#05 feb

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

no like really even without the timeline context of when it leaked Hand of God is so incredibly messed up like???? FOB's always been good at public indictments of the way they've been treated, that's like, a significant amount of their discography especially prehiatus and ESPECIALLY Cork Tree which does it very bitterly and sardonically but Hand of God feels like it takes it a step farther with "which is it, the boy who writes the songs or the boy who's in them?" because like YES there is more than one way to interpret that and I'm cool with that but it's doing a massive disservice to FOB and to Pete's writing to skim over the point within the larger whole of the song that they are one and the same. the boy who writes the songs IS the one who's in them, that's been true for most of Fall Out Boy's career. they're SUPER vulnerable in their songwriting, even when it's sarcastic and tongue in cheek, there's always a piece of truth in it. they wrote an entire fricking song about Pete's suicide attempt. the boy who writes the songs has always been the one who's in them, this isn't mutually exclusive. and Hand of God is IMMENSELY self-referential. it's literally Pete writing about himself. "who's the girl, is this truth, or is he writing fiction?" were all questions asked repeatedly on their forums and in Q&As with Pete.

"I am the worst liar I know" coming from the song that is possibly the most raw, honest draft or demo from Cork Tree — which also contains lyrics such as "we're only liars, but we're the best" (tongue in cheek turnaround of criticisms against the band) and "you only hold me up like this because you don't know who I really am" and "if you say this makes you happy then I'm not the only one lying" and "it's just a matter of time until we're all found out" and "I'll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it" (in a song that was essentially the band's mission statement, for lack of a better term) and "the record won't stop skipping and the lies just won't stop slipping and besides my reputation's on the line" (in a song that Pete himself said was way too personal to play live and has also said was the first half of a story that Hum Hallelujah, which is explicitly about his suicide attempt, later completed) and "I went to sleep a poet and woke up a fraud" (Music or the Misery is on a different edition but the point still stands) and "I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type" (in a song titled sarcastically after the medication Pete overdosed on) — is fricking insane. there's a completely unfiltered, untwisted-into-sarcasm honesty in Hand of God and even though it (rightfully, because it would have been Too Much) didn't make it onto the final album, it functions as as much of a thesis statement as Sophomore Slump does. it functions as as much of a confessional as Dark Alley. Hand of God is at the heart of Cork Tree, practically haunting it, and it isn't even on the album.

[mikeywayarchive]

Masquerade, Tampa, FL // Feb 18th 2005 // _nephilim on livejournal

[dilf-in-peril]

[lockscreenxd]

Lockscreens 6130-33

Reblog/Like if you use / save it

Please be honest

Do Not REPOST

[jacquelinemerritt]

I Am A Liar

Originally posted February 6th, 2014

So, remember how I said that my next blog post would be an analysis of films from the Disney Renaissance, and I would be comparing their successes and failings to Dreamworks’ The Prince of Egypt? Well that was a lie. Not a blatant lie, however. I do intend on my first film analysis to cover the Disney Renaissance, and I intend to publish that analysis on February 22nd.

Before I publish any film analyses however, I feel that it is important to provide a basic introduction to the film theorists and their theories that I will be referencing consistently, and to provide a very brief overview of film history in order to establish the context of the films I will be writing about. This will only be a basic introduction to these ideas, but if you are interested in learning more about film history or film theorists, I recommend watching the excellent documentary The Story of Film by the film historian Mark Cousins. This documentary provides a very insightful overview of the international history of film, and discusses in extensive detail the techniques involved in making some of the most important films of all time. As far as more specific questions regarding film history or film theorists go, feel free to ask me and I will do my best to answer.

Film history “begins” with Thomas Edison (the moving picture dates back to the 1400s with magic lanterns). Thomas Edison invented the motion picture in order to settle a bet about whether a horse’s legs touched the ground as it galloped. From there on other men blah bleh blah bleh blablebla.

