#10/10 fix it (sort of)
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who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me
#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10#not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching#need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh#the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read
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vannayyy
#my art#vanessa fnaf#vanessa sb#vanny fnaf#vanny sb#vanny#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#idk how to tag her sorry#anyway this was rlly experimental. but i think that's obvious#i absolutely could've put more effort into the background but i didnt wannaaaa#regardless.. sketching this was fun! lineart was less fun. i had to force the coloring to be fun by overlaying a funny image on it#editing that frame for the background was sort of fun#overall: it was about a 6.5 out of 10 on the fun scale#and i also just realized i forgot to pattern some of the patches on her suit but mannn i don't wanna fix it
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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Purple sop purple sop purple so
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v the embalmer#identity v ask blog#unconcerned art#i cant believe this is the one that brings me back into the game. just to read the event like ten times. i refuse to play any matches#i wish watso.n could have interacted/ played a much bigger role than. he did#also i was being dumb n misunderstood Stuff so i scribbled down that hes still a bit sus#im gonna ramble about it here cos idk where else to talk about it im going insaneeeee. so spoiler warning for the event#my dumbass thought they were implying that laverne was the lost daughter which didnt make any sense to me#because the tree n the fact the fathers name is laverne doesnt add up#it took me like three reads to realize they were implying that yr was the lost girl. im so dumb. punches myself#the timeline sort of checks out? assuming laverne is 20ish n yr was 10+ when all That went down#the bevil guy was like 62. he had 30 years to Suddenly Change Heart#but also. did the guy just. purposely find laverne n have him be the butler just so he could Do That#it was half a year before his death too. what. what was going on there. if i were the maid i would have flipped my shit too#ok anyway. i still cant fucking believe watso.n didnt show up for like half the investigation. because he was. getting wick#wick. a police dog. that. idk. just ask le.strade???? they really needed an excuse to bring alice in instead of. dr fucking watso.n#i should seriously get around to actually reading sherlock holmes ive decided just cultural osmosis is not enough#on the list of classics i should also read: picture of dorian gray. for. reasons#okay i got all that out im sane again (lie) (laverne i have so many questions for youuuuuuu ughhhhhh)#alao for the record. drawing laverne did fix me. slides off the table
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Hey, it's been a bit since we've heard from you guys! Hopefully things are going much better for you both? I hope so, but Pokemon Masters EX is releasing sygna suits for the twins! Have you guys seen? What do you guys think? If not, I just wanted to let you both know.
Hello!! Sorry for the lack of updates...
We actually decided to take a break from the coding and implementation side of things until Stardew stabilizes. 1.6 has been a bit of a pain and I kept getting discouraged having to go back and fix things because of all the update patches... It was frustrating trying to make progress only to learn that I would have to go back and redo things.
The content in 1.6 is set to release November 4th, but from the beta of 1.6.9, I've heard that there's quite a few mod-breaking changes that I'll need to look into... later. I'm sure there will be more patches once mobile/console players can explore the new content (and report more bugs...). So... mod progress is on an indefinite pause while we wait for the game to be stable (and also get the motivation to work on it back... the thought of having to refamiliarize myself with the modding changes and fixing the broken content kills that a lot.)
In the meantime- we're still very much excited for new submas content!! I love their fancy new outfits... We're especially excited for new stories and dialogue to reference when writing them in more mod content!!
▷ Station Steward Thylak
#mail car connecting line#Still in our burnout era... curse you 1.6#Slight change of plans but the next focus would be to get Emmet's 10 heart event done#After fixing things... I think we have enough content for an unfinished beta of sorts#But well... that requires Stardew to settle down#Chandelure is trans in the mod confirmed (pokemas has Ingo's chandelure as male)#I ALSO HAVE ONLY ONE JOB NOW YAYYY#Work and life is still keeping me busy but I actually have time to do creative stuff again#Kade recently moved out too!! Still needs furniture but well... it works#so many mod authors gave up after 1.6 haha#apparently 1.6.9 is a mess
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My hand is cramping and its nearly midnight (after starting this at 7-ish) BUT I STILL LIKE HOW IT TURNED OUT (after fussing over minor details for the last hour)
#Cheri Art#Marvel comics#Slapstick#OC#Ion Spark#Ion is in her civvie gear ofc and I realize I've not shown her Fucked Up Spine Augment yet#WELL there it is!! It helps with regulating the electric charge in her body#its also a failsafe of sorts for if/when she overloads herself so she doesn't fry her brain and die#the REST of her organs can get damaged from overload but she's also got a healing factor to fix her internals#this isn't helped by her Martyr Complex/Low Self Worth kicking in at any high stakes situation#making her use Big Power Moves to create openings for others to get the job done#hey steve can you keep your partner/housemate/friend/love interest from trying to sacrifice herself for 10 minutes thanks
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Finding Comfort
For the sixth prompt, "Comfort", I'm going to jump ahead a bit - because there's something so tender about this small moment in episode 11.
