#17 songs and all of them slap

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

Well i think i might be becoming an enhypen stan which is just great

[butterflyeffectiooon]

I may get to see my favorite band from when I was 15 but at what cost

[nebbyy]

Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo x reader - It's Over, isn't It?

A/N: okay so a few weeks ago I was listening to the song “It’s Over isn’t it” form the Steven Universe series and this scenario came to my mind, so I thought I’d just make it a fic! For this piece I didn’t see a point in assigning a gender to the reader, so we go with gender neutral all the way😎😎(neither your godly parent is specified since it doesn’t really add anything to the plot, so you can choose whichever you prefer)

PART TWO IS HERE

Warning: insecurity, jealousy, angst (WITH comfort tho), mentions of suggestive activities

Word count: 3209

You kinda hate yourself right now, and you hate yourself because you are so angry right now.

Well maybe angry is an exaggeration, but still, you’re really, really upset.

And you know you should be anything but upset right now. I mean, the love of your life finally has the chance to go back to his home in the Olympus, regain his honor and his status as a god. Those were all good things that you should be ecstatic about, right?

Well, wrong.

Just thinking of it made you feel like you could throw up at any moment. Thinking about the fact that Apollo. Because, what will be of Lester, your Lester?

Your whole relationship had started because he wasn’t Apollo. He wasn’t the tall, tan, handsome and all mighty God of the Sun; he was just a normal teen, whose only things that made him stick out were his acne, his clumsiness and a somewhat nice voice. His mortal condition didn’t even give him a single chance to act in his usual exaggerated, narcissistic self. He had to start off from the start, build a personality that wasn’t based on his godly qualities, but on something more real.

And in that situation he found himself in, with his new eyes he had seen you, and you truly seemed like a deity to him. 

How could you be anything less to the rest of the world, he thought. You were your godly parent’s greatest hero, you were liked and admired by most campers both because of your victories and your looks. And he spent oh so many nights fantasizing about taking you back with him in Olympus, giving you the godly status that should be rightfully yours. But hell, with the body he’d found himself in he’d barely the courage to come up to you to talk.

He told you so many times how absolutely surprised he was when he found out that you actually liked him back, even if he looked like any 17 year old loser, his actual words. And you remembered too, how his voice was so shaky as he tried to muster up a coherent sentence, how his cheeks shone a bright red, how his hands were trembling as you took them into yours and his palms sweating. But in your mind, that was more beautiful than any sonnet, any haiku, any poem, any grandiose, Apollo-like gesture. Because that was Lester, not Apollo; and in your eyes, Lester’s awkwardness was what made him stand out, because it was purely genuine.

Now ever so often you wonder, if he used to feel like you’re feeling right now, like you’re no match to the person you love. You look at your reflection in the mirror of the bathroom, and the mean joke that played your mind made you highlight all the flaws you could spot in yourself. All things that a god could never accept in their lover. You feel so wrong, so flawed that you just wish you could turn yourself into mud and reform your appearance completely.

Gods, you’re being ridiculous right now, you think, you just want to slap yourself in the face and yell at your reflection to get a grip goddamnit! You’re one of the greatest heroes of your time, you survived two wars, you can’t possibly draw the line at a failed relationship with a god. 

At one point someone might think: but why are you so opposed to the idea that your boyfriend is finally becoming a god once again? How ungrateful can you be??

But the point is, you know damn well that the whole point of the creation of Lester was forcing Apollo into a form that would’ve been the total opposite of who he is.

Because Apollo is naturally flirty and superficial, he loves to love and be loved, and he pursues anything and everything that he finds beautiful. But he got bored easily of his love conquers, hence why he has so many kids. So in your mind, it was only natural that as soon as he was back to normality, he’d grow tired of you and move to the next mortal that piqued his interest, maybe even leaving you a single parent to a new demigod.

That’s why you couldn’t stop that nagging feeling deep into your core, as you walked out of your cabin, hearing all the girls already speculating about how beautiful, handsome, shiny and dashing Apollo will be once he goes back to his form. “And who knows, maybe he’ll set his eyes on some of the friends he made in here” squealed a girl, from which cabin you did not know nor care. Her friend replied: “Yeah I mean, ain’t no way he’s gonna keep staying with the same partner forever. I mean, come on, he’s Apollo!” They both giggled like school girls, then kept gossiping about something else, but you did not care enough to keep eavesdropping their whole conversation.

You really hated yourself for being like this right now.

Of course, you know that those two girls meant no harm, it wasn’t their fault if they knew just as much as you did about Apollo’s tendencies. And about that you’re already came to terms with, but there’s something else you hate yourself for…

You stopped reaching out to him. Or even worse, you even started to avoid him. 

Not also him, but your friends and siblings as well. You closed yourself off of everyone else in your life, opting to spend your free days in Camp by yourself, whether it is in your cabin, sparring or all alone in your favorite spot in the forest.

Which is exactly where you’re directed to right now, as you put your headphones in your ears, wasting no time to press play and then abuse the volume up button to muffle any sound from the outside. You walk past the two girls, past another group of guys that were training with one another, and past your friends too, who you didn’t noticed as they were calling and waving at you to join them for a quick snack, leaving them rather confused and preoccupied as it seemed that you were stuck in a trance, locked out in another dimension of your own.

You didn’t even see Lester excusing himself from the group to subtly start following you wherever you were going.

It’s a quiet place, the one in the forest, protected by a thick layer of trees and bushes that makes it hard to reach it; but it’s worth all the climbing and scratches for the beautiful sight of a clear waterfall that fell right into a circular body of water, surrounded  by a rather big field of moss, so soft and fresh to lay on during the hot summer nights.

And so you did, letting yourself fall on that natural mattress, then closing your eyes to feel the light breeze on your exposed skin, and let the words of the song that’s blasting at full volume at the moment fill your ears, although you can barely focus on what they’re saying

It really seems unfair, all of this. That you thought you had fallen in love not with a god, but with a boy. Somehow forgetting that boy and god mixed in Lester, two sides of the same coin.

And maybe he forgot too, because every time the two of you were together, he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to think of the responsibilities that were waiting for him. With you, he forgot about his lost and very much missed abs and tan, he forgot about his chariot and his comfortable place in Olympus. Hell, you even made him forget about all his old lovers. It was really only you in his eyes, just as he was in yours. If only he’d ever told you all of this though…

Your mind keeps swirling in a million thoughts, until it fixates on one memory in particular.

You and him, alone on that very same spot in the forest. In a similar situation as you were now, too, with your crappy phone playing music softly in the background, as the the two of you laid together, one next to the other. You turn around to look at him briefly, only to find him already looking at you. “What, do I have something on my face or..” he just shake his head with the most lovestruck eyes you’d ever seen, batting his eyes slowly before looking at you once again, “I just really want to kiss you right now”.

Your eyes widen. His eyes widen. Did he really just say THAT?

Neither of you were sure how or why, thinking back to it, you wonder if it was his godly charm poking at the back of his head. But that didn’t matter at the time, the future in which he came back to his godly state seemed so far from you, it wasn’t even an option in your head.

Nevertheless, after the initial shock from his words, you silently answered him with a slow, almost numbed movement of the head, nodding slightly, almost scared that if you moved to fast you would’ve whisked him away, or that he could’ve changed his mind already.

But that nod was all that he needed before crashing his lips against yours, one of his hands flying to grab the side of your head, while the other stayed put on its place against the ground to keep him from falling on top of you.

The kiss was an absolute mess: teeth clashing, nose bumping against each other,... but it was perfect that way to you. You broke away from each other for a brief moment to catch your breaths, and you just look into each other’s eyes. With chests heaving, breaths mixing, you both started laughing, if only for a moment, a laugh of disbelief at what had just happened.

But that laugh didn’t last long before he moved his head closer once again, this time more slowly, more confidently. The kiss was in fact much less messy, your lips found their place against each other, the panic from before had morphed into pure butterflies in your stomach and fireworks in your eyes.

After a minute at most, you broke apart once again, but only for Lester to reposition himself on top of you in a more comfortable position. Your bodies closer than ever, you could feel everything of him….

What happened after still makes your cheeks flush red at the mere thought, but it also causes a frown to form on your face. Those times, when it was just the two of you are over. Maybe it was just a time of crisis that brought you two together, the shock from a morta perspective might have caused him to cling onto the closes person he could find. You can’t help but imagine Leste- Apollo in that moment, laying in the clouds of Olympus in a much similar scenario, maybe with a beautiful nymph or a smaller deity, or a mortal he laid his eyes on while he was on this earth-

“There you are! I should’ve known that if you’re not around you’re definitely in here.” If it were a normal, mortal voice, you wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the deafening high volume of the music blasting in you ears. But it wasn’t a mortal voice.

It was loud, it was melodic, it resonated in the air like the echo of the most beautiful of songs,…

You wouldn’t even need to turn around to know that that voice came from no other than Apollo. That’s right, he probably came back to his true form already. You can’t even imagine what a scene that would’ve been, to see the handsomely perfect god walking around Camp Half Blood, how many boys and girls had probably followed him around drooling over the sight of him. 

You wish you could just stay put, coldly dismiss him and let him go for what probably is the rest of your life and his eternity. But, curiosity gets the best of you, and you can’t help but turn around tentatively, eager to see what your boyfriend really looks like.

Your mouth quite literally hits the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your mouth quite literally hit the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your throat felt tight, your mouth dry, and your whole body gives you this tingly sensation. With all of your strength, you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, before mustering all of your strength to speak without a pathetic shaky voice. “I thought you were going back as soon as you got your body back.“

“Ain’t no way that I wasn’t coming to kiss my beautiful partner goodbye.” He grinned as he swiftly took a seat right by your side, propping himself on his elbow, his eyes never once leaving yours. You swore his smile was intoxicating, you’d say contagious even if the thought that this might’ve been your last moments together didn’t fill your mind with sorrow.

You wanted to protect yourself from this, detach your mind and heart from him before he does it first, leaving you with an aching heart and moving on with his eternal life.

You felt a hand come up to your cheek, holding it softly as the sweetest melody came from his lips, “I’m gonna miss you madly once I’m back there, you know?” At that, you can’t help the deep anger that fills you from inside, a feeling that expresses through icy, stinging words, as you turned your head away from his touch, “I’m sure you’ll move on in no time.”

He frowned. That wasn’t the reaction he expected from you at all, but he didn’t really take it personally, it was so obvious that there was something troubling you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” your voice is louder, a mixture of frustration and anger. But also so much sadness, that can be felt by just how strained the sound that came from your throat is, almost as if you were fighting back tears. You swallow hard, trying to recollect yourself, “I mean that you are a God, I am just a mortal. One of many. I’ve got nothing special to be remembered for, to be remembered by you for the rest of eternity. And Im okay with it, really. Our destinies were never meant to combine, I was just another one of your lovers.” As you spoke those last words you couldn’t help but let the tears flow from your eyes, those who always looked at Lester with a mix of love and mischief, now only filled with a never ending sadness.

Slowly, as to avoid scaring you off, the renewed god took your wet face in his warm hands, pulling you closer and wiping your tears off at the same time. Gently, he spoke: “My love, you couldn’t have said anything more wrong. You are special to me, and I could never forget you. In thousands of years that I’ve existed, no one had ever treated like you did, like I wasn’t a god. Sure, it was temporary and you knew I could’ve incinerated you as soon as I got back to… this.” He looked down, gesturing at his body, a sight for sore eyes that could’ve really made you unfocus on anything were you not so taken by your talk with Apollo at the moment. “But that didn’t stop you from treating me like we were equal. And I hated it, at first. I thought it would be part of my punishment. But as time passed, I realized that being your equal was the highest of honors I could ever get. You’re… you’re crazy strong, incredibly smart, unbelievably beautiful, way too kind for your own good, especially with those brats of the kids in this Camp.”

You giggled at his words, a consistent contrast with your tearful eyes and quiet sobs, “Some of those brats are your children too, genius.” “Well then it must run in the family.” You laughed again while shaking your head, but only for a moment before returning your full attention on the boy in front of you. He took the sign to continue.

“What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think I could ever be able to let you go. Over all the lovers I had through the years, which I’m sure you know are many, you’re the only one that saw me and treated me with true love and care. Not with fearful devotion, never fearing what I was capable of. I only ever saw this kind of love in Sally Jackson, and I mocked Poseidon for letting a mortal like many treat him so casually. But now, now I get it, and to be honest I can’t help but think that you’d deserve to be called a deity far more than many others who already are. Maybe even more than me. So I refuse to ever let go of this blessing that fate has given me. And if in order to do so I have to take your soul and put it on the sky above, to rest as a star forever by my side, so be it. But trust me you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

You crumbled like a sand castle at his words, that he spoke with the very same tone, on the very same spot when you still called him Lester, and you promised to stick by each other’s side for the time you had left, only a few months before this whole encounter. You let your head fall into his broad chest, sobbing softly as you desperately clung to him. Your tears weren’t of sadness anymore, but of relief, for you had just been given the confirmation that your lover was still yours.You spent the rest of the night there, cuddling as close to eachother as possible as you rested in peace. 

The morning after, at dawn, when he had to officially go back to his daily duties, he begrudgingly got up from his place in your arms, placing butterfly kisses on your arms and neck, careful not to wake you. He left a little not right next to you, one that read: 

“I had to go, didn’t want to wake your pretty face this early in the morning.  Meet me here at dusk tomorrow, Forever yours,  A.”

It made you smile, seeing that note as soon as you opened your eyes, almost made you forget the lack of your boyfriend next to you,… and the yelling of your friends and siblings calling for your name in the distance.

You wasted no time walking towards those voices, and when they asked you just where the hell have you been all night, you just smiled and brushed it off, but everyone noticed how your usual bright self had mysteriously came back after days of brooding.

Hours later, you were calmly eating dinner with the other campers, laughing and talking and eating seemingly decent food. You were totally clueless as to where exactly Apollo was, but you guessed he was on his chariot, on his way to let the sun set and go to your secluded spot. But little did you know, he was in neither of those places. He was actually walking up to Zeus’ throne, tall and proud as he respectfully bowed to his father. “Apollo, I see it took you no time to get used to your old life once more. I trust you have learned your lesson.”

“Indeed, father. And I came here to thank you for it all. It was… better than I expected.” Zeus lifted a brow suspiciously, eyeing his son as if trying to make out what’s in his mind just by his appearance. “Mmh I hardly believe that you only came here to thank me for your punishment.” “Heh, you’re not wrong, father. I came here to make a request.”

“Depends. What is it that you desire?”

“How do you make a demigod immortal?”

[love-fictional-ppl]

number 17 (smut)with Sirius Black plss!(u can always say no :) )

(Can I be roach anon?)

Ofccc 🙏🏻 ty for the req🙏🏻

Too Sweet

Summary: Your boyfriend, Sirius Black, asks to eat you out for the first time.

Pairings: experienced!Sirius Black x virgin!Fem!reader

Warnings: language, smut, oral(f receiving), fingering, making out, color system, spit, cumming in pants, hair pulling, pet names, squirting, a smidge of overstimulation, being walked in on, etc.

Prompt: 17.) “Sit on my face”

A/N: reader and Sirius are in their 7th year and are aged to 18 but you can imagine them however you want. Title is inspired by the song Too Sweet by Hozier.

You were sure you hadn’t heard him right. Or he had to be joking. You were hanging out with Sirius in his empty dorm, the two of you had only been dating for a few months now, friends even longer than that. Sirius was your first boyfriend, he was practically your first everything. The only first he could never take was your first kiss which had been stolen by James Potter.

Earlier in the day the raven haired boy had invited you to his dorm when classes end, his roommates all busy in the afternoon. You expected your usual routine, listen to music, talk, smoke, make out.

Everything went as planned until the two of you were making out. You were laid on Sirius’ bed, him on top of you massaging your tongue with his. He pulled away from you suddenly, out of breath, “Sit on my face.”

“Pardon?” You were’t sure how to react.

“I said sit on my face. If you’re not ready yet that’s just fine, darling.” Sirius reassurance made you feel better and you would be lying if you said you weren’t soaked.

“Um, are you sure?” You had no idea why you were asking him if he was sure.

“Of course I am, darling, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t.” The pervert in you got wetter at his words.

You pulled the male forward into a searing kiss. Sirius took that as a yes and flipped you so that you were straddling him. You pulled away, unbuttoned your dress shirt and pulled off your tie. Sirius moved to kiss down your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake.

“You’re so beautiful,” the compliment caught you off guard.

You shoved the boy’s face between your bra-clad tits. Sirius waisted no time with unclasping your bra so he could latch his mouth onto your chest without a barrier.

