#jamie/claire fanfic
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loveacrosstimes ¡ 2 months ago
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The Nurse and the Rancher
Summary: Claire, a 27-year-old nurse from NYC accidentally gets transported back to California in 1995. There she meets Jamie, a 25-year-old Scot who recently inherited his uncle's sprawling ranch in St. Helena.
Claire Randall had no cell phone, no wallet, not even a single ballpoint pen to accompany her on her trek through the dusty, humid hell that was small town, California.  
It had a name, sure, but she couldn’t remember what it was.
It wasn’t one of the handful of famous cities she’d learned about back home in New York  — Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco  — but that was the least of her worries.
In the span of eight or so hours, she’d settled into the terrifying reality that not only was she not in New York anymore, but she was somehow nearly 30 years in the past as well. 
June 8, 1995, to be exact.
The rolled-up newspaper under her arm confirmed as much, as did the genial convenience store cashier who’d given it to her for free. That small show of kindness had kept her from falling to her knees and asking God why the worst luck in the world seemed to attach itself to her. 
Traveling to the past on the day before her fifth wedding anniversary, when she and her husband, Frank, were already on icy terms. He thought she spent too much time clocking in at the neonatal unit in the hospital; she thought his nose was too far in his history books. 
Neither was wrong, and once they could see past their own deep-seeded stubbornness, they agreed to fix things. 
After spending weeks in couple’s therapy, this was supposed to be a make-or-break milestone for them. 
A new beginning. 
She’d bought a new dress and a little makeup — because it’d been ages since he’d seen her out of her scrubs — supplies to make his favorite maple cake, and the fixings for a steak dinner. 
And now, she'd vanished without a trace. 
She stopped in the middle of the barely-paved road, unfurling the paper. The number of times she’d glanced down at the date hoping that the numbers changed was mind-boggling — but it was unfailing.
June 8, 1995. 
Eight days into the sixth month of the nineteen hundred and ninety-fifth year. 
In Le Cressida , no less, according to the paper. Wherever that was. 
She pressed an anguished hand onto her forehead.
The California sun, which she’d only heard about in theory before today, beat down on her with no abandon, shellacking her curls to her forehead and plastering her scrubs to her thighs.
If she didn’t get something cold to drink soon, she was going to pass out from dehydration. 
Heeding the directions of the cashier, she turned right in front of the store, walking right down the long, uneven street, until she passed a car repair shop and a check cashing place. 
Sure enough, there was a diner across the way. 
HATTIE’S, spelled in all caps. It was supposed to serve the best chicken and waffles in town, according to the cashier. 
Not that she cared. She just needed sustenance.
And water, God, she needed water. 
Claire pushed open the old creaky doors to the diner, and was immediately enveloped with the cold, crispy breeze of air conditioning and the overwhelming smell of grease.
Perhaps her hunger was overtaking her, but it wasn’t a rancid, turn-her-stomach kind of smell.
It smelled like buttery, artery clogging goodness, swirling with the remnants of chicken and burgers and bacon, and whatever else was sizzling on the big splotchy grill back in the kitchen.
She never allowed herself to enjoy these foods, thanks to the number of patients she’d seen meet their demise from years of overindulging when she was doing her rounds in nursing school. 
But today was no ordinary day.
“Come on in, little lady, you’re letting out the AC,” said a gruff, burly man from behind the counter.   
Claire walked further into the establishment. The floors latched onto her shoes, its thin layer of grime sandwiching itself between the grooves on the bottom of her shoe. 
Inside, she grimaced, but she kept her face leveled to keep from offending the man who stood between her and a tall icy beverage. 
“Sorry about that." She pointed back towards the door. "I got distracted.”
He picked up his notepad and shrugged. “‘It’s alright. Now, what can I get for you?”
She sat her newspaper on the counter, then looked at the menu scrawled out in chalk on a board above. Endless pairings of salt, fat, and protein, slathered in more fat, but only one item made her stomach truly quake. 
“Can I get a double cheeseburger, please? Hold the pickles and extra tomatoes. And a cup of ice water. The biggest size you have.”
He wrote as she talked. “That's all?” 
Glancing back up, she considered adding a carb to the meal. Before the universe whisked her to Le Cressida, she’d been making her daily walk to Mount Sinai Hospital. She was halfway there before she realized she’d left her purse at home, but she didn’t think much of it. 
Obviously, she should’ve.
Now, she only had the $50 worth of emergency money she kept in her bra — something NYC pickpockets couldn’t swipe — to pay with. Through some measure of a miracle, it’d made it through this journey here with her. And since she didn’t know how long she’d have to stretch it, she couldn’t go overboard. 
“Yes, that’s all — thank you, uh, Danny,” she said, finally noticing his name tag. 
With a nod, he turned and headed towards the kitchen. 
As he fetched her food, Claire familiarized herself with the surroundings.
The diner walls were dyed with what looked like years of unfiltered oil and smoke residue. There was a large neon, Coca-Cola sign on the wall to the right of the large windows, across from the counter. The retro kind she’d seen in her mother’s old magazines she collected in her early 20s. On the other wall was a board full of polaroid photos she couldn’t make out from her seat. In the other corner was a jukebox that looked like it’d been plucked straight out of the ‘60s – probably why it wasn’t on.
Or maybe it was because the diner was nearly empty. Besides her, two other patrons were sitting in a booth that lined the windows — peculiar for 3:12 p.m, no matter what decade you were in. 
Then again, it wasn’t quite time for the dinner rush yet. 
Or maybe HATTIE'S just didn’t turn over much business. 
She didn’t intend to stay here long enough to figure it out. 
After she got a good meal in her belly, she was going to wander a couple of miles back to the edge of the forest where the universe had spit her out and see if she could get back home.
Glancing backward towards the door, she looked across the way. There was barely any foot traffic along the few businesses that lined the street. It made the expansive nothingness surrounding them in every direction seem more storied, more menacing. 
Just as Claire turned her attention back to the counter, Danny emerged with her order. “Here you go, little lady.” 
She whipped around with a gleam in her eyes. “Thanks, this looks amazing,” she said about the very generic-looking diner burger coated in a thin layer of grease and grill marks – even the bread. 
Yet, it wasn’t long before she was shoveling in her food with both hands, slowing only to gulp down streams of her water. The food wasn’t nearly as tasty as it smelled, and yet it was the most delicious meal she’d ever had in her life. Determined to savor every morsel, she didn’t notice Danny, propped up near the counter, watching her intently. 
“Slow down, ma’am, I don’t know the Heimlich maneuver,” he said with a guttural laugh. 
Face flaming from embarrassment, Claire slowly raised her head and reached for the napkin dispenser. “I’m sorry … I haven’t eaten in hours,” she said, wiping traces of grease from her mouth and hands. 
But he waved her away. “Oh, I’m just funnin' ya. It’s nice to see someone appreciate the cuisine.”
Claire picked up what was left of her burger. “Well, it’s amazing.” A lie and a truth. “I’ll, um, have to come this way more often.”
Though, if the universe cared about her even a little bit, this would be the last time they ever crossed paths, because she’d be able to figure out how to get out of Dodge, and back home. 
Or maybe she’d just wake up from this very bad dream or perhaps even a coma. She hadn’t completely ruled that this wasn’t an elaborate hallucination, after all.
“I certainly wouldn’t mind. It’s always nice to see a new face now and again – especially one so pretty.”
Ignoring Danny, she took another bite from her burger, not wanting to entertain even the mildest flirtation from this man. 
Even if she wasn’t married, he wasn’t her type. 
“Plus, we don’t get many medical folks in this part.”
“Oh?” She asked brow raised slightly. 
“No, the nearest hospital is about 10 miles out.” 
“Yeah, I know,” she said quickly – perhaps too quickly. “But I was doing a house call nearby...” she added, offering up that tidbit before he could find any gaps in her story. “For a homebound patient.”
The less the locals knew of her situation the better. She was already in a strange town in an unfamiliar time. The last thing she needed were people sniffing around her trying to figure out where she was from.
