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13rurururi · 1 year

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♡ミ Married Life with Husband! Haganezuka Hotaru (Haganezuka x Reader SFW)

featuring six moments that will make you fall in love with him all over again

Pairing: Haganezuka Hotaru x Female!Reader

Content: SFW (but there's one suggestive line), fluff, domestic life, etc.

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA is a surprisingly doting lover who is never ashamed to let the world know about your love-filled union.

"My wife—"

At Hotaru's 16th use of the word 'wife,' Kotetsu begins to feel his thoughts blur into anything but the unending spew of Haganezuka's wife-related stories. The young boy feels grateful that the hard-headed smith found a life partner; however, Kotetsu's patience is falling short, and he definitely does not want to know about your 10-month anniversary dinner.

Kotetsu feels a brief sigh of relief against his mask when Kanamori strolls inside the quiet teahouse. "Ah, Haganezuka-san and Kotetsu-shounen!"

Kotetsu sees Haganezuka swivel his head to face his younger colleague, and without missing a beat, he uses 'wife' for the 17th time in that very hour.

"My wife's birthday is coming up. She keeps telling me not to get her anything, but I'll be damned if I don't." Haganezuka regards Kanamori with a short nod.

"Oh, my En-chan says the same! Regardless, I'll gift her at least a bouquet of flowers. Just this other day, I came home to give her a—"

At this point, the two men were in a whole new dimension, exchanging stories about their married life. Kotetsu once again begrudgingly thanks the heavens for allowing Haganezuka to be passionate about something other than swords, but he feels himself sink onto the table as he thinks,

"There are two of them now..."

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA never fails to come home to you with a gift in hand, letting you know that you are always on his mind, no matter how hectic the forge gets.

"Here," he firmly places a haphazardly wrapped present on your palms. Your body jolts at the sudden weight on your arms, and you blink up at him in curiosity. "Open it."

"Hotaru," you cutely drawl out the last syllable of his name with a pout, shaking your head at your husband's stubbornness. Your lover is a gift-giver; after all, he is a maker of many marvelous blades and trinkets. In the earlier months of your relationship, he would court you with handmade jewelry, even if you bashfully tried to tell him that you'd appreciate even just simple quality time.

Lightly blushing from the adorable glint in your eye, he repeats himself, "Open it." You do just that, and you find yourself faintly gasp in wonder at a welded flower with the most intricate design he's done yet. It's made entirely out of shiny steel, reflecting your mesmerized expression on the metallic petals as you softly caressed the pattern on the leaves.

"Flowers die too quickly," he purses his lips — a mannerism he does whenever he feels shy — and turns his body to the side. "This one should last forever."

At a loss for words, you opt to kiss him meaningfully on his his blushing cheek. "I love it."

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA is still as stubborn as ever. He sometimes overworks his muscles until they are cramped and tense, so you — his beloved — offer to alleviate his pains with a soothing massage. He loves it.

You see Haganezuka roll his shoulders for the 5th time that morning. The crinkle of his brows seems to furrow deeper in silent aggravation.

Silently sighing, you embrace him from behind, letting your palms press firmly on his broad shoulders. This makes him groan in a mix of pain and relief, confirming that he is under discomfort.

"You never tell me when you're hurting," your breath is against his back, and you continue to massage his hard muscles.

"It's nothing that'll drag me away from smithing." His prideful quip makes you lightly slap his shoulder in annoyance, and it only makes him bark out a chuckle.

"Let me take care of you, okay?" You tip his head towards yours and bat your eyes in an attempt to persuade him. "Let's get you to bed."

Hotaru merely huffs as his lips form a suggestive smirk. "Fine, but you know I'd want to take care of you, too, my love."

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA will never want to prolong your arguments and misunderstandings. He may be a prideful and headstrong man, but he acknowledges your side and your feelings, even if a little begrudgingly.

The moment your husband raises his voice at you, you turn away and head to a separate room, urging yourself to regain composure as you blink away your tears.

You're aware that he doesn't mean any harm with his gruff shouts — it's more of a habit he developed due to his social ineptitude — but you can get caught up in a flurry of petty disagreements and feel saddened by his misdirected rage.

Knock, knock, knock.

You hear knuckles softly knock on the thin wooden door of your shared bedroom. Muttering a soft 'come in,' you wipe the residual tears from your face while Hotaru stalks towards you and joins you on your Western-style bed.

"I'm sorry," he exhales through his nose as he hesitantly wraps an arm around you. To his relief, you completed the embrace and snuggled close to his chest. "You're right. I shouldn't have gotten so angry at the vendor, even if he did look at you for far too long—"

"Hotaru," you cut him off in a scolding tone. "Having you beside me is enough to ward off any danger."

You gaze deeply into each others' eyes. "Just stay by my side, and we'll be fine." You softly kiss his parted lips.

Hotaru only sighs one more time. "Okay."

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA is protective, and his concern for your safety is immeasurable and genuine. He'll cease his work and come join you if you wish to go somewhere during the evening. You'll never feel lonely with him as your lover.

"Where are you heading?"

You feel yourself faintly jump at the sound of your husband's voice. You gaze at him as he shifts from his usual spot in the forge, a half-finished katana laying behind him.

He's been engulfed in his craft for the past 3 hours, staying completely silent and diligently focused on smithing; you simply didn't expect him to do anything else for the next few hours.

"I just want to walk outside for a while," you begin to open the sliding door to exit, but your movements are ceased when you see Haganezuka fully stand up from his station and walk towards you.

"Darling, you still have a sword to finish—"

"It's nearly nighttime. Don't be stupid." You try to protest but he stays rooted by your side. "I'm not leaving you alone."

With a bemused huff, you find yourself smile at the bulky masked man walking next to you.

You definitely feel much safer with Hotaru.

HUSBAND! HAGANEZUKA never leaves your home or sleeps without telling you he loves you. He shows it through his actions, but he regards the simple words as devoted declarations he will never forget to remind you of.

