#10.05.2022 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

griffin-girl-r · 1 year

Text

I need her

Created: 17.10.2021

Finished: 10.05.2022

Edited: 12.09.2023

Age: 19

Word count: 2,758

Warnings: Endgame, Death, Fainting

Request: No

Summary: Five years after Natasha disappears in the snap, you sacrifice yourself to bring her back.

—

When Natasha disappeared in the snap you were crushed.

Your mom had been the only constant thing in your life since the moment you were born and now, she was just gone as well as half of the population of the Universe.

For the first time in your life, you were truly alone.

When she turned to dust in your arms in the middle of the battlefield you had no idea what you should do first. Cry? Scream? Get up and fight to bring her back?

So you decided to not give up until you would bring everyone back, including your mother.

—

That's what you have done for the past five years.

You lost count of the sleepless nights when you did nothing else but research in order to find a solution.

When your uncle Scott came up with the whole time traveling idea you were the first one to agree.

After five years you felt hope and happiness again. You had the chance to bring Natasha back.

—

And now here you were, hanging from the side of a cliff, while the man who had been like a father to you tried to hold your hand to prevent you from falling.

You had fought on who should be the one jumping and as expected a Romanoff never loses.

"Y/N, no..." Clint begged, with tears in his eyes "What am I supposed to tell your mother if this works?! Please don't do it."

"It's okay, Uncle Clint. I'm not scared. Just, please, tell my mom how much I love her and also tell her that I fought for her as she did for me. I will see you guys one day again. I'm sure of it." You sadly smiled at him and kicked yourself off the cliff

You felt nothing as your body hit the bottom, only darkness. Your mom being the last thought in your mind.

Clint had to look away from the sick sight in front of him. You were the daughter of the person he considered his sister. Even more than that, you were like his daughter. He always used to say that you are his oldest daughter because he was there for you even before you were born. In some way, you were his first kid, even if the only love he felt for your mom was the sibling one.

How is he going to deliver this news to Natasha? How is he going to tell her that the child she left behind was gone forever? It would crush her down.

—

But the moment he feared the most was here.

The battle was over and everyone was back.

His best friend too.

Natasha had looked all over the battlefield to, at least, catch a glimpse of you. She couldn't wait to hold you in her arms again.

No one dared to tell her that you died to bring her back. So they just got back to the compound in silence, after they fought and won, since the recent loss of Tony affected them all.

"How many months have we been missing?" Natasha asked as she entered the livingroom

"Not months, Nat... Years..." Steve sighed

"What-" Her jaw dropped

"You have been gone for five years, Natasha. Five whole years." Steve looked at his feet

"Oh my God... Y/N... She's almost- She's almost..." Nat was too stunned to talk properly

"She's 19 almost 20 years old. Yes..." Steve confirmed

Natasha felt her heart drop. She had perfectly missed all of your teenage years. She missed one of the most important five years of your life.

"W-Where is she? Where is my daughter? I want to see her. How is she?" The woman started to run around, trying to find you

She bolted to your room. Empty. Then hers. Empty, but looking exactly the same way she had left it.

What was left of the team was running after her, trying to calm her down, when suddenly, Natasha came face to face with a wall. But not the wall stopped the former spy. No. The framed photo hunged on it did.

She saw a face she didn't know.

A young, tall woman, with a big grin on her face. Athletic body and defined facial features, with long red hair just like her own natural hair.

Natasha felt something familiar for the young woman in the picture, who looked so much like her. But she couldn't understand what.

"Who is this?" She pointed to the photo, confused

"You don't recognize her?" Bruce asked shocked

"No. I-" Then Natasha's eyes looked into the girl's eyes and froze. She was met with the same green eyes, she sees every time her daughter would come to her mind. It can't be what she is thinking. Can it? "Y/N?" Nat's voice broke as she whispered her daughter's name

"Yeah, Nat. It's her. We took this photo a few weeks ago." Steve took a step toward his friend "After Scott proposed the idea to travel back in time and bring everyone back."

Nat chuckled as tears fell down her cheeks "Hah... Look how big she is. She grew up so much." She said in awe "She's beautiful."

Sadly, her moment was interrupted by Clint.

"She was..." He spoke to her for the first time since she came back

Natasha turned towards him "What do you mean, Clint?! What do you want to say with 'was'? Did something happen to her? Is my daughter alright?"

Panic was starting to take over her as the silence grew longer.

"Answer me, damn it!" Natasha shouted

"She's gone! Okay?" Clint yelled back "She is dead. She died to bring you and everyone else back. She sacrificed herself."

"No, no, no, no. It-It can't be... You're lying. This can't be true. It just can't!" She cried out

"I'm sorry, Nat. It's my fault. It should have been me, but she was faster." Clint avoided looking in her eyes "To be able to take the soul stone, a sacrifice needed to be done. A soul for a soul. And Y/N was her mother's daughter. She had to win at any cost."

The woman broke down sobbing and slowly curled up in a ball on the ground.

"All this time I just dreamed of having her back in my arms again, to hold her and to hear her sweet voice calling me 'Mama' once again. Life can't do this to me. After everything I've been through since I was a child, I thought that I could finally be happy with my baby girl. My miracle. My angel that brought life and joy where there couldn't have been none. My only baby..."

The team was too afraid to move. They just let her cry her pain. Being at a loss of words when it came to comforting a mother who just lost her child.

After some time of crying, Natasha stood up, took the picture with her baby from the wall, and headed straight to your room, locking herself inside.

They all just let her stay there and occasionally checked on her and brought her food.

—

Time passed and the big day arrived.

The day Steve was going to return the stones.

Once again he tried to take Nat out of your room with no success.

He left. But instead of Steve being the one to land on the platform, everyone was shocked to see you standing there, dusting your clothes.

