#15 a month. then 33? stare is that even good or worth it

[tinytveit]

i just simply should not be allowed to pick internet stuff cause im incredibly bias to it being usable

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Prompt List

Hey! I am so sorry for not uploading for like five months! I really want to start uploading again but I think doing so many Taylor Swift inspired prompts burnt me out - if you sent a request or do send one I will get to it just give me time.

Here is a prompt list I'll be using from now on, like always if you have your own idea(s), send them in!

These's prompts include: "dialogue", 'anything in quotations is what the whole fic will be based around', 5 times plus 1, AU's and more!

Send in just one or merge some ideas together!

Click here to add yourself to my tag list! 🤍

_______________________________________________

1 - “You’re in love with her, you know that right?”

2 - “I didn’t know where else to go.”

3 - “I’m replaceable, you’re not.”

4 - “You kept it?”

5 - Leaning their head on their shoulder

6 - “Because that’s what you and I do, we protect each other.”

7 - “I swear on us.” “Why us?” “Because there is nothing I have ever believed in more.”

8 - Person A getting hurt protect Person B

9 - “Hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

10 - “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

11 - “Whatever you do, don’t let go.”

12 - 5 times Person A and B correct people about their relationship status and the 1 time they just accept it

13 - Everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate. The world goes back to black and white when they die.

14 - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you.”

15 - Accidental love confession

16 - “You’re staring at him/her again.”

17 - “Give me one good reason why I should trust you?” “Because no matter how much you hate me, you know I have never lied to you.”

18 - “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

19 - “If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

20 - “You had your chance with her. You had your chance and you blew it, and this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are made for each other.”

21 - ‘I still hope there is more to our story. Maybe we just had to fall apart to find each other again one day.’

22 - “You weren’t there…why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you and you weren’t there!”

23 - “It’s my job to keep you safe, yes, but you could work with me a little to make it easier.”

24 - “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you and you haven’t stopped thinking about me.”

25 - ‘I am usually an optimist but I have never hoped for a sad ending like I do for you and her.’

26 - “I can’t say if the day I met you was the best or worst day of my life.”

27 - “Don’t look at me like that.”

28 - ‘Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.’

29 - “She’s my best friend, that’s never changed.” “Yeah, the only thing that changed was your feelings for her.”

30 - “How many fingers am I holding up?”

31 - “You’d die for her?”

32 - ‘He had that awkward tenderness of someone who had never been in love and was forced to improvise.’

33 - “I did it for you, you idiot.”

34 - “If I never see you again just know that I love you so, so much.”

35 - ‘He kissed her. Without warning, without permission. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn’t have done anything else.’

36 - “I thought you were dead!”

37 - Squeezing their hand reassuringly

38 - “Whatever you do, do not make a sound.”

39 - “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

40 - “I can’t do this without you. I won’t do this without you.”

41 - “See? I told ya they’d get together.”

42 - ‘There is some good left in this world and it is worth fighting for.’

43 - Born with your soulmates first name tattooed on your body

44 - ‘There are some people that you meet and you just know from the get go that they are important, that you have to do anything to keep them in your life. He was that person.’

45 - “You came to me, begging me for help!”

46 - “Tell me about your life before all of this.”

47 - ‘S/he would always be my biggest what if.’

48 - “It turns out I’m absolutely terrible at staying away from you.”

49 - One being forced to hurt the other but refusing, getting themselves hurt instead

50 - “Why is it always the people you can’t trust saying “trust me”?”

51 - ‘If you were going to die, I was going to die with you.’

52 - “You can’t sleep yet kid, I need you to stay awake.”

53 - ‘We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day, years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop, in a faraway city somewhere and we could give it another shot.’

54 - Five times they wanted to say ‘I love you’ and the 1 time they finally did

55 - “I always thought you were the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

56 - “I’ve never had a family before.”

57 - “I’m not leaving without her.”

58 - ‘Sometimes we do everything right and it’s still not enough.'

59 - “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

60 - ‘We’re in love, we just want to be together. What’s wrong with that?’

61 - “Take me instead. Leave her/him and take me.”

62 - Sitting together on a rooftop

63 - “I think…I’m in love with (Name.)” “Congrats on being the last one to find out.”

64 - Needing somebody else to point out the fact you have feelings for character

65 - “I know we’re not…friends or anything, but…I’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to.”

66 - Drunken kiss

67 - “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

68 - ‘Home is not where you are from. It’s where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others find it in a person.’

69 - “If I had it my way, we’d never leave this bed.” 

70 - ‘Everything that needs saying, truly saying, begins with a lump in the throat.’

71 - When mysterious injuries appear on your body, it’s because your soulmate got them.

72 - ‘For old times sake.’

73 - “I’m never gonna be good enough for you, am I?”

74 - “Don’t hurt him! Just stop hurting him, please!”

75 - ‘Sometimes there are no words that can help. Sometimes you just need to sit together in silence and try to come to terms with how the world works.’

76 - “When I let a day go by without talking to you, that’s just not a good day.”

77 – “Do you have a plan?” “I have a gun.”

78 - “How long did you think you could hide that?”

79 - “Leave with me.”

80 - ‘She was good and he needed a little good in his life because without it there was an awful lot of darkness.’

81 - 5 places Person A and B have kissed plus the 1 place where they did more than that

82 - “Honestly I wasn’t listening but I always disagree with whatever you say.”

83 - “There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with you.” “You’re more than welcome to sleep on the floor.”

84 - Person B is frowning all the time but Person A can always see when they are happy (Grumpy x Sunshine)

85 - ‘I want you to always remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”

86 - “I’ll do it, but only because you asked me to.”

87 - 5 times Person A treated Person B’s injuries, plus 1 time Person B treated Person A’s injury.

88 - ‘Maybe one day we’ll meet again and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me.’

89 - "Dying in the middle of nowhere doesn't seem so bad if you're here."

90 - “Oh no, you’re a morning person.”

91 - “I hate you.” “I love you too.”

92 - “No, don't stop, keep talking. I like hearing you talk.”

93 - “Are you cold?”

94 - “What do you want from me?”

95 - “Look, I know you hate me but I don’t know what to do and I really need some help.”

96 - “I’m not leaving you. Not this time.”

97 - “I wish things had been different.”

98 - “I can’t leave you alone for a second without you getting into trouble, can I?”

99 - “You’re not sleeping?” “Nope.” “Why not?” “Don’t want you to stab me the second I close my eyes.” “I won’t.”

100 - “This isn’t just an (object), it’s a promise.”

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Epilogue 1

Epilogue 1 : Heartbreak Weather

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32  🡪chapter 33 🡪chapter 34 🡪chapter 35 🡪chapter 36 🡪chapter 37 🡪chapter 38

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

You, that's what I've been missing Was tangled up and twisted Now all the clouds been lifted Lately, my heart's been so empty

click here to be on the update list

DEVON

10 months later

"Are you nervous?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as my heart thumped in my chest.

Niall turned to me and sent me a small smile, shaking his head lightly. "A good nervous I guess." He breathed in and turned to face me, raising his eyebrows at me. "I wouldn't have been able to do all that without you."

My lips curled on the right and I tilted my head. "Don't say that. You did all that by yourself. It's your achievement." I pointed out, taking a step closer and moving my chin up to look in his eyes. "And I'm so proud of you."

It was true, I really was. In only a few months, he had recorded an entire album and was finally releasing it. There were more people than we expected and he breathed in and out slowly, rubbing his hands on his jeans. I felt as nervous as he was and licked my lips, reaching for his hands and squeezing them tight.

"I'll be first row, okay?" I tried to reassure him, getting on my tiptoes to kiss his jaw. "You're the most talented person I know, and now everyone will see it."

He moved his head down to kiss my lips and I felt my heart jump in my chest. Every single time he kissed me, I felt my heart twist in my chest. No one has ever made me happy the way Niall was making me happy, and even after almost a year, my feelings for him kept growing with every smile, every kiss, every 'i love you'.

"All my songs are about you." he whispered as my lips curled against his before I kissed him harder, shutting my eyes tight.

I ended up front row, right in front of the stage, and when he started talking, his eyes found me every few seconds, making me smile more every time. I knew there were journalists in the room and that it was extremely important for him but when he started singing, I felt like I was alone with him.

"This is for my main girl." he let out, glancing at me and making my heart skip a few beats.

I started nibbling on my bottom lip as he sang and without realizing it, I started tearing up. I couldn't believe I had almost passed up the chance to be happy with someone who really loved me. Niall was right, it was okay to love again, and risking this was the best decision I ever took.

"Blinded by the sparks I was holding you close in the dark Finding reasons to stay where we are

All of my life I've been sleep-walk living Running around the same bars I've been in It can be so lonely in this city But it feels different when you're with me All of my life, it's been heartbreak weather Thinking to myself it won't get better It can be so lonely in this city But it feels different when you're with me.

You, that's what I've been missing Was tangled up and twisted Now all the clouds been lifted Lately, my heart's been so empty You, that's what I've been missing Was tangled up and twisted Now all the clouds been lifted Lately, my heart's been so empty

But it feels different when you're with me It feels different when you're with me"

I swallowed hard, trying not to cry, but I couldn't help it and teared up at his lyrics. I had heard pretty much all his songs and I loved them all, but this one was new to me. He had told me he wanted it to be a surprise and when he played the last notes on his guitar, he turned to me and sent me a wink, making me chuckle through my tears.

I couldn't help but look at the way people reacted to his songs and when he was finally done, we stayed for a few more hours, selling cds and having a few drinks with our friends. I stared at Niall laughing with Lewis a bit farther and got out of my thoughts when someone touched my arm. I turned around and smiled, grabbing the beer Louis was handing me and thanking him before taking a sip.

"Everything good between you two?" he asked, moving his chin quickly in Niall's direction.

I used this opportunity to glance at my boyfriend again and nodded. "Yes. I think he's the right one."

"Yea, that was obvious from day one, if you ask me." Louis shrugged, making me roll my eyes with a smile. "You're both so stubborn. You, especially. And sassy, too."

"Any other adjective that starts with an 'S'?" I asked jokingly, making him chuckle.

"Yes! Stupid!" He laughed as I hit his arm lightly and I smiled more.

I couldn't say he was wrong though. Niall and I had both been a bit stupid before we started dating and I guess it was a part of our story.

"Hey, by the way!" he continued, his eyes getting bigger. "When's your exhibition?"

I breathed in and sighed, shaking my head. "In a few weeks, and I'm not ready." I admitted, licking my lips. "It's so much pressure, I don't know how Niall does it."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing." he took a step closer, looking in my eyes.

"You know me, I'm not the type to enjoy being the center of attention."

"Dev, you're talented, and your art is worth sharing with the world, trust me."

I sent him a small smile and he nodded, pulling me closer into a hug before I shut my eyes with a sigh, wrapping my free arm around him. He let me go after a few seconds and I took an other sip of my beer, raising my eyebrows at him.

"How are you and Eleanor?"

"Amazing, thanks for asking!" he replied with a smile.

"Yea I'm sorry, I've been stuck in my bubble with Niall, but I promise we'll see each other more often now! You know what they say about new couples."

"New couples?" he chuckled, almost choking on his drink. "You've been together for almost a year."

I shrugged just as I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind. My smile turned into a fond one and I tilted my head just as his lips reached my neck.

"How's my main girl doing?" he asked in a whisper, making me giggle low.

"Good, how's my main guy?"

"Mm, he wants to go home." he whined in a low tone near my ear before buring his face in my neck again.

I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck, slipping my fingers in his hair. "Then let's go home, I'll drive."

He bent down and I smiled right before his lips pressed against mine. I deepened the kiss, pulling on his hair gently as he pulled me closer to him and when Louis groaned near us, I chuckled.

"You two, get a room!"

"We're just about to do that!" Niall replied, pulling away and grabbing my hand in his.

After saying our goodbyes and closing the place, I drove until Niall's apartment and parked. Driving his car, which was also my dream car, was something I really loved and when I turned around to look at him, he was staring at me with loving eyes.  No one had ever looked at me like that and I didn't want anyone else to. Just him.

He reached for something between the bench and the door and his seat moved back suddenly, making me chuckle again.

"Come straddle me, petal." he said, sending me a smirk. "Gotta end this perfect day in a perfect way."

"Here?" I asked, amused, my eyebrows raised.

"Mmhm, take your pants off, first."

I stared at him for a few seconds, nibbling on my bottom lip but finally did what he asked. It was his day, I wanted it to be perfect, and I was willing to do anything for that. I struggled to take my pants off and even more to move over and straddle him but when I was finally sitting on his lap, his hands reached my waist, moving down to my ass.

"I can never get enough of you, you know that, right?"

"Then take what you want." I whispered, leaning my forehead against his. "I'm all yours."

His hands slid up on my sides, moving my shirt up and reaching my breasts. He quickly moved my bra up and bent down slightly, bringing his mouth closer. I felt his lips leave small kisses on my breasts and slipped the fingers of both my hands in his hair, letting out a low whimper.

"Mm, I loved that song." I pointed out in a whisper, closing my eyes to focus on his mouth. "The one you sang for me."

"They were all for you." he murmured back, his lips brushing on my nipples, making me tense a bit.

"Congratulation," I added with a smile. "Your album is amazing."

"Thank you my love, it wouldn't have been possible without you." he whispered, panting slightly. "I mean it."

I felt his hand slip in the front of my panties and without thinking, I ground on his fingers, letting out a curse word. He used all his fingers, rubbing them on my pussy for a few seconds before taking his hand back and working on his pants. I got up on my knees to let him move his pants mid-thighs and when I sat back, I felt the tip of his cock press against my panties and let out a whimper, stopping myself immediately. He reached between my legs and pushed my panties aside, holding them as I sat on his dick slowly.

"Fuck, you're gonna ride me good?"

I bent down to reach his lips and ground my hips back and forth very slowly as I kissed him.

"Until you cum deep inside me."

I didn't wait for his answer, I started riding him slowly at first but them harder, feeling myself throb around him. I shut my eyes, feeling his hands travel quickly on my back, ass, thighs and breasts before he gripped my waist tight as I kept bouncing on him.

"You're gonna make me cum." he confessed low, bringing one of his hands between us.

"Oh fuck!" I moaned, moving faster over him as his fingers brushed against my clit. "Fuck, Niall!"

He moved his chin up and sat up straight, reaching my lips with his and I felt myself reach an orgasm as the fingers of his free hand sank in the skin of my waist.

"Petal, fuck."

I kept riding him until his other hand grabbed my waist too, stopping me, and he kissed me harder but slow, wrapping his arms gently around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Tá mé i ngrá leat." he whispered, making my eyes flutter open.

"What?"

I stared at him and he slowly opened his eyes too, his gaze meeting mine. "I love you." he whispered, looking at me so lovingly I felt my heart twist in my chest. "I'm in love with you, Devie."

[adminbryantsaki]

ASK EVENT Open until July 31st

Hello people. I am just throwing this event out there to help bring more activity to my blog. I will be giving a list of prompts that you can pick from. Here is the list of my rules and characters I will write for. this event will be open for a month. It will be closed after July 31st

Most of the prompts are NSFW. So minors don't interact. There can be multiples of the same prompt. That's ok. Combos of prompts are ok too.

Prompts:

1. "Don't make me take you home and punish you."

2. "I never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly."

3. "You're not going out in that outfit."

4. "Don't give me that look."

5. "You're more than a one-night stand."

6. "Would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

7. "You want me to give you your book/phone/ item back? Make me."

8. "Like what you see?"

9. "Try to stay quiet, understand?"

10. "We're in public, you know?"

11. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

12. "Don't be so brought, there can't be any marks."

13. "I really don't care. You still look hot and I'm trying to kiss/fuck you senseless right now."

14. "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop."

15. "No, I'm supposed to be making you feel good."

16. "Make me."

17. "Stop teasing me so much."

18. "You're in trouble now."

19. "Take off your clothes."

20. "I'm waiting."

21. "First one to make a noise loses."

22. "Mine."

23. "We can't do that here!"

24. "Behave."

25. "What did you just say?"

26. "Come here."

27. "Watch me."

28. "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore."

29. "If you can't sleep... then how about we have sex?"

30. "Put that thing away!"

31. "Don't kink shame me." (Add what kink you want the character to have please.)

32. "If you interrupt me one more time, so help me God."

33. "I'm going to put clothes on before you say anything else."

34. "Tell me what you want."

35. "Bite me."

36. "If you insist."

37. "Could he make you feel as good as I do?"

38. "You're n-not, um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?"

39. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?"

40. "You fucking taste like candy."

41. "The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

42. "You make a sound and it's game over."

43. "Just let me finish this/ this level and I swear I will go down on you until you cum three times."

44. "If I have to stop what I'm doing, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

45. "I could just push your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice."

46. "I haven't even touched you and you're already this wet."

47. "Were you just masturbating?"

48. "U-uh...no, I was just..."

49. "Want some help?"

50. "Shut up."

51. "Why don't you come over here and make me."

52. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad."

53. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

54. "C'mere, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

55. "What? Does that feel good?"

56. "I'm not jealous! It's just... You're mine!"

57. "If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

58. "We have to be quiet."

59. " Tell me again."

60. "You have no idea how much I want you."

61. "Say it." ( This is another 'choose the kink' option)

62. "If you don't like my teasing, then why are you moaning?"

63. "Wow, I didn't realize you were that... flexible."

64. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you even met that asshole."

65. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work, love."

66. "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan... It was like a fucking melody."

67. "I really want to kiss you right now."

68. "Then do it."

69. "You're not taking me to bed, ever."

70. "Who said it had to be on the bed."

71. "She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind closed doors, she's latex and whips."

72. "Ah, he's playing hard to get. That's cute."

73. "For the love of fuck."

74. "Yep, that's me. I love to fuck."

75. "How do I look?"

76. "Would you reconsider if I was sober?"

77. "I'm sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if I try hard enough."

78. "Don't fucking touch what isn't yours."

79. "You don't need to cover up the bruises/hickeys."

80. "I'm not sure if it's a sexual thing or not."

81. "We're.......Just friends."

82. "Friends don't do this kind of shit!"

83. "How quickly can you cum?"

84. "There's people here."

85. "I know."

86. "I don't care what you do, just fuck me."

87. "Fuck you."

88. "I'm up for it if you are."

89. "Don't ruin the sofa."

90. "I'll just have to cum inside you then."

91. "Stop dancing like that of I'm going to cum my pants."

92. "I'm not going to touch you unless you beg."

93. "You can't tease me like that and expect not to be punished."

94. "I'm gonna strangle you."

95. "Is that a promise?"

96. "You look a bit tied you, want me to come back later?"

97. "Stop distracting me."

98. "Were you touching yourself?"

99. "I know their stuffed animals but doesn't it feel weird? It's like they're watching us."

100. "That's probably the faster I've ever done that."

101. "Please, remind me again why we're having sex behind a tree."

102. "I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that."

103. "We've been at it like rabbits, How are you still horny?" (ABO ish ask)

104. "It was so worth the injury though!?

105. "Saddle up, love."

106. "Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? 'Cause If you did, we're having sex. Right not."

107. "Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt."

108. "God dammit, now all i can think about is you licking my cock like that ice cream cone."

109. "If I have to pull over, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

110. "Do you think they can hear us through the tent?"

111. "Yes we can."

112. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

Tagging: @i-panic-at-the-disco

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 39)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33, 34, Lewis POV 5, Mystery POV 2, Lewis POV 6, Vivi POV 5

Part 40: here

...

