#17.9% are you okay? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pokepollsters · 7 months ago

Text

Best Pokémon Protagonist Tournament- Stats Breakdown!

After many weeks of voting, we concluded that Tumblr's favourite Protagonist is Akari- but we still have a lot of other data to sift through that we can learn from! Read more to find out about the most and least popular matches, the averages, and maybe most importantly- who won the biggest sweep?

As usual, let's start with the total number of votes across the whole tournament. This time it was 15,433 votes over 25 matches for an average 617 votes per match- slightly lower than our last tournament (20,353 total and 727 average) but still the second most popular tournament we've run. If you include the preliminaries, however, the total number of votes increases to 21,204 over 35 matches and 1 tiebreaker- an average of 589.

Next up, a look at the average votes a contestant brought in- who was a bigger draw than the others? Who inspired the most enthusiastic voting? When we rank them, this is how it stacks up:

Hilda- 494 (2,472 votes across 5 matches)

Akari- 461 (2,304 votes across 5 matches)

Dawn- 374 (1,868 votes across 5 matches)

Serena- 330 (989 votes across 3 matches)

May- 328 (1,641 votes across 5 matches)

Rosa- 319 (958 votes across 3 matches)

Hilbert- 315 (631 votes across 2 matches)

Red- 314 (629 votes across 2 matches)

Gloria- 310 (930 votes across 3 matches)

Lyra- 308 (617 votes across 2 matches)

Kris- 278 (278 votes in 1 match)

Leaf- 248 (248 votes in 1 match)

Ethan- 234 (234 votes in 1 match)

Selene- 223 (223 votes in 1 match)

Lucas- 209 (209 votes in 1 match)

Rei- 189 (189 votes in 1 match)

Juliana- 155 (155 votes in 1 match)

Elio- 139 (139 votes in 1 match)

Nate- 125 (125 votes in 1 match)

Brendan- 112 (112 votes in 1 match)

Chase- 109 (109 votes in 1 match)

Calem & Elaine- 103 (103 votes in 1 match each)

Victor- 88 (88 votes in 1 match)

Florian- 80 (80 votes in 1 match)

Through this ranking, we can get a general idea of the top ten (according to our voters anyway), and yes, as we all observed in the tournament, the girls are far more popular! 80% of the top 10 are ladies, and only 2 men are in the top half at all- 3 if you include Ethan sitting in exactly the middle.

Of specific note, the top 3 are indeed our medal winners, though Hilda and Akari are swapped in position- and we're about to see that same phenomenom in the next list. And poor Florian sits at the bottom, only 80 votes to his name, proving beyond a doubt that the girls are more popular when his counterpart who wears the exact same outfit sits several places higher in 17th.

Okay! On to average vote share. When comparing our contestants, who- on average anyway- took home the biggest proportion of the votes within their matches? And yes, I've already given you a little spoiler about our top two.

Hilda- 68.7%

Akari- 67.7%

Gloria- 64%

Dawn- 60.1%

May- 56.8%

Rosa- 56.4%

Hilbert- 54.3%

Lyra- 53.4%

Serena- 52.5%

Red- 44.7%

Leaf- 42.9%

Kris- 42.4%

Lucas- 40.9%

Rei- 38.7%

Ethan- 35.3%

Selene- 35.2%

Elio- 29.4%

Nate- 21%

Chase- 19.7%

Brendan- 19%

Elaine- 17.9%

Victor- 17.8%

Calem- 17.2%

Florian- 16.5%

Juliana- 16.1%

With a few notable differences, this list is largely similar to the last- in fact our top 10 are identical, albeit with the rankings shifted around a bit. Dawn loses her 3rd place spot to Gloria, and Red is barely hanging on to the 10th spot, but he's still there!

As I mentioned before, Hilda tops this list, not Akari- it seems increasingly clear that with how popular she is, only Akari could've beaten her for that gold medal! Down at the other end though, Florian manages not to be last, this time only losing to his female counterpart- perhaps the girls aren't always popular after all? But it's hard to argue against the same proportion of boys in the top half as before- only 2 (with that coveted middle spot now going to Lucas instead of Ethan).

Now time for my one and only graph! I think it's nice to have some data in a visual form, but I try and keep the important stuff in text form so it's easy to read and more accurate. But here's our lovely pie chart of what proportion of the total tournament votes each contestant got.

Last but by no means least, it's time for individual match stats.

The most voted on match was Round 1: Match 8, Juliana vs Hilda, with 964 votes- just shy of 1,000. Closely following behind it was the finals, with 939 votes. On the other end, the least voted on poll (outside of the preliminaries, which had on average lower votes anyway) was Round 3: Match 3, May vs Gloria, with 483 votes. With only 3 votes more at 486, was Round 2: Match 7, Florian vs Hilda.

Individually, the person to gain the most votes in a single poll was Hilda, once again in that Round 1 match where she got 809 votes! Poor Florian in his Round 2 match got only 80 votes, however- the least in a single match.

The last thing we always look at is margins. For the closest match this competition, we look to Round 2: Match 3, Red vs Lyra. While it shares the exact same 4.6% margin as the final match did, the vote margin was smaller, with only 30 votes separating them (compared to 43 in the finals).

And now- the biggest sweep. Here we specifically look at margins, not votes, but in this case it's one and the same. The match we keep mentioning- Round 1: Match 8- ended in a huge 67.8% margin, or 654 votes. Hilda may not have won the gold in the tournament porper, but she absolutely swept the competition in these stats, and earns herself a spot in the biggest sweep hall of fame.

After all that, we're finally finished. Thank you so much for sticking around through this competition, and I can't wait to see you back here again soon for the next one! Currently a poll is up to decide what that tournament will be, so don't forget to vote and share it, and we'll be back with more polls very soon!

#best protag tournament #stats breakdown #mod posts

26 notes · View notes

cheshiretears · 1 month ago

Text

[Podfic] slip safe

by LadyAscalon | @ladyasc

Fandom: Stray Kids Rating: T Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know Additional Tags: Coming Out, Friendship, Queerplatonic Relationships, Canon Compliant, Anxiety, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Questioning, Earliest Scene Takes Place in 2018, Non-Linear Narrative, (some elements of:), Future Fic, Literal Sleeping Together, Character Study, Podfic, Audio Format: MP3, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours

Summary: “Oh.”

A single syllable. An exhaled breath. A worried lip. A tense brow. A gaze averted.

“Are you okay?” It feels absurd to be the one asking when his own dignity, even his life as he knows it, is the thing on the line.

“I… Yeah.” Jisung looks back at him, eyes dark and quiet. “Are you?"

Minho and Jisung aren't in love, but that's not what's important.

Full Fic: AO3 (02:32:50 hr | 171.8 MB)

@kpop-podfic

#this is one of my favorite things ever guys seriously say thank you to asc for giving permission to make it a podfic #podfic #kpop podfic #stray kids #skz #스트레이키즈 #my stuff

4 notes · View notes

the-twst-cast-needs-therapy · 4 months ago

Text

I'm binging the Diasomnia chapters. Holy fucking shit-

I am keeping you updated!!!

Spoilers ahead!!!

UPDATES:

-THE HUMMING WITH THE TITLE SRCREEN OMG!!! (18:33, 12.9)

-16YO ORTHO?! OH I'M SO PROUD OF HIM! EVEN IF HE ISN'T REAL (18:33, 12.9)

-Well I'm officially stuck with the "Sus goop" let's hope I can level up high enough. Idk how this will be possible tho. My chances look rather slim (12.9).

-HAHA, I DID IT!! (Barely). Waaaa Ortho is such a clever boy. Also mama and papa Shroud?! So cute!! I love mama Shrouds voice and I love how she immediately sprung into action. (14.9, 12:23)

-i'm sensing that I will see Ortho in his Cerberus gear soon (14.9. 12:30)

-WAAAAA IT'S SO COOL. Also wtf do you mean "password protected folders"

-"You're one of our beloved sons too, Or" WHAT IF I DIED. OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO SWEET. AND THE SHROUDS LOOKING OUT FOR ORTHOS WELLBEING AJDHRHDHHDHDJDJDJDJDJJDHDHDHS

-struggling a bit with sebek. I hope we'll be fine and I can get through this quickly (14.9 12:51)

-HAHA I DID IT. (14.9, 12:57) I also like how all battles with malleus so far have been unwinnable. Anyways I think the next chapter will be Lilia themed!! (55)

-GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT! WAAA THE THEME AS WE ENTERED THE FOREST IS SO PRETTY. (14.9, 13:02)

-Lilia is beating my ass due to my lack of floral characters :( I'm stuck, currently training his son (Mal) to Beat him (15.9. 8:23)

-gave in and payed the damm 10 diamond fee. It's all good because Baur and (general) Lilia face reveal!!! AND SILVER FINALLY SAID THE "F" WORD TO DREAM LILIA (father) (22:45, 15.9)

-A NEW BATTLE MECHANIC?! OH GOD (22:48, 15.9)

-Really loving the Macro aggression of Baur towards his grandson (23:21. 15.9 )

-"HIS EGG LIKE VISAGE" SEBEK, THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!! SHDHDHDHHSJS (23:21; 15.9)

-I'm scared of the new battle mechanic....