"Remind me to never go "body" jumping ever again." You joked as you got tickled to the ground by Sam and Bucky

"How are you here? Where's Steve?" They questioned you at the same time

"I honestly don't know. It seems that the exchange worked the other way around too and about Uncle Steve, he said he has some work to do. An old business to take care of." You shrugged "I guess we won?"

"We did, kid." Bucky said smiling

"Mama?" You hopefully looked at the men

"She's in your room, mourning after you. The news of your death really broke her." Bruce told you

You nodded and took off running in the direction of your room, flashing one last smile in the men's direction.

—

"Natasha, come on. Open this door. If you stay locked in here forever it won't bring Y/N back. She wouldn't want you to live like this. She sacrificed herself for you to be able to live a full and happy life." Clint tried again to convince Nat to get out of your room

It was a daily routine now. Clint was sitting outside your room and talked with your mother trying to make her leave that room. But all his attempts failed as he received the same answer every day.

"I can't be happy anymore, Clint. Without her, I have no reason to live. I'm empty inside. I need her." Natasha recited the words that Clint grew tired to hear

Usually, he would give up after this and leave her alone but today he had other ideas.

"You know?" Clint sat on the ground with his back supported by the door "She told me to tell you something and I'm sorry I haven't told you her words until now."

From inside the room, Clint could hear a few sounds and he could feel a soft bang on the other side of the door meaning that Natasha just placed herself in the same position as Clint on the other side of the door.

Clint took this as his signal to keep talking.

"She said she loves you. She asked me to remind you that she fought for you, as you did for her. And she wasn't scared. She smiled while telling me that she's not scared to die for you." Clint teared up at the painful memory

After she breathlessly listened to Clint, Nat finally opened her mouth again.

"She said that?!" Her voice cracked

"Yes, she did, Nat. That's why I know that‐" Clint's trail of words was interrupted when you showed up at the end of the hall

The man actually rubbed his eyes waiting for you to disappear but instead, you started running towards him with a bright smile on your face.

"Please don't hurt me because I didn't take care of your mother." Clint covered his face with his hands "I don't want you to take me with you yet."

"Oh, Uncle Clint. Still as silly as always." You laughed as you moved his arms away from his face with your hand

Clint could feel the touch and never felt more afraid and confused.

"Y-Y/N? How? You're really here?" He mumbled under his breath

"Uncle Steve took care of it. Thanks to him I'm back now. More alive than ever." You smiled as you leaned to hug him

Clint shared the hug, still not completely understanding what was happening.

"Can I have a moment with my mom, please?" You pulled back after a few seconds of hugging "I promise I'll explain everything you want to know later."

Clint nodded and left, but not before he told you "I'm proud of you, kid. You're a hero. Most importantly, you are your mother's hero."

—

Taking a deep breath, you quickly went over what you are going to tell Natasha when she sees you.

Knocking on the door, you received no response. You knocked again and again and again.

"What do you want Clint?!" Natasha snapped from behind the door thinking Clint was annoying her again

"It's me, Mama. It's Y/N. Your baby." You softly answered her

The door was opened with the speed of light and a shocked and distressed Natasha appeared in front of you.

'Say something.' You thought 'You wanted to have her here. Now do something.'

Natasha froze in place, immediately going pale, as all the air was knocked out of her lungs and her legs gave up on her.

You quickly reached forward when your mom started to fall and caught her just in time.

"Mama! Mama! Come on, Mama. Look at me. Just look at me. You're okay. I'm here. I'm here..." You whisper-shouted as you lightly shook Natasha's head

When the dizziness passed a little, Natasha fully opened her eyes and saw your full of concerned eyes staring at her face.

She could not believe it. It must be some kind of sick trick that her mind was playing on her. You can't be here. Can you?

'No!' Natasha shouted inside her head 'She's dead Natasha. Accept that. She's not coming back. She's not coming back...'

"Yeah..." You smiled when you saw her looking at you "Look at me. Look!" You took her soft hand and gently held it to your cheek "You feel that? I'm here. Just feel me. Please say something, Mama."

You were not real and yet Natasha could feel you.

She felt your warm cheek against her palm. She could see the life in your eyes and the loving look you were giving her. She could hear your soft breath as her head rested against the rise and fall of your chest. She could see the slight smile on your lips and she could hear your, more mature, voice whispering sweet things to her.

Is it really all just her imagination?

The woman slowly started to caress your face with her fingers, trying to reassure herself that this is not an illusion.

"Y/N..." She finally whispered your name in disbelief

"It's me, Mama." You nodded "I'm back and you are too. I've missed you so much."

With that, you leaned and kissed her head.

This was the moment your mother finally realized that you are not a ghost or the product of her imagination and wrapped her arms very tightly around you, afraid you would slip away.

"M-my baby! My little girl." Natasha sobbed out "Oh, my Y/N."

After her cries were reduced to sniffles and silent tears, you wiggled your way out of Natasha's embrace and looked at her.

"Are you feeling okay? Do you think you could stand? Or do you want me to carry you?" You asked her

"I'm okay. The last time I was with you, I was the one able to carry you. Not the other way around."

You chuckled and slowly helped Natasha stand up on her feet. Allowing her to support onto you and leading her to the bed.

"You've grown up so much. You're even taller than me. How dare you grow up so much without me being here to watch you? How dare you die just to bring me back? How could you possibly think that I could live without you?!" Natasha cried as you two took a sit on the bed

"I'm so sorry for growing, Mama. I couldn't control it. But I'm not sorry for dying to bring you back. I know you would have done the same thing for me and I couldn't live with myself if I knew I had the chance to bring you back and I didn't take it. You can be mad at me or whatever but I don't regret it."