I lost you didn’t I? Yeah, film history up until the 1910s is something that I find completely boring as well. There are certainly a good number of innovations in cinema before then, and the Lumiere Brothers and George Melies made very important contributions to film history. The problem is that until the 1910s, there was no one using film as a storytelling medium. Events were being recorded, and magic tricks were done through editing and cuts, but there was very little art to this type of filmmaking. As much as I respect the Lumiere Brothers and Melies for their contributions, studying them is simply uninteresting when your primary concern is film as an art.

Because of this, I’m going to skip until we come the first feature length film, D.W. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation. D.W. Griffith is the man most often credited with inventing the language of film editing, and while this is not very accurate, D.W. Griffith did make a number of contributions to cinema that cannot be overlooked. Griffith’s most important contributions can be seen in this clip from his film, Intolerance.

There’s a lot to be said about the Babylon sequence in Intolerance, but I personally feel that there is one particular shot that is the most important to understand Griffith’s contributions to film. That shot is at 1:30. It’s a six second crane shot from high above the set, shot using a wide angle lens, with hundreds of extras moving around on the set. Short films before D.W. Griffith managed to capture the emotion of small events, and tell simple and short stories, but no movie before Intolerance had managed to show a location in such a grand scale. Griffith’s film Birth of a Nation also managed to capture something incredibly important, despite its prevalent racism and bigotry: the frenzy of war.

Now, if you look at that scene from Birth of a Nation and try to compare it to Saving Private Ryan, obviously it isn’t comparable. But there’s still excitement to be found in that scene. Griffith cuts quickly, and has his actors behave frantically. He uses deep focus to paint the landscape of the Civil War. As fearful as we may be for the characters involved, the strongest feeling evoked by that scene is excitement. This battle is exciting; it’s visceral, and we’re caught in its frenzy.

There of course is so much more to be said about Griffith, and much of it has been said already and better by people with much more knowledge and experience with Griffith than me. My next post will cover the Soviet Film Theorists Sergei Eisenstein and Vsevolod Pudovkin, as well as the Kuleshov experiments and Alfred Hitchcock’s application and explanation of them.

If you liked this, consider supporting me on Patreon, or donating to my Ko-Fi.

If you liked this, consider supporting me on Patreon, or donating to my Ko-Fi.

[calochortus]

Day 36 Posing by Scouse Smurf

[ashwwa]

Feb 04-05.Sotsugyosei

jacket wiz shirt,pant,bag

male/unisex

11/2/6 swatches

High poly

design by me,jacket back pattern by lv

blender version

gamescreenshot+blender

will become public on 24.04.26

Download

[itssmean]

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 (𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒂) 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓

main masterlist

SYNOPSIS new upcoming app called ‘love alarm’ will be launched ! but it need to be tested before the official launching date, so what ifs the well known enemies— lee chanyoung and park y/n are the one that gonna be the app beta users? does the love between them gonna ring?

anton x fem reader

genre(s) + warning(s) : love alarm inspo, soulmate! au (not be centred in the first half of the story), fluff, cracks, MANY SWEARINGS, angst (if u squint?), grammatical error! , i’m trying to be funny

idols featuring ; all riize members, itzy yuna, enhypen sunoo and jungwon, newjeans hanni, AND MANY MORE CAMEOS (they across the kwangya where most of hybe,sm,jyp and also yg idols included)

status ; completed!

starts ; 26 feb 2024

ends ; 31 march 2024

taglist ; closed

note | it’s been a while since last i’ve written smau and being inactive (except for reblogging some posts) hope u guys enjoy it!

remain unhinged ☝🏻‼️ / mothers 💋🔥

track 01 ; i’ll bring all the drama

track 02 ; love alarm?

track 03 ; chemistry (failed!)