-not Lilia usin his own child as BAIT

-why do the iron clads have tanks... (16.9. 21:50)

-LILIA PROTECTING SILVER, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! THE FATHERLY INSTINCT IS KICKING IN!!!! Apparently I ate up all the ENG Version had to offer so far. That means some resting time for me until the next chapters come out. (17.9. 9:01)

-"Even in a dream you're still my-" OH WHAT IF I DIED ON THE SPOT????

-okay I just decided to look at some fan translations to continue, here are my thoughts:

-MELEANOR IS SO FUCKING HOT SHHDHDHDHDJ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (her voice is so stunning)

-Her and Lilia bickering is so funny, my god she is ruthless

-"Dragons can only hatch with the magic and love of their parents and only with true love" OH FUCK OFF I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I DONT LIKE IT

-"I DONT UNDERSTAND THE LOVE KF PARENTS. I HAVE NEVER LOVED SOMEONE EITHER...." oh my god OH MY GODNDHDHDHDGDHHDHSBS

-PROPOSAL?!

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAZEHEHHDHDBSVDHSHHS OH MY GDODJJDHDHDHDBDNDN

Okay but same tho she's very pretty

-wooow silver is related to the knight if dawn who belongs to the SILVER owls. What a shocker.

-I love that the knight of dawn is just silvers facial render with longer hair and some blonde pigment slapped on to it. A for Effort

-Bro (Silver) is about to create a new ocean with the tears he's shedding. MF found out who he was related to and just decided to die on the spot.

-A CRYING BABY IS BABDHHDHDHDHDGSGSGSH BABY SILVER TIME!!!!????

-Omg silver is technically hundreds of years old??? Slay

-LILIA TRIED TO KILL LITTLE SILVER?! Or at least thought about it for a brief second, you know..

-"is it possible for someone like me to love a human?" OH WHEN I GET YOU WRITING TEAM, WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU SZSGEHHDJSHSJSJDJSJ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS GAME?!

-"please don't, father. I don't deserve to be loved by you"

i'm going to fucking explode what the fuck.

-Genuinely shut the fuck up Silver. I know you're going through an identity crisis but you are so worthy of love.

-The fucking acorn necklace. When I tell you I JUMPED FROM MY SEAT!

-"papa please stay healthy and we will stay together forever" SHUT UP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-"with this bracelet i fell like I could live another 1000 years" PLEASE STOP OH MY GOD

-NOT SILVER SEEING HIMSELF AS HIS BIO FATHER AND BEING FORCED TO FIGHT WITH LILIA WHO DOESN'T RECOGNIZE YOU. IM GOING TO HURL

-SILVER STOP TRYING TO DIE OH MY GOD

#ttcnt event review

4 notes · View notes

kariachi · 2 years ago

Text

Okay, for shits and giggles gonna do some quick work with dragonkin size estimates using my recent ‘figuring out a fucking ratio for dragons’ post. For this we’ll be going with the second ratio in that post, as it’s the most consistent with it’s sources while also fitting what we’re told in canon. We’ll also be utilizing the wher ratio from my earlier posts on this topic, as it’s based off the only real numbers we have for them.

Now, the specific ratio we’re using for the dragons is 1:2.4 height:length. Using this ratio the average numbers we get for the various dragon ranks in the 9th pass is-

Greens: Height- 9.3 ft ;Length- 22.5 ft

Blues: Height- 11.4 ft ;Length- 27.5 ft

Browns: Height- 13.5 ft ;Length- 32.5 ft

Bronzes: Height- 15.2 ft ;Length- 36.5 ft

Golds: Height- 16.6 ft ;Length- 40 ft

Now, we continue to go with Todd’s ‘gold whers match brown dragons for size’ assertion, again, because the information we have, but our height:length ratio for the whers is 1:3.25. Since they don’t line up, we have to pick one measurement or the other to square things up with. Rather than just go with one, I’ll be doing an average size per rank based on both, then leaving it to the rest of your which one you want to work with.

If we assume a gold wher is the same height in the shoulder as a brown dragon, the average wher sizes come out to-

Greens: Height- 7.4 ft ;Length- 24.1 ft

Blues: Height- 9.1 ft ;Length- 29.7 ft

Browns: Height- 10.8 ft ;Length- 35.4 ft

Bronzes: Height- 12.2 ft ;Length- 39.8 ft

Golds: Height- 13.5 ft ;Length- 43.8 ft

While if we assume they’re the same length then the sizes come out to-

Greens: Height- 5.5 ft ;Length- 17.9 ft

Blues: Height- 6.8 ft ;Length- 22.1 ft

Browns: Height- 8 ft ;Length- 26.3 ft

Bronzes: Height- 9 ft ;Length- 29.5 ft

Golds: Height- 10 ft ;Length- 32.5 ft

That last one actually gives us an average green size that lines up nearly perfectly with our estimate for Kisk’s adult size. So if nothing else we can assume that this listing fits 3rd Pass whers, but it also means that the length average has whers not having grown any since then. We don’t have enough information on whers to know if they did or not canonically, so really you could go either way depending on what you want to do with them.

Personally I’m going to be running with the height measurement, both because while there’s no wher comparisons over those time periods in the books the DLG tells us the first clutches- which presumably were rankers and browns like the dragons- were the size of small horses, so based on that we can assume they had the ‘grow bitch grow’ genes in there to have reached the 3rd Pass sizes, and because the idea that whers and dragon are of similar sizes straight down the line amuses me.

But, you lot can do whatever you wanna do with this information. The world is your oyster!

#the books aren't great for describing shit #but damnit if you dig and prod and math you can work out something that *works*#we don't have proper canon numbers but these are about as close as a bitch can get with the shit we're given #dragonriders of pern

14 notes · View notes

phail · 4 months ago

Text

So like. I don’t think I’ve even said anything about myself omg. But background, my depression and “eating disorder” started 2009, so when I was around 13 years old, in middle school, 8th grade. I don’t know which one caused the other because I’d never had a problem with my body before then. Like, it was just my body. It was me. But somehow it turned into an enemy that I needed to change, I don’t know. So I don’t know if the “eating disorder” caused the depression or vice versa

But anyways. Been struggling with that for years. I stopped gaining weight at the end of middle school (so at 13 years old/in 2009) because I was restricting my food intake. I averaged the same weight up from 2009 until 2017, so 8 years, most of those years where I was not done growing and should have been gaining weight or that’s what I was told idk. From 2017-2019, I was 10 pounds higher but maintained that as well during those 2 years. Mid 2019, I stopped trying to maintain my weight and restricting my intake to the point of controlling my weight.

So I’ve had a LONG experience with controlling my weight by not eating. It wasn’t even that bad, like I could still function, I never dropped below a BMI of 17 (BMI stands for body mass index) (okay let me go over that because idk if this is common knowledge for people who don’t suffer from this shit)

BMI:

“The BMI is a chart that looks at someone’s height and weight to determine if they are at a healthy weight. The BMI is used to tell doctors approximately how much muscle, fat, and bone someone has.

BMI <17.0: thinness

BMI <18.5: underweight

BMI 18.5-24.9: normal weight

BMI ≥25.0: overweight

BMI ≥30.0: obesity.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: BMI is really for medical purposes only. It isn’t something that is law. It isn’t something that should be lived by. BMI isn’t the only way to measure how healthy you are because there are so many other factors aside from height age and weight that contribute to health. So people say don’t compare your BMI to what the labeled attached to it is. Because that’s really for medical diagnosis purposes.

“The average BMI for American men over age 20 for the year 2015-2016 is now 29.1. The average BMI for American women over age 20 for the year 2015-2016 is now 29.6.” So “normal” bmi does NOT equal average body type.

HOWEVER I WAS VERY MENTALLY ILL SO I LIVED BY MY BMI LOL. Okay, continuing.

BMI and Eating Disorders:

“The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has guidelines for how to diagnose eating disorders. In order for someone to be diagnosed with anorexia, someone has to meet multiple criteria. One of the criteria is based on someone’s BMI.

Depending on BMI, someone is determined to have mild, moderate, severe, or extreme anorexia.

Severity of Anorexia

Mild = Greater than or equal to 17

Moderate = 16-16.99

Severe = 15-15.99

Extreme = Less than 15”

So, just for informational purposes. I was underweight but at my LOWEST I had a BMI of (okay it was NOT 17 just kidding, I typed my weight wrong when calculating my old bmi. It was 16.6 at the absolute lowest oops lol). During the time that I maintained my weight, I ranged between a bmi of 16.6-18.9, but on average ranged between a bmi of 17.9-18.7.

So, for my average BMI, I guess you could see why I didn’t think I was too sick. In terms of normal BMI, I was very low. But in terms of “””eating disorders”””” I wasn’t TOO underweight. I wasn’t “sick enough”.