The minute Sirius got a view of your bare chest he was in awe. Sirius latched onto one nipple and started pinching and slapping at the other one.

“Mm! Too much!” The force he used was borderline painful. Sirius pulled back with an apologetic expression, “I’m sorry, love. You want to move on to the main course?” And just like that, his devilish smirk was back.

You stood up wordlessly and peeled off your plaid skirt and panties in a seductive manner. You gave Sirius a mini-show and when you turned to face him you could see he was incredibly hard.

You went to climb back on top of the boy but he stopped you. “First I need to hear you say you want this,” Sirius spoke.

“I want you, Sirius. I want to sit on your face.” You sounded desperate and you couldn’t care less.

“Are you familiar with the color system?” He was so sweet with the way he asked. You shook your head, unsure. “Green means we’re good to keep going, red means stop. Simple enough?” You nodded your head.

Sirius pulled you onto him and adjusted you to hover over his face. Your bare pussy was about an inch from his face, Sirius spat on your clit and circled it with his thumb.

“Fuck- Sirius,” you moaned out.

“You’re already soaked. Me kissing you got you that worked up?” He asked rhetorically.

You nodded your head, your eyes with shut tight and your bottom lip was between your teeth. You were shocked by how different Sirius’ fingers felt compared to yours, his were so much more rough and larger. Sirius slapped your ass and gave it a squeeze before he ducked his hand down to finger your pussy from behind.

Sirius inserted a finger into your tight hole, he worked his fingers to match the same pace as he rubbed your clit and thrusted his finger inside of you. After a few minutes like that Sirius inserted another finger inside of you, as well as replacing his left hand, which had been circling your clit, with his mouth.

Sirius pulled your weight down onto his face and started lapping at your cunt. Sirius pulled away for a second, “What color, Sweetheart?”

You responded quicker than you ever have in your life, “Green!” And then Sirius was back to work. You felt like he was making out with your pussy but you were in utter bliss. Your hands moved from the pillows to Sirius’ hair, you heard him groan in pleasure when you tugged on his black locks of hair. You did it again and ground into his face.

Sirius used his free left hand to grab your ass roughly. You were moaning pornographicly, you were sure the two of you were going to get in trouble. Sirius lapped at your folds, not a care in the world.

“Sh-shit! Just like that!” Sirius was alternating between sucking on your clit to lapping at your folds and clit. His fingers worked a fast, steady rhythm. He curled his index and middle fingers to hit that spot that made you see white.

Sirius groaned against your pussy and praised you, “Such a good girl f’me.”

You could feel yourself getting closer, you started practically riding Sirius’ face and fingers. At first Sirius paused to get a sight of such a beautiful scene but quickly kept going. He changed his fingers pace to meet yours and started devouring your pussy. Sirius was enjoying this as much as you, he had already came in his pants, he felt like he was in a fantasy right now.

As you practically rode Sirius you think about how lewd this entire thing is. The sound of him slurping on your juices and the clapping of your ass against his hand, the stench of sex, the sight of him under you, it was all so addicting. As you got closer to your high Sirius plunges a third finger inside of you and curls his fingers inside of you.

Immediately you squirt everywhere. On his face, shirt, hand, sheets and pillows, everywhere. And Sirius fucking loved it, he swore he could cum again if he hadn’t already. He withdrew his fingers and licked them clean when he was done he licked a stripe up your pussy causing you to squirm in overstimulation.

Sirius was in awe at the entire situation before him, he swore he had died and went to heaven. Sirius allowed you to pull yourself off of him and lay next to him. You tried to catch your breath, still in shock. You couldn’t help noticing the wet patch on Sirius’ pants but before you could call him out, the door opened.

In came, James, Remus, and Peter. The three boys stopped in their tracks jaw dropped, Remus simply shut the door and left you two alone. You simply looked at each other in shock, laying there.

“Uh oh.”

I hope you enjoy, 🪳 anon! Sorry this wasn’t longer. Not Proofread!

[ofsappho]

Summertime Sadness (part 1)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

Second chance romance, heavy angst, hurt/very little comfort

Later’s better than never… right?

Ten years ago, Simon and you met at the same therapeutic boarding school. You fought, he said some shit, he left. He thought he’d never see you again.

Until one day, a hospital calls and informs him that you’ve listed him as your emergency contact.

(title from the song by Lana Del Rey)

-

Tags: mental illness, abuse, addiction, self harm, suicidality/suicidal ideation/suicide attempts, angsty shit in general, Ghost being very mean as a fucked up 17 year old boy

There’s an old battered flip phone he hides in the back of his locker wherever he’s deployed. Ghost doesn’t turn it on all that often. Everyone who knows the number is dead.

But sometimes he does, just to stare at the contacts and click through the photos and remember what it was like to talk to them.

Today is one of those days.

He can only take so much talk from his team about families, friends, dogs waiting back home, and pretty girls before feeling the urge to break things.

So he excuses himself to hide in the bathroom like a fucking pussy and takes the phone with him. Simon can pretend he’s waiting for his own phone call from people who love him for a few minutes. Then he promises himself that he’ll put it away and not touch it for another six months.

It takes forever to power on. It’s still janky from the last time Ghost threw it at a wall, it seems.

One (1) missed call.

…What?

They left a voicemail.

His fingers shake as he listens to it.

There’s a long, tinny beep. “Hi, Mr. Riley, I’m…” A woman says in a rushed, businesslike manner. “I’m one of the nurses at-“ Ghost hears a bustle of background noise; faint murmurs, emergency sirens, doors sliding open and shut. “…Hospital. I’m calling because a friend of yours,” The nurse says your name. A name he hasn’t thought about in years. “…Put you down as her emergency contact when we admitted her to our psychiatric inpatient ward. Unfortunately, she did not provide us with anyone else. Please give me a call back at this number if you’d like to speak with her.” Click.

Ghost starts packing an overnight bag before he even realizes it.

Then he’s on a plane.

-

TEN YEARS AGO

“I hate you.”

You’re crying as you run after him in the forest. He speeds up, trying to lose you in the trees. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Simon. I’ll never bring it up again.” Snot covers your upper lip and your eyes are bright with tears.

He hates this fucking place. He hates this fucking school, the kilometers of wilderness separating him from his life because the fucking shrinks think he’s crazy. He hates you for trying to keep him here.

And just when Simon was about to fly the coop, you spilled the beans. “Leave me the fuck alone. Never, ever, ever talk to me again,” He barks, stopping abruptly and turning to loom over you.

When you reach for his hand, he slaps you away. “But you promised you wouldn’t leave-“ You end up on the ground, the pine needles biting into your bare knees as if Simon shoved you.

That makes him angrier. You’re too soft for a world like this. You’re practically begging for someone to hurt you again, someone like him, with your vulnerability and open, bleeding heart. Well, he’ll fucking oblige. You’re not strong like you think you are. You’re the weakest person he knows, and weakness is something Simon could never respect.

“I lied. I fucking lied, you dumb bitch. Didn’t you realize it?” Simon snarls, wishing desperately he’d never let you befriend him on his first day at this therapeutic program.

You're sunshine and innocence and friendship bracelets, the kind of girl who will always be a victim because this world devours little girls like you. Simon is nothing like you. Simon is a survivor. A warrior. Simon is steel where you are china.

Your American accent is almost as unbearable as your pathetic weeping. “…What?” Your bottom lip wobbles.

Hopefully this will teach you a lesson about tattling. Nobody likes a snitch. “Forever doesn’t fucking exist. You were the only tolerable person in this shithole, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to be friends forever. What are you, a fucking infant? God, you’ve been nothing but a pain in my ass.” If anything, Simon is letting you off easy. You told the counselor things Simon told you in confidence about his dad because you were ‘afraid for his safety.’

But you just don’t get it. Simon can’t spend another day here. And the longer he stays, the angrier his dad will get. You just earned him another week of shit and black eyes.

“Newsflash. People lie. Everyone’s been lying to you. Nobody likes you, not even your mum. And I can’t stand you. You were useful, but I don’t need you anymore. I’m better,” Simon hisses as cruelly as he can, using every blade in his arsenal to cut at the sensitive parts of you where he knows you’ll bleed. Just like you did when you told.

You’re only stuck in this place because your mum left you here. You don’t have anyone, not like he does. He has Tommy and his mum. He has a future. You’ve got absolutely fucking nothing.

“I was just trying to help.”

“I’m getting out of here. I don’t need your help. I’d tell you to keep it, but it wouldn’t even help you.” Simon pauses. You’ve stopped crying. Good. A crying fox is easy prey for the hunting dogs. “They won't believe you. And you wanna know why?” It feels good to be the hunter instead of the fox for once. You make excellent prey.

“‘Cause I told them the truth. That you’re an obsessed freak who’s hyper fixated on me and you’d do anything to keep me here. That you’re a sick, compulsive liar and that you’re the one who’s a danger to herself, not me.”

You fall silent. Finally, blessed silence. You look up at Simon with glazed eyes and a still tongue. He feels better. Good, even.

“Goodbye. I hope I never see you again,” Simon says flatly.

-

TODAY

You picked a good place to get yourself locked up in. This is one of the nicest hospitals Ghost has been in recently. Shiny floors, no dirt caking the walls. New York City puts Kabul and Moscow to shame.

He’s wearing a plain black balaclava. Nothing identifying or particularly memorable. This is going to be a short visit. Ghost will see what you want and then leave. That’s it.

You look tired, exhausted to the very bone.

None of the shiny pinkness that drew Ghost to you in the beginning when you were fifteen and he was seventeen. None of the glow, the round cheeks, the wide doe eyes.

There’s dark circles chiseled into your face, so dark he almost thinks they’re bruises. A couple of IV bags run through a drip hidden under bandages covering your arms from wrist to elbow. Your eyes are as quiet as you are. A couple of marbles would be more lively. You look almost like a doll forgotten in a corner.

The nurse gave Ghost the run-down as she guided him to your bed. Police picked you up on a bridge trying to off yourself. Your fifth time this year. Unless you show some real improvement, the doctors will recommend an indefinite hospitalization.

You’ve been busy in the decade of his absence. Multiple addictions, more attempts than he can count, and some small stints in jail. A list of disorders he wouldn’t know how to pronounce. And nobody left to call.

Is this his fault?

When Ghost rounds the corner, you smile like he should be proud of you. “You came,” You say.

I have absolutely no business starting a new fic. Absolutely none. Idk. I have brainrot. No clue when this will be updated. But here, have it.

[confess-ledzeppelin]

I know I'm probably crossing into controversial territory here, but I'm so sick of logging onto Tumblr just to find people talking shit about Jimmy and wishing the most horrible things imaginable over a single fucking thing. He's not a creep, he's not a pedophile, he's not a Satanist, he's not an asshole, and he doesn't deserve even a fraction of the hate he gets. I see it all the time and it's sickening what people wish on him.

I might as well address the elephant in the room first. Lori's story is pretty hard to find information for since she couldn't tell the truth to save her life (I frankly can't stand her because of that), but I did manage to find the actual facts:

First of all, it was never a "passionate long-lasting love affair", it was actually only a few months (they never hooked up again after that, even in the 80s) and they weren't "madly in love" or whatever. I'm frankly not sure which of them technically initiated the relationship (although it's something to take into account that Jimmy is much more reserved than most musicians (like, say, Jagger), and Lori was a groupie for a reason), but it wasn't the way Lori described it at all. She wasn't kidnapped by anyone, and the version about Jimmy waiting in his hotel room with a cane and no clothes on is the most ridiculous rubbish I've ever heard. This isn't fucking West Side Story. They did meet at a show, though. He recognized her as a model since she was at least decently popular, but it's not like he was just waiting on the edge of his seat for a chance with her.

Secondly, this girl was absolutely not groomed. While there are certainly some tragic stories about grooming and pedophilia in the music industry (or just the entertainment industry as a whole, really), Lori is NOT a part of it. Most of these girls, including her, knew what they were doing but didn't care. After all, why would they? It was (for the most part) socially acceptable at the time, even if it wasn't legal. There are lots of women out there who will admit to sleeping with older men while they were 12-17, I've heard it myself. Does that make it right? No, but it's not like she was pushed against a wall or coerced in any way, shape or form. Despite how her stories change every time she tells them, she has said she looks back on her time with Jimmy fondly (Jimmy was very good to all of his lovers, but whether they were good to him is a different story that I'll get to later). Does he? Not really, no. He hardly talks about it and I can't blame him. But if he could go back, it's something that wouldn't have been repeated. He is a human being who made a mistake that just like every single one of us has, yet for some reason he apparently deserves to go to hell for it. It makes no sense to me. One mistake shouldn't define who he is as a person. And by the way, the "Jimmy Page if minors" memes aren't funny and you know it. Stop.

Anyway, as for what I said about past lovers, it's honestly tragic. First it was Jackie DeShannon, the same girl that kept him physically retrained in a hotel room against his will and assaulted him at least once, all while insisting that she loved him. And he believed it. One of her two songs about him, "Don't Turn Your Back On Me", basically gives the message of "we are going to last last forever. And if we don't, yes we will. Fake it 'til you make it, or else." It creeps me out. Next it was Charlotte, the same woman who allegedly cheated on him several times (even though he was faithful to her just like every other woman he was with), started heated arguments with him constantly (one time during a fight she even slapped him hard in the face while wearing several rings, which likely drew blood), and always retained a very "well he's okay, I guess" view on him even when they were having a baby. Jimmy, on the other hand, adored her and tried to give her the best. He even once said something along the lines of, "as long as I have Charlotte, I'll be okay" when he felt threatened. Basically, he would've crossed an ocean for her while she wouldn't have crossed a puddle for him. Their entire story actually reminds me a lot of Since I've Been Loving You, and he deserved so much better. Maybe there were even more incidents like these that never made it to the public, even though I don't think they're very well-known. Naturally there was also Lori, who was - to put it lightly - way more trouble than she was worth, and just her existence unfairly taints his reputation. There were also a few times when screaming girls mobbed the stage and started taking his clothes off, although I suppose they don't count for this bit.

But imagine if that shit was reversed. He would be crucified. And the best part? People actually turn it around to make it sound like it was him doing all of that. Absolutely rich. I really think people hate him just for the sake of it.

Another thing is his interest in the occult and how he's typically assumed to be a Satanist, because he gets plenty of hate for that, too. I'll put it this way: if I were to be super interested in, say, sharks, does that make me a marine biologist? Even if I study sharks for hours and visit the aquarium every week, even if I buy a whole bookstore about them, does that make me one? No, of course not. I don't see a difference. I know many occultists practice witchcraft and worship Satan and a bunch of really creepy things, but he's not one of them.

People also dislike him just for being a general asshole, and that's just as wrong. He's a sweetheart, a gentleman, and he's actually pretty funny, too. This is the same guy who rushed to help Robert up back when he was on crutches and fell in a studio. Robert said he'd never seen him move so fast. He's been there for Robert through a lot, and I think it should be said that the only reason he wasn't present at Karac's funeral was because he was physically unable. 1977 was obviously one of the worst - if not THE worst - year for him as far as his health; I think we all know that. He had even lost so much weight that his clothes from school were huge on him. But when the media came after him for answers on why he wasn't there, he accidentally made himself look pretty callous (as far as Jones goes on the situation, my guess is that he just already had vacation plans or figured it wasn't his problem anyway).

Also worth mentioning, Jimmy has done TONS of work for charity. He joined and played a part in Task Brazil, the ABC Trust, the Ahmet Ertegun Education Fund, Childline, Mount Sinai Hospital, MusiCares, the AIDS Memorial Campaign and Racehorse Sanctuary (I believe these are also supported by Robert, naturally).

This is also the same dorky guy who was found in a literal pillowcase by a roadie who was sent to wake him up. The same guy who sneezed while recording the Stairway to Heaven solo and grew frustrated with himself and started apologizing while the rest of the band couldn't stop laughing their asses off. The guy who knows not to take himself obnoxiously seriously and can laugh at himself, and has a great sense of humor. He's shy and reserved, but he's always been kind enough to notice when other people have needed help. He's always been a very polite "yes sir and no ma'am" kind of guy who says gosh instead of swearing and has a very soft voice. He's also the ultimate mama's boy, and still is even with her gone.

Sometimes he even says the most beautifully poetic things ever. "I'm just looking for an angel with a broken wing." "I remember when I was young I used to run along railway bridges with 250 foot drops... just dancing..." I mean, come on.

I'm not sure what about this guy is worth hating.

Anyway, that's my soapbox. Thanks.

Also can't fit this onto a picture, so just sharing as is. Thanks, anon!

