#1 with a broke foot 1 hopefully getting shoulder surgery

[tache-noire]

aew's "pillars" aint lookin so good i think we need new ones

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Code Silver - Life in the ER

This is the continuation of my “Life in the ER” series. This takes place two months after the previous installment. As always, you don’t necessarily have to read the previous installments but it may help clarify any questions you have.

Now take note of this MAJOR WARNING - there is an active shooter situation in this chapter. There will be blood, cussing, needles, surgery and death in this chapter. You have been warned.

I do not own Dr. Leighton. His name was originally used in Code Black, which is one of my favorite medical dramas. I do not own that name. And Dr. Weasley is named after the famous red-headed family in Harry Potter - I don’t own that name either.

As always, feedback would be wonderful and much appreciated. Buckle up kids, this is going to be a doozy of a ride.

June 10, 2021 11:00am

He never wished for a normal day while working in the ER but he wished for one today. Wishing for normal days, usually, meant that the hours in the ER were filled with chaos and craziness and somehow even more casualties than an average shift. He sighed as he thought back on the long night he had. Mack had been up most of the night, and usually Race could get her settled down but he was at his wits end. Spot ended up getting up to help him, making the 5am wake up call a struggle.

“Get it gear, Conlon.” Plums teased as she stood at the nurse’s desk giving a look. “Coffee not kicking in?”

Groaning, he looked up from the keyboard he was staring at a little too intently, nodding to the white cup sitting beside his hand. “This is my fifth cup; if it hasn’t kicked in yet then I don’t think there’s hope. Little miss only wanted me last night.”

“Ahhh those days are fun. Addie is in a Jack phase right now and I’m chopped liver.” Plums grinned. “Hopefully that won’t last long?”

Spot shrugged. “It’s been a week already. It doesn’t help when I’m working the early shift. She loves to party between 2 and 4.”

“Ugh do not miss those days. Addie is finally sleeping all the way through the night. She gets up at 5:30, just as I’m walking out the door though.” She smiled as Albert slid into a chair. “You okay, Al?”

He grinned. “Yea, patient in room four needs a checkup at some point. What’d I missed?”

“Noted - thanks. Spot’s kid throwing a rager from 2-4am.” Plums pointed out.

Albert chuckled loudly. “Ahh that sounds like fun.”

“Don’t laugh - this’ll be you this time next year.” Spot pointed his index finger in Albert’s direction. Finch and Albert had announced their little bundles of joy would be arriving around the beginning of December.

The grin slid from his face as Spot’s words made him pause. “Shit. I guess I will be taking notes from you both before that time.”

A call came over the intercom as Plums grabbed a chart before heading down the hallway. “Duty calls. Meet you guys in the cafe around 1 for lunch?”

“See you then.” Spot saluted her as he finished typing up his notes, looking over his shoulder at Albert who was writing in his own chart. “You doing good?”

A smirk crossed Albert’s face. “Doing well. Finch mentioned that we should have you and Race and Jack and Kat over for a cookout.”

“That’ll be fun.” Spot sighed, typing something in the chat he was having with another doctor, groaning as he stood up. “I’ve got to go draw another vial of blood. Don’t miss me too much.”

Albert blew him a kiss as he watched him walk away with a shake of his head. “Don’t worry, pooks, I won’t.”

Spot quickly drew the vial of blood from his patient in bay 12 before walking it upstairs to deliver Elmer. “Got some fresh, still warm blood for you. Orders should be in your inbox.”

“How’s the world of emergency today? Quiet?” Elmer accepted the vial before typing a few keys on his keyboard, giving Spot a quick smile.

Spot sighed, leaning against the wall, trying to stretch his back. “It’s quiet but two ambulances were pulling up just as I escaped up here. Is it 6pm yet?”

“Sorry, you still have 6.5 hours to go.” Elmer was way too cheerful as he delivered that news to Spot, who merely groaned.

The hospital phone that was attached to his hip dinged with a message that made him smile. “Hey if you haven’t eaten by 1, we’re planning on eating in the cafe. Come by.”

“I’ll see if I can get away. These results will be in your patient’s chart by the time you get back downstairs.” Elmer grinned.

Saluting him, Spot grinned. “Thanks, Elm. You’re the best.”

Whistling along to a song that was stuck in his head, he headed back downstairs, via the stairs. He hopped down the stairs as he thought about everything that he needed to do before his shift ended. Just as his foot hit the bottom stair, the intercom blared to life with a “Code Silver” followed by the Emergency Department as the location. Words you never wanted to hear in a hospital. A shiver ran down his back as his brain processed the words. Gripping the handle of the staircase he faltered in his step. Active shooter.

Throwing open the heavy stairwell door, he found himself in a surprisingly empty hallway. His shoes squeaked softly as he made his way to an empty patient room, quickly darting behind the door for protection. Grabbing the blue hospital issued phone, he opened it, silencing the volume. He sent a message both to Plums and Albert asking them where they were.

As he waited, all he could hear was someone yelling and the blood rushing through his ears. The phone vibrated in his hand as he quickly brought it up to eye level. From Plums: Patient’s room, door locked, everyone okay. You?

Ignoring her message for now, he started making his way back towards the center of the Emergency Room. In the back of his mind, he knew he should get out while he could but not while his sister-in-law and best friend were in the middle of danger.

“Where the hell is Nicole Ridder?” A loud voice raged, catching his attention as he slid under a desk. “Where is she?”

A gunshot went off as several more screams pierced the air as a hand slammed on a desk. “Where is she?”

Looking around the corner, Spot’s eyes went wide, as he took in the scene. Albert was under the desk, the very desk the man was loudly banging his fist on. Sadie, a nurse that Spot didn’t know too well, was staring down the man. “Sir, there is no Nicole Ridder here. I just checked our in-patients and there’s no one here by that name.”

“She texted me and said she’s here and now you won’t fucking let me see her.” The man screamed as another gunshot exploded, breaking the silent air. All Spot could do was watch Sadie crumble as the bullet hit her.

The man hit his hand once more before taking several steps, waving the gun in front of several other nurses, the air returning quiet. “Nicole, where are you?”

The man neared Spot’s position, as he tried to make himself smaller. “NICOLE!”

His shouts became more desperate as he started pushing open closed doors. Spot tried to regulate his breath as the man’s footsteps came closer.

He stopped at the desk that Spot was sitting under, his hand pounding the top. His voice was gruff as he cocked the trigger of the gun. “I know there are more people here - just tell me where in the hell Nicole is and I won’t shoot up the place.”

A cry broke the silence, as both Spot and the man looked towards a closed door. Within seconds the man was standing in front of the door, the butt of the gun banging against the solid wood door.

His hand tightened around the door handle, jiggling it to open it but found it locked. “NICOLE, OPEN THIS DOOR! I know you’re in there.”

A noise behind Spot made him look. Albert and a few other nurses made a break for it, running for a door that would lead them outside. Spot felt a rush of air escape his mouth. Albert was safe. But he feared for Plums’ safety.

Plums’ POV

The jiggling of the door handle sent a shiver down her back. She was currently hiding behind the bed, with her patient and her patient’s child, trying to keep them both safe. Putting a finger to her mouth, she locked eyes with the two.

She had been about to discharge Josie, who had strep throat, when the Code Silver had come over the intercom. Immediately she had shut the door, locked it and put the chair under the handle, blocking them in the small room.

“NICOLE, OPEN THIS DOOR! Goddammit I know you’re in there.” The jiggling continued as tears crowded her eyes. She attempted to calm her breathing.

Grabbing the blue phone, she quickly typed something in and sent it to both Albert and Spot, hoping the two of them got out before this madness began.

“NICOLE DAMMIT OPEN THIS DOOR.” The man’s voice pleaded as his fists hit the door, each bang louder than the previous.

She slipped her hand into the little girl’s, giving it a squeeze, as she prayed that the ordeal would end soon.

Spot’s POV

He felt the phone vibrate in his hand as he opened the message.

I’m in the room with her and her daughter.

The gasp escaped his mouth before he could help it but the pounding on the door told him the gunman hadn’t heard. He wished he had his personal cell on him but the hospital frowned upon that. He just wanted to get a message to Race.

His thoughts stopped for a minute. Race. His husband who was out on summer break, at home with their daughter. Or maybe he and Jack took the girls out for lunch and were at least together. Leaning his head back, he stretched his neck muscles, praying that he’d get to see his daughter and husband at least one more time.

Taking a steady breath, Spot’s mind started turning. He needed to get that gunman away from that door if Plums had a chance to get away.

Opening up the phone, he quickly typed out a message to Plums Right outside the door under the desk.

His butt was falling asleep as he sat scrunched up under the desk. He slowly adjusted himself, cussing when his shoe squeaked. Spot cussed under his breath as the pounding on the door came to a standstill. “Who’s there?”

Eyes wide, Spot bit his lip in an attempt to stay quiet. “Show yourself or I will put a bullet through this door. This isn’t a game.”

Another gunshot sounded as screams pierced the air. Several more gunshots were fired in quick succession as the man growled under his breath. “Damnit, Nicole, get your skinny ass out here now. Quit playing these damn games.”

Another several gunshots were fired through the door, wood splintering as the bullet made contact. Several screams pierced the quietness, one of which was most definitely Plums.

Spot could hear the man pacing in front of the door, as his shoes squeaked with each pass. Every few seconds, the butt of the gun would knock against the door. Spot could hear him growl, growing frustrated by the situation at hand. “You leave me no choice, Nicole.”

Before he could take another breath, the gun was fired in quick rounds, several bullets hitting the wooden door as screams erupted from the small room. Spot eased out from his position, looking at the man as he screamed and unloaded his gun into the small room.

He heard the familiar click of the gun, signaling that it was out of ammunition. Spot took that moment to stand and look at the man. He moved stealthily, as he made his way to the man. Before he could think, he punched the man, successfully crumbling him to the ground. The gun went sliding down the hallway as Spot punched the man a few times. “Plums, get them the hell outta here.”

The man attempted to hit Spot back but was unsuccessful and several seconds later, the police came in, slapping handcuffs on the man before helping Spot up.

Spot stood, chest heaving as his brain caught up on what had just happened. He faltered in his step just as a police man caught him. “Sir, you okay?”

“Dizzy.” He mumbled just as he collapsed and fell to the ground.

Plums’ POV

Holding up her hands, she hurled herself over to the police and told them to get the hell in there, that the gunman had been subdued.

Without another word, she watched several police officers make their way into the building as she was led to a makeshift medical area. She was led to a stretcher where her vitals were checked and she was given a check over. She had some cuts from glass and bruises but nothing life threatening. The mental reminders would take some time to overcome. Albert wrapped a warm blanket around her shoulders as she sat on the bed. “It was Spot.”

Albert’s hands stilled as he took her blood pressure. “Spot what?”

“Spot subdued the gunman by hitting him and knocking him out.” Plums whispered as she looked at Albert.

Albert dropped the stethoscope, before pulling her into a hug, as she lost it. The tears, fears, relief all came bubbling to the surface. He hushed her, brushing his hand up and down her back as he attempted to calm her down. “Hey it’ll be okay. Jack, Race, and Finch are all outside and as soon as you’re done, I’ll bring them all back, okay?”

She nodded, her breath coming out in gasps, as he took her blood pressure. He did a few other checks, she figured for bullets or any other damages before jotting down something on the piece of paper at the makeshift table. “Do you want me to stay or go get them?”

“Can you stay and have someone get them? Also, where’s Spot?” She asked, eyes wide with the fear still radiating through her body. She knew the adrenaline would be cursing through her body for some time yet.

Albert nodded, stepping out for a moment before coming back in. “Maddie is going to get Jack, Race, and Finch and she’s checking on Spot.”

“Albie?” She asked, clutching the blanket tighter around her.

“Yea Plums?” He asked, scribbling something on a chart in front of him. He looked up, looking at one of his family members, trying to keep it all together.

She sniffled, looking at the cut on her hand. “Was anyone killed?”

He stilled with the question, dropping the pen before walking over to wrap her in a hug as she broke down crying. “Shhh.” He whispered as he ran a hand up and down her back.

Tears clouded his eyes as he listened to her heartbreaking sobs. Soon they turned to snuffs as she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. “Sorry.”

“No, Kat, you have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “You’re safe and your body is trying to regulate itself. It’s okay. But to answer your question, I haven’t heard anything about anyone. Once I got out, they checked me out and said they needed help with injuries so I’ve been doing this. I was just relieved to see you run out.”

Looking up, she gasped seeing Jack, Race, and Finch all standing there. Before she could do anything, Jack was pulling her into a hug as she busted into another round of tears. Jack was mumbling stuff in her ear and running his hand through her hair as she immediately felt safe in Jack’s arms. Leaning back, she pressed a kiss to his lips. “Love you too.”

Stepping away from Jack, she pulled Race into her arms as he sniffled. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Where’s Spot?”

“He was the one who subdued the gunman. He’s probably talking to the police.” She mumbled, watching Race’s face crumble.