All she had to offer them was the truth, and in this case, it was certainly stranger than fiction. 
"Dedicated eh?” he said, the answer seeming to satisfy him.
She smiled again. “Yes. I love my work.” That part was true. “Anyway, how much was the meal?” She reached into her bra for all the money she had in the world. Her poor father, he’d roll in his grave if he knew.
“Let’s see, a burger, extra tomatoes, and ice water. $5.56.”
“Really?” She asked, unable to contain her surprise. That same meal would’ve been at least $12-15 in 2024 —  and that's without a tip.
“Yep. Surely that’s not too steep for a nurse – I hear y’all make good money.”
“No, it’s very affordable. I’m just … surprised.”
He shrugged again. “Shouldn’t be. Things are cheaper out here in the sticks.” 
“I'm learning.” 
He reached for her money and walked over to the register.
She turned her attention back to her water, downing the rest of it. Barely satiated, but feeling stronger to restart her journey. 
Behind her the door jingled, alerting her to another patron, but she was too transfixed with the temporary relief.
It wasn’t until he stood next to her at the counter that she noted his statuesque physique. A long, lean body, accented by bulging muscles,  topped with a mess of auburn curls. 
He was wearing loose-fitting jeans, gathered at the waist with a belt and a plaid button down with what looked to be cut-off sleeves.
He was a cowboy or a cosplayer. 
Was cosplaying even a thing in the 90s? Her knowledge of the decade mostly amounted to the 90s-era TV she’d grown up with and the stories from her mother’s days as a wild, uninhibited twenty-something she’d heard about from her aunt Tiffany. She couldn’t remember any mention of the costume-heavy conventions that had taken root during her lifetime.
Either way, he was undeniably handsome in a way it’d be improper to harp on as a married woman.
So she didn’t harp .
She took only a moment to familiarize herself with this deliriously handsome figure standing feet away.
He noticed her a beat later and tilted his cowboy hat towards her. 
She flashed him a meek smile, then forced her gaze forward. 
Danny returned to the counter with a conflicted look on his face. 
“I’ll be with you in just one second, Jamie,” he said to the man he was obviously familiar with. 
Jamie, as she now knew him, nodded, then took the fourth seat at the counter, leaving two empty seats between them. 
Turning back in front of her, Claire caught the man’s expression, turning her face downward into a frown. “Everything okay?” She asked, a prickly filling rooting itself in her stomach. 
And it wasn't because of the greaseball of a burger she'd scarfed down.
“It will be after you tell me where you got this money.” 
She blinked slowly, taken aback. “Umm, an ATM?
“Which one?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does when the money is counterfeit,” he said, holding the bill up into the air next to a second $50 bill he’d pulled from the register. 
Pressing her hands into the counter, Claire leaned forward.  “Are you seriously accusing me of giving you fake money?” 
“I am.”
“This is preposterous. I have a good job, and I am married to a man with a good job. I have no reason to hawk fake cash.”
“I don't need your life story, little lady. All I know is that Ulysses S. Grant’s head is the wrong size, misaligned, and the numbers are missing those little circles. Not to mention this bill says series 2024. 20, 25 – nearly 30 years into the future. So unless you rode up in town in a time machine, you’re dealing fake money, and you got it from someone who didn’t give a damn enough to make it look real.”
Eyes wide, Claire froze, the unsettling realization sinking into her bones. Of course, the money looked weird — it wasn’t yet in circulation. Thank God she hadn’t tried to pay with the new $100 bills; Danny would really crap his pants then. “Can I see it?” She asked, hoping that if she could get her hands on it, she could somehow explain away the abnormalities.
Or at the very least snatch it and make a quick escape. 
Where the hell she would flee, she didn’t know, but she knew she didn’t need another problem added to her plate.
“No … and guess what else? I’m going to have to call the Sheriff.”
“Sheriff?! Why?!” She yelled, garnering the attention of the other patrons – including the Ginger-haired man sitting two seats down. He'd already been quietly assessing the scene, but her outburst inspired a less casual observance.
"It’s the rules. We have to confiscate fake bills. He stopped, his gaze thickening as he allowed his eyes to travel from her face down her body. For the first time that day, this somewhat neutral stranger made her skin crawl. “But you look to be about his type  — bat those pretty eyelashes of yours and you’ll probably be able to get off with a warning.”
“Surely, you’re not suggesting that I use my womanly wiles to fix a problem made by your egregious accusation.”
“Egregious!? You’re the one trying to cheat out a small diner in a small town with your fake money. What happens to you is not my problem. What is, is making sure you don’t do it again.”
This was the last thing she needed.
Actually, being whisked into the past the day before her anniversary was the last thing she needed, but this certainly wasn’t helping. 
Especially now. It’d only be a matter of hours before Frank realized she was missing – that’s if her job hadn’t called him because she hadn’t shown up for work that day. She needed to figure out how to get back home before she made the local news. 
Unable to help herself, her tears built and fell hard and fast. She pressed her elbows into the counter and rested her face in her hands. “I cannot fucking believe this is my life,” she said under her breath. 
Danny turned to reach for the corded phone on the wall — another nostalgic relic from decades past she would now associate with one of the worst days of her life.  But before he could dial the Sheriff, a thick Scottish accent spoke up beside her. 
“Wait, Danny,” said the voice she quickly realized was Jamie’s. “Let me pay for the lass’ meal. It can’t be that much.”
Eyes wide, Claire shot the man a surprised glance. The other man held the phone in the air, looking between them, brows furrowed. Whoever he was, was somebody that Danny respected, as his inquiry had momentarily halted his desire for “justice.”
“I don’t know,” Danny said after a beat. “I don’t want to give an outsider the impression that it’s okay to get over on us small-town folk.”
“Just this one time.” He said, tilting his head her way. “The lass looks like she’d had a long day." Reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, he pulled out a $50 bill, dangling the money in front of the cook with a charming smile.
Danny shot her one more contemptuous glance, then returned his attention to Jamie. “And I can keep the change?” He bargained. 
“$50 for a burger and some water? You must ken me a Gomerel,” Jamie objected.
“And you must ‘ken’ me a brassy-haired Scot,” Danny returned with a laugh. “But that was your uncle, not me."
“Come on, Danny. Ye’re robbing me blind.” 
He shrugged. “That’s my price for not turning in the thief.”
Claire, who’d become more transfixed with this kind man’s thick, Scottish accent than she wanted to admit – rooted herself back in the present at his insult. “I am not a thief.”
"No, you’re just a woman handing out Party City money to hard working, small town folk.” 
Unable to help herself, Claire wound herself up to unleash an insult in kind, but Jamie interjected. "Fine, I’ll give you the $50,” Jamie replied. 
With a sigh, Danny hung the phone back up on the wall. “Fine, you got yourself a deal,” he said, taking the money from Jamie. “And I’m still keeping this,” he said, referencing Claire’s $50. 
It was the bit of cash she owned, but being absolutely broke was better than spending the night in the local jail, a fate she’d escaped thanks to this stranger. “Whatever,” she said, rising from her seat at the counter. 
Danny deposited the money into the register just as a few more people walked into the diner. More trickled in across the way. Adults, teens, kids – school and work was obviously over for the day.
And if time moved at the same pace here as it did back home, Frank would be expecting her home within a couple of hours. 
But as eager as she was to get back, she had to take care of something first. She took a step forward where the man was seated. “Thank you so much … Jamie,” she said slowly with a smile. “You didn’t have to do that, but I am so, so grateful that you did.”
He humped his shoulders. “It was nothing,” he replied in that thick, mellifluous accent of his. “But I wouldn’t suggest you try that again. People don’t take kindly to scammers in these parts.”
“I really wasn’t trying to scam anyone. I have no idea how I ended up with fake money,” she lied, though it actually wasn't a lie.
Tilting his head, he looked at her incredulously – as if he didn’t believe even an ounce of her story. “Maybe. Maybe not. Just be careful."
