Temptation and cult favourites Haggard began to properly fuse the two genres.

Today, symphonic metal has become an unlikely commercial force. Nightwish and Within Temptation are festival headliners, while a constant stream of newer bands have emerged in their wake. For anyone who is new to this grandest of genres, these are the five albums to start with.   

Therion – Secret Of The Runes (2001)

Therion remain the original and – the purists would have you believe – the best of all the symphonic metal acts. Named in honour of Celtic Frost’s second album To Mega Therion, the Swedes have been led by multi-instrumentalist Christofer Johnsson since 1987. While others have prospered by ‘sexing-up’ the genre’s principles, the Therion experience remains a pure one – sackcloth and ashes, almost. Take our word, it’s a beautiful thing.

After Forever – Decipher (2001)

The second album from this pioneering and much-missed Dutch outfit, who ran from 1995 to 2009, Decipher employed live classical instruments and a full choir to complement the stirring soprano delivery of Floor Jansen (now, of course, with Nightwish). Soon afterwards Mark Jansen quit, taking his growled co-vocals along to the guitarist’s next band of note, Epica. The album’s grandiose arrangements still sound masterful today.

Within Temptation – The Silent Force (2004)

Although you’re likely to be distracted by the captivating strength of Sharon den Adel’s upfront vocal dynamism, Within Temptation’s symphonic aspirations reached their most querulously romantic apex on this goosebump-inducing masterwork of the form. Although the guitars were louder and crunchier than on 2000’s Mother Earth, and the open- hearted pop savvy was at full widescreen pelt, this 2004 follow-up confirmed the band’s special affinity for wizardly orchestral bombast, here performed by the Ego Works Session Orchestra, under the noted Russian conductor Felix Korobov.

Epica – The Quantum Enigma (2014)

Formed by former After Forever guitarist Mark Jansen, Epica played a crucial part in the development of symphonic metal via a string of consistently impressive releases, but with The Quantum Enigma – their sixth studio record – the Dutch band raised the bar to a whole different level, hiring a live chamber choir and a string orchestra to enhance a collection of tunes that is uniformly strong. Throw in the soaring vocals of flame-haired mezzo-soprano  Simone Simons and the results are seismic.

Nightwish – Endless Forms Most Beautiful (2015)

You could pick anything from 2000’s Wishmaster onwards, but the Finns’ first album with Floor Jansen represents Peak Nightwish in terms of a grandiosity. A high-concept exploration of evolutionary science, featuring narration from scientist Richard Dawkins, it’s an absolute triumph. From the full-pelt throttle of Shudder Before The Beautiful and cinematic bombast of Weak Fantasy to the  life affirming anthemia of Alpenglow, it’s a constant stream of brilliance. Then there’s The Greatest Show On Earth, a 25-minute show-stopper most bands could only dream of writing. It’s no surprise this was the record that turned Nightwish into festival and arena headliners.

[itsallmadonnasfault]

Eighteen years ago, Madonna observed: “Once you pass 35, your age becomes part of the first sentence of anything written. It’s a form of limiting your options and almost putting you in your place. For women, naturally.” She was 47 when she said that and intent on challenging the cultural script that suggested women, especially female performers, had a use-by date.

“Why is that acceptable?” she asked the music writer Brian Hiatt nearly 10 years later, still battling critics who told her to dress her age, act her age — in short, pack it in and retreat from the spotlight because she was past her prime. “Women, generally, when they reach a certain age, have accepted that they’re not allowed to behave a certain way. But I don’t follow the rules.”

To the question “Is she still relevant?” her Celebration Tour, which concluded this month, is proof that she is. Madonna performed before the largest audience ever gathered to watch a female artist and mounted the single biggest free stand-alone concert in history: 1.6 million people turned Rio de Janeiro’s Copacabana Beach into a dance floor on May 4. According to Billboard, her six-month, 80-show tour grossed $225.4 million, making her the only woman in history to gross more than $100 million during six concert tours. (The only solo male in that category is Bruce Springsteen.)

But there’s so much more to her triumph than numbers. That a 65-year-old female pop star pulled off this tour and, despite our increasingly intolerant times, the performance was her most relentlessly and delightfully queer since 1990’s groundbreaking Blond Ambition Tour would be unimaginable, except that it was Madonna. The Celebration Tour proved that Madonna wasn’t afraid of drawing attention to her long career; she owned it proudly.