Natasha looked at you, tears streaming down her face and she, again, pulled you in a hug.

"I thought I would never see you again. I missed you so much. You have no idea how much I needed you." You whispered into her shoulder

"Mama's got you, baby. I'm here now, we both are. Everything is going to be okay. Please never do this to me again. I can't live without you." Natasha kissed the side of your head

"Can we finally live that life we always wanted for us? Just us two, spending as much time together as we can without having to go on missions again." You proposed

"Yes, we can sweetheart." Natasha smiled at you "I don't want to miss any other moments from your life. You're all I have. Without you I have nothing. I am nothing."

—

After everything that had happened, Natasha Romanoff has finally found peace and true happiness.

But not in the way she expected when she was young.

She used to believe that she could have peace only if she died but you have shown Natasha that she was wrong all along.

You both had finally found peace and happiness in being in each other's life without any war or monster that was waiting to attack from the dark.

Mother and daughter were together again. And none of you planned on losing each other.

#mama nat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha's child #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x baby!reader

46 notes · View notes

only-lonely-lovers · 2 months

Text

10.05.2022

tags: emergent sexuality (first time masturbating etc.) , blowjobs

notes: hijinks. this is PART 1, you can read more in PART 2.

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：when my boy

あ：stop the post spiritually i think this is that

つ：its so scary and ominous that it has the costume head like it worries me he's gonna put it on you anf fck yuo what does it herald

あ：this fucking mascot contingent

つ：got so horny for the first time in your life you need help

あ：I always get the impression that 1 artist like, basically HC'd amane proceeding to have some thing for like. plush as a result and honestly i love the thought you just give a guy a specific thing

つ：i really enjoy the concept like he's gotten all messed up…. i love that in th e event he's like… why my… heart beating fast…. he rly feels like he doesnt know what it is

あ：rhghjghh like you dont even know what this feeling is littel alien

つ：bonarr from drikk coffeeh

あ：i get a ?

つ：tsukasa come help me figure this thing out i just get so hot and my heartbeat quickens. when i look at this costume

あ：the thought like. tsukasa comes home to this amane is just like barking orders. HELP me understand what's happening to me…

つ：what is it about it… and its funny if either tsukasa genuinely has no idea, or if he observed what aoi did and is like (: awe… oops…

but regardless he would have to ACT like ah i just don't know….. (:? do you want me to put it in?

あ：Whatever the case it is just like. alright let's see… I'll try and help, to the best of my abilities Amane

but honestly i think the second Tsukasa began to put on the mascot head it'd be like HOLD ON… we're on to something Don't move

doesnt it all just make amane like such a funny clown though fjghf ghg like if he could omnisciently watch himself and understand he's being such an animal he'd like wanna die

つ：he's just such a little alien creature

あ：really stumbling his way through being horny. it'd be so like mghhh… [touches inhumanly] while tsukasa is in there like. placid and open like. Is it good

つ：[distantly, dramatically, but idiotically] i don't understand…. what I want…. [touching its felt face] what is it………..

Tsukasa would be so placid. like ahp. this is not what i expected ❤️ to happen. uhmmm

あ：💭 how do i help my little dumpling

つ：well, Amane…… what does it feel like? is it scary? you seem………………………… excited? (:

あ：It's scary… but I want to understand it… It's conflicting. [fussy sounding] ugh… i want to. look at it. so i dont want to wear it myself.

つ：should I move in a certain way? [puts paws up] like a rabbit? or…..

あ：mmh. maybe? i mean… you could try. [genuinely dont know. if thats anything.] [hands continue roaming the face] [goes to touch neck hole zone like. maybe delayed thinking about how tsukasa is really in there. hm…]

つ：[tsukasa very patiently sitting there not knowing where this will go]

its actually funny if Amane can after a moment register like. that it is arousal. but thats still . knits brow why….and why now.

Tsukasa would be so earnestly [pauses] [tries to be as polite as possible] maybe you are a 'late bloomer'….. <3?

あ��you finally commune enough to parse that and then youre like. well wtf do i do with that…

つ：its sortof funny to have a version of reality amane was asexual until you accidentally ruined him

あ：soiled it through my funsies

i don't think this amane is really as defensive as other ones in terms of like. he's not trying to keep tsukasa at such an arms length about this stuff (i mean, hasnt had a reason to) so i think he's more capable of simply admitting himself it was a horny thing… and then tsukasa can respond like aww…

being suggested he's a late bloomer is like. sits with hands in lap. I gues but still, a bit defensively like: wait. are you not. [pouting]

つ：quite a question honestly makes tsukasa think its funny in this AU i think tsukasa is just like. i know i like amane lol ❤️ i just well behaved

あ：It's a thinker. tbh. cute to think about. It's a testament to his sheer grace

つ：i have fun. but ultimately bow to amane. whatever he'd like. but its so funny to think about. arousal. i think its liek. has reviewed his life at some point and fully accepted, been horny for Amane from like. so young 💔 like age 6 or something as far back as you can remember distinct moments

its simply like. pleased to be horny for you doing anything dont ask anything of it just Am pleasantly buzzed from watching you do doohikeys and ❤️ perhaps sometimes help out in a way that makes me sortof horny, like putting you to sleep or making you not have to pee for the whole duration of your tournament so you never have to use the public restroom like you hate to

[keeping your bladder empty throughout hours] lala. aouhhmm~

あ：The life of servitude and doing things like this constantly perpetually, is like the balancing stats for all the awareness. Like… i enjoyyyy the bigshow

Admittedly i do like the kind of dubious consent to all of it, I think it's… part of it. Like aheehe. i make your life better. Shhh dont worry about it

There's not really room for doubt though because you get to watch firsthand the results, of Amane being pampered and spoiled and liking his things exactly the one way. I think it's why Tsukasa can justify like. sometimes a treat for me. victimless crimeless crimes

つ：iiii think its cute though if amane asks that question sortof expecting him and tsukasa to be the same but tsukasa like…. just being silent and ❤️ makes amane feel sortof put off furrows brow again.

