#12f meta tag

[toydrill]

todd and esther: uh reggie we stayed in the endless for 5 days and couldn’t conceptualize time or reality anymore and look what staying in the endless for 50+ years has done to others don’t you think you should try growing up in the real world with us instead of hiding away in here and refusing change

reggie: rip to captain elmer but i’m different

[toydrill]

WAIT if we consider the fact that Dr. Champion’s backstory (assuming he’s not just spouting nonsense) has him coming to endless as an ADULT, and the fact that the Buttwitch remembers Endless as being a mature place, do you suppose it was once an adults escapist paradise instead of being for children?

anon... 

[toydrill]

answering your questions!

thank you all so much for the 12f asks and interaction... this is really new to me and i’m over the moon that so many people enjoy my content and want to talk to me about it! i have a lot of feelings about buttdeal and im glad that other people do too... i feel like i could write an essay about how a redemption arc could go...

so without further ado... i will answer your questions... :)

i’ve seen people refer to her as full grown because of that piece of merch! i’m not sure if i believe it just yet... but it’s certainly a cool idea!

@dummyart

i think reggie’s crush on conelly is really cute-- i want to draw content of them soon, but i’m not sure if i ship them in a requited way, just because reggie still has a lot of character growth to go through before she even admits that love is anything but a Boring Life Ruiner. i would like to explore some aspects of conelly though since we haven’t really seen much of her!

umm ABSOLUTELY. most of bw’s interaction with other people on endless is being insulted and rejected, and i feel like she’s started to internalize that somehow (if her conversation with brown roger before transforming him means anything)... i really want to see more of her vulnerability in that way

HE’S JUST A MAN IN LOVE

@softballmaster21 i’m feeling... okay! not entirely great but not unbearable like the past couple days. hopefully whatever is ailing me will get out before my new college semester starts

i definitely think that his feeling of isolation among the citizens of endless is a part of why it was so easy for him to attach to BW... he seems like one of the characters that could have once been a person who simply stayed in endless (or the universe in which endless resides) to escape something. 

once idea i have is that he was on one of the different islands that elmer talked about and ended up on endless somehow and so that maybe is why he’s so isolated ... the deterioration of real-world people on these islands is different depending on environment...

ABSOLUTELY!!! i love them with all my heart and i want to listen to them forever

Stop listen. reggie empathizing with big deal falling in love with someone he feels like is out of his league or unattainable and is like. God. fuck. dammit. shit. UGH

(read from bottom to top)

THANK YOU. I’VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS EPISODE FOR FUCKING 20 YEARS AND I FINALLY HAVE THE CHANCE TO DO SO NOW... OKAY

buttwitch is unable to communicate any kind of personal and vulnerable feelings she has to other people. we know this. she feels abandonment issues, possibly because of reggie wanting to refuse and repress her existence-- she doesn’t want to grow up, she finds disgust in the idea of maturity, which is the core of bw’s being, and fights her every step of the way to an inevitable end. 

in that way i find that buttwitch for a while is really easy to empathize with. she, while abrasive and arrogant, is the personification of something that is GOING to happen, regardless of reggie wanting it or not. the other option, staying in endless and never aging, is degenerative and will cause her psyche to go into the fucking gutter. even todd and esther, while understanding reggie’s feelings, know this in their hearts and push back against her on it. BW is trying to meet reggie on her own playing field for most of the series-- shenanigans ramping up in silliness that make reggie come face to face with her own flaws and problems and have to accept them and mature. but she never does.

the negativity worms giving BW more power may be a part of that line of thinking too-- like the negative conflict that’s like. obviously about the issues reggie and her friends are having in relation to maturing at different levels makes BW stronger. 

big deal is fucking terrified because he doesn’t understand BW’s intention. she wants to destroy the island because she wants reggie to grow up. she wants the citizens of endless, especially those who are lost in escapism, to realize how futile running away from their problems is. but i dont think he realizes that? i think he sees it as completely anarchistic and with no real reason but to destroy twelve entirely, which scares him. he may be working against reggie, but he also respects her because everyone else does. 

that leads to big deal’s confession being the only thing that saves BW being a perfect subversion of BW’s understanding of why he follows her in the first place. like sure at first it might have been a baser physical attraction but he seems legitimately interested in what she has to say, her opinions, her feelings. reggie sees that and may not understand WHY but relates to it as someone fighting with her romantic feelings with connelly, and so she lets BW go 

anyway this probably doesnt make any sense but im baby and i love them a lot.