All of her past selves showed up, in role and in costume, to help celebrate the many ways she has evolved and the many ways she and her collaborators have explored and expressed gender throughout the years. It was a beautifully inclusive, encouraging spectacle. If history is a guide, the social and artistic ramifications of her performance will extend well beyond the numbers and long after her tour.

Madonna’s 1985 Virgin Tour, her debut, included only 40 shows in North America and grossed about $5 million. But its impact on young lives is immeasurable. The young women and girls in her audience were on the cusp of unleashing their sexual selves and embracing their independence, which is what made them so terrifying to a broader society intent on keeping them polite, passive and manageable.

Madonna’s message to her young audience was: Embrace your power, dream big and dare to be your own damned self. That message would resonate through a generation and across the globe, as aspiring Madonnas grew up to be politicians, lawyers, doctors, teachers, members of the armed forces, Third Wave feminists, Riot Grrrls and pop stars themselves.

Madonna was, in fact, the lead author of the female pop star playbook, and she continues to write the unexplored and perilous back end of it while artists like Olivia Rodrigo and Billie Eilish adapt the front end and more established stars like Beyoncé and Taylor Swift refine what’s possible in the middle. Madonna’s continuous career represents a universe of possibility for their own, despite the entertainment industry’s willingness to jettison midcareer women in favor of artists with younger faces and bodies.

But for women not named Madonna (or Beyoncé or Taylor Swift), growing older and maturing in public is much more fraught. Older men are considered wise, but older women are often ignored or discounted. Thanks to the intervention of the pharmaceutical industry, men are encouraged to have an active sex life into their 80s. The idea of older women having sex remains, for many, repellent.

Madonna has challenged our notions of what a woman should do and be on all those counts: She chooses to age as she sees fit, she says what she believes loudly and forcefully, and she is as proudly sexual as she was in 1985.

With her Celebration Tour, Madonna demonstrated night after night for six months that an older woman can exhibit power and strength — joyfully, generously and defiantly. Her glorious performance was perhaps even sweeter when we recall that hip and knee injuries disrupted her Madame X tour four years ago and a bacterial infection threatened not only the Celebration Tour but also Madonna’s life.

Forty years ago, Madonna showed audiences, particularly girls and women, that they could mute the killjoy chorus keeping them from self-realization. On the Celebration Tour, Madonna doubled down on this idea, encouraging fans to follow their hearts, minds and inner freaks by both being herself onstage and employing diverse and talented dancers to carry that message in their own convincing and resonant ways.

If this were the last tour of Madonna’s career — and we sincerely hope it is not — she would retire as the most influential female pop star of all time, a legitimate legend who wowed audiences, defied expectations and broke records. Having served more than 40 years in the public eye, she could take a holiday, take some time to celebrate. It would be, it would be so nice.

NY Times

[enterwittyjokehere]

Doctor's Orders

[Primis! Edward Richtofen x amab! Reader Smut]

⚠️Warnings⚠️

[Amab reader]

[Male nickname used]

[Censored swearing]

[Mentions of blood]

[Multiple org*sms]

[Blowj*b]

[Handj*b]

[Thigh h*mp*ng]

[Borderline s*x**l torture]

[HEAVY GAY SMUT 18+ ONLY]

"Nein! We can not risk you coming along right now, mein Herz." The German doctor of the group argued against you.

He stared down tenderly at you, he was much taller than you. Yet, you held your ground, staring up at him and did not back down.

"I can still help, it's a swollen wrist." You retorted, getting closer to the doctor.

"Technically. It's dislocated." He said, placing a hand on your shoulder, "and you shouldn't be shooting with it, it could cause more injury."

"Ed, I'm not just gonna sit here while you four-"

"(Y/n), bitte, just listen to me, you only need stay here und rest. Doctor's orders." The joke was funny, but Edward only frowned.

You and Edward had been "not dating" for... well, time was weird... you started somewhere in 1940's Germany. Except you weren't even born until early 1990's, but to you it had seemed like eons.