Amane like so, what. you feel this? all the time? about something?

あ：Oh he absolutely thought they were on the same level at least… the implication that their feelings are potentially different is like… ?? ?????? [pouts harder] Ehhh… Tsukasa!!

つ：……….. ❤️ ……………….. gomenasai bows head

あ：Kinda leaving Amane to feel like a dunce as the seconds tick by. like wtf so it was some knowable thing… and Tsukasa just deals with it all the time..??

[still trying to understand, frustrated] Does it not feel weird? And distracting? Do you not do anything about it? This has been my whole night

つ：bobs head side to side. aaaah…. you get used to it….! you get better… at working through it ❤️

あ：Really...

つ：haaaaii…

あ：[organically a little relieved] [shoulders get a little less tense] Okay… [fussy still] ehh, but. I just have to figure it out? That's annoying… [guy who has everything done for him] Ugh. I don't want to deal with this anymore

つ：[pitying him so earnestly] aaaahhhh…. hmmmm… [but… i curious ❤️ ] is it all so bad, though….? it's exciting, a little, maybeee…?

あ：…………….. I mean. Maybe. But I don't like that you have it all figured out and I don't [moodily leans back] It's like being a beginner at a game while the other is experienced, no one likes that You just want to skip ahead to the part where you're good at it

つ：god me too amane. pant

あ：[hot wind moment]

つ：feeling the emotion of resisting treat simply crosses legs casually

あ：oh another day this is a game of like. dont go too fast and conceptualize an amane really honing his sexuality

つ：[being normal] aaah, it would be nice to get you to the part of being 'good at it'.

あ：Yeah [not thinking]

つ：I guess everybody doesn't like when it's just starting out, hehe nobody likes to talk about it…

あ：Hm, that's true. Though, I don't get it, why not talk about it. If it's so great.

つ：[threading fingers together with elbows on legs] wweeelll….. you're feeling it over something so …. [touches mascot head with hand briefly, looking at it warmly]…… it's often a bit like that…………. the feeling is good, though…. even if it's hard to talk about…. [glance]

あ：[gaze tracks to the head. stares blankly for a moment] [delayed] … wait, isn't it usually people, and not… things. [like an alien] that's why people date. [no tone] That's why this has been confusing.

つ：[glancing away a bit but still smiling]

あ：Is it things for Tsukasa too [looking.]

つ：……………… no………….. ah-- but-- you don't have it figured out yet. right…? maybe it's only misdirection at the moment. it may clarify a bit later……..

あ：Hm… ah. Oh. Okay. I guess that makes sense. [thinks] [makes. a face] ………….. this is hard to think about… I can touch this [points] but. If it was a person. I'd want to touch them? But I don't want to want that. You can't just touch people. You have to talk to them. Am I going to have to talk to them.

つ：[all the love in his heart, trying to hold it back really. glancing away. the conversation is kinda like… ohh ❤️ amane…. ah… aren't i in such a little pickle loving you…. ❤️ enjoying my lot in life. where it's desolate to anyone else's perspective]

you don't have to do anything, Amane…… you can….. self-regulate this sort of thing, if you really want to….. if you don't like others [pulls mascot into lap] there's no reason you can't use this, however long you want to. [pets it] if you don't want to escalate to people. …………………….. [<3 playing with fire] I….. am content with proxies. I don't think it's necessary to escalate. whatever you're most comfortable with.

if you don't like the bunny [makes it dance around in front of his face]… then you can move from it…. with a little effort… [pops out from behind it] but if you'd like to avoid people, the bunny or othersuch can be your friends ❤️

あ：[staring at it…] [likes to see tsukasa's hands petting it, moving it around, it's a little bit like being hypnotized for a sec.] [… the comfort of tsukasa speaking in this manner is also familiar and puts him at ease, there's an interesting interplay of feeling horny but-? soothed…] [very simply] Okay.

[reaches forward and touches it] I've decided this is fine. Even if it's weird. I like that it's a "thing". It doesn't have to be another person in the room with us.

つ：[ ❤️ so endearing ....]

あ：… if I have to figure this out. Then, an object is better. You can do whatever you want with it and move it around and imagine anything. [moving it around quietly, still in tsukasa's grip] … I think that's exciting.

つ：[uuuhhhnmg talk slower]

あ：Though, maybe it won't have to be this… bunny. There might be something better. [brain expanding]

つ：[moving the bunny around as if it enjoys Amane touching it very much so] there might be!

あ：[pets…]

つ：I'll keep my eyes peeled for you.... [nuzzling. hand with stupid bunny. using all my chi to focus on talking normally, which i am a master of] ... I'll bring things home for you to try out, similar to this.

あ：[flatly] Do that, yeah. If you found anything interesting I'd want to see

つ：a moment for tsukasa to blink and think about how he is going to have to find a way to be chill and not come home with like 20 stuffed animals at once

あ：how to act like human

つ：anyway I think after a beat Amane should interrogate Tsukasa but try to sound casual. like . so whats yours. your thing

あ：i do think he'd want to hear about it since, tsukasa mentioned proxies perhaps trying to fluidly transition by being like. If you're happy with proxies, I don't see why I wouldn't be actually. You sound like you like yours. [leans in.] [looking up at]

つ：[places bunny in lap and makes it face himself, as if seeking counsel from it] hmmm…. …. it would be only fair….. to talk about it….. so Amane doesn't feel so alone.