[shanastoryteller]

🎂, Shana! Lady Mo?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

“I’m not riding in the carriage again,” Xuanyu says flatly. “You and Guangyao take it. Wangji and I will ride behind.”

Lan Xichen decides to focus on how heartening it is that Xuanyu is speaking both of his brother and his lover so familiarly and not how she’s being unnecessarily stubborn about this. “We just want to be cognizant of your health-”

“My health is fine and I’ll kick your ass to prove it,” she says flatly,

Sizhui slaps a hand over Jingyi’s mouth at the same time as he covers his face. It’s hilarious.

“Xuanyu,” Wangji says, eyebrows pushed together, “you have been more tired recently-”

Sizhui drops his hand to frown.

“I’m not going to fall asleep on the way there!” she protests. “We’re only taking disciples, we might as well fly, but if you want to ride I’m not going to stay stuck in the carriage again.”

“What if you do get tired?” Lan Xichen asks.

She rolls her eyes. “Then Wangji can carry me and you can rub it in my face for the rest of my life. Happy?”

Lan Xichen sighs and turns to A-Yao. “Don’t you have anything to say about this?”

“No,” he says, inspecting his nails. “Feel free to continue arguing with my sister and holding us up. She seems so open to persuasion.”

Lan Xichen considers how often arguing with A-Yao has yielded results in his favor, that A-Yao finds her likeminded enough to refer to her as his sister, and rapidly reevaluates his stance. “We’ll bring the carriage for everyone’s luggage and it’ll be there if you change your mind.”

As they’re leaving, he pretends not to notice Xuanyu hanging back with A-Yao and whispering, “How did you do that? Can you teach me?”

Wangji’s exasperated glance, however, tells him that any similar tricks Xuanyu tries on him are going to be all his fault.

She doesn’t get tired, or at least not enough that he can pick up on it. They stop at an inn to eat and to give the horses a change to rest before continuing the journey and they’ve just stepped inside when Xuanyu’s face lights up and she calls out, “Song Lan!”

The next moment she grimaces and flushes, as if she hadn’t meant to say that.

He turns, and sure enough the wandering cultivator is sitting at a table, uncharacteristically alone. Song Lan stands and bows to them, looking at Xuanyu in puzzlement before his face clears. “Ah, Lady Mo, it’s good to see you again.”

“You know each other?” Wangji asks.

Xuanyu keeps her mouth shut, but Song Lan nods. “We assisted in a cultivation issue at the Mo Manor many years ago. Lady Mo was only a teenager then.” He inclines his head to her. “It’s kind of you to remember us.”

Any issues at the Mo Manor should have been taken care of by the Jin, but Lan Xichen isn’t surprised by the negligence. Until he decided he needed a scapegoat for their treaty, Jin Guangshan seems to have ignored his daughter completely.

He considers correcting Song Lan’s address – she’s no longer Lady Mo, but Lady Jin – however Xuanyu hasn’t, and he knows she’s not fond of her father’s name.

Xuanyu waves a dismissive hand, her embarrassment at having called out to him apparently soothed. “Where’s Xiao Xingchen?”

His face darkens. “We parted way on bad terms a while ago. I’ve been attempting to find him to repair the damage, but it’s been more difficult than I anticipated. This village seems to be the last place someone saw him. A blind girl called A-Qing left with him, but I haven’t been able to find either of them.”

[whorediaries-09]

Hi I just found your blog and I love your writing. For kinktober could I have overstimulation with rockstar!Sirius with prompt 8 or 17 please? Maybe it is set after a show in a dressing room or sth. You don't have to do it if you don't feel like it 🥰🥰

hi gorgeous! thank you so much for your kind words, i really appreciate them.

this request gave me a ton of ideas (ajhbahuien) but i had to focus on the prime one😔

slow down;

pairing- rockstar!sirius black x reader warnings- 18+ content. a/n- i'm a whore for rockstar sirius. he's too slutty for me to resist.

prompt- overstimulation + 'i'm sorry what was that? i can't hear you over all the noises your pretty mouth is making.'

masterlist kinkotober rules kinkotober masterlist

you're buried in the pillow, yeah you're so loud but I'm about to show you, baby, slow down

the sin of lust hangs over the air as his voice rasps out into your ears, penetrating every vein of your body with an insatiable desire for him. he intertwined his fingers into your sweaty locks, squashing your cheek with the cold mirror of his vanity bus. the space echoed with skin slapping and fevering moans of pleasure and gasps of lulled lust that didn't perish. the air was thick with your lips tearing profanities as he rutted his cock into you.

you had lost track of the time you he had made you orgasm that night. just with his mouth. it was no stopping him. his tongue had lapped into your pussy with such desire, which broke your walls of tolerance. he had left you fucking shaking by the time he had pulled out your second orgasm and oh no he wasn't done yet. with a hidden cruel possessiveness, he had mocked you with a high pitched tone,

'oh oh sirius, don't stop,' your cheeks were ablaze at his words, as he had divulged between your thighs again, his fingers ramming into you as his mouth sucked on just the right spots.

your cunt had never felt so numb before this. it was numbness of cruelty, a mock to the oblivious eyes you'd given him as he'd sung the song he'd written about you. it was a high, it was drug. he was a drug.

there was no slowing down.

he rammed into your throbbing swollen and wet cunt that the sounds that echoed along with the skin slapping and verbal shouts were fucking unholy.

'please, please,' you begged with a dizzy feeling in your head that didn't register into spaced out head. what were you begging for? he slapped his hand over your ass, and you jerked forward with the force, the coil of orgasm which had been building up inside you breaking free. he held your waist as your thighs shook and you screamed with the pleasure that took hold upon your body.

throwing you upon the mattress, you saw his face framed out in his beautiful hair, his eyeliner smudged with sweat as he concentrated with positioning his cock at your swollen clit. he rubbed his tip against your slit slowly, and you bit your lip, anticipating further actions. and again, you felt your folds stretch, your walls burn as he slammed into your abused cunt, his cock prodding at your sweet spot perfectly. he gasped, his hand slapping over your poor hole. the cold metal of his rings hot against your core sent sparks up your stomach. he pulled out, pushing in again, going with a rhythmic, ungodly pace. his hand grabbed your hair, forcing you to look at the place where the both of you connected.

'look at this puffy cunt. all because of me eh?' he questioned rhetorically, as you screamed with his name tied with profanities, while you came yet again. your chest heaved and you closed your eyes with exhaustion. you felt hot as if your body was on fire as he continued drilling into your abused hole showing no signs of letting you go from his saccharine torture.

'no-no more,' you babbled, his hips rutting into yours. his teeth bared with his infamous grin that many women and men fawned over, but it was you who was treated like that by him. it was you who he wanted, it was you who he loved, it was you who he fucked. your mouth felt slack as his hit your sweet spot so perfectly, and you saw his cock was glistening with your juices with every thrust. it was too inviting for him.

'i'm sorry what was that? i can't hear you over all the noises your pretty mouth is making.' he groaned, as he chased his own release, feeling himself closer to the edge. your head fell back on the bed, your back arched, his finger rubbing your clit, as the hotness of lust overcame every inch of your body. the coil of orgasm was bubbling so ferociously, you thought you'd pass out. the pleasure overwhelmed you, and you wanted to welcome it with every thrust sirius enlisted upon your abused cunt.

'god-sirius, i'm cumming!' you screamed, your back arched like a semi circle as your orgasm escaped, painting his torso with your juices. he rasped, his hands digging into your hips,

'me too dove, gonna cum in you,' his white hot cum spilled into you, flowing out of your puffy pussy, as he heaved sighs of relief, falling on your exhausted body.

[l0stfoster]

You already know who it is, back on my bullshit 👉👉 not here for paul this time (SHOCKING)

So , darry. Darrel Curtis. My boy my baby. I just have like ,, general things i want to know more about so bare with me bc hes my fav alongside paul ofc and i can ramble

1. When did his tail get permanently fucked up and how did he mess it up so badly?

2. Ik his powers get unstable when he gets like ,, real upset so besides the night he slapped Pony, are there any instances where he just got outta control ?

3. Is he afraid that his relationship with Paul isnt real bc of his mind manipulation bc baby knowing me if i had that power id be scared to mfing death

4. Goddammit im mentioning paul again sorry but ik darry calls paul pretty boy (heart hands i love that) but does paul call darry any pet name that just makes him SWOOOON

5. Has he ever gotten jumped post-book ?? I imagine that before him and paul fell out he had told him a bunch of things including weaknesses that socs used to their advantage ESP after paul “betrayed” them, and what better way to hurt paul holden then to hurt the person he loves more than life itself

Okay thats all for now b4 i go literally insane but i may be back bc i have questions abt other couples 😼😼😼

You’re so fucking real for the Darry enjoyment too I also adore him he’s such a guy. Both in canon and in the au, I need to kiss him on the forehead. DARRY YAP TIME (Crow will be so joyous)

Timewing got really excited about this one so a lot of the answers are his, I just added on afterward with my thoughts, so the first bullet point will be hers, and the second one is mine!!

When did his tail get permanently fucked up and how did he mess it up so badly?

- I assume he tried to crush it or break it violently enough that it needed to be amputated. One way of the latter reason probably would've been falling off the roof of the house back first. One way of the former reason is heading out to a field and trying to slam a hay bale on it. - I personally like to think he'd gone far enough to get his hands on a spare tire from their father's truck and,, crunch! It was the only way he could think of doing enough damage while getting away with it since the car had issues enough to need active little fixes and tweaks, including tire changes. He was around 17 or 18 during all of this, by the way. Unlike his ears, this isn't one his family knows was purposeful.

His powers get unstable when he gets like ,, real upset so besides the night he slapped Pony, are there any instances where he just got outta control?

- There are so many instances but it happens more so when he's stressed. There were a few situations where during tests during school he accidentally ended up making an entire class of 20+ students so anxious a few were sent home and a couple jocks had panic attacks. Another instance was (using the musical for this) when he and Soda were brought in to be asked abt Pony's whereabouts and he got so pissed off with the questioning that he also heightened the officer's anger and nearly got himself arrested. Also the rumble. I think that speaks for itself. - A couple other instances I can think of are after their parents died, when Dally got shot, and uh. The entirety of the duration that Pony was gone, though that was mostly him heightening his own distraught compared to anyone else. He probably does it every now and then at work too during rough work days, which makes for some interesting occurences.

Is he afraid that his relationship with Paul isn't real bc of his mind manipulation bc baby knowing me if I had that power I'd be scared to mfing death.

- Absolutely. He stresses abt it every second of every minute of every hour of every day. - A little fact that Darry doesn't know, though, is that after Paul's powers are presented he has a level of resistance to certain types of curse-related powers! He's not immune, per se, but Darry's manipulation, Soda's song, and Johnny's death sense are all a little lowered; this is because he's in the direct bloodline of the witch who cursed Tulsa. In the way that Johnny can't see Paul's death date (but can get flashes of it), Soda's siren song is easier for Paul to break himself out of and he can tolerate Darry's manipulation for a little longer before caving into it. Parry fans can rest easy knowing that Paul's love for Darry is 100% genuine. Unfortunately, Darry does not know that </3

Goddammit Im mentioning Paul again sorry but ik Darry calls Paul pretty boy (heart hands I love that) but does Paul call Darry any pet name that just makes him SWOOOON

- It's mostly the Latin nicknames that get him. He may not know what the hell Paul is saying but he's in love with it anyway. But he's also especially fond of being called the ever so typical "sugar" - Yeah it's just a bunch of Latin and then the usually sappy ones. Darling, Doll, etc. Paul hits him with “Optimum accidit mihi” ("The best thing to happen to me") once and Darry would actually fold if he knew it.

Has he ever gotten jumped post-book ?? I imagine that before he and Paul fell out he had told him a bunch of things including weaknesses that socs used to their advantage ESP after Paul “betrayed” them, and what better way to hurt Paul Holden than to hurt the person he loves more than life itself

- I imagine maybe once but there was also when he went hunting for Two's stolen feathers and was... scary. He's a scary dude, no one wants to mess with a fae that has that much muscle and is probably not afraid to bite you. - I also agree that,, yyyyeah, Darry is arguably one of the greasers to get jumped the least, including post-book. He works a lot too, so it's not like there are many open instances for him to walk around. Darry definitely told Paul any weaknesses that did exist, but I like to imagine Paul kept those real tight to his chest- He absolutely used them himself during their time hating each other, but could never get himself to tell the other socs; it was a level of trust he couldn't bring himself to break, especially since Darry had seen and heard his own share of things from Paul that he never spilled. The Socs also didn't know that Darry was what Paul valued the most; sure, Paul was very clearly into him, buuuut they make their own assumptions regarding his sexuality and how things go relating to it-

-I could definitely imagine a scenario where they attempt to sabotage Darry and Paul's relationship out of spite if they knew how dedicated Paul is.

[bogusbyron]

Notes from 24th august matinee. Sorry this is 2 weeks late ive been busy . Heres the cast to keep in mind when reading

Note: if you want examples of certain line deliveries let me know, ill send a snippet from the audio

1) as SOON as the lights came up i was RAKING the ensemble for harry lake  and there he was

2) jordan as tall and commanding in his presence as ever. Spoke "ticket" VERRRRRY fast. Strong "law" on Meaning of the law. Harsh "yes" , on Yes, 24601, and obviously on Javert when he tells Valjean his name. Also held onto the yellow slip which uhhhhh classic

3) Valjean harsh-growl on "lord" in "lord forgive them"

4) Harry lake was hangin out by the stairs in the parole scene. He was also the one to throw the bag at Valjean. Lmfao

5) understudy bishop again! As last time, quite stern rather than gentle like Adam Pearce

6) Valjean spitting "good" in Done a bit of good.

7) bishop harsh on "that is right", as well as Quite loud and harsh on "passion", then quiet on the next line

8) valjean sobbing when bishop hands him his bag back :-((

9) during valjean's soliloquy, slight pause for stolen time after "so far" in Fallen so far, growled "if theres another", entire "gave me a number and murdered valjean" was spoken. "Soul" in Touched my soul verrrry upset-like . Growled "hate" in Hate the world. He also wiped his face on "i'll be back". He was doing a lot of sniffling from this point in the song as well which i liked . Voice crack on "soul" on Touched my soul which i fw. Pause on Reaching like "Reach. Ing". Upset on "Reaching but I fall", and a VERY strong final note.

10) At the end of the day as per an absolute banger - tom hext is the MOST visible ensemble member during this number, its great . Harry was being elusive but I ended up spotting him with tom in the factory . On the topic of Tom, he apparently did the hugest bitchiest eye roll ever when fantine says "and i pay for the child, what's the matter with that?" Which is so funny

11) katie hall AS USUALLLL TEARING UP DA STAGE🗣🗣🗣 delectable performance , lovely little suspended pause on "Life...... worth living". More goosebumps than usual too ohmy god this song is so good live. Also some sobbing between "autumn came" and "still i dream" .... HOLY SCHMOLY what a voice

12) tom and harry were the 2nd and third dudes at the start of lovely ladies . Not important but it is to me . As usual harry gets his arse slapped after "take all year" as he stumbles offstage LMFAOOO

13) for some reason i thought the foreman and the pimp were played by the same guy , only realised they werent when they BOTH came onstage. For context they look identical . Long hair with a beard. How was i supposed to know

14) fantine stumbles a bit after belting "already dead" . Also lots of weeping again for the bambatabois sequence :-( (also like last time he was like a screaming toddler)

15) javert low on "monsieur" in Rest assured, Monsieur . Which i liked

16) HEARTBREAKING "no" as fantine reaches for javert and he steps away before "i have heard such protestations" UUGHHHH

17) YOUPIEE! Breaking: My Ship Touched Each Other. Valjean puts a hand on Javert's shoulder to hold him back from Fantine .

18) hm, gayest cart scene ive seen so far . First we got the classic extended bicep touch as they make eye contact ("a memory stirs"). Javert harsh delivery on "broke" in Broke his parole. Half spoken "Of course" in Of course he now denies it. Harsh on "he couldnt run forever". Back to the gay shit, he walks RIGHT up to valjean, then once theyre basically cock to cock he glances down at his tits, then back up in time to push his face into valjean's for "this time there is no mistake", making sure to spit that T in mistake. Im taking they were inches away from each other. Insane.