track 04 ; 119 emergency 🚨

track 05 ; soundtrack 5

track 06 ; (alpha) beta

track 07 ; we’re going to shopping 🤑

track 08 ; whatchu sayin’

track 09 ; mission (im)possible

track 10 ; ring ding dong (written)

track 11 ; in the bushes (written)

track 12 ; who’s anton rival?

track 13 ; it seems personal!

track 14 ; woof woof…

track 15 ; fight back!

track 16 ; my babies

track 17 ; which bugs??

track 18 ; does the plan goes well? (written)

track 19 ; the squads’ pov!

track 20 ; moment of truth

track 21 ; pay me!

track 22 ; the ringing goes wrong

track 23 ; the best testimony!

the end.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

"hand over my heart/ gun to my head/ I swear to God I'm through with this/ I am the worst liar I know" is actually really messing me up

[mikeywayarchive]

Before MCR’s show at the Masquerade in Tampa, FL // Feb 18th 2005 // _nephilim on livejournal

[dearly-somber]

Crush | l.mh

-> pairing. crush!minho x f!reader (ft. jisung & reader)

-> genre. s2l, pining, fluff, humor

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 1294

-> warnings. None!!

-> a/n. This was supposed to be an x jisung fic but Minho came knocking so 😪

-> collection. songfics

-> started. ???

-> fin. Dec. 21st, 2020 @ 00:12

-> edited. Mon., Feb. 19th, 2024 @ 15:05

"Y/N? Hello? Are you even listening?"

"I'm sorry, what?" You smiled awkwardly. You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jieun, staring at Lee Minho who was sitting a table away from you with his friends. He was laughing loudly at something his friend, Han Jisung, had said. You shared classes with most of Minho's friends, and you were pretty sure he was in almost all of your classes, which equalled one very disastrous distraction.

"You were staring again, weren't you?" Jieun asked, a Cheshire grin pulling at her lips.

You puffed out your cheeks, annoyed with your friend's teasing. "Shut up..."

"Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

"Because he'll reject me?” You frown incredulously.

"How would you know for sure if—"

"I'm not even going there, Eun." You shut her down immediately, frustrated with your situation. You really, and I mean really liked Minho. You didn't wanna give yourself hope, because you knew he'd never go for a girl like you. You'd much rather just admire him from afar.

"That's it, I can't do this anymore." Jieun sprung up from her chair so suddenly you didn't have enough time to grab her. She sped towards Minho's table, effectively turning your eyes into saucers.

You jumped away from your seat so quick you fell over. “Shit!”

You shut your eyes tightly, internally chanting, fuckfuckfuckfuck. You had more pressing matters, even though you were sure a hundred different people had turned their heads in your direction, including some of Minho's friends.

"—needs to tell you—” You smacked your hand over Jieun's mouth, putting her in a headlock and pulling her away from the table. You smiled awkwardly at Minho while laughing, whispering into Jieun's ear about how brutally you'd murder her after this.

"You wanted to tell me something?" Minho asked expectantly, sparing a worried glance at your arm around Jieun's neck. You ugly laughed as you let go of your friend, pushing her behind you while glancing at the roaming eyes around the cafeteria. "Uhm..."

What you hadn't realized (being occupied with not embarrassing yourself further) was the way Jisung had seen how nervous you looked from behind his friend's shoulder, recognizing some of his own anxious habits. Taking a step forward, Jisung smiled at you and Minho brightly, your brows furrowing in obvious confusion.

"Y/N wanted to know if it was alright for her to come over to the dorm so that we could study for Calculus together? I asked her to ask first because I was nervous and you know how I—"

Jisung was cut off when Minho laughed happily, unintentionally making the corners of your mouth turn up. Before he could notice you smiling, you snapped out of it and put on the most neutral expression you could.

"Yeah, of course it's fine! I don't know why you two are so nervous to ask.” Minho chuckled before ruffling his friend’s hair playfully. Jisung scrunched his nose, smiling at you afterward. You nodded, mumbling something about how you'd meet Jisung at 4pm after classes ended, mouthing thank you as you left.