あ：Uhuh.

つ：……………………. [squinty eyes] I wonder if you'll see me differently……. [ … ❤️ I can erase memories …. if I have to….]

あ：[thinking about it literally] I think any reply is going to be something I didn't expect. Because I didn't know you did any of this

つ：[squeezing the bunny's ears, just fiddling with it while anticipating. enjoying the feeling of anticipation] [ahhh, real sense of fear…. and to organically come into this, so interesting….]

あ：[eyes dart down. look back up]

つ：IIIIIIIII………… feel how you do… [popping bunny up and facing it to Amane again] about this………… foooooor……………… [putting bunny into his face] you, Amane! [retracts it after, back into lap, and laughs, knuckles to mouth] …… especially when you tell me what to do…… ha-ha-ha

あ：[wind rustling] he's truly your little autist in that he's just slow like. tries to connect the concepts. looks at tsukasa. looks at the bunny. reaches and picks it up? and looks at it? and puts it back down

つ：shink it shruu tsukasa is leaning back and exhaling, looking elsewhere, smiling pleasantly, placidly. though his heart's racing…. is it a confession? hah…..

あ：...?? ....???? ................. ???? ??? Really

つ：mhm! you see, then, it can be anything, and hard to talk about!

あ：Ah… uhuh. … …… [poke poke the ears]

つ：[squeezes them as well]

あ：…… it's the same?

つ：hai, hai. Just the same. do-ki, do-ki

あ：doki doki?

つ：mhm! I'm very used to it now.

あ：[puts hand on his chest] [just to like... assess. Truth???]

つ：[can't control response to that, bodily, but focuses on exhaling calmly. well, the heartrate will increase… it's a good example] …… just like yours, isn't it?

あ：[loading in the pulse… it is indeed a mirror his own, which has felt taut for a while now] [it helps to have something very physical to pair with what tsukasa said… nods…]

[retracts paw quietly. sits there more. like. uhhhhh. okay.] [blinks] Um… okay. [is mentally walking back the various things tsukasa has said. but tbh its almost like scarily straightforward like, well it all checks out, this is why it would be something you do via proxies & also why i dont know about it (its not a stranger/new person) & why i've never been told & why tsukasa said he didnt know what i'd think/feel distinctly.]

I believe you. [as if confirmation necessary]

つ：[merely the pleasant warmth of amane not being upset at all. thats so sweet… so kind….. ]

あ：[futzes with hands in lap] I was wondering how you figured so much out without me noticing. If you liked other people without telling me, it'd be confusing. But you're always with me so… that checks out

つ：smiles.

あ：[tilts head, kinda quirks lip] …… you like when I tell you what to do?

つ：[blinks a little slowly. keeps eyes closed for a second] yep!

あ：Why amane to himself: i wouldnt like that. if some jerk just told me what to do all day boo

つ：[coughs a little just from how rude he is. oh ❤️ ] mmmm!! …. why the rabbit….. [moves it around] [tfw you know why the rabbit. but you lie] it's………….. just how it is……………

あ：Oh [owned] Hm… okay Is it really enough to just do stuff I like to touch the rabbit…

つ：it's simple enough. really.

あ：tfw amane isnt thinking about how him and tsukasa touch all the time

つ：[pondering while touching it] some people need more than proxies or venting alone……… [twiddling it back and forth a bit] ……. but some are fine with that. We'll find out what you are!

i feel like the convo could close out so casually but amane will rly think about this next time he tells tsukasa what to do. and just be like… wtf how could it be like. the. he's…. … ?? …. like now…..

just have an organic moment of grumbling for tsukasa to do something later in the night and then be like [jolt] wait!

あ：I think it's a rune still like. but i dont get it actually. how could it feel good. horny?? doing it???

but like part 2 when receiving the thing he grumble for: ,,, if its why tsukasa gets me stuff,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats fine like… ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if the other option is i dont get stuff 💔

つ：so thats why he's SO patient….

あ：its not upsetting, decidedly. i think its just puzzling. and kinda weird. it's hard to see as really tangible its just tsukasa so its like. ok. weird cuz i had no idea but. its not going to change our day so its fine…..?

oh but you know. if tsukasa proceeds to like procure amane things to "try out"… like we still venture into this… i think it'll force amane to be like wtf what if tsukasa just moves on though and swaps me out with something what if this isnt how it'll always be. no-!!!!!!!!!!!!

つ：like, if there's something you can find thats 'better' than that which originally turned you on…. nnno.

あ：Though maybe this thought doesnt congeal until he finds something he likes better himself

つ：something that makes the original rabbit look like shit

あ：i do want it to just shift into plush like. gets you a nice faaannncy rabbit, nice fur better size. got heft like weighted by beans. really make that hting look liek dogshit you throw the drone with the head on it in the trash the bed just has multiple plush now

つ：i feel like this amane is so dense ina particular way he will. jerk off later. figure that out while tsukasa is busy. but like only after doing it a few times be like [jolt] does tsukasa--???

あ：really not until amane has like nutted does he like wake up mentally like. does tsukasa??? do this. does he come about me. whoa

つ：whoa--!

あ：but like [seriously] noo what… how could i never notice [DOESNT notice NORMAL things happening around him] [doesnt notice when tsukasa set down a plate of cookies for him]

つ：

あ：Later approaching tsukasa very seriously. going to ask in a one-two punch like. Tsukasa do you do other things. Do you jerk off. & then like, are you looking for better things to swap out? Are you going to stop liking to do things for me so much

つ：oh its being punched but like. DOES this tsukasa jerk off much. its something to think about

あ：maybe on the roughest nights. lol

つ：maybe it has to be a really part-- yeah. yeah like. i dunno. amane really does some shit sometimes

あ：I think he puts you through the ringer sometimes I think also he accidentally dirty talks you. like by virtue of your circumstance

つ：its gotta be like. summer night, amane is peak fussy, pissed off, won't let you relax, is demanding, he's stinky YOU'RE sweaty and going from room to room fetching him things, he's rude.