She watched many emotions cover Race’s face as he faltered. “He did what?”

“I don’t know how but he knocked the gunman out and told me to get out of there.” She looked at him. “He’s a hero, Race.”

Tears clouded Race’s face as she pulled him back into a hug. “He was fine when I was running out of there so I’m sure he’s talking to the police.”

She soothed him, by rubbing a hand up and down his back. She watched Jack talk to Albert and Finch. “Where are our girls?”

“Medda has them.” Race pulled back, wiping his eyes. “Jack and I were hanging out at your house when she stopped by. When this came across the news, Jack said we needed to get down here. We held our breaths every time the door opened. We got here just after Albert came running out.”

Nodding, she sat back on the bed, wrapping the blanket around her. She looked over at Finch, whose fingers were laced with Albert’s. “Hi Finch.”

“Hi Kat. Glad you’re okay.” He smiled, squeezing Albert’s hand.

Nodding, she looked at the men in the room, sighing. “Hey Al, can you go check with Maddie?”

He nodded, leaning over to kiss Finch before escaping out of the medical area.

Sighing, she kicked her legs, antsy with wanting to know what was keeping Spot. She figured the police would want to talk with him but he should be done by now. She felt Jack stand behind her with his hand on her shoulder. She knew it would be a long time before he would be able to have her out of his sight.

Albert’s face was stoic as he returned with a police officer. “Plums, this is Office Ramirez. He’d like to talk to us for a few minutes.”

“Katherine Kelly, sir. This is my husband Jack and our friends, Tony, Albert, and Patrick. Tony is Sean’s husband. Can you tell us what’s going on with Sean Conlon?” Plums sat up straight, trying to look more authoritative than she felt. Her heart plummeted into her stomach as he was introduced. Usually having a police office come talk to them was never a good thing.

Officer Ramirez shifted, pulling his hat off before looking at the same group of friends. “I was first through the doors when I saw Sean on the floor punching the gunman. Several officers took care of the gunman while I went over to Sean. I got him to his feet when he mumbled that he was dizzy and before I knew it, he had fainted.”

“Doctor White was in the vicinity and immediately started checking Sean. In the initial check, he had blood on the left side of his scrubs. Several nurses and Dr White loaded him onto a gurney and rushed him upstairs to surgery.” Officer Ramirez’s face was grime as he relayed the information. Race gasped, processing the information. “If you’d like, I will escort you up to the surgery floor where you can wait?”

Kat sat back as the words hit her. She looked over at Race, who staggered a bit, only for Albert’s arm to wrap around his waist. “That would be great. But I have one other question - was anyone killed today?”

The officer paused. He was conflicted on how much he should actually tell them. “There were two nurses and an orderly that were killed. There were several that were injured by the stray bullets.”

Tears crowded Kat’s eyes as she thought about her coworkers and their families. Hanging her head, she let a sob out as someone put their arms around her. She looked up at Race whose face was tight with a mix of emotions as he hugged her. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked at Officer Ramirez. “I’ll need a few minutes to talk with some of my colleagues but after that, can you escort us upstairs?”

“Absolutely ma’am. There will be a police officer outside the waiting room just for some extra protection. And we will need to speak with you and Mr. DaSilva at some point.” The office said, as Kat nodded.

She pushed the blanket off of her before she looked at Jack. Leaning up, she gave him a quick kiss and hugged Race before walking out into the still mayhem scene.

Maddie came up and gave her a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay. Any word on Spot?”

“He’s in surgery but that’s all I know. We’re going to head up to the surgical waiting room. Can you let the head honchos know?” Plums asked, giving the young nurse a look, as she looked around the mayhem of police officers, nurses, and patients.

Maddie quickly nodded. “I can do that. Do you want me to have food sent up?”

“Thanks, that would be nice since all of us just want a status update.” She smiled at Maddie.

“Consider it done. Just let us know when he’s out and doing okay?” She asked, as Plums quickly agreed before going back to the medical area.

Making sure they had everything, Kat gave Officer Ramirez a look as he led them through the eerie empty halls of the Emergency Room to the elevators. Katherine moved quickly, not wanting to be reminded of what had happened there just a short while ago. The group was silent as they got on the elevators, watching the numbers slowly rise up to level 8, the surgical floor.

Several police officers were already waiting outside of the waiting room as they stepped off the elevator. Kat led the group into the room, where a couple of styrofoam containers were on a table along with two sets of scrubs. “If you need anything, my officers will be outside. When you’re ready to talk to us, just let us know.”

“Thank you for everything. Let us get changed and get some food, then at least I’ll be ready to talk.” Kat told him before she looked at Albert, who nodded.

Officer Ramirez gave her a slight smile before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

She watched Albert and Finch walk over to the food as Jack and Race hovered near her. She smiled weakly at them both before picking up a pair of scrubs and walking over to the bathroom to change. Not wanting to see the scrubs she had on ever again, she threw them into the trash before joining the men in the waiting room. As the door closed behind her, she pulled her hair down, wanting her hair to be done, instead of up in a ponytail like it normally was when she was on shift.

Jack and Race had styrofoam containers balanced on their knees as they ate. Finch and Albert were throwing theirs away.

“There’s a sandwich and mac and cheese there for you.” Jack motioned over to the table as he continued to eat.

Nodding, she sat at the table, immediately opening the mac and cheese container and eagerly eating the cheesy goodness. “Any word?”

Shakes of heads were her answer as she sighed and banged her head against the wall. She knew she should go downstairs to get hers and Spot’s stuff but she just didn’t have the energy.

Her eyes darted around the room. Apart from the eerie quietness, the people in the room were okay. She just wished she could find out what was up with Spottie and why it was taking so long. Her brain kicked into medical mode and she wondered how serious Spot’s injuries really were.

“Kat?” Jack broke her train of thoughts by softly calling her name. She raised an eyebrow at him. “The police are ready to talk to you if you are.”

Nodding, she quickly threw away her trash, grabbing a water bottle before she walked out of the room, ready to be done with the day.

Jack looked at Race who was twiddling with his hands, looking absolutely lost. “Race?”

“Yea Jack?” He asked, looking up from playing with his wedding band.

“I know it’s a stupid question but you doing okay? Do you need anything?” He asked.

Race shrugged, sighing. “I just want to lay eyes on him and make sure he’s okay. My mind keeps playing the what if game and it won’t stop until I can see him.”

“Do you want me to have momma bring up the girls?” Jack asked, knowing Kat would want to see Addie sooner rather than later.

Race was torn. On the one hand, it would be good to hold Mack until he knew about Spot; on the other, the little girl would want to explore the unfamiliar place and Race didn’t know if he could be patient with her as his nerves were already frayed. “As much as I would love to say yes, she’s better off with momma at the house.”

Jack nodded. “Do you want to play cards?”

Race loved his brother but he could slug him at the moment. He understood what Jack was trying to do but he just wanted to know how the hell Spot was doing. “No Jack. I’m fine. Just anxious to hear how Spot’s doing.”

Silence fell over the room as Race began to day dream. He thought back to earlier that morning. Did he even say he loved Spot as he said goodbye to him? Did he say have a good day or that he’d text him later? Race let his head fall backwards as it collided with the wall. Tears crowded his eyes at the lack of updates and knowledge of what the hell was going on.

Race wasn’t going to lie. It was painful to see Jack and Kat along with Albert and Finch reunite as he sat there awaiting the news of his husband. Race just prayed to whoever that Spot was okay and he would be back by his side soon.

His eyes met the clock on the wall. 1:35. Just over two hours since he heard the news about an active shooter at the hospital and his heart damn near stopped.

Pulling out his phone, he noticed there was a 40 in the top corner of his messages. People had been contacting him to find out if Spot was working and if he was okay. Race just didn’t have the heart to reply to any of them. The only one he opened was from momma as she had sent a photo of Kenzie sleeping. He smiled slightly before locking his phone and putting it back in his pocket.

The opening of the door caught his attention as a nurse slipped through. “I’m Maeve. Is this the family of Sean Conlon?”

Nodding, Race looked at the young nurse with a pleading look. “I’m his husband. Is he out of surgery?”

“I was in the operating room. The doctor is just finishing up surgery and will be in shortly.” Maeve tight lipped smiled at them.

Race cleared his throat. “Is he okay?”

“I’m sorry but the doctor will be out shortly.” She apologized as she slipped out of the room.

Jack stood, stretching his back. “I’ll go let Kat know. Anyone need anything?”

Everyone shook their heads, watching him leave the room. Race tapped his feet, a renewed energy knowing that soon he’d have some answers and maybe he could see Spot sooner rather than later.

Kat joined Jack as they came back into the room. Before she took a seat, she held something out to Race. “I had the police collect his belongings from downstairs. He has quite a lot of missed calls and texts.”

Race accepted the phone and Spot’s canvas bag with a nod. He didn’t go through it, and merely pocketed the phone. “How was your talk with the police?”

“Okay. They just wanted to make sure they had all their ducks in a row. They’re going to want to talk to Spot and you, Albert.” She directed her last words to him as he nodded, fingers laced with Finch’s.

“It might be a few days before Spot’s up for it.” Race gave his sister-in-law a look.

She quickly nodded, looking at him. “The police are well aware of that fact. His doctors will have to clear it before he is able to do so. Plus he’ll have us by his side when he does talk to them.”

The door opened once more as they all looked up. “Doctor Leighton.”

“Katherine, I’m glad you’re doing okay.” He gave her a side hug as he turned to the other four. “I’m Doctor Leighton, I did Spot’s surgery.”

“This is Tony, Sean’s husband. My husband Jack. You know Albert and his husband Finch.” Kat made the introductions. “How’s Spot?”

Doctor Leighton nodded at all of them before taking a seat. “Spot’s okay. He’s in recovery at the moment. It was tough and go for a while. He had a bullet hit him on his left side. We ended up having to remove his spleen but he lost a lot of blood. We’re currently giving him blood transfusions to try to replenish what was lost.”

“Will he make a full recovery? Can he live without his spleen?” Race asked, looking between Kat and the doctor.

The doctor nodded his head. “Yes, he will make a full recovery and at this point, we don’t see any cause of concern. We’re waiting for him to wake up. And yes, he will be fine to live without his spleen.”

“What are your concerns for him in the next 48 hours?” Kat asked, as Race was glad she asked because he didn’t know what else to ask.

Dr. Leighton sighed. “You know the concerns, Katherine. Since the spleen is so instrumental in fighting infections, I’m a bit more concerned with him catching infections going forward. He will need to make sure he’s up to date on all of his vaccines after he’s discharged.”

“So I should be more concerned when he comes down with a cold?” Race piped up as the doctor nodded.

Kat nodded. “Yes, especially in the next year as his immune system adjusts.”

“When can we see him?” Race asked, his toes tapping anxiously, just wanting to lay eyes on his husband.

Dr. Leighton looked at Race, smiling softly. “Give us about 20 minutes to get him moved to a room then you can see him.”

“Thank you Dr. Leighton.” Kat stood, shaking his hand as the rest of them did the same. He gave them a tight smile before he left them alone.

“Well he was helpful.” Race choked out as Jack Finch, and Albert both snorted.

Kat shook her head. “He’s a brilliant surgeon but he’s got little bedside manner. I’d request him in a heartbeat, a thousand times over some of the surgeons in this hospital.”

Race nodded, trusting her 1000% with anything medical related. Standing up, he started pacing, just wanting the time to go by fast so he could see Spot. “Race?”

He stopped, looking at Kat who softly called his name. “Do you need anything?”

“Just to see my damn husband.” Race sighed. “Sorry but I can’t think of anything else until I lay eyes on him.”

Kat nodded, as she couldn’t imagine if that was Jack in surgery and wanting to see him to make sure he was okay. “You heard Dr. Leighton, Race. He’s okay but I understand your frustration. Do you want us to hang back when you first see him?”

“Do you mind?” Race asked, his voice small, not wanting to give away how scared he truly was.

She stood, pulling him into a hug, running her hand up and down his back. “Of course not. You should be the first to see him. We’ll hang around while you go to visit him. Al still needs to talk to the police so he can do that while you go see him.”

The door opened and the nurse from earlier stood there. “We’ve got him settled into his room. We still have him sedated but you can go ahead and see him.”

Kat nudged Race. “Go see our boy and give him our love. We’ll hang back and see him later, alright?”

Nodding, Race hesitantly stepped forward as he followed the nurse down the hall to a room in the corner. “I’ll be right at the nurse’s desk in case you need anything.”

She propped open the door as he silently walked inside. There were two IVs, one going in each hand, one fluid of clear liquid, the other full of blood. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking at the step up, two chairs, one on each side of the bed, along with a table and two chairs off in the corner. Stepping around the bed, he sat in one of the chairs, and being careful of the IV, lacing his hand with Spot’s.