Haganezuka rises from slumber before the sun even fully peaks through the valley. It's part of his dedication to his duties as a swordsmith — the only downside is how he barely gets to spend slow mornings with you.

After firmly wrapping his scarf over his head, he stares at your sleeping figure behind his Hyottoko mask, and he feels nothing but rampant swirls of adoration and love.

He sits down next to you, his weight causing you to stir in your sleep. Lifting his battered and calloused palm towards your cheek, he caresses you softly with a smile behind his mask.

"I love you, and I cannot imagine a world without you." He adjusts his mask and kisses your forehead. "I love you."

Before he can entirely leave the bed, he feels your gentle grip tug on his arm. He looks at your smiling, half-asleep face as you whisper,

"I love you, too, Hotaru." You beckon him for another kiss, and he dips down to do just that.

At that moment, Haganezuka was certain — there won't ever be a life where you wouldn't be reborn as each others' lovers. He swears in his heart that he shall always be yours, as long as you allow him to be.

a/n: I miss Haganezuka a lot. Have some domestic fluff of him! Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! ☆

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tojiscrack · 10 months

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•°. *࿐ 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐄

tw: swearing, mention of nipples, arguing (counts as bantering), just chaos tbh

pairing: satoru gojo x reader

notes: the way i was bawling my eyes out for the new jjk ep that came out today whilst also trying to simultaneously stay happy for my husband’s birthday. had to distract myself, so here’s my gojo!birthday post! enjoyyy <33

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

certain events were taken very seriously in your household. it would be extremely unnatural if you missed something as simple as the first day back to school or the last day of school, even.

to be fair, as much excitement as you held for little events such as those, your partner’s excitement was enough to accustom every other member of your house (there were three of you, excluding satoru gojo).

seriously: he had only recently thrown a child-like tantrum because you’d forgotten the anniversary of your first sparring session three years ago — who even remembers shit like that? what happened to the normal, memorable events like valentines day, mothers day, or fathers day?

or birthdays.

now that was one you took extremely seriously. that was one you’d understand if satoru threw a tantrum over forgetting something as important as the day commemorating the year the world turned upside down by the birth of satoru gojo himself (it would have been nice if you were given a warning — putting up with him was forced labour, you firmly believe that you deserve to be paid).

and getting a gift for satoru was easy as pie. the man was so full of sunshines and daisies that he accepted nearly everything. it came to a point where you’d been under the impression that he was simply pretending for your sake, that you tried giving him one of nanami’s weird old pointed shoes during his 17th. needless to say, he was not pretending to like your gifts, and that was proven very well when the strongest sorcerer in the world held up the pair in one large hand, teary eyed with his lips wobbling.

drama queen, you thought in your head.

this year, you had much planned: the dinner table where you usually forbid a number of more than four candies or sweets were now filled with enough to diagnose him with diabetes and at least twenty cavities.

that was not all.

sometime last month, satoru had bought a pretty, blue dress for tsumiki (no special occasion, it was ‘speaking’ to him, apparently — his words, not yours) but it ended up being a size too small. you, wisely, suggested returning it, but the idiot came up with something… unique.

“just let megumi wear it!” he’d said with a giant grin.

megumi did not take that too well. despite the fact that you were already on his side, scolding satoru for constantly teasing the innocent boy, megumi had run back into your shared bedroom and returned with one of your own pretty blue dresses.

satoru looked down at him, his opaque, round glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose to reveal his scarily-blue eyes.

“oh?” he’d said, brows raised. “i mean i see why you’d want to wear that one, but —"

“i don’t want to wear it, creep,” snapped megumi, dropping the dress at satoru’s feet. the height difference was comical, megumi barely reached higher than the snow-haired man’s knee. “it’s for you.”

your eyes narrowed.

“now wait just a minute —”

“i’ll wear tsumiki’s dress the day you wear that one,” scoffed megumi, who knew very well that satoru would never stoop that low. he did not wait for another response before walking away.

you and satoru watched him leave; you looked at satoru, who shrugged at you, and before either of you could blink, megumi was at satoru’s knees again.

“wha—”

kick!

“ow!”

the dark haired kid ran off without a word, leaving satoru to rub at his knee with his glasses askew on his face.

“the kid can seriously kick, huh?” he grunted, bouncing on the heels of his feet as you had approached him with a scowl.

“that’s what you get for even saying such a stupid thing,” you told him as you pinched his arm to stop him from bouncing around. his face came to level with yours and you took the opportunity to fix his glasses before flicking him on the forehead. “put my dress away.”

satoru grinned at you.

“i’ll skin you alive if i see you in that.”

“i paid for it.”

“and you’ll do that again if you wear it.”

so that brought you to the present day, where you found yourself actually pleading with megumi to… wear the dress.

“no,” he said, glaring at you (a rare sight, because despite your obvious similarities in humour with satoru, megumi still preferred to side with you in every situation). “it’s ugly.”

“you didn’t say it was ugly when tsumiki said she liked it.”

“tsumiki’s —” started megumi, looking at you as if you’d grown three different heads. “tsumiki’s a girl! why is — what’s wrong with you people?”

“it’ll look funny!”

“exactly.”

“he’ll be here in a couple of minutes, megumi. just for a minute… please?” you reasoned, hands clasped in pleading. “i want to make sure his birthday is perfect.”

“at my expense.”

you stared at him. “why does a kid like you even know those words?”

tsumiki had walked in the room by that point, a party hat sitting on top of the braids you had expertly done for her that morning.

“he reads non-fiction books,” she answered your question easily, placing her own wrapped gift on the table with very little room due to the pastries and goodies.

“of course,” you sighed. “because that’s so normal for a seven year old kid. you know, forget the dress. want me to take you to a doctor instead?”

“you’re not normal either,” megumi shot back grumpily.

“i am!” you argued back, unaware of the fact that satoru was now in the process of unlocking the door. “aren’t i, tsumiki?”

the girl, though hesitant, nodded enthusiastically. you’ll take it.