The relationship the two of you share, is typically very strictly sexual, although, you always craved more. You are more than happy to be what Edward needs in the present, to you he is a gift, a breath of fresh air from all the other men and women you've been with.

You sighed, heavily, "Fine, Edward. Whatever."

"Do not be like that, it is for your own good." Edward said, slinking a hand to your jawline, "und when I am back, I'll have something to make it worth your wait."

Heat, from the blood rushing to your face, made you have a terrible red hue cover your cheeks. Your lips turned slightly up at the ends, "OK, doc, whatever you say."

"That's my boy." He said, leaning down to kiss your lips, smiling into the embrace before-

"YO! Doc, you coming or what?" Dempsey, an American marine, called out from the next room over.

Edward groaned as he pulled away, all ready annoyed with the American, "Dempsey may not make it back."

Laughter erupted out of your mouth, "I wouldn't mind that either. Be safe."

"Jawohl." Taking his leave, Edward walked through the doors.

Almost immediately after, loneliness set it's cruel hooks into your mind. You had so very little alone time, with the other four men, you weren't sure how you could spend the next few hours.

You laid down on small bed you had claimed, the springs were worn, some broken, and the mattress was busted open, with the stuffing leaking out in certain places.

A bed, however, was a luxury in your line of work. You tried to rest, closing your eyes waiting for sleep's warm, welcoming embrace.

It never came.

After what felt like hours you sat up, pacing around. You felt useless, your team was out there, trying to turn the power on, slaughtering countless flesh addicts and you were what?

Supposed to rest?

You let out a loud groan, covering your face with your hands, "Richtofen is just trying to make me useless."

You finally sat down on the concrete floor, wishing for anything to do. Your thoughts wondered what the team was doing, how they were getting along with out you.

Images of Edward stabbing his way through hordes of zombies, him covered in blood. Before, the whole time travel thing, you never cared for things of gorey nature, although, Edward gets a certain way when blood is present.

The memories alone were enough to light a needy fire in your core. You continued daydreaming, before you could realize to stop yourself, your pants were tight. Fighting against your growing er*ct*on, "F**k!"

You Palmed the zipper of your trousers, moaning slightly at the contact. An idea popping into your mind, "I know how I'll spend my afternoon alone."

You stood back up, almost diving onto the busted bed, hastly unbuttoning your trousers and slipping them off. You slipped your hand under your waistband of your underpants, teasing yourself, you carefully rubbed the head of your c*ck.

Your hips jolted forward at the action, a string of swears left your mouth. Knocking into your sore wrist, "Ah f**k!" You cried out, the pain making you retract your hand.

You slipped out of the loose fabric, pumping yourself in your hand, carefully, allowing enough time in between to tease the tip.

The bed beneath you began squeaking as you rythmically moved your hand. The fire in your core was so dull compared to the aching in your wrist, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

Your hips moving on their own as well, your other hand messaging your sack. The popping of your sore wrist made the pain almost double each time. It wasn't long before steamy tears blinded your vision, the pain being too much.

The closer you got to your climax, the less you began to care however.

"AH-! F**k Edward-" you moaned out, you imagined the German, pumping his own hand around you. His pretty mouth lightly suckling on your balls, while his hand worked.

He would also be pumping his own c*ck, he would get more pleasure from it though, being uncircumsized.

"S-Shit..." You slurred out, as you heard a loud pop. Your wrist crackling as you quickened your pace, "F**k it hurts."

You tossed your head back, getting so close right before-

The door swung open, "Are you ok-?"

You froze, you glanced up at Edward, who was also frozen in his tracks, your breathing began to steady as you stared at your startled lover.

A quick blush crept onto his typically stoic expression, "Ah... apologies. I had only heard- und I assumed..."

Edward's grey eyes widened and glanced away as he noticed where he was staring, "Es tut mir leid-! I'll... umm.. leave you to it."

Edward attempted to sneak away, before your sweet voice caught his ear, "Ed, please, don't go."

It was barley over a whisper, he reopened the door, eyes wide. Stepping into the room again, "Edward... If you wouldn't mind, I'd like some help.. My wrist really hurts when I-"

"J-ja... well this is the last thing you should be doing!" His doctor persona took over, approaching the bed, "but not to worry, Schatz, I will take care of you now."