But from 2017-2019 my bmi ranged form 20.8-22.7. Which was considered normal. I was still controlling what I ate but not as severely (which wasn’t even that severe to begin with, like I ate and everything but I just didn’t eat a normal amount). I was more content and happy mentally so I didn’t put too much focus on controlling my weight.

THEN 2019 HIT AND I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT. Because I was HAPPY and NOT STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION 24/7 so I didn’t control my food intake aka didn’t control my weight. I was just living life and being genuinely happy.

In June 2019, I was a BMI of 21.2 (normal). By mid-october 2019, I was a bmi of 27.6 (overweight). And even though my weight was labeled as “overweight”, in 2015-2016 standards, that was a little less than an average womans BMI (I wonder what the average BMI for people is now?)

So I took my new weight and BMI very poorly. Because I had lived off of controlling my weight and maintaining it in double digits (in pounds) for 8 long years of my life. So to be considered overweight, to start spiraling after hearing that and going back to my bmi app, which used to look like this for 8 years:

to now seeing THIS with the color red, danger color, ALL OVER IT:

Fucked me UP. I was heavier but I was later told that this was my “natural weight” without controlling it 24/7 and that the bmi doesn’t matter, my weight wasn’t “BAD”.

After October 2019 for a year, I had very bad body imagine (due to knowing what my BMI was and being so aware of how different my weight was) but things in general weren’t TOO BAD mentally because I wasn’t actively throwing myself into my “eating disorder”. I was still happy with life and didn’t let it affect me too much.

Idk what happened in October 2020, but I weighed myself and had a BMI of 26.3. Which wasn’t even as high as the last time I’d checked! I don’t know why THAT made me spiral (probably because I was without a job again and so alone and hopeless) but I ended up becoming very suicidal and going back to inpatient hospitalization. During that time, I felt so much hopelessness and despair. I felt like nothing mattered. So I just. Barely ate while I was there. Just didn’t care. A month before I was hospitalized, I was still at the high BMI of 27.4. But during the month before being hospitalized and during my 5 week hospitalization (average inpatient stay is 7-10 days omg, it was the longest I’d ever been hospitalized), so during those 60 days, I had lost over 20 pounds. I lost 8 the month before and 14 pounds during the 5 weeks of being in the hospital. So. NOT GOOD. They referred me to a “residential eating disorder treatment”.

(Residential is like an inpatient hospitalization, but instead of an average stay of a week, it’s a month.)

So, when they told me this is what they’re recommending, I said to myself, “it’d probably be easier to not eat there and “get better” instead of just straight out refusing to eat and having my parents scream at me to eat”. Because before this point, no one knew I had an “eating disorder”. My family didn’t know. But, well, it’d be obvious if I just went home and barely touched any food. Like, in inpatient for those 5 weeks, I’d eat three to five small leafs of lettuce from a salad, no dressing. I did that most of the time. It was not good.

So I said whatever, I’ll go to residential for my “eating disorder”! And it was horrendous. First of all, the staff and my THERAPIST of all people, fucked me over to the point of almost being kicked out by my insurance. She said I was refusing to do certain things when I never refused, I said I’d rather NOT but I’ll do it if I have to. She just never approached those same topics again and behind my back said I had “refused to participate in treatment”. That was the first 2 weeks I was there, where I was still barely eating. I ate more than what I was eating during inpatient, but only because life was hell if I didn’t eat something there. Rights were taken away, you sat at the “beginners” table so to say. Which, honestly that’s fair. I wasn’t trying, so I deserved good things being taken away. But when I heard that my therapist (who was only with me for a week and a half because she quit and took a new job) (gee, I wonder if she even gave a shit about me! Probably not since she thought I was a completely lost cause and useless and a failure) completely fucked me over, because my new therapist told me that insurance was threatening to stop paying, I was ANGRY. like. How DARE this “professional” twist my words to the point of my insurance threatening to stop paying for treatment. How fucking DARE her.

To be fair, I obviously was NOT trying to get better because I didn’t WANT to, but she had no right to say “this patient is refusing to do a. b. and c.” it wasn’t even me refusing to eat or do therapy/groups. I participated in all therapy groups, I went to every meal and ATTEMPTED to eat, just rarely ever ate despite that. No, it wasn’t any of that. It was me “refusing to have a family session” and 3 other bullshit reasons I don’t even remember.

I did not refuse. Like, I’d never HAD an experience with eating disorder treatment before, it was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the other mental health treatment I’ve been through. So I thought the things she asked me to do were optional. She made it sound optional.

WELL APPARENTLY THEY ARE NOT. It is MANDATORY to have a family session (and CONTINUE to have them if the first doesn’t end in flames and destruction) with the people who you live with back at home. It makes sense now, like they’d be the ones seeing if you’re slipping into old habits. But it didn’t make sense to me at the time because family sessions had always been “if you want to, you can have one”. That’s why I said to her I’d rather not. WHICH IS NOT REFUSING. “I’d rather not” is me saying “really? That doesn’t sound necessary or helpful, but okay I guess I will if I have to!” Like, maybe that wasn’t clear from me saying “I’d rather not”, but you are a THERAPIST. You are supposed to DIG DEEP and have me explain my feelings.

Sorry god I’m still so angry.

So because of all the lies my therapist put in my MEDICAL CHART, my EATING DISORDER chart, a PROFESSIONAL made up LIES of my “refusals”, I said FUCK YOU to the whole place and just started eating. It wasn’t because I felt better or recovered, it wasn’t because I wanted to GET better, it was pure spite. “I’ll show you that I can do this” just out of spite. I was so angry.

So, I did start eating (very very hard to do, but I was quite literally forcing myself because I was so angry and wanted to prove a point). And I did end up finishing every single meal after that, with so much mental anguish.

It didn’t help though. Two weeks after that (so four weeks of being at residential), I was discharged. I was supposed to go to an eating disorder PHP but it was during covid so it was all virtual. And I could NOT stay awake on a video call from 8am to 5pm and eat two meals during that time. Like, honestly, I discharged myself from PHP because I have some type of sleep problem. I’m always sleepy. No matter or much or how little I sleep it’s never enough. So to sit from 8am-5pm without getting up to move and get my blood pumping, and just sitting down and listening to others, I got so tired I started to fall asleep. I could barely keep myself awake until 11am hit and we had a “break”. I spoke to someone during that time about me leaving because I just COULDN’T STAY AWAKE.

But it was also perfect because I didn’t WANT to participate in eating disorder treatment. Like, I felt like such a FAKE while at residential. I was one of the heaviest people there, DEFINITELY the heaviest person there that had a restrictive disorder and starved herself.

It’s hard to be in a bad mental place where you hate yourself and your body so much. But it’s even worse when you weigh SO MUCH. so much more than you use to, and nearly EVERYONE in treatment with you is stick thin. I felt like such a fraud. Especially because everyone there WANTED to get better. Or at least wanted to take the steps to try and get better. I DIDNT. I felt like such an asshole taking up a room there. People who WANTED to be here had to wait WEEKS for a room to open up. Yet I was there, FAT AS FUCK AND BIGGER THAN MOSTLY EVERYONE THERE, just being ungrateful.

So yeah, that’s why when I refer to my “eating disorder”, I put it in quotes. When I’m in a good mental space I usually don’t because I do realize I had a problem, but like, when I feel like I do right now, I feel like such a fucking fraud again. Like. It’s doing a disservice to people who actually suffer from eating disorders to call what I’m feeling/doing/going through an “eating disorder”.

I had left residential at a BMI of 24.5 (0.5 away from being in the overweight category again). And to be fair, I did end up doing better than I would have if I hadn’t gone to residential at all. 6 months later I was back to my “natural weight that wasn’t controlled by restricting my food intake” (as they enlightened me on during my treatment. I still don’t know if I believe that.) My BMI ranged around 25.5 through 29.3 at my highest between June 2021 up until July 2023. I was constantly fluctuating between gaining and losing weight during that time. The most I gained/lost during those years in total was 20 pounds (but not all at once, it was spread out because I was on and off trying to regain control of my weight. I’d relapse into the patterns every few months and be fine for a few months.) During that time, my patterns weren’t severe at ALL and they were very rare. So between July 2023 and now, I haven’t actively done anything to aid or engage in my “eating disorder”. Like. A full year of NOTHING. Just being free from thoughts of calories and weight and my body. I of course wasn’t FREE of all of that, but god it hadnt been that easy since BEFORE any of this happened.

Now fast forward to a month ago, I get hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and debilitating depression from being overworked/overwhelmed and just dead tired from my emotionally abusive boyfriend who I took care of despite him being able to care for him and his mental health on his own. During that one week in inpatient, I tried to eat, but I’ve always been a picky eater, even before any type of disordered eating happened. But when I’m in that low of a place with all of that depression and hopelessness, I have to eat foods that I know I like/enjoy because if I don’t, then I won’t want to eat because “what’s the point, I just want to die” and then I would slip into the thoughts of “why eat this if I don’t even like it and barely tolerate it, it’s a waste of calories”. I always make sure I have meals now because those thoughts ALWAYS happen if I get hungry. So, I spoke to the dietician when I was there but they must have read my chart and saw “eating disorder” and thought I was faking it or being a drama queen because I requested to have chicken or pb&j at every meal just so I KNEW I’d have something I wouldn’t struggle to eat so that I could avoid by “eating disorder” acting up while I was there. She said she’d put my dietary restrictions into my chart and also sent down to the kitchen.