You stood outside of the SKZ dorm room, where Minho and his friends stayed. They were all majoring in Music & Arts, and you knew how talented they all were. You were majoring in business, though you were hoping all of your writing classes and practice would pay off. It was one of the reasons why you liked Minho.

You haven't seen true perfection until you've seen that man dance, 'cause let me tell you—

"Y/N! Come inside, please!" Bang Chan, the supposed head of the group, said with a dimpled smile. Cute. You ducked passed him and into the dorm room with a smile. "Jisung should be down in a bit, he's just cleaning up."

"Cleaning up?" you repeated curiously, looking around the living room, dining room and kitchen in awe. How was it so clean?

"Him, Felix and Hyunjin had dance classes a couple of minutes ago,” Chan said, watching you curiously.

"I hope I'm not intruding?" You bit down on your lip anxiously.

"No! Of course not!" Chan smiled brightly, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. "If you want anything to eat we have some snacks in the fridge, or you can just get Han to order pizza or something."

"Okay, thank you..." You smiled shyly, watching Chan disappear down the hallway and into one of the rooms.

"Y/N! Hey, sorry I'm kinda late."

You turned to Jisung. "Oh, it's no prob...lem…"

Jisung’s hair was damp and disheveled, and he was wearing a now almost see-through white tank top with loose fitting sweats. His socks had a cute ducky pattern on them.

"You okay?" he asked, reminding you of a squirrel you'd seen in the park a few days ago.

"Me? Yeah, I'm great! Sorry..." You laughed awkwardly as you took a few steps towards him. "So where are we 'studying'?"

"Studying? Oh, right. I thought we could just chill in my room?"

You went a light shade of pink as you imagined yourself alone with Jisung, closing your eyes tightly to erase any dirty thoughts. "Uh, sure?"

Once you were in his room, Jisung apologized and picked up some stray pieces of clothing, throwing them onto a pile in the corner of the room. You made yourself comfortable on his bed, spreading out your books and sheets before waiting awkwardly for him to sit with you.

"You're actually going to study?" he asked in a shocked voice, eyes wide.

You looked at him with a confused expression. “What else would we do?"

"I don't know... I thought we could talk about your little crush." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Your eyes widened, ears turning pink. "What crush?"

"Your crush on Minho hyung—!"

You leaned up on your knees to slap your hand over his mouth. You pulled away almost immediately after realizing what you had done, stuttering slightly.

"Shut—shut up! Don't let the whole world know would you?" you hissed, puffing your cheeks out at the way he giggled at you.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"Oh my God you're just like Jieun," you whined, leaning back on your haunches while Jisung tried to hold back his laughter.

"Seriously though, you should tell him. He's started noticing you a lot more now."

"Really?" you asked, biting your lip hopefully.

"Yeah, of course! He kept talking about how cute you were at the cafeteria during our vocal lessons today—"

"Is he.. Is he here?" you asked nervously, voice soft and shy.

Jisung beamed at you, telling you where Minho's room was.

You stood outside of his door, staring at the photo you had saved from his Instagram (no, it was not weird). He was leaning against the palm of his hand in a denim jacket he wore often enough for you to recognize it, his lips poured as his hair curtained his right eye, hiding it from view. Such a cute, completely natural picture, and yet he looked like a model...

How?

After a moment, you lifted your hand to knock on the door, instead falling forward when the door swung open. You yelped, falling down on someone with a gentle oof.

"Oh my God, Minho, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I swear I wasn't being creepy I just—"

"It's alright, Y/N, please just uh... Stand up?"

"Right!" You scrambled to your feet, your hair falling into your face.

"Uhm..." Minho looked at you as if he was just as nervous, scratching the back of his neck. “Did you want to... Say something?"

"Uhm yeah, actually... Listen... Ireallylikeyouandidhould'vetoldyouearlierbutIwastoonervousandIreallyhopewecanbefriendsifyoudon'tlikemeback—“

"Y/N!"