Not wasting any time, Edward began disrobing, walking towards you and unbuttoning his vest. He walked on his knees on the bed, crawling towards you as he through his vest off.

Locking his lips with your own, he bent over you, undoing his belt. Your hands moved to begin unbuttoning his white, bloodstained shirt, carefully to not anger your sore appendage more.

He growled against you, chuckling darkly, "so eager?"

You could only hum a response, 'mmhmm'

With a firm jerk, his trousers were down to his knees and his chest now exposed where you had unbuttoned his shirt. You looped a finger under the waistband of his boxers and slipped them lower, "Let the examination begin."

His husky voice in your ear, made you shiver. Edward licked his lips staring at your already erect c*ck, he took you in his mouth, his head moving up and down on you.

You moaned beneath him, a hand moving into his hair to ground yourself. One of Edward's hands played with your balls, the other drawing circles on you thigh. You so were so close, it was almost overstimulating.

"Ed-! Please." You mumbled out, The German doctor chuckled, making you moan as it sent vibrations through your needy core.

Fighting against your self, your hips attempted to buck into Edward's mouth, but you focused on keeping them down. So scared to lose this climax, he was so willing to give you.

You slightly opened your eyes, glancing at Richtofen, who's grey eyes had been staring up at you this whole time. Your hand had tussled his usually perfect hair, his face was red and drool covered his mouth.

He continued moving, however, staring you in the eyes as he did. "Ed. I'm so close." You were finally able to gasp out, his hand constricting around your balls, causing you to through your head back.

He continued to pump, squeezing the small organ, it was driving you crazy. "F**k.. Ah-!" A hand found your mouth as you climaxed in the doctor's mouth. He choked sitting up, he wiped his face then tasted his fingers.

"Delicious as always."

You could only laugh, your breathing still incredibly heavy and your hand aching even worse.

Edward stood up, "Now, sit up." His accent seeming to get thicker.

"Richtofen, I think I need a second.." You breathed out, holding your rapidly falling chest.

"Nein, you want to feel better do as the doctor says." He said, grabbing your healthy arm and pulling you out of your horizontal position.

You sat on the edge of the bed, Edward pumping your sore c*ck. You became more and more noisy as he did, moans and gasps leaving your mouth so much more this time.

When your c*ck was hard enough to barley stand on it's own, Edward turned around guiding the c*ck into him. You moaned more, hiding your face in the crevice of his neck.

Edward rode you, bouncing on your lap, the feeling was euphoric, because you were already so overstimulated.

"Scheiße... right there." Edward said, focusing on where to hit for his own pleasure.

Your c*ck got harder and harder inside of the German, your hands finding his much larger c*ck. Playing with it, you began to pinch the foreskin and play with his tip, making him much more vocal.

His bouncing got more paced as your massaged his length, a hand finding your hair, pushing you farther into his neck if it was even possible.

You could feel your second climax approaching, you began pumping Richtofen in your hand. He squirmed around, trying to get more friction, causing you to moan as he moved around on your aching c*ck.

"Ja, ja. Bitte, please, please." He cried out, you bit the skin on his neck lightly, making him repeat his previous action.

Your hand stopped pumping as euphoria washed over you once more, squeezing your hand tightly around Edward's c*ck. The warm feeling combined with the squeezing made Edward follow in his own euphoric release.

"Ah-! Mein Gott!" He said, in between heavy breaths.

"Alright, Ed! I think I'm done." You said, as you finally caught your breath, only to be met with a laugh.

"You may, aber ich bin nicht!" The doctor said, standing up, pulling a wince from your mouth as the cool air replaced Edward's warm insides.

"I don't think I can anymore, Ed, you're gonna give me the opposite of 'blue balls'.."

Your pleading only made the German have a twisted smile, like he planned to give you the fullest extent of any torment you'd been put through, "Do not worry, my heart, the doctor will take good care of you."

Edward stood before you, sticky white strings dripping off his thighs and p*n*s. He wore a wicked smile, looking down at you biting his lip, giving you the feeling of a prey animal being cornered.

A firm hand gripped your well wrist tightly, pulling you up, "und now, my darling, it is your turn."