I never received any type of dietary changes. I never even had a dietary tag, which everyone does if they talk to the dietician and it’s deemed that there are restrictions to what that person can and can’t eat.

The kitchen would bring up styrofoam containers of that days breakfast/lunch/dinner for all the patients. The meal was the same for everyone. UNLESS you had a container that had your name on it and the dietary tag attached.

People had dietary tags with their name on it, I didn’t. It probably wouldn’t have mattered anyways because the kitchen was awful and they basically slapped a tag on top of the container and didn’t change anything inside anyways. But it was just so invalidating because. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. They know this. This is the SAME INPATIENT that I was at when I didn’t eat and ended up going to residential because they RECOMMENDED i go. Out of any inpatient I’ve ever been to, THEY KNOW. They know how bad it’s been in the past.

But nah. So. I barely ate while I was there and rejoiced when the meal was something I could actually keep down. Because I wasn’t starting to relapsing during this time and I didn’t want to. I wanted to avoid it. I was still fine on terms of the eating disorder front. But it fucked me up not being able to eat things I felt like I could without wanting to go back to starving. I couldn’t just go out and get a meal for myself, I was under lock and key until discharge. I couldn’t do anything for myself, I was under THEIR care. So having that hungry feeling in my stomach during a very bad time of my mental health and depression, it made the eating disorder thoughts start up again. Luckily I got out before anything bad really started up. I don’t know if that’s contributing to how I’m feeling now. Maybe it’s coincidence. Because I was in inpatient 3 weeks ago, left 2 weeks ago. I’ve been fine since. Up until last night.

That’s all I typed so I’ll send this to you now.

#posted privately

0 notes

fullmusicbardsquared · 5 months ago

Text

okay yay thank you ^_^ sorry to the 17.9% crowd

#talking in my head

14 notes · View notes

originalistideas · 3 years ago

Text

You know why Pfizer is asking for more shots? Because the Dr.’s giving are not seeing the desired effect! Of course, instead of admitting it does not work they must promote more of the same. The true definition of insanity (expecting the result to change) either it works and is effective or it’s not.

BIG PICTURE THOUGH ($$$$$$$)

Trump claims COVID booster shots are a 'money-making operation' for Pfizer and he can 'see the dollar signs' in CEO Albert Bourla's eyes

By Morgan Phillips, Politics Reporter For Dailymail.Com • August 18, 2021

'If you're a pure businessman you'll say, "You know what, let's give them another shot, $10 billion of money coming in,"' Trump told Fox Business' Maria Bartiromo

Trump, who got the jab in January, said he could 'see the dollar signs in their eyes,' calling out the CEO of Pfizer

The Biden administration is expected to recommend booster shots for Pfizer and Moderna this week

Last week the FDA gave emergency approval to boosters for the immunocompromised

Former President Trump on Wednesday expressed skepticism of Covid booster shots, saying a third dose of vaccine 'sounds like a money-making operation.'

'You know what, that sounds to me like a money-making operation for Pfizer, okay, think of the money involved. That's tens of billions of dollars,' Trump told Fox Business' Maria Bartiromo.

'If you're a pure businessman you'll say, "You know what, let's give them another shot, $10 billion of money coming in," the whole thing is crazy.'

The former president, who unceremoniously received his Covid-19 vaccine in January, continued: 'When these first came out they were good for life. Now they're only good for a year or two. And I could see the writing on the wall.'

'I could see the dollar signs in their eyes— of that guy that runs Pfizer. You know, the guy that announced the day after election that he had the vaccine. But we knew that, and I knew that, and the people knew that.'

Pfizer submitted its request for emergency use authorization on Nov. 20.

Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla was paid over $21 million in 2020. He made $17.9 million from his job with the drug giant in 2019, the year before the pandemic.

38 notes · View notes

imperialkatwala · 2 years ago

Text

After a longer waiting period than originally intended, here are the results of the Rating Bunflower’s c!Phils survey! There was a total of 72 responses, though not everyone answered every question.

This is a Long Boy

Most diseases: Autoclave Phil

When asked “How many diseases does he have,” Autoclave Phil was given 43 votes (78.2%) for “All of them.” As he deserves.

Fewest diseases: Aperture Phil

When asked “How many diseases does he have,” Aperture Phil was given 25 votes (43.9%) for “None,” and zero votes for “All of them,” a surprising result! I guess the only illnesses this version of Phil has are mental.

Most scrunkly: Autoclave Phil

When asked “Is he scrunkly,” Autoclave Phil was given 48 votes (85.7%) for “Yes.” He was also one of three Phils who had the smallest amount of write-in answers for this question (only two), saying “he’s rather goated” and “he’s a rat.” The other two versions with two write-ins were Birdman Phil and Love Languages Phil.

(A close runner-up for this question was Bones Phil, with 55 votes (84.6%) for “Yes.” The funniest write-in answer for him was “No, but he’s pretty unhinged sometimes.”)

Least scrunkly: Aperture Phil

When asked “Is he scrunkly,” Aperture Phil was given 33 votes (55.9%) for “No.” He also had the most write-in answers for this question (seven), the funniest being “Yes so crubkles i love him can he be my dad please”

(A close runner-up for this question was Limelight Phil, with 32 votes (57.1%) for “No.” The funniest write-in answer for him was “No hes bendy”)

Most pathetic: Autoclave Phil

When asked “Do you think he’s pathetic (fond)?” Autoclave Phil was given 39 votes (70.9%) for “Yes.” He also caused the most confusion, with the highest number of votes (11, or 20%) for “I don’t know.”

Least pathetic: Aperture Phil

I’m seeing a trend.

When asked “Do you think he’s pathetic (fond)?” Aperture Phil was given 36 votes (62.1%) for “No.”

Most in need of a hug: IWHIA Phil

This poor man. When asked “Does he need a hug,” IWHIA Phil was given 51 votes (76.1%) for “Yes, and I would absolutely give him one.” Combined with the 14 votes (20.9%) for “Yes, but I would not give him one,” 65 people (97%) agree he needs a hug. Two people (the remaining 3%) said “I don’t know,” meaning not a single person thinks this man does not need a hug.

(The runner-ups: Limelight Phil received 34 votes (57.6%) for “Yes, and I would absolutely give him one,” and 14 votes (23.7%) for “Yes, but I would not give him one,” for a total of 48 people (81.3%) agreeing he needs a hug.

Nocturne Phil received 25 votes (64.1%) for “Yes, and I would absolutely give him one,” and 7 (17.9%) for “Yes, but I would not give him one,” for a total of 32 people (82%) agreeing he needs a hug.)

Least in need of a hug: Love Languages Phil

When asked “Does he need a hug,” Love Languages Phil was given 20 votes (39.2%) for “No, but I would give him one anyway,” and 1 vote (2%) for “No, and I would not give him one,” for a total of 21 people (41.2%) thinking he doesn’t need a hug.

Most confusing about hug status: Birdman Phil

I watched this result unfold with great interest, because all five answers were nearly perfectly balanced. It’s amazing. This is the most diverse response to any question on the entire survey, by a long shot. Look at this:

For reference, there were 42 responses to this question, so each vote is roughly equivalent to 2.3%. The 21.4% questions each had nine votes.

Specific notes for each Phil (My favorite write-ins)

IWHIA Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“A roach /pos”

“Picture the saddest f***ing rat you can and then break its legs. that’s him”

“Hamster bc they always die and always in really hilarious/traumatizing ways”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“He has been through so much. I want him to go through more”

“Want to put him in pocket”

“Patpat, he’s not gonna be okay, but that’s okay”

“He’s literally so pathetic, I want to eat him /pos”

Autoclave Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

[Almost unanimous decision that he is a rat]

“seven foot frame rats along his rats when he calls your rats it all fades to rats yeah he sees your rats and feasts on your rats, hey, we dont talk about philza minecraft no-”

“he is also a rat but this is one that lives in a sewer. stinky. stinky bird rat boy haha. he is a rat in my sewer and he eats the bread roll that the four year old down the street flushed down the toilet so their mother would not know they ate it.”

“hairless rat. wrinkly and crawls thru the sewers. also greasy tho”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“THIS IS MY SON HE HAS EVERY MENTAL ILLNESS”

“*sung to tune of ocean man* garbage man, take me by the hand lead me to the land.”

“I'd like to poke him with a stick”

Bones Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“A drowned crow screaming as someone tries to dry him off with a blowdryer even though its somewhat enjoyable of an experience purely for the principle of the thing.”

“Crow. All shiny stuff is his and there is absolutely nothing that is strong enough to keep him from causing trouble.”