19) milan was kinda looking down for Who Am I and all i could think about were how good his brows looked from this angle . Only note i took for who am i , other than mentioning how javert took his cravat after he takes it off in the courtroom. You can hear on the audio i took me saying "he's gonna sniff that tonight"

20) katie hall as always unreal as mentioned but shes seriously so good during this scene, her notes are still so strong despite being also so convincingly frail, duuude. Insane. Her and milan are such a heartbreaking duo its FAB

21) confrontation SWEEP🗣 valjean's spoken "listen to me". Javert kinda snaps "you must" very suddenly which is hilarious . Additional note but jordan's figure works so well for the confrontation and javert in general, or at least the way i view him so is it any wonder im so fond of him . Dude's hench . Makes him all the more imposing in all of javert's layers and coats .. delectable. All that grunting and groaning during the fight though Also his mouth wipe after he gets strangled Helloooo get out. At this point i wrote "shit punch" cause valjean's last punch at the end of the scene kinda sucked .

22) i forgot the actress but little cosette is sooo sweet shes lovely bless. Castle on a cloud is underrated i love that song .

23) 6th time seeing the show, 2nd tjme seeing luke thenardier.😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO tom sweep anyway

24) i like that Tall Jean (aka Willy Wonka as jordan told me he's called) is clearly an important character cause they still have him even when Jordan isnr ensemble, same fit and everything just with a diff waistcoat. Like hey Fake Jean. If youre reading this and dont know who this is you're a fake fan.

25) i like luke's french accent on "best inkeeper in down" .. mix it up a bit.

26) the gentleman guest cackling like a madman when both thenardiers flash him at the start of the song LMFAOAO

27) tom plays the blind guy if you didnt know. Anyway harry like, crawls? Up the stairs at the back of the set and when he gets to the top hes faced with a woman lifting her skirt in front of him . He then proceeds to stand up and play bongos on her boobs.?? Then later Fake Jean passes him a drink so thats nice

28) thenardier shouting "window shut"

29) here i wrote "jordan should play all the roles" who cheered

30) UGGHHHH valjean taking cosette's hands when asking her name in the forest scene brugh

31) luke is great as thenardier but i prefer the way Tom does the "i will pay" gag , cause luke just sorta jolts awake but tom does a whole snort which works better cause it draws more attention WHATEVERRR.

32) thenardier puttinf his leg up on the table when hes trying to impress valjean?? 😭😭😭😭

33) dude how is this show gonna cope w/o Claire Machin when the cast changes shes seriously so good . When the thenardiers are stood together to the side after valjean sits down at the table she like keeps gesturing as if telling thenardier to speak properly which is so funny . (As a guy with a regional english accent this was #felt.). She also fixes his cravat and then he taps her nose which was fire. However luke did fuck up  and said "shared each bone" twice OOPS oh well. He makes up for it with his classic shoulder touch-clap-stamp instead of doing the christian cross

34) valjean as last time grabbing thenardier's lapels to intimidate him before he leaves LOL

35) Will as marius i noticed moves around a LOT . ADHD who

36) harry as one of the policemen  who accompany javert in The Robbery YAY❤

37) for javert's bit in the Robbery - harsh on "hunted", growled "jean valjean". YUM! Plus spitting "feet" at thenardier. Very strong for the whole thing in general which i love to see of course

38) STARS INFLECTION, unfortunately nothing too interesting to note - not a bad thing cause Jordan's voice is gorgeous it just makes for Boring note readingLOL. Anyway..... Harsh start ("there, out in the darkness"). Very toothy (snarling expression) which i love to see thankyou jordan. Smile on first "stars", little smile on "counted" on Scarce to be counted. Held out arms a bit on "darkness" in Filling the darkness, then soft on "and light" which was luurvely. Had his arms out from "place in the sky" to "and your aim". The 2nd crescendo was VERY strong.. just wow ... additionally , Jordan was pointin riiiight at us at the end and he was thrilled to hear this when we met him stage door LMFAOA

39) Looked like marius almost walked into a beam when he enters the stage after Stars.  He also does a little giggle when he leaves . That whole scene he did not stop moving , girl slow DOWN

40) fake Gérard - he has the halfmoon glasses but wore a red coat instead of the greyish-blue one

41) Marius is so hype to be in love its so good, like hes a boy who's read romances all his life and hes finally like , able to experience it himself. Its so good. Hes thrilled. Grantaire gives him a kiss on the cheek❤

42) When marius, on the stairs, opens his arms a bit when he sings "burst of light", grantaire does the same while watching him from the floor. So good

43) when the students all gather round to listen to enjolras, grantaire like, drags him away from the crowd LMFOAA at the start of do you hear the people sing

44) noticed harry picking up and spinning one of the women as he exits after dyhtps. Also at this point i wrote "too many fair-haired white boys in this damn musical"

45) Cosette did a little swoop up into a high note on "love" in Do people really fall in love so fast. I love phoebe's voice!

46) Marius VERY excited on "music OFANgels" which was funny. Soft, near whisper on following "in my life". He did a little spin on "that is new, that is free". Bro does not stop. Also he does a really nice accent i cant quite place properly but it works for his marius i think.

47) He LOBS the stone at the window as compared to the other two mariuses ive seen who just kinda ... toss it. Hes so awkward though. And here i wrote "he feels mature but in the coddled autistic boy way. I fw him" that about sums it up

48) amena soft on "dagger in me" which she usually doesnt do . Interesting !

49) also for some reason there was like too long a pause after heart full of love like nobody clapped. Lmfao?

50) claquesous being used as a step stool again by thenardier during the attack on rue plumet. Always hysterical

51) Didn't hold the final "somebody's here" which i dont think ive ever heard. Strange! But regardless. Will callan has quite a unique voice which i WAS fond of , i liked him a lot .

52) STILL NO JAVERT BAKER BOY FOR ONE DAY MORE👎 anyway he was harsh on "wet" in They will wet themselves with blood. So, yay!

ACT 2

53) baker boy. Cheered

54) milan's "bitch expression" as i referred to it returns when he reads Now that i knlw

55) there were so many minor backstage noises . Btw like urm someones in trouble lmfoaa

56) AMENA BLOWING ME AWAY AS USUALLLLL gooooosebumps . What a voice god shes awesome

57) loudhailer harsh on "you" and short on "this"  for You at the barricade listen to this

58) djavanjolras being taller than jordanvert will never not be funny. Hes the only one bruh

59) javert's smile just FALLING when gavroche shouts LIAR is so fucking funny

60) Will callan's voice was SOOOOOOO good for A Little Fall of Rain ohhmy god its like , gentle , smooth. Delectable. He hit that shit And the heartstrings, amen. Great combo of like, disbelief and almost defeat which was heartbreaking okhhhmy gah.

61) Grantaire stopping enjolras from going to Marius after eponine dies

62) grantaire sits down and talks to javert after javert is brought out to sit on the bench which i think is hilarious . Like they were just chatting

63) valjean's gun didnt go off when he shoots the sniper in the first attack😭😭😭😭

64) javert harsh on "upside-down" in The world is upside-down

65) BARRICADE SCEEEEEENE we were fed. Javert shoved to his knees. Pause "between once a thief. Forever a thief." Harsh, growl on "if you let me go beware, you'll still answer to javert". Lapel grab AS PERRRRRR but thistime javert was struggling a bit and kept jerking away to break free . He put his hand on his chest when valjean let go. He took a couple steps towards valjean before he says "go" which was CRAZY

66) the "pretty girls" line in Drink With Me was harry 😁😁

67) grantaire and gavroche's hug after grantaires verse is always fire

68) milan very soft on all the "him"s during bring him home. VERY strong on the crescendo though as usual .. wowzers

69) 2nd attack - grantaire kinda collapses onto a barrel instead of fighting, facing the audience the whole time. After gavroche's death when he takes his body hes sniffling the whole time WHATEVERRR RR BRUH

70) enjoltaire was fed too . Hug and forehead touch before the final attack .

71) HIGHLY inconvenient death pose for grantaire . Kinda sat on the barricade and his coat mustve caught as he slid down cause itbwas basically halfway off up his arms as he kinda hung from a plank or something LMFOAAOAO

72) javert looking genuinely quite distressed over gavroche's body which is crazy  mane fuck off jordan with your expressions

73) thenardier playing with the body's arm kinda shaking it after first verse of Dog Eat Dog. Harsh on "kill" in Where they kill for the bones in the street. Where tomarsier steps on marius' arse like a stool  during the song's climax luke steps over him instead

74) Javert heavy breathing when he sees Valjean in the sewers . Harsh on "talks of justice". More heavy breathing before the soliloquy. Also put his gun down and clenches his fist on "take him, valjean"

75) as with stars, inflection was typical so nothing to note. jordan's expressions were EVERYWHEEEERE during the soliloquy and i love it . Eyes bulge and eyebrows up on "flick of his knife", which was delightfully harsh. Almost worried on "vengence was his". Harsh on "debt" in debt of a thief, almost shout on "damned" in damned if i yield. Arms out on "i am the law". Harsh on "valjean" and "or" but sings "Javert". 2nd verse hes CLUTCHING that parapet  which was crazyyyy this man is going mental for SURE. Desperate "to hold dominion" and "it was his right". Growled "can this man". VERY strong "reprieved" by the way, holy shit. Desperate as usual on "and must i now begin to doubt". Points to the sky on "heaven" In is he from heaven or from hell. Yells "killed me" in This man has killed me. Shaky, almost sobbing breaths as he steps onto the bridge. Growls "jean valjean". Additional note, i noticed it looked as if he was muttering to himself a little towards the end before the lights fade to black . Which like , mane fuck of whagever bro

76) Very nice limp on Marius. Weird comment i just liked it. Thank god  post barricade marius limp

77) Quick start on "theres a grief". Small, humourless laugh after "talked of revolution". Held "tomorrow" in Tomorrow never came for a bit longer than usual. He hit that shit on the first crescendo though HOLY moly, what a voice . Harsh on "faces" and "shadows", VERY angry on "don't ask me", and remains harsh on "what your sacrifice was for".

78) He Does wipe his tears! (Cosette entrance). (Bonus note from mossy hi: marius tries to sit down, cosette attempts to help him but he refuses and struggles to continue instead) Also for thst whole scene he was kinda facing away from cosette with a very upset expression which made me ughhhhhh:-((((. Seemed better when he looked back at cosette though YAY

79) valjean kinda hunched as he walks off after the confession. Tiny inconsequential note but i liked it

80) i love watching the ensemble for this scene SO much its so good . Tom hext with his wild hair gelled back is great, obviously And apparently was staring at thenardier's arse for most of it . Generally just a fun watch the whole scene i highly recommend

81) marius pulls thenardier by the shoulder when he tells him to go away lmfao. Also there was a dude in the back clapping when he punched thenardier and is like "whaat?" when nobody else claps with him LMFAO

82) Luke does his usual coy wave @ the lord at the start of beggars at the feast

83) i really recommend looking at everyone dancing offstage at the end of beggars - harry did a little hip wiggle dance . A few do variations of a conga line dance . Djavan"s servant character usually kicks his legs up as he wheels the table offstage . SO much fun (additional nlte: djavan's character in that scene in my top 3 ensemble characters)

84) gentle yet gorgeous climb from milan for the Epilogue . Nods on "Bring. Me. Home" URGHHHHHHH....... AND he rests his face in cosette's hair and doesnt move until "i'll obey". Nods at cosette on "i will try" who nods back. MANE FJCK OFF

85) very cozy hug between valjean and the bishop . Faces in shoulders and everything . AS USUAL HARMONY ATTHE END INSAAAAANE they are, as i wrote on my notebook, nut-busting

[seventhedge]

Why Dubstep Drums Make FE3H Great

So, I wanna use this blog for something, and I figured what better than to yap about music, specifically video game music, which is about the only thing I'm passionate about these days. For this post I wanna talk about a game that is relevant right now, as it just had its 5th anniversary, Fire Emblem Three Houses.

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING ahead

There are a million different things I could talk about such as the liberal use of motifs or the rain/thunder mixes, but I wanted to zero in on something I don't see too many people talk about, and that is the strange instrumention in the soundtrack, particularly the use of electronic instruments.

So, FE3H, as a medieval fantasy (sorta) style game, you'd expect the soundtrack to reflect that, and it definitely does with its heavy string usage and marching drums to represent the whole strategic army battle thing they got going on. This piece is a very good example of this:

But hold on a sec, what the hell is that at the 1:17 mark? Dubstep drums? And not just in this track, many of the pieces in this game feature similar drums and/or electronic synth sounds which would be very out of place in a traditional medieval fantasy soundtrack, and indeed this is an instrumentational quirk not found in any previous Fire Emblem game (to my knowledge, at least). Here are a few other examples from the OST which utilize electronic instruments:

This track doesn't so much use "dubstep" drums, but the drums are most certainly electronic, bordering on breakcore at times. Definitely more subtle though.

Once again, this one is more subtle, but note the drums again, most definitely electronic. Notable due to this not being a battle theme, but instead the main hub theme (pre-timeskip aka when everything was happy, more or less)

Okay, this one isn't subtle at all, it slaps you in the face with growling synths and hard hitting drums right from the get go.

Now, you're probably wondering why the composers decided to use these electronic instruments, especially considering how subtle their usage can be in some songs. Was it purely a stylistic choice? Not exactly.

Note the last song in the examples I provided - it is the main theme of the game, and is a song sung from Edelgard's perspective. Now, what group does Edelgard have ties to that completely flies in the face of the "medieval fantasy" theme that we established?

That's right, it's Those Who Slither In The Dark, or TWSITD because I'm not typing that out every time.

TWSITD formed from the remnants of the Argarthans, and utilize their highly advanced technology. We're talking missiles here, stuff that would be insanely out of place in any setting such as Fire Emblem, and it is! Throughout the game, Edelgard is quietly working with them in the shadows for her own gains, and the specifics of that aren't really important. However, have you caught on yet? The soundtrack represents TWSITD using these electronic instruments, quietly hiding in the music, subtle but in control. The fact that the drums are more often than not the electronic instrument of choice feels relevant, as drums are arguably the backbone of music (no bias. drummer here), and so using those to represent TWSITD further shows how they're manipulating events behind the scenes. So let's go back to The Edge of Dawn, a piece closely tied to Edelgard that bombards you with heavy synths and drums - it does this to show how connected she is to TWSITD, but cleverly this connection means absolutely nothing unless you know what the group is in the first place!

The connection between TWSITD and electronic music isn't just speculation on my part either - the soundtrack outright screams it at you with a few pieces. First, let's take a look at Those Who Sow Darkness:

Right off the bat it's obvious this piece is an entirely different vibe to the rest of the soundtrack. It is entirely electronic, and also just has a much more sinister vibe to anything else I've shown. This is a track used in cutscenes heavily featuring TWSITD. Keep note of that melody by the way, it'll be relevant later :)

Next, we have this:

So, this one isn't exclusively used for TWSITD but it's closely tied to Hubert who is in turn closely tied to Edelgard so I'm counting it (its other usages are in the same vein as that one sidequest in Xenoblade that uses A Tragic Decision which is also probably the funniest thing in that game but we're not here to gush about Xenoblade or else I'd be here all day). Note the more subtle but still very obvious electronic....noises, as well as the bass. The piano takes the lead here as Hubert isn't exactly open about working with TWSITD but his close ties with them manifest as little electronic flourishes and notably the bass, a important and grounding part of any musical piece.

Okay, enough stalling. On the Verdant Wind route, the only route where you really directly confront TWSITD, you will eventually arrive at their base of operations, Shambhala. And uh, I'll just let this one speak for itself:

Same melody as before, just a tad more intense. Fitting that in the belly of the beast they ramp up the dubstep to 11.

I do also wanna mention the battle theme used for the stage directly after this, after TWSITD are taken care of. Nemesis, an old historical figure, has been revived, along with his 10 Elites that fought alongside him in the war against Seiros long ago. As TWSITD have been defeated, and since Nemesis is from the past, it is only fitting that the battle theme for this chapter, which is also the final chapter of this route, features no electronic instruments whatsoever. A stark contrast to the piece before it, but very fitting in the story. It's also incredible in general:

So yeah, that is my ramble on the electronic influence in Three Houses and why the funny dubstep track is actually fairly relevant to the theming of TWSITD and the game as a whole. I'm not an expert on VGM nor on FE3H by any means, this is just a silly little thing I noticed that I wanted to yap a bit about. Also, this is my first longwinded post on Tumblr, so if you have any feedback feel free to let me know, and don't be afraid to DM me if you wanna talk about video game music (especially Xenoblade Chronicles X, don't worry I'll get to you soon my baby)

Look out for more posts like this in the future, yapping about VGM is my calling

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- The Start Of The Live Shows

2010

Part 3

Nervous is not the right word to describe how I’m feeling for the first live show. We’ve been rehearsing everyday and night. We’ve gotten to know each other really well in such a short amount of time and I’m so lucky to be in a group where we all actually get along. At first I think it was a little weird for them having a girl in the group, but we know that if we do well in this competition then we will have to just get used to being around the opposite sex. I just get off the phone with my dad and walk back into Harry and Liams shared room where everyone else is

“YN we’re needed to film our VT”

“Ok let me just run to my room and slap some makeup on”

“You don’ need any” Harry says. I give him a small smile

“Thank you, but I’m in a group of good looking lads, that girls will fall head over heals with. I don’t want to be the slob of the group. I’ll be 5 minutes, tops” I quickly go to my room opposite and put on a little foundation, blush and mascara, nothing crazy just enough to make me look alive. Then we all head to the room where VTs are being filmed. I sit on the floor between Zayn and Liam

“I’m Louis, I’m 18 I’m from Doncaster”

“M’Harry, m’ 16 and m’Cheshire”

“I’m Niall I’m 17 and I’m from Mullingar in Ireland”

“I’m Liam, I’m 17 and I’m from Wolverhampton”

“I’m YN in 16 and I’m from Shrewsbury”

“I’m zayn I’m 17 and from Bradford. When we were practicing this song I was off time with the music. Obviously I can’t make a mistake like that on the live show”

“We’ll be ok” I smile at Zayn next to me. Once our VT filming is over we’re told to go and rest up ready for our first live show tomorrow.