Edward said darling as a growl, his hands pressing into your hips as he leaned down to capture your lips. Kissing you rough and full of passion, you moaned into the kiss, leaning closer into his chest.

Enjoying the feeling of being so close to the man you had grown to love, before it was all ripped away as he pushed you down onto the busted mattress again. Falling on your stomach, you winced as the bedding collided with your hurt hand, "Argh, Scheiße-!"

Turning to see Edward standing above you slowly pumping his c*ck, his eyes prying into your fragile body. Oh if looks could kill...

He slowly crawled onto the bed, laying on top of you, his lips brushed over your ear, "C*m before me and we'll have to go again, verstanden?"

You nodded, muttering swears under your breath. Edward groaned in your ear as he slid himself into you, you grabbed fistfuls of the bedding. Edward's c*ck was exactly how you would have imagined, long and built, much like the rest of his body.

He pumped into you, huffing with his movements, "Ah- Ja, ja."

Your face was buried in the mattress, tears leaking into it, your own p*n*s being rubbed by the motion your body moved and the mattress beneath. Had you not been almost at your thrid climax, you probably wouldn't have been so quick to or*a*m again.

"Awe, mein poor lad." Richtofen faked a pout as he slammed into you at a rather quick pace.

The tightening in your stomach shown through the mocking, you were close but you couldn't c*m just yet. Otherwise, Edward would continue to torture you, it was all too much.

You whimpered, attempting to hold it in, "F-fuck, Ed. No, stop." You struggled out, trying so hard to fight against your ever approaching climax. You clenched, attempting to stop the climax, however, you could not.

You came on the bed.

Edward only laughed, continuing to hit that spot you liked, you let out groans that sounded like they came from the put of your gut. Your eyes rolled back, your body twitched, "Fuck-!"

He groaned biting his lip as he came inside you, he stayed in your twitching warmth a little while before pulling out.

"One more time, as promised, darling, und we'll be done."

"I'm gonna get you a fl*shlight." You mumbled at him.

"A what?"

"Nothing, Ed. Just f**k me already." You said, no enthuasm at all.

Exhaustion was beginning to set in, more than just your sore wrist ached. You rolled over looking at the German who just continued staring at you with those damned eyes. He once again, laid over you kissing you sweetly on the lips, "this time will be more fun."

Grabbing onto your thighs, Edward pushed your legs apart and lifted them up. You felt semi-ridiculous but were far too tired to complain, Edward situated himself in between your thighs. His still firmly er*ct c**k, in the center as he closed your legs around him.

He humped into your thighs, his p*n*s rubbing against your own. You moaned as he quickened his pace, the overstimulating feeling began to die down and you were once more enjoying the action.

Edward seemed to be enjoying so much more, though. He pumped himself quickly between your thighs, huffing and groaning, scattered words of German flew from his mouth.

You took your hand and began pumping your own c**k, you wrist crackling again, the pain making you wince.

"Nein-!" Edward grabbed your hand, holding it firmly, "enjoy me."

It was more of a command than he expected, but you had no complaints.

Edward continued humping your thighs, his tip rubbing against your c**k with his movements.

"F**k, Ed." You groaned.

"Ja, me too." He said, bringing the hand he was holding to his face, placing delicate kisses to it.

With a loud moan and his body trembling, Edward's hips began to stutter as his thrusts became more sporadic. His tip grazed against yours, sending you into a small or*a*m, Edward soon followed suit, as you were both covered in sticky white strings.

Your last sight being Edward collapsing beside you, breathing heavily.

[thesecretdiaryofa90sgirl]

The Spice Girls in NYC photographed by Ann Summa, 1997

[transbookoftheday]

Bad Habit by Alana S. Portero

Combining the raw realism and vulnerability of Shuggie Bain and Detransition, Baby with the poignant sensibility of Pedro Almodóvar, a staggering coming-of-age novel deeply rooted in the class struggles of a trans woman growing up in Madrid in the last decades of the twentieth century.

"I saw a whole generation of boys fall like irredeemable angels."

Told in the heartrending voice of a girl trapped within the body of a boy, Bad Habit is a story of coming-of-age in working class Madrid–in a godforsaken neighborhood ironically named after a saint. Alana S. Portero's spunky protagonist struggles to make sense of herself and the world she inhabits, conveying her surroundings with mythic allusions and a poetic vitality absent from everyday life.