“He’s like a really wiggly white ferret”

“He's like a feral seagull. I feel like he would land on your head and just f*** up your hair”

“one of those ducks from the Dawn commercials. they get him all cleaned up from the oil spill then release him into the wild”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“give this man a hug but also be careful mans probably has at least two undiscovered diseases”

“I think he has rabies and might bite me”

“hes honestly the best bun phil and i take no criticism because i am right /j”

“Want to grab him and give him a good shake. Put in blender”

Aperture Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“Idk but it def has anxiety”

“Husky. Friendsly and big and dad and huggable and swears much. Huskies would swear”

“a cat, but a more affectionate cat. he loves you but you still can't leave any cups out because he must knock them over. he loves you but that chaos cannot be denied”

“Cat but of the little guy variety”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“he’s stinky fluff man”

“He needs to go back to theraphy. And give me one of those comfy hoodies. 10/10 husband and soulmate tho”

“he’s a dad! boogie woogie woogie!”

“Man deserves all the love he has. Needs more soft blankets and shiny bits and more hugs yesyes”

Limelight Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“a chicken with its head cut off”

“that one bird that doesn't shut the f*** up”

“f***ing peacock. show off actor.e at the rich. not him tho. limelight phil can stay.”

“He's just a sad little bird because he failed to notice his best friend was a clone and not the actual one for goddamn ages”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“He has issues. That’s showbiz baby!”

“i think he deserves to punch bun in the face”

“If I bounced him he would make a bouncy ball noise”

“He needs a break. And a role in an action film, he could kick The Rock's ass to next sunday.”

“got taken out by a bunny couldn’t even predator a rabbit loser”

Love Languages Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“Pigeon bc littol dumbf*** cutest clingy boi”

“Dove. Absolutely adorable and very fluffy. Makes me cry with how much he loves.”

“like those little ants who notice their sisters struggling and go to help carry more weight”

“stupid lil. lil rat bird. rat rat.”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“Want to tuck him into bed and give him a little pat”

“the happiest bun will ever allow him to be”

“Precious lad who needs all the hugs and shiny things. Deserves the world.”

Birdman Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“you'd think i'd say a bird but no he's actually a f***ing menace”

“A really bitey rabbit”

“Goose >:]”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“Being a single father is hard. Being a good mentor, vigilante, best friend AND a father is ridicilously hard. Yet, he is somehow managing.”

“Eat the rich”

“I Am Scared Of Him /lh”

“confused rat dad”

Nocturne Phil:

Please describe him as an animal:

“That feeling when a chiuaua stares at you unblinking and u dont know wether it wikl murder you or come demanding pets”

“He's a falcon that gets hooded every f***in day and only gets it taken off when he has to go kick some ass or some s***, he's a birb that is meant to free to hunt and s*** but he's actually just being forced to sit in a cage and look pretty until he's actually needed”

“poor mistreated german shepard”

“He's a lost dog :(”

Any thoughts about this Phil in particular?:

“if found return to Technoblade immediately”

“i hope he kills all the bunnies he finds <3″

“Dream gives him his shots, no diseases”

“I require the ability to punt Dream into the f***ing sun and then give this Phil a f***ing hug”

#not gonna maintag this but ye #bun i hope you enjoy this #kat things #i had so much fun with this silly little survey

5 notes · View notes

dex-xe · 4 years ago

Text

Final Results of Ghosts Survey

Okay so, there was exactly 100 responses which I think is pretty mad so here are the results. I’m gonna give the TL;DR here and then give a FULLLL rundown and some of my opinions below the keep reading so yeh!!

TL;DR

Favourite Ghost (Round 1): The Captain with 50.0% of the vote Favourite Ghost (Round 2): Kitty/Thomas drew with 16.0% of the vote each (although it was veryyyyy close with a few others too) Favourite Ghost (Weighted Total): The Captain with 37.0% (weighted voting explained below) Second Favourite Ghost (Weighted Total): Pat with 12.0%

Favourite Episode (Round 1): Redding Weddy with 27.3% of the vote Favourite Episode (Round 2): Perfect Day with 19.4% of the vote Favourite Episode (Weighted Total): Redding Weddy with 22.3% of the vote Second Favourite Episode (Weighted Total): Perfect Day with 17.9%

Where from here then, boys?? The big fuck-off stats are gonna be down below but the whole “explain why you like this character/episode” I have other ideas for!! Basically, I’m gonna try and make a game where I put some of the responses and you gotta guess which character/episode its talking about. Which I think will be fun but let me know what ya think!! Also,, if you guys have things to say then let me know, what are your thoughts on the results fellas?? Inbox is there if you want it, replies are also there. Lets chat!!

Hiya everyone,, so if you’re here I’m assuming you’re interested in the stats!!

Weighted Voting

Firstly I should explain my methods. What do I mean by weighted voting for example? Basically, first round “favourite ghost/episode” votes count as 2 weighted votes, second round “second favourite” votes count as only 1. The weighted votes are then added together to make a final weighted score for each ghost/episode that is reflective of their status as favourite and second favourite. And if you’ve read that and are now thinking that I’m taking a silly sitcom about a haunted house too seriously by creating data and maths surrounding it, you are absolutely correct and I am not ashamed. Also you clicked to read the stats so you’re just as bad :P

Now we’ve established that we can chat about some results!!

First Round Ghost Voting (Unweighted)

While I predicted that the Captain would be the favourite I am genuinely shocked?? 50% is massive?? There were moments when I was watching the results come in and he hit 75% but thankfully it’s gone back down to 50% now because I’m shocked by that, let alone higher!! The written responses for the Captain fell into three very distinct camps: 1) I’m gay, 2) long paragraph about character development, 3) Ben Willbond hot lol. So that was fun to see XD Pat was second choice as favourite which I think is cool (he did well overall but didn’t win either). Fanny got a grand total of 0 votes this round which is genuinely very upsetting to me, Fanny appreciation 2k21!! The only other one that surprised me was Julian: thought he’d be slightly higher.

Second Round Ghost Voting (Unweighted)

A fun draw between Kitty and Thomas which I’m very happy about,, was worried Kitty wouldn’t get the appreciation she deserves but here we are!! Robin, Mary, and Pat were all also very close here which is nice too. 2 votes for Fanny is still upsetting but slightly better.

Weighted Ghost Voting

Weighted voting is the most accurate representation of results so the Captain is by far the favourite and Pat is actually the second, very closely followed by Thomas and Mary. My spreadsheet to figure out the weighted vote is mad, I’m such a nerd. Maybe I actually do miss studying maths,, I forgot how much I love stuff like this!!

First Round Episode Voting (Unweighted)

Again, my prediction of Redding Weddy being the favourite was correct but it was closer than I thought it would be. Perfect Day and Thomas Thorne Affair both did well too. I am surprised that Grey Lady and About Last Night didn’t get more appreciation: I feel like they probably get looked over because the final four episodes of series 2 are like fan favourites and really incredible but both strong episodes in their own right.

Second Round Episode Voting (Unweighted)

Prediction was correct again but this was wayyyyyy closer than I thought. First place was an easy win for Perfect Day but then Moonah Ston, Redding Weddy, Thomas Thorne Affair, and Ghost of Christmas were all super close. Also Moonah Ston is by far the series 1 favourite which I think is fair. Also more appreciation for About Last Night here.

Weighted Episode Voting

Nothing here that I haven’t really said so I’m just gonna let you enjoy the gorgeous data!! Series 2 was overall more popular than series 1 which I think bodes really well for series 3!! fyi the predictions I put down at the start were Cap as the favourite ghost and Redding Weddy as the favourite episode so surprise I was correct all round XD Big round of applause for me everyone,, jkjkjk XD

So there we go, those are the stats!! I’ll hopefully be back soon with the game I described at the top but idk how to do it atm so I’m gonna look into some options for it. Maybe another Google Form would work but let me know if you have any better ideas. If you wanna chat about stuff let me knowww,, or if I haven’t explained something well I’ll try again.

#bbc ghosts #oh god this was so fun #im just a massive nerd #so yeh #enjoy if this is your kinda thing!!

29 notes · View notes

milfweirdal · 1 year ago

Text

Wait I'm going to elaborate more on this actually. Disintegration is about mourning the loss of your childhood and adolescent naivety. It's about wanting that depth of feeling back, the lightness of soaring joy and excitement of new experiences, but also the intense yearning and unbearable heartbreak, maybe especially the yearning and heartbreak, because at least you'd actually be feeling something, which would be better than the numbness, heaviness, and paralysing dread you feel now.

Of course you can still hold joy and whimsy and intensity in your heart and live it every day when you are older than 17.9 (I'm proof of this) but it's important context that Robert Smith was also severely depressed when he wrote this album. wish I could go back in time and tell him that it'll be okay, he's not getting old yet. he'll find joy again, he just needs to give it time. and to lay off the damn booze

when I was a 15yo curefan I really thought Disintegration (1989, Fiction Records) was a quintessential teen angst album but I've changed my mind now. It's only a teen angst album if you're listening to it while an angsty teenager. It's comforting enough to envelop all forms of angst a listener has. However. Robert Smith wrote this album aged 29 staring the beginning of his 30s in the eye thinking his life was over and as a 28yo I feel that so hard now wth. It's undeniable late 20s angst

#cureposting

12 notes · View notes

fanficmemes · 4 years ago

Text

Okay here’s the results of the omegaverse quiz!!!