Nervously we stand waiting to be introduced. My hands are shaking while holding on to the microphone. I take some deep breath trying to settle my nervous stomach

“We’ve got this” Niall puts his arm around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze.

We get into positions and music starts playing. The stage is revealed in front of us and we start singing Rule The World. During the song all of us become more and more comfortable and confident, especially when seeing Simons smiling face.

“Well guys I loved what you did with the song, you made it your own. I love how YNs voice stands out, but also blends with the rest of you. Well done” Louis says smiling

“You look like you fit together. You look like the perfect band. When I heard that there was going to be a girl in a boy band I was confused” Danni laughs “but it works”

“I have to agree with Danni. You look fantastic you sound good but I can tell you just a little more time getting to know one another and get comfortable with each other, but that will come with time. I am so happy that Simon agree to have you YN because although I couldn’t see you as a solo artist, I couldn’t see you and your talent go. You fit in so well”

“We took a risk and what was so impressive is how you help each other. I know YN you’ve been very nervous today and yes you could hear that in your vocals, but you all supported one another and that’s what a band does. It was brilliant”

Thankfully we stay in the show week after week and we are so so grateful.

[the-conversation-pod]

Let's Go, Lesbians! (A Japanese GL Episode)

And we're back! This week we're back with @ginnymoonbeam to talk about Toxic Yuri in Chaser Game W and Food Yuri in She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat. Join us as we talk about pouring champagne on your ex's head, slapping your mean boss and her big ass red outfit into next week, choosing yourself over your cruel family, becoming the best gay you can be, and marshmallow parties.

Also, because we did not talk about it in the recording, we want to repost Rina Sawayama's Chosen Family song because this scene was so powerful in SLTCSLTE.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:01:15 - Introduction 00:02:45 - Chaser Game W: A Flop 00:18:31 - She Loves To Cook, and She Loves To Eat 00:23:14 - SLTCSLTE: The Women 00:34:18 - SLTCSLTE: Yako and The New House 00:39:17 - SLTCSLTE: The Food and Nagumo 00:43:02 - SLTCSLTE: Depictions of Intimacy 00:50:53 - SLTCSLTE Ratings and Outro

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

And there it is. I’m Ben.

NiNi

I’m NiNi.

Ben

And we’re your drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.

NiNi

Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.

Ben

We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.

NiNi

And I review from a romance and drama lens.

Ben

So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…

NiNi

If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…

Ben

And if you generally just love simping…

NiNi

There is a lot of simping on this podcast…

Ben

We are the show for you!

00:01:15 - Introduction

Ben

And we're back. This week, we're talking about lesbians, finally! And we brought a friend along.

NiNi

Say hi Ginny.

Ginny

Hello!

NiNi

Ginny is here with us and we are going to talk two Japanese GLs, Chaser Game W and She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat. 

Ben, what did you think, like, sort of overarching about these two before we delve into the nitty gritty?

Ben

I thought Chaser Game W gave us a lot to anticipate early on, and unfortunately went in the direction we did not want it to go. Ended up being kind of a mess toward the end? I did not end up walking away too happy with it. 

With She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat season 2, this time we had twenty 15-minute episodes and they had things to do and say with that time and I have a lot of things to say about that show. [laughs]

NiNi

Ginny, what are your overarching thoughts about these two shows?

Ginny

I had high hopes for Chaser Game W because I always want more toxic lesbians. [NiNi laughs] I want to see the girls get to be messy, I want to see complicated dynamics. And I did really enjoy the first couple episodes, but it kind of felt like the characterizations really fell apart as the series progressed, which was a big disappointment. 

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat was a delight. Every time I sat down to watch it, my heart was full and happy and warm.

00:02:45 - Chaser Game W: A Flop

NiNi

We always go from worst to first on this show, so let's start with Chaser Game W. 

Ben, what is Chaser Game W about?

Ben

Chaser Game W is about a team of women at a game development studio in Japan who have been contracted to develop basically a demo for a GL adaptation, by a Chinese company named Vincent. It gets complicated by their project manager from the Chinese team, who clearly has beef with one of their team members and just spends most of the early show fucking with her because she's mad that they broke up in college. And then a bunch of other shit happens that is kind of weird.

NiNi

Okay, that's a hell of a description [laughs].

Ben

I'm sorry! Like, it starts off being a show that looks like it's playing into the complex dynamics about workplace power and possibly sexual harassment, and then kind of loses its way because it wants to be this mess of a story about lesbians with families and the difficult choices they have to make, and where do the husbands and children fit in this, and how does this play into career expectations? Bosses who might also be queer but evil queers?

And it's not necessarily a very coherent experience. There's a lot of ideas that sound good when you describe them to people, but in practice really weren't that satisfying to watch. This was not the Japanese GL experience I was hoping for.

NiNi

Ginny, what about you? What are your thoughts on Chaser Game W?

Ginny

It did seem like it was setting up to have some messages about not only the sexuality components, but also things about women in the workplace and being a mother and balancing those expectations… dealing with sexual harassment… all of that. But it didn't end up saying much that was meaningful to me about it, it just was like, ‘these are issues!’ If you try to draw any kind of conclusion from what the show is doing, you end up with some really messy messages. 

The way that the evil queer boss came in was so funny to me. One of the selling points of this show is this strong femdom, woman in power exacting humiliation dynamic. But halfway through the show, we're resolving the relationship between the two women, so Fuyu, our previous femdom power boss, is not going to be that anymore. So we have to bring in a new one — and it just did not work for me.

NiNi

It was the dom getting dommed. It was like an inception of domming. It was a little strange. There were definitely some Chinese-Japanese dynamics in there. I don't have the cultural competency to pick up on entirely what they were doing, but it was pretty clear from the way that the show was operating. I don't know if it's stereotype, but it was clear that there was something going on there; my cultural competency in this area is not enough to figure out exactly what was going on there.

Ben

It was kind of weird seeing a Japanese show complaining about unrealistic expectations of Chinese developers? This is not a uniquely Chinese problem.

NiNi

I feel like it being set in gaming almost didn't matter to that side of things? They wanted to have this difference the show sees in working cultures be stark and to say something about that difference. But the supposed center of this, aside from the game and the development of the game, is a relationship between Fuyu and Itsuki. It's an extremely convoluted central story that just seems to serve as an excuse for why Fuyu, when she comes back to Japan, hates Itsuki so much. 

The writing feels slightly unnecessarily complicated, but I actually rather enjoyed quite a lot of bits of this. I enjoyed, for example, the direction. I thought the camera was very assured, I thought it was very clear. I don't know if this is an original story or if it's coming from manga, but the direction is very very clear to me. I really enjoyed watching the camera move. The shots are really effective. But the story itself? It's not like I thought necessarily that… the story was badly told? I'm just not sure that it was the story that I wanted. Where we're going in the beginning with Fuyu, a mean lesbian comes back and is mean to her ex-girlfriend, I felt like, okay, that's where we're going. And then, suddenly, Fuyu is married and Fuyu has a daughter and there's all this stuff around the husband and Fuyu’s feelings, or not-feelings, about the husband. It got a little muddy. 

But even with all of that, I think I probably enjoyed it more than you guys did. And I think part of the reason is that I binged it? So I didn't sit with a lot of these feelings or a lot of the confusion for very long.

Ben

It was not a fun week to week watch. As it started to deviate and get lost in itself, it was not fun to be like, 'oh right, this is where we were, all right, let's go and see how this week goes. Ohh… no. Okay.' 

You asked about whether it's original or an adaptation. It is an adaptation. The original work is about power harassment, but I believe Itsuki’s character is a man? A lot about the show made sense once we realized that it was not an original queer story being adapted. A lot of it felt really tacked on to justify the drama and not really something that the writing really contextualized or dwelled on, at all.

Ginny

There were a lot of big character turns and big decisions made without a lot of grounding in why this character would make this choice. Once the mystery of their past is explained, you do understand why they reconcile suddenly, but then all of their choices afterwards just felt baffling to me. I'm not getting any kind of character journey. The show is like, well, this happens now, and then this happens now, and then they do this thing that you didn't expect. And I want to know why!

NiNi

I… feel like in some bits I was cottoning onto it, and then in some bits I was not. For example, when Itsuki starts to take care of Fuyu’s daughter, when she comes over and realizes that the husband's left and her daughter needs taking care of. I followed that bit of the character journey. I understood in some ways why, when the husband came back, Fuyu felt maybe guilty? 

There was also, like, a little thing which I was really surprised didn't go anywhere. Early in the show the husband was video chatting with, I think his mother. And she says something like, 'you know, you have to be good to Fuyu. You're so lacking, and she is with you anyway.' that made me think that their marriage was lavender? I genuinely thought that they had some kind of arrangement or agreement — and then to find out later down the line that the husband actually was in love with her and was jealous of the thing that she had with Itsuki? That came out of nowhere for me. And then everything that followed on from there kind of didn't track, almost. 

Did either of you get that feeling initially from the husband and were surprised or was that just me?

Ginny

My sense was that the husband had been perceived as not a good marriage prospect. Probably it was not earning a lot of money and had other loserish qualities or something. So my sense from the conversation was that that was what she was talking about. I certainly didn't ever get the sense that he was in love with her, exactly? Even when he's upset, it felt more to me kind of about pride. You can't have your wife sleeping around. That's an embarrassment. I don't think there were any deep feelings in that marriage.

NiNi

I don't even think either of them really had extremely deep feelings for their daughter. Like I think Fuyu loves her daughter, but in a distracted kind of way, almost? The only depth of feeling that I felt anywhere was between Fuyu and Itsuki, and even that was tied up in all this anger and bitterness and guilt and whatever else. That's a direction to go in for sure, but it really didn't make me understand why they wanted to be together, and then why they decided not to be together… and then in the end, why Fuyu comes back out of nowhere. 

It's all muddled and mixed for me, especially the closer that we get to the end. But like I said, I don't think that I had as bad a time with it as other people might have.

Ben

I had a very bad time. [Ben and NiNi laugh] 

This show was aggravating. We've been talking about this a lot on the show lately about how much work we think we should do for a show to like, meet them emotionally, where they're trying to take us. There are times when either the writing or the performance doesn't necessarily get you all the way there? And you kind of have to just feel it for the show. But this show just does not feel complete. There are a bunch of ideas that are fine on their own, like, ‘and then she comes in here and then she pours a fucking champagne on her head.’ That's an unhinged lesbian behavior that I have seen happen in person! So like, I totally believed that.

NiNi

Oh yeah.

Ben

But then Fuyu’s turn where she’s suddenly nice to other women in the company that they're in and stops being a huge dick to the other moms, that just doesn't really track? Like, what changed in that moment? I don't really know how we went there. They had her suddenly start being nice to them so they could be on the same team against Big Red.

NiNi

I'm so mad that you called her Big Red, but it kinda works. [Ben and NiNi laugh] I'm not gonna call her anything except Big Red now.

Ben

I did not remember what her character name was. Her name was Big Red.

Ginny

That's her name now, yep [laughs].

Ben

Like it was funny when Itsuki was like, 'Fuck off, Big Red' and knocked her ass down. [all laugh]

All these moments are like, well, that was amusing on its own, but it doesn't really come together as a coherent story unto itself. There’s this huge branching point later on where it's basically the supporting cast trying to seduce a guy to give them information to save the game, and that's happening separately from the drama with Itsuki, Fuyu, Fuyu’s husband, Big Red and all the drama going on there. 

NiNi 

I want to talk a little bit about the actual game development plot, because that stuff was wild. They're preparing whatever they have to do to develop this game, and along the way they're going through literal sexual harassment. There's a point in time that they're trying to get information from this artist. And this guy is a caricature of a sexual harasser, like at one point there are five of these female game developers in his house, and they're literally peeling this guy off of each other as he gropes them. And I'm just like, is this normal or is this exaggerated? I don't even know?

Ben 

Actually, it felt like most of that was actually normal. 

NiNi 

That is terrifying. 

Ben 

The drama with the team felt pretty straightforward for me. You had women in the team having varied responses to the sexual harassment. One of them was like, 'I will absolutely not compromise myself and use sex to get ahead' and another one was like, 'I will, I got this for us.' [Ben and NiNi laugh] I thought that was fine. I didn't mind there being a character who is willing to use men's desire to advance her goals and her team’s goals. I liked that it wasn't required only for her to do that, that there were other people who didn't want to do it that way accomplishing things for their team. The up and down of, ‘is this game going to get developed or not, the expectations of our client keep changing, it seems to be for reasons well beyond us and other drama’ — that felt fairly normal for trying to get any sort of major creative endeavor with the expensive team off the ground. Most of the game development stuff tracked normally for me. Even the whole plot line about poaching talent and then dumping talent: that is a real problem right now. That sort of stuff mostly tracked for me. I wasn't that fussed about the game development stuff and the workplace conditions that they were working under. 

It was the stuff about Fuyu and Itsuki's relationship and the motivations around them romantically, and other characters’ reactions to it, that is where I struggled the most with this. It wasn't a show that left you in a cool place at the end of an episode and picked up in a great place with the next episode. Spending two months watching this was not a great experience. 

NiNi 

I think my rating’s definitely going to be higher than you guys, so I'll go first. 

Ben 

Okay. 

NiNi 

I'm gonna say 7. To me, bits are cool and I can follow generally where this is going, and the bits that I thought were weird were not offensive. It wasn’t very good, but it wasn't terrible. 

Ben 

Ginny? 

Ginny 

I gave it a 5.5. 6 is my mad-I-watched-it threshold. Anything 6 or higher might be very bad, but I'm not mad I watched it. Below a 6 I'm kind of mad that I watched it. That's where this one landed for me. 

Fuyu was very beautiful, and I did enjoy watching her every week. But when that's the nicest thing I have to say about a show, it's not good. 

Ben 

It gave this a 4. It is not recommended. I don't think this is a good lesbian story. I don't think this is a good game development story. I don't think it's a good workplace story. It is a mess. This was developed by the same person who made His the movie, so I am very confused how we ended up with something that absolutely failed on the queer front like this. I do not get it. When this show was confused, it lands on the wrong side of the coin a lot. And it felt like at the very last five minutes they were doing a shit ton of clean up. I don't think this show is worthwhile. 

NiNi 

That's gonna land us somewhere in the 5ish range overall?

Ben 

Round it down, because it sucks! [all laugh] It gets a 5 from The Conversation. 

NiNi 

So that is officially a chop. 

00:18:31 - She Loves To Cook, and She Loves To Eat

NiNi 

All right. So we're gonna leave that behind and we're going to move on to She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat. 

Ben, give us the synopsis. What is She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat about?

Ben 

Okay, let me be much nicer now because this is one of my favorite shows now. So, [laughs] She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat is like the lesbian neighbor of What Did You Eat Yesterday? We have a young woman who's a programmer. She feels like she's like late 20s, early 30s. Her name is Nomoto. She runs like a food account on Instagram, and whenever she's in a bad mood and needs to work through some stuff, she ends up making too much food, and she has a small appetite, so it goes to waste. She has a neighbor who is a taller, bigger woman, and on a whim one night she invites her over to share food with her. And this is the beginning of their friendship that eventually becomes a more serious relationship.

Second season picks up with twice as many episodes, and boy did they need them. We spend this season with Nomoto and Kasuga befriending their new, younger woman neighbor. Nomoto becomes a full-time employee at her work and develops a more reliable friendship with Sayama. She also befriends her Twitter friend Yako, who is basically one of us. She loves her stories, she loves her little food, and she loves hearing about other people's drama and poking them to get their shit together. I love her so much. 