LEWIS POV

Lewis comes to welcome the dark interludes which provide a brief reprieve from the parade of fake-Arthur-memories. The cold, empty silence is preferable to the increasingly dour scenes depicting the day-to-day struggles of fake-Arthur and fake-Vivi as they fail at dealing with fake-Lewis’s death. Not that either of them know about his death. Arthur doesn’t remember the cliff or the body snatcher, thinking fake-Lewis is alive and lost somewhere. Vivi doesn’t remember him at all. He’s been erased completely from her mind, leaving her confused and Arthur distraught.  Lewis has no idea how long he’s spent watching them struggle. The scenes come and go at varying lengths and changing levels of detail.  He must have lived through several weeks’ worth of fake-memories now. Months of Arthur’s life flit by, broken up into chunks. 

...

A conversation with Vivi, trying and failing to convince her that the other-Lewis had existed at all.

“Lewis…you know, Lewis. Please remember.”

“I’m sorry, I blanked out for a second there…what were you saying?” 

“Nothing. It’s nothing…”

“Oh shit…I was...how long was I out for this time?”

“An hour...You were gone for an hour.”

 “I’m sorry Arthur.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Was my fault…Mentioned something I shouldn’t have.”

Fights with Lance when the older man attempts to intervene and stop Arthur’s increasingly destructive behaviour.   

“This behaviour isn’t healthy.”

“What am I supposed to do!”

“Maybe, stop and actually think about this…” 

“Lewis is out there somewhere, and you want me to just give up!”

Hours spend online and in police stations trying to convince people to look for the other-Lewis. 

“Kid. You’re friend is listed as missing. We have alerts out in the neighbouring states and so far there’s been no word. Search parties, caving experts, were combing those old mine shafts for six days after you came in. There was nothing there.”

“Something happened there...something bad...if you would just...”

“The cave is just a regular cave. Those old mines are old mines. Nothing weird or spooky about them, just very easy to get lost in. There’s nothing more to be done so go home, eat a hot meal, get some sleep. If your friend shows up you’ll be one of the first to know. ” 

...

 It’s like watching a highlight real, only nothing about these memories is a highlight. He’s almost sure the fake-memories are selected and purposefully skewed towards negative experiences. Surely, even if this were real-it’s not real, it can’t be real-Arthur’s life wouldn’t be this bad without Lewis there.  

When the darkness falls away, transitioning into another memory, Lewis wants to yell out in frustration.

…

…

…

Lewis’s eyes open of their own accord and he’s looking out at the world, experiencing life from his friend’s perspective.

…

…

This memory starts with Arthur staring as a door handle, hesitating to pull it open. Lewis recognises it of course, he’s seen this door serval times, scattered in amongst the most recent lot of fake-memories. It’s the door to Vivi and Arthur’s apartment in Milton, faded green in colour and rusted around the hinges.

Arthur lets out a long breath which tranistions into a yawn, fiddling around with a set of keys with his one, good arm. Lewis tries not to worry when his friend drops the keys to the ground, hand slightly shakier than usual. Arthur probably hasn’t been sleeping properly. Not-sleeping is a running theme for this fake-memory-Arthur.

When the door does finally swing open, it is to reveal an irate Vivi. She is blocking the flat’s narrow entryway, her hands on her hips, expression creased into a scowl.

“In what universe does ‘I’ll be back early’ mean 11:30 pm?”

Arthur winces. Lewis can’t see his expression but his friend is probably grimacing. Most memories that feature both Vivi and Arthur involved an argument of some sort. Another form of torture for him no doubt. Seeing them struggle to come to terms with his disappearance was always a painful viewing experience. Lewis braces himself for some sort of emotionally charged argument, wishing he had the power to intervein. These fake-memories are some of the hardest to sit through.

“A lot of the guys in the lab work late hours.”

Vivi looks unimpressed, “And I suppose they’re all recovering from a recent amputation as well are they?”

“It’s been four months …It’s healed plenty.”

Lewis feels the echo sensation of pain as Arthur drops his bag to the floor, freeing up his remaining arm. Arthur lying to Vivi about his wellbeing is another common theme in these fake-memories. Vivi knows it too, Lewis can already see the tension in her shoulders.

“I’m fine,” Arthur tries to reassure, skirting around Vivi, avoiding eye contact. “The prototype for the new arm is almost done, we’re just waiting on the guys in programming to double-check some of the coding….”

“This new arm isn’t going to be worth much if you’re too exhausted to do anything with it.” Vivi interrupts angrily, following Arthur as he slinks past the small kitchen towards bedrooms at the back of the apartment.  

Lewis feels her grabs the back of Arthur’s shirts, pulling the other up short.

“I said I’m fin….wait.”

 Vivi drags Arthur to the narrow kitchen bench just big enough to fit two bar-chairs, ignoring his objections.

“Sit.” She orders, stopping over to the frig, pulling out a bowl and thrusting it into the microwave. The hum of the microwave makes the following quiet twice as uncomfortable. Even Lewis feels it.

Arthur clears his throat to speak and is cut off when the microwave lets off a loud ping.

Vivi all but slams the streaming bowl down in front of Arthur.

“You really don’t have to…” Arthur tries.

“Oh yeah? What did you eat for dinner?”

Silence.

“Lunch?”

“…”

“Because I only know you ate breakfast because I was there for it.”

More silence hangs between them.  

“Eat.” She instructs and glares until Arthur picks up the spoon. Lewis can feel Arthur shift in awkward discomfort as he starts eating. After living through so many of these fake-memories, Lewis is becoming an Arthur body language expert. 

“How was work?” Arthur breaks the silence, glancing at Vivi. She is sitting with her arms crossed, still upset, still annoyed. Lewis can read the worry fuelling her frustration clear as day. 

Her expression clears as she deliberately puts the issue of Arthur arriving late to one side, “Work was good. Duet is a real character but they’re nice and super knowledgeable when it comes to the occult and other supernatural stuff. They’re helping me research memory-related curses and whatnot. The first person, apart from you, who doesn’t think I’m crazy. So that’s a plus.”

“When my arm is fixed, we can hit the road and follow up on any leads you hear,” Arthur murmurs between mouthfuls and Lewis wishes he could face-palm because that is the exact wrong thing to say. Not for the first time, Lewis longs to be physically present so he can smooth over the sudden tension which spikes in the room.  “Or we could go before that…I mean…I don’t really need two arms.”

“It’s not urgent or anything,” Vivi responds with the forced cheer of someone holding back on speaking their mind. “I bleary notice that the memories are gone most days. Your arm is more important.”

 “Don’t say that,” Arthur stops eating to frown.

“Don’t say what? That I’m fine postponing the search for my memories for however long it takes you to get better?”

“That’s not…what I mean is that your memories are important.”

Vivi’s expression hardens, becoming terse, “Not more important than your health.”

Arthur tenses.

“My missing memories can wait,” She insists. “I’ve been doing fine without them. Especially now we live here and not in Tempo. I haven’t had a blackout since we moved.”

“It’s not just that…” Arthur retorts, frustrated.

“Then what.” Vivi snaps, almost yelling now, “Do you hear yourself speak?  ‘I don’t really need two arms,’…are you kidding me!  What could possibly be more important than your health.”

“You know I can’t tell you.”

Vivi lets out a long, frustrated breath, standing. “You promised, when we moved closer to the hospital labs, you promised that you’d make an effort to actually look after yourself.”

Arthur doesn’t respond as Vivi continues.  “When your arm is finished. When you look like an actual person and not a zombie. When we don’t have to have this conversation every day. Then we’ll go searching.”

The bar stool squeaks on the floor as Vivi pushes it back, “I’m going to bed. I’ve got work early tomorrow. You should sleep as well…when you’ve finished.”

A long silence stretches between his two friends, all the heat gone from the argument. Lewis can’t see Vivi anymore, Arthur’s vision is now fixed on his spoon which is resting on the lip of the bowl.

“I would tell you everything…if I could…” Arthur doesn’t look up. His voice is strained.

Vivi pauses in the doorway. “I know.” She sounds tired. Lewis’s heart aches. “That doesn’t change anything.” 

Arthur flinches.

A sigh and Vivi adds, “I better not find you awake in an hour because I’m going to set my alarm to check.”

“What?” Arthur finally looks up. “You can’t do that.”

“I can and will.”

“…but you just said you have work in the morning.”

“If you’re not gonna sleep then I’m not gonna sleep.”

“But….”

“Just the way it’s gotta be apparently,” Vivi finishes, strolling out of the room, leaving Arthur- and, through him, Lewis- to stare after her.

Arthur slumps, “God…damnit…” rubbing his eyes. There’s no anger to the word.

No matter how many times he’s seen Arthur and Vivi argue in the weeks and months following his counterpart’s death, it never got any easier.  They were both too stubborn for their own good. Arthur’s got a quiet, methodical stubbornness about him while Vivi is loud and abrasive. Mix that with emotional stress and an obvious concern for one another and the result was a whole load of tension. Lewis knows Arthur has low self-esteem and tendency to beat himself up and blame himself for stuff that definitely wasn’t his fault, but he’s never seen him this bad. It never seemed like that big a deal when both him and Vivi had been around to help.  Vivi too, he’s never see her so stressed and angry at seemingly everything.  Or maybe Lewis doesn’t know Vivi or Arthur as well as he thought he did. 

There is movement in the corner of the room and Lewis notices Mystery for the first time. The not-a-dog had been lying in the corner.

“What.”

Mystery just cocks his head to the side.

“I know you can understand me,” Arthur mutters, shifting with discomfort. Mystery doesn’t speak or do much of anything, trotting out of the room after Vivi. Not too surprising. Another trend in these illusions was that Mystery tended to just sit and watch.

Sometimes, Lewis wonders if he just imagined the whole ‘giant fox’ thing. His memories for the car park confrontation are fuzzy, he’d been in a lot of pain at the time and probably suffering a bit of blood loss. He’s lived through so many of these memories that the real would seams so far away. Then he remembers those shinning teeth biting into him, and very real physical pain. That was real. 

The real world was still out there. 

None of these memories were real. He had almost forgotten. 

“I’m not crazy,” Arthur murmurs, eyeing the dog uneasily before turning back to finish what’s left in his bowl. Lewis can’t read Arthur’s thoughts, but he suspects that his friend might be having similar doubts about Mystery’s true identity as well.

“I’ll find you, Lewis…”

For a second, Lewis thinks Arthur is addressing him directly before remembering that that’s impossible. This fake-memory-Arthur is addressing the ghost of a best friend he doesn’t know is dead. Lewis is only a passenger, watching life through Arthur’s eyes, invisible and stranded.

“I’ll find you …no matter what it takes. I’ll find you. And everything will go back to normal…”

…

…

…

The memory fades, darkening and Lewis is once again back in the dark.

...

...

...

“DAMNIT!”

He slams both fists into the ground, watching the darkness ripple under the impact. His yell doesn’t echo, swallowed by the nothing.

“Damnit…DAMNIT…DAMN IT ALL!”

Feelings of frustration and anger smother his hurt and sorrow. He growls, smashing his fist into the ground again. If this were the real world, he’d have to worry about bruising his knuckles or breaking his fingers. The void offers little in the way of resistance. 

“I GET IT, ALL RIGHT! They’re miserable…they’re struggling…I get the point!”

Nothing responds to his shouting. He’s alone. He shouts again, screaming into the void. He’s stopped questioning the motive behind what he was seeing long ago. They were illusions masquerading as his friend’s memories. Designed to hurt him as much as you can hurt a person without touching them.

“Just stop already!” He rages. Nothing responds.

 Fury, white-hot, is better than the creeping sadness threatening to drown him. Sure, being angry about things had never worked well for him in the past. He’d been a very angry child and it was only thanks to his adopted patents and then Vivi and Arthur that he’d put the unpleasant emotion behind him.

None of that mattered here. Here, in the dark, the anger is his only defence against the green bastard’s torture.

Lewis regrets not punching the asshole when he had the chance. He wishes he’d done a lot of things differently. Lewis continues yelling right up until the dark once again fades into another memory.

..

NOTE: Resurrecting this fic in anticipation for a possible new video maybe? One can only dream. Sorry if it reads slightly different, i’m a bit rusty.  

Part 40: here

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Dream SMP Good Omens AU Part 3!

There’s another chapter of the Good Omens AU! This one is Bedrock Bros, it’s on AO3 here, but also below the cut

Technoblade was determined not to care about Tommy. He lost that particular battle.

-----------------

"Let me get something clear. I'm not sure why you're here, or what you're planning, but I haven't survived as long as I have by giving strangers the benefit of the doubt.". Technoblade paced around his opponent, making every word clear.

"You may have been able to pull the wool over Phil's eyes, but I see through this whole game. 

You think you can show up in our home, learn our secrets, and report back to your boss, right? 

Well, mark my words: I'm going to find out your plan, I'm going to track down the guy you're working for, and I'm going to get you out of our lives.". He glanced back.

"Are you even listening to me?".

The opponent stared blankly at him through crib bars. Technoblade folded his arms.

"I'm starting to think you might actually be a month-old baby.". Phil walked into the room, looking exasperated. 

"Techno, are you interrogating the child again?"

"Listen, this orphaned child is hiding something, I know it."

"He didn't crack the first seven times you tried this. Just give it a rest, mate."

"I think I have the perfect negotiation strategy this time."

"Which is?"

"The threat of violence. Allow me to demonstrate.". He removed a sword from the wall and held it over the crib.

"Who do you work for?". Tommy looked at the blade like it was the coolest thing he'd seen in his young life and reached for it. Techno held it out of the child's reach. 

Phil, unamused, swooped in, took the sword out of his hands, and half-led half-pushed him out of the house.

"I think that's enough for today."

"But-"

"Nope!”

"Just promise me you won't trust him."

"I already don't, but it's my job to keep Tommy away from danger, and I think a sword qualifies."

"I wasn't going to stab a baby. It was an intimidation tactic, I was intimidating the baby.".

Phil apparently thought that was a ridiculous thing to do, and he closed the door, leaving Techno on the porch.

The new neighbors were out in their yards. 

The surly one two houses down with the business suit flipped him off as a way of greeting, while the strange guitar guy waved cheerfully, "accidentally" pointing a garden hose at the businessman in the process. 

Technoblade hadn't bothered to learn either of their names. He neither liked nor trusted them, but they weren't the most important issue at hand. 

No, the most important thing right now is figuring out how to end the Tommy Problem, so me and Phil can be unbothered and safe. I look after my family and no one else.

His days of living in our home are numbered.

-----------

Now, knowing your enemy is crucial to any conflict. 

So, when Technoblade wasn't maintaining the old secret identity, exercising Steve, or looking after his collections of books and bones, he was gathering intel. 

Unfortunately for him, babies were perhaps the most boring creatures in existence. 

They couldn't speak, they couldn't move around much, they didn't have any kind of personal philosophy to argue against. 

Even after two years of gathering information, he wasn't able to learn much about the thing's strengths, weaknesses, and motivations besides the basics:

Strengths: Phil's protecting him and might be a bit attached.

Weaknesses: A literal baby, untrained in combat.

Motivations: ??? An enigma.

He was a patient man, but two years of learning nothing was testing his patience. This was the only reason why he agreed to look after the toddler for an afternoon.

------------

Phil dropped Tommy off at Techno's house with very little prior warning. 

Techno hadn't been expecting to ever have to look after a toddler, even for a couple of hours, and he reacted to the idea with reluctance.

"Why can't Wilbur do this again?"

“Because I’m leaving to go look for him. I had a concerning phone call, and Wilbur might be in trouble with the law or something worse. It’s a long story, but could you please watch Tommy for a little while?”. 

Technoblade tried not to show his distaste for the idea of babysitting, and agreed. 

All I have to do is keep him alive and unharmed for a couple of hours, hopefully learning more about what he is and why we have him. I can do that.

As soon as Phil left, he found a notebook and pen. He was going to take copious notes to make this worth it.

-------------

1:32 PM: The kid has just been released into my house. He immediately tried to fall down the basement stairs. I stopped him, but he's on the loose again.

1:45 PM: Note to self, add Unlimited Energy to the strengths column.

2:00 PM: Another round of are all children like this, or is it a supernatural thing! He apparently has the capacity to scream for five minutes straight without breathing. This is because he's upset that I won't let him on the basement stairs, which he has decided is the best part of the house because I don't want him there.

2:04 PM: On the loose once more.

2:15 PM: It's like someone released a miniature earthquake into my house. This thing is chaos incarnate loose on the mortal plane.

2:28 PM: he may or may not have a knife

2:29 PM: Crisis averted, he does not have a knife anymore.

2:33 PM: It has now been over an hour. The child is alive, my sanity is not.

2:46 PM: Steve likes him. He's an impeccable judge of character most of the time, wonder what went wrong. This would be kind of sweet, if it weren't for the fact that Phil might see that I googled if polar bears ate children.

2:47 PM: Just to clarify: Steve has not eaten the child at the time of this entry.

4:19 PM: You know what really annoys me? The voices haven't helped at all with this. I'd assume one of you would have some helpful advice, but it's just "blood for the blood god" and "E". I know that I didn't become the blood god by saying "Yeah, that seems like a reasonable amount of blood", but there are other things in life.

4:23 PM: I think I finally figured out something. The kid likes fire and (again, is that normal for human children??) and I'm exploding things at a safe distance. He's entertained, I'm getting rid of my spare Molotov cocktails, this is fine. 

-------------

Techno put the notebook aside and lit another fuse. 

He looked up to the window, where Steve was curled up around Tommy, stopping him from going anywhere. 

He casually got out of the way of the explosion, let it happen, and ran back to the window nook in the house. Tommy was still grinning and staring at the crater in wonder.

I'm not completely failing at this.

At that moment, the doorbell rang.

Techno wasn't planning on answering it, but a certain guardian demon walked unsteadily into the house anyway.

Wilbur looked somewhat dazed, like he'd been through hell and back in the last three hours. One of his hands was hidden in his coat, but Technoblade was pretty sure he was covering a wound.

Tommy looked even more excited about seeing him than he was about the explosions, and he ran over, clinging on to Wilbur. 

Despite the state he was in, he smiled down at the toddler.

Techno waited to the side for an explanation, not sure of the right way to ask someone if they'd been in an alleyway shootout recently. 

Eventually, Wilbur looked up.

"If you see a man in a sonic onesie, kill him on sight."

"Heh?"

"Just some advice. Anyway, thank you so much for taking care of Tommy for these couple of hours, but I'm back."

"Wilbur, from what I can see you're going to pass out in five minutes. You're not going to look after a toddler."

"Excuse me, I haven't slept since the 19th century and I'm not starting now."

"What?"

"Ignore that. I sleep as much as humans do. The point is, I'm here to relieve you from your post.". 

Technoblade thought about it. 

On the one hand, the chaos gremlin would be removed from my house. 

On the other hand, it's just my luck that someone only shows up once I figured out how to kind of deal with the situation. 

Also, that guy's at least on Death's lawn if not his doorstep.

"I don't need you to swoop in and take the credit, but thanks. I've been handling this just fine on my own.". A puzzled expression flickered on Wilbur's face, but he eventually nodded.

"Fine. I guess."

"When you pass out in three minutes, try not to do it in the potato garden or the bush."

"Not going to do that, but sure thing.". With that, Wilbur slowly got Tommy to let go of him and left into the evening. Technoblade turned to the child.

"Alright, let's explode something else."

------------

A little later that night, a voicemail was sent to Phil.

"If you're still looking for Wilbur, you can stop. He's back, and he's not dead. I mean, he's not exactly dead. 

Apparently, he got into a gunfight with Sonic the Hedgehog. He's in", and there was a muffled crash, followed by a long sigh from Techno as he stared at the wall in disappointment.

"He's in the bush. Please collect him. Also, please collect your actual child, he's tried to chew on a skull. Thanks.".

--------------

Since the first time looking after Tommy hadn't been a complete disaster, Techno didn't object when he was needed again. 

After all, the more he learned, the more he theoretically grew closer to bringing their lives back to normalcy. 