This was actually p interesting to me, I had no idea I had so many female followers!!! (Or at least picked female for the quiz v cool) So for primary gender we have: 51.5% female, 10.3% male, 11.8% nonbinary, 8.8% genderfluid (hey that’s me!!), 11.8% not sure but it’s something; can’t get the percentages for the smallest ones, but agender had 2 responses, and genderqueer and trans masc enby had one response each.

Damn y’all do NOT wanna be alphas huh djdnsjsnskak XD so for secondary gender we have: 48.5% beta, 35.3% omega, 16.2% alpha.

So for what secondary gender you’re gonna date we have: 31.3% chose alpha (y’all r a bunch of bottoms huh) 22.4% beta, 13.4% omega, 6.3% genderfluid, and one response each for the last few. (I’m ace luv, they all sound fine, dating? No thanks maybe qpr maybe tho, whatever has a vagina man, and I’m aroace)

Okay we’re transing your second gender. (I should’ve put a no thank u option now that I think about it) 9% omega to alpha, 13.4% omega to beta, 6% alpha to omega, 2.3% alpha to beta, 16.4% beta to alpha, 20.9% beta to omega, 8% secondary genderfluid, 17.9% non-binary but for a/b/o, and one vote for each of the last four choices. (No, no thanks, no thank you, and I have to be trans in real life can we not do this please)

And lastly the part where I got lovingly bullied!! It’s not important so here’s the screenshots ❤️❤️❤️

#omegaverse results #okay yeah I could’ve made a uquiz but look at these handy dandy charts #if I’m ever doing this again I’ll spend more time putting better options #but to be fair #I did this in ten mins #before I drive home after work

25 notes · View notes

abba-enthusiast · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 7.737 times in 2021

409 posts created (5%)

7328 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 17.9 posts.

I added 1.428 tags in 2021

#hs - 316 posts

#lt - 299 posts

#1d - 205 posts

#eurovision - 162 posts

#esc - 115 posts

#german stuff - 82 posts

#esc 21 - 65 posts

#spn - 65 posts

#abba - 62 posts

#tatort saarbrücken - 57 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#shdhdjdj okay but why is everyone always so keen on ‘proving’ that ovid’s version of a myth isn’t the ’’’’’’real’’’’’’ version like.

My Top Posts in 2021

Buying 200g of gebrannte Mandeln be like:

1438 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 16:57:39 GMT

I don’t think you guys realise how much it takes for a swiss sports commentator to show this much emotion

1601 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 12:33:22 GMT

Wake up babe, new meme format just dropped

5214 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 04:25:43 GMT

Switzerland legalised gay marriage y’all <3

5603 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 12:16:03 GMT

i’m curious which river is “the river” for you guys? for me it’s the rhine

20847 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 09:10:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#the day we beat france my beloved always in my heart <3 #but i genuinely hate that two of my top posts are about football lmaoo #also this is already outdated cause for some reason my damn riverdale post got notes lmao

6 notes · View notes

sleepeanut · 3 years ago

Text

WANITA KITA: THE SOCIOPOLITICAL MOVEMENTS DEFINING MALAYSIAN WOMEN TODAY

WOMEN OF MALAYSIA

In the era of #MeToo, Malaysian women are underrepresented (only 14.4% of parliamentary seats are held by women), underpaid (earning RM 93.90 for every RM100 a man makes, excluding unpaid domestic work) and underprotected (only 75% of legal frameworks that promote, enforce and monitor gender equality, with a focus on violence against women, are in place) (2,3). With this in mind, let’s take a look at a few of Malaysia’s own female empowerment movements, often sidelined in favour of sensationalist topics that gain social media traction for a week top and fizzle out into obscurity.

FAMILY FRONTIERS AND THE FIGHT FOR EQUAL CITIZENSHIP

(Not so) fun fact of the day: individuals born abroad to a Malaysian father are automatically granted Malaysian citizenship; the same cannot be said about those born to Malaysian mothers. Acknowledging this issue, the Association of Family Support & Welfare Selangor & KL (popularly referred to as Family Frontiers) - acting as the umbrella body for the Foreign Spouses Support Group (FSSG) - is leading the fight for equal citizenship. The organization recommends that (a) the Equality Act be passed and implemented, (b) the Government enacts administrative changes to be implemented as a temporary measure to streamline the application process of Article 15(2) and (c) an amendment to Article 14 to be enacted.

Family Frontiers did file a constitutional challenge with the KL High Court on the 18th December 2020 (5) and won the case for equal citizenship on the 9th September 2021! Unfortunately, the Malaysian government filed an appeal against the decision. The issue is still ongoing but adding fuel to the fire was our Home Minister’s statement on the 11th September 2021. During an RTM TV1 episode of “Inklusif”, YB Dato’ Seri Hamzah bin Zainudin used less than favourable language when (arguably, ignorantly) speaking about the gender-unequal citizenship laws (6). You can follow Family Frontiers on their Instagram page @familyfrontiersmy or their Linktree (linktr.ee/FamilyFrontiers) (7).

111 INITIATIVE AND THE FIGHT FOR EQUAL POLITICAL REPRESENTATION

Another great Malaysian feminist movement is The 111 Initiative (powered by Undi 18), which was formed with the explicit goal of ensuring that there is 50% female representation in the Dewan Rakyat (8). With Malaysian women only holding 14.4% of parliamentary seats and 17.9% of ministerial positions (2), they are further challenged by the assumption that leadership roles are masculine, women participation in domestic labour and the harassment, backlash and violence female politicians experience (10).

In light of their mission, The 111 Initiative has definitely done a lot (okay, that is definitely a gross understatement).

Hosted multiple webinars and released multiple infographics on their social media (IG: @111initiative).

Condemned the online sexual harassment of female politicians (11) in their first media statement.

Criticized the delay in the enactment of the Anti Sexual Harassment Bill (12)

Sembang 111, which features interviews with women politicians that highlight their views on how Malaysian politics can and should address issues concerning women and other marginalised groups in Malaysia, and,

Srikandi, a three-month series of online capacity-building workshops, targeting young women of 18 to 35 and “empowering them in the art of community leadership” (13).

AWAM & MALAYSIA’S ANTI-SEXUAL HARASSMENT BILL

Established in 1895, AWAM (All Women ‘s Action Society) is an independent feminist non-profit organization with a special emphasis on assisting victims and survivors of gender-based violence (GBV) such as rape, domestic violence and sexual harassment (14). AWAM’s work includes:

Public education and outreach,

Feminis Buatan Malaysia (15),

The MaybankHearts Campaign (16),

The #MerdekaUntukMereka Campaign (17),

Provides free counselling services and legal information to all people in crisis irrespective of gender,

Strategic partnerships with other organisations to advocate for actual policy changes,

Tabung Telenita as a source of funding for women who could not afford administrative fees required for court cases involving domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape (Pssst...you can support them here: https://www.simplygiving.com/tabung-telenita-campaign-page).

AWAM has been working with multiple NGOs through the coalition Joint Action Group for Gender Equality (JAG) to draft and propose a Sexual Harassment Bill for over 20 years. This bill, when passed, “would extend the definition of Sexual Harassment to encompass all public and private spaces while making the legal process less tedious. It will also provide more accessibility, protection and privacy for survivors as well as equipping people to look at Sexual Harassment cases from the perspective of survivors to better handle their cases”. AWAM has encouraged citizen participation in the cause, by empowering the public to write to their Members of Parliament (MP) to push for the Bill. They have a sample of a petition letter in English and Malay. They have also included a List of MPs, just in case you didn’t know who represents you (all available on their website: https://www.awam.org.my/sexual-harassment-bill-campaign/).

WORDS FROM THE AUTHOR

Virality generates exposure. Unfortunately, social issues, like sexism and gender-based violence, do not end just because we’ve stopped talking about them. Here, I chose to highlight female-centric movements in Malaysia because at the end of the day, I am a woman. Sexual harassment, under-representation and sexual discriminate laws, these are issues which define my female Malaysian experience. I do not want these to define the realities of my future daughters.