You looked at him anxiously, shutting your eyes tightly before cracking them open. "Yes?"

"I like you too..."

"Well, shit."

[lockscreenxd]

Lockscreens 6124-26

Reblog/Like if you use / save it

Please be honest

Do Not REPOST

[nsfhetalia]

Hetalia Event Calendar 2024

January

⭐ Australia' Birthday (01/01)

⭐ Monaco' Birthday (08/01)

⭐ Prussia' Birthday (18/01)

➡️ @asakikuweek2024 (24th - 31st)

➡️ @hwsevents (HWS Redesign Week: January 25th - February 7th)

February

⭐ Holy Roman Empire' Birthday (02/02)

➡️ @royalredbrosweek (4th - 11th)

⭐ Japan' Birthday (11/02)

⭐ Spain's Birthday (12/02)

⭐ Lithuania' Birthday (16/02)

⭐ Estonia' Birthday (24/02)

➡️ @fuchyeahaphestonia (APH Estonia Week: Feb. 25th - Mar. 2nd)

⭐ Egypt' Birthday (28/02)

March

➡️ @hwsevents (Mythtalia: 1st - 31st)

⭐ Bulgaria' Birthday (03/03)

⭐ Eyebrow day (03/03)

➡️ @geritaweek (16th - 22th)

⭐ South Italy and North Italy' Birthday (17/03)

➡️ @itararepairweek (17th - 23th)

⭐ Greece' Birthday (25/03)

April

➡️ @hongiceweek (1st - 7th)

💖💖 Fruk Day (08/04) 💖💖

➡️ @spaus-week (20th - 26th)

⭐ Hutt River' Birthday (21/04)

⭐ England' Birthday (23/04)

May

➡️ @engportevents (EngPort week: 8th - 15th)

➡️ @nedcanweek (12th - 19th)

➡️ @scotengweek (13th - 19th)

⭐ Norway' Birthday (17/05)

➡️ @hetalia-canukr-week (17th - 19th)

⭐ Cuba' Birthday (20/05)

June

➡️ @polpruweek (3rd - 9th)

➡️ @hetalia-aushun-week (3rd - 9th) ⭐ Denmark' Birthday (05/06)

⭐ Sweden' Birthday (06/06)

⭐ Portugal' Birthday (10/06)

⭐ Philippines' Birthday (12/06)

⭐ Iceland' Birthday (17/06)

➡️ @hetaberia-week (24th - 30th)

➡️ @lietcanweek24 (24th - 28th)

⭐ Seychelles' Birthday (29/06)

➡️ @amechuweek (June 30th - July 6th)

July

⭐ Canada and Hong Kong' Birthday (01/07)

➡️ @hwsamecanweek (1st - 7th)

➡️ @hwsfemmephenomenon (Digital Zine: Contribution applications open, from 1st to 31th)

➡️ @spamano-week (3rd - 9th)

⭐ America' Birthday (04/07)

➡️ @hwsasiaweek (8th - 17th)

⭐ Liechtenstein' Birthday (12/07)

⭐ France' Birthday (14/07)

➡️ @doomspiral (RusPru Micro-week event: 18th - 20th)

⭐ Belgium' Birthday (21/07)

➡️ @summertalia-event (21th - 27th)

⭐ Netherlands' Birthday (26/07)

➡️ @aphcardverse-week (Jul. 28th - Aug. 3rd)

August

⭐ Switzerland' Birthday (01/08)

➡️ @usukweek (5th - 11th)

➡️ @hetalia-rarepairweek (11th - 17th)

⭐ South Korea' Birthday (15/08)

💖💖 Rusame' day (16/08) 💖💖

➡️ @germanbrosweek (18th - 24th)

⭐ Hungary' Birthday (20/08)

⭐ Ukraine' Birthday (24/08)

⭐ Belarus' Birthday (25/08)