Set against the heroin epidemic that ravaged Madrid in the 1980s and the city’s vibrant party scene that dominated its nightlife in the 1990s, Bad Habit follows Portero’s unnamed protagonist as she grows up in a blue-collar suburb that has no place for her. Forging ahead, she discovers community and kinship in downtown Madrid, amid a lively party scene animated by junkies, pop divas, and fallen angels. But with each step she takes forward, she finds herself confronted by a violence she does not yet know how to counter; in this exciting, often terrifying, world each choice can truly be a matter of life and death.

Blistering and compassionate, Bad Habit illuminates the ties between gender and class, the search for identity, and the power of sisterhood. Shimmering in its lyrical beauty, vivid in its realism, autobiographical in its detail, it is a mesmerizing story of self-realization that speaks to the outsider in all of us.

[cherrylng]

UK ROCK BEST 100 ALBUMS - The 90's [CROSSBEAT (August 2006)]

90's The Britpop explosion that restored British pride

By the start of the 1990s, Madchester was already spreading across the country. The UK was in a frenzy, not only with bands from the local suburbs, but also with Primal Scream and many other non-Manchester bands mixing dance grooves and rock. At the same time, 'shoegaze' (My Bloody Valentine, Ride, etc.), with its roaring guitars and fantastically beautiful melodies, flourished. A wide variety of guitar music flourished and many bands made their major label debuts. In 1991-92, as these booms came to an end, British rock entered a period of stagnation, which was replaced by the grunge/US alternative craze, which was driven by the global success of Nirvana. The massive encroachment of US culture into the UK. In reaction to this, there was a gradual urge to sound rock that reflected the British temperament and traditions, and Brit-pop was born.

Digesting the British beat of the 60s, the British rock and glam of the 70s and the New Wave of the 80s, Britpop blossomed into a national movement, driven by the irony and flamboyance of Blur, with their cheeky sarcasm, and the straightforward, rugged Oasis. The public's attention turned to bands from their homeland, with albums by Pulp, Supergrass, Suede and Ocean Colour Scene all becoming big hits. The musicians became so popular that they became regulars on variety shows and in the popular press. Helping to put British pride and identity back into the hands of the people, Britpop became a social phenomenon involving all industries and political circles, and UK rock enjoyed its greatest glory yet.

However, this movement also waned after the following year of maturity, culminating in the singles showdown between in 1995. The young bands that had been bought out of the boom were weeded out one by one, and the public's interest turned again to pop and dance music, especially "dance music that rock fans can also enjoy" such as Prodigy and the Chemical Brothers.

In 1997, Radiohead and the Verve, both of whom had been out of step with the boom, completed their own epoch-defining albums to great acclaim. The mainstream scene was becoming more mellow, melancholic, brooding or gritty, with Manics, Oasis (who had become one of the UK's leading international bands) and Spiritualized® all having hits. It was also around this time that Welsh bands such as Stereophonics, Catatonia and Super Furry Animals, all from the same country as the Manics, came into the limelight.

However, as the end of the 1990s approached, rock music once again lost momentum as dance idol groups and R&B dominated the charts. Apart from a few 'lyricists' such as Travis, many guitar bands were forced to go underground, and the 'death of UK guitar rock' was whispered about for a few years. -Sumi Imai

Mind Bomb The The (1989) One of the bands that supported UK rock in the "rock barren" late 80s. Their progressive dance moves, reverence for ancient music and caustic attitude towards modern society require re-evaluation. -Sawada

Bizarro The Wedding Present (1989) The pinnacle of 80s UK indie guitar rock. The high-speed guitar cutting that symbolises the album is full of thrills. The sense of speed is irresistible. -Otani

Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches Happy Mondays (1990) Rock fused with Chicago house enthralled the youth of Manchester, an industrial city with no hope for the future. This is the masterpiece of their charismatic existence. -Kuroda

The La's The La's (1990) The only work by The La's, by Liverpool's brilliant Lee Mavers, Noel Gallagher's spiritual mentor. Timeless melodies with a 60s flavour overflow. -Koguchi