“Hey Spot.” He whispered, torn between waking him up and letting him sleep. Race had always loved watching his husband sleep, due to the fact when he was awake, he was never still. Spot was always moving around, unable to really settle unless he was sick or sleepy. “I heard through the grapevine that you’re some kind of hero. You saved a lot of people today, Spottie.”

Time, Spot only needed time. Time to heal, time to recover, time to wake up. “I know you want to sleep but I really want to see your pretty brown eyes. It’s been a pretty rough afternoon and I need to tell you I love you, because I’m not sure I actually said it this morning.”

“I’m not leaving, Spot. Wild horses couldn’t pull me away.” Race promised, squeezing his hand. “Kat, Jack, Albert, and Finch are out in the waiting room. Momma is at the house with Mack and Addie. As soon as you wake up, I’ll get her to bring the two of them up to see you.”

He continued to ramble about random things, always being told that patients could hear when they were unconscious. He didn’t want Spot to be alone and promised to fill the quiet room with his cheerful chatter.

Race held his breath, knowing that Spot would wake up with time but he wasn’t the most patient person. Squeezing his hand, he felt himself relaxing in the chair for the first time since arriving at the hospital. Race kicked his feet up onto the bed and let his head fall back to the back of the chair, listening to the constant beeping from the monitor, his eyes closing as he dozed off.

Kat’s POV

She watched Race leave the room, wanting to join him as he saw Spot but knowing Race needed some time to adjust to having Spot in the hospital bed. Standing up, she felt antsy from waiting so she paced the room as she answered texts from family and friends concerned about her.

“Kat?” Looking up from her phone, she looked over at Jack who had concern written all over his face. “You okay?”

She sighed, walking over to him and sitting beside him. “Just antsy. I’m glad Race gets to go see him but I want to check up on him as well.”

Pressing a kiss to her head, Jack nodded. “I know. Despite our rough start, Spot is like a brother to me and it’s hard when we don’t know what the next few days or even weeks will look like. But we have to go along with the doctor who seems optimistic that he’ll be alright in the long run.”

Kat reached over and laced her fingers with Jack’s. “We’ll see him soon. Let’s give Race some time with him.”

She looked at Finch and Albert and smiled sadly at them. “You two doing okay?”

“Just hanging out until we can see him.” Albert looked as worried as she felt. “You two hanging out for the night?”

Jack shrugged, giving them a look. “Depends on what Race wants us to do. We’re kinda letting him dictate what we’re doing. I just checked in with momma and she said the girls are down for their afternoon naps.”

She didn’t get a chance to answer as the door opened slowly as an older man poked his head in. Standing up, she weakly smiled at him as surprise was evident in her voice. “Dr. Weasley.”

“Katherine, they told me you were up here. I just wanted to check in with you, Spot, and Albert to see how you were doing.” He said as she nodded.

Motioning for him to come in, she sighed. “Spot had emergency surgery and he’s in a room down the hall. This is my husband Jack and Albert’s husband, Finch. Guys, this the director of the ER, Dr. Weasley. We’ve just been hanging out here waiting to see Spot after his surgery.”

Dr. Weasley nodded. “I heard that he had to have his spleen removed - he’s a tough nut and will be okay. I’ve come to tell you that you and Albert have the next week off. There will be a check-in before you’re allowed back into the hospital, per guidelines. As for Spot, we’ll take it day by day with him and when he’s cleared to return.”

“Is there anything we need to do in the meantime?” Albert came by Kat’s side as he was curious what the requirement was going to consist of.

Dr. Weasley smiled at them. “You’ll both need to see one of the hospital’s trauma specialists before you’re released to come back. You will also need to take the mandatory 5 days off before you step back in here.”

“How long will the ER be shut down for?” Kat asked, knowing it was only one of three emergency rooms within the city.

Dr. Weasley shook his head. “It’s going to be shut down for tonight but obviously the hospital doesn’t want it down for too long. They’re hoping to have it back up and running tomorrow morning.”

Frowning, Kat shook her head. “It doesn’t seem right. There were people killed in that ER earlier today and tomorrow it’s back to business like their lives don’t even matter.”

“I agree with you Plums but you know how the head honchos are.” Dr. Weasley agreed as he shook his head.

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. “It’s just not right. But I make pennies compared to them and I know nothing.”

“Keep up that attitude Plums and you’ll be alright.” He smiled, looking between her and Albert. “Do either of you need anything?”

Albert shook his head with a smirk. “Million bucks, new scrubs, better hospital food?”

“Noted but not sure what I can pull out of my magic hat.” Dr. Weasley looked between the two of them with a shake of his head. “You have my number if you need anything. I’m glad you two are okay.”

Watching him leave, Kat shook her head as the door shut gently behind him. “That was nice of him to check up on us.”

“You know it was because we’re not down at the ER with the rest of the staff.” Albert told her with sarcasm laced in his voice. “He knew it would’ve gotten around the ER if he didn’t come check up on us and Spot.”

Kat nodded. “True. I’m going to check up on Race. You guys staying here?”

Albert agreed while Finch and Jack stayed behind, letting the two of them go. Her shoes squeaked as she walked down the hallway. Pushing open the door, her shoulders immediately relaxed as she took in Spot’s appearance in the bed. A noise drew her attention away from Spot and to the chair beside him where Race was snoring away.

Stepping up to the bed, she looked Spot over as his quiet breathes matched Race’s deep snores. Albert shook his head as he reached up to wipe his eyes before taking Katherine’s hand and squeezing it. “He looks better than I thought he would.”

“What did you imagine?” Kat asked, looking over at him with a smirk.

Albert shrugged. “Bruises, black eyed, ruggedness. You know, someone who just got into a fight but he actually just looks normal.”

“Excuse you, I’m ruggedly handsome.” A voice drew their attention from each other to the bed. A smirk was on Spot’s face as he looked at two friends.

Kat’s eyes immediately watered with tears as she looked at him. “Spot.”

“I’m sore . . . what happened?” He asked as he tried to move but felt instant pain.

Albert stepped up, giving him a look. “You had surgery. They removed your spleen due to a bullet. You fainted in the ER just after the police came to take the gunman away. Race was really worried about you and had been in here for about 20 minutes before he must’ve fallen asleep.”

“Is that what that train sound is?” Spot asked, craning his head to look over to Race, who quietly snored away.

“Yes. He’s been worried sick about you.” Kat smiled. “Do you want me to wake him up?”

Spot shook his head. “Nah, let him sleep. Who’s got Kenzie?”

“Momma’s got her and Addie. Last we knew, they were taking their afternoon naps. Jack, Race, and Finch have been here most of the afternoon. They watched Albert run out.” Kat explained.

Spot nodded, as he bit his lip as a wave of pain coursed through his side. “Anyone killed?”

“Two nurses and an orderly.” Kat frowned. “But thanks to you, no one else was killed. There’s a few injuries but you saved a lot of people, Spot, including Nicole and her daughter.”

Spot shook his head. “I about died when you texted me that you were in the room with them. I knew I had to draw him away from the door in order for you to escape.”

“I’m thankful that you did but I almost passed out when I saw you slugging him.” Kat shook her head. “You’re an idiot Sean but I do love you.”

“Love you too Kat.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Do you want to go get Jack and Finch? I don’t know how much longer I’ll be awake.”

Albert rushed from the room, leaving Kat and Spot alone with the sleeping Race. “He doing okay?”

“Worried about you but he’s been alright.” She smiled. “He has your phone but hasn’t done anything with it. I got your stuff from downstairs.”

Spot nodded. “Thank you, Kat for everything. Any idea how long I’m in here for?”

“Dr. Leighton didn’t say but I’m sure he’ll be around to see you later.” Kat shrugged. “I’m guessing in a few days you'll be released. Albert and I are on mandatory leave for the next week and we have to see one of the trauma specialists before we’re allowed back in the ER.”

Spot didn’t say anything as the door was opened as Jack and Finch stepped into the room with Albert behind them. Kat stepped back, letting the two talk with him. Albert came over and wrapped his arm around her. “Counting your blessings?”

“Something like that.” She smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. “Just really glad my family is okay. Really glad my closest coworkers are alright. Sad that we lost some good people but happy that everyone else is okay.”

Albert shook his head. “Love you Kat.”

“Love you too Albie.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Are you and Finch heading home?”

Nodding, Albert sighed. “I just want to go home and put today out of my mind. I have a feeling we’re in for a few rough days.”

“Agreed. We’ll be around if you need someone to talk to.” She smiled. “I’m only a phone call away, okay?”

He nodded, a ragged sigh left his mouth. He watched Jack and Finch joke with Spot as he started to doze off. Once he was asleep, Finch and Albert made their way out, leaving Kat and Jack with Race and Spot.

“What do you want to do? I’m sure you could use a shower and some Addie cuddles.” Jack suggested as he looked between the two sleeping men in the room.

Kat stretched, a groan escaping her mouth. “You’re probably right but I just don’t feel right just walking away after everything we’ve been through this afternoon.”

“Kat, you’re not walking away.” Jack gave her a look. “How about I take you home, you can shower, cuddle Addie, then we can come back up here and bring them food? Does that sound like a plan?”

Nodding, she pushed off the way, pressing a kiss to both Spot and Race’s foreheads before walking out of the room, hand laced with Jack’s.

An Hour Later

The rustling of bedsheets was the sound he heard as he slowly woke up. Cracking open his eyes, it took a minute to figure out where he was. The hospital, active shooter, Spot surgery all came rushing back to him.

Sitting up in the uncomfortable chair, he cracked his back as he looked at the bed. The most beautiful sight he had seen was staring back at him. Spot, with a smirk on his face, and eyes opened as he stared at Race. “Hi.”

“After all this time and scaring the literal shit out of me, all you can say is hi.” Race was out of the chair and sitting on the side of the bed smirking. “Hi yourself. How are you feeling?”

Spot grimaced. “Sore, really sore. But other than that, okay. Kat and Albie filled me in on everything that had happened when they were here earlier.”

“You were awake and they didn’t wake me up?” Race frowned, giving Spot a look.

Squeezing their linked hands, Spot looked Race in the eyes. “I asked them not to as you were in a deep sleep. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you but I needed to know what had happened.”

“You doing okay, Spottie?” Race asked, worry in his voice.

Spot sighed loudly. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel. I’m angry that someone interrupted the safe space the ER was. I’m upset that I lost coworkers. But I think I’m mostly grateful that Albie and Kat are both okay and safe.”

Leaning forward, Race captured Spot’s lips in a kiss. “I love you and it’s completely okay that you’re not okay. There were a lot of emotions involved in today but I’ll be here for you as we go through the next couple of days, weeks, and months. Kat and Al aren’t going anywhere and they’ll be here for you, when I can’t.”

“Love you, Racer.” Spot smiled slightly. “Also, you did tell me that earlier this morning before I left the house.”

A light blush raised on Race’s cheeks. “You heard me?”

“Yeah . . . but it was a big foggy so I couldn’t actually tell if you said that or if it was my mind playing tricks on me.” Squeezing his hand, Spot sighed. “I kept kicking myself that I didn’t have my phone on me. I only wanted to get you a message that I was okay and that I loved you. I’m just glad I have the opportunity to tell you that now.”

“Love you Spottie.”

“Love you too Racer.”

Later that Evening

He found himself sitting up in bed, a course of antibiotics and pain medication surging through his body. He was happily slurping on a strawberry milkshake while Race was cracking jokes with Jack. Kat was watching her husband and Race with an amused smile on her face. A few of their coworkers had stopped by to check up on them both, not staying long but to say their thanks to Spot for being a hero.

“You okay, Plums?” He asked over the crackle of Race’s laughter at something Jack had just told him.

Looking up from her fast food chicken nuggets, she smiled. “I’m fine. I got to cuddle Addie and Kenzie, take a shower, and pet Basil for a little bit. I had a good cry in the shower.”

“Promise me, you’ll text if you need anything?” Spot gave her a look, knowing full well that she was just as likely as him to keep things bottled up.

Nodding, she smiled. “Of course. I’ve been made to promise by Jack, Albert, Race, and now you. I scheduled my appointment for the trauma specialist for next week.”

“Good. I’m proud of you for scheduling it out already.” Spot said, giving her a look that he knew what she was thinking.

She couldn’t say another word as there was a knock on the door. Kat raised an eyebrow to Spot, silently asking if he knew who it could be. He shook his head, as she got up and answered the door. She smiled at the guests as she reached out and grabbed Addie. She pushed open the door as Momma walked in, Kenzie in her arms.

“Momma!” Spot sat up and grinned despite the pain on his side. Race stood, taking Kenzie from her arms before kissing her cheek loudly. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought it might be a good idea for you two to see your daughter. Addie is just along for the ride, though I thought her parents could see her too.” Medda grinned, watching Jack take Addie from Kat’s arms. “Besides, I wanted to check up on you to make sure you were okay.”

Spot grinned at the woman who had been the replacement momma in his life. Ever since he and Race started dating, Medda had taken him in as one of her own. “Doing alright momma. Will be laid up for a little bit as I recover but I’ll be just fine in the long run.”