So, he was like 8% of Tommy's childhood. He was no Wilbur, but the kid was still part of his life. 

Little traces of Tommy were everywhere in his house, except for the basement, which remained under lock and key. 

The walls were scribbled on, the fridge raided too many times to count, and action figures hidden in every corner.

Whenever he got the chance, he'd find a way to test the kid for some kind of supernatural ability. 

So far, Tommy was able to leave salt circles, touch iron and silver, didn't care when he cooked eggshells, and could absolutely enter places without being invited (in fact, that seemed like his favorite thing to do).

Technoblade was certain that Tommy wasn't human, but he had to admit that the likelihood of him being a spy was slim. 

He seemed like a perfectly regular child, or as regular as the circumstances allowed. 

Techno had met his share of liars and actors in his day (hell, his neighbors fit the criteria), but he'd never come across anything that could tell a lie that convincing.

-------------

One would expect the years to fly by for someone like Technoblade, since he'd seen so many of them. 

However, time had never sped or slowed for him. The years always felt like the exact same length of time.

Still, it was odd how fast Tommy grew up.

The years still felt like plain old years, no faster or slower, but it was a surprise when Technoblade realized that the kid was seven already.

----------------

Tommy liked comic books where the heroes won, so Techno hadn't expected him to like Greek myths. 

He'd only read them to him because he'd been demanding a story, and it was either the book of mythology or Sun Tzu's The Art of War. 

Seeing as Tommy was a second-grader, military tactics went a bit over his head.

"So, Hades decided to let Orpheus leave the underworld with Eurydice under one condition: He couldn't look back to see if she was following him. If he doubted the gods and looked behind him before they both reached the sun, he would lose her forever."

"That's dumb."

"The gods don't like being doubted."

"If he goes into the underworld to get her back, they should be able to leave without some trick!"

"Yeah, the gods are also jerks sometimes.". Tommy curled up on the couch, trying to turn the page to find out what would happen next. 

Techno had hoped that a story would calm him down, but his energy seemed even higher than before, since he was invested in the plot.

"Do they make it?"

"We're getting there. Orpheus walked back through Hades-"

"He walked through Hades?"

"Hades the place, not Hades the god. He named his kingdom after himself."

"That's not a good way to name a kingdom. I wouldn't want to live in a place named Tommyland, even if I did have a country. I should have a country."

“Tommy, you don’t want to run a government.”

"It isn't a government if it's all me!"

"That-That's absolute monarchy. That's worse."

"If you could, would you clone yourself? I would. I'd have a clone country."

"Do you want to find out what happens next in the story or not?". Tommy quickly nodded, and let Techno continue.

"Orpheus walked back through Hades, not knowing if Eurydice was behind him or not. He walked through the Elysian Fields, and the pits of Tartarus, and the endless wasteland of the shades of Asphodel."

"What's Asphodel?"

"Asphodel is where they put souls who weren't good or bad, but just kind of there. It's like the ancient Greek version of purgatory. They just stand in a meadow for all of eternity there."

"Sounds boring."

"It is. Anyway, Orpheus walked through all of Hades's kingdom. He could only hear his own footsteps and his breathing, and had no way of telling if Eurydice had followed. 

When he crossed the river Styx, he asked the ferryman if there was anyone behind him, but Charon refused to answer him. 

He got to the other side of the river, and all he had to do was walk through the tunnel to the surface."

"So he makes it?"

"We're getting there. Orpheus was almost to the surface, when things started to go badly for him in a special way. See, most Greek heroes are stopped by their hubris, but-"

"What's hubris?"

"Overconfidence. Arrogance. The type of person who'd try to take things from the gods instead of asking."

"Like Wilbur!"

"Exactly like Wilbur. But Orpheus was just built different. 

Instead of being overconfident, his fatal flaw was doubting too much. He trusted no one, especially not himself. 

So, just as he was about to step into the sun, he turned around to check if Eurydice was behind him. 

And she was. She'd been behind him the whole time, but when he gave in to his doubts and turned to look, she disappeared forever.". Technoblade closed the book. Tommy was quiet, picking at a loose thread on a cushion.

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's basically the story."

"That's not fair. He goes down into the scariest place in the cosmos to get back the person he loves, and then loses because he turns around a couple feet from the finish line?"

"He gave into his fatal flaw. That's how most of these work."

"Hades probably knew that was his fatal flaw. And he chose that test to make him lose.". Techno blinked. He'd never thought about it that way.

"I mean, that's probably true. Like I said, the gods are jerks.". Tommy seemed disappointed by that, slumping and burying his face in Steve's fur.

"Do any of these have happy endings?". 

Technoblade looked through the table of contents. 

Achilles dies. Jason dies. Bellerophon dies. Atalanta got turned into a lion. Heracles and Icarus and Meleager all die. Even Theseus dies in disgrace. Seems like everyone dies, except-

"Perseus turns out okay.". Tommy brightened up a bit at that.

"Can you tell me about him?". 

Technoblade found the right page and began telling the story of the man who got to go on a quest and survive. 

The whole time, Tommy had his head on his shoulder, staring at the illustrations. Techno's arm fell asleep after a few minutes, but he neither noticed nor minded.

---------------

If anyone asked Techno if he cared about Tommy, he'd laugh in their face.

Of course he didn't! There was still a plan to get rid of him, it was just....delayed.

Once he grew up and went to college, he'd technically be out of the house. Which meant that the plan would still have paid off. Still a partial victory on his part.

Anyway, he'd say in very clear terms that he didn't care about Tommy. He was just some kid.

A kid that spent a lot of time at his house. A kid that he'd seen grow up. A kid that obviously cared about him.

The same kid that he taught how to throw a punch when he got into a fight at school, and which heroes corresponded to which constellations, and to call him whenever he needed help.

He'd say that he didn't care about that kid. But, out of the many liars he'd met over his long life, he was one of the worst. 

And when Phil called him with a plan to make sure that Tommy stayed safe, he agreed, even though it would inconvenience him a fair bit.

Because above all else, Technoblade looked after his family.

[captain-emmajones]

Love, Emma (2/7)

(Art by the wonderful @carpedzem​ <33)

Loosely based on Love, Rosie (2014).  Killian and Emma are best friends and neighbors. They've always been -- until he leaves for the Navy when his brother dies. When he comes back, nine months later, summer has begun and childhood is ending. Emma can tell something is changed in him, but she doesn't know what. Until she does. He's fallen in love with someone else.

And then, suddenly, they're kissing on her nineteenth birthday. When she asks him to forget their night out, and never talk about it again, Killian thinks she means to tell him she regrets the kiss they exchanged. Except she has no memory of it.

Killian and Emma will dance around each other, until their heads spin and their legs hurt, and everything becomes blurry and it has to stop – for both of their sake.

Title is from Taylor Swift’s August – which clearly inspired the mood of this chapter. Had it on loop while writing, so if you feel like it, do try to listen to it while reading! 

Once again, a huge thank you to @profdanglaisstuffwho beta’d this and gave me very useful advice to tie the plot together! 

Friends to Lovers - Mutual Pining - Angst - Fluff - 6000 words - ao3

Part 1 - Mirrorball, Part 3 - Hoax ,  Part 4 - Peace, Part 5 - This is me trying, Part 6 - Cardigan ,   Part 7 - Invisible String

PART 2 - AUGUST. 

Present Day – 21st of June.

“—I’m really sorry Killian, it won’t happen again,” Emma’s words linger in Killian’s bedroom, long after she’s gone.

He is still lying on his bed, staring at his door, the one Emma escaped from. He stretches his bare feet over the lime green cover and frowns.

Well, once again, he got it all wrong. He really thought she meant their kiss. She really seemed to want him back.

His skin feels tacky under his fingers. He really needs to take a shower.

He finds a small blue plastic ball on his nightstand, and absently plays with it, swaying it in the air above his head.

“Bloody hell,” he whispers to himself.

An odd, nasty hand is gripping his heart. He’s not angry. He’s not even disappointed. He stopped hoping for something to happen between him and Emma a long time ago.

Except he’s lying to himself. Of course he is disappointed.

He called things off with Milah to give Emma and himself a chance, after these past months spent holding back from her. He was so surprised to find her this eager to be with him, once he got back.

He thought she would forget him over the year. He knows he desperately tried to. Milah appeared to be the perfect distraction.

Milah comes with a bigger cost that he is willing to pay, but that he only learnt a few weeks ago, over the phone. She finally confessed. It was a relief to find out he wasn’t being crazy or delusional. She has been seeing her husband again – the very same man she’s trying to get a divorce from.

He rolls his eyes, almost misses the ball. Milah is driving him crazy and he isn’t entirely sure she is worth it. At least, not when Emma’s green eyes look at him in the way he’s always wanted them to.

But that was a mistake, as well. Emma will never see him as anything but her friend. He made peace with that, when he left a year ago. It was too painful to hope, and with Liam gone, he couldn’t rely on Emma to be happy.

So he left, before she could leave him. It’s the most selfish thing he’s ever done, but he couldn’t, cannot bear to lose her.

Better to rip off the bandage straight away. Even if it leaves a wound over his heart, a wound that itches and burns.

His phone buzzes on his nightstand. He gives up the ball and stretches his arm to grab it. Twenty missed-calls. Milah must be freaking out.

And then, as hangovers usually go, his mind goes back to Emma. He cannot go on like this. He must know if she truly doesn’t want him back.

His fingers quickly find her name in his phone. Her contact photo is a picture of them both, from freshman year. They are sitting on Storybrooke’s carousel, near the beach. It’s fall. The wind is gently blowing their hair, as he hugs her from behind. She looks completely and utterly blissful, her head thrown back as a laugh crinkles her entire face. He is gazing at her, of course, he always has.

(He remembers Liam took the picture. The memory twists his stomach.)

It was so easy, back then, easy to love her and not want anything more. But the summer crush soon evolved into something more demanding – infatuation.

Killian presses her name. If Emma answers he’ll ask her.

He waits. For a long time. It is painful. But she doesn’t answer. And perhaps she does not want to. And then he gets a double call, and he knows before glancing at his phone who it is. M.

He reluctantly answers. “I hope you’ve got a whole script of excuses written down, Milah.”

He promises himself he won’t fall for her tricks.

He lies, again. Surely, Emma was wrong. Liam would not be proud of him.

(His eyes suddenly lend on the small, blue box on his desk. Bloody hell. He forgot to give Emma her present.)

.

A year ago, the 29th of June.

“Are you sure everything will be okay, little brother?”

Liam’s paternal tone sends angry shivers up Killian’s spine as he ties balloons around their front door. What an ass. Liam is very well aware that this nickname is, to Killian’s ears, the worst combination of two words.

“Aye. Don’t worry. You can go see Elsa in peace, brother.”

Killian shifts his gaze from the yellow balloon that’s also being a pain – just stick to the door! – to face Liam, standing in front of him with his hands on his hips.

Liam’s eyebrows are raised and it is difficult to know whether Killian is looking at his father or his brother. He winces. He’s going to get the talk, now, isn’t he?

“Alright. I expect to find this house standing when I come back.”

Killian swallows a very sharp answer. Liam’s entire life purpose solely relies on Killian needing him. Except he doesn’t anymore. He turned eighteen in February and he wants to see wider horizons than this bloody town. (The only thing – person – holding him back is Emma.)

“Don’t worry. It will stand just fine—”

“Great because…”

“— we don’t really need all of the walls, do we?”

Liam scoffs, visibly unimpressed by his sarcasm, and disappears once again into their home.

A home that is already filled by a smell of chocolate. After his last exam, earlier this afternoon, Killian made a cake – Emma’s favorite – to properly celebrate her birthday.

He hasn’t seen her in a week now, and for a very good reason: they all sat a horrendous amount of exams. Liam made sure Killian spent his week with his head buried in his books. Which is understandable, but also bloody unfair. (His life is tremendously boring without Emma Swan.)

Killian’s attention gets caught by Liam, coming his way again with a big, leather bag. He passes through the door and one hand finds Killian’s shoulder, presses it, as blue eyes delve into his.

“Be careful, Killian.” For once, Liam’s words seem really directed at him.

Killian simply smiles. “Always am.”

Liam grins as he nods and takes a step outside. “Do wish happy birthday to our roommate for me. She’s a good one.”

Killian rolls his eyes – what a nice way to remind him he probably shouldn’t invite Emma over all the time. Very Liam of him.

“I will. Safe car ride, brother.” With those last words, he goes back to blowing up the balloons.

It really takes a lot more effort than one might think. Emma will owe him a new pair of lungs by tonight. As he gathers all of his strength to blow up a pink balloon, he feels someone staring at him.

He looks up.

It’s Liam, in the car. He is waving at him, car window down. Behind him, the sky is distinctively blue.

Killian frowns but waves all the same. Weirdo.

.

“Alright. Everything’s ready,” mumbles Killian to himself, examining his living room.

He glances at the big clock on the wall. 8:15 pm. He is early, as per usual.

He shrugs his shoulders and dives onto his sofa for some relaxing me-time, getting out his phone. Emma has left him a text: “Leaving in 10, is that okay?” The thought of seeing her face warms his heart, and he quickly answers back: “Come whenever you want, I’m ready!”

As expected, the doorbell rings almost instantly. That makes him chuckle, imagining his Swan lass waiting in front of his porch – not wanting to bother him.

Emma didn’t have the happy childhood he did, with his brother and his father – although that did not last long. When they met, something was already irrevocably broken inside of her.

Chasing his memories away with a shake of head, he jumps to his feet and reaches the front door in a few long strides.

He opens with his heart drumming in his chest.

“Killian!” Her excited cry meets him as he discovers her outside.

She’s wearing a little black dress and white sneakers and her legs are already slightly tan, and she looks very, very pretty in front of this summer night sky and he must be blushing already.

Eyes open wide, it takes him a lot of willpower to exhale correctly. “Happy belated birthday, Swan!” He wishes he didn’t sound like he’s just run a marathon, but there is just so much a man can hope for.

Emma offers him a blinding smile. She’s the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.

“Thanks, Killian!” And then she shakes her wrist right in front of his eyes, and Killian’s horrified expression transforms into a soft smile. “And thank you for that, too.” The silver bracelet glints against her skin, “It’s beautiful, really.”

(He couldn’t bring himself to wait a week to give Emma her present. Thus, he dropped it on her porch on the twenty-first of June, with a small note: “Happy birthday, Swan. Love, Killian.”)

Killian is glad she does not ask further questions – because he would have had to justify the fact that this bracelet nearly cost him a hand. (Well, it did cost him two months of housework under Liam’s smug smirk, but it was definitely worth it.)

“Wanted you to have a proper gift for your eighteenth birthday,” he begins explaining but then she’s grabbing his neck and quite literally throwing herself into his arms.

He is quite out breath at first – Swan’s always been a little brutal in her displays of affection – but then he feels her fingers tangle in his hair and her breath gets deeper in the crook of his neck, and that is definitely very nice.

Come on, Killian, hug her back. His limbs seem to have turned to stone as he gathers all of his mental power to gently hold her waist. He allows himself to close his eyes, for an instant, as he inhales her perfume – a fresh fragrance of ginger and herself.

“—And thank you for organizing this party for me!” she beams as she backs away, and she sounds ecstatic, which is surprising considering how she reacted the first time he offered to organize it.

(It was a lot of screaming and great sighs and “but no one will want to come!” and, finally, Killian’s hands on her shoulders, “I promise, they will want to, Swan.” He was the one who came up with the idea of simultaneously celebrating the end of the school year and her birthday – so as to divert the attention from her – and it was all it took to, finally, convince Emma Swan to celebrate her birthday.)

“My pleasure, Swan. However, I am going to need you to stop thanking me. I already know how perfect I am.”

Oh, the look she darts at him. She’s all fire, Swan, with her fiery green eyes.  He cannot say he does not love every second of it.

“Can I come in now or are we going to stay here a little longer to admire your door?” And then she’s glancing down at his hands still holding tightly her waist, and he blushes furiously, taking them back in a heartbeat. “Nice balloons by the way.”

Her amused words are a cold shower over his shoulders. He shudders, clearing his throat.

“Jeez, do come in, Emma. Sorry. Got lost in my thoughts,” he mumbles very quickly, grabbing her hand to guide her in.

Staring at the white walls of his living room allows him to cool down a bit. Damnit. He cannot be bloody flustered anytime she talks to him. Emma talks to him a lot. She’s his best friend, for heaven’s sake.

“No worries, your door frame is really pretty, when you take enough time to notice.”

He glares at her, but it’s with a lot of tenderness. “Shut up, Swan. You know what I’m like when I have to organize things.”

When he shifts to face her, she’s staring at the decorations he’s taken so much time to prepare. Everything is calculated, from the distance between the HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign and the crisp bowls on the coffee table and the color of the napkins – yellow of course, Emma’s always been yellow.

“I know, Killian. But it’s just a party. You can relax.” And with her last words, her arms have wrapped around his neck.

She cannot tell, but it’s doing terrible things to his heart rate.

“Thanks, Emma,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and gasps. “Doctors hate her, she found the secret cure to anxiety.”

Oh, how satisfying it is to see her blush suddenly. Why should he be the only one suffering from the heat?

She frowns, her fist gently bumping against his chest. “You know what I mean, Killian.” He hears the tiny bit of fear in her voice.

And smiles at her. “Aye, Swan. I’m teasing you.”

And then he stares at her with a big, idiotic grin and she’s raising her eyebrows and – unfortunately for their little duel –  the doorbell rings. They both jump, establishing a respectable distance between them. He doesn’t want the others to talk more than they already are.

“Ah, got to leave you, Swan. I have to be a perfect host.”

She snorts next to him and dives an expert hand into an open crisp bag on the kitchen counter. “Do go ahead. Do your worst, Killian.”

He rolls his eyes. He hates her.

.

It’s nearly midnight, and everything is going very smoothly in the Jones house. It is nice to see it come to life once again, with all of his friends having fun there.

It distracts him from the void that reigns between these walls, if only for a brief moment in time.

Killian presses a bottle of coke against his lips as David explains to him his last soccer game and Killian is barely paying attention to him.

Oh, David is a very nice guy – in spite of the orange t-shirt he is sporting with confidence that night. Probably one of the best friends he’s made in high school. But it’s really hard not to want to divert his gaze somewhere else when David wears this kind of t-shirt, especially since Emma seems very invested in a girly talk back in the kitchen.

She’s trying really hard to fit in, he can tell, from the way she holds herself – arms crossed over her chest to protect herself, but feet towards the girls, eyes alert, grin impeccable on her face.

He really wants Emma to have other friends – beside him. One cannot rely entirely on someone else. It just will not work out, for her. She needs to distill her affection. Even if it means settling for somebody who wears Yoda on his chest at a birthday party.

“Excuse me, mate. Need some water,” he mumbles and David doesn’t look very concerned.

“No problem, dude. See you later,” and with those words he swiftly joins another conversation animated by Robin – a guy from Killian’s mathematics class.

Killian rolls his eyes at his social ease. It’s unfair. David can just jump from one conversation to another and always feels welcome.

Killian heads for the bathroom, glares at one couple – Zelena, brought by Regina from Physics, and some guy – smooching on the stairs.

And then he really doesn’t mean to pry on the girls in the kitchen – but his ears catch his name.

“And what about you and Killian, Emma?” asks Mary Margaret – David’s girlfriend of two years now – in an impish tone, and he hates her for it.

Something blocks Killian just behind the wall of his kitchen – a crippling, human desire to know. From where he stands, he is able to hear but cannot see or be seen.

There is something very heavy and green, down in his stomach. Fear.

He hears Emma’s chuckle. He’d recognize it anywhere.

“Killian? Nothing! We’re just friends.”