あ：a boy who really wont let you leave him alone for a second that day yanks wrist

つ：prone to groaning dramatically from the heat makes you help him take off his pants after school and put a fan on him

あ：you bring him food he doesnt even take it. just opens his mouth. and so on [points] [spoonfeed me the meal you slaved over] on bad days i think he's really like. one word commands. barks FAN nmghh… PANTS!!!! showerrr

つ：and on those days its like. once you sleep spell him. just have a moment

あ：You really cant blame him. though reporting "yes" to jerkoffs would make amane react visibly , like, naniiii

つ：he would just be honest indeed… simply so….. like oh, poor amane, uhaoh, needs, this, consolation, it seems..

あ：Eh really really…. ?? when… we share a bedroom [incredulous] ehh i cant believe it…

つ：you have to go to bed sometime…… ^^

あ：[looks down] i DO… You always fall asleep after me. ahhh

つ：[looking aside] … [smiles] ….. but, replacement, you said? … I said what I did about proxies, and stuff. But I don't need that. I don't have the time, anyway, you keep me so busy~ [being playful]

あ：[processes] [visibly relieved]

つ：[not actually being serious] so long as Amane tells me what to do~ [you could stop talking to me for 20 years and i would still be here for you] [but i should sound more normal….]

あ：Oh! Okay. This is convenient, actually.

つ：…………. isn't it…………… [surprised but. yes. true.]

あ：I want you to keep doing stuff for me. I, don't want to be replaced right now. But if you really like it it's fine… you don't have to think about other stuff yet… [kinda muttering to self, arms crossed]

[sits upright] Actually, you should really tell me, if you ever planned on changing things, because. You'd suddenly leave me with so much to do out of nowhere

つ：[mmmgh…… a little difficult! but…. enjoys that feeling, of something feeling so intense. it's novel, rare. his life is so comfortable….. tsukasa's that is. its been a while since he felt challenged by anything] [as a result though, becomes more honest. i should accept the challenge, and not merely say only that which is easy to shrug off] I'll never plan on changing things, Amane. Really.

…. it could only be you. So, you don't have to worry. Even if……. [exhales, but is pleasant, 'cuz he likes this part of it all] you didn't want to tell me what to do anymore……. I would have to think about all the times you already have, forever. And live with that! [eyes closed smile]

あ：[observing tsukasa as he talks… a bit like a particle. he's not so intense in reality, discussing this… especially after being reassured, it's like an anxiety quickly got smoothed over by tsukasa so he moved on quickly] [simmers… is simply pleased to hear forever, is pleased that he won't have to worry… that's what he likes to hear.]

Ah, really…? [hand at mouth..] …… even if I didn't do the part you liked? [again, just a 'couldnt be me' emotion for a moment kfjghf its shallow…] Why not though. You could find anyone that could tell you what to do…

Actually, it's always been a little confusing. My side of things feels… [doesnt know how to say it any less blunt] better? … you're always there when I ask, and you do what I tell you. I couldn't find someone else to do what you do.

つ：…..there's been a miscommunication, it seems… or you forgot! Our conversation! [standing up] I didn't say my 'thing' was being told what to do………………. I said, it was Amane. Telling me what to do. Amane, first [putting one finger up] [kindof letting his… crazy atmosphere show, for once]

[walks around the room idly, hands behind back] a silent Amane is better than any person. An Amane who doesn't look at me, is better than any person.

[stops walking, kicks a little] it's the Amane-part that is my 'thing'. It's just nice, the other stuff. It's fun. I like it a lot. [big grin!] …. but anything is ok. It's just that it is you. so, actually! it's not that you're more replacable, at all! It's impossible ❤️

あ：[feeling… ensmallened for a second.. like.. ah did forget…………………….] [watching Tsukasa attentively though, tracking his motions. it's interesting. it's not like tsukasa never acts this way, but amane detects the degree of craziness, like a scent in the air… something making the words thicker feeling… heavier…] [internally simply wonders if this is…? arousal…? is tsukasa excited to get to talk about it like this? lay it out? declare it? … it's fascinating for him to be able to be so 'fixed'…]

Impossible. [repeats.]

[… it's not often Amane is made to really reflect on their relationship so consciously… or feelings… it's not his expertise. but he feels like he's finally having to think about the future, and the concept of things changing. the idea of replacement… of upgrading to something better, of finding something different.]

… I did forget. [admitting this] It's hard to remember it's about me. I keep thinking about it as 'objects' or 'actions'. I thought you were telling me that night that I do things that make you horny about me.

It didn't feel very really for a while, too. … I'm trying to understand.

つ：[hnnrkgkh hearing Amane say horny about me. luckily he's already walking about so he can just face away casually and pant open mouthed silently for a second]

あ：….. [tilts head back] …… but I never thought about things changing before, actually… or, you having a new person you like more than me. And. I didn't like that. If you were… [lip pulling] busy. with. [straining audibly, you can tell he hasn't crested this thought fully before, and is doing it in real-time] someone else. suddenly. and, I couldn't do anything about it. I'd hate that.

[looks around, like eyes drifting about the ceiling] I couldn't do what you do… You couldn't just stop looking at me or be silent.

つ：[mmmm…. indeed……. twiddling hands behind back, as Yugis both tend to do. Teetering on heels a bit.] You'll never have to worry about any of that. [turnsszz a little] …… if the reason I stay is something a little odd, that's fine with Amane ❤️ ? [turns away] I didn't think I would tell you about it. but, it happened. [ambles about a bit]

あ：I don't care what it is. As long as you stay. [replied very quickly and certainly, but pauses after.]