“see, megumi? i’m norm— what are you staring at?”

megumi’s face had paled, his pupils growing smaller and smaller with whatever view behind you he was met with. your eyes darted to tsumiki, who also looked visibly shocked, but you knew her well enough to analyse the fact that she also looked very… amused.

what was so amusing?

“I’M HOOOOME!” sang satoru, his voice smooth as silk and loud as though he’d spoken through a megaphone.

but satoru wasn’t that shocking. satoru was just satoru. satoru was…

you turned around.

satoru was wearing a dress.

your dress.

the one you’d forbidden him from touching.

the one you’d explicitly threatened him with.

the one he knew was off-limits.

the one he had now stretched and ripped due to his broad shoulders, his muscular frame, his tall body.

satoru seemed blissfully unaware of the issue at hand, pouting as his blue eyes darted from you, to megumi, to tsumiki.

“what, no birthday songs? you know i love your singing, y/n —”

“is infinity on?” you asked slowly, voice shaky with frustration.

satoru blinked.

“huh?”

“is. infinity. on.”

“i mean — yeah — but —”

“okay,” you smiled, walking over to the table and presenting all the treats you’d bought for him. you picked up a cinnamon roll with your bare hands, ignoring the way the sugary icing was now dripping down your skin.

“oh! those for me? i knew you’d come through! remember that shoe you gave me back when —”

splatter!

it was a good thing you were known for hitting your targets every time: satoru’s — your — dress was now tainted with the mess only a delicious cinnamon roll could cause. it dropped to the floor after sliding down his front for a good five seconds as you, him, and the kids watched with interest.

he stared at the wasted treat, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape at the disaster. he looked back up again, ready to protest when he found you holding another one of his treats: it was kikufuku — edamame and cream flavour, also known as, satoru gojo’s favourite.

“hey, wait —”

smack!

square on the nose. target hit. mission… accomplished? no, not quite yet. that was not enough compensation for your previously, well-crafted, beloved dress.

the idiot tried catching it, only for it to slip between his unnecessarily long fingers and fall sadly onto the wooden floor.

“no!” he shouted dramatically, voice cracking with despair. “that was —”

“your favourite?” you finished off, head tilted mockingly. “i know. that was my dress.”

satoru shook his head vigorously; it would have made you laugh if not for the fact that the dress he was wearing belonged to you.

“it still is!” he stated desperately.

“it’s not even a dress anymore you stupid man-child!”

“i know it looks a little… weird —”

“just weird?”

“and… a little ripped —"

“a little?”

“but it’s still yo— put my kikufuku down right now!”

the next five minutes had been an unpleasant sight for all: you were trying to get him out of your ruined dress, he was trying to get his favourite treat out of your hand, not to be tragically wasted like the previous one. tsumiki had made one or two attempts to calm all the tension down, but megumi had hissed at her to stop interfering.

tsumiki knew it was because if the arguing had been an issue of the past, megumi and his claim that if satoru wore your dress then he’d wear tsumiki’s small one, would be an issue of the present.

satoru, with his arms wrapped around your body (somehow) to prevent you from grabbing another one of his goodies, looked over his shoulder to send a menacing glare to megumi.

“you’re not off the hook either, mister,” he said loudly, “get the dress on.”

you pushed satoru off of you with an impressive amount of strength seeing as he practically towered over you and bested you in physical strength any day.

“no, forget it megumi. he doesn’t deserve to see you in a dre—”

the rest of your sentence had been muffled by satoru’s large hand slapping over your mouth, making you stumble back in surprise and anger.

“ignore her megumi, put the damn dress on.”

you pulled at his already-dishevelled hair sharply. he bit back a high-pitched scream his inner girl had wanted to release.

“he doesn’t want to anyway, he’s not gonna listen to you!”

satoru tried pushing you with his chest away from the dinner table so it would be easier to hold you back. he’d decided that you wouldn’t give up on this, therefore creating some space between you and his beloved sugary treats would be ideal in this scenario.

“oi, i did what the little brat wanted me to do,” he hissed with fury. his hands closed around your wrist, he looked over his shoulder at megumi again. “and i feel like shit right now —”

“— no swearing in front of the kids —”

“— i feel like poop right now,” satoru obediently corrected himself without looking back at you. “now do your dad a favour and put the dress on —”

megumi gave him a look of disgust and did not hesitate to share his thoughts.

“ew you’re not my dad.”

and sometimes you genuinely believe that satoru has some mild form of adhd, for his attention diverted quickly from his physical battle with you to the random one picked up by megumi.

“what the hell?”

but it still seemed as though one side of his brain was still working, he hadn’t let go of your wrists just yet.

“oh my god,” you sighed, looking over at tsumiki as though she could help you in any way: the young girl shrugged, fiddling with the little bands that went round her face in order to keep her party hat in place.

“pause, this is getting really serious right now and i don’t like it,” said satoru, and then quickly turned his head to face you with a glare. “not that you wasting my food isn’t serious.”

you struggled with his iron-tight grip on your wrists.

“i paid for all of that,” you reminded him charmingly.

“and i paid for this dress.”

“and you also wrecked it,” you snapped, eyeing what once used to be your beautiful blue dress that now looked like something you’d seen peasants wear in a movie.

“i’ll buy you a closet full of dresses if that’s what you want!” satoru argued back.

“i don’t want a closet full of dresses,” you retorted, and then paused, looking up thoughtfully. “but i’ll hold you to that.”

satoru blinked at you, confused; you shook your head and focused.

“i want that dress!” you demanded angrily, the battle continuing despite yourself. “and you didn’t heed my warning, so your kikufuku and everything else i bought you gets it.”

“you’re evil —”

“and you look like a fool!”

satoru did not deny that, so with his eyes still trained on you, narrowing them slowly, he exhaled through his nose.

“megumi, i won’t ask again. wear the dress.”

before you could go for the dinner table again, satoru ducked and lifted you by your waist, using his long legs to make large strides towards the couch. you protested, your hands had instinctively held onto his shoulders, and without them, you could not fight back. you opted to dig your nails into him instead — he hissed but made no complaints as he continued to quickly jog you over to the couch.