Her words should not burn like this. It shouldn’t feel like someone just ripped his heart out in front of him. She’s merely stating the truth.

“Oh, come on Emma. Everyone can see how close you guys are at school,” Mary Margaret will not let it go and Killian is almost tempted to jump in like a devil to put this conversation to an end.

There’s a silence then. It’s deafening.

The universe conspires to play a slow song at this very moment. Killian can feel his heart beat in his temples.

“No really,” Emma’s voice echoes once again. “To be honest, I’ve been crushing on someone else.”

Ouch. Lava seems to have been spilled in the vicinity of Killian’s heart. It burns. Killian’s hand is shaking as it finds the wall in front of him. He doesn’t know where to look. Nowhere seems fine. Everything is terrible and this place is too loud.

“Nooo! And who would that be?!��� Their voices are too loud.

Killian knows the answer before she utters the name, and he is cursing every god above. Not him, not him, not him, please, not him…

“Neal.”

Killian’s heart shatters on the ground. The din is unbearable. He needs to get out.

Why is he so mad? They’re only friends. Surely he knew that all along.

A summer breeze welcomes him outside as he sits down on his porch, and its softness is in sharp contrast with the way his hands shake as he clenches his jaw to hold back something much scarier.  

He takes his head between his hands. It feels like he will never be able to go back inside his house. Except he will, of course. Not only does he simply have to on a practical level – it’s his house after all –  but also nothing is really as unbearable as one thinks at first.

.

Later that night, when everyone is dancing and Emma is searching for his eyes in the crowd, Killian receives an unexpected call.

He is sitting on the couch, surrounded by David and Robin, when Liam’s name flashes on his screen. Something stirs inside of him. Killian presses their shoulders, “I’ll be back, mates” and abandons their card game for the tranquil solitude of the kitchen.

It gives him a good view of the party without being a part of it. Emma, Ruby and Mary Margaret are still dancing in the living room.

“Mr. Jones?” A voice answers him on the phone. It is not Liam’s voice. And it is very distant, as if from another reality.

His initial instinct is to think it must be a mistake. Liam must have lost his phone.

“Aye, Killian Jones. Where is Liam?”

He isn’t even concerned at first, because Emma’s staring at him suddenly and wrath circles his heart. He is so mad at her for not liking him, not like he likes her. And at the same time, his heart cannot help but whimper as she smiles at him, her green eyes creasing. He notices she has smeared her black dress. Clown.

“Your brother had an accident, Mr. Jones. His car crashed into a heavy goods vehicle, and he was hurt in the process—”

A chuckle escapes his throat. What are they saying? Liam is immortal, of course he will heal.

“Did he break an arm or a leg?” Killian snorts. His weary gaze notices the chips spilled over the counter. He will have to clean that up.

“Actually, Mr. Jones, your brother did not make it—”

Another nervous chuckle escapes Killian’s mouth.

He doesn’t know his body has started to react before him. He does not feel the tears that rush to the corners of his eyes, does not control the movements of his face as something very evil swoops down on him. The only thing he knows is that at some point Emma enters the kitchen and she’s frowning furiously at him.

“Killian, what’s wrong?”

His phone is still pressed to his cheek. The paramedic hung up five minutes ago. But he didn’t make sense, and Killian is trying to call him back.

“Nothing, love. Liam is trying to trick me.”

He always used to do that, when he was a little boy. Nine-year-old Liam would hide until Killian wept and asked Liam to find him instead.

He doesn’t know why Emma stares at him in a weird way afterwards, doesn’t know why her brows furrow and her chin starts quivering, and she stammers. “Is he alright?”

She doesn’t make sense then. Why does she sound so panicked? It will be fine. Liam is playing a trick on him, hasn’t she been listening?

“He’s fine, Emma, really, it will be fine—"

Next to the chocolate cake and the chips on the kitchen counter, Killian notices the pink vase holding the yellow irises Emma left on his porch earlier this week as a thank you for her gift. (There was no note with it, but a red ribbon was delicately tied to the flowers.)  

Killian doesn’t know then that Emma’s face starts to reflect the expression on his features. Doesn’t know she’s staring at him as he breaks down, doesn’t see himself suddenly kneel to the ground in a desperate attempt to feel something cold under his skin, to feel anything – anything but this earthquake inside of him.

When she kneels next to him, a shiver of horror shakes his shoulder. “Don’t look this upset, Emma. It’s your birthday party,” he quickly utters. He doesn’t want to ruin her party.

And then, it clicks. Just like that. One second of understanding, and his life as he knows it is over.  

Emma’s hand is suddenly very firm over his knuckles still tensed around his phone, and she forces him to let go. He doesn’t fight back. Death has already taken her reward.  

In his memories, she’s the one who breaks down into his arms. It’s not what happened. The truth is he collapsed between her arms, and she held him so tightly, and with such strength, it felt like she had been ready for this her entire life.

He’s unable to look away from the yellow irises behind Emma’s back as she clutches into him. They’ve started to wither. It makes him sad.

.

Present Day.

Killian waits for midnight to strike before risking a glance at her window.

No light in Emma’s room. It’s now or never.

Grabbing his keys, Killian quite literally runs to her house. He reaches her door like a lightning bolt, and just like that, drops her present next to Ingrid’s doormat.

(He leaves no note. Didn’t know what to write.)

.

Killian avoids Emma all through July and August, and he does so quite well – just enough for it to be bearable and not so much as to make her worry.

One afternoon, he heads for ice-cream at Ingrid’s but his blood freezes before he can get in. He expected Emma to be working, but surely not Neal Cassidy to be leaning against the counter.

Killian fists his hands. Why are you angry? You’re dating someone else, for fuck’s sake.

He doesn’t like Neal. Neal isn’t a good guy. Neal is a terrible idea, one he’s tried to shake from Emma’s mind for a long time now.

Killian steps to the side so as to not be seen, and examines the scene carefully. Emma is wearing the blue uniform. For all he knows, she has been helping Ingrid out in the shop since they graduated from high school.

Emma never did like school very much. It only made sense when she decided she didn’t want to go to college and chose to stay in Storybrooke until she figured out what she wanted.

Killian cannot see her face from his hiding spot, but Neal is all teeth out. His smile sparks fire in Killian’s belly. The air of this summer afternoon is uncomfortably dry and warm and grains of sand seem stuck down Killian’s throat.

Neal suddenly bends towards her, hands her a piece of paper –  his number, Killian gathers – and as Emma takes it, Killian’s gift glints around her wrist. (She added the charm he offered her. That alone nearly makes him suffocate.)

You’re dating someone else, his inner voice stammers.

When Neal reaches to brush a strand of hair from Emma’s face, it is simply too much for Killian. He turns back, his stomach twisting.

With one, heartbreaking thought in his mind – You’ve done this to yourself.

.

Late August.

Saying goodbye is incredibly bittersweet, this time. (So was last time but Liam had just died and it made sense.)

It feels a lot like they are both performing their friendship as they stand a foot apart, by the departure door.

There is so much bitterness in his mouth, on the tip of his tongue, in the rigidity of his muscles clenched around his heavy bag. Emma is tense too, won’t look at him, stares instead angrily at the departure board.

“Well,” his voice finally breaks the silence. It doesn’t sound like a voice, it croaks in the hall. “Time to say goodbye, Swan.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees her nod, blonde hair floating around her face. As he risks a glance at her, he begins to understand she is shaking.

She’s holding back tears. And his anger dissolves into the wind, becomes shame and guilt and tenderness.

He doesn’t want her to be sad.

He lets go of his bag, and grabs her hands, her bracelet ringing playfully as a hello. “Hey, Emma,” he whispers, murmurs her name cautiously to make her look up. She does eventually, and her eyes are bloodshot.

His hands cup her face. “It’s going to be alright, ‘kay?” She nods again, but her chin quivers. It’s killing him. He knows she thinks they wasted their summer. He thinks so too. He only fears they’ve wasted more than that. “We’ll text, and call, and I’ll even write you letters like in those goddamn movies of yours.”

The last part makes her chuckle, but that quickly turns into a frown. She’s determined to not let any tears slip out, but her eyes are working against her.

He traces her features with his fingers, her small nose and her freckles, barely brushes her lips, and he looks up to see a peculiar glint in her eyes.

The weight of unsaid words crushes their young shoulders.

He licks his lips, tries not to stare at her mouth too long. Instead, he leans his forehead against hers, and finds a bittersweet comfort when she wraps her arms around him.

“Come back,” she eventually mutters, her breath tracing the shape of his lips.

He swallows, holding himself back. And holds her tighter, buries his face in her neck, breathes her in. “I will. Always, Swan.”

Then, they don’t say it. They don’t say it but it echoes like a din between them. It’s heart wrenching, and childhood is definitely over.

Summer has never tasted this bitter.

His jaw is tensed as he lets her go to grab his bag. He does not expect her to hold him back, her fingers gripping his hand with strength.

When he turns to face her, she’s staring at him with eyes wide open and lips pressed together.

“I’ll come back, I promise,” he simply states, but she frowns harder and he can tell it is not enough.

Nothing will ever be.

He doesn’t say it then – let me go, Emma – but she hears it anyway and her palm opens abruptly, freeing him from her grip.

And he takes a step ahead. And another one. Until his legs aren’t so stiff, and oxygen finally reaches his lungs.

He doesn’t need to look back to know she’s staring at him the whole time.

.

Four years later – July.

Don’t get him wrong, Killian Jones has had his lot of fucking shitty days, but this one is clearly competing for the highest place on his podium of heartbreaks.

He presses a glass of rum against his lips, drinks it up in a few mouthfuls. David and Mary Margaret are sitting next to him and he is aware that they look genuinely concerned. But he is too mad to look at them. He’s furious, furious that their speeches about hope and “finding the right person” finally got to him.

He believed them – even if it was only for the five short minutes during which he ran like a fool towards Storybrooke’s town hall – he believed them.

Around him, everyone is disgustingly happy. He still feels sweaty in his white shirt and he cannot shake an infuriating strand of hair from his forehead.  

Running was pointless, of course. He was too late. Has been for years now.

From the corner of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of Emma in her white dress. She stands up, and for a moment his attention is caught by the bracelet around her wrist. There are four charms on it, four charms echoing the last years of their friendship. She is still wearing it, in spite of everything. It makes him sad.

But Emma isn’t aware of it, instead rings a spoon against her glass of champagne to catch everyone’s attention.

She is still the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

“Hello everyone. Thank you all for coming to our wedding.” The man at Emma's side, her husband snorts Killian’s inner voice, smiles and watches her with adoration.

And Killian is watching his life fall apart, as he does too often.

(It fell apart a long time ago, mumbles his inner voice, but he is too sober to be thinking about this.)

“I really, really couldn’t be happier to have you all here.” And then her eyes are on him and Killian wants to disappear.

How can she still look at him this way after all this bloody time?

He forces a smile on his face, nodding at her and mouthing “go ahead, Swan, you’ve got this.”

It gives her all the confidence she needs to give her speech, and she does it well.

The teenage girl he knew is long gone. A beautiful, confident woman stands in the middle of the room.

A woman he wasn’t bold enough to love properly.

Killian lowers his gaze as she goes on about how happy she is, how perfect everything is, and he wants to vomit and pass out and forget all of this.

But then he feels her stare at him once again, and he looks up to catch her eye.

Can she tell he’s been in love with her all along? He hopes so, because he will never utter the words now.

.

He definitely expects her to find him, as he sits outside on the balcony of the big mansion by the sea she rented for the ceremony.

The moon plays with the gentle salty waves. It’s one of his favorite views of the world. She knows it.

She takes longer than he thought, judging by the amount of rum he manages to gulp down, but she does find him.

“Hey, what’s up, sailor?” Her voice echoes, breaking the comfortable silence he found himself in.

He doesn’t turn back. He doesn’t want her to see him like this. He makes such a terrible friend, he should be happy for her. Happy that after a bloody bumpy road, Emma and Neal finally found each other.

He hates them for it.

“Not much. How’s the bride feeling?”

Summer crickets playfully sing behind them.

He hopes he doesn’t sound as bitter as the taste on the tip of his tongue. His fingers absently play with his flask of rum.

“Pretty good,” she answers back, and it’s not really the answer one would expect after such a wonderful wedding. “How…how is your hand?”

Oh right, this. The worst part about missing a limb is that everyone can see it, there’s no pretending it didn’t hurt, and they all stare at him with pity. It’s part of the reasons why he didn’t want to come to Emma’s wedding. (Emma didn’t stare, of course. Emma tried to mend him, but there was too much to heal.)

“Well, still missing, but generally good.” His words come out harsher than intended and he blames the rum.

“I tried to call you, to thank you for my birthday present. But you never answered,” she risks once again, and this time the little tremor in her voice makes him shift.

He is urged by a need to look at her, stare at her big, green eyes glinting in the dimness. After all this time, his heart still stops. How is that she still looks the same, only more beautiful, and he’s a wreck?

He paints another smile on his face, fingers clutching hard on his flask.

“I’m glad you liked my present, Swan. And I am, really, happy for you” he finally affirms. He says it because the whole universe expects him to and it is easier to divert her attention.

He really wishes he were good enough to sincerely think the words he utters. But he cannot.

He sees her shoulders fall just the slightest bit forward, as if she is relieved, and he can’t believe he genuinely fooled her. Perhaps she is just unwilling to fight. He cannot blame her.

“Good,” she exhales, smiles, turns a burning knife into his chest, “Because you matter to me. You know that, right, Killian?”

That hurts. It nearly knocks him out, and he has to hold on to the rail of the balcony. The cold metal beneath his fingers grounds him.

An unknown, mystical force – rum – suddenly pushes him to move towards her, against all of his inner principles. “I hope you know, Swan,” he begins, and he has gotten dangerously close to her. Closer than he’s allowed himself in weeks now.  He stares at her lips, shakes his head. She’s staring back just as intensely. “I hope you know how much I love you – ”

The words are out before he’s aware of them, and her eyes widen. Fuck. He thinks he sees panic in her eyes.

He’s quick to utter the end of his sentence. “—as my friend, my oldest friend, and I’m so glad you finally found your happy ending.”

He sees her glance go back and forth between his eyes, and he can tell she’s not breathing any more than he is. Fuck. He’s ruined everything again, hasn’t he?

Finally, a smile cracks her face open and he knows she does it for both of their sake. “Right. Of course. You’re my best friend, Killian.”  

And she reaches for him, for his good hand – touching his missing limb would have just been too much for both of them – and wraps her arms against his chest. He hopes he doesn’t stink. He very solemnly hugs her back, thanks the darkness around them for hiding the one tear that goes down his cheek. This is nothing like the embraces they used to exchange with a very desperate, very innocent affection years ago.

She’s touching him but she still feels a thousand miles away as he gently rubs her back, lost in her scent, and somehow it feels like if he tried, he could bring them back. But he cannot.

And when she backs away, his grip gets a little bit tighter around her knuckles, panic rising in his chest, and her bracelet rings one last time. He cannot lose her.

But she isn’t his to lose.

And then she smiles at him, and in that smile she reminds him there is no war to be fought anymore.

It kills him. “Go back inside, Swan. I’ll join you quickly,” he finally whispers and presses a kiss over her knuckles.

He would burn in hell to kiss her again. She won’t let him. That’s only fair.

Questions echo in her eyes as she gazes at him one last time, and he swears a gentle, pink hue colors her cheeks. The time for asking questions and pondering over answers is over, too. That was a long time ago. They never found any answers.

“Sure thing,” Emma eventually replies, and the few steps she takes to disappear into the night leave him boneless.  

She did not look back. Of course not. She never looks back, now. (He left her hanging with her eyes twitching too long for her to ever look back again.)

And he is stuck looking at the door behind which she disappeared, wondering if he could have held her back.  

If he could have held them back.

[theheroheart]

New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete:  “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him.  (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.

[factoffictionwriter]

Tiva Fic Amnesty #6

Ziva ran a hand across his back as she moved behind him and exited the bathroom. He heard her mumbling to Tali in the other room some phrases in English, some in Hebrew. Then he heard a hollow thump followed by few seconds of silence. 

“Tali? What do you have there?” 

More silence. 

Then a breathless, “Oh.” 

His heart stopped as his brain worked through what was likely happening just 15 feet away from him. He pushed off the counter and moved out of the bathroom at a painstakingly slow pace.

He was right. He saw Ziva sitting on the bed, Tali in her lap, staring down at one of her hands. He didn’t have to look any longer to know what she was holding. The surprised look on her face said it all. 

“Abba!” Tali squealed, alerting her mother to his presence. 

Ziva’s head whipped around, her mouth hanging open slightly as she watched him move to sit beside her on the bed. 

“I knew I should have hidden that better,” he mumbled. 

Her eyes drifted back to the black box in her hand, open and letting the light dance off the diamond. 

“It is beautiful.” 

He grunted, “Well, I knew I had some high standards to meet. It was you who told me never to question an Israeli about diamonds.” 

She didn’t respond, and he started to wonder whether she was even listening to him. 

But suddenly she snapped the box shut and held it out for him.

“Here. I’ll let you hide this again.” 

“Huh?” 

“I’ll be sure to act surprised next time I see it.” 

“Next time?” 

“Yes, Tony. I know you. You must have something planned.” 

He looked down at the box as he moved it from one hand to another, “I do.” 

“And I don’t want to take that away from you.” 

He looked back up and found her watching him, her eyes clear and honest.

He chuckled slightly, looking away again under the weight of the situation, “It involves champagne. And some ridiculously expensive dinner reservations.” 

She smiled, “Sounds like fun.” 

He watched as she adjusted Tali on her lap, moving her around so she could brush extra curls out of the little girl’s face. He kept watching them for a minute, seeing the gentle way his girlfriends hands moved and jostled their daughter. 

He finally shook his head, shifting his body off of the bed and moving to kneel in front of her. 

“I don’t want to wait. I want to do this now.” 

She tucked a patch of curls behind her own ear, peering at him through those impossibly long lashes. A smile spread across her face that reinforced everything he had been thinking over the past few months. It made every second of their decade long love story worth it to see her look at him the way she was right now. 

She picked Tali up off her lap and set her gently on the bed beside her. She leaned forward, letting him grab her left hand and hold it gently between them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting her shoulders rise and fall dramatically before meeting his eyes again.

“Okay,” she whispered, “I’m ready.”

He licked his lips as he dug through his brain, accessing the monologue he had been rehearsing and editing for two years, making it perfect for the day when the time was right. 

“Miss David,” he started, the corners of his mouth curling upward as he realized this could be one of the last times he called her that. With any luck, she wouldn’t be a Miss or a David for much longer, “If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would be here today, on one knee in front of a woman as strong and beautiful as you, I would have laughed in their face. If they had told me that woman would be you, my hot israeli partner with a steely eyes and a knack for knives, I would have blown a blood vessel.” 

She laughed, and the sound sent a wave of calm over his body.

“But, by some miracle, I am here, and so are you, and we have been given an entire decade of memories to prepare us for this moment. Sure, they haven’t always been good. We once got locked in a metal box of death together - twice actually if you consider the elevator. And then there was the time I shot your boyfriend.”

“In self defense,” She interjected, knowing that decision and the events afterwards still weighed on him, though he would never admit it. 

“Of course. But then came Somalia, and a summer from hell when I thought you were dead, followed by months of you thinking you would rather be.”

She winced at the memory. 

“But you got through that. How, I still don’t know, but you did.” 

“You played a big part in my healing afterwards,” She reached out and ran her fingers along his jaw, “I could not have done it without you.” 

He smiled and squeezed the hand still resting in his, “That’s sweet, but I’m not so sure it’s true. You’re strong, Ziva. Stronger than the rest of us.  And you’ve been through so much in your short 33 years, and you still manage to light up every room you walk in to. You have every reason to hate the world, and yet you still choose to be happy.”