⭐ Moldova' Birthday (27/08)

September

⭐ Vietnam' Birthday (02/09)

⭐ Sealand' Birthday (02/09)

➡️ @nedportweek (22th - 28th)

💖💖 Nedport' Day (25/09) 💖💖

October

⭐ China' Birthday (01/10)

⭐ Germany' Birthday (03/10)

⭐ Portugal' Birthday (05/10)

➡️ @gerpru-week (6th - 12th)

➡️ @gereng-week (5th - 12th)

➡️ @hwsevents (PrUKtober: 10th - 17th)

➡️ @hetaween-event (22th - 31st)

💖💖 Hetalia' Day (24/10) 💖💖

⭐ Taiwan' Birthday (25/10)

➡️ @hetahorrorweek (25th - 31st)

⭐ Austria' Birthday (26/10)

⭐ Turkey' Birthday (29/10)

➡️ @gurotalia-week (October 31st - November 6th)

November

➡️ @hetafashionweek (10th - 16th)

⭐ Poland' Birthday (11/11)

⭐ Wy' Birthday (15/11)

⭐ Latvia' Birthday (18/11)

December

➡️ @hetalia-advent-calender (1st - 25th)

⭐ Romania' Birthday (01/12)

➡️ @nordictalia-week (1st - 7th)

⭐ Thailand' Birthday (05/12)

⭐ Finland' Birthday (06/12)

⭐ Macau' Birthday (21/12)

⭐ Russia' Birthday (30/12)

_______

Upcoming~

➡️ @lietpruweek (January 6th - 12th, 2025)

_______

PS. I'm not sure those Birthday' dates are correct, also there are many missing. Please correct me if there is anything wrong or if something is missing. Thank you 😋

Also, also...

Let me recommend:

@heta-on-the-books

@hetaliahappenings

@hwsevents

@hetaliacalendar

To help you by rebloging/boosting your event/ or other project.

[zendadya]

ZENDAYA "Dune: Part Two" press tour in Mexico (Feb 05, 2024)

[sunsuns-babie]

If I Get My Way {K.SUNOO x F!READER}

IN WHICH: Kim Seonwoo aka Sunoo is a Sophomore at Decelis University and has a crush on the pretty Music Education Major Y/n Marsh. Seems like a match made in heaven since he’s also a Music Education Major and has had a crush on her since Freshman year when he met her at orientation… well sort of. He’s a little delusional about her but that’s okay, right? When finally given the opportunity to get to know her and potentially date her some weird things start happening that Sunoo doesn’t quite understand… which leads to the postponement of his grand plan to confess his feelings for Y/n. At the end of the day does he get the girl or does he miss out and think of what could’ve been?

ALSO IN WHICH: Sunoo and Y/n’s friends also have their own storylines and side quest relationships happening simultaneously with theirs.

PAIRING: Kim Sunoo x !Female Reader (ft. Mystery Character 1 & Mystery Character 2)

GENRE: Non-Idol AU, College/University AU, SMAU

WARNING: Swearing, sexual jokes/comments, allusion to sexual activity, attempts at humor (I don’t think I’m funny but I’m trying), jokes about murder/killing oneself, and Danielle from NewJeans as the face claim.

FEATURING: Lee Heeseung (EN—), Jay Park (EN—), Jake Sim (EN—), Park Sunghoon (EN—), Yang Jungwon (EN—), NI-KI (EN—), Jang Wonyoung (IVE), Shin Ryujin (ITZY), Choi Yeonjun (TXT), Choi Soobin (TXT), Choi Beomgyu (TXT), Karina (aespa), NingNing (aespa), Huh Yunjin (LE SSERAFIM), Yoon Keeho (P1HARMONY), Anton Lee (riize), Hwang Yeji (ITZY), and mentions of various other idols.

status: temporarily put on hiatus

start: Feb. 12, 2024

end:

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and is in no way a real depiction of the idols portrayed in it and has no actual connection to their real world selves. I don’t know them I’m just using their image for characters in a fictional story.

