#16/31 as of right now but I think maybe if I’m still feeling good and not burnt out I can read 40 poetry books this month

[geryone]

Went to the library today & picked out 5 new poetry collections to read before bed ❤️

[ilovedinodino]

…I was so miserable? l.hc smau

SYNOPSIS : Haechan was in love with a girl from his dance studio, but one day he accidentally found her Twitter account with her terrible secrets

or how Haechan found out that his crush suffers from depression and anxiety and he's trying to hide it.

nonidol!haechan x f!reader

status: completed!

GENRE : angst, fluff, haechan is obsessed with y/n but she doesnt care.. comedyy im not funny but i will try😁

WARNINGS : depression and suicidal stuff but only in y/n’s account, yn is suffering from anxiety… kms kys jokes, good ending! idk what else

NOTE : its angst and sad (actually not much i lied), bc i AM miserable rn so sorry. Also idk if I should to write this but if someone wants it i will think about it

profiles one | profiles two 1. lied again 2. lee jeno 3. he's dead 4. who am i? 5. the sexiest couple 6. she loves my taste in music 7. I’m so exited 8. now, get up (written) 9. maybe they’re right 10. Can any car hit me 11. what?… 12. I’m sorry 13. I’m not i swear 14. just felt 15. haechan and y/n's dynamic 16. im feeling happy 17. haechan? 18. I don’t understand you 19. i like her more 20. who are u 21.1 crazy stalker 21.2 please stop 21.3 who are you? pt.2 22. you will never be yunho 23. are you serious? 24. crap 25. friday! 26. different (written) 27. yn? 28. hello 29. don't be dramatic 30. if you want this 31. what is that 32. today (written) 33. dummy (written) 34. im still shocked 35. you are literally my girlfriend?

36. I’m not miserable anymore. (written)

[jayparked]

jayparked's 1k follower drabble celebration event!

as a big thank you for hitting this milestone i wanted to do an event for my followers :)

please send me an ask with one or two members from enhypen (except riki) and one or two numbers from the list below! after one each prompt has been claimed i will be crossing them out meaning they are no longer available!

this event is nsfw so mdni

i got this list of nsfw prompts from this post. i did remove and adjust some of the prompts so this list is slightly different than the original posters!

1.“So how do you want me to fuck you?” 2. “I’m not sharing you with anybody. You’re mine, and mine only, and I’m going to make you remember that.” 3. “That’s sweet and all but do they touch you the way I touch you? Fuck you the way I fuck you? Mm, yeah, didn’t think so.” 4. Softly, “Want you to fuck me like you mean it.”  5. “Let me take care of you. I’ll do the work.” 6. “Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.” 7. “Can I…can I touch you?” 8. “My God, you’re so fucking gorgeous like this.”  9. “Can I please touch myself?” 10. “Wanna see how you look when you come undone under me.”  11. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise. Just trust me.” 12. “You sound/taste/feel/look so fucking good.” 13. “Oh God, you feel amazing, baby.”  14. A whispered “Please” slipping out of kiss bitten lips.  15. “You drive me so insane, you don’t even know.” 16. “You. Me. Bed. Now.”  17. “Is this okay?”  18. “How much do you want this?” 19. “Doing so good for me, sweetheart.”  20. “Shh, just a little more…”  21. “You’re taking me so well, baby.” 22. “Say please.” 23. “Tell me how you want me.” 24 Soft whines and whimpers; held back noises because they don’t want anyone else hearing them; a plea for more without the use of words.  25. “Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now.” 

26. “I wanna hear you beg for it"   27. “Where do you want me to touch you?” “I don’t know and I don’t care — I just want your hands on me. Please.” 28. “P-please just”—a sob—“I just need you to fuck me.”  29. “Need/want you in me.” 30. “Beg and maybe I’ll think about it.” 31. “Not so fast, bun.”  32. “So…You touch yourself to the thought of me? I’d like to see that.”   33. “Want your fingers in me.”  34. “Now, why don’t we teach you a lesson?”  35. “Touch yourself for me.” 36. “I wanna taste you on my lips again.” 37. It’s the gentle and soft touches which send shivers skittering down their spine.  38. “Rough or gentle?”  39. “Fuck, look at you right now…” 40. “You’re really messing with my head here.” 41. “Fuck, just touch me already! Just—do something!” “Not so fast. We’ve still got the whole night/day ahead of us.” 42. “Don’t wanna come until I feel you in me.” 43. “All yours. Only yours.” 44. “How about we put that pretty mouth of yours into good use, hm?”  45. “I want you to say my name like that again.”  46. “Aren’t you desperate?”  47. “Only I get to ruin you like this, you hear me?” 48. “Only I get to touch you like this, okay?” 49. “Patience, love. We’re getting there.”  50. “Look at your reflection. Look at how gorgeous you are. So fucking gorgeous when I’m fucking you like this. So pretty for me, and only for me.”

51. “Be good for me.”  52. “You want to come?” “Y-yes, I— please—” “Hm, but do you really deserve to?”  53. “You like that, don’t you?”  54. “Let’s make your thoughts a reality, yeah?” 55. “I’ll fuck you so good, I promise.”  56. “I can taste myself on your lips and it’s messing me up real bad.”  57. “You look like a mess and I love it, because I’m the one who made you like this.”  58. “You’ve got me all hot and bothered.” 59. “You don’t get to touch yourself until I say so.”  60. “Always so needy for me, aren’t you? Can’t help yourself, can you?”  61. “Please let me come.”  62. “I-I promise I’ll be good.”  63. “How are you feeling?” 64. “God, you feel so good around me.” 65. “So wet/hard for me already, huh?” 66. “Mm, always so impatient for me, aren’t you?” 67. “Do I turn you on that much?” 68. “Let me ride you.” 69. “Behave.”  70. “F-Fuck, I don’t think I’m gonna last long if you keep doing that.”  71. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone more.”  72. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”73. “Stop fucking teasing me and get to it already.”  74. “Oh, the things I’d do to you if we were alone right now…” 75. “Th-There are people outside this door—” “Well, this isn’t about them, is it?” 

76. “Look at you, squirming under me, all flushed and pretty looking. Can’t even take a little teasing, can you?” 77. “Yeah, but they don’t fuck you the way you deserved to be fucked, do they?”  78. “Might I remind you that these walls aren’t sound proof.”  79. A softly exhaled, “I don’t think I can ever get enough of you.”  80. “Do you know how much I love seeing you like this?”  81. “Gonna make sure you don’t forget about me or tonight.”  82. “Oh, sensitive there, aren’t we?”  83. In a hoarse whisper, “Fuck, you’re killing me here.”  84. “But you think about me when they’re fucking you, don’t you?” “I… That’s not true.”  85. “Try not to be so noisy, yeah?”  86. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?”  87. “Lift your hips up for me.” 88. “Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re bossy.” 89. “Look at you, coming undone before I’ve even started touching you.”  90. “I want to be the one fucking you this time.”  91. “Sweetheart, you’re so responsive to my touch.”92. “I think you’d look even better under me.”  93. “Want you to ruin me.”  94. “Do whatever you want with me.”  95. “Just sit on my fucking face already.”  96. “Who gave you permission to touch yourself?” 97. “What did I just say?” 98. “You feel so fucking good in me.”  99. “You can have all of me if that’s what you want.”  100. “Baby—shit—I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the bed like this.”

101. “Tell me if it becomes too much, okay?” “Okay.”  102. “S-Stop leaving marks on my neck. I have a presentation first thing in the morning.” “Then I get to leave marks anywhere below the neck?” 103. “Let me make you feel good this time?”  104. “You only get to watch.” “B-but—” “No buts, sweetheart.”  105. “I’d fuck you right here, right now, if I could.”  106. “Let’s take it back to my place.” 107. “Are we— are we really going to do this here?” 108. “You look so cute like this, you know?” “Shut the fuck up and just fuck me already.”  109. “Why’d you stop?” “Because you sounded too fucking good and so I had like, a moment.”  110. “Eyes on me at all times, sweetheart.”  111. “Spread your legs for me.” … “Spread them wider.”  112. Hands firm on their thighs, keeping them from snapping them shut.  113. A whispered, “Then come for me,” right next to their ear after they beg for release 114. “I want you in the most sinful ways possible.”  115. “I want you to touch me like I’m the only thing you could ever want.”  116. “Can’t— can’t you go faster than this?”  117. “You like messing with my head, don’t you?” “Only because it clearly turns you on.” 118. “Fuck, you have such a tight hold on me, you don’t even know.”  119. “Don’t make too many noises or we’ll get caught.” “That’s part of the thrill.” 120. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted so badly.” 

thank you again for all of your support ♡ masterlist

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Prompt List

Hey! I am so sorry for not uploading for like five months! I really want to start uploading again but I think doing so many Taylor Swift inspired prompts burnt me out - if you sent a request or do send one I will get to it just give me time.

Here is a prompt list I'll be using from now on, like always if you have your own idea(s), send them in!

These's prompts include: "dialogue", 'anything in quotations is what the whole fic will be based around', 5 times plus 1, AU's and more!

Send in just one or merge some ideas together!

Click here to add yourself to my tag list! 🤍

_______________________________________________

1 - “You’re in love with her, you know that right?”

2 - “I didn’t know where else to go.”

3 - “I’m replaceable, you’re not.”

4 - “You kept it?”

5 - Leaning their head on their shoulder

6 - “Because that’s what you and I do, we protect each other.”

7 - “I swear on us.” “Why us?” “Because there is nothing I have ever believed in more.”

8 - Person A getting hurt protect Person B

9 - “Hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

10 - “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

11 - “Whatever you do, don’t let go.”

12 - 5 times Person A and B correct people about their relationship status and the 1 time they just accept it

13 - Everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate. The world goes back to black and white when they die.

14 - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you.”

15 - Accidental love confession

16 - “You’re staring at him/her again.”

17 - “Give me one good reason why I should trust you?” “Because no matter how much you hate me, you know I have never lied to you.”

18 - “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

19 - “If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

20 - “You had your chance with her. You had your chance and you blew it, and this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are made for each other.”

21 - ‘I still hope there is more to our story. Maybe we just had to fall apart to find each other again one day.’

22 - “You weren’t there…why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you and you weren’t there!”

23 - “It’s my job to keep you safe, yes, but you could work with me a little to make it easier.”

24 - “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you and you haven’t stopped thinking about me.”

25 - ‘I am usually an optimist but I have never hoped for a sad ending like I do for you and her.’

26 - “I can’t say if the day I met you was the best or worst day of my life.”

27 - “Don’t look at me like that.”

28 - ‘Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.’

29 - “She’s my best friend, that’s never changed.” “Yeah, the only thing that changed was your feelings for her.”

30 - “How many fingers am I holding up?”

31 - “You’d die for her?”

32 - ‘He had that awkward tenderness of someone who had never been in love and was forced to improvise.’

33 - “I did it for you, you idiot.”

34 - “If I never see you again just know that I love you so, so much.”

35 - ‘He kissed her. Without warning, without permission. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn’t have done anything else.’

36 - “I thought you were dead!”

37 - Squeezing their hand reassuringly

38 - “Whatever you do, do not make a sound.”

39 - “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

40 - “I can’t do this without you. I won’t do this without you.”

41 - “See? I told ya they’d get together.”

42 - ‘There is some good left in this world and it is worth fighting for.’

43 - Born with your soulmates first name tattooed on your body

44 - ‘There are some people that you meet and you just know from the get go that they are important, that you have to do anything to keep them in your life. He was that person.’

45 - “You came to me, begging me for help!”

46 - “Tell me about your life before all of this.”

47 - ‘S/he would always be my biggest what if.’

48 - “It turns out I’m absolutely terrible at staying away from you.”

49 - One being forced to hurt the other but refusing, getting themselves hurt instead

50 - “Why is it always the people you can’t trust saying “trust me”?”

51 - ‘If you were going to die, I was going to die with you.’

52 - “You can’t sleep yet kid, I need you to stay awake.”

53 - ‘We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day, years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop, in a faraway city somewhere and we could give it another shot.’