Nowhere Ride (1990) Ride's quintessential mix of roaring guitars with powerful chord strokes and whispery, faint vocals. In 1990, the band symbolised a new beginning for the UK scene. -Koguchi

Blue Lines Massive Attack (1991) First wave of trip hop from Bristol. Shara Nelson's 'Unfinished Sympathy' became their signature tune. Horace Andy and Adrian "Tricky" Thaws joined [at this time]. -Yamashita

Loveless My Bloody Valentine (1991) Fans of their daydreamy guitar noise have been waiting 15 years for a new album, and their followers are still making imitations of it. Such a sinful album. -Kuroda

Screamadelica Primal Scream (1991) The euphoria of acid, the magical appeal of black music. The mixture of these elements produced a masterpiece that symbolised the era. At the time, there was still a glimmer of hope in the world. -Kuroda

Bandwagonesque Teenage Fanclub (1991) In the early days of their activities, the band often resonated with US alternative groups such as Nirvana and Dinosaur Jr. Their second album, also noisy guitar pop, is still highly regarded as a masterpiece. -Koguchi

Generation Terrorists Manic Street Preachers (1992) This was the first step for the Manics, who made headlines by declaring that they would break up as soon as they debuted at No.1. The fusion of literary, esoteric lyrics and popular, sweet melodies is still the same basic principle. -Sawada

Emergency on Planet Earth Jamiroquai (1993) The first album by Jamiroquai, the most successful acid jazz group. Jay Kay became a star with his uniquely white voice and big hat. His lyrics on environmental issues were also a hot topic. -Yamashita

Rid of Me PJ Harvey (1993) A strange and exquisite marriage of hard, noisy Albini-produced sound and boiling female emotions. Here is a true 'female rocker' song, not an imitation of a man. -Mima

Suede Suede (1993) The most flamboyant band of British newcomers ever, with controversial lewd sounds and immoral lyrics. The gender-bending view of eroticism is unique to UK rock, the fabric of glam. -Mima

Parklife Blur (1994) One of the milestones of Britpop with its catchy melodies and twisted pop sensibility. Damon's songwriting ability and well-honed sense of the times shines through. -Yamashita

Definitely Maybe Oasis (1994) A wealth of songs that extract the best parts of the past's musical legacy. Rugged guitar rock is full of life. The fruitful era of 90s British rock began here. -Hirose

Dummy Portishead (1994) The first album by the band featuring rare singer Beth Gibbons. The dark, cinematic sound, incorporating jazz and hip-hop, made them a worldwide hit beyond the boundaries of trip-hop. -Yamashita

Different Class Pulp (1995) A huge hit that became a social phenomenon after 16 years of incubation. Pop songs full of humour and pathos, rooted in people's 'everyday life', captured the hearts of the masses and made them a national band. -Mima

I Should Coco Supergrass (1995) A masterpiece that rode the Britpop wave to the top in the UK. A great line-up of great songs, including the eternal youth song "Alright". It has great energy and nostalgia at the same time. -Yamashita

K Kula Shaker (1996) Groovy sound with plenty of oriental mysticism and psychedelic sensibilities. The energy and intensity of the performance are 'scripture' level rock. -Mima

Moseley Shoals Ocean Colour Scene (1996) Second album from 1996. This is a great album that shows the band in their element, having made a name for themselves touring with Oasis and backing Paul Weller. Austere, sincere rock that digests elements of black music, with a gourmet taste. -Hirokawa

[yourlocalscallywag]

KinitoPET theory (spoilers)

So I’m still obsessed with Kinitopet and there’s been these small theories I’ve had on it. But lately I’ve been trying to connect some things and I think this could be a plausible theory.

So, when we start up the game for the first time (and sometimes afterwards) it has a power button on the screen as many of you know. Seems pretty strange, right? And once you click it, your screen fades to black, showing an old 1990’s-early 2000’s computer. It will ask for you a password, This makes me think we are entering another world in a way, a web world one could say. But here’s the thing. That computer we put the password in is not our computer, like the one we are playing on. It seems like it is someone else’s.

So let’s think. Not our computer. We enter a “different world” (on our true computer). What does this allude to? Sonny.