A/N: This is my first SMAU ever I’ve written stories on other platforms in the past and kind of stopped to be a reader for awhile but I recently got an idea for a story and wanted to try and make it a reality. So please forgive me if it’s bad I’ll try my best to make it enjoyable for you. But I barely know how to work Tumblr as a creator or writer so forgive me if this is all over the place 😭😭😭.

A/N 2: If you want to be added to the taglist for this SMAU you can comment on this post or which ever chapter you see first!

INCOMING MESSAGES…

PROFILES: 2 HOT 4 U LONER BOYS CLUB (ft. 2 Baddies)

01: bitch boy

02: you’re not my mom

03: DDEONU GOOD!!!

03.5: bonus chapter 1

04: we going on a date 🤪

04.5: bonus chapter 2

05: free food + written part (755 wrds)

06: blasting Olivia Rodrigo traitor

07: Love changes a man ❤️❤️

07.5: bonus chapter 3

08: keeho is a furry confirmed ✅

08.5: bonus chapter 4 [written part] (1,304 wrds)

09: KILLING MYSELF [POSTPONED]

10: tba….

10.5: bonus chapter 5

11: tba…

12: tba…

13: tba…

14: tba…

15: tba…

16: tba…

17: tba…

18: tba…

19: tba…

20: tba…

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

04 new dawn. where you learn something surprising about ushijima

<< 03 shining light. | >> 05 saturn i.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: i want ushijima to give me his jacket too, CRYING,,, side note i’m going be to busy in feb so updates will be posted every 2 weeks. thanks for reading! - ave word count: 1.3k warnings: mentions of past trauma terms: gap moe -- when someone has a hidden side that contradicts their usual personality/behavior

march, first year

ever since ushijima and tendo joined you and semi at your home back during the first semester, they have remained a constant presence at your study sessions. the four of you have become an inseparable group of friends, even though you stick out like a sore thumb between the tall volleyball players. you were considered tall among your female classmates, but next to the three of them? just a midget.

“i’m an adopted introvert,” you would explain when classmates ask you about how you became close friends with the ushijima wakatoshi and the oddball tendo satori and the pretty setter semi eita. 

the only complaint you have are the sidetracks from the actual point of said sessions, studying. with tendo and semi arguing over literally everything, it is difficult to stay on track. even ushijima adds in a quip to the banters every now and then, his straight-faced delivery of the infrequent lines making them even funnier. 

that is not to say you did not enjoy the privilege of learning about the different sides of the boys compared to how they were on court. no, you fully delighted in finding out random facts about the intimidating players that other people are not privy to. like how they had gotten you a plushie for your birthday, but it seems like they were more attached to it than you, by the way they greet the plushie whenever they are over at your house. 

today, with your parents being home, you all ended up studying in ushijima and tendo’s shared dorm room, all sprawled out in various states around the coffee table that sits in the middle of the simple room. 

“that’s it,” you announce, notebook flopping down on your face as you laid on the floor. “the words are no longer registering in my brain.”

“maybe if you sleep with the book under your pillow tonight, the knowledge will diffuse into your brain by tomorrow for the exam.” semi jokes from across the room in a similar state of dishevel as the four of you try your best to study for the last exam week of the school year on a sunday afternoon turned into night. 

“would that actually work?” 

“what do you think?” 

“maybe if i take a quick nap, then continue studying” you mumble more to yourself as you turn on your stomach, dropping your face on the floor unceremoniously.

“miyamura-san, it’s almost time for curfew, if you don’t go home soon, you will have to spend the night in the dorms.” ushijima kneels before you, picking up the book that you were covering your head with. 

you pick your head up to look at the boy solemnly, lips set in a pout. “so what? i am so fucked for the exam tomorrow, ushijima” you wonder how studying was going for him.