REFERENCES

https://www.dosm.gov.my/v1/index.php?r=column/cthemeByCat&cat=444&bul_id=QlliTUxPQnhrR2tVa2kyOFpkWmhaZz09&menu_id=L0pheU43NWJwRWVSZklWdzQ4TlhUUT09

ISSUE BRIEF (ADVANCING GENDER EQUALITY IN MALAYSIA): https://www.my.undp.org/content/malaysia/en/home/library/womens_empowerment/issue-brief--advancing-gender-equality-in-malaysia.html

UN WOMEN (WOMEN COUNT IN MALAYSIA): https://data.unwomen.org/country/malaysia

The Association of Family Support & Welfare Selangor & KL (Family Frontiers): https://www.instagram.com/p/CI7R5fInF8o/

Press Release : Family Frontiers Files Constitutional Challenge for Equal Citizenship: https://www.instagram.com/p/CI7n4fxH5Kt/

Malaysian Mothers Despair Over Home Minister’s Statement: https://www.instagram.com/p/CU7Uv_tJNt7/

Family Frontiers: https://www.instagram.com/familyfrontiersmy/

What is 111 Initiative?: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBDQ1IVJvlx/

Speaker asks Abdul Azeez to apologise for using offensive words 'gelap', 'bedak': https://www.astroawani.com/berita-malaysia/speaker-asks-abdul-azeez-apologise-using-offensive-words-gelap-bedak-251129

What are the general barriers for women to enter politics?: https://www.instagram.com/p/CEmDqU6JAoj/

Media Statement - The 111 Initiative: https://www.instagram.com/p/CArnlFYJO8o/

The Sexual Harassment Bill: What’s Taking So Long?: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIAZxZNpn65/

Opening of Srikandi Programme: https://www.instagram.com/p/CSx82ocpHRk/

Get to Know Us - AWAM: https://www.awam.org.my/get-to-know-awam/

Feminis Buatan Malaysia: https://www.awam.org.my/fbm/

Maybank Hearts Campaign: https://www.awam.org.my/2020/08/24/maybank-hearts-campaign/

#MerdekaUntukMereka Campaign: https://www.awam.org.my/2020/08/21/merdekauntukmereka-campaign/

AWAM Programs: https://www.awam.org.my/programs/

Sexual Harassment Bill Campaign: https://www.awam.org.my/sexual-harassment-bill-campaign/

MPs: Table Bill fast to curb sexual harassment: https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2021/09/21/mps-table-bill-fast-to-curb-sexual-harassment

1 note · View note

shaydixons · 6 years ago

Text

skam remakes survey results!

in total i have 248 responses! there were only a few i had to delete (like people who only watched one remake and then voted for that one remake as their favorite- kind of not the point of the poll. stuff like that)

below is a rundown of the results!!!

part 1: demographics

the vast majority were 19-24 (48.6%) or 15-18 (39.2%) and just 8.2% aged 25 and above, and 4.1% under 15.

vast majority were female, 9.4% nonbinary, and 4.5% male.

most people who took the poll were bi/pan (53.7%), with a lot of lesbians also (29.5%), some questioning (4.9%), some gay (3.7%) and a few straight people (3.7%). also some asexual people, which, whoops i forgot to put that as an option but there were only a few.

part 2: viewership

the most viewed among people who took the poll: skamfr season 3, skam austin season 1, druck season 1, skamfr season 1, skamnl season 1, and skam spain season 1.

the least viewed was wtfock season 1.

for future seasons people are going to watch: the most common answer was skam spain season 2! followed by druck season 3, skam france season 4, and skam austin season 2. only 21% of people plan to watch skam italia season 3.

part 3: opinions

the most popular eva was isa!!! by a LOT!!!! followed by emma (23%), megan (12.3%), Hanna (9.1%), Eva (Spain) (8.2%), and Eva (Italia) (4.9%). no one chose jana.

the least popular eva is italian eva with 25.8%, followed by megan with 24.5%, then Hanna, then Jana, then Emma, then Eva (Spain), and a very small amount (2 people) chose Isa as their least favorite. (the other tiny slivers are all people saying they can’t choose!)

the most popular jonas is yann with 38.3%!!!! followed by gio (19.3%), jorge (16.9%), Jonas Druck (15.6%), then Kes (9.1%), and 2 people (0.8%) for Marlon. No one for Jens.

by FAR the least popular jonas is marlon! also very unpopular is Jonas Druck with 21%, and Gio with 8%. the other ones are pretty marginal but yann had 12 votes, kes had 9 votes, jens had 5 and jorge had 3.

shay is the most popular isak by a LOT (47.5%)!!!! also popular are lucas france (20.9%) and Matteo (16.8%). followed by lucas spain (8.2%), Lucas Netherlands (3.3%) and Martino (2.9%). just one vote for Robbe (WTFock).

by far the least popular isak is martino (62.9%)!!!! followed by robbe with 11.4%, then lucas france with 8.3%, then Lucas Netherlands with 7%. Just 5 votes for Lucas Spain and no votes for Shay!

the most popular noora is liv (37.9%), followed by manon (28.3%), then mia (17.9%), then Nora (10.4%), then Eleonora and Grace (2.5% each), then Zoë with one vote (0.4%).

the least popular noora is grace with 47.2%, then Eleonora with 23.8%, then Mia with 13.4%, then Zoë with 8.2%, then Manon with 5.2%, then Nora with 2.2%. No votes for Liv!

the most popular sana is amira druck (42.3%), then Zoya (22.8%), then Imane (20.3%), then Amira Spain (8.7%), then Imaan (5%), and one vote each for white sana and Yasmina (WTFock).

i think this is the most unanimous out of all the questions!!! daphné won by FAR with nearly 3/4 of votes (73.7%)!!!! after daphné is engel (11.5%), then Kiki (5.8%), and Kelsey (4.5%), Viri (3.3%), and finally Silvia with only 1.2%.

the least popular vilde is kiki (33.6%), then Kelsey (22.7%), Silvia (17.5%), Viri (14%), Engel (7.4%), Amber (3.9%), and Daphné had just 2 votes (0.9%)

the most popular chris is jo (35%), then alexia (27.6%), then Cris (21%), then Sam (9.1%), then Janna (6.6%), and just 2 votes (0.8%) for Fede.

fede is the least popular by more than half!!! followed by janna (15.1%), luca (12.4%), Sam (6.4%), Jo (4.6%), Cris (2.8%), and Alexia (1.8%).

the remake people thought was objectively the best: Skam Spain is the most popular with 27.3%, followed closely by Skam Netherlands with 24.8%, then Skam France (17.6%), and Druck (17.2%). 8% for Skam Austin and only 1.7% for Skam Italia. No votes for WTFock.

honestly probably most people chose the same for these two questions, but anyway the results are slightly different. skam france is the most popular (25.9%), then skam spain (19.7%), then skam netherlands (18.8%), then Druck (15.9%), then Austin (15.5%), and Italia (4.2%). no votes for wtfock.

okay so the most popular answer to this one by far was shay!!!!!! other popular answers were eliott, matteo, cris, isa, jo, emma, and lucas (france).

best soundtrack: most popular answer was skam netherlands (35.5%), followed closely by druck (32.5%). then skam france (13.9%), then austin (7.4%), then spain (6.1%), then italia (0.9%). no votes for wtfock.

the most popular answer was skam netherlands (37.8%)! followed by skam france (22.6%), then italia (18.3%), then druck (10.4%), then austin (6.5%), then spain (2.2%). no votes for wtfock.

skam netherlands won again with 37.6%! followed by druck (17.3%), france (15.9%), austin (14.2%), spain (8.4%), and italia (4%). no votes for wtfock.

part 4: long answers

Question 1: Do you think any of the remakes have outdone the original in any way? If so, which, and why?

okay so there were a few people who said something along the lines of “nothing will ever beat the original” but other than that: people said the remakes with more poc + wlw rep, and specifically mentioned skam spain, skam austin and skam netherlands a lot. here are a selection of the responses:

Austin for making Shay their 'Isak'. España for giving the second season for lesbian (?) Cris instead of Noorhell. France in the social media department, especially ig stories.

Spain; it is so kind & loving to its characters, which i think means a lot in a show that is supposed to be about LOVE

I really like the way skam españa handled Lucas coming out! It was very different from the original and shows that you can come out without having had to find a boyfriend! And they’re showing their (now openly) gay character recognising that gay culture exists and actively takes part of it! I’m over all impressed by skam españa. The way they handled Eva’s insecurity without actually having had Jorge hide anything bad from her. Them deciding to break up for their own best (and me thinking that after growing as their own person they will find their way back to each other). I really liked that they didn’t have break up-sex, I never liked that part in OG or any of the remakes.

I think Skam España was better than the og in terms of narrative tightness (although let's be real every s1 has been well done and narratively tight just because they're based on such a great season)-- making Eva actively choose to hang out with Jorge over the girl squad during the long weekend, having the central conflicts actually centered on her female friendships by having Viri betray her instead of Lucas, having the season that explores gay themes be centered around a girl in the girl squad rather than an abrupt change to a boy (girls can be gay! who would've thunk!). Also Skam Netherlands made Isa a much more active participant in her story earlier on than other remakes... not entirely sure this is better done but it is a refreshing new characterization of her that I liked! Also their soundtrack is better done, maybe. Also Druck has definitely outdone the og in terms of hating wlw their powerful misogynistic minds (':

skam austin is so much more hilarious than the og like its comedy is sheer gold

France in terms of cinematography and I feel also like they want to develop the characters more, Spain because they will focus on more things other than noorhell :)

Question 2: What has impressed you about each of the remakes? What has failed to impress you?