It was a really delightful season watching these two grow closer, figure out what their relationship was going to be, and develop that into more as they dealt with some of their real personal and professional issues. I really, truly loved the season. 

Ginny, you were fairly recent to watching this, so you watched the first and second season basically as one dedicated viewing experience. What was your experience engaging with this for the first time in the last month or so? 

Ginny 

It was very fun. I did this as my unwinding as I was moving in with my girlfriend who is the loves to eat in our relationship, where I'm the loves to cook. So it was a lovely experience. The two seasons flow so seamlessly into each other. Season 2 picks up right where season 1 left off so I'm kind of glad I did it this way. I think I might have been a little frustrated at the end of season 1, especially having to wait and not knowing if we'd get more, because they don't entirely confirm their relationship by the end of that? It's understood that they're very important to each other and they have this very meaningful place in each other's lives, celebrating holidays together, but they don't even start to have conversations about what their relationship is until we're a little ways into season 2. So I'm glad that I got to watch it all unfold as a single story. 

So many details of, just the way that that develops between them felt so realistic to journeys that I've seen between two women who are close friends and realize that they might have romantic feelings for each other. All of the angsting you do about that, and the 'what does this mean' and the 'what does it even mean to love someone romantically instead of as just this very special, most importantest friend in the world,' — just so many little details were perfectly done and extremely relatable. It was just gorgeous. 

Ben 

NiNi, since you watched the first season and angsted with the rest of us about whether or not it was going to come back, and whether or not that second season was gonna be good, what were your overall impressions of the second season after you walked away from it? 

NiNi 

I loved it, but I knew I was going to love it. I had some angst in the middle of the season that we're probably gonna get to, not bad angst. Just, ‘oh, I wonder if they're doing this thing that I think that they're doing.’ But I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

I love so much how the show expands in this season. The first season is very tightly focused, mostly on Nomoto and Kasuga, whereas this season expands outward to show you some of the other people in their life and show you them developing their relationships with these other people, some new, some not. I always love stories that show you the life that these people are living. So I thoroughly enjoyed this season, had a great time with it. 

00:23:14 - SLTCSLTE: The Women

Ben

There were a lot of presentations of various women's issues that played out this season. Do the two of you have particular storylines that you especially enjoyed, or connected to?

Ginny

I love Nagumo's story. I think the one I connected to most was probably Kasuga, but I thought bringing in Nagumo as someone who could receive some mentorship from these two women and also [laughs] kind of help coach Kasuga through her feelings revelation, and relationship transition… it was a beautiful relationship and a wonderful addition, and the way that her character brings a different perspective on the whole nature of food and communal eating was also just a gorgeous touch.

Ben

What about you, NiNi? Did you have a particular plot line that you enjoyed or connected to?

NiNi

We got some stuff on the fringes about Sayama trying to date and looking to potentially get married, realizing and talking to Nomoto that she can't get married if she wants to, and then that leading Sayama to think about whether she even wants to get married. That resonated in a particular kind of way. It was a quiet little side runner, it didn't take up a lot of space in the story, but it did hit me. We end the season without really an answer from Sayama on that, but the fact that she started thinking about it? That resonated with me, for sure.

Ben

What I love about Sayama as a straight character in this narrative is: queer people don't fit the heterosexual mold, and loving queer people forces you to reckon with why we don't. And then that can often open up things for you, as well. I really loved her apology scene with Nomoto. Recognizing that her working through her own ambivalence about marriage is dismissive of the fact that it's not even an option available for Nomoto.

Ginny

You also have Kasuga's coworker, who's older and is getting a divorce after her children have grown up. Getting a divorce is extremely liberating for her. It really does show this kind of 360 view of heterosexual marriage not necessarily being right for all heterosexual women.

Ben

I think it's notable that when they show multiple older women working at this grocery store, they're all like, 'mm-mm, divorce was the right call for me, because I don't think it's right that I'm expected to take care of my husband's family and everybody else does nothing, and that's gonna be my entire existence.' And I love how explicit she was, she told Kasuga straight up: if you were my own daughter, who I do have, I would tell her the same thing, and I would say please live your life. Do not sacrifice your life for a bunch of other people who do not appreciate what you want for your life. Because Kasuga decided to sever ties with her family, because they did not respect her and they wanted her to just take care of them, and sacrifice anything she wanted for her life. It was really lovely that the show went out of its way to be explicit about that.

NiNi

Since we're already sort of diving into it, let's lean into that storyline. Kasuga left home a long time ago and decided to live her life. Kasuga has a brother who is the favored child, but Kasuga’s brother does nothing. Now Kasuga's parents are older and ill, and her grandparents are older and ill and need taking care of. And so Kasuga's dad has started looking for her now. He's like, 'Well, you're not married, whatever you're doing isn't important, you gotta come home and take care of everybody.' It only comes to her doorstep because her aunt gives her father both her number and address, because 'oh, you’re a family, you shouldn’t not talk to each other.' Her aunt thinks she's doing the right thing, but this is definitely not the right thing for Kasuga. Kasuga's father has never appreciated her as a person, has never cared about her as a person, has only focused on his son. And now he wants Kasuga to take care of him essentially until he dies. Kasuga really struggles with this. She wonders, is this my responsibility? Is this something that I have to do? Is she a bad daughter if she doesn't do this? What does this mean for her? Fujita tells her, 'Look, if you were my daughter, I would tell you do not go. You don't have a responsibility to give up your life for somebody else.'

All the conversations that Kasuga has with her father, she has them in her car. She does not talk to him when she is in her house, her safe space? She does not speak to her father in there. When she has decided that she's not going home, not just not going home, but never going home again, she sits in the car and has the conversation where she tells him, 'I'm not ever coming home. Don't contact me again.' And then she goes from the car straight to Nomoto. And Nomoto gets so furious on her behalf that she starts to cry. She's like, 'I can't believe that this man made you feel this way about yourself. He's a horrible person.' Basically, everything that Kasuga needed to hear, she got from Nomoto in that moment. 

I am an eldest daughter. I have a fantastic relationship with my family. And any caregiving I do is of my own volition, and I am happy to do it. It is still tiring. It is still exhausting. Even when it is received with gratitude and happiness and love, it is hard to do. If you have to take care of people who don't care about you? You can feel like you're dying. I am certain about it. That expectation being placed on you is hard enough. To do it for people [who] do not love you — because I do not think Kasuga’s father loves her — is impossible. And so I had a lot of feelings about it while it was happening, but watching her say, 'No, I am not going to just let go of my entire life and everything that I want for this person.' 

And then to have Fujita tell her, 'if you were my daughter,' which releases her from that burden of thinking about her mother — because that's the other part of the guilt that she's feeling. Not necessarily guilt towards her father, but the fact that if she doesn't come home, her mother's gonna have to do all of this. And she thinks about her mother all the time. It's just, it's so much. It's so deep. It's so intense. It's so delicious. And it's not what you expect to get out of a story that's told in little 15-minute episodes! It really isn't.

Ginny

I'm also an eldest daughter and feel so much of that. I spent my childhood, really, like Kasuga, very aware that there were a lot of things I was expected to give up. The way that that sinks into your brain… you just feel like, 'I am worth what I can do for people.' 

What struck me the most in that conversation with Nomoto when Kasuga first tells her what she's done, is Nomoto begs her to keep living her life here where she's thriving, and to keep being happy. Through their whole relationship, Nomoto has taken such joy in Kasuga’s love of eating and just celebrated that this gives you pleasure and you're taking pleasure, and that's a wonderful thing. And in this moment, she kind of expands it to Kasuga's whole life. And she says, please don't ever go somewhere where you can't thrive, where you can't feel joy, where you can't feel loved, and yourself. To hear someone say that? I think I did cry in that scene. You need to hear someone say that. Someone who grew up like Kasuga needs someone who loves you begging you to take care of yourself and to do what brings you joy. The heart of their relationship and what draws them together is how deeply Nomoto celebrates Kasuga taking care of herself and being taken care of and experiencing pleasure. It's beautiful.

Ben

I really enjoyed the way that continued in the whole strawberry debacle.

NiNi

[laughs] The strawberry thing. It was so funny. [Ginny laughs] It was so cute, too. It was really cute. This is after they've started dating, but their relationship hasn't changed very much. And so she asked Nagumo, is there something that she should be doing? Which I found adorable.

Ginny

It's so real.

Ben

It's funny, too, because Nagumo admits she doesn't have much experience either [Ginny laughs], and is like, 'You could, like, go do things you both like doing? Together? That sounds right.' [all laugh]

NiNi

It’s so funny. And that's when she sees this flyer for the strawberry picking. And she's like, 'Oh, okay, I like strawberry picking. I should ask Nomoto to go strawberry picking with me. That's like the kind of thing that people do when they're in relationships, right?'

Ben

'That's, like, a food thing. She likes to make food. This might be fun!' Kasuga doesn't really say what she wants to do, she just hands it to Nomoto and is like, 'Hey, I thought this might be fun for us to do' and Nomoto’s like, 'Oh, yeah, that sounds great. We can maybe go vegetable picking and then make some stuff afterwards.' And Kasuga doesn't really speak up about what she maybe wanted. 

Late in the day Nomoto realizes Kasuga maybe wanted to go check out a restaurant in the area, and wanted to maybe do strawberry picking instead. And Nomoto ends up feeling so bad about this, feeling like she was not really receptive to what Kasuga actually wanted, and like she was steamrolling her. This plays out across almost two or three episodes, but the culmination is Nomoto saying very clearly to Kasuga, 'I want you to be selfish with me. I want you to feel like you can want things and express them. It's really important to me that you are doing the things you enjoy.'

Ginny

And Kasuga admits that that's hard for her. Another moment that rang so true for me, for both of them.

Ben

So much of their relationship is Nomoto getting intense pleasure [laughs] out of watching Kasuga enjoy herself.

00:34:18 - SLTCSLTE: Yako and The New House

Ben

I'd like to talk about my favorite character of the season.

NiNi

Ben wants to talk about Yako. Let's go.

Ben

Yako is the best thing that has happened to BL and GL in the last two years. [laughs]

NiNi

She's really just like us. [laughs]

Ben

No character’s been a better audience stand in than an asexual lesbian enjoying her wine and her takeout, watching gay movies with other girls, and then hearing about their relationship drama and giving completely reasonable advice by just asking questions.

Ginny

Best life.

Ben

I love her so much. She is everything that I am trying to be every day. [NiNi laughs] And she's good at it! [laughs] She never tells anybody, 'Just do it.' She's just like, 'What are you feeling? How do you feel if you don't do it? Well, there you go.’

And then they have the curry party? That looked like so much fun. They all go over to Yako's house and meet her properly. Nomoto and Kasuga take Nagumo with them. And they make a bunch of different curry, and naan, and some fancy juice, and they have themselves a good-ass time. And this leads to Yako becoming friends with Nagumo, and she ends up becoming a confidante to Nagumo as well. She recognizes after the girls reveal they're gonna move out that somebody should check on Nagumo, who has probably gotten used to having two really reliable neighbors who care about her, and how Nagumo might be anxious about saying, like, she misses them and still wants to see them. Even as Nagumo admits, moving out is the right call for them, I love that Yako gave Nagumo space to admit that she was a bit bummed that she was gonna not be living next to two solid friends anymore. 

I love Yako so much. She is in competition for blorbo of the year.

NiNi

Yako has the best ideas for parties, too, like the first time she had the watch party with Nomoto, they've both got snacks and drinks, and they're talking about what they've got for their snacks and their drinks and then they watch a lesbian movie and they cry. [Ben and Ginny laugh] It’s so good. Literally, Yako is really just like us. 

The only thing I'm sad about in this entire season is that Sayama hasn't yet become a part of this whole little group that they have, but she will. I know she will.

Ben

They just moved in together. They got a big space. There's room for Fujita and Sayama to show up for another party they're gonna have. These two could host all six major female characters at their new place. 

Let's talk about the new place while we're here. Where…?

[all laugh]

NiNi

Go ahead. I know you want to.

Ben

I love Kasuga. I love everything about her. I love her big chair, I love her big bed, I love her big TV. I need to know where these things are going to go in the new space. [NiNi laughs] Nomoto is totally fine to just use her iPad as her fill-in device for all of her tech needs and entertainment needs. I understand Kasuga. When I moved out, I got myself two big-ass TVs! I need to know where this goes in their new space.

NiNi

[laughs] Doing it real big, right?

Ben

Mhmm! Her car real big. Shoes real big. TV real big. Everything real big.

NiNi

We can talk a little bit about the new space. It looks really good. I like the way that it feels like both of them, which is exactly what you want in a place where you’re gonna be moving in together. But can we just talk about how U-Haul lesbian it is of them to get together and immediately start talking about moving in together?

Ginny

Hang on, they started talking about moving in together [Ben laughs] and then got together. That was the order! [NiNi laughs] They were like—

NiNi

That is true, that is fair.

Ginny

—'I’m gonna move.' 

'Oh my God. I can't bear the thought of you leaving, but I understand why you have to.' 

'Well, it's okay ‘cause I was going to ask if you wanted to move in. Also, are we in love with each other?'

Like, that was the conversation. [NiNi laughs]

Ben

'And we finally picked a place to live. Do you wanna make out for the first time?' 

NiNi

[laughs] And the other good part of it is that before any of this, they somehow adopted a child together.

Ben

Right?

Ginny

Yeah! This all tracks. This is all very typical. 

NiNi

Mmhmm. This felt like the correct order of things for lesbians.

00:39:17 - SLTCSLTE: The Food and Nagumo

NiNi

Okay, we need to talk about food.

Ben

Okay.

NiNi

Because Ben started talking about the curry party and I got excited.

Ben

I got hungry, I need to go make food after this. [Ben and Ginny laugh]

NiNi

We didn't even talk yet about the takoyaki party. I am not a huge fan of takoyaki, but that looked really good.

Ben

All right, as we go into the food, let's talk about Nagumo's eating disorder, because I think that this is one of my favorite food plots in a food show in a long time.

NiNi

One of the things about these food shows is that it's about the communal experience of food. Nagumo has a social anxiety disorder where she can't eat in front of other people. The way that this is brought to the surface, and then the way that Kasuga and Nomoto figure out how to include her in the communal experience without trying to force her to eat or making it an anxious space for her where other people are eating… There's something about Kasuga that just reads incredibly reliable from the off. So when Nagumo first meets Kasuga, she very quickly gets very comfortable and feels like she can tell this woman anything. And Kasuga is just so forthright and so understanding about things, that when Nagumo tells her, you know, 'I really can't eat in front of other people,' the first thing she asks her is 'oh, well, can you drink something? Can I make you a cup of tea?' And that sort of becomes a jumping off point for the way that they interact when they're having these communal experiences around food, and the way that Kasuga explains to other people for Nagumo, but without giving too many details of Nagumo's private business. The way that these women make a comfortable space for her to still have the community of meals together without forcing her to eat, drives Nagumo to say, 'I want to go and get myself treated because I want to be able to eat with these women, because I care about them.'

Ben

I really love the arc of that. In a show about two people bonding over food, they met somebody who they couldn't necessarily do that with right away, they had to work into it. And I love the way that they slowly built that out — like the donut party was so satisfying.

NiNi

Donut party was fantastic.

Ben

There’s the donut party. There's the marshmallow party.

NiNi

Don't get me started on Nomoto and her, like, zoning out thinking about Kasuga with these marshmallows. [laughs] It was almost erotic but not in a male gaze erotic kind of way. She's got a comically large number of bags of marshmallows in Nomoto’s mind that she's hugging to her, and then she starts eating the marshmallows with a smile on her face. [laughs] All this is happening in Nomoto’s imagination and I'm just like, 'Yes, girl. Yeah, I understand what is happening to you right now.' [laughs] She's zoning out thinking about Kasuga and these marshmallows and I am cracking up. I'm having a whale of a—Oh, it's so good. 

Okay. I'm gonna get over Kasuga and marshmallows, but [laughs] not immediately. So good, so funny. No notes.

00:43:02 - SLTCSLTE: Depictions of Intimacy

Ben

You had a little bit of hesitation in the middle of the second season. Do you want to talk about that on the show? And do you feel resolved by the way they played it out?

NiNi

Not resolved, but more… comforted, I guess. Part of the agita, I think that I was having, is that I was working through myself. Yako and Nomoto are watching these lesbian films. Yako is introducing Nomoto to these lesbian movies, and they're watching them together. And Nomoto is saying she's watching these movies and all these women are so passionate, and she knows that she likes Kasuga in a romantic way, but she doesn't think that she has these passionate feelings like these women in these films. That's when Yako tells her, 'Well, you know, I'm asexual, this is how I feel about these things.' 