“I have many reasons to thank the world as well, Neshama,” she tilted her head towards their babbling toddler who clearly had no idea what was going on, but still felt the need to be a part of it with her mumblings. 

“Yeah, I’m getting to her. But first, not only do you choose to be happy, but for some reason you choose to love me. And as if that alone isn’t enough, you choose to let me be a part of your life, of our daughter’s life.” 

“She is your daughter, Tony. I can hardly take credit for that.” 

“But you didn’t have to tell me. You were half a world away when you found out you were pregnant. You could have stayed in Israel and raised her yourself. But you didn’t, and I don’t thank you for that enough. This - Tali, this house, our life together - is everything to me. And you have given me all of it. You’re my best friend, Zi. My partner. The love of my life. My Beshert.”

Her smile grew at the Hebrew word: soulmate. One made specifically for him. Her mind flew back to what felt like a lifetime ago in a dimly lit break room, both of them retrieving snacks for what was looking like a long night of research, when she asked him if he believed in such a thing. His answer had been in jest, as all his answers back then seemed to be, and she had grown annoyed with his coping mechanism already, causing her to walk away before he had a chance to give her a better one. She didn’t know him well enough then to know she should have stayed a few seconds longer and let him get serious. He always got serious eventually. She absently wondered what would have happened if she had waited. What would he have said? Was he as aware of the gravity between them as she was, even back then? Would they have closer to 8 years of love under their belt instead of only 3? 

“We have grown up so much over the years, and I can’t help but think we were growing together the whole time. And now, well, all I want is to grow old with you,” he pulled the small ring out of the box and held it up, “This was my mother’s” 

She nodded, “I thought it might be. It seems she always had great taste.” 

He slid it onto her finger and twirled it around, “Looks like we need to get it resized.” 

She placed a finger under his chin, drawing his attention up to her face, where he saw a look of excitement and growing impatience, “You have not asked the question yet, Ahava.” 

He chuckled, looking away to hide the blush rushing to his face, “Right. I got excited..” 

He pulled her hand closer to him, the ring still on her finger, shining in the low light of their bedroom at night, “Ziva David?”

“Yes?” She beamed down at him, the same look of pure love and affection in her eyes that he saw the day Tali was born. 

“Will you marry me?” 

Tears threatened to breach her eyelids as she looked down at their joined hands. She opened her mouth to answer-

“Muh!” Tali chimed from her spot on the bed where she had managed to turn herself over into a crawling position. 

Ziva turned to her, “What do you think, Tali? Huh? Should I agree to marry your father?” 

“Abba!” she wiggled her way into her mother’s lap, forcing their hands apart, “Abba!”

“I think that was a yes,” he laughed as Tali reached for a handful of Ziva’s curls. 

“Well,” she started as she fought to free her hair from the toddler death grip, “Who am I to disagree with such a sweet face, huh?” 

Tony stood, finding a spot on the bed next to her and reaching for her, running a hand up her cheek and into her hair, gripping the strands much more gently than their daughter had, “So?” 

She smiled, “Yes, Tony. I will marry you.” 

He pulled her lips to his hungrily, jostling the toddler halfway off her mother’s lap.

Ziva caught her effortlessly, not even breaking their contact. Her lips moved against him eagerly, and he started to see the downside of proposing during a late night rendezvous with their kid in the room. However, the proximity of the bed had the potential to be a real convenience. 

Tali did not agree. In fact, she had moved herself to a standing position on Ziva’s legs and was now clawing at their joined faces. They pulled apart reluctantly, glancing down at their daughter as she leaned out toward Tony and tried to press her tiny lips against his. 

He leaned into her and gave her a quick, dramatic kiss before reaching over to take her onto his lap. She laughed, always happy to be closer to her father, and he sat her down with her back against his chest as she pulled at the hair on his arms. 

Ziva sighed, though the annoyance in her voice did not make it to her face, which was still beaming at the two of them, “Always the daddy’s girl, huh? Well, I’ll have you know, he was mine first. It is you,” she tapped Tali’s nose lightly with her pointer finger, causing the little girl to laugh joyfully, “who stole him away.” 

Tony smiled, securing his daughter on his lap with one arm and reaching out to his girlfriend- no his fiancee, with the other, pulling at her waist to get her to inch closer. She did so happily, ducking her head to rest on his shoulder, her warm breath causing goosebumps even through his cotton t-shirt.

[mageicalwishes]

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (On Tumblr): here

Summary: “I’m egging your house for a dare, but you’re parent is a cop and now they’re yelling at me, so I told them you were my ex and you wronged me, and now you’re coming outside, so please just go along with this, I really don’t want to go to jail” AU When Simon Snow agreed to egg some posho’s house, he never thought he’d find himself here - The only thing standing between himself and a criminal charge, the word of a handsome stranger.

Chapter: 5/7

Words: 2,079

Not the most eventful chapter, sorry! But TRUST ... The next 2 chapters are worth it :)

Simon

After last week, me and Baz quickly fell into a routine of texting whenever either of us were free. It was the first thing I did in the morning, and the last thing I did at night (I even found myself waking up earlier, just so that we could speak more). It was a little bit pathetic, really - But, I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

We spoke about everything - Our likes and dislikes, our childhoods, our favourite sports teams, our other friends - You name it, we spoke about it. Well … Everything except what happened last time. We never spoke about that - Although, I figure that, that was probably for the best.  

So, it’s really no surprise that, the second I settled down into the booth to eat, I pulled my phone out and messaged him.

ME (15:19): Hey, hey, hey, Bazzy Bitch!

ME (15:19): How are you doing? :)

BP (15:21): Snow, I am genuinely BEGGING you to stop with the nicknames. Bazzy Bitch … Really? That's atrocious, even for you.

BP (15:22): And, I’m very well, thanks. Yourself?

ME (15:24): Good :) I’m great, thanks!

ME (15:24): And I’m never gonna stop with the nicknames. Never!!!! Not until I find one you like anyways ;) I’ve got a WHOLE list imma work my way through!

ME (15:25): I’m back at the Pizza place we went to together!

ME (15:25): I even got free chips this time :D

BP (15:26): Oh wow - I’m seething with envy. Free artery-clogging chips AND greasy pizza … What a gift!

BP (15:26): And ALL of that, on top of your chocolate pancakes this morning? Your internal organs must be thanking you!

I scoff, aloud, stupidly pleased with his grating wit.

SS (15:27): OI!

SS (15:27): Don't be a sarcastic twat!

SS (15:27): You LOVED the food there. You were practically drooling over it!

SS (15:28): Don't even TRY and deny it!

BP (15:29): It was adequate.

SS (15:28): Exactly! See! You loved it!

SS (15:28): Adequate is Baz talk for “It was the most delicious thing I’ve EVER eaten!”

SS (15:29): You’re just winding me up!

SS (15:29): If you REALLY didn’t like it you’d go all OTT using posho insults … NOT say it was adequate.

SS (15:31): You’d be all like … “Oh, Snow. This is positively ghastly! Atrocious! Lamentable, even! My private chef would never DARE serve me an abhorrent dish!”

BP (15:33): Sure, Snow. Whatever you say.

SS (15:34): You know I’m right! You just don’t wanna admit it.

SS (15:34): Cuz you’re a right dickhead :p

BP (15:35): How rude! I’m hardly a dickhead … I didn’t even make you admit how many of those words you had to Google, Snow!

I roll my eyes (Even though he can’t see them), and type out a simple, yet effective, response …

SS (15:34): Wanker!

Baz

Despite myself, I let out an unnecessarily loud laugh - Helplessly charmed by the idiocy of it all. I mean, seriously, only Simon Snow could call me a wanker, and leave me giggling like a bloody schoolgirl!

Regretfully, my little outburst draws Daphne’s attention away from the twins (Who appear to be trying to kill each other with Lego Duplo blocks), and straight onto me.

“Who are you talking to then, Sweet?” She asks.

“Just a friend,” I snap, my tone far too urgent.

“Okay,” she drawls, clearly having picked up on my unnecessary defensiveness. “Who?”

“Uh - Simon. Nobody you’d know. They’re sort of a new friend.”

“Oh I see. Did you meet him at the club?”

“No,” I snicker (Struggling to imagine somebody like Snow belonging somewhere so unnecessarily snooty, and uptight). “I just … Met him in town the other day. At the cinema.”

“Oh well, that’s nice,” she beams.

“Yeah,” I drone. “Very nice.”

She stares over to me, her full lips quirked up into a soft smile, and her deep brown eyes studying my face closely. She knows. Obviously. She always knows - Bloody mother’s intuition!

“And … Is he …”

She doesn’t have to ask properly, because I know what she’s trying to say.

Daphne has always been accepting of my sexuality. Although, it’s more than that, actually - She’s always been fully open to the idea of it (Not just reluctantly tolerant). Occasionally enquiring about whether I’ve been seeing “Anyone special”, and insisting that I must invite him over for dinner (Even after I tried to tell her that no such person existed). And I just know, that she was behind that infernal “Same-sex sexual education” pamphlet, I found on my bed last summer (It was actually fairly informative, although, I’d really rather have just sought out the information out myself. The humiliation of knowing that she’d read that with me in mind, made me want to set myself on fire).

So, the words that go unsaid when she asks if Simon is …  Are 'Your boyfriend'.

“No,” I sigh. “He’s just a friend. Honest.”

'Just a friend' … The words twist in my mouth, bitter and scornful. And, while it is technically the truth, it feels like a lie.

“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious,” She shrugs. “But … It’s lovely to see you smiling. I’m glad that you found him - Friend, or otherwise.”

“Yeah,” I huff, scrubbing my hands together awkwardly. “Actually ... About Simon. I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you think that he could come over next Friday? For dinner.”

“Of course he can!” She grins. “I’m always telling you, you can invite people over. As long as it’s okay with his parents, that’s perfectly fine by me.”

“Okay. Perfect,” I sigh, pursing my lips, in an attempt to suppress my telltale grin. “Thank you.”

She smiles - Sweet and warm. “Of course.”

“But, just to warn you - He has quite an early curfew,” I stammer. “So - I mean, he has to be back home by eight. So, we may have to have dinner a little early. Is that … still okay?”

“Well, it’s not ideal, but I’m sure I can sort something out.”

“Okay,” I breathe, relieved. “Sorry. I would order a takeaway, or something, but I sort of promised him a homemade meal. The food at his place isn’t exactly the best, and yours is objectively delicious … So, I figured that he'd appreciate a proper meal.”

“Oh you little flatterer,” she says, laughing demurely. “I’ll figure something out, don’t worry. If worst comes to worst, he could always just stay the night - That way we could have dinner at a normal time, and you two wouldn’t have to rush yourselves.”

And there it is - Two whole days with Simon Snow, served up to me on a silver platter. Daphne truly is a superior stepmother.

“Okay. Yeah,” I stutter, my face flushing absurdly. “I mean … I’ll check if he’s allowed, but that would be great. Thank you.”

She smirks lightly, shrugging her shoulders casually (As if she hasn’t just made my entire month). “It’s no problem. It’ll be nice for you to have some company.”

Elated, I scoop up my phone and fire out a quick text to Snow. But, before I can hit send, I remember - Father.

“Uh - Daphne,” I mumble. “Actually … I was going to ask - Do you think that you could not tell Father?”

Her face folds into a frown - Her eyebrows falling, and her eyes squeezing shut, as though pained by my request.

“Basil,” she sighs. “If that’s really what you want, then of course I’ll keep it a secret. But, your Father doesn’t care about you having friends over. Even if they’re boys … Even if they’re more than just a friend -”

I scoff, unconvinced.

“- He loves you Basil. I know it. He talks about you all the time - How proud he is of you, how smart he thinks you are, how much you remind him of her. He thinks the world of you … Even if he refuses to show it. And, I know that he didn’t exactly respond well to your coming out, but he still cares for you. Trust me, I understand that it’s desperately unfair that you should have to wait, but … He will come around. Even if I have to drag him there kicking and screaming myself! You don’t have to hide yourself away in your own house. I don’t want that for you. He doesn’t want that for you.”

I scrunch my face up, unsure of what to say.

“It isn’t that,” I murmur, my voice frustratingly weak. “I just … I don’t want him to know. Father has sort of met Simon before. But ... He didn’t exactly make the best first impression. So, I’d rather he not know that Simon was here.”

“Oh?” she chuckles, her curiosity peaked. “What did he do?”

I falter, gawping at her stupidly. “The egging … That was Simon.”

She grins wickedly, clearly amused.

“But it was just a joke!” I continue. “He’s a really, really nice guy once you get to know him. And, he’d never do something like that normally! It was just a stupid game that went a little too far. And he was super, super sorry - He came back to clean it, and everything.”

“Okay, okay,” she chuckles. “We all make mistakes, Basil. I won’t hold it against him. But … You’re right - It’s probably best if we keep Simon away from your father. Don’t worry, Sweet. Your secret’s safe with me.”

————————————————————————————

Simon

BP (15:51): Good news, Snow - You’ve been invited to dinner. Friday. My place. Sound okay?

BP (15:52): And, don't worry, Father is in Oxford over the weekend, so you’ll be perfectly safe.

I smile down at my phone, ecstatically happy.

ME (15:52): Haha defo :D

ME (15:52): Dinner sounds great!

ME (15:53): What time did you want me to come over?

BP (15:54): I was thinking 11am-ish. That way we could spend the entire day together.

ME (15:54): Okay yeah. Sure :) Sounds fabbbb.

BP (15:57): Yes.

BP (15:57): Actually, speaking of spending the day together - My stepmother said that you could stay the night, if you’d like. That way you wouldn’t have to stress about being back in time for your curfew. Forgive me, but I’m not entirely sure whether you’re actually allowed to go to sleepovers - But, if you are, then you’re more than welcome to stay.

BP (15:58): And, we’d be in separate rooms, and everything. Obviously. So you don't need to worry about that.

I wasn’t really worried about that, to be honest. I can imagine much worse than spending the night with Baz. Although, I won’t tell him that - That is definitely far too forward.

BP (15:58): And if you’d rather not, then that’s fine obviously. It’s just an option.

Exhilarated - A manic grin breaks across my face, my cheeks aching with the force of it. If anyone were to look up at me right now, they’d probably think that I was mildly demented (Although, to be fair, I’m not entirely sure that I’m not - I do feel slightly mad with it all).

Irritatingly exposed, I slink off to the bathroom for some privacy.

ME (16:00): Of course I’m allowed to go to sleepovers, you plonker! It’s a children’s home … Not a prison.

BP (16:01): The strict 8PM curfew suggests otherwise.

ME (16:01): Aha lol true :D

ME (16:03): But nah, seriously. I’ve never actually been to a sleepover, but I’m pretty sure I just have to, like, ask my social worker. They’ll probs need to do some sort of check, and then I’m good. They’re normally fairly chill about that kind of stuff tbh, as long as you ask. And, I’m 17 now, not 6 - So I doubt they’ll have a problem with it.

ME (16:04): They might need your parents number, though. Just to like … Call and check I’m not just bullshitting them :’)

ME (16:04): Dunno. I’ll go ask them in a sec.

ME (16:05): But if they say I can, I defo wanna sleepover.

ME (16:05): It'll be nice not to have to run off after a few hours for once :)

BP (16:07): Definitely.

BP (16:07): Enough chatting, though, Snow. Go and ask, before you forget! I need definitive answers ASAP! Chop-chop!

ME (16:05): Alright, alright! Keep your wig on, you impatient git! I’ll go and ask now. So … Ttyl :D

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 42

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope you enjoy this! i really hope its worth a read! please send me requests for the few chapters left. i have the last chapters totally planned and they cant really be changed, but i can add a few things in them. as for the next few chapters, just send me anything you want for them!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! :  i changed it a bit i hope its ok! i used an other request for the chapter but it was part of many requests in the same ask so im not adding it in case i use the rest too. basically, it says “Louis being upset at losing his roommate”

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 42 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 21st, 2018

I was happy that Dylan hadn't asked Heidi to be there the next day since we were about to film the scene I feared the most. Niall had a few things to do but he told me he'd join me a bit later on the set. If I wanted to be honest, though, I was sort of happy he was not there, if only because this scene was going to be tough to play and knowing he would be there when I was filming it would make me even more nervous.

I jumped slightly when someone knocked at the door and walked to it with a frown. I had decided to eat in my dressing room if only to be alone and try to get back in those horrible feelings I had when Niall broke up with me. I remembered the rain, I remembered running away, I remembered the way he was looking at me and the way my heart twisted in my chest, feeling like it was stuck in a vice. I remembered the tattoo I had just got of a heart around his name, on the skin of my back, and how much it seemed to burn. I remembered running to Louis and crying with him. I remembered everything of that night. It was so vivid I felt like I would never forget. I knew this memory would never be blurry, I knew I'd remember every fucking second of it for the rest of my life.

When I opened the door, Dylan looked up, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized how vulnerable he looked with his sad eyes and his hands in his pockets. I was used to the confident and funny man who had been my rock for so many months. Now he looked exhausted and hurt.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded and licked my lips, moving away to let him in and I closed the door as he turned around to face me. We remained in front of each other just staring in each other's eyes until I moved my arm to show him the couch.

"Please, sit."

We kept silent for a few more minutes after sitting down and all I could hear was my heart thumping against my rib cage. I didn't know why he was there and I didn't want this conversation to turn bad. I knew what kind of person he was though and I knew it would most likely not end up in screams and insults, but he was with Heidi now, and I knew what she was capable of.

"I'm sorry, Olivia." he finally let out with a sigh before rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry for bringing Heidi here yesterday. I mean, I didn't even invite her she sort of... invited herself. But that's not the point, I mean I knew how you felt about her and I promise I didn't do that to piss you off, or make you uncomfortable."

My lips parted and after a while, they curled slightly. "I know, don't worry about it." I just shook my head a bit. "But Dylan, are you serious? I mean Heidi? Really?"

"Does it bother you?" he asked with a sad smile as he looked up.

"No, it doesn't. You can date whoever you want it's just... I'm surprised. After all you said about her... After all we said about her." I corrected myself. "Just be careful okay?"

"Liv," he chuckled, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not gonna marry her. She just... eases the pain, I guess. Some sort of a rebound."

"Basically, you two fuck."

This time, he laughed and leaned against the couch. "Pretty much." he shrugged and put his gaze into mine, his smile faltering a bit. "She's no you, but she's not bad looking when naked."

This time, I let out a loud laughter that made him smile more. "As long as she keeps her mouth shut, maybe!"

"Yea, that doesn't happen often, unfortunately."

I laughed again and rolled my eyes before tilting my head and pressing my lips together, staring at him some more. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Dylan."

"No, I'm sorry." he lost his smile and closed his eyes for a few seconds before moving closer and leaning his elbows on his knees. I frowned, a bit stressed about why he was acting like that but when he sighed again, I held my breath. "I'm the one who told her. About you and Niall. I told her you cheated on me and that I said it was okay, and she asked when it was and she just.. connected the dots. It's my fault she made that instagram shit. I hope you can forgive me."

I swallowed hard still looking at him. I couldn't really blame him and I was a bit surprised that I didn't think that he could be the one who told her, especially after seeing them together a few days before. It was so obvious now and I mentally slapped myself for being an idiot.

"Done." I just replied with a small smile. "Anything else I can help with? World Peace? Starvation in third world nations? Anything?"

He laughed and sent me a small smile as I became more serious. I didn't want us to be on bad terms and yes, it felt weird to think that only a few weeks ago, we were supposed to get married, but we both needed to move on from that.

"Heidi and I we just... bonded over the fact that we felt betrayed, and we were sad and hurt, you know? We won't spend our lives together. I don't have feelings for her I'm just.. trying to move on."