So, if you don’t know the Sonny lore, here’s what I personally think it is/means. Sonny seemed to be the one who made Kinito. He started with one line of code, but that seemed to spiral out of control for some reason. Soon, it became Kinito. Now, I am unsure whether Kinito and Sonny were ever good friends, but I like to think they were. In the odd email you receive titled “IT’S NOT TOO LATE”, you will find that, once decoded using a scramble decipher, there’s something of interest at the end of the email. It says, “I fear that when we delete the server. . . you. . . you will delete me?”

Hmm, delete? That’s sure interesting. Speaking of deleting, does deleting things pop up again in the game? Yes! In the true ending, you delete Kinito and the world in that computer that isn’t ours. Speaking of that computer, isn’t it odd that we “know” the password (as it works every time)? My conclusion to this is that we play as Sonny, and that the computer at the start is his, we know his password, and we can delete things like him

Now wait, you’re probably thinking, “why would he leave emails for himself?” Simple. Everytime he finishes the game on choosing to stay or not stay with Kinito, the cycle resorts, making him forget everything, so he left clues for himself, like the emails.

So, we, the player, are Sonny. But what about Kinito? Well, I think I know who he actually is, as well as his friends.

Kinito fourth wall breaks a lot, that’s for sure. He also tries to stop and distract you from finding clues to the true ending, aka trying to stop you from hurting him and his friends. He is aware you delete him in the true end, and obviously knows how to code, so he knows he’s in a “game”.  Also, speaking of his friends, something is very interesting about them. Jade is a scientist, so nerdy and whatnot. She builds things, and is green. Sam is, well, Sam, and orange. Notice how when you click on the body bag in the decor section of the mini game, your mouse moves on its own, and that it’s constantly moving.  Remember this for later. Now, I believe it is Jade who, when going through the Factory Frenzy scare, says “I’m here again, aren’t I?” She seems to be aware she is also in some sort of cycle, or game.

Last but not least I want to point out that they all seem to know they are trapped in their own world. In the hidden area when interacting with the fountain in the Web World, it will get all dark and gloomy, and a track from the OST will play called “Deep Below the Code.” Notice how it says “below”. Keep that in mind.

So, I have my conclusion. Think about all the points discussed. They forget but remember small things every reset cycle, they know they are trapped below the code, Kinito knows he’s in a simulation/game, Jade is green and is a scientist, Sam is orange and your cursor constantly moves during the body bag scene, you befriend all of the characters, and, during the true ending, you help them all “escape” (even if it’s in death).

My last point is the creator’s name, troy_en. Counting the letters. There are 7 including the underscore. What other name has 7 letters? Toby Fox. What else has 7? The 7 human souls in undertale. So, my theory is that Kinito is actually sans in an alternate timeline, and that you are the player who can free them from being trapped below the surface, aka the code. Or, if you choose to play again, you can reset the cycle. Jade must be the alternate alphys, being a scientist, and that she has a kind soul, hence her being green. Sam might be another character, maybe papyrus, who has a brave soul, hence the constant moving of your cursor, just like you have to constantly move through orange attacks in undertale. Anyways, I hope you liked the theory and feel free to discuss, and I wish you all a happy april first and whatnot. This theory has gotten very long and now my fingers are falling off.

[soullessjack]

not to treat STAS like the definitive version of superman but there is an episode taking place in his teen years when his powers are still developing and Star Wars showing at a theatre is passively mentioned bc it’s the 1990s, and maybe it’s an inconsequential detail but I’m autistic so I’ll take that to mean that real life pop culture does exist in the DCU to some capacity, especially in the 1990’s when sci-fi blockbusters were all the rage,

which means Clark very likely grew up with/around other sci-fi things like Star Trek, Alien, The Thing, Independence Day, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Mars Attacks (not to mention the basic earth history of famous UFO sightings and crashes and conspiracies, like Roswell or Bush shaking hands with a gray man, given how close the decades were), Coneheads, 3rd Rock From The Sun ….

and everything else that either depicts aliens as mindless invaders who prey on the meek small towns and cities of earth or peaceful comedic idiots who poorly assimilate, which then means that Clark only had all of this to exclusively influence his personal idea of aliens and the unexplored cosmos and how the government typically responds to unknown forces..all before being hit with the truth about where he came from.

I can’t form my exact point here but like I think it’s formed already maybe