She nodded, unwilling to even scrounge up an explanation that he would believe, mainly because she didn’t have one – at least not on such short notice. Also, because for a moment, she got lost in the oceanic depths of his gorgeous blue eyes. 
“I will,” she said eventually. “And thanks again.” 
“It was my pleasure,” he said, a hint of a smile on his face. 
Turning back to the counter, Claire grabbed her newspaper and the rest of her ice water, then turned towards the door. 
Just as she reached the exit, he called out to her. 
“What’s your name again, lass?” 
She turned on the balls of her feet, meeting his inquiry. “What was that?”
“Yer name.”
“Oh. I’m Claire …" she said, "Claire Randall."
“It was nice to meet you, Claire. I’m Jamie. Jamie Fraser.”
**********
Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think!
It's also available on AO3!
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smashing-teacups ¡ 2 months ago
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Resistance
Canon-compliant missing scene(s), 1x03, alternating Jamie and Claire POVs.
Claire makes a valiant effort to resist her burgeoning attraction for Mr. MacTavish. Jamie does no such thing.
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She wanted him.
Preposterous as it seemed, his last few encounters with Mistress Beauchamp had proven that well enough. He’d dismissed it, those first few days, as wishful thinking — and certainly that was still part of it. But the more time they spent together, the more he watched her mouth curl in a smile or pucker with a suppressed laugh, the more his eyes caught the molten gold of hers and held, the harder it became to dismiss the notion as a young man’s folly.
The logical part of his mind knew that it would come to naught. Jamie MacTavish was nothing and no one — an outlaw, destitute, alive only by the grace of his uncle. His home was lost to him, and here at Leoch he had scarce more standing than the sassenach herself.  
He had nothing to give a wife.
Neither did Brian Dubh, said the hushed, hopeful voice in his heart. And yet…
And yet. 
It was an impasse; a stalemate. He could not offer what he did not have — but neither could he seem to sequester himself away from her. Even when he’d tried, she had sought him out, wisps of curl slipping loose in the breeze as she greeted him with a bashful smile and a picnic lunch. 
And then in the surgery, when he’d turned to leave and she’d called him back…
Christ.
He’d lusted after beautiful women before. He thought he’d known what it was to ache with need, to burn. 
But nothing could have prepared him for the sight of a woman who burned for him as well.
Keep reading...
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lilpotatjj ¡ 8 days ago
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Cait and Sam watching their own wedding night episode? Yes aaand no. We all know what these two lovebirds did...like come on who wouldn't? I escalated a wee bit. That's one of my longest Oneshots (almost 5000 words) and I'm gonna continue this with a hugh story about them. Living the forbidden lie in all his cuteness.
Warning: starts with super fluffy and lovely cuteness and turns into a soft 18+ hot mess. Sam beeing Sam and Cait beeing most of the time Cait with slightly cute shyness
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(Credits to the Gif owners)
♡Chap.1-Directing their own happy hour♡
A crazy year is over. Filming has long since been completed and the premiere of the first season is over. Several interviews have been held and the first episodes are already on TV. It's September, cool and unpleasantly rainy in LA this year and the day before the premiere of the seventh episode. It's called 'The Wedding Night'.
Cait was out and about, drenched after a conversation with one of the co-producers. It was up in the air whether there would be a second season, but the prospects looked good. She didn't think to bring an umbrella. Why in LA, where it is usually quite warm, even in September.
She ran to her car, the newspaper just over her head for protection, and got in. 'Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ... What the hell is wrong with this weather?' she cursed and was completely soaked. She quickly switched on the engine and turned up the heating. As she drove off, her mobile phone suddenly rang in its holder on the dashboard of the car. 'Hey Sam,' she said simply and focussed on the road.
'Have you been bathing?' he asked wryly, obviously making himself comfortable.
'Very funny...the weather in LA almost reminds me of home,' she was finding it difficult to speak. She was shaking a little and had trouble concentrating. 'I'll call you later if it's unfavourable?' he asked and she said no, perhaps a little too quickly. 'Ah ok' he paused for a moment. 'Tell me what's going on, I'll be fine' she said with chattering teeth and he had to smile, sitting up straight again and looking thoughtful. 'What do you think about travelling to my place and I'll tell you what's going on when you've warmed up at my place?' he asked sincerely without any ulterior motives.
Her cheeks flushed, which wasn't just because she was cold. 'All right, I'm on my way. The same hotel as always?' she asked and he replied with a quick "Yes". The rain didn't stop, on the contrary, it even got heavier. She parked the car in one of the parkingslots in front of the hotel and dashed inside as quickly as she could. Once inside, she asked at reception for the surname Heughan. The servant nodded conspicuously. 'Ah yes, Mr Heughan, he had informed me. He's in room 0410,' he said and with a very friendly smile, he pointed down one of the corridors. Cait thanked him and walked towards his room. Once there, she knocked on his door without thinking. He opened it for her and looked her up and down briefly before she simply entered his hotel room. He looked after her, slightly amused, and went into the bathroom.
When he came out again, he found her standing by the radiator, shivering slightly. He went to her and put a towel over her shoulders. She looked at him gratefully and unconsciously smiled far too sweetly. 'Thank you,' she said quietly and his eyes stayed on hers for longer than he wanted. The reason why he grabbed her towel and started playfully rubbing her hair dry. 'You should bring an umbrella next time,' he said with amusement. 'It wasn't raining when I was out' she gave him an annoyed look as he then went to the wardrobe to lend her some of his own clothes.
'Here' He held the clothes out to her wordlessly and she took them hesitantly. 'It's not going to stop raining that quickly for now. You can spend the night if you want. I'll sleep on the couch,' he said as he looked out of the window. She gave him a look of disbelief. 'Oh come on, we slept anywhere on set where there was space and time. You can sleep in the bed with me' she said dryly without thinking about it and Sam turned to her with his typical look, eyebrow raised slightly, he nodded.
She was right. Time on set was often pretty tough. Sometimes there was no time to sleep and filming often lasted well over 24 hours. Sometimes one of the props or simply a bench was a comfortable place to sleep for a short break. But now they are no longer on set, there is no one around to watch them.
'What did you want to talk about?' she asked curiously as she came out of the bathroom, dressed in one of his big hoodies. She almost sank into it and yet it looked great on her. 'Right, exactly... I wanted to ask you if you'd like to watch tomorrow's episode of Outlander with me' he said and she looked at him curiously. 'What episode was it again?' she asked, rubbing her face tiredly. 'The seventh episode,' he said, unconsciously tense. 'oh ok' came from her, benignly ignorant. 'What's the name of the episode, I'm just too tired to remember which one the last one left off at,' she said, pouring herself a sip of the wine on the table.
'The Wedding Night...' She choked and coughed for a moment. Now it dawned on her. It was that episode. She remembered all the scenes on set too well.
'Are you ok?' he asked without making any facial expressions. 'Yes... I'm sorry,' she apologised and put her glass down again for safety reasons. 'But we're going to need more wine,' she said with amusement and her grin was almost unpleasant. The mood was strange. He scrutinised her carefully while she just stared at the wine, motionless and thoughtful.
She looked slowly at him, his gaze still fixed on her. You would have thought he was burning every corner of her face. It made her nervous, but not in an unpleasant way. She felt the heat in her cheeks and stood up abruptly. 'I think I've spilt...I'll be right back' she disappeared into the bathroom in a flash. She was aware of what was happening, or so she thought, but she was still unsure. He was and is her co-partner. What would the media say, Starz or everyone involved in the big picture? She didn't realise she was breathing faster.
'Cait, are you all right?' he asked anxiously from behind the door. 'Y..yes...I'll be right back.' She splashed water on her face and then came out again. 'And you're sure we should sleep in the same bed?' he asked with raised eyebrows, almost admonishingly. 'That's fine, it's ok,' she said dryly and gave him a cheeky look. She stood in front of him. He was so tall that she always had to look up at him. 'But only if you change too...I doubt you want to sleep in those jeans...you already hated them on set' she looked at him challengingly and tugged at his collar. He enjoyed her closeness. It was clear that he had had feelings for her for some time. It was impossible not to, given the sight of her and her wonderful character. But whether she would ever be serious about him was an open question. He doesn't push her, gives her room to manoeuvre and is patient. Like a crocodile patiently waiting to snatch its prey.