“megumi!” you called out loudly: the boy still remained where you had last spoken to him, by the chairs of the table with a party hat he’d been fiddling with beneath his chin. “don’t —”

you were interrupted by your own gasp when your back harshly met the soft cushions of the couch. you did not have to focus that hard to hear megumi’s quiet ‘wasn’t planning on it’.

“one down, another to go!” cheered satoru, way too joyful for your liking.

your gaze hardened, taking a cushion and dashing it at the back of his head with as much force as you could gather. of course, you never missed, but it did little to stop satoru from approaching megumi (other than the offended look he sent you in that ridiculous dress you tried so hard not to laugh at).

megumi remained stagnant, his glare hardening with each step satoru took to get closer to him.

“clown,” muttered megumi, jumping off of the chair he’d been sitting on and running to his room.

“oh, good plan!” satoru called after him with a smile. “you go and get the dress and i’ll stay and wait here!”

tsumiki coughed nervously. “erm — i don’t think he’s going to get th—”

she cut herself off when she saw you get back up and charge towards satoru. he turned around a second too late, you’d pushed him back and grabbed a handful of random pastries and sweets, throwing them at him without another thought.

“you’re gonna have to use hollow purple to stop me,” you said over his shouts of protests.

“jokes — jokes on — oh my god, no! — jokes on you, i — stop! — could just use infinity!”

“what’s the point? the food gets wasted anyway, genius.”

the food war (and physical battle, when satoru had decided that enough was enough and the only way to pacify you was to beat you in a clash of strength) had gone on for at least another ten minutes. you were growing exhausted, but satoru? satoru, that monster, was still fighting you as if your attacks were nothing.

stamina now seemed like water on a dry desert for you.

but you refused to give up.

“i can see your nipple, you pervert, ew!” you shouted from underneath him.

it was an odd mix of your limbs. you were trying to flip him over but the stretch his body when you twisted his torso somehow only caused the fabric across his chest to tear, revealing one of his nipples.

“you see it every night,” satoru shot back with a grin.

you wanted to slap the smug look on his face badly.

“that’s why i tell you to stop sleeping shirtless every night —”

“why are you complaining? any other woman would be glad to —”

“what are you guys doing?” tsumiki’s soft voice interrupted you like the smooth spread of butter on toast.

the two of you looked up; your jaws dropped.

tsumiki had taken the time that you guys spent fighting to change out of her simple, regular dress and put on one of the new ones satoru had bought for her sometime last week. it was a similar shade to the blue he’d wanted megumi to wear (for some odd reason, the weirdo?) but was definitely much more flattering. much, much more prettier.

and it was her size.

“get off of me, you —"

“— no swearing —"

“you woman fetishise-r —”

“what’s that?” asked tsumiki, as you both got to your feet and dusted yourselves off.

“yeah, what’s that, y/n?” satoru cheekily repeated, staring at you as if he needed the answer or he’d die a sad and painful death.

“it’s —” you began sharply, trying not to kill him with your death stare before looking back at tsumiki with a smile, “it’s not important. the real question is: what’s that?”

“…it’s a dress,” said satoru unhelpfully. he was looking at you as if you had discovered new learning difficulties.

“another peep out of you and you’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” you threatened him quietly.

you did not need to look at him to know that he was pouting like a kicked puppy. at least he was mute, but not for long, it seemed.

“you’d do that to me on my birthda—”

“i’ve done a lot to you today, don’t push it,” you said, still eyeing tsumiki’s dress with obvious amazement and interest. you approached her, bending down to her height and tucking back some of the flyaways on her head. “it makes you look like a princess —”

“and it stopped you guys from fighting,” she smiled… like a princess.

satoru glared down at you, well aware that you could not see him.

“yeah i’m still not done with her —”

“i’ll make you sit in the naughty chair, gojo,” you said menacingly.

he wanted to let out a long, exaggerated sigh, but the sound of tsumiki laughing at your… mutual banter (?) had drawn his attention away from your backside to her and her new dress.

“ah,” sighed satoru, rubbing the back of his neck, “still wanted to see megumi in a dress.”

“can it, gojo.”

“i did!” he responded, sounding like a child getting scolded by their mother. he looked down at tsumiki and brushed her party hat aside to ruffle her hair (though not enough to mess her neat braids up). “i mean — you look so pretty with it on, i just wore this stupid dress for nothing now.”

“mhm,” you nodded, rising to your full height to raise a brow at him.

he shrugged, picking up an unwrapped lindor bar from the table. “can i at least get a picture of myself?”

“no,” you rolled your eyes. “your entire thought about putting megumi in a dress was just plain dumb, satoru.”

tsumiki blinked up at you. “but you spent all day trying to get megumi to agree to —”

your eye twitched as you felt satoru’s amused and interested stare directed at your cheek. you refused to look back at him.

you loved tsumiki, you really did. but just like any other kid, she had a tendency of speaking about something when it was very clear that it was simply not required. in other words, she spoke to make matters worse for you — unknowingly, of course. it stung a little more seeing as being proven wrong against the smug bastard that is satoru gojo is enough to make you want to jump into a big, black hole and never return again.

the idiot was just that cocky.

“a dumb idea, huh?” you heard him say.

you closed your eyes, as though they were the source of your hearing.

“mhm…” you hummed, irritated.

“that so?” said satoru, and when you did not respond, he took it as an opportunity to go on, and on, and on.

“aw, you did that for me?”

“just for me?”

“and she spent all day doing that, did she?”

“of course she did, look at all those treats for me!”

“i mean — not out of the ordinary for her to be bugging megumi but for me?”

“you know what?” you interrupted him loudly. you faced him with a frown. “i want a divorce!”

satoru stared down at you, glanced at tsumiki, before blinking down at you again. he raised his snow-white brow at you, acting as though you’d said something that deserved ten years in jail.