Thank you for letting me live vicariously through both of these characters at the same time JGKDFJLKGLJDKF

[toydrill]

answering your questions part 2

I WASN’T EXPECTING TO MAKE TWO OF THESE IN A DAY but you guys are amazing and really fun to talk about theories with so i will, of course, talk to you about this stuff!!!!!!

on with... The Questions... im going to seperate them into little groups based on similar topics

MISC questions

thank you so much ;_; these are so sweet.... 

me trying to do my commissions and apply for jobs but i keep thinking about buttdeal redemption

questions about THE META/WORLDBUILDING

what’s really funny is that right after i got this ask i got another ask that basically answers it

dr. champion’s mental deterioration (and we see this captain elmer in ‘stranger forever’ too) is a direct influence of his length of time living in endless. i’m going to just start calling this the endless effect from now on because that seems to be a good shorthand for the short term memory loss, mania, and psychotic delusions and lack of time/reality perception that being on the island for too long causes

i REALLY like this idea too, but it also brings up a very... scary question: does the island of endless itself have some sort of sentience??? like that would explain it’s VERY specific changes in world logic based on esther and todd questioning TOO much... hmm... i will think on it

OKAY now that i have a readmore to dump about this question in. FUCK anon this shit hurted so much and maybe it’s just projecting but taking this angle for buttwitch really heavily implies a narrative in which she was either a victim of CSA or some kind of manipulation in youth that is now expressed as her hypersexualized appearance (and ego IN that appearance AS the buttwitch, a la “haven’t you ever seen a GROWN WOMAN?”, referring to reggie’s adolescent body as “weak and feeble”, et cetera) that caused her to escape to endless. 

she wanted to be and feel mature without the backlash of society making her feel like she had to wait. maybe she was abused/manipulated and when she was taken away from that situation, instead of being happy, she was just super pissed off that they felt like she wasn’t mature enough to handle it on her own? i also think that there had to be an event during her time in endless that would have caused her to become dormant or ‘die’, which is why when she is summoned again via reggie she’s confused at what endless has become (perhaps this event is when endless decided Fuck Adult Rights, like the last anon suggested???) 

i don’t know. julia vickerman help me

okay this is the BUTTDEAL section

YOU’RE SO RIGHT...HIS LITTLE MITTENS!!!! i also love that buttwitch’s reply, though it was probably meant as like a villainous Quip, sounds SO legitimate. she just sounds like she’s happily agreeing with him.....so cute

PLEASE i feel like it would make understanding buttwitch SO much easier for the main characters because big deal is her only confidant and is the one who is with her constantly. i love the trope of villain lackeys who are also inadvertently helping the heroes ... like the main three talking to him under the guise of giving him relationship advice but slowly learning more about buttwitch’s vulnerabilities and maybe HER PAST? or at least what she tells him. I DONT KNOW. I WANT REDEMPTION. I WANT REDEMPTION. I W

he catches up to her in the woods, nearly tripping over his feet because the damn thing is still...wriggling..., and she turns to him expecting to have to Kill him instantly. he scrambles to offer her her tail back, stammering and babbling about how he didn’t want her to leave without it and she is about to tell him off like OBVIOUSLY i dont fucking need it idiot its not going to just CONNECT BACK TO MY BODY but then realizes...oh shit... henchman material

so instead she’s like. slightly nicer. asks him why he isn’t with the rest of the people on the island shunning her . asks who that little orange haired freak was. and then is like “hmm....i think we can help each other” and he’s just (heart eyes) “YES MA’AM!”

[toydrill]

answering your questions: buttdeal special

HELLO EVERYONE!!!! seems like a lot today’s asks are centered around my favorite duo... thank you all for the questions!

speaking of buttdeal, @notherefortheanonhate recently posted their fanfic redemption arc forever and i read it today and I WANT MORE ALREADY... THE LORE OF IT IS SO INTERESTING ALREADY FROM THE JUMP. i highly recommend it and you all should support it.... please for the Buttdeal Community

OKAY TIME TO ACTUALLY ANSWER QUESTIONS

the idea of ESTHER BEING LIKE... A MATCHMAKER..... UUHGHHH YOU KNOW SHE WOULD DO once she realizes the romantic tension between BD and BW she’d fucking lose her mind and try to convince the other two to help her get them together under the guise that buttwitch having something she likes about the island might keep her from trying to destroy it..... UGHHH so cute

i’ve been planning on either writing something or drawing a little comic for it... but in the mean time i will always be answering questions :)

HAHAHA I REALLY LIKE THAT.... he’s trying to be subtle. HEY MA’AM. HAHA. WE SHOULD. COMMUNICATE. PLEASE. PLEASE TALK TO ME. MA’AM... M

HE’S REALLY CUTE!! he’s like obviously not very art inclined but he’s trying his best gfdkjgkfdjg 

WHEN YOU FINISH LET ME KNOW OR LIKE @ ME OR SOMETHING. I LOVE SUPPORTING MY FELLOW ARTISTS ESPECIALLY IF ITS FOR CHARACTERS I LOVE!!!