And in the middle of the season when this is happening, I had a bit of a moment where I'm just like, okay, is it that they're doing this purity thing where it's fine to be a lesbian if you don't have sex or sexual feelings? It was something that I was worried about. I think it was a little bit of burden of representation stuff that I was maybe putting on the show? That I felt like it was important to show female sexuality as being good and okay and fine, and not to wrap female sexuality and women loving women up in this thing of it being somehow chaste and pure. That was something that was coming from my own thoughts about it. There's not a lot of ace spectrum rep out there in terms of media and dramas in this field, so intellectually I felt like, oh, well, this is fine. But emotionally, I was having a hard time with. Intellectually, I'm like, okay, yes, if it is that this is an ace lesbian story, this is fine because there's not a lot of representation of that, either. But then I was also, like, feeling that even if it was ace lesbian representation, it was being done in this weird binary where you're either sexual or you're not, when acespec is just a whole spectrum of things. I was getting tied up in my own feelings about a lot of this, and it was giving me a little bit of grief and a little bit of gripe. 

But when we come down through the season and come down towards the end of the season, it starts to feel more like a journey of discovery, of Nomoto figuring out what labels that she would apply to herself that make her feel comfortable with the relationship, and understanding how she feels about Kasuga and in what ways they want to proceed with their relationship and the things that they want to try or not try, and having those conversations with Kasuga, as well. And that eased me in the way that I was feeling about it. I fully admit that I got tied up in my own feelings about this, because it didn't have anything to do with what the show was doing. It works out well. I feel comfortable and comforted by the way that the story goes down through to the end. I'm good with where they've decided to take Nomoto, and Nomoto and Kasuga’s relationship, and where they have hopefully paused, not stopped.

Ginny

I understand that feeling completely. I feel some kind of meta regret that the two lesbian shows we’re talking about, the horny kinky concept one was bad, and the very chaste, ace spectrum one was good. I would love more horny kinky concept lesbians that are also actually well done. But as you said, that's not a problem with this show as it is just sort of with the bigger media landscape, and the show is giving also voice to really important, very representative experiences. 

I love where they land on the question of physical intimacy, because I was wondering what they were going to do having gotten so far into the season. They hardly ever touch each other. There is this sensuality in their relationship around food, and I don't think it functions as a metaphor or a substitute for sex — it's just a different kind and source of pleasure that is important to their relationship, and that's so cool and I love it! But I love where they end up on the question of touch. Kasuga saying, 'yes, I would like to try things out one by one with you.' That's such a lovely way to say, we don't know where this ends. We don't know how we're going to feel about it, but we trust each other enough and we want to explore together at whatever pace feels right for both of us.

Ben

I am less concerned, I think, with certain styles of Japanese shows delving into onscreen depictions of sex and sexuality because of the space those shows fill. Zenra Meshi, What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and this show. The ton of sensuality in the food stuff supports the thinking around sex and intimacy, and I'm really glad they had the hug and kiss scene to make sure that we didn't skip that? But I don't necessarily need to see it in the show, in the sense that I'm okay with just confirming that it's gonna happen, or it is happening. What I do need NHK and TV Tokyo to figure out is: how does the cast of this show meet the cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday? There has to be a way to get these two stories a crossover.

NiNi

It does feel like there needs to be a crossover between these two stories. The new place that they've moved into, I'm pretty sure it's in Shiro and Kenji's building, like it has to be. That's the only thing that makes any sense to me in my head. [laughs]

What you were saying about seeing it on screen, it's not necessarily that I need to see their physical intimacy on screen, or whether there is physical intimacy on screen. I just need to understand, I think, if it was something that they were even gonna talk about or discuss, or if it was something that they wanted or not wanted. I think that it's fine for me for them to have the conversation and say, 'Okay, let's figure this out.' And if that lands upon them not being physically intimate that's fine, if it lands up on them being physically intimate, that's fine, but I think what I was worried about, and maybe I shouldn't have been, was that they were not going to talk about it at all.

Ben

I'm very glad that they had a conversation about it before they moved out, and established that it is something that they want, even if it's something they're gonna have to figure it out.

NiNi

Most definitely, but let's move back to the part where they're moving into Shiro and Kenji's building, because I feel like somehow that has to happen. And I feel like somebody needs to slip Nishijima and Uchino a note that says, 'Hey. Y'all are good at making stuff happen. Make this happen, too. Find a way.'

Ben

It's just difficult because it's an NHK adaptation versus TV Tokyo and I don't know how that plays out because one is a for-profit broadcaster and the other is explicitly a public entity.

NiNi

Figure it out. [Ben and NiNi laugh] I don't care if it's a movie, I don't care if it's a special, I don't care what it is. They need to figure this out, because there's no way that these two shows are not existing in the same universe. They have to.

00:50:53 - SLTCSLTE Ratings and Outro

Ben

I think that's it. This show is excellent. I guess we should rate it. Let's go around. 

Ginny, you're newest to this. What's your rating for this?

Ginny

I gave season one a 9 and season two a 10. Season one felt a little incomplete to me, but season two sewed it up. If I was rating them together, I would give them a 10 as a single experience.

Ben

What about you, NiNi?

NiNi

Why you even asking me? You know my answer. This is a 10.

Ben

It's a 10! 10s across the board. Go watch it right now and then when you're finished, go show it to a friend, and then make them show it to a friend. I'm not even kidding. This is excellent. This is going to have to get a new supercut for me on the show. I’m gonna have to mention this every goddamn recording we do after this. [Ginny and NiNi laugh]

NiNi

It's a good thing Ginny's here because now she goes, she's like, okay, so I'm looking for What Did You Eat Yesterday? and then She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat.

Ginny

Making notes.

Ben

It was really just so lovely. One of the things I really enjoy in my queer stories is realistic and believable-feeling friend groups around them. It's really important for me, not just that I believe in the integrity of the couple, but also the integrity of their network. And I really like when queer friend groups grow as a result of two other people finding something in each other, that was really important for me. And it's why this particular show is so special to me. I really love this show, so much. Please go watch it.

NiNi

And with that, that's all she wrote. That is going to wrap us up, say bye to the people. 

Say bye Ginny!

Ginny

Bye!

NiNi

Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace.

[atiny-for-life]

Ateez's Full Storyline Explained - Part 17

Masterlist

BOUNCY (K-HOT CHILLI PEPPERS) (Z-World)

Throughout the MV, we'll be seeing both Ateez and the Black Pirates and based on the skills we'll be seeing each member display throughout the course of the video, the Z-like symbol we see Mingi paint on the wall in the post-credit scene, and the information we get from the Diary Version of the album, we know the Black Pirates are the Outlaws-

And Ateez are the ones in white infiltrating Prestige Academy toward the end

From the Album Trailer, we already know the following:

They've been planning this mission for 6 months ("they" presumably being Ateez, the Black Pirates and Left Eye)

The Black Pirates split up into duos and have been hiding out in different parts of the city to presumably gather intel from all kinds of civilian groups: Wooyoung and San as manager and underground fighter, Yunho and Jongho as mechanics, fake cops and potentially forgers, Hongjoong as the babysitter of a goat with Mingi who's presumably been bar-hopping (I'm kidding - their roles will become clear later), Seonghwa got himself some grillz and biker friends together with Yeosang who's apparently also a food delivery driver on the side

They've now been called into action to kick off the mission with Yeosang being the communication link between all of them

Side-note: when you watch the trailer, you can see the song titles in the neon signs and the name of the delivery service: "Blue Bird" which is a callback to Halazia where the bluebird was utilized as a symbol of reclaiming your freedom

Another thing of note: To outline the older aesthetic of this MV which takes place in the outskirts of Stirctland, the aspect ratio is kept in 4-by-3 as was the norm here up until the late 2000s

This is in stark contrast to the 16 by 9 widescreen ratio from Guerrilla which was situated in the high tech city center and very much aligned with the futuristic aesthetic by utilizing plenty of polished and sleek CGI effects and backgrounds

With that in mind, let's get into the MV:

We open on Mingi who's heading into a Cowboy/Western Steampunk-looking bar called Chilli Peppers by himself

Followed by Seonghwa with his biker-buddies (he seems to have five of them) and Hongjoong in front of his GOAT sign (I can only assume this refers to the sports term Greatest Of All Time and not the animal but I do appreciate the excuse to have an actual goat in the video and promo-material)

When we see the whole crew together, it seems to be either on the bikes, in front of the Chilli Peppers bar or in front of Jongho and Yunho's garage (aptly named Outlaw Customs) which means we're moving back and forth between seeing their time apart and them post-reunion

A big part of the MV is spent with Wooyoung and San who seem to have become quite well-known during their time in hideout

San has become a successful underground fighter with his own fanclub and Wooyoung has been hustling up quite the amount of cash as San's manager, presumably from bets made against San

We can see a bunch of signs in the crowd with some of them reading stuff like "Quitting is not an option" and "The Champ is here"

Another stick-it-to-the-authorities detail can be seen during this shot of Yunho in the garage: they've managed to acquire a police car and have slapped their own Outlaw sticker on the hood because as Hongjoong said during the showcase: "In an unjust society, doing the right thing can be illegal."

Additionally, we also get a glimpse of Yunho and Jongho's police IDs which I can only assume have been forged for research or investigative purposes, i.e. to question citizens that otherwise wouldn't be willing to speak to them and answer their questions (after all, they've been trying to get into high security places to free as many civilians as possible)

Moving on to the most mysterious part of the MV (which I'm sure will make more sense within the context of the Diary entries later on): we see Yeosang and Seonghwa with their biker friends inside a room reminiscent of the museum we saw in Say My Name

In its center, we see a container on a pedestal hooked up to a bunch of tubes and wires housing a tiny little chilli plant that can seemingly only thrive in a very specific climate, hence the red lighting (temperature regulation) and the tubing (managing moisture and oxygen levels)

I can currently only speculate what these chillis can do but I'm sure they have some properties the government wants to keep away from civilian hands since they're known to use nutrition to uphold their absolute control over the population

These are also the chillis which were used to deliver messages to the other members (as seen in the trailer) and now Yeosang and Seonghwa have stolen presumably the entire remaining supply

We can see these peppers also being served in the bar Mingi entered at the beginning of the MV and upon seeing them, the other bar guests approach Mingi with a threatening air about them

This confrontation quickly escalates to a shootout in which Mingi clearly has the upper hand as he's mowing down everyone but the barkeeper before they can fire as much as a single shot (an exchange which tells me the other bar guests may have been government spies of some kind alerted by the sight of the chillis - maybe they've become a symbol of the revolutionists?)

Meanwhile, San's having a rough time in the ring (some bruises, blood crusting the corner of his mouth) while Wooyoung's trying to keep him motivated and to his credit, it seems to work

San gets up, kicks his opponent in the face and knocks him out cold which puts an end to the fight and secures him the win

Alongside the widespread cheers of the fans in the audience, they celebrate his win by raining down water and money interspliced with choreography clips featuring the full group

This is also where we get the iconic clip of Mingi doing body-rolls in a cropped vest on the pool table after he shot down everyone but the barkeeper

With these wins secured, we can now check in on Ateez who have successfully infiltrated Prestige Academy in white uniforms reminiscent of the one the boy at the end of the Guerrilla MV was wearing and most importantly: the windows are all cleared and sunlight is streaming inside - the kids have been woken up.

We cut back to Hongjoong who snaps one of the chillis in half and finds within a single bullet - as someone who doesn't care for guns in the slightest, I can only say it reminds me of a sniper bullet

What this means in the grand scheme of things, I'm not sure, but I can speculate:

In a society ruled by an oppressive government, weapons are usually kept far away from civilian hands in order to prevent an uprising, especially one with even the slightest chance of success

Side-note: this cannot be compared to gun control in a democratic society where weapons-access is restricted to prevent civilian-on-civilian violence like mass-shootings

Because of that, I assume the chillis are now being used to smuggle ammunition to the revolutionists so they can build up a civilian army with a fighting chance against the Android Guardians and other government-agencies

And this bullet in particular? It's not just any bullet. This is some high-tech futuristic shit - clearly an upgrade from whatever they tried to use against the Android Guardians in Fireworks/The Leaders

We get to see Hongjoong load it into his gun before taking aim and setting it on an extremely well calculated path of controlled destruction. The following shots tracking the bullet's trajectory are deeply satisfying so let's break them down:

First, the bullet pierces right through the climate-controlled container housing the chilli plant and shattering the glass as Yeosang, Seonghwa and crew are stationed there. This has the following implications: the plant can no longer produce chillis for the government and all the remaining chillis in this universe are now in the hands of the revolutionists.

From there, it moves through Prestige Academy where Ateez are gathered and light floods inside through the open windows: the kids have been freed and there'll be no more future generations of government-controlled workers.

The projectile keeps going, moving through the darkened inner city and heading straight for the tallest building in the city center - the one we've already seen in the trailer which they were heading towards on their motorcycles.

It enters through a window, flies down a sterile dimly-lit corridor, pierces through a white closed door and finally finds its mark: the head of an Android Guardian (I hope it was the one who grabbed Yeosang by the neck back in the Fever Part 3 Diary Entries)

The bullet's impact triggers an explosion, which transitions into the celebratory part of the choreo as sparks fly around the Black Pirates gathered in front of the Chilli Peppers bar.

It all culminates in this shot of the Black Pirates walking away from the government skyscraper as it goes up in smoke and flames. The mission was a success.

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 ao3

Steve is the one to re-discover the tapes when they’re packing up, left in a haphazard pile on the bedside cabinet. There’s a clack of plastic against wood, and Eddie glances over to see that Steve, in reaching for his file, has scattered the cassettes, made them furl out like a fan on the cabinet.

“Oh,” Steve says. He just looks at the tapes for a couple of seconds. Blinks. “Are these Robin’s?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie doesn’t ask how he knows that—he gets the picture that when it comes to Steve and Robin, there’ll always be an implicit understanding between them.

Steve grabs a pen, winds back any of the tapes that need it, those stopped either just before or just after My Little Town.

What made it yours? Eddie doesn’t ask. Why that one?

He thinks of when he first heard the song, that ghostly, unreal feeling; the hope at Steve’s minute reaction to the sound. Not knowing what to do with the loneliness he heard in it.

“Here’s yours,” Eddie says, reaching over. His fingers drum over the cassette holder, indicating the worn sleeve; when he says, “Guessing this one’s well-loved, huh?”, it’s not supposed to mean anything, really. Just something light enough for Steve to smile at.

But Steve doesn’t reply for a moment. He turns the tape over and over in his hands, like he’s looking at some distant artefact instead of something that belongs to him. Then his shoulder raises in a half-shrug; his face does something too complicated and quick for Eddie to catch. Something between a smile and a wince—not quite one or the other.

“It was my mom’s first,” Steve says.

-

Robin arrives like a whirlwind as Steve’s getting discharged—if a whirlwind can be an at all reassuring presence, which right now is absolutely the case.

“Hey, look who’s decided to come crawling back,” Steve says when he sees her, grinning.

She slaps him on the shoulder. “Stop, Steve, Dad’s been a total—”

“Yeah, yeah, I—”

“—nightmare and, yeah, I get it, coming back home from a lovely Spring Break—”

“Rob, I was kidding!”

“—to find that oh, there’s kinda been a, uh, cataclysmic event might make anyone a teensy bit uneasy—”

“Holy shit.”

“—but, seriously, I was practically on house arrest! He only let me go ‘cause it’s you, and he thinks the sun shines out your—”

“Aw,” Steve says, sugary sweet, “told you I’m good with parents.”

“Gross,” Robin fires back. “Absolutely disgusting, never speak to me again.”

“Can we go already? Wayne needs the car back some time this year,” Eddie says.

But his annoyance is transparently fake: the whole time Robin and Steve have been talking, they’ve all pretty much seamlessly crossed the parking lot—the self-conscious air that had been following Steve around as he used his crutches vanishing completely in the face of Robin’s banter.

Steve and Robin sit in the back, Robin taking the crutches and basically contorting her body around them so Steve can get more space.

“Radio on, Eddie!” Robin says, then imperiously calls out the frequency. “Make it snappy.”

“Demanding, isn’t she?” Steve says, and when Eddie looks over his shoulder at him, Steve winks.

“If Her Majesty decrees it,” Eddie says.

He turns the radio on, fiddles with the dial until he reaches the right station—can feel Robin drumming the back of the driver’s seat in anticipation.

“Yeah, this one!”

They tune in just in time to hear the first chorus of Material Girl.