“we’re not even married!”

“and whose fucking fault is that?”

“language!”

“happy birthday!” you stated angrily, reaching up and kissing him on his cheek before storming out of the room, unaware of the dazed look he sent after you, unaware of the pink dusting his cheeks, unaware of the dreamy sigh he let out when the door slammed loud enough to shake the rest of the house.

soon, that argument could never be used against him, especially not by you.

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seeminglydark · 1 year

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Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

#rj rambles #this is really long im sorry anon #i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear #thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it

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impromptu-sketches · 9 months

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BUDDY DADDIES MASTER POST

Happy Buddy Daddies 1 Year Anniversary!!!!

To celebrate 1 year Buddy Daddies, I've created this master post featuring the english sub episode list and all of the extra content in chronological order for new and re-watchers to enjoy! Plus, my commentary 🩵💁🏻‍♀️

✨ If you're about to watch Buddy Daddies for the first time, I recommend going in blind except for reading my little blurb below.

Buddy Daddies is a 12 episode original anime from P.A. WORKS that aired from January 7th to April 1st, 2023 about two assassin partners who somehow end up taking in a four-year-old girl. You can watch it in sub or dub on Crunchyroll. I personally recommend watching it in sub especially for the first watch.

CONTENT LIST

Dec. 9, 2022 | Before the series aired, there was a short preview from Kazuki's POV.

December 31st, 2022 | Also before the series began, they debuted Kazuki's instagram account - fantastic_sweeper0516 - which has real life photos of Fukuoka, Japan, the city where the anime takes place and photos of food that they (mostly Kazuki) makes in the show. I don't think many people knew about his instagram account until later into the series. Kazuki's 1st instagram post: fantastic_sweeper051 - street photo

January 2nd, 2023 | Kazuki's 2nd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - street photo

January 5th, 2023 | Kazuki's 3rd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - grocery shopping

January 5th, 2023 | Kazuki's 4th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - cooking

January 6th, 2023 | Kazuki's 5th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - work outfit

January 6th, 2023 | Kazuki's 6th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - cooking

January 7th, 2023 | Episode 1: Piece of Cake

January 7th, 2023 | Kazuki's 7th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - cooking

January 7th, 2023 | Kazuki's 8th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - dinner

January 11th, 2023 | Kazuki's 9th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - street photo

January 12th, 2023 | Kazuki's 10th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - apartment photo

January 14th, 2023 | Episode 2: The Kiss of Death

January 15th, 2023 | Kazuki's 11th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - cooking

January 16th, 2023 | Kazuki's 12th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

January 18th, 2023 | Kazuki's 13th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

January 19th, 2023 | Kazuki's 14th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - playground photo

January 20th, 2023 | Kazuki's 15th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

January 21st, 2023 | Episode 3: Spice of Life

January 22nd, 2023 | Kazuki's 16th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

January 22nd, 2023 | Kazuki's 17th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - banana note

January 24th, 2023 | Kazuki's 18th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - breakfast

January 28th, 2023 | Episode 4: What Will Be, Will Be

January 29th, 2023 | Kazuki's 19th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - clothing store

January 31st, 2023 | Kazuki's 20th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - sewing

February 1st, 2023 | Kazuki's 21st instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - journal

February 4th, 2023 | Episode 5: Crunch Time

February 5th, 2023 | Kazuki's 22nd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - financial planning

February 11th, 2023 | Episode 6: Love is Blind

February 11th, 2023 | Kazuki's 23rd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

February 12th, 2023 | Kazuki's 24rd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

February 15th, 2023 | Kazuki's 25th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - food

February 18th, 2023 | Episode 7: After Rain Comes Fair Weather

February 18th, 2023 | Kazuki's 26th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - note

February 20th, 2023 | Kazuki's 27th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - cooking attempt

February 22nd, 2023 | Kazuki's 28th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - after dinner

February 23rd, 2023 | Kazuki's 29th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - new umbrella

February 25th, 2023 | Episode 8: Nothing Seek, Nothing Find

February 25th, 2023 | Kazuki's 30th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Rei's birthday cake (Rei's birthday is August 10th which is when this takes place in the show)

March 4th, 2023 | Episode 8.5: Recap episode that summarizes episodes 1-8 with Kazuki and Rei's narration (mostly Kazuki's).

I personally recommend watching this because I enjoyed their voice overs, it added even more cuteness.

March 11th, 2023 | Episode 9: No Sweet Without Sweat

March 11th, 2023 | Kazuki's 31st instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Rei cooking

March 11th, 2023 | Kazuki's 32nd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Rei's cooking

March 18th, 2023 | Episode 10: Lost At Sea

March 18th, 2023 | Kazuki's 33rd instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Ferris wheel :'(

March 21, 2023 | Dangle on YouTube posts an English cover of the opening song, SHOCK! by Ayase.

I didn't know about this until JUNE!!! And then I analyzed the lyrics of both the original and the cover. Absolutely LOVE both the opening and credits songs + this english version.

March 25th, 2023 | Episode 11: Everyone Will Be Hypocrites

March 29th, 2023 | Kazuki's 34th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - breakfast

March 31st, 2023 | Kazuki's 35th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - french toast

April 1st, 2023 | Episode 12: Daughter Daddies (series finale)

The end! And then I cried for three days straight ☠️ But fear not! We've been blessed with more content all year! The lovely @Lily_20210401 on Twitter, one of the animators who worked on Buddy Daddies (so I consider these canon-ish), has posted many drawings of the characters throughout the year. We also got four drama CDs which were AMAZING!!!! And Kazuki's instagram has continued! These and more are listed below.

May 16th, 2023 | Kazuki's 36th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Kazuki's birthday cake! (Kazuki's birthday is indeed on May 16th)

May 24th, 2023 | Kazuki's 37th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - nighttime street photo

June 29th, 2023 | Kazuki's 38th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - hydrangea garden

June 2023 | Special Drama CD Volume 1 Audio on Soundcloud & English translation by kudouusagi on Tumblr. Thank you kudouusagi!!! ♡♡♡ We appreciate you!!