I stared at him again, keeping quiet for a few minutes, not wanting to say something wrong. We had had good moments together, and I couldn't pretend I didn't miss him but at the same time, I didn't miss the love relationship we had. I was with Niall and no one else made me feel like he did. No one else ever did make me feel like Niall did, not even Dylan, whom I was ready to marry.

"I really hope it works, Dyl." I sent him a fond smile, tilting my head. "You deserve the best."

                                                      ----

May 22nd, 2018

What woke me up in the middle of my nap in the afternoon was a soft piano melody and before my eyes even opened, my lips curled into a fond smile. I put my pants on and got out of bed, following the music and yawning a bit on my way as I tugged at my hair. When I entered the living room, Niall looked up and sent me a smile as he kept playing and finally licked his lips, taking his hand away from the keys and raised his eyebrows.

"How did sleeping beauty sleep?"

"I don't know about her," I started with an other yawn. "but I slept very well, thank you."

"I was talking about you, silly!" he chuckled. "You sleep all the time, and you're beautiful. This is now officially my new nickname for you."

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted as he laughed. "If you call me that, I'll start calling you Neil."

I smiled when I saw him grimace and finally sat next to him on the small bench, facing the piano. I've always wanted to play and at the same time, i loved watching Niall play. If only I could be as talented as he was in something... anything, really.

"You're so damn good, I swear, I'm jealous."

"My piano skills are pretty basic."

"Lies!" I quickly replied, turning my head to look at him and raising my eyebrows. "You always say that and we both know it's bullshit." I turned back to the piano and placed my hands on the keys as if I knew what I was doing. "Here's a little something I can play for you.”

I let an amused smile appear on my lips and finally used just two fingers to play a short song on the piano, missing one or two notes as I did. When I turned back to him, he was smiling big, trying not to laugh.

"Is that 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game'?" he asked, unable to stop a chuckle from escaping his mouth. "Played with literally two fingers?"

"Don't laugh! I taught myself that."

He started laughing anyway and I raised my nose up, pushing his upper arm with mine and making him laugh even more. He smelled good and he looked gorgeous. I was trying not to think about the fact that he was leaving in a few days and when I looked up at him, he licked his lips.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

My lips curled into a happy smile but I tried to hide it by pressing them together before nodding. He chuckled and proceeded to take my hands and placed them over the keys. I tried to listen to his instructions but my mind drifted away after a while as I looked at his fingers slide gently on the keys for a while before my eyes moved on his arm and up to his chest and his face. I stared at his lips moving for a few seconds before blinking a few times as I tried to get out of my thoughts.

"Are you sleeping again?" he asked, raising his eyebrows with a smile.

"No... no I just..." I shook my head and chuckled. "Play that song. The one you had in hands in my dressing room. You said you needed a piano well there's one. I want to hear you sing."

"I was teaching you how to play darling." he pointed out, making me tilt my head.

"Play Niall, please."

He stared at me and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. I couldn't believe I was here with him and that he was looking at me like that. After a while, he just nodded and licked his lips before his fingers glided on the keys again.

"Maybe we are the champagne lovers Lay in the dark, we are stargazing now Well, I don’t like it.

Rolling the dice just to feel the thunder Deep in the heart of a downward spiral Falling, we’re falling.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Maybe we are the perfect strangers Only the stories left on paper now And I don’t like it.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Come back to me You won’t say you’ll come back to me."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and swallowed the lump in my throat with difficulty. Silent came back in the room and slowly, I brought one of my hands to his cheek, brushing my thumb on it gently. I loved how some of the lyrics really fitted us, and I couldn't explain how perfect it was. He knew how to add things in songs that were only obvious to us two, and I needed to learn how to do that, because when it came to writing my tv show, I knew it was more and more obvious with time that it was based on my story with Niall.

"Those lyrics about the sheets..." I just whispered before licking my lips and sniffing.

"We've been hiding under the sheets since we were kids." he explained even if I already knew what it meant. "Just you and me, in our world. And now I realize that it was our world because you're my world."

I started seeing blurry because of the tears in my eyes and blinked again to let them slide down my cheeks. He brought his hand over mine on his face but his eyes never left mine.

"You're so full of shit, Horan." I just replied in a whisper with a small chuckle.

"I mean it." he quickly murmured before I pressed my lips against his.

He kissed me back deeply and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His lips parted against mine and he panted, making me whimper low. I let my hands slip under his shirt and I thought he was going to laugh at how impatient I was but instead, he moved slightly away, his lips still against mine.

"I'm gonna fucking miss you."

"How many times are we gonna tell that to each other." I whispered back, sliding my hands up his chest.,

He pulled away a bit to stare in my eyes and something twisted inside me. "I don't know, petal. Now too often I hope."

I pulled his shirt off and let it fall on the floor and I kept my lips pressed against his as he got up slowly, grabbing the hem of my shirt and taking it off too. He turned me around slightly, both his hands on my waist and when he kissed me harder, I leaned against the piano without thinking, hitting a few keys and making an horrible sound. We laughed against each other's mouths and I felt him pull my pants down, along with my panties. I wiggled slightly to take them off and pushed them away from us as I moved a bit and hit a few keys again but higher notes this time.

"Clumsy ass." he whispered with a chuckle.

"Hey it's your fault." I argued in a low tone before smiling wide.

I reached for his pants and unzipped them and when he took a step back, my eyes fluttered as I started at him. He took his pants off and when he pulled his boxers down, my lips parted slightly. I watched him sit back on the bench as I stood between him and the piano and he brought his hand to his dick, stroking it slowly. I ran my hand to my breasts as I stared at him and felt my heart jump in my chest at the sight.

He brought his free hand between my thighs and I propped one of my feet on the bench next to him before two of his fingers ran on my slit. He was staring at what he was doing and I let out a low whimper as his thumb found my clit. I was already turned on but feeling him touching me while looking at him touch himself was amazing and I licked my lips, moaning slightly louder.

"I just want to sit on your cock."

He let go of me but I noticed his fingers pressed harder around his cock as he looked up at me and it only took him a few seconds to make a quick head movement.

"Turn around and sit on me."

I felt my heart jump again and slowly did what I asked. I felt him spank me once as I held myself on the piano to sit slowly on him. His hand reached my right side as his left hand positioned his dick and I closed my eyes as I felt it slowly get deeper inside me until I was sitting completely on him.

"Fuck, bend down a bit."

I did as he asked, holding myself on the piano again and making an other unpleasant noise as I hit different keys. This time though, he didn't laugh. He ran his hands on my back, pushing on it gently again and he finally held my waist to help me move up and down on his cock very slowly, watching it slip almost completely out of me and then back inside me as I sat back on him a few times until he was balls deep.

"I fucking love watching my cock disappear in that pretty little cunt of yours." he admitted in a low tone before groaning low. "Fuck me, petal. Harder."

I started going harder as he asked and I tried to grip the piano with my fingers to get balance, my fingers making an annoying sound as they slid on it. My lips parted and I held my breath when I felt him push his thumb in my asshole and I let out a curse word, my movements faltering a bit.

"Don't you fucking stop." he just let out, spanking me with his free hand. "Nothing I want more than to cum deep inside you, pet. I want to feel you clench around me. Fuck, you're such a perfect little cumdump."

I held my breath at his words, feeling my whole body throb at the way he dirty talked to me, a bit surprised but aroused by his words. I was thinking about touching myself when I felt his arm slither around me to reach between my legs as the thumb of his other hand was still fucking my ass.

"You're gonna cum so hard, yea?" he asked, rubbing my clit and making me clench around him in motion. "All over my cock?"

I felt my eyes flutter and my head fell back slightly as I started shaking over him. He brought his arm around me to hold me against him as he kept rubbing my clit hard and fast and when I started cumming, he pushed me up slightly and started moving his hips up against me to reach an orgasm too. He only kept his tip inside me as he came and his fingers sank on both sides of my waist as he groaned loud.

"Fuck."

One of my hands fell on the keys again and I shut my eyes tighter as I got down from my high slowly. I felt one of his hands carress my back and he tapped my butt gently to incite me to get up, I felt his cum fall and when I turned around, some of it slid on my thighs while I bit my bottom lip, looking at his cum mixed with mine on his thighs.

It took him a few seconds to get up and he bent his head down to reach my lips with his. I heard the few notes from the piano as he kissed me and I chuckled against his mouth, making him smile.

"Loved it." he let out low with a smirk. "We literally just composed the best song ever together.”

I laughed and shook my head a bit, my lips brushing against his. "Yea, I don't think it's gonna be a hit." I admitted with an other laugh.

He laughed too and started kissing me slowly but deeply again until we heard the doorbell and both jumped. We both smiled and chuckled at the same time before the bell rang again and someone starting hitting the door quite roughly. I quickly rolled my eyes, knowing exactly who it was. and Niall frowned at me until we heard the voice.

"OLIVIA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" he yelled, making me laugh and roll my eyes. "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON AND COME OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Why does he always get here when we're naked?" Niall asked, making me laugh.

"Hey, it's Louis, I expect nothing less." I pointed out as I was putting my pants back. "I'll go see what he wants, you get dressed."

I put my shirt on as I walked to the front door before swinging it open and sending a big smile to my best friend. He opened his arms wide and it took me only half a second before throwing myself at him. He held me close and I buried my face in his neck as I felt his head lean gently against the side of mine.

"So glad to see you, my queen. I missed you." his voice was low and his words seemed sincere. I could hear emotions in his tone and it made me smile as I gripped the back of his shirt tightly.

"It's been weeks." I just let out, making him squeeze me tighter against him.

"Who's fault?"

"Mine." I confessed in a murmur. "I'm sorry it's just... Niall..."

"Yea I know, I was the same the first few months I was back with El."

We remained silent for a few seconds but when I felt Niall's presence close to us, I felt something melt inside me, like him being close made me emotional.

"Okay Tommo, let go of my girlfriend now."

I chuckled and pulled away, my lips curling more when my eyes met Louis'.

"Oh yea, I saw the video at the airport," Louis laughed, nodding. "Told you it was just a matter of time, right Neil?"

"Right."

My boyfriend groaned but didn't add anything and I moved to let Louis walk in and close the door behind himself. He was so close to me I felt his body heat emanate from him. Niall wrapped his arms around me from behind and I felt him lean his chin on my shoulder. Instinctively, I leaned my head against him and it made Louis roll his eyes with a laugh.

"Alright, double date tonight, we're going to eat, and maybe a movie or something." Louis let out quickly. "Non-negotiable, be ready in two hours, I drive."

He winked at me before turning around and opening the door he had barely just closed and walking quickly to his car. Niall and I both watched him start the car and drive aaway and after a while, I chuckled low and shook my head.

"He's so annoying." Niall admitted, mumbling under his breath.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun!"

Niall seemed to think for a few seconds and finally raised his eyebrows with an amused smile. "Okay, but you wear a skirt."

I rolled my eyes and laughed again, just shrugging. "Deal."

                      ��                        ---

The restaurant was crowded and suddenly, I was scared people would take pictures and videos. I tried to push that thought away and tell myself it didn't matter but at the same time, I knew Niall liked to keep most things private so I tried not to touch him too much. I felt his hand on my naked thigh and smiled, pressing my lips together as I tried to ignore it.

"What are you wearing exactly?" Louis asked with a frown, leaning a bit against the table. "Is that a necklace with my friend Neil's face on it? How old was he back then? 12?"

"Funny." Niall let out sarcastically. "It's a gift from a fan and she won't take it off."

"That's a proof of love, Niall. Embrace it."

Eleanor rolled her eyes with a chuckle and I just laughed a bit. I looked at them and lost my smile suddenly. They were such a perfect and beautiful couple and it was a shame it had just hit me. I started wondering what people thought of the couple I made with Niall and I felt a bit nervous.

"We haven't done that in a while." Eleanor pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. "I know you've both been busy though. How's tour going? Not too hard being away from each other?"

"It's..." Niall started shaking his head.

"Hell." I finished his sentence. 

He turned his head to look at me before nodding slowly. "Exactly. But we manage."

And we did. It was not easy but we loved each other enough to actually want this to work and we both put effort into it. I knew Niall wouldn't always be on tour, and I wouldn't always be filming either. At some point, we would live together almost every day and I seriously couldn't wait. I could write from home, and he could do the same, and I knew it would go very well.

"Niall also asked me to move in with him!" I announced with a huge grin, raising my eyebrows. "About to move my stuff soon!"

I saw Louis' face change and he looked down at his plate before clearing his throat. "Really? When are you moving?"

I frowned when I noticed the emotions on his face but simply licked my lips. I didn't want to cause a scene, and I was not sure of how he felt, but knowing Louis, he was probably going to talk to me about it.

"Probably mid june, it's the only time Niall has a few weeks off. Then he'll be on tour for 3 months almost non-stop." I admitted, swallowing hard at the thought.

I didn't want to be away from him and at the same time, I didn't know if I really should follow him everywhere. I didn't want to be that kind of girl anymore but wanting to be with my boyfriend was not being needy, right? I also didn't really want to stay alone in his big house the whole time he'd be gone. It sounded quite sad.

We started discussing old memories, mostly those from the last tour, and I would roll my eyes when Louis would mention how bad I supposedly had it for Harry. I was pretty sure he knew I was in love with Niall even back then but he was trying to get a reaction out of Niall and I couldn't pretend I didn't find it a bit entertaining. Every time Louis would mention a memory of something romantic or sexual between Harry and I, Niall would squeeze my thigh without really realizing it.

I got up to go to the bathroom after a while and when I got out, Louis was waiting for me, his side leaned against the wall.

"Why are you always waiting for me next to the bathroom." I asked with a chuckle.

"I missed you, you know. I missed my best friend." he pointed out, ignoring my question. "And now you're gonna move in with him for the very first time and, I don't know, I feel betrayed."

I took a step closer to him and shook my head. "Louis, you were already supposed to be with Eleanor, remember?"

"That was when you were supposed to marry Dylan."

I tilted my head and sighed, licking my lips. "I know you hadn't changed your plans. I mean, you were going to live with El either way, and it's okay." I just explained. "I want to try it with Niall. I want it so bad, Louis. But we'll always be close, you and I. I think I need you more than you'll ever need me."

"One day every week."

"Mm?"

"I have to see you at least once a week." he specified. "Sometimes with Niall and El, sometimes just us two, but once a week. I'm not losing touch, you hear me?"

"I hear ya." I smiled and tilted my head.

"Good." he nodded, staring at me for a few seconds. "Are you sure you're ready for that? Moving in with Niall, I mean. It's not gonna be easy."

"I know. But I'm sure." I let out firmly. "He's my soulmate. He's always been. And apparently, I'm his soulmate too. Life couldn't get better than that."

[thephotographikdaillies]

🌄 Morning coffee ☕ no name #instant coffee from Marché Maxi Chilling in my hood living my happy life exited, thankful, greatful, looking forward to the future🌿 the next minute, hour, month, decade, the after life...

It's not about how big or small the home is but how happy the house is

You can possess or have access to all the materlistic and mondaine things know to mankind if your bitter, angry, unhappy deep inside, you will try to contaminate others with your negative energy as if they are or should feel responsible for your sorrow that you need to own up to and more than capable of changing #yourfaith

So many people pretend read and abide by the words of the Bible and if you ever use one curse word in front of them your already micro judged and fit for purgatory....

When they themselves cuss and use the most foul languages one could ever think of by the way they look at you and others, the way they treat other people everyday, the "pagans" according to them!

They could be your coworker, your preacher pretending man of god wannabe xhristian* *boss/restaurant owner, police officer, judge, leader neighbor and so on! They disregard their own golden rule that read everyday from the Bible!

*That decides since its Covid 19 and Jobs are rare i will change the rule everyday everyone will get paid 8 hours from 3-11 no matter how long it takes for you to clean!

Eventhough it's 10 minutes past 11 and tickets are still coming after a 200+ guests busyyyyyyy Thursday night! Not even on the weekend.

Eventhough you will most likely finish at 12 or 12:15 at night after you clean,

Eventhough a steak at my restaurant will cost you 80 dollars ... the average pasta dish is around 28 dollars or more

Eventhough my restaurant is not struggling and is busy everyday of the week! You and everyone in the restaurant will work for free past 11!

Matter fact nobody needs to sign in when you enter or leave the restaurant anymore! Me and management will take care of that!

And when you walk inside my restaurant you especially you!I will yell and scream at you for no reason for the slightest unnecessary things so I can instill the fear and wrath of god into you!*

* which never happened! All I had to do after several of your attempts was to give you a good 10 sec minimum stare to tell you I don't roll like and you quickly understood and changed your approach the very next time forward!

@maxcaprio man of god!

owner of one of the most prestigious Italian Restaurants in town

@ristorantebeatrice

The food is amazing, pricey and well worth it!

The sermont on the mount, Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets

"Le sermont sur la montagne, Mathieu 7:12 Ne fais pas a autrui ce que tu ne voudrais pas qu'on te fasse à toi même!"

Nobody's perfect yes! But some people when it come down to jealously bigotry, injustice they surpass perfection. And there are more than enough people looking up to them, that follow there footsteps trying to be next, that patterns themselves after them, that wants to surpass that perfection that godly figure! More than enough people contaminated and confortable with their ways of thinking, their state of mind...

A power hungry jealous and insecure individual with power is dangerous and LETHAL!!!! Perfect recipe for DISASTER, CHAOS!!!!

If you had spent less than a "quarter" of the time you spent hating on others comparing yourself to others, micro judging others and invested that precious time focusing, meditating recognizing your own flaw you could become a happier more agreeable person. You could change, evolve, become!

One step towards the right direction is and will always be better than a dive into the wrong one!

#foodforthought

Montreal July 12 2020 7:33 am

#brainstormingbook✒📓

[royalreef]

@fullofschmidt​ inquired:  OH HOW THE TURN TABLES! Aaaaaaaall is them!!!!!!!! @collectathon​ inquired:  answer ALL the NSFW asks as payback for also playing 91 questions with all of us B) 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔩𝔶 [ℜ𝔈𝔇𝔄ℭ𝔗𝔈𝔇] ℌ𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰 - Not Accepting

      “ ... Well, if you’re both that eager -- ”

1: When did you lose your virginity?

      “I am still a virgin! And I do plan to remain so for a long while.”

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

      “Is both not acceptable? I favor taking it gentle some days, and some days I wish for something more. Variety is the most pleasurable of all.”

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

      “That depends! Landfolk have much different standards for their norms, I’ve noticed, and some things are more common in certain areas of my kingdom than others...”

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

      “ ... In a horrid little backroom that I think was supposed to be an employee breakroom. Do not ask.”

5: Favourite sex position?

      “Any that involve pinning my partner below me.”

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

      “Dominant.”

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

      “ ... Decline to answer.”

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

      “Bed if it’s gentle. Floor if there’s blood involved. The couch is far too limiting for a range of movement.”

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

      “Yes.”

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

      “No one that can speak of it.”

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

      “Am I supposed to have just one? Artisan pairs are so unique and individual! I could never decide on just one pair!”

12: How often do you have sex?

      “ ... Often.”

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

      “I am sure there are those out there I’d say yes to - but no one who I know the name of. That would... require discussion, and understanding, and a grasp upon certain things that I’m not prepared to bring up yet. Conceptually, I would enjoy any and all of my friends, but... In practice, they nor myself are ready for the knowledge of some issues.”

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

      “Why must I have a preference? They’re both enjoyable.”

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

      “Nothing that you can prove.”

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

      “Oh, that depends upon my partner and the activities! I have whole playlists for each flavor, as you do.”

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

      “See above. Though... When it comes to landfolk music, I do have a favorite.”

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

      “Absolutely - it’s a fun way to set the scene and truly improves the experience! I have false copies of several of my proper regalia for such a purpose, and of course I do have other outfits for different strokes, and even merely getting into undergarments that are a tad more showy than usual goes a long way.”