54 - Five times they wanted to say ‘I love you�� and the 1 time they finally did

55 - “I always thought you were the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

56 - “I’ve never had a family before.”

57 - “I’m not leaving without her.”

58 - ‘Sometimes we do everything right and it’s still not enough.'

59 - “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

60 - ‘We’re in love, we just want to be together. What’s wrong with that?’

61 - “Take me instead. Leave her/him and take me.”

62 - Sitting together on a rooftop

63 - “I think…I’m in love with (Name.)” “Congrats on being the last one to find out.”

64 - Needing somebody else to point out the fact you have feelings for character

65 - “I know we’re not…friends or anything, but…I’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to.”

66 - Drunken kiss

67 - “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

68 - ‘Home is not where you are from. It’s where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others find it in a person.’

69 - “If I had it my way, we’d never leave this bed.” 

70 - ‘Everything that needs saying, truly saying, begins with a lump in the throat.’

71 - When mysterious injuries appear on your body, it’s because your soulmate got them.

72 - ‘For old times sake.’

73 - “I’m never gonna be good enough for you, am I?”

74 - “Don’t hurt him! Just stop hurting him, please!”

75 - ‘Sometimes there are no words that can help. Sometimes you just need to sit together in silence and try to come to terms with how the world works.’

76 - “When I let a day go by without talking to you, that’s just not a good day.”

77 – “Do you have a plan?” “I have a gun.”

78 - “How long did you think you could hide that?”

79 - “Leave with me.”

80 - ‘She was good and he needed a little good in his life because without it there was an awful lot of darkness.’

81 - 5 places Person A and B have kissed plus the 1 place where they did more than that

82 - “Honestly I wasn’t listening but I always disagree with whatever you say.”

83 - “There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with you.” “You’re more than welcome to sleep on the floor.”

84 - Person B is frowning all the time but Person A can always see when they are happy (Grumpy x Sunshine)

85 - ‘I want you to always remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”

86 - “I’ll do it, but only because you asked me to.”

87 - 5 times Person A treated Person B’s injuries, plus 1 time Person B treated Person A’s injury.

88 - ‘Maybe one day we’ll meet again and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me.’

89 - "Dying in the middle of nowhere doesn't seem so bad if you're here."

90 - “Oh no, you’re a morning person.”

91 - “I hate you.” “I love you too.”

92 - “No, don't stop, keep talking. I like hearing you talk.”

93 - “Are you cold?”

94 - “What do you want from me?”

95 - “Look, I know you hate me but I don’t know what to do and I really need some help.”

96 - “I’m not leaving you. Not this time.”

97 - “I wish things had been different.”

98 - “I can’t leave you alone for a second without you getting into trouble, can I?”

99 - “You’re not sleeping?” “Nope.” “Why not?” “Don’t want you to stab me the second I close my eyes.” “I won’t.”

100 - “This isn’t just an (object), it’s a promise.”

[love-fictional-ppl]

Smut Prompts

1.) *Character A is being choked by Character B* “Harder.” “Harder? Are you sure you want that?”

2.) “Please! I need you so badly!”

3.) “You better behave or you’ll regret not doing so.” *Character B laughs* “isn’t that the point?”

4.) The bed breaks

5.) * Character A gets a phone call while having sex* “you gotta be good, okay?”

6.) “Spit in my mouth.” *Character B chuckles* “my, what a dirty girl.”

7.) “I want a baby.” “Then we’re going to be here all night.”

8.) “do you think I’m pretty/handsome?” “Let me prove it to you.”

9.) “We’re not going to stop until the sun comes up”

10.) car sex

11.) “just lay back and let me do all the work.”

12.) “let me please you, please. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

13.) “I’m going to show you how much I love you.”

14.) “what way do you want it? Rough or soft?” “Both?”

15.) “I want you to degrade me.”

16.) “I’ve never done anything like this before.” “There’s a first time for everything.”

17.) “sit on my face.”

18.) “Did you think you were in charge here?”

19.) “I’m sorry! just don’t stop!”

20.) “I don’t want you to fuck me, I want you to make love to me.”

21.) “I still hate you by the way”

22.) “You know I love you, right?” “Yeah?” “Good, because I’m gonna fuck you like I hate you.”

23.) “Are we fighting or flirting?”

24.) “I’m addicted to the feeling of you.”

25.) “Are you turned on right now?” “No… maybe.” “Awwww, you poor thing.”

26.) “Why can’t we just make up and make out?”

27.) “Aww, don’t tell me I fucked you dumb already, my dumb baby.”

28.) “You should make an effort of remembering my name, because soon you’ll be screaming it.”

29.) “Shut up.” “Make me.” “Okay.”

30.) “Look at the mess you made.”

31.) “please? Just the tip!”

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Aoi Twitter 2023:

10 Jan: "I've been working on melodies with Ruki's voice in mind for the first time in a while, and my head is so filled with Ruki that it’s almost like I’m in love. …Maybe, just maybe, I’m actually Ruki, and he's Aoi… Ugh, my head!"

10 Jan: "By the way, I’m just playing around, trying to figure out what kind of approach would be interesting—like a sketch or something—so, sh-sh-sh-sh-sh, it's not hinting at a new release or anything!"

13 Jan (Taujan QT): "I’m sorry to bring up something personal, but I just want everyone to celebrate this with me. Hara-san turned one of the few genuinely straight feelings in my twisted heart into a new item. I’m heading to Hiroshima to get it stamped. 🫶"

19 Jan: "Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday dear myself Happy birthday to me ふぅ🎂🤧"

21 Jan: (*ﾟωﾟ)っ The drawings you all made were beautiful and super cool, and I was really happy. Thank you!"

26 Jan: "Recently, I occasionally get the urge to live deep in the mountains. I wonder if it's some kind of sign? 🤔 Nah, it's probably because I’ve been watching videos of people building cabins in the mountains on YouTube before bed. The sounds of chopping wood or digging the earth in the quiet help me sleep well, that's all. But while the guy looks satisfied making a bed out of wood, I’m thinking, 'No, it’s way too hard…'"

1 Feb: "Man, I was just thinking, 'Oh, it's still only 11:30,' and now the next moment is already here—time flies. For real. HBD RUKI 🎂 I’ll send him a message in the morning. 💌"

17 Feb: "There are only a few left, though there’s a slight chance some remain. by Nietzsche"

25 Feb: "By the way, this time the bear is a rabbit because it's the Year of the Rabbit. There's no twist, but I think it turned out looking cool and kinda like me, don't you think? 🤔 Oh, and by the way, the hood can’t be taken off, so if you try to pull it off forcefully, the brain will jiggle."

10 Mar: "Everyone is really good at drawing. I’m super grateful, really grateful. ┏○))"

15 Mar: "It seems like there's a camera around here somewhere... nichaa (grinning mischievously)"

16 Mar: "I tried to look cool and show off a bit. There's this book called Daimyo Tōsan (The Daimyo's Bankruptcy) that seems interesting—it’s a two-volume set. Since I’ve already got it, I’ll read it on my way to Tokyo."

27 Mar: "It's cloudy today. But I believe there is light ahead."

27 Mar: "Right? This band is so cool. Walking this path with them and all of our fans, I’ve never had a day where I didn’t want that to continue. During the MASS tour, I was so happy to enjoy it to the fullest again today. I can shine because the members are here, and you’re all by my side. I’ll continue to grow and return before you even better! Thank you again for today 😘."

27 Mar: "I selfishly hope you’ll witness who we are now. Precisely because we’ve been through so much, I want to share this space with you all, as a kind of turning point, and take steps toward the next future together. So, let’s meet at Nippon Budokan on July 15th! I’ll be waiting for you <3."

31 Mar: "I’ll let you in on a little secret: my headbanging masters are you band girls. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? All of you headbanging."

3 Apr: "I’M WAITING FOR YOU."

4 Apr: "I generously gave water to quench everyone’s thirsty (probably about now, I’d say) hearts, yet there aren’t enough likes. And now my heart has dried up. Oh no, should I cry now? glances"

6 Apr "Seeing Kai’s tweet made me wonder, what was I called again? Was it Aoi-sama⤴︎ぁ🫶 or something like that?"

8 Apr Uruha: "I missed the timing to post this during the tour, so here's a shot with REITA from Sendai that's been maturing in my folder for a while‼︎"

Reita QT: "Call me the guardian deity of Wi-Fi 😎."

10 Apr: "That thing on Ruki’s Instagram, it’s totally premium content. On one hand, I feel like you should accept it as a special discount service item, but honestly, I took an even better pose just before that. I bet it was so divine that Ruki thought your hearts wouldn’t be able to handle it. But still, I kind of want to break your hearts before Budokan."

10 Apr: Ruki 🫴

Aoi QT: "Good evening. It's VISUAL GOD."

10 Apr: "Ahh, sorry about that. While everyone’s excited before the show, we were just messing around backstage 💦 But once the show starts, we’ll shine like stars. I mean, a light that can’t be contained is a crime, right? 💁 On a different note, anyone who calls me Professor Snape is getting Sectumsempra’d. I haven’t seen a single movie, but it must be amazing, right?"

12 Apr Reita: "The correct answer is 'DECADE.' You all are amazing. Since there are so many correct answers, the rhythm section will give you a present 🎁."

12 Apr: "While I’ve been secretly practicing, the deadline for the super fast pre-sale is approaching. Worship me."

15 Apr "Lately, my morning routine has been waking up and checking Twitter for the GazettE-related topics, but this morning I came across something unpleasant, and even a Buddha like me couldn’t help but turn into a hannya. I guess there really are people out there with rotten hearts—I thought it was just an urban legend."

15 Apr "Since I am a Visual God, I’d prefer to avoid making statements like this, but since the opportunity has presented itself, I thought I’d make things clear. Anyway, that’s how it is. I truly want everyone to enjoy themselves, and we’ll do our utmost to make sure that happens. See you later ✋"

18 Apr "Thanks so much for all the applications for the fastest fan club pre-sale! I'll be pouring love into you on the day, so look forward to it 🤤"

25 Apr "I've opened a new door. I am satisfied 🫶"

28 Apr ‹‹\(´ω` )/››‹‹\( ´)/›› ‹‹\( ´ω`)/›› m9っ`･ω･´)＜OHAYO!!

11 May "Did you know that I’m the type who wants to be left alone but also wants to feel wanted?"

14 May "Today is Mother's Day, a day to give thanks to Mother Earth and the great oceans. Dedicate yourself to me 🕴"

22 May "This is an ad 💁I watch. You watch. We are friends 👯‍♀️"

25 May "It seems I’ve been away from here for two days. The human heart is fleeting, so maybe no one remembers me anymore. How sad."

26 May "Ngogogogogo… (The sound of the gods stepping down on the earth as they now prepare to rise)."

27 May "I’m planning to celebrate the 20th anniversary with you all again in the digital realm starting at 9 PM today. (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ Let’s get hyped!"

27 May "HBD MY BRO."

Uruha: "I’m really sorry for completely ignoring Aoi-san during the solo in REGRET! 🙇haha"

Aoi QT: "It’s okay. I’m used to it…"

27 May "I forgot, but I’m actually in the GazettE. Watching their videos, I realized again how cool they are, and now I’m feeling embarrassed about my previous tweets…"

9 Jun "HBD URUHA🎂"

14 Jun "I'm sure you're all lonely without me here, right?"

24 Jun "I don't really need it for live shows, but I ended up buying an amp♡"

5 July "Honestly, I can manage to do pretty much anything. The only thing I'm really bad at is probably love. July 5, 2023 - Cloudy the GazettE Aoi"

5 July: Uruha: "The first day of band rehearsal is over! I had a problem with the LCD display on my pedal not showing anything and I couldn't use the touch controls, but I guess it's just a scratch. 😭

Aoi QT: "A scratch can be a fatal wound, you know. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ Well, it’s quite sensitive."

12 July: "The string broke. That’s a bad omen. I thought a hannya was reflected in my phone as I typed this, but it was just me. Cursed."

16 July: "(It might seem random, but I want to leave here what I wanted to say on stage yesterday. Despite how I may seem, I’m actually the type to carefully draft my love letters to everyone multiple times.)"