つ：[squeezes his own hands together]

あ：You could feel anything. [talking slower… like listening to himself] … …….. you just have to keep being Tsukasa.

つ：[enjoying feeling his own chest seize at this]

あ：amane is suddenly like ? it doesnt sound that different actually

つ：[throws hands up] OKAY! Nothing has to change, ever!

あ：[claps a little. empty-headed little thing. like woo.. yeah say it.] [rambling a little] You're used to it… so, really, I must be used to it, logically. So, it's fine.

I think I just see your weird feelings as you being you, at this point. It's just Tsukasa being Tsukasa So maybe it'd be weirder if you changed

つ：haaaaah--! you'll see it for what it is, now!

[props self on shoulder] Amane. are you curious when I started feeling this? [delirious]

あ：[chest feels weird…] [stares. nods]

つ：[around Amane's shoulders, drapes his arms, to display his fingers in front of him-- 5 on one hand, 1 on the other] at least since we were --6!! but that's just what I rememberrrrrr

あ：[looking at this] [plainly] Wow. That's a long time. [frog in boiling water rn really being like cooked steadily from this convo without understanding it]

[face feeling warm. tsukasa's presence nearby is like… making his body alert.] [shivers uncontrollably] You've never felt different… Am I different lately? [distressed]

つ：Nope! [slouches on Amane a bit] well. Amane seems to be thinking a-lot. It's just not about devices this time. [squinting cheeky smile] [feeling chest beating against amane… is so interesting! knowing he can feel it, and why…. hah! so novel to not be hiding]

あ：There's a lot to think about… [muttering defensively. whiny] [touches tsukasa on the arm with one hand, though its a very light touch, too cautious to feel normal] [thinking very hard]

つ：[such an interesting vibe rn. I do not know what it is ❤️ ]

あ：[it suddenly might as well be like. lightning crackling inside amane's head as he thinks VERY VERY HARD] what if… ? iii…… like that you're this way? [sherlock mindpalacing]

Doesn't that mean that I like that you're horny for me. ? If you've always been like this too Don't I just like it? And never want it to stop.

つ：[slumps over, head also dropping over Amane's shoulder] [a little bit dead weight] [takes a second] I don't know ❤️

あ：[becomes stiffer] But isn't that what it means [mad, suddenly, like why arent you agreeing.] [tugs at] [stubborn] It'd even mean that I've liked it for years

つ：[cant control breathing hotly.] whatt're ya gonna do bout it? [sounding-- regressed!]

あ：I don't know [defensive, childish] I'm trying to figure it out

つ：you can liiiike iiiit…. nothing has to change ❤️

あ：I like it I don't want it to change

つ：[jitters] ohppp…. [pulls away from finally, but by like, grabbing amane's shoulders and pushing himself off from them]

あ：[feeling huffy… its a funny mental state despite everything…] [turns around suddenly, tugs the front of tsukasa's top downwards, handling him in that overly-familiar rude way, until he can grab tsukasa's face directly and stare into it]

つ：HYA--!

あ：It's almost like this Amane needs it so bluntly laid out like. The pointed interest, all the time before this to percolate, this drawn out convo… and then finally like looking at tsukasa is like ah. m. HE'S HORNY!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this makes my pp hurt in response

[blurts] WAIT. I FELT IT

つ：AH?

あ：[looks down] actually its probably like we both look down like idiots

つ：sympathetically looks down when amane does for tsukasa i think it is cartoonishly like lightning bolts SFX AAAHHHHHH ah-HHHA? [grips Amane's shoulders too tight to mirror Amane's position incidentally]

あ：This is so weird It was like… looking at you felt… like looking at the rabbit the first time, like.. doki-doki… but it happened suddenly. and it hurt! but it was exciting.

つ：[hot air in tsukasa's eyeballs directly]

あ：But listening to you talk actually has been making my chest hurt

つ：uh-huh. [just like can't. … just like. ok. listneing]

あ：This conversation has been weird

つ：uh-huh. [has seen Amane erect before but has permission to rn which feels insane]

あ：Can words be a part of it? Well… I mean, of course they can be, but… I mean, make new responses.

つ：UhM! [typically is much smarter when offering amane guidance and counsel] aahhhommmm. mmm. …. may-beeeeee [audibly sniffs]

あ：??? Tsukasa You're not listening…

つ：[pupils dart up] AHEHehe!! it's hard to!!! [SQUIIINNT]

あ：Wow..

つ：it's so loud……. [scary] the blood in my body, and in yours

あ：kowai.

つ：so scary.

あ：Loud…? [pauses and tries to think… feels heart pounding. blood is rushing because of that… it's ah, it's not QUIET… hm…] [shuffles legs] I guess it's loud… [silence… is just like. well i'll just say it.] Do I jerkoff.

つ：[JOLTS] AouhH. [oh so loud open mouthed like 4 year old tsukasa] DO YOU WANNA?

あ：[whoa. watching that. but feels emboldened really. nods quickly]

つ：CAN I LOOK?

あ：[ZIIPPPPP]

つ：these fucking aliens

あ：its not normal in here

つ：not at all but it's great

あ：it literally like . If youre horny and im horny lets do it

つ：just going to gorilla grip your shoulders and both ofus standing watch you jerk off like cannot think to do anything differently

あ：no one wouild like to see htis

つ：IT WOULD NOT BE GOOD TO SEE

あ：its too autistic

つ：some scary twin ritual

あ：evil

amane watching himself jerkoff: whoa imk greallyl going to town on it it wasnt like that last time

つ：whoa pretty good rn maybe its better if someone watches

あ：[says that aloud]

つ：hear tsukasa just really inhaling

あ：both of you just staring at cock unbreakingly [mindlessly] You like smelling it?