“you will be fine.” he puts a hand on your head in a gesture to comfort you. 

“you don’t know that!”

“in any case, having a good night’s rest is more important than any studying now.”

“you know, he’s technically right, school is just like volleyball, and ushijima-san is an expert at that.” tendo agrees with ushijima.

you sigh. “help me up then,” fingers wiggling in the air as you wait for ushijima to pull you upright.

if you were not in autopilot mode as you picked your things up and stuffed them in your backpack, you would have heard tendo’s teasing “semi, help me up” pointed at ushijima, followed by an instant flat “no” from your best friend. but your brain was turned off for the night as you pull your shoes on to go home.

“see you later,” ushijima throws to the two boys before he clicks the door shut behind him, gesturing to you. “shall we?”

for the most part, you two walk in comfortable silence under the summer moon. that is, until the neighborhood’s stray cat decides to jump out in front of you out of nowhere. you yelp and grab onto ushijima’s sleeve, startled by the sudden movement. 

he chuckles and much to your dismay (and shock), squats down and starts psps-ing at the orange cat. you are not sure how much gap moe he could be than this image in front of you right now. for starters, you are not sure if you are hallucinating from how tired you are, and secondly, if this is real, you need proof that this ever happened. so you sneakily take your phone out before calling his name innocently and snap a photo of him and the cat before he can react. 

“i’m gonna let that slide.” he puts his hand out in front of him in what looked like an attempt to pet the cat. you aren’t faking the shock on your face as the cat sniffs at his fingers before brushing up against his hand, as if saying pet me.

your jaw drops from the sight, “oh yeah? you don’t seem like the type.” you wanted to pet the cat, but this cat has only ever hissed at you in passing, so you are completely in awe and jealous of ushijima at this moment.

“only for you,” he turns to really look at you, a small smile playing on his lips. and then, as if he sensed the yearning in you, he tugs on your wrist lightly. “here, hold your hand out for the cat to sniff you.”

you listen to him warily, slowly inching towards the cat in case it tries to attack you, “like this?”

he hums in agreement, “and then, you wait for him to decide if you can pet him.” 

surely enough, the cat starts sniffing you, tail brushing against ushijima’s knees. you carefully smooth the fur between his ears, feeling awed for the acceptance. though shortly after, he returns to the boy next to you, rubbing its head against his hand. “he likes you more than me”

“i am a cat whisperer,” he nods. 

you laugh at his words. before you realize it, the words start falling from your lips. “my little sister was a cat whisperer too” 

and as if being doused with a bucket of ice water, you snap back into reality, painfully aware of your admission. your heart thunders as memories threaten to overwhelm you. stop. turn. lock. you picture shoving them into a bottomless box, locking it and throwing the key away until the next time they break free. just as you have practiced for the last 8 years. 

“miyamura?” ushijima looks at you expectantly as you snap back into the present. 

“yeah? i am feeling a little tired. let’s go.” you stand up abruptly, hoping that he won’t ask you about what you just said. that you mentioned having a sister to this boy you just became friends with a few months ago. you haven’t said those words out loud in a long time. you don’t even remember when the last time was.

to his credit, he does not ask any prying questions about the sister he has never heard of. the sister he has never seen. 

you don’t even realize that you were shaking, mostly from reliving your memories, but also shivering from the chilly night breeze until he drapes a jacket over your shoulders. 

“let’s get you home” he states, hands shoved into his pant pockets as he strolls ahead. 

leaving you staring at his retreating figure, brain muddled and heart jumbled. you vaguely remember him grabbing his track jacket and carrying it instead of putting it on before you left shiratorizawa. 

“are you coming?” he turns around to look at you. you hurry towards his familiar aura that encompasses your roughness, as he strikes up another conversation about something random. that night you lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling with paint scars from when it used to have glow-in-the-dark stars and planets taped to it; one question keeping you awake despite your exhaustion – what is it about this boy that makes you feel so safe?

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