Also for the Drama CD Volume 1, the angel known as gandoon on Youtube posted the Special Drama CD Volume 1 with English subtitles and images from the anime. (ノ ˘_˘)ノ thank you gandoon.

Summer 2023 | Special Drama CD Volume 2 Audio on Soundcloud & English translation by kudouusagi on. Tumblr. Thank you, kudouusagi ♡ Drama CD photo thanks to @moriokart ♡

Summer 2023 | Special Drama CD Volume 3 Audio on Soundcloud & English translation by kudouusagi on Tumblr. Thank you, kudouusagi ♡ Drama CD photo thanks to @moriokart ♡

Summer 2023 | Special Drama CD Volume 4 Audio on Soundcloud & English translation by kudouusagi on Tumblr. Thank you, kudouusagi ♡ you're the best! Drama CD photo thanks to @moriokart ♡

August 11th, 2023 | Kazuki's 39th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Rei's birthday cake! (a day late) (Rei's birthday is August 10th)

November 8th, 2023 | Kazuki's 40th instagram post: fantastic_sweeper0516 - Miri's Birthday cake! (Miri's birthday is indeed November 8th)

This is currently the most recent post. More to come?

Throughout 2023 | The amazing Lily on Twitter has posted drawings of the characters throughout the year and will continue to post them in 2024!! Her latest has them celebrating the holidays and the new year!

★゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

I plan on adding all of her drawings to this master list, but since there's so many that will take a while longer.

I also plan on adding to this list as new content comes out!

OFFICIAL LINKS

Official Website

Official Twitter

Even more news & content on their official platforms including the full soundtrack and an 'on air' radio show.

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies anniversary #anime #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #miri unasaka

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fossilclaws · 1 year

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Thursday was the anniversary of Diamond/Pearl’s release, but MORE IMPORTANTLY it was my Roserade’s birthday :)

Happy 17th to Rosea the Roserade, my partner Pokémon since I was 7 years old 💐💞

#fossildraws #oc #pokemon #rosea #roserade #roselia #budew #grass type #diamond pearl platinum #gen 4 pokemon #pokemon gen 4 #pokemon diamond #pokemon pearl #diamond and pearl #artists on tumblr

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ladyiristheenchantress · 19 days

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Anniversary Witchcraft

As you all may or may not know, I am a married witch! I have spoken about my husband before in our motorcycles and car magic post, however I felt now would be an amazing time to talk about some of the rituals we do on anniversaries coming up! (September 17th to be exact) First of all, Happy 7 years darling, I am so proud to be your wife every day, and I am so grateful you have been my raven, my rock, and my partner in crime. I so adore you, and I cant wait to spend the rest of our time on the Tellus Mater together. Till death do us part, but even then we will remain ghosts on our record player. With that said, lets get started!

What is magical about an anniversary?

Much like any holiday, we create personal celebrations like birthdays, celebrations of life, and anniversaries to keep track of the time that has been spend together. It should be a celebration of love and strong living together! The first instance of a wedding anniversary comes from ancient Rome, where on each year of marriage the spouses would crown each other with things (more traditionally, the husbands to their wives) and on their 25th anniversary they would be crowned with a wreath of silver.

Later on, in 18th century Germany, people started a tradition of gift giving, and eventually created a yearly symbol you gift to someone as a tradition each year to ward off spirits, people looking to harm the bond, and even in some cases death itself!

Today we celebrate anniversaries around the world, whether you are recreating Armenian balance bread, or trying out Japanese senbazuru, however you choose to celebrate may it be unique and full of love!

Magical Ideas

Now we may need some spell and divination ideas for our anniversaries so here are some of the ones my husband and I love!

Follow the yearly gift guide! - This fun tradition is actually celebrated and honors world wide cultures because a lot of them had their own yearly traditions adapted into one! The old saying goes on your first year you give paper, the 5th you give wood, 10th you give aluminum, 25th you give silver, and 50th you give gold! These guides are a fun way to get connected to your relationship but also honors tradition which can strengthen your relationship magically!

2. Create a protection ritual for the year on your anniversary - when you start thinking about how to preserve your relationship you get a lot of factors you have to plan for. Every year my husband and I put obsidian arrowheads in the corner of our bedroom as a way to protect our sacred relationship! this process can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be

3. Petition and honor deities of marriage - Each year my husband and I honor 3 gods, Hera, Aine, and Zepar! This is because we wanted to honor our pagan practices and heritage in our marriage, so we picked one hellenic for my history, one irish for both of our ancestoral line, and one infernal for my husbands history! We do also petition elemental spirits, and update them as we do our yearly river walk

4. Create a shrine to your relationship - We created an altar to dedicate all our gifts to each other, and important works of art we have created, when we put together a shrine for our love, it really helped up to feel connected, so we like to renew it every year

5. Do some divination about the year ahead - Feel free to use this custom spread I use each year! Its awesome if you can do this together! Additionally, you can use cafe astrology to create a free "birth chart" for the day and time of your anniversary

Other ideas?

For my 18+ friends, design a sensual ritual that involves all 5 senses to link yours together

Create a magical meal together to protect and honor the relationship

Create a joint journal or scrap book for memories

Exchange cards, gifts, and sweets to make the other person feel special

Enjoy a nice time out getting coffee or exploring a garden

Make the bed together, and do chores together during the day, then rest and relax at night

In general anniversaries are special! I will be making an age restricted post about sexual magic very soon so stay tuned for that! I hope all of my friends have enjoyed this post, and from our family to yours, happy anniversary!

Tip Jar

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skullamity · 19 days

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I don't make a whole lot of personal posts on here anymore, but yesterday was @femonologue and I's 17th wedding anniversary. We bucked the trend of forgetting it until like a week after it occurred (thank you adhd) and actually made plans (and this pasta holy shit it was good).