JKGDJKGJFKGKDJ that’s really funny . where do they sell him. i want 20

STOP THIS IS SOOOO CUTEEEE he’s trying his best. he loves her so goddamn much..... im so emotional thinking about how much he does for her. we all need a man like big deal

this is canon and the evidence is i am also in love with her and i would do that

BUT OF COURSE! usually he will purposely lose for her but sometimes she sees him setting up board games and card games by himself and he’s like... stunningly good at them. really good at shuffling cards and quickly dealing them and is probably really good at that peg game, you know the one you get at cracker barrel?

oh this is absolutely a theory! i actually talked about this with @brbdaly-a ... to quote me at like 3am: 

SHOUT OUT TO THIS ANON WHO LISTED LIKE ALL THE ICONIC BUTTDEAL MOMENTS IN MY ASK BOX LIKE A GODDAMN STAR... IM PROBABLY GOING TO KEEP THESE IN MY ASK BOX JUST SO I CAN THINK ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH GDGFDGDF

that’s all the questions for today everyone thank you so much....these literally heal me every day when i get up and work and i get to think about them for hours and then answer them with gusto....its like a little present..... ;_;

[toydrill]

answering your questions part 5

HI EVERYONE not too much to say this time around... here are my Fanfic Recommendations of today since we’ve got a couple new fics on ao3 since i’ve been napping through my depression. i try to check ao3 as often as i can but if you have a fanfic hosted elsewhere that i didn’t already reblog or mention, feel free to dm or shoot me an ask and i’ll read it!

movie club forever (reggie/conelly) | everchanging (a fanfic about shadi’s trans shane character arc)

comfort (buttdeal) | spencer forever (an OC fic, looking good so far!) | redemption arc forever (a buttwitch redemption/canon divergent fic, currently at ch4!)

OK ANYWAY TIME TO ANSWER/POST QUESTIONS AND MEMES

anons like these make me so happy because most of these HCs are just like... EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHIT I LOVE WAHHHH they’re so cute Q_Q they make my day. y’all better be writing fanfics or something so i can scream into the heavens

ANON.... (i start to shake in my boots)

listen... big deal is big of heart and dumb of ass. but he’s doing his best..... buttwitch sees his POTENTIAL

THIS IS REALLY CUTE HAHA i’m pretty open to theories and stuff so i don’t mind people not agreeing with my Main Ones cause i like hearing everyones ideas!

;-) speaking of which anon, i have some art of the literary variety coming in today....

big deal being crushed between bw’s thighs like

YESSSSSSSSSSSSGJKDFKJGKJFG BUTTWITCH BE LIKE “HELLO? I ONLY KNOW REPRESSION. COME BIG DEAL I CANNOT HANDLE THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT.”

THIS THEORY IS FUCKING COOL AHHH... especially considering the death part!! i hadn’t really thought about sadmantha coming out of the plant rather than the sand....that episode really hurted though

me reading the happy take and then reading the sad one like

OKAY THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE ASKS GKJDFKJGKDJFG Hopefully i will answer the next ones in a more timely fashion

[toydrill]

As creepy as the whole “some inhabitants of endless were created by its magic, but some used to be people” I think it’s almost creepier that it doesn’t really matter which of the two categories they fall under

i DEFINITELY agree with that. the idea that characters like tasty troy or colin COULD have been people but maybe were just like. CONCEPTS that just TOOK FORM SOMEHOW? or were beloved objects of previous visitors of endless distorted by its magic? FUCKED UP

[toydrill]

i feel like the fact that buttwitch makes a couple references to having a life outside of being a personification of reggie’s fear of puberty and maturity (being able to experience a range of emotion and interest outside of that personification, she mentions having a dream about being in her old high school in ‘not twelve forever’ [which might have just been a bit but you know how i love to overanalyze] and hints at having abandonment issues of her own in ‘brown roger forever’) makes me feel like something about the volcano or something that was living inside it might have once been human