He gave her a charming smile and went to his wardrobe, took out more comfortable clothes and looked at her briefly. She sat down on the couch and unconsciously inspected him as he disappeared into the bathroom. He didn't miss her gaze and when he came out again, he saw her sitting on the couch with her head resting on her hand. She grinned at him. 'Do you want to watch something or are you too tired and want to go to sleep?' he asked solidly, closing the curtains. He turned round and noticed that she already had jumped into bed. She snuggled into the big duvet. He laughed briefly and shook his head playfully. 'well...I take it you've had a full day today...want to talk?' he came round and lay down in bed too. They both looked at each other, snuggled together under a blanket, she was quiet for a moment and had to look at him. It's a completely different feeling alone without people from the set. Far away from all the other trailers, other people or cameras. There was no one here. The thought of it made her heart beat gently faster and she almost forgot to speak, let alone breathe, at the sight of him.
'Yeah...I had a call today and two other annoying appointments before that. I've been travelling all day...then there's the rain...I'm honestly glad to be with you right now' the last words came out of her innocently and unusually meekly. She is usually the type of person who says what she thinks, with consideration for the feelings of others. But it's easier with him. She can be whatever she wants, let herself go with him. He listened to her quietly and attentively.
'Sam... what is it between us?' She looked him in the eye and tried to understand the moment. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face with a wave of his hand, ignoring his own pounding heart. 'We're just lying here talking,' he replied briefly in a low voice. Jesus, can't he stop being cute for once? Struggling to concentrate from his voice and the sight of him, Cait swallowed with difficulty, unable to find an answer.
It was so quiet. Neither of them said anything. Her breathing was much faster and without thinking she snuggled up to him, hiding her face in his chest to hide her burning cheeks. She could hear his heart beating softly and realised that it was also much faster. Sam took her carefully in his arms and decided to remain silent for the time being, to savour the moment. He could smell her hair and buried his face in it a little, kissing it and noticed her smile. He did the same and had to smile. As always, no one needs to say anything to understand.
The sun's warm rays tickled Cait's cheeks and she moved slowly. A large, warm body lay close to her. You really don't need a heater when you're lying next to this 1.92m tall man. She grinned happily as she realised who it was. He was still asleep. She took this moment to observe his sleeping form. He looked so content and balanced, still holding her tightly in his arms.
His calm breathing was soothing, like a lullaby. It was nothing new, sleeping with him, hearing his breathing, feeling him against her, his embrace and yet this time it was completely different. She felt a tingling in her stomach at the mere thought of wanting to touch him. It made her nervous and she suddenly looked away from him only to look back at him again. Her gaze kept switching between his lips and the air she was trying to stare into. No Cait...you better not. Once you start, it will end badly... she thought to herself and thought back to their time on set. They often kissed away from the camera. Out of spontaneous situations to practise, of course...right? The heat rose in her face again. She tried to control her thoughts, but her heart was making it damn hard. She didn't even realise that she had come closer to him, her face close to his, her breathing as if she were climbing a mountain that was out of reach. However, with an unmistakable sound in her voice, she freed herself from his grip in a flash and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Without realising it, she was sweating. She clutched her forehead and tried to get her breathing under control. Damn Balfe, a little more self-control! Her thoughts were waging a war she was in danger of losing. He opened one eye and watched her actions. She flinched slightly as he began to stretch and looked slightly to the side in his direction. He couldn't help but grin self-consciously. She was so cute. He didn't know her to be that shy or insecure. On set, they could both let Jamie and Claire hang out, kiss or touch each other however they wanted. Nobody would have thought it was anything serious, at least that's what they both thought.
She stood up abruptly and looked nervously at him. 'I'm going to freshen up,' she said briefly and Sam let himself fall into his pillow with a smile. He wanted the time to last. To savour this precious moment, just with her...just with Cait.
He made breakfast and the rest of the day was relaxed. Except for a few little things Sam had to do this time, the day was uneventful. Cait spent the time in his room and fell asleep on his couch once again. She was far too tired from the last few days, not to mention the previous night. Snuggled up with one of Sam's woollen blankets, she slept peacefully. The blanket smelled wonderfully of him and transported her to dreamland far too quickly. When the Scotsman returned later that day, he saw her curled up on the couch. Still asleep. He put the key away and took off his shoes to go to her. With quiet steps, he stood next to her and looked at her without a word. She looked so innocent. He often did, watching her sleep. Her soft purring when she slept. Her soft smile when he always secretly snuggled up to her, just to be close to her unnoticed. He loved it.
Sam simply stood still for another moment and looked down at her thoughtfully, bent down and got very close to her face. He could feel her breath on him. The corner of his mouth twitched impatiently and he gave her a delicate kiss on her soft lips. His heart did what it wanted and almost ran away from him, but he didn't care. The kiss was short and so gentle that Cait didn't wake up, at least that's what he thought and realised he was wrong. The ball of blanket and the supposed Mrs Fraser inside it moved gently. She opened her eyes just a crack to somehow recognise what in God's name was happening. Sam was already scurrying about, unpacking a few things he'd been shopping for. There were a few bottles of wine and something to nibble on.
She sat up in a daze, her hair in a wild mess and yawned tiredly. 'What time is it?' she asked with a husky voice. 'It's already 7 pm. How long have you been asleep?' He brought two bottles of wine to the table and two glasses. 'Too long... Well, I don't think I'll fall asleep that quickly watching TV,' she said with amusement and ran her hands through her hair to fix it a little. 'Are you hungry?' he asked, unpacking a bag at the same time. It was Asian Food. 'Yes,' she replied curtly and watched the Scotsman without realising it. Her gaze was dreamy, as if she was looking at the jackpot she had won. He came over to her and set her something to eat. She had to smile. Of course he knew exactly what her favourite food was. 'Thank you,' she said and they both ate some of the food.
'Do you remember filming the episode?' he asked when he had finished eating.
'Yes, quite a lot. I'm curious how it was edited. Some days were so long and tiring,' she took a breath and looked at him. 'It was sometimes very difficult to stay relaxed and yet... You made it easy for me to shoot the more difficult scenes,' he said with a smile and looked at her in detail. She couldn't avoid his gaze and was caught up in it. She quickly picked up her wine glass and took a good sip.
Cait laughed softly as she remembered. 'Did you remember the scene when Claire said "go to bed"? God, how many times we replayed that just because our producer never liked the look in your eyes and then I said "to fuck" off camera, or so I thought? Your look afterwards was exactly what they wanted to see and it was recorded,' she laughed and took another sip. Sam did the same and poured the red wine down his throat. 'How could I forget?' his voice sounded ironic with an amused undertone. 'At least it wasn't too cold when we were naked for what felt like 24 hours,' he said and poured more wine.
She looked silently into her wine glass after his words, then raised her eyes and literally stared at him. He's like an accident... you don't want to look but you can't help but stare at him with curiosity and anticipation. Too mesmerised by his gaze, she once again couldn't get a word out. He could throw a bone now and she would run after it like a dog. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. 'The episode is about to start,' he breathed so quietly that she had to think for a moment whether she had heard him correctly.
Sam came closer to her, looked deep into her eyes and was tired of seeing her like this. She was literally begging to be touched. The Scotsman didn't hesitate a second longer and kissed her gently yet firmly. Cait was briefly surprised and yet she accepted the kiss without hesitation. As if they had kissed hundreds of times before, he brought her to him by taking her face in his hand. He stroked her cheek tenderly and was the first to break the kiss. Cait just looked at him. She could have sworn her heart was stuck one floor below. He smiled at her and she did the same, returning his smile with a blissful grin. He took the remote control without another word.