"Everyone, thank you so much for coming today.

It’s been a little over two years since we released 'MASS.'

We've faced countless hardships, but thanks to being able to perform live so many times and receiving energy from all of you each time, we've safely made it to this stage today.

When what was 'normal' was no longer normal, we wanted to respond to the feelings of everyone who still came out to see us. So, we approached each performance with even more dedication and care than before. Through this process, I discovered my own potential and the band's possibilities, and I've come to realize that you all are more important to us than ever.

To carry forward the discoveries and the important connections that 'MASS' has brought to us, we want to keep moving forward, step by step, steadily.

I want to do more with all of you and see new sights together. That’s how I’m feeling right now.

Thank you so much for today. Please enjoy yourselves to the fullest until the very end!"

19 Sep "I left my youth at Nippon Budokan on July 15th, and now there’s a void in my heart. Back then, my hair only reached my shoulders, but now it’s grown long enough to use it as a jump rope. I’d love to do MASS tour again."

23 Nov "I’m guessing that by now, everyone’s starting to feel a bit starved of the GazettE."

24 Nov "Good morning. I'm glad I was able to go for a ride before things get really busy. The weather feels great ☀︎"

14 Dec Uruha: My AirPods Pro Max broke, so I came to get them repaired. It looks like it’s going to take a while to fix… When did they become the number one thing that would be a pain if it broke?

Aoi QT: For me number one thing is the bond with the fans and the members, but it's different for Uru-pon? 🥺

Uruha QT: "Our bond should be fine, if you are calling me Uru-pon. Lol"

[mazegays]

could've followed my fears all the way down

Chapters: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31

Chapter 30

Thomas’s nerves are almost cute, if they weren’t so worrying. He’s more than willing to hold their hands in public, if he doesn’t have the sling on, but he’s clearly fretting over everything else.

“Do you think he knows we want to kiss him?” Gally asks when Thomas is laughing with Sonya across the fire.

“I think that’s the problem.” Minho watches Thomas’s face.

“What, he doesn’t want to kiss us?”

“More like he’s not sure how.” Minho’s pretty sure Thomas kissed Teresa a few times, and maybe Brenda, but he doesn’t know. It’s not exactly the kind of thing Thomas would have told him about. He doesn’t really want Thomas to tell him about it.

“It’s kissing, it’s not that hard.” Gally scoffs a little.

“Just because we had sex in the Glade doesn’t mean he did.” Minho points out, and he can see when that clicks for Gally.

“We have to talk about feelings again, don’t we?”

When did Minho become the one who knows that first?

… Actually, he doesn’t want an answer to that. 

“Yeah.”

“Thomas wants to go into the forest.” Gally changes the subject.

“No.” It hasn’t been that long since he had a panic attack sitting under one tree, he’s not allowed to go into the forest.

finish on ao3 or continue reading - if you like the fic, please reblog!!

“He’s been talking about it all week. He keeps creating signs for it while he’s teaching me. He wants to go together, but not for long.”

This is a fight Minho’s going to lose, he already knows it. Gally looks like he’s ready to say yes, he probably offered to tell him so Thomas wouldn’t have to.

“Why? He can hardly look at it without panicking.”

“He thinks he needs to get over it. I know he’s said something to Sonya. I think he’ll just follow her in if we don’t go.”

“Well, at least he’s not planning on going alone.” 

“So we’re doing it, then?”

“Maybe this is something we should talk to Jamie about— together, not individually.” is what Minho settles on saying, because he really doesn’t know.. He hates the idea, he doesn’t want Thomas anywhere near that forest and he thinks it’s going to end very badly.

But Thomas is a stubborn shank whose two settings of ‘dealing with things’ involve ignoring them or charging into them headfirst.

“Why Jamie?”

“Because she might be able to explain why it would be helpful, or why it’s a really bad idea and we shouldn’t do it. I know he talks to her about it one-on-one, but for something we do together we need to talk to her together.”

“He’s been a lot better lately, Minho. He’s been able to eat more, he’s sitting near the tree right now and not panicking, the sling is just about off for good. If he wants to try this, why wouldn’t we help him?”

“I’m not saying we wouldn’t,” he pauses, trying to get his thoughts together. “I’m worried, Gally. If this is too much, too soon, it could be bad.”

The two weeks of nearly entirely signing after the initial tree panic attack prove that very well. Sure, it’s better now, but only signing all the time and having to rely on Minho and Frypan to translate frustrates Thomas.

He likes to get his point across, and since no one had known about their sign language before, no one had learned it.

“What else are we supposed to do, make him feel like he has to be afraid of the forest for the rest of his life?” Gally’s worried too, he can tell— and not just about Thomas. “Minho, you want to protect him, we both do. He doesn’t want to be protected from this.”

And the little kids don’t want to be protected from running into the fire pits, but that doesn’t mean it should be allowed.

“That’s different, Min. The little kids don’t know better. We’re all nearly adults, might as well be, with what we’ve been through. Thomas has talked to Jamie about this, he’s been thinking about it for a while. He knows it might be a bad idea.”

“I still think it’s a bad idea.” Minho crosses his arms over his chest, but he knows Gally is right. “I still want all three of us to sit down and actually talk about it, with Jamie or not.”

It probably won’t be for a very long time, maybe less than an hour at first, but he wants to be prepared for everything.

Maybe Thomas will step into the forest and realize he’s not scared of it at all now. Great! Probably not going to happen, but great.

Maybe he’ll immediately have a panic attack. Also probably not the most likely option, not now that he’s actually been working though it with Jamie.

No, they’ll go in, fit a spot, sit and talk for a while. Thomas’s anxiety will build to the point where he can’t keep it hidden anymore, and they’ll leave before it gets worse.

Thomas will want to do it again, so they’ll go back until he’s happy with how long it takes for him to reach peak anxiety levels.

Minho doesn’t want him to do that to himself.

“Gally, this is going to take forever.” Minho realizes. “He’s going to want to keep going back until he can be in there for hours, if not days, without panicking.”

“So we’ll go with him, every time.” Gally says, like it’s as easy as that. “Until he’s okay with it.”

They can do that. Even though Minho’s going to hate every minute of it.

They can’t do this.

They’ve been taking it very slowly with the exposure therapy, as Jamie calls it. Once a week at most, for a few minutes at a time, a little longer each week.

Minho really wishes Thomas would wait.

This is the fifth week, and it’s been twenty minutes. Thomas is shaking already, but he doesn’t want to leave.

He never wants to leave.

“Minho, if he thinks he can handle it, let him.” Gally pulls him back a little. “He wants to try. We have to let him.”

“He’s shaking, Gally.”

“It’s cold. He’s a dumbass wearing shorts and a t-shirt.” Gally raises his voice a little, so Thomas can hear him teasing. Thomas glances back at them and rolls his eyes.

He looks… okay. He’s shaking, but his face is relaxed, not like he’s scared at all.

Maybe it’s not that bad.

“Who do you think is out hunting today?”

“It’s Rosa’s group’s turn!” Thomas calls back. He moves back to stand by them, leaning into Gally’s side.

Gally is kind of their personal space heater sometimes. He complains about it, but Minho knows he doesn’t really care.

“What do you think they’ll find?”

“I don’t know. I saw a moose.”

They’ve heard that a million times. Thomas wants to take them out to see it, but even Jamie, as encouraging as she is about him wanting to learn how to not be afraid of the forest anymore, has nipped that in the bud.

No week-long trips into the forest for a long time for them.

Minho’s okay with that. He doesn’t really like it here either, what with the tree falling on them and everything.

Wait, is Thomas trying to get them over their lingering fears of the forest too?

Damn.

That’s more tricky than he thought Thomas would pull on them.

(Other people, absolutely. Them? Thomas isn’t supposed to do it to them. But that’s Thomas for you. )

“Minho, you’re the one overthinking things now.” Thomas pokes him lightly. He’s smiling faintly when Minho looks over at him.

“So what if I am, shuckface? You don’t have a monopoly on overthinking things.”

“No, but it’s a little weird to watch someone else do it.”

“Then don’t look at me, I guess.”

“Where’s the fun in not looking at you?” Thomas pouts, exaggerated. “Gally, can I share your jacket?”

“I should tell you no, because you’re the dumbass here. But yes.” Minho can’t help but laugh at them as they try to figure out how to get arranged so Thomas will actually be warm without smothering him.

“Are you sure you don’t want help?”

“We’ll figure it out, thanks though, Minho.” Thomas answers, focused on the task at hand.

It’s hard not to laugh a little at Thomas as he tries to squeeze into Gally’s jacket. He’s biting his lip, completely focused, and he’s not thinking about being in the forest at all.

Minho’s laughing too, and his shoulders have dropped a little. He won’t say anything, but he doesn’t like the forest too much either.

If Gally could freeze time, this is one of the spots he’d do it in. Just linger here, in this moment, where they’re all laughing and joking around, despite everything. 

Despite the fact that he knows Thomas chose this spot because it’s not far from where Harriet found him.

He doesn’t want to be anywhere where they’re not happy, not again. They don’t need more sadness in their lives.

“Gally, you’re not even trying to help!” Thomas complains, pouting at him.

“I think it’s hopeless, Thomas. You can have my jacket instead.” Minho throws an arm around Thomas’s shoulders.

“But Gally’s already warm.” 

“And I’m not?” Thomas pulls away a little, just enough to put Minho’s jacket on. Gally’s not expecting him to grab his hand as he steps back.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for the day.” Thomas says.

“You’re feeling okay?” Minho asks, dropping the smile.

“I feel fine, but I’m cold. I want to bully you two into building a fire in the cabin and sit in bed all day and read.”

“Just for that, you can bring in all the wood from outside in your shorts and t-shirt.” he threatens, but he already knows he won’t go through it.

“And maybe I wanted to sit in bed and read. What are you going to do then?” Minho’s hand brushes his arm lightly. Gally can’t tell if it’s intentional or not.

“Read things out loud to you? Then you’ll fall asleep and I can read whatever I want.” Thomas raises his eyebrows at Minho, like it should be obvious.

“What if I want to read something, Thomas?”

“You don’t care what I read, as long as I read it out loud.” Thomas squeezes his hand softly, and. Yeah. It’s true. He doesn’t care.

He’s not much of a reader on his own, anyway. It’s just better when Thomas reads to him. Or Minho, on the rare occasion he decides that it’s his turn.

“So, a fire, reading, and cuddles? Sounds like a good day to me.”

“We can’t forget lunch.”

“I guess you can go and get it for us then, Minho. Thanks for offering!” Thomas manages to say it with a straight face, like Gally’s not cracking up next to him.

“That was not an offer, shuckface. That was a reminder that we need to eat.”

“Sounded like an offer to me, Minho.” Gally’s still grinning, which ruins the effect a little.

“The both of you? Really? I guess if all I’m good for is getting lunch I might as well leave you both!” Minho plays into the part, hand on his chest and everything.

“You’re the one who’s not letting go of me, so if you want to do that, then you can.”

“Yeah, Minho, if you’re really going to leave you have to let go of Thomas first.”

“He’s got my jacket!”

“You can let go of me and get your jacket back.”

“Well, maybe I will!”

He doesn’t, though, and Gally knows he never even considered it.

“Or maybe I’ll just get my jacket back later.”

“You can’t get it back if you can’t find it.” Thomas teases, smiling properly now. “Hey, Gally, cover me?”

“Yeah, of course.” He grabs Minho’s arm where it’s around Thomas’s shoulders, holding him just tightly enough that he can’t get away easily, while Thomas jogs ahead, eventually turning backwards to face them.

“Even if you hide it, I’ll still find it, Thomas!” Minho calls. “Gally, let go of my arm.”

“Are you going to chase him? Because I told him I wouldn’t let you do that.”

“No, but can’t I hold your hand instead, shank?”

“Oh.” Gally slides his hand down Minho’s arm, lacing their fingers together. Thomas has stopped ahead of them, kneeling to look at some plants.

“What are those, Thomas?” he asks when they get a little closer.

“Berries. I don’t think they’re edible though, we don’t have any in the greenhouse.” Thomas shakes his head a little.