“Good.” She patted his foot. “You make sure that son of mine takes care of you, waits on you hand and foot.”

Race, cuddling Kenzie, looked up at his mother with an insulted look. “Hey! As if I wouldn’t wait on him hand and foot! I take offense to that.”

Laughter sounded around the room as Medda shook her head. “I’m just thankful you, Spot, and Katherine are okay. I checked in with Albert and Finch earlier and they’re doing as well as could be expected. I’m just glad all my babies are okay and here with us tonight.”

Kat looked around the room, locking eyes with each of the people in it, giving them a smile. “I’m glad today is almost done and tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow we start to move on from today and though we'll never forget, we will start to move on.”

Kat and Spot locked eyes. Though they had always been close since college, it seemed their bond had dug a little deeper. And she smiled, there was no one she’d rather have in her corner than Spot Conlon, as he would always have her back, just like she always would have his.

Feedback would be wonderful and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[kpopseregi]

flowergirl. Chapter 2

(credit gif to owners)

link to chap 1 -- ( flowergirl. Chap.1 )

* flowergirl. Chap. 2

Genre : Soulmate AU

Pairing : Yunho X Reader / Woosan / Seongjoong

Warning : none except light curse words. 

Recommended playlist : Talk To Me- Red Velvet

Words : 1.7k+  

                The morning came. Yunho has never been so energized like that in his whole life. Even if it just for a moment, it’s already been a colorful life for Yunho’s. Just imagine if they were together. Ah, what a heaven. *RINGSS RINGSS* (sorry im bad at imitating those alarm clocks TT) Shit, he was running late, Hongjoong gonna spank his sorry ass. (He likes it tho :p) He wear his usual boyfriend’s look, to impress his soulmate, Nana. Speaking of her, he curious about that Wooyoung guy. Was he her’s boyfriend? Please no. He waited for her long enough. Damn it! Another daydreaming. He gasped after looking at his watch and races to the door.

-

                He arrived at Hongjoong’s place in 10 minutes with hope that he is not going to get killed by that tiny boss. Just his luck, Hongjoong was also running late. “Ayy lover boy, come here, I need you to arrange what Hongjoong has extracted 2 months ago.” Mingi smirked. Yunho was flustered. “What lover? You’re wish.” Too late, San has already informed everybody. As expected, Reporter Choi San doing his duty. Well,this is a big news as Yunho never has a girlfriend despite all his friend has one before encountered their respectful soulmate. ‘Saying about being loyal.’ Mingi shrugged. Heck! Even clumsy Mingi had ten and more before he met Aisha. Ehem.... for some experience. Damn, that tall girl already dominated Mingi’s little princess heart with her boyish charm. Blessed with great figure and athletic abilities, Mingi was so damn grateful. Suddenly...

                *BANG*  As they were about to do some work, Hongjoong slammed the door. Poor those big babies almost has mini heart attack. ‘Well,his expressions doesn’t seem that great’ Mingi and Yunho exchanged looks and thinking the same thing. (plot twist:real soulmate -.-). “Do I looks like someone who would cheat to you?!” That tiny man ask both of them. They just shakes their head. “Right!? How the hell he get that idea that I would cheat with my customers? How the hell did he even become my soulmate? Aren’t soulmate SUPPOSED to trust and understand each other? Why the hell this world has this soulmate thingy? I should just live in somebody’s pocket,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes. Then he slammed his workroom door. Poor doors. 

               “I didn’t even know Hongjoong have soulmate?” Yunho asked Mingi. “Well, how the hell you would know? They broke up just before you came on your first day. That’s why Hongjoong was a bit mean when he interviewed you. But don’t worry, deep down, he is a kind man. Damn, I cringed at that.” Mingi and Yunho laughed. “But... aren’t you supposed to stay with your soulmate through thick and thin?” Mingi just sighed. “It’s the couple decision to break up or to stay. But in returns, your heart is the one suffering. So it’s better to treat your soulmate well.” Yunho smiled. “Nice words, clumsy Mingi.” Mingi grinned.

                                  The bell rings to indicate new customer has come in. Yunho was about to greet the customer but the customer has backhugged him. He blinked. “Umm... who are you?” Yunho’s heart started to race, this time it’s not that ‘crush-looking-at-you’ kind but ‘shit-is-that-a-burglar?’ kind. “It’s me bro!” San yelled excitedly. Yunho sighed. “Bro you scared me!” Yunho whined. San actually was on his morning break to grab some coffee after his morning weather forecast news but decided to hang out at Hongjoong”s shop instead. “How’s my big babie Mingi doing?” Mingi popped his head from the store room. “Doing well Sannie! Aisha surprised me with a private event last night for our 2nd anniversary.” Mingi excitedly share his story with a dreamy face. San nods. “And you Yunho?” Yunho sighs. “Hopefully I can meet her today tho.” He pouts. “Where is that exactly?” Yunho just shrugged his shoulders. “I met her at the alleyway that goes straight to P.S flower shop.” San squints his eyes. “Is that what I think I heard? She has connection with Park Seonghwa then?” San mumbled. “What?” Yunho asks in curiosity. “Nothing! Oh, look at the time! Chief Kim gonna search for me, take care guys!” San headed toward the door. Yunho and Mingi just waves to his back.

-

                “Yah Nana, look at meeeee!” Wooyoung stomped his foot. “Shut the f up Wooyoung. You know I can’t even look at myself.” Wooyoung suddenly looked guilty. Yeosang nudged him. “Why the hell you said that?” “Sorry! I’m not used to it!” Wooyoung whisper-yelled at Yeosang. “You know she was sensitive about it right? Even she’s pretending like it was nothing.” Wooyoung just sadly stares at her. Yes, even if she was not perfect, Wooyoung still likes her. “Wooyoung, I know you’re staring at me.” Wooyoung just looked away. “When did I do that? You’re mistaken, sis.” Nana rolled her eyes. “BRO, YOU LITERALLY DID THAT WHEN YOU FEEL SAD OR GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING, I KNOW YOU LIKE THE BACK OF MY HANDS.” 

                                 Wooyoung was startled. “How did you know that?” Wooyoung asked. “Let’s say I use my other sense better after I lost my eyes. Call that intuition. And bro, we literally grew up together.” Suddenly, Yeosang starts to speak, “If you didn’t butt in someone’s business, you probably can still see us you know.” Wooyoung kicked Yeosang’s legs. “Yeosang-ah, don’t be mean!” “What, I speak the facts only.” Yeosang shrugs. Nana bit her lips. “If you didn’t like befriend with someone who likes to butt in someone’s shit, then don’t.”  She left the table. “Sorry Yeo, but you’re being a dick. Wait Nana!” Wooyoung chases after Nana. “I don’t like to befriend with a stupid whose slow with his love life either.” Yeosang sips his tea.

-

                    Nana arrived at the rooftop of her school. Wooyoung quietly closes the door. “Am I being stupid Wooyoung?” Wooyoung shakes his head, ah, he forgot Nana can’t see him. “Nope, no at all, Nana.” “I didn’t even asked to be blind! I never thought it would backfires on me! If only... “ Nana sobbed. Wooyoung hugged her. “No, Park Nana. You did the right thing. You do know that God help someone who helps other people right?” Nana nodded. “Good, and you know Yeosang didn’t mean what he said right? He just worried like me and Seonghwa after the news. He is the one who panicked the most you know? Saying things such as ‘Wooyoung if something happens to my baby while you’re slow driving right now,you’re dead.’ He cares about you like a lot.” Wooyoung shuddered. 

                   “Okay, I should probably search for him.” Nana seems a bit touched and pulled back. Wooyoung saw the snorts attached to his uniform but didn’t say anything. “Sorry for that Wooyoung, to watching me crying my ugly ass” Wooyoung shakes his head. “As long as my princess happy.” Nana smiled. The nickname he used on her still used till today. Strangely, they’ve never fight. Just annoying here and there, mainly Wooyoung started it tho. This special bond they’ve shared till this day never failed to amazed them. 

-

                  They went back into the class. Other students badmouthing Nana right in front of her as they were jealous with how beautiful and smart Nana is before that accident happens. The badmouthing now has worsen since Nana became blind, saying she’s an attention seeker. And Nana just start loosing her confidence. Before, she would retort to those rumors strongly but now she’s scared they will be worsen and she can’t protect herself if Wooyoung and Yeosang were not around. But when Wooyoung came, they changed their attitude. Yeosang can’t stand this kind of behavior. “Hey you bitch one and bitch two. Stand up.” The girls who were badmouthing Nana stands up instantly. If Nana was a gun, Yeosang was a bazooka. That kid never losing a verbal fight even once in his life. Straight up burn everyone with his words alone.  

                   “Wooyoung and me didn’t fail our last year final exam on purpose and retake this year just to hear you bullying Nana. Your face doesn’t get approved even if you just wished to be our girlfriends. Even a tons of make up and plastic surgeries will not cover your ugliness because that comes from your heart. Yet you call an ulzzang and natural face like her an ugly woman? Apologize.” The girls were speechless and stuttered but before Yeosang could raise his voice, Nana grabbed his arm. “That’s enough, let’s go Yeosangie.” Yeosang just let her drag him away to their seat. Just in time, the teacher came in and the class starts.  “I’m sorry for earlier Yeosangie.” Yeosang just smiled and patted her head.

-

                 After the school ends, Nana went straight up to Seonghwa’s flower shop. She called for her brother, well, no one is answering. But, after a while, her heart started to beat fast. ‘Shit,not this again.’ She quickly went to hide behind the counter. The door’s bell were ringing and someone sounds breathless as if they just ran. ‘Fuck, I’m not ready to meet him yet!’ “You’re here right? And you can feel it too. Please, I’ve been waiting to get to know you..” Nana’s heart just a bit melted by his sweet voice. “Sorry, but I’m not ready to meet you yet. If you were willing, can we just exchanges name for today? We can take it slow.” As long as that is what his soulmate wants, Yunho obligated. Even if he’s already know what was her name. (Doesn’t want to sound like a stalker~) “My name is Jeong Yunho, and I’m waited for 20 years to serve my beautiful soulmate.” He said it so cheesily that Nana starts to blush. “My name is Nana, I’m sorry but I don’t want you to see me in this condition right now. Can you please leave? You can come when I’m stabilized myself tomorrow.” Yunho just confused and agreed with it as he doesn’t want to come off as pushy soulmate in their first meeting. After he left, Nana released her breath. She didn’t even realised she was holding her breath this whole time. But, she kind of wondering, what kind of face does he has? Dog-like? Cat-like? Doesn’t matter, she can’t see them anyways.  

[purewhitepages]

La Retour de Foi Chapter 7

A/N: This is the end of Arc I but I could go on. If you have any suggestions, replies and asks are open. Thank you so much for all your continued support. I wrote the first draft of this fic in Feb. and I was sure it was something nobody would want to read. I’ve never been more happy to be wrong. 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 6

Claire woke earlier in the morning than usual. She went about her routine as she would any other day, to be sure. Today was going to be a long day of preparation for the Reunion the next day. There was the tent to put up and food to cook, decoration and set up. She was definitely going to need some coffee.

She made her way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. She noticed voices and the smell of eggs and coffee wafting through the air from the open door. She smiled and stepped over the threshold to witness a scene that made tears well up in her eyes.

“And he was sore because you did so well?” Her husband was at the stove, cooking, his whole body was turned towards the person seated on the counter near him.

Faith’s eyes sparkled and the sunlight beamed through the window beside her. Her dark brown, curly hair was piled on-top of her head and she wore earrings with a white peasant blouse and jean shorts. She seemed to positively radiate light, banishing the shadows from her perch next to the sink.

She nodded to Jamie’s question. “I became president of the chess club when I was a senior, and we ended up going to States. Which, who’s to say wouldn’t’ve happened if he hadn’t taught me, but I wouldn’t have gone, and that’s the important part, I think.”

Jamie nodded, sliding the omelet onto a plate and handing it out to her. “No doubt.”

A small sound came from Claire’s throat, making them both look up to see her standing in the doorway, staring at them. She covered her mouth and shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Don’t get up, just stay there.”

Her husband smiled at her and nodded. “I’ll make ye an egg, Sassenach, and ye can sit with wee Faith and let her regale ye with stories of her youth.” Jamie seemed to have grown a foot taller, as if the weight of the last few weeks had rolled off him in the night.

The two women sat at the table as Jamie whistled a tune to the sound which Claire was sure was supposed to be “Garden Grow” but sounded more like a very confused bird. She smiled.

“So, tell me, what were you doing in London?” She asked Faith, bringing the young woman out of her thoughts.

She smiled at Claire. “I have some friends living there, Denny Hunter and I went to medical school together.”

Claire smiled. “Where did you go for medical school?”

“I went to Appalachia State in North Carolina for my pre-med, but then Harvard for med school.”

Claire smiled. “What did you specialize in?”

“General Surgery, I graduated a little over a year ago.”