Steve starts to giggle. “R-Robin did you phone in and ask—”

“You can prove nothing. Maybe the stars aligned and thought, hey, we might as well—”

“Sure.”

“—because the universe was so impressed by the Harrington choreography—”

“Ugh, shut up.”

“Fucking children,” Eddie says through a smirk, and as he pulls out of the parking lot, he glances up to the mirror, catches Robin and Steve dissolving into twin peals of laughter.

-

Steve’s house is full, and it makes the whole space feel different; where previously the high ceilings would make every little sound echo within the emptiness, now it’s full of noise rebounding—there’s constant movement, people coming and going, the kids barging their way around the kitchen and living room, or lounging in the hallway. It all makes the house seem smaller. Warmer.

By some sort of unspoken agreement, no-one crowds Steve, and the clamour means that his arrival doesn’t draw undue attention, means that he can just slip through the front door and take as long as he needs. Eddie can see that he’s grateful for it, sees him take a deep breath of relief as he crosses the threshold.

Hopper’s in the kitchen on a flying visit; he stays long enough to show Steve that there’s casserole in the freezer, claps him on the shoulder, then heads off with a muttered, “Gotta… damn paperwork,” which Eddie suspects is either a lie, or a complete understatement. Or both.

Steve surveys the contents of the freezer, smiles at a box of Eggos, then fully laughs when he pries open a tub of ice-cream and finds a sizeable dent in it—shakes his head and says fondly, “Erica.”

Robin shepherds them both to the TV, gently but firmly insists that Steve take up one couch to himself, his leg elevated on cushions. Eddie and Robin sprawl together on the other couch, but then Robin’s scrabbling upright, crawling to a cabinet that houses VHS tapes—and there’s the collection, multiple rows of movie musicals.

“Oh, Steve, Steve, this one first, please.”

She turns back with a copy of Oliver! in her hands.

“Yeah, whatever,” Steve says—and it’s not dismissive. Eddie gets the impression that Robin could’ve said any movie in the world and Steve wouldn’t have cared, so long as he had her company.

Robin gasps in mock affront. “Um, excuse me, Shani Wallis’s performance as Nancy is not whatever.”

Steve groans, looks up at the ceiling. “Why do I feel like there’s history there?”

“Uh, Drama Club did it one year, right?” Eddie asks. He vaguely remembers being roped in to paint sets, never wanting to look at cobblestones ever again.

“Yeah,” Robin sighs dreamily. “I tried for Nancy.”

“Really? That’s cool,” Steve says. “Did you get it?”

Robin hesitates. “Nope.”

“Damn. Who did?”

“Um, can’t remember,” Robin says too quickly.

Eddie frowns in thought. “Wasn’t it…? Oh, yeah!” He clicks his fingers. “It was Tammy Thompson.”

And for some reason, this makes Steve cackle. Robin throws a pillow at him, which doesn’t land anywhere near his cast, but Steve groans like he’s received a fatal hit.

“Man down, man down!”

The movie mostly passes with stupid back-and-forths like that. Robin pauses at multiple points to enthuse about Nancy’s red dress and how gorgeous it is, in a tone of voice that means she isn’t just talking about the dress; and the way Steve responds with a soft smile somehow makes Eddie think that he, too, understands what she’s really saying, which… huh.

Steve soon creates a running joke which consists of pointing at any random extra in the movie, gasping and exclaiming, “Eddie, I didn’t know you were in this!”

“You’re not fucking funny, Harrington,” Eddie says. Any snark he might’ve once held is completely ruined by the grin that, without fail, appears on his face every damn time Steve makes the joke.

When the credits roll, Eddie gets up to put on another movie—finds Grease and makes a passing quip about Steve’s hair again. 

When he’s getting the tape out, he hears a soft movement, turns back to find Robin’s slid off her couch to sit by Steve’s, grabs onto his wrist suddenly.

Steve sighs. Smiles, a kind of sad edge to the corners. “I’m… I’m sorry, Robin.”

“Shut up,” Robin says quietly. “Not accepted ‘cause it’s not needed, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve says eventually. As the opening number begins, he adds in an undertone, squeezing Robin’s hand, “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Robin whispers back.

Eddie keeps quiet, going back to his seat and giving them space. He knows it’s fine to joke again when Robin announces suddenly, “Hey, we’re leaving Eddie out!” And she blows him an air kiss with a delightfully obnoxious mwah.

Eddie mimes catching it and throwing it over his shoulder nonchalantly. Robin gasps again.

When Steve snorts, Eddie pats his jeans pocket with a comically wide-eyed look, like how did it end up in there? Blows the kiss back and winks—ostensibly to the pair of them.

But he knows that’s not entirely true.

-

As dusk approaches, Eddie waits outside with Robin for her ride home to materialise—she’d asked him to go with her, and he agreed without knowing the reason behind the request.

But now he’s starting to regret it as he sees the glow of headlights approach the driveway. He hurriedly gives Robin her tapes, then steps back reflexively into the shadows.

“Hey, Eddie?” Robin says. “You know, my parents… they didn’t see the news before they came back.”

Eddie can’t help it; he raises an eyebrow dubiously. “They’ll have seen some of it by now, Buckley.”

She shrugs. “I mean, yeah. But I also… they got, like, an edited version of… events. From me.”

“Edited,” Eddie echoes faintly.

Robin nods. “Super edited. I told them… they know the important thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That you’re innocent,” Robin says, low and serious.

Eddie takes another step back. “And I’m sure they believed you.”

“They did, actually,” Robin says, meeting his gaze head-on. “It’s not like I gave them a choice.”

“…What?”

“Well, I… might’ve said that if they accepted any of the rumours about you, then I’d walk out. Permanently.”

Eddie stares at her. “Wh—why would you—”

“You’re my friend,” Robin says emphatically.

Eddie’s spared from answering by the sound of a car horn. He flinches.

But when Robin looks over to the car, she doesn’t look worried—instead, she claps a hand to her forehead, gripping her tapes with the other.

“Shoot, I forgot—stay right there.”

She runs over to the car, opens the passenger door one-handed and dumps the tapes. Eddie squints in the glare of the headlights, makes out what must be Robin’s mom in the driver’s seat. They have the same nose.

And then Robin’s running back, a gift bag swinging from her hands. As she gets closer, he sees that the bag is adorned with Happy Birthday written in looping purple and pink font.

“Sorry, it’s—the store only had the one kinda bag, and—if you hate them, it’s fine, I just thought, for when you and your uncle get a new place…”

There’s two mugs in the gift bag, with the most awful neon polka dots. Eddie adores them.

He hugs Robin in reply, and she must get that words are hard, because she pats his back a couple of times, then just holds him.

When the car pulls away, she waves enthusiastically—and he spots when her mom mirrors her wave, just for a moment.

He stands there alone, pretends like he’s not crying on Steve Harrington’s driveway.

-

He puts the gift bag on the counter, finds Steve swallowing his night-time pills with some water. It’s just the two of them now—or at least, it is for five minutes, until they hear the front door opening.

“I’m staying over!” Dustin bellows.

Steve rolls his eyes. “You gotta stop breaking and entering, dude.”

“Not breaking and entering when I use the spare key, Steve.”

“Hey, you’re off your crutches!” Eddie says as Dustin walks into view—there’s only a little bit of hesitancy to his gait now.

“Yeah, we swapped,” Steve says. He yawns, settles back on the couch and nods at Dustin. “You know where the blankets are, right?”

Dustin nods. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Think the guest bedroom’s made up if—”

“I was just gonna sleep down here,” Dustin says—and Eddie can tell from the studiously casual way he says it, that he just doesn’t want to be too far away from Steve.

Steve nods like he’s only half-heard him, tries to hide a yawn behind the back of his hand. “Sure, knock yourself out.”

It’s not that late, so they put on another movie musical, Eddie running a finger down the titles until Steve randomly says, “Stop.”

Dustin gets full use of the second couch after Eddie’s insistence on the matter; he might be off crutches, but Eddie reasons that the kid should stretch his legs out, at least.

Besides, the floor’s comfortable enough, even more so when Eddie leans his back against Steve’s couch, feels the warmth of his body heat.

They’ve hardly started the movie, Dick Van Dyke singing about, “Someone to strive for, do or die for,” when Eddie feels Steve’s hand clumsily graze his shoulder.

He turns. “All good?” he asks, keeps his voice low—Dustin doesn’t seem to hear.

“Yeah, just feel…” Steve sniffs, rubs at his face. “Kinda… heavy.”

Eddie watches over him sympathetically, thinks of Steve admitting, “It messed with me for a while, after. There was—that winter, I had to get a tooth taken out, and I didn’t want them to use numbing, because it felt a bit like…”

“You’re okay,” Eddie says gently. “It’s just the meds.” He lifts Steve’s hand, guides him until Steve is loosely holding onto Eddie’s wrist. “See? You’re right here. Not going anywhere.”

Steve breathes in deep. Exhales. “Think ‘m… m’sleepy.”

“S’all good,” Eddie says. “I got you.”

He doesn’t notice that Dustin’s looking over at them until Steve’s head tilts into the inside of the couch, fingers slack but warm around Eddie’s wrist.

“What?” Eddie mouths.

Dustin shrugs. “Glad you’re here,” he says eventually, then returns his attention to the movie.

[intotheelliwoods]

-> -> -> 2AL playlist drop!

Answered all the music related asks under the cut!

Question reference btw!

---

@teainthesnow

4 - a lyric you like

"Triangles are my favorite shape" From Tessellate by Alt-J !! Do I know why? Nah. I just also like triangles :)

11 - a popular song you think is Good, Actually

On Time by The Disco Biscuits !! Its not popular more than it is mainstream? Its one of those songs you swear you have heard everywhere, because its very much played everywhere, but like its actually good! Either its played everywhere or it just gives me loads of nostalgia? Eh whatever, its still good and im bestowing it upon you.

13 - a playlist name without context

"To Enter The Beyond" Past Human City Soundtrack

18 - a song or lyric that reminds you of the asker

Oh this for sure belongs on your AMW playlist!! Gives some absolute Tea vibes!

---

@dandywonderous

5 - ramble about a song

FORGIVENESS BY ALICE GLASS!!!!!!! OUGHOUGHOGH I LOVE THIS SONG WITH ALL MY HEART god something about it just vibrates my insides and tickles my eyes. I dont know how to describe it other than each time I hear this song I feel nothing but pure power and hopelessness at the same time. Drifting along in never ending darkness, and the only thing you have with you are the spirits and memories of those who have passed. The spirits call for freedom. You should listen to them. This song gets real for me alright?

7 - a song for which you like a cover more than the original

Not really a cover moreso than it is a remix!? But im counting it! Silk by Giselle, the original, somber and sweet but just sorta missing something you know? This remix by Favored Nations though? SLAPS. Its so upbeat and I am so here for it!

11 - a popular song you think is Good, Actually

Honestly literally anything by Electric Light Orchestra. Though to be more specific, Evil Woman!! Alright is also a good one, but less popular!

16 - do you sing or play any instruments?

No instruments here! I actually have one really nice/complex song memorized that I can do on the piano but unfortunately thats about it whoops~ As for singing apparently I actually sing good when I try!?

23 - a song you remember liking as a kid

You are going to laugh at this one. Actually. I still like it. But damn was I a weird kid. I once had a solid 150 digits of pi memorized because I would just play this stupid song on loop for like a whole ass hour every now and then???? I think I still have about 50 memorized thanks to this song.. whoopsies

---

@thimbell

5 - ramble about a song

YESSSSS YESSSSS I GET TO RAMBLE ABOUT ANOTHER SONG The World Is Ending by Matt and Kim !!!!!!!!!!!!! good GOD this song is so dear to me. Not because of the song really, but because of what the song means to me? The connections I have too it?????? Longish story short, someone made a killer AMV using it? The AMV using clips from the show Final Space! No clue if you have seen the show but no matter. Final Space is definitely up there as one of my favorite shows, not only because its good but because it actually helped me get closer with my dad, we watched it together! In other words I associate this song with just so much joy. The AMV if you were curious btw!

14 - an unpopular music opinion

Glass Animals is overrated <3 <3 Dont get me wrong I love their music! It just gets so tiresome hearing them everywhere!??? Probably just a me problem though

24 - a song people often misinterpret

I dont think I have much an answer for this one, apologies! Mostly because its not too often I pay attention to lyrics, and even then I think its cool that everyone has their own interpretations of someones song!

---

@wraenata

17 - a song that has made you cry

... honestly? Any song in a tv show that is played during a sad scene! A REALLY sad scene... one that comes to mind is Enter One by Sol Seppy (would recommend skipping to about 2:30), because it is played in the death scene of one of my all time favorite characters... alright im going to weep about that death scene more now because listening to this again is NOT helping pfft... oughh honestly now im tempted to add it to the 2AL playlist... maybe.

24 - a song people often misinterpret

Answered above!

30 - a song that makes you nostalgic

Divinity by Porter Robinson, listen this used to be my favorite song for the longest time... and it might even still be my favorite song?? Either way, I DARE not listen to it anymore for the sake of I fear for the day where this absolutely nostalgic gem gets tiresome for me...

---

@unfortunate-songbird

17 - a song that has made you cry

Answered this one above! Though for a less serious answer, any of the finale songs in Centaurworld... oops.

---

1 - which artist(s) have you listened to the most lately?

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour has been a fav in the past month! Heres a good song by them if you would like~

I am going to use this ask as a chance to also say how much I love Hugo Kant!! He makes great stuff to chill too when working! If I could log hours on youtube, my most listened to videos are so just listening to the guy live!

21 - favourite album

Not to pull out my inner cowboy, but Harlequin Dream by Boy & Bear. I fear for the day I get sick of this album its such a trip for me!

28 - rank the songs in an album

THATS IT IM RANKING ALL THE SONGS IN PAGANS IN VEGAS BY METRIC. I love this album.

#1 - Celebrate. This is the song that introduced me to the band and gives me SUCH a blast of nostalgia each listen, and it shows. Best song in the album by far. Its so weird though since I knew this song before I knew about the rest of the album, so when I finally discovered the whole album each time this song comes up its so out of place pfft! Still such a bop though!

#2 - Blind Valentine. This is just one of those songs I love singing too whenever it comes on alright!?????

#3 - Lie Lie Lie. This is the first song in the whole album, and honestly? What a knee slapping way to start an album too god damn!!!!

#4 - Cascades. I am begging you to skip to about 3:15 in this song, its a little on the plain end before that end, but THAT ENDING??????? SLAYS.

#5 - Too Bad, So Sad. ITS SO GRINDY I LOVE IT. I FEEL LIKE A PUNK IN A DESERTED WASTELAND

#6 - For Kicks. The beat is just so unique here!!!!!!???????

#7 - The Face Part |. Just some funky cool down beats at the end of the album that are very enjoyable!

#8 - Fortunes. A decent enough second song in the album, helps sets the tone for whats coming!

#9 - The Shade. Its actually a good song, just nothing special about it you know??

#10 - The Governess. vibes are there, the vibes are sure there

#11 - The Face Part ||. Just more cool off tunes to end the album with

#12 - Other Side. No. Why are you here. your ass does NOT fit with the rest of this god-tier album. goodbye.

---

Edit: @kiaxet Thought I should add you to the masterpost here!!

5 - ramble about a song

Ok. Adventure Time by Yoann Turpin. I am usually not too big on 16 bit video game sort of vibes but this??? Is such a MASSIVE exception. Holy????? THE HEART THE GUY PUT INTO THIS SONG MAN. The beat is just so unique, its impossible to try and guess whats going to happen in the song next, you strait up feel like you are on an ADVENTURE. I am so here for this song, god and its so upbeat I am in LOVE.

By the way, I linked the whole ass album because the whole album overall is so nice to listen to to pump you up when doing dishes or something lmaooooo, the first song in the album is also an amazing trip!!

8 - an artist you think underrated

HUGO KANT!!! God!!! mentioned above as well, I love Hugo Kant with a passion! He makes such good stuff just to chill too, and him live is absolutely incredible!

With the ask above I linked a video from him preforming live, so this time around I bring you two favorite albums of mine!! Far From Home and Out Of Time

I get in SUCH a zone listening to his stuff!

9 - a song you think is underrated

Phleps by C418!!! C418, the producer of the original music behind minecraft, but the guy has so much underrated personal music that is SO underrated! This song in particular, is vastly different from his usually stuff and I love it for that. Definitely underrated for being overshadowed by his work on minecraft and his work that isnt minecraft but sounds like minecraft..

29 - what do you look for in a song or artist?

I always look for something where you can tell it has genuine love and heart put into it! That + something that just sounds truly unique in its own right!