When Kinn tells Porsche that his mother used to blow dry his hair for him, he isn't just sharing a sweet memory from his childhood; he's revealing that this particular act of kindness - taking care of his hair - has always been a source of comfort to him.
And this is a source of comfort that Porsche has given him many times, acting purely on instinct
What makes this moment even more tender is Porsche's response - he takes Kinn's confession as the plea that it is, and makes it clear that this is something he's all too happy to provide.
#kinnporsche#kpanniversary2024#ep 11#ep 6#ep 8#ep 10#comfort#kinn#porsche#thought about saving this for the ep 11 days#but it really fits this prompt#and it's such a small moment in that ep overall...#I just love that porsche playing with/fixing kinn's hair is so recurring#I'm guessing that's apo's doing#it's a nice character moment for him#how porsche can be so nurturing to the people he loves#and that kinn yearns for this sort of tenderness#when his everyday life is filled with violence#just - them!
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-click image for transparency effect-
Goodnight Splatoon 1's server's and thank you for everything.
I remember seeing the first trailer for Splatoon. At first I wasn't interested at all... a shooter game? Not my style of game play... But then I kept watching and wow... I just got so captivated by what I saw that it was the first game I had ever pre-ordered that wasn't a Pokemon game. I used to do something called the "24 hour challenge" something that no one else but me did because I made it up. I would stay up the full 24 hours for Splatfest for the first handful of Splatfests and play the wholeeeee time. Or at least until my brother wanted to play and I'd take a nap, haha. That stopped once school started up again but those memories of my 24 hour challenges are still ones that I hold close to my heart. My first real Splatoon friend was Nick! We would play the new stages together in recon as soon as they would come out and we were both online. We still talk and I'd still consider him one of my closest friends. Thanks for sticking with me all these years Nick, I appreciate you more than words could ever express. I've made more Splatoon friends over the years and I'm happy to have every single one of you. Here's to the future!
#splatoon#splatoon 1#splatoon 3#splatoon art#my art#artists on tumblr#color#dare#splat dare#friends#nick#arson#captian#splatoon captain 3#captian 3#captin 3#captain 3#3#i remeber songs like “its raining tacos” haveing a 10 hour version and there being comments about how if you listioned to the whole thing#you chould make a wish and have it granted. i used the 24 hour challange to take advantage of that#another song was wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man#the wish sort of came true so i think it was worth it. it hasent come all the way true tho yet so i wont be telling you what i wished for#not takeing any chances haha#paint markers#ive wanted to make this peice for a long time... im really happy with how it turned out :]#i deconstructed my paint markers useing a yogurt lid. isopropanol alcohol. and a paintbrush to get the transparency of my pants#thank you again for the memorys yall. love you <3#anyways- *turns to look at pretendo*#IF YOU SAW THIS POSTED YESTERDAY NO YOU DIDNT. I WENT TO CORRECT IT AND WHEN I SAVED THE POST IT POSTED INSTEED.#i think i fixed it tho-
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Me trying to think up who to draw with Tavros (he deserves better and then some) [I AM NEUTRAL TO THE POINT OF ALMOST NOT CARING WITH TAVROS]
vs me trying to think up a character to draw with Dave [I AM LESS NEUTRAL ON DAVE AS I LIKE/THINK ABOUT HIM ALOT MORE THAN TAVROS]
#midnight brainrot#sort of its almost 7 am#turns out that alarm didn't work and going cold turkey on my plan at 5 am just set my internal clock to that time.#tried to fix it by going to bed at roughly 9-10 via food digestion sleepiness but that just woke me up at 3/4 like it was the morning.#going to try again to sleep of course but I really just gotta suck it up and go a bit overboard on the melatonin gummies.#oh yeah the normal tags lol#art#drawing#paint.net#homestuck#dave strider#tavros nitram#two levels of effort in trying to come up with something. same level of success.
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The problem with big fandoms (using "problem" in a very loose sense here) is that it's really hard to stumble across the weird niche undertagged stuff when its being buried in five million coffee shop/royalty/high school/soulmate aus. If there are 150 works in the tag total you can look through very quickly and find anything that appeals to you. When there are over a million it is much harder to do that.
#im very into a genre of fic i like to think of as#'canon adjacent but we got silly with it'#like crack treated seriously and very specific canon divergences and obscure crossovers#the lore is intact but the plot diverges#or it doesnt even technically diverge its just set pre- or post-canon or focusing on side characters#i want two characters who never met in canon running into each other and getting into shenaningans#i want time travel fix it but only for this one specific guy who doesnt know or care what the protagonists are doing#au where due to some cascading nonsense the plots of season 1 and 10 are happening at the same time#this specific character didnt get killed off and is just sort of around now#au where everything is the same but one of the protagonists is some sort of creature#unfortunately this is a very broad category#and it is impossibly to effectively filter out everything that does not fit the bill while still including everything that does#i can filter out my notps but if im ambivalent towards the juggernaut ship of the fandom that doesnt help much#fanfic
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my hard drive is defective and I was really stressed out for like 20 minutes but the company is able to replace it and try to recover everything and even covering the shipping costs to do it.