So this one was pretty mixed, but the most popular answer was definitely more diverse casting + inclusion of wlw and a bunch of people mentioned david as well. a lot of people said that skam italia failed to impress them because of whitewashing. a lot of people said that none of the remakes have succeeded in making noorhelm palatable, though many also said that winterberg was an improvement from noorhelm. people really liked the remakes that have mixed things up in terms of plot. a lot of people mentioned that girl chris is much improved in the remakes because she didn’t have very much character/story in the original. a few people mentioned not liking skam france because it’s unrealistic / too dramatic. here are some responses:

Impressed me: The new interpretations of the characters in ways that are familiar, yet makes them unique. Cool new insights into the cultures of different countries. Ways they've been able to increasingly diversify the original cast of the show. Making characters in the girl squad explicitly not straight. Giving the girl squad greater roles in their show. Unimpressed: erasing important parts of characters' identities from the original (i.e., making Chris characters skinny, whitewashing nonwhite characters). Unexcused misogyny and racism. The fact that no Skams except for Skam Austin and Skam France and Maybe Skamesp have been able to really grasp what makes Vilde a likable character. The decreased importance of Sana's role in season 1 in some remakes.

druck - failed to impress - s1 is so boring and if s2 was a person they'd probably send me to a conversion camp

france was impressive for stepping up from -4 to 100 in just one season and unimpressive is every time they make a new vagnus despite it being really irrelevant even in the og :( and when they keep the whole “are you sure your not a lesbian” @ noora in every remake bc it serves no purpose it was gross in the og but even grosser in the remakes bc they think they really have to keep that in even though it was not a plot point in og.. just a unfair joke it’s disappointing :(

I am literally physically unable to even casually check out Skam Italia because of white sana

skam españa said FUCK noorhelm and i respect that! also druck kinda sucks for how colossally they fail at trying to be woke. i dont watch skam italia but fuck them for whitewashing sana lmao

skam france - the tenderness of elu and them having hands

impressed by: - SKAM Austin being the only remake where Isak character is a girl; - SKAM Spain pulling a power move of the century and replacing a noorhell season with an original wlw one; - Druck having guts to NOT cast a white cis twink to play Even; - the piano scene from SKAM France. romance was invented the day that clip dropped. half of its views on youtube are mine not impressed by the fact that all remakes (except for Spain, but maybe they saved it for later seasons) seem very adamant on retelling the noorhell storyline. one time was enough

Question 3: Which characters do you think are an improvement from their Norwegian counterparts? Which characters do you think are worse?

a lot of people also said that none of the vildes (or: none of the vildes except daphné) have succeeded in the comedy and the complexity of original vilde. a LOT of mentions of girl chris being improved in every remake bc they actually gave her a story / she has more personality / made her bi. a lot of mentions of shay and cris!!! mixed about engel because some people said she’s an improvement and some people say she’s worse. people have said that none of the eskilds have the depth of the original. a few people also said hanna is an improvement in how they developed her in season 2 i.e. not making her into a party girl. here are a selection of responses:

pretty much every chris bc they’re getting development they deserve. especially alexia and cris for being gay. italian sana is worse for being white washed

chris had no essence in the og, but alexia Jo etc are great characters. William is worse in all the remakes cuz he never improved. skam Italia is worse in every way imaginable. skamnl is way better at showing how teenage girls act. skamus took everything they needed from og and made it better

Daphné and Alexia are both an improvement on Vilde and Chris. Spanish Cris also seems to be getting much more development than the original. Italian Sana is obviously worse, and again, personally, Niccòlo just didn't have the impact of Even.

Not worse Per say but its been excruiating to watch Noorhell in lots of different versions which is why i usually skip their season or at least all their scenes. I think that Yann from Skamfr is an improvement on the Jonas character from the og because he reflects his actions much more. I kinda think Kiki from Druck wasnt as likeable as Vilde from og at first and the lesbian energies were missing but she has grown on me...I REALLY dont like the way Tyler from Skam austin treats Megan and women in general...

every version of chris has become more well rounded and gayer. definite improvements.

Shay is an improvement over isak because DUH, it's fantastic to have a black lesbian as the center of a gay storyline instead of just another white gay guy. Speaking up, Lucas Rubio is an improvement over Isak because he isn't straight passing, and if LVDH ends up having a journey to becoming more femme he'll be an improvement as well. Thin Chrises Are Worse (sorry cris soto my lesbian frog queen....) and engel and kiki are worse because they don't have the comic relief aspect that the OG vilde did, which was like, the thing that kept her bearable

Question 4: (for LGBT fans only) What gay headcanons do you have and why? How are they similar/different from the original? For example: Do you see a certain character as gay because that's how you viewed them in the original?

definitely the most commonly mentioned headcanons were lesbian daphné and bi kes! people mentioned bi isa a lot as well! a bunch of people said that they viewed vilde as a lesbian but none of the vildes besides daphné are lesbians. same with noora, though a lot of people said liv is bi or manon is a lesbian. a LOT of people said that grace is very straight. also jo being bi and elia (italia) being bi.

A lot of my gay headcanons differ from the original. For example, I headcanon vilde as a lesbian, but most of her remake counterparts I headcanon as straight (with the exception of Daphne and maybe Kelsey). I also headcanon noora as a lesbian, but I headcanon most of her counterparts as either straight (Grace) or bi (Liv, Nora, Manon). I headcanon most of the Jonases as straight (Jorge, Marlon, Jonas Druck), but I headcanon og Jonas as bi, and also Yann as bi. However, I do headcanon pretty much all Chris characters as bi/pan (except for cris since she's probably a lesbian! and is it a headcanon if a character is confirmed bi?), and I think that's sorta because all the Chris characters have similar personalities and interact with characters in similar ways, so it makes sense that I'd headcanon them all similarly. I do try and take all the skam characters on a case by case basis, and I don't want to let my ideas from the original influence my views of the characters too much because they are new characters!

i always saw daphne as a lesbian because of vilde, but she has enough energy and evidence on her own. i also see manon and nora as lesbians (as i did with noora in the og, but they do have Energy on their own, as it the case with the majority of my headcanons) and emma as bi. jo and zoya? also definitely bi. most women have big wlw energies honestly. and yann and jorge are bi.

One thing I've noticed with the remakes is I don't feel obligated anymore to assign a gay headcanon to every character just to have them, if I don't feel gay vibes from a character I don't say they're gay or bi anyway just because you know! The gay headcanons I do have are based on who the characters in remakes, not just copypasting

Every version of Noora (except grace olsen, who is disappointingly het, with a tad bit of bi potential) is a lesbian to me. This is probably because I viewed og Noora as a lesbian and this colors my interpretation of all of them unless they give off extreme het vibes (grace 😔) I also hc Isa as Very Bisexual, because I mean did you see the way Liv was introduced? Also we have the same hair so she’s gotta share my sexuality sorry not sorry

I headcanon literally every Vilde as a lesbian and every Noora and Eva as bisexual precisely because of the characters in the original.

I will always headcanon the Eva's as wlw, partly out of wish fulfillment and partly because the supportive dynamic of Nooreva always stood out to me. Otherwise, the og characters don't affect my perceptions of remake characters much.

I see my high school self in Daphné, when I didn't know yet I was a lesbian. In s2 she was unable to name one thing she actually liked about the guy apart from that he's the official "hottest guy" at school, the whole "nothing turns me on", she wants a boyfriend to fit in but she's actually relieved when she learns that Charles Henri isn't into her and she's slightly obsessed with gays things (is Manon a lesbian? Lucas coming out, etc). I see my past self in her more so than with Vilde in og but that's maybe because I'm french and that's why i can connect with her more.

Question 5: What potential future things are you excited for? (Examples: Shay's season, Spanish Yousef, potential new storylines, etc.)

sooo many people mentioned shay’s season! and cris’ season! and david/matteo! and a lot of people are excited for french yousana & balloon squad! also lucas rubio’s channel! no point in showing the responses because honestly the above is what the majority of people said.

Question 6: any closing thoughts?

this one was funny kjhgfgh

(DAPHÉLIE RIGHTS!)

also i got a ton of people thanking me for the survey so you’re welcome love u all!

conclusion

i think it’s interesting how skam spain, as a whole, was really highly rated like people said it’s objectively the best one AND it’s exciting how it’s changing things BUT their characters all scored pretty low on both favorite and least favorite, so it seems like none of their characters are universally hated or loved, like maybe they haven’t made as much of an impression? i don’t know! either way it’s underrated.

also i didn’t realize how popular skamnl was! a ton of people said that skamnl is the best one, the best soundtrack, the best cinematography, the best eva, and the best noora! and yet it seems like everyone hates lucas vdh (tho not as much as they hate martino) which is interesting!

also skam italia scored super low on almost everything which i think is fun lmao

also shay is UNIVERSALLY ADORED which i’m so pleased about! gay rights!

also i’m sort of surprised at some of these results and i would LOVE if any of you want to share your insights as to why you chose a certain character as your favorite / least favorite! for example i want to hear why everyone hates grace! so feel free to send me a message explaining anything you said bc i’m genuinely curious :-)

also as i was going through the results i realized there’s a lot more questions i could have asked so if you guys ever wanna take another survey lmk :-)

88 notes · View notes