The atmosphere was strangely relaxed, but you could just feel the crackle. He switched on the TV and the episode started. She looked over at him expectantly, so he couldn't help but lean over and grab her, cuddling her right next to him against his chest. Cait took a contented breath and drank more of the wine as she savoured his closeness and warmth.
They both made comments here and there and had to laugh and shake their heads when Rupert and Angus burst in. 'I remember one of them fell badly once,' Sam laughed and they both grinned. Then came the scene where Claire asks Jamie to bed. Both the Scot and the Irishwoman watched the scene tensely and had to smile again and again. 'How many times we had to repeat that...but you did a good job,' she said contentedly to distract them from what was actually happening. Jamie grabbed Claire's breast. 'Christ, how many times you made me laugh, Cait...you kept making jokes about my breasts,' Sam said with amusement and Cait turned bright red. 'Well I was nervous as hell...we had to take our clothes off...I was afraid I'd ruin your view of naked women' she said sheepishly and he took her chin and forced her to look at him.
'my god Cait...how can you say that...' he whispered more and she looked at him nervously and slightly guiltily. Before she could say anything, Sam beat her to it. 'Your body is beautiful.' She stared at him and their gazes parted as the scene came where Jamie plopped on top of her and penetrated her. The situation couldn't have been stranger. It was weird for both of them to see each other like this. It looked a thousand times hotter on the screen than when they were both shooting that scene over and over again.
Sam grinned at Claire's sweet words when she said she gets crushed by Jamie. He noticed Cait's tension, she squeezed her legs tightly together and banished all her thoughts to the farthest corner of her brain cells. To no avail. Sam looked down at her and took the wine glass from her hand. How much had they actually had now? Both bottles of wine were empty.
Cait looked at him questioningly, but she knew the answer. Sam slowly stroked her legs and hesitantly approached her face. Her breathing increased, her lower lip quivering in response to his touch. She closed the gap and kissed him. But this time more demanding and with far less restraint. Gripped by what was on the television, Cait pressed herself closer to him and without thinking about it, she sat on his lap. He gasped briefly under the stormy kisses only to continue on her neck. She let out a sigh. A soft, pleasurable sound that he knew all too well. It had almost always driven him crazy when they gave their all during filming and he wasn't allowed to have her completely. Shooting a scene is one thing. Shooting naked is something else, but constantly filming wild sex scenes in the nude with such a beautiful woman is simply torture. With her playful but otherwise confident character, he would have liked to show how much he really liked her. He constantly had to touch her. On her breasts, her body and getting closer to areas with his face that made him want to seriously give up control of himself.
Meanwhile, no matter what was on the television, she only had eyes for her Scotsman. She looked at him dreamily, losing herself in his gaze. Everything about him is so attractive. His hair, which she now clung to in order not to lose her mind. His upper body, his beard and God damn his face, with his ice-cold blue eyes that almost robbed her of her will. She unconsciously moved onto his lap when she realised that he was already more than ready for action. Now she smirked cheekily at him, causing him to bite his lower lip. 'You little beast....now you're showing your true colours,' he said almost choking and his gaze didn't leave hers for a second. Somehow they knew it, but it was different here too. He took off her hoodie and just looked at her for a moment. As if he couldn't believe what he saw, he grabbed her breasts as if he wanted to make sure they were the same as usual. He kissed one of them gently and played around with the other.
She leant her head back with pleasure and let him do his thing. 'Sam....' she breathed and looked at him, slightly dazed. 'You too....' she whispered excitedly and took off his shirt too. She looked at him with red cheeks. It didn't matter whether it was the alcohol or Sam's fault. No matter who she drank from, she would be intoxicated by both. She touched him on the shoulder and ran her fingers down his neck to the area below his belly button, from which a few hairs flashed out. Sam's eyes were fixed on Cait with an expression as if she were made of glyphs and he was trying to decipher them.
She grabbed his belt with her hand and tried to open it, but this turned out to be difficult when sitting. He grabbed her ass and literally threw her on the couch, took off his pants only to stand completely naked in front of her. Her gaze was discreetly surprised and looked at his best piece. She was not prepared for that now. They always wore protection on set, which didn't help much when Sam had a hard-on, but it covered everything. She swallowed and for a second a shy shadow could be seen in her eyes. "We want to stay fair, my dear," he pointed to her pants and came closer to her playfully. She looked at him nervously and had to smile to cover up her nervousness.
"Do you want to continue?" he asked as a precaution and in answer she nodded and looked at him with a cheeky, innocent face. He grinned confidently and helped her undress. There she was, completely exposed with a red glow on her cheeks. They had both played through this position so many times before, but this one moment now belonged to the two of them alone.
He grabbed her by the hand to pull her up to him. Cait stood directly in front of him and looked him in the eye anything but uncertainly. She literally felt his heartbeat, as if the two were synchronously forming a unit. She took his hands and intertwined her fingers in his. "Caitriona you are so beautiful" proudly sounded in his voice and she smiled happily at him. "Just you and me" she whispered lovingly, looked at him longingly and Sam couldn't ask any more questions, because she had just answered them.
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He kissed her, longing and greedy, clawed at her ass to lift her up and faltered briefly. There was no cut, nothing that interrupted them despite the swaying and could stop the lust of both. He let himself fall back a little on the couch, with her on his lap, without even thinking about breaking the kiss.
Now nothing went according to the script. He was the director of this scene and decided how to proceed in accordance with his Irish beauty. She enjoyed every touch, every second and breathed heavier as he caressed her breasts. Cait became more impatient and looked at him almost begging. He grabbed her ass again to lift her and positioned her so that Sam could penetrate her without any problems. He smiled... She was more than ready. A groan on her part indicated that the tackle would continue as he was into her completely. The Hugh Scot didn't want to slow down, not to be careful that something unexpected happened.
Cait moved and he adjusted to her. This time he couldn't help but moan quietly. She rested her forehead on his and continued moving. Regardless of the hotel neighbors, neither of them cared how loud they were.
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He had to smile at the sight of her. She moaned subtly differently than when they were filming. It sounded the same as always, but there was a hint of honesty in the sound of her lovely voice. The sound that makes his bones tremble and underlines the pleasure he is really giving her. Flowing through the alcohol and the rush of adrenaline that they both experience and that made them both sweat, he felt how aroused she already was. He concentrated on her to give her the moment of happiness, but had great difficulty enduring it, especially with her moaning. She really deeply enjoying it.
'Sam...' damn it, he tried so hard not to lose control, but moaning his name like that almost pushed him over the edge. He gasped heavily and bit her shoulder. Finally, she felt a wave rushing deep inside her and completely flooding her. She moaned louder and let him feel how much he loved her without ever having said it.
'Sassenach!' He gasped at the same time as her and let himself fall completely as he came inside her, clawing a little too hard at her round ass. She sank exhausted onto his shoulder and gasped for air. Completely out of breath, both of them tried to understand the situation they were in.
'Everything ok...Mo Chridghe?' He hesitated at first, but he had to say it. He loved her and had no doubt that this would ever change. She was too perfect, her temperament, her way of dealing with him and her laugh. God, how much he loved her laugh. The Scotsman lovingly wrapped the wool blanket around her and let her get some air, but it was starting to make him nervous because she was still hiding into his chest. 'Is everything ok, Cait?' he asked nervously. She turned her head so that her face was directed towards the crook of his neck and he could feel her breath. He got goosebumps.
'I love you...' she whispered softly to him. Three words that could throw him off balance and almost made his heart stop. A smile twitched across his lips. 'I love you too... Sassenach...' he said lovingly and playfully and felt her smile. 'What do we tell the producers?" she asked, quite worried. 'Nothing at first. It will be difficult to hide it... at least partially. Maybe they'll let us do it and accept the unspoken facts. Filming should be easier for both of us,' he tried to explain and stroked her back. Suddenly he looked at her with a Jamie expression, as if he had traveled through time in just a second. 'Could you now...' he paused briefly.
