#100reaonswhy

[100-reasonswhy]

100 reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 6 - THE LITTLE HEART DROP WHEN IT IS NEGATIVE

As each month swings around, you've over analysed every symptom and hoping that it means you're pregnant. You do everything right from shagging on the right days, taking folic acid, to doing the upside down wiggle for 10 minutes post sex because of wives tales and all that shit.

You pee first thing in the morning and it is a big fat negative. That heart drop sucks. It hurts more each time as each month and years goes on.

They don't tell you that it isn't all that easy to get pregnant when you really want to. No one tells you that the average for healthy couples under 35 is actually closer to a year. So that heart drop sucks as it happens over and over. You think there might be something when in reality you are utterly normal.

Hint: Have something special ready and planned if the result is negative. Maybe something you wouldn’t be able to enjoy if pregnant. Some nice brie, a bottle of wine or raw cookie dough. You'll have something to look forward to lift your spirits.

[100-reasonswhy]

100 reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 5 - HOW HARD IT IS TO PEE ON A STICK

It isn't just about aim but also splashback and amount. The instructions say hold under for 3 seconds but you have to find the steam, count, try to avoid splashing pee everywhere, all while trying to avoid voiding the test through too much, too little or hitting an incorrect location.

This is why I recommend peeing in a cup and sticking the test in after. Yes you have a gross pee cup but better really than doing something closer to a fairground attraction.

[100-reasonswhy]

100 reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 4 - SUDDENLY I NEED TO LEARN ABOUT MUCUS

Trying for a baby suddenly makes you very aware of what is coming out of you. For many it is also a sudden realisation that the jelly like substance that appears every so often is normal and it is mucus.

Nothing like "Hubby, I have mucus so let's go have sex" to put you in the mood. Or not. Mainly not.

Hint: while disgusting at first to think about, knowing all about when and why your body produces different substances will help you knowing when to have sex to increase chances of conception, having a heads up about if you are pregnant, to if the baby is on its way. Learn about it as early as possible because your midwife will probably ask you questions about it.

[100-reasonswhy]

Reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 3 - PEEING ON STUFF CAN GET EXPENSIVE

It gets expensive fast just how much money you can throw at stuff to pee on.

There are so many different types too including ones which tell you when to try having sex to others that predict how many weeks you are.

HINT - Did you know that you can buy bulk tests strips. Rather than paying around £3 for a stick you can get 5 for the same price.

Buy a cup of Nutella, eat up all the contents and sterilise it. When you need to take a pregnancy test, pee in the cup and then dip in the strip as instructed. You might be surprised how many less errors you get, less aiming and money you save. Also you get to eat a butt load of Nutella. Other cups can be used but aim for around the same size.

Don't throw away that cup once you are pregnant - you'll need to do a lot more pee samples than you realise.

[100-reasonswhy]

100 reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 2 - GETTING PREGNANT CAN BE VERY HARD

Trying to have a baby is not alway as way as all the films make it look. Couples will try for years to the point that the NHS rarely won't discuss anything with helping fertility until you've been trying for a year.

As each month goes on that fear of will it every happen gets worse. You've tried every app, tip, wives tale and diet but it feels like nothing is working.

And all that sex is exhausting. Fun yes but still exhausting.

[100-reasonswhy]

100 reasons why pregnancy sucks

REASON 1 - DECIDING TO HAVE A BABY

It sucks but we have to start with a really heavy hitter. I promise the rest of the series is far more cheerful and full of honesty. For many the discussion on whether to start trying will be a joyful one.

There are many others though who are faced with a difficult decision of when because of money, fertility, health or careers. Others it is because they have had a "happy accident" and need to decide if they keep the baby or not.

There are those who have had to make decisions because of an unexpected pregnancy. This includes those who have had to acknowledge that they might have to go it alone or not have kids at all.

For some it has been a choice of keeping a baby or keeping their husband. It is a life changing decision not always in the best circumstances but an importantly one.

It is a part of everyone's pregnancy journeys that we need to include. Remember that it won't define the rest of the pregnancy unless you want it to.

This turning point though can be utterly shit.

[100-reasonswhy]

Despite the title of this series I love my kids. They are wonderful and I would go through the hell that is pregnancy, childbirth and parenting for them again in a heartbeat. It does not change though that I've had to go through hell for them.

There are so many books on the wonders or facts of pregnancy. Many people have a wonderful time. I didn't. It seems like these days we like to only publicly show the good times and paint this perfect life where possible.

When I was pregnant a second time, people would ask me how I was. My response was always the same.

"I'm pregnant." I would grumble. My tone was always enough to show I was not in a glowing happy place. A few would ask why being pregnant wasn't all fairy tales and joyful moments of motherly bliss. What would follow was a barrage of issues from that day or even that hour. Many did not make the mistake a second time to ask why I wasn't feeling all sprinkles and rainbows.

Unsurprisingly the books or chapters aimed at men were always a little bit more honest. I gave up trying to read pregnancy books aimed at mummy's as they just sugar coated everything. That or just a terrifying list of all medical stuff.

There didn't seem to be a book about pregnancy that I would like. Not one aimed at giving a real understanding for the shit show I had gotten myself into; nor doing so in a way that didn't make me want to vomit from the overuse of flowers and smiling pretty ladies. I did not feel happy and pretty. I felt grumpy, tired, fat and ugly. Also the smell of flowers when pregnant made me feel sick.

To the many of you out there who aren't glowing 24/7, you are not alone. Pregnancy, even if you have the best pregnancy in the world, will suck at one point.

There will be a day when you don't feel great because of hormones, stressing about what lies again or even in some sort of pain. There is no way to avoid it but childbirth in all its forms comes with its own discomforts.

Pregnancy can be great but let's stop the assumption it is the most wonderful experience that a woman can go through.

So finally here is a mini series for a lot of reasons why pregnancy sucks. It won't have them all and many might not apply to you but it is at least a start. A place to hopefully show that it's ok for pregnancy to suck.

Here's to being open and honest about pregnancy, and knowing we aren't alone in this crazy ride towards not being pregnant.