#I checked like 3 times about the price but I don't have to pay anything for it#if it was over $150 to repair it i was going to buy a new one#but their chat bot was surprisingly effective#and the live agent was very quick to answer all my questions and set everything up to get it fixed#im not usually one to recommend brands but Seagate hard drive has fantastic customer service#I'll evaluate again once everything gets sorted out (which might take a while since i have to ship it to the states) but so far; fantastic#(versus telus not letting me change my account name after two years of trying to contact them)#(I've talked to so many people and nobody is able to do it)#(i have to call a specific line on the phone to get transferred to the people that might be able to do it)#(no in person locations will do it - they offered to let me use their store phone to call but the entire issue is im hoh and can't do calls)#anyways. seagate so far has wonderful customer service 10/10
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they should've stopped at windows 7 and continued support for all older versions forever
#i got windows 7 running on a vm and the startup noise nearly brought tears to my eyes#i don't even know what i'm gonna do with it i was just feeling nostalgic LOL. i have one for vista too#this is all because my dad found a bunch of my old pc games and i had to rescue them bc he was gonna throw them out#he was sorting through old cds and just had the game disks tossed on the living room floor )^: they don't have cases#i installed windows xp on a vm after failing to get most of the games running on windows 10 because they're from like 98-03#and most of them work that way (^: i made some drawings on kidpix and it fixed me a little bit#but then i was like man i miss vista and 7.. i've been consumed by this for the past 3 days#i also need 95 apparently because one of my games only has that os listed on it (????)#i think that one used to be my cousin's because i was -3 years old in 1995 LOL#anyway.
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#i hate how once you start noticing stereotyping and discriminating language / actions#you cant stop noticing it. and then its everywhere#and you dont know how it could ever be fixed because its so pervasive.#i cant even think of how it could be fixed. what sort of cultural shift would there have to be?#but. weve come so far already surely we can keep going.#originally this was about sexism but so many other examples keep popping into my head.#fatphobia. transphobia. racism. ablism (specifically toward the intellectually disabled). etc.#BUT. i was reading fics from like. 10 years ago and people were jusf slinging around the r-slur#YOU DONT SEE THAT TODAY!!! ISNT THAT AWESOME!!#phwoo im rambling whoops#the work is endless but so is the hope 👍#neither here nor there#letters to emily
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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youtube
And I remember when you used to be mine
#今日の気分は#obligatory song pick for this month#I'm hoping that December this year is a little bit gentler than it has been in the past#(I did NOT immediately start a dissociative episode on the 1st so we're doing better than we were like 5 years ago)#(the sort of wild thing about now being 10+ years out from my PTSD diagnosis is that I can see how it's changed over time)#(and like. yes. it's probably never going to go away. there is no miracle fix waiting in the wings)#(but compared to where I was 10 years ago or even 5 years ago it's SO much more manageable)#music#Sara Bareilles#anyway it's trauma season for anyone just tuning in wwww unfortunately December is my least favorite month so
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INSTAGRAM JUST UP AND DELETED MY SAVED COLLECTIONS. I SPENT LIKE A YEAR SORTING POSTS INTO THOSE COLLECTIONS. IT ALSO MYSTERIOUSLY AND WITHOUT WARNING DELETED A BUNCH OF MY CHATS WITH FRIENDS FROM MY INBOX. I LOST SO MANY IMAGES AND VIDEOS MY FRIENDS SENT ME OVER THE YEARS. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL
#i genuinely do not understand what the hell#why. like what did i even do#i don't post or comment on IG either#I contacted support twice. no damn response#y'all if you know any fixes...let me know pls!#i had sooo much stuff saved and sorted into collections. recipes fashion inspo poetry n writing excerpts. a vision board even#to be clear i still have my saved posts but they're all unsorted now bc IG deleted my collections#now i'll have to scroll 10 miles if i want to find an older saved post#this is wildest thing for a social media app to do to you unprovoked. ALSO completely and utterly out of the blue. like what#i feel personally targeted im not even kidding lmfaooooo#bc best believe i ran to google to look for fixes. and guess what i got. nothing. damn near nothing#and im about to burst out laughing as i type this out bc what the hell man 🤣😭 this shit is so ridiculous its funny#but im also so angry at having my data wiped that i don't know what to do#man 😭 im tired. im going to sleep#i'll wake up and what next? my instagram as a whole gets fuckin deleted lmfaoo#which when you think about it. is a good thing. they'd be doing me a favor#instagram is demonic atp anyway#personal
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