'What?' now she looked at him confused. 'I mean we didn't use protection...' he got nervous and the Irish woman had to giggle. 'No...that's out of the question, don't worry' she said. He smiled in relief. 'We missed half the episode,' he said and she snuggled up next to him. 'It doesn't matter...we'll watch it again then" she said with a cheeky undertone and he kissed her extensively.
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adsosfraser ¡ 3 months ago
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I would recognize you in total darkness: in different bodies, in different times
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Claire wakes up in the hospital with no memory of who she or anyone is. But she is not alone.
Read on AO3
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jensky2000 ¡ 4 months ago
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In a small three block radius in Glasgow, Claire owns a flower shop and Jamie is a firefighter. Claire and Jamie are best friends and roommates. Claire is in a relationship with Frank. Jamie is happily single. Claire and Jamie's friendship is different than most, but it works for them. When things progress with her and Frank, Jamie has to admit to his real feelings before it's too late.
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lara-frasers ¡ 2 months ago
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Faith finds us
Chapter 3: A friend
These two (three!) are gradually becoming closer, setting the scene for more to come! This chapter brings: reading time, sleepy Faith, some pizza and a nice dose of softness for all 🥰
You can read it here
And you can follow me on twitter here ✨
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dianaforever ¡ 23 days ago
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Chapters: 19/? Fandom: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser Characters: Claire Beauchamp, James Fraser, Frank Randall Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Blackmail, Forbidden Love, Father-Daughter Relationship Summary:
Imagine: Claire and Jamie do not know each other until they meet in London ten years after the Rising. Claire is married, and Jamie has a daughter.
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gotham-ruaidh ¡ 4 months ago
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Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be
Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You’re The Only One Who Gets Through To Me || Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream || Chapter 20E: My Main Objective Is To Get You To Turn Your Mind Around ||| Also posted at AO3
Chapter 20F: Heaven Isn't Too Far Away
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I don't need to be a superman
As long as you will always be my biggest fan…
 -- “Heaven,” Warrant (1989) [click here to listen]
North Carolina || March 1989
“I’m sorry that I’ll miss you in L.A., but I’m really glad you’re going out there. for the rehearsals. Especially since you won’t be making it to Europe.”
Jenny Fraser Murray sighed into the phone. “I’m torn, Claire. On the one hand I’ll be so happy to have a few days away from the kids – Ian’s mom is a godsend. But on the other hand I don’t want to be away from them for even a minute.”
“Ian will be happy to have you to himself, though.”
Claire heard Jenny smile through the phone. “He said it will be like old times. When we were dating, and we’d sneak off behind the amps to make out before a gig.” She paused. “Something you and my brother probably do all the time now.”
Claire smiled. “When we’re together, yeah.”
“I was really surprised when Jamie told me you weren’t going out to L.A. Is this the longest you’ve been apart?”
“Yeah.” Claire twirled the long telephone cord around her wrist. “I’m not going to lie, Jenny, it’s been incredibly hard to be away from him for so long. But at the same time, it’s been really helpful.”
“How so?”
“Just…it gets intense with him. And as much as I love him, and as much as I know he loves me, we both needed the time to breathe.”
“I hear you. So what have you been up to this week?”
Claire leaned back in her chair. “There’s a clinic in town – I got in touch with them right after we moved in, and I’ve been going in every day to volunteer. Just a few hours, helping out with some of the walk-in patients. Cuts, burns, broken bones – lighter stuff.”
“Sorry. One sec.” Jenny’s voice was muffled over the phone, but Claire could still understand the words Maggie and share and your brother. Clearly the Murray kids were giving their mom a run for her money today.
“That sounds like fun, Claire. Or your idea of fun, anyway.”
“It feels so good to be a doctor again, Jenny. It’s a far cry from surgery, but – ”
“But it’s something. Something you’re good at, that you enjoy. And it’s something that’s all yours.”
“Exactly. When we get back from Europe, I want to do something more permanent at the clinic. I spoke to the woman who runs it – they’re definitely open to it. I told them everything about my past, and my license – they’re willing to work with me.”
“That’s awesome.” The line clicked. “Ah – Claire, I’ve been waiting for Ian all morning. This is probably him. I’ll call you later, OK?”
“OK. Say hello to him and the kids for me. Talk you soon.”
“Take care of yourself, sister.”
Jenny hung up.
Claire glowed a bit. Glanced up at the clock on the wall, and crossed the kitchen to make some tea.
Ten minutes later, snug on the couch that was one of the only pieces of furniture Jamie had shipped from his old house in LA, Claire dialed a 212 number on the touch-tone phone, set the receiver on the arm of the couch, and pressed the speakerphone button.
“Dr. Germain’s office. Jeanne speaking.”
“Hi Jeanne – it’s Claire.”
“Hello, Claire! Right on time, as always. I’ll transfer you over.”
A few clicks on the line, and then –
“Good afternoon, Claire!” Raymond’s voice boomed through the telephone. “Did you make it to the clinic after we spoke this morning?”
“I did!” She sipped her tea, tucking bare feet under her folded legs. “Three hours have never flown by so fast.”
“That’s wonderful. Are you still open to what I suggested in our session this morning?”
“I am. He’s not on yet, is he?”
This was the second week that Jamie, Claire, and Raymond had held their daily sessions – via telephone while Claire was home in North Carolina, Jamie was with the band in Los Angeles, and Raymond at his office in New York. Raymond had recommended they start meeting during Jamie and Claire’s time away from each other – and to help them all get comfortable working together before the Europe tour kicked off in a few weeks.
Speaking over the telephone was not as ideal as being in person – but it helped them all get into the new routine. Raymond met individually with Jamie and Claire each morning, followed by a group session in the afternoon. Claire and Jamie spoke with each other outside of their time with Raymond, of course – Claire called Jamie’s hotel room as his wake up call every morning, he spoke with her before bed every night – but the conversations with Raymond were different. Focusing on topics that were deeper than Jamie telling Claire about rehearsals or meetings with the label, and Claire telling Jamie about a patient’s antics at the clinic or how she had finally gotten around to staining the bedside table they’d picked up at a garage sale.
Raymond had approached working together in a very pragmatic way. He struck a balance between getting to know one another and probing deeper on certain topics – after all, there were many things that Jamie and Claire still didn’t know about each other. But there was no timetable – Raymond insisted they work at their own pace, because the real work would happen once they were in Europe.
Claire and Jamie actually looked forward to their time with Raymond. It helped them focus on themselves, and on each other, in a new and refreshing way. It bridged the thousands of miles between them, during their time away from each other. And having that separation – together with the telephone, and not needing to look at each other to speak – was indeed a good opportunity to explore some topics.
“I’m here. Hi, Claire.”
“Jamie,” she smiled. “Where are you?”
“I’m at the label’s office. Colum dragged me here to meet with the suits. I said yes, as long as I could get lunch delivered and an office for an hour. So excuse me if you hear some chewing.”
“What’s for lunch?” Raymond’s voice crackled through the line.
“In-N-Out. My favorite, a double double with a chocolate shake. Claire, the more I’m here, the more I don’t miss being in L.A. But this…this I miss.”
“Well, as your doctor,” she teased, “I’m also grateful for your arteries that we don’t eat that kind of food at home.”
Jamie snorted. “So what did you do at the clinic today?”
“Splinted a broken thumb and stitched up a gash on a little boy’s head.”
“You sound like you’re smiling. I love that it makes you happy, but I’ll never understand why.”
“If I may,” Raymond interjected, “there’s a little more to it than making Claire happy. She and I explored that this morning.”
“Yeah.” Claire sipped her tea. “You’re right, Jamie – it does make me happy. It makes me happy because I enjoy doing it. But more than that, it gives me a sense of purpose. I’m helping people, I’m making a difference.”
“And?” Raymond prodded gently.
Claire pursed her lips. “And, it’s something that’s only mine.”
The line was silent for a long moment.
“Jamie?” she asked gently.
“You mean, something that’s separate from our life together, Claire?”