They chatted very broadly for a few minutes. Faith told her parents about growing up in Maine and about her travels. Eventually, after their breakfast was complete, they ran into a lull in the conversation. Claire eyed her daughter as she chewed her lip. Jamie had always teased Claire for her glass face, and she finally knew the true meaning of that statement. It was clear that  Faith had only one question on her mind: how did such a loving and supporting family have a child taken away from them? And when Claire asked, her suspicion turned out to be true.

“I know you probably think I’ll be upset by whatever you tell me,” Faith said. “But I’d like to know all the same.”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment and Faith held her breath.

“Do you want to go first or should I?” Claire asked.

“I’ll go first.” Jamie cleared his throat. “Yer mam and I met at University, at St. Andrews. At the time we were both very involved with the Scottish Independence Movement-” With this, Jamie paused a moment, gathering his words.

“A cause we both support to this day,” Claire stepped in.

“O’ course, o’ course. Well, yer mam and I, we got married just a year later. We were verra young, Faith, verra young. In our movement, ye have to understand, we met some of the best men and women to have ever walked this earth. But there were some-- let’s say, not quite as bright as the rest.” The tone of his voice made Faith’s heart skip a beat. “When yer mam was pregnant with ye, I attended a protest in Edinburgh that went verra badly. The police came, and a woman was trampled to death in the ensuing riot.” Bree held back her gasp as she pressed further against the wall. “I was arrested, and tried under conspiracy to commit terrorism.”

“But you’re not a terrorist!” Faith insisted.

“Aye, a leannan.” There was a smile in his voice and Faith bit her lip. “The charge was reduced, but I still went to prison. And yer mam-...”

“I-” Claire’s voice cut through Jamie’s somber words but then she cut herself off. “You have to understand, Faith, that I was very young and very pregnant, and, quite suddenly, very alone. They investigated all of us, and I was very scared.” She took another breath. “I started to have problems with my pregnancy on top of all this stress, and I had to be placed in the hospital.” She took a deep breath as if preparing herself for the next bit. “During your birth, there were many complications, and the doctors were very concerned that you wouldn’t survive. They kept you under observation as we both recovered, but I wasn’t allowed to see you. It was this that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. My husband was in jail, as were most of my close friends, the police were at my home, I hadn’t slept in my own bed in weeks, I almost died in childbirth on top of the pregnancy hormones and, to top it all off, I couldn’t even see my newborn daughter. I had a complete mental breakdown and your aunt and uncle checked me into a mental hospital.” Jamie hand embraced Claire’s and she smiled sadly at him as she sniffed.

“And they took me away?” Faith asked.

Jamie nodded. “Ye were placed with the McTavishes while yer mam was recovering. I was released after a year and we fought for the next several years to get ye back, but- ‘twas not to be. The crime of association cost us everything but each other.” Jamie sighed and held his wife closer. Faith reached out and took his hand. He smiled at her. “But, ‘twas not long after that, Fergus came to us, needing a home, and we had Brianna and William. And we were able to restore my father’s old home, Lallybroch. Life went on, though a small piece of us was missing until now.” He squeezed her hand and she smiled back at him.

“Yes, we have so much,” Claire said. “But what we lost-...it wasn’t worth it, in the end. Faith, you are our blood, but not our daughter. What we could’ve had is gone.”

Faith reached out her other hand to take Claire’s. “I cannot say what could have been, and there isn’t a lot of use for it.” She took Claire’s hand in both of hers and gripped it tightly. “I am here now, I am alive, I am so glad to know you, and I am thankful for everything you have done for me. I will be here for you all, no matter what. I know I haven’t been here long. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that this is where I belong.”

Brianna stepped away from the kitchen doorway and went back up to her room. Roger was still on the phone in the hallway with the head professor. She touched his shoulder on the way back to her bed. Her parents had never kept the story from the children of what happened to them in their youth, but she had never heard it in such detail before. How much pain had they carried all these years and never spoke of?

It was 8:30 am and Bree was already exhausted. She hadn’t been able to sleep well after the events of the day before, and then Roger was woken up by a call from the lead professor on his team. It was looking like he would have to go home early. There was so much on her mind and she just wanted a damn cup of coffee for heaven’s sake. What she’d gotten was a lot more information than she was sure her parents wanted her to hear.

A part of her wanted to be mad at Faith, blame her for disrupting the status quo, but she couldn’t find it in her to do so. What would she have done in her shoes? Probably something much dafter, Bree thought ruefully to herself.

“Did ye get some breakfast?” Roger asked, poking his head into the door. Bree shook her head. “Well, best head down, don’t you think? Lots to do today so I hear.”

Epilogue

‘“Good morning to you all,” Jamie began and there was a chorus of greetings in response. “It is a great honor to have ye all here today at what will hopefully be the First Annual Fraser-Murray Reunion at Lallybroch.” He paused for applause and cheering. “As many of ye know, it has been a dream of our family’s to restore our ancestral home of Broch Turach, more affectionately known as Lallybroch, to its former glory. I stand here today, proud to announce that this goal, which has been a dream of my father, and his mother before him, has been completed.” Another round of cheering and whooping accompanied this and Jamie himself grinned at the smiling faces before him. “Yes, it is a very great honor to stand here today, to say those words, and to welcome my family home.” He paused a moment.

“Though most of the hard labor has been completed, there is still much work to be done in regards to upkeep and running of this once mighty estate. This task is not something one person can bear, but I have every faith that we can bear it, together.” His eyes sought out his wife and each one of his children as he spoke. “Today, however, we celebrate our success, our bond, and the chance to be a whole family, for the first time in history.” His voice broke at the end but he swallowed and soon recovered, wiping his nose quickly on his sleeve. “I would like to propose a toast-” A cacophony of sounds occurred as everyone stood and raised their glasses with Jamie. “-to Lallybroch and to Family.”

“To Lallybroch and to Family,” everyone echoed and fell silent as they drank.

“Let the festivities begin!”

A cheer erupted. Kitty wrapped an arm around Faith and the two girls embraced. She held up her glass of Mrs. Bug’s famous lemonade and cleared her throat. “To you, Faith, and the long winding journey ye took to get here. Better late than never.”

Faith laughed and linked her arm through her cousin’s, drinking from her own glass.

Though the party was to celebrate Lallybroch and the family, most of the activities centered around Faith. Everyone wanted to talk to her, but most just settled on being near her. She never faltered under the attention she was receiving, only showed love to everyone.

She met Murtagh properly, along with his fiance, Jocasta--who embraced Faith and promised to tell her all about the MacKenzies and the Frasers at a later time. Murtagh was clutching a package that was hastily wrapped in Christmas paper and presented it to Faith. She thanked him and grinned at the scrawled

“Welcome home, Faith” on the front as she undid the ribbon. Inside the package was a knitted blanket of forest green. It smelled freshly washed, but was very old, from what Faith could tell.

“I made that blanket with my own two hands,” Murtagh told her, jabbing the yarn with his fingers. “As I did for all of yer parent’s bairns afore they were born. Never got the chance to give it to ye, and I guess I could’ve given it to yer sister, but, it didna feel right to give a bairn a blanket meant for another child.” He shrugged. “Must’ve been intuition, for I’m giving it to ye now. ‘Tis a wee bit small- oh!” Murtagh gasped as the young woman threw her full weight against him in a tight hug. “There, there now, lass,” he said as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Thank you.” The words were muffled by his shoulder but they made him smile all the same.

There were games to play and food to eat. As the day turned into night, the young people had all gathered at a table and were talking and laughing. After a song from Young Jamie (who was about one whisky away from proper drunk), Young Ian asked Faith about her tattoos. With a wary eye to the older people not far away, Faith stripped off her flannel shirt to stand in her tank top, exposing most of her tattoos.

“I got each of them after something important in my life,” she explained, pointing to some writing on her bicep. “My mom used to always write me notes on my lunch box, so I got it tattooed. ‘Tha gaol agam ort, a nighean.’ The thistle is for my dad.” She pulled the neck of the garment down to expose the single stalk of thistle placed right over her heart. “He died of cancer five years ago. The foxglove is a matching one I got with a girl in MSF in South Africa. The first one I got when I applied to school when I was 17,” She pointed to caduceus on her opposite shoulder. “I was really nervous about getting it.”

“Scared it would hurt?” Ian asked and Faith shook her head.

“Nah, I can stand pain no problem. I was worried because I was still waiting to hear if I’d gotten into the pre-med program, and if I hadn’t then it would’ve been very embarrassing for me.” There was a laugh as Faith put her shirt back on and sat down.

“Were you thinking of getting one, Ian?” she asked.

Ian’s ears turned pink but he nodded. “Aye.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and pulled up a picture to show Faith. “I was thinking of getting this.”

“Did you draw this?” Faith asked. “Kitty, look at this.” She took Ian’s phone to show it to Kitty beside her. Kitty looked to see a minimalistic drawing of purple heather with the words “Je suis prest” in black in.

“Prêt is spelled wrong though, just so you know, before you get that on you.”

Ian let out a laugh. “Ye dinna ken yer own family motto, lass. That’s how it’s supposed to be spelled.”

“What?” Faith grabbed the phone back from Kitty to look back at it again. She stared at it for a long while, before giving it back to Ian.”

“Who were you planning on getting it from?”

“There’s a lad in the village who says he can do it for me.”

“Do you mind if I get it too?”

Ian’s eyes lit up and he nodded ecstatically.

“Me too?” Kitty asked.

“Oh, I dinna ken, Kitty-”

“Och, shut up, I’m getting it and that’s that.”

Bree sat forward in her seat and held out her hand. “Let me see it.” Ian passed her the phone and she scrutinized the drawing. “I think I’ll get it to.”

At Bree’s approval, most of the younger generation all had a look at the drawing and decided to get it done as well. Even Jamie, who had hitherto been unapproving of tattoos said he would be willing to consider it, but that Willie was not allowed to get one until he was 18. They made a plan to go the next day to Ian’s friend and see about getting the tattoos done.

Claire stayed out of the discussion mostly. She didn’t feel comfortable butting in on the young people’s plans and passed on the opportunity to get a tattoo. She smiled as Faith sat beside her and brushed their shoulders together.

“Mam,” Faith said, softly.

“What is it, my darling?” She pushed a bit of hair out of her daughter’s face and tucked it behind her ear.

“I’d like to get a tattoo for you, if that’s alright.” Claire blinked a bit and nodded.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well, actually, I had an idea about matching one for the two of us, if you’d like.” Claire listened as she told about her plan and agreed with a small tear in her eye.

The next day, she was holding the hand of her husband and watching as Ian’s friend worked. Though the words would now be permanently visible on her skin, the idea had always existed in her heart. When they were done, she placed her right hand, wrist up, next to her daughter’s for a picture.

When placed together, the tattoos made up the first law of thermodynamics: “Nothing is lost...Only changed.”

Fin

[mumofheathensx4]

So since I last posted, I have had another child. I only had boys before but now we have our girl. They’re a beautiful bunch but the summer holidays have now started and my sanity will be called into question before the end so here we are… again!! 😂🤣

I have Eli, Riley, Milo and our girl Savannah.

Eli is going into a new routine where he’s not allowed his electronics until Savannah and Milo are in bed. He does not like this 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 when he’s on his tablet, he doesn’t hear or see anything unless it’s on his screen and so wasn’t present in the room. He wasn’t spending time with us and he was becoming distant with his siblings and was very grouchy and snappy when he was distracted from his game, it wasn’t fair that his brothers and sister were on the tail end of it so I had to pull out the big guns. BUT this is where my sanity is already dwindling, if I got to hear “muuuuum, I’m bored” ONE MORE TIME, I swear I’m going to lose it 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ he’s only doing it so I give in and give him his electronics but he forgets where he gets his stubbornness from… ME 😂🤣 gutted for him, I’m more likely to dig my heels in when he’s trying to annoy me into giving in than he is if he was to just leave it out .

Riley is always a struggle but has now started to pull the mattresses off the beds in their bedroom. The amount of times I’ve done my back in picking them up is stupid and I can’t take decent painkillers so it’s not fun. The difference between when I started this to now is just how far Riley has come. He can sign quite well now, has started to try form words verbally (he’s still non verbal but I can just about understand most of what he’s trying to say, especially if he signs with it) and the best thing ever is he can read. I’m so proud of this kid, he does my head in most days with his cheeky ways but the progress he has made is incredible. He’s doing martial arts at school, it was an issue to start with because there’s only so much karate chopping my spine can take but he’s stopped doing that now. He’s got 2 belts and is doing extremely well. He also does gymnastics at school and it turns out, his balance is amazing (he stands on his dads shoulders and can stay there for a long time before he jumps off). The first time he stood on his uncles shoulders, he crapped his pants 😂🤣 Riley found it nearly as funny as I did.