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

      “Replace ‘ bath ’ with ‘ any pool of proper saltwater ’ - freshwater baths cannot do and they do more harm than good. Showers are better, but being in the ocean is superior to anything done on land.”

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

      “Without consequence or prior explaining? Well... Perhaps Molly, she’s remarkably cute... Or Aaravi - she’s fun enough to fluster that I would love to see her below me! Or precious, handsome Liam... Or Calculester, or Scott, or Damien, or Liam, or Polly, or Zoe, or Val --- ” Okay that’s enough of Miranda’s harem talk.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

      “I’ve had more than a mere three at once!”

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

      “I do.”

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

      “Not that you can prove.”

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

      “Yes? What an odd question.”

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

      “Typically - go into aftercare, usually involving cuddling or cleaning up, tending to any wounds that may have been sustained. Some nights... Well, I have no other option than fall asleep.”

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

      “I do not share my secrets that easily!”

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

      “Both lazy mornings and passionate nights.”

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

      “ ... What?”

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

      “I don’t understand?”

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

      “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

      “See question three.”

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

     “Yes - I think I taste about the same as most others.”

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

      “If you’ve discussed it beforehand and all parties consent? What type of question is this?”

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

      “I don’t eat.”

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

      “During royal duties.”

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

      “Of course! Only a fool would not.”

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

      “When it interferes with your life and duties?”

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

      “When you’re Crown Princess, many compliments come your way. What really counts is when you look down and see them staring up at you with utter adoration.”

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

      “Finplay and gillplay.”

40: What do you wear to bed?

      “For colder nights on land - soft, comfortable sleeping garments. On warmer nights - undergarments. Underwater - nothing at all.”

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

      “Decline to comment.”

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

      “None that you will ever see.”

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

      “Recently.”

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

      “I have.”

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

      “I have had more than three at once.”

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

      “Why would I ever require an ordinary object and not something more dedicated to the task?”

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

      “What is... Less bean?”

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

      “Why would you not? If you’re both clean and safe then there’s hardly an issue.”

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

      “They’re one of the selling points, are they not?”

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

      “Eventually. Not now. One day, I shall have to give mine up as well.”

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

      “I do not eat.”

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

      “Neither - I am a princess. Why would I ever forfeit my title for any other position?”

53: Do you watch porn?

      “Not particularly - I’d much rather experience it myself.”

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

      “I have, by no one who you can prove exists. I will not discuss the why, even in those cases where I understand why. Especially not in those cases.”

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

      “Of course?”

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

      “ ... Encountering hair is always... Unique, as you can imagine it’s a rarity in my kingdom. I work through it, even if it is... strange, to have that, in those locations.”

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

      “I do.”

58: Booty or Boobs?

      “Why fight? Both are so nice...”

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

      “No. Never.”

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

      “ ... Other sex?”

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

      “I have.”

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

      “They have.”

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

      “ ... I don’t wish to speak of this.”

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

     “It depends upon the day, but I tend to handle it wholly myself.”

65. What is your bra/penis size?

      “A cup. You’ll have to guess, as to the length.”

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

      “None any more unusual than the available equipment.”

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

      “Some time ago? I cannot recall.”

68. When was the last time you had sex?

      “Recently.”

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

      “I can’t remember when - it’s been too long.”

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

      “My first... A simple thing, a good place to start. Latest... A specialty set of pearls.”

71. Guys:Circumsized?

      “ ??? ”

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

      “ ... Fins and gills, of course. Lips. Neck. Thighs.”

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

      “Outer folds.”

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

      “No? Can landfolk do that?”

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

      “What’s Tumblr?”

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

      “Several months ago by now, I believe?”

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

      “ ... It involved ice cream.”

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

      “Was this question not already asked? Yes, theoretically I would be open with being intimate with any and all of my friends.”

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

      “I have met more than a few. Most are not worth my time.”

80. Favorite sexual position?

      “Yes, I am fairly sure I have answered this before.”

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

      “A what?”

82. Are you into any BDSM?

      “Absolutely.”

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

      “ ... All the time. For the usual issues that come with my title, and... for reasons that would have to be discussed with them anyhow, if it did occur.”

84. Do you like dirty talk?

      “What is intimacy without it?”

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

      “Compared to most landfolk, I’ve discovered I can be quite loud! I think I’m fairly average, though, in my kingdom. Perhaps even on the quieter side.”

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

      “Yes, but you can’t prove how it happened.”

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

      “I don’t find it particularly enjoyable nor engaging.”

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

      “No.”

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

      “Yes - that’s the most common reason for it, is it not?”

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

      “Do not ask me about this again.”

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

      “Having friends at all is a wholly new concept to me that I am still adjusting to. It seems the sheer act of being friendly is a benefit.”

[shipmistress9]

FTLOAP - 42: What If We Rewrite The Stars?

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net  -  AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Urgh... I don't know what to think of this chapter. I really wrote a lot in these past two weeks, but barely anything for this story. In times, the words simply flowed down into the document - but only when I wrote something else. On this story, I was entirely blocked. According to my plan, there'd been supposed to be at least twice as much plot in this chapter, maybe even more. Ah, well, but it looks like there might be a few shorter chapters to come instead. *sigh*

Anyway, thanks to the changed content of this chapter, I also had to change the title, since the one I had planned in for such a long time only fits the next part. Thankfully, someone recommended 'Rewrite The Stars' by Zac Efron and Zendaya from the movie Greatest Showman to me a while ago. That song fits these last few chapters perfectly, and I think this quote fits this chapter quite well, too.

. o O o .

Hiccup hoped with all his heart that he wasn’t dreaming again. Her lips were moving with his, he could taste her on his tongue, and he could clearly feel her soft and warm body safely encased in his arms – but it still felt too good to be true. 

He’d been so sure that Astrid’s choice at the ball would seal their fate. Markor’s death had confirmed that he’d really seen a vision and had talked to a Goddess instead of only having made it all up. But to be certain that She had meant more than just holding Astrid during the ride back, Hiccup had thought that Astrid would have to ask him for her dance instead of Eret. Otherwise, the social pressure on her to stick to her choice and not switch to an impecunious squire would have been too great – or so he’d told himself. And for those few moments, when she’d slowly walked through the ballroom with her eyes fixed on his and their bond thrumming like a thousand drums, he’d believed she actually would choose him. For that handful of breaths, all the pain and longing and desperation of the previous weeks had vanished at the prospect of their dream coming true, of them dancing together in front of everyone, not caring what anyone else might think. For that short time, he’d hoped! 

But then she’d turned toward Eret after all, away from him, and everything around Hiccup had fallen apart. She’d made her choice and it wasn’t him. He barely remembered how he’d made it out of the ballroom and into the dark night. Everything had hurt – be it brushing against another guest, his stumbling steps over uneven ground, or even the air itself. It had all hurt like a million shards of glass cutting into his mind, his flesh, his soul. 

At that moment, dying hadn’t felt like such a bad option.

But then she’d suddenly been there. He’d felt her approach, and the sight of her, her closeness, her voice, and her words and promises had been like sweet honey on his hurting soul, and now, everything was perfect again. She was in his arms, and her hand on his skin and her lips against his were all the reassurance he needed. Hot tears of pure relief ran down his cheeks; he hadn’t thought to ever kiss her again, much less hold her with the assurance that nothing could come between them again. He wanted this moment to never end...

Of course, it felt like a dream. But it was one he intended to hold on to with everything he had. Whatever happened, he wouldn’t let go of her again.

“Well, fuck me slowly with Heimdall's mighty horn!” came like a thunderbolt, for all that it was hissed through clenched teeth.

The words cut into their blissful bubble like a knife. Hiccup was reluctant to separate from Astrid and he sensed that she felt the same, but the magic of the moment was gone. She whimpered as he drew back, quietly, barely more than a vibration rippling through her, and buried her face against his chest, unwilling to face their intruders. Despite their silent agreement to not hide but to fight this time, she was still afraid – and Hiccup couldn’t even blame her. All those months of secrecy and hiding had left their mark, and it wouldn’t go away in the blink of an eye. A spark of that fear rose inside him, too, but he forced himself to ignore it as he looked up, stern determination in his eyes as he faced the newcomers. He was ready to fight for her, ready to do whatever it would take. Nobody would be able to separate them again, not after what they’ve been through. If the last two weeks had taught him one thing, then it was that a life without her wasn’t worth it.

When he looked up, his eyes directly landed on Eret, who was at the front of the small group at the edge of the small clearing. For once, though, Hiccup couldn’t pay him the respect he deserved as his knight. This was not about who was the knight and who was the squire. This was about something so much more important, and Hiccup didn’t budge or cower, didn’t avert his eyes and bowed but instead met his cousin’s gaze straight on. However, the expression on Eret’s face didn’t tell him anything. He was calm as he took in what he saw, the woman who’d been meant to become his wife in the arms of his squire, his cousin, his friend. Hiccup had expected – no, feared there would be disappointment, hurt, and anger. But if Eret felt any of that, then he didn’t show it. 

Briefly, Hiccup’s eyes flickered to those standing behind Eret – Dagur, whose disbelieving curse had interrupted them and who now stared at them with his mouth open and his eyes wide, and both of Astrid’s servants – but they didn’t really matter. Right now, everything depended on how Eret would react. Deep inside, Hiccup hoped that what he’d believed before Astrid’s birthday was still true; that Eret wouldn’t mind, would maybe even support them in some way. But since then, many things had changed, especially Eret’s relationship to his little sister, and he had every right to be furious, to demand their separation. Hiccup and Astrid might be ready to stand up for their feelings for each other… but that didn’t change that things would become very difficult if a ducal heir would be their opponent. 

For some endless seconds, their gazes were locked. Hiccup’s arms around Astrid trembled and he swallowed as one scenario after the other flickered through his mind; everything from having to fight his cousin right here and now to getting thrown into the royal dungeon for his boldness within a matter of minutes.

But then, Eret closed his eyes and, letting out a deep sigh, slowly shook his head. “You two,” he snorted into the silence that encircled them all, “are unbelievable, do you know that?”

At first, his words made no sense to Hiccup, and it took for Eret’s face to twitch into something of a soft grimace before their meaning sank in. 

And even then, Dagur was the first to react. “You knew?!” he sputtered, his head whipping from Hiccup and Astrid to Eret and back again at an almost comical speed. “Bu-but I thought he… he said… in that tavern! And...  all this time, you–”

“Oh, be quiet!” Astrid’s warder, Tuff, hissed as he threw up his arms in exasperation. “Or do you want to draw even more attention? It’s bad enough already as it is...”

“And you knew too?” Dagur went on, though in a quieter hissing voice now as he turned to look at the twins in disbelieve. They both gave identical shrugs and nods, and Dagur groaned. “Great! So I was the only stupid one around here?”

“Isn’t that how it always is?” Tuff threw back, a mischievous grin on his face.

But their bantering got lost in the background as Ruff pushed past them. Her eyes were firmly locked onto Astrid’s back who still wouldn’t look at anyone. Hiccup wished he could shield her from all that seemed to trouble her, but he knew that, right now, he was powerless. All these people knew each other since childhood, with only him being the odd one out. Whatever happened now, he could only watch, could only try to support Astrid in case it came to some form of fight between her and those she considered her closest friends. All he could do was keep his arms tight around Astrid’s trembling shoulders, assuring her that he was here with her.

“I’m sorry, milady,” Ruff sighed. “We couldn’t keep them out any longer. And the doors to the garden stood still open, so…” she trailed off, shrugging. 

Finally, Astrid stirred. She stayed as close to Hiccup as she could, but still turned her head until she could look at the others. “It’s all right, Ruff. I don’t blame you,” she whispered in a brittle voice.

Then her head turned a little more. It was clear that she was looking at Eret now, and Hiccup followed her eyes, still unsure of what to expect from his cousin. Was he angry? Disappointed? Hiccup wouldn’t even blame him… Up until about an hour ago, there had been no doubt as to who the Princess would choose as her husband, after all…

"Did you really know?" Astrid asked in a small voice, and Hiccup could feel how much she trembled. She'd been close to blacking out earlier, and all this had to be tough on her. Almost without thinking about it, his hands shifted, less holding her tight but more supporting her weight in case she needed it. His gaze stayed on Eret though, anxiously waiting for his reaction.

However, Eret's expression was unreadable as his eyes roamed from one to the other. It probably only took him a few seconds before he replied, but those seemed to stretch out forever. Then he closed his eyes and sighed. "No, I didn't know," he emphasised in a quiet voice. "I didn't want to. If I'd known about the looks you shared whenever you thought nobody was looking or how you’d make out whenever you got the chance, then I'd have been forced to lie to my best friend and future king whenever I looked him in the eye." He sighed again and shook his head. "But seriously, if it was your intention to keep what’s between you a secret, then you did a horrible job!"

In Hiccup’s arms, Astrid was trembling even harder. Hiccup felt the same, little shockwaves running through his body as the meaning of what Eret just said sank in. They’d thought they’d been so careful… 

“And-and you never said anything?” 

Eret’s expression turned sad. “And end up being torn between my loyalty toward you, my best friend and little sister, or Daniel, also my friend and future liege?” He shook his head, even as his lips twitched into something of a smile. “I’d thought about it,” he eventually added in a low voice. “And I tried… You know… Ever since the… the incident with Harold, I had my suspicions. And even though I didn’t want to know the truth, I was still searching for some form of… of confirmation, I guess. But every time I tried to probe for a reaction, carefully, either of you warded off my approach with some excuse or other. I have to grant you that, every time I thought to be sure, you managed to throw me off just enough so that I had doubts again. Every now and then, I also thought about simply confronting you directly, to stop all the hiding. But you apparently wanted to keep this secret, and I… well, after you’ve kept our secret for over two years now, I thought it was only fair to respect your secret as well.” 

Astrid’s head dropped, though whether it was some kind of nod or simply in defeat, Hiccup couldn’t tell. A moment later, she looked up again though, and her hands on his chest tightened into fists, clinging to his tunic. “And what about these last two weeks?” she asked, her voice close to breaking. 

Hiccup still felt unable to contribute anything to the conversation, but he had to admit that this was a valid question. If Eret had, well, not known but highly suspected there was more between him and Astrid… why hadn’t he said something then? Why had he let her favour him?

Eret’s expression turned pained. ��After your birthday…” he whispered, “it was just the same. I saw that something was wrong with you, and understandably so. But I couldn’t be sure, didn’t know what was up, whether you had a fight or whether it was something else… Again, I tried to get a reaction, just anything that would help me understand. But you wouldn’t talk to me, just warded off my questions all over again. And when I tried to get some reaction from Hiccup, he even encouraged me to…” He shook his head. “I wanted to help you, but I just didn’t know how to do that, what exactly had happened between you two, whether you’d even want me to know, and...” He paused and threw his hands up in a helpless gesture, the pain on his face getting even more intense before he added, “I’m sorry!” 

Hiccup listened to his cousin’s words with mixed feelings. On the one hand, he was still anxious and overwhelmed by the fact that so many people now seemed to know about them – and apparently had for quite a while. But on the other hand, he also felt a weird mix of relief and anger. Relief that they didn’t need to hide that desperately any more... but also the anger about how much pain both him and Astrid could have been spared if only Eret had said something! 

However, it only took one look into Astrid’s eyes as she turned to him again for this anger to evaporate. In a way, they both had needed this pain to understand, to see clearly that living apart wasn’t an option, no matter the circumstances. And in the end, it was Eret who’d lost… Hiccup could see it in the reassurance that sparkled in Astrid’s eyes, felt it in how her hand pressed harder against his chest for a moment before she wriggled out of his embrace to make a step toward her brother. She’d made her choice and that meant that she would have to hurt Eret.  

“I’m sorry, too,” she said in a weak voice. “But… but I can’t become your wife. A part of me wants to. I want to help you out of this awful situation you’re in. I want to help you both at once. But this, I can’t do.” She paused, taking a deep breath, then gasped, “I love him!”

Hiccup’s heart swelled at her words. She’d said it before already, to him, but this was different. This was what he’d dreamed of ever since he’d discovered that she was the Princess. It was openly declaring their feelings for each other, in front of witnesses and without holding back. And I love her too, more than anything, more than my own life, he added mentally, but didn’t dare to interrupt them.

When he looked up at Eret again, the sadness from before was almost entirely gone though. Instead, he smiled, his eyes warm as he held his arms open, inviting her into a hug. 

“I know,” he murmured, barely audible, after his arms had closed around her. “And Swanja... I’m not mad. Do you remember the day we talked? Down at the lake? I meant every word I said, that day and on every other day. I’d be happy and proud to call you my wife and I do believe that a life on our stud farm would suit you. But I also want you to be happy. I told you that, if you have someone you want to choose for yourself, then do so. And…” he trailed off, shared a quick glance with Dagur, and then added, “And there’s something else I also meant when I said it. If you have a problem, you only need to say it, and we'll help you, whatever it is.”

Eret’s words had touched Hiccup, had made him feel stupid and grateful at the same time. Of course, her brothers valued Astrid’s happiness, he shouldn’t have doubted them. It took a few heartbeats before the last words fully sank in though, and when they did, they left him stunned. It was one thing to accept her choice and, hopefully, to not out them publicly. Eloping, their last resort if they wouldn’t be able to find another way, would become impossible if everyone knew about them. But Eret – and Dagur, if Hiccup had interpreted that look correctly – appeared to be willing to do so much more, to even help and support them in finding a solution. Maybe – just maybe! – they actually had a chance…

In Eret’s arms, Astrid began to cry, quietly and with tremors shaking her body, but for once, Hiccup didn’t feel the urge to go and comfort her himself. He’d thought that seeing them like this again would hurt as it had before, but it didn’t. Not with the reassurance of the past half hour. It was only Eret comforting his adopted sister – and if he was honest with himself then it had never been anything else anyway. A soft smile tugged at Hiccup’s lips as he watched them now, and he couldn’t help the warmth spreading through him at the sight in front of him. Eret cooed and murmured into her hair and rubbed her arms and back until she calmed down again. A faint memory rose to Hiccup’s mind, about how she’d once told him how she had nobody she could fully trust, how she was alone when it came to her innermost problems, and how liberating it was for her to have found him. But she’d been wrong. She’d never been alone, had always been protected and cared for. 

For a minute or three, they were all silent save for Astrid’s servants murmuring in the background. Dagur had stepped closer, but, to Hiccup’s surprise, he hadn’t said anything yet. However, his hand on Astrid’s shoulder offering comfort and support said enough. Everything Eret had said was true for him, too, apparently. And when Eret eventually lifted his head to look at Hiccup standing a few steps away, he understood that this support wasn’t just aimed at their sister. Eret’s eyes were soft, his smile warm and true as he nodded at him, including him as well. 

It didn’t need any other form of communication then, Hiccup stepping closer just as Eret loosened and dropped his arms. Astrid threw one last grateful smile up at Eret before she returned to Hiccup. To never leave him again. 

Hiccup couldn’t really help himself then; holding her close and feeling her hand directly land over his heart again felt good, but it wasn’t enough. His hands curled around her face, her neck, and he pulled her into a kiss instead. When she was surprised, she caught herself before he noticed, melting into him, humming and smiling against his lips. It wasn’t the most passionate kiss they’d ever shared, just soft lips sliding and tugging at each other. But that didn’t demean the sense of liberty that overcame Hiccup. As simple and easy and playful as this kiss was, it still held so much more meaning, and it was overwhelming. Because they didn’t need to hide anymore, at least not from everyone. Among this group of friends, they could stop pretending, stop lying.

“Okay, but what are we supposed to do now?”