“Jamie,” Raymond responded, “if you’re thinking that this is something meant to replace you, or any aspect of your relationship…trust me when I say it’s not. When Claire and I spoke about this earlier today, she made it clear that that’s certainly not the case. It’s a way for her to build her own identity, as Dr. Claire Fraser. Because she’s left behind who Dr. Claire Beauchamp was – the surgeon and pill addict. And she’s also built an identity as Claire Fraser – wife to Jamie Fraser.”
“And I love being Claire Fraser, Jamie. I do. God, I wish I could hold your hand right now.” She sighed. “But I need to find out who Dr. Claire Fraser is. In my time at the clinic, I’ve started doing that. And I’m still tied to you. I wear your letter and your ring on my hand, and your name on my driver’s license and my heart. This is…just…more than all of that. There’s room for more.”
Still Jamie remained silent. Claire’s heart began to race.
But Raymond let the silence stretch.
“Jamie…” he finally interjected after a while. “Do you want Claire to keep exploring this side of who she is? Who she could be?”
“Of course,” Jamie replied instantly. “I want nothing more than for Claire to be happy, and for her to be who she’s meant to be. She’s meant to be a doctor. She’s known that since she was a little girl, and that’s so awesome she knows that about herself. I still don’t know who I want to be.” He paused, chewing. “And I know that she’s also meant to be with me, to be my wife. That’s another part of who she is. Am I right, Claire? I’m not off base?”
“You’re right,” she said softly.
“OK. So – I know that she’s a doctor, and she’s my wife. I also know that there’s a huge part of her, that she hasn’t been able to grow for the entire time we’ve known each other. We’ve focused so much on our…our love, and our sobriety, and my music. But now I see that that’s been at the expense of other things. Like, her being a doctor. And I honestly feel kind of terrible that while I’ve been recording new music and touring and performing and dealing with my own shit, that’s all taken over and hasn’t given her the space to explore and grow.”
“That’s one way to look at it, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was so focused, and Claire pictured him scribbling in his notebook. “But you can’t beat yourself up over it. Does what Jamie said, resonate with you, Claire?”
She rested her head on her arms, folded on the arm of the couch. “It does and it doesn’t, Raymond. Yes, I stepped away from medicine while I was getting clean, and then it was more important to me to figure out how to be with Jamie, and then get used to life on the road, and focus on my marriage. So I decided to push medicine to the background. To support Jamie in the way he needed, the last tour. I made that choice. Jamie didn’t force it on me – I would have said something if it wasn’t what I wanted. And now, I’m choosing to grow this side of myself again.”
“I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t support anything you want to do, Claire,” Jamie said softly.
“I don’t ever even think of that, Jamie. And if I did, I’d tell you.”
“I hope you would. I wouldn’t ever want that to be a misunderstanding between us. I will support whatever you want to do, you know that, right?”
“That’s a good segue way,” Raymond spoke softly.
Claire cleared her throat. “I’m glad you’re with Colum today, Jamie, because I’d like you to ask him something for me, for the tour.”
“Okay…he already agreed to have a doctor on standby, you know. If we get pregnant.”
“I know. I love that you did that for us, Jamie. But this is something new. When we’re in Europe, I’d like to find a way to volunteer at local clinics wherever we are. To spend time doing that in every city. I know that it won’t always be possible, of course – but I want to give back, when I’m on the road. I don’t want to just stop when we leave North Carolina – I want to keep going. I want to keep exploring this side of myself. And I know that everywhere we go, there will be people who need my help.”
“I would love for you to do that, Claire.” She could see him grinning. “God I wish I could hold you right now, so tight. I want you to do this. This is fucking awesome.”
She swallowed. “I miss you so much, Jamie. I love you, and I love being with you, and I can’t wait to be with you on tour. But I need to have something consistent that’s my own. I can’t be with you all of the time. And this helps me to do that.”
“Fuck yeah. I want this for you. Think of how cool it will be.”
“Yeah!” she grinned ear to ear. “And even if I’m pregnant, I can still do it. For a time, anyway.”
“I’ll speak to Colum about it today. The label or the local promoters have got to have connections. And I don’t want there to be any publicity. I don’t want people to think you’re doing this for the PR.”
“And you’d be OK, Jamie, with Claire being away from you during the day?”
“Yeah, Doc. Um…being here in LA without her, I’m more comfortable saying that now.”
“Versus before you left?”
“Yeah. I – Claire, I love you so much, but we were spending too much time together. It was…suffocating.” He paused, clearly uncomfortable with silence on the line. “Baby, talk to me. Fuck, I hate that I can’t see you. Talk to me. Does that make sense to you, what I said?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I get it, Jamie. I love you so much. I want to be with you all the time, but it’s not healthy.”
“Raymond, does that make sense?” Jamie’s voice was rushed, almost panicked. “Am I making sense? That I want to be with Claire all the time but I know that’s not a good thing?”
“It does, Jamie, and you are. You didn’t mention this to me before – is this something you’re only realizing now, in this conversation?”
“Umm…yes and no. I mean, I miss Claire so much right now that it actually hurts. But it’s been so fucking great to be here with the band. Angus’ girlfriends are out of town, so we’ve been spending a lot of time together, just me and Ian and Angus. And Colum, too. It’s been so much fun. I’ve been so busy. Almost too busy to think of anything else.”
“So – those fears we talked about during my visit. That without Claire beside you, you’d somehow fall back into addiction. That you needed her as your anchor, your constant reminder to stay sober. Do you still feel that way?”
“A little bit. But it’s not a big fear front and center every moment of the day. I mean, it sucks to come back to an empty hotel room, and it’s hard for me to sleep alone, but I know that’s temporary. And, I know that on the Europe tour I’ll be very busy during the day, probably more than I was the last tour. So even if Claire was with me all those hours, it’s not like I could really do anything with her during that time. I’ll be busy, and it’s not fair to her to just sit around without me. She can use that time more productively. Like volunteering at local clinics.”
“Good. I know that it was really difficult for you to fly out there on your own, and I’m glad you called me before you left for the trip, too, because I think we’ll all agree that you staved off a panic attack by doing that. But now that you’re there, do you understand why I had recommended you spend some time apart?”
“Yeah. Claire, did you understand from the beginning?”
“I did. But that doesn’t matter, Jamie. What matters now is that you understand. And that we have a new plan for Europe.”
“I love you so fucking much, Claire. I need you, baby. I can’t wait to see you again.”
She blew a kiss through the phone.
Jamie coughed. “Um, Claire? I need to tell you something.”
“Are you all right?” Raymond cautiously asked, after about thirty seconds of silence on the line.
“Um…yeah. I got another tattoo.”
“O..kay…” Claire replied.
“Was this planned, or impulse?” Raymond asked gently.
“Um…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I knew what I wanted, but I decided a bit last minute.”
“I see.” Claire spoke slowly. “What is it, and where is it?”
“It’s the outline of the state of North Carolina. On my left arm.”
Claire couldn’t help but smile. “Where? In that space between the koi fish and your mom’s name?”
Raymond chuckled. “The two of you, I swear.”
Jamie laughed. Free. “Yeah, Claire. I don’t even want to know how you guessed that.”
“What can I say,” she laughed. “The perks of being a rock star’s personal physician.”
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ladyviolethummingbird ¡ 5 months ago
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The Gloaming
An Outlander / Jane Eyre crossover fic
Catch up on chapters 1-11 here
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Chapter 11: All or Nothing
Too scared to breathe, Jamie awaited Claire’s verdict. As she observed him on bended knee, her head titled slightly to the side, brow furrowing and then releasing.
“Marriage? Do you really mean it?”
“I know I’ve nothing to offer, but if you’d let me I’d care for you and Fergus, and treat him as my own. I’d support you to be the person you were always meant to be and make sure you knew every day how cherished you were. I love you in so many ways Claire. Will you be my wife?”
Heart beats passed like hours as his words hung in the air. Unexpected — even to him — as the proposal had been, he’d meant every word. His love for Claire was all consuming and he knew down to his bones that she was the one for him. Perhaps it was just a kiss to her, but for Jamie anything less than marriage was never going to be enough. It was all or nothing from here and whatever her response, it would change his life forever.