Milo has made progress in his own way. He still has trouble communicating but has started to use PECs at school. Last year, Milo was referred to have weighted boots, we are still waiting for this and it’s becoming a problem. His Achilles have shrunk from never walking flat footed, he’s always walked on his tip toes, since he started walking and now he can’t put his foot flat to the floor. The problem with this is that he now has really weak ankles and his foot is started to bow from his weight (he is not a light child). We still don’t know how long the referral will take to come through but hopefully it’s soon so we can make a starts on helping him. He is having occupational therapy and physio on his feet and ankles to stretch the Achilles but it’s not doing much and he’s still pretty much stuck on his tip toes. He can only wear certain shoes, that bend, so he can walk and as he’s getting older and his feet are getting bigger, it’s getting harder to find shoes that accommodate this. He’s probably the more difficult of the 4 because of his extra needs but he’s such a lovely kid, he’s worth every second of worry. He falls on ver thin air so it’s always a worry that he’ll go down awkwardly on his ankles and we’ll be presented with a bigger problem. He broke his arm last October, but of course he couldn’t just do 1 bone, ooooh no, both bones were snapped. They were worried he would require surgery but luckily they managed to cast it and after 6 weeks, it was healed. He’ll always have a weakness there but he was a champ and took it all on the chin, only having morphine to get his arm straight and plastered, instead of ketamine. Never does things by half these kids.

Savannah was born in November 2020. She was born in the second UK covid lockdown. She had a few problems at the start. We were in and out of hospital for weeks. She had to go in an incubator and be watched constantly. She had severe jaundice and struggled keeping her weight, she was on a strict feeding chart and was having blood tests everyday, at one point, to check her haemoglobin levels. After 3 weeks of hospital stays and feeding and almost completely sleepless nights, she started to keep her weight and started to put it on. Looking at her now and the way she eats, you’d never have thought it ever happened. She’s still fairly small, for her age, but she is has come such a long way. She has started learning words and can sign a couple of words too. She’s an incredible little girl. Her attitude and stubborn streak rivals my own and can be infuriating but she’s so funny. That’s enough for today, here’s a couple of pictures of Savannah at the beginning and now. Toodaloo ✌🏻����

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper Interviews Mark Greaney

Relentless by Mark Greaney is how the main character, The Gray Man, Court Gentry, is defined. The title also describes how the story will blow people’s minds with all the action and intrigue.

The plot opens with Gentry in the hospital being treated for an infection caused by a knife wound.  He is asked to head to Venezuela to find a rogue NSA employee and interrogate him for information. He finds out that there is software, PowerSlave, that can identify operatives and that the UAE plans on using an Iranian cell to start a war.  After discovering that his love interest and fellow member of “Poison Apple" is in Berlin, he heads there.

Zoya Zakharova has infiltrated a private intelligence firm, Shrike, with some alarming connections. While Gentry has been forbidden from contacting her, his job is to provide backup, should she need it. Shrike has been providing surveillance on several Iranian sleeper agents for their client. Needless to say, they find a way to work together to find information about those wanting to orchestrate a terror attack that could lead to a war between the US and Iran. Not only is Zoya in danger because of her mission she is also being hunted by Russian operatives who are attempting to assassinate her. As a former SVR agent who defected, the Russians want her dead or alive. Court and Zoya know they work best when working together, helping each other to survive and prevent a war.

Mark Greaney definitely has become one of the top thriller authors. His characters are very well developed, and plots filled with hard hitting action and riveting tension. He is able to create storylines where his characters are up against assassins, mercenaries, spies, and terrorists.

Elise Cooper: Why the UAE and Iran?

Mark Greaney:  I read an article in an intelligence magazine that explained how the US has an agreement with the UAE.  The US will not collect intelligence on that country.  I thought --what if something went wrong?  After doing some research I saw that we are not always allies and did have some problems in the past.  As I was finishing my last edits, news broke out that the UAE and Israel were signing an agreement to work together against Iran. The UAE was worried that the US might not come through for them.  They are Sunni and are worried about the expansion of Shite Iran.

EC:  Any of it true?

MG:  Yes, the UAE is contracting American mercenaries to do assassinations in Yemen.  Also, a private intelligence company did hire people from Mossad, NSA, and the CIA to work cyber hacking.  There is this company run by the UAE who sees Iran as the enemy and wanted to stalk flames.

EC:  Why the main focus of the setting in Berlin?

MG:  I wanted to do this book in Berlin before I had a story. I wanted it to have a Cold War feel with geo-political issues.  This is where a lot of the action takes place. At the core, this is a spy story.

EC:  It is always great when Zoya plays a role in the story?

MG:  Just like Court, she is on the run from different people, sometimes the Agency.  I want Zoya to always be looking over her shoulder.  She is a really important character. There are parallels between their two lives.  I do like their relationship but will never have them married and having a baby.    

EC:  PowerSlave is real?

MG:  Not yet.  Every year it becomes harder and harder to spy with human intelligence.  Computer algorithms can predict someone’s gait.  Operatives do have their biometric data stored with American agencies.  The technology does exist to identify people.  Although human intelligence is the best to find information inside someone’s head, it is getting tougher and tougher to cover someone’s identity.

EC:  You always present Court with unique enemies?

MG:  Court has a bone infection.  It prevented him from doing what he wanted in the needed timeframe.  It made him weak. I did not want a character like those in the movies and TV shows where someone gets shot or stabbed and then they are right back into the action.  Realistically, Court has suffered a fair amount of physical abuse.

EC:  Why a bone infection?

MG:  In the previous book, One Minute Out, he is stabbed. Now he has an infection, which makes him more vulnerable.  It is one more enemy he needs to fight.  I hope this shows his true grit.  I came up with this from my own personal experience.  About five years ago, I had surgery on my foot.  I ended up getting an infection where I needed to have IV seven days a week for eight weeks.

EC:  There was an Iranian General killed by a US drone.  Sounds familiar?

MG:  I put it in after it happened last year to Soleimani.  I wrote it where Iran did not respond, but an operative did respond.  I hope it adds another layer of intrigue.  In the book the Deputy Director of the CIA said the General needed to go. He is a real bad guy even if it does not make it safter for the US.  This guy in real life and in the book got what was coming to him.  Hopefully, the next guy will think twice.

EC:  Matt Hanley, the head of the CIA program, Poison Apple, has a Colt 1911 gun-do you?

MG:  I do not own one.  It has been used by Special Forces operatives over the years.  It is a type of gun and the model is 1911.

EC:  Suzanne Brewer seems to be getting worse and worse?

MG:  The reader does know more about her than Zack, Zoya, or Court.  I think it adds tension to the story.  She is a Class A manipulator who only cares about herself and her career trajectory. She is becoming more powerful.

EC:  The Gray Man movie is being made by Netflix?

MG: It is a two-hour film of the first book.  They start filming on March 1st.  Gentry will be played by Ryan Gosling and the villain Lloyd by Chris Evans. I did not have an official say but the Russo brothers did talk to me about the character and storyline. When they wrote the first script it was fantastic and followed close to the book itself.  Joe Russo and I have stayed in touch. I understand that this is not the book and the directors, screenwriters, and actors will have their own artistic interpretation.  It has a really big budget-the most Netflix has ever spent.  What is finally shot and edited I find out at the same time as everyone else.

EC:  What about your next book?

MG:  I am just now starting to write it.  It will involve some things in Court’s past, about twelve years ago, when he worked in the paramilitary unit known as the Goon Squad. There will also be a present-day parallel plot line. It will take place in Pakistan, India, and Turkey. Currently, Brewer will be in the next book, Zach will be in the part of the book in the past, and Zoya will not be in it at all.  But since she is a major player, she will never be out more than one book.  I think Court is at his best when he has people to play off of.  I will be expanding the cast of characters.

THANK YOU!!

[zoemaxumus-blog]

DEH fanfic/script Part 1

Pan in on CONNOR and EVAN in the living room of their small apartment. They are cleaning up from game night that just took place. EVAN is putting the pieces to Monopoly back in the box.

Evan: Can we just take a minute to laugh at Jared and Alana? *giggles*

Connor: I know *smiles that huge smile and swipes a piece of hair behind his ear* they're not fooling anyone.

Evan: Not to mention them pretending not to partner up in monopoly.

Connor: Definitely under the table black market kind of shit.

EVAN laughs and puts the box in the closet.

Evan: Looks like we're done. I'm gonna head to bed *fidgets with shirt then walks toward the hallway*

CONNOR grabs EVAN'S wrist and spins him into a tight hug.

Connor: *whispers in his ear* Not without me you’re not.

EVAN pushes up on his toes to brush a long strand of hair out of CONNOR's eyes then kisses him sweetly (P u r E)

CONNOR takes EVAN's hand and leads him upstairs where CONNOR helps EVAN remove his red polo shirt and then lowers him onto the bed. CONNOR places sweet kisses on EVAN's shoulder while EVAN removes CONNORS shirt. They kiss until the kiss d become deeper. Stronger. More passionate.

PAN OVER TO a pair of black pants that have now been thrown on the ground. Out of the corner we see a message from MOM on the screen but we don't see the message.

PAN OVER TO the now entangled CONNOR AND EVAN. They are facing each other with their legs entwined and CONNOR's arm around EVAN's waist. EVAN is tracing patterns on CONNOR's free hand.

Connor: *sighs heavily* How are you so perfect? You surprise me every night.

Evan: I-I don't know *he chuckles nervously*

Connor: Well however you do it doesn't really matter, I'm lucky to have you Evan.

Evan: *huge smile spreads across his face// he never feels this accepted unless he's with Connor* *all he can muster to say is-* I love you Connor Murphy.

Connor: *kisses Evan's forehead* I love you too Evan Hansen.

They fall asleep together and then BLACK OUT

FADE IN on CONNOR's bed side table where we see a clock say 3:13 and their home phone starts ringing with the caller ID of Cynthia Murphy.

CONNOR stirs but as the ringer gets louder he finally wakes up and reaches for the phone. EVAN wakes up as soon as the answer button is pressed.

Connor:

Mom why didn't you just call my ce-

*pause*

What? Wait mom slow down.

*pause*

Wait Zoe is?

*pause*

Okay I'll be right there

*line disconnects*

*turns to Evan* I have to go.

Evan: What's going on babe?

Connor: Nothing. I don't want you to worry. You're always trying to be my hero. You deserve a break so go back to sleep.

Evan: Listen, if something's the matter I need to know.

CONNOR hesitates. EVAN places his hand over CONNOR's.

Connor: I-It's Zoe. She's- *more hesitation* *Evan stares at him with earnest eyes* She's in the hospital. There was an accident and I have to get there.

Evan: *squeezes his hand* I'm sorry but you must know that I'm coming with you. It's your sister. I want to support you.

Connor: *turns face away cause hair to shield his face* You are always trying to protect me and I-I appreciate it but you don't need to be my guardian angel.

Evan: And you are stubborn and believe you can do everything alone. *Connor scoffs* Listen, do you remember the first day we ever hung out? *Evan used his finger to brush hair behind Connor's ear*

Connor: Ya, I guess. At the orchard right? *now facing Connor*

Evan: Exactly. The summer before senior year of high school we were sitting under a tree and we promised each other that we'd never have to feel alone as long as we had each other. We're 22 now and I still stand by that promise Connor. I am always going to stand by your side.

Connor: *a single tear pools at the base of his eye and when he blinks trails down. Evan kisses his cheek stopping the tear from reaching his chin* Th-thank you (he barely whispers)

CUT TO: CONNOR racing through the doors of the ER wing with EVAN trailing not too far behind. To the left we see Larry, Cynthia, and Heidi huddled together in the waiting room. Both EVAN and CONNOR yell MOM! in unison and embrace their mothers.

Cynthia: Oh Connor thank god you're here. I tried to get ahold of your cell but it must've been dead.

Connor: Yea mom it's fine, I'm fine, but where's Zoe?

Larry: Like you care.

Connor: Nice to see you too dad.

Larry: Sorry it's just I'm surprised to see you showed up. You act like you hate your sister and you can't even bother to answer your mother's calls because you’re off doing god knows what with him *points a disapproving finger at Evan*

Connor: *getting angry* Me and Zoe aren't close because of the (sorry mom) SHIT I put her through in high school, but she's still family. And "him" has a name. Evan. And he's my boyfriend and I could care less if you disapprove of my (sorry again mom) FUCKING SEXUALITY. Oh and- *Evan rushes over and squeezes his hand* *Connor takes a deep breath and sighs* Look dad, can we please just put the past behind us for one night and support Zoe.

Larry: I'm here to support my daughter but I don't have to sit here and pretend I approve of you and forgive you for everything. *stands up and storms out*

Heidi: I'm sorry Connor. Your dad is just tense. Thank you for sticking up for my son though.

CYNTHIA nods in agreement.

Cynthia: Your sister is in room 9. She got hit by a drunk driver. Luckily there is no damage to the head or spine so she's not in critical condition. But her left leg did get trapped under the dash and it broke in two places. You can't go in yet but the doctor is supposed to let us know when we can. Oh and about your dad, he's just worried for his daughter. He didn't mean any of that.