つ：HAAI. [unbreaking eye contact w cock still.] I LIKE TO SMELL YOUR CLOTHES IF YOU'RE NOT THERE OR IN THE OTHER ROOM [cannot control volume]

あ：creepy

つ：MHM! [know what i am 100%]

あ：but like imagine for once amane kinda being like teasing sounding while dragging you lol… tsukasa… hentai your little monotone idiot sounding like ehhh?

つ：[sinks down a little until forehead touches Amane's chest. just a leetle closer. and mostly as a result of unconsciously crunching and legs bowing]

あ：Youuuu said it was enough to just do stuff for me but there's more isn't there… haha

[puts other hand on your upper back, just rubs idly… mmm brother comfort…….. its nice…] [this here while i jerkoff.. mmm… yeah]

つ：maybe.

あ：At least you can watch now Oh… and now i dont have to wait until youre gone…

つ：can I watch more, times more than this time

あ：Yeah [huffs] annoying to have to wait…

つ：[MANAGES TO CONTROL EVERY SINGLE IMPULSE IN AN INSTANT TO SAY HE WON'T HAVE TO AS HIS BRAIN KNOWS HE CAN USE MAGIC SOMEHOW TO HELP] [instead just nods]

well i hope when he comes it hits tsukasa in the face

あ：a generosity itd definitely just hit your clothes otherwise

つ：tsukasa would, instantly clasp his hands to his face like a psycho and rub it into his skin and then slide palms against tongue it would be. horrible in a way. but he's mindbroken

he's not prepared for resisting anything in this circumstance just sinks to the floor on his knees and does this hunched like a beast

あ：thankfully your brother really isnt normal either. he's like concerned [jenny voice] but its not the right kind of concerned just kind of like. tilts head

つ：watch him like particle desperately lick up everything and seem to bask in it.

あ：its like. ? is tsukasa about to jerkoff? …. watches

つ：sniffing. licking. panting oh how much it doesn't occur to him to jerkoff. just here to worship what you've given him I MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS AGAINNNNNHG

あ：cant act as if thisll ever happen again a real religious moment there amane is like wow. tsukasa must be feeling really good [weiner flopped out still]

つ：such a picture

あ：[kinda like clueless vibe really standing there]

つ：thinking about that finn that is like. from henchman on his knees

あ：oohg

amane kinda blithely like. that was fun umm…. do it more later, yeah.

[looking vaguely at the direction of the kitchen] hungry

つ：tsukasa taking a second to come back to reality. from his feralized state blinks out of sync looks up at amane. bedraggled

あ：[kicks off pants]

つ：omg....

あ：dgaf its just like ew clothes… rn got all sweaty

つ：time for Amane's… patented… feeling like he's being generous to be shitty perhaps cup tsukasa's chin in hand I said. I'm hungry. ❤️ tilt head.

あ：^^ … hurry up!!

つ：for Tsukasa this is like seeing into another universe for a second. cosmic

あ：the white light

つ：

あ：your days are numbered

つ：well, the hurry up would spur him to bolt pant pant HAI hai runs towards kitchen Amane like, AHHh I haven't told you what I waaaaanteddddd lolll.. its like wow… dummy…?

あ：saunters after guy who just nutted is actually atrocious but its nice to feel superior kfghfk like lmao…. and drizzle it with vinegars and applesauce

I honestly enjoy thinking about autist evolving into nasty pervert its a fun venn diagram. starts to be a real, wtf ever, i can just lay back on the couch and kick my feet up on tsukasa and start jerking it

つ：i'm understanding amane's transformation via tsukasa's nature through this AU i know why he be the way he be

あ：but also bc youre a little space alien you encounter every thought very slowly. and its like. after tsukasa's face gets nutted on through proximity multiple times it slike… [announces] I like it. when that happens wait. i wanna do it again

つ：get to the level of hold him in place to do it i think they are both so stupid about advancement in this scenario its more than tsukasa ever fathomed, so. he's just. stare

one of these times he will compulsively catch it in his mouth but like as a PURE, PURE wild impulse, like a. dog with a dropped scrap i like to think amane will be like AHAH?

あ：EHHH?

つ：rrrrrriiiiight you… you lick it. off your face and hands. and stuff. you like it…..?

あ：Mmnnn me jerking off luxuriously and then CHARITABLY prying your mouth open and aiming the tip of my cock towards it

つ：feeling like wow, no middleman…. noo mess soooo convenient

あ：fsr it feels like it could really just be a whole week of just like, variations of coming onto tsukasa's face / into mouth

つ：they're slow going. like its so funny to take a week to invent blowjobs

あ：[justin voice] room to stretch out

つ：and maybe the zenith isn't even, like. really aiming for that as much as one day it dribbles down cock and its like mmmgh wait clean it off but he'll be so freshly came it'll feel like burning stove GRABS TSUKASA BY HAIR AND RIPS COCK OUT OF MOUTH OW?

あ：ssss ahhhh ouhhhhh not my weiner but it's like you'll incubate and be like… wait mouth…. stuff

Almost like, experimentally next time pauses, pulls tsukasas face more directly against it, lines up mouth. wordlessly does this. its really not so confident but its just like hm… sensation…. [hand on cock wiggles it and prods tip against tsukasa's lip repeatedly]

つ：so fascinating for tsukasa to… feel so…. stupid ❤️ it really would be nostalgic staring up at. only moving as directed.

あ：so empty-headed feeling. its really like ahh natsukashii.

(~link to PART 2 down here for convenience~)

#22 #TS #i #+

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