“I love you too. I would be honoured to marry you”
With a loud whoosh the air left Jamie’s lungs. Struggling to comprehend her words, he’d been so expectant of a rejection that he had no idea what to do next. She said yes.
“Are ye really sure?”
_______________________
Continue reading here
Thank you so much to everyone that’s reading this, it means so much. Hope you enjoy 😊
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christiwhitson ¡ 7 months ago
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“Was it how ye thought it would be?” he asked quietly, and Claire returned his lazy smile.
“It was better. Intense and… consuming.”
“Aye. But I didna ken if that was because of the magic or if everyone felt that way.”
“I don’t know.” She hummed thoughtfully. “The few times I heard my schoolmates discussing it, their accounts never sounded this… profound.”
“I was afraid it would hurt you,” he admitted, watching her expression carefully.
“If it did, it passed so quickly I scarcely noticed.”
Jamie relaxed and resumed his study of her body for a minute or two before another question crossed his mind.
“Is it normal to do it face to face like that? I grew up on a farm, so I always just assumed…”
“Um… People can do it that way too. And a number of other ways, from what I’ve heard,” she replied, clearly struggling not to laugh.
“Oh, aye?” He eyed her with interest and leaned in to taste the skin just beneath her ear. “Perhaps we’ll try a few… And maybe invent some new ones.”
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liusaidh-writing ¡ 1 month ago
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Hi, just stopping in to say that I may not be posting at the moment, but I am writing!!! Working on something I HOPE to hold off on posting til it's completed. We will see....!
Here's a tiny (unedited) piece of it.
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The stream was beautiful, just as she'd hoped; clear water took a meandering path down the rolling hill, scattered with lily pads, stepping stones, all glistening in the afternoon sun. It was considerably warmer than when she's first arrived, though Claire shivered anyway.
Tightening the sash on her overcoat, Claire stood at the water's edge. The air was smoky, no doubt.coming from the chimneys in the main house. The fires burned all winter, it seemed.
Sitting back on her heels, Claire stuck the fingertips of one hand into the water, breaking the stillness. Her reflection swam before her as she let her mind wander to her work. It was all she had to occupy herself, anyway.
More clean linen for the cabinet; I need more morphine, and I need to tell someone that the flu in the boy's room seems to need cleaning...
Swirling her fingers, she felt the pain of the icy water. It felt good though, reminded her where she was.
I need some aloe or.. or--
Her thoughts were broken by the sound of splashing water just down the stream. Looking up, she saw him: the red-headed man she'd seen at dinner her first night. Today, he wore nothing but a pair of trousers. His sinewy form wasn't surprising, exactly, but she lost her balance all the same.
Laying face-first in the cold water, she pushed herself up on her hands, sputtering and swearing. Claire jumped when she felt his hands on her arms, urging her up with a gentle pull.
"Are you all right, Miss..uh...?"
Getting back on her feet was no easy task, but the man gripped her hands and she was grateful for the help. Her dress now weighed more than she did, she was certain. He still held her as she faced him, worry etching his features.
Claire involuntarily flinched as one of his hands went to her face, gingerly touching a spot on her forehead.
"it might bruise, but I don't think there will be a bump," he said, half to himself.
"I'm quite all right, thank you. Just took a little fall!" Claire laughed half-heartedly, trying to pull herself away. "You're-"
She stopped herself, nearly blurting out what she's been told about him - as if he wasn't aware of the talk. She didn't now see what the fuss was about, however.
At the moment, he seemed like a perfect gentleman...
"James Fraser, Miss." He said, giving a short nod. "You're sure you're all right to walk back? I can take you, if you'd like."
"No,no. It's okay, I'll manage."
Claire wanted to say more; his kind eyes invited it. He wore a lopsided smile and as he finally released her, he gestured to her head once more.
"May want to ice that a bit...just in case."
Saying goodbye, Claire looked back as he walked on downstream, the urge to call back to him almost too great.
She didn't know what she'd say if she did; afterwards, she'd keep replaying the whole thing over and over in her mind. The image of him would not leave her.
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smashing-teacups ¡ 2 months ago
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My very dear friend (who is so grumpy that J&C hijacked her brain again when she wanted a break 🤣) @theawkwardterrier tagged me in an invite to share a section of one of my WIPs. So hey, how about a peek at an upcoming chapter of Atonement? 👀
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In the second month, they began their respective job searches in earnest.
On that particular front, Claire had an undeniable advantage: there was a terrible nursing shortage throughout the UK, and more job postings than she knew what to do with. She had enough experience to be accepted at practically every bedside position, and so she had the ability to be selective.
A very fortunate state to find herself in, she found out rather quickly, as there were a number of positions that… well, positions she wasn’t sure she would be best suited for anymore.
Wound care, for example, was definitely out. Just reading the vague clinical expectations under the first post made her snap her laptop shut, her skin chilled and mind numb. She held Jamie from behind later that night, tears soaking her pillow as she traced the scars that had once been open flesh. The memories were as vivid as if she were living them all over again; she could see the snake of saturated pink gauze she’d pulled out of his back by the meter, watch her gloved hand depress a syringe of morphine into his IV, hear her own murmurs of reassurance as she reached wrist-deep into the cavernous wounds to begin packing them again…
So, no. Nothing with wound care.
Anything on a neurology floor was likewise out of the question. The prospect of monitoring an EEG took her right back to the endless days and nights when those incomprehensible squiggling lines were burned into her retinas, watching for any change that might signify a seizure. The ICUs in general were out for that same reason. Just the sounds alone — the non-stop beeping of monitors and IVs, the whoosh of the ventilator and hiss of suction equipment—
She couldn’t.
Her damned glass face as she scrolled the job boards must have told her husband far more than she ever would have said aloud; it didn’t take long before she woke to find a folded newspaper on the kitchen table alongside her morning coffee. Circled once, with a question mark beside it, was an advertisement from a local primary care office in town, seeking a clinic nurse.
Claire looked over the top of the paper to find Jamie watching her apprehensively, as though unsure if he’d overstepped. The moment she caught his eye, he dropped his gaze and blew on his steaming coffee. “It’d be quieter than ye’re used to,” he said around a careful sip, “but somethin’ to consider, mebbe.”
Softening with tenderness, she reached for his hand across the table. “No, it’s—it’s a good thought. Thank you. Maybe I need the quiet, I don’t know.” With a sigh, she smoothed her free hand over her face and back into her hair. “That’s just it, I don’t… I don’t know what it is I want any more.” Peering up at her husband through her lashes, she admitted with a self-deprecating smile, “Suppose I’ve just been hoping I’ll know it when I see it.”
Returning the smile so that his soft morning eyes crinkled with it, Jamie brought her knuckles to his lips. “I’m sure you will. The right job’ll find ye when it’s meant to, Sassenach. I know it.”
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lilpotatjj ¡ 7 days ago
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Just rewatching OL and look what I just found🧐 I'm sure that's not JC but SC. The way Sam looks at her and you can clearly see Caits smile. Wonder what they did sideways the camera😆😏 tried to edit it but my skills are below -1😂
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temporaljourney ¡ 2 months ago
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Hello hello, my beautiful readers. Here I am again with a new chapter. Enjoy
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jensky2000 ¡ 2 months ago
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Chapter 12 “The New Beginning”
My Dearest Readers,
Here it is...another one of my stories comes to an end.
Things I know for sure:
1. I am always mighty proud when I complete a tale. (Sometimes it takes great effort not to give up. Again, this is not my chosen profession. Imposter syndrome is real. Especially when it is not your calling.)
2. I wouldn't/ couldn't do this without you.
3. I am forever grateful for your kudos, likes, comments, and reblogs etc.
Enjoy
💗J
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lara-frasers ¡ 2 months ago
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Faith finds us
Here's chapter 2: A birthday takes place
Are you ready for clown!Jamie? 😂
You can read it here
And you can follow me on twitter here
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