His hair’s getting long. Maybe Gally should offer to cut it.

Or not. It might be a nice change.

Gally has to fight to keep his face straight, but Minho’s nudge tells him that he’s not entirely successful on that front.

<- 29 31 ->

[screamsortega]

smut prompts;

01. “i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

02. “how badly do you want me?”

03. “i just cannot get enough of you.”

04. “looks like someone is jealous.”

05. “better keep quiet, there’s people just outside the door.”

06. “just say you want me, and i’m all yours.”

07. “show me just how much you’ve missed me.”

08. “you know you love me.”

09. “it’s hot when you talk back”

10. “if you called just to get off at my voice, i’m hanging up.”

11. “you look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.”

12. “bend over the desk, baby.”

13. “i haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already this wet?”

14. “stop distracting me.”

15. “take it off, slowly.”

16. “what do you think your punishment should be?”

17. “do that again, i dare you.”

18. “sit on my face.”

19. “i love it when you moan my name.”

20. “let me give you a reason to stay in bed.”

21. “prove to me that you deserve my tongue.”

22. “no panties? you dirty girl”

23. “you can get louder, if you want.”

24. “if you want to cum then you better start begging.”

25. “you don’t know how much i want to fuck you against that window just so people would see who you belong too.”

26. “my thoughts about you aren’t really appropriate.”

27. “i thought i told you to stay still?”

28. “come one, be a good girl and spread your legs.”

29. “focus, only on me.”

30. “who do you belong to?”

31. “show me how you pleasure yourself.”

32. “you know, it’s really distracting when you do that.”

33. “you look so good on your knees.”

34. “well, what do we have here? someone must’ve gotten impatient and decided to touch theirselves.”

35. “i’m not going to let you cum, i don’t care how much you beg.”

36. “i promise you this, when we get home i’m going to tear off those clothes of yours and fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to function tomorrow.”

37. “i want to fuck you in front of a mirror so you’ll see how good you take it.”

38. “does it feel good when i touch you like this?”

39. “you talk too much, maybe if i shove my dick in your mouth maybe you’ll shut up.

40. “oh, i’m not done with you, get back here.”

41. “you wanna cum? have you earned it yet?”

42. “aw, out of breath already? did i go too fast, baby?”

43. “don’t be shy, come and taste me.”

44. “be a good girl and take it.”

45. “you heard me, take it off.”

46. “i wasn’t expecting you to be this tight.”

47. “i’m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll forget your own name.”

48. “like what you see?”

49. “i don’t care how good it feels, you better not cum until i tell you to.”

50. “i love the sounds you make once you come undone.”

51. “just relax, let me do all the work.”

52. “touch yourself, i want to watch.”

53. “need some help?”

54. “i know it hurts, but be a good girl and take it.”

55. “do you have any toys?”

56. “better watch that mouth of yours if you want to cum.”

57. “where do you want it?”

58. “i didn’t know someone could cum that fast just from a few fingers.”

59. “that’s right baby, scream my name, let everyone know who this pussy belongs to.”

60. “you’re so needy.”

61. “swallow, all of it.”

62. “you wanna act like a slut? then you’ll get treated like a slut.”

63. “i’ve barely touched you and you’re already shaking.”

64. “i love it when you beg.”

65. “come sit on my lap.”

66. “don’t even think about cumming yet.”

67. “so, i hear that you’re into pain?”

68. “be a good girl and swallow for me.”

69. “you better keep the volume down or i’ll go even harder.”

70. “i’m feeling a bit greedy today.”

71. “clothes off, now.”

72. “your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t need to know about this, okay?”

73. “you better not touch yourself while i’m gone.”

74. “i’m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll forget about him/her.”

75. “i never knew you liked to be spanked.”

76. “use your words, baby.”

77. “i bet i can make you cum without even touching you.”

78. “i want to kiss every square inch of your body.”

79. “is that gonna fit?” | “i’ll make it fit.”

80. “all day i’ve been thinking about how good it would feel to have your head between my thighs.”

81. “but there’s people-” | “i don’t care, let them watch.”

82. “you look so pretty when you cry.”

authors note;

send a request with a character + smut prompt number (if you want to use a prompt)

also, i will probably add more prompts here and there.

[brittababbles]

House of the Dragon S2e1: blow by blow reaction on second watch

Spoilers beyond this point

1. I love the tapestry opening. Very reminiscent of GoT’s maps.

1a. Matt Smith gets top billing, huh? Interesting choice.

2. Ah Winterfell, and the Wall. And a nice thick northern accent doing voiceover. Is it weird that I can smell Winterfell? I’ve missed this place.

3. :( sweet Jace seems to be having a nice time in the North. Enjoy while you can, sweet boy. Though he’s got to be freezing at the Wall.

4. What does it keep out? Don’t worry about it, Jace. It doesn’t matter right now. That’s a different series entirely.

5. Jace looks hauntingly like Jon Snow when he’s standing on the wall and I Don’t Like It

6. Rhaenys not taking Daemon’s shit makes my soul less unhappy. She’s all “hey daemon remember how you let my daughter die? This is like that.”

7. In fairness, Daemon isn’t wrong.

8. “Would that you were the king” gods be good, Rhaenys. We’d all be dead

9. I have nothing to add about Rhaenyra in the Stormlands. The entirety of it is just beautiful and sorrowful.

9. Why are we still talking about the Stepstones? That was soooo last season, Corlys.

10. Who is this burly handsome fellow chatting with Corlys? He’s delightful. Dragging bodies out of the sea! Wowweee 😍

11. Dude if you can see her from that far out, that dragon is Vhagar. Chill.

12. Aegon seems to at least like his children. And Helaena, at least on some level.

13. “The rats” oh my sweet girl.

14. So. How long have you and Cole been doing this, Alicient? More than once? Is he your whore, perhaps?

15. But also why do you have to stop? You’re a widow. You can do what you want.

16. CHEESE?!

16a. And Cheese’s dog, whom I adore.

17. Aegon is… so bad at this being king thing. Just so bad at it and it’s weirdly endearing. Also little Jaehaerys? So sweet. Poor thing.

18. I love how nobody likes Tyland Lannister. I don’t like Tyland Lannister.

19. Aemond!

19a. Does Aemond straighten his hair or is it just like that?

20. I forgot about Otto Hightower. And Larys Strong. I am happier having forgotten them and shall continue to do so.

21. Larys knows you been fucking the lord commander, Alicent. And he’s spying on you. And he’s still the creepiest guy in a series that casually accepts incest as the norm.

22. Syrax is my second, maybe third favorite of the dragons and I have missed her.

23. Rhaenyra my Queen. My gods this was tragic. Daemon is right: she shouldn’t have done this alone. I’m glad at least Syrax is with her

24. “Aegon the Magnanimous” wh wh what 😂

25. You’re so bad at this Aegon. But I guess at least you’re earnest about it. Aegon the Frat Boy is too on point, I suppose.

26. You know, I don’t like Otto, but honestly. Bless his heart for herding his grandson through King-hood is painful to watch.

27. In retrospect, the odd shots of the castle make sense. This whole episode foreshadows the end of it with these weird, creeping shots of the Red Keep, particularly in the halls and through the railways.

28. I see that nobody in Aemond’s family understands him at all. Except maybe Daemon.

29. Oh that’s not someone knocking on the door. That’s the drums of the soundtrack. Heh.

30. Baby goats!

31. Mysyria is… not my favorite. But she does have a thorough understanding of Daemon that Rhaenyra seems to sometimes lack.

32. Whoa. Damn, Daemon. Easy now. Don’t break the table.

33. Syrax is back! Hi Syrax!

34. Aw, that Targaryen forehead touch.

35. “I want Aemond Targaryen” I feel like that’s a common feeling toward him, for better or worse, Rhaenyra. Just based on fanfic results alone.

36. Daemon I know where this plan ends and I don’t like it.

37. Jace! Mama Rhaenyra! Oh Jace is trying so hard to be brave for his Queen.

38. I’ve seen a lot of people raving against this sequence in the Sept but I really liked it. Alicent did not mean for Luke to die and I do think she still cares for Rhaenyra. Her childhood friend lost a son, and to pray for peace for a dead child is not something that should be shamed. Also on a cinematography level, the candlelight vs the pyre flames was gorgeous.

39. Little Joffrey is breaking my heart.

40. I spent a solid ten seconds trying to work out why Aemond was screwing around in Blackwater Bay because I assumed he had taken over the Cloak of Crime. But no! It’s Daemon! Again!

41. Ehhhh Blood and Cheese and I just don’t like it. Cheese is just gross.

42. Interesting departure. Daemon orders Aemond’s death.

43. Speaking of whom. Aemond is… odd. He isn’t wrong, but he overestimates himself. But then he’s not entirely wrong. His mother’s fondness for Rhaenyra could be seen as a weakness. Though he certainly is playing his own hand here.

44. Ah the “cunning spider” line from Cole that is just a hilarious projection.

45. Does Aemond not have to get up when Otto walks in the room?

46. No Otto. Vhagar is the greatest single power in the realm. Aemond is but a fly on her back.

47. Cheese’s dog looks so much like my dog and I am so upset about it.

48. So… y’all are just going to waltz across the throne room and nobody will notice? That’s… fine?

49. Loyal as a hound, eh?

50. I hold with Aegon the Frat Boy as his title.

51 Uh, you go up the stairs to get upstairs, Blood. That’s how upstairs usually works.

52. DON’T KICK THE DOG!!! 😫😫😫

53. So… Daemon told them that if they can’t find Aemond they should just… improvise? Any male’s head will do? That’s not what Rhaenyra said at all.

54. Why are they just wandering around the castle unchecked? This just doesn’t make sense

55. I really wanted to see a bit more from Helaena here. Some pleading, some begging, some bargaining, maybe. I know she’s probably shutting down emotionally, and Phia’s face shows terror - and guilt - very well. But this whole scene is just so odd. But, I do think there is something genuine about this performance

56. “They killed the boy” she’s in shock. This part didn’t feel at all out of place for the Helaena we’ve seen on screen.

57. And that’s it. What a strange episode.

[mrchiipchrome]

So here are some prompts from songs that I've got ideas around, feel free to request blurbs for whoever:)

----------

1. -Honestly I’m better as your boy, I’d be kinda shitty as your man. Let’s go back to only being friends.

2. -I don’t wanna fall in love, -No?, -No.

3.  -Oh…I got way too attached, -That wasn’t the plan?, -No

4. Where’d all the time go?

5. -Time to get out, I don’t want you around.

6. -I couldn’t see you the way you saw me.

7. -I tried my best to be worth all your while, -You just gotta let me go.

8. -Loving you was a hazard, so I got my heart a helmet.

9. -You like the pretty girl, with the pretty voice?

10. -She might let you stay, but just for the night.

11. -Oh I’m down on my hands and knees, begging you please, baby.

12. -You’re making me crazy.

13. -I’m feeling so tired, really falling apart.

14. -It just doesn’t make sense to me, why you’d stick right next to me, wherever I go.

15. -I feel the way you’re looking at me through my peripherals.

16. -Next thing I know she was feeling on me.

17. -I just hope you don’t wanna leave me…

18. -Only I belong with you and only you darling.

19. -I think of her so much it drives me crazy.

20. - I hope you find peace for yourself, -New girlfriend ain’t gonna fill the void.

21. -I went to hell and back, just to find peace.

22. -I can’t describe what I’m feeling.

23. -I don’t care how long it takes, as long as I’m with you I’ve got a smile on my face.

24. -Save your tears

25. -It will be okay, as long as you’re here with me.

26. -I wish I could live through every memory again.

27. -So, can I call you tonight?

28.-She looks just like a dream.

29. It’s just like seeing her for the first time, again.

30. -Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

31. -I’d rather lose somebody than use somebody.

32. -It’s you and me, always forever.

33. -...is the girl that I wanna kiss.

34. -You know I get so forgetful looking in her eyes.

35. -There’s nothing to keep you from falling in love.

36. -Cause all of the small things that you do, are what reminds me why I fell for you.

37. -Don’t forget to kiss me.

38. -I might need you or I’ll break.