Connor: Thanks mom, but you know better than anyone that he meant every word. *plops down on a chair and rubs his forehead*

DOCTOR walks into the waiting room.

Doctor: Zoe lost a lot of blood but is in stable condition. We are going to take her into immediate surgery, and only family can have 15 minutes with her. Be warned, she is heavily medicated and slightly confused. Her speech may be shaky.

EVAN squeezes CONNOR's thigh.

Evan: Tell her I say to get better soon and good luck in surgery.

CONNOR nods.

Connor: I wish you could come in with me.

Evan: Me too, but you're strong. You've got this.

Connor: You should be a coach. You're really amazing at pep-talks. *laughs nervously*

Evan: *grins and kisses Connor's cheek* Go! Go on! I'll be right here.

CONNOR and CYNTHIA round the corner and make their way down the hall where LARRY is waiting by ZOE's door. They all walk in and we PAN back over to EVAN and HEIDI.

Evan: I'm gonna call Alana and Jared. They're gonna want to be here.

Heidi: *nods* you're a good kid Evan.

Evan: *walks over and hugs her* thanks mom.

CAMERA follows EVAN as he walks down the hall, toward the elevator, and out the front doors.

CUT TO: ZOE's ER. ZOE is laying with her leg propped up and a tube in her nose. LARRY and CYNTHIA are on either side of the bed holding both of her hands and CONNOR is pressed up against the wall. Half in the shadows/half in the light.

Cynthia: Hey honey, we're here.

Zoe: Mom? Dad? I'm s-so sorry-- th- the car.

Larry: You lost a lot of blood sweetheart, you need to rest. Don't worry about the car.

Cynthia: The doctor told us they would be taking you into surgery for your leg. We wanted to see you before you went under.

CONNOR steps out of the shadows and makes his way to the foot of the hospital bed.

Connor: I have faith that you'll make it through this. You're a strong girl.

Zoe: C-connor? W-why are y-you here?

Connor: To support my sister.

Zoe: N-no you hate me. I-I'm confused. You're never w-worried about me.

CONNOR rushes to her side, pushing LARRY out of the way.

Connor: No no! Zoe, I know I've treated you terribly in the past but I've grown up and hopefully after this surgery we can become close again. I'm very sorry, but you're still family. Of course I'd be here.

Zoe: A-again?! W-we were never close c-Connor! You screamed at me and t-told me you hated me and you were going to k-kill me in high sc-school!

LARRY notices the machine beeping.

Larry: Connor! Her blood pressure is going up! Get out of here! Now!

Connor: I'm so sorry. I love you Zoe. Good luck.

CONNOR races out of the room, past EVAN, HEIDI, and now JARED and ALANA, through the halls, down 4 flights of stairs, out the front doors, and straight to the car where he gets in the passenger side and hang his head. He starts balling. EVAN is soon tap-tap-tapping on the glass, and climbing into the car.

Connor: Just when I think things are going good, they're fucking not. It seems like my sister will never forgive me for the past. And don't even get me fucking started on fucking Larry. He can go rot in hell for insulting us like that.

Evan: Hey, your sister will forgive you. It takes time and perseverance. As for your dad, he's an asshole, but not everyone is going to approve of us.

Connor: *waves hands around violently* I know, but it all still pisses me off. I'm just trying to be okay and move on, but it's days like this I wish I took those fucking pills.

EVAN looks shocked, then hurt. He looks down and fidgets with his shirt. CONNOR realizes what he just said.

Connor: Shit. Evan. I didn't mean it. I have you, and wouldn't have if I did take them, but it still…

Evan: P-pisses you off?

Connor: *sighs and slumps down* Yep.

Evan: Let's just go home. Zoe will be okay. It's an easy surgery and you need some sleep. *puts the car in gear and pulls out*

CONNOR whispers a “thank you”. BLACK OUT.

-----------------------------------------------

If you made it down this far, you fucking rock. Part 2 coming soon!!

[junker-town]

Somehow, the NFL is running out of quarterbacks

Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images

Quarterbacks are dropping like flies (not Tom Brady and Russell Wilson, though!) while Adam Vinatieri and the Broncos’ pass rush look decidedly not like themselves.

If you’re an NFL fan in 2019, there’s approximately a 1 in 5 chance your quarterback situation is in complete and utter turmoil.

Sam Darnold is out indefinitely for the Jets while he battles mononucleosis. His backup, Trevor Siemian, is out for the year with an ankle injury. Drew Brees will miss six to eight weeks with a torn thumb ligament. Ben Roethlisberger saw those situations and raised them by opting for surgery to repair a torn UCL that will force him to miss the final 14 games of the season.

That’s not all!

Cam Newton hasn’t looked himself all season and missed practice this week with a foot issue. Eli Manning played so poorly through two weeks he gave the Giants no choice but to push rookie Daniel Jones into the starting lineup, ready or not. The Dolphins are sticking with Ryan Fitzpatrick in Week 3, but might still go with Josh Rosen should things implode (they will). It won’t make much difference either way.

That’s just THIS week too. Nick Foles had surgery after Week 1, and in August, Andrew Luck decided he’d rather retire than slog through another round of rehab after dealing with injuries throughout the offseason.

The league’s ripe for a changing of the guard, but if your team is suddenly stuck starting a guy who’d been slated for clipboard duty in 2019 you may not feel so confident. Alas, if only there were a free agent available who could step right into the starting lineup ...

So yeah, this season is already exhausting. Is it all worth stressing out about, though?

Crap, what if Tom Brady and Russell Wilson have a point with their pseudoscience?

The early part of this season is taking out starting quarterbacks one by one, as if the football gods had a John Wick marathon over Labor Day weekend and got inspired. Heading into Week 3, only four starting quarterbacks who’ve won a Super Bowl are set to take snaps: Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson, and Joe Flacco.

It’s a strange coincidence several others were either injured or benched within days of each other, especially when you consider how consistent those quarterbacks have been in their long careers. Brees had only missed one start with the Saints due to injury. Manning has started 232 of 234 games he’s played in with the Giants. Roethlisberger’s entire injury history can be best summed up by this Terrell Suggs quote from 2016:

“He’s gonna act like ‘aw, I’m not playing. ... But then he’ll walk his big ass on out there and [I’ll be like] ‘how you doin’ Benjamin.’”

Rodgers (collarbone) and Flacco (hip, ACL) and have both dealt with serious injuries in recent years, too. Not Brady or Wilson, though.

It’s been more than a decade since the 42-year-old Brady has missed a game because of an injury. That’s never happened to the 30-year-old Wilson, who has started every game for the Seahawks since they drafted him in 2012 despite having a dismal OL for most of his career. Both players have also publicly lent their support to snake oil-type miracle cures like the TB12 Method and nanobubbles.

And while their peers are dropping like flies, Brady and Wilson are putting up MVP-like numbers:

Brady, for the 2-0 Patriots: 68.8% completion, 605 passing yards, 5 TDs, 0 INTs, 124.8 passer rating Wilson, for the 2-0 Seahawks: 78.2% completion, 495 passing yards, 5 TDs, 0 INTs, 134.5 passer rating

They’re clearly doing something right. Was it the, gulp, TB12 supplements and Recovery Water all along?

Panic index: Brady and Wilson take amazing care of themselves and have also been extremely lucky when it comes to injuries. Hopefully that continues because we don’t want to lose any more starting quarterbacks this year — someone please, bubblewrap Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson immediately. But as Gronk reminded us recently, NFL players are not doctors (Laurent Duvernay-Tardif excluded), so please don’t take medical advice from them.

Cam Newton was used like a running back; now he’s falling apart like one

Newton broke the career rushing touchdowns record for a quarterback three years ago and has added another 14 since. His rushing numbers aren’t just impressive among quarterbacks; two more touchdowns and he’ll be top 50 among running backs.

He’s at 934 career rushing attempts — another NFL record for a quarterback — but now all that wear and tear appears to be catching up with him.

Newton may miss the Panthers’ Week 3 game against the Cardinals due to a foot injury. It’s yet another setback for a player who was once pretty damn invincible. He missed just three games in his first seven years — including the time he only sat out one game after BREAKING HIS BACK in a car crash in 2014.

He’s not as bulletproof anymore. Newton missed the last two games of 2018 with a shoulder injury that required surgery, and now he’s dealing with his foot issue.

When he’s on the field, Newton doesn’t look the same. He’s still capable of making most of the throws, but when his feet aren’t underneath him, he struggles to get any velocity on the ball.

That’s not an easy throw to make, but it’s one that Newton of yesteryear completes, no problem. It was especially telling when Christian McCaffrey was stuffed trying to get 2 yards for a game-winning touchdown against the Buccaneers. That’s a situation that has been an automatic rushing touchdown for Newton for almost his entire career.

Running backs break down faster than any position in the NFL and often retire around 30. Did the Panthers put Newton — who is now 30 — on that career track by using him like a running back?

Panic index: A few minor injuries for Newton doesn’t mean his career is about to end. It’s possible, though, that his days running through defenses are behind him. If that means he has to transition into being a pocket passer and nothing more, that’s a problem. He’s never been much more than average at that.

The Broncos’ once-fearsome pass rush doesn’t have a sack in 2019

Von Miller and Bradley Chubb combined for 26.5 sacks last season. Through two games this fall, they’ve combined for zero. The rest of the Broncos’ defense has ... zero.

This is a problem. John Elway’s plan in 2019, as it was in 2018, is to hope a caretaker veteran quarterback could provide just enough support to push Denver to the postseason. That didn’t work with Case Keenum at the helm, and it’s not working with Joe Flacco. The former Raven is the engine behind an offense that’s scored only 30 points so far this year.

Flacco is 34 years old and has been only of the league’s least efficient passers since his Super Bowl 47 triumph. He’s not going to be much better than he has been. That leaves the heavy lifting of Denver’s playoff hopes on a once-triumphant defense that has seen its sack rate go from seventh-best in the league to dead last. The Broncos only have three QB hits on the season. All have come from Chubb, and one was wiped away by the especially ticky-tack roughing the passer call that helped the Bears win in Week 2:

Opponents have been able to make Vic Fangio’s pass rush obsolete by focusing on the Denver dynamic duo and daring the rest of the defense to make plays. They’ve been wholly unable to so far — per SIS, that pair only has two QB pressures between them — even against the underwhelming early-season combo of Derek Carr and Mitchell Trubisky. Unless someone else can step up and make opposing QBs uncomfortable, the Broncos may be relying on Flacco to gunsling his way to wins.

Panic index: Relying on late-stage Flacco is not a good sign. If Denver wants to pivot away from that, it’ll need big contributions from defensive linemen like Adam Gotsis and Derek Wolfe. At least Josey Jewell’s looked good so far!

Adam Vinatieri isn’t retiring, but he’s dealing with “demons”

Adam Vinatieri is the oldest player in the NFL and one of the last people anybody expected to be worried about going into this season. The 46-year-old is arguably the greatest kicker in NFL history, but he’s now missed kicks in each of his past three games, dating back to the Divisional Round of the playoffs last season.

In that game, Vinatieri missed a 23-yard field goal and an extra point. In Week 1 this season, he went 1-for-3 on extra point attempts. In Week 2, he was 1-of-3 on field goal attempts and 1-of-2 on extra points. That’s seven missed kicks in three games for the NFL’s all-time field goal leader.

After Sunday’s game against Tennessee, Vinatieri gave a cryptic message that led many to believe he was going to announce his retirement. That didn’t happen and he later said he’s just battling some “demons” right now and needs to get past them.

Of course, there were also reports that the Colts were attempting to persuade Vinatieri to stick around, and worked out six kickers, which they wouldn’t need to do if he wasn’t considering retirement — or if they weren’t considering moving on.

Panic index: It would be a shame for the Colts to lose both Andrew Luck AND Vinatieri in one season. That said, kickers are making more and more headlines in recent seasons and if the pressure is getting to him right now, that pressure is probably only going to increase. The Colts, at least, are sticking by Vinatieri for the time being. Hopefully a legend like Vinatieri gets to go out on his own terms, whenever that is.

The Chargers are slipping back into bad habits

Every year, we expect big things out of the Chargers. Philip Rivers is a great quarterback and they have a roster loaded with talent elsewhere. But they constantly underperform, and get by ravaged by injuries and kicking issues.

This season, it looks like not much has changed. Last weekend, Rivers couldn’t throw a touchdown against the Lions, punter Ty Long (filling in for injured kicker Michael Badgley) missed field goal attempts, the Chargers shot themselves in the foot with penalties, and then lost a low-scoring affair, 13-10. That came after a narrow 30-24 overtime win over the Colts in Week 1.

Not helping matters is tight end Hunter Henry is injured again, and the team just placed safety Adrian Phillips, who was filling in for Derwin James, on IR.

Meanwhile, running back Melvin Gordon is still holding out. Even though Austin Ekeler has looked decent, he hasn’t eclipsed 70 yards in either of the two games thus far this season and also had a costly fumble at the goal line against the Lions.

All in all, the Chargers look disorganized and uncertain ... again.