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I would like to take a minute to reflect on how much a relationship that lasts this long is work. Not to scare anyone off, but the two of us made the decision to get married at age 22 and of all the friends who got married in the few years after that, we are one of two couples that I know of who have not been divorced and/or remarried one or more times.

It was crazy lucky that we ended up being as compatible as we are, and it has not always been easy. I am confident in making the statement that neither of us knew who we were as people OR as adults when we tied the knot, as evidenced by the fact that I came out as trans and transitioned in 2016, and that she came out and started transitioning last year. Those are big changes that really threw both of us for the loop, and I understand that a lot of relationships where even just one of the participants transitions have pretty high failure rates for an infinite number of reasons.

I guess if I could give any advice about being married, it would be this:

- don't get married before you're ready, even if you feel like pressure you're getting from family members to not 'live in sin' seems reasonable. Breaking up because you lived together first is messy but cheaper and less traumatic than a divorce.

- LIVE TOGETHER FIRST! I know so many relationships that were great for years while the participants lived separately, and then fell apart after they moved in together and became acquainted with all of each other's annoying habits and clashing ideas on how to maintain a household. Don't let your incompatibilities be a surprise for after the wedding, move in together first and try and come to a mutually agreeable way of living when there's less pressure for you to figure your collective shit out.

- kids are stressful, never have them as a gamble to "make things work" because I have never seen them not make things WORSE when the parents split. Have a straightforward talk about how many kids you want, when you wanna have them and how you want to raise them before you are even married, and if you cannot see eye to eye or find yourself hoping your partner will change their mind about key points of contention in the future, STOP. It is okay to break up and stop wasting each other's time!

- never get married because you think you will never find anyone else who wants to marry you. You will, and you do not have to settle for someone who you aren't even sure likes you as a person 90% of the time. It is NEVER too late to call off a wedding. It doesn't matter if you have down payments on services or venues, or sent out save the dates or invitations. It isn't too late even if you've accepted shower gifts or the wedding is next fukken week--it's embarassing to call it off that close to the line, but it's better than trapping yourself for years because you feel like it's too late to back out. I promise you that your friends and family want you to be happy and would not like it if you only married someone shitty or incompatible because you thought they would judge you for calling it off the night before. They WILL understand, and if they don't? You can re-examine your relationship with them, too, while you're taking out the trash.

- we all bring our own baggage and traumas into relationships, and the only way for them to mesh is communication. I NEED to address things right away because my brain just does not settle into cooldown mode if we take a fifteen minute breather or decide to sleep on it, and my wife NEEDS space to cool down before we talk things out, and it took a lot of actual communication to figure out where we were not meshing in these instances and how to work around that. If you want things to work out, you HAVE to talk about it, and if talking about it is not productive or makes things worse, then couples therapy is NOT a death knell for your relationship and you should try it.

- Being married is learning to put someone else first in ways you couldn't imagine. When I came out as trans, even though I knew we were solid and had a fairly good idea about how she would react, I still made it clear from the get-go that I knew that being married to a dude was NOT what she signed up for, and that if we needed to split for that reason, I understood. Did it get me called a dumbass? Yes. But did she understand where I was coming from and what I meant and why I was offering? Also yes.

- T4T marriages rule, and if you are trans and set on bagging a cis person, think very carefully about why you want that and if it will actually get you what you want. I can recognize that being with a cis person who accepts you as your gender can feel validating and reinforce the need to be and feel normal in a hundred different ways, but if that's the main reason you have mentally nixed the idea of ever dating another trans person, you have some stuff to work though and might wanna get that sorted before you marry anyone.

- you've got to be able to think of yourselves as a team, even when you disagree. Personally I have always pictured us as goofy old timey black and white cartoon bankrobbers with bandit masks, one of us driving the getaway carriage full of sacks with crudely drawn dollar signs on them while the other cackles and throws lit sticks of dynamite at the pursuing sherriff and deputy. Even if we are disagreeing, that image instantly makes me laugh and take whatever I was mad about a little less seriously.

Finally, I am using the app and accidentally clicked the poll option thinking it was a bullet point list and now I can't figure out how to get rid of it, so I'll take this opportunity to ask the most important question:

Here are pictures of how ours turned out:

I could not have imagined how delicious these turned out, eating it was transcendent, neither of will ever be the same.

#t4t #marriage #advice #August's personal ramblings #shit we are OLD

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cumaeansibyl · 1 year

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It's our 17th anniversary today and like when people say "marriage is hard work" that can mean a lot of things! and sometimes what they really mean is "there will be times when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders and everything is exhausting and it's hard to do *anything* well in those circumstances, including being the kind of partner you want to be; but loving them is still easy, it's the easiest thing."

Happy anniversary, I'm so glad it's you

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theofficersacademy · 9 months

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2024 is here at last! The mod team wishes you health and fortune in the year to come.

Housekeeping

Current Month in TOA: Verdant Rain Moon

Our first lore event of 2024 begins this month! It will begin at noon EST on January 1st and run until the beginning of February. Please wait until the event begins for the team announcements and more information.

Inventories are locked in according to what you signed up with. Signups for the event will not be reopening at this time.

If you missed it last month, TOA held a Secret Santa event! Everyone pulled through with some really cool gifts, have a look if you've not already!

Please don’t forget to leave feedback on our [feedback poll] for this month! If you have feedback during the course of the event, feel free to leave it whenever it crosses your mind, but we will have specific questions about it on February’s form.

On the topic of the feedback poll, we would like to remind everyone that the mods are all people too. Being passive aggressive and rude serves no one. Please also make sure that if you're calling our attention to a problem, that you're being specific about that problem (quoting/timestamping recent incidents, for example) and not just vaguely alluding to some situation that we have to sleuth out instead.

Important Updates

Starting from this month on, it is requested that all asks with claims in them wait a minimum of 48 hours before resending or asking a moderator if it went through unless you are sending a claim on the final day of an event prize period. This is separate from the 24-hour clause about application/reserve submissions.