39. -I act like I don’t care

40. -I bet you wish that I was still right there.

41. -I think I like you best when you’re just with me and no one else.

42. -No one can save me but you.

43. -You never felt this way?

44. -I’d never dreamed that I’d love someone like you.

45. -Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you.

46. -I can feel your body move.

47. -I want you here with me, from tonight until the end of time.

48. -You’re just too good to be true, I can’t take my eyes off of you.

49. -You’d be like heaven to touch.

50. -Please let me know that it’s real.

51. -I wanna feel you in my arms again.

52. -You’re the light in the deepest, darkest hour.

53. -There goes my baby.

54. -I’ll never deserve you 

55. -Just hold me now

56. -What do you say when words are not enough?

57. -It feels like you don’t care

58. -No, not a single tear

59. -Tell me what you heard

60. -A pretty face with some cute lips.

61. -So kiss me once and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again.

62. -It’s been a long time.

63. -When you kiss me, heaven sighs.

64. -When you press me to your heart, oh I’m in a world apart.

65. -Give your heart and soul to me.

66. -I’m in heaven.

67. -I want my arms around you.

68. -It’s nice to have you back, where you belong.

69. -The band is playing, -One of our old favorite songs.

70. -Leave your worries on the doorstep my dear.

71. -Life can be sweet.

72. -Oh I’m on the sunny side of the street.

73. Stars shining bright above you.

74. -Dream a little dream of me.

75. -Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me.

76. -Promise to me, you’ll dream.

77. -We may never, never meet again.

78. -Oh when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.

79. When I saw you last night and got that old feeling.

80. -When you caught my eye, my heart stood still.

81. -Give me a kiss to build a dream on.

82. -Oh, give me your lips just for a moment.

83. -Wherever you’re going, I’m going the same way.

84. -We have all the time in the world.

85. -Give me your kisses, I’ll give you my heart.

86. -Give me the right to call you all mine.

87. -Though we’re apart, you’re part of me still.

88. -You came, -You saw?, -Oh you conquered me.

89. -Fantastic? Oh that’s you.

90. -I still get jealous.

91. -All my wildest dreams come true, -When I’m near you?

92. -Love makes me treat you the way that I do.

93. -You’re afraid each thing I do, -Is just some evil scheme?

94. -Why can’t I free your doubtful mind, and melt your cold cold heart?

95. -Pardon the smile on my face dear.

96. -Your lips are as warm and sweet as wine.

97. -I’ll keep you safe.

98. -For I can’t help falling in love with you.

99. -My heart is yours.

100. Bound to falling in love.

101. -I knew a girl just like you once.

102. -I'll always look out for you.

103. -I won't let you down.

104. -One day it'll all make sense.

105. -For you, I'd bleed myself dry.

106. -Baby, you’re the best.

107. -I haven’t seen you in a long time.

108. -I gave it all for a fantasy.

109. -I'll love you better if you let me.

110. -I'll love you forever.

111. -My heart is a broken mess

112. -Are you honest?

113. -I’ll take you just the way you are.

114. -You’ll always have my unspoken passion.

115. -I hope no one catch us, -But I kinda hope they catch us

116. -Baby you’re all mine.

117. -Maybe it couldn’t work out in the end.

118. -I know you want me.

119. -I’ve been getting mixed signals.

120. -I’m just trying to get closure.

121. -I know she’s a loser.

122. -Is it wrong?, -Is it right?

123. -Nobody does it like you do.

124. -You’ve begun to feel like home.

125. -I’ll be right here.

126. -I've been trying to get you out the friend zone.

127. -Baby, am I your little secret?

128. -And I guess I’ll just miss her, even though she isn’t even really gone…things are just different.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 5

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.2k 

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N:  Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

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(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.

(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x

(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha

(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.

(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x

(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x

(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x

•••

(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.

(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!

(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x

(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x

(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.

(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?

(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...

(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?

(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?

(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...

(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx

(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx

(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x

(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.

(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x

(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.

(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x

(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx

(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx

•••

(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!

(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!

(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*

(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!

(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.

(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.

(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?

(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.

(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x

(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.

(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?

(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha

(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x

(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x

(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x

(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x

(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx

(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)

(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx

•••

(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!

(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx

(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x

(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx

(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((

(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x

(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)

(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx

•••

(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx

(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!

(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?

(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x

(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx

(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!

(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx

(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).

(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).

(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!

(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*

(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA

(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x

(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx

(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha

(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx

(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx

(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx

(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?

(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x

(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x

(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x

(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx

(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx

•••

(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.

(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...

(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.

(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x

(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x

(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!

(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.

(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx

(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx

(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx

Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.

A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.

His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"

She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"

He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."

"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.

"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.

Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"

His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."

"But–"

He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."

She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"

She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."

He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."

Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."

"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.

She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."

He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"

Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."

A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."

She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."

"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."

With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."

He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."

Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."

"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.

"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.

"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."

She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."

"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."

Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."

The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.

"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.

She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.

Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."

"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.

The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"

"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."

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Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.

It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.

(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.

(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...

(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.

(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx

(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.

(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?

(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)

(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.

(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.

(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.

(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x

(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x

(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x

•••

(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx

(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x

(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x

(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x

To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.

She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.

The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.

"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.

Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."

She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.

"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.

Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."

After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.

The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.

Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"

They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.

"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.

Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."

She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.

She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.

They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.

It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.

Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.

After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.

"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."

Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.

They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.

Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.

Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.

"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.

Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.

Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"

They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.

Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.

With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.

"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.

A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."

"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.

"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.

"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.

"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."

Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"

"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.

He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."

"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.

Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."

She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."

He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."

He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"

"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.

Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.

When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.

"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.

"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.

"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."

He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."

"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.

Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.

Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.

It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.

When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.

Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.

"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.

And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.

After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.

Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.

"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.

He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."

"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.

He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."

Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."

She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."

His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"

She winked, "You know it."

Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.

Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"

Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."

And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."

She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.

The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"

She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.

Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."

The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"

"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.

Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.

He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.

"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.

"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.

Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."

In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.

The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.

It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.

The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.

Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.

Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.

It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.

She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.

A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.

"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."

Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."

"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.

He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."

She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.

Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."

Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.

And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.

Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.

"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.

As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."

"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.

Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.

She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"

Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.

Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."

Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."

"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.

Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had been right.

She had it all imprinted in her mind.

Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.

Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.

Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.

Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.

Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.

She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.

They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.

That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.

Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.

Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.

She shivered just thinking about it.

Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.

Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.

Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.

Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.

She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.

He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.

"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.

They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.

When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."

He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."

She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"

Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."

"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.

Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.

Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."

Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.

The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.

Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.

Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."

"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.

"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.

"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."

The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."

She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."

"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.

Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.

The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.

His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."

He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.

Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"

She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.

Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."

"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.

Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.

"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.

He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."

She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.

It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.

Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.

Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.

The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.

The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.

"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.

He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.

She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.

A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.

Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."

His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."

But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."

"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.

Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.

Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.

The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.

Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.

"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.

He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."

"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.

"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."

Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."

She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"

He nodded, "Way longer."

"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.

He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."

She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."

Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.

Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.

They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.

It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.

"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.

Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"

He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"

She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."

Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.

"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.

She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.

The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.

Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.

Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.

She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.

The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.

Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.

There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.

Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"

He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.

She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."

Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.

"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.

He smirked, "Definitely."

And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.

He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.

Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.

She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.

He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.

Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."

He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."

And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.

Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."

"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.

Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.

In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."

She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"

The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.

The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"

In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.

"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.

They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.

"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.

"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.

And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.

He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.

"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.

His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."

She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."

When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.

"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."

He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.

They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.

Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.

It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.

He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.

She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.

He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."

Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.

With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.

She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.

Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.

"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.

Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"

"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.

The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.

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After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.

Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.

Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.

It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.

He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.

"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"

She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.

"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."

She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"

He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.

When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."

She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."

His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.

She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."

And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.

That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.

It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.

They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.

After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.

Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.

It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.

"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.

She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."

Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"

She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"

Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.

"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."

She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.

"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."

Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"

Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.

"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."

Jamie whistled, "Mental."

Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"

"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."

Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."

"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.

Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"

"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.

"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.

"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.

But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"

When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.

"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.

She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.

Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."

"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.

But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."

She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.

He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.

Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.

Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."

Nick followed, "Naughty!"

And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."

She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."

Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.

"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.

"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."

As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.

She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.

After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.

Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.

He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.

She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.

That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.

"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.

Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.

He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.

She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.

And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.

When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.

The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.

Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.

When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.

She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.

He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.

She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.

So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.

The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.

Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.

When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.

Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.

After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.

When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.

First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.

As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.

After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.

She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.

Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.

Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.

By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.

"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.

Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.

"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.

"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.

Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.

Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.

As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.

"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.

She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."

It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"

"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."

Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."

Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.

Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.

Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.

She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.

They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.

Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.

It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.

Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.

She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.

She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.

Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.

It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.

The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.

They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.

"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"

Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.

She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.

He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.

Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.

"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.

She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."

Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"

She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."

And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.

Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.

She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.

When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.

She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.

'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'

It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.

The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.

And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.

In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.

She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.

By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.

Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.

"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.

Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"

"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.

The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.

Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."

Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."

"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"

Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."

"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.

The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.

Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.

It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.

Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.

(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.

(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()

(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)

(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...

(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx

(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx

Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.

Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."

Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.

Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.

But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

read at 23:41

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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx

Taglist:  @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​

[bloodied-dagger]

1-70 then

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, sure. Although my dad’s a transphobe and they’re both Trump supporters who eat whatever fox n Facebook (respectively) serve them so. I’d say it’s more mediocre

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? no idea

03: Do you regret anything? yeah a shit ton of… well, shit

04: Are you insecure? Yes, definitely

05: What is your relationship status? single taken, surprisingly

06: How do you want to die? painlessly

07: What did you last eat? String cheese

08: Played any sports? marching band currently (it’s a sport imo) and I used to play baseball and soccer as a tiny child

09: Do you bite your nails? yea

10: When was your last physical fight? never got in one

11: Do you like someone? yea

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? don’t think so

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? hate’s a bit of a strong word, isn’t it?

14: Do you miss someone? used to definitely still do

15: Have any pets? my dog, who Tommy says “looks like she skipped leg day and is depressed about it”

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Not Good™ Alright, although these old responses are kinda bumming me out. I suppose that life, rat

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

18: Are you scared of spiders? not really, but I’m not the most fond of them

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes. All the yes. So much yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? once again, wouldn’t you like to know?

21: What are your plans for this weekend? rest, and probably feel bad that I’m not cleaning play dnd with some friends. If anything major happens btw, that’s why.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? No, fuck that

23: Do you have piercings? How many? none

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Uh, band technically. Got a 115% in it

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? from like, a long time ago? Not really. Within the past year tho? Yea

26: What are you craving right now? Whole lotta nothing

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes technically I think

28: Have you ever been cheated on? nope

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? N/A nope

30: What’s irritating you right now? nothing and I hope to keep it that way the original formatting of these 70 questions (why is it so small?)

31: Does somebody love you? I certainly hope so

32: What is your favourite color? Blue

33: Do you have trust issues? uhhhhhhhh maybe

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Great question

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? uhhhhhhhh probably my parents when I was like 9 or something

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? maybe?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? forget

38: Is this year the best year of your life? no clue

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? yeah actually

51: Favourite food? Wings

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Not really

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? your mom

54: Is cheating ever okay? if they cheated first then I see not problem with cheating back. But honestly I would just end the relationship, revenge is unnecessary

55: Are you mean? yes, I think

56: How many people have you fist fought? none

57: Do you believe in true love? like, pre destined? Nah

58: Favourite weather? rain and thunder

59: Do you like the snow? not really

60: Do you wanna get married? not sure really

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? My brain would malfunction /pos I think if my girlfriend called me that. But to be completely honest I don’t know if I’d actually enjoy being called that on a regular basis

62: What makes you happy? That’s a long and short list I don’t feel like typing

63: Would you change your name? Already have, but not legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ohhhhhhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? So funny thing about that… yeah turns out she did like me. I liked her so uh yeah now we’re dating

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yup

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My teacher

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? dunno. Probably Kyndyr

69: Do you believe in soulmates? nope

70: Is there anyone you would die for? plenty

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 59. brb x oc

a/n: the revenge is coming. and boy i hope you guys like it :)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: Rooster has doubts :( but Bea is there for him!

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44/45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

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-

Beatrice knows something is bothering him by the way he’s acting, he got home and greeted her, Nikki and the dogs as he usually did, he acted as normal at the bar but she knew. She knew something was bothering him too much because Rooster kept running his thumb and forefinger over the length of his mustache. 

And that was a telltale sign that something bothered him. So after work and after getting Nicole from her parents, Beatrice watched her husband lying on the bed with one of his hands on his six pack and the other still brushing over his mustache as she rubbed lotion on her arms. She frowned, turning the bathroom light off and padding her way towards him, “Roos.” she calls and he slows the hand movement down until his hand touches his chin as if he was caught in the act. 

She slowly crawls on his lap and leans down so her arms are folded atop of his chest, the hand on his stomach immediately coming up to touch her midriff. She tilts her head to the side just enough to rest her cheek on her bicep, “Do you wanna share what’s bothering you?” she asks, “Is it the deployment everyone talked about except for you?” 

He groans, the hand on his chin coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “...yeah.” he chuckles weakly, “Guess it is.” 

“Well, what’s bothering you about it?” he hesitates and the fingers on her waist drum against her skin with uneasiness, “Roos, please.” 

He sighs, digging his head deeper into the pillow, “I…well, first, the idea of leaving you and Nikki alone terrify me. Second, we won’t be able to celebrate our anniversary.” he frowns, “And maybe not even Halloween.” 

Beatrice, the angel that she was, just smiles down at him, unfolding her arms to hold her head up with a hand and gently run her finger down the scars on his chin with the other, “You are just so sweet,Roos. Do you have any idea of how much?” he just gives her a look and she knows he’s not really believing her, “Okay, let’s talk about this, hm? You are upset you’ll have to leave again and you don’t want to leave me and Nikki and you are worried about us.” 

His jaw moves as if he wants to speak but no words come out, he just leans into Beatrice’s touch against his cheek, her thumb rubbing under his eye, “Is there something else bothering you?” 

“...I guess.” 

“I’m all ears.” she smiles, “If you wanna share.” 

Bradley turns his head to kiss her palm, then her ring finger right where her wedding band was and he kept his lips there, staring at nothing for a few seconds, “I don’t want Nikki to wonder where I am when she’s older.” he whispered, “I don’t want her to feel alone because I’m gone.” 

Beatrice’s head recoiled in surprise, “Alone? Why would she think that?” 

“Because I’ll be gone for certain periods of time. It’s been safe now, I’ve been gone for months but when I have to leave for like a year…what if she just hates me because I’m gone?” her brows lower when he says that because he sounds absolutely heartbroken, “What if she asks you why I have to leave and then get mad because I do? Or when she’s older and she latches onto me to prevent me from leaving?” 

Beatrice frowns more while keeping her hand on his face, only adding it’s twin to the other side to cup his cheeks, “Bradley,” his eyes immediately snap to hers, “There’s no way something like that would sever the connection you two already have. Nicole is going to be a month old and she’s already crazy about you…and well, there will be times she’ll be confused about you leaving but then we’ll sit down and have a talk with her.” she shrugs, “Because she needs to understand you are doing it because it’s your job, not because you want to leave her.” 

“I know but–” 

“What made you feel like this?” She is concerned by how he sounded, how much he doubted himself when speaking. 

He hesitates, but he sighs as he drops his head back into the pillow with her hands still on his cheeks, chewing the inside of his lip as he recalls the conversation he had that morning, “I had…a talk with Evelyn’s dad.” he begins, “He said that he was only able to hold Evelyn for the first time when she was one years old.” 

That information she already knew, especially since Evelyn always mentioned that ‘it could be why the two of them butted heads so much’. She knew why it bothered him to think that maybe Nikki would be upset but she doubted it’d go down that route. She already planned on telling Nikki,when she was old enough to understand, what her father did and why it was important. 

Of course that, as a child, she wouldn’t understand at first. She knew how it was when Bianca was younger and Leo had to go to work, even go out of state for surfing competitions and be away for a long time. It’s all about dialogue, “...Roos, while I do understand your fear the situation is completely different.” he didn’t seem to believe her, “Hey, it is. You can talk to Nikki far away from home, she can see your face when you aren’t here…what happened with Ev,well,it sucks but the communication back then was pretty much letters only.” 

He just looked away, clearly still bothered by the information he just shared, making Beatrice’s smile soften, “She already loves you and if we talk to her, if we let her know about it I doubt she’d get to the point where she’d hate you. Yeah, she wouldn’t understand but she’d be open to learning more about it. Listen- Roos look at me.” he flicks his gaze at her finally, doubt in those brown irises that only made his expression sour up even more, “What is going to happen is that we are going to talk to Nikki, when she’s old enough for us to she will have to know that.” 

“I know.” 

“And she won’t hate you.” Beatrice tells him, “Because she will know that you will be there for her every time she needs, even far away.” 

Rooster still felt his stomach turning in knots, but he was happy that Beatrice was there reassuring him. It was eating him alive ever since he had the talk with Cyclone and honestly he didn’t know if it’d get better…maybe it was something he had to do so he’d get used to it, “What’s on your mind now,Roos?” 

“Besides everything?” he laughs weakly, “I don’t know, I’m just…still digesting I’m leaving.” 

“Are you blaming yourself?” he doesn’t reply and she knows he is, “Roos, it’s not your fault.” 

“I know but…it’s still bothering me. I wish I could’ve had more time with you two, Nikki will grow so much by the time I’m gone.” 

“How long will that be?” 

“Three months.” Beatrice makes the math in her head, then looks back down at him with her mouth parted to explain how that wouldn’t be too much time but he didnt want to hear it, “She’s already so big, she’ll be bigger and I won’t see her changes.” 

Beatrice smiles softly while on top of him, before she pushes herself up to sit atop his crotch, “Roos, I’ll be calling you to let you know what goes on with Nikki, you don’t have to worry about that. You’ll still see her…that’s not the thing bothering you is it?” and she caught him like he was a little boy trying to snatch cookies before dinner, his jaw clenched and he avoided her gaze, “I won’t be hurt.” 

He parts his lips only for no words to come out, then closes his mouth again with an annoyed groan, ‘...I worry about you.” 

“I’ll be fine.” 

“Not…physically,gorgeous.” he frowns more, “I mean…mentally. You…when you got the worst of the baby blues I was so worried about you. Hell,Bea…you were crying so much, you were just a shell of what you were and I fear–” he stops talking, shaking his head briefly, “I fear I won’t be there if it happens again.” 

He didn’t know if Beatrice was okay with this conversation, he even dared a look towards her only to see her eyes were blank, her expression neutral and she didn’t seem bothered nor relieved by that. In fact the silence that answered him was deafening. 

He opens his mouth to speak again but she does it first and he is relieved when he sees her smile, “You are too sweet,Roos.” were her eyes shining? She did sneak in a little sniffle and tried to wipe her eyes as subtle as she could, “And…you have no idea how much that means to me.” 

“I…you aren’t upset?” 

“Upset? No,I’m not upset.” she laughs in disbelief, “I am happy because you worry. Because you want me to be okay…and that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for.” Beatrice cups his face again, leaning down so their lips met, “You have no idea, no idea at all how much that means to me…you know, whenever I have my doubts about myself I need to remember that you love me through everything. Good and bad, through my worst moments and you are still here.” 

“...of course I am.” he whispers, “I love you.” 

And Beatrice’s eyes shone with more tears, some even falling from her eyes onto his bare chest and he quickly wiped them away with his thumb, “...You are a wonderful person,Rooster.A wonderful pilot, a wonderful husband, a wonderful dad…and you have nothing to fear…okay?” she sniffles again, wiping her eye with her shoulder, “If I feel bad I’ll call Ev or Shells, or any of the girls available.” 

Bradley frowns a bit but he nods, a smile slowly appearing on his face, “If you are sure,gorgeous.” he whispered, brushing his thumb on the side of her face, “I just want you to be okay.” 

“I am okay. I have you.” 

It’s like he couldn’t understand how his support meant to her. He doubted himself because of his own issues and yet couldn’t see how much he did to her. He laughs softly after those words come out of her mouth, she could see his humor was changing slowly but surely, “Always, gorgeous.” 

“Do you want to talk about something else?” 

“God, yes please.” 

Beatrice laughs quietly, supporting her head up with her hands, “So, remember the gifts from Marcus?” he nods while caressing her lower back, gently nudging his fingers between the elastic of her panties and the soft skin of her ass, “It’s a lot of stuff, dresses and suits and baby clothes for Nikki…and I was thinking…about wearing one of the dresses to the triplets’ party.” 

Rooster arched his eyebrow, “Oh?” she nods while biting her lower lip, “...what do they look like?” 

“I can’t show you.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because,if I know you, which I do,” she rubs his plump lips with her finger, “You will not be able to control yourself.” and his eyes immediately darkened, pupils enlarging, “All I can say is…that there is a red dress that I really liked and it could be a party dress and and summer dress.” 

“...Bea, you are teasing me.” 

“A little, but I know it helps with your humor.” 

Bradley chuckles while nodding his head, “That it does…thank you.” he whispers as he tucks a strand of her behind her ear “For hearing me out.” 

“You are very welcome,Roos.” she says, pecking his lips one more time, “Now, let’s get to bed, it’s already pretty late.” 

- 

By the time Saturday rolled around, both of them were a lot better, but especially Rooster. Beatrice knew that all he needed was a pep talk and reassurance, that’s all and he’s all better now, the sad façade he had on finally disappeared. As he was busy sitting cross legged on the floor in front of Nicole - who was lying on her back on a Dr.Chimp playmat - Beatrice watched them from the kitchen as she poured herself some water. 

She wasn’t expecting to see a message from Melinda however and she couldn’t help the vicious eye roll she gave her phone once she saw who it was. Beatrice sighed, knowing if she didn’t check it now she wouldn’t stop bothering her, so she just unlocked her phone and walked out of the kitchen while looking down at it. 

Bitch #1(08:45) 

Hello cousin, just a little something we forgot to tell you: this is a formal event so it’d be wise to dress accordingly. I know it might be hard to find clothes that…would accept your body type but if you’d like you can wear one of those long hoodies you used to wear when you were younger! :) if those still fit. We will not mind. 

Beatrice clenched the phone in her hand so hard she could swear she heard the phone case crack under her grasp, Rooster had his back to her so he wasn’t aware of her expression. 

Bea (08:49) 

Hi Melinda. Don’t worry,I already have something to wear.   

Bitch #1 (08:50) 

Oh really? Oh we’ll love to see it!  

Bea (08:49) 

I’m sure you would. 

She ended the message right then and there, tossing the phone on the couch with an annoyed huff breaking past her lips and Rooster looked up from Nicole to check on her, “Your cousins,huh?” 

‘Yep.” she groans, “I hope this is the last time we’ll deal with them,they tire me out so much.” 

“At best we’ll have a great drama moment at the house.” he jokes, “Maybe we can do our own version of Housewives.” Beatrice couldn’t help the laugh that broke out of her after he said that. She’s not the greatest Housewives fan but Rooster surely became after binging some seasons while she was pregnant with Nicole. 

“Tempting.” she says, approaching the two and sitting down next to him on the floor, smiling at her daughter who just kicked her legs up in the air and gurgled something, her tiny hand reaching for Beatrice who quickly gave her a finger to grab on, “But…I’d prefer not to.I’ll just look amazing wearing a Marcus Beverly piece.” she says with as much confidence as she could have, the goblin voice in her mind chittering quietly as if trying to climb back inside, “And so will you, if you want.” 

Bradley purses his lips in thought, then arches his brows with a nod, “Can we match?” 

“I don’t see why not.” she giggles, “You’d be happy to know that Marcus figured out your style immediately, I didn’t even have to tell him about it.” 

Her husband just nods again, focusing back on Nicole and Beatrice who were too busy playing together to notice his look. He licks his lips once, then runs his hand over his mustache as he leans back against the couch, “Baby,listen,” Bea looks up from Nicole, “I was thinking about something and…well, Hangman and Bob aren’t coming to the mission.” 

“Oh, they aren’t?” 

“No and…well,I talked to them and…they’ll come to check on you every once in a while.” Beatrice straightens herself a bit, arching her brow, “I know you can take care of yourself gorgeous, I know that but…indulge me a little, those two promised they’d only come by to check on you and leave, nothing more nothing less.” 

Beatrice just stared at him for a few seconds, still holding Nicole’s hand and then she sighed, chewing the inside of her lower lip, “...I don’t think there’ll be another option right now,huh?” she laughs softly, “But it’s okay,Roos. I don’t mind that and if it keeps your mind at ease, that’s fine by me.” 

Rooster breathed out in relief, “Okay, now I’m better.” he pecks her cheek soundly, “Now tell me,what did your bitch cousins want?” 

“Oh you know,” she begins while wriggling her fingers above Nicole’s face, “Talk shit about my body,make fun about me because they think I still can’t find clothes that fit me. You know, the usual ‘bodyshaming’ attitude they always had.” 

Bradley crossed his arms over his broad chest, jaw clenching and eyes on fire, “Oh I hate them so much.” 

“I know.” 

“It’s like…were they under a fucking rock? Didn’t they know you did stuff for Marcus? I mean holy shit there was a huge billboard on the side of a building, you’d think that’s something they’d know about.” 

Beatrice stops playing with Nicole as she hears his words, her daughter gurgling more while latching on her index finger with an iron grip an infant should not have, but Beatrice was too busy thinking  about what she just heard. Bradley gave his wife a  confused look, “Bea?” he tries, but he sees a little smile, an almost smug smile slowly widening on her face “Bea,gorgeous…what’s the matter?” 

And she can’t answer him…because suddenly she had a wonderful idea. 

[suckitsurveys]

2014/2024

1. First thing you touched this morning? Boyfriend./ Husband.

2. Last thing you yelled at? I’ve been saying things loudly all day I’m so hyper right now. And that sentence makes it sound like I am a 15 year old oops. / Someone who wouldn’t get out of my way on the expressway lol. 3. Is your car a piece of crap? Ahhh my favorite 14 year old piece of crap. / My car is actually in really good shape aside from the fact that it fucking leaks gas and they can’t find a replacement fuel tank so now I have to probably buy a new car.

4. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next 7 days? Being with babe and getting hella paid next Friday. / Celebrating my niece’s 11th birthday and getting sushi twice in the same week when I go out with my friends for my birthday lol.

5. What’s annoying you right now? I feel weird but not weird. / Honestly how this survey formatted when I pasted it in here and now I have to fix every answer.

6. When is the last time you looked in the mirror? Earlier when I went to the bathroom. / This morning.

7. Would you have a long distance relationship with the person you are with now? We kind of have one now but not really? I mean he lives an hour away from me but we see each other pretty often. Like most of the week. / I mean we are married now so a long distance relationship would suck, especially after living together for almost 8 years now.

8. Who was the last person to make you really mad? My sister. / Actually, my sister, haha.

9. Where is the last place you had sex? In Mark’s new bed! Well. In my old bed, which is now his bed. / In our bed.

10. Who is the last person you had sex with? Mark! / Mark!

11. Do you enjoy watching porn? I do. / Sometimes.

12. What’s your favorite drinking game? Circle of Death! / I still like Circle of Death but I never play drinking games anymore.

13. Do you cry often? Ehh.  / Yes.I have been an emotional nightmare the past year hahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaa.

14. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now? “Hey babe are you thinking of me right now?” “Always and forever.” / He’s still asleep so not yet.

15. Choose one to have (beer, cigs, or weed)? WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. / Weed.

16. Do you wish on stars? Naw. / Not really.

17. Are you a big flirt? Nah. / Nope.

18. What is the most disgusting prank you’ve ever done? – / I don’t do pranks.

19. What would you do if you became pregnant? Get an abortion. / Get an abortion.

20. When did you last make out with someone? Was it good? Yesterday, and yes. / A couple of days ago, and yes.

21. Do you like your body? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. / Right now no.

22. Are you a likeable person? Fuck yeah I am amazing. / I don’t know, ask the people who claim to like me.

24. Who did you dream of last night? I don’t remember. / I had a dream Longfellow quit SNL but it was because he got the lead role in a movie franchise hahaha.

25. Whose body do you wish you had? My own but 30lbs lighter. / My own but 50lbs lighter.

26. What is the first thing you are going to do when you get home? Probably shower and get ready for my Grandma’s 89th birthday. I’m going home Sunday morning for that. / Put all my shit away and change into comfy clothes.

27. When is the last time you saw your mom? Alive? July 18, 2013. / July 18, 2013.

28. Have you ever been so in love, you wanted to get married? Like right now, yeah. / Yup, and I did.

29. Did you get lucky on prom night? I went with my best friend from Boston. So yeah that was pretty lucky. / In the sexual sense, no.

30. Is there a song that makes you cry? Oh god yes. / Yes, several.

31. Are you normally a horny person? Yeah. / Yeah.

32. Where is your self-esteem from 1 (low) to 10 (high)? Like an 8 right now. / 2.

33. What color are your eyes? Greeeeeen. / Green.

34. Plans for tonight? About to go swimming with babe. Then we might get pizza and wine and chill tonight. / Going to my sister’s so I can take my niece’s birthday pictures and maybe tell her she’s going to see Billie Eilish in November. Then I’m gunna go home and eat dinner with Mark.

35. Plans for the weekend? Well tomorrow I’ll still be here and Sunday is my grandma’s birthday. So that. / Tomorrow is my niece’s birthday and we’re having a family party for her. Then Sunday I’m planning on taking her to lunch and the mall to pick out a few things.

[officialchristiancagebbgirlblog]

✨101 writing prompts✨

So here I have written up 101 dialogue and scenario prompts for you to choose from! I hope I didn’t accidentally write doubles. But feel free to request for me to write using these or your own! As of right now:

Requests: open for business!

I’m mostly just writing for Christian Cage and Adam Copeland but don’t let that deter you from requesting other wrestlers, especially within AEW! I’ll do my best! If you use any for your writing, I only ask that you credit me ☺️ happy writing! 🩵

1 - “you know I love you, right?”

2 - “try and get some sleep baby”

3 - “is that really necessary?”

4 - “just…five more minutes”

5 - “okay but if we leave now, we can avoid all that traffic and…why are you staring at me like that?”

6 - “absolutely not. Put that back”

7 - “when was the last time we danced together?”

8 - “no, I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful!”

9 - “what do you think, does it look good on me?”

10 - “don’t you even think about walking through that door”

11 - “so this whole time you didn’t actually care about me?”

12 - “I can’t believe you’d think to hurt me like this. After everything we’d been through together”

13 - “no, no I’m not ready for it to end yet. Not like this”

14 - “please. Please don’t leave me. I need you”

15 - “I’m so scared…of you”

16 - “you have to understand, punching people or things is terrifying for me”

17 - “why can’t you understand that I don’t love you anymore?”

18 - “no, you lost me when you decided to kiss him/her”

19 - “we’re done. Get the fuck out of my house”

20 - “I wish I’d never met you”

21 - “I just…I feel like I wasted the last two years of my life”

22 - “why am I the last to hear about how you’re not in love with me anymore?”

23 - “fine, you want him/her so bad? Then go! I’m not going to wait for you anymore”

24 - “why should I wait for you to decide if you want to be my boy/girlfriend again?”

25 - “clearly this relationship was one sided this whole time, huh”

26 - “I was an idiot for thinking you could love me”

27 - “no. I don’t love you anymore”

28 - “he/she treats me better than you ever did”

29 - “every time I try to talk to you about this, you fucking walk off!”

30 - “come here, let me brush your hair”

31 - “you’re really warm…you sure you’re doing okay?”

32 - “why didn’t you tell me?”

33 - “come here, baby”

34 - “shh it’s okay, I’m here now”

35 - “it’s going to be okay. I’m going to help you but I need you to stay still”

36 - “would it help if I held your hand?”

37 - “they said what to you?”

38 - “show me where it hurts…oh honey, that’s bad. You need to see a doctor, I think that’s beyond what I can do to help”

39 - “why are you shaking? Are you cold?”

40 - “if it ever gets bad again, can you promise you’ll tell me? I don’t want you to go through this alone”

41 - “come to the bathroom. I’ll help you shower”

42 - “there we go. Let it all out”

43 - “I know taking medicine sucks but you have to take it if you want to get better”

44 - “I wish I could take the pain away for you”

45 - “do you need a massage? You look tense…”

46 - “no, I’m okay. It’s just cold”

47 - “please don’t worry about me”

48 - “it just gets hard sometimes yknow? And there really isn’t much anyone can do to make it better”

49 - “maybe not…but can I try at least make it more comfortable for you?”

50 - “please…I can’t breathe. It’s too much”

51 - “will you hold me?”

52 - “I know I’m not who you want to see right now but I’m desperate. Please. Stay with me”

53 - “I just need to know if there’s still a part of you that loves me…that misses what we had”

54 - “I fucked up…bad”

55 - “stay behind me okay? Everything will be alright”

56 - “why are your eyes red? Were you crying?”

57 - “do you remember when we first met?”

58 - “how much sugar are you putting in that?!”

59 - “if I lay back down with you, I’m never getting back up”

60 - “why don’t you like the nickname ‘princess/prince’? Is schnookums better?” - “absolutely not you cringe-“

61 - “I swear I’m not ticklish…stop looking at me like that, I’m not!”

62 - getting caught singing/dancing

63 - seeing you/them get hurt

64 - reacting to you/them on your/their period

65 - reacting to a panic attack

66 - having to do grocery shopping together

67 - reacting to you falling asleep on them

68 - rescuing you from a potentially dangerous situation

69 - having your first time in bed with each other

70 - how they are during a video/board/card game

71 - helping you/them feel better when you/they feel insecure about your/their body

72 - your first kiss

73 - how you first met (please request if you want a specific scenario!)

74 - taking care of each other after an event/match

75 - reacting to walking in on you/them crying

76 - reacting to walking in on you/them getting changed

77 - them standing up for you against someone/vice versa

78 - having to break up

79 - making up again

80 - realising you’re in love with each other

81 - meeting for the first time

82 - a small argument

83 - a big argument

84 - seeing them with children (your own or others)

85 - helping you with your makeup

86 - doing their makeup

87 - winding down after a long day together

88 - having a date night (you choose the type of date)

89 - dealing with long distance

90 - playfully teasing/irritating each other (if you so chose, could lead into an argument!)

91 - looking after each other when one is sick

92 - watching a movie and cheering up the other person when their sad during a death/sad moment

93 - reacting to you/them getting pregnant

94 - watching them bond with baby you-two

95 - showering/bathing together (can lead into smut)

96 - dealing with a traumatic event

97 - baking/cooking together

98 - teasing them (smut version)

99 - reconnecting after a long period away from each other

100 - double date

101 - breakup/getting back together sex

[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 112]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53

I don't have a lot of time on Mondays to work, so you'll probably only get 2 rounds of this. However, I'm trying to get back into the habit so...

Maybe you'll get some this evening, but no promises. I had a busy weekend and am tired lol. I might just go to sleep at 5 when I get home. XD

Chapter 54 (Patton)

“I still can’t believe he’s allowing this,” King Thomas said from next to Patton. The two of them were standing at the edge of the arena outside the horse stable, watching from a safe distance.

“If he hadn’t tried to bite me earlier, I’d think he was a different horse,” Patton agreed.

“He doesn’t even let Logan ride him,” the king said. “At least not ride him and give him directions.”

Patton was very aware of that. Logan did on occasion choose to get up onto Mr. Apples’ saddle. However, Mr. Apples was always the once who got to decide where they went after that. Logan had no say.

With that in mind, Patton, Logan, and every stable hand who’d heard about the prospective riding lessons had tried to convince Virgil to learn to ride on a different horse. Virgil was just as stubborn as Mr. Apples however and had insisted. Logan, being the only one who could be around Mr. Apples without risking being kicked, had become his de facto tutor.

Not even Logan could have expected that within a week, Virgil would be able to control Mr. Apples. Though perhaps ‘control’ was the wrong word. Nothing could control Mr. Apples, but for some reason, Mr. Apples seemed willing to do as Virgil asked.

Even right now Mr. Apples was trotting around the training arena like he was a well-trained trick horse warming up with his rider.

“Logan told him we could go on an actual ride today if the lesson went well,” Patton told the king. The lesson seemed to be just getting over because Logan said something to Virgil and Virgil started to climb off. Mr. Apples was patient and still as he dismounted.

“Do you think he’d mind if I went with you?” King Thomas asked.

Patton shrugged. “Mr. Apples might.”

“Mr. Apples definitely will,” the king replied. “I’ll come anyway.”

Logan had walked over to where Patton and the king were standing while Virgil fed Mr. Apples some apple pieces as a reward.

“I hear you’re going to go riding today,” King Thomas said.

Logan nodded. “Mr. Apples seems to listen to him well enough,” he said.

“I might join you if that’s alright. Where are you kids going?” the king asked.

“I was thinking the main forest path,” Logan replied. “It’s not a particularly difficult route, but it’s also a part of the castle grounds Virgil hasn’t been able to see yet. Loraine told me it has been recently cleared after the winter.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” the king said. “Are you going now?”

“Once Patton and I saddle up our horses,” Logan said. “You can come.”

“Great,” the king said with a smile. “I’ll ask for Bella’s saddle to be brought out. I haven’t gone on a ride yet this week.”

He turned then to walk towards the stables leaving Patton and Logan alone.

“Do you think he’s been acting weird?” Logan asked, turning towards Patton.

Patton frowned. “No,” he said. “Not really.”

“I’m just wondering why he wants to go horseback riding with us.”

“He likes spending time with you?” Patton guessed.

“Yes,” Logan said, “but typically in a setting that doesn’t involve Mr. Apples.”

Well, that was fair.

“I mean, it’s not too weird,” Patton said, thinking back through the last couple of days. King Thomas had been a bit… clingy.

“He’s been hanging around a lot,” Logan said, echoing Patton’s thoughts with narrowed eyes. He glanced back at Virgil. “You don’t think Virgil let something slip, do you?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Patton said. “I think your dad would say something if Virgil let slip he was an assassin somehow.”

“Unless he let slip something that didn’t quite implicate himself but invited suspicion.”

“Your dad doesn’t seem suspicious,” Patton said. At least, Patton didn’t think he did. He hadn’t been acting mean in any way. In fact, he might have even been acting nicer.

Logan frowned. “We should keep an eye on him, especially around Virgil.”

Patton bit his lip.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Are we ever going to tell your dad about Virgil?” he asked.

Logan hesitated. “I don’t…” he trailed. “I’m not sure.”

“It just feels weird lying for so long,” Patton said. Patton didn’t lie a lot. Sure, maybe he’d pretend to not know what Mama was talking about when sweets went missing from the kitchens or he’d pretend to not know what Logan’s birthday gift was, but he’d never lied about anything serious before now.

“I know, but,” Logan glanced back at Virgil once again, “even if we did decide to tell, we’d have to convince Virgil everything would be alright beforehand. I don’t think we’re at that point yet. He was terrified of Father until a few months ago, and he’s still cautious around him sometimes.”

Logan was right, of course. Virgil was getting more and more comfortable around the king, but he figured any of the progress made would go down the drain as soon as they brought up telling King Thomas about where exactly Virgil had come from. Patton didn’t know if Virgil would ever be comfortable enough.

“We should go get our own horses,” Logan suggested, and Patton nodded.

Patton and Logan’s horses had already been saddled by the stable hands in anticipation of their ride and it didn’t take long for the king to saddle his own horse, Bella.

The forest path at this time of year was very pretty, Patton thought. The tree branches now had small green leaves on them after having been barren for the entire winter and flowers were starting to grow. In a few weeks’ time it would be even prettier, but it would also be harder for the groundskeeper to maintain as well as it was right now.

Virgil really did seem less anxious around King Thomas now. The path was only wide enough for two horses to go at once, and he didn’t seem to mind that he and the king ended up next to each other while Patton and Logan lagged behind. In fact, he and the king seemed to be having a nice conversation about the local wildlife.

However, if Patton looked close enough, he did sort of see what Logan meant. Virgil may not be anxious talking to the king now, but the king himself seemed just a little bit nervous at least at the beginning of the ride.

He seemed to relax a bit as they rode (even laughing when Mr. Apples tried to bite him when he got too close).

Logan had been teaching Virgil the basics about things like animals, but there was still a pretty big gap in his education when it came to anything that wasn’t about training to fight and kill. King Thomas seemed more than willing to answer any of his questions when it came to the animals and plants around them even if they were sometimes a bit silly.

He’d seen a bird that looked like a dove. (It may have even been a dove, but Patton hadn’t seen it.) This had been a source of endless confusion for him.

“But shouldn’t it live in the dovecote?” Virgil asked.

“Not all birds live in a dovecote,” the king explained again.

“But it’s a dove,” Virgil said with a frown.

“Not all doves live in a dovecote,” the king replied.

“But it’s a dovecote,” Virgil argued. “It’s for the doves.”

“Yes, but there are also wild doves,” the king said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Virgil replied.

“What about it doesn’t make sense?” the king asked with a laugh in his tone.

“Doves go in the dovecote,” Virgil said.

Patton was starting to have trouble following this argument.

“Dovecotes are made for doves,” the king said, “but not all doves go in dovecotes.”

“Why?”

This seemed to stump the king momentarily, but he still answered after thinking for a bit. “Doves existed before people got to them,” the king explained. “People caught and trained some of them, but there was no way to catch all of them. So, some stayed in the wild and continued with their lives like they had been before humans. Plus, sometimes domesticated doves fly off and never come back. Sometimes they might die, but other times they may have just gotten lost and had to build a new life somewhere far away. Or maybe they even decided that being a trained dove working for humans wasn’t for them, so they decided to go off on their own.”

“You let them do that?” Virgil asked.

“We can’t really stop them in the end,” the king said. “People can try, but it never ends up working as long as they can fly.”

Virgil thought about this. “I still don’t understand,” he said, “but okay.”

“We should take you to the cliffs,” the king suggested.

“What are the cliffs?”

“The castle grounds were built for defense,” King Thomas explained. “The edge of the grounds to the North is a large river and overlooking it is a huge cliff. It’s a good place for picnics and for birdwatching. It’s a bit of a trip, but now would be a good time of year to go.”

He glanced over his shoulder back at Logan and Patton. “What do you boys think about going to the cliffs sometime? Maybe in about a week?”

Logan squinted at his father suspiciously. It wasn’t so much the fact that the king was asking them to go to the cliffs. They did that every so often. However, this time, it only supported Logan’s claims that the king was hanging out with them a lot recently.

“Sure,” Logan said, after a moment.

“Sounds fun!” Patton said cheerily right after, trying to cover for the lack of enthusiasm in Logan’s voice with his own. Judging by King Thomas’s expression and Logan’s tight-lipped scowl, he may have overcompensated.

“Great,” the king said. “”I’ll make sure to make arrangements when we get back to the castle.”

Chapter 55 (Logan)

            Virgil was beginning to be able to read some of the common instructions in magic books, but Logan still made sure to read out the instructions to him at least twice before setting him loose. He’d started to jot down notes to himself about things, though these notes were not words, but various symbols that only made sense to the boy himself.

            Logan had asked about their meaning at one point and received an answer that, while earnest, was unintelligible. The symbols were mostly just pictures of things to represent certain steps in spell casting, but they were filtered through Virgil’s rudimentary penmanship and often bizarre perception of the world.

Though, despite the fact that Logan could not often decipher his chicken scratch, it did seem to help him produce impressively quality charms even as Logan began to introduce more complicated processes to make them. He was a very good student even if he didn’t have the best foundation for learning.

“I add lavender for the next step, right?” Virgil asked, his finger on a word in Logan’s magic book.

“That is correct,” Logan confirmed.

Virgil looked back at the book and mouthed the word ‘lavender’ to himself before turning back to his potion. He grabbed a few sprigs of lavender and threw them into the cauldron.

The liquid popped and bubbled violently, but Virgil didn’t flinch as he once would have, prepared for it now.

After the lavender, Logan knew that it would have to simmer for 5 minutes. Virgil looked down at the boiling liquid, contemplating it for a long moment.

“Can I soak a knife in it?” he asked.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Can I soak a knife in the potion once it’s done?”

“In that potion?” Logan clarified. “In the emergency hand warmer potion?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I think a hot knife would be useful,” Virgil said.

“For what?”

Virgil shrugged. “Cooking food on the road,” he said, “burning wood, stabbing someone and immediately cauterizing the wound.”

“That is… not a standard use for this potion,” Logan said.

Virgil titled his head at him. “Would it work though?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Logan contemplated. “Perhaps. The potion can cause burns if one uses too much of it or if it is used without an appropriate layer between it and the skin. If one were to pick a knife with enough surface area and let it soak long enough, it could in theory get hot enough to do as desired. Hmm…” he thought about it. “There would perhaps be the problem of the potion not sticking to the knife very long as it is intended to soak into fabric. However, cardamom could solve that issue as long as it doesn’t interact with any other ingredients. Let me see that spell.”

Virgil stepped out of his way so he could study the page. “Yes,” Logan said after scanning through all of the ingredients. “I think coriander would work for something like that. Let me go find some.”

He turned to walk towards where he kept his supplies of potion ingredients. Virgil followed on his heals.

“Can we use a serrated knife?”

“Oh, that’s a good idea, Virgil,” Logan said, nodding as he searched through the cupboard that should hold the coriander. “The knife being serrated would help keep the potion stuck to the blade after many uses and would increase the surface area.”

“That was certainly my intentions,” Virgil said smoothly. There was something odd about the tone that had Logan turning to him and blinking at him. Virgil just smiled at him innocently and Logan turned back to the cabinet finally locating the coriander.

“So how are we going to use that?” Virgil asked.

“We’ll put it in right before the last step and let it sit for about 3 minutes,” Logan said. “If it doesn’t quite work, we may need to make another batch. There are options other than coriander, but that’s the first idea that comes to mind and it a lot simpler if it works.”

He continued to speak of the many other options they could try as they returned to the caldron as well as how they could test the hot knife. It was already about time for the next step and Virgil did it without interrupting Logan’s rant.

Virgil listened to his suggestions with interest all while still making sure the potion he was making was progressing well.

Logan did eventually take over to finish the potion with the revised steps he’d come up with and they ended up with a potion that looked perfect except it was a few shades darker than the one they’d originally been planning to make.

“Well, it looks good,” Logan declared. “We will need to acquire a knife to test its effectiveness, however.”

“There are a few good ones in the kitchen,” Virgil pointed out. “I especially like the one 10 inch one with the black and white handle.”

“You have been eyeing up the kitchen knives?” Logan asked.

Virgil rolled his eyes as though that was not a perfectly reasonable question to ask him. “We should steal that one,” Virgil said.

“Do you think we’ll be able to sneak past Ms. Heart to steal a knife from her kitchen?” Logan asked.

“We can’t,” Virgil said.

Logan almost didn’t believe him… and then he remembered the water pouch incident. “It’s the dinner rush,” Logan said. “We should probably wait for a bit.”

Virgil was shaking his head. “The dinner rush is the best time,” he said. “Everyone will be distracted, and all of the knives will be out and in prime stealing position.”

“And if Patton’s mother catches us messing around in her kitchen during her busiest time of day, she will have Father ground us for a week.”

“Then we just won’t get caught,” Virgil said.

“I’m not sure if it’s that simple,” Logan said with a frown.

“You can stay here if you want,” Virgil offered. “I’ll just go by myself.”

“No, I’ll come too,” Logan relented, though he did still have some reservations about the idea.

He let Virgil lead him towards the main dining hall. By now, Virgil knew the kitchens and dining hall very well.

“Stay here,” he said. They were in a hallway a few feet down from the staff entrance to the kitchen. “I’m going to do some reconnaissance.”

“What type of reconnaissance?” Logan asked, but Virgil had already disappeared before his very eyes. With a blink, Logan looked up and saw a dark figure disappear onto a balcony overhead.