Panic index: The Chargers are pretty used to being here. Since 2015, they’ve started every season at 0-3 or 1-2, and in some of those cases (including last year) they turned things around. After starting 1-2 last season, the Chargers finished with a 12-4 record and made the playoffs. It’s not time to panic yet, but one has to wonder why they’re so sluggish to start so often.

[hangonimevolving]

Collateral damage

Today marks four weeks since my ankle surgery, and I am more or less the same as I was a week ago. The start of the week saw my foot looking much less swollen, and my range of motion much improved from the previous week. The last two days, the swelling and discoloration seem to have returned somewhat, for unknown reasons - but I’m not in any real pain, and my range of motion is still okay. So...maybe this fluctuation in swelling and color is just par for the course.

Today’s post is about the collateral damage that occurs with an injury like mine. At the outset, I’ll issue the disclaimer that I know a broken ankle, and that too, a simple fracture like mine, is not a major ordeal in the grand scheme of things. Sooo many other medical issues are worse. But - for someone going through this, and especially someone like myself with a ton of physically-demanding family obligations, a job that is uniquely physical and performance-oriented, and hobbies that are high-impact and vigorous in their physicality — this is a game changing type of injury, both in the short term, and I’m sure in at least a few ways (and hopefully not too many) for the long term. So here are a few short term challenges I’ve faced in recent days.

PHYSICAL

1). Aches and pains.... everywhere.

The human body is a bipedal marvel of engineering. We are designed to get around on two feet, and when something goes wrong and we have to bypass this design, it obviously sets into motion a number of compromises, adjustments, and overtaxing of other bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, and faculties of the body. I managed to hurt myself when I was arguably fitter than I’ve ever been in my life - and that too, with as strong an upper body as I’ve ever had. And even for me, using crutches has been hard. They put a ton of strain on the muscles of the back, shoulders, arms, even core... to say nothing of the strain on my lower back, hip, and knee due to lugging the heavy-ass boot around. Crutches require a TON of balance and coordination, and invariably there are sometimes some stumbles and klutzy moments than then give rise to tiny little injuries (e.g. a sharp fastener on one of my crutches gave me a small gash in my hand, when I sort of lost balance near my car and slid onto a crutch). The knee scooter is a LIFESAVER in many ways and I think it’s benefits outweigh the cons - but the cons, particularly the one about its toll on the knees, are really shitty for a person with preexisting knee arthritis. It also necessarily relies on the good leg for propulsion, which means that the pinky toe of said good leg often is susceptible to getting stubbed and whacked on baseboards of walls, furniture, etc when I’m trying to turn sharp corners, etc. And so it goes.

2) Poor food choices and control

I won’t belabor this one. When your mobility is limited, it’s harder to procure and prep healthy meals as one might be used to, so the tendency is to slide towards the easy and more available options.... and when you’re sitting around a lot, you tend to slide to your options more than you should, because of boredom. All fancy ways of saying, I’ve been pigging out. And it needs to stop.

3). The Trials and Tribulations of the Nether Regions

I had actually confided in a close friend about this issue, but hesitated to put it on this blog because it is probably TMI at best, and maybe I was a little embarrassed. But dammit, this is part of the real deal of recovering from ankle surgery, and I suppose I have nothing to be ashamed of. So here goes: ankle broke. Crutches are a pain. When one has one’s keister parked on the couch, one hesitates to go through the rigmarole of getting up, hobbling to the bathroom, and answering nature’s call at the appropriate times. One may opt, unwisely, to do things like limiting one’s water intake sharply, in order to avoid having to pee frequently - extra concerning when one normally is active and sweating and thus consumes over 100 oz. of water a day. As a result- one can quickly develop a RAGING urinary tract infection if one isn’t careful. (facepalm). The kind of UTI that needs two back-to-back courses of antibiotics to resolve. The kind of UTI that necessitates parking an ancient “spring break 2001!” emblazoned shot glass from that wild college getaway to Jamaica right next to... a giant bottle of 100% unsweetened cranberry juice in the fridge, so that one can take a literal shot of this (BITTER) elixir multiple times a day in an effort to fight off this plague. Yep. This is what’s up.

Silver lining - whodathunk it, but the internet is chock full of delightful and entertaining UTI memes. Isn’t this world amazing?! Here are some for your entertainment.

4). Foot vs. Foot: a civil war

Here is a weird problem. Sometimes, the HUMONGOUS, heavy, rigid-framed orthopedic boot on my left foot, will accidentally injure my right foot. This happens a lot when I’m in bed, trying to fall asleep. I’m attempting to change positions, and I have to kind of lug my left leg around to get it comfortable, but the boot is so heavy and has such a huge profile that it inadvertently thunks down onto my right foot or leg, and it honestly feels like I’ve just gotten kicked by the business end of a soccer cleat at full steam.

It HURTS! My right (good) ankle is covered in little bruises inflicted by my left ankle. It’s a civil war.

Anyway. Let me conclude this riveting post with a statement that I’ve just reread everything here, and now realize that this is all just a fancy way of whining. I’m sorry. But - it’s all also true. In this post, I described the physical types of collateral damage from breaking my ankle. I may or may not do a subsequent post on the social/psychological fallout. We’ll see. But, for now... lesson to be learned, guys: if you can help it, don’t break bones. It’s annoying. Kthxbye.

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one. 

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.) 

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask) 

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone 

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes 

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time 

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red 

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes 

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried 

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately 

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way 

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter 

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met. 

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2. 

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day. 

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults 

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off 

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing 

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men 

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....” 

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered 

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum 

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now 

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once 

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings 

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me 

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people 

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died:  Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long 

Do you believe in… 77. yourself?  Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day? 

78. Miracles?  sometimes 

79. love at first sight?  I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew 

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well 

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry 

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange 

84. Eye colour:  Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did 

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too. 

[borggolf]

2019: The Year of the Shoulder

My 2019 golf season will hopefully be known as the year of the bad shoulder. I say hopefully because I’m hopeful that it will not be quite as bad in 2020. My right shoulder started bothering me in the spring of 2018, but not to the point where it affected my golf game until June of last year.

I started 2019 with my typical itch to play right away. Having managed to get in two 18 hole rounds one warm weekend in December, the itch wasn’t bad enough that I felt the need to play the simulator. But during a business trip to Michigan in February, I remembered to bring a few clubs along and found an indoor driving range. Another month would pass before I got to swing again, but I jumped into the deep end as soon as the temperature got above 45 degrees. I played five rounds the last week of March, four of which were 18-holes. My scores were terrible, but I was just happy to be out playing again.

[Pelicans near the 12th green at Majestic Oaks at Lake Lawn Resort in March]

I continued playing as often as I could in April, only one time out of 15 rounds playing less than 18. Once in a while I would challenge myself by playing the blue tees. Often this was a mistake, but I did manage one respectable round from the blues at Hawk’s View, which is no small feat. In May I played even more rounds, but my game started going all over the place. I would sometimes score insanely well on one nine and horrifically on the other. 

After being humbled by the tough nine holes at Forest Point up north, my game finally turned the corner and I started posting more respectable scores on a consistent basis. I even shot my best Blackhawk (Janesville) nine ever in mid-June with a +4 using my backup Walter Hagen clubs (because my Pings were being re-gripped). During the month of June I golfed 5 or 6 days a week. But the last weekend of the month, everything fell apart.

[turkeys crossing the fairway at Atwood-Homestead in Rockton, IL]

I was playing Glen Erin and shot pretty decent on the front nine. About halfway through the back, I began shanking everything. Anyone that’s golfed with me knows that isn’t all that out of the ordinary, but I couldn’t pull myself together as my drives kept getting worse on every hole. By hole 18 I was ready to just pick up my ball and go home. Determined to avenge that round, I went back to Glen Erin the next day. Once again, I played the front decently. But I fell apart again on the back, even earlier this time. I realized that the problem was likely physical rather than mental, acknowledging that the right shoulder that had been giving me discomfort for over a year had finally caught up to me.

[damn near an eagle from 110yds in the rain; hole 1 at Glen Erin]

I took a week off from golf. This was particularly difficult for me, having been accustomed to playing at least 5 days a week. My first round back was at Hartford, a new course to me. It took me half of the front nine to shake the rust off, but once I was finally going again I shot great. The next day I was humbled badly at Geneva National, as it often can do to me...but I didn’t feel like the shoulder was an issue. I backed off a little for the rest of the year, only playing 3-4 days a week. Yes, I understand how that sounds crazy to someone that doesn’t golf everyday, but to me it was like trying to wean an addiction. 

My scores began dropping again, but I couldn’t get my shoulder soreness off of my mind. It was always there to remind me of my June implosion. By this time I was popping ibuprofen like candy, hoping that the issue wasn’t something permanent or would require surgery. I had a hard time enjoying my improved rounds, even when shooting my best 18 of the year at Brighton Dale of all places (+10).

[I drove the green on hole 4, a blind short par-4 at Towne Country Club]

Toward the end of August I played a new course to me, Timber Pointe in Poplar Grove, IL. I started pretty rough, but mid-round I found my stride and managed to par 9 straight holes. On hole 18, I shanked my drive terribly in the same fashion that I was playing at Glen Erin in June. I felt like I needed to rest the shoulder again, but I had a coupon to play Coachman’s with my Dad that expired the next day. This ended up being an awful mistake as the shoulder went out on me by the 5th hole. The rest of the round was just a slog of shanked drives and diminishing distance. That Thursday I attempted to play in league but it was more of the same problems.

I took two weeks off of golf at the beginning of September. By this time I’d made an appointment for an MRI and a Cortisone shot (which didn’t help). My first round back, I shot a great nine despite the increasing shoulder pain. That weekend I played 18 and was awful. The following week was our annual league scramble for prizes, and my partner picked me up on every one of my bad shots, leading us to win the scramble! 

[Juvenile eagle perched above the 12th tee box, Majestic Oaks at Lake Lawn]

I attempted 3 more rounds in late September and October, all of which were regrettable even after 3 weeks of rest. At this point my shoulder hurt so badly I had trouble sleeping. A second Cortisone shot (in a different muscle) and several weeks of physical therapy made some improvement for the pain. I continued massage/ultrasonic therapy for a month in January. In March I went back to the doctor to discuss the possibility of surgery, but decided that I would wait until the fall or winter to minimize disruption of my golf season. This ended up being a bad decision...or perhaps a fortunate one.

While I was kicking myself for not getting the surgery earlier in the year not knowing that I would be sheltering at home during a pandemic through much of April, the shoulder has significantly improved in the six months without swinging a golf club. I still experience a small amount of pain with some movements of my arm, but nowhere near what I was experiencing in the fall. I’ve considered taking the entire 2020 season off to allow full healing without the need for surgery (which would likely save me thousands out of pocket). I probably will continue to golf despite better judgement, but I’ll have to learn to only play no more than 2 or 3 rounds a week.

[driving range in Farmington Hills, MI during a severe thunderstorm warning]

And now my favorite part of looking back on my past golf season, STATS! It’s a coincidence that I played exactly the same number of 18-hole rounds in 2019 as I did in 2018 (77), but I played fewer 9-hole rounds. My total greens fees paid was significantly lower than 2018’s ($1742 vs $2582), mostly due to taking advantage of vouchers, coupons, and online deals, as well as playing more rounds at Lake Lawn with my membership. I’d also spent a lot less on equipment. I obviously didn’t need any new clubs after purchasing almost an entire set last year, but I did buy a new bag and a shitload of gloves when they were on sale.

[hole 16 at Towne Country Club in Edgerton, WI]

I played fewer courses in 2019, only trying out six new ones: Coachman’s, Big Foot Country Club, Hidden Greens North (Solon Springs, WI), Koshkonong Mounds, Hartford, and Timber Pointe. The only course that impressed me was Timber Pointe, but Hidden Greens North was fairly nice for an up-north 18-hole course. Koshkonong and Hartford were both decent enough that I’d play them again if the opportunity arose, but Big Foot CC is completely overrated and Coachman’s was disappointing.

[Big Foot Country Club in Fontana, WI]

My favorite courses played last year, in order, were: Morningstar, Thunderhawk, Broadlands, Hawk’s View, Glen Erin (despite the terrible rounds), Wanaki, and Brighton Dale. I couldn’t include Geneva National or Abbey Springs because I’ve never shot well at either, although they are quite gorgeous courses. My most frequently visited course (besides Lake Lawn) was Prairie Woods. 

[Morningstar in Waukesha County, WI]

The pain I experienced with my shoulder last year was nothing compared to the anguish that resulted from some of my terrible rounds, however my handicap did manage to go down throughout most of the year. I also broke personal course records at four 18-hole courses and three 9-hole courses. I’ve started to keep track of my dad’s handicap. He’s become much more excited to golf with me in the past few years as he continues to improve. And the best news of all: I didn’t break any clubs.

[I had to putt around the sprinklers on hole 14, Majestic Oaks at Lake Lawn]