At Tuff’s sudden question, Hiccup and Astrid parted, ruefully, and everybody turned to questioningly look at the lanky man. His eyes wandered from one to the other, before he shrugged. “What?” he asked, defensively. “We can’t stay out here forever. Sooner or later someone will notice Astrid isn’t resting in that room anymore. So what’s supposed to happen now? Are you just going to go back and announce that you changed your mind?”

“Duh, of course not!” Ruff exclaimed and even swatted the back of her brother's head with her hand. “If that was possible, all this drama wouldn’t have been necessary. He’s not eligible, and you know that perfectly well.” 

“Well, yes, I do,” Tuff grumbled and rubbed his head. “And you know I wasn’t serious. But my question still stands. What do we do now?”

The short exchange pulled Hiccup out of his emotional high and back into reality. Sure, it was good to know that they weren’t alone, that they had support, but what was that worth? Not even Eret and Dagur were able to elevate him to a rank that made openly courting Astrid possible. Their situation was just as hopeless as it had been before. Nothing had changed...

After a short pause, Eret sighed. “I’d say that, for now, we should continue as planned, at least act as if nothing had changed.” He raised a hand to ward off any protest before it could come up. “I’m not suggesting to go through with the betrothal and the wedding in case we can’t find a solution. Honestly, I… I know you two well enough to have an idea of what you’re planning. But maybe we can find another solution, something that won’t leave a mess in its wake. As for now though, just consider one thing: men have already been maimed and died in this competition. My rank keeps me safe from open assassination attempts, but if anyone, and you all know who I mean, even so much as suspects Astrid might prefer a certain squire, then I’m not sure we’d be able to keep Hiccup safe.”

Hiccup’s heart sank at those blunt words, and he could feel how a shudder ran through Astrid’s body. From the corner of his eye, he saw how she paled, her hand clenching in his tunic again.  As much as they might prefer it otherwise, Eret was right; keeping up at least the appearance of her going to marry Eret would be the wisest thing to do for now. So Hiccup nodded when Eret’s eyes met his, agreeing if reluctantly.

“And you know I hate to admit this,” came Dagur’s voice, drawing everyone’s attention. “But I think Timothy was right.” They all looked at him. “Time’s a wasting. Get back inside posthaste or try explaining that,” he motioned with his chin towards Hiccup and Astrid holding each other, “to a patrolling guardsman. Or worse.”

Astrid’s shoulders slumped, but she nodded. “Yes, we should go back,” she whispered, hesitantly. “But… but can we meet again soon? To talk, to find a solution? Please?” Her hand in his tunic tightened even further, and Hiccup raised his hand to place it over hers, to rub her arm until she relaxed again. The look in her eyes as she gazed up at him told him enough about how she felt; anxious and unwilling to let go of him so soon. He couldn’t even blame her, but the others were right. Staying here wouldn’t get them anywhere. 

“Maybe…during the hunt in a couple of days?” he suggested. “I don’t think we’ll get the chance to talk unobserved during the tournament tomorrow and the day after. But during the hunt, we can sneak away and meet somewhere else; the stables, for example, o-or somewhere else,” he added hastily when something like a small whimper escaped Astrid. He wanted to kick himself; of course, mentioning the stables wasn’t a good idea, not after what had happened this morning. But he couldn’t take his words back anymore and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come up with something–

“Tonight,” Eret threw in, distracting Hiccup from his thoughts. “After the ball has ended. It will be late and everybody will be too tired to care much. Rachel, do you think you can smuggle her over into my rooms without anybody noticing? There, we could talk freely.”

Hiccup’s heart began to race and he could tell that Astrid faired little better. This was better than everything he could have hoped for. Maybe, they would already find a solution tonight.

Ruff snorted and rolled her eyes. “Given that she managed to sneak out of the castle and to the stables all on her own and pretty much every night without anyone noticing… Yeah, I’d say that won’t be a problem,” she said sarcastically. 

Apparently, this was news to Eret as well – the looks on his and Dagur’s faces were priceless.

. o O o .

As they approached the castle again, Astrid was reminded of the fact that she would have to let go of Hiccup’s hand eventually. She didn’t want to, wanted to stay close to him for the rest of her life, wanted to never be separated from him again. 

But, of course, that wasn’t possible. Eret was right after all; it was bad enough that she’d put a target on his back by choosing him over her other suitors. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if Hiccup got the same attention now. 

No, all she could do as they were back in the room she’d been resting in earlier was squeeze his hand and throw him one last smile before letting go and winding her arm through Eret’s instead. He must have felt her discomfort though, because as they walked back to the busy ballroom, Hiccup, Dagur, and the others a few steps behind them, he leaned toward her and whispered, “Don’t worry, Swanja. I promise we’ll find a way out of this.“

Astrid had no idea how he wanted to pull that off, but she believed him at least so far that he would do his best to help. Maybe he’d even cover for them in case of their last resort. And even though they still had no solution, she felt lighter now. So much had changed over this past hour. She was sure of Hiccup’s and her own feelings again, was sure of their future. And the fact that she didn’t need to hide anything from Eret anymore, that he knew and was even willing to support them, to play his part to keep her soulmate safe... She would never be able to express just how relieved and how grateful she was to him. Lying to him over all this time felt so trite and stupid now, and she just hoped that there would be a way to somehow make it up to him one day. 

The rest of the ball passed surprisingly fast and ended with Astrid in a much better mood than she’d ever thought she’d be. Repeating her official dance with Eret was light and fun, just like dancing with him used to be before all this madness had started. They were back to being best friends, close as siblings, and she hadn’t known how much she’d missed this easiness until she rediscovered it now. 

She found herself beaming up at him as they whirled through the room, laughing and enjoying herself. Every now and then, her eyes flickered to where Hiccup stood, and the spark in his eyes told her all she needed to know. Earlier, he’d said that watching her with Eret had pained him, but it was clear that that wasn’t the case anymore. Everything was different now. Better. 

“That’s it, the Swanja I want to see. I missed her,” Eret whispered once the music died down, and he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her forehead that made her giggle.

A sigh went through the watching crowd at the tender gesture even though they thoroughly drew the wrong assumptions from it. But Astrid happily let them believe what they wanted to believe. It didn’t matter as long as everyone who did matter knew the truth. She smiled up at him again, trying to express all her gratitude and love for her friend, before they parted and the ball continued as it had before. 

She danced with Dagur next, and he too reassured her that they would support her and how happy he was to see her smile again. He also managed to make her – and part of the watching crowd she guessed – laugh when he made a show of not letting go of her again. Gods, it was so liberating to fool around like this again, to have her brothers back and to have fun without caring what other people might think of them. 

She danced with many other men as it was the custom, men whose names she barely remembered. But where on the days before she’d dreaded this idea, it now barely bothered her. Some of them were nervous and excited, some stiff in their attempt to make an impression on her. She wondered whether these men really still held some hope now, or whether it was their fathers pushing them. Either way, she felt pity for them where before she’d hated every single one of them. Most of these boys – because some of them were barely old enough to be called more than that – probably had gotten thrown into this just as unwillingly as she had and she made an attempt to turn their dances into something enjoyable. She was just too happy to let anyone else mope around. 

Eventually, she danced with Snot, and while the thought had made her uncomfortable at first, she soon realised that there seemed to be no reason for that anymore. 

“I congratulate you for the choice you made,” he murmured into her ear at a quieter part of the music. “I think it’s a good one, no matter how much my old man might object.” 

His words surprised her, and she didn’t know what to reply except a simple “Thanks.” These past weeks of incessant flirting on his part had alienated him to her, and Astrid wasn’t ready to forgive and forget it yet. But even though she still felt tense in his arms, certainly not as comfortable as in Dagur’s or even with all those other strangers, she had to admit to herself that dancing with him now at least felt a little more like it used to. 

At some point though, she even was made to dance with Thuggory, and no matter how good she felt, this did make her uncomfortable. She didn’t want his hands on her waist, didn’t want to be this close to him, ever. But she would endure it, there was no other way anyway. And there was even some fun in it for her too, if only in knowing that all his vague threats were in vain.

“You’re going to regret choosing that horse-crazy idiot,” he sneered, his breath on her skin making her shudder. “You’ll see.”

But Astrid wasn’t feeling like giving in or even just ignoring him today. “I doubt that,” she replied with a sweet smile. “On the contrary, I’m certain that the choice I made today was the best of my life.” He couldn’t know that she wasn’t talking about Eret but instead about going after Hiccup, but that only made her rejoice even more. Thuggory was nothing but a toothless dog, barking and annoying, but unable to actually do anything. 

At her words, his eyes contracted into slits, his sneer turning even more menacing. “We’ll see, Princess. We’ll see.”

But not even that was enough to darken Astrid mood tonight.

 . o O o .

So, that was that...

I can't say that I'm happy with how this chapter turned out. Not that I don't like this scene, but it feels incomplete without the one that's now going to come in the next chapter. Like, the rest of the ball had been meant to be a bridge between the two main scenes... Writer's block is so annoying!

Anyway, I hope some people are calmer and more relaxed now, nothing bad will happen right away. ;)

[sprydecreates]

wedding bells

requested by: no one :)

warnings: angst (break up), language

pairings: shawn mendes x reader

type: headcanon/list; gender neutral (doesn’t use any pronouns)

summary: after a brutal break up, shawn is there to pick you up, and then some.

a/n: i know.... i keep weaving in and out of tumblr...... oh well. had this idea in mind and i really liked it. hope it’s not too bad ♡

flash back friday

you and shawn met in elementary school due to a school project called flat stanley, where you send a little paper character to someone you know and have them take stanley through their lives for a bit.

your family knew shawn’s, and so you two were introduced for the first time.

since you two were kids, you didn’t really have a way to keep in contact with each other.

good thing for you, you two were reunited in middle school, when shawn’s family came in for a visit.

finally, you two were able to keep in contact, and you remained good friends until high school.

until meaning, you didn’t have anyone to bring to prom, and you invited shawn

which, of course, caused a whole cliche like “he saw me walk down the stairs and fell in love”, but deadass. like that’s really what happened. boy seen you all pampered and dressed up, and did the whole “..wow” with the little heart eyes and had that little blushy patch shining through

soon after, he asked how you felt about long distance relationships while on facetime.

hoping he’d take the hint, you said “there’s really only one person i’d see myself with that’s far away” and take him through a “well he’s like eight feet tall, has brown hair and brown eyes, kinda sarcastic but will cry if he thinks he hurt someones feelings, shall i go on?” 

and hes OblIviOus right. genuinely thinks you’re talking about some celeb you’ve stanned for a couple of months. so he’s just like “uh, if you want. you seem happy about him, so i’m glad you’re happy”

and you pull a “yeah, you do make me happy”

WHEW BOEH

this sweetie raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes, Finally realizing you’re going on about him, and he’s like, “huh..?”

“did you seriously think i wouldn’t notice you rubbing little hearts into the back of my hand on the way to prom?”

“i mean yeah but that’s on my side, i didn’t realize that you liked me back??”

“i was sure you’d take the hint when i said i’d love to have a boyfriend like you”

“y/n you Know how bad i am at taking hints”

“yeah, i know, now.”

and that started the talking phase, which only lasted Maybe a month and a half before you two started dating.

you and shawn dated from senior year up until freshman year of college.

you stayed in your own state because of the in-state tuition, and shawn stayed in canada to be closer to his family

because you two were now considered to be in the ‘real world’ and actually had to fend for your own in a sense, you two became super busy, and rarely got a chance to speak to each other.

this eventually lead to you two breaking up, as you couldn’t keep up with each other at this speed, and distance.

you both agreed to give each other some air, and continue talking when the other had enough time to heal.

but, out of fear that the other hadn’t had enough time to get themselves together, neither of you contacted the other and the friendship fell through.

present time

two years have passed, and you are now in a relationship with your fiance.

yes, you read that right. f i a n c e.

you didn’t necessarily think it’d happen, either.

after your friendship with shawn fell through, you downloaded tinder, and matched with (y/f/n). you decided “eh, why not” and now you’re here.

you didn’t really even want to marry this dude this fast, but he brought you to a popular and packed, expensive restaurant with his entire immediate family, and popped the question while using a microphone. how fun, totally not anxiety driven and absolutely not embarrassing :)

but, since shawn, you were having doubts of finding someone else. so, this was like a last shot for you, in a sense.

but, here you are, and it’s about four months from the wedding date.

nothing is written in stone, apart from the venue

you were going through your contacts, finding out who you were going to invite.

down the line, shawn popped up.

what were you going to do now?

you wanted to invite shawn because, hello, he had been apart of your life since  e l e m e n t a r y  s c h o o l. you couldn’t just marry someone and ten years down the road bring it up like “hey yea sorry about not inviting you :/ thought it’d be awkward ://////”

but then again, your fiance was well aware of your history with shawn. it’s not like he was going to leave you at the alter if shawn came, but you were still a bit iffy considering (y/f/n) is a little insecure when it comes to you talking to other guys.

despite feeling off about you, you decided to message shawn anyway, and inform him of whats going on

2:43 PM: “hey shawn!”

2:51 PM: “(Y/n)?”

2:53 PM: “yeah?”

2:57 PM: “Hey! I was just making sure this was still your number. I didn’t have it deleted on purpose, just got a new phone about two months ago.”

3:04 PM: “no problem, sorry we haven’t talked in a bit. how are you?”

3:10 PM: “Pretty good, how are you?”

3:13 PM: “i’m doing well, i actually just got engaged not too long ago!”

3:35 PM: “Oh, yeah, I noticed that. Congrats”

3:40 PM: “:( you okay?”

4:15 PM: “Just confused as to why I’m being told this like four months since it happened.”

4:20 PM: “I wanted to tell you, i just didn’t know how to bring it up in a normal conversation. that and my fiance is a bit weird about us talking.”

4:24 PM: “What do you mean weird?”

4:28 PM: “he just gets freaked”

4:33 PM: “Lol I don’t know why he’d get upset at you messaging me just to tell me that you’re getting married to him. Seems like he’s scared.”

4:39 PM: “idk. anyway, i was wondering if you’d like to be invited?”

the conversation went on for half the evening before you both said goodnight and went to sleep.

you were woken up by (y/f/n) standing over you with your phone in his hand.

“(y/f/n)? what is it?”

he had his eyebrows raised in a ‘caught you’ type of way, peering down at you and practically shoving your phone into your face, “what’s this about shawn?”

you let out a short but forceful breath through your nose, “what about it? and why are you in my phone-”

“‘can’t wait to see you’? ‘i think he’s scared’? what the fuck is that about?”

you were sat up in your bed by now, as he had spent the night at your place, “what the fuck about it, (y/f/n)? he used to be one of my closest friends, i’m not going to skip out on inviting him-”

“oh but you don’t back me up when he thinks i’m scared of him? or when he talks shit about my family?”

“all he said was he figured you proposed that way?! why are you freaking out over this?”

“why aren’t YOU freaking out- you know what. i’m gonna head out.”

and with that, he left.

a few weeks and after several arguments later, you officially changed your relationship status to ‘single’ on facebook.

shawn was one of the first to message and ask if you were okay.

you explained everything that had happened, and how you drunkenly figured out (y/f/n) had hooked up with his ex because “if you get to fuck someone else so do i”. even though   . you and shawn haven’t been face to face in like two years  . ok

not even a week later, shawn was at your front door with two weeks worth of clothes packed.

the first few days were reserved for him to kind of hold you, and make sure you were alright. you were sad it was over, and angry that he cheated and used an assumption to do so.

on the third day, though you finally opened up about the situation that lead to the breakup.

you and shawn were on your couch, and it was about midnight. you had been on the topic of busted relationships, and that’s when you felt like it was appropriate to complain, “i’m just, so, confused? like i don’t know what went wrong with it.”

shawn, who had always been real with you, decided to add his opinion in, “he wasn’t ever right for you, from what all you’ve told me.”

you sighed and shook your head, waving your hands in a defeated motion, “i know, he wasn’t ever my type. it’s just, we made a life together,” shawn made a disapproving hum, but kept his words to himself, “and yeah he was kind of a bitch, and his family was really weird and acted like they were better than me, and,” you continued for roughly fifteen more seconds before shawn interrupted

“(y/n), do you hear yourself?” he held his hand sternly against his half crossed legs. you didn’t speak, as you thought he would continue, “you sound like you were living in an imaginary jail cell. there’s more bad than good about him, and i get that usually happens after a breakup, but i’ve heard what, TWO good things about him since i’ve been here? if he’s as bad as you make him seem, which i completely believe, then you’re better off without him.”

you held your head down, staring at the floor while shawn continued on, and spoke softly when he was finished, “i know i probably am, i just can’t wrap my head around why he cheated. he was supposed to love me, and i feel like it was my fault this all ended-”

“it wasn’t ever your fault (y/n).”

“i just-”

“no, listen to me. this man proposed in front of his family because he knew you’d get nervous and say yes so you wouldn’t cause a scene. then when he realized you wouldn’t obey his every order, he didn’t want you anymore. he wanted you to say you were a fixer upper and that HE was the one to help you. but you helped yourself, and he hated that. he literally left you out of nowhere JUST because you invited me, someone you hadn’t spoken to but for mere minutes each year to wish me a happy birthday or new years. then he immediately went and hooked up with an ex, that didn’t you say he lied about talking to at the start of your relationship?”

“yeah but-”

“i don’t mean to interrupt all the time, but there’s not any buts to be had. he realized you weren’t going to be his trophy wife, and he resorted to his ex, who he knew would be there. you’re better off, (y/n). it might take some time, but it’s true.”

you sat in silence for a couple of minutes, taking in all that shawn had said. and, he was right. that piece of shit left you, YOU, all because you invited your ex to an event that bounded you and your fiance together. so, fuck him, and everything he made you go through.

the rest of the night was spent with you and shawn making fun of (y/f/n).

what the future holds

next thing you knew, you and shawn had graduated from college, and (y/f/n) proposed to his ex. but you hadn’t been thinking about him much, especially since shawn had gotten back into your life.

you two were actually looking through apartments up in michigan, and planned to move in with each other by july.

now, you two did this in order to ‘save money’. in reality, two months passed and you two started to catch feelings, again. whooooo would’ve guessed that was going to happen?

regardless, you didn’t mind, and shawn certainly didn’t either.

come to find out, your relationship status changed to ‘in a relationship’ with shawn not even six months after moving in with each other!

your relationship was really sweet, to say the least.

lots of reassurance from shawn, most of the time it was random

temple kisses while you were working on something for your internship to let you know he supported you

really careful and patient when you were stressing out

little “i love you”’s at the most random times. kind of like extra greetings from kurtis conner

tons of showing off, something (y/f/n) never really done

shawn was Extra. like he made a while ass snapchat story dedicated to you because he couldn’t get enough of you

his headers on his social media were always related to your relationship

just genuinely heart warming things

continuation of the heart tracing on your hand (you later on got a tattoo of a heart on the hand he held the most)

he’d get shy when you’d compliment his singing, which would usually happen when he’d serenade you in the floor at night, and he’d have that same blushy patch appear right before he’d hide his smile in the crook of your neck

while sitting next to you, if he couldn’t see your entire side profile, he’d always move your hair and tuck it behind your ear. he also liked to do this thing where he rubbed your ear after doing it

you knew you loved shawn, and he knew he loved you.

like, this dude has loved you for years. of course it dwindled and changed as you both grew, both apart and grew, but he always felt something.

so, it wasn’t a surprise when this conversation took place one night, you both sat on the couch as the background noise of the tv filled the room while you worked on a project, and he was writing a song that’d be for you when it was finished.

“hey, (y/n),” shawn said, a bit lower than the tv’s volume.

“yeah?” you answered monotone and focused on the finishing touches of your project.

he had been staring at you with those soft eyes, so his tone came out a bit more soft too, “let’s get married.”