Starting today, we will be requiring that all members use a google sheets tracker for keeping track of their stats. We understand that this transition will take time for existing members, however, so we will not be penalizing the lack of skill point trackers yet. We will be working on gathering templates for you to use, and will link these options to our application for future members to fill out. If you need help, please contact Mod Rai.

We've had some feedback this past year about muns repeatedly & rapidly swapping through muses, and would like to address it. We do not encourage people holding onto muses longer than they should if they aren't gelling with a character. However, it becomes a problem when someone is swapping through muses with exceeding frequency. Please think carefully before taking the plunge on a new muse, as frequent drops affect your partners, too. We have, over the past few months begun to - and will continue to - approach these muns with a one-month cooldown between swapping/picking up a new muse, if need be.

Other

January Mun Birthdays: Sage (3rd), Key (6th), Grant (9th), Darcy (9th), Maddie (12th), Annie (12th), Sara (14th), Neffi (17th)

January Muse Birthdays: Bramimond (1st), Nils (1st), Altena (3rd), Ingrid (4th), Rhea (11th), Rolf (12th), Rosado (19th), F!Alear (20th), M!Alear (20th), Marth (21st), Selena (FE14) (21st)

First-year mun anniversaries this month: Ivy (1st)

Second-year mun anniversaries this month: Sage (14th), Alina (21st)

Third-year mun anniversaries this month: Reddo (11th), Rua (15th)

First-year muse anniversaries this month: Chad (25th), Linus (29th)

Second-year muse anniversaries this month: Chrom (1st)

Third-year muse anniversaries this month: Maria (11th), F!Byleth (15th)

Muses who have been in the group for a solid year will also be granted an Academy Brooch to put in their inventory. It doesn’t do anything. It just lets others know your character has been around the block. These characters are also granted a new opportunity to change houses if they wish to do so.

- The House Leaders

#toa newsletter #january newsletter

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my-friend-called-me-spaceman · 2 years

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I started this at 5:13am.

I’m thinking about how both Chris Chibnall and Chris Eccleston said- at multiple different times- that Mandip Gill and Billie Piper are FANTASTIC actors and could’ve should’ve easily played the doctor, but instead were cast as their respective Doc’s faithful companions who fell in love with them, (and the Doctor falling for them back).

And while, yeah- imagining Gill and Piper absolutely KILLING those roles, having two female Doc’s in the reboot (and starting the NuWho with a female Doc from the get-go!) Is enticing... I can’t help but mull over what my wandering mind has suggested to me: A new Doc gets an old face.

It’d be a similar situation to what Capaldi’s Doctor (who I love) faced, with the explanation of another “why this face- what’s familiar about this face?? but with a whollllotta angst

Could You Imagine Though??

Think down the line, 16th/ 17th+ Doc now... What if we got a doctor with one of their previous Love’s face? (ie: Rose/ Yaz)

She’s just been through the wringer (probably), is now trying to get a feel for this new regeneration, and then hears her loved one talking from her mouth?? The shear whiplash of that would be catatonic.

Everything reminds her of what she lost. Most glaringly the voice and looks.

The Doctor still has her own mind, but explaining how the suckers on a Zygon have to be properly cared for- (because healthcare is pretty bad, even amongst aliens), or why exactly there is a solar system completely made up of moons- (as an homage to the 1,000th Anniversary of the instant intergalactic film “A Grand Day Out - Landing on the Moon”), to their newest companion- and hearing her lost love’s voice explaining these things throws her.

The doctor hating mirrors, even more-so than before, self-esteem ain’t high in the Doc’s world already, but now because every single time she sees herself, she sees who she lost.

And it hurts.

It burned a new kind of cruelty when she briefly starts rambling off about the places to go and the chameleon circuit and things- just babbles! Before catching a view of herself in the mirror and breaking down because another companion has her ever-expansive, explosive mind stuck in their body. fFUC-

Every time she explains something or makes quips, she hears her partner’s voice instead of her own. It’s excruciating. And exhausting.

Sleep doesn’t come easily when the screams of your love wakes you up in the middle of the night, only for you to realize that they are your own.

So she gets quiet. Especially at the beginning. Maybe she takes up Sign Language, (not that she don’t already know it- but it’s constantly changing and evolving faster than people may think... esp across space n time), she becomes more adept at just throwing quick easy signs up and gesticulating across the room rather than actually verbally communicating. She gets really into art, chess, music, podcasts, anything to distract from hearing her partner’s voice all the time.

And the look. Oh, every Doctor has their own “look,” but now for her- it’s doubly important. This is a person she cares about, she can’t just throw them in anything (regardless of if they could never look bad to her), but she also needs to be in something else- something different to what they would wear so she doesn’t do double takes every time she walks down the street.

There’s also the body itself- now technically her own, but she can’t seem to shake that it still belongs to someone else from another time, in a separate place. That’s gonna be Weird n Awkward for a bit.

But then... time makes things better. (As it tends to do).

She makes kids smile on the street, wears extravagant homemade Halloween costumes, and welcomes the random chess game with a stranger at the occasional park. She uses funny voices, kicks bigot ass, and spends as much time listening as she used to spend talking, as to not “talk over” others just to distract herself. She tries to not be as swanky and show-y off as much, but to always take the silly route to any explanation and make people laugh, (even if they’re shaking their heads in her direction while doing it).

And throughout this whole regeneration, she realizes that she’s been good. Really good. Better than she’s felt in a long time actually, feeling more fulfilled, confident, and happy than she’s been in a while. She’s gotten to make her loved one- loved by all. To make them shine, not only in her book, but across the stars as well.

And so the next time her new companion makes her laugh and she hears her loved one laugh in her place- she can say the tears in the corner of her eyes the companion points out when she turns her head actually are from laughing to hard this time, nothing else.

#rose tyler #yasmin khan #thasmin #tenrose #my sleep deprived thoughts i wanted to share #fckaroo fckaroni fckaround n findout #how we all feelin tonight??#Cries n Fries?#cries n fries.